Anthony May Be A Weiner But Ace Is A Dick


“But mine is THIS big!!’

Shorter Junior Detectivo and Master Kerner Ace, Ace of Spades (No One Gives Me) Headquarters
Did Anyone Order A WeinerGram?

  • You wanna know how I can prove that Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account wasn’t hacked as he claims? Because I know what his dick looks like and that is absolutely, positively a picture of his dick. Trust me.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 800

 
 
 

Now why would anyone trust the Ass of Spuds? Also just how is it that he is so intimately familiar with Weiner’s wiener?

 
 

Very impressive cock sammich!

 
the conspiratist
 

Obviously Ace fully understand how a single dick can dominate the entire Republican party and; of course, the bigger the dick the better.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I actually got a baguette last week that had a glans—on each end. No scrotum, though.

 
 

Shorter Ass of Spayeds: “Of course Weiner’s twit-feed wasn’t hacked, because I didn’t hack it and that’s totally not my cock!”

 
Tricky Dick Nixon
 

I am not a Cock!

 
Spearhafoc, who is not secretly Batman, I swear
 

I am not a Cock!

I think the thread has been won. There’s no point in the rest of us even trying at this point.

 
Spearhafoc, who is not secretly Batman, I swear
 

Winning the thread.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Whatever Weiner may have done, the world’s worst human beings are giving the young woman the Full Frost treatment, plastering every picture and mention of her they can find about her all over the place.

No matter what, they manage to obey some kind of rule to behave worse than whatever misbehaviour they’re complaining about.

 
 

Considering Weiner’s recent racist comments against the Palestinians and their rights to their internationally recognized borders, I don’t see why anyone to the left of center cares about this food fight.

 
Spearhafoc, who is not secretly Batman, I swear
 

Off topic, but this is the worst t-shirt I have ever seen.

Who the flying fuck would wear this?

 
 

Breitbart fails again at being honest.

In other news: Sun rises in East, bear found shitting in woods.

 
 

“We know we have a lot of work to do, but by the end of this year, Santorum will be on the lips of every young Republican.”

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2011/05/29/today-in-santorum/

 
 

The one thing I can say for certain is that’s NOT a pic of Ace’s dick, because a) the bump is visible without needing an electron microscope b) it was sent to A GURL and c) no mountains of quivering leg lard.

 
 

I dunno what’s going on with Weiner, but years of blogging has not improved Ace of Spades’ writing.

“I continue assuming, as Weiner says, that his Twitter account and his separate-company yfrog picture account were simultaneously hacked,”

Why simultaneously? Weiner would not know an account was hacked until notable action was taken by someone other than him.

 
 

“Who the flying fuck would wear this?”

I dunno, but the “running horny” silhouette should have an erection.

 
 

I dunno what’s going on with Weiner

The fact that Breitbart is involved with this tells you everything you need to know.

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

I dunno, but the “running horny” silhouette should have an erection.

Yes, that’s the major thing wrong with it.

 
 

Correction: “years of blogging HAVE not” –and in the course of criticizing someone else’s writing, sheesh.

 
El Manquécito
 

years of blogging has not improved Ace of Spades’ writing

No kidding. I got out of the boat. Don’t recommend it.

 
 

“Yes, that’s the major thing wrong with it.”

One or both of the silhouettes should be fat, too.

 
 

I love how each paragraph is one insanely long sentence. For example:

“I also assume that, after immediately wrestling control of these accounts from the mischievous malefactors, he deleted the offensive material, rather than preserving the evidence for the police, and the upcoming prosecution of the hackers, who he must surely wish to face the full consequences of law; I assume he did so just because he was so shocked that he wasn’t thinking clearly, and in fact was so stunned by this invasion of his boner zone of privacy that he coincidentally began acting like a man caught doing something wrong.”

 
 

Long sentences are proof of writing skillz!
~

 
 

it’s hard to make it long, camper.

 
 

I think the thread has been won. There’s no point in the rest of us even trying at this point.

like that’s ever stopped me before. Or anyone else around this joint, either.

“Who the flying fuck would wear this?”

Spear, haven’t you been hanging around manboobz in recent days?

 
 

Long sentences are proof of writing skillz!

Or a broken “.” on the keyboard.

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Spear, haven’t you been hanging around manboobz in recent days?

I just assumed those dudes only acted like that through the safety of Internet anonymity. This is going outside in the real world wearing a shirt that proudly proclaims themselves to a rapists. It’s a whole new level of fucked-upedness.

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Tagfail.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

So I’m watching the Indy 500 for the first time, really, since that bloody fiasco in 1973. (Which is relevant, because everybody knows what a demolition derby the first turn is—that race being the only one I remember with two disastrous first turns.) So what did they think was going to happen with this “double file restart” crap? Morons!

 
 

So I see Sarah Palin made her appearance at Rolling Thunder, showing the world her qualifications for President:

Posing for photo ops

She rode on the back of a motorcycle driven by someone else, wearing a black leather outfit and helmet. She stood around, signed autographs, and didn’t speak as part of the program.

Quite a success, by her standards.

 
Michele Bachmann
 

It would be rude to make a Dykes on Bikes reference.
So let’s not do that.

 
 

Haridan on a Harley is more like it, MB.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

One “l” in “Michele”, two “n”s in “Bachmann”—well, if she gets in, she’ll be the most-misspelled president in history.

So there’s that….

 
 

Oh Acehole, how can I quit trolling you when you keep being this idiotic?

Have a special-sauce DIY mango:

291 “All we have is a pic of some dude’s tent; we don’t even see the guy’s face or torso. Hell, that could be me in that pic for all anyone knows ”

[CUE: SAD TROMBONE MP3]

Hacking Twitter = COIN?
Now THAT’s funny!

“I bet he’ll be ejected from the party quickly like Republicans are on deals like this.”

Someone planted male prostitute “Jeff Gannon” into Bush’s Press Corps & never vetted him – consequences? ZERO.

Vitter was paying hookers to change his dirty diapers – consequences? ZERO.

Those two are just from memory. If you want many more just like them, I imagine they’d be easy to Google.

NEWS FLASH: it is not 1887 any more. Please try not to clutch those pearls too hard, you poor frail little girls. Adultery with a college girl is one hell of an awfully tame scandal by DC standards. It has some entertainment value in the media if the chump getting caught made their political bones from railing against “moral decay & perversion corrupting America” … & that’s about it.

But if you want to attack Weiner for adultery, & he goes down for having done the dirty deed, personally I think that’s just great. It takes a real bottom-feeding toerag to screw around on their spouse, & far more so if they have kids.

If anyone IRL can actually put the pair in the same place at the same time while both naked, sweaty & undulating rhythmically, that is.

I guess I must have missed that particular smoking gun among all the smoke being blown elsewhere?

WE CAN HAZ LINK PLZ???

Posted by: jim at May 29, 2011 01:23 PM (kplQ7)

My shame – it’s like a remorseless searing flame made of dozing kittens.

 
Michele Bachmann
 

Tim Paw,
Who the hell are you again? Name’s kinda familiar.

 
 

Hey, that bloody Indy fiasco is 1973 is the same race that a relative of mine came close to winning.

 
 

g said,

May 29, 2011 at 18:33

So I see Sarah Palin made her appearance at Rolling Thunder, showing the world her qualifications for President:

Quite a success, by her standards.

My comment at the NYT:

Your Submitted Comment

Is this a great country, or what?

#Grifting, #Winning

~

 
 

Heh. This is explains why I always thought Mamet was a talentless hack.

Also, dude, YOUR WIFE IS A SHITTY ACTRESS. Yet you insist on putting her in all your boring, pretentious little crap-fests.

 
 

Mamet’s done a bunch of good things. He’s not talentless, just out of his mind. Another case of a guy who’s made a lot of money without recognizing how much money the system has invested in him while thinking he was a manly man doing it solo.

 
 

Protesting the Oregon chub.
Marching the Indra.
Lending the automatism.
Objecting the mudminnow.
Executing the aesthetic.
Infecting the creation.
Getting the dromedary.
Wringing the ribbonfish.
Contesting the noodlefish.
Mutilating the tarantula.
Marking the friend.

 
 

Scripting the Perl.

 
 

Dissing the Mamet

Pidgeoning the Rebecca

 
 

After moving just a few feet, Ms. Palin got off the bike to sign autographs and talk with the crowd.

Heck, even the old rusted-out camper moves more than a few feet when someone manages to start the engine.
~

 
 

For the men: Cogburning the rooster.

For the women: Taking oneself back to old Virginny.

 
 

May I, as a very occasional commenter but Constant Reader, offer my sincere congratulations to you, VS, on birthing Dudeskull?
May you both enjoy good health and much joy together.

 
 

Thundering the Palin

 
 

Bachmanning the Michele

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Overdriving the Bachmann

 
 

Micheling the Bachmann?

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Ordering a WeinerGram.

 
 

Turning the Bachmann into Overdrive

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Expanding on the meme.

 
 

meming the expand

 
 

Heck, even the old rusted-out camper moves more than a few feet when someone manages to start the engine.

Moving a few feet?

Managing to start the engine?

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Stroking the penis/clitoris.

 
 

Walking the dog.

Rocking the baby.

Popping the clutch.

Splitting the atom.

Looping the loop.

 
 

Stroking the penis/clitoris.

What are you trying to say?

 
 

“Again with the Sesame Street.”

Why does it not surprise me, Elmo is a Trotskeyite!

Also, Scooby was a Nazi and he would have got away with it . . .

 
 

This has a link to Breitbart’s fail Apparently the different colour of the name means that that that block of pixels has been saved a different number of times to the surrounding stuff. The picture is not a fake but the screenshot was not from that picture.
I’m not computery enough to unnerstand what Ace is on about especially when he does his elephantine undergrad “humour” on it but I guess it falls into the “pissing lubruls off” category so he can go suck eggs.
What is the motivation for Breitbarts self abasement? Mommy never loved him enough?

 
 

Marking the friend.

NOT masturbation, FOREPLAY.

 
 

exford legs said,
May 29, 2011 at 19:10

Dee Dee

AHEM

Yeah, OK, sorry.

There is nothing new.

 
 

What is the motivation for Breitbarts self abasement? Mommy never loved him enough?

Remember, he is adopted, so obviously his bio mother hated him. Who knows what the adoptive parents were like?

 
 

Shorter Scott Johnson:

The Communist HHS Secretary is going to force health insurance companies to justify rate increases. She treats us like we’re nigger slaves.

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

What are you trying to say?

Too subtle?

 
 

Again with the Sesame Street.

Compare to David Sirota’s thesis on propaganda of the ’80s.

 
 

Too subtle?

Yes!

 
 

What is the point of Sadly No! if Breitbarts’ comments are satire on steroids to begin with. Fuck, it must be a difficult life if you can’t watch “Friends” without getting your knickers in a twist about the hidden message.
Also, too, maybe if it was so popular, as it was, people like the message and would think that you are a sad and bitter old git. Just a thought

 
 

The thing that Kiwis don’t know about Friends is that teams of thugs from NBC would come over to your house and hold your eyelids open while it was on.

 
 

Jeepers, how awful. They just used to post bulldog clips to us when the first episode of each series was on. Kiwi obedience was enough to make sure we watched it.

 
 


Substance McGravitas said,

May 29, 2011 at 21:25

Again with the Sesame Street.

Linked at the top of BigCrybabywood:

Hollywood’s radical lefties revealed

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/news/article.cfm?c_id=1501119&objectid=10728888

Upsidedownies promoting the Virgin Ben?
~

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

You thought they were kidding about “Must-See TV” didn’t you?

 
chimpevil (aka Serj Tankian lead singer of Sytem of a Down)
 

OK it is possible to almost die laughing. And seriously why the F would Weiner post a pic like that on twitter, and if Weiner’s weiner (wiener?0 is really all that, I’m movin to his district. Just sayin.

 
 

Palin’s appearance at the Rolling Thunder rally:

On the windshield of Palin’s bike: a likeness of President George W. Bush. Next to it, the words “Miss Me?”

Uh, just that fact alone shows she’s completely out of touch. Not even the right wing wants to go there.

 
 

Damn those Ho’wood libruls for cramming their lefty propaganda down our throats! LET THE FREE MARKET DECIDE!

What? Oh, never mind.

 
 

I’m with chimpevil – if that’s Tony’s sausage I like him even more.

 
 

Again with the Sesame Street.
Compare to David Sirota’s thesis on propaganda of the ’80s.

Imagine what damage to an impressionable young mind might have been caused by a mental diet of Goon Shows, Round the Horne and I’m Sorry I’ll Read that Again. Purely hypothetical case of course.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

But seriously, hatin’ on TV is a really moronic way to try to reach the y00t’, Widebeard. It may work on your demographic that’s in the process of dying out, but they don’t need convincing.

Why is hatin’ on Television such a bankrupt political strategy? Because Television is a wondrous land where a guy who looks like this can successively sleep with her and her and her and her. Is it any wonder so many of the young male demographic you’re trying to reach spend so much time there?

 
 

Great minds thinker like, Bouff

 
 

Great minds thinker like, Bouffe

Probably so, but does that mean small minds think alike too?

Re-enactors in Britain: Phony battles to remind us of the still-divisive War of TiDoS? No, <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/gallery/2011/may/29/bury-turns-clock-back-1940s#/?picture=375117131&index=0&quot;.riding a nice train in one's '40s finery.

 
 

Imagine what damage to an impressionable young mind might have been caused by a mental diet of Goon Shows, Round the Horne and I’m Sorry I’ll Read that Again. Purely hypothetical case of course.
Wouldn’t that be awful?
Imagine the silly, twisted boys that would result!

 
 

Need more kaw-fee, or a brain.

 
 

Upsidedownies promoting the Virgin Ben?
They know what side their schmuck is buttered on

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Buttering my schmuck.

 
chimpevil (aka Serj Tankian lead singer of Sytem of a Down)
 

Grilling the wiener.

 
 

Kiwis,
The blasted British have much to answer for in their radio policy towards former colonies.My Word and Just a Minute made would-be smartasses out of us all.What was the one with Jimmy Edwards and Ron and Eth Glum? Ah, nostalgia.

Suez in SAfrica.

 
 

Compare to David Sirota’s thesis on propaganda of the ’80s.

Some of the biggest reasons why pop culture heroes often were anti-government individualists in the 1980s was “anti-government” for non-Reaganite reasons:

The great super government hero types all neatly dressed as super-efficient and working for idealistic agencies just wouldn’t play well any more.

Would the A-Team have worked as a well-disciplined team of lovable crazies all working for a military command having gotten all sorts of success in the nice part of the war against Vietnam?

Being suspicious of government for reasons, say, having to do with the prosecution of war against Indochina or the repressions and jailings of minority activists or the wars of slaughter against Central America and so forth are not the same as being suspicious of government and enjoying anti-government heroes because of Reaganite Confederatist free-marketism.

Does Sirota look at both sides of this?

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

BBC News ……….

Fighters ‘seize south Yemen town’
UK council takes Twitter to US court
Cucumber fear spreads in Europe
Lewis Hamilton attacks ‘joke’ F1 stewards

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Seizing the south Yemen town
Taking Twitter to court
Spreading the cucumber fear
Attacking the joke stewards

 
 

There is nothing new.

Mourning the same-old.

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

The euphemisms are getting out of control!

 
Spearhafoc, who can't get over that fucking t-shirt
 

Controlling the euphemism.

 
 

Providing one’s own straight line.

 
 

Slow day in Sadlyland. The Euphemism Tilt-O-Whirl has lots of riders, though. When does the Amazing Sadly Rollercoaster open?

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

SPEARHAFOC!!!!!!

 
 

Opening the rollercoaster.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Programming note: If you’re looking for fun,
DO NOT WATCH the docu. about Townes van Zandt .

 
 

My new bumper sticker:

More Weiner, less dick!

Yes I am a (n Athony) Weiner fan!

 
 

Twitting the Wiener.

 
 

More Weiner, less dick!

Hey now!

 
 

Fart!

 
 

Hope and change news:

(Reuters) – An air strike by NATO-led troops in southern Afghanistan killed at least nine civilians, NATO and Afghan officials said on Sunday, and many of the victims were children.

“The Good War”
~

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,
May 29, 2011 at 21:25

Again with the Sesame Street.

Ummm. Well, the Mangoes there are few but nummy. And Ben Man-Virgin Shapiro is proving our expectations were not for naught.

 
 

Anon at some foreign time 0:48 be me.

 
 

Programming note: If you’re looking for fun,
DO NOT WATCH the docu. about Townes van Zandt .

Rhyming couplet FAIL.

 
 

Burp!

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

It’s all yours SC.

 
 

In a related story, Barack Obama proves he can walk and chew gum at the same time today

And yes, it’s pissed conservatives off.

 
Spearhafoc, who is teh Donalde
 

Pissing conservatives off.

 
 

When aren’t conservatives pissed off?

Seems like they’re a bunch of professional rage-junkies these days.

 
Spearhafoc, who is teh Donalde
 

But we did it too!!!

Bush Derangement Syndrome!!!!

 
 

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK!

Just watched the Monaco race. Holy motherfucking fuck this is the best F1 season
since … jeez I can’t remember!

 
 

Riding The Tilt-O-Whirl.

 
 

Forgetting my nym.

 
Spearhafoc, who is teh Donalde
 

Deranging Bush.

 
 

Mooselini wrote on her hand again

It’s hard to remember the same couple phrases she repeats everyday, you betcha.
~

 
 

omg…so glad I spent the day shopping instead of paying attention to wordly events…j.c. on a cracker…there is some high-grade crazy out there…

 
 

Rusted out camper, I think that needs to be shopped up with an old German WW1 spike helmet.

 
 

Spearhafoc, who can’t get over that fucking t-shirt said,

ranks right up there with “win her over with chloroform'”

 
 

damn…I am not on my game 2nite…that is not my customary tag fail…

 
 

The Palin photo, I mean.

 
 

also, trick my truck is prolly the worst show ever made…

 
 

Dancing in the Jefferson Memorial.

 
 

Heh. This is explains why I always thought Mamet was a talentless hack.

my, that is a huge mango of an article. i love when conservatives try to stretch the ‘this movie is conservative’ meme, it a little embarrassing. His arguments about ‘The Winslow Boy’, & how it is conservative is laughable at best. But he runs into shaky ground with his take on Oleanna (bog standard harassment at college flick). Our Ace sees only PC persecution in a sentence so long and convoluted, ti took me some time to figure out what he was saying:

Actually “misunderstanding” isn’t quite right — she’s almost simply insane, and, looking for support, quickly gets indoctrinated by some radical feminist group on campus, and begins speaking (IIRC) of “We the Collective” thinking this and “We the Collective” demanding that. It’s entirely about PC persecution, and, to the extent critics find fault with it, it’s because it’s not just a he-said/she-said “issues” movie: It plainly takes sides.

Grammar, its what all the kweel kids are doing!

 
 

I knew it! Tupac Isreal!

And in the antipodes, dish up fellas.

 
 

Changing the Rules

 
 

Comments at Hogeye’s link are precious.

So many pearl-clutchers!
~

 
Euphemonious Monk
 

Rusting the camper
Gaining knowledge of the battleaxe
Mozarting the gocart
Plucking the kiwi
Hogging the eye
Landing the lawn guy
Slaying the vacuum
Flipping the tragic
Relying on the truculent
Tinning the tin

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Euphemizing the monk

(Monkeying with the euphemism? Yeah, I like that one better.)

 
 

[sigh] I used to make these lists all teh time.

Sweeping the leg.
Wax on, wax off.
Strike First! Strike Hard! NO MERCY!

 
 

A little too much fascination with a Weiner named Weiner’s Weiner.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

A present for VS and Dudeskull?

POOP

Waiting for an ‘ahem’.

 
 

AK, Friends did not demonize gay people, but portrayed them as human beings with normal desires for family and companionship. So, in that way the show was pretty radically liberal. *rolls eyes*

 
 

Hunchy, believe it or not we are tracking this the old fashioned way–with pen and paper. FUN!

 
 

Btw, thanks for the congrats, congratulators. Y’all are very sweet. 🙂

 
 

I’m using Baby Connect. Thus far we have gone through 376 diaper changes in May.

 
 

It exports .csv files for ease of transferring for advanced data analysis. I’m going to look for correlations with the local hourly met data and see if she pees moar when it’s windy out.

 
 

Also let me add, we started tracking on paper in a diary. If you’re only tracking diapers this is quite managable. We were also tracking nursing (duration and side), which moar than doubles the number of events per day. Using an app for it is totally fantastic.

 
 

Also too, blah blah blah BABIES blah blah blah BABIES blah blah blah BABY THIS blah blah blah BABY THAT blah blah blah BABIES.

On a non-BABIES note, related local PENIS.

 
 

Thread is mine!!! BwaaHAHAHhahAHHAHHAA!!ones!1!

Kneel before Wangchuck, Son of Thread-El.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

So far today:

pee
poop
pee

 
 

practicing self-reliance

 
El Manquécito
 

Thus far: Twitter, TV & Tots, upon none of which do I opine. I’m going to the beach, y’all have a good holiday or Monday, whichever.

 
 

Crowdsurfing the arrow of entropy.

 
 

I did it for the lulls!

 
 

Dord is a fnord.

PS: How dense IS a fnord?

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

Well, lucky me! I got a call from my governor, Rick Scott, on Friday. Actually a call which relayed a recording of my governor, isn’t technology great? Anywho, he just wanted to let me know that he’d signed a new budget bill the day before and wanted to tell me how great this budget is going to be for us Florida folk. Of course the budget strips spending on silly things like education and infrastructure, but apparently there’s plenty of money in the bill to provide for propaganda phone calls.

 
 

Sarah PAlin looks constipated, which is weird cuz of all the diarrea that comes out of her mouth.

I typed this with a babby on my chest.

 
 

How is babby enchested?

 
 

I’m lying down for about the first time in 3 days. He’s sleepin on top of me. I’m on my iPhone.

 
 

i love when conservatives try to stretch the ‘this movie is conservative’ meme, it a little embarrassing.

It’s sort of pathetic that they feel the need to, and that all their reading and viewing material simply must fit within the narrow spectrum of Ideologically Acceptable Entertainment-Inducers. By their standards, I ought to ditch 24 (conservative), Firefly (libertarian), Star Trek (socialist) and that copy of The Three Musketeers on my bookshelf (monarchist).

God forbid anyone accept that someone somewhere made something entertaining without being One Of The Tribe.

 
 

They need to do way instain mother breastses. They need to put babbies on breastses because babby can’t frigths back.

 
 

Being suspicious of government for reasons, say, having to do with the prosecution of war against Indochina or the repressions and jailings of minority activists or the wars of slaughter against Central America and so forth are not the same as being suspicious of government and enjoying anti-government heroes because of Reaganite Confederatist free-marketism.

A.K.A. if the worst thing you’ve ever had to bitch about with regard to “the government” is the fact that you pay taxes, you’re a pretty sheltered and pampered human being.

 
 

Fitting within the narrow spectrum of Ideologically Acceptable Entertainment-Inducers, with lube.

 
 

I’m lying down….He’s sleepin on top of me. I’m on my iPhone.

Hmmm. So either you’re lying face down and typing by feel or you’re lying face up and typing with a heretofore unmentioned appendage extending from the small of your back. DS is lucky to have those genes in either case.

 
 

Lastly, this is what PJM gives the medal to as “the best Memorial Weekend lawn poster.” Nice to know what’s on their minds when everyone else is looking for ways to thank the vets.

 
 

That sign and the comments/wankfest over who would be their cabinet of horrors is true stupidity. Picked dew-fresh,slow cooked, steeped in bile and bitterness, distilled in copper vessels aged in wormwood casks and then bottle aged in the cellar of obtuseness.
Fecking morans

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

pee.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Hydrate!!

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Possible response to the t-shirt……

Police in southern Bangladesh say a woman cut off a man’s penis during an alleged attempt to rape her and took it to a police station as evidence.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13594762

 
Spearhafoc, who is feeling left out
 

Hafocing the spear.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Feeling the Left out.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Hey spearhafoc…..any thoughts on t-shirt design at the dailytees site?

Such as…

See How Fast You Run When Your Dick is Sliced Off

 
 

The entire history of this site has been leading up to a picture of Ace of Spades holding a giant dick. Except I always thought it would be black.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Firefly (libertarian)

I keep hearing that but I don’t really see it. It is anti-authoritarian, i.e. anti- the actually tyrannical government that exists in the story, but not especially approving of Big Corp. Uber Alles (since Blue Sun is definitely evil.)

Plus, there’s an extremely competent female techie character, and I can’t believe Libertarians would allow that.

 
Spearhafoc, who is feeling left out
 

Hey spearhafoc…..any thoughts on t-shirt design at the dailytees site?

Maybe the t-shirt is actually a good thing. It would certainly help women to easily spot the men that should definitely be avoided (if their creep-vibes weren’t strong enough already, that is).

Just trying to find a silver lining here.

 
 

I can’t believe Libertarians would allow that.

That’s a sentence that is useful in so many instances.

 
 

It may be only me or maybe other right-side up persons as well, but I haven’t been able to have a look at Lawyers Guns and Money for 24 hours. Why are you people buggering up the wires?

 
 

They exist for me. AND YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THE AWESOME POST THAT IS UP NOW. It changes EVERYTHING!!!!!!!1111!!!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Buggering up the wire.

 
 

Thread needs moar haiku, limericks, couplets, verse, and such. Long time since we’ve had extended poetry silliness here. I don’t write poetry easily, but others here can and do. You know who you are….

Also needs more wimmin Sadlies.

I’m bored by all the euphemisms. They are getting out of hand (as it were).

Usually ol’ Fenwick is full of praise and cheerleading. But this seems like a substandard thread to me.

Maybe it’s me: I often become bitter and depressed on Memorial Day (and Veterans Day). I’m so sick of saccharine, glib, superficial, hypocritical piety about KIAs. Have a goddam mattress clearance sale.

*slips back into the shadows*

 
 

Wait, whoa. I didn’t even get this story before, but I have to ask:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/30/980617/-Breitbarts-Weiner-hoax:-New-photos-surface!-Analysis,-and-Surprise!?via=blog_726205

This is a “lewd photo?”

 
Spearhafoc, who is feeling left out
 

Fenwick, disappointed
Too many euphemisms
Poetry ISREAL!

 
Spearhafoc, who is feeling left out
 

Oops. the first line is six syllables.

Haiku fail!

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Wingnuts post
Wax idiotic
We answer
Sadly, No!

Always searching
Never finding
The elusive
Peak Wingnut

Snark and jokes and
Euphemisms abound
(Abounding the
euphemism)

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Peak Wingnut Isreal

Peak Wingnut is not real

Heads asplode squishily.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Down on the upstroke;

Photoshopped toilets

Flush the wingnuts? Sadly, no!

 
 

Usually ol’ Fenwick is full of praise and cheerleading. But this seems like a substandard thread to me.

That’s cause the hunchback who washes dishes is also the chief cotton picker.

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Haikus, hard to
Keep track of
The syllables

Rhyming, so
Often awkward
And forced

Free verse
Is where
It’s at, yo!

 
 

Wingnuts post
People forget
The spittle flies as the camera glides
People forget
Forget they’re hiding
The Kochs smile
People forget
The snow packs as the Palin tracks
People forget
Forget they’re hiding.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Haikus in English

Are a mug’s game; Syllables

Aren’t morai—So sad!

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

You betcha
Also, too
Wink starbursts
Wink
Say is ain’t so
Joe, wink
In what
respect Charlie?
Also, too
You betcha

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

But Hark, the Wingnuts rage their lives away,
Obama, devil he is, confounds them,
How could this man, this Marxist rise so high?
Can not the people see, he is a ni–

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

And that’s the last time I ever attempt to write in Iambic Pentameter.

 
 

. I don’t write poetry easily, but others here can and do. You know who you are….

Apparntly not me. Hrmf.

There once was a Weiner named Tony
Who claimed the photos were phony
He said that in fact,
His Twitter was hacked
And besides that schlong is too bony.

 
 

Hell, even this thread could use MOAR PENIS. There’s nothing that cant use MOAR PENIS, especially D-KW’s mom.

 
 

What’s with this sudden rash,,, of pantsless twitter pics? Well apparently, pants only slow you down.

 
 

It’s like déja vu all over again.

Thread is mine!!! BwaaHAHAHhahAHHAHHAA!!ones!1!

Kneel before Wangchuck, Son of Thread-El.

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

I’ll destroy the thread before I let it get into the hands of one such as you, vile fiend!

 
 

Apparently the new Woody Allen movie requires you to know things.

The Aristocrats was that kind of movie. When I went to see it there were only six people there besides my date and me and I was the only one there who knew how funny incest and shitting all over people was. I should have explained all that to my date before the movie started because by the time the mime came along and acted out fucking that baby it was too late. I was laughing out loud, people were turning around and looking and she was sinking into her chair, embarrassed she didn’t get the joke I guess, and probably right then deciding she wouldn’t even bother to return my phone call the next day. My advice, don’t go see such a movie with a woman who teaches art history and subscribes to the NY Review of Books. Apparently that sort of stuff’s just a front for people who don’t know anything important.

 
 

Yes, damn you Dragon King Wangchuck, your perfidy shall not stand!

 
 

your perfidy shall not stand!

Are we on erectile-dysfunction euphemisms now?

 
 

Get off my thread, Canuck!!!

 
 

Are we on erectile-dysfunction euphemisms now?
I’m deflated that you asked.

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Impotent
……Deflated
…………Flaccid
…………….Limp
……………….Soft

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

My concrete poem is triumphant!

I have defeated the accursed thread at last!

Mwa ha ha ha haaaa!!!!

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Gus Cannon

 
 

Thanks ever so much, everyone.

 
 

Republicans are obsessed with cock.

 
 

That’s not a euphemism; that’s a metaphor.

 
 

Kneel before Wangchuck, Son of Thread-El.

and thus the thread dies…. perhaps you should have sent your mom, but does she not do the kneeling?

 
 

(Imported from another blog thread.)

Healthy granola
For post-apocalyptic
Berserker madness

 
El Manquécito
 

I can’t believe Libertarians would allow that.

That’s a sentence that is useful in so many instances.

This comment is suffused with excellence.

 
 

I was away from my computer all weekend, so I just saw the news now.

All Hail Dudeskull, who shall be king hereafter!

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Oh yeah, VS, did you make sure the birth certificate checks out? You don’t want any complications should the kid run for President one day.

 
 

,,,your perfidy shall not stand!

One lame perfidy, free to a good home. Un-named as it doesn’t come when you call*.

*Unlike your mom.

 
 

My concrete poem is triumphant!

i was going to note that somebody should make a poem about peni in the shape of a penis…that your poem should accurately depict the imagery of a failed penis is pure genius…well done you!

 
 

your perfidy shall not stand!

Who names their l’il guy Perfidy?!!!

 
 

Power Line is covering Weinergate!

Shorter Scott Johnson:

I know Anthony Weiner is guilty of cheating on his wife because he’s been seen in public with his wife.

Shorter John Hinderaker:

We know Weiner sent the weiner because nobody is in jail for hacking his account. QED.

Update: Check out Iowahawk’s hilarious take: Weiner is a small-dicked liar.

 
 

Weinergate – obviously the problem is due too much government regulation. The only way to prevent this sort of thing from happening in teh future is with tax cuts and tort reform.

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

Since the thread is dying a slow agonizing death, I will take this opportunity to have a little rant. Just to make me feel better.

I am part way into the third Steig Larsson book. My sister gave me the books for Christmas. I had been told by many people what wonderful books they are and was glad to get them. However, I find them rather disappointing. I do really like the character of Lisbeth, but the first book took forever before something interesting actually happened. The second book only took half of forever to get into the actual story. The third book gets into the story right away, but has a couple things going on that are just so stupid they are driving me crazy. I really can’t see what all the fuss over these books was about. I wish that Ben Tripp guy would get another book out soon so I could get on to something worth reading.

 
 

Shorter Jonah Goldberg:

Weiner is probably guilty because he wants us to think he’s innocent and isn’t that just what guilty people always want us to think???? More proof: Nancy Pelosi used the Mark Foley scandal as campaign material.

 
 

Well it’s obvious that the problem with teh Stieg Larsson books is too much government regulation. I’m sure a round of tax cuts would greatly improve the narrative flow.

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Obamacare is responsible for Twilight!

 
 

I really can’t see what all the fuss over these books was about.

I liked the first one well enough, then I read the second one. All I could do was wonder how one person could manage to encounter that much unexpected sexual bondage slavery and sadism in her routine life. Talk about coincidence!

Anyway, I didn’t read the third book. Does she ever encounter anyone normal?

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

Well it’s obvious that the problem with teh Stieg Larsson books is too much government regulation. I’m sure a round of tax cuts would greatly improve the narrative flow.

Well, that and the fact that Larsson is Swedish, so obviously the problem is communisn!

 
Spearhafoc, who sucks at poetry
 

Have you ever noticed that Bill Clinton and that “kid” who wrote Eragon have never been seen in the same room together? Very suspicious.

 
 

Holy figgity fuck Jonah is stupid. Consider:

Meanwhile, the only person who wants to let the story die is Weiner, which suggests he’s the one who has done something wrong or knows something he doesn’t want others to know.

So apparently:
1. Weiner’s teh only person that wants teh story to die? What aboot teh young girl who is now being ogled over the intartrons by gross winger d00ds twice her age? What aboot teh Sekrit Group of Leftsists Demo-traitors that controll All Media? What aboot all teh old tradition conservative fartbags that Jonah FFFfffFfAARRRtttTTs for and don’t care to hear about any weiners?
2. He’s guilty because he doesn’t want everyone talking about his schlong. I guess in Pantload’s world, people who are falsely accused love nothing better than for those false accusations to be taking seriously.

Interesting note, re: #1.
Breitbart wants an investigation, therefore everyone except Weiner wants an investigation. In Jonah’s world there are only the good guys and teh ebil leftsist fascist islamoatheist liberals. No one can be neutral on Weinergate – either you’re for probing Members of Congress and the members they use for congress – or you’re with al Qaeda. Or something. Now them Cheetos aren’t going to eat themselves and there are deadlines to pretend are looming.

 
 

Taken, not taking. I blame Chief Editor Korir WordPress.

 
 

Who names their l’il guy Perfidy?!!!

Well, there is a whole tradition of naming wimmin babbys after virtuous qualities: Faith, Prudence, Felicity, etc. My assumption is that naming a child Perfidy would generall fall under the same rubric. Also Calumny.

When I was a consultant, there were a three simultaneous feti at my workplace. At midday, six or seven of the wimmins would gather around the lunchroom table and talk all about bebes.

Once I was in getting coffee, and they were talking about names. I mentioned that I ever had a male child, I would give him a Biblical name.

“Of course, he might have difficulty on the playground as ‘Pontius Pilate T____’

*I’ll be here all week in the Tiki Lounge*

 
 

Probing the Member.

 
 

When I was a consultant, there were a three simultaneous feti at my workplace. At midday, six or seven of the wimmins would gather around the lunchroom table and talk all about bebes.

I am interested in your ideas! Perhaps you have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

 
 

Fenwick, I think tigris was referring to a man naming his manhood “Perfidy.” I, too, was confused at first. It was her reference to “l’il guy” that threw me off. My manhood is named “Thor.”

 
 

I think tigris was referring to a man naming his manhood “Perfidy.”

Boy, talk about truth in advertising.

 
 

DK-W & the Bear:

But what do you guys really think?

Top-notch rants. Quel Fromage!

 
 

Thanx for splaining, smedley. Sometimes the wit here flies right over my head. Also, since I never ever leave the boat, I wouldn’t have known if tigris was making a ref to the mango text.

My manhood is like unto a legendary wizard: It is known by many names.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

I named mine Ray Palmer.

 
 

Well since we’re all bragging about our PENISes – in order to stay topical I’ve got to say: pics or it didn’t happen.

 
 

Staying topical.

Also, pics are sort of the problem, whether or not that’s Weiner’s weiner.

 
 

Among them Droopy Dog. (I am 62, remember.)

But my Dog is more alert then Joe Lieberman.

 
 

you guys are starting to gross me out…

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

BBkf’s right. Enough about penises.

Let’s talk about testicles instead.

 
 

Let’s talk about testicles instead.

Or we could sing!

Do your balls hang low…

 
 

Mine are named Humongous and Tremendous.

We’re talking about feet, right?

 
 

Let’s talk about testicles instead.

oh, yes…much more attractive to think about…one question tho, while most men have a nickname for the l’l guy, do the balls also get names? or are they just universally referred to as ‘the boys’?

 
 

We’re talking about feet, right?

well, you know what they say…

 
Euphemonious Monk
 

or are they just universally referred to as ‘the boys’?

Well, I call mine “the fleet”, cause of all the seamen. Which leads to my favorite euphemism: Granting shore leave.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

As I heard a comedian say once: if women had testicles, there’d be an anti-wrinkle cream for them.

 
 

Well, I call mine “the fleet”, cause of all the seamen

laff…

 
 

while most men have a nickname for the l’l guy

I call my PENIS my PENIS. My testicles are my testicles. That way when your mom gives me an infection, there’s no confusion when I talk to my doctor.

 
 

We’re talking about feet, right?

well, you know what they say…

Sure: Big feet, big shoes.

 
 

Sure: Big feet, big shoes.

oh, i suppose they do say that. i was thinking more along the lines of cowboy curtis on peewee’s playhouse…

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

Sure: Big feet, big shoes.
Bigshoe Isreal!

 
 

also, too

 
 

Way up in Harlem
At a table for two
There were four of us
Me, your big feet, and you
From the ankles up
You were mighty sweet
But from them down
Just too much feet
Your feets too big

 
 

My manhood is named “Thor.”

Try some lotion.

 
 

Way up in Harlem
At a table for two
There were four of us
Me, your big feet, and you
From the cankle s up
You were mighty sweet
But from them down
Just too much feet
Your feets too big

fixed so t&u doesn’t feel left out…

 
 

Hey!

Where’d that lying fuck Preview get off to now?

 
 

HA!

That Breitbart–what a card.

 
 

That Breitbart–what a card.

and the comments are also hi-larious…

 
 

hey tsam…day 11…and feeling pretty fine…are you still hanging in there?

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

My manhood is named “Thor.”

Thor’s hammer was quite a bit shorter than it was meant to be.

Loki had made a wager with the other gods that the sons of Ivaldi could construct better objects than the gods’ usual dwarf blacksmiths: Brokkr and Eitri. While Brokkr was forging Mjölnir, Loki transformed into a fly to pester the dwarf. As a result, Brokkr was unable to finish the hammer, and it was left with a shortened handle.

Brokkr and Eitri still won though. Loki had wagered his head, but he managed to get out of it by saying he had only wagered his head and not his neck. Since they were unable to find the exact point where the neck ended and the head began, Loki was allowed to live. However they sowed his mouth shut with wires in revenge, forcing him to tear out the wires himself

And that, children, is why Loki has a crooked smile.

 
 

I had nothing to do with the naming of it. It just IS.

 
 

Thor is not soothed by lotion. Frequently, Thor becomes engorged by lotion.

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

Waller.

 
 

Note that the PENIS in question is not named Mjöllnir, but Thor. After a god known for his short temper and tendency to explode with passion prematurely. Also destined to spend a lot of time wrestling with a great serpent.

 
 

nothing like penile talk to bring a thread back to life…

 
 

bbkf said,

Let’s talk about testicles instead.

oh, yes…much more attractive to think about…one question tho, while most men have a nickname for the l’l guy, do the balls also get names? or are they just universally referred to as ‘the boys’?

I just call mine “Lefty”.

 
 

bbkf said,

nothing like penile talk to bring a thread back to life…

And then Hitler shows up and kills it.

 
 

And then Hitler shows up and kills it.

You know who ELSE liked to show up and kill threads?!!! HITL… oh fuck it.

 
 

I just call mine “Lefty”.

heh…we had a dude dishwasher who had one ball, a scorpion tattoo and a hunch back…oddly enough, he still lives at home w/his parents…

 
 

oddly enough, he still lives at home w/his parents…

Even odder: that he’s winning if he isn’t leading a violently radical right wing political “party.” No Jonah, I’m not talking about the Socialists.

 
 

we had a dude dishwasher who had one ball, a scorpion tattoo and a hunch back…oddly enough, he still lives at home w/his parents…

Clearly they have the other ball.

 
 

Clearly they have the other ball.

i think you are correct…after all, when he comes out to dinner w/his ‘rents, he can have one beer before dinner and then he has to drink milk w/his meal…did i mention he is about 47 and the tat of the scorpion is on his ankle? and he would *tie* his shoes in such a way that everybody got a good look at his bad ass tat?

 
 

and he would *tie* his shoes in such a way that everybody got a good look at his bad ass tat?

At least he wouldn’t zip his pants in such a way that everybody got a good look at his lonely ass ball.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

Wait, how do you know he only has one testicle?

 
 

Al Qaeda will kill you so dead you are dead
They’ll rip off your scrotum and chop off your head
Then use your remains in three nights of buffets
But that won’t compare to the rage of those gays.

 
 

The rage of those gays is a thing to be feared,
Teh ghey is contagious, a guy can get queered.
So Roger will hide behind bulletproof glass,
To safeguard the purity of his fat ass.

 
 

everybody got a good look at his lonely ass ball.

How could an ass ball ever be lonely?

Also: preemptive eww.

 
 

Al Qaeda has guys who’ll shake hands and explode
Then others who’ll serve up your chunks a la mode
Still more are in orbit perfecting death rays
But what you should fear is the threat of those gays.

Al Qaeda will rip all your limbs from their sockets
And then mount your torso on Katyusha rockets
And fire you at toddlers to hearty hoorays
Still I shiver to think of the acts of those gays.

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

C’mon Roger, what really Ailes ya?
Are they really that scary, those male genitalia?
Lock youself in, give in to your fright.
Ooh, what about anthrax? Better make it airtight!

 
 

Al Qaeda’s new poison will curdle your guts
Then they’ll use your dead carcass to poison your mutts
Then serve up those dead dogs as poisoned parfaits
Though that’s mercy compared to the plans of those gays.

 
 

This thread, it crawls slowly to end times,
To be revived by well-crafted rhymes?
I am not so sure, so just between us,
I think the thread needs much more penis!

*runs*

 
 

Wait, how do you know he only has one testicle?

okay, fine, i can’t verify that personally, but that’s what the boss told us…have you not heard of kitchen confidential?

 
 

The gays have perfected a homo-ing bomb,
Much to the dismay of one Dragon-King’s mom.
The gays will be steamed when their grand end-game fails,
Their pheremones won’t work on Roger E. Ailes.

 
 

Weiner = weiner, Ace = dick … related?

 
 

*runs*

The pooch
Is screwed
And Looch
Is nude.

 
 

A naked Looch tweeting a naked Looch pic
Would anger the righties with his Loochy dick.

 
 

A PENIS is flopping, it belongs to teh Looch
Look out, Roger Ailes, he is aimed at yer hooch!
That PENIS is loaded, could explode any time
Run and hide in your panic from this penile crime.

 
 

hey tsam…day 11…and feeling pretty fine…are you still hanging in there?

Hey BBQF (I had to go with Q cuz I’m hungry).

It’s day 23 for me and doing very well now. I’m not really being a crybaby all that much anymore. Glad to hear you’re doing well.

 
 

He hides in his office, behind thick plate glass
And worries all day ’bout his virginal ass.
“Gay men of the world”, loudly shouts Roger Ailes,
“I just haven’t gotten a taste for some snails!”

 
 

Each time I refresh the screen,
I see Acehole’s rubber peen.

 
 

Roger Ailes has a panic room
For his protection
From terrists and gays he claims
But I see projection.

 
 

Roger’s luggage is exceptionally heavy. I’d call somebody about that.

 
 

Heaving the luggage.

Btw; this is a new thing since I left–I’m aware of all internet traditions, but this one is not among them. What is the meaning of this?

 
 

Roger’s luggage is exceptionally heavy. I’d call somebody about that.

Roger’s rent boy gots major junk
Needs it to move Roger’s trunk.

 
 

What is the meaning of this?

Indeed. Excellent question, but this room is arguments. You want philosophical discussions down the hall.

In this particular case, however, we’re coming up with new euphemisms for masturbation. Which may actually have begun before you left.

 
 

Life is short
Times are hard
Here’s your fucking
Christmas card

 
 

In this particular case, however, we’re coming up with new euphemisms for masturbation. Which may actually have begun before you left.

AH–yes. That did begin long ago. Also, poor comprehension skills began about 41 years ago in my case.

 
 

We have a collaborative Epic Pome in progress. Think Iliad, Odyssey, Aenaid, Beowulf, Elda Edda, and suchlike. Yeah, pretty much like thatt, sorta, only Utterly Demented.

——————–

<Well, I call mine “the fleet”, cause of all the seamen. Which leads to my favorite euphemism: Granting shore leave.

My nominee for Winner-O-The-Thread.

——————

I just call mine “Lefty”.

I call both of mine ‘Lefty’. It’s a political thing.

Also I think all outfielders should play Left Field, no matter where they are positioned.

—————-

nothing like penile talk to bring a thread back to life…

& You know who ELSE liked to show up and kill threads?!!! HITL… oh fuck it.

& <you guys are starting to gross me out…

As I suggested earlier, thread needs moar Sadly wimmin folk in strands and conversation. They seed topics and I enjoy when they talk about fashion and style. And certainly politics, women’s issues, women’s perspective on the world.

(Fer example, ever since I’ve returned, I’ve missed T&U’s frequent commentary and conversations here.)

I dunno why men are obsessed with their genitalia. I think it starts while showering during puberty in late Middle School PE. Also there’s the whole Male Competition (esp in athletics and sex) thing. And, of course, much of it rests on a sub-strata of uncertainty. And the Aggressive Macho thing, which fortuneately is not as entrenched in North America as in in other parts of the world.

I know women confront far more severe body self-image issues, given the twisted standards (imo) of what constitutes beauty and/or sexuality.

————–

bbfk, tsam, and other ex-smoke Sadlies: Today I had my first day without ever once reflexively reaching for my non-existant pack of smokes.

Alas I am gaining weight, and noticeably. I’ve had trouble with that in recent decades as I became more sedentary. Now I’m compensating with food, munching and nibbling.

Finally, although I am an ex-smoker, I am still addicted to nicotine, and–I fear–to a significant degree: My nicotine delivery system is (variously) lozenges and gum (at the 4 mg maximum). I’m trying to cut down of them.

Also too and moreover, my sleep is roller-coastering around, I’m still more short-fused than normal, and I’m isolating so I won’t lash out so much. (I lashed out in an awful way to good friend today.)

But I ain’t going back to cigarettes never ever. I can’t do poetry well, so here’s some Dylan for the ex-smokers.

I can change, I swear.
See what you can do.
I can make it through.
You can make it too.

 
 

The thread will get better when you all shut up about the euphemisms and get on with the mephemisms.

 
 

Big Bad Bald Bastard !!!!!

Do you ever pull weekend shifts anymore? I’ve missed conversation with you during the Night Hawk hours.

 
 

“The thread will get better when you all shut up about the euphemisms and get on with the mephemisms.”

Excelsior!

 
 

Do you ever pull weekend shifts anymore? I’ve missed conversation with you during the Night Hawk hours.

This past weekend was our major spring fund raiser- I even missed out on most of my college reunion (made it late to the big cocktail party and the event-ending breakfast). I spent much of the weekend outdoors, making sure things went smoothly (why nobody told me that a local radio station would be broadcasting from our site escapes me). I can’t complain, I had fun, even with the craziness.

I’m just now catching up on news, so I totally missed Weiner’s weiner scandal.

 
 

This thread will get better when people start getting naked!

…there. Done.

 
 

OK–I know Ace’s secret identity which you have all now seen on the internet, thus true Q to the ED.

 
 

This thread will get better when people start getting naked!

Already happened

 
 

I dunno why men are obsessed with their genitalia.

I do, but I ain’t telling.

 
 

I met a lovely girl in Old Mexico
She grabbed me and wouldn’t let go
I tried to tell her I wasn’t any good
So she squeezed even harder on my limber wood
‘Til finally I promised her a cheese taco
She replied that she preferred a beef burrito
So round and round the room we went
Till my enchillada was completely spent
Now I never go to Old Mexico
For fear she might remember the Alamo

 
 

This thread will get better when people start getting naked!

Fruit of The Looms & a T-shirt count?

 
 

RODERTUDIS !!!!!!

Where’s the rest of the Nicaraguan Volcano Legend and stuff storry?

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 
 

Hello Fenwick. The tale is too sad to continue. The boy is dead, starved and beaten to death. I am guilty too, thinking I could earn some points here with this sick story. I can only say I didn’t know what had happened to him.

The bus trip over was a disaster too. It’s rainy season here now, started May 19th. They call it winter. The roads turn to slick black mud when it rains more than a cup. We slid off the road, down an embankment, into the river. At first I thought we would be okay because we were lodged against a giant boulder, but the current was just too strong and it spun the bus around, then flipped it upside down.

I was in the rear of the bus, a big yellow Blue Bird. A campesino next to me used his machete to pry out the window in the rear door and we swam out. No one here knows how to swim but the people in the cars behind the bus made a human chain down to the river and began pulling everyone out. No one drowned, amazingly. The bus sank completely. This happened around ten or so at night in the pitch dark. A really horrible experience.

I know there must be some sort of lesson in this for me. I just can’t say what it is.

 
 

The gun is good. The penis is evil

I saw that video in the sidebar of your K-9 youtuber, Spearhafoc, and I had to post it. For zombie’s sake.
~

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

Methinks you made a mistake.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 
 

Oops, yes. Stupid control c! Do what I meant!
~

 
El Manquécito
 

I even missed out on most of my college reunion

Why anyone could see this as a bad thing I will never understand. I missed my 30th this weekend and enjoyed every minute of it. Bright college years, O! carefree days that suck…..

 
 

I suppose the 40th reunion of my high school class would be occurring sometime this yr., but the spawn of the wealthy can all kiss my grits.

 
El Manquécito
 

I suppose the 40th reunion of my high school class would be occurring sometime this yr.,

Just got the invite to my HS 35th, of whom there were 92 as I remember. Only seen two of them since and prolly won’t travel the 1300 miles to see what’s left of them. Doing them a favor is how I see it.

 
 

Brave souls

 
 

Try again. Brave souls

 
 

Whatsa guy gonna do on a Tuesday evening when he doesn’t feel much like cooking? Cream of asparagus soup (in some ways I hope spring never ends) on account of because it’s easy and quick and i have lots of spargles and also home made croutons and creme fraiche on hand. Picked up some soft shell blue crabs at Whole Paycheck yesterday so ill just make easy soft shell crab sandwiches a la, somewhat, Thomas Keller. Pommes frite, yes, I think French fries (with home made fritTesaus are perfect to go with. A nice tart, halbtrocken Oregon reisling.

 
 

I took The Ho to my small, rural PA town HS 25th, 10 years ago. We rode into the campowners association grounds on our sport bikes. It was kind of fun. We raised a few eyebrows but no one got too excited which slightly surprised (and disappointed) me.

 
Hey, it's just Alison
 

I can’t talk about fashion and stuff, but if you want to have a look at a trailer for a film I’m angling to get a review copy of, check out this one – Robogeisha. You’ll see why no-one could resist it…

 
 

Robogeisha. You’ll see why no-one could resist it…

Awesome!!!
~

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

I can talk fashion!

Does anybody know the proper etiquette concerning a double-breasted jacket where two of the front buttons can be fastened? Do you do the bottom one up or leave it undone like you would for the bottom button on a single-breasted jacket?

I’m getting conflicting information on the series of tubes.

 
 

Robogeisha

Interesting, but unlikely to surpass Frankenhooker.

 
 

A double breasted jacket may, in my opinion should, be fully fastened. Caveat: I would never wear anything but a barrel back double breasted jacket and fully buttoned is the way *I* would wear it. I can’t speak to some vented double breasted jacket atrocity so if that’s what you have then just throw it out or give it to some homeless person upon whose appearance it might make an improvement which is impossible for anyone who dresses like a gentleman.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

The jacket is barrel back, but this is all theoretical anyway since I don’t actually wear the thing.

It doesn’t go with any of my trousers. I have a pair where the blacks almost match. I mean, they’re right next to identical, but that’s not identical enough. Nobody else can tell, but I can.

 
the conspiratist
 

Ace, it’s hard not to notice how aroused an image of an erect penis in boxer-briefs has gotten you and all your whinger brethren.

 
 

OT: John Stewart is on fire! First he skewered the snowzilla not running tour, now he is showing “the Wiener”.

lulz.

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

OT

This is a Sadly, No! thread. Is that really necessary?

 
 

True, I think there was even iambic pentameter somewhere upthread.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

“The thread will get better when you all shut up about the euphemisms and get on with the mephemisms.”

Yeah! Come on, people, foke!

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

Am I the only one who gets genuinely sad seeing men walking around in really great suits, but ruining their looks by fastening the bottom button?

I feel like going up to each and every one of them and yell, “You’re a grown man, learn how to dress damnit!”

Alec Baldwin keeps pulling that crap on 30 Rock, as if he wasn’t detestable enough.

 
 

Like dudes who tuck t shirts into their straight leg jeans, yes.

 
 

I see Breitbart is implying that Weiner is having relationships with very young girls. Class act, He’s an Aristocrat!!

 
 

Robogeisha and Frankenhooker: Both filmed in Arkansas.

Gee, tsam, that’s hard, considering you’ve described my wardrobe and ‘style’ exactly. I don’t understand real male fashion…like that cut-o-the tuxedo / smoking jacket stuff. Double-breasted is beyond me. (Well, in men’s fashions anyway.

Out of curiosity do any Sadly males wear cowboy boots? Don’t wear
’em now, but I lived in square-toes for years; part of my costuming in the ’60s. But my dressy ensemble was more military/cavalier; I combined the boots with black jeans and my step-father’s beautifully-tailored Army uniform coat from WWII. When I was a consultant, I worked in sports coats–beige and navy lightweights in summer; tweed an corduroy in cooler periods and winter.

I’m thinking about resuming boots after moving to Albuquerque next year. With my absurdly long beard, I think I’ll Gold Prospecter to the Wizard and Leo Tolstoy identities.

I enjoy reading about fashion and food here, because I am have Mr. Clothes Utilitarian for years … and can’t cook a lick.

Speaking of which, I think I’ll go make some simple turkey sandwiches.

 
 

dropped words: ‘add’ in 3rd para; ‘been’ in 4th para. I have Special Exemptions from Zeus, so it’s okay.

 
 

Just heard the sonic booms, shuttle is on it’s way home.

 
 

I was the anonymous Breitbart common tater just before but my computer forgot who I was because I was trying to get to be able to see Lawyers Guns and Money which I can now see what with being a teckernologee wizzard.
I just felt you should know.

 
No really, ya think?
 

“IAEA: Tsunami Risk Was Underestimated”

 
Spearhafoc, who didn't sleep well last night
 

Well, it looks like my insomnia is back.

Motherfucker!

 
 

Just heard the sonic booms, shuttle is on it’s way home.

Just one launch left of the most beautiful ‘waste of money’ the United States ever created.

 
 

Spearhafoc, get yourself a copy of Ben Shapiro’s book about the Lubruls infecting the Teevee that’s got to be lights out time inside of a page

 
 

I see Breitbart is implying that Weiner is having relationships with very young girls. Class act, He’s an Aristocrat!!

I noticed at the start of this silliness, when I glanced at Weiner’s feed, that he gets quite a few ladies with saucy names replying to his tweets. A reg’lar chick magnet, apparently. Some of us got it. Some of us don’t. Sorry, Breitbart. Do I detect a note of jealousy?

Also, too. While I know that the penis knows no boundaries and has no conscience, when it comes to the idea of Weiner straying, I have but one question.

Have you seen dude’s wife?

Yeah.

 
 

OT: John Stewart is on fire! First he skewered the snowzilla not running tour, now he is showing “the Wiener”.

He and Weiner were roomies in college. If ANYONE knows Weiner’s weiner, it’s Stewart.

 
 

Have you seen dude’s wife?

There was much talk about her when they married. Apparently, she’s a warm and close …if you know what I mean, and I think you do…friend of Hillary’s, and that the marriage was a beard for the both of them.

Which, you know, sort of negates the whole “I sent my peenie pix” trope, if true.

 
 

A double breasted jacket may, in my opinion should, be fully fastened.

“May,” sir? While the rest of your comment rebuts this conditional, I strongly protest your use of this weakness! A double breasted suit MUST be fully buttoned such that it contours your hips and…

pardon me…I think I’ve an attack of the vapors now….

And vents are not double breasted. They are an atrocity committed by men of a certain lineage who needed to get to a gun in the waistband

 
 

Note to self: When you run, they chase you.

 
 

Have you seen dude’s wife?

Yeah…but I also remember a certain crummy British actor who was married to Elizabeth Hurley, and got caught having sex with a butt-ugly hooker.

For normal people, this argument works.

 
El Manquécito
 

For normal people, this argument works.

I have two responses:

1. I guess I’m not normal.
B. Looks ain’t everything.

 
 

Congressman West says gays can change their behavior:

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2011/05/31/231696/allen-west-gays-change-behavior/

It’s true! Look at West. He used to be gay! And white!

 
 

Congressman West says gays can change their behavior:

Only two comments down a guy calls IGMFY. Word.

Couple decades back, large numbers of Irish and Italian Americans voted for Nixon and Reagan (occasionally even Wallace) because they had theirs and those black people were pretty scary. Now you have a black guy doing the same to gays.

And lo and behold, he’s doing it from the GOP. Thus confirming my assessment that while there is such a thing as a black racist, the only ones who have any impact are Republicans.

 
 

Does anybody know the proper etiquette concerning a double-breasted jacket where two of the front buttons can be fastened? Do you do the bottom one up or leave it undone like you would for the bottom button on a single-breasted jacket?

BUTTON THAT SHIT. Also, that suit better had be *impeccably* tailored, well-styled, and worn with flair. Otherwise, kill it with fire.

 
El Manquécito
 

Otherwise, kill it with fire.

This would be my first choice.

 
 

Otherwise, kill it with fire.

I believe I have stated my opinion on teh double breasted suit before, with clarification. A year later, it is still true – teh double breasted works in two situations:
1. You are slim and want a structured suit to give bulk to your silhouette. In this case, you should be wearing something tightly fitted.
2. It’s a winter-weight overcoat.

With both situations, you have to button the jacket. All of them. Doesn’t matter if it’s a four or six or a six on two. It’s especially true for a two button or an n on one, but then the button isn’t merely teh bottom button (it’s teh only functional button).

If it is a six (i.e. a six on three), pics or it didn’t happen. I think it’s actually a violation of teh Geneva Conventions to make one of these jackets.

 
 

Allen “Uncle Token” West.

Die in a fire and take all the other racist teabagging fucking fascists with you, please.

It must be quite an honor to be the blackface of the Tea Party. Quite an accomplishment, worthy of the respect of all of your peers.

 
 

What if it’s a dinner jacket like Captian Stubing wears? Does it start buttoned and work its way open as the night progresses?

All this formal wear etiquette is making me mental.

 
 

And lo and behold, he’s doing it from the GOP. Thus confirming my assessment that while there is such a thing as a black racist, the only ones who have any impact are Republicans.

So howcome all the white whores on Fox don’t point at this fucking racist douche and say “SEE SEE THERE THE REEL RASISTS!”?

Gee. I wonder why.

This West guy makes me want to break stuff.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Otherwise, kill it with fire.

I don’t think the last double-breasted jacket I owned (from the 70s) would burn too well—it looked pretty flame-retardant.

Seriously, they still make double-breasted jackets?

 
 

Seriously, they still make double-breasted jackets?

Making them again – but not the kind you’re used to. These are lightweight, typically 4 on 1 or 6 on 1 jackets that fit very tightly to the torso. These aren’t doormen’s or banker’s jackets, and they look fantastic on slightly smaller (but not short) dudes with slim waists and wide but not overly muscular shoulders. Taller guys with similar builds can probably get away with it but it takes a bit moar élan.

 
 

I once heard of a birdwatcher who claimed he had seen a double-breasted seersucker.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ DKW:

So is that a yes or a no on the pinstriped bell-bottoms to go with them?

 
El Manquécito
 

he had seen a double-breasted seersucker.

Jeeves positively reeled in horror.

 
 

and they look fantastic on slightly smaller (but not short) dudes with slim waists and wide but not overly muscular shoulders.

mmmmm…tell us more…

 
 

I believe I have stated my opinion on teh double breasted suit before

letterman must annoy the crap out of you…

 
 

letterman must annoy the crap out of you…

Regardless of his attire, yes.

 
 

Are you kidding? There is NOTHING finer than a man in grey flannel double-breasted suit. NOTHING. I’d add pics but my camera went south.

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

As the epitome of taste, I must say that I’ve always been fond of the Trapper John McIntyre horizontal pinstripe suit. Also, I am flabbergasted that teh Google cannot readily provide me with a picture that I can link to.

 
 

Where’s Mark F with the links?

 
 

actor212 said

you are quite correct in calling me on that. Were I sober when expressing that opinion I should have not been so weak kneed. Now that I am no longer mellowed by booze (though such situation is hoped to be quite temporary, fleeting at worst) I shall state my true opinion the law: Fasten those fucking buttons you git.

 
 

Lease let me clarify: I was making no reference to Letterman in my earlier comment.

 
 

There is NOTHING finer than a man in grey flannel double-breasted suit

especially if he’s wearing a touch of ‘grey flannel’…

 
 

Lease let me clarify: I was making no reference to Letterman in my earlier comment.

i knew that…dave does not favor grey…

 
 

I was reminded by the Daily Show (or perhaps Colbert) last night that this
blog has not recently linked to santorum. We regret the oversight.

 
El Manquécito
 

Letterman? That’s somebody on TV right?

 
 

One of the guys who sang “can’t take my eyes off of you?”

 
El Manquécito
 

Thanks tig, that was good.

 
 

Republican calculus:

So with the Palin-Trump summit meeting, we got an indication of who she is — and, I hasten to add, it’s not only a negative indication, even for those of us who are unimpressed with Trump. Sure, on the negative side, she’s saying, I’m impressed with Donald Trump. Not a good sign in a potential president. But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I’m impressed with Donald Trump — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual? And that, I think, shows a level of comfort with herself that we would like a president to have.

 
 

“Alec Baldwin keeps pulling that crap on 30 Rock, as if he wasn’t detestable enough.”

Eh? Howso?

 
 

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I killed that puppy and drank its blood — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I chiseled the mark of the beast into my daughter’s head — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I’ll shit in your cereal bowl and make you eat it — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

 
 

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I dragged my Down Syndrome kid around the country and put him on display like some kind of insane trophy — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

 
 

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I completely destroyed the election hopes of John McCain — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

Why no.

 
 

and they look fantastic on slightly smaller (but not short) dudes with slim waists and wide but not overly muscular shoulders.

Well fuck. I guess I’ll be burning my only suit. It’s not like I wear it anyway. Is there an etiquette to burning the suit? Some sort of serene and dignified ritual, perhaps? Is use of an accelerant acceptable?

 
 

Is there an etiquette to burning the suit?

You have to paint a flag on it first. DUH.

 
 

” you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?”

So THAT’S why Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.

 
 

Mr. West Coast MSM Intellectual has a sad.

 
 

So THAT’S why Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.

You mean the time with the gun or during the job interview for Chief of Staff?

 
 

Random thoughts on Weiner…

1.) if that’s your real wang, well…good for you!
2.) if the girl is legal THERE IS NO STORY and who fucking CARES?

 
 

To the millions of people in America who look at Donald Trump and say, “Wow, what an impressive guy, I really look up to him and wish I could be more like him,”

During those foggy years when I was consuming lots and lots of controlled substances. No pun intended.

 
 

Is there an etiquette to burning the suit?

I’d take it off first.

 
 

“controlled substances”

Substance can’t be controlled!!!

 
 

“I’d take it off first”

Pearl-clutcher

 
 

Pearl-clutcher

I like to think of myself as “practical.”

 
 

Oh, and how could I have missed it:

Burning the suit.

 
 

‘“I’d take it off first”

Pearl-clutcher’

That reminds me of the time I took the stray cat that adopted us to the vet to get legal. He bit the vet’s helper, and the vet came out to the waiting room to tell me the news: “Well, you got two choices. We either hold him for observation for 10 days or we cut his head off and send it to be tested.”

 
 

Whoah. Your only suit is a double breasted?!?!

 
 

That reminds me of the time I took the stray cat that adopted us to the vet to get legal. He bit the vet’s helper, and the vet came out to the waiting room to tell me the news: “Well, you got two choices. We either hold him for observation for 10 days or we cut his head off and send it to be tested.”

Sarah Palin BIT ME!

 
 

Whoah. Your only suit is a double breasted?!?!

Was double breasted. It’s on fire now.

(Kidding — it’ll go in the Goodwill pile, or to a suitable homeless person).

I think I’ve worn it once, so it’s not a big loss. It’s awesome to know I evidently looked like a tool.

 
El Manquécito
 

Whoah. Your only suit is a double breasted?!?!

Once again, Jeeves and I reeled in horror.

 
 

Sarah Palin BIT ME!

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I completely bit tsam — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

 
 

you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

Nooooo…..not so long as we can cut….

I can’t even say it in jest.

 
 

Not like a tool, like a toy. Double breasted suits on short guys make them look a bit like dolls. Too much going on with not enough space for it to occur. Then again, it does depend on the suit.

If you are only going to have one suit, it should be teh ur-suit (note NOT fur-suit). Single breasted, two button, centre venting, notch lapel. In navy blue. Pinstripe is optional, but for one suit? Not recommended. Pants should break slightly when your wearing your go-to dress shoes. Tailored is preferred, but again something that fits a little looser is more versatile for teh one-suit guy.

Context, however is king. Teh reason for getting teh cookie-cutter suit is that teh one-suit dude only wears his suit on/to occasions where he must. i.e. teh purpose and reason for it is to fit in with everyone else and not draw attention to oneself. If that’s not your situation and you nevar have to wear suits, but want one for a fun and frivilous way of shocking your friends and family or wev teh reason you have is then you may as well keep teh double-breasted.

 
 

not draw attention to oneself

Or rather not draw attention to what one is wearing. i.e. teh ur-suit is a great interview suit because then teh HR person just checks off the “clothing acceptable” box right away.

 
 

“teh ur-suit (note NOT fur-suit)”

oh, rats…. : )

(btw, am I the only one that thinks the no-vent look is toolish?)

 
 

But, on the positive side, she’s saying, Yeah, I’m impressed with Donald Trump — you got a problem with that, Mr. East Coast MSM Intellectual?

Coasties HATE Heartland folks like Trump. I bet he can’t show his face in New York OR LA!!

I’d take it off first.

That’s not etiquette, that’s logistics. Or strategery, I get confused. Etiquette requires a sign to warn oncomers, “Cuidado, en llamas,” asking to make sure people don’t mind before you light up, and obeying “no smoking jacket” placards when choosing a location.

 
 

Well, I wasn’t saying nobody cheats on teh hot wife, but it can make it a bit less likely.

Also that he seems to have plenty of fawning groupies closer to home, so… Seattle? Riiiiight.

 
El Manquécito
 

you may as well keep teh double-breasted

If you already have enough friends and a substantial private income, well, perhaps.

Likewise with the two button. I’m sure actor212Tintin will agree that in the corridors of finance a 2 button is seen as frivolous and not serious. If you can only use one suit hie yee to JPress or BrooksBros and get a real one. 3. It will pay. We don’t make the rules we just observe them. {/Jeeves}

 
 

Likewise with the two button. I’m sure actor212Tintin will agree that in the corridors of finance a 2 button is seen as frivolous and not serious. If you can only use one suit hie yee to JPress or BrooksBros and get a real one.

What, really? No. Two button is classic. Three button varies in popularity from year to year (although nothing like teh double-breasted which fads in and fads out from decade to decade).

I just checked teh Brooks Brother suits page and it’s fulla two buttons. It looks like JPress doesn’t even carry a three button.

Trust me on this – there is nothing moar uniform than a navy blue single breasted centre vent two button suit.

 
 

At 5’7″ and 140lbs, I probably look like a kid trying to play dress up in any suit.

 
 

On suits – I know nothing about them so do you guys have any advice for a one suit guy who needs a new one? Where is a good place to get one and how much should I spend? Thanks.

 
 

And I see DKW answered my question. Thanks. So Brooks Bros. is the place to go?

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

At 5’7? and 140lbs, I probably look like a kid trying to play dress up in any suit.

Wow, exactly my stats. I and I look like a kid playing dressup in pretty much anything other than jeans & t-shirt.

 
 

Pinstripe is optional, but for one suit?

Hm, I think a subtle pinstripe is good. It adds a teeny bit of interest. Slate grey works too, I do believe, and it better for some complexions. I think it’s a little more chic, too.

 
 

Loath pinstripes. I think they make everyone look like a pimp.

 
 

One suit. I’m assuming you’re intending on this being your multi-functional wedding, funeral, interview, dinner party suit.

How much to spend? Caveat – numbers based on teh market here in LEAFS SUCK.

As a one-suit guy, I’m also assuming that you aren’t wearing the one suit all that much. Like once a year. Or less. In which case it doesn’t make sense to blow much on it. You can get teh ur-suit anywhere. $100 to $200 is teh range for teh classic new “I don’t like suits – I’m wearing this because I have to” suit. And yes, that’s a lot for what is essentially a cheap suit – but there’s a price premium on convenience. That said, the place to go is the easiest to reach department store – because the whole point is not to be bothered too much with suit shopping.

If you have time, you can do much better by checking second-hand stores. OBS’ suit was worn once! Or outlet stores, you can do okay there too. Then, and here is teh important part – blow some of the cash you saved by having the thing tailored to fit. Sure it’s a concession to actually caring about teh suit – but it makes a huge difference. Unless you are built like a department store mannequin. Tailoring (plus dry clean) might run you as much as fifty bucks, but it’ll probably be less.

So total cost should be fifty to a hundred (maybe more, maybe less – depends on the stores in your area), plus a day of shopping and a trip to the cleaners. What’ll break the bank is shirts, ties and accessories.

Option 3 is to book a trip to Hong Kong and get something bespoke for ridiculously low prices (get the second pair of pants too). Then get fat on dim sum at ridiculously high prices and have to have another suit custom made for you.

 
 

The one-suit man has only one suit to wear and thus needs it to work at funerals. Slate grey is sub-optimal.

Another note – I’m in LEAFS SUCK. Sure it sometimes gets warm up here, but it’s generally cool enough that you can get away with a dark suit for any occassion. There is the occassional summer wedding where you might wish for something lighter coloured.

Also, I noticed that I didn’t mention material. Wool or wool-blend. Medium weight. Again, works great in the frigid northlands but YMMV.

 
 

Brooks Bros. is good for suits if you’re very Anglo-looking. I’m swarthy, so preppy-type clothes don’t work so well. My one suit is a dark grey wool Donna Karan with vaguely Italian lines. It’s getting old and the three-button thing apparently is out now, so I’m in the market. My main rule with suits, apart from finding a brand/style that works with your ethnicity and body type: Don’t cheap out. Spend the money (less than $1000, but more than $200).

 
 

“S. cerevisiae said,
June 1, 2011 at 20:26

On suits – I know nothing about them so do you guys have any advice for a one suit guy who needs a new one? Where is a good place to get one and how much should I spend? Thanks.”

Saville Row. Whatever it takes.

 
 

There is the occassional summer wedding where you might wish for something lighter coloured.

I have decided that, if I have to attend an outdoor summer wedding, I will wear a sundress and a pair of Doc Martens. I’m man enough to pull off wearing a sundress, and my calves are fantastic.

 
 

I will wear a sundress and a pair of Doc Martens

Shave or wax? Ooops, I apologize for not realizing who I was talking to.

 
 

The double breasted jacket has never been nor will ever be out of style. Hey if you can’t trust the lifelong clothes horse fag on such matters go fuck yourself. Like paisley ties, Harris tweed sportcoats and wingtips, some things are eternal.

 
 

I will wear a sundress and a pair of Doc Martens.

Flats are a good choice. There is nothing worse than sinking into the soft ground all night after you drank enough that balancing completely on the ball of your foot is a dangerous proposition. Bad for your shoes, too.

 
 

my calves are fantastic.

So, try the veal?

 
 

I fondly recall when, at 14 years old, mom took me to Pittsburgh (3 hour drive) to go clothes shopping and got me my first double breasted grey flannel suit. I have never since been without one.

Yeah, I’m 5’11” and change, 30 inch waist, 165 lbs. and very western euro looking.

 
 

“There is nothing worse than sinking into the soft ground all night after you drank enough that balancing completely on the ball of your foot is a dangerous proposition”

Note to self: When yard needs areating, hold outdoor party. Required footwear: stilettos.

 
 

Has teh Donaldee yet revealed that the PENIS in question is Carl’s? Tintin’s? Arnold’s?

 
 

Now it makes sense. They didn’t even have to hack it.

Fucking Blartblart. What a dick.

And can the rest of the media please stop taking anything he says seriously?

 
 

The double breasted jacket has never been nor will ever be out of style.

Allow me to correct myself. Double breasted is indeed a standard and classic cut of suit. It has been around forever and is eternal and traditional.

Also, depending on what decade it is, either nobody wears them or everybody wears them.

 
 

2.) if the girl is legal THERE IS NO STORY and who fucking CARES?

Apparently, a LARGE NUMBER of wingnuts really want to know MOAR about large wieners.

Google doesn’t do it for them anymore.

 
 

At 5’7? and 140lbs,

I hate you. How do you perform as a Beer Snob and maintain that frame?

 
 

I think they make everyone look like a pimp.

you say that like it’s a bad thing.

 
 

It’s the new “Tora! Tora! Tora!”
~

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

VULVA!
VULVA!
VULVA!

 
 

OK, WHICH ONE OF YOU REPROBATES IS ATRIOS???

 
 

Huh huh huh!

zrm said “reprobates”.
~

 
 

Is there an etiquette to burning the suit?

I was told that there would be smoking of reefers.

 
 

“zombie rotten mcdonald said,
June 1, 2011 at 21:39

At 5’7? and 140lbs,

I hate you. How do you perform as a Beer Snob and maintain that frame?

More to the point, how does he handle that Thruxton? Leg extenders?

 
 

Boyhowdy what a random thread.

 
 

When you burn the jacket to black it makes fine Eton.

 
 

lurking furry said,
teh ur-suit (note NOT fur-suit)”
oh, rats…. : )

Not a common choice for one’s animal identity but I do not judge.

 
 

At 5’7? and 140lbs,

I hate you. How do you perform as a Beer Snob and maintain that frame?

i hate him…5’7″ is my dream height…

 
 

The correct way to burn a jacket is to makeit a blazer.

 
 

Also, depending on what decade it is, either nobody wears them or everybody wears them.

when teh son was a jr. in high school instead of renting a tux for prom, we went with buying a suit…he wanted a black, double breasted chalk stripe but we ended up with the single breasted, two button navy blue w/a subtle pinstripe…such a good call on my part, eh? we didn’t break the bank on it and he now has a classic suit that will get him through pretty much anything…

 
 

Get this strait: don’t give me any flak.

 
 

I’m teh same height as PupMax. 5’11” and not quite enough to justify rounding up. I’ve got ten pounds and 10% moar waistline though. I’ve always thought that if I could drop 10 pounds then I could pull off that slim and snug fitting double-breasted.

 
 

The correct way to burn a jacket is to makeit a blazer.

this was painful to read even tho i did laff out loud…

 
 

Also, not very euro looking.

 
 

His puns however, they don’t suit me at all. They are teh worsted.

 
 

Get this strait: don’t give me any flak.

yeah, well frock you!

 
 

Stop jerkin me around!

 
 

my head is about ready to start poplin…

 
 

. I’ve always thought that if I could drop 10 pounds then I could pull off that slim and snug fitting double-breasted.

if you dropped ten pounds we might enjoy your pulling it off.

 
 

Can’t find a jacket pun? Look closer, there’s one Nehru.

 
 

Argyll! I kilt the thread.

 
 

Somebody called for me?

 
 

there’s one Nehru.

damn your eyes! i have been racking my brain for a pun for this word…

 
 

Follow my lead.

 
 

as a woman, i am sari for this whole conversation…

 
 

Follow my lead.

stop skirting the issue…

 
 

“damn your eyes! i have been racking my brain for a pun for this word…”

I had it up my sleeve.

 
 

“. 5’11? and not quite enough to ”

Yer 5′ 11″? Neat.

Confession time: I like tall and tallish guys. I can’t help it!

 
 

Though I did have to tailor it to fit.

 
 

“June 1, 2011 at 22:27

as a woman, i am sari for this whole conversation…”

D’oh! Ok, that was a great bad pun.

 
 

wingtips

You must be kidding.

Really. My shoe shopping takes place at K-Mart or Payless Shoe Source, but I haven’t seen a pair of freaking wingtips for who knows how long, in a store or on a humanoid.

 
 

Screw all y’all. I’m 5’9″ and 19(mumble) pounds. A double breasted suit looks like I put on a barrel. I’m also old enough that wearing untucked shirts looks pretentious.

I’ll just waddle off into the corner, you have fun with your “good looks” and your “puns.”

 
 

‘Though a bit of research reminded me I used to have a pair similar to these. Not nearly as expensive, of course, & eventually the uppers (whatever they were made of) peeled apart.

 
 

I’ll just waddle off into the corner, you have fun with your “good looks” and your “puns.”

i snorted whilst shoving some chocolate in my mouth…

 
 

‘Though a bit of research reminded me I used to have a pair similar to these.

back in the mid-90s when i was hot and happening, i used to wear men’s wing tips all the time…our local thrift shops were a freaking bonanza for all types of vintage men’s wear…

 
 

Confession time: I like tall and tallish guys. I can’t help it!

although at this time, i venture to bet you are madly in love with a short and smallish guy?

 
 

Pupienus said,

June 1, 2011 at 21:59

“zombie rotten mcdonald said,
June 1, 2011 at 21:39

At 5’7? and 140lbs,

I hate you. How do you perform as a Beer Snob and maintain that frame?

More to the point, how does he handle that Thruxton? Leg extenders?

Re: weight — I run. A lot. Mostly in the woods with lots of hills.

As to the Thruxton – I can touch the balls* of both feet if I scootch forward on the seat all the way. It’s only really noticeable trying to park — I can put one foot flat at stop lights. One bonus though — since I’m light and aerodynamic, the bike goes faster, so there’s that.

Also too: I’m happy to hear I can keep my wingtips!

*not a euphemism

 
 

and oh, yeah i forgot earlier:
clutching the pearl…

 
 

“although at this time, i venture to bet you are madly in love with a short and smallish guy?”

Guilty as charged! I can’t stop kissing him!

WC, you are awesome and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

 
 

I am happy to see a pun thread here that doesn’t involve fish or baked goods.

I had started to lapel you all. Although I know you have to vent. So what the hell, once more, dear friends, into the breeches!

 
 

Guilty as charged! I can’t stop kissing him!

Wait until he doesn’t want to hold your hand while walking.

 
 

Whale Chowder is not awesome.

 
 

dear friends
glad to know you don’t think we’re all duds…

Wait until he doesn’t want to hold your hand while walking

shhhhh!!! don’t tell her about the heartbreak of motherhood right away…she’ll find out soon enough

 
 

Small guys are nifty because you can beat them up.

 
 

I predict the clothing and fashion discussion twill become a classic. I’ve also enjoyed the wingtip spats.

 
 

Yeah!

“Whale Chowder is not awesome”

Well, not ACTUAL whale chowder.

 
 

Any pun I added now would be unfashionably late — I don’t cotton to lateness.

 
 

Small guys are nifty because you can beat them up.

You have to catch me first…

 
 


Small guys are nifty because you can beat them up.”

True, but I still try not to beat up babies.

 
 

shhhhh!!! don’t tell her about the heartbreak of motherhood right away

I just want her to brace herself.

 
 

shhhhh!!! don’t tell her about the heartbreak of motherhood right away

Also, you are hateful toward fathers who like to hold their kids hands too.

You are the worsted.

 
 

Loath pinstripes. I think they make everyone look like a pimp.

What if I AM a pimp?

 
 

Well, not ACTUAL whale chowder.

I was actually picking a fight.

 
 

“What if I AM a pimp?”

Then you need to buy a low rider and paint “WHITE CHOCOLATE” on it immediately.

 
 

I don’t want to be forced to cuff anybody.

 
 

Maybe I should just button my lip.

 
 

You know that N__B guy? Sometimes, I suspect he is inseam.

 
 

This whole fashion pun thing is pants.

 
 

I hope this giant Weiner scandal brings down Breitbart, but of corset won’t.

 
 

And this, ladies and gents, is how all media should treat every politician that tries this shit.

No shit–agreed.

Conversely, I liked how Biden handled a psycho right wing “journalist’s” rhetorical question–he started laughing and said “is this a joke? HAHAHAHA”

 
 

I was hemming and hawing about posting a pun.

 
the conspiratist
 

Threading the needle

 
 

Then you need to buy a low rider and paint “WHITE CHOCOLATE” on it immediately.

Ok I will.

 
 

I don’t want to be forced to cuff anybody.

Cuffin’ Zombeez!

Now that’s a newsletter I gots to have.

 
 

Posted 6/1/11 2:01 p.m.

WLS Radio’s Monica DeSantis
CHICAGO (WLS) – Conservative commentator Andrew Breitbart told WLS Radio’s Cisco Cotto Show, he wants to be exonerated in the “Weinergate” story.

Breitbart says he and his website, BigGovernment.com, was under attack for 72 hours by New York Congressman Anthony Weiner who accused Breitbart of hacking into his Twitter account and posting a lewd picture of Weiner.

LISTEN: Andrew Breitbart joins The Cisco Cotto Show

That picture showed a man’s bulging underpants although Weiner has not confirmed or denied the picture is of him. The original tweet was posted on Weiner’s Twitter account and then posted on Breitbart’s website via Dan Wolfe who follows Weiner on Twitter.

The lewd picture was sent to a female college student in Seattle.

Breitbart thinks the picture was only meant for her but, by mistake, sent to all of Weiner’s followers including Wolfe who retweeted the photo.

In the meantime, Weiner spokesman Dave Arnold says Weiner believes it was a prank but that the Democratic congressman has retained a lawyer to discuss any criminal or civil actions.

And now for the victimhood phase…

 
 

I hope this giant Weiner scandal brings down Breitbart, but of corset won’t.

Nope. Brightfart will continue to pull the wool over people’s eyes.

 
 

But y’know, I asked a question about footwear w-a-y upthread and nobody responded to it. So I’ll try again:

Cowboy boots. For them, against them–as wearer and/or fashion observer? Is square-toe acceptable? Weigh in on color and materials? Heels?

Not interested in Wellingtons or other low-cuts. I mean boots that come up about mid-calf.

Discussion of books must address context…the rest of the ensemble. Here’s my context: Utilitarian, wear-most-of-the-time boots.

Here’s my context: I don’t go into a professional workplace anymore. I never go to garden or dinner parties. As for formal attire, the last banquet / ball I attended was 16 years ago. So forget beautiful decorative tooling, okay? (Plus I’m a very poor man, living on a fixed income.)

So let me clarify my context: I’m talking about utilitarian, wear-every-day boots. The only concession to style is

As fashion only, they would be extravagently tooled. But I’m not thinking of–nor could I afford–expensive and

 
 

Like Ali, he’s just bobbin and weaving.

 
 

Funny–seems like anytime you stumble upon a giant pile of stankity ass shit, you’ll find Breitbart driving away in an empty dumptruck.

 
 

‘boots’ (Actually, ‘books’ works here, too, in a way…)

 
 

Cowboy boots. For them, against them–as wearer and/or fashion observer? Is square-toe acceptable? Weigh in on color and materials? Heels?

I wore them when Sebastian Bach wore them and I looked fucking GOOD in them.

 
 

Fenvick has been terminated. Asta la line feed, baybee.

 
 

I will wear boobs anytime they’re offered to me.

 
 

“Ok I will.”

Pics. And, btw, if I ever saw those pics, it would prolly make my year.

 
 

I will wear boobs anytime they’re offered to me.

How titillating!

 
 

To answer seriously, and to hog the fuck out of this thread:

The ONLY cowboy boots I would wear are the ones with the snubbed off toe, and the straps meeting at the metal rings on the sides. I believe they’re called harness boots.

Also acceptable–Army tanker boots–combat boots that had leather straps instead of laces.

Animal skin/animal print. NO
Squiggly lines and stuff: NO
Pointy toes: NO
Anything other than black: NO

 
 

I hate cowboy boots and like wingtips, but what the fuck do I know about fashion?

This discussion is becoming a bit threadbare. May I pleat the case that we crease these silly puns?

 
 

Pics. And, btw, if I ever saw those pics, it would prolly make my year.

Follow me on twitter for other “interesting” pics.

 
 

he wants to be exonerated in the “Weinergate” story.

Two fucking words.

Dan Rather

The man was hounded from one of the more distinguished careers in journalism because he fell for one bullshit story.

Blartblart spouts guano at a rate to embarrass the Deepwater Horizon and wants to skate?

Fuck you.

Also, see my link above for how ’twas done.

 
 

Also editing fail. Left three fragments at the end instead of blowing them away.

Fortunately, my Special Exemptions make such errors meaningless.

 
 

Also, see my link above for how ’twas done.

Read that — thanks for the link. Pretty weird that “yfrog” or whatever the fuck lets you send a photo to a completely unsecured e-mail address and not only publishes the photo directly to the web, but also sends a tweet on your behalf about it. I wonder if there are any prominent wingers with yfrog accounts…?

Their yfrog address, an internet cafe, a fresh new yahoo e-mail account, and a few scat-porn pictures would be an interesting combo.

 
 

Also, see my link above for how ’twas done.

Saw. Was disgusted.

Funny how it works on the right.
Accuracy: No need
Integrity: No need
Intelligence: No need
Honest analysis: No need
Truth: No need

Poutrage, butthurt, irrational phobias, stupidity, irrationality, hypocricy: YES! Much love.

These people think they’re carrying the torch for some lost art of journalism. I’d laugh if it weren’t so fucking depressing.

 
 

I wonder if there are any prominent wingers with yfrog accounts…?

I wonder how painfully simple it would be to do our bestie Blightbart a square and open an account for him…?

Blightbart: GOATSE FOR ALL MY BITCHES! H8RS UNITE

 
 

Pretty weird that “yfrog” or whatever the fuck lets you send a photo to a completely unsecured e-mail address and not only publishes the photo directly to the web, but also sends a tweet on your behalf about it.

For the moment…

 
 

I believe they’re called harness boots.

Sigh.

I used to live in those. Haven’t had a pair in years, though.

Haven’t had a bike in years, either, so…

 
 

I used to live in those. Haven’t had a pair in years, though.

I don’t ride motorcycles. But I do love those boots. From my punk rocker daze in the 80s.

 
 

Their yfrog address, an internet cafe, a fresh new yahoo e-mail account, and a few scat-porn pictures would be an interesting combo.

One might in fact wonder if Blartyblart has a yfrog.

Strictly in an academic sense.

 
 

I don’t ride motorcycles… From my punk rocker daze in the 80s.

The two coincided for me.

 
 

Good lord.

Tony, yer doin it rong.

 
 

I used to live in those

You must have been small!

Note to Fenwick… you’ve got the blog up, now POST SOMETHING!!! Got a spot on the ‘roll for ya, I just need some posts to comment on!

 
 

Tony, yer doin it rong.

I dunno, I thought this was pretty funny:

“I’m not sure it rises — no pun intended — to that level,”

“This is part of the problem with the way this has progressed, and one of the reasons I was perhaps, forgive me, a little stiff yesterday.”

 
 

I do like those motorcycle boots — I need to get a new pair actually.

And for those of you who don’t or “used to” ride — this would go quite nicely with those boots.

 
 

Tony, yer doin it rong.

As long as Breitbart gets slammed with subpoenas, Weiner can afford to let it all hang out.

 
 

The original tweet was posted on Weiner’s Twitter account

The liberal-biased MSM state this as a fact, because Breitbart says Dan Wolfe received a copy.

 
 

“Follow me on twitter for other “interesting” pics.”

OMG! Folks, we’ve found the mystery wiener!

 
 

And for those of you who don’t or “used to” ride — this would go quite nicely with those boots.

Darn, I was hoping for a beer recommendation!

 
 

Regarding boots for Fenwick (good band name), I think winklepickers would do the trick.

 
 

HERES SOME OF THE THINGS RECENTLY DONE

VALVES ADJUSTED
BRAKE CALIPERS, MASTERS AND PADS ALL NEW
NEW FORK SEALS
CARBS BOTH REBUILT AND TUNED NEW AIR FILTERS
NEW CLUCH
ALL OILS CHANGED AND FLUSHED
NEW IGNITION
NEW INSTERMENT BULBS
NEW WHEEL BEARINGS AND SWINGARM BUSHING

Hey, you could probably ride it for two or three weeks before it needs that shit again. Seriously, why bother with INSTERMENT bulbs when the Prince of Darkness pretty much guarantees they won’t work anyway? Honestly though, I think it might be a fake – there’s no oil spot on the ground underneath.

I miss my old Norton.

 
 

the ones with the snubbed off toe, and the straps meeting at the metal rings on the sides. I believe they’re called harness boots.

Frye boots, you mean. NFW.

Never had/worn a pair, but I’ve been told that pointy-toed cowboy boots are quite comfortable. (If I could afford them, or needed anything besides a pair each of hiking boots, flip-flops, & black dime loafers [inflation] for funerals, I’d get a pair.)

Myself, I have a pair of engineer/motorcycle boots bought at Sears over 30 yrs. ago, which have held up quite well, probably because I’ve never gone motorcycling in them, just walked through piss-filled punk bar bathrooms.

Harness ‘cycle boots? I think NOT. One adjustable strap. Do young people know nothing?

 
 

Darn, I was hoping for a beer recommendation!

Speedway Stout would work with those boots.

Honestly though, I think it might be a fake – there’s no oil spot on the ground underneath.

They probably kept rolling it forward for each new photo. But hey, the oil all over your motorcycle boots will give you “street cred”

And the spelling in craigslist ads is awesome. Actually, maybe it’s just vintage bike folks — at the recent vintage meet, one of the vendors was selling t-shirts. The opening “line” of the top of the shirt:

“You know your a motorcyclist if:”

There were at least three more type-os in the list itself. This was the second year they were selling the shirts.

 
 

Do young people know nothing?

Yes.

Proper motorcycle boots.

 
 

Proper motorcycle boots.

I think those cost more than my first bike.

I ride a Triumph Thruxton, with Bohn body armor under kevlar-lined jeans and a leather jacket. I’d look ridiculous wearing those boots. Whatever happened to fashion? Harumph.

I was actually thinking more along the lines of these for my new pair.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

If you live in Seattle, or San Francisco, or any place with hills—and cannot arrange to always walk uphill—do not buy pointed-toe boots. Just trust me on this. You do not want to walk downhill in them!

 
 

And the spelling in craigslist ads is awesome. Actually, maybe it’s just vintage bike folks — at the recent vintage meet, one of the vendors was selling t-shirts. The opening “line” of the top of the shirt:

“You know your a motorcyclist if:”

I don’t see the problem. If it was a vintage meet it’s all about bikes from the days of your, innit?

 
 

Spectator supporter,

Last call! (Not for a drink—though I’ll be tempted to buy you one if you help us reach our goal!) Alas, it appears we may end up short of our $50,000 fundraising target by today’s deadline. Perhaps you could help?

At The American Spectator, we do our best to provide thoughtful, erudite analysis — rarely offered anymore by the usual 24/7, churn-and-burn media outlets. Your financial support will help us to continue to promote individual liberty, free markets, and limited government.

Thanks again for all that you do. You are a patriot.
Yours Faithfully,

R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.
Founder & Editor in Chief

 
 

Shorter Ron Paul: People who attend “radical political speeches” should be thrown in jail!

You are entitled to freedom of speech. There’s nothing in the Amendment guaranteeing your freedom to listen.

 
 

M. Bouffant said,

June 2, 2011 at 1:25

Spectator supporter,…

It’s like they’re just caricatures of themselves now, isn’t it? Criminy.

Fuckit, I’m going across the street for a beer.

 
 

Your financial support will help us to continue to promote individual liberty, free markets, and limited government.

Is it still called “going Galt” when it’s not deliberate?

 
 

tsam: Harness boots! That was the name for them!

Fenwick fashion

I wore my black-leather Army combat boots–not issue, but purchased Corcorans–after I became a civilian again. Good winter boots! (I wonder, do troopers still wear Corcorans…) Here I was going–oddly enough–for a tank commander look (but from WWII).

Rest of the ensemble: Olive drab field jacket….still with the name tape (I purchased threaded) and the Seventh Army shoulder patch. I wore Army- issue back-buckle field gloves with olive-drab knitted inserts. Blue jeans inevitable. In very cold weather or snow, I added a biege knitted scarf, tied like an MP’s cravat, the scarf ends within the jacket.

But the key was the headgear: I found a black leather ‘Greek fisherman’s hat’ with a nifty black braided band above the bill. It was excellent at holding shape: I pulled up the front and made it into a vaguely Wehrmacht peaked hat.

It also worked as a Commando or Partisan rig, because of nifty prop: I carried my papers (including a hard-covered tablet pad) in a thin, black, flexible handle-less portfolio case. The case was long enough to accomodate legal-size [I don’t use], and the zipper-flap extended about four inches. Tucked under the arm, it suggested a submachine gun with a short barrel.

I did not have a car, so I walked everywhere. I moved fast, counted cadence in my head.

Weird huh? But I’ll guarantee this: It was very unusual garb for an older student at Hampshire College, and for a graduate student and TA at George Mason.

I’v always enjoyed dramatic–yet mostly utilitarian–costuming. That was one of the very best things about the 60’s. Freaky and funky and fun. Trippey paisleys were the best (but not my style).

Also fun with the 60’s wimmins. *wink-wink nudge-nudge*

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day
 

Eh? Howso?

I’m a bit too tired to recognise sarcasm right now. Do you really want me to point out all the specific ways in which Alec Baldwin has acted like a jackass in his personal life?

I have a black 3-piece suit (2 button, 2 vents), a grey suit (2 button, 1 vent), a grey suit with subtle white pinstripes (3 button, 1 vent), a dark blue suit with light blue pinstripes (2 button, 2 vents), and a dinner jacket/tuxedo (1 button, shawl collar, no vents obviously).

I also have 3 tweed jackets, and a bunch of odd jackets (of various cuts), trousers, and waistcoats.

I am 5’11 barefoot, by the way.

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day
 

Oh, and hats: I have several flat caps (but I don’t wear them very often), a black fedora (an actual fedora, not a hipster trilby), a greenish Tyrolean, a black bowler (really classic one too), and as of today, a black homburg.

 
 

I ride a Triumph Thruxton,

So now I get the ‘Thruxton’ ref from up-thread somewhere. Thanks.

Also for tsam: I agree with everything on boots guidelines….except the black-only injunction.

I wore dark chocolate brown; it worked perfectly with my step-father’s brown, beautifully tailored Army (Air Corps) WWII dress coat. (Not an exact match in shade, but the two browns worked wonderfully together Padded shoulders, silk lining, crisp pleats, double vents, and elaborate brass buttons all over: cuffs, pockets, epaulettes, four down the front.

But I always wore the coat unbuttoned…More like a hussar’s look. I was going for the bold Cavalier general. Had shoulder-length black hair which played into the looked well.

((Have I totes killed the thread?))

 
 

((Have I totes killed the thread?))

The serge in clothing puns put it on life support.

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day
 

I also have 3 pairs of round sunglasses.

 
 

Spear: Sounds like a thoughtful, well-chosen closet. Also special thanx for your multiple-verse contributions to the Epic Pome.

I needs ta get some hats!

Slipping back into the shadows for awhile. I’ve enjoyed reading this thread, both serious comments on style … and whimsical rapid-fire clothing puns.

Outstanding pun, Looch. (I used a similar riff during Teh Surge in Iraq and later in Afghanistan. I suggested that serge was entirely too heavy for hot desert conditions. Recommended light cotton or seersucker.)

*back to the shadows again*

 
 

Tornado in Springfield, Mass. Is this typical in Mass.? I’d hate to scream “climate change” & be wrong.

 
 

Tornado in Springfield, Mass. Is this typical in Mass.? I’d hate to scream “climate change” & be wrong.

No, not typical. Pretty weird, in fact. I live north of there and it was a pretty impressive storm line that came through.

Tornadoes in MA? Not so much. Scream way.

 
 

Tornado in Springfield, Mass.

I believe that in Mass. it’s spelled “tomato.”

 
 

Didn’t really think it was typical.

Haven’t really had any weather to speak of in L.A. for a while.

 
 

Alas, it appears we may end up short of our $50,000 fundraising target by today’s deadline. Perhaps you could help?

I’m afraid any charity for R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. and company would block them from saving and acquiring property, and overshadow dreams of a promised future with a present despair born of poverty, violence and hopelessness.
~

 
 

Thanks again for all that you do. Youreare a patriot.

Fizzied for moar teabaggery.

 
 

I dunno, I thought this was pretty funny:

Sounds like a piss-take.

 
 

Tornado in Springfield, Mass. Is this typical in Mass.? I’d hate to scream “climate change” & be wrong.

I remember in, I want to say ’95, there were tornadoes in the NY/MA border area. There was one crazy-ass scar you could see from the Taconic the next day. Took a line of trees out about fifteen feet up, clean as you please.

It happens. Not often, but it happens.

 
Hey, it's just Alison
 

t The American Spectator, we do our best to provide thoughtful, erudite analysis — rarely offered anymore by the usual 24/7, churn-and-burn media outlets.

chum and bum?!? Isn’t that giving away a bit more about your personal life than we wish to know, matey?

 
 

Canucks win = my neighborhood is losing its shit.

 
 

I am 5’10 and back when I weighed 170 or so, i visited Bangkok. I had a double breasted suit made for me, it is made of rough silk and is electric blue. I saw a suit coat of that material in their window, and I realized my life would be incomplete without my own electric blue silk suit. I don’t even know how much it cost. I signed the credit card receipt without looking, and threw it away.

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day
 

So, what are Sadlies’ opinions on tie-width? Wide, medium, skinny?

 
 

The wide ones are harder to strangle with.

 
 

I don’t like ties that result in big tie knots.

Also, I feel the wide tie adds to the potential for a clownish look (already a danger in situations where one must wear a tie).
~

 
 

I believe that in Mass. it’s spelled “tomato.”

Jeez, I hated that Yes album.

 
 

“I don’t even know how much it cost. I signed the credit card receipt without looking, and threw it away.”

YOU THREW AWAY AN ELECTRIC BLUE SILK SUIT!!?!?!?!?!? FOOL!

 
 

I am 5’11 barefoot, by the way.

Oh yeah? Well, I’m 5’11” with socks on, bitch.

 
 

Oh yeah? Well, I’m 5’11? with socks on, bitch.

Shorty.

 
 

Also, wingtips are hot when styled correctly.

 
 

Fred Meyer sunglasses. I got TWO PRRRR

One pair is the pair I am able to find. There is always another pair lurking in the shadows of my apartment, taunting me.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,

June 2, 2011 at 5:13 (kill)

The wide ones are harder to strangle with.

wide or skinny, you’re tying it too tight if you can’t breathe.

 
 

Wingtips are hot when on fire as well.

 
 

wide or skinny, you’re tying it too tight if you can’t breathe.

If you’re strangling someone and you can’t breathe, you’re doing it wrong.

 
 

Wingtips are hot when on fire as well.

I suspect T&U knew that was coming.

 
 

If you’re strangling someone and you can’t breathe, you’re doing it wrong.

If I was better at constructing jokes, I would not have had to expect that one, either.

 
 

I’m just eating the scraps you big dawgs throw my way.

I’m happy in my role. Low expectations are SO easy to meet.

 
 

Has anyone picked up on the fact that THIS FUCKING GUY’S NAME IS WEINER?

 
 

Firsties?

 
 

whoa. I managed to annoy a ZOMBIE to death. I fucking RULE.

 
 

Shorty.

Oh yeah? How tall are you with your feet on?

 
 

Oh, and hats: I have several flat caps (but I don’t wear them very often), a black fedora (an actual fedora, not a hipster trilby), a greenish Tyrolean, a black bowler (really classic one too), and as of today, a black homburg.

Damn, I just can’t pull off a hat. Thickass hair no matter how short it’s cut makes it look…ridiculous. Can’t even wear a cap unless it’s a bit loose.

 
 

@T&U:

Your socks are untied!

 
 

Did you check? Did you look?

Hee hee hee

 
 

Did you check? Did you look?

Honestly, I read that as “united” and thought “My socks are revolting!”

 
 

Your socks are revolting. I can smell them through the internet.

Jesus-I stopped on hannity for a sec (not in my car, unfortunately) cuz I saw a graphic of big bird. Somehow hannity and his guests managed to establish a causal relationship between and trans prom queen Sam sesame street. Yeah, really.

 
 

There have been a number of “Elmo is a Commynist” type things of late. I suspect they’re trying to destroy the last part of public broadcasting that pretty much everyone can normally get behind. I mean, come on, Sesame Street? If you’re running scared from Big fucking Bird and checking under the bed for the Cookie Monster before you can fall asleep, there is something horribly, unfixably wrong with you. Well, that, or a fistfull of bad acid.

 
 

So, what are Sadlies’ opinions on tie-width? Wide, medium, skinny?

Silk ties make for quicker untying if you need to use the safe-word. Or so I hear from a friend.
Also, blue goes well with cyanotic hands and feet.

 
 

Whatsa “tie”?

 
 

Elmo is a commy. Poo, er, Po is a fag hag. Blinky or whatever the fuck its name was – oh, right, tinky winky, is a transgender HITLER. Bert and Ernie are working the radical homosexual agenda. And Burt Prelutsky is BEHIND ALL OF IT.

 
 

Will I ever sleep again?

 
 

Will I ever sleep again?

Yes, but you’ll be in a coffin

 
 

And Burt Prelutsky is BEHIND ALL OF IT.

Brain bleach, please? Somehow the image of Fatlutsky doggieing Elmo….

 
 

Failed to provide dimensions: When I adopted the Cavalier persona, I was 6’2″, @ 180. When I took up the Tank Commander identity, 6’2″, @ 190.

Now I am 6’2″ and medically qualify as ‘obese’. After I shed 70 lbs last year, at least I got rid of the adjective ‘morbidly’. Can I at least get some applause for that….?

Or a nifty medal. You all know how much I like insignia and nifty medals….

 
 

Will I ever sleep again?

No.

 
 

Wake up, everybody!!!!111one!
~

 
 

As per usual, I will give Fenwick a laurel, and hearty handshake.

 
 

Will I ever sleep again?

The phrase sleeps like a babby? Apparently it means two hours at a time, wake up screaming.

 
 

“N__B said,
June 2, 2011 at 11:44

Will I ever sleep again?

No.”

I disapprove of this answer but am too tired to quibble.

 
 

“The phrase sleeps like a babby? Apparently it means two hours at a time, wake up screaming.”

Two hours at a time? Luxury!

 
 

Whiskey. Eye dropper.

Just sayin’.

 
 

Two hours at a time? Luxury!

When Mini__B was your sprog’s age, Mrs__B was experimenting with the fancy swaddling method the nurse taught her. I found it worked better to simply roll Mini__B in the blanket like I was making a crepe.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

What is the collective opinion on dry suits? Mine is charcoal gray, streaked with rust from when I entered an underwater dive habitat, in a serviceable rubberized kevlar blend. I don’t feel it is dressy enough for formal events, but it is perfectly suited for most social occasions that are located under water.

 
 

What is the collective opinion on dry suits?

They are far less common than legal action related to drinking.

 
 

Two hours at a time? Luxury!

Actually, she’s sleeping four or five hours some nights now – so nyah nyah nyah!

OTOH, we’ve only just started discovering the joys of colic. Those long sleeps mean she is very well rested when she starts her tantrums.

 
 

@ VS. Nyquil. Miracle drug.

Don’t fucking look at me like that. I did this 3 times.

 
 

Bad news for you sleep-deprived: I honestly do not believe I have slept through an entire night since the birth of my first. She is now 37.

 
 

Oh yeah? How tall are you with your feet on?

Five foot- fifteen.

 
 

Wish would could tell you when you’ll sleep, but I had 3 daughters.

Oldest–took about 7-1/2 months before she slept through
Middle–nearly immediately (like a month or so)
Youngest–about 3 months.

The middle daughter was a sudden (and alarming/scary) thing. The other two it was a gradual change.

So, there’s that.

 
 

Five foot- fifteen.

Another mystical connection between us. I’m all teary-eyed.

 
 

Thanks for the insight, guys.

We call swaddling ” making a baby burrito.”

 
 

We call swaddling ” making a baby burrito.”

The brown bean sauce doesn’t come until you start him on solids. Before that, it’s more guac-like.

 
 

What is the collective opinion on dry suits?

If you must, but wetsuits are moar traditional. Note: only one wetsuit, unless you’re going to a GOP fundraiser or something.

 
 

You guys make parenthood sound *awesome*.

Why do you just lock the babby in the bathroom and put in some earplugs? That’s what I do when the cat won’t leave me alone.

 
 

Note: only one wetsuit, unless you’re going to a GOP fundraiser or something.

6-8 inch dildoes are considered traditional, but if you’re a larger man, you can get away with dildoes up to 12 inches. Black, navy, or “flesh” toned are a safe bet, but if you’re looking for a little extra flair, hot pink or other bright colors and even patterns are acceptable. Just remember–just as you want to have subtle eyes with a bold lip and vice versa, you want either to go big or bright, but not both, unless you want to look vulgar.

 
 

Let’s be honest here, guys. If its 12 inches, its gotta be black.

 
 

Why do you just,,,

Why do we? Well we need to do way instain mother, of course.

 
 

*don’t*. Fuck. Who wants to make me some more coffee?

 
 

Who wants to make me some more coffee?

Maybe Hated Cow-orker could steal you some.

 
 

If you must, but wetsuits are moar traditional.

dammit, Dragon-King, I was looking for the Mythbusters version of that! Get back on someone’s moms.

6-8 inch dildoes are considered traditional,

Now, I may be too vanilla on this, but I consider a 6′ 8″ dildo to be extreme.

 
 

I will wear boobs anytime they’re offered to me.

I’m knitting boobs RIGHT NOW. They were supposed to be Cs but are turning out DDs at least. Maybe instead of frogging them back I’ll just send you the Big Berthas and make a separate pair of Little Lulus for her.

 
 

Special for zrm. I know I should not tormat the zombie, but sometimes it hard to resist.

 
 

OTOH, we’ve only just started discovering the joys of colic.

Oh yeah. 20 years does help fog away the bad parts.

When our oldest got colicky, I’d put him in the stroller and take a long walk. This had two benefits: 1) got him out of the house so mom could catch a break, and 2) screaming babby isn’t so godawful outside. No walls to bounce the sound waves off of.

Eventually he’d get worn out and quit. Then we’d go home.

The good news was it didn’t last more’n a few weeks. Not much does at that stage.

 
 

Sorry about that last post, this page has some perscriptions at the bottom that might help.

 
 

Sorry about that last post, this page has some perscriptions at the bottom that might help.

going for that fourth bottle of wine will be hazardous.

 
 

re: colic

I’m now a total fanboi of Dr. Harvey Karp. It doesn’t really cure colic – she starts crying uncontrollably again if you put her down – but having a magical off button for babby meltdown is priceless.

 
 

It doesn’t really cure colic – she starts crying uncontrollably again if you put her down

See also Zantac.

 
 

Summary;

There have never been any inappropriate exchanges between Anthony Weiner and myself, including the tweet/picture in question, which had apparently been deleted before it reached me. I cannot answer the questions that I do not have the answers to. I am not sure whether or not this letter will alleviate any future harassment. I also do not have a clear understanding as to how or why exactly I am involved in this fiasco.

I do know that my life has been seriously impacted by speculation and faulty allegations. My reputation has been called into question by those who lack the character to report the facts.

 
 

There is no cure for colic, you must endure the crying.

I’m pretty sure it is preparing you for future battles with a petulant little shit who can walk and talk.

 
 

When our oldest got colicky, I’d put him in the stroller and take a long walk. This had two benefits: 1) got him out of the house so mom could catch a break, and 2) screaming babby isn’t so godawful outside. No walls to bounce the sound waves off of.

Haha, yes…

This reminds me of another joy of parenting: Disapproving glares and unsolicited advice from strangers at the store or wherever. Funny how they never realize that the best time in the world to be a condescending snot is when a screaming kid is grinding on mom and dad’s last fucking nerve. A few people have no idea how close they came to losing their lives.

 
 

A few people have no idea how close they came to losing their lives.

heh. In my vicinity, some DID.

 
 

Never glare at a zombie. I learned this lesson young. But then I had good parenting.

 
 

Tornado in Springfield, Mass. Is this typical in Mass.? I’d hate to scream “climate change” & be wrong.

i believe there have only been 55 tomatoes (counting today) in Mass. since 1950…last one was in 2008…

 
 

Yeah, but it snowed in D.C. this winter and Al Gore is fat and has a big house, so blarghity blarghity blargh!

/wingnutz

 
 

Yeah, but it snowed in D.C. this winter and Al Gore is fat and has a big house, so blarghity blarghity blargh!

one of the joys of living in mn during a fricking freezing cold winter and almost non-existent spring is continually hearing, ‘is it cold enuff for ya? global warming, eh? hahahahahahaha! i wish!’

 
 

sometimes minnesota fucking rocks!

 
 

So, what are Sadlies’ opinions on tie-width? Wide, medium, skinny?

Skinny keyboard tie. Duh.

And this thread has reaffirmed for the millionth time my wise decision to not have children. You parent-types are crazy.

I am an uncle though, which can be quite fun. I’ve been known to give harmonicas to five year olds. Yes, I am a sick bastard.

 
 

So, what are Sadlies’ opinions on tie-width? Wide, medium, skinny?

Belly warmer in black with “Sunrise over Miami” painted on.

 
 

So, what are Sadlies’ opinions on tie-width?

The tie should match the suit – roughly the same width as your lapels. Unless there’s a light-up hula dancer or it’s shaped like a fish. Sometimes teh tie is so AWESOME, you wear it regardless.

 
 

I did some of my best parenting before I had a kid.

 
 

Pup Max, I have two words for ya- nettle “colcannon”.

Holy crap, what a revelation!

 
 

Pup Max, I have two words for ya- nettle “colcannon”.

i totes heart colcannon…do nettles grow in mn?

 
 

i totes heart colcannon…do nettles grow in mn?

Probably… if you’ve ever walked through undergrowth in shorts, and received a “sting-y” feeling, those babies are nettles, and they are delicious once you boil them.

 
 

OBS, you’re my kinda guy. Annoying musical toys make great gifts.

 
 

I had nettles in my yard when I lived up in northern MN so it’s likely they grow where you are.

 
 

Probably… if you’ve ever walked through undergrowth in shorts, and received a “sting-y” feeling, those babies are nettles, and they are delicious once you boil them.

i have indeed…

I had nettles in my yard when I lived up in northern MN so it’s likely they grow where you are.

i googled some pics and i do believe i have seen them around…i will likely pick a specimen and ask our local home extension agent tho before i eat any…

 
 

nettle “colcannon”

DOH! All this time it was right there in front of me and I never saw it. How could I have been so blind?

 
 

i googled some pics and i do believe i have seen them around…i will likely pick a specimen and ask our local home extension agent tho before i eat any…

Wear gloves! The season is coming to an end- they develop “phytoliths”, tiny mineral deposits than can give you distress, as they mature.

 
 

bbkf – gloves, wear gloves. Sorry to be obvious but …

 
 

Okay, fine. Humph.

 
 

can give you distress

as in lower gi distress?

 
 

OBS, you’re my kinda guy. Annoying musical toys make great gifts.

That one turned out OK (i.e. my relatives didn’t kill me). After the initial hours of horrible screeching, she actually got halfway decent sounds out of it. It’ll be interesting to see if she keeps it up and plays for real.

Reminder: Sierra Nevada tasting today/tonight at Brew Station… Hopefully they’ll have some of the more interesting offerings available.

 
 

Pupienus said,

June 2, 2011 at 18:39

POOP.

HAHA1!!1

This is why I have a problem kilts and meatheads who wear them.

 
 

bbkf – gloves, wear gloves. Sorry to be obvious but …

i prolly would not have thought to do so…thanks!

 
 

POOP.

this is also something i would not have thought of…ewww…

 
 

also the tagfail…

 
 

I’m tempted to attribute that ‘poop’ story to the Onion.

It is believed Angus and Sarah reconciled after they sobered up…

Indeed.
~

 
 

Sarah was just jealous because Angus’ dress was prettier.

 
 

Ahh, now we see the real motive. Angus is jealous of Sarah’s dress and defaces it with a skid.

 
 

for sarah’s sake, i hope angus is not fond of rim jobs…

 
 

Also, Angus’ boots were prettier than Sarah’s.

 
 

Also, Angus’ boots were prettier than Sarah’s.

speaking of boots, and from earlier in the thred, have these been discussed yet?

also, too…i sincerely hope that none of you get into these square toed boots

 
 

This is why, if you only have one wedding gown, you should go with something bleachable. That and vomit. It is only teh most naive of brides that doesn’t expect vomit on her wedding day.

There’s a reason why crêpe is so similar to crap in spelling. Perhaps for a second or third wedding gown where you may want to be a bit moar frivolous. Taffeta is most definitely not recommended (except for structural underthings). If you must have silk, choose something that will respond well to peroxide treatment.

 
 

boy dkw, you have pretty interesting pillow talk w/all the moms…

 
 

boy dkw, you have pretty interesting pillow talk w/all the moms…

Oh my. No, I nevar talk about wedding dresses with teh mothers I sleep with. There’s mutually satisfying physical intimacy, sometimes even with a bit of roleplay – and then there’s leading someone on.

Although there was that one time when Whale Chowder’s mom asked me to wear her wedding gown. I wasn’t sure it was going to fit over teh fursuit and safety harness, but there was room to spare.

 
 

and then there’s leaking someone on.

Why am I not surprised that’s the way I read it.

 
 

Why am I not surprised that’s the way I read it.

No comment.

 
 

Mom mentioned something to me about D-KW once. It was “mumblebumblemumble horse.” I thought at the time she was marveling at his anatomy. But, I now realize she was saying he was a manboobed clothes horse.

 
 

Oh my. No,

i was envisioning something along the lines of their fond (or not) reminiscences…

 
 

It is only teh most naive of brides that doesn’t expect vomit on her wedding day.

It’s like puuuuuuuuke on your wedding day!

 
 

I thought at the time she was marveling at his anatomy. But, I now realize she was saying he was a manboobed clothes horse.

No comment.

 
 

No comment.

that sounds suspiciously central to his point, so you might as well start sucking it now…and q.e.d. also, too…

 
douchebag_chan
 

Whatever happened to all the other people that used to be front pagers here? Is this now “Tintin’s Sadly, No”?

 
 

Yfrog has apparently fixed its little problem letting anyone upload via email.

Surprise, surprise.

Also, there’s some goatfucker in the middle of the whole thing.

And the other clown seems to be quite the loser with a real knack for teh laydeez.

 
 

No. This is now “Carl’s Sadly, No.”

Do keep up.

 
 

OT? Hedgehogs.

As I was talking, King had gotten hold of his and was pulling it up and up until it was touching his nose. And then, I’m afraid, he started sucking it.

 
 

And the other clown seems to be quite the loser with a real knack for teh laydeez.

yeesh. This is starting to make me feel sad.

 
A Commentalaria
 

douchebag_chan said,

June 2, 2011 at 21:34 (kill)

Whatever happened to all the other people that used to be front pagers here? Is this now “Tintin’s Sadly, No”?
====================
We ate them.

 
Miles "Tails" Prower
 

And then, I’m afraid, he started sucking it.

Sonic! Say it isn’t so!

 
 

He likes to display his penis and hedgehog penises are really rather long.” She recalls a recent lecture she gave to a Beavers group

penises and beavers?!?!? the obscenity of this article is too much!!!

 
Thread "Tintin" Bear
 

Whatever happened to all the other people that used to be front pagers here? Is this now “Tintin’s Sadly, No”?

They were all Tintin all along, just as we are all Tintin. Even the Beatles are Tintin – I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

 
 

Hey VS,

I guess I just heard, congratulations! You’re basically right on schedule since we had our son six weeks ago. This is our first and it’s kind of blowing our minds.

Congrats again and good luck to you!!

 
Yellow Submarine
 

GTFO!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

They were all Tintin all along, just as we are all Tintin. Even the Beatles are Tintin – I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

Actually, tin is the element with the most naturally occurring isotopes (10 I think). So tin2 has 100 isotopes. We are all isotopes of Tin*tin.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

That should read Tin squared. The <sup> tag worked in preview.

 
 

Uncles are great.

When I was little, five-ish or something, my uncle bought for me a fireman’s helmet with a working light and siren on top.

Imagine my parents’ enjoyment!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Working the <sup> tag.

 
 

I had and a sandwich for lunch

 
 

GASP–it just DISAPPEARED.

What happened to my sup?

 
 

Sheesh: congrats, welcome to the club!

 
 

tintin.023 x 108

 
 

FYWP, you hateful hor.

 
 

Even the Beatles are Tintin – I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

Dylan is TinTin, too.

I’m just average. Common, too.
I’m just like him, the same as you.
I’m everybody’s brother and son.
I ain’t different than anyone.
Ain’t no use talkin’ to me;
It’s the same as talkin’ to you.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Tsam, you need to replace your first less-than bracket with ampersand-lt-semicolon or it just disappears. In general, surround any HTML command with an ampersand and a semicolon, and use the letter abbreviations, like lt for less-than. On the other hand, never mind, because what I just told you to do doesn’t even work in preview, FYWP!

 
 

here come ole carl top
he come grooving up slowly
he got Tin Tin eyeball
he one sadly roller
he got Carl down to his knees
then he got Tin Tin
he just do what he please.
come together together, right now
with donalde dee

 
 

Tintin is everywhere
Tintin is everything
Tintin is everybody
Tintin is still teh king
Man oh man want i want you to see
Is that Tintin is Salonen comma C.

Tintin is everybody out there,
Everybody’s got some Carl in them!
Everybody except one person that is,,,
,
Yeah, one person,,,
,
Teh Ebil Opposite of Tintin.
,
Teh Anti-Tintin.
,
Anti-Tintin’s got no Carl in him – let me tell ya.
,
,
,
,
Donalde Douglas has no Tintin in him.

 
 

Uncles are great.

Mine certainly were.

My father died when I was five. My uncles stepped in as sorta surrogate fathers for my brother and I. (Eventually my mother re-married, and my step-father became Dad.) Uncles are great.

I have no children. One of the joys of my life has been unclehood. And I’m an honorary uncle to a girl who parents were both single-children. I recently confided to her that I was the world’s tallest leprechaun. Which is why my beard is so long. My confession set off Much Goofiness.)

I hope VS and Mr. Slayer have brothers! Every child needs an uncle.

 
 

Argh. FYWPx2. I’m going to have dinner.

 
 

That was great, Kiwi !!!

 
 

Sadly, No! post today oh boy
No post about the Palin horrorshow
And though Tintin had made me sad
Well I just had to laugh
Dick in a photograph

A crowd of wingnuts stood and stared
While Carl pointed and he laughed at them
The posters joked and punned and sang
But they’re all just one guy
And he’s so very high…

 
 

Why are dumbass “conservatives” so hopelessly incapable of grasping the idea that high unemployment threatens their own jobs? I mean shit. Is it really a complicated thing to understand?

**sigh**

 
 

Whale: Loud applause from Balltimore!

 
 

Why are dumbass “conservatives” so hopelessly incapable of grasping the idea that high unemployment threatens their own jobs?

The ones sucking the teats of Wingnut Welfare in no danger.

 
 

‘are’. One would think I could key an 11-word sentence without fucking it up. One would be wrong. Thank god for my Special Exemptions!

 
 

Uh-oh. Done killed the thread.

 
 

This was a guy working construction! The hardest hit, most volatile industry in the country. Construction is the first thing to die and the last thing to recover–and unemployment–DUH–stops people from building homes and slows tax revenues….

Irritates me.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

<I’m a try something>—bear with me.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

OK—I FYWP’d too soon. Ampersand-lt-semicolon does work. What doesn’t work is further surrounding that with ampersand-semicolon to demonstrate it. Most sites will allow at least two levels of self-reference like that.

 
 

WC, that was inspired! Applause from the left coast as well!

 
 

⊃0

 
 

⊃<

 
 

&9;

 
 

𤻤

 
 

cool. This one is 666

&#666

 
 

doh–

ʚ

 
 

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

HAIL OBAMA OUR COMMUNIST LEADER

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

 
 

Another kiwi©
BWAH ah ah ah a h

 
 

Now Iris (my beautiful wonderful Iris) has said I can no longer use her shampoo. Boo Hoo. Seriously. This is major, major headache. Now I have to pick a shampoo! Makes my palms sweat actually. Deodorant no problem. Picked a brand, Brut, years ago, which I still use, after Chichesters Drug Store ran out of Jade East and Joe Fuch said Brut was almost the same. Okay.

So now I have a money making idee. Make shampoo for mens. The fragrance is the thing, of course. What the shampoo really does doesn’t matter. I can’t bear the fruits, the coconut, the apricot, the strawberry, the apple with a dash of lemon….stinky perfumy frenchy stuff neither. I want a manly shampoo. Choices? So far this is what I have come up with:

Motor oil
Gasoline
Wood
Aspirin (could be functional, especially after too much:)
Whisky
1. Rum
2. Scotch
3. Burboun
4. Schnapps
5. Etc, including beers, Drambuie, Triple Sec…
Leather
Earth
Dizzy Dean Charcoal
Meat
Fishing Reel
Fresh Cut Grass
Corn

Any ideas?

 
 

I just pour bourbon over my head for my weekly shower. Cuts through all the grime, smells fine afterward!

 
 

I want a manly shampoo.
If the idea is “shampoo that emanates the same smells that you are already carrying around, but as a feature not a bug” then I’m for “frying black pudding”.

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day, again
 

Hello.

 
 

Most sites will allow at least two levels of self-reference like that.

Not casting Aspergers at anyone in particular, but would you trust the S,N! commentariat with a Preview that boasted fully recursive compiler capabilities?

 
 

Also Muslim leader!

 
sham - low sodium hunchback
 

shampoo for mens

Hot Tuna?

 
Spearhafoc, who's been away all day, again
 

Not casting Aspergers at anyone in particular, but would you trust the S,N! commentariat with a Preview that boasted fully recursive compiler capabilities?

Uh, do you mean “aspersions”, or am I missing a joke here?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Not casting Aspergers at anyone in particular, but would you trust the S,N! commentariat with a Preview that boasted fully recursive compiler capabilities?

You talk like creating a causality loop that would rend the fabric of spacetime and cause a death spiral into a singularity would be a bad thing….

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Besides, it’s the wingnuts that are always casting ass-burgers at everything they don’t like.

 
 

Not casting Autism back at anyone in particular, but it IS 2011. Asking a compiler to do its job in say…INTERNET FUCKING EXPLORER doesn’t seem to be too much to ask.

 
 

yeesh. This is starting to make me feel sad.

Wanna know what made me sad today?

Sitting on the bus, I saw a young lady reading a book. Ever the curious lad, I noted the author. Actually witnessing someone read David Brooks on purpose made my heart sink. Seriously. I was all, “Aa-awwwww…”

Distressing.

 
 

UFOes are socalists

 
 

#

M. Bouffant said,

June 3, 2011 at 3:50

I just pour bourbon over my head for my weekly shower. Cuts through all the grime, smells fine afterward!

My mother used to accuse my dad of bathing in whisky. Maybe he did. I thought she was kidding, kind of. My sister used to rinse her hair with Budweiser, the king of beers.

 
 

Pooping on the next comment:





 
 

Hearing a construction worker try to tell me the reason the economy is fucked up is cuz of all the illegals and unemployed lazy guys who don’t want to work made me have a major sad.

I don’t know why–the construction industry is jammed to the fucking rafters with dumbfuck white trash. I guess it makes me sad because I have to talk to them 5 days per week.

 
 

Ahhh that warm poop bath feels SO GOOD. Like a day at the spa.

 
 

Stuck on a desert island with nothing but a case of Budweiser; King of Fears.

 
 

Not casting Autism back at anyone in particular, but it IS 2011. Asking a compiler to do its job in say…INTERNET FUCKING EXPLORER doesn’t seem to be too much to ask.

Actually, I think the preview issues stem from the browser doing the right thing and WFingP filtering or somesuch. Hence having to spell out “strike” even though “s” works in preview.

Not to cast asparagus at anyone.

 
 

I think WFP is just a hateful hor. The Ann Coulter of blogware.

 
 

WFP is a shit moat.

 
 

He meant asparagus, but NOT GOOD FOR SHAMPOOING.

Man-poo: mix 1 T baking soda in 1 c warm water. Scrub the hell out of your scalp with it, then rinse out. You can add a drop or two of cedar essential oil if that’s not manly enough for you.

 
 

OH FUCK YOU HOGEYE.

 
 

I have to go help find a horse. My neighbor lets his horse free range the neighborhood and the horse wanders off. Everyone in the neighborhood who’s not asleep has to go out in the dark and help look for his horse. Last time he was down by the river, checking out another horse. A mare I think. Anyway, buenas noches. I’ll check back tomorrow to see if anyone had any good shampoo ideas.

 
 

And now all I can hear in my head is Billy Corgan going “The world is a shit moat” dah dah dah, dah dah, dah dah dah…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

To give Budweiser its due, it just tastes like regular grocery-store swill now. They got rid of that boiled-green-mountain-ash-twig flavor it used to have.

 
 

Having to go see a man about a horse.

 
 

Hogging the fuckeye

 
 

Weiner HAS to be guilty – the alternative is unpossible!

 
 

Where the Jim Jam Higgins does Rodertudis live that there are horses wandering about? Rohan?
Horse sweat shampoo would probably be MANLY.
Body shop manshampoo is ver’ good.

 
 

Weiner HAS to be guilty – the alternative is unpossible!

Um…shit.

 
Wingtip Warriors
 

“Italy foiled an attempt by North Korea to import tap-dancing shoes”

The world is safe again.

 
 

Um…shit.

Sorry about that … yeah, social media is MUCH more “social” than most people know.

Almost every day I see more & more evidence to justify my ongoing self-inposed exile from teh Twitter, Facebook, et al. Everyone’s paranoid about evil nerds using ID theft to h@xx0rz their bank account – while basic freeware gives anyone willing to find & use it the means to radically ratfuck anyone they choose with a couple of clicks. Use a proxy &/or a public computer & you’re basically untraceable.

If the info in the DK diary is true, this was one laughably piss-poor ratfuck, to put it charitably. No dummy account? No proxy? No sanitizing the file’s data?

Somewhere, The Baby Karl Rove is weeping!

 
 

They got rid of that boiled-green-mountain-ash-twig flavor it used to have.

I’m gonna take your word for that.

 
 

I knew it was easy, but not nearly THAT easy. I already use the Ccleaner regularly, now I’ll be using it in an OCD manner.

And Blightbart will walk away from this, like every other life he has attempted and succeeded at ruining. I’m STILL fucking livid with Obama over Shirley Sherrod. I’ll never forgive him for that. But Blightbart needs to be fucking beat down.

 
 

Blightbart needs to be fucking beat down.

He now has someone‘s full & undivided attention.

If I was him, I think I’d prefer an actual beating.

 
 

Weiner HAS to be guilty – the alternative is unpossible!

Thought I’d give that app a try–Microsoft Security Essentials said no.

Evil plans thwarted for the moment.

 
 

Hopefully Sherrod’s lawyers will make sausage out of Blartblart. Apparently the court is already tiring of his bullshit tactics.

 
 

Moving away from Weiner’s pants, Rand Paul was on a radio show and he called for audiences attending “radical speeches” to be arrested and or deported. No word if he considers Tea Party bloviating to be “radical.”

 
 

Not casting Aspergers at anyone in particular,

Uh, do you mean “aspersions”, or am I missing a joke here?

I used to talk about “casting nasturtiums” (which used to be a Home-Counties status marker back in the days), but it pissed off too many gardeners.

 
 

Meanwhile that little fucking twerp Ben Shapiro was on Fox claiming that Sesame Street is some sort of Leftist plot because he has an anti-Hollywood book to flog. I’m being serious; Google the fricking thing.

 
 

Google the fricking thing.
Or …

 
 

I used to talk about “casting nasturtiums” (which used to be a Home-Counties status marker back in the days), but it pissed off too many gardeners.

Why would they be bothered by you making bronzes?

 
 

Federal Reserve office puts up rainbow flag. Fundies have hussy fit.
money quote:

The Mississippi-based American Family Association said it has received a complaint from a Federal Reserve employee who also objects to the flag. In an e-mail to the right-wing group, the employee said: “For the past five or six years, the homosexual agenda has been pushed down our throats.

 
 

I am slightly astonished that autocorrect changed hissy to hussy. I do like that it never capitalizes god but always capitalizes Satan.

 
Spearhafoc, who's on first
 

the homosexual agenda has been pushed down our throats.

After all these years, they haven’t caught on to what that sounds like. I almost pity them.

Wait, no I don’t.

 
 

After all these years, they haven’t caught on to what that sounds like.

I think they do. Seeing a rainbow flag is like being mouth-raped by… *gasps*
Once they reach this point, they excuse themselves, for hey have to go get a little relief in a more private place. And picture more lustfully the thing that’s so nicely pushed down their throats.

 
 

“For the past five or six years, the homosexual agenda has been pushed down our throats.

That’s a long time to get face fucked. You can get off your knees anytime, son. No? Ok.

 
 

Well, I think we’ll have to tell Enrique that his horse, named Ricky (after Ricky Ricardo from I love Lucy, his most favorite tv show in the world) has been stolen. Or just wandered really away this time. Enrique will be circulating Lost Horse (Caballo Perdido) flyers today. I asked him if he had any photos. No. Everybody knows what a horse looks like, stupid.

But I got a couple new ideas for shampoo:

Horse
Swollen River
Deet
Cigar
Around Midnight (can that be a fragrance?)

Thank you TIgris for the baking soda suggestion…..I don’t know where I might find oil of cedar. maybe cilantro a substitute?

 
 

“I asked him if he had any photos. No. Everybody knows what a horse looks like, stupid.”

A horse is a horse. Of course, of course.

 
 

Well if it’s a talking horse, I can see why he’d want it back.

 
 

If it’s a porn horse, we’re talking major value.

 
 

I let my cat free range the neighborhood. She talks a lot, just not in the Queen’s English.

 
 

“If it’s a porn horse, we’re talking major value.”

Can you imagine the embarrassment if a horse was “hung like a human.”

 
 

Your cat is Sarah Palin?

 
The Incompetent Mr. Ace
 

Pushing buttons there smedley…

 
 

That dick is so long it’s stretching out over days.

 
 

maybe cilantro a substitute?

Depends on your lady friend.

 
 

Where the Jim Jam Higgins does Rodertudis live that there are horses wandering about? Rohan?

i know there is a new thread already, but i just have to point out that the phrase jim jam higgins made me laff and that rodertudis obviously lives where axe products are not available…they have now converted their body spray stench into shampoo…

 
 

Not casting Aspergers at anyone in particular

The tips are pointy, unless you’ve blanched them first. You could poke an eye out!

 
 

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