Jun
8

Welcome to Wally World




Posted at 17:30 by Tintin


ABOVE: Walter Williams, John M. Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University

Shorter Walter Williams, Clown Hall:
Irksome Things

  • Stupid people are really the smart ones and smart people are stupid. Now let me give you a few grammar tips to show you how I am a smart person who is actually smart. Please don’t call me stupid for misusing “predication,” but if you do, that’s just further proof that I am really a smart smart person and you are a stupid smart person.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

527 Comments »

  1. lawfam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 17:37

    Fustest! Whoo Hoo!

  2. puravida said,

    June 8, 2011 at 17:39

    “I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person…”

    Ummmmm, Iraq, Afghanistan, the U.S. economy, Katrina response…

    What?! Oh, my mistake, Professor, W was actually a genius pretending to be a dolt.

  3. thats right... said,

    June 8, 2011 at 17:41

    you know who else thought they were really smart?

  4. Mark said,

    June 8, 2011 at 17:49

    Even Shorter Walt Williams:

    I am an asshole. Let me prove it to you by writing this column…

  5. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 17:59

    There are a lot of things, large and small, that irk me. One of them is our tendency to evaluate a presidential candidate based on his intelligence or academic credentials. When Obama threw his hat in the ring, people thought he was articulate and smart and hailed his intellectual credentials. Just recently, when Newt Gingrich announced his candidacy, people hailed his intellectual credentials and smartness as well.

    LOLWUT? Candidate evaluation: You’re doing it wrong.

  6. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:02

    interesting to note on the sidebar that coulter has an autobiography out…

  7. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:04

    Another mini-irk is to hear someone say something such as “Dave and myself went shopping.”

    Walt and myself share a peeve–oh wait, a mini-irk.

  8. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:04

    I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person, but those caused by intelligent, articulate persons are too numerous to count, from the likes of Hitler, Stalin and Mao to Woodrow Wilson, FDR and Obama.

    george w. bush…q.e.d, muthafuckah!

  9. RoedoBob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:06

    Wait, when did Andy Rooney become black?

  10. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:12

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”Walter Williams, John M. Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University

    I’ve asked the operator whether I’d reach my party if I dialed 77o. She’d reply that I’d have to dial 770. Then I’d ask her why she told me to dial 77o, telling her there is a difference between o and zero. I would explain that the letter o is defined as a vowel and the 15th letter of our alphabet. By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number. Needless to say, our conversation would go downhill and reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    this a-hole is the real reason we no longer have real, live operators…

    also, i’m going to start this column talking about one thing which really could be a pretty interesting column, but then i’m going to end it by concluding with grammatical errors that piss me off…to paraphrase myself, this article is really shitty because “I, myself, wrote this column.”

  11. Citizen_X said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:12

    Wait a minute, what major calamities were supposedly engineered by FDR or Obama? I mean, besides “teh SOCIALISMS!!!”

    Not getting out of the boat to find out.

  12. RoedoBob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:14

    I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person, but those caused by intelligent, articulate persons are too numerous to count, from the likes of Hitler, Stalin and Mao to Woodrow Wilson, FDR and Obama.

    Likewise, I challenge anyone to show me a plane crash where stupid, inarticulate people were flying the plane! Those plane crashes with trained, educated pilots at the helm are too numeorus to count! But when the pilots were naked, asleep, or playing video games, there were no plane crashes!

    I challenge anyone to show me a weapon of mass destruction that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person. Those created by engineers, chemists, physicists, and scientists are too numerous to count!

    I challenge anyone to show me a nuclear meltdown when stupid, intarticulate people were running the plant. Every major meltdown occurred when trained, nuclear technicians were on-site!

    I challenge anyone to show me a mass-marketed drug with undisclosed, lethal side-effects that was created by a stupid, inarticulate person, while drugs like Vioxx and Thalidimyde were created by educated doctors, biologists, and chemists!

  13. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:14

    Wait a minute, what major calamities were supposedly engineered by FDR or Obama?

    i think we will have to wait for the time machne to get here before we find out…

  14. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:18

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”

    Yeah, like when the Philosophy Department of Keio University bombed Pearl Harbor!

    Warning, Princeton has the bomb!!!

  15. yerk said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:19

    By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number. Needless to say, our conversation would go downhill and reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    From the Macmillan Dictionary online for the definition of “oh”:

    a way of saying ‘zero’, used for example when you are telling someone a telephone number or saying a date, such as 1908

  16. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:25

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”

    why does wally h8 himself?

  17. Sophist said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:30

    There are less important things that irk me. One of them is teleological explanations. I’ve listened to TV weather reports and heard the weatherman say, “There will be morning clouds, but the sun will try to come out later in the day.” Often, the weatherman’s predication is wrong, and it remains cloudy all day. Would the weatherman explain that the day remained cloudy because the sun didn’t try hard enough? Trying to do something is purposeful behavior. Inanimate objects cannot engage in purposeful behavior.

    I think that regular, average Americans who operate on common sense are better than snooty intellectuals. Also, allow me to explain in a snootily intellectual fashion why the way that average people use the intentional stance as a common sense shorthand when making predictions is technically incorrect, the worst kind of incorrect.

  18. El Manquécito said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:30

    Needless to say, our conversation would go downhill and reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    I imagine that he’s pretty well used to this by now.

  19. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:32

    I challenge anyone to show me a weapon of mass destruction that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person. Those created by engineers, chemists, physicists, and scientists are too numerous to count!

    Well, the first fusion bomb built by that idiot Teller at Lawrence Livermore (the lab he had to have built for himself because all the people at Los Alamos were commies), was a dud because he forgot what’s nowadays called the “interstage”—the heavy cap on one end of the secondary that prevents the primary from disrupting it before it has time to implode.

  20. werner said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:36

    I’m not clicking the link, but is this some kind of argument for putting Sarah Palin in the Highest Office in the Land? Is that what he’s going for?

    Does he not make the connection that stupid people typically don’t fuck up the world because they are way too stupid to achieve any position from which they might do so? That you’d have to go back to a hereditary monarchy for that to happen?

    This isn’t rocket science, is it?

  21. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:37

    You know who else disliked and distrusted intellectuals?

  22. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:38

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”

    cracked begs to differ…

  23. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:40

    yeah, i meant to use this quote: “I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person…”

    now i fell dum…

  24. Ted the Slacker said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:43

    I challenge anyone to show me a weapon of mass destruction that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person.

    This.

    Alternative Shorter Wally:

    Blart blart blart Hitler, Stalin and Mao to Woodrow Wilson, FDR and Obama blart blart thx. This ad was brought to you by Koch industries.

  25. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:46

    All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.

    Negroes are allowed to speak to white people without saying sir!

  26. Marco said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:47

    Meez dumberer for reading that.

  27. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:49

    I challenge anyone to show me a weapon of mass destruction that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person.

    I challenge Wally to give me his mom’s phone number.

  28. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:51

    Whoops, I just pulled a bbkf.

  29. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:58

    Whoops, I just pulled a bbkf.

    hey now! wait…are you saying i am smart?

  30. puravida said,

    June 8, 2011 at 18:59

    “Does he not make the connection that stupid people typically don’t fuck up the world because they are way too stupid to achieve any position from which they might do so?”

    Peter, go see the principle RIGHT NOW!

  31. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:00

    Anywho,
    I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person

    Michael Brown’s response to Katrina?
    The majority of forest fires?
    The popularity of reality teevee?

  32. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:00

    ….ordinary intelligence but great respect and love for our Constitution

    Kucinich 2112 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:01

    hey now! wait…are you saying i am smart?

    Perhaps it was just an euphemism.

  34. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:02

    An irritant along mathematical lines is when the telephone information operator tells me that the number for the party I wish to reach is 285-77o-8855.

    What did you just say? What the fuck did you just say? Did you say “o,” as in the letter of the alphabet? Not “0,” or “zero,” the digit? You. Fucking. Bitch. I am going to punch you in the face. Repeat that back to me with “zero,” please. My notepad has an “o” in the wrong place. Hello? Hello?

  35. N__B said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:04

    “I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person…”

    Goofy and Scooby Doo got in all sorts of messes and I never heard either one of them speak intelligibly.

  36. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:04

    “Whoops, I just pulled a bbkf PENIS.

    Diaskeuastized because every D-KW comment needs PENIS.

  37. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:05

    pulling a bbkf

  38. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:06

    that’s a euphemism i can get behind!

  39. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:06

    Michael Brown’s response to Katrina?
    The majority of forest fires?
    The popularity of reality teevee?

    Michelle Fucking Bachmann? Somebody had to vote for the bitch.

  40. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:07

    Goofy and Scooby Doo got in all sorts of messes and I never heard either one of them speak intelligibly

    also, wile e. coyote was always blowing shit up real good…

  41. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:08

    Kucinich 2112

    Will his running mate be one of the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx?

  42. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:08

    Darned intellectuals get in the way of beating women over the head with clubs.

  43. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:09

    Michelle Fucking Bachmann? Somebody had to vote for the bitch.

    didntcha read the article tsam?!?! chelle LOVES the constitution*, therefore she’s SMART!!!

    *she might love the constitution, but she certainly doesn’t know it**

    **not a vc’alr

  44. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:10

    I called an order into Papa Gino’s the other day. When I got there to pick it up the cashier could not find the record of my order in the computer. I checked my cell phone and verified that I’d called the right location. The cashier asked some of the other employees. Meanwhile, another customer was having what sounded like a very frantic and annoyed conversation on his own cell phone.

    It turned out that the cashier had accidentally charged that guy for my order, thus deleting it from the system. “Excuse me, sir,” she said to him, “can I have your credit card back?” “What do you need that for?,” he said. She explained the mix-up and said she had to correct the charge. “Gee, that was stupid,” the guy said to her, “I hope you get it right.” Then he apologized to me.

    Surprisingly, it was not Walter Williams.

  45. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:11

    Does this mean that the world would be less fucked with Azathoth the HPL blind idiot god than with teh smartypants Yahweh/Jeebus?

  46. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:11

    Speaking of stupid people, I think somebody just stumbled upon a plan to fight global warming that Sarah Palin could really get behind.

  47. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:12

    ,,,every D-KW comment needs PENIS.

    On that note, I’m pretty sure this PENIS is going to draw some AHEMs so instead here’s PENIS, SlutWalk Edition

  48. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:13

    Wait a minute, what major calamities were supposedly engineered by FDR or Obama?

    Well, let’s see. Obama gets the recession, the Afghanistan War, Katrina, the ’04 tsunami, probably the Johnstown Flood, 9/11, the Iraq War… no, wait, that last one was Clinton’s fault.

    FDR’s culpability is left as an exercise for the reader.

  49. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:15

    also, wile e. coyote was always blowing shit up real good…

    He was a super genius.

  50. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:17

    FDR’s culpability is left as an exercise,,,

    Well that’s pretty damned insensitive. HE HAD POLIO!

  51. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:18

    I AM NOT A SLUT. My PENIS is.

  52. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:18

    I really don’t get it, do these people watch “Idiocracy” and think it’s something to aspire to? Like they read 1984 as a convenient how-to guide?

    With Bachmann probably running, the answer seems to be: sadly, yes.

  53. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:23

    Inanimate objects cannot engage in purposeful behavior.

    Wow, grammatical animism really goads him.

  54. N__B said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:25

    Inanimate objects cannot engage in purposeful behavior.

    What about inanime objects, which lack large eyes and enormous breasts?

  55. Mark D said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:29

    All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world. I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person …

    How’s about this?

  56. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:30

    ….ordinary intelligence but great respect and love for our Constitution

    Kucinich 2112 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Have you seen pictures of Kucininich’s wife? That man is a fucking genius.

  57. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:31

    I bet Walter Williams, conservative economist, has never written about “the markets” as if they engage in purposeful behavior.

  58. N__B said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:32

    Speaking of euphemisms, I have apparently vexed B^4′s lacuna. It boggles the mind.

  59. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:33

    All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.

    Tellingly, he doesn’t actually provide any of this evidence.

  60. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:33

    Speaking of euphemisms, I have apparently vexed B^4?s lacuna. It boggles the mind.

    Broken links make broken hearts, bubby!

  61. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:38

    Lexing the vicuna.

  62. Chris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:39

    Wait a minute, what major calamities were supposedly engineered by FDR or Obama? I mean, besides “teh SOCIALISMS!!!”

    That’s enough in and of itself, but I believe the response is that FDR caused the Great Depression and Obama caused the current recession. (That’s the line used in the street: if pressed about it on national television, they’ll simply say the more hair-splitting “FDR prolonged the Great Depression” and “Obama made the economy worse by failing to fix it.”)

  63. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:40

    Inanimate objects cannot engage in purposeful behavior.

    Oooh, don’t let McGravy see this.

    [Adjective] [noun, plural] cannot [active verb] [preposition] [adjective] behaviour.

    Ontological calliopes cannot vote around grandiose behaviour!
    Exceptional paradigms cannot eat under atmospheric behaviour!

  64. Chris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:41

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”

    A standard line on the right, which ignores the fact that the power academics and intellectuals hold in society is virtually zero, certainly when compared to politicians, businessmen or other people with actual power. It’s also why anti-intellectualism is so wildly popular on the right; it’s “stick it to the elites” for chickenshits.

  65. Chris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:42

    And OT but worth it: Stars collide: Bachmann vs. Palin.

    Ginger, get the popcorn.

  66. Arky said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:48

    Mi Brainz. Let me show u them.

  67. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:51

    Have you seen pictures of Kucininich’s wife? That man is a fucking genius.

    Or, he’s hung like a New Zealand schoolyard.
    .

  68. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:53

    Teh DENIS!!!!!!!!!

  69. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:54

    I have apparently vexed B^4?s lacuna

    WOOF.

    I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person …

    How’s about this?

  70. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:58

    but a writer on the blog that serves as her supporters’ main voice, Conservatives4Palin, demanded that the Minnesota congresswoman “either affirm her support for the long-time beltway fossil’s idiotic comments…or refudiate them.”

    conservative humor or irony?

  71. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:00

    How’s about this?

    i see what you did there…well done, you. martini?

  72. Mark D said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:07

    tigris — yours is much better.

    And, ya know, funny.

    I did, however, spend part of my time at red lights while running errands thinking of the ways that “academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.” It’s quite the list, since we have:

    * Penicillin
    * Mathematics
    * Physics
    * Modern surgical techniques
    * The very computers the dipshits at Clown Hall use to write vomit forth their articles screeds.
    * The Intratubes
    * Structural engineering
    * Powered flight
    * Electricity
    * Satellites
    * Plumbing (and the accompanying understanding of fluid dynamics)
    * And many more!!

    All of these have obviously fucked shit up beyond all acceptable levels. Thus, only stupid people should be allowed to do stuff because they’re actually too stupid to do anything.

    BACK TO THE PALEOLITHIC, BITCHEZ!!

  73. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:07

    So disappointed. Seeing “Irksome things” and reading the shorter I thought the link would take me to RedState.

  74. Mark said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:09

    Tigris – Sometimes my linky is FAIL. :(

  75. Irion said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:11

    I’m impressed he showed enough restraint to wait until the 3rd paragraph to mention Hitler.

  76. Raspar Capac said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:17

    I didn’t know Dennis Kucinich had married Julianne Moore.

  77. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:20

    Someone, at some time, likely tried to explain to Wally that the weatherman was just being cute. That was surely the last time that person ever tried to engage Wally in informal conversation. The part of Wally was played by T&U’s 12-inch black dildo.

  78. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:21

    All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.

    Tellingly, he doesn’t actually provide any of this evidence.

    All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world because they messed up the world

    There, happy now?

    Stupid liberals.

  79. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:21

    “So disappointed. Seeing “Irksome things” and reading the shorter I thought the link would take me to RedState.”

    Not enough $$$$.

  80. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:25

    All the evidence one could want has been previously supplied by David HorrorWits. I would supply a link but the truth of it is so obvious that citations are unnecessary.

  81. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:27

    Speaking of stupid people, I think somebody just stumbled upon a plan to fight global warming that Sarah Palin could really get behind.

    Shit, can’t they think of a less petroleum-intensive method to kill the critters? Also, I’ve never eaten camel meat, could it be marketed as “Outback steaks”?

    Now, I’m hankering for hump hash.

  82. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:28

    So,for example, The U.S. Constitution. Disaster because written by smart people? Or good because written by stupid people?

    Or is it that the good parts were written by the stupid Founders, and the bad parts were written by the smart ones?

    I’m not even sure I could guess which parts Wally would put in each category.
    Maybe I’m stupid, which makes me correct.
    HAH!!!!

  83. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:30

    John M. Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University

    What a whore that place turned into. I used to play in chess tournaments there back in the 70s.
    ~

  84. rodertudis said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:31

    Good morning people. Today we will be examining a particularly idiotic branch of economics expounded upon in the well known book, Theory of Games and Economic Behavior, by Neumann and Morgenstern.

    After that, we will take a look at the nursery rime I wrote for my two grandchildren.

  85. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:33

    And OT but worth it: Stars collide: Bachmann vs. Palin.

    2 girls, 1 GOP

  86. Hoosier X said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:34

    You know who else is a professor of economics?

    Thomas Sowell

  87. Hoosier X said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:34

    Economics: The social science that thinks it’s physics.

  88. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:35

    2 girls, 1 GOP

    Applause.

  89. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:35

    I must admit, teh lure of Hitler got me outta da boat, but it’s not teh Hitler-mangoes that got me mostest.

    Another grammatical irritant is a statement such as “John is taller than me.” Hearing such a grammatical error, Dr. Martin Rosenberg, my high school English teacher, would pitch a fit, sarcastically asking, “Do you mean John is taller than me am?”

    Me am sure there is no exceptions, though
    A man no mightier than thyself or me
    Has used that word preposition-ally
    In Wally’s defense, his mom is good at conjunction.

  90. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:35

    “And OT but worth it: Stars collide: Bachmann vs. Palin.

    2 girls, 1 GOP”

    What a shitty image

  91. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:36

    Walter Williams, John M. Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University

    One thing we can discern easily: a lack of intelligence has no influence on reaching the “heights” of the “science” of economics.

  92. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:37

    Shit, can’t they think of a less petroleum-intensive method to kill the critters? Also, I’ve never eaten camel meat, could it be marketed as “Outback steaks”?

    Now, I’m hankering for hump hash.

    Eating the camel
    Hankering for hump

    Not euphemisms.

  93. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:37

    Speaking of bogfucking stupid, or perhaps just pandering to the bogfucking stupid, which is at least as awful.

  94. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:38

    2 girls, 1 GOP

    Agree with SMcG.
    +1

  95. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:39

    Bachmann will “be so much more substantive,” Rollins said. “People are going to say, ‘I gotta make a choice and go with the intelligent woman who’s every bit as attractive.”

    I can’t believe that I still get shocked by Stupid Things Republicans Say™ but this statement made me throw up a little. Just in my throat–not like, all over my desk ‘n junk.

  96. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:42

    In Wally’s defense, his mom is good at conjunctionvitus

  97. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:42

    Looking at my link again, I’m confused as to whether The Onion has changed its URL.

    I’ll third the applause on “2 girls, 1 GOP”

  98. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:48

    tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:39

    Well, a sea anemone is more substantial. That Bachmann is trying to compete with a negative value, and doing poorly at it, is astonishing.

    Also, throwing up all over your junk is nasty.

  99. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:48

    ‘Bachmann will “be so much more substantive,” Rollins said. “People are going to say, ‘I gotta make a choice and go with the intelligent woman who’s every bit as attractive.”’

    Why not go for the hat trick? Intelligent, attractive, and a businesswoman. Ladies and gentlemen, the next President of the United States, Jenna Jameson!1!!11!

  100. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:50

    Ladies and gentlemen, the next President of the United States, Jenna Jameson!1!!11!

    I hear she really knows how to behave with erections.

  101. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:54

    CAIN: Engage the people. Don’t try to pass a 2,700 page bill — and even they didn’t read it! You and I didn’t have time to read it. We’re too busy trying to live — send our kids to school. That’s why I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table. What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?

    does not one single candidate/politician know how to speak in complete sentences anymore?!?! ffs!!

  102. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 20:54

    Jenna Jameson!1!!11!

    as long as her running mate is a botlle of

  103. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:00

    The suspense is killing me…

  104. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:04

    beer?

  105. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:05

    silicone?

  106. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:07

    Brazilian bikini wax?

  107. N__B said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:09

    B^4 – the link is live again. Your lacuna may now be filled, as long as I don’t have to watch.

  108. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:09

    Shorter Jonah Goldberg:

    Even though no president runs the economy, the bad economy is Obama’s fault because sometimes he acts cocky.

  109. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:11

    Verbatim paragraph from aforementioned Goldberg:

    And then there’s the stimulus, which the White House still touts as an unqualified success. Well, during Obama’s first year in office, more than half (119,000) of all the new jobs in the United States were created in business-friendly Texas, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. If Obama created those jobs, why’d he put so many of them in, of all places, George W. Bush’s home state?

    QED, I guess.

  110. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:13

    Also, throwing up all over your junk is nasty.

    I’ve added you to my newsletter mailing list

  111. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:21

    Goldberg’s column is just musing aloud about something to be really really mad about. He never quite gets there.

  112. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:23

    Heh, comment on Rolling Stone article about Olbermann’s return:

    Keith is a socialist. Seems funny to me, that a magazine dedicated to Rock and Roll, music often-times dedicated to freedom and self-expression would waste “print” space on a guy who believes in the destruction of the free market, enforced political correctness and conformity. Rock and Roll used to be about rebellion from the status quo, what happened? I rebelled today, I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat (rather than putting it in my gas tank via ethanol).

    FREEDUMB!!!!

    Stupid wingnut, excess ain’t rebellion, you’re drinking what they’re sellin’.

  113. bbkf said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:24

    as long as her running mate is a botlle of

    jameson’s…duh!

  114. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:26

    Bottle of Jameson’s? Sorry. Not qualified. Irish.

  115. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:26

    I rebelled today, I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat (rather than putting it in my gas tank via ethanol).

    This motherfucker is HARDCORE.

  116. Djur said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:28

    I like that Williams progresses from vaguely understandable sentiments (presidents shouldn’t be judged on intellectual accomplishment) through silly nitpicks of sloppy speech (“John and myself”, which is an example of overcorrecting caused by prescriptivist dweebs like Walter) and on to perfectly good but insufficiently Latinate English (“taller than me”) and, finally, to complaining about a universal usage of ancient pedigree (using “oh” for “zero” in a read-out sequence of numbers).

    “Oh” for “zero” is really old. It is older than Walter, I think, although he’s pretty old, so maybe not. Reading out a phone number is not a mathematical exercise, Walt. But griping about how it should have been “Giddy-up, four-zero-nine” is even squarer than when George Will complained about how grown men these days wear blue-jeans, instead of nice tweed pants and bowties like his own self. It is even crustier than that time famed Wm. F. Buckley impersonator F. Emmett Tyrrell envisioned a young man “crapulent after a few beers and a sack of Doritos”.

  117. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:28

    jameson’s…duh!

    I didn’t know they made a bottle of 35 year. Man that must be smooth.

  118. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:30

    Also:

    Rock and Roll used to be about rebellion from the status quo, what happened?

    For about 10 minutes, yeah.

    Hippies were about something for about 10 minutes too.

    Punk was about something for about 10 minutes.

    Hell, Obama was about something once, I think. Seems like a million years ago that he was the ONE guy saying “NO DUMB WARS” on the teevee and eating all kinds of rightwhing boxwhine for it.

    Let’s all pretend that just because we like it, it isn’t about the fucking money and fame.

  119. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:31

    Rock and Roll used to be about rebellion from the status quo, what happened?

    You saw a lot of this type of rhetoric when the Wisconsin protests were in full swing. “They used to be against the establishment! Now that the unions have contracts the protesters should be anti-union!!!!!” Rebel Without a Cause: the title is now a guiding principle in and of itself.

  120. Liz212 said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:31

    Hitler and Stalin weren’t really that intelligent, but were skilled in certain ways that allowed them to get and keep power. Stalin in fact tried to learn philosophy but couldn’t, because he appears to have had absolutely no capacity for abstract thought. Plus, he wasn’t even that articulate, and his cult of personality was created by using various forms of media. As for Hitler, I’d say there’s a difference between truly being articulate and being convincing and talented with rhetoric. I don’t know nearly enough about Mao to speculate, and that, Mr Williams, is how smart people actually behave; they read books so they can have real informed opinions, and if they haven’t done the necessary research, they shut the fuck up. They don’t prove their intelligence by being ridiculously pedantic with operators.

  121. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:31

    Call me an anti-MacIntosh, but I’ve always preferred the flavor of Irish Whiskey to Scotch.

  122. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:33

    “Oh” for “zero” is really old.

    So are phone numbers that begin with the township/subdivision.

    When I was a little tiny kid, I used to enjoy calling for the time.

    TI4-8901

    Excellent.

  123. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:34

    “Stalin in fact tried to learn philosophy but couldn’t, because he appears to have had absolutely no capacity for abstract thought”

    Sorta like a certain economics professor who can’t understand when a weatherman is trying to be cute…………..

  124. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:36

    Seems like a million years ago that he was the ONE guy saying “NO DUMB WARS” on the teevee and eating all kinds of rightwhing boxwhine for it.

    Nah, he said that when he was a state senator thinking about a U.S. Senate primary. He’s been a Very Serious Person ever since he won the Democratic nomination for that seat. Actually, since before that; Dreams From My Father is really just 250 pages of “can’t we all just get along?”

  125. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:36

    http://www.aina.org/news/2011060614956.htm

    Can’t. Stop. Chuckling.

  126. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:36

    but I’ve always preferred the flavor of Irish Whiskey to Scotch.

    Me too, though I’m perfectly content with a Corona or Kokanee, or cheap Canadian Whiskey or Captain Morgan’s.

    Stay thirsty my friends.

  127. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:39

    “can’t we all just get along?”

    He STOLED THAT

  128. smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:40

    “Stay thirsty my friends.”

    After my morning coffee, I fly home from Colombia.

  129. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:41

    I’m perfectly content with a Corona or Kokanee, or cheap Canadian Whiskey or Captain Morgan’s.

    It’s cheaper and easier to just bash yourself in the head with a mallet — the headache won’t be as bad with the mallet though, so you might have to bash a few times to get the proper throb going.

  130. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:43

    Just so you know, Mr. Williams, that intellectually speaking, it is good practice to murder intelligent people who try to dissuade others from paying attention to intellectuals or aspiring to be an intellectually driven society.

    Creating irrational fear of the intelligentsia is a pedestrian tactic of fascists. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

  131. Whale Chowder said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:43

    You know who else disliked and distrusted intellectuals?

    Pol Pot?

    How’d that work out, BTW?

  132. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:44

    It’s cheaper and easier to just bash yourself in the head with a mallet — the headache won’t be as bad with the mallet though, so you might have to bash a few times to get the proper throb going.

    If I want my head to throb, I use the google. I find nothing stimulating about a mallet.

  133. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:47

    After my morning coffee, I fly home from Colombia.

    You flying into Los Angeles?

  134. mark f said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:50

    BBBB has been rappin’ with the fuzz. Unfortunately Arlo has been rappin’ with Ron Paul.

  135. Chris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:53

    Hitler and Stalin weren’t really that intelligent, but were skilled in certain ways that allowed them to get and keep power. Stalin in fact tried to learn philosophy but couldn’t, because he appears to have had absolutely no capacity for abstract thought. Plus, he wasn’t even that articulate, and his cult of personality was created by using various forms of media. As for Hitler, I’d say there’s a difference between truly being articulate and being convincing and talented with rhetoric. I don’t know nearly enough about Mao to speculate, and that, Mr Williams, is how smart people actually behave; they read books so they can have real informed opinions, and if they haven’t done the necessary research, they shut the fuck up. They don’t prove their intelligence by being ridiculously pedantic with operators.

    Hitler strikes me as a seething ball of resentment who had a bad time as a kid and tried to make the whole world pay for it as a grown-up. Brilliant campaigner, really capable of resonating with, relating to, firing up and inspiring his audience. Horrific leader, whose passions, prejudices and resentments completely overrode any rationality in his mind. (Unless there’s another explanation for his catastrophic leadership during World War Two).

    Not sure where that ranks on the intelligence spectrum, but I think the guy was kind of a tool. (Regardless of his moral failings, I mean).

  136. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:59

    Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 8, 2011 at 19:18 (kill)

    I really don’t get it, do these people watch “Idiocracy” and think it’s something to aspire to? Like they read 1984 as a convenient how-to guide?

    With Bachmann probably running, the answer seems to be: sadly, yes.
    #

    Well it’s not all bad…here’s my favorite redhead in her apparently uncredited role in Idiocracy, as the Attorney-General, AKA “Funbags”. Now that’s the kind of Justicatin’ I can get behind!

  137. Smut Clyde said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:59

    that’s a euphemism i can get behind!
    You do that, you will reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table. What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?

    Or perhaps the conversation will be “Why is President Herman Cain involved in the legislative branch?”

  138. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:03

    Or perhaps the conversation will be “Why is President Herman Cain involved in the legislative branch?”

    Because consttution and shutup thats y.

  139. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:03

    Too lazy to look for the link, if there is one, but none of the scooter trash contingent really want to read it, so:

    “Traumatic Testicular Displacement in Motorcycle Drivers” – journal article title of the day.

  140. rodertudis said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:05

    Rock and Roll used to be about rebellion from the status quo, what happened?

    Ditto country/western, then annexed by the Rright, likewise motorcycle gangs. Pretty soon, they’ll have the convicts, the narcotrificantes, and the hiphoppers (if they would just pull their pants up).

  141. Steerpike said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:06

    Traumatic Testicular Displacement

    AKA, the Teabaggers
    That or the worst new band name ever

  142. The Internet Jerk said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:07

    Talking of Scotch, this is the guy Bruce Tinsley wants to be President of the United States.

  143. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:13

    Rock and Roll used to be about rebellion from the status quo, what happened? I rebelled today, I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat (rather than putting it in my gas tank via ethanol).

    Rock and roll has always been about keeping things the same as they were back in the good old days.

  144. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:23

    here’s my favorite redhead in her apparently uncredited role in Idiocracy, as the Attorney-General, AKA “Funbags”

    Astounding! The VR Battleaxe has discovered photos of “Chunky” Reese Witherspoon.

  145. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:23

    You know what’s really rebellious here in the twenty first century? Rock and/or Roll. Them Rock and Roll bands are teh mostest subversives EVAR. Totes non-mainstream. Despised and reviled by people in positions of Authoritah.

  146. rodertudis said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:29

    Now that’s the Spirit!

  147. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:33

    Gawd demonstrates that evangelicals from the Air Force Academy are not his favorite people:

    HATTIESBURG, MS (WDAM) – Camp Shelby Joint Forces Training Center is sending 77 Air Force Cadet personnel to local hospitals in the Hattiesburg area for medical evaluation after being in the area of a lighting strike at approximately 2 p.m.

    Four people were close to the lighting strike. Officials say all the people affected are in stable condition and are being transported to local hospitals for further medical evaluation.

    Col. Steve Parham, Camp Shelby Commander and all Camp Shelby Joint Forces Training Center personnel are responding to this event to ensure all personnel receive medical evaluation as quickly as possible.

    Copyright 2011 WDAM. All rights reserved.

    Also, copyright is theft, you crackers!

  148. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:34

    I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat (rather than putting it in my gas tank via ethanol).

    Holy shit! Where’d he find that stuff? The black market around here is lame.

  149. Mark D said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:35

    Scotch and Irish whiskey are not whiskey.

    Booker’s, Knob Creek, and Maker’s Mark — those are whiskey.

    Though I can’t drink alcohol due to my meds, and it’s now been three years since I’ve had any of those. Or a Boulevard Wheat (best … beer … EVEREVEREVEREVEREVERER).

    **sigh**

    It’s a shame, since I’m sure it would help me make sense of what the fuck this clown is yapping about.

    (Or, to make Walt a happy little pedantic fuckweasel: “It’s a shame, since I’m sure it would help me make sense of what the fuck about which this clown is yapping.” Or … um … fuck it. ENDING SENTENCES WITH PREPOSITIONS RULES! And I’m an actual professional writer, so I can change the rules whenever I want. Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah!)

  150. Another Kiwi said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:39

    Jeffraham Prestonian said,
    Or, he’s hung like a New Zealand schoolyard.

    Eh?

  151. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:44

    What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?

    What does Professor Williams think of this locution? Does it irk?

  152. Mark D said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:46

    So … we’ve really gotten to the point in which conservatives consider eating corn and doubling their electric bill the zenith of revolutionary action?

    Seems less “WOLVERINES!!!” and a lot more “CLINICALLYRETARDEDBUNNIES!!!” to me.

  153. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:47

    For Kiwi

  154. VS said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:52

    OT: Sarah Palin totally knows history

  155. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:53

    The Sarah Palin History Network explains the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

  156. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:53

    I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat (rather than putting it in my gas tank via ethanol).

    Putting in incandescent bulbs is stupid, but who favors corn ethanol other than the red state ag corporations getting the subsidies? And until recently their Republican rent boys?

  157. VS said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:53

    “Seems less “WOLVERINES!!!” and a lot more “CLINICALLYRETARDEDBUNNIES!!!” to me.”

    This is fairly bulging with win.

  158. John Revolta said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:54

    Personally, I think that most conservatives need to eat LOTS MORE corn and incandescent light bulbs.

    I think the guy (Hitler) was kind of a tool.

    Take your crazy radical ideas somewhere else, sir!!1!1!1

  159. Another Kiwi said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:54

    Thanks tigris,Those little japesters! They would have irked a few people when they said “Your etching of a penis is taller than I, John”

  160. Steerpike said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:54

    Eating a case of lightbulbs and corn makes….interesting…poop

  161. VS said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:55

    AHEM, M.!!!!!!!! I SAID “AHEM,” SIR!!!

  162. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:56

    This light-bulb-and-corn guy can’t even get that right. The corn-into ethanol crapola was a right-wing plot to buy 1.4 barrels of oil from the oil sheiks to get the energy to grow the equivalent of one barrel of oil in ethanol and send that money to the red-state land barons to cement their hold on our political system. He’s shooting himself in the foot. Besides, fluorescent lights have all that yummy mercury—almost as good as lead!

  163. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:56

    Scotch and Irish whiskey are not whiskey.

    Quite so, but not in the way you think. Scotch is whisky.

  164. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:57

    Holy shit! Where’d he find that stuff? The black market around here is lame.

    Betcha a case of corn that those light bulbs are going up his butt.

  165. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:58

    Oops—tigris beat me too it, and much more succinctly, too. *sob*

  166. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:58

    I rebelled today, I went out and bought a case of incandescent light bulbs and corn to eat

    Nice to know he’s getting his roughage.

  167. Mark D said,

    June 8, 2011 at 22:59

    Quite so, but not in the way you think. Scotch is whisky.

    Well played …

    **golf clap**

  168. Another Kiwi said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:00

    Which whisky makes one most frisky?
    It’s a question that is quite twisty.
    though both will, I’m told
    turn the landscape, a little misty

  169. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:02

    Damn you & cute little spawn too to hell, VS.

    (At least I linked to Team Coco, instead of that Huffington woman!)

  170. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:05

    For Kiwi w/ pix.

  171. tigris said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:06

    I once caught a case of the incandescent light bulbs, I was illumed for months.

  172. M. Bouffant said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:10

    Whatever gets you lit, sez I.

  173. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:11

    Thanks tigris,Those little japesters! They would have irked a few people when they said “Your etching of a penis is taller than I, John”

    Must’ve been a boozy night at the Old Entomologist… methinks those “little” japesters are riddled with guilt, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

  174. tsam said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:12

    I think the guy (Hitler) was kind of a tool.

    Hitler was the whole shed, my brother.

  175. LanceThruster said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:12

    “See the happy moron, he doesn’t give a damn, I wish I were a moron, My God perhaps I am,”

  176. VS said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:29

    “Damn you & cute little spawn too to hell, VS.

    (At least I linked to Team Coco, instead of that Huffington woman!)”

    Well, ya got me there.

  177. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:40

    smedley said,

    June 8, 2011 at 21:31

    Call me an anti-MacIntosh, but I’ve always preferred the flavor of Irish Whiskey to Scotch.

    I was brainwashed into loving Laphroig at 5b (a bar NYC”s alphabet city located on 5th Street between Avenues A&B…ok now I remember, it’s also called Sophie’s).

    But here in Columbus I learned that Paddy’s is pretty fine, as well.

    Stay thirsty!
    ~

  178. Pupienus said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:54

    But here in Columbus

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim Tressel HAHAHAHAHAHAAA

  179. LittlePig said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:56

    By the time he arrived at the school the next Monday, the grass was already dying and giant penises were emerging all over the property.

    Wow, Kiwis really are backwards – Friday night was when the giant penises came out when I was in high school.

  180. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:58

    I’m a Tullamore Dew man myself.

  181. LittlePig said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:59

    Quite so, but not in the way you think. Scotch is whisky.

    That’s where I thought he was going with it, too.

  182. Smut Clyde said,

    June 8, 2011 at 23:59

    Eating a case of lightbulbs and corn makes….interesting…poop

    Jim Rose (of the Jim Rose Circus) reckoned that after he ate two lightbulbs in one day, he shat a chandelier.

  183. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:00

    the grass was already dying and giant penises were emerging all over the property.

    Worst H. P. Lovecraft re-telling EVAH.

  184. Meatier Schouer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:01

    I’m sure Orwell would have just LOVED being used to defend Sarah Palin and Reagan. Also, yeah, Dub E. Dubz, inserting a quote about how intellectuals are st00pid into an article about how smart you are, and how annoyed you get with the teevee weathermen. Gooood call. Very, dare I say, intellectual.

    I don’t really care enough to read the whole article, but I see from his personal description that the title of the good Prof’s book is “More Liberty Means Less Government: Our Founders Knew This Well” which is, I assume, why they created it.

  185. LittlePig said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:01

    I’m a Tullamore Dew man myself.

    I’ve been tempted by that but haven’t taken the plunge.

    Apparently DEW was the distiller’s initials (odd factoid I picked up in the last couple of weeks)

  186. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:02

    Well, ya got me there.

    Also, I did not reveal where we both (no doubt) first saw it.

  187. LittlePig said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:04

    Worst H. P. Lovecraft re-telling EVAH.

    “The Crawling Cocks Of Carnopolis”

  188. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:09

    Worst H. P. Lovecraft re-telling EVAH.

    “The Crawling Cocks Of Carnopolis”

    “The Call of Cockthulu”

  189. LittlePig said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:12

    “as dawn broke, the fetid stench of smegma filled the air as the pernicious penii stealthily slithered towards the girls locker room…”

  190. LittlePig said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:14

    Need more eldrich, but I just couldn’t fit it in*

    *VPR

  191. puff said,

    June 9, 2011 at 0:57

    “as dawn broke, the fetid stench of smegma filled the air as the pernicious penii stealthily slithered towards the girls locker room…”

    Don’t forget the patented Lovecraftian ITALICS FOR MAXIMUM HORROR.

  192. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:07

    “Oh, oh, my Gawd, that haff face–that haff face on top of it … that face with one eye an’ wrinkly albino skin, an’ no foreskin, like the Whateleys…It was a eel, a snake, a worm sort o’ thing, but they was a haff-shaped man’s face on top of it, an’ it looked like Wizard Whateley’s, only it was yards an’ yards acrost….”

  193. folkbum said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:09

    @Meatier Schouer: He’s not even really quoting Orwell, but some bastardized version of an Orwell quote. In “Notes on Nationalism,” Orwell wrote, “One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool.” A quote that does not say what Williams’s version of it does.

    Full text of the Orwell essay:
    http://www.resort.com/~prime8/Orwell/nationalism.html

    One could argue that misquoting Orwell is irksome, too.

  194. N__B said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:10

    “Oh, oh, my Gawd, that haff face–that haff face on top of it … that face with one eye an’ wrinkly albino skin, an’ no foreskin, like the Whateleys…It was a eel, a snake, a worm sort o’ thing, but they was a haff-shaped man’s face on top of it, an’ it looked like Wizard Whateley’s, only it was yards an’ yards acrost….”

    The Lair of the White Worm was a disturbing movie.

  195. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:22

    Meanwhile, in Washington state, tsam’s sekrit identity revealed.

  196. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:23

    “Leprous” is also a good word.
    No-one could possibly have predicted that the sentient fungi from Mi-Go would be Phallus impudicus.

  197. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:31

    Reaching a strained and unpleasant end

  198. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:35

    AHEM.

  199. Whale Chowder said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:39

    Meanwhile, in Washington state, tsam’s sekrit identity revealed.

    So are you the puncher, the punchee or the weasel?

    Oh wait, you aren’t Doc Hastings are you?

  200. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:41

    That’s not a weasel. It’s a marten.

  201. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:48

    “as dawn broke, the fetid stench of smegma filled the air as the pernicious penii stealthily slithered towards the girls locker room…”

    Needs more glibbering.

  202. guitarist manqué said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:48

    Again with the h8ting on mustelids.

  203. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 1:55

    Smoting on stoats.

  204. guitarist manqué said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:00

    firming the ermine

  205. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:07

    The weasel going “Pop!”

  206. owlbear1 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:09

    Palming the face.

  207. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:12

    Mustelids are OK by me. What I hate are those marmots. Li’l bastards.

  208. guitarist manqué said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:15

    I’m OK with whistle pig hate. Woodchucks too.

  209. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:16

    Never carry a dead marten to a weasel fight.
    ~

  210. Lurking Canadian said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:16

    Once again, I urge you all to take these lemons and make of them lemonade. I think we should encourage this new vision of GOP governance. “I’m with stupid! Palin 2012.”. “Why choose competence? Pawlenty for President!”

    The bumper stickers write themselves.

  211. Bitter Scribe said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:25

    I would explain that the letter o is defined as a vowel and the 15th letter of our alphabet. By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number. Needless to say, our conversation would go downhill and reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    If there’s a hell, I hope this guy is there chained to a telephone switchboard, dealing with assholes like himself, one after another, for eternity.

  212. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:36

    Yeah, now if operators were still dragging out “fye-yuv” to distinguish it from “nine” instead of adding the extra syllable to “niner” like I learned to, that would be annoying.

    How does WW feel about Germans saying “Zwo” for “Zwei” on the phone, like backwoods Bavarian hicks? Inquiring minds want to know!

  213. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:46

    “How does WW feel about Germans saying “Zwo” for “Zwei” on the phone, like backwoods Bavarian hicks?”

    In my admittedlylimited experience the only Germans who say “Zwo” are backwoods Bavarian hicks (forgive the redundancy, I merely repeat the previous commenter).

    And the Schweizers but you know how _they_ are.

  214. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:53

    I only and always heard “zwo” in PA announcements in train stations.

  215. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:54

    I would explain that the letter o is defined as a vowel and the 15th letter of our alphabet. By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number.

    Pedantry FAIL.

    Needless to say, our conversation would go downhill and reach a strained and unpleasant end.

    No conversation could possibly go downhill from there. And by the way, WTF are you doing “conversing” with operators in the first place? the operators are only there to connect you to the party with whom you will eventually converse and besides, sex chat lines have been direct dialable since their inception.

  216. SarahPlain&Tall said,

    June 9, 2011 at 2:58

    Sir, I humblishly accept the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

  217. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:07

    I can’t help imagining the conversations this man has with librarians, as he explains to them that Library of Congress Call Numbers cannot possibly be numbers since they contain alphabetic characters as well as digits.

  218. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:13

    Sorry, Poopy; I was only retailing what they taught us in my high school German class, but most of that was during the Johnson administration. I guess things have changed.

  219. Exasperated PABX operator said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:13

    By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number.
    Sir, the final character in the extension you have asked for is clearly not a feckin’ zero since it cannot be added or subtracted from another character; it is not a feckin’ number. If you don’t like me calling it an O then feel free to stick your telephone handpiece up your own O. Have a nice day. This conversation has been recorded for the purpose of playing back later in the tea-room and making fun of our more obtuse customers.

  220. guitarist manqué said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:15

    As a tenured econamalist it’s probably been years since he talked to a librarian. Dismal science indeed.

  221. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:23

    I majored in economickin’.

    This is all you need to know.
    ~

  222. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:45

    “Economics” is just a euphemism for blackmail: Give us what we want or you’ll starve to death in the gutter. A “free” market is one where you’re perfectly “free” to starve to death in the gutter if Economics has no use for you at the moment.

    There are some places (like Seattle and San Francisco that I’m familiar with) where homelessness is illegal, and they’ll slap your ass in jail if you try to starve to death in the gutter. These are not “free markets”. The solution to this is to privatize the jails, so that “freedom” reigns all the way down.

  223. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:48

    Meanwhile, in Washington state, tsam’s sekrit identity revealed.

    Hee hee. Hoquaim.

  224. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:50

    Hee hee. Hoquaim.

    Could have been Humptulips. For better or worse….

  225. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:50

    Oh wait, you aren’t Doc Hastings are you?

    Too many clues! Boxwhine lady will figure it out.

  226. Exasperated PABX operator said,

    June 9, 2011 at 3:57

    Some would say that to insist on treating the arbitrarily-pronounced string of symbols that defines a telephone extension as digits (though the extension has neither cardinal nor ordinal properties) is to commit the error of hyper-correction. Concidentally, this is the same error that WW complains of others making when they misuse pronouns like “myself”.
    I could not possibly comment.

  227. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 9, 2011 at 4:11

    Shorter WW: George F Will thinks he’s a sanctimonious little prick? I’ll show that piker!
    ~

  228. Another Kiwi said,

    June 9, 2011 at 4:15

    Why does WW hate teh sainted armed forces and their ‘Oh 800 hours’ times?
    “Si,r I could note storm the gun emplacement since my orders had numbers and letters in it, Sir”

  229. Another Kiwi said,

    June 9, 2011 at 4:17

    He was in the 5th Spanish Pirates division, where the correct form of adress is “Si, R”.
    So there

  230. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 4:48

    OK, P-Max, is “The Ho” sporting a striped shirt & sport coat?

    And dreamy blue eyes? (No biggie, my eyes are blue too.) Pitching w/ a red headed woman?

    I’m guessing yes, because there are no local references & the pledge part says “Pre-Recorded.”

  231. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 5:15

    “Si,r I could note storm the gun emplacement since my orders had numbers and letters in it, Sir”

    ‘Whisky Tango Foxtrot’? It grieves me to correct you, Major, but I must ask you to repeat yourself, for those are not letters of the alphabet.

  232. Just Alison said,

    June 9, 2011 at 5:41

    “All the evidence that I see is that academics and intellectuals have messed up the world.”–Walter Williams, John M. Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University

    I must say I agree with Wally in one important respect, aside from that pointed out by bbkf above: economists have indeed buggered up the world right well. Think of all the misery caused by various stupid economic theories propounded by academics and intellectuals who thought their bloviating was theory and their total wankitude was science.

    Other than that, see those who’ve cited penicillin, plumbing, etc. above.

  233. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    June 9, 2011 at 6:11

    Eating a case of lightbulbs and corn makes….interesting…poop

    Reminds me of a joke.

    Class assignment: 2nd Grade class is to find a parents’ talent, and discuss the following day.

    Mary sez, “My dad is a really great piano player. He has his own band, and they play every weekend…. etc.”

    Very nice. Next!

    Timmy sez, “My mom is a long-distance marathon runner. She came in first place in the city’s 5K a few weeks ago… etc.”

    Very good. Next!

    Bobby sez, “My dad eats light bulbs.”

    Come again? You’ve seen him do this?

    “Well, not exactly, but Tuesday night, I got up from bed to get some water, and walking past Mom and Dad’s bedroom door, I clearly heard him say, ‘Turn out the light, babe — I’m gonna eat it.’”
    .

  234. Just Alison said,

    June 9, 2011 at 6:44

    If there’s a hell, I hope this guy is there chained to a telephone switchboard, dealing with assholes like himself, one after another, for eternity.

    No kidding – my mother, departed lo this past year, used to work on a switchboard, and had a very good line in snarky comeback with knobheads like this, or indeed anyone who pissed her off for whatever reason. It was one of the things I admired about her: that’s why it was particularly painful to watch her crumble under Alzheimer’s (see me tremble in incoherent rage and want to smash the face of Douthat against his keyboard until he’s got little letters on his cheeks).

  235. Raspar Capac said,

    June 9, 2011 at 7:53

    Palming the face.

    A link over there leads you to the land of stupid. Super Idiot(s) Warning. The elitist in me would like that these guys do not have the right to vote (or to teach, or to own a business of any kind, or… actually do anything than doing menial operative tasks under careful supervision.)

  236. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 7:54

    By contrast, zero is defined as a number that when added or subtracted from another number does not change the value of that number.

    I admit to being curious as to how an actual mathematician would judge that rather limited definition of zero. A particularly pedantic one might be able to leave an appropriate comment on WW’s post.

    Not to mention that one could question the assertion that it’s a zero in the first place. Zero belongs between 1 and -1. The character in question is situated after the 9. This makes it more likely to represent the number ten, and the digit zero as an indicator of positional notation, rather than the number zero. This is further borne out by the fact that, on an old pulse-dial phone, dialing said final digit created a string of ten pulses, rather than an absence of them.

    Q.E.motherfuckin’D.

  237. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:08

    Raspar Capac said,

    June 9, 2011 at 7:53 (kill)

    Palming the face.

    A link over there leads you to the land of stupid. Super Idiot(s) Warning. The elitist in me would like that these guys do not have the right to vote (or to teach, or to own a business of any kind, or… actually do anything than doing menial operative tasks under careful supervision.)

    Landover Baptist is well-known Poe site, like the Onion. It’s such a persuasive one that quite a few fundies have lifted arguments from it. Hilarity ensues.

  238. Raspar Capac said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:09

    OK, Landoverbaptist is a parody site. Wondering whether some the participants aren’t genuine, though.

  239. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:16

    RC,

    I love Landover Baptist.

    Some of the finest trolls on the planet.

    Though I have a soft spot for Christwire, as they actually had Our Lady of the Apostrophe, Marie Jon’ writing a column or two for them before she figured it out.

  240. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:21

    Wurp. Refresh before post, and such as.

    Wondering whether some the participants aren’t genuine, though.

    I think they live to troll the earnest but humorless. The forum is hilarious.

    María Gálvez-Villalobos
    Claims not to be a dago slut
    Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised

    might be a tipoff.

    YIC

  241. owlbear1 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:28

    Yeah, I guess I should have been suspicious of the proper usage of scientific notation and accurate math.

    But since it’s perfectly legitimate to make shit up and a call it the truth I have faith that a ‘real’ creationist created it and all creationists agree with the logic.

    I can do this because an invisible super monkey gave me permission.

  242. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 8:50

    Pharyngula covered the chart in question earlier.

  243. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 14:45

    I’m pretty sure the trolls at Landover Baptist could buy an auditorium, throw a steeple on top and do their schtick live, and still fill the pews with suckers that don’t get the joke.

  244. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 14:53

    Eight six seven five three ought nine.

    re: Corn Ethanol

    It does make good whiskey.

    Corn ethanol has a positive energy balance on life-cycle analysis. Yes, teh current subsidies are primarily pandering to Midwest farmers, but teh development of an ethanol fuel industry isn’t automatically bad. Plus as moar renewables enter grid production, teh impact of making ethanol fuel goes down.

    Utility scale ethanol is a still relatively new technology outside of Brazil. Should we be making ethanol fuels out of something other than corn? Probably, but you gotta start somewhere. And as ethanol becomes a bigger part of the energy picture – increased uptake by auto manufacturers and consumers plus a wider distribution system for E blends higher than 10% – we’ll see moar benefits.

    Would I prefer money go into developing bettoar storage for electric cars? Sure, but that’s a tough sell considering teh love of internal combustion. And getting a distribution network for fast charging is hella harder than using existing pumps for high E-gas mixes.

  245. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 15:45

    D-K W – hate to disagree with you on any topic other than your mom, but corn ethanol is a complete and utter boondoggle. There’s no net energy gain in it and worse yet, it encourages over-production of corn…by which I mean the subsidies behind it encourage the growing of corn in regions where it oughtn’t be grown (e.g. Nebraska) due to the crop’s high water demands…leading to depletion of underground aquifers in places where it doesn’t really make sense to grow corn.

    There are lots of weeds that thrive in arid conditions, requiring little or no irrigation, which would produce more bio-fuel per acre than corn does. Of course, these weeds generally don’t require massive applications of fertilizers and chemical pesticides and herbicides, so it’s got that working against it too. Monsanto will never support it.

  246. Mark D said,

    June 9, 2011 at 15:57

    Jennifer nails it* once again — corn ethanol is a joke, and not really that much better than oil in terms of environmental impact/energy efficiency in the creation of it.

    One thing Dubya actually got right was mentioning switchgrass as a possible alternative, though, from what I’ve read, it’s not really perfect, either. Just better than corn. The true great option is sugarcane (ala Brazil) but we just don’t have the capacity in the USofA to grow enough to make it worth our while.

    So … in the meantime, it’d be nice if someone would develop an electric car that has a 300+ mile range, can fully charge in about 15 minutes or so, and is cost competitive. A few solar cells on a house used to charge it, stations that do the same, etc., and we don’t even have to worry about any of the above.

    But that would make way, way too much sense and actually be a fantastic thing. Thus, it’ll never happen.

    (*VcoitusR)

  247. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:02

    We’re not really in disagreement*. Corn is a horrible feedstock for producing ethanol fuel and I am fully supportive of moving to just about anything else. My support is for biofuels. Because they are easy to integrate into existing transport tech. And yes I agree that (especially in jurisdictions with high renewable energy generation and little or no reliance on coal) electric vehicles are way bettar – but much further away on both technology and social acceptance.

    Teh point I’m trying to make is that, yes corn ethanol is pretty darned crappy in terms of environmental effects – but massive scale ethanol fuel production is new and capital intensive and requires widespread industry uptake. That’s not going to happen without some group of very influential backers. Hence corn. Basically, I see corn ethanol as the gateway towards making fuels out of agricultural and/or wood product residues or possibly even materials that would otherwise go to landfill or those weeds you’re talking about but still need a bit moar research to develop.

    As to teh land use effects of corn ethanol, that too will be reduced as different feedstocks become economically viable – but even teh bad decisions around where to grow corn worry me less than the decisions being made about where to Drill Baby Drill.

    *Except about net energy gain. Apparently there are many ways of calculating this under life-cycle analysis and all sorts of assumptions that change teh values. Nonetheless, even with a negative energy balance, there is still value in development of biofuel technology/industry.

  248. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:09

    There’s no net energy gain in it

    Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Corn ethanol has not always been a net energy gain, but for more than a decade the net energy gain has hovered around, 1.34. For every BTU spent creating ethanol 1.34 BTU are available as fuel. Improvements in fuel efficiency, reduction of fertilizer use and improvements in the conversion process itself means that ethanol is a net energy source.
    My figures are from this 2002 report by the USDA:
    http://www.transportation.anl.gov/pdfs/AF/265.pdf

    There are plenty of reasons to hate ethanol, and corn ethanol in particular, but conversion efficiency is not one of them.

  249. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:10

    and I screwed up the blockqote tags.

  250. owlbear1 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:13

    Dear Secretary Vilsack:

    A team of senior plant and animal scientists have recently brought to my attention the discovery of an electron microscopic pathogen that appears to significantly impact the health of plants, animals, and probably human beings. Based on a review of the data, it is widespread, very serious, and is in much higher concentrations in Roundup Ready (RR) soybeans and corn-suggesting a link with the RR gene or more likely the presence of Roundup. This organism appears NEW to science!
    .
    .
    .
    COL (Ret.) Don M. Huber
    Emeritus Professor, Purdue University
    APS Coordinator, USDA National Plant Disease Recovery System (NPDRS)

    http://www.lavidalocavore.org/diary/4523/researcher-glyphosate-roundup-or-roundup-ready-crops-may-cause-animal-miscarriages

    via fdl.

    I wonder if this could also be the reason there have been so many dead beehives in the last few years.

    And for Wally, It’s almost always greed that makes smart people do stupid things.

    Unless it’s sex, but I’m sure that’s never been a problem for you has it Wally?

  251. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:14

    Helmut – when I said “no net energy gain”, I was referring to the crappy net gain you cite…which does not take into account the depletion of aquifers & etc but considers only how much energy you get out corn-based ethanol vs. energy put into producing it. 1.34 is laughable. Compare that to sugarcane or just about any other alternative to see how laughable – pretty much everything else generates double the amount of energy output vs. energy input as corn does.

  252. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:15

    Goddamn you, WP, you syphlitic whore.

  253. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:16

    Here’s an example of what I mean – suppose someone develops a magical cellulosic ethanol process. Maybe a new enzyme or bacteria. Anyways, I’m suggesting a process that would allow you to use W’s switchgrass or corn stover or sawdust or remaindered copies of Liberal Fascism to make fuel at half the current cost of lignocellulose digestion. Or less.

    Then what? Like the US would have gotten to E10 without corn ethanol subsidies. Without shovelling massive taxpayer monies at Industrial Farmers, you’re stuck with all this high grade and cheap to make ethanol and nothing to do with it other than facilitating Girls Gone Wild videos. Without pandering to areas with low population and high Senate represention, there is no way to get your ethanol into gas tanks.

  254. Thread Bear said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:17

    If it wurnt for them durn gubmint regulators breaking up the phone company, Wally’s conversation with the operator could have gone more like this.

  255. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:19

    Of course the other solution is to make your mom moar mobile. Because everybody rides her.

  256. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:19

    nothing to do with it other than facilitating Girls Gone Wild videos

    So, just so we are on the same page here, what’s the downside?

  257. apples and oranges™³²®© said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:23

    The thing about corn is it is the most fertilizer-intensive of our major crops.

    And in the U.S. fertilizer-intensive means using natural gas.
    ~

  258. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:26

    So, just so we are on the same page here, what’s the downside?

    I’m a big fan of slutty behaviour and young women removing their clothing, but GGW is too exploitative and skeezy for my tastes. Moms Gone Wild, on the other hand,,, uh,,, brb.

  259. smedley said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:31

    “Moms Gone Wild, on the other hand,,, uh,,, brb.”

    Are you familiar with Lisa Ann?

  260. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:31

    Helmut – I typed up a cogent response, but WP eated it, so check this out.

    The print article featured an energy-input vs output graphic which unfortunately is not available online, but I remember the gist of it quite well: every other biofuel alternative was at least twice as effecient as corn.

  261. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:41

    The print article featured an energy-input vs output graphic which unfortunately is not available online, but I remember the gist of it quite well: every other biofuel alternative was at least twice as effecient as corn.

    That is not the point which I am arguing. You said it was a net energy loss. This is not true.
    I hate ethanol, in particular corn based ethanol for a lot of reasons. Not because it is a net energy loss.

  262. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:42

    Jennifer,

    Small point – that article is from 2007. Corn ethanol has become slightly moar efficient since then, mostly as a result of teh maturation of HFCS production and moar efficient milling for starch. Although you’re probably still right in that using any other feedstock is moar energy efficient. And I suppose the connection to HFCS prbably makes corn ethanol even less attractive.

  263. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 16:47

    Helmut – well, it is a net energy loss if producing it renders land upon which other crops could be grown hundreds or thousands of years into the future an arid wasteland due to depletion of underground water. As I said so eloquently in my other response eated by WP, 1.37 is a shit ratio for energy gain when all the factors are taken into consideration.

  264. Mark D said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:07

    Thanks for the info, Helmut. Haven’t really dug into the issue in several years, so good to see they’re getting better at the conversion.

    Just wish they’d find a better way to do it.

    I’d give DK-W some props as well, but I’m too busy fucking his mom. Maybe later …

  265. Mark D said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:09

    Oh, one other reason to hate corn ethanol:

    FOOD CRISIS

    All of that corn would be much, much better used to help feed folks. But that’s just the NSHO of a dirtyfuckingbleedingheartliberaltreehugger, so WTF do I know?

  266. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:16

    Hogeye: there are various ways to define the zero. Among the most useful would be Peano’s from the field of mathematics logic. It’s been many years since so I could well be wrong; as I recall zero is the symbol which has no predecessor. 1 is the successor zero, 2 is the sucessor of 1 and so on.

    The salient point is that 0 the number is a symbol, nothing more. Like infinity, it is a tough concept to work with but as a symbol it just works.

  267. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:22

    Zero, my hero.

  268. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:23

    By the way, WW’s attempted definition seems to come from group theory but as I noted way above it’s a FAIL. I won’t go into the details here (using an iPhone. Argh) but trust me, that AINT the definition.

  269. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:27

    Also too, I rarely consider myself a mathematician though I did get a bachelors in math.

  270. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:29

    re: FOOD CRISIS.

    Teh gut reaction says that teh moar corn you use for fuel, teh less you can eat. Maize is a fairly fungible commodity* and increased demand is going to lead to increased prices. As a feedstock that’ll eventually translate to increased meat prices. Also too, HFCS – teh new staple calorie provider for millions. All good reasons to look at corn ethanol and assume that it’ll make teh poor starve.

    But it’s not quite as simple as that. Society makes moar than enough food for everyone already – teh problem is distribution. I don’t understand that problem well enough to know for sure that higher corn prices will lead to moar hunger. Maybe ethanol fuel might lead to lower overall food costs, but then again probably not. That large industries will fuck you over is usually a good bet.

    * Not a veiled huitlacoche reference

  271. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:31

    Note: teh fungibility of a bushel of corn has nothing to do with my point. I just wanted to make a cheap “not a huitlacoche reference” joke.

  272. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:36

    0 to the power of ten.

  273. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:36

    I take issue with D-KW vis a vis HFCS in that while it is indeed a source of calries it is completely devoid of nutrition and therefor should not be considered as part of “feeding” people. In short, it’s not food in spite of being edible.

    Yeah, a VER, why not.

  274. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:37

    Dammit!! That link should’ve started at the 2:16 mark.

  275. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:44

    And it would have if you had put 2m16s. I am unaware of a commonly used unit of time for which the abbreviation is ‘a’.

  276. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:45

    Sorry, once I get started pointing out other people’s FAILures I just get in the mood, y’know?

  277. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:46

    Also

    Today marks one calendar month, (32nd day) of not smoking cigarettes.

    I fucking RULE.

    Recognize.

  278. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    June 9, 2011 at 17:53

    And it would have if you had put 2m16s. I am unaware of a commonly used unit of time for which the abbreviation is ‘a’.

    You’ve never heard of an “anosecond”? Seesh! What universe are YOU from?

    Actually, I realized my mistake immediately after I posted. It was a simple typo. If someone would just make a keyboard with all the letters about three inches apart, I’d be fine.

  279. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:03

    I am unaware of a commonly used unit of time for which the abbreviation is ‘a’

    Turnabout is fairplay, and I am quite surprised that I’d have to point this out to you of all people.

  280. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:03

    Although that would be a hella long YouTube clip.

  281. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:06

    In honor of the great Les Paul

    Note that you can record yourself strumming and play it back. The note setup is pretty stupid, but if you mess with it you can probably come up with something cool.

    You’re welcome.

  282. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:07

    Actually, I realized my mistake immediately after I posted. It was a simple typo. If someone would just make a keyboard with all the letters about three inches apart, I’d be fine.

    This is a Serious website! Get it right, damnit!

  283. rodertudis said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:11

    Today marks one calendar month, (32nd day) of not smoking cigarettes.

    Good for you tsam. You do fucking rule. That’s the lesson.

  284. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:11

    tsam said,
    I fucking RULE.

    Congrats! Here, have a beer.

  285. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:22

    Congrats! Here, have a beer.

    OOOOH…man that looks good right now. Even at 10:00 am.

  286. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:23

    And from now on I will shut the fuck up about kicking this habit.

    And hope that Jennifer and bbkf are still on wagon…

  287. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:23

    And start all my sentences with “and” so that all you grammar pedants will feel like you’re sitting on a pile of thumbtacks.

  288. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:30

    D-KW you little prick!* I said “commonly used” so bite me.

    *OvertD-KWR

  289. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:31

    All of that corn would be much, much better used to help feed folks.

    Have you seen the film King Corn? They take a bite of the corn they’ve grown, and it’s awful, pretty much inedible. It’s also nutritionally poor, and people who eat a lot of non-lye treated dent corn products are at high risk for pellagra.

  290. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:34

    re: Google, Les Paul
    ABC has this headline

    Guitar Chords: Google Logo is Guitar Tuner in Honor of Les Paul

    I ain’t no Jeff Clapton, but it seems to me that this: Guitar Tuner
    is incorrect
    http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/guitar-chords-google-logo-playable-doodle-honor-les/story?id=13801136

  291. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:35

    I said “commonly used”,,,

    Apologies, I assumed we were talking about your mom’s annus.

  292. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:39

    PENIS.

  293. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:41

    OMG. Intoornatzes, D-KW am disappoint.

    Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever had any penis with your tequila,,,

    Showing 0 comments

  294. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:43

    In honor of the great Les Paul

    Sweet, but no overdubbing, which was his huge contribution to recording.

    Also, too. congrats on a month smoke free, tsam.

  295. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:47

    We’re not really in disagreement*. Corn is a horrible feedstock for producing ethanol fuel and I am fully supportive of moving to just about anything else. My support is for biofuels

    Resisting urge to write fifty page screed on how algae will save humanity…

  296. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:51

    Yo DKW – you just didn’t give me enough time. Fekkin iPhone…*

    *ominous-type ellipsis

  297. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 18:59

    Much as I like the guitars named after him I always found his recorded work absolutely intolerable, especially the fecking tape loops. White bread with the crusts cut off. Daisy chains and Lawrence Welk worthy schmaltz.

    Still you’ve got to give a guy credit who had his left arm fused at a 90 degree angle after a car crash (still in his 20′s I think, can’t be arsed, etc.) so he could play the guitar into his 90′s. Feller played a lot of gigs. And, yes, I did see him play.

  298. N__B said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:01

    I’m working on a patent to use popcorn for power. The methane liberated from the average human asshole in a multiplex could drive Palin’s bus off a road into a bus-sized cliff-o-tine.

  299. Bitter Scribe said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:02

    …that’s why it was particularly painful to watch her crumble under Alzheimer’s (see me tremble in incoherent rage and want to smash the face of Douthat against his keyboard until he’s got little letters on his cheeks).

    Alison, I’ll probably regret asking this, but since my (recently passed) mother also was stricken by Alzheimer’s, I have to: What did Douchehat say about Alzheimer’s? Or were you simply referring to his opposition to health care reform?

  300. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:05

    Fekkin iPhone…

    My faith in teh IntarPENIS has been restored! All hail teh interconnected series of pr0n!

  301. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:08

    The methane liberated from the average human asshole in a multiplex could drive Palin’s bus off a road into a bus-sized cliff-o-tine.

    Imma gonna have to take your word on that, not having been in a movie theatre since 1988. Once, however, I played a gig at a pig roast in New England where they had the most enormous pot of delicious bean-hole beans AND great cole slaw and there was a time in the performance where the entire band and much of the audience all farted at once. Play enough gigs and you’ll see (and smell) things you never would have expected.

  302. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:12

    “Still you’ve got to give a guy credit who had his left arm fused at a 90 degree angle after a car crash (still in his 20?s”

    Yup. I do like his work though but then I’m a music philistine. And how about a two fingered gypsy guitarist who invented a completely new – and hugely influential – style?

  303. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:16

    And how about a two fingered gypsy guitarist who invented a completely new – and hugely influential – style?

    Hilter?

  304. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:16

    And how about a two fingered gypsy guitarist?

    Pretty hard to argue with that. He made good use of the opposable thumb.

  305. N__B said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:20

    I played a gig at a pig roast

    Far better than playing a pig at a Carson-style gig-roast,

  306. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:21

    Once, however, I played a gig at a pig roast in New England where they had the most enormous pot of delicious bean-hole beans AND great cole slaw and there was a time in the performance where the entire band and much of the audience all farted at once

    This didn’t send the planet spinning out of orbit?

    And how about a two fingered gypsy guitarist who invented a completely new – and hugely influential – style?

    It’s a pity that he was an abusive alcoholic who died in a sordid manner.

  307. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:31

    It’s a pity that he was an abusive alcoholic who died in a sordid manner.

    NOT a musician. Now this is a musician.

  308. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:35

    El M. calls a spade a spade.

  309. Hitler said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:36

    My dog has no nose.

  310. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:37

    Resisting urge to write fifty page screed on how algae will save humanity…

    Well, seeing as how it’ll be all we have left to work with before too long, not such a stretch.

    Okay, jellyfish too.

  311. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:38

    My dog has no nose.

    How does he smell?

  312. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:40

    UGH

  313. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:42

    How does he smell?

    He can’t smell you insensitive jerk. Hitler just told you he has no nose!

  314. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:48

    Guitar master

    Also, too.

  315. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:49

    How does he smell?

    Like a dog.

  316. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:51

    tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:40

    UGH

    It says “to keep reading, login or subscribe” — uh, no.

    I’m going to have to assume based on the title that it talks all about how “professors don’t teach anymore and all they do is research and uppity college professors are uppity and liberal, and then the unions and and and blargity blarggggle BLARG!”

    Close?

  317. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:52

    Okay, jellyfish too.

    I had a girlfriend that was wild for jellyfish, prepared in the Chinese style. I could take ‘em or leave ‘em though it is interesting food. And in Laos they make snack crackers out of pond scum, broadly, algae that are pretty good. Sheets of the scum (don’t even think about it) are dried in the sun and then toasted with sesame seeds and cut into crackers. Pretty good but it would get old if that was all there was.

  318. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:54

    From Pharyngula:

    The Profit of Creation, featuring music by Tim Rosser, with book and lyrics by Charlie Sohne, will be directed by Evan Yionoulis, and music directed by Chris Fenwick. The musical concerns a liberal scientist who takes a bribe from a right-wing organization to head up the “Creation Museum” in Kentucky.

    I knew it! Chris and Fenwick are all one guy!

  319. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:54

    Exactly. It was an Andy Rooney style rant about how you know, professors spend all their time writing gay articles and stuff.

    Paraphrasing the money shot:

    There were 21,000 articles written about Shakespeare. Couldn’t it have been 5,000?

  320. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:56

    How does he smell?

    He Sphinx.

    UGH

    A link at teh top provides more ugh.

    A Short History of Political Suicide

    From a decidedly slanted approach. The guy will dig for FDR’s Undersecretary of State’s attempt at a gay dalliance but seems to be unable to recall Larry Craig.

  321. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:58

    Btw, pro tip for tsam: you are a recovering smoker. You will always be a recovering smoker. NOT EVEN ONE, EVER.

    Also AHEM though I can’t be arsed to do the linky shit.

  322. Jennifer said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:59

    I’m 22 days smoke-free myownself, tanx for asking.

    Also, too: is Pupienus no longer Maximus?

  323. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 19:59

    Chris and Fenwick are all one guy!

    Enjoying an autologue about Yalta with musical accompaniment.

  324. Whale Chowder said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:05

    Recognize.

    U R WINNAR. Good job.

    Also:

    Resisting urge to write fifty page screed on how algae will save humanity…

    I’ve been waiting for algae farms to get some commercial traction but haven’t seen much in the last 5 years or so since the small-scale POC operations got going. What up with that?

  325. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:07

    is Pupienus no longer Maximus?

    Just coming to grips* with reality.

    *yeah.

  326. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:08

    I’ve been waiting for algae farms to get some commercial traction

    They’ve hit a snag. Tractors don’t float.

  327. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:11

    I’ve been waiting for algae farms to get some commercial traction but haven’t seen much in the last 5 years or so since the small-scale POC operations got going. What up with that?

    Algae could also be used in CO2 scrubbers- if a algae with a high fat content could be selectively bred or genetically engineered, it could be used for biofuel stock… DAMN, WC, YOU TRIGGERED ME!!!!

    Luckily, I have to get my ass to Brooklyn for “learning while intoxicated”.

  328. Whale Chowder said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:12

    Btw, pro tip for tsam: you are a recovering smoker. You will always be a recovering smoker. NOT EVEN ONE, EVER.

    Yup, great point. Friend of mine had quit for at least a year but last weekend on our motorcycle ride, as soon as we stopped he pulled out a smoke.

    I successfully resisted the urge to say something. Barely.

  329. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:14

    Pupienus just can’t be bothered to type his full nym after assuming a nym du comment especially when commenting from a fekking iPhone. YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!?!!

    Also, hope you are still on the wagon. If you fell off, don’t fret it, just dust yourself off and climb back aboard.

  330. Mark D said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:17

    A very good discussion about alternative fuels (I’ve learned quite a bit — thanks to all!), but we’re all missing one thing:

    None of it will ever happen. Ever. Not algae farms, not electric-only vehicles, none of it.

    Because of the oil lobby.

    Think about it: We’ve spent two straight years being told that government spending is the greatest threat in the history of all humanity, yet the same people claiming that REFUSED to eliminate subsidies to the industry.

    An industry that is hated by most Americans. An industry that makes tens of billions in profits per year. An industry that has caused more environmental disasters than any other in recorded human history (other than the war industry, but that’s different … somehow). An industry that simply doesn’t need the money.

    Yet Congress balked.

    So if anyone thinks our leaders will do jack shit to stop that gravy train, they’re nuts.

  331. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:20

    A very good discussion about alternative fuels (I’ve learned quite a bit — thanks to all!), but we’re all missing one thing:

    None of it will ever happen. Ever. Not algae farms, not electric-only vehicles, none of it.

    Because of the oil lobby.

    Think about it: We’ve spent two straight years being told that government spending is the greatest threat in the history of all humanity, yet the same people claiming that REFUSED to eliminate subsidies to the industry.

    Yeah, it’ll be a crash into a “Mad Max” style wasteland, rather than a transition to a sustainable future. At least when our children cannibalize us in our old age, we will have deserved it.

  332. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:22

    ,,,with a high fat content,,,

    I got it! algore farms!

  333. Whale Chowder said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:22

    we will have deserved it.

    CHEERY!

  334. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:29

    CHEERY!

    It feels like triple-digits here in the NY Metro Area.

    When I have a bad hair day, you know it’s bad.

  335. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:29

    Btw, pro tip for tsam: you are a recovering smoker. You will always be a recovering smoker. NOT EVEN ONE, EVER.

    Yup, great point. Friend of mine had quit for at least a year but last weekend on our motorcycle ride, as soon as we stopped he pulled out a smoke.

    I learned this hard lesson last time I “quit”.

    There’s a huge temptation to “have just one”, but so far I’ve managed to stay focused on the fact that just one means I have to start all over again. I can’t do that.

  336. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:35

    Goddamnit. Get ready for president Romney.

    Bookmark it, lizbz

  337. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:41

    There’s a huge temptation to “have just one”, but so far I’ve managed to stay focused on the fact that just one means I have to start all over again. I can’t do that.

    Just climb a couple of flights of stairs, and relish the feeling of being able to breathe… hang tough like the “New Kids”.

    Goddamnit. Get ready for president Romney.

    He’ll never survive the primary.

  338. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:43

    He’ll never survive the primary.

    This is what they kept saying about McCain–even after he had it nailed down.

  339. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:46

    He’s already focusing on that undereducated dumbass white males–the ones the media likes to call “independents”. In other words, instead of taking the suicidal route of pandering to the mouthbreathing, knuckledagging, America-hating teabaggers, he’s going after these moderate types, knowing they’re all mad at Obama over $4/gallon gas and unemployment that keeps hovering around 9%.

    If he can survive the primary, which does seem tenuous at best, this will be his election to lose.

  340. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:50

    Goddamnit. Get ready for president Romney.

    Bookmark it, lizbz

    I have a hard time believing the fundamentalist evangelical “christians” that make up the primary voters of the party would vote for a mormon. Especially one whose only claim to executive “fame” was passing “Romneycare” (aka “Obamacare, The Prequel”) in Mass.

    With unlimited corporate funding, who knows we can guess what’ll happen if the corporations get behind him though.

  341. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:53

    If he can survive the primary, which does seem tenuous at best, this will be his election to lose.

    I think his problem is that the people who typically vote in GOP primaries will be incensed at his “liberal” record, and will be swayed by hatred of Mormons. I have to say, though, that Romney is the emptiest of suits, so watching his immolation will be entertaining.

    It’s going to be a fun primary season.

  342. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:54

    OBS done stepped on my dick… think I’ll “tweet” some pictures of the bruising…

  343. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:55

    yet the same people claiming that REFUSED to eliminate subsidies to the industry.

    And the same people who demand means testing for other types of welfare never do for corporate welfare.

  344. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:57

    OBS done stepped on my dick… think I’ll “tweet” some pictures of the bruising…

    I’d rather see the evidence of your bad hair day. Unless they’d be the same pics because then, well, not my thing. So to speak.

  345. Hoosier X said,

    June 9, 2011 at 20:58

    Remember when the story was going around about how Mitt put the dog in a cage and strapped the cage to the roof of the car for a family trip? And 100 miles later, one of his little Mittlings noticed that the dog’s waste was running down the window?

    The best part of it was how the Mitt-worhippers were praising Mitt for the leadership he showed in pulling over and cleaning off the side of the car. Like, how could a regular, ordinary man ever figure that out? If it was you or me, we would have just panicked and driven off the side of the bridge into the unforgiving waters of the Susquehana River.

    (In Mitt’s defense, the regular, ordinary man would never have come up with the brilliant idea of strapping the dog to the roof. A less visionary man would have treated the dog like a living creature and either let it INSIDE the car or left it at home to be taken care of by friendly neighbors.)

    All of this man’s negatives shrivel up into irrelevance when compared to this incident. What a douche!!!

  346. Walter Williams in 1348 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:00

    Yes, there are some eggheads claiming that our killing of cats has increased deaths from The Plague slightly – but every good illiterate peasant knows in his heart that this ill fortune is just Satan’s way of TEMPTING us!

    Up until now we were only killing black cats, but now that Beelzebub has upped the ante, only a policy of total feline genocide will rid this scourge from our midst.

    STOP TEH BLACK DETH: KILL MOAR CATZ!

    Anyone who begs to differ is clearly in the pocket of Big Pussy.

  347. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:01

    The Romney dog-torture story.

  348. Walter Williams in 1777 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:04

    There’s no hurry in letting King George know about our recent spot of bad luck involving this silly little dust-up in the Colonies, eh wot? Probably a bunch of those dib-dib-dob-dob collegiate nancy-boys would just make everything worse with some damnable military expidition … silly tossers.

  349. gocart mozart said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:04

    “I think his problem is that the people who typically vote in GOP primaries will be incensed at his “liberal” record, and will be swayed by hatred of Mormons. I have to say, though, that Romney is the emptiest of suits, so watching his immolation will be entertaining.”

    True B4 but you can go down the list and conclude that all the candidates also can’t win and yet someone has to win. Its a paradox, inside a riddle wrapped in stupid.

  350. Hoosier X said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:06

    I’ll say this for Romney: He’s a lot more like Ronald Reagan than the Reagan-humpers will ever admit.

  351. Brigadier-General Walter Williams in 1914 said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:07

    We’ll all be home in time for tea, lads – & don’t let those gloomy-gus academics tell you any different!

    Tally Ho!

  352. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:15

    M. Bouffant said,
    June 9, 2011 at 4:48

    OK, P-Max, is “The Ho” sporting a striped shirt & sport coat?

    And dreamy blue eyes? (No biggie, my eyes are blue too.) Pitching w/ a red headed woman?

    I’m guessing yes, because there are no local references & the pledge part says “Pre-Recorded.”

  353. jim said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:17

    A right-winger singing the praises of being a goombah?
    My fainting-couch – I hope I can fall toward it!

  354. Walter Williams, Morale Officer SS Titanic said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:19

    This is a minor setback. We’ll all make it to New York just fine. The women, children, and effete academics can take the lifeboats. Who’s up for a refreshing swim?

  355. Chris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:26

    He’s already focusing on that undereducated dumbass white males–the ones the media likes to call “independents”. In other words, instead of taking the suicidal route of pandering to the mouthbreathing, knuckledagging, America-hating teabaggers, he’s going after these moderate types, knowing they’re all mad at Obama over $4/gallon gas and unemployment that keeps hovering around 9%.

    If he can survive the primary, which does seem tenuous at best, this will be his election to lose.

    Wasn’t that basically the McCain strategy?

  356. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:29

    I have a hard time believing the fundamentalist evangelical “christians” that make up the primary voters of the party would vote for a mormon. Especially one whose only claim to executive “fame” was passing “Romneycare” (aka “Obamacare, The Prequel”) in Mass.

    People keep saying that, but it seems to me like a smooth talking (and sincerely likable) baptist minister and former governor of a Southern state should have had the last primary in the bag if this were the case. I know the primaries draw out the psychos, but their influence is limited to their numbers in comparison to those who know that it’s really about winning the election, rather than purity.

  357. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:30

    Wasn’t that basically the McCain strategy?

    Yes, but by the simple expedient of not choosing a witless loudmouth for a VP, it is a strategy that could work.

  358. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:31

    OBS done stepped on my dick… think I’ll “tweet” some pictures of the bruising…

    Just post them at your website. Please.

  359. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:32

    Wasn’t that basically the McCain strategy?

    It was. McCain had “that one” beat until 1) he hired the dumbest bitch in teh werld to be his running mate, and 2) started acting like a confused old man when the economy was literally crumbling like one of those Vegas skyskrapers being knocked down with dynamite.

    If McCain’s staff wasn’t the worst campaign staff ever, he almost certainly would have won that thing.

  360. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:32

    Looks as if Newtie’s flunkies realized they were spinning their wheels.

    Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich’s campaign manager, senior strategists and key aides in early delegate-selection states all resigned on Thursday, a mass exodus that leaves his hopes of winning the Republican nomination in tatters.

  361. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:34

    Ah yes, good morning MB. I wuz waiting for you to haul your ass out of bed before responding. Yep. Funny thing is, when they previewed it a number of people commented on the choice of hosts, “two lesbians and a straight guy.” completely, utterly backwards.

  362. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:35

    They thought the producer was lesbian?

  363. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:37

    Geo-Humor: Hoquiam is funny, but not as funny as Sequim.

  364. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:38

    By the way, WW’s attempted definition seems to come from group theory but as I noted way above it’s a FAIL.

    Making it an incomplete definition. WW describes teh additive zero. For accuracy and true pedantry you also need to specify teh role of the multiplicative zero (that number which always produces itself when multiplied by any other number).
    Do not get me started on discrete ring theory.

  365. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:39

    First line there was quoting Pupienus.

  366. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:40

    Geo-Humor: Hoquiam is funny, but not as funny as Sequim.

    Neither can top Walla Walla.

    Too fucking cool for just one Walla.

  367. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:42

    Sequim

    Also, this is pronounced “skwim” ’round these parts.

  368. N__B said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:43

    In the beginning, there was Pupienus quoting.

    And Smut said “Let there be wodcuts!”

  369. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:43

    Smut: Don’t make me go all Diagonal Proof on your ass.

  370. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:44

    The place so nice they named it twice.

    It was called W-Two-Time when I was attending the local JC White-Man College.

  371. Mark D said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:44

    If he can survive the primary, which does seem tenuous at best, this will be his election to lose.

    That would be true if it weren’t for the magic underwear cult thing that a lot of folks apparently don’t like.

    Quite frankly, unless Obama gets caught with a dead girl, a live boy, or a full-blown Depression (well, okay, one that is officially recognized and actually covered as such by the media), there isn’t a GOPer currently running who can either make through a primary, or beat Obama in the general.

    (Of course, me posting this just assured a Romney/Bachmann win in 2012, didn’t it … ?)

  372. Chris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:46

    It was. McCain had “that one” beat until 1) he hired the dumbest bitch in teh werld to be his running mate, and 2) started acting like a confused old man when the economy was literally crumbling like one of those Vegas skyskrapers being knocked down with dynamite.

    I can easily see Romney making the “dumbest bitch” mistake again. With all his credibility problems with the base, I think he’ll want to appease them by picking a complete psycho for VP. Maybe Cain, maybe Bachmann.

    Heck, the Gooper base is still convinced that Palin is the reason McCain did so well.

  373. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:46

    That just made me think: How about asking every presidential candidate where they stand on the Axiom of Choice?

  374. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:47

    Smut: Don’t make me go all Diagonal Proof on your ass.

    Back when I was doing quantum field theory, my speciality was Degenerate Perturbation Analysis. Not just a mathematical method but a whole way of life!

  375. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:49

    How about asking every presidential candidate where they stand on the Axiom of Choice?

    My opponent has not been consistent in his support for the Continuum Hypothesis.

  376. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:52

    That Newticle’s campaign is crashing and burning so early disappoints me. Much comedy will be averted.

    Also, too, favorite WA town name: Twisp

  377. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:52

    “Aleph-one equals c, bitches! Suck it up!”

    —Candidate losing the election in a truly colorful manner.

  378. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:54

    Do not get me started on discrete ring theory..

    Hey, no problem. Be just like I was back in college, fire up a Galois and enjoy the lecture.

  379. Hogeye Grex said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:55

    Neither can top Walla Walla.

    Then there’s Ho-Ho-Kus.

  380. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:57

    La Push always sounded like the contents of one of Karnak the Magnificent’s envelopes: “What do they say in a French Lamaze class?”

  381. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:57

    Please do not perturb the degenerates. It never ends well.

  382. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 21:59

    Then there’s Ho-Ho-Kus.

    “I’m not driving out to frickin’ Hohokus! Some of that’s still Indian Country!”

    —Ray Barone

  383. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:00

    Go VRBK! Get all Gödel on his ass. Not that it makes a Hilbert full of beans. Unless there’s a problem such that you Kantor something.

  384. Smut Clyde said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:00

    Be just like I was back in college, fire up a Galois, Lie back and enjoy the lecture.

    Ficksled.

  385. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:02

    Quite frankly, unless Obama gets caught with a dead girl, a live boy, or a full-blown Depression (well, okay, one that is officially recognized and actually covered as such by the media), there isn’t a GOPer currently running who can either make through a primary, or beat Obama in the general.

    Maybe I’m seeing more Obama hate than there really is. It doesn’t help that I live in Western Idaho with a bunch of dumbfuck hillbillies that come close to being comparable with the Southern hillbillies.

  386. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:02

    Idiotville Oregon REPRESENT!

  387. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:04

    Lie back and enjoy the lecture

    BOOle! BOOle!

  388. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:05

    I just felt I had to respond Dirichlet.

  389. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:06

    I can easily see Romney making the “dumbest bitch” mistake again. With all his credibility problems with the base, I think he’ll want to appease them by picking a complete psycho for VP. Maybe Cain, maybe Bachmann.

    No fucking way. I’ve always been tempted to say that McCain’s people sabotaged him.

    You don’t throw red meat to the base with a running mate. What are they going to do if you pick another “centrist”? Vote for a Democrat? No way in hell. Especially when there’s a fair amount of energetic dissatisfaction with the incumbent, which I believe is the case at the moment.

  390. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:07

    All Fourier enjoyment.

  391. tsam said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:07

    Idiotville Oregon REPRESENT!

    The southern half of Western Idaho.

  392. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:08

    It’s not hard to Taylor a series of puns for this read.

  393. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:08

    Why the Frege do I feel so Zermelo today?

  394. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:10

    No need to say it, I’m a regular Cardano.

  395. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:12

    I’m really glad they carved off Idaho (and that corner of Montana Idaho lost when the surveying party lost their way in the snowstorm) before they turned Washington Territory into a state. Now if only Richard A. C. Greene had gotten his way and we’d called out the National Guard to force Idaho to take Eastern Washington!

  396. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:15

    Why the Frege do I feel so Zermelo today?

    Sorry you don’t feel Abel. Maybe you can Russell up some Poisson.

  397. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:16

    Oops – inadvertent change in de Fermat there.

  398. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:17

    But that’s a whole Noether story.

  399. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:19

    I CAN’T STOP MYSELF. Or should that be I can’t stop I? Perhaps the good professor would engage me in conversation to explain.

  400. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:21

    Church-Turing is such a Cauchy job….

  401. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:21

    I take the silence as objection to my Cavalierli attitude.

  402. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:22

    I’m Hooked, that’s all.

  403. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:24

    It’s a fine way to Clairaut a room, innit?

  404. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:24

    A Legendre in my own mind.

  405. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:25

    I get all Trembley doing this.

  406. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:27

    Ruh roh. May have to consult the interPENISes, I can’t recall any more off the top of my head. I’ve run up against a Wallis.

  407. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:30

    Let me Sherk my responses, Wiles I’m so inKleined.

  408. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:41

    Maybe I’m seeing more Obama hate than there really is. It doesn’t help that I live in Western Idaho with a bunch of dumbfuck hillbillies that come close to being comparable with the Southern hillbillies.

    I dunno, the parts of Idaho I’ve been to scared me way worse than the parts of the South I’ve been to. Obviously anecdotal, but the Idahoan hillbillies seem just one twig-snap away from full-auto carnage, constantly. The Southerners seem considerably mellower and moar insouciant in their craziness. Like yeah, they’re pissed, but they’re gonna have some BBQ and a big drink before they get to the hangin’.

    OBS done stepped on my dick… think I’ll “tweet” some pictures of the bruising…

    Heh, great minds and all that. I found it quite funny how close both of those were though — I may need to start calling myself “Bantam Bad Bald Bastard”

    Food pron: After stepping on BBBB’s dick, I went for a leisurely bicycle ride around town, then stopped by the local Hawaiian cafe for a big ol’ plate lunch of sweet shoyu chicken, rice, and macaroni “salad” (macaroni, mayo, and pepper). I told myself I’d only eat half and save the rest for tomorrow, but it was so damn good, I couldn’t resist finishing it all. And there’s a Deschutes brewery tasting across the street in less than an hour. It’s a good day.

  409. Steerpike said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:41

    I can’t keep up with these mathematical puns. I’m going to leibniz until someoen comes up with a Newton

  410. M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:57

    Funny.

  411. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:01

    Deschutes has maintained excellent quality from the beginning, it’s good to see them prosper.

    Just put a clafouti in the oven with the first of the season sour cherries. My wife is in Europe but I’ll have a taste of Provence.

  412. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:06

    M. Bouffant said,

    June 9, 2011 at 22:57

    Funny.

    Indeed. But now I wanna know what happens with teh Holy Table of Antioch!

  413. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:12

    “whipping the clafouti” sounds like something DSK could, er, get behind.

    Fouetter la clafouti.

  414. rodertudis said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:13

    “Just climb a couple of flights of stairs, and relish the feeling of being able to breathe…”

    That really does do it too, because one half your brain knows a thousand ways to tell the other half to “go ahead, you ain’t gonna live that long anyway” or “you can start doing two loads a day to get the smell out of your clothes.”

    But there is no way to fool the lungs. They know what’s up, and when you get the urge, which is just about every five minutes, at first at least, run up the stairs, or around the block, at full speed, then it will be your lungs telling your brain to kiss off.

    I have to admit too that I am a hardcore nicotine addict, since I was like ten or twelve years old. I dint start tobacco with cigarettes though, I started with Bull ‘O the Woods, or Cannon Ball, or Beechnut or whatever was handy. And I didn’t do this voluntarily either: when we were kids we had to fish the big rivers, the Flint, the Chattahoochee and the Apalachicola, setting trot lines for giant cats to sell to the fish fry houses. This was mostly night work and it was hard for us young sports to stay awake, so our daddies would shove a piece of chewing tobacco in our gums to make sure we didn’t fall asleep and off the boat.

    I graduated from chewing to smoking. I bet I’ve spent a retirement on fags. But finally, after a visit to a doctor who showed me a picture of my lungs, I quit. Cigarettes that is. Now I smoke cigars, four or five a day. Hell, that’s one of the reasons why I live where I do: the cigar I smoke most often, a 52 x 7.25 Briones, costs ten dollars in the U.S. Here it costs me a dollar. If you let it, nicotine will run your life. So I’m behind you on this quitting smoking thing. Don’t be like me.

  415. tigris said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:22

    Please do not perturb the degenerates. It never ends well.

    Strained and unpleasant?

  416. Pupienus said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:34

    Hmmmm, haven’t made a clafoutis since last fall, when the pears were so nice. The cherries here are three to four weeks late, due to ALGOREISFAT.

    Last night I made panko breaded, fried shrimp in a lovely lemon beurre blanc. Served with spaghetti w/pesto. Garden salad and garlic bread. Yummy.

    It’s so nice weather wise today. Tequila-lime grilled chix breasts. Marinated in lime juice, tequila, ancho chile powder, sliced jalapeños, bit of orange juice, garlic…whatever feels right at e moment. My not-Spanish Spanish rice (I just make some damn rice pilaf thing, it’s different every time). Fry a few slices bacon. Put some baby cress on a plate under an artfully sliced avocado half. Drizzle with finest olive oyl and lemon juice, salt and pepper. Lay bacon slices gracefully aslant avocado. Enjoy the fuck out of it.

  417. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:41

    My not-Spanish Spanish rice

    Am I a heathen for making Chinese fried rice Spanish-style, i.e. sauteeing the rice first and then steaming it? If I do it the other way around I never get anything but a gluey mess.

  418. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:45

    Am I a heathen for making Chinese fried rice Spanish-style, i.e. sauteeing the rice first and then steaming it? If I do it the other way around I never get anything but a gluey mess.

    Well, I’m a heathen and I do it that way, so yes.

  419. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:48

    Enjoy the fuck out of it.

    That does sound fucking enjoyable! If I’m sober enough to not light myself on fire, I’m gonna grill something or other but not all fancy like. Perhaps salmon burgers. Oh, must remember to get charcoal on the way home…

  420. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:56

    Also too, I rarely consider myself a mathematician though I did get a bachelors in math.

    I got 2 degrees in architecture. In Architecture, zero is defined as “Architect’s Fees”.

  421. El Manquécito said,

    June 9, 2011 at 23:57

    Because la Señora Manqué is away I had a classic NYC beefsteak last night, just as described in the original New Yorker article. For a true beefsteak No Girlz Allowed. The perfect accompaniment to watching the Sox cream the Yankees. Our summer beach house has a TV and I’ve been dipping my toe in the waters: gnarly.

    The best way to make fried rice is to have lots of leftover cooked cold rice. Fresh cooked rice does not fry well. If you sauté raw rice and then steam it you’re making more like a paella or risotto but, hey, you’re an American you can do any damn thing you want.

  422. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:00

    “I challenge anyone to show me a major calamity that was engineered by a stupid, inarticulate person…”

    Really? REALLY?

    “Heckuva job Brownie” ring a bell?

  423. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:08

    If you sauté raw rice and then steam it you’re making more like a paella or risotto

    That’s why I like Niko-Niko—the cheapest kind—the yellow-bag stuff is supposed to be better, I guess (it costs more, anyway) but I don’t like it as well.

    The thing about calrose is it’s medium-grain—not as sticky as short-grain and not dry and chewy like long-grain. Just enough starch leaks out to make a nice sauce—like a lazy-man’s risotto.

    And yes, I know I’m a barbarian for not liking either totally separate grains, American style, or totally fused into a solid rubbery lump, Asian rice-cooker style. Flame away!

  424. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:17

    And yes, I know I’m a barbarian for not liking either totally separate grains, American style, or totally fused into a solid rubbery lump, Asian rice-cooker style. Flame away!

    Why would anyone flame you for that? Why would anyone flame anyone for that shit? If you like it, you like it. Who gives a shit if some snotty fucking foodie says you’re not supposed to like it?

  425. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:23

    Make long grain white rice – NOT the sticky variety. Put it in the fridge (preferably in a container but hey, heathens can do what they want to do). Remove from the fridge next day about an hour before you fry it up. Pour some oil into your HOT wok or frying pan. Dump in a coup,e eggs beaten with a dash of toasted sesame oil. Remove the scrambled yeggs. Toss yer veg into the pan – diced carrot, scallions and peas are de rigeur for me – and cooked, chopped meat iffen yer usin it. Add rice and stir stir stir. Season with five spice powder, and add the yeggs back in, chopping them up with your spatula. Oh, almost forgot – put some soy sauce in there somewhere along the line.

  426. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:25

    AHEM.

    I’ve just picked a fight. SOMEBODY please feed it.

  427. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:29

    I like Pizza Hut pizza. I also enjoy Hot Pockets, although the aftermath can be less than pleasant…

    What about Rice-a-Roni?

  428. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:29

    Tsam: You’d be surprised about how sanctimonious some people can get on the subject of food—but the real sin is admitting you like something cheaper better than something more expensive. That really puts some of them into a lather. I was kidding, anyway—I didn’t think anybody here was going to give me any crap.

  429. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:31

    And I used “lather”and “crap” in the same paragraph—veiled santorum reference?

  430. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:31

    Put it in the fridge (preferably in a container but hey, heathens can do what they want to do).

    If you just toss it on the shelf, doesn’t it get harder to pick out all the grains?

  431. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:31

    What about Rice-a-Roni?

    Minute rice for me!

  432. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:31

    Fine. El M. Beat me to it. (beating the Pupienus?) I made frilled steak the other day as well. For meatless Monday, marinated a Flintstones type strip steak (bone-in, I mean please!) in garlic, rosemary, some other stuff I don’t remember. Grilled to Pittsburgh perfection. Grilled spargles, I hope spring never ends. “Bistro fries” – French fried potatoes tossed with minced garlic, butter and parsley. Heart attack at eleven.

  433. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:33

    Grilled spargles

    I’m sure you’ll have a snappy comeback, but that sounds like something you’d feed My Little Pony

  434. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:34

    Aaaaand multiple Santorum references within moments.

  435. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:34

    What about Rice-a-Roni?

    I get cut vermicelli—weird stuff, the label’s in Farsi—and make my own Rice-a-Roni, with my own stock. Speaking of which, I’m off to the kitchen to do just that.

  436. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:35

    Your pony ain’t that little, from what I’ve heard. And besides, we’ve had all the Santorum references we can handle just now.

  437. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:36

    “Spargles”==Sparrow-grass?

  438. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:39

    You’d be surprised about how sanctimonious some people can get on the subject of food—but the real sin is admitting you like something cheaper better than something more expensive. That really puts some of them into a lather

    It’s not surprising to me. I don’t know why people get like that. I used to have a boss who liked to make snide comments because I drank a LOT of R&R whiskey with coke. He was just flabergasted that one of his underlings would ever drink a whiskey that needs cola to be tolerable.

    This guy fancied himself some sort of expert on martinis, and routinely bored me to violence with stories about the delightful martinis he discovered over the weekend. He swears he’s not gay, but I don’t know. Anyway, despite all this talk about martinis, he insisted that people who drink Jack Daniels do so for the “catchet”. I didn’t realize that raggedy ass disgusting sour mash vomit had a chachet, but really? You drink martinis and you’re criticizing Jack drinkers for buying into a catchet?

  439. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:40

    http://www.noob.us/humor/you-will-never-guess-what-this-ad-is-about/

    *I* liked it.

  440. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:40

    I get cut vermicelli—weird stuff, the label’s in Farsi

    **calling DHS**

  441. El Manquécito said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:41

    I’ve just picked a fight. SOMEBODY please feed it.

    You’re on your own here buddy.

  442. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:41

    Spargle, iDeutsch for “asparagus”

  443. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:43

    HA! That link was awesome, PM.

  444. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:43

    We never have any Battles Royale here.

    Hmmph!

  445. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:44

    http://www.noob.us/humor/you-will-never-guess-what-this-ad-is-about/

    That *was* good

  446. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:47

    One of my favorite responses to queries whether it’s gin or vodka in those martini glasses we have with us while walking the dog (we’ve met many friends through being “the guys who walk their dog with their martinis) is “How do you make a martini with vodka?” Said with an exaggerated look of dumbfoundedness. A martini is made with gin. Period. If you want to make a martini style drink with vodka you go ahead but it’s not a martini, it’s a vodka martini. Period. All those other “martini style” drinks? For poseurs, philistines and metrosexuals.

  447. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:48

    Try picking your nose, tsam, see if anyone feeds it.

  448. VS said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:52

    Confession time: I like Rice a Roni. You may now pelt me with tomatoes….which I will eat, because I love tomatoes.

  449. Smut Clyde said,

    June 10, 2011 at 0:55

    Thread needs moar Spargel schnapps.

  450. Smut Clyde said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:00

    *ominous-type ellipsis
    Elliptical Function joke goes here.

  451. Looch said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:10

    Ha ha!

    Gingrich’s election campaign team resigns en masse

    Moar here:

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5h981Ic70-zXvqJDmh-wQICsTkSxg?docId=CNG.557023d06544577e36567f0c1c7ba5cd.ea1

  452. Jennifer said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:15

    Can’t resist quoting Ricky Man-on-Dog’s Twitter feed from the other day:

    “Soon, every Young Republican will have Santorum on their lips.”

  453. Looch said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:26

    And:

    The state of Alaska is expected Friday to release more than 24,000 pages of emails from Sarah Palin during her tenure as governor, almost three years after the documents were requested by news organizations and local activists.

    The emails were originally sought to shed light on the then-little-known running mate of 2008 Republican presidential nominee John McCain. Their release comes at a very different time: as Palin, who enjoys near-universal name recognition, is contemplating a White House bid of her own.

    The documents will be made available in Juneau, the state capital, in paper form. The Los Angeles Times will scan them and post them online, making each available in a searchable archive.

    Gotcha questions indeed.

  454. rodertudis said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:38

    Gotcha questions indeed.

    Holy kamoli. I hope no one ever uncovers what I wrote when I was in fourth grade. Or last week for that matter!

  455. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:44

    I also enjoy Hot Pockets

    I’m a lazy sod/slob w/o taste buds, but about the only frozen food I’ll eat is Stouffer’s, even knowing Nestle is a bad corporation. And fish sticks once in a while. (Also higher dollar store-brand frozen items that want to be Stouffers.)

    The larger point being that not every single fucking meal ever has to be a semi-orgasmic (or organic) culinary experience. Sometimes it’s just fuel.

    Cereal rules too.

  456. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:44

    Poopy and the Ho walking around the neighborhood with martini glasses—going for kind of a Hawkeye and Trapper vibe, I guess. I like it.

    OK, a gin martini is a martini and a vodka martini is a vodka martini. How come a gin gimlet is a gimlet and a vodka gimlet is a vodka gimlet, but a tequila gimlet is a margarita and a rum gimlet is a daiquiri? Hmmmmmm? Answer that, loony libs!

  457. El Manquécito said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:46

    Can’t resist quoting Ricky Man-on-Dog’s Twitter

    Jeez, some of us are eating here. Have a care lass.

  458. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 1:49

    And I feel you on the bourbon, tsam. I actually like Ewan Williams; it’s almost the cheapest you can get in a Washington State liquor store (which we just missed another chance to eliminate. Grrr!) 101 proof for about a dollar more than 80 proof Potter’s (yech!) and it goes down pretty good. ‘Course, I like Wild Turkey, so YMMV.

  459. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:05

    How come a gin gimlet is a gimlet and a vodka gimlet is a vodka gimlet, but a tequila gimlet is a margarita and a rum gimlet is a daiquiri?

    This will require much investigation. YOu will prepare a pitcher of each please.

  460. actor212 said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:06

    Gingrich’s election campaign team resigns en masse

    They left him for a younger hotter candidate: Rudy

  461. Just Alison said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:11

    Alison, I’ll probably regret asking this, but since my (recently passed) mother also was stricken by Alzheimer’s, I have to: What did Douchehat say about Alzheimer’s? Or were you simply referring to his opposition to health care reform?

    No worries – it was just with reference to the previous post about his ‘slippery slope’ argument about euthanasia. Mum was very distressed about what was happening to her, and I think it was probably a relief to her that she contracted a golden staph infection and thence suffered an aneuryism before she got too far down. But she did talk about wanting to die, and we all knew that she’d rather die than get too much further down the path. The whole family (Dad, my sister, and I) were at the hospital with her after the aneurysim, and we all agreed to the decision she’d already made to turn off the life support.

  462. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:21

    “This will require much investigation. YOu will prepare a pitcher of each please.”

    Make it two. I am SO on the panel of judges.

  463. Smut Clyde said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:23

    And I feel you on the bourbon, tsam.

    Show me on the whiskey bottle where the bad person touched you.

  464. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:24

    “OK, a gin martini is a martini and a vodka martini is a vodka martini. How come a gin gimlet is a gimlet and a vodka gimlet is a vodka gimlet, but a tequila gimlet is a margarita and a rum gimlet is a daiquiri? Hmmmmmm? Answer that, loony libs!”

    When you take a Salty Dog to Cape Cod Ii gets all Cosmopolitan.

  465. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:25

    I really only have one food quirk that triggers me….

    Cutting chocolate cake into square pieces does NOT magically convert it into brownies!

  466. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:49

    Orzo.

    Manhattans.

  467. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:54

    Orzo, yes.

    Bacardi 151°, 7-Up & Hawaiian punch concentrate. Mix it right & they won’t taste the booze until it’s coming back up.

  468. vs said,

    June 10, 2011 at 2:55

    And you should always undercook your brownies just a little bit.

  469. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:02

    Can I assume we’re talking about ouzo, the anise-flavored Greek liqueur, and nor orzo, the rice-shaped pasta?

  470. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:04

    Undercocking the ………..
    oops… never mind……

  471. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:05

    Can I assume…,

    NO!

  472. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:08

    I assumed orzo, as an option instead of Farsi-cut vermicelli.

  473. El Manquécito said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:09

    It’s safe to assume that I’m never talking about ouzo.

  474. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:13

    Yeah, I don’t like licorice.

    Google translate, or what ouzo does to the brain …?

  475. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:20

    Cutting chocolate cake into square pieces does NOT magically convert it into brownies!

    No, that’s not where the magic comes from. Not. At. All.

  476. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:24

    Just in case you missed it the first time,

    http://i.imgur.com/charE.jpg

    I just may do that same route again this weekend.

  477. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:26

    OK, a gin martini is a martini and a vodka martini is a vodka martini. How come a gin gimlet is a gimlet and a vodka gimlet is a vodka gimlet, but a tequila gimlet is a margarita and a rum gimlet is a daiquiri? Hmmmmmm? Answer that, loony libs!

    Drink two of each and all your questions shall be answered.

  478. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:27

    http://i.imgur.com/charE.jpg

    Mt St Helens?

  479. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:29

    And I feel you on the bourbon, tsam. I actually like Ewan Williams; it’s almost the cheapest you can get in a Washington State liquor store (which we just missed another chance to eliminate. Grrr!) 101 proof for about a dollar more than 80 proof Potter’s (yech!) and it goes down pretty good. ‘Course, I like Wild Turkey, so YMMV.

    I like that stuff too. R&R and BV are my favs among the affordable stuff, but I like ‘em all, really.

  480. g said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:29

    about the only frozen food I’ll eat is Stouffer’s,

    My comfort food go-to is Stouffer’s mac & cheese or spinach souffle. I don’t know what. It’s terribly fattening, but it comforts me.

  481. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:31

    Frozen tortellini + Newman’s Own marinara + fresh parmesan = happy tsam.

  482. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:41

    Yep, what’s left of her. Pic taken at McLellan overlook on Curly Creek Rd. east of the mountain.

  483. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:42

    Here’a an excellent example of how bestially fucking stupid & pretentious people can be. That 151° rum (Myers’s, served by the British Admiralty to British seamen, & distilled in JA, used to make a 151°, dunno if they still do, but recommended over Bacardi) I like is swell w/ Dr. Pepper, another all-American thing I like.

    But can you just mix the two & have at it? NO:

    Tim Burton loves to drink Dr. Pepper. That what Michel Dozois found out when creating cocktail recipes for Ray’s & Stark Bar to welcome the Tim Burton exhibit to the Resnick Pavilion at LACMA. Thus the Dr. Burton cocktail was born. The combination of DonQ white rum with Amaretto, Cheery Heering and Amaro CioCiara served over a large cube of Névé Ice mimics the flavor of Burton’s beloved soda.

    This cheery concoction with a cherry on top will be served through October 31 because Tim Burton would like all of his fans to be a pepper too.

    I don’t even want to know what fucking “Névé Ice” is.

    Keep It Simple, Stupids.

  484. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:44

    Have you tried Dry Fly Whiskey from right there in Western You-da-Ho?

  485. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:46

    Ice imported from Nevis maybe? Though I don’t think it actually freezes there. S maybe NEVER MIND.

  486. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:47

    Have you tried Dry Fly Whiskey from right there in Western You-da-Ho?

    Yes–and eaten at the little restaurant in the brewery. Their whiskey is fantastic and their vodka is equally perfect. Something we can actually be proud of over here.

    A Bloody Mary with Dry Fly Vodka and pickled asparagus….drooool.

  487. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:49

    And you should always undercook your brownies just a little bit.

    with or without pot?

  488. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:50

    Stouffer’s mac & cheese

    Not even I am so lazy & decadent that I would not make my own mac & cheese. (Preferably Kraft Velveeta-style.)

    Stouffer’s Welsh rarebit used to be pretty good, but I haven’t seen it in the stores lately.

    How’s everything else going?

  489. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:53

    Also, Captain Morgan’s spiced rum (especially the dark if you can find it) with Dr. Pepper is excellent, regardless of what type of ice it is served with.

  490. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:55

    So–my 13 year old daughter has revealed to me that she has a girlfriend. This came as a complete surprise.

  491. tigris said,

    June 10, 2011 at 3:58

    Névé luxury ice. Jesus.

  492. Chris said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:01

    The latest Fox scandal, about the Miss USA winner named Rima Fakih.

    Not that I give a shit about the Miss USA thing. But wow.

  493. Chris said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:03

    So–my 13 year old daughter has revealed to me that she has a girlfriend. This came as a complete surprise.

    Lucky for her that she’s your kid and not some Baptist minister’s.

    And congrats to her, also too!

  494. Substance McGravitas said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:06

    if the ice melts too rapidly

    Raising the melting point of the ice to 100°C is a clever trick.

  495. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:12

    Photo of Newt exposing his big snake to the public.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2011/01/meet-the-2012-gopers-ex-house-speaker-newt-gingrich-r-ga.php?img=4&ref=fpblg

  496. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:15

    “The latest Fox scandal, about the Miss USA winner named Rima Fakih.”

    A short meeting with Trump will straighten everything up.

  497. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:34

    Romney beleives in science, republican base furious.
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/06/09/983637/-Romney-believes-in-climate-change,-doesnt-want-to-do-anything-about-it?via=blog_1

  498. rodertudis said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:56

    Bourbon? I think Virginia Gentleman is pretty good. Lot of history behind it. You can’t find it in every package store though.

  499. Pupienus said,

    June 10, 2011 at 4:58

    “So–my 13 year old daughter has revealed to me that she has a girlfriend. This came as a complete surprise.”

    To whom, you or the girlfriend?

    That’s so sweeeet!

  500. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:00

    To whom, you or the girlfriend?

    Only me, I hope!

  501. g said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:12

    Not even I am so lazy & decadent that I would not make my own mac & cheese. (Preferably Kraft Velveeta-style.)

    au contraire. Stouffer’s mac and cheese requires a certain dedication – to bake it takes an hour at least. Especially if you want to get the browned crusty top. Microwaving just doesn’t cut it.

    Kraft takes mere minutes on a dorm-room hotplate with milk bought from basement vending machines and pats of butter swiped from the dining hall.

    I am a connoisseur of mac & cheese, and although my from-scratch is really good, I think both Stouffers and Kraft are two entirely separate, yet perfectly delectable variations.

    ‘m doing OK – thinking of finally going back to work tomorrow. lazing around has been fun.

  502. S. cerevisiae said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:12

    Someday Pup will be caught on camera making a packet of Top Ramen and we will hear of it from the string of bodies he kills to keep it silent.

  503. g said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:14

    Just made, today, for dinner – some ricotta/garlic tortellini from the store tossed with a bunch of vegs sauteed in butter – asparagus, fresh corn, onion, and tomato. With chopped basil on top.

    Pretty darn good. Now I can each vegetables again! And drink!

  504. Just Alison said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:17

    http://www.noob.us/humor/you-will-never-guess-what-this-ad-is-about/

    Sob. Dint work fer me.

  505. jim said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:18

    Could the Tea Party (Banjostan Division) be embracing both murderous white-power extremists in carrying out their anti-immigrant jihad … & the corporate fat-cats who actively aid & abet letting in more illegal immigrants to up their profits?

    UNPOSSIBLE IN EXTREMIS!!!

  506. Doctorb said,

    June 10, 2011 at 5:56

    FDR’s disaster was the defeat of Nazi Germany. These guys aren’t against WWII, they just think the wrong side won.

  507. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 6:10

    The lunatics have taken over the asylum.

    Soon you’ll all call me Che.

  508. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 6:12

    Good lord.

  509. Doctorb said,

    June 10, 2011 at 6:18

    I challenge anyone to show me a nuclear meltdown when stupid, intarticulate people were running the plant.

    You need a stupid, inarticulate person to pull a Homer.

  510. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 6:21

    Névé luxury ice. Jesus.

    I had a suspicion it was the moral equivalent of pink Himalayan salt.

    thinking of finally going back to work tomorrow. lazing around has been fun.

    As your imaginary physician, I advise waiting until Monday.

  511. M. Bouffant said,

    June 10, 2011 at 6:24

    JA: Try here.

    As I have no oven, I’d have to nuke the mac & anyway.

  512. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 12:34

    Morning quotes:

    “[Creationists] make it sound as though a “theory” is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.”

    Asimov

    “Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.”

    Einstein

  513. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 13:46

    Let us pray.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh0woT7NkKI&feature=related

  514. gocart mozart said,

    June 10, 2011 at 13:53

    Vagina!
    http://crookedtimber.org/

  515. Smut Clyde said,

    June 10, 2011 at 14:16

    Névé luxury ice. Jesus.

    All this talk about “The Esquimeaux having XX words for snow”, when it was completely predictable that we too would have XX words for snow and ice as soon as some arsehole found a way of turning it into a conspicuous-consumption class marker.

  516. El Manquécito said,

    June 10, 2011 at 15:04

    turning it into a conspicuous-consumption class marker.

    There you go. I have no problem with glacial ice or ancient ice or other fancy ices in my highball but I’m unwilling to pay extra cash money for it.

    The XX number of Inuit names for snow has been greatly exaggerated and Smilla’s Sense of Snow was a terrible book. /grump

    The Mt Ranier Highball: vodka, black cherry juice, splash of tonic with ice from the Carbon Glacier (graphite gray, slight earthy taste).

  517. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 15:21

    moronic provocative contention that men’s bad behavior, ranging from tweeting pictures of their tighty-whities to serial forcible rape, is all the fault of…women!

    Of course it is. What have we been telling you bitches for a couple of thousand years?

  518. tsam said,

    June 10, 2011 at 15:22

    DUH RALPH

  519. Helmut Monotreme said,

    June 10, 2011 at 15:24

    The best (and first) Mojito I ever had was on my 27th birthday which I celebrated at McMurdo Station, Antarctica. The rum was cheap NZ or Ozzie rum (Couruba IIRC) the mint was fresh off the plane from NZ (yay for friends that work in the galley) cheap sugar and million year old ice straight from spalling face of the glaciers in the dry valleys. The grit in the ice gave a tiny little thrill of danger- will we catch an ancient superflu trapped in the ice for a million years? who knows? lets get ‘faced.

  520. VS said,

    June 10, 2011 at 16:25

    “So–my 13 year old daughter has revealed to me that she has a girlfriend. This came as a complete surprise.”

    And I bet you handled it perfectly, because you’re an awesome dad.

  521. actor212 said,

    June 11, 2011 at 12:07

    The latest Fox scandal, about the Miss USA winner named Rima Fakih.

    She competed on a WWE show. That ought to have been enough to get her disqualified.

  522. Alan in SF said,

    June 12, 2011 at 21:52

    Isn’t “University” supposed to be in quotation marks when it follows “George Mason”?

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