Mission Accomplished!!!!!!
Posted on May 27th, 2011 by Tintin
Shorter J-Dough Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
Oh, Come On!
- Obama’s capturing and killing Osama bin Laden was not nearly as historic an event as President Bush’s victory in Iraq.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
In Doughbob’s defense, he’s a stupid moron.
Ever since Bush landed at Bagram airbase and stole Saddam’s BAZOOKA and then handed him over to Seal Team 007 the world has been safe from 3rd world dictators everywhere!
God Bless that flight-suit and the proud Americans who tailored it!!
Sir! On behalf of all stupid morons, I call upon you to retract your vicious slander!
If you don’t believe me, then just google it!
@Even more PD: I tried. The first result:
It is a 1986 horror novel by American author Stephen King.
Dammit. First it was teh shit-weasels and now it’s teh stupid morons. I’m going to have to find a bettar way of describing people like Doughy P.
In Jonah’s defense, he closes by saying that there’s a lot moar to say, but he’s too busy. IOW, Jonah has spared us from moar of his brilliant insight! That’s gotta be worth something.
“Tailored Flight-suits” was a Stephen King novel?
First they came for the came for the stupid morons, and I was like, ALL RIGHT, FIRST ON THE TRAIN!
“Tailored Flight-suits” was a Stephen King novel?
Well, that was certainly a horror show
Quick one for Jonah:
With apologies to our gracious overlords, Sadly, No!
First they came for the came for the stupid morons, and I was like, ALL RIGHT, FIRST ON THE TRAIN!
HAHAHAHAHA! That was fucking hilarious!
Is the Trump look ‘shopped on or is that really what he looks like? Either way it was well-earned.
Joe Biden calls Obama’s action against Bin Laden, “the boldest decision … any president has undertaken on a single event in modern history.”
um, jonah? i think he’s prolly referring to the way in which the attack was launched…cuz obviously, dubya’s ‘way to go brownie!’ and ‘mission accomplished’ moments were pretty fucking bold…but yeah…you go out for a few sammiches and forget to come back to finish your *thoughts*, mmmkay?
also too:First they came for the came for the stupid morons, and I was like, ALL RIGHT, FIRST ON THE TRAIN!
fucking hilarious, indeed!
Uh huh. You tell ’em Jonah.
Because a lack of corporate money is what is truly wrong with America politics…
We are so fucked.
Is the Trump look ‘shopped on or is that really what he looks like? Either way it was well-earned.
you know what disconcerts me the most when we have a jonah thread? he looks alot like the ceo of our hospital whom i have to work with nearly every day…also, he is a twit…
Bush and Obama are both Pikers. You can’t beat sending a baseball player to Zürich to assassinate Werner Heisenberg during a lecture for sheer balls.
Difference between today and 1944, of course, is that Berg was only supposed to do it if in his opinion, what Heisenberg said in the lecture made it seem as if the Germans were close to building an atomic bomb. Nowadays he would have just mown down the whole room with a machine gun.
Further proof that Lucianne dropped Pantload on his head at least twice too often from the window of their penthouse.
Bush and Obama are both Pikers.
Obviously, FDR wasn’t smoking a cigarette in that holder he was always chomping on.
sending a baseball player to Zürich to assassinate Werner Heisenberg during a lecture for sheer balls.
Well, a catcher should know balls and strikes.
What do you call that gasping action a kid makes just as he is about to cry?
I don’t know what it’s called, but this think Jonah has put down here is the textual representation.
Jonah; He got bin Laden. DEAL WITH IT.
And if you threaten me with the pork chop again, I’m going to go all chop suey kickboxer kung fu on your bitch ass. Ya heard?
Obviously, FDR wasn’t smoking a cigarette in that holder he was always chomping on.
How else you gonna manage a smile when polio is eating your nervous system?
Reptiloids are lucky if they get any parental attention at all.
Tradition calls for scraping swamp vegetation over the eggs and letting the decay keep them warm until hatching.
~
Of course, “modern history” is a relative term, so presumably he’s excluding the Emancipation Proclamation or Truman’s decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But how about Gerald Ford’s pardon of Nixon? Or Bush’s surge?
Freeing slaves = incinerating a few hundred thousand civilians = preventing criminal prosecution of a corrupt thug = sending more cannon fodder into an unwinnable war.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Of course, “modern history” is a relative term, so presumably he’s excluding the Emancipation Proclamation or Truman’s decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But how about Gerald Ford’s pardon of Nixon? Or Bush’s surge?
One of these things is not like the other. Can YOU guess which of these is not somewhere between questionable at best to an outright failure/abuse of authority?
Nowadays he would have just mown down the whole room with a machine gun.
Well, that’s the thing. Obama had a “mow down the whole room” option with a drone or cruise missile strike. Granted an elite Navy SEAL team is slightly moar firepower than your average baseball catcher.
Not saying that I agreed with Barry’s decision though.
Little known fact, Moe Berg got his start in LEAFS SUCK.
If barry wasn’t a pussy, like Ronald Raygun, he would have gone over there and shot bin Laden himself. He’s not brave.
Didja ever notice taht “keeping America Safe” always entails blowing up foreign places and never involves safe bridges or clean rivers?
Starvation never makes the ‘bad guy’ list either, why is taht?
There seems to be something Freudian about the inclusion of the Emanicpation Proclamation with the one person to have used a nuclear weapon, pardoning the guy who stripped the presidency of every ounce of credibility, or fixing a war with doing war even harder.
Just what are you trying to say, Doughberg?
My Republican-voting, Fox-watching elderly father has STOPPED watching Fox News and listening to conservative radio precisely because of comments like Jonah’s.
Dad: “Obama got bin Laden and all they can do is criticize, criticize, criticize.”
Unintended consequences, ay?
Hey, remember when Bill Clinton tried to take out bin Laden with a cruise missile strike and it was a crime against humanity? Now Obama doesn’t and that’s no good either. One might almost suspect right-winger’s ethical pronouncements of being colored by political considerations. But no, I’m sure they are all, all honorable men!
Jonah; He got bin Laden. DEAL WITH IT.
That’s the meat of the matter. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth about it for decades.
But how about Gerald Ford’s pardon of Nixon? Or Bush’s surge?
I’ll ignore the surge, because BULLSHIT, but Ford and his advisers thought the pardon would be popular, and were shocked when it wasn’t(pdf). Also, the “Obama dithered for 16 whole hours – NOT BRAVE!” really need to justify any praise they may have for Ford’s thoroughly vetted act of courage.
Teh pantload: Really? A Republican president wouldn’t have killed bin Laden under similar circumstances
Yeah, John McCain would totally have done it, I’m sure.
Oops. I put the question mark at the end of the JoLoad quote in invisible font.
If barry wasn’t a pussy, like Ronald Raygun, he would have gone over there and shot bin Laden himself. He’s not brave.
Which is, of course, why St. Ronnie went over and personally freed the hostages in Iran while smearing a mosque with lard and pulling an ayatollah’s beard.
I would have given bin laden the worst wedgie EVER before I shot homeboy in his fuckin FACE.
But that’s just because I’m a BAMF.
I also woulda snuck some pork into his smoothie just to make sure he went to hell.
The new Double Bacon Smoothie!
Try the Pork Rind salads!
Left two comments at end of the Hyperspace thread. Gee, folks, whatever happened to leaving a note for the Oblivious that a new thread is in progress?
Many errands to run. Quick scan shows there are many rotten mangoes ashore. Looking forward to examining them on the skewers of the intrepid Sadlies.
And for you big eaters:
The Poultry-Pork Supreme!
Ham-lafel?
Didja ever notice taht “keeping America Safe” always entails blowing up foreign places and never involves safe bridges or clean rivers?
Starvation never makes the ‘bad guy’ list either, why is taht?
the same reason child abuse and slavery didn’t make the big 10, either
39 reasons to attend the NR cruise.
Every grifting SOB that works at that pile will be in one place. On one boat….
baconalia!!!
Every grifting SOB that works at that pile will be in one place. On one boat….
just what are you implying, tsam? i am pretty sure that all 39 of them would be happy to find pork in their smoothies…
They can’t deal with it. Seriously. They’re still reeling like it just happened—and I see no sign of them mentally encompassing it. It’s driving them even more insane than they already were. Just like a frontal lobotomy with a malted-milk machine. I’ve never enjoyed anything so much—schadenfreude is a great drug!
Sub: Quel Fromage!
Pork-Kabsa? Maybe with some Pancetta-Ganoush?
You know what? Pancetta-Ganoush sounds fucking AWESOME.
Try the Pork Rind salads!
Taboo-leh!
I’ve never had hommous without thinking that what it really needs is bacon.
My work here is complete.
As awesomely fun as it is to imagine various middle eastern dishes with bacon added to it – the premise is flawed.
Note, I’m not an Islamic scholar or an expert on Wahhabist views but I seem to recall something about exceptions to teh ban on eating haraam foods. I suspect that unknowingly ingesting or being force-fed pork wouldn’t break halal behaviour.
That said – bacon hummous. Mmmmmm.
So Jonah lists Eagle Claw and Bay of Pigs as bold failures, thus proving that Obama did not act boldly. Right. Because when you watch two guys fail at something and you try to do that thing anyway, you’re just a copycat pussy.
Jonah Goldberg should be beaten with red-tipped rods, put in a leather sack with a dog, a poisonous snake, a rooster, and a monkey, and thrown into the Tiber.
See, they know Bush would have just blown up the whole place and we’d never know if Osama was dead or not. This raid, which Obama insisted on, and which would have failed without the extra helicopter he forced them to send, was—as Bo Gritz said about the Oklahoma City bombing—”A miracle of Art and Science.” The contrast has to somehow be turned around. It doesn’t matter if it makes any sense or not—their constituency will lap it up. I wonder if they’ll be able get the general public to change their minds before November next year. History suggests they will.
39 reasons to attend the NR cruise.
And sabotage the bilge pumps.
,,,the extra helicopter he forced them to send,,,
OMG. I could be a bold and courageous preznit!
“NEEDS MOAR HELICOPTERS! WHAT IF THEY HAVE JETPACKS!”
Jonah Goldberg should be beaten with red-tipped rods, put in a leather sack with a dog, a poisonous snake, a rooster, and a monkey, and thrown into the Tiber.
No.
Chuck him in with bowling balls and rock salt into the cement truck mixer. Mix thoroughly for twenty minutes and deposit on ground. Then chase with a combine harvester to the precipice above the cliff-o-tine.
Haven’t we made this decision already?
I can’t believe he actually listed Ford’s pardon of Nixon as an example of bold. That has to be one of the stupidest and most unpopular decisions made by a President in modern history. Ford simultaneously let off a criminal and torpedoed his own chances of getting elected President.
Haven’t we made this decision already?
Close, but I’m not giving it teh GO! until you ADD MOAR HELICOPTERS! Go and see if Airwolf has some time in his busy schedule.
I wonder if they’ll be able get the general public to change their minds before November next year. History suggests they will.
I imagine the people whose minds will change are those who wake up thinking “It’s been almost a month since the bin Laden killing, and I still haven’t formed an opinion on it. I sure wish Jonah Goldberg would tell me what to think.” No one, in other words.
This isn’t like GOP misdirection on the stimulus or taxes or whatever, because that’s all numbers and shit and it’s hard to figger out. Osama = Dead. Obama = Guy who did it. The only people who can be lied to about that are the 27% who need to be lied to about everything.
Of course I’m kidding—Bush would never have taken out Osama. He was too useful. After landing in Afghanistan and sweeping from west to east, carefully chivvying Osama and Mullah Omar to safety in Pakistan, how can anyone imagine he would have attacked him in his safe house, which the Bushies probably picked out for him?
The only people who can be lied to about that are the 27% who need to be lied to about everything.
“POOP tastes like chocolate!”
What?
It was time.
And one person who’s being a real douche about it is Scott Stantis.I don’t know why he doesn’t fill up his stupid comic with 4 panels of “FUCK OBAMA! FUCK OBAMA!” because it’s clearly all he can think about.
Close, but I’m not giving it teh GO! until you ADD MOAR HELICOPTERS! Go and see if Airwolf has some time in his busy schedule.
*sigh*
Fine.
Fine.
We’ll add more helicopters and see if Airwolf is available.
Happy?
Yo, OBS and s.c., this one’s for you
http://www.rogue.com/events/ecb-gsale.php
@ Spaghetti Lee:
Well: A year and a half after the US was attacked by 18 Saudis and one Egyptian, they had a large majority of Americans convinced they were all Iraqis. I wish I could think people were smarter now, but after the last election I’ve pretty much given up on that.
“Jonah Goldberg should be beaten with red-tipped rods, put in a leather sack with a dog, a poisonous snake, a rooster, and a monkey, and thrown into the Tiber.”
Coming Soon: The Bremen Town Musicians Part Deux
Wow, just… Wow. The Citizens United case really is the gift that keeps on giving, huh? There was very little in this country to hold back the massive corporatism we already enjoy, but now? What checks on corporate power exist anymore?
Fuck.
Thanks for the tip!
We’ll add more helicopters and see if Airwolf is available.
YeeeHAW! Who’s Decidering now!
I AM!
I’ve never had
hommoushuman without thinking that what it really needs is bacon.Fiqqst.
Listing out the history of presidential decisions doesn’t really help. Eagle Claw and Bay of Pigs may have been bold ideas, but they were done in by second guessing by advisors. Whatever you can claim about The Surge on its its own, in context, it will always be an admission that W fucked up the war plans to start with. Is there no argument Jonah cannot lose. He starts out with some Biden hyperbole and can’t help but argue about Obama. It’s like he loses points if he makes a valid argument. Either that or he just sits in front of his compuer for hours and hours thinking about Osama muttering “it just CAN’T be” over and over again.
She looks a little like Barbara Bush.
Either that or he just sits in front of his compuer for hours and hours thinking about Osama muttering “it just CAN’T be” over and over again.
and then he just goes out and gets a few sammiches…
Re: Dougie Feith being the dumbest fucking guy on the planet,
A Challenger Appears!
facepalm.jpeg
First they came for the stupid morons
I got shotgun!
And we’re going to CAMP!
s. c. being s. cerevisiae of course, not that other SC who probably wouldn’t bother to fly to Oregon just for some cheap beer.
I can’t believe any thinks this was Ford’s decision.
“Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rain forests in order for some countries to eliminate that production of greenhouse gases?”
You know, the Captain Planet villains were once derided for being unrealistic.
I heart typos!
He did not mention the “Mission Accomplished” moment, strangely enough
D’oh Bob money shot There’s a lot more to say, but I’ve got to head out for a few.
So we’re really in Jo’berg aren’t we? I could say more but I have to go to a Mountain Dew party. Hah hah we’re going to put Mentos in them.
.
Any time Rogue sells anything cheaply is a momentous occasion. I’ve never quite understood how they manage to sell their overpriced and largely unremarkable bottlings at retail. Also on my one visit to their original Newport location, the staff vibed us as unwelcome intruders and we split after ten beerless minutes.
I’m going to have to find a bettar way of describing people like Doughy P.
The Yeast Infection That Walks Like a Man?
If you’re not sure he’s going to hell, should you really be assassinating him?
+1
Being vibed by the staff.
What checks on corporate power exist anymore?
Guns & explosives, wielded by the people in righteous anger.
I can smell the mangoes from here. They smell like desperation, flop sweat, and failure, a.k.a. Eau de Jonah, or simply shortened to “Eew.”
Fred Meyer currently has organic mangoes on sale @ 1.25 apiece. They’re real, and they’re spectacular.
Limpet – check Rogue’s site for the Portland locations.
More info: http://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/hlmvb/dont_forget_about_the_rouge_garage_sales_this/
And please don’t take offense for my forgetting to include you, I’ve forgotten people far more memorable than you.
Er, I mean, …. That is….
Safeway had ’em for a buck each but I think that was last week.
Dana Rohrabacher (R-The New West)
Trig’s almost out of the woods, boys.
Yeah, here’s a pro tip: It’s cheaper and easier to ship the beer to the person.
Yeah, their pricing is definitely weird — not sure how they pull it off.*
I rarely buy/drink Rogue beer at anywhere other than the main brewery in Newport (not the Bayfront location) — and I also had one case of bad service a while back. The last few times I’ve been there the service was great and the food was good. The variety of beers they offer at the brewery is also much more interesting than what you tend to see — that is, they have lots of things other than “Dead Guy”. Some of it’s damn good, but it’s spotty.
*not a euphemism
Pup, they’ll be 3 for buck next week @ Safeway, and finally ripe enough to eat. Maybe I’m just closer to Mexico here in Colorado, so more unripe than elsewhere.
Jonah the Whale really outdid hisself this time. Is that a kosher porkchop he’s getting ready to chomp on?
I also pondered the thought of a malcontent, one-lone-nut type on board the ‘Ship of Fools’, and my past history as a malcontent, anti-social miscreant bent on anarchy and criminal mischief (oft times at a profit!), and reconsidered my sometimes regretted retirement from those wild days and crazy ways. Then I realize, I’d be on that boat, with no way off, so fuck that. I’m staying OFF the boat, for this one.
FYWP w/ Jonah’s spotted dick!
Behind Doughbob’s giant swollen noggin’ all I can see is “The He” and what I think is the beginning of a stylized “F”. I’m trying to imagine where he was speaking. Obviously it couldn’t have been at any sort of conservative “think” tank that starts with those letters. Must be something else…
The Hefty Friends Network?
The Herpes Fetishist Society?
The Help For Fat Fucks Support Group?
The Head Fuck Society?
The Hey, Fucking Over The Poor is Awesome! club?
The possibilities are nearly endless.
POOP?
The Heritage Foundation, though No.5 is a much more a apt description
Nah, I already ruled that out. They’re known as a “think” tank, they couldn’t possibly have had Teh Pantload speak…[/snark]
“Tailored Flight-suits” was a Stephen King novel?
I’m guessing that highschool bullying and a small town in New England were involved.
First they came for the stupid morons
Foolish Substance. You do not have to come for the stupid morons; you put up a sign saying “FREE FEWD ABOARD TRAIN”.
First they came for the stupid morons
F00lish Substance. You do not have to come for the morons; you just put up a sign reading “FREE FEWD ABORD TRANE”.
The Hitler Friends. Like the Super Friends, but with more Hitler.
The possibilities are nearly endless.
I’m just gonna go with “The Herp Derp Club”, of which Jonah is a lifetime member.
Happiness!
Wet Hop Ale is made with Independence and Revolution hops.
It’s life as we know it, Jim
Hello Fenwick.
Have something for you, mostly true, if my memory hasn’t been scrubbed and replaced with low oxygen dreams.
I heard a story from a Miskito Indian about a nineteen year old boy whose mind and body had been possessed by a powerful devil who lives in Telica, a volcano in north western Nicaragua. Since I am interested in volcanoes and exorcism, this tale was more than I could resist. I decided to seek him out, maybe even help him escape his captors (or even the devil), although I am not brave.
The pastoress of his church explained that she had started praying for him the same day he came into the chapel. He was completely naked except for his socks, which did not match. She added that he had an enormous erection. She said she knew he was a good boy and this was a signal from the devil. Through prayer she learned that the only remedy was to chain him by the neck to a church pew (not the altar because that would put el diablo too close to the man on the cross) and to deny him food for a week, maybe longer. He was given only water and some spoonfuls of crushed hierbabuena, since el diablo (as a man) lives on burnt tortillas, lagartos, and deformed children. She cried as she told me his condition had worsened, in spite of being held in the church for nine days. (This same treatment had worked the year before on a girl who fell possessed one day while working in the tobacco fields.) She had consulted with the man on the cross again and (although she was against it) gave the order to move him to a remote village further east, on the other side of the Sinecapa, in Los Zarzales, where evil Telica spirits would have difficulty reaching him. You see, evil volcanic spirits have a limited range and are afraid to cross water, especially moving water.
More later….
Happiness!
If you didn’t read it at Rumproast (& you give a flying fug at a rolling dough-nut in the first place) there is a seven-hr. F. Zappa fest hither, as I type. (Just started.)
Interesting title; what, was he pre-empting his readers?
Mr. Goldberg, you are a son of unearned privilege, a person of no discernible talent, trapped in a job that clearly exceeds your limited capabilities. No one will think the worse of you if you just give up. I know your colleagues would feel a vast and lasting relief. Surely this is the greatest life goal to which one such as you can aspire?
Mr. Goldberg, you are a son of unearned privilege, a person of no discernible talent, trapped in a job that clearly exceeds your limited capabilities. No one will think the worse of you if you just give up. I know your colleagues would feel a vast and lasting relief. Surely this is the greatest life goal to which one such as you can aspire?
In other words:
By Jonah’s standards, this is actually good work. It was only a few weeks late, it does not contain a request for his readers to do his work and the historical events listed actually took place.
Complete bullshit argumentation, of course, but baby steps are important.
The Hitler Friends. Like the Super Friends, but with more Hitler.
If I get a tattoo of this, do I have to credit you?
If you didn’t read it at Rumproast (& you give a flying fug at a rolling dough-nut in the first place) there is a seven-hr. F. Zappa fest hither, as I type
Will they play Jazz Fart? Because I’ll tune in all 7 hours for Jazz Fart.
You can ink me in between WunderFrau(the mustache is natural!) and the Wunder-Zwillinge(“form of… Ice Aryan!”)
The fact is, your criticisicim of Goldberg, who is correct on all these things is biased and unjustifyed. You are being just like Hitler for silencing this voicve from other other sie, otherwise is all left liberl media bias toward the communists side.
The National Review Caribbean Cruise makes me wish the Bermuda Triangle were a real thing.
Gary, you totally dropped the ball. That should be “left liberl bias towards the fascist side”.
Shorter Jonah = baaaaaaaaaaaaw!
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! Joe Biden being hyperbolic? UNPOSSIBLE!
For sheer boldness, few moments in living memory can quite compare to a certain recipient of a certain briefing responding with: “Okay, you’ve covered your ass.”
Bold: not necessarily synonymous with shrewd.
What checks on corporate power exist anymore?
There is one clear simple message that corporations will always grovel to & never disregard. Consult your local purse or wallet for details.
Thread-killing – it’s just how I roll.
In my first comment in the thread, I shall kill it!
Not dead. Many Yanks, like the sheep they are, are heading for a three-day wknd. getaway, resulting in hamburger over the highways, divorces & probably a murder or 50.
What the hell do you think of my Facebook profile, anyway?
Too many photos of you making a duckface, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and not wearing a shirt.
The Yeast Infection That Walks Like a Man? — Anon.
+ 2
I wish I could think people were smarter now, but after the last election I’ve pretty much given up on that. — Battleaxe
I gave up in 1994.
Being vibed by the staff.
Is that like a gang rape? Or is like a wizard working you over? In any either case it sounds really painful!
———
Easy to call this Fake Gary:
No multiple exclamation marks (!!!).
NO ALL-CAPS extended laughter at end (or, more rarely, the beginning).
No ‘Conservo-Mentum 2012.’
Gary’s preferred address is ‘libs’ or ‘you libs’
—————–
Hiya, rodertudis! I also have a fascination with volcanoes (especially ‘hot spots’). And plate tectonics. And religion too!
So I’m automatically curious about your investigation of the Nicaraguan vollcano rumors.
(Tip: paragraphs are the reader’s friends…)
——————
NOTE TO ALL: I’m working with a new keyboard and new mouse. The keys’ spacing and touch-response are both different. (I must actually look at the keyboard for a while. The new mouse is livlier than my old one; the cursor really zips around.
So please excuse my typos, dropped words, doubled words, and orphan words for a while.
I know I’m already lousy at proofing (because I have Special Exemptions from Zeus his own self); nevertheless, I’ll try especially hard while making the keyboard / mouse transition.
hamburger over the highways
In Mystic, Connecticut?
Yeah, I should have said I gave up in 1980, but they dragged me back in briefly in 1992 and 2008. I thought maybe the country was coming to its senses, but no….
We snicker with glee at the thought of them nominating Sarah Palin…but we snickered with glee at the thought of them nominating Ronald Reagan, remember? She’s every bit as qualified as he was, if not more.
Sometimes I try to tell myself it couldn’t happen, but it could—it did!
Walking like a man.
Fred Meyer currently has organic mangoes on sale
Mangoes should not be mentioned in close proximity to comments about Rogue beers. It might give them ideas for the next novelty brew.
In Mystic, Connecticut?
Can’t put anything past y’all, can I?
I’d as soon mangoes weren’t mentioned at all. How could anyone bite into one after smelling it?
Thank you. Those are the headlines.
And now for the rumors behind the news …
…The continent of Asia has disappeared….
Mangoes should not be mentioned in close proximity to comments about Rogue beers. It might give them ideas for the next novelty brew.
Don’t know the Rogue label. (Any reference to the Rogue River, btw?) Aren’t rotten mangoes already along the road to fermentation?
Here’s another brewing ingredient would be appropriate for Mango Beer: The Yeast Infection That Walks Like a Man
—————
The Hitler Friends. Like the Super Friends, but with more Hitler.
I larfed at this, tigris.
Never happen. Reagan knew he was playing a role, and while he may not have been the bestest actor ever, not even #212, he could take direction and had some of the best (and most vicious) image makers of the time creating him.
She believes her own bullshit, cannot take direction (see 2008, McCain’s people thought she was an absolute nightmare) and will not do homework. The best Rabidweasle party planners (not saying they are good people, but they have a history of winning, and even in losing, pulling the Godwin window to the far-rightosphere), won’t touch her. She won’t listen, can’t win, and they don’t need the dent in their reputations.
A truly scary thought, is that if she could have listened to the pro’s at all, she would have been a heartbeat away from the presidency until she quit in 2010. (And McCain would be in constant traction from the effort of keeping an eye on her, especially any time she was behind him. And, probably, dozens of food tasters would be in their graves. Their survivors benefits would be causing the double-dip we all fear.)
Yeah, but on the other hand, yer electorate is 30 years stupider now.
30 extra-stupid years, at that.
Since nobody else has said anything yet, R.I.P. Gil Scott-Heron.
And he’s right, Jonah. Obama put the lives of SEAL team, the US alliance with Pakistan, and his own presidency on the line when he said, “go”. I call that bold.
At least, it’s the boldest decision that succeeded. One could argue that Carter’s decision to attempt a rescue of the hostages in Iran was bold, even though it failed. That had to be on Obama’s mind.
J Neo Marvin. I saw it and feel pretty down about it. Fuck it all
Y’know, this is one of those times I’m tempted to jump into the croc-infested river, wade through to the leech-infested inlet, climb up on the bug-infested shore to pick those mangoes.
And then I recall the sage of advice of a man named Carl Carlson: “Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™”
By the powers infested in me…I declare Jonah Goldberg shrill and desperate.
R.I.P. Gil Scott-Heron.
I remember his appearance on SNL. He played “J-Berg” and got a standing o
not even #212
Damn fucking straight. Nor 213, which I reserved for my forays into California’.
Anyways, maybe there is a point to be made about Biden and “rhetorical overkill”. I mean accusing Biden of hyperbolic hubris in this case? That might be a reasonable argument. Unless of course you’re teh Doughy Pantload.
Let me remind all y’all about exactly who the fuck we’re talking about. This is the fucking shitwad that’s accusing someone else of misrepresentative exaggerations. I suppose Jonah can fall back on claiming that this very serious and thoughtful argument is only the second or third most detailed and carefully made one ever.
You know what’s bold? Eating a demonic pork chop that casts no shadow!
The link reads oh-come-Jonah-Goldberg which I cannot read without matching it to the opening of Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
“I heart typos!”
Well, HELLO. Am I your dream woman? Yes. And how do you feel about shitty grammar and poor sentence construction? Because I am ALL OVER that shit.
Because I am ALL OVER that shit.
You’ve got two years of “Goo goo gaa gaa” descending on you.
After the past few days, I’m actually looking forward to POOP. It would be an improvement.
“First they came for the came for the stupid morons, and I was like, ALL RIGHT, FIRST ON THE TRAIN!”
I wish we could have siggies here…
BTW, while I’m sitting here STILL in the fucking hospital I wanted to thank everyone for the good wishes and congrats. I’m touched! And not just in the head.
BTW, while I’m sitting here STILL in the fucking hospital I wanted to thank everyone for the good wishes and congrats. I’m touched! And not just in the head.
So…Dudeskull has arrived?
I’m touched! And not just in the head.
Did the man in the white coat touch you in your special place?
Looch, yes. 🙂
It’s not very special anymore, N_B.
Glad to hear the birth turned out well. Here’s hoping for a quiet baby that doesn’t constantly wake you up in the middle of the night.
Also, too,
Eating a demonic pork chop that casts no shadow.
It’s not very special anymore
Any cop could tell you: once they let the underage kids in, they might as well fire the bouncer.
Looch, yes. 🙂
YIPPEE!
Wonderful!
Details?
Especially those kids who like play jump rope with their freakishly long umbilical cords and nearly end up killing themselves. Those kids are trouble!
Thanks, Spear!
Looch, too many. Most unpleasant. But Dudeskull’s here and he’s angelic.
Firing the bouncer.
he’s angelic.
That’s the only detail that counts.
I have very vivid memories (12 years on now) of The Rotten Little Perisher sleeping on my chest when he was but an hour old. A big pink frog was my impression at the time.
Mangoes should not be mentioned in close proximity to comments about Rogue beers. It might give them ideas for the next novelty brew.
Beaten to the fruit punch. I seem to recall it bragged about being the beer “with a touch of mango” on the label.
Hail vs!!!
and
Hail Dudeskull!
Already smarter than Jonah!!
The soft bigotry of low expectations.
Already smarter than Jonah!!
That really does not eliminate very much, other than modern conservatives. I mean even rocks qualify here.
Does this Dudeskull cast a shadow?
I mean even rocks qualify here.
And bags of hammers.
Does he eat pieces of dead vacuum?
I mean even rocks qualify here.
And bags of hammers.
As will Dudeskull’s doughy diaper loads.
Thanks for the tip, PM. The Brew Station is having a special on Dead Guy Ale for dead week – $2.50 a pint.
As for Rogue – I had a chance to try a couple pints of their limited edition old ale at Squirrels last fall and it was awesome. I barely remember walking home.
Im coming down there to join a Q patrol. Save me a seat
Dudeskull! YEAH VS! Wishing you both the best.
Just be glad he didn’t gnaw his way out.
Congratulations!!
Any Birthmarks?
Say on his left big toe?
Perhaps vaguely reminiscent of Orson Welles?
BWAHAHA! ‘Representative Anthony Weiner Twitter Underwear Scandal!’
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! “Scott Lemieux’s Spencer Ackerman moment”‘
See?
See?
Mention shitty diapers and see?
Mention shitty diapers and see?
Yeah, and that is a particularly nasty one.
Who farted?
Congrats to VS and Dudeskull!
Who farted?
That was not exactly a fart. Bit too solid (though not very) for that.
Teh Donalde really thinks this shit is important, doesn’t he?
Teh Donalde really thinks this shit is important, doesn’t he?
Mostly he just thinks his shit don’t stink and wants the rest of us to stick our noses down in it to see for ourselves, even though we can smell the stench a half mile away.
Vs, we all love you and are overjoyed about the arrival of dudeskull, but as you value your sanity, put down the keyboard and get back to sleep. Unless the little guy is actually feeding as you type, in which case, Wow, you really can have it all!
Congratulations Vacuumslayer! That umbilical cord jumprope game doesn’t sound like too much fun—but maybe Elliott Mainway can do something with it.
On a related note—I slew a vacuum yesterday. It gave birth to a roomful of lint and hair. Trufaxx!
Teh Donalde really thinks this shit is important, doesn’t he?
shorter Donalde:
This shit ISREAL!!
Meade is a channel of interaction.
VS, congratulations! Now you can really suffer….
The Donalde dislikes cursing
He dislikes it so much he quotes Arnold Alkon at great length because he’s too big a pussy to curse people out on his own
Oh, and speaking of Elliott Mainway: Donaldeeeeeeeeee—A “Big Bag ‘o Dixx” from Mainway Enterprises* is on its way to you. Eat hearty!
*Manufacturer of “Big Bag ‘o Broken Glass” and “Johnny Switchblade Adventure Punk”.
VS, congratulations! Now you can really suffer….
Heh. She thought nine months was bad, wait until she contemplates 18 years.
That Althouse post Donaldee’s linked is really excellent, so I will reproduce it in full:
Alcohol is an amazing substance.
There’s a comment down the thread in which she claims she is in fact punishing LG&M by not revealing why she thinks Donaldee’s being unfair.
Is it in fact punishment if Ann Althouse is not saying something?
Christ. You just know he’s been stewing about that for ages.
The fact is, in fact, that the fact, in fact, is.
As the saying goes, he lacks both the warmth and the charm.
Restore everything and apologize and I will.
With threats like that, she can pretty well guarantee that no one is going to be offering any apologies anytime soon.
Congratulations vs & lil’ Dudeskull!
also too – good on you bbfk for keeping with the program (and all you other quitters too.) Day 10 for me and not jonesing at all. In fact, I did a 9 hour road trip yesterday and it didn’t bother me not having cigs.
Yo Donaldee! How’s that Tintin research coming along? You promised us a “devastating” event, remember?
You promised us a “devastating” event, remember?
I think it “devastated” in his face.
Go Jennifer and the other quitters.
Hey,i once quit quitting. That was before I quit quit quitting and quit.
Quitters!
Mention shitty diapers and see?
I thought you had to say it three times before it appeared.
those kids who like play jump rope with their freakishly long umbilical cords
Bungee jumping!
I thought you had to say it three times before it appeared.
Three turds, one diaper.
Yo Donaldee! How’s that Tintin research coming along? You promised us a “devastating” event, remember?
Let me second that. I look forward to a hearty laugh (and lots of pointing) at The Donalde™ and his Full Diaper Stupid.
Has The Chopinator got back from his Mountain Dew and Mentos party yet and said the “lots to said” about being BOLD?
Inny bold, Jules?
He’s more of your actual italic.
Bona!
Hey, I heard you guys like quitters, here.
For the purposes of typographical humour I suggest that Julian’s colleague at Bona Type-Eek change his name to Ampersandy.
I do not wish to hear about his ligatures.
day 9 for me and also no jonesing…what’s up with that, jennifer?:
also, the morel count today 81…they are awfully yummy…
I’m not into Bourbon much so the recent whiskey speak offered me little opportunity to contribute. A guy at the liquor store was offering samples of Big Bottom Bourbon the other day (it was the producer, actually) which I liked. Drank a fair bit of it last night and I am now a bourbon believer. Its high rye content (36%) is surely part of the allure for me as I am a big fan of rye whiskey.
The port cask finished stuff was interesting but the three year old finished in new oak barrels is stunningly good. Funny thing, when we were chatting and I was sampling, I stated my strong preference for that one whereupon he asked if I was a Scotch man. He said Bourbon drinkers go for the port cask while Scotch drinkers almost always like the other one.
—————-
Very interesting Q3 session at Monaco this morning. I was disappointed that Lewis didn’t get a good shot at a pole lap. Also somewhat surprised that Alonso, who had been so fast in practice, didn’t qualify higher. Monaco is a race where the driver really makes the difference so it’s not surprising to see Vettel on pole again. He’s like the reincarnation of Ayrton Senna.
——
Marinated some organic, pastured lamb loin chops in soy soss, garlic, mustard, rosemary. Tossed ’em on the grill. Made couscous with a handful of dried fruit – some currants, golden raisins and figs as best I recall (see above about the bourbon) – and some sliced almonds and also cashews. Sauted green beans with garlic and brown mustard seeds completed the plate.
Tonight I’m making lasagna. Its nothing special, I’ll just use some locally made artisanal sausage and a sauce made from canned San Marzano tomatoes. Oh, right, of course I make the pasta, of course. A salad and some garlic bread (artisanal baguette sliced on the diagonal into loooooong pieces, rubbed with lots of garlic and brushed with extra virgin oyl and butter) are de rigeur for a lasagna meal.
——-
PENIS.
——
POOP.
——
Also.
pups re: morels…is it possible to make a cream of shroom soup with them? or would that be wasting their awesomeness…
S.P.,
You had your chance, fat-ass. Stay out of my way.
Mmmmm shhrrooooommmmsssss….
Stay out of my way.
ooooh, nematode fight!!!
morels…is it possible to make a cream of shroom soup with them? or would that be wasting their awesomeness…
I am so fucking jealous you can’t believe. If I had a bunch of morels FOR FUCKING FREE you can be goddamn fucking sure a cream shroom soup would be on the menu. Make it even awesomer by using some other wild type too – shitaake, hen of the woods, porcini are all fab. When I make shroom soup I usually use some dried shitaakes and dried porcinis (things I _always_ have in the pantry) in addition to whatever fresh fungi. Use the water you soaked them in as part of your likwid, it’s verra verra flavorful. And use some plain button or criminis too to fill it out – they really do have a good flavor and make for an affordable shroom-rich soop. Some fresh thyme is a nice touch too. Strip the leaves into your sautéing pile of fungi.
Heh, I just remembered that *I* will almost certainly get some truffles this week. SUCK ON THAT bbkf! Hmmmm, creamy potato soup with black truffles. Yes, my jealousy is rapidly fading.
SUCK ON THAT bbkf!
heh…it’s weird but morels are the only shrooms teh hubby likes…that aren’t pharmacological that is…
you are welcome to come to mn next year for the harvest…
and thanks for the tips…
Michele Bachmann said,
May 29, 2011 at 1:16
S.P.,
You had your chance, fat-ass. Stay out of my way.
this made me laff…
I got nothin’ I’m stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again.
Actually, I’m lost in the rain in Jaurez.
Very interesting Q3 session at Monaco this morning.
I’ll say. I was surprised at how severe Perez’s accident appeared to be, given how much energy the barriers absorbed. Glad to find he’s OK. Vettel looks unstoppable, especially with his biggest threat starting 9th.
I expect Teh Donalde will be looking at the local Soapbox Derby to figure out what I’m talking about.
Due to both being a lazy bugger & not yet having had my “morning” coffee, I will simply reiterate my previous salutation in regards to the advent of the neonate Dudeskull upon the mortal coil:
ALL HAIL THE NEW FLESH!
Donald Douglas said,
May 28, 2011 at 19:14 (kill)
Gee … imagine having such a total lack of self-esteem that you have an unquenchable need to keep right on blogwhoring among the same people who openly mock your ignorance – & such a howling deficit of personal context that you actually consider this petty he-said-she-said garbage worthy of its very own blog post, so you can give it the SERIOUS ANALYSIS it cries out for. Not to mention being far too much of a wannabe-griefer dickweed to inspire one iota of our pity, as opposed to salting another bowl of popcorn & laughing as we watch the other foot come firmly down (with short, purposeful strides) upon yet another rake.
Makes roasting in the belly of a Giant Slor sound kind of fun.
Why would we bother to click on DD’s links when he’s going to “moderate” all the clever comments we’re sure to leave?
His last link was to Althouse, who leaves up some mean comments, depending.
I just realised the Donalde has made DD sound like a bad thing. That takes some skill, yo.
Whatever Althouse was babbling about was incomprehensible beyond the butt-hurt of Meade’s crap being deleted.
I suppose I could advise her of that, but, well, you know …
Then we should call him DeeDee. Or Dee-Dee.
jim said,
May 29, 2011 at 2:30
You are too kind sir. I really mean that.
I offer “Donaldee-dee.”
Dee Dee King.
Actually, I’m lost in the rain in Jaurez.
Could be worse. Saigon… shit; I’m still only in Saigon.
I’m down and out in Paris and London.
I’m down and out in Beverly Hills.
To be candid, I do deserve it.
Big fucking deal. I’m lost in space with a mincing queen villain and June fucking Lockhardt for godsake.
I have a Rocky Mountain high….
Oh shut the fuck up all of you. We’ll all just slouch toward Babylon, shall we?
Behold! DD!
We’re lost in love. Which is, frankly, sticky.
So, WC, will HRT be on the grid tomorrow? I don’t think they will and if they aren’t it is probably a good thing. Monaco is too tight to have snails blocking the track.
Love is sticky. If you’re doing it rite.
Love is sticky. If you’re doing it rite.
Ooooo! Sacred love!
The worm: it is turning.
Solidarity is for Commiez!!!1111!!11!!!!!
Also: MOTION DENIED … & please enjoy the impending pimp-slap from all your “friends” of teh Breitbart Incorporated posse, Hannah – you’ve earned it.
VS, I’d like to remind you that your primary obligation is to keep us entertained. Just because you’ve transferred some of your DNA to another host does not relieve you of that obligation.
Also, too, Mission Accomplished!!!!!!
Re: Blartblart,
The clown has zero credibility. Every fucking time he smears someone, it comes out in short order that it was total crap. It looks like Weiner is calling bullshit on it. Good for him. The yfrog pic is already being shown as shooped. I hope Weiner gets an investigation going. I’m sure the FBI could learn some interesting things going through ip address logs to see who posted the hack tweet. I’d say it rises to the standard of libel/slander. Someone needs to sue Blartblart back to the early cretaceous.
Anyone else think they could be stupid enough to post from a company ip?
Oops. I forgot. Note to B^4 especially: the couscous also had some diced preserved lemon. Faaaabulous!
I offer “Donaldee-dee.”
That works. Especially if you say it in Scarlett O’Hara’s voice.
When did Donalde become Donaldee? Is the extra “e” for extra pee?
The National Review Caribbean Cruise makes me wish the Bermuda Triangle were a real thing.
Love the advert, the way all the dickwads heads come spinning up, and the catchy, oh-so-retro, ‘xx reasons’ tag-line, straight out some 70’s commercial!
But honestly, trapped on a ship with those dickwads, is there honestly anything worse? I feel for the staff, is there not a law against that sort of shit!!!
on, and congrats, vs, hope teh little one has the charm & intelligence of yer good self!
But honestly, trapped on a ship with those dickwads
Where are the Pirates Of The Caribbean when you need them?
attempted to shift the onus of the blame
Now that’s just wrong. Why not write “attempted to shift the onus of the blame of the responsibility of the guilt” while you’re at it?
Shifting the onus.
Shifting the onus.
That happened to me once. My dick was in traction for weeks.
Love is sticky. If you’re doing it rite.
AstroGlide will help with that.
I think it “devastated” in his face.
I deny the bukkake implications.
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
Carl has dissected frogs that are alive and happy to this day.
Dissecting the frog.
Secreting Batman.
Good to see that Loadpants stll has his chops. Not writing chops but chops none the less.
Good to see that Loadpants stll has his chops. Not writing chops but chops none the less.
There is something decidedly not kosher about Goldberg’s chops.
Drank a fair bit of it last night and I am now a bourbon believer. Its high rye content (36%) is surely part of the allure for me as I am a big fan of rye whiskey.
Colour me intrigued. I’m a Bulleit swiller because of the bite it gets from its “high” rye content of around 30%. It’s kinda odd since I’m not particularly partial to rye whiskey (despite teh Canuckianism).
That happened to me once. My dick was in traction for weeks.
W(INCING)O(UT)L(OUD)!!!!
Hey, a while ago me and my mates got some mushrooms from around the Ashdown Forest in East Sussex / Kent.
Apparently they were ceps and bolettes, not morels. My job was to drive and film. And to call an ambulance if any of the chefs got it wring.
Coloring the Dragon-King.
Swilling the Bulleit