May
18

You’re So Brave To Expose All Those Popsicle Woes




Posted at 21:07 by Tintin


ABOVE: Debbie Does A Muslim Peesicle

Shorter Debbie “The Other Muslim-Hating Shrieking Harpy” Schlüsselscheiße, www.muslimscankissmyfatbutt.com:
Philly Muslim Ice Cream Truck Driver Had Urine Popsicles to Sell

  • Muslims are using the revenue from selling pee-sicles to Jewish kids to fund international jihad*

*The only evidence that Frau Schlüsselscheiße has for this vast conspiracy and hitherto unknown terror-funding mechanism is a bottle of frozen urine found in one ice cream truck that was pulled over with a drunk driver behind the wheel. He did not have “urine popsicles to sell.” It’s not quite clear either how the drunk guy was going to turn a bottle of frozen urine into peesicles but I’m sure that there is a jihadist manual somewhere that explains the process. Still, it seems that peeing directly into the popsicle mold is a much more efficient process. And, not to be overly particular, but the peesicle conspiracy, due to the likely absence of repeat customers, strikes me as an idea unlikely to provide funding for much more than a suicide firecracker attack.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


805 Comments »

  1. mew said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:09

    Oh, holy hell.

  2. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:10

    This is how you de-rail a discussion of the finer points of distilled spirits?!

  3. mark f said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:14

    It’s not quite clear either how the drunk guy was going to turn a bottle of frozen urine into peesicles but I’m sure that there is a jihadist manual somewhere that explains the process.

    Jam a stick into it and break the bottle?

  4. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:15

    Hee hee!

    When police searched the Trenton, N.J. man’s truck, they say they found boxes of wine along with the bottles of urine.

    Don’t tell you-know-who.

  5. Typical Republican said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:16

    Incidents like this prompt many of us to claim to be Independent.

    Liberals. Hmf

  6. Typical Independent said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:19

    Liberals are just as bad when it comes to ginning up fake controversy.

    I don’t have time to keep track of examples. I work for a living.

    Liberals. Hmf.

  7. mark f said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:19

    I like that the commenters there (only a few, amazingly enough) seem to think only a fellow terrorist could find Debbie’s theory unlikely.

  8. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:22

    When I approach the ice-cream truck to ask for my frozen ice Spongebob Squarepants treat sealed in its plastic wrapper, YOU BET I ask how fresh it is. If it wasn’t manufactured in the truck between parking spot and playground I want nothing to do with it.

  9. Tintin drives an ice cream truck said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:24

    Now we all know what the flavor of the month is in Trenton.

  10. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:24

    She points out alcohol is “haram” and assumes this means the guy is a hypocritical devout islamist instead of figuring maybe he’s just not that into religion. The hand wringing about the IRS not getting it’s share is also rich. Yes, it’s a gross story, I’m glad he’s been arrested for drunk driving and the van impounded for sanitation violations etc, but come on, some poor slob peeing in a water bottle is not a fucking jihad, you ignorant ass.

  11. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:24

    I remember when I was a little kid and the ice cream truck would come by. We’d all run out to the street to get our frozen treats. I always wanted a bomb pop, my sister always wanted an ice cream sammich.

    Alex, the kid down the street who dressed kinda funny, always had mittens strapped to his sleeves even when it was 90 degrees and sunny, and spent the entire summer eating clods of dirt in the yard, always asked for the driver’s “special popsicle.” It was always a sickly and totally unappetizing yellow color, but Alex loved his “special popsicle.”

    Long story short, that ice cream truck driver got arrested for doing unseemly things with his other special popsicle. Alex is now on the Texas School Board of Education.

    There’s a lesson in that, somewhere…

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:26

    Long story short, that ice cream truck driver got arrested for doing unseemly things with his other special popsicle. Alex is now on the Texas School Board of Education.

    Now YOU know…the rest of the story.

  13. Ron Howard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:31

    …always had mittens strapped to his sleeves even when it was 90 degrees and sunny…

    don’t know why but this almost made me bust out laughing in my cube

  14. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:32

    Now YOU know…the rest of the story.

    Sadly, yes.

  15. beejeez said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:34

    I guess this is why I’m a Christian. Who ever heard of a priest doing something perverted?

  16. Another Kiwi said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:35

    No claims that Obama was the ice cream guy yet? They are getting slack

  17. Spaghetti Lee said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:36

    When you want only the best analysis of forced urophagia, I guess Debbie’s your gal.

  18. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:38

    Which one of youse is Gene?

    Gene: How can one plan to sell “urine popsicles”, when said urine was stored in a bottle.
    Worry01: You store it that way pumpkin, and then melt it down and refreeze it in a popsicle mold.

    BRILLIANT!

  19. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:38

    dammit, beejeez…i was just going to ask which sadly left that comment at pee pee debbies!!!

  20. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:39

    I hear that there are bathrooms in the ice-cream factory. YES THAT IS CORRECT PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING WHERE THE ICE CREAM IS MADE.

  21. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:40

    So I posted a comment over there. Let’s see how long it lasts!

    Are you serious?

    1) The man’s religion was never mentioned. How do you know he’s Muslim? Hint: there are other religions in the region from which Mr. Hassan likely came.

    2) Was there any evidence that the man was trying to sell his urine to anybody? Why no, no there wasn’t.

    Please. Get help. Try to control your paranoia.

  22. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:42

    21 comments and sadly, no poopsicle?

  23. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:42

    YES THAT IS CORRECT PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING WHERE THE ICE CREAM IS MADE.

    If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”

  24. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:45

    So I posted a comment over there. Let’s see how long it lasts!

    also, too…i think tigris needs to post her comment over there…my favorite part of this is that they are all yelling for him to be fined and his license taken away…aren’t though ‘government’ functions? should the invisible hand of the pee-free marketplace make the decision?

  25. CRA said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:45

    Heh. So in comments, Gene and Benji reasonably object to the assertion that the drunk had urine popsicles for sale, as opposed to bottles of urine, one frozen. Wingnuts respond:

    “You store it that way pumpkin, and then melt it down and refreeze it in a popsicle mold. [...] You really do need to work on your taqqiya”

    Gotta love these wingnut experts on Islam. Yes, Gene is a muslim plant trying to sully an otherwise rational discussion. And: why freeze the piss the first time, if you’re just gonna melt it down for the popsicle mold? And: do ya know where you’re not likely to find a fucking popsicle mold? In an ice cream truck, or the owner’s dwelling. At risk of being wrong, I argue that ice cream men don’t make their own treats.

    “Come on Gene…do we really need to explain to you how it’s done? You surely can’t be that limited in your imagination.”

    They’re still convinced that if Gene knew how popsicles are made (liquids (hello! muslim urine?!) are frozen in molds, or, as in the above example, frozen, thawed, and frozen again) he’d see that Schlussel’s headline is unobjectionable. And anyway, what kind of American can’t imagine all sorts of heinous stuff about muslims, and doesn’t enjoy such flights presented as probable? No kind, therefore he’s a muslim hiding behind a tricksy veil of taqqiya.

  26. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:45

    If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”

    oh, this made me laff…and i was just about to exit this place and try to get some actual work done today…damn you helmut…

  27. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:46

    If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”

    Every once in a while one of the workers falls in to the giant, open ice cream vats and sinks slowly out of sight…

    …only to re-emerge several hours later and several hundred pounds heavier…

  28. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:48

    …only to re-emerge several hours later and several hundred pounds heavier…

    and then pee out the ensuing fire…

  29. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:49

    PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING

    Finally a Sadly, No! thread that addresses all my needs.
    ~

  30. Pinko Punko said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:49

    CHUCKLES??

    Was Tucker Carlson’s house on the route?

  31. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:50

    Love the comments over there, especially Gene who was pointing out to the nutters that in fact urine is sterile. Gross and smelly perhaps, but not likely to sicken anyone even when stored frozen in a bottle in the same freezer with foodstuffs.

    Haven’t these folks ever heard of urine-bombs? Long-haul truckers – the nasty ones, anyway – have made it a habit to piss into water bottles and throw them out the window. It’s become something of an issue in states hosting the major coast-to-coast trucking routes, because…gross. Someone has to go out and pick up all the piss bottles, both broken and unbroken.

    Perhaps I should go over there and point this out, lest the commenters form an attachment to the idea that only Muslims piss in bottles.

  32. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:51

    Since when are ice cream truck drivers expected to be blameless paragons of whatever faith they practice? In Rome do the Jesuits defer to the ice cream vendors on the thornier points of trinitarian dogma? In Kyoto, do the Shintoists hang on the every word of purveyors of frozen treats as pearls of received wisdom? In Jerusalem are the ice cream vendors prized among the Rabbi as interpreters of the Torah? Do the monk of Tibet and Nepal point to the path of the ice cream truck driver as the road to enlightenment?

  33. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:51

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo

    PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING IN THE STREET
    ~

  34. Another Kiwi said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:52

    It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?

  35. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:54

    Perhaps I should go over there and point this out, lest the commenters form an attachment to the idea that only Muslims piss in bottles.

    well, the schlussel has already firmly implanted it in their minds that all ice cream truck drivers are muslims and vice versa, so i don’t imagine this is far behind…

    i’ve also noticed that the schlussel has no advertisers on her site…hmmmm…wouldn’t it be funny if somebody clicked on that link and professed to be a muslim ice cream truck driver?

  36. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:54

    This sounds like the lowest-budget remake of “Soylent Green” EVAH.

  37. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:55

    Worry01: You store it that way pumpkin, and then melt it down and refreeze it in a popsicle mold.

    That’s just gross.

    Everybody knows things taste awful if you freeze them twice.

  38. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:56

    It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?

    this has been pointed out to the commenters but so far their response has been ‘unpossible! he’s a mooslim terrist!’

  39. VS said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:58

    POOPcicles are funnier.

  40. Tintin said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:58

    Pinko Punko said,
    May 18, 2011 at 21:49 · Edit

    CHUCKLES??

    Was Tucker Carlson’s house on the route?

    Now THAT is some inside baseball

  41. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:58

    It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?

    He’s a MUSLIM, of COURSE he was saving it to feed to Jewish tykes. DUH.

  42. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:59

    Also, too.

    Did they find any popsicle molds in the truck, or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?

  43. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:59

    Now THAT is some inside baseball

    High and inside though.

    Ball 1
    ~

  44. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:59

    POOPcicles are funnier.

    Two girls, one stick?

  45. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:02

    Did they find any popsicle molds in the truck, or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?

    Stop making sense.
    ~

  46. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:02

    direct quote from debbie:
    They also determined that the condition of the entire truck and the ice cream was unsanitary.

    no, the article you linked to did NOT say anything about the ICE CREAM being unsanitary…

    or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?

    exactly! does debbie really think that he’s just selling unwrapped ice cream treats?! i mean, what the hell…people don’t really think she’s a credible news source, do they?

  47. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:02

    This HAS to be Peak Stoopit™.
    .

  48. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:03

    I haz been slapped down!

    WC: Get a brain, moron. Hassan is a Muslim surname. Even the cops said not to buy ice cream from him, that it’s unsanitary. DS

    This gives me a sad, but I rally:

    Yes, the authorities tend to frown on people storing their urine alongside the food products they sell.

    You may not have noticed but this is somewhat different from a VAST MUSLIM CONSPIRACY to sell pee-pops to kids and hand the ENORMOUS PROFITS to their jihadi comrades. I admit this distinction may be too subtle for you and some of your readers, which is why I’m helpfully pointing it out.

    me <== helper

  49. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:04

    POOPcicles are funnier.

    ‘oh, hullloo, miss debbie schlussel! would you like a lovely chocolate dipped frozen banana? special for you, just today…’

  50. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:04

    Got out the boat. From the comments:

    Are you serious?

    1) The man’s religion was never mentioned. How do you know he’s Muslim? Hint: there are other religions in the region from which Mr. Hassan likely came.

    2) Was there any evidence that the man was trying to sell his urine to anybody? Why no, no there wasn’t.

    Please. Get help. Try to control your paranoia.

    To which crazy lady replied:

    WC: Get a brain, moron. Hassan is a Muslim surname. Even the cops said not to buy ice cream from him, that it’s unsanitary. DS

    The insanity is epic over there…

  51. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:06

    me <== helper

    Too close to scary p.e.n.i.s. sign.

    Sorry, W.C., we know you tried.
    ~

  52. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:07

    wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?

  53. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:07

    WC: Get a brain, moron.

    Heh! Crazy lady also spelled moran rwong!

  54. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:09

    Hassan.

  55. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:13

    Hassan.

    So he’s IRISH? Holy fuck, Mr Bunny has REALLY gone downhill.

  56. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:13

    Hassan.

    sub…i feel it is your duty (heh) to go over and post that link for debs…

  57. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:14

    wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?

    No idea; it’s visible to me and, apparently, Geds too. F5 on the page?

  58. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:14

    Dammit. <CTL>F5 that is.

  59. Snorghagen said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:14

    PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING IN THE STREET

    We shall piss in France, we shall piss in the seas and oceans, we shall piss with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall poop on the beaches, we shall poop on the landing grounds, we shall poop in the fields and in the streets, we shall poop in the hills; we shall never tighten our rectums!

  60. Typical Independent said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:15

    … people don’t really think she’s a credible news source, do they?

    She reports thing I want to believe, so of course she is a credible source.

    Liberals. Hmf.

  61. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:16

    wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?

    No idea; it’s visible to me and, apparently, Geds too. F5 on the page?

    i did find it when i used safari…well, done you two! impressive that the crazy lady herself answered you!!!

  62. Muslim entrepenuer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:17

    Our studies show that within our target demographic the name “Pissicle” is favored by more than 3 to 1 over the name “Peecicle”. Please use the correct name in all future posts. The success of our jihad new business venture may be adversely affected otherwise.

  63. bbkf said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:18

    wc…way to use the link…how long before she has to scream that ‘he LOOKS mooslim?!?!?’

  64. Chris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:20

    Just saw the new thread. WOW… and they thought the water-fluoridation-communism conspiracy theory was bad. Now Muslims are attacking America by poisoning their kids one at a time with their own urine.

  65. Chris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:22

    Please. Get help. Try to control your paranoia.

    She’s not trying to control it, she’s trying to spread it. Scarier kind of bug than anything you’d catch from drinking urine.

  66. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:24

    Well, the ice cream truck has started make its rounds here in my neck of the woods again, and no worries, the driver isn’t a Muslim – not even dusky at all. Of course, he does play that creepy “Do Your Balls Hang Low” tune on his truck and I noticed a passing resemblance to John Wayne Gacy but he appears 100% WASP so…no worries.

  67. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:24

    They also determined that the condition of the entire truck and the ice cream was unsanitary.
    There could be rodents in there.
    MICE-BLOCKS!

  68. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:24

    Geds gets a love note from Lil’ Debbie too. W00t!

  69. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:26

    no worries.

    Yeah, selling ice cream in the street usually attracts the best people as job candidates.

  70. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:35

    From Substance’s link:
    Margaret Wood Hassan, a Democratic member of the New Hampshire Senate. She is of Irish background
    OR SO SHE SAYS.

  71. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:36

    Formerly Mr Softee, but no more!
    Always go to a reputable ice cream truck, like Mr McCool’s

  72. CRA said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:36

    Just because it’s sterile doesn’t mean our kids should ingest it! What if there are drugs in it? Alcohol we know.

    I know an old woman who made and distributed spinach pops to kids. (Really.) You see, kids love popsicles. They think they hate spinach and muslim piss, but they just haven’t tried them done right.

  73. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:42

    Hey, my uncle Marty is sterile, too… but I don’t want the neighborhood kids putting their lips around him!
    .

  74. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:45

    Yeah, selling ice cream in the street usually attracts the best people as job candidates.

    Reminds me of something out of Taibbi’s The Great Derangement. Taibbi was undercover at Rev. John Hagee’s church and going through this kind of group therapy at a retreat when he had to invent a cover story about his “wounds”:

    …What I settled on eventually was something that I thought was metaphorically similar to the truth about myself.

    “Hello,” I said, taking a deep breath. “My name is Matt. My father was an alchoholic circus clown who used to beat me with his oversized shoes.”

    The group twittered noticeably. Morgan’s eyes opened to tea-saucer size. I closed my own eyes and kept going, immediately realizing the mistake I’d made. There was no way this story was going to fly. But there was no turning back.

    “He’d be sitting there in his costume, sucking down a beer and watching television,” I heard myself saying. “And then sometimes, even if I just walked in front of the TV, he’d pull off one of those big shoes and just, you know – whap!”

    …I could tell that my coach and former soldier had been briefly possessed by the fear that a terrible joke was being played on his group. But then I actually saw him dismissing the thought – after all, who would do such a thing?

    This one fleeting error of judgment would leave me shackled to a rank character absurdity for the rest of my stay in Texas. Less than twenty-four hours later I would find myself reading aloud a passage from my “autobiography” describing a period of my father’s life when he had quit clowning to hand out fliers in a Fudgie the Whale costume outside a Carvel ice cream store:

    I laugh about it now, but once he chased me, drunk, in his Fudgie the Whale costume. He chased me into the bathroom, laid me across the toilet seat, and hit me with his fins, which underneath were still a man’s hands.

    Again no reaction from the group, aside from an affirming nod from Jose at the last part – his eyes said to me, I know what you mean about those fins.

    So yeah, those ice cream guys are all a bit shifty. Maybe that’s why Taibbi’s story passed muster.

  75. Snorghagen said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:48

    But, no worries, as the Koran and the Hadiths would say it’s okay to sell this to infidel kids.

    Holy scriptures always have extensive information about marketing food products made from excreta.

  76. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:49

    Icing the Cream.

  77. Uncle Marty said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:52

    Jeffy you know it hurts like hell freezing my banana every morning, and you never visit anymore.

  78. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:55

    Riffing on the old racially insensitive children’s joke:

    I’m a Muslim, I play trick
    I freeze peepee on a stick.

  79. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:55

    Geds gets a love note from Lil’ Debbie too. W00t!

    Awww, I’m an epic failure. I guess that means she’ll never let me touch her boobies behind the gym after the prom.

    Pout.

  80. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:56

    some poor slob peeing in a water bottle is not a fucking jihad, you ignorant ass.

    Peehad.

  81. Euphemonious Monk said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:57

    Epic flailure.

  82. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 18, 2011 at 22:57

    Cheech and Chong

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMlg9XaMWVQ&feature=related

  83. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:00

    Must be someone else’s uncle Marty. Mine was sterial ’cause he got all his junk blowed clean off in the Korean Conflict. Stepped on a land mine.
    .

  84. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:05

    Stepped on a land mine.

    Ow. Land mines and cluster bombs: not our best ideas as a species.

  85. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:05

    In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.

  86. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:07

    Just you wait, loony libs, soon the Mr. Softee song will be replaced by the call to prayer!!!

  87. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:11

    I thought the Mr. Softee song was the Viagara theme.

  88. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:13

    In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.

    At least using the blood of Christian babies in some sort of arcane, Jew-y scenario makes sense. Selling popsicles made of urine for Jihadist profit…not so much…

  89. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:16

    Also, after she bravely told Whale Chowder that Hassan = teh Mooslim, I celebrated the fact that I suddenly live in Ireland because I work with a guy named O’Reilly. This was her love note to me:

    G: Another brainless commenter. No, by that logic, a guy named O’Reilly must be Irish. And a guy named Hassan must be Muslim. And a guy named Shlomo must be Jewish or Israeli. Yup, logic is a stubborn thing, but, sadly, not as stubborn as your moronic attempt at an epic failure of a smart aleck comment. DS

    I said this:

    So you’re saying that my comment is wrong by dint of the fact that people sometimes leave their apparent place of origin?

    Which one of us doesn’t get the message now?

    It’s getting moderated as we speak…

  90. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:16

    Selling popsicles made of urine for Jihadist profit…not so

    Do they think that The Free Market has a watersports fetish? I mean, how successful could a pee purveyor possibly be?

  91. Looch said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:16

    My contribution over there:

    “Why are there no ads on this site?”

    I’m a dickens, aren’t I?

  92. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:17

    Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 18, 2011 at 21:10

    This is how you de-rail a discussion of the finer points of distilled spirits?!

    I bet a peesicle would still taste better than Cap’n Morgan’s… Not gonna find out though, no matter how swarthy the purveyor.

    Which made me think of…

    Purveying the poopsicle. [ick]

    and

    Parvez The Peesicle Perveyor of Persia — which almost got me to change my nym.

  93. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:17

    Uh-oh. I busted out the r-word at Debbie’s place; this could get ugly.

    I haven’t trolled a site in ages. What fun!

  94. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:18

    Do they think that The Free Market has a watersports fetish? I mean, how successful could a pee purveyor possibly be?

    I hear some guys pay a premium for that sort of service…

  95. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:22

    In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.

    … urine libel, Hostess cupcake desecration…

    Dirty bomb pops!

  96. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:23

    Uh-oh. I busted out the r-word at Debbie’s place; this could get ugly.

    Not no mo’. Looks like it’s down the Memory Hole with you…

  97. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:23

    What, no props for the Taibbi passage? Man, tough crowd. I laugh out loud every time I think about that story.

  98. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:24

    OK, who’s responsible for this:

    Excuse me sir do the Pissicle’s come in any other flavor?

    because I want to give you a high-five!

  99. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:25

    Not no mo’

    Nah, it’s there.

  100. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:25

    Dirty bomb pops!

    Pee Tee hee hee!

  101. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:25

    Tell her Hassan means “Cantor” in Hebrew… maybe the guy was Jewish!

  102. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:25

    At least using the blood of Christian babies in some sort of arcane, Jew-y scenario makes sense.
    The Blood Libel may have been the first excuse when someone wanted to start a pogrom, but it was not the only one. The Well-Poisoning libel was option #2.

    Well-poisoning had the advantage of being more flexible. When Philip the Fair decided to suppress the leprosariums in France and confiscate their considerable assets, he cooked up a story that the lepers were planning to poison wells, then tortured people until a few confessed.

    A few years later the money ran out so he had to suppress the Knights Templar and confiscate their assets.
    Sorry about the lack of spoiler alerts.

  103. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:26

    Excuse me sir do the Pissicle’s come in any other flavor?

    There’s an asparagus flavor, but that’s seasonal.

  104. tigris said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:26

    I laughed, Jennifer!

  105. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:27

    … urine libel, Hostess cupcake desecration…

    I am merely pedantic; tigris is funny with it.

  106. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:27

    no props for the Taibbi passage?

    Loved it. Hadn’t seen it before. I’ve learned that you can’t take the lack of a response to a particular post personally. It may be that it was lame or it may be…ooh! shiney!

  107. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:27

    What, no props for the Taibbi passage? Man, tough crowd. I laugh out loud every time I think about that story.

    Sorry. Been too busy staring at Lil Debbie’s site and hitting refresh with wide-eyed wonderment, in hopes that she will allow my comment through, acknowledge that I did have a valid point, and re-open my hopes for an evening of making out after the Spring Harvest Dance.

    I have a fetish for collagen-injected lips, crazy eyes, and crazier theories.

    I’m also hoping she’ll ask to look at my pissicle. Otherwise I’ve been keeping this thing in the freezer for a week for nothing…

  108. Uncle Marty said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:29

    NormanF begins with a gesture of tolerance:

    “You know – all that good stuff is for them.”

    Muslims can eat all the peesicles they like, it’s a free country.

    “But its not haram for them to harm our kids.”

    We have to draw the line somewhere, and NormanF suggests we look to Islamic legal concepts for guidance. So far, so good.

    “They slaughter Jewish babies in Israel. The depths of evil that comes from Islam has been plumbed yet.”

  109. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:29

    I have a fetish for collagen-injected lips, crazy eyes, and crazier theories.

    And here I was thinking you had a “Chunky Reese Witherspoon” fetish.

  110. CRA said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:31

    Jennifer, the Taibbi passage was fucking awesome.

  111. a different brad said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:31

    She’s disappearing comments, looks like. A comment linking to the wiki page on the surname Hassan has vanished, without trace, making her once again right that the name automatically means the person is of terroristic origin and not, say, Irish.

  112. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:32

    Propping the Taibbi Passage.

  113. Whale Chowder said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:34

    Sweet, all my comments are now “awaiting moderation.”

    I expect they’ll never see the light of day.

  114. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:38

    Googling for ‘ice-cream truck’ and ‘urban legend’ reveals a rich cultural tradition.

  115. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:41

    I expect they’ll never see the light of day.

    Just like Debbie’s poor last brain cell, gasping for air in the dark vacuum of her skull…

    And here I was thinking you had a “Chunky Reese Witherspoon” fetish.

    Ew. Gross. Who could possibly want to see someone who looks kinda like Reese Witherspoon naked?

  116. LittlePig said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:44

    Of course, he does play that creepy “Do Your Balls Hang Low” tune on his truck and I noticed a passing resemblance to John Wayne Gacy but he appears 100% WASP so…no worries.

    Interesting. It was “she’ll be coming ’round the mountain” in my neighborhood.

    I’m just glad he switched from ‘Turkey In The Straw’

  117. LittlePig said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:47

    And in re Trucker Bombs, the jugs usually survive being tossed to the roadside, grass grows up around them, and when the Highway Department bushhogs the medians…..splat!

    I expect we’ll see the first “Pissed-on Highway Department Employee Pissed Off” of the summer here presently.

  118. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:47

    Interesting. It was “she’ll be coming ’round the mountain” in my neighborhood.

    I’m just glad he switched from ‘Turkey In The Straw’

    Definitely different trucks. We’ve gotten nothing but “Do Your Balls Hang Low” for the past 3 or 4 years.

  119. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:50

    BTW, LittlePig, I’m developing a new product and need some guinea pi…er…volunteers to test – would you be willing to test drive a delicious cookie mix?

  120. Smut Clyde said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:50

    Tying this thread together with the previous one.

  121. Another Kiwi said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:52

    Frozen urine would be pretty sterile, unless you had some weird disease, I’m thinking a pseudomonas infection in which case you are NOT going to be driving around.
    Thus the point of the peesicles is to tell the tykesters that they have had wee wee ices and watch them throw up. HA HA until the cops come and then the jihad is kind of over. So the point of the peehad is the publication of the urinoscity, thus Oberleutnant Schlüsselscheiße is Jehadi Joan.

  122. Geds said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:52

    So, if I have her site open at the same time in IE and Firefox, I see totally different comments. Either she’s the worst censor ever, or she’s got the worst comment system ever.

    Or, I guess, both.

  123. LittlePig said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:54

    Definitely different trucks. We’ve gotten nothing but “Do Your Balls Hang Low” for the past 3 or 4 years.

    HA! Dumb me. Do Your Balls Hang Low is the same tune as Turkey In The Straw.

    Seriously, he finally changed it. Praise Dog.

  124. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:56

    Smut Clyde said,

    Tying this thread together with the previous one.

    I knew I shouldn’t have clicked the link… But yes, that does tie the threads together.

  125. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:57

    Do Your Balls Hang Low is the same tune as Turkey In The Straw.

    More like dumb ME. I didn’t know they were the same. The only part of Turkey in the Straw I remember is the chorus. Anyway, leave it up to my gutter-mind to think of it as the “Do Your Balls Hang Low” song.

  126. Snarla said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:57

    But, no worries, as the Koran and the Hadiths would say it’s okay to sell this to infidel kids.

    They would, huh? If what?

    DS’s site is the last site I’d ever go to voluntarily. Too much concentrated willful stupidity.

  127. LittlePig said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:58

    BTW, LittlePig, I’m developing a new product and need some guinea pi…er…volunteers to test – would you be willing to test drive a delicious cookie mix?

    Sure, but it would probably be my son doing the test driving (as far as tasting goes anyhow). An A1C of 7.2 in February last year led my doctor to make me forswear all cookies-cakes-ice-cream, etc.etc . I’ve pretty much lost all taste for the stuff. Now he’s bitching about red meat and tri-glycerides….

    But on the good side, I’m down 15 pounds and last A1C was 4.7.

  128. Jennifer said,

    May 18, 2011 at 23:59

    Having a kid do the testing might be even better to see how fool-proof it is and how quickly they could prepare it. What’s his favorite flavor?

  129. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:04

    Curses! Foiled again! WP, you syphlitic whore.

    I know these are all gonna show up eventually, but you might not be here when they do so again, what would be your son’s favorite type of cookie? I’ve got oatmeal choc. chip, oatmeal raisin, triple chocolate, white chocolate macadamia, peanut butter and coconut pecan.

  130. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:05

    Get a brain, moron. Hassan is a Muslim surname

    Heeeyyy, wait a minute…Schlüssel…. So why in the hell is a GERMAN bitching about our country? Get the hell out of a America, you damn kraut!

  131. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:05

    Definitely the oatmeal raisin.

  132. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:06

    Two fucking geedunk-mobiles in my ‘hood. One plays “The Entertainer” (theme from The Sting) one plays “Pop Goes The Weasel.”

  133. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:08

    Ok…now how the hell do I get it to you? Email me – malcontented at comcast dot net.

  134. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:08

    Man, Scott Joplin would be a big step up.

    And “Pop Goes The Weasel” immediately triggers “Punch Drunks” in my mental cinema, so no problems there….

  135. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:09

    Ok…now how the hell do I get it to you? Email me – malcontented at comcast dot net

    OK. I’ve got the day off tomorrow so it shouldn’t be a big deal. I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).

  136. Snorghagen said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:11

    Newt Gingrich has won the war on sheep.

  137. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:12

    Wish I could get YouTube here. I keep thinking Milton Berle sang “The Entertainer” on The Muppet Show. Gonna drive me nuts until I get to the house.

  138. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:13

    DS’s site is the last site I’d ever go to voluntarily. Too much concentrated willful stupidity.

    Do you see a future filled with Schlüssel rolling?

    Hmm… Schlüssel Roll sounds like a pastry.

  139. LittlePig said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:13

    With scheiße filling….

  140. DrDick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:16

    Muslims are using the revenue from selling pee-sicles to Jewish kids to fund international jihad

    God, I hate it when wingnuts share their sexual fantasies like this.

  141. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:18

    “Ew. Gross. Who could possibly want to see someone who looks kinda like Reese Witherspoon naked?”

    I suppose you could ask a Bree Olsen fan.

  142. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:19

    Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips? Or is that another Bree?

  143. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:21

    Damned if I remember, Jennifer. Not gonna Google-image search her at work. She’s what I thought of when Chunky Reese came up again.

  144. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:21

    Newt Gingrich has won the war on sheep.

    Newt’s press secretary writes the breathless, overheated prose of a shitty romance novelist. I expect the cover of this one to have a ripped, shirtless Newt, perhaps shielding a busty, crazy-eyed Callista from the ovine onslaught.

  145. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:27

    Well y’know, it is the first X bars of either number played again & again, over & over.

    Those Punch Drunks Stooges: Been popular in one medium or another for almost 80 yrs.

    Admittedly, I’ve yet to go outside & pop a cap in one of their tires or pee-soaked delicacies, so it’s not entirely intolerable.

    Dwarf Rooskie saucer-men! There was stuff in the Daily Tina Beastweek from that book I’d contemplated typing two lines about & excerpting (all of it completely sensible & in line w/ currently accepted leftist narrative, not a Red dwarf to be seen) but the urge to lie down or something overtook me.

    Saved by sloth.

  146. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:28

    a ripped shredded, shirtless Newt

    Rose colored glasses for my mind’s eye.

  147. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:29

    It has to be said:

    Debbie Schlussel: Two Boobs, One Pop

  148. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:29


    But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich

    Newt’s press secretary writes the breathless, overheated prose of a shitty romance novelist.

    My money is on an extensive career of writing fanfic.

  149. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:33

    I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).

    See: System, Repression Inherent in.

    Seriously, haven’t all you libs realized the evil of gov’t. yet?
    FREEEEE-DOMS!!!

  150. Bob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:34

    Remember this gem of Debbie’s?

    “Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy”

    But as it turned out Tinkerbell was in disguise as part of the plot.

  151. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:37

    I have to get my lawn mower working

    Munching the grass?

  152. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:38

    “Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy”

    I’d still do her.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    What?

  153. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:41

    Applause for “peehad.”

    Teh Taibbi bit made me lol, too.

  154. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:47

    I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).

    Those guys are Nazis. One of them tried to give me a hard time about the alley a few years after I moved in – this would have been the year after I cut down the fricken’ forest of privet hedge the previous owners had let run rampant, so I got pretty fired up about the fact that the alley behind MY house was clear and that he SHOULD have come by 2 years previously before I bought the place and cleaned it up, as it would have saved me a tremendous amount of work. He kept insisting that I needed to clean up the alley, so I walked him out there, pointed out the cornerstakes and that the stuff he wanted cut was NOT on or abutting my property. So Code Enforcement sat and fumed for many years until last year, when they saw their chance to strike.

    I got a notice on the door and, since I had just mowed out front, assumed it was in response to the jungle in the back yard. So I mowed the back yard and figured that would be the end of it. Not so. Code Enforcement shows up AGAIN about 3 weeks later. I pretend to have never gotten the first notice, because at this point I can’t imagine what the fuck they’re upset about. Turns out, seriously – they’re complaining about some 10 dead coneflowers in the front flower bed, which I left standing so birds could get the seedheads. I’m asking, “really? You’re making a second trip here over some spent flowers?” They say “we had a complaint from someone so we have to follow up.” I’m like, really? I’ve got a neighbor who’s that big of an asshole? So I chopped down the fucking plants, then went and looked up the code – it stipulates “no uncultivated plants over 10″ in height.” Well, flowers are cultivated plants, even if they’re dead. And I’ve got the city on my ass over 10 dead coneflowers?

    That’s when I decided – if anything like that ever happens again, I’m plowing up the fucking front yard and turning it into a corn field, complete with a sign that says, “next time you have an issue with my yard, perhaps you should speak to me about it.” Corn is undisputably a “cultivated plant,” so if anyone wants to get cute with the assholery via Code Enforcement, we can play that game.

  155. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:50

    “Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?”

    Shit I get it, you’re thinking of the Olsen twins. This Bree’s a porn star. The Olsen twins have never been on my radar, and are strange looking, not at all like Reese Witherspoon.

  156. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:51

    Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?

    No.

  157. Anonymous said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:54

    Heeeyyy, wait a minute…Schlüssel…. So why in the hell is a GERMAN bitching about our country? Get the hell out of a America, you damn kraut!

    Obviously demanding a copy of the long-form birth certificate is in order.

  158. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 0:57

    This Bree’s a porn star

    A goddess to certain people.

    She has Sheeny notoriety.

  159. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:08

    Hey, anybody got a link to the Obama “Death Dealer” pic?

    AFAF

  160. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:16

    This is the Bree I was thinking of…Bree Walker.

  161. a different brad said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:16

    Hehe, now my comments pointing out her comment deletions are awaiting moderation too.

    M.- has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music? NYC has, thankfully. I used to egg them before that, when they’d park on the corner and play it non-stop for 4-5 hours, but i also lived a few floors up and had the proper vantage and ability to vanish into the surroundings.

  162. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:16

    I’d still do her.

    The real question w/ Tintinactor is who he wouldn’t “do.”

  163. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:24

    has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music?

    Not in my zone! Car alarms are limited to a reasonable period, but nothing seems to stop these two.

    No 4-5 hr. park & play here ‘though. They’re like sharks, they keep moving.

  164. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:24

    Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?

    Depends which way their moving: up or down.

  165. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:25

    M.- has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music? NYC has, thankfully

    We have?

  166. Geds said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:25

    The real question w/ [Tintin]actor is who he wouldn’t “do.”

    I believe that it was Descartes who attempted to argue that god must exist because god is the greatest thing imaginable, but that which is real is, by definition, better than that which is merely imagined.

    Ergo, there exists nothing that actor wouldn’t do. Descartes must also be able to prove the negative. Inverse. Reverse. Whatever.

    Also…I don’t know the strikethrough code.

  167. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:38

    Who said this

    “Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”

  168. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:40

    Joe Biden?

  169. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:42

    “Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”

    I’m thinking it’s Newt, feeling vindictive.

  170. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:45

    Newt was never in the Senate, though.

    I might have guessed Feingold, except I can’t imagine him saying it.

  171. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:49

    Newt was never in the Senate, though.

    DOH! Ignore the man behind the cretin, folks.

  172. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:49

    John McCain

  173. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:54

    In response to Santorum’s “McCain doesn’t understand enhanced interrogation” idiocy, no doubt.

  174. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:55

    <strike>

    <s> doesn’t work, even if preview pretends it does.

  175. Another Kiwi said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:56

    I googled who said that. Heh heh, the old coot gets a bit snarky after a couple of bowls of wee wee icecream.

  176. Jennifer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:57

    Well that’s totally a McCain thing to say. I erred by thinking that it had to be someone retired, that no sitting senator would say something so uncivil about a former colleague, and that it had to be a Democrat. I should have known.

    Shit…here comes the ice cream truck…

  177. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2011 at 1:58

    “Alaska Supreme Court suspends Shea’s law license”

    Why is this funny? Because . . .

    “Shea is a former U.S. Attorney for Alaska who served in the early 1990s. Later, when Sarah Palin was governor, he helped draft ethics reform recommendations for her administration.”

    Read more: http://www.adn.com/2011/05/18/1869217/alaska-supreme-court-suspends.html#ixzz1MkoYgDh8

  178. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 2:05

    I erred by thinking that it had to be someone retired, that no sitting senator would say something so uncivil about a former colleague, and that it had to be a Democrat

    I think it was safe for McCain’s camp to say this because Santorum is a frothy mix of has-been and utter joke.

  179. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2011 at 2:05

    It was McCain aide Mark Salter actually

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/18/976961/-Santorum:-I-respect-McCains-service,-but-he-still-doesnt-understand-how-torture-works?via=blog_1

  180. a different brad said,

    May 19, 2011 at 2:28

    Actor- It’s not always well enforced outside Manhattan, I’ve noticed, but there have at least been limits in place for years now. ASFAIK they’re only permitted to play when in motion, and there’s further limits regarding how long they can play on a particular block even then.

  181. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 2:29

    “Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”

    I’m unfamiliar with Santorum. But I doubt if he could match either Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann in pure, blind stupidity. For some reason, Republicans seem to like their women dumb as boxes of rocks.

  182. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 2:54

    something about the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck … I’m too spifflicated yo tpye it.

  183. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:07

    http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/rick_santorum.html

    I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.
    Rick Santorum

    Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?
    Rick Santorum

    My feeling is, well, if it’s my money, I have a right to judge.
    Rick Santorum

    The idea is that the state doesn’t have rights to limit individuals’ wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desires.

  184. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:14

    Santorum is exceptionally dumb. He is more polished than Palin or Bachmann at the sentence level. Idea-wise, however …

    “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told a South Carolina audience yesterday. “And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom.” (My point quoting him is not to debate history, esp. since Santorum is afactual, emotional, shallow.)

    And on and on. He is the biggest doofus alive, a dangerous religious fanatic, and a creepy fetus-fondler, which is another story.

  185. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:16

    Is this the PG13 version of the blood libel?

    Or the Pee G 13?

    Or the Pee Pee 13?…

    OK, I got nuthin’.

  186. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:29

    “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told a South Carolina audience yesterday. “And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom.” (My point quoting him is not to debate history, esp. since Santorum is afactual, emotional, shallow.)

    He’s semi-right. If memory serves, the first place the crusaders sacked was the very Christian city of Constantinople, and when they finally got to the actual Muslim lands, Jews (of course, who else?) got it as bad as anyone.

    So, while it was aggression, it certainly wasn’t limited to Islam. An early example, I suppose, of what happens when you point pig-ignorant, ass-backwards racists at anyone that looks brown and squeal “Look! He’s Muslim!”

  187. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:33

    Santorum could care less about history. He’s saying serious-sounding stuff. The broader context is that he likes Christian aggression. “Onward Christian soldiers!” he says later in the speech.

  188. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:34

    …And means it literally and without irony, is what I’m getting at. And he was a U.S. senator.

  189. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:42

    But like so many of his kind, he loves aggression but is enraged and indignant if anyone calls it aggression. He wants to do the wrong thing, but still receive praise and adulation as if he weren’t.

    So much of the GOP’s ideology reminds me of when little kids tell obvious lies and then get upset when the parents don’t believe them, because the parents aren’t being fair to them or something.

  190. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:49

    I know this got a little tiresome before, but it’s been a while, so….

    Richard John Santorum==Darn, Junior; hot charms!

    Plus, Newton Leroy Gingrich==Only once, right-winger.

    or:

    Growing incoherently.

  191. Pupienus Tintinus (does that ring a bell?) said,

    May 19, 2011 at 3:57

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9237.html#comment-586620

    PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:03 (kill)

    Sort of on topic, perhaps my favorite political bumper sticker of all time appeared in Pa when we were preparing to (finally) ditch the Santorum. Just two words, “Dump Rick” plus ’06? or something. But the font and spacing etc were *very* well done. It’s impossible to look at one and NOT read “Dum Prick”

    I still have one around here somewhere….

    Alas, I can not find an image and I do NOT have it anymore – I looked.

  192. Typical Independent said,

    May 19, 2011 at 4:01

    Rick Santorum is a fine American who is unfairly slammed by the professional left just because he spoke out against the human on box-turtle sexual exhibitions that the Dumbocrats were trying to shove down the throats of schoolchildren when Clinton was president.

    Liberals. Hmf.

  193. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 19, 2011 at 4:42

    I read the linked post, and I want to be sure I understand. There’s ONE GUY who DIDN’T DO something (pee popsicles) and to her this provides sufficient proof of a VAST CONSPIRACY to do that thing?

    Did this woman graduate from high school? Hell, did she get out of Grade Six? Let’s see what else we can “prove” by this method of argument:

    1) I saw a woman driving a car the other day who signaled a right turn then came to a full stop at the red light before turning, thus proving that women can’t drive!

    2) The other day, this dude walked past me on the sidewalk and totally didn’t check me out thus proving that he’s gay.

    3) Yesterday, I dropped a ball and it fell to the floor, proving that gravity doesn’t work in my living room!

    It works for everything!

  194. Anonymous said,

    May 19, 2011 at 5:08

    For some reason, Republicans seem to like their women dumb as boxes of rocks.

    And/or straight out of the Uncanny Valley.

  195. Snorghagen said,

    May 19, 2011 at 5:33

    I’m unfamiliar with Santorum. But I doubt if he could match either Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann in pure, blind stupidity. For some reason, Republicans seem to like their women dumb as boxes of rocks.

    Don’t forget the late, great Helen Chenoweth, who combined extreme wingnuttery, gooey religiosity, and deep-down stupiditude with lots and lots of copulation. One of her fellow Idaho Republicans said she was living proof that you can literally fuck your brains out.

    If memory serves, the first place the crusaders sacked was the very Christian city of Constantinople

    They didn’t get around to sacking Constantinople until the Fourth Crusade. They sacked Jerusalem on the First, along with plenty of pillaging, slaughtering of Jews, and other holy activity.

  196. Pryme said,

    May 19, 2011 at 5:38

    Not one Bear Grylls joke or reference. Not one. For shame…

  197. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 5:59

    Don’t forget the late, great Helen Chenoweth, who combined extreme wingnuttery, gooey religiosity, and deep-down stupiditude with lots and lots of copulation. One of her fellow Idaho Republicans said she was living proof that you can literally fuck your brains out.

    Oh yes–we remember Helen up here in the Northwest. She is definitely a shoo-in for the dumb bitch hall of fame.

  198. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:00

    Helen was doing the rabid psycho wingnut thing before it got popular, by the way. Forerunner to the figurative teabaggers.

  199. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:07

    clark is my new hero…here’s his comment to li’l debbie:

    You don’t by any chance like to monger hate, do you? It’s hard to watch an unbiased news video of this story and then read your blatant condemnation of an entire religion. I like that you post the transcript of the story, but conveniently leave out the part at the end where the tow truck driver remarks how wrong and inappropriate it was for him to be driving around drunk and serving ice cream to children. Funny, how a NORMAL person sees the urine in a bottle as a side-effect of a drunk person stuck in a van for hours. Wow, it’s almost as if he thinks people do stupid things when they’re drunk. Imagine that! If you want to condemn people for getting drunk, pissing in water bottles, and putting them in refrigerators, then you should start rounding up obnoxious, white college guys. If you want to try and wrap this into a terrorism angle, then you’re just connecting dots that DON’T EXIST.

    I couldn’t even make it past the first paragraph without laughing at the idea that you ACTUALLY think inner-city ice cream vendors are laundering money to terrorist organizations. Wow! After the price of gas, maintenance, ice cream, and wages to live on, that must leave him with a whole 35 cents to donate to his “terrorist brothers back home”. Those remarks are obnoxious, and I am fully aware that you are perpetuating hate against an entire religious organization. How do I know you’re an unabashed racist? Well…

    First: you CAN have the name Hassan without being Muslim. SORRY. Just because you might have the name O’Reilly and be considered Irish, doesn’t mean having the name Hassan makes you Muslim. There’s a difference between a COUNTRY and a RELIGION, you idiot. Case in point: the famous actor Kamal HASSAN was actually born to a Hindu family in India. Not only that, but he has been known to consider himself an ATHEIST!

    Second reason I know you’re racist: All the news story did was talk about how unsanitary and disgusting this man’s behavior (and vehicle) was. He was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving NOT for selling frozen urine to children. But YOU prefer to make that your central “argument” (used VERY loosely), and then go so far as to try and connect his selling of “urine popsicles” to an act of funding terrorism? Are you SERIOUS?

    Third reason I know you’re a racist: In the second paragraph of your “story” you call Hassan…Hussein. That’s right, you did it. No, it’s okay. I’m sure it was a slip-up. I do it all the time. I accidentally called my mom “Hitler” the other day. These things happen.

    And before you go off on any tangents, let me just say that I’m a white Catholic male from America. I don’t plant trees, I don’t cry at SPCA commercials, and I don’t always vote for the same people. I believe Mr. Hassan should lose his truck and his job just like any other person would if they were intoxicated and unsanitary while they were supposed to be serving the public.

    But still…
    I’ve never seen someone cram so much hate and ignorance into 3 paragraphs. Bravo. Freakin’ bravo.

  200. M.A.M.Ed.-but-still-kicking said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:37

    Hear-hear, bbkf. Calling the hypocrites out for their transgressions.
    While you’re at it, could you run a few money-changers out of the houses-of-the-holy for us? I’d follow that act!

  201. M.A.M.Ed.-but-still-kicking said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:37

    The thred is ded. :-(

  202. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:43

    MB: Exact same two used by Charm City trucks!

    I hear both of these catchy, let’s-all-hum-along tunes echoing down the canyons of rowhouses. My rowhouse is perhaps 20 feet from the curb (steps & sidewalk)….and also near a stoplight with a l-o-n-g red cycle.

    Also thanks for the strikethough tag. (Didn’t know how to do it until now.)

    Clyde: Double Extra points for Philip the Fair AND the Knights Templar! [Also, Mr. Pedant Sez: The idiomatic phrase ‘poisioning the well’ initially implied poisoning by rumor (rather than using actual poison).

    Geds: Nifty Descartes riff!

    Anonymous: You know who ELSE was a German bitching about our country……?

    ——————-

    This has been a strange thread so far.

    As you know, I never(*) leave the boat. I am too poor to afford expensive Brain Bleach. Also I don’t my head to esplode.

    Strange and twisted indeed are the mangoes! A jihad funded by pissicles!

    Even more fun to read: The exiting tales of Sadlynaut confrontations with crocs and zombies and other denizens of the mango swamp.
    ———————-
    (*) The one and only exception: When the GayPutz does his annual Grand Diva Blogress poll, I leave the boat once every day to go stuff the ballot box for the candidate selected by Our Sadly Overlords. All other times: Always. Trust. The. Shorter.
    ———————-

    I’ll be doing some Night Hawk work. I’ll check in from time to time.

  203. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:52

    Mr. Thread, he not dead.

    Also, bbfk, thanks for clipping clark’s comment and bringing it back to the boat. Clark is one Bad-Dude Alligator Rassler, that’s fer sure!

  204. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 6:53

    You know, I’m going to go out on a limb here and and without doing any real research say that the percentage of drunk slob asshole Christians is virtually the same as the percentage of drunk slob asshole Mulims. I’d be willing to bet very big money that there have been several Chritians who have been busted for drunk and or unsanitary operation of an ice cream truck.

  205. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 7:09

    I actually went to the trouble of creating another gmail address just to poke at lil’ Debbie one more time:

    So, now that I have given you a real email address (go ahead and check it), will you take my posts out of moderation?

    Or are you afraid of opinions different than yours?

    I am amazed that (my nym, no space)@gmail.com was available.

  206. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 7:16

    Actually, since Muslins, religious ones, don’t drink alcohol, I believe you’d find a helluva lot more drunken Christian ice cream vendors.

    Won’t somebody please think of the childern!!

  207. H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,

    May 19, 2011 at 7:26

    Christianity is better than Islam because Piss Christ comes with the stick built-in.

  208. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 8:09

    Won’t somebody please think of the childern!!

    Then the Rabbi said, “Fuck the children!”

    And the Priest said, “Do you think we have time?”

  209. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 8:14

    Reading this thread has started this fucking ditty bouncing around my head.

    I’m actually a bit surprised how well I remember it.

  210. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 9:31

    There was longish strand about whiskey and tequila and such things. I almost never drink liquor. However, I some some dessert liquors, particularly a Cuervo tequila. I think it is called Agua?

    I generally have two beers a week at a friend’s house. I like wine, particularly whites, but I have had any–jeez, in over a year.

    What I like most is the sweet smoke. I’ve liked it all of my adult life. (I had my first joint about forty years ago.) I’m high almost every time I’m here on S,N.

    Marijuana also helps me deal with some difficult problems. In my case, I find the sweet smoke a helpful self-medication. (My scrips are for an anti-depressant and a mood-stabilizer.)

    Marijuana should be legal. And most certainly medical marijuana.

    [Fenwick's thread resuscitation effort]

  211. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 9:39

    This also explains the numerous typos, dropped words, doubled-words, and multitudinous flaws in my comments.

    I’m into a bad habit on S,N: I don’t proof here. I let my fingers rip, like I do with my writing. In my stuff, however, I KNOW I’m going to re-visit it and re-write. Smooth it, polish it, tinker with. That’s where I invest my proofing now.

    Also I blame Teh Mooz-lums…

  212. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 10:24

    I almost hate to say this, but I KNOW THE LYRICS TO THE MR. SOFTEE TUNE.

    Found ‘em in the Hudson Reporter when I lived in Hoboken 15-20 years back.

    Anybody interested??

    ………………….

    Anybody?

  213. Some guy who isn't John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 10:49

    Oh please please tell us Mr John!!11!!11

  214. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:02

    Yeah whatever.

    The dreamiest creamiest soft ice cream
    You get from Mr. Softee
    For a delicious delight supreme
    Look for Mr. Softee
    My malteds and sundaes
    and cones are such a treat
    Listen for my store on wheels
    Ding-a-ling down the street!!*

    The dreamiest creamiest soft ice cream
    You get from Mr. Softee
    For a delicious delight supreme
    Look for Mr. Softee

    S-O-F-T-double-E
    Mis-ter Softee!!!!!11111

    *VDing-a-lingReference

  215. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:03

    Ergo, there exists nothing that actor wouldn’t do

    I draw the line at the dead.

    Usually.

  216. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:04

    I almost hate to say this, but I KNOW THE LYRICS TO THE MR. SOFTEE TUNE.

    Big deal! Anyone over a certain age remembers the radio commercials

    *koffkoffwheeze*

    Now you’ll pardon me, but there seem to be some shapes on my lawn. Them damn kids better not be on there again

  217. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:05

    Sheet music for Mr Softee song

  218. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:23

    Oh yeah. I did it from memory, offa that same reprint.
    Never moved to NYC ’til 1982.

    Also, if’n you got a lawn, you cain’t be in NYC. QED.

  219. SplendidOne said,

    May 19, 2011 at 11:36

    Hasn’t anyone ever wondered what they make “Little Debbies” cookies out of?

  220. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 12:30

    Also, if’n you got a lawn, you cain’t be in NYC. QED.

    It’s a very small lawn.

    OK, you know those cobblestones around the trees the city planted? I pulled some of those up and put in petunias. K? Happy now?

  221. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2011 at 12:31

    Hasn’t anyone ever wondered what they make “Little Debbies” cookies out of?

    *glancing at her photos, including her glamour shot*

    Lard, apparently.

  222. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2011 at 12:56

    So, Mr. Actor, we finally meet, face to face.
    I hope you, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  223. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 13:27

    clark is my new hero…here’s his comment to li’l debbie:

    Damn. That was good.

    Of course, he’s the real racist for all that. But still. Well done.

  224. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 19, 2011 at 14:44

    I actually went to the trouble of creating another gmail address just to poke at lil’ Debbie one more time:

    You know, now that you’ve been Google-similated, you could always sign up for Blogger.

  225. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 15:41

    Super Sarah, commentor extraordinaire:

    Newt Gingrich’s misstep this week was actually a double fault in Sarah Palin’s eyes. Not only did he attack his own party’s proposal to reshape Medicare, but he did so by appearing on the oh-so-dreaded “lamestream media.”
    Palin offered her diagnosis on a pair of Fox cable shows Wednesday, and used Gingrich’s latest woes as an example of why Republican presidential hopefuls should avoid the traditional media.

    “There’s got to be the preparation on all the candidates’ parts for those gotchas. That’s what the lamestream media is known for nowadays, is the gotcha trip-up questions,” she told Sean Hannity on his Fox News Channel show Wednesday

  226. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 15:44

    Gotta watch out for those gotchas. They’re often followed by gotcha trip-ups, which are extremely dangerous.

    She hasn’t even been hit with the double-backside blindside gotcha trip-up mega question.

    One of the most amusing traits of conservatives is their exceeding butthurt following being exposed as dumbfucks.

  227. Pryme said,

    May 19, 2011 at 15:53

    Apparently Hip Hop is OK for the GOP when they need it to make a point.

  228. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:09

    “There’s got to be the preparation on all the candidates’ parts for those gotchas. That’s what the lamestream media is known for nowadays, is the gotcha trip-up questions,” she told Sean Hannity on his Fox News Channel show Wednesday

    Apparently, being asked about your own explicit words is a gotcha.

    This from the same woman who thought being asked what she thought of the Bush doctrine was a gotcha.

  229. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:29

    This from the same woman who thought being asked what she thought of the Bush doctrine was a gotcha.

    To be fair, for her, it was.

  230. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:34

    To be fair, for her, it was.

    Shame on the reporter for 1) not realizing just how massive ignorant a moron she was, and 2) not helping her cover up the fact that she was.

  231. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:47

    You lamestream media fascists with your gotchas and getchas and questions about stuff, just trying to keep a whore from sucking her way to the top.

  232. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:48

    Shame on the reporter for

    3) Assuming that she reads books that don’t have like, words, and none of those popups.

  233. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 16:49

    3) Assuming that she reads books that don’t have like, words, and none of those popups.

    LOLWUT?

    You fucking sadlies and your gotcha topics.

  234. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:00

    She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?

  235. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:02

    She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?

    YER lame. Shutup!

  236. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:04

    She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?

    she and her bff chelle bachmann both use it ad nauseum, which is one of the myriad reasons i cannot take the woman seriously. also, when she is on fox and refers to the ‘lamestream’ media, is she not implying that fox is not ‘lamestream?’ that is to say, isn’t she admitting fox news is not a credible news source?

  237. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:07

    when she is on fox and refers to the ‘lamestream’ media, is she not implying that fox is not ‘lamestream?’

    Lame before media except before Fox…

    You’re clinging to the idea that these people have any concept of the idea of a double standard–or if they do understand the concept, actually care.

  238. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:08

    it’s getting downright fuglier than usual at li’l debbies snack site…from a commenter named ‘mel’:
    Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.

    niiiiiiiice….

  239. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:09

    Lame before media except before Fox…

    oh! so, it’s like ‘i before e, except after c?’

  240. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:18

    Watched ABC News last night. One of the teasers was a debate between Stephen Hawking and a 12-year-old about the existence of heaven.

    Disappointed.

    There was no debate. Hawking was quoted on the reality of a degraded and eventually non-functioning brain.

    Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.

    I guess that settles it.

  241. mark f said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:20

    Shorter Maggie Gallagher:

    Cuomo and Bloomberg

    are gay for each other. Or something. I don’t know.

  242. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:20

    Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.

    i guess that proves that family values and god will always trump science…

  243. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:20

    Also, Father of twelve-year-old has a book to sell……….

  244. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:32

    Sooooooo

    Boy claims to have been to heaven (yet is still alive), dad’s got his back and book for the low low price of…

    I see no depravity in this situation. I also don’t see a guy preying on the weak minded and one child.

    Excellent.

  245. Johnny Pez said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:33

    “Jesus told little Timmy about Aunt Martha’s tumor, ergo God exists.”

    Amazing to think that Descartes missed that one.

  246. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:36

    Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things.

    WTF? Now , if he had talked about family future things, he might have a case, but really, this is weak, weak sauce.

  247. Johnny Pez said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:39

    Okay, now I’ve got “Jesus Stole My Girlfriend” running through my mind.

    Not that I’m complaining.

  248. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:45

    You know, now that you’ve been Google-similated, you could always sign up for Blogger.

    I hear all the kids are doing it.

    I’ve been tempted but my extended family covers the political range from moderate Repulbican to frothing-at-the-mouth Talibangelical to Tea Partier. No I’m not kidding. I’m also not at all sure I want to deal with them stumbling across a blog of mine.

  249. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:51

    stumbling across a blog

  250. Johnny Pez said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:52

    And you gotta figure the surname Chowder is an unusual one. Unless you’re from India.

  251. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:55

    FY AT&T
    FYiPhone
    FYKOPB app

    I’m trying to listen to the king One usurper President’s speech. Trying. In vain.

  252. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 17:58

    WTF? Now , if he had talked about family future things, he might have a case, but really, this is weak, weak sauce.

    Did he mention the world ending this weekend? Because I’m thinking somebody got the wrong Jesus.

    Also, re this being on ABC news, I take back what I said about Palin, that is pretty fucking lame.

  253. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:04

    Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.

    A ton of the people who died in the Twin Towers probably were liberal jackasses, which largely explains Falwell and Robertson’s “tee hee, they’re dead just like Sodom and Gomorrah!” post-9/11 event. So hey, he got what he wanted. At the cost of 3,000 human lives, but hey, the only problem with that is that there weren’t more liberals in the pile.

    Ahhh, compassionate conservatism. Good times.

  254. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:04

    And you gotta figure the surname Chowder is an unusual one.

    Oh ha ha.

    ====================

    Did he mention the world ending this weekend? Because I’m thinking somebody got the wrong Jesus.

    “You go to the Rapture with the Juses you have—not the Jeebus you might want or wish to have at a later time, like after the Rapture.”

    So true.

  255. El Manquécito said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:05

    I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.

  256. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:07

    “Did he mention the world ending this weekend?”

    Father. Has. Book. To. Sell.

  257. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:10

    Thankfully NPR has been all over this apocalypse story. If not for them, I wouldn’t have had time to prepare.

    Still trying to find a virgin.

  258. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:11

    Father. Has. Book. To. Sell.

    Uh oh, guess he’s gonna be TSOL when THE RAPTURE comes. I wonder if he’s got a nice stereo…

  259. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:12

    Love the comments all over wanting to have Hawkings chair smash into a wall, he’s so stupid, can’t wait to see him tortured in hell, the usual hateful nasty vicious Christian stuff.

  260. Euphemonious Monk said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:15

    Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.

    What Chris said, plus:

    I haven’t read all the comments, but from what I have read I don’t believe anybody is apologing for this Muslim jackass. They are simply pointing out the absurdity of pinning the actions of one jackass onto 23% of the worlds population.

  261. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:16

    “I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.”

    yep. Once the upside downers tell us what’s going on we still have 12 hours to repent. God’s contracts are always full of loopholes.

  262. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:16

    “Uh oh, guess he’s gonna be TSOL when THE RAPTURE comes. I wonder if he’s got a nice stereo…”

    Surely, these true believers are giving away all of their stuff to charity.

  263. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:18

    See also Pascal’s wager three card Monty.

  264. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:19

    The end is near!

  265. tigris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:20

    Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.

    I bet this guy wanted to bomb Palestine after hearing a couple people cheered, and yet here he is doing the same fucking thing. And yeah, “I think he should go to jail for driving drunk on top of losing his job” is really defending or apologizing for someone. Tell you what, in that case I’m also sorry for and totally defending that tiny-brained, terroristic fuck who cheers when innocent Americans die just because they might be to the left of said asshole. I hope he reaps what he sows, and when he’s reaping it that he remembers his words.

  266. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:21

    OT for Oregon Sadlies into motorcycles:

    This is this weekend. You should be there, I will be. There’s a ride on Saturday and a great show/swap meet on Sunday. Weather should be perfect this year. Sometimes the ride route is great, sometimes not, but it’s damn easy to find good roads around here if the group route is not to your liking. And although it’s a “vintage” ride/meet and most of the bikes are old, you don’t have to have an old bike to go on the ride. It’s polite to start near the back if that’s the case though…

  267. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:23

    “Surely, these true believers are giving away all of their stuff to charity.”

    true story – woman refuses to pay her rent, due on the 15th, until after the 21st. Because … because … for some bizarre reason (maybe to have more for hookers and blow before repenting or something). My acquaintance is enforcing the $50 / day late fee.

  268. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:26

    Deuteronomy 18,20-22:

    But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

    And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken?

    When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

    So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.

  269. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:27

    Love vintage bikes! Hell, that’s what I started on back in 19koffmumrph. Hafta look into it.

  270. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:29

    So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.

    HAHA–I think NOT!

    You’re assuming that his followers like, read and stuff. You’re also making the even more preposterous assumption that a single person among them could comprehend this passage.

    His life will continue to be the grift mine it was until today.

  271. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:29

    This is this weekend.

    That should be great; the roads will be empty thanks to TEH RAPTUUR and we all know motorcyclists are a bunch of godless goons.

    Well except for some. But they’ve probably picked the wrong Jeebus anyway so they’ll be out too, just sad.

  272. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:31

    Once the upside downers tell us what’s going on we still have 12 hours to repent. God’s contracts are always full of loopholes.

    Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.

  273. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:32

    I’m-a let me finish…

    Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.

    because Jesus is surely a Blue Oyster Cult fan!

  274. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:32

    So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.

    Now you’re assuming that these Christians actually read the Bilbe. Shows how much you know. See, this guy has already been wrong about the end of the world. Apparently that last time God misspoke or muttered or something. This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.

  275. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:33

    smedley sed…

    Nah, it’s not the first time for him. He’s got one failure already, back in the 90s I think. Can’t remember the guy who wrote the book but the name of thebook is “When Prophecy Fails” or something very similar.

    Also there’s the conveniently ignored passage in Matthew I think it is “no one canknow the hour ofmy coming.”

  276. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:34

    Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.

    But downwards.

  277. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:34

    Johnny Pez, @17:33

    Typical liberal, putting Descartes before the whores.

  278. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:36

    The wiki has an excellent summary of the book – go read it now.

  279. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:37

    You guys may be right. My assumption was that, of all the books in the Bible, Deuteronomy and Leviticus would be the two that they actually WOULD read. Cuz they have all the hatin’ and proscriptions and such.

  280. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:38

    Now you’re assuming that these Christians actually read the Bilbe. Shows how much you know. See, this guy has already been wrong about the end of the world. Apparently that last time God misspoke or muttered or something. This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.

    At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something.

  281. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:39

    I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone.

    On which day? I’m thinking of spending an outrageous amount of money to watch the Lighning and the Bruins play hockey. And I figure that gaolies probably pray an awful lot, so will probably be raptured up and I just don’t think it will be worth it to watch a game with no goalies.

  282. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:41

    I would watch a game with no goalies.

  283. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:41

    This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.

    The “oh, I forgot to check my math” excuse cracks me up.

  284. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:42

    Christians treat the bibble like an EULA. They don’t actually read it, just click on ACCEPT.

  285. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:43

    I would watch a game with no goalies.

    First hockey game in history that won’t be criminally boring.

  286. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:44

    At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something.

    He’ll just move the goalposts, saying it’s the beginning of the end.

  287. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:44

    It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the crashes fights.

  288. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:44

    “The “oh, I forgot to check my math” excuse cracks me up.”

    “I forgot to carry the one! This changes everything. Nevermind.”

  289. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:45

    At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something

    he says the first time his bibilical research was ‘incomplete’ and this time is the real deal…heard a hilarious radio interview yesterday with an old coot farmer from minnesota who believes this…but he’ll only commit to 80% belief…there’s still a 20% chance that he won’t get raptured…he’s not sure how he will feel should he wake up on the 22nd…interview digressed and he ended up talking about his brother ‘earl’ who is now known as ‘emily’…while earl did not have any surgery, he did have a ‘trick’ he used to fool people…radio host could barely speak he was so constricted with laffter…it was awesome…also, earl/emily is now in teh old folks home…

  290. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:46

    “Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.” — Isaac Asimov

  291. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:48

    Christians treat the bibble like an EULA. They don’t actually read it, just click on ACCEPT.

    Oh, I am so stealing this.

  292. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:52

    It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the crashes fights.
    I figure at least some of the skill players will also get raptured up, so that just leaves the goons and refs (who are definitely in the devils camp). So there won’t be many more goals scored than there would be with goalies, but the PIMs will go through the roof.

  293. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:52

    fywp…how can you detect a duplicate comment when the effing thing isn’t posted?!?!? huh? riddle me that!!!

  294. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:54

    It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the crashes fights.

    I’d totally be a NASCAR fan if the cars would fight!

  295. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 18:55

    I’d totally be a NASCAR fan if the cars would fight!

    I’d watch it if they took the seatbelts and helmets away.

  296. NHL goalie said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:01

    “Skill players!” You callin’ me unskilled, mofo?

  297. vacuumslayer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:05

    I watch NASCAR for the music acts.

  298. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:05

    To the Oregon bikers: If you make it down for the ride and/or show — track me down and introduce yourselves. I’ll be on a red 2007 Triumph Thruxton — I’ll probably be the only one…

  299. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:06

    “Skill players!” You callin’ me unskilled, mofo?

    That all depends on which NHL goalie you are.

  300. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:07

    I watch NASCAR for the wardrobe malfunctions.

  301. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:08

    tsam, you should have seen the last game – 6 to 5 and some really slick goals. But I am a hockey fan so I’m biased.

    As for the rapture, I plan on being very pleasantly buzzed up on Oregon beer.

  302. vacuumslayer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:09

    I watch hockey for the fashion. And dentistry.

  303. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:13

    I’ll be on a red 2007 Triumph Thruxton — I’ll probably be the only one…

    You could also call yourself Oregon Bike Snob!

    I would have guessed you were a 1952 Vincent Black Lightning type of guy.

  304. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:14

    I watch hockey for the fashion. And dentistry.

    I bet with a full field of 33 cars or so, they even can achieve a mouthfull of teeth.

  305. vacuumslayer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:17

    Thread “Tintin” Bear said,

    So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?

  306. NHL goalie said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:17

    Let’s see YOU catch a puck at 90 mph………………with your teeth!

  307. vacuumslayer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:18

    Let’s see YOU catch a puck at 90 mph………………with your teeth!

    Oh please, I do that all the ti–ooooh, you said “puck.”

  308. Oregon Beer, Bike, Blues and Bourbon Snob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:20

    Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    You could also call yourself Oregon Bike Snob!

    I would have guessed you were a 1952 Vincent Black Lightning type of guy.

    I love that song — listened to it just yesterday! And yeah, if I had the dough necessary to own a Vincent, I would. There’s a great guy here in town that actually has a few of them — very unassuming retired professor. He’ll probably be at the show. My favorite of his is his Norvin

  309. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:21

    To all the Oregon bikers: I will be on a red Ducati Sport 1000s. So if you see me come say hi. Except, I will be in Wisconsin, so if you see me from Oregon, you are probably on top of a tower that reaches almost all the way in to space, so I wouldn’t hear you, even if you yell really loud. And I won’t be riding it, I will be looking at apartments with my girlfriend. And it is supposed to storm Saturday, so even if I had the day free, I probably wouldn’t take it for a ride.

  310. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:22

    I bet with a full field of 33 cars or so, they even can achieve a mouthfull of teeth.

    Well, at least the cars would have grills.

    Or, as TiDoS Yankee would say, gree-yulls.

  311. vacuumslayer said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:23

    Why can’t everyone just do what we want because we say so?

  312. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:28

    Mitzi Quinn has been on the staff at BHS for almost 25 years, much of that time as a senior advisor. In the past, Quinn said there have been students who were atheist, agnostic and other non-Christian religions who “had no problems” with the prayer.

    “They respected the majority of their classmates and didn’t say anything,” Quinn said. “We’ve never had this come up before. Never.”

    What a terrible place to be.

  313. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:30

    Hockey, on the other hand, has boobs.

  314. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:30

    I watch hockey for the fashion.
    Ah, for the real cutting edge in fashion you need to go to the minor leagues. And my all time favorite, the Las Vegas Wranglers, the Bakersfield Condors, the refs, and the goal judges all wore special uniforms for Rod Blagoyovich prison jersey night.

  315. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:33

    “Do the monk of Tibet and Nepal point to the path of the ice cream truck driver as the road to enlightenment?”

    I don’t know, but I think I’ll take it up as a koan.

  316. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:33

    Oops, shoulda been one more link to hockey fashion. Preview lied to me once again.

  317. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:35

    Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=luke+scott&aq=f&aqi=g10&aql=&oq=

  318. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:40

    “Do the monk of Tibet and Nepal point to the path of the ice cream truck driver as the road to enlightenment?”

    I don’t know, but I think I’ll take it up as a koan.

    I think there’s a wealth of new sutras and gospels waiting to be written that can speak to the 20th century world in a way that stories about shepherds and kings cannot. As an atheist, I am unlikely to write ‘the parable of the senior hydrological engineer’ or the ‘Epistle to the the aspiring reality television stars’ or the ‘Testament of Saint Billy Ray’ but i might read them if only for the comedy value.

  319. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:40

    I couldn’t press my boobs against the glass. My tummy would get there way before my chest.

  320. Shub Niggurath said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:42

    Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!

    I was amused.

  321. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:43

    “I couldn’t press my boobs against the glass. My tummy would get there way before my chest.”

    This is where the similarities between Jonah and I end.

  322. Shub Niggurath said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:44

    Pressing the Boobs!

  323. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:45

    Typical liberal, putting Descartes before the whores

    Extra points for Hopeye.

  324. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:45

    And me.

  325. tintingris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:48

    So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?

    I don’t know what I mean.

  326. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:48

    Sorry…I’m just askeert M. Bouffant and/or smut clyde will yell at me.

  327. tintingris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:52

    “They respected the majority of their classmates and didn’t say anything,” Quinn said. “We’ve never had this come up before. Never.”

    “And when they did, swirlies until they learned to keep it zipped and to RESPECT THE MAJORITY OF THEIR CLASSMATES.”

  328. Whale Chowder said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:54

    Helmut, are you 77south? Wasn’t that the Duc guy up there in the midwest somewhere?

    Gah. You nymchangers are all alike, I can’t keep you straight. I’ll just call all y’all tintin from here on out.

  329. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:55

    The majority is always right, which is why slavery is still legal.

  330. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:55

    “They respected the majority of their classmates and didn’t say anything,”

    If you are driving in Bastrop you will find that Respect is a one-way street.

  331. Pupienus Tintinus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:56

    Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.

    A monastic student asks his master about the existence of an afterlife. “I have no idea,” the teacher replies. “But you are a Zen master,” the frustrated student exclaims. “True,” says the teacher, “but I am not a dead Zen master.”

  332. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:56

    ” I can’t keep you straight.”

    I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.

  333. Euphemonious Monk said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:58

    Keeping it straight.

  334. Anonymous said,

    May 19, 2011 at 19:59

    So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?

    Or is it going to be the rotten mango flesh of future entries?

  335. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:01

    “I’m wondering why,” said Kari Payton, class valedictorian. “This is something that’s been done for years – forever – and now that we’re graduating we can’t show reverence and honor to our God?”

    Jasmine Davis’ feelings on the issue were shared by many others.

    “Why does one person get to decide what more than 200 of us do?” Davis said. “It’s obvious (the student) is in the minority, yet the rest of us are being denied to pray to our God.”

    you can still pray you stupid twatnozzle! you just do it quietly…ya don’t have to have it publicly recognized to pray…also, was there a vote to see if a prayer should be said, and if so, who to pray to? if not, then your minority/majority argument falls flat, dumbass…

  336. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:01

    tsam, you should have seen the last game – 6 to 5 and some really slick goals. But I am a hockey fan so I’m biased.

    I was just being trollish. I have no issue with hockey or even soccer which is not football but is actually soccer even if you’re not playing in my beloved USofA so get it right stupid foreigners.

  337. Fenwick, who is HTML Mencken said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:02

    So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?

    VS: Have you lost your Double-Secret Sadlies Identity Roster?

  338. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:02

    “Why does one person get to decide what more than 200 of us do?”

    this would be a good question to ask the pope…

  339. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:02

    I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.

    But he ISREAL.

  340. Pupienus Tintinus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:04

    Helmut, are you 77south?

    Ditto.

    Wasn’t that the Duc guy up there in the midwest somewhere?

    Yes.

  341. Chris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:04

    So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?

    HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

    I never, never thought I’d see the day when –

    Wow. Seriously? Holy shit. WOW.

    Sorry, but I never thought I’d see the day when a President of the United States had the balls to tell the Israelis to go back to the 1967 borders.

    Now, admittedly… those words gotta be backed up. And he’ll have a lot of trouble with that since I don’t think Congress has the spine to do it, but still… that’s a hell of a gauntlet. “Shitstorm” is right. I know what PJM’s leading articles are going to be about tomorrow… maybe even this afternoon.

  342. smedley said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:05

    Kari Payton, class valedictorian.

    That there is one smart grajee8tin class.

  343. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:05

    Forcefully stepping into an explosive Middle East debate, President Barack Obama

    it would have been nice if he would forcefully strode…

  344. tintingris said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:06

    “I’m wondering why,” said Kari Payton, class valedictorian. “This is something that’s been done for years – forever – and now that we’re graduating we can’t show reverence and honor to our God?”

    “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men….. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen…”

  345. mingo said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:07


    As an atheist, I am unlikely to write ‘the parable of the senior hydrological engineer’ or the ‘Epistle to the the aspiring reality television stars’ or the ‘Testament of Saint Billy Ray’ but i might read them if only for the comedy value.

    I believe, then, that you might enjoy this:
    Lamentations

  346. Geds said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:09

    So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?

    First reaction I saw was from an increasingly wingnutty pastor “friend” on the Book o’ Faces:

    “Stunning Speech from Obama today on his anti-Israel vision for the middle east. He keeps revealing his agenda. Will we listen?”

    I’m constantly teetering on the edge of my, “Don’t start shit on Facebook,” policy over this one.

  347. Oregon Tintin Snob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:10

    Anonymous said,
    So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?

    Or is it going to be the rotten mango flesh of future entries?

    There are some really nasty rotten mangoes just in the first couple pages of OVER 10,000 comments at the linked article. Pammycakes is gonna flip right the fuck out — probably already has, but I sure as hell am not going to check it out.

  348. Fenwick, who is HTML Mencken said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:12

    Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!

    Sadly, yes, if one is a fan of the Baltimore Woes. Which I am. I want Felix Pie in LF. I hope they move Scott in the off-season, or–even better–move him to a contender this year before the trade deadline.

  349. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:16

    I want Felix Pie in LF.

    I like pie!

  350. Ron Howard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:18

    Was he grinnin’ as he was steppin’?

  351. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:20

    There are some really nasty rotten mangoes just in the first couple pages of OVER 10,000 comments at the linked article. Pammycakes is gonna flip right the fuck out — probably already has, but I sure as hell am not going to check it out.

    Yeah, the shitstorm verily hath begun.

  352. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:22

    Was he grinnin’ as he was steppin’?

    He may have been fetchin’ as he was steppin’.

  353. Helmut Monotreme aka 77south said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:23

    I am found out! I am 77south, and I am Helmut Monotreme. On most other forums I am still 77south but once I saw the name Helmut Monotreme posted, I had to steal it. I think Smut Clyde posted it as a possible name for little Dudeskull.

  354. Pupienus Tintinus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:23

    FUCK! I KNEW I was missing an interesting speech. FUCK FUCK FUCK

  355. Anonymous said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:27

    Yeah, the shitstorm verily hath begun.

    I don’t feel like wading in– not when I can go play Mah Jongg in a little bit– but I wonder if this is going to reinforce the “stealth Muslim” lunacy.

  356. Rick Santorum said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:27

    I am not a homophobe.

  357. Gibbs said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:30

    but I wonder if this is going to reinforce the “stealth Muslim” lunacy.

    Do you think, Denozzo?

  358. Scott Lively said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:30

    I hate the gays because god tells me to.

  359. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:31

    There are some really nasty rotten mangoes just in the first couple pages of OVER 10,000 comments at the linked article. Pammycakes is gonna flip right the fuck out — probably already has, but I sure as hell am not going to check it out.

    Ah, Yahoo comments. What a marvelous, spittleflecked cesspool.

    They stopped having them for a while a ways back. Pity, that. They are such a perfect example of the greater internet fuckwad theory.

  360. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:32

    HAHAHAHAHA MUSLIM NAME! The stupid hurts.

    “Lamestream media” is ableist. Trig haz a sad.

    I have no idea what else you people are talking about because my ADD kicked in about 2/3s of the way through the thread.

  361. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:34

    Helmut,

    I think both our nyms came from a post about freeping a poll somewhere. Damned if I can’t remember whose, though. I couldn’t resist either.

  362. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:35

    I have no idea what else you people are talking about because my ADD kicked in about 2/3s of the way through the thread.

    Oh yeah, like we know what we’re talking about.

  363. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:35

    I have to say, every time I’m all pouty and I’m done with Obama etc etc etc, he does something totally badass. I almost hate him more for that.

  364. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:38

    Sorry…I’m just askeert M. Bouffant and/or smut clyde will yell at me.

    Oh, crap, NOW what did you do?

  365. Fenwick, who is D. Aristophanes said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:39

    The American Likudniks will SO freak out! (Alsothe Let’s-Hasten-the-Rapture talibanjelicals.)

    This is going to be even more entertaining than the Mooslim Triumph Mosque in NTC. I must add popcorn to my grocery list!

  366. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:39

    I have to say, every time I’m all pouty and I’m done with Obama etc etc etc, he does something totally badass. I almost hate him more for that.

    I know, Obama will counter insanity with sanity, but when they double down on the insanity Obama is not often willing to double down on the sanity.

  367. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:41

    Surprise of the day:

    Israel Rejects 1967 Border Plan

    They should get to keep Golan Heights–just like we kept North Africa, France, Germany and Japan, right?

    Oh.

  368. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:42

    Obama is not often willing to double down on the sanity.

    Sanity is a limited resource. Insanity is not. Difficult to double down on a singular state of being.

  369. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:43

    Sanity is a limited resource. Insanity is not. Difficult to double down on a singular state of being.

    Sadly, yes.

  370. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:46

    Do you think Obama’s courageous foriegn policy is just because the world is going to end on Sunday?

  371. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:48

    I hate the gays because god tells me to.

    Scott Lively doesn’t hate the gays, he’s just acting as God’s pimp when God needs to have his luggage lifted:

    Scott Lively says that God recently gave him a prophecy that He “would soon use me to lead some homosexuals to Him”

  372. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:51

    I think both our nyms came from a post about freeping a poll somewhere.

    Freeping the poll…

  373. Fenwick, who is D. Aristophanes said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:54

    Remember all the times the United Snakes has righteously used Flouting-of-UN-Resolutions as a casus belli for our Just Wars?

    Israel has flouted U.N Resolution 242–requiring withdrawal to the 1967 borders–for forty-three fucking years.

  374. VS said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:55

    ” tsam said,
    May 19, 2011 at 20:46

    Do you think Obama’s courageous foriegn policy is just because the world is going to end on Sunday?”

    Ok, ThaT was funny. Maybe Obama’s not so bad after all. I woulda just had an orgy. Screw sane foreign policy.

  375. Fenwick, who is D. Aristophanes said,

    May 19, 2011 at 20:59

    Flouting the Resolution

  376. Pupienus Tintinus said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:06

    A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.

  377. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:09

    I woulda just had an orgy

    Exhibit 27 in the case to prove that VS is better than BHO.

    I rest my case.

  378. Fenwick, who is quite possibly TinTin, unless perhaps actor is said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:11

    As I–that is to say, as WE–never leave the boat, we trust that intrepid and fearless Sadlynauts will return with mangoes, however mangled, rotten, and decayed they may be.

  379. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:12

    PeeJ is destroying the internet wit da funnay biznass today.

    16 martinis coming up.

    The EULA thing–brilliant.

  380. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:13

    Exhibit 27 in the case to prove that VS is better than BHO.

    I rest my case.

    The verdict is unanimous. Let’s all go to the jury room and orgy down!

  381. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:18

    or:
    polling the freep

  382. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:19

    …Sadlynauts will return with mangoes, however mangled, rotten, and decayed they may be.

    The mangoes, not the Sadlynauts. I know the Sadliesare mangled, rotten and decayed. Mr. Avoidable Ambiguity haz a sad.

  383. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:20

    Israel has flouted U.N Resolution 242–requiring withdrawal to the 1967 borders–for forty-three fucking years.

    Aren’t there several UN nuclear weapons bans they’re flouting as well?

  384. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:21

    A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.

    We’re terribly disappointed that the world will end on Saturday, because on Sunday the worthies from Westboro Baptist (the “God Hates Fags” crowd) were going to come to town to picket several places of worship, at least 2 Episcopal and one synagogue. But I guess that won’t happen now…

  385. Ron Howard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:23

    He may have been fetchin’ as he was steppin’.

    ok, my antiquated racist stereotype generator is out of whack today. Newt Gingrich regrets the inconvenience.

  386. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:24

    at least 2 Episcopal and one synagogue

    Aha! “Piscopalians! That puts us right back on topic.

  387. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:24

    The EULA thing–brilliant.

    Seconded! (or thirded, or fourthded, or whatever). I’m so stealing that. PeeJ Pup. Tintin wins the internet.

  388. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:25

    A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.

    A: Are you going to lend it to him?

    B: Do you have another?

  389. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:31

    mature Christians know that a sin is a sin is a sin. They are different in form, but equal in their effect: separating us from God.

    exactamundo! so, when you stop sinning everyday, scott, let me know…mmmmkay?

  390. Silver Owl said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:34

    Can the boat swim farther away from Michigan shores please? Dumbie Schlopnoggin with never yammery pie hole of bullshit is one the worst examples of our residents. Quite the embarassing asshole she is.

  391. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:40

    Quite the embarassing asshole she is

    She is an epic dumbass. I do have to say that watching her strap it on and violate Hannity was gratifying, in a bum fight sort of way…

  392. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:49

    I do have to say that watching her strap it on and violate Hannity was gratifying, in a bum fight sort of way…

    When was this?

  393. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:50

    Oh, Google’s my friend, it was the “Freedom Concert” scam.

    Gotcha man!

  394. Kirk Cameron said,

    May 19, 2011 at 21:58

    To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.

  395. Looch said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:01

    A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.

    Nah. I am trying to round up a surplus anti-aircraft set, you know, mounted on a half-track.

    No luck yet on eBay.

    And flame throwers. Glowing globs all the way to the stars.

    And imma gonna steal their shit, too.

  396. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:02

    He has an unfair disadvantage
    i wish i had an unfair disadvantage…

  397. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:03

    Oh, Google’s my friend, it was the “Freedom Concert” scam.

    That’s right. It sure died down in a hurry, though. I’m guessing Debz got cut in on the profits.

  398. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:07

    Palin offered her diagnosis on a pair of Fox cable shows Wednesday, and used Gingrich’s latest woes as an example of why Republican presidential hopefuls should avoid the traditional media.

    Worked so well for her. Who better to advise Gingrich on how to win elections? Oh the condescension.

    it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.
    AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.

  399. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:12

    To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.

    Don’t worry Kirk. We all know in 3 days, you’ll be the one laughing with your wings and your harp!

  400. Looch said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:14

    Don’t worry Kirk. We all know in 3 days, you’ll be the one laughing with your wings and your harp!

    Wait: We can pick who raptures?

    Ooooh.

  401. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:16

    AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.

    You know, if we were to co-ordinate with bloggers around the world we could totes freak out the rapturists in a huge way. If done right, I think we could easily outstrip the hysteria from Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds.

  402. Another Kiwi said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:16

    I DO NOT WANT to be raptured. Me and Mrs Cat will be just fine and we will go to Marbecks and use all their wireless and listen to all their records. Damn it’s going to be nice and quiet without people whining about how only jebus loves them just because they are humourless dildos full of hate.
    One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.

  403. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:19

    One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.

    We’ll also have to take turns to make insane whinger conspiracy theories. Otherwise, we’d have nothing to talk about.

  404. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:20

    “Who do you think is right?

    1. Kirk Cameron
    2. Stephen Hawking
    3. They both make some good points
    4. Neither, my thoughts are somewhere in the middle”

  405. Another Kiwi said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:23

    “Who do you think is right?
    No Tony Hawk option????
    Some quiz if the drop dead kick ass champion of the world doesn’t get a look in.

  406. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:24

    on the other hand, has boobs

    Apparently Substance has boobs on his hand. That’s gonna make it awkward finding gloves that fit.

  407. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:27

    1. Kirk Cameron
    2. Stephen Hawking
    3. They both make some good points
    4. Neither, my thoughts are somewhere in the middle”

    You forgot 5. Pie

    WTF? How do you conduct a poll without the gratuitous knee slapper of a totally irrelevant answer? Come on now.

  408. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:28

    Some quiz if the drop dead kick ass champion of the world doesn’t get a look in.

    This isn’t Tony Hawk, it’s Chuck Norris. Sheesh.

  409. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:30

    taking turns to make executive decisions.

    I know what mine is! Clothing is hereby unlawful! W00t!

    Now we just need to lure a Swedish Bikini Team to the commune.

    I got PLANS, MUTHAFUCKAHS! PLANS.

  410. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:30

    I vote for pie…

  411. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:31

    I vote for pie…

    which is why i will veto the unlawful clothing act of 2011…i like pie too much, and nobody needs/wants to see that…

  412. El Manquécito said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:41

    AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.

    I knew I could count on y’all.

  413. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:52

    Also, too, with the impending rapture, I’m gonna hafta vote 1. Kirk Cameron.

    Hell is for children.

  414. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 22:59

    One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.

    Major Kong flies the Lear jet, of course. I looking forward to seeing the Upside Down part of the world, especially the mountains of New Zealand. (They are Remarkable, or so I understand….)

    And we can have deep discussions about the proper origin and just exercise of Soo-preme Executive Power.

  415. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:01

    taking turns.

  416. tsam said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:03

    You’re all IDIOTS!

  417. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:12

    They are Remarkable, or so I understand….
    Fiqszed.

  418. CRA said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:14

    Popcap used to host a competitive online magnetic poetry type game called “Psychobabble.” You could generally win the voting for a given round with a deeply nasty sentence like “The men took turns.”

    The idea (so far as I could tell) was to sexualize or otherwise subvert whatever words were supplied, by means of a figure of speech. My above example doesn’t need one, but you couldn’t win three rounds running without one.

  419. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:15

    Very big sammich.

  420. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:17

    The poem here deserves a plug.

  421. El Manquécito said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:18

    Very big sammich.

    I laffed.

  422. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:34

    You forgot 5. Pie

    Wrong. Pie wears18. And he should be playing Left Field for the Orioles. Aren’t you people paying attention?

  423. The Ghost of Georg Buchner said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:40

    Woyzeck’s pissing in the street.

  424. Fenwick said,

    May 19, 2011 at 23:48

    Woyzeck’s pissing in the street.

    Back on-topic again!

  425. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:00

    Some acquaintances are planning to place clothes here and there to point out to their rapturist neighbors. I would love to participate in said trollery but here in godless Portland i have seen no rapturists and besides, there’s frequently clothing lying around anyway (though in the case, naked people are commonly found cavorting nearby).

  426. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:11

    there’s frequently clothing lying around anyway (though in the case, naked people are commonly found cavorting nearby).

    No wonder there are no rapturists, you’re in heaven already!

  427. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:23

    This thread is lacking Zombeez.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/federal-funding-cuts-put-us-risk-zombie-attack/story?id=13638676

  428. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:40

    Zombee reference kills thread.

  429. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:41

    you’re in heaven already!

    In heaven it doesn’t rain so much. Mostly sunny. City of Roses? NOT HEAVEN.

  430. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:50

    This thread is lacking Zombeez.
    Happy to help.

  431. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 1:03

    City of Roses? NOT HEAVEN.

    Next you’ll be telling me the nekkid people aren’t all nubile nymphs!

    Hmph.

  432. monkey knife fight said,

    May 20, 2011 at 1:19

    I’ve said before, but this time, dammit, I mean it:
    Come on guys, there’s nothing funny about mental illness.

  433. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 1:23


    Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2011 at 0:50

    This thread is lacking Zombeez.
    Happy to help.

    Replace the word “Zombeez” with “our Galtian overlords”, and you have a documentary.
    ~

  434. Lord of Sins said,

    May 20, 2011 at 1:46

    Ha ha haha ahahah

    visit my blog: http://www.lordofsins.blogspot.com

    Brazilian greatings

  435. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 1:47

    Also, for the record (not to mention CDs, youtubers, and what have you), I do not approve of Smut Clyde’s (IF that is his real name!) promotion of the the h8full book, 5 Very Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth.
    ~

  436. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 2:13

    I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.

    Boy howdy, isn’t that the truth?

    I mean, not that I know…

  437. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 2:27

    I mean, not that I know…

    Of course not.

    We are waiting for Carl to clear things up.

    And then point and laugh at the Donalde.

  438. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 2:42

    We are waiting for Carl to clear things up.

    Carl’s on a plane, I think. Actually, airlines beg him to fly with them

  439. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 2:48

    Carl’s on a plane, I think. Actually, airlines beg him to fly with them

    Oh. I thought he was flying his plane. You know, piloting and all.

    My bad.

  440. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:00

    I thought he was flying his plane. You know, piloting and all.

    I think someone borrowed his Lear. Possibly TinTin DA.

  441. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:04

    Or Carl’s white-shoe litigator.

    That’s what I heard.

  442. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:09

    Or Carl’s white-shoe litigator.

    DA’s SEK his lawyer?

  443. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:15

    Carl is white-shoe alligator?

  444. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:18

    Flying his/the plane.

  445. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:21

    Jiggling the joystick

  446. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 3:36

    Tired of old, worn-out Jihad Pissicle thread. Needs moar sparkles.

  447. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 20, 2011 at 4:00

    Fenwick, you need new, improved Cialiphate! It will straighten your minaret! It will toe your camel! It will oil your penguin!

  448. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 20, 2011 at 4:46

    Billboard Top 20 for 1967

    1 Lulu …………. To Sir With Love
    2 Box Tops ………… The Letter
    3 Bobby Gentry ………… Ode To Billie Joe
    4 Association ……….. Windy
    5 Monkees ………… I’m A Believer
    6 Doors ………… Light My Fire
    7 Nancy Sinatra and Frank Sinatra ………… Somethin’ Stupid
    8 Turtles …………… Happy Together
    9 Young Rascals ………… Groovin’
    10 Frankie Valli ………… Can’t Take My Eyes Off You
    11 Music Explosion ………. Little Bit O’ Soul
    12 Tommy James and The Shondells ……….. I Think We’re Alone Now
    13 Aretha Franklin ……….. Respect
    14 Stevie Wonder …………. I Was Made To Love Her
    15 Bobby Vee and The Strangers…………. Come Back When You Grow Up
    16 Buckinghams………… Kind Of A Drag
    17 Arthur Conley ……….. Sweet Soul Music
    18 Soul Survivors ………… Expressway To Your Heart
    19 Sam and Dave ……….. Soul Man
    20 Association …………….. Never My Love

  449. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:19

    Gee, thanks, Mr. Oregonian Brewery Person! This thread has been saved by new, improved Cialiphate!

    [voiceover:]
    Right you are, Fenwick. Cialiphate IS new and improved, with extra whiteners and brighteners…new additives to preserve freshness …and a bold new chipotle zing in its secret Special Sauce!

    And remember: Cialiphate is never frozen and always urine-free!

  450. Hey, it's just Alison said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:22

    Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.

    Hey BBBB, I’ll still be here, burnin’ up in the volcanos that we’ll be getting until the final showdown in October.

    Told the boss this morning that we can stop working on the conference preparations: since the saints float away on the weekend and the rest of the world goes to hell in October, there won’t be anyone left to come to our conference in November.

    Except maybe Satan, and I doubt if he’s interested in DNA barcoding.

  451. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:25

    Except maybe Satan, and I doubt if he’s interested in DNA barcoding.

    MARK OF THE BEAST.

  452. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:43

    Mr. Imposter Low-Salt Person:

    Strange you chose this year. I was HS class of ’67.

    Much of the music I liked best–and listened to most–wasn’t ‘mass-appeal’ stuff that climbed very high on on the Billboard Charts. Like Bob Dylan, for example.

    In any event, “Respect” and “Soul Man” held up rather well, didn’t they?

  453. tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:57

    Release the kraken?

  454. M.A.M.Ed.-but-still-kicking said,

    May 20, 2011 at 5:59

    Ah. 1967, the year I was born. What, no Beatles?

  455. M.A.M.Ed.-but-still-kicking said,

    May 20, 2011 at 6:00

    What, no kraken?

  456. tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 6:04

    Boy did I roll up on roadkill.

    I just had some badass sushi and about a gallon of Asahi. Night: complete

  457. tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 6:05

    69. There’s a year.

  458. tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 6:06

    Grease the cracker

  459. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 20, 2011 at 6:34

    FENWICK!!!!!!!!!!!

    I was just curious about 1967 since it was in the news a little bit today;
    but also have been reading Gram Parsons’ bio and he went to L.A. and met David Crosby that year.

    I was in 7th Grade.

  460. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2011 at 7:01

    Not actually bad for Top 40, except sap-fests 1 Lulu …………. To Sir With Love & 20 Association …………….. Never My Love.

    I have fond to vague memories of all the rest.

  461. Hey, it's just Alison said,

    May 20, 2011 at 7:13

    Happy Together. Sadly, poor Leslie Cheung (the tragic character from this film) killed himself in (I think) 2003, by jumping from a hotel window. Kong Kongers were devastated.

  462. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 20, 2011 at 9:47

    POONIS!

  463. Another Kiwi said,

    May 20, 2011 at 10:02

    Billboard Top 10 for next week.
    1. Where have all the cowboys gone?
    2. Hit the road Jack
    3.Wishin’ and Hopin’
    4. There’s a Kind of Hush
    5. I Should Be So Lucky
    6. Up Up and Away
    7. Up Up Up in a Puff of Smoke
    8.Since You’ve Been Gone
    9.Die Yuppie Die
    10. Tonight by Rapture Ruckus

  464. Khouki O'Puss said,

    May 20, 2011 at 10:45

    I know we’ve moved on to zombies and the rapture and all, but someone had to post this dramatic interpretation of the latest Schlusselschrift crystallized to its core essence:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlMJfX_V6Ic

  465. Chris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 11:41

    As I thought. PJM has two articles on Obama’s speech so far: the first explains that this is the inevitable consequence of trying to be nice to the Arab street which is just going to keep asking for more, and therefore in line with his Cairo speech and his support of those uppity darkies demanding democracy, all of which was bad.

    Money quote:

    Having declared himself on the side of the demonstrators and no longer the defender of the status quo, many of the participants in the Arab Street will ask Obama to make his bones. And the only way President Obama can prove that he’s on their side is to throw one or two dictators their way. The Bush plan would be to throw Khamenei and Assad to the crowds first. But that appears to be off the table, because he wants to talk to them, so in the Obama variation the alternative appears to be giving only America’s allies in Bahrain, Saudi Arabia and the only democracy in the Middle East, Israel, the heave-ho. When it is too hard to ditch your enemies, ditch those who trusted you.

    Bless his heart: he actually thinks Bush would’ve been able to throw Khamenei and Assad to the crowds first (hint: you can’t give people what you don’t control). And he appears not to’ve noticed that the Obama policy towards Bahrain and Saudi Arabia has largely been limited to sitting by and watching Saudi troops crush the uprising with little to no commentary.

  466. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2011 at 11:41

    I’ll still be here, burnin’ up in the volcanos that we’ll be getting until the final showdown in October.

    Serves Alison right for choosing to live on such a geologically-unstable chunk of land.

  467. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 11:46

    Serves Alison right

    I think the whole point is that it serves us all right for our wicked, wicked ways. Repent Smut.

  468. Chris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 11:48

    The other article is standard “Obama helping radical Islam” trash, but it started with this:

    President Obama has just finished his speech at the State Department. Much of it, particularly the sections regarding democratization and the Arab dictators whose regimes have begun to fail, echoes in many ways the very policies of the Bush administration — which the Democrats and Obama supporters disparaged and ridiculed when George W. Bush was in power.

    Actually, the only people I remember disparaging and ridiculing democratization in the Middle East were the guys on the far right (or the right, what’s the difference) who thought it was silly to believe that savage brown Mohammedans had it in them to operate a democracy. (In other words, the same people you see in PJTV’s comments sections).

    What Democrats and Obama supporters disparaged and ridiculed was 1) the idea that you could impose democracy at the point of a gun, and 2) the notion that the Gooper undertaking in Iraq had anything at all to do with democracy (it took direct threats from Sistani to get the CPA to agree to the very basic democratic practice called “elections.”)

  469. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 12:11

    he actually thinks Bush would’ve been able to throw Khamenei and Assad to the crowds first

    If anything, Bush helped them solidify power by invading Iraq and basically threatening both Syria and Iran with military incursions (if in fact they didn’t happen anyway).

    AND BUSH MADE NICE WITH GHADDAFY!

    Do these idiots not remember even ten years back????

  470. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2011 at 12:13

    Actually, the only people I remember disparaging and ridiculing democratization in the Middle East were the guys on the far right (or the right, what’s the difference) who thought it was silly to believe that savage brown Mohammedans had it in them to operate a democracy.

    Please come with me, sir. There’s a chair in Room 101 the re-education facility waiting for you.

  471. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 13:39

    Do these idiots not remember even ten years back????

    They’ll forget yesterday if it serves their one true goal in life: pissing off liberals sane people.
    ~

  472. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 13:55

    For someone who doesn’t like peecicles, Debbie’s been munchin’ on that thing for awhile.

  473. soullite said,

    May 20, 2011 at 13:57

    I have it one good authority that piss jugs are simply the way of the road.

  474. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 13:58

    This thread is lacking Zombeez.

    He’s just grumpy ‘cuz I ripped off his arms and used them to beat him about the head and neck.

  475. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 14:00

    I have it one good authority that piss jugs are simply the way of the road.

    Totally true.

  476. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 14:03

    BTW, I made my mother go see that movie with me, and we agreed it lived up to its title. Still, I dig it.

    Some of my favorite lines are in this scene:

    “His head fell off.”

  477. N__B said,

    May 20, 2011 at 15:05

    “His head fell off.”

    Don’t let the little head fall off for the big head!

  478. Tone in DC said,

    May 20, 2011 at 15:14

    OT:

    http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/wonderwes/obama_wearing_ray_skidmores_stetson.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.wonderouswes.com/2007/05/welcome-to-summer-time-love-your-ac.html&usg=__RLQ0kB_6OKD1b8nyfLYKqsrvpkY=&h=359&w=425&sz=36&hl=en&start=8&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=gbpvUx5ChBZ1vM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=126&prev=/search%3Fq%3DObama%2Bstetson%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1226%26bih%3D779%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disz:m%26tbm%3Disch&ei=DHLWTeyIBcbW0QGrs6nDBw

  479. Tone in DC said,

    May 20, 2011 at 15:15

    Link fail.

    http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/wonderwes/obama_wearing_ray_skidmores_stetson.jpg

  480. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 15:30

    Repent Smut.

    Salvation porn sounds boring.

  481. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 15:51

    RE: the 12-year-old who “met Jesus”: the kid claimed Jesus had blue eyes. Which means his author dad is not only a horrible reprobate for forcing his son into such a monstrous lie, but is also a fucking dumbass w/r/t genetics, history, etc etc etc. Please note said book is on the bestseller lists. What this means is that out of the subset of Americans who can still read, a good portion of them don’t know the difference between when they’re reading fiction or non-fiction.

    RE: the Rupture: I like the empty clothes gag. To make it more realistic, pool them up with the undies (preferably soiled) inside them, as if someone had just been sucked right out of ‘em. I worked on trying to put together a handy guide for people so they would know whether they were witnessing the Rupture or the Zombie Apocalypse because let’s face it, there’s a good bit of overlap there, but until I’m through with ciggy withdrawals I’m probably not going to be able to write anything worthwhile.

  482. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:07

    The Rupture will occur during my poker game Saturday (yeah, we start early because some of us are OLD). Lt. Col. (Ret) Teabag is, of course, a Christian. Will report next week on what transpires at 6:00.

  483. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:18

    Man, them X-ians are gonna be so surprised when they figure out the typo. HINT: It’s not caught up in the rapture.

  484. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:37

    Why is a publication called the Christian Science Monitor a place to find relatively even handed news coverage compared to other outlets?

    Here, they smack down the right wing/Isreali poutrage over our first president to actually demonstrate a little bit of courage on the issue.

  485. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:38

    I have it one good authority that piss jugs are simply the way of the road.

    Some poor, pervy schmuck is going to google “piss jugs” and be sorely disappointed. Why do you people hate Rule 34?

  486. Thread "Takei" Bear said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:43

    It’s ok to be Takei!

  487. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:54

    Someone just said they listened to Family Radio this morning (out of curiosity). He said that their reading a five-day forecast was a thoughtful touch though he noted the absence of the coming volcanic explosions.

  488. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 16:58

    It’s ok to be Takei!

    I’m totes het, but I think I would have sex with George Takei, because he’s so goddamn awesome.

    Once again, I have to ling to the best takedown EVAR!!!!

  489. N__B said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:15

    Once again, I have to ling

    Nobody wants you linging in public.

  490. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:19

    I don’t think the volcanic explosions are this weekend, it’s earthquake first, with rapture for the chosen, then a few months of hippy partying stern discipline for the un-saved then comes the lava.

    See, I’m trying to keep up.

  491. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:20

    Salvation porn sounds boring.

    Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.

    Once again, I have to ling

    Cod, I hate when that happens.

  492. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:22

    And just let me say, if I’ve gone through the last day and a half cigarette-free only to find out tomorrow that the end of the world is at hand, Imma gonna be some kind of pissed off.

  493. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:24

    Surely, it has already been linked here, but, I have nothing better to do, so here is a profile of the man behind the coming Rupture:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/20/harold-camping-judgment-day-may-21_n_864507.html

    I kinda feel sorry for the guy………

  494. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:25

    Don’t worry, Jennifer. We heathens still have five more months.

  495. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:26

    Salvation porn sounds boring.

    Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.

    Right there with ya buddy. Halibut good time.

  496. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:27

    “He made a similar prediction in the 1990s but later said he didn’t look close enough at the Book of Jeremiah. This time around, he’s absolutely certain”

    As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”

  497. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:29

    Jennifer, on a serious note, good luck with the quittin’. If you haven’t done it yet, go out to the American Lung Association Freedom From Smoking Online page and get into the program. This was an immense help to me in my quitting (5.5 years and counting).

    TOTALLY WORTH IT.

    Although salmon will tell you you’ll be a failure, your lings will thank you.

  498. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:30

    Don’t worry, Jennifer. We heathens still have five more months.

    Yeah, see, that’s the point. If we’ve only got 5 more months left, I might as well start smoking 4 or 5 packs per day.

  499. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:31

    Surely, it has already been linked here, but, I have nothing better to do, so here is a profile of the man behind the coming Rupture:

    Further evidence that any organization with “family” in its title is a hotbed of fundagelical lunacy.

  500. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:31

    “I forgot to carry the one!!!”

    The chances of any of his wild imaginings happening is exactly equal to the chances of Smut repenting.

  501. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:33

    As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”

    Or…”I outsourced the calculations to Megan McArdle!”

  502. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:36

    Linging in publlic.

    Gotta run. A cop spotted me.

  503. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:37

    As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”

    This is central to my point!

  504. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:37

    Jennifer, on a serious note, good luck with the quittin’. If you haven’t done it yet, go out to the American Lung Association Freedom From Smoking Online page and get into the program. This was an immense help to me in my quitting (5.5 years and counting).

    TOTALLY WORTH IT.

    Although salmon will tell you you’ll be a failure, your lings will thank you.

    Jennifer;

    I’m on day TWELVE, no cigarettes.

    I’m using an e-cigarette that I purchased at 7-11 for about $30. It isn’t making it easy, but it’s smoothing down the jagged edges just enough to keep me at it.

    Believe me, if I can do it, you have better than even odds of being successful. Once you make it past about 6 or 7 days, it really starts to get easier–mainly because you learn how to deal with the withdrawals.

    Do it, girl! You can bitch at me all you want, and I can be the guy who says “mmhmm, I know EXACTLY what you mean.”

  505. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:37

    “Catholic” “Schoolgirls” Yeah, we won’t be herring from Smut for awhile.

  506. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:38

    Gotta run. A cop spotted me.

    So, you’ve never truly abandoned your “Snidely Whiplash” identity…

  507. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:39

    Refreshing the browser, it just hit me… Debbie’s pissicle looks like it’s been sprinkled with Cheeto dust- how appropriate.

  508. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:40

    I don’t think the volcanic explosions are this weekend, it’s earthquake first, with rapture for the chosen, then a few months of hippy partying stern discipline for the un-saved then comes the lava.

    I guess I better fill those ice cube trays.

  509. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:41

    Jen: I’m over two months now, and I’m still having major cravings. Not physical, but the pyschological talons are deeply embedded in me, and I still have to fight it every day.

    Solidarity, sister.

  510. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:44

    The best part of the rapture will be all the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the “good” christians…I can hear it now

    “WHY, GOD, WHY? I HAD THE BUMPER STICKERS AND EVERYTHING…WAHHHHH!”

  511. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:46

    So, you’ve never truly abandoned your “Snidely Whiplash” identity…

    Sort of. It’s still registered in the Double-Secret Identity Roster. But I am Fenwick for now and evermore. Except when I use TinTin, my true and for-real identity

    (Joey thinks Double Secret Identity Roster s a good name for the band, btw. Joey is an idiot.)

  512. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:48

    Relevant and obligatory.

  513. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:49

    Sort of. It’s still registered in the Double-Secret Identity Roster. But I am Fenwick for now and evermore. Except when I use TinTin, my true and for-real identity

    So, the truth is out… Fenwick is Carl Shalamadingdong!!!!

  514. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:50

    the wailing and gnashing of teeth

    Don’t forget the sackcloth and ashes.

    Gotta run now, fer reals. Volunteer shift at the Library.

  515. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:51

    tsam – I’ve got an e-ciggy too. I bought it last fall thinking I was going to try to quit then…so I just broke it out the other day and started using it whenever I start feeling a bit too jagged. But seriously…I’ve not gone more than 24 hours without a cigarette my entire adult life, IIRC. Last time I came close to quitting was over 20 years ago, and even then, I think I was sneaking a drag off of other people’s smokes at work, never did actually go a full day without a single puff. So, that’s positive. And really, so far it has not been all that bad. I do feel a bit on edge, but not to the point of weeping.

  516. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 17:53

    Carl Shalamadingdong!

    Shalamadingdong is a Muslim name, btw, just like Hassan. Lil Debbie will confirm this.

  517. exford legs.. OR AM I? said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:00

    Hey all. It has been about two months of no cigarettes for me, too. I think I am over the cravings because I can get very drunk and reisist the urge to smoke.

    Still will not smoke even if fundies start floating up into the sky. ‘This is a test, Nicotine God, isn’t it? Ha!’

  518. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:07

    exford legs.. OR AM I? said,

    All. One. Guy.

  519. low nicotine hunchback said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:08

    Wanna donate your unused cigs to a worthy cause?

  520. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:08

    think I am over the cravings because I can get very drunk and reisist the urge to smoke.

    EXFORD !

    I substitute the sweet smoke.

    Solidarity, bro.

    And with tsam and all the other Sadlies who have quit. BTW, I decided to used the formula ‘have quit’ rather than ‘trying to quit’. ‘Trying’ holds open a door of possible failure, and therefore a future as a smoker. Small thing, but it helped re-orient my head and made it (marginally) easier to resist the cravings.

  521. exford legs said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:16

    Cheers mate. I think I’m substituting cooked breakfasts and generally being pissy and hyper-critical. Pot doesn’t agree with me.

    Also, when the rapture happens, I’m sure cigarette packs will just fall form the sky.

    Or they will be left in the pockets of piles of clothing.

  522. exford legs said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:19

    Also substituting D-KW’s mom

  523. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:22

    Jennifer: I was very close to bawling my face off a few times during this process. I hated it. It ranged from depression to rage. The worst part is being confused and feeling incredibly dumb the whole time. But little by little, it gets slightly easier and slightly easier.

    The bad part is feeling it get worse for the first 4 or 5 days.

  524. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:23

    Keeping it classy, wingnuts.

  525. Johnny Pez said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:23

    Boy, it’s a good thing nobody told Debs about the Jihadist Phlegm Pops.

    . . . oops

  526. sadly, tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:24

    We must bond together and quit, then get as many other people to quit as possible. Someday, Dog willing, we’ll put those fucking corporations and scumbag weed farmers out of business and in the soup kitchen line.

    Or we could round them up and exterminate them. I’m good with either option.

  527. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:29

    raptor jesus made me lol! also, i quit smoking today…which is kinda awesome timing since i only have to make it through one day…woot!

  528. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:38

    Hiya, Mr. Formerly Imposter Person!

    I would if I could. I crushed them to avoid tempation.

    You know, like talibanjelicals who are in the closet and/or who secretly envy all the fun things that aethists get to do, like drinking and fucking and so on.

    (Btw, as some here may remember, I am an actual Christian who has been hiding out in the hills for decades, part of no church. Don’t like doctrine or hierachies much I view my relationship as direct to the Bible and to God. I seldom talk about it to anyone; it is private.

    Don’t hold back on the Christian jokes! They are hilarious. ( And, alas, there are so many Christians who deserve ridicule and scorn….)

    Off to the Library now..

  529. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:38

    Seriously…one of my mantras is “big tobacco supports the GOP”. I know the thought of some of my hard-earned parasite’s wages going to those ripe fucks helps put some steel in my spine.

  530. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:39

    Quitting:

    Miserable pain in the ass.

    Totally worth it.

  531. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:40

    Carrying the one.

  532. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:41

    “Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D

    crappiest april fool’s joke, ever…

  533. Ron Howard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:41

    Refreshing the browser

    hubbahubba

  534. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:43

    Also, exford’s mom stopped smoking by substituting as well. Let’s just say that she’s an expert on oral fixation.

  535. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:48

    Fenwick Tintin is right. It’s a subtle but powerful tool to think of yourself as an ex-smoker. Make it your mantra: “I am an ex-smoker.”

    gawdam I WISH those asswipes would get raptored away so the rest of us can enjoy the world without their bullshit.

  536. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:49

    Or we could round them up and exterminate them.

    Nicotine is actually a pretty potent insecticide, so it might be effective on the cockroaches in the boardrooms…

  537. exford legs said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:54

    My mum inspired that poetry on your website?

  538. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:54

    i don’t know what y’all are whining about…quitting the smokes is easy! i’ve done it a million times! amirite?!?!

    anyhoo, i do like gop/big tobacco mantra…will use it for reinforcement…also, i’ve had a bit of a sore/irritated throat for the past couple of weeks which is worrisome…could be allergies, could be that i started smoking marlboro 72s…i dunno, but when i think about it, seeing as my dad died of lung cancer almost exactly 11 years ago, i decided it was an incredibly stoopid thing to do and tossed my last remaining cig out my car window this morning on the way to work…

  539. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:57

    Nicotine is deadly poison. Dope a blade with concentrated nicotine to kill someone with a scratch.

  540. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:58

    My mum inspired that poetry on your website?

    Maybe. Is she hot?

    Your dad caught you smoking and he said “No way!”
    That hypocrite smokes two packs a day
    One cig everytime he gets it up the bum,
    But the slatternly whore, that’s your mum.

  541. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:58

    Nicotine is deadly poison. Dope a blade with concentrated nicotine to kill someone with a scratch.

    Well okay, but I figure I’ll get in trouble.

  542. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 18:59

    Er, I am NOT recommending that anyone actually do that…

  543. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:00

    Well okay, but I figure I’ll get in trouble.

    ahem…after tomorrow there will be NO LAWS…duh!

  544. exford legs said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:01

    Is she hot?

    Not really.

  545. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:01

    Er, I am NOT recommending that anyone actually do that…

    p’raps not, but you have given me an awesome idea for my book!!! if you have shattered my block, i will do something totally awesome for you!!!

  546. CRA said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:02

    I want some of what Glen Campbell was smokin’ when he did this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA3DE8pD-ZM

    “Sometimes I imagine myself as a drifter
    A seeker of fortune, connoisseur of great wines
    Dashin’ through meadows of yellow and green
    Tryin’ to catch the impossible dream
    A-leavin’ the straight life behind

    Sometimes my thoughts found me way down in Mexico
    A-drinkin’ tequila goin’ out of my mind
    Havin’ a ball on a couple ‘a bob
    A-treatin’ the ladies to corn on the cob
    A-leavin’ the straight life behind”

    Once [Sonny Curtis; Glen didn't write the song] got so loaded that he treated the ladies to corn on the cob. He reminisces on that until his wife comes to him “softly with crackers and beer.” Add the syrupy production and it’s surreal. Makes me want to leave the straight life behind.

  547. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:02

    Shoulda knowed you’d beat my disclaimer.

    Beating the disclaimer.

  548. Thread "Tintin" Bear said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:03

    Carrying the one.

    What the libruls will be doing in the next election.

  549. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:05

    Preempting the euphemism.

  550. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:06

    Doping a blade.

    While your mom may not be all that hot,
    And your dad’s ass gets pounded a lot,
    He’s still quite a n00blet amatuer,
    Compared to your mom who is such a whore.

  551. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:16

    Your dad’s got a way with a peter
    That you have not got with your meter.

  552. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:20

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
    Counting syllables is a big pain
    In the butt. That’s why your dad loves it so.
    But it’s your mom that fucks for dough.

  553. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:20

    “Nicotine is deadly poison. Dope a blade with concentrated nicotine to kill someone with a scratch”

    Sounds like a superhero power. Fagman?

  554. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:22

    Your mama’s ass may be prime
    But not so much your rhyme

  555. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:23

    i hope he wasn’t ripping into a slim jim…

  556. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:25

    Something something slime.
    Also.

  557. Johnny Pez said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:27

    Your dad gets cornholed every night
    Your dad don’t put up any fight
    Your dad finds he can sooth the burns
    With all the cash mom’s pussy earns

  558. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:29

    I’m thinking Korean tacos 4 lunch. Bulkogi, sprouts, julienne cuke, carrot, kim chee, cilantro, soft corn tortillas. Squeeze of lime. Koifusionpdx.com. NOM NOM

  559. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:31

    Your dad slurps the boners of guys who don’t know him
    But the shame in your house is your way with a poem.

  560. Ron Howard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:32

    slimming the jim

  561. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:35

    Your father’s perversions
    And depraved urgings
    Have nothing to do
    With my inability to string words together with any type of flow or pattern.
    YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE.

  562. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:38

    Arggghh. Pretend like I used the word “semblance” instead of “type”.

    Dammit.

  563. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:38

    her twat is all skank and his poop chute is worse
    It’s still not as bad as your efforts at verse

  564. CRA said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:41

    I seem to have fallen in with a rough crowd.

  565. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:43

    Like your dad said, “everyone’s a critic,”
    While he sat down on yet another prick.
    “Forcing it to fit is an error,
    So I was taught by your mom the dirty whore.”

  566. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:44

    Your dad goes for meat like a ravenous vulture
    Your poems won’t bring your old mom horticulture.

  567. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:45

    They say that the length of one’s feet
    gives a sense of the size of his meat
    your dad prefers anapest
    but l’il Victor is Pyrrhic at best.

  568. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:46

    Substance and Puppi are ganging up
    To pick on the Dragon; two boys, one cup
    Of hate for the meter that he lays down
    But your mom’s the whore, they tell me downtown.

  569. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:54

    The Poo Testament.

  570. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 19:55

    In my defense, I never claimed to be good at poetry
    Just at fucking your mom.
    And while taking it up the ass makes your dad go SQUEEEEEEEE!
    Your mother makes me come.

  571. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:02

    But I was already there.

  572. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:04

    Or maybe a grass fed, dry aged burger at at Violetta. The truffle fries are fucking awesome too.

  573. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:05

    for CRA,

    Falling in with a rough crowd.

  574. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:06

    “But I was already there.”

    AGAIN? You just had to come back for more…

  575. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:08

    Your takes ‘em two at a time from the mines
    But what’s filthy and grubby are your dreadful lines.

  576. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:11

    True story:

    My son was about four when I first heard him singing along to a tune on the radio from the backseat: “I’m on the highway to hell……”

  577. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:20

    You post sixteen rhymes and what do you get
    Nitpicky gripes about your meter and yet
    The reason your poems just do not have that flow
    You owe your soul to their mother’s store.

  578. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:21

    Or maybe a grass fed, dry aged burger at at Violetta. The truffle fries are fucking awesome too

    you sir, are an ass…i have been fighting the urge for a cheezburger all freaking day…

  579. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:21

    My son was about four when I first heard him singing along to a tune on the radio from the backseat: “I’m on the highway to hell……”

    I sure hope he was pumping his tiny, dimple-knuckled fist in the air as he sang.

  580. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:22

    Fighting the urge for a cheezburger…

  581. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:23

    STOP SAYING CHEEZBURGER!!!

  582. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:26

    Good news: Downton Abbey and Sherlock will return with new episodes this season.

    Way. Fucking. Cool.

  583. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:26

    Cheez. Burger.

  584. Ron Howard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:28

    Pumping the dimple-knuckled fist?

  585. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:31

    Cheez. Burger

    grrrrrrrr…i am resisting and going with roast turkey w/green beans, cranberries and almonds…

  586. Anonymous said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:31

    I sure hope he was pumping his tiny, dimple-knuckled fist in the air as he sang.

    Makes me think of this.

  587. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:33

    Okay, I’ll eschew the cheezburger. I’ve decided to get banh mi instead of a cheeseburger. Though I do love a good cheezburger, I’m sorry I set bbkf off by talking about cheeseburgers. So I apologize for saying cheezburger and will now head out for banh mi instead of a cheezburger.

  588. smedley said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:34

    Cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger. Pepsi no Coke.

  589. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:39

    oh ha, ha, ha…first i get no love for giving up the smokes and now you torture me with the cheez burgers…and lots of bad bum poetry…hmmmph!

  590. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:40

    i would flounce off in a snit, however it is raining outside…

  591. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:41

    DKW’s dad has a very bad bum.

  592. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:42

    Wait. Do you mean poetry about bad bums or that the poetry about bums is bad?

  593. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:43

    Your snit is an open-air model?

  594. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:43

    Pup Max’s dad’s ass is poetic.

  595. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:45

    Maybe she just doesn’t want her snit to get wet. Not much grosser than runny snit.

  596. Helmut Monotreme aka 77south said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:45

    I sure hope he was pumping his tiny, dimple-knuckled fist in the air as he sang.

    I hope he was making the “sign of the devil” Ronnie James Dio style.

  597. Euphemonious Monk said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:55

    Flouncing the snit.

  598. Euphemonious Monk said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:57

    Or simply “flouncing off”.

  599. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:58

    Wait. Do you mean poetry about bad bums or that the poetry about bums is bad?

    yes

  600. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 20:59

    WELL. I happen to think my hobo-related poetry is pretty damn great.

    *flounces off* And I am wearing a cape, so it is an awesome flounce!

  601. John Revolta said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:08

    eschewing the cheezburger…………………..

  602. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:09

    Pumping the dimple-knuckled fist?

    This isn’t a euphemism!

    Makes me think of this.

    The best thing about that video is the fact that the kid is brandishing a potato gun!

    So I apologize for saying cheezburger and will now head out for banh mi instead of a cheezburger.

    How about a cheezburger bahn mi? And don’t be stingy with the sriracha!

  603. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:21

    To all you folks quitting smoking — YAY FOR YOU!!! Keep it up, and bitch if you’ve got to. Have a good weekend, assuming Sunday happens…

  604. Helmut Monotreme aka 77south said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:22

    heh. Loading up on the sriracha.

  605. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:30

    I have a running gag with my friend Vinh the vietnamese grocer. I always ask her for galangal and with mock outrage she waves her index finger at me and says; NO, is thai!! Don’t ask her for sriracha on your banh-mi.

  606. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:32

    Speaking of “No Coke! Pepsi!”…Dan Aykroyd was supposed to be Belushi’s brother, right? So why did they have totally different accents?

    Belushi: “Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger!”

    Aykroyd: “Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey!”

  607. Ron Howard said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:36

    So why did they have totally different accents?

    I thought it was pretty obvious that Aykroyd was adopted.

  608. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:39

    Good work quitting smoking
    You’re dad’s up for poking.

  609. EthnoPatriot said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:40

    Black homicides have reached a “crisis level” in Nashville.

    In 2008, Tennessee had America’s fifth highest rate of black homicides. Nashville, with 42 black murder victims, had a rate higher than the state average and in 2009 surpassed Memphis to become the most violent city in the Volunteer State.

    If you are black in Nashville, you are 5x more likely to be murdered than if you are White. Black homicides have risen while White homicides have declined for several years now.

    The motives of these homicides are various: abuse, domestic problems, drugs, gang activity, robberies, etc.

    Black community leaders are blaming a sense of “hopelessness” in the affected areas. “Those are the ones that are dangerous,” said Jerry Maynard, a Metro City Councilman. “Because they feel they have no future.”

    “In our own city, we have kids that see the rest of the world on TV, they see it across the street. How do I get from where I am to graduate high school, to graduate college, to get a job?” said Metro Police Chief Steve Anderson. “The reduction in federal funding for police prevention programs, for police outreach programs, is also going to have an effect.”

    Black children in Nashville grow up in “a world that includes drugs, prostitution and violence on a daily basis.” We are told that “public housing developments like J.C. Napier, Sam Levy and James Cayce” are where “much of this violence has occurred.”

    Police Chief Anderson told The Tennessean, “The public in general doesn’t realize this is another world you’re driving by each day. There is another world that you don’t recognize that needs your support, that needs your attention. They really don’t understand what’s going on in the inner city.”

    Councilman Maynard believes that Nashville needs an “all out effort” along the lines of the response to the Cumberland River flood to stop the epidemic of black-on-black homicide.

    He explains, “Black-on-black crime is not a black problem. It’s a Nashville problem because tourists will not come here, businesses will not come here. We will strangle economic growth if we do not come to a solution to this.”

    The blacks of Nashville are fouling their own nest and it is Whitey’s responsibility to clean up the mess. There has been a 31 percent increase in the homicide rate since black community leaders declared a “cease fire” last year.

    Why are these people so utterly helpless?

    The Dark Side of Black Run America

    Nashville’s predicament with black-on-black crime is just one of the many unintended consequences of Black Run America that respectable liberals and conservatives are afraid to talk about.

    A few observations:

    (1) Much of the gang warfare in Nashville goes on in the public housing projects that were built as part of the War on Poverty for the explicit purpose of abolishing underclass social pathologies through government social engineering.

    These programs were based on the premise that the individual is a product of his environment. When the federal government created a new environment for blacks, they moved into their new neighborhoods and quickly destroyed them.

    (2) There is nothing stopping blacks from graduating from high school or college. Their skin color actually works to their advantage when trying to find a job in the private sector or get into a public university.

    Intelligent blacks can and do graduate from high school and move on to lucrative jobs in the diversity obsessed private sector.

    Most blacks are unable to compete with Whites in integrated classrooms because they are objectively less intelligent than their White peers.

    The problem was never the Jim Crow schools. When the federal government gave blacks access to the White schools, they brought the racial gap with them into their new environment.

    (3) Most of these black murderers come from “broken families.” Fatherlessness has a causal relationship to violent crime. An incredible 59 percent of black women now have children by two different fathers.

    The black male is unable to compete with the federal government as a provider for black women. Most of these households are beneficiaries of various types of federal anti-poverty programs. White liberals have fostered and encouraged this type of extreme dependency.

    Whether it is housing projects, welfare, or integrated public schools, White liberal attempts to uplift blacks through government intervention programs have a long track record of failure. And those are just the most obvious examples.

    (4) Integration didn’t benefit all blacks in the same way.

    The dirty little secret of integration is that it allowed the so-called “talented tenth” to abandon the black underclass and move up into the White world.

    Under Jim Crow, the “talented tenth” was excluded from the White world on the basis of race. They were forced to live among their co-ethnics and cater to them and respond to all their various social problems.

    Who benefits from meritocracy, affirmative action, and relentlessly promoting diversity? The “talented tenth” which is given the means to escape the black world.

    They leave the old neighborhood behind which has the effect of robbing it of its natural leadership and compounding its various social problems.

    (5) Integration has cowed Whites into submission.

    Whites are unable to defend their own property and institutions under the present system of forced integration. They adapt by fleeing areas which they are unable to control.

    The Whites take the jobs and the tax base with them. The “talented tenth” follows the White wagon train to each new Whitopia. An underground economy moves into the geographic vacuum where the black underclass has been left behind.

    It is “another world” out there precisely because it is a black underclass world. Violent crime spirals out of control because integration has forced Whites to abandon those areas. It has also given upwardly mobile blacks their ticket out of the hood.

    (6) The Cultural Revolution has destroyed White confidence in their own traditional culture.

    Whites used to take great pride in forcing Christianity and middle class values onto blacks. Now that the pressure to assimilate into White American norms is gone, blacks are losing their Christian veneer and reverting back to their base racial way of doing things.

    Christianity worked for blacks. It restrained a population that is naturally less intelligent and less conscientious than Whites. It curtailed their natural polygamy and licentiousness.

    (7) The overarching myth of Black Run America is that every American is an individual who is born as a blank slate with the same opportunity to succeed in our capitalist economy. Environmental obstacles like racism and poverty alone stop blacks from climbing the social ladder into the American middle class.

    This dangerous myth that everyone is equal and has the same chance has resulted in the abandonment of the black underclass in Nashville. It doesn’t acknowledge the ugly social reality that human beings are not born as interchangeable parts.

    The black underclass is shuttled into public schools and the private sector where they don’t have the intelligence to compete with their racial brethren for scholarships and job opportunities. They drop out and fall into a life of drug abuse and violent crime which has been exacerbated by black flight into the White suburbs.

    Comparatively, Jim Crow America was a more humane place to live for the black underclass for three major reasons:

    - A society based on Christian values and racial inequality will accept that some blacks are unable to succeed for biological reasons and will respond by tailoring its culture, social institutions, and economy around dealing with that unpleasant fact.

    - A society based on race will blunt class divisions. As I explained above, the “talented tenth” was forced by Jim Crow segregation to live among their weaker brethren and steward their communities, which was a far more successful social reform than any progressive anti-poverty program.

    - Under Jim Crow, Whites were self confident and explicitly in control of their own society. They didn’t have to flee Southern cities like Birmingham to the surrounding suburbs. The “talented tenth” had no incentive to leave either.

    While there was some white-on-black violence under Jim Crow, there was far less violence overall because of these instructive lessons in racial hierarchy, blacks were safer in what is now called the “inner cities,” and there weren’t nearly as many blacks in prison as there are today.

    The ugly truth that blacks are unwilling to confront is that the Klan was nowhere near as much of a menace to blacks in Jim Crow America as blacks are likely to be murdered, raped, robbed, or assaulted by feral black criminals in Black Run America.

    White/Black

    Every negative thing that has been said about Black Run America above is equally true of the White community. It is only a difference of degree.

    The same cultural trends that have been unleashed in the black inner city are destroying White America at a slower rate. The parallel of the black underclass experience with cocaine in the inner city ghettos is the White experience with meth, alcohol, and prescription drug abuse in trailer parks.

    The present meritocratic system allows the “talented third” of White America to abandon the cities, small towns, and rural communities of the American South for high paying jobs and exclusive suburbs in other parts of the country.

    22 percent of White women now have children by multiple fathers. Christianity is collapsing. The White nuclear family is dissolving along with it. The old middle class values are under constant assault from the counterculture and the redistributive state.

    The myth of Black Run America that everyone has the same chance in life (i.e., you just need to be reeducated to be a nuclear physicist) and that White racial consciousness is synonymous with evil has hurt the White underclass more than anyone else. Nowhere in Black Run America is a there a greater sense of hopelessness.

    The best and the brightest of the small towns now graduate from college and move off to the big cities. The White underclass has been completely abandoned by its natural leadership. No one even gives lip service to caring about the “white trash” anymore.

    A traditional organic society like Jim Crow America which was based on Christian values and racial inequality elevated the White underclass. It blunted class divisions among Whites and worked to their economic advantage. Racial identity gave other Whites a stake in their lives.

    Solutions

    The solutions being proposed by the political class of Nashville reflect the fact that the truth about human inequality was the first casualty of Black Run America.

    Just listen to these great ideas: new housing projects, spending more money, community centers, “ways of giving our young people hope,” distractions like sports and music, “real mentors,” “volunteers to work with poor kids,” rebuilding the black family, etc.

    The “young people” here don’t have any hope because they have been abandoned by their co-ethnics. These ghettos are what happen when blacks are sorted by intelligence and economic segregation is allowed to create an impermeable geographic barrier to the outside world.

    In so many words, this is what happens when you replace a race based society with a class based one.

  610. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:43

    Thanks for the copypasta, but I already had lunch.

  611. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:45

    Their skin color actually works to their advantage when trying to find a job in the private sector or get into a public university.

    I feel a citation is needed here.

  612. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:48

    I feel a citation is needed here.

    Odd. All I feel is the need to run to the bathroom.

  613. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:48

    Whatevs, spam I am.
    ~

  614. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:48

    Ethnopatriot’s dad likes to smoke pole
    and shove multiple dicks up his hole
    though he fucked every orifice sore
    it’s really his mom who’s the whore

  615. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:48

    No copy pasta needed here either: 36 hour sous-vide spare ribs seared on the grill, Florida new potatoes, fresh picked yellow squash, mixed green salad. DIY sous vide is the bomb, best ribs you’ll ever have.

  616. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:49

    Just listen to these great ideas: new housing projects, spending more money, community centers, “ways of giving our young people hope,” distractions like sports and music, “real mentors,” “volunteers to work with poor kids,” rebuilding the black family, etc.

    Ha ha, what a total waste to give a shit about black kids in the inner city!

  617. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:50

    Somehow, the proximity of my post to tigris’ lessens the excellence of our dinner.

  618. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:52

    Egads, ambiguous pronoun antecedents or whatever it’s called. Oh well, you know what I meant.

  619. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:53

    Ethnopatriot’s dad taught him how to suck dick
    And the rusty trombone and the Aristocrats trick
    Taught him every possible way to get laid
    But he learned from his mom to get fucked and get paid.

  620. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:53

    Just think of it as dessert, El M.

  621. low nicotine hunchback said,

    May 20, 2011 at 21:54

    Sous-vide: French for “under vacuum”,

    Say no more.

  622. EthnoPatriot said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:03

    The sad truth that White liberals, and even some ‘conservatives’ refuse to face is that blacks and hispanics are biologically less intelligent than Whites and as such are more prone to criminality, illegitimacy and other social and economic vices than Whites. What Jim Crow society did was enforce the natural racial hierarchy and thus Jim Crow America was a more moral and more prosperious society than our current postmodern, hyperbalkanized, multicultural cesspool “America.”

    Which, by the ways things are going with our shifting demographics, high gas prices and economic recession would be better off being left for the dogs.

  623. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:04

    DIY sous vide is the bomb,

    tell me more, my lovely…

  624. The dog said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:06

    Cool. Leave.

  625. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:06

    Egads, ambiguous pronoun antecedents or whatever it’s called. Oh well, you know what I meant.

    i dunno…i think ethnopatriot’s dad should shove multiple dicks up his son’s rectum…

  626. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:10

    Ethnopatriot loves him some giant black dick
    He’s afraid to admit it, his priest told him it’s sick,
    at the time that he said that, he was fucking him sore
    But even with all that it’s his mom who’s the whore.

  627. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:11

    Oh, and of course the copypasta troll didn’t even credit the original author of this “ANALysis” — assuming this is just our typical troll and not the original racist.

    (Do not click that link if you value your sanity, nothing but the copypasta and a bunch of rotten mangoes as garnish)

    Oh, and the original author is featured here (safe). Pretty tough to be too racist even for the teahadis, but this guy’s managed it.

  628. vacuumslayer said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:12

    The sad truth that White liberals, and even some ‘conservatives’ refuse to face is that blacks and hispanics are biologically less intelligent than Whites and as such are more prone to criminality, illegitimacy and other social and economic vices than Whites.

    Actually, no. There are things that affect intelligence, such as access to decent education, environment and proper nutrition. When people are provided with proper education, a decent living environment and proper nutrition, there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.

  629. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:14

    there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.

    are you sure about this, vs? it seems their is a significant lack of intelligence amongst those of the teaparty race…

  630. Chris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:15

    Actually, no. There are things that affect intelligence, such as access to decent education, environment and proper nutrition. When people are provided with proper education, a decent living environment and proper nutrition, there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.

    Well, most biological tests done to investigate the validity of eugenic theory has shown that there’s often more biological difference between two individuals of the same “race” than between individuals of different “races,” I believe.

    What the fuck a “race” is is another question entirely, of course. A hundred years ago, Jews were considered “colored” and listed as such when they immigrated to the country. Interestingly, Arabs were considered white. Today, Jews are white and Arabs are decidedly not. Right from the outset, “race” is an arbitrary concept with constantly changing goalposts. It’s socio-cultural Calvinball on crack.

  631. VS said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:16

    Well, all they eat is cheetos.

  632. EthnoPatriot said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:17

    You liberals can scoff all you want, but liberals are directly responsible for the mess America is in right now. It was liberals who used the activist courts to ban racial segregation thus beginning the downward spiral of American society, it was liberals who voted for and passed the 1964 Civil Rights Act, it was liberal drunken whoremaster Ted Kennedy who co-sponsered and pushed for the 1965 Immigration Act which resulted in millions of third world illiterates both “legal” and illegal invading our shores and pouring across our borders.

    Liberals are like a cancer that eats away at the moral fabric of their host society. Scoff all you want liberals, but this Brave New Hellhole that America has become is your doing.

  633. Chris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:19

    You liberals can scoff all you want

    Yes We Can.

  634. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:20

    You liberals can scoff all you want, but liberals are directly responsible for the mess America is in right now. It was liberals who used the activist courts to ban racial segregation thus beginning the downward spiral of American society, it was liberals who voted for and passed the 1964 Civil Rights Act, it was liberal drunken whoremaster Ted Kennedy who co-sponsered and pushed for the 1965 Immigration Act which resulted in millions of third world illiterates both “legal” and illegal invading our shores and pouring across our borders.

    Liberals are like a cancer that eats away at the moral fabric of their host society. Scoff all you want liberals, but this Brave New Hellhole that America has become is your doing.

    dude, you are just stone cold full of shit…and you know that even you can’t possibly believe your racist bullshit and still be smart enough to breathe…

  635. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:21

    but this Brave New Hellhole that America has become is your doing

    also, i love hell holes…especially brave new ones :)

  636. VS said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:22

    “whoremaster?”

    Nice.

  637. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:24

    where’s raptor jesus when you really need him?

  638. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:28

    also, too…i am off to fetch teh daughter and take her out to dinner…if perchance i do not get to check in tomorrow before the rapture, t’was nice knowing y’all…or, i’ll just talk to you on sunday…wevs…

  639. VS said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:29

    Have fun, bbkf.

    Also, racists taste like burning rubber.

  640. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:30

    if perchance i do not get to check in tomorrow before the rapture, t’was nice knowing y’all…

    Oh like any of us would be going anywhere in any case.

  641. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:30

    where’s raptor jesus when you really need him?

    Call David Brooks, he’s got the scoop.
    ~

  642. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:33

    I thought all Canadians go to heaven?
    ~

  643. tigris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:36

    Hey, if you don’t love Brave New Hellholica get the fuck out.

  644. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:38

    Canadians are already in heaven.

  645. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:42

    We are told that “public housing developments like J.C. Napier, Sam Levy and James Cayce” are where “much of this violence has occurred.”

    Yet little violence has taken place at the Sir William Napier, Eugene Levy, and Edgar Cayce public housing developments. (Well, a few incidents of violence at Napier. He was a Napoleonic officer, after all.)

    ————————

    EthnoPatriot is an easy call: Not a fake troll.

    Length of the introductory copy-paste is an obvious giveaway. Thereafter, the deeply-ingrained quality of the racism–and sustained for so long!–is a signature of absolutely genuine reichwing thought.

    Stylistic notes for future Sadlynaut Fake-Trolling fun:

    (1) For maximum authenticity, begin with lengthy cut-and-paste lifted from Nashviile news (interspersed with short racist ‘interpretive’ commentary).

    (2) Use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Avoid exclamation marks.

    (3) Capitalize ‘White’. (Also use ‘ethnic group’ and similar ‘polite’ terms for Teh Niggers.)

    (4) Introduce sub-heads, such as ‘Black Ruled America’

    I haven’t yet cultured this specimen in the Petri dish, but I’ve made some preliminary notes (which I do not choose to make public, in case I take a shot at an EthoPatriot parody in the future).

    Interesting specimen, this one! I wonder if it will stick around for conversation? Is it capable of conversation?

  646. VS said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:43

    “Hey, if you don’t love Brave New Hellholica get the fuck out.”

    Tee hee!

  647. Chris said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:46

    EthnoPatriot is an easy call: Not a fake troll.

    I must leave. But before I do: concur. Ils ont un cave troll! Sacrebleu!

  648. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:47

    “EthnoPatriot” posts under the nym “Bugs” over at Atrios’ place. I’d know that stream of stench anywhere.

    And I live in Nashville. I call bullshit.
    .

  649. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:54

    It is capable of interaction!

    More data for Fake-Trolling fun.

    (1) Add ‘hispanics’ to the racist stew; it’s not just Teh Niggers. [Be sure to use the ‘polite’ cover word for Teh Messicans.

    (2) Its preferred form of general address is ‘liberals’. Usually without modifiers (unlike the Coach).

    (3) One identifiable fixation: Ted Kennedy. Include this for authenticity.

  650. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 20, 2011 at 22:55

    (1) Add ‘hispanics’ to the racist stew

    This one claims to be Hispanic, btw.
    .

  651. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:04

    This one claims to be Hispanic, btw.

    Um, suuuuurrrrre…………….no.

  652. CRA said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:06

    Ethnopatriot, have you ever treated the ladies to corn on the cob?

  653. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:07

    Jeff: Thanks! I’ll have a larger text sample with which to work.

    I remember your earlier ‘Don’t be hatin’ on Tennessee’ comment during the Whisky-and-Such strand.

    Nashville must be an interesting place to live. You’ve got your own classic movie, after all. [True fact for VS: Nashville was shot in Arkansas!] Nashville is one of the epic centers of American music. From what I understand, it also has lots of kitsch, like Baltimore.

  654. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:09

    It’s time to Rapture this threedle.

    TinTin?

    Carl?

    Hello?

  655. Ann Althaus™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:11

    Sorry Looch. Teh Lord has taken them up.
    ~

  656. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:14

    Can I have their stuff?

  657. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:14

    I must have missed the troll’s I’m-Hispanic claim.

    (And yet I read S,N closely. Or did it make this claim in its alternate ‘Bugs’ manifestation infestation?)

  658. Fenwick said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:16

    It’s time to Rapture this threedle.

    TinTin?

    Carl?

    Hello?

    Sorry. I’m busy right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it.

  659. tsam said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:22

    Nice troll. We should kill it.

  660. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:23

    True fact for VS: Nashville was shot in Arkansas!

    Not all of it. Some was very obviously shot in Nashville, at Centennial Park.
    .

  661. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:26

    Sorry. I’m busy right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it.

    So, can I have your stuff?

  662. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:29

    (And yet I read S,N closely. Or did it make this claim in its alternate ‘Bugs’ manifestation infestation?)

    Yes — “Busg” makes this claim, and I am about 97% certain this is the same troll. Same M.O. — always about the “inferior races,” et al.
    .

  663. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:44

    inferior races

    Formula 1 trolls.

  664. Another Kiwi said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:46

    Feelin a little down? Trolling not quite the buzz it once was? Folks pointing and laughing instayed of gittin’ all orney on’t?
    You need Trollivite! One blue pill will cure that lethagy, that empty “My soul has been sucked out of my rectum and I grasp hold of any pathetic validation of my existence” feeling.
    Call “0800 My life is a suppurating pile of foetid dingo penises”, for your free sample today*
    (*may attract shipping costs of many thousands of dollars)

  665. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:55

    Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.
    Have they thrown away their mascara?

  666. Looch said,

    May 20, 2011 at 23:58

    The troll can keep his stuff.

  667. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:11

    Well, y’all seem raptured. bbl
    .

  668. EthnoPatriot said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:19

    You liberals scoff because political correctness has blinded you to the truth. Whenever a mulitracial/multicultural society has existed it has been a disastor to all who live within it. Look no farther South Africa since the end of apartied. Under apartied, South Africa was the most powerful and wealthiest Nation in SubSaharan Africa. Its economy and standard of living was more comparable to that of Europe and the United States than that of the rest of Africa.

    But with the fall of Apartied and the ascention of Nelson Mandella’s terrorist regime South Africa now has one of the highest homicide rates in the world. Where as previously its violent crime rates were again much lower comparable to those of 1950s America and Europe. Its once prosperous agrarian society also suffered and its economy is now in ruins. South Africa is now safely considered a third world nation by most standards. And an abyssmal one at that. Black on White crime is at a record high which the black controlled government turns a blind eye towards and in some cases actively encourages.

    This is what the left wishes for America with their “glamorization” of black culture and a massive government supported increase in third world immigration, both “legal” and illegal. Why do you think our federal government turns a blind eye to the invasion going on across our southern border?

    Accidential or deliberate and systematic government policy? I believe the evidence speaks for itself.

  669. St. Looch said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:22

    I believe the evidence speaks for itself that I am 14 years old and almost out of fourth grade.

    Done fixxored that, I did.

  670. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:26

    The evidence may speak, but it can’t spell.

  671. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:34

    Ethnopatriot makes it a policy
    To suck dicks through bathroom wallicys
    Though his paste-posts are bore-y
    His holes are all glory
    But his dick is sadly so smallicy

  672. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:39

    Whale,

    O man, that is an instant classic!!!

  673. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:41

    You liberals scoff because political correctness has blinded you to the truth.

    It’s good to hear that Jesus has become politically correct.

  674. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:42

    Damn. I wish I hadn’t left the keys to the blog in my other sockpuppet…

  675. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:46

    So…since the Rapture prophecy says that it will be a rolling Rapture, and since I’m no longer on the West coast, I’m trusting our Left Coast brethren to monitor the eleven o’clock news out there for bulletins about earthquakes in Fiji

  676. CRA said,

    May 21, 2011 at 0:49

    I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.

    A funny use of scare quotes: “immigration, both ‘legal’ and illegal.” What shall we make of this? Is legal immigration really illegal? In what sense? Is there any legal immigration? Is illegal immigration referred to as legal?… No, the author is inept, as with “glamorization.”

    I don’t have an essentialist view of race or culture, so looking to South Africa or anywhere else fails to confirm that change or mixing make matters worse. Supposed characteristics of this group or that have only illusory power to explain what the world’s coming to. Focusing on these characteristics and their imagined interactions can only obscure matters, however seductive a practice it might be for little minds.

  677. tigris said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:01

    I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.

    PROOF that white peeples is intelligenter!

  678. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:02

    looking to South Africa or anywhere else fails

    Particularly since I’ve heard that the BRIC countries are about to be expanded to the BRICS, to include, yes…South Africa among the world’s fastest-growing economies.

    Yeah, them blackamoors cain’t self-govern for shit.

  679. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:14

    Hey hey hey El M.! I got started with a mediumish largish cooler which worked just fine though it was a bit of a pain to get the right temp to start. A Flintstones type strip steak, plenty big for the two of us, could go about 6 hours before temp falling off. I’m building my own now, home-brewed temp controller board (PIC μ, an SCR, and a probe), water pump from the Homo Depot lawn and garden section.

    Love hitting it with my propane torch just prior to serving, to Maillard it up.

  680. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:16

    Oops – couple immersion coffee heater thangs.

  681. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:20

    We have one Kiwi – ONE ONLY thank you Snail Joust and FY other antipodeans – who has promised to let us know when to start the repenting. Truth be told, if it’s the gawd of the bible doing it, I’d rather stay here; that guy is a total dick.

  682. Spearhafoc, who hasn't read a read a single post in this thread said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:31

    Could somebody sum up the thread for me?

    Were there euphemisms?

  683. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:33

    Oops – couple immersion coffee heater thangs.

    Ledernacken had a song titled Tauchsieder.

  684. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:34

    We have one Kiwi – ONE ONLY thank you Snail Joust and FY other antipodeans

    Alison is from Ozzystoryollya, if I remember rightly.

  685. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:36

    “Alison is from Ozzystoryollya, if I remember rightly.”

    Yet another reason to despise the hobbitlanders.

  686. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 1:41

    Mein cherman ist ganz staubig.

  687. Anonymous said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:01

    I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc

    i don’t know about all youse, but sunday morning i will awake feeling pretty dreadful cos i ‘apartied’ after the rapturing…

  688. Anonymous said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:02

    I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc

    pee, peehad, poop, penis, raptor jesus, white people r awesome and black and brown people are dumb and el m made some kick ass ribs…

  689. Anonymous said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:03

    and oh, yeah…there were euphemisms…

  690. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:06

    damn…i’m anonymous!!!

  691. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:14

    damn…i’m anonymous!!!

    You’re better off that way, if he knew who you were and where you lived, a certain Dragon King would be climbing through your window at 4AM looking for a booty call.

  692. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:17

    You’re better off that way, if he knew who you were and where you lived, a certain Dragon King would be climbing through your window at 4AM looking for a booty call.

    well, i am somebody’s mother so i can see where the attraction lies…

  693. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:17

    looking for a booty call

    oh, wait…

  694. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:18

    You liberals can scoff all you want, but liberals are directly responsible for

    No, it was you southern confederate dickhead crackers who lost the fucking Civil War & started this nation on the road to swarthy decline. Stop blaming liberals for your abject failure, & take some of that responsibility you honkies handle so well, unlike the darkies.

    Loooooo-ser!!

  695. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:23

    think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.

    PROOF that white peeples is intelligenter!

    What are you, some kind of social scientician???

  696. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:23

    waiting for a new thread is almost as tedious as awaiting the rapture…

  697. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:23

    awaiting the rapture

  698. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:24

    Love hitting it with my propane torch just prior to serving, to Maillard it up.

    Ducks were last thread, Poopy

  699. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:26

    Rising in the sky
    Heeding the call

    Raptures make for crappy euphemisms

  700. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:26

    paul molitor just said that harmon killebrew’s greatest wish was for people to be nice to each other…can’t we all just get along for the killer?!?

  701. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:26

    I have to admit, the thought of a rolling Rapture appeals to me. I like an organized Armageddon. The others are too messy.

  702. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:27

    Heeding the call

    Raptures make for crappy euphemisms

    nah…heeding the call and awaiting the rapture are full of win!

  703. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:27

    can’t we all just get along for the killer?!?

    *polite golf clap*

    Very nicely played, madam!

    Martini?

  704. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:28

    the thought of a rolling Rapture appeals to me.

    oh, they are appealing all right…girls are lucky that way…

  705. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:28

    I’m watching the Giro d”italia on the TeeVee, and the best euphemism I can come up with is cranking the pedals

  706. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:29

    Martini?

    thank you sir…p’raps we can meet up after the rapture for a dry one…

  707. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:29

    Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.

  708. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:30

    cranking the pedals

    ouch…

  709. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:30

    thank you sir…p’raps we can meet up after the rapture for a dry one…

    If hellfire and brimstone break out, that may be all we can have. But I’m up for a dry one

  710. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:30

    Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.

    or snapping into the slim jim…

  711. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:32

    or snapping into the slim jim…

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! YEA!

  712. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:49

    “True fact for VS: Nashville was shot in Arkansas!”

    Not all of it. Some was very obviously shot in Nashville, at Centennial Park.

    You mean the location for the great final scene that tied all the story threads together? I thought that was a terrific production-design reproduction! (The scene was actually filmed in Fort Smith, as I recall…)

  713. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:51

    Pood forn:

    Stouffer’s® Sautés FOR TWO™ Steak Gorgonzola Prime Rib Steak and Penne Pasta with Roasted Red Peppers and Sun-Dried Tomatoes tossed in a Creamy Alfredo Gorgonzola Sauce.

    13 mins. heating & then I shoved the entire 24 oz. (680g) in my maw.

  714. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:54

    By the way, I could have nuked it, but went all gourmet & actually sautéd it in a pan, because the pkg. indicated that was “recommended.”

  715. Miss Anthropy said,

    May 21, 2011 at 2:59

    “Farewell, Christians — don’t let the gates of paradise hit you on the ass on your way out.”

    http://thephoenix.com/boston/news/120935-bliss-of-rapture/#ixzz1Mwkz3MzF

  716. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:05

    Could somebody sum up the thread for me?

    Were there euphemisms?

    Hiya spear! Well we’ve had Jihadi Pissicles … discussions of the relative merits of whiskey brands…”D-KW’s mom’ (accompanied by clever verse from multiple peeples)…mutual support from Sadlies quitting smoking … an amusing (though stupid) Real Troll … and lots of Rapturing.

    You know, the usual stuff.

    (Summing up the thread….)

  717. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:13

    O man, that is an instant classic!!!

    Aw, shucks. Props go out to tigris for leading the way in properly dealing with the trool.

  718. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:13

    Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.

    I never knew he was so religious. Witnesses to his “rapturing” stated that all that remained was a rhinestone studded cowboy hat and a pair of novelty sunglasses.

    By the way, I could have nuked it, but went all gourmet & actually sautéd it in a pan, because the pkg. indicated that was “recommended.”

    Whoa, man, you’ve gone all Broadway on us!

    I simmered the bayjaysus out of a bunch of chicken gizzards, and have been eating gizzards and rice… note to self, buy gandules. I plan on foraging for a metric fuckton of stinging nettles over the next few days, so I’ll be eating nettles all next week. They are especially good creamed, but I think I’ll try making nettle gnocchi and nettle colcannon as well. Nettles to me are what coconuts are to this guy.

  719. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:14

    “The thought of a rolling Rapture appeals to me.”

    oh, they are appealing all right…girls are lucky that way…

    Larfed muchly, bbfk!

    Also, Solidarity.

  720. Looch said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:21

    Nuking the steak

  721. Looch said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:22

    Heating the beef.

  722. mr. mike said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:33

    According to Sam Smith’s “Progressive Review” website, Australia has seen NO RAPTURE as was predicted by Harold “Family Radio” Camping. By this point the Rapture should have vaporized Christians at Midway or Guam, possibly any of Camping’s shortwave listeners in Eastern Siberia, but no dice.

    Expect to see Harry in an old-folks home on Monday.

  723. Pupienus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:34

    The banh mi was very good. Shatteringly crisp crust on the baguette, grilled lemon grass chicken and a nice complement of veggies. At the little Viet French bakery I went to, Dien Bien Phu JOKING!, they had a hot case with little pasty looking things I had not had before. Um, say that word ‘pasty’ as a Commonwealthrr would, k? Golden crisp phyllo-like dough with a Viet style meatball – DAMN! I’m going back for more.

    Tonight, grilled mahi mahi tacos. Marinate fish in orange, lime, cilantro, ancho chili, jalapeño, whatever else I toss in there. Grill, serve in flour tortillas with shredded cabbage and chipotle lime crema and fresh mango/cuke salsa. Homemade frijoles refritos with queso fresco and home made tortilla chips. Composed salad of shredded carrot, shredded lettuce and diced tomato drizzled w/ great olive otl and lemon juice, salt and pepper. The tequila ischeap crap but the Margs are made with fresh limes and Cointreau. I would have made flan but I’m a lazy fuck and besides I HAD TO go for a ride this afternoon. I think there’s some ice cream and I know there’s berries.

  724. tigris said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:35

    God I love pigeon peas. The one place that used to carry them stopped, so I haven’t had them for ages. I was even hoping to germinate a couple last November for this summer’s garden but no luck. Hey, have you ever sauteed dandelion buds? If not, I think you might like them.

    And fun link, Miss A., thanks!

  725. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:36

    what coconuts are to this guy

    Excellent synopsis from the up-loader, too. I wondered how long Yo’ Semite Sam had been “on the Island.” (Helps w/ motivation.)

    “SADLY, NO!”

  726. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:46

    Speaking of CAPITALIZING white:

    Ann Coulter interviewed with John Stossel and said she will not use the “N-word,” saying Blacks have a special place in American civil rights history, that is not shared by women, Muslims, gays or illegal immigrants.” I agree with her, and for this reason it is especially repugnant to me when Blacks use the “N-word” claiming it is their own private “warm and fuzzy” privilege. Each time a White apologizes for using the “N-word,” while a Black is idolized for it, is just another stupid, unjustifiable Liberal foist on the good and decent people of this country, no matter the ethnicity.

    Can someone explain why memeorandum links to semi-literate tripe like the above? (Also liberal. Are you libs an entirely different race?

  727. Pupienus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:46

    Pigeon peesicles?

  728. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:52

    )

    Too many conflicting stories on when the non-events won’t happen.

    1800 local time,per the moneyed loon who started it, which some media mugwump interpreted to mean it would occur time zone by time zone. Then another weasel said it would be everywhere the instant 1800 occurred wherever it first occurred.

    Uh oh, most recent earthquake was close.

    Good-Bye, Cruel World.

  729. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:54

    What happened to yer sainthood, Looch?

    Did St. Trotsky, Pope in Avignon excommunicate you or something?

    Thanx to Pup (and the other Sadlies) for the excellent foor pr0n! I only cook sandwiches and nuke stuff, and every so often do something more complex. Like off-the-shelf, no-frills rice.

    It’s nice to read about food artistry from actual artists.

  730. Spearhafoc, who has been Raptured said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:56

  731. Santos said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:57

    That frozen yellow substance in a plastic bottle? It’s called a Trucker Bomb, not to be confused with a Road Twinkie.

  732. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 3:59

    chipotle lime crema sounds like a beautiful thing.

  733. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:06

    So what’s it like, Spear?

  734. Spearhafoc, who has been Raptured said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:10

    Not bad, but God (or Big Al, as He insists on being called) is a little overbearing. Personal boundaries, dude.

  735. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:13

    According to Sam Smith’s “Progressive Review” website, Australia has seen NO RAPTURE as was predicted by Harold “Family Radio” Camping.

    The Antipodes gave their fundieloons (Ham, Bananboy Comfort) to the U.S.

  736. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:15

    I like an organized Armageddon

    Here you go.

  737. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:16

    Spear,
    Who else is around?

  738. Spearhafoc, who has been Raptured said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:27

    It’s basically just me, Big Al (of course), Jesus (who just sort of stands in the corner, not talking to anyone), Eugène François Vidocq, Joi Lansing, Horatio Nelson’s right eye, and some guy named Larry (or maybe Gary, I can’t remember).

    Pretty dull, so far.

  739. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:32

    God I love pigeon peas. The one place that used to carry them stopped, so I haven’t had them for ages. I was even hoping to germinate a couple last November for this summer’s garden but no luck.

    You should try a Latin American or Caribbean market. Pigeon peas are a staple of Caribbean cuisine, Anglophone and Latino.

    Hey, have you ever sauteed dandelion buds? If not, I think you might like them.

    Never tried them, only the greens, but it sounds good- squash flowers are really a treat, as are elder-blossoms.

  740. Fenwick Hernia said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:35

    I’ve been Ruptured.

  741. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:38

    Hmmm… lotta conflicting reports about elder-blossom toxicity… maybe grandmother was trying to kill me.

  742. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:40

    What happened to yer sainthood, Looch?

    The St. moniker is applied when a troll appears, it makes it easier for someone who is totally against all troll-feeding to use a killfile.

  743. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:42

    When you go around getting all the post-Rapture stuff and moving into your spiffy new digs, please be kind to all the pets and critters and such that have been Left Behind.

  744. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:44

    Don’t worry, Fenwick, I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.

  745. Pupienus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:50

    Stuffed zuchini blossoms are a speiciality de maison.

  746. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 4:55

    B^4. Oh. I dint know that. I suppose there are also several schools of thought about how to deal Ignoring Them Utterly … Mocking Them Mercilessly … and so on. What do other Sadlies recommend?

  747. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:02

    You mean the location for the great final scene that tied all the story threads together? I thought that was a terrific production-design reproduction! (The scene was actually filmed in Fort Smith, as I recall…)

    Imma needa cite.
    .

  748. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:04

    Depends on the troll and the thread- I am usually enjoying the regulars’ comments to much to be arsed feeding some dumbass troll. Every once in a while, one comes around who needs a beard-tweaking, and every once in a while a Gary Ruppert post comes across that is amusing.

    Best Gary Ruppert line ever, “The fact is, fuck you!”

    Stuffed zuchini blossoms are a speiciality de maison.

    They are an awesome treat.

  749. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:05

    I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.

    Well, maybe in mass-market animations. But it a theologically insupportable proposition, at least in Christianity. (Not kidding, here.) One of the most intriguing essays on the subject is C.S. Lewis’s The Problem of Pain [in animals].

    ((I durst not venture any further; I try to keep my hiding-out-in-the-hills Xianity out of S,N.))

  750. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:05

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073440/locations
    .

  751. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:14

    ((I durst not venture any further; I try to keep my hiding-out-in-the-hills Xianity out of S,N.))

    I, for one, am proud to tell everyone about my membership in the Church of Ledernacken.

  752. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:15

    Jeff: No citation available.

    It’s an obscure S.N joke from months ago: During some conversation about films, the Sadlies spontaneously and collectively decided that all films were made in Arkansas, which is where VS lives.

  753. Another Kiwi said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:16

    I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.Well, parts of the dog

  754. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:21

    B^4: Of course, I also belong to the Church of Baseball. (Blessed be Saint Annie Savoy.) Also I’m an Orthodox Hedonist.

    I’m not going to make the cut for the Rapture and I know it. BTW, how far has it worked its way around the planet now?

  755. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:23

    t’s an obscure S.N joke from months ago: During some conversation about films, the Sadlies spontaneously and collectively decided that all films were made in Arkansas, which is where VS lives.

    Oh, Well, I do feel like a n00b interloper, then.
    .

  756. Johnny Pez said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:27

    I think the Rolling Rapture is supposed to start on the west side of the International Date Line at 1 am Eastern Standard Time, and proceed west. So, should hit New Zealand in a couple of hours. Smut can advise us if Kiwi X-ians start to vanish then.

  757. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:36

    Jeff: S’alright. I only stepped out of lurkerhood about six months ago, so I’m still pretty much a n00b Sadlie, too. (Notice my question to B^4 above?) Arcane references from Truly Veteran Sadlies go right over my head.

    (I’ve enjoyed your comments for some time, btw.)

  758. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:38

    (I’ve enjoyed your comments for some time, btw.)

    That had to be some other Jeffraham, unless you’re an Atriot.
    .

  759. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:42

    That had to be some other Jeffraham

    TinTin perhaps. (Damn, I wish I could find my Double-Secret Identity Roster. I haz a confoozed.)

  760. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:43

    Oh, Well, I do feel like a n00b interloper, then.

    N00b? maybe, interloper? Never!

  761. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 5:57

    Well, thanks to all y’all. Now I’m embarrassed, and my palms are sweaty.
    .

  762. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 6:18

    Feline afterlife.

  763. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 21, 2011 at 6:39

    Y’know, I’m half tempted to go raid a Goodwill drop box and strategically place a few sets of clothing here and there looking as if the wearer had been beamed up right out of them. I wonder if you put them in the right spot near a rapturist haunt whether they’d think it had happened and passed them by. Boy, talk about bitter.

  764. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 6:40

    Interloping with sweaty palms

  765. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 21, 2011 at 6:46

    @Spearhafoc on twitter….

    . Kim Jong-il WTF?

  766. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2011 at 7:02

    Smut can advise us if Kiwi X-ians start to vanish then.

    It’s supposed to happen in 20 minutes, but by then we’ll be out for dinner at the local curry house. Fortunately the chef is Hindu so there is no fear of culinary interruptions.

  767. Another Kiwi said,

    May 21, 2011 at 7:23

    Ruh Roh 6:01. It’s awful quiet for an apocalypse, not that I have anything to compare it to of course.
    One would notice volcanoes and such one would think.

  768. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 7:27

    Any shaking? Other than the palsy, I mean?

  769. Another Kiwi said,

    May 21, 2011 at 7:33

    If New Zild is rockin’
    Don’t come knockin’.

    Decidedly not rocking, not even the parsely. I don;t know why you’d be interested in that, crazy ‘Mericans

  770. Johnny Pez said,

    May 21, 2011 at 7:50

    Yeah, you say there’s no apocalypse, AK, but how do we know you’re not just covering up? We all know how devious you Kiwis are. That’s just what you WANT us to think, isn’t it? Well, I’m ON TO YOU!

  771. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:06

    People who make the effort to snark off the Internet.

    “Pointless?” Not by me.

    Most recent quake, a 4.8 in the Solomons an hr. ago. Bum-mer! Guess we’re stuck w/ those clowns.

    This Yank would rather stalk celery.

  772. Johnny Pez said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:24

    Stalking the celery.

  773. Fenwick said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:27

    Any guesses on how the End-O-the-World predicter explains the non-Rapture to the press (much less his flock)?

    Here are some possibilites that occured to me.

    (1) An earnest prayer of supplication moved the Lord, who relented in His Infinite Mercy.

    (2) Blames Bishop Usher for bad data.

    (3) Blames it on the heathen Mayans and infidel Muslims with their confusing, pagan, non-Christian calendars.

    (4) The Devil’s work.

  774. M. Bouffant said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:34

    He already screwed it up once, in the ’90s, & blamed that a math error due to “forgetting a book of the Bible” or something. (Using McArdle’s calculator?)

    That may wash again.

  775. Another Kiwi said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:53

    Mrs. Kiwi says that New Zild has been spared because of our awesomeness. Sorry but youse are still going to cop it. Hey, I don’t make the rules.

  776. paperbagmarlys said,

    May 21, 2011 at 8:57

    Fucking rapture, how does that work?

  777. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2011 at 9:44

    My only regret is that it’s too late now to write a faux-Truth comment about initial denial when the first results trickle in from New Zealand turning into the Great Non-Christian Freak-out of 2011.

  778. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 11:32

    Morning, everyone!

    What’s shakin’?

  779. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 12:25

    My only regret is that it’s too late now to write a faux-Truth comment about initial denial when the first results trickle in from New Zealand turning into the Great Non-Christian Freak-out of 2011.

    Do what every other nihilist has done.

    Claim a math error, state an alternate date a bit down the road, and now you can “bookmark it”.

  780. El Manquécito said,

    May 21, 2011 at 12:38

    Yeah PM big plus for DIY sous-vide. I’ve already got a couple of temp controllers but unless I’m cooking something really big the Yeti (it was a gift) is all I need. While I’d never pay for one of those they really are great coolers. Among the best things I’ve found to sous-vide: lamb pops, T-bones and eggs. (Eggs; 150F for 34 minutes, ice bath, crack and drop in simmering water or stock for 1.5 minutes. They hold their shape and are perfect.)

    Armagideon watch: nothing yet. My MIL is still expected at 6pm this afternoon.

  781. N__B said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:13

    Arkansas, which is where VS lives.

    I believe she was born there but now stalks appliances in the high sierra and tundra of Virginia.

  782. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:42

    I believe she was born there but now stalks appliances in the high sierra and tundra of Virginia.

    She drives two SUVs?????

  783. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:43

    150F for 34 minutes

    That’s a damned HARD boiled egg…

  784. Jon H said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:47

    Clearly he was going to use the urine to form a traditional Muslim ritual pee-knife or ‘kukri’.

  785. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:54

    I’m up on the 4th floor of the hotel and I haven’t seen anyone come floating up past my window yet.

    And I’m on South Carolina – so you’d think there would be a few here.

  786. kg said,

    May 21, 2011 at 14:55

    I don’t think it would come out hard boiled, though

  787. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 15:31

    Actor – time is not the factor, max temp is. That’s _minimum_ 34 minutes. That’s the beauty of sous vide – the item is cooked perfectly (except for browning in the case of meats) and it holds for hours. Using beef as an example, one cooks it to 135F and once there, it can be used immediately or leave it in the bath for several hours.

  788. Looch said,

    May 21, 2011 at 15:40

    Actor – time is not the factor, max temp is

    This is not a pre-rapture cooking method, I would argue.

    Nuking, that’s the ticket.

  789. vacuumslayer said,

    May 21, 2011 at 15:56

    Just a clarification (and I can see why it might be confusing): I was born in South Carolina and raised in SC and Arkansas (mostly AR). I represent the best of America’s Taint!

    I currently reside Communist (You know…where all the Black people are) Virginia.

  790. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:02

    America’s Taint is the panhandle of Florida. Everyone knows this!
    .

  791. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:03

    I just now learned that the crazy woman from Fresh Air th other day, the Roswell/Area 51/Mengele/Stalin woman, was previously best known as the “Muslim terrorist dry run plane freak out” woman. Go figure.

  792. Jennifer said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:05

    Here’s the thing:

    The Rupture happened over 2 decades ago but the fundies are still waiting because neither they nor anyone they know was called home.

    As it happens, the only ones judged pure enough for Rupture were members of several primitive isolated tribes in the Amazon, New Guinea, Siberia, and other places that the first world is busy destroying. “…but…but…but…THAT’S not FAIR!!!,” you hear the fundies crying out. “THOSE people are HEATHENS – they’ve never even HEARD of Jesus!!” Yeah, maybe so. Yet somehow they knew it was wrong to come barging into YOUR home and trash it…something you couldn’t be bothered to stop doing even after Jesus told you it was wrong, because you were just sure that you were better than them so that made it ok for you to steal their stuff and destroy their homes.

    That photoshopped picture of Obama as a witch doctor that you morons loved waving around at your Hoverround conventions? A bunch of guys who looked JUST LIKE THAT were the ones who got raptured.

    Enjoy your troubles with Tribbles, idjits. According to your interpretaton of your scripture, you only have to endure another thousand years of Gingriches, Santorums, Palins, Bachmanns and their ilk before you’ll be clean enough to meet Jesus, though I wouldn’t count on it even then.

  793. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:10

    Enjoy your troubles with Tribbles, idjits.

    I thought Trump had dropped out? *boggle*
    .

  794. El Manquécito said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:12

    150F for 34 minutes

    That’s a damned HARD boiled egg…

    Really it’s not even coddled yet but the proteins in the white have coagulated enough so that it holds it’s shape when you flash poach it. It’s a great trick and kg’s link above has more detail.

  795. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2011 at 16:46

    As it happens, the only ones judged pure enough for Rupture were members of several primitive isolated tribes in the Amazon, New Guinea, Siberia, and other places that the first world is busy destroying.

    I believe that Mildred Jones of Davenport Iowa also made the cut. She is dearly missed by her family.

  796. Butch Pansy said,

    May 21, 2011 at 17:04

    “This Yank would rather stalk celery.”

    Yanking the stalk.

    Too obvious? Improper construction?

  797. Butch Pansy said,

    May 21, 2011 at 17:05

    Fucking humor, how does that work?

  798. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 21, 2011 at 17:36

    I don’t think it qualifies as euphemism, it is literally accurate.

  799. CRA said,

    May 21, 2011 at 17:57

    Jennifer is roughly correct

  800. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 21, 2011 at 21:18

    How long do you cook a Yeti?

  801. Another Kiwi said,

    May 21, 2011 at 21:57

    As long as it fucking well wants to be cooked.

  802. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2011 at 22:10

    Is it done yeti?

  803. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2011 at 22:59

    Coddling the eggs.

  804. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2011 at 8:02

    Cooking the yeti

  805. actor212 said,

    May 22, 2011 at 11:34

    I would argue that the male ability and affinity for couch-lying-masturbation is one of the better pieces of evidence for intelligent design.

    You’re right I focused on the time and missed the temperature.

    Just out of curiousity, for those of us who need to hire a woman to do all the housework, how does one keep the temperature at 150 degrees? I have a gas stove. I’ve never been able to simmer anything for even half that long.

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