May
12

Who Knew You Could Grind and Snort Mucinex?




Posted at 14:50 by Tintin


Above: Amy Arnold Alkon

Shorter Arnold Alkon, Bad Advice Goddess:
Protecting Us Out Of The Drugs We Need.

  • I am completely unable to write unless I am as high as a kite on cough medicine.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

836 Comments »

  1. A Homosexual said,

    May 12, 2011 at 14:53

    Hello. We are gay, and completely not for the straights. We like sharing men only, men with men, how it should be. Replace are enture system with a gay only one, keeps a few breeders to make us offspring until we can grow them in tanks.

  2. phleabo said,

    May 12, 2011 at 14:54

    So, are you really Carlos Salami?

  3. animus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 14:56

    Oh, you have got to be—
    I forgot. Always trust the shorter.

  4. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 14:58

    Basically, I sometimes feel like I have 16 squirrels in my brain running off in 16 different directions and Ritalin makes most of them sit down at their little desks and shut the hell up so I can think about what I need to think about.

    Now I feel bad about the nym I chose this morning.

  5. animus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:04

    Interestingly, the comments over there are split between the people who want to be able to buy pseudoephedrine by the case and those who want to ban all conventional medicine.

  6. HMDK said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:05

    Amy Alkon… Borderline?
    Why, that is sooooo impossible!

  7. Scott said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:06

    So Amy’s shitmoat is filled with the half-eaten dead bodies of hobos she’s kidnapped from down by the Interstate?

  8. Ted the Slacker said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:09

    Sadly No should investigate if Amy Alkon is actually Charlie Sheen.

  9. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:09

    Sudafed can raise your blood pressure. And considering how ANGRY wingnuts are all the time, I would, indeed, urge moderation.

  10. g said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:13

    So we have Ritalin to thank for Amy’s oeuvre?

    If we ran out of Ritalin would she stop writing?

    This is yet another version of the right wings “why do I have to go through the metal detector, I’m not a terrorist!” sense of entitlement.

    I don’t like having to visit the friendly pharmacist to buy Claritin D, either. But then on the other hand, I’m glad LA Sheriffs department finally rousted the meth house down the road from my house.

  11. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:23

    “May 12, 2011 at 14:54

    So, are you really Carlos Salami?”

    I saw one of his movies. He played a pizza delivery guy.

  12. crid said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:26

    Basically, I sometimes feel like I have 16 squirrels in my brain running off in 16 different directions and Ritalin makes most of them sit down at their little desks and shut the hell up so I can think about what I need to think about.

    All. One. Squirrel.

  13. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:28

    The fact is, I like dressing up as a squirrel.

  14. Chris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:34

    Hello. We are gay, and completely not for the straights. We like sharing men only, men with men, how it should be. Replace are enture system with a gay only one, keeps a few breeders to make us offspring until we can grow them in tanks.

    We are the gays. We will add your technological and biological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.

  15. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:35

    Gary’s a furry? Unsurprising, but I pegged him as preferring a donkey fursuit.

    Pegging the donkey fursuit, also too.

  16. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:41

    I pegged him as preferring a donkey fursuit.

    I always suspected he’d enjoy taking it in the ass.

  17. An_onymous said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:44

    hey! not fair! why did you hide “her” adam’s apple ?

  18. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:51

    Gee, if only the government could help out with some kind of prescription drug coverage.

  19. The 16 squirrels in Arnold Alkon's brain said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:51

    You load sixteen squirrels and what do you get
    Another day older and deeper in shit
    Saint Ronnie don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
    I owe my soul to the ritalin store

  20. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:52

    This woman has serious problems. I, for one, will not engage in piling on to this poor, wretched person. Also, her writing reminds me of my late, delusional sister.

  21. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:52

    I pegged him as preferring a donkey fursuit.

    I do not know what you are speaking of.

  22. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:56

    From Newt’s twittertwaddle announcement:

    “We Americans are going to have to talk together, work together and find solutions together and INSIST on imposing those solutions on those forces that don’t want to change.” SIEG HEIL!!!

  23. Ellipsis P. Quoteminer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:57

    “Basically [...] I have 16 squirrels in my brain”.

    That does explain a lot of her behavior.

  24. The 16 Voles In Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 15:58

    So close and yet so far.

  25. Furry Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:01

    Squirrels and Kitteh kittehs

  26. The Meth House Down The Road said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:04

    Why don’t you guys lay off that nice sweet lady? She is one of our best customers gives GREAT advice!

  27. zadig said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:09

    To be fair to whichever squirrel tapped that out, the gov’t Battle of Sudafed is one of the stupider skirmishes in the War on Fun. It’s not even that fun to have your sinuses dry out, it’s just more fun than not breathing.

  28. Furry Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:12

    To be fair to whichever squirrel tapped that out, the gov’t Battle of Sudafed is one of the stupider skirmishes in the War on Fun. It’s not even that fun to have your sinuses dry out, it’s just more fun than not breathing.

    It’s fun to eat lots of pseudophedrine. And yes, the government’s latest crusade, which, here in Washington, involves entering your name and personal information into a database, sucks much balls.

    I’m perfectly confident, however, that said database will not be used for any purpose other than making sure I’m not buying enough phed to actually make some meth. There’s no way the govt would abuse this data collection.

  29. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:13

    To be fair to whichever squirrel tapped that out, the gov’t Battle of Sudafed is one of the stupider skirmishes in the War on Fun. It’s not even that fun to have your sinuses dry out, it’s just more fun than not breathing.

    True, but there is a reason that stuff was prescription-only back in the 1970s. There really should be a great big warning label about what it will do to your blood pressure.

    But beyond that, I’m confused. I still see both generic and brand-name Sudafed in the local pharmacy. I don’t buy any, because I prefer sneezing to a stroke. But what is the big deal about getting it from behind a counter?

  30. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:14

    “We Americans are going to have to talk together, work together and find solutions together and INSIST on imposing those solutions on those forces that don’t want to change.”

    Offer not valid for gays, women, people needing health care, poor people, people who aren’t rabidly anti-tax, people who aren’t rabidly pro-”defense” spending, people who think corporations should pay anything in taxes, people who think privatizing gains and socializing losses is the worst sort of socialism possible, etc.

  31. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:15

    Seriously, isn’t that what those motherfuckers always call “ramming stuff down our throats?”

  32. Chris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:20

    From Newt’s twittertwaddle announcement:

    “We Americans are going to have to talk together, work together and find solutions together and INSIST on imposing those solutions on those forces that don’t want to change.” SIEG HEIL!!!

    Anybody catch the adoring Matt Bai article comparing Gingrich to Charles De Gaulle, because they were both in the political wilderness for a little while but then De Gaulle came back to save his republic just like Gingrich is about too?

    A Balloon Juicer gave it a a long debunking, concluding with “Except for the genuine patriotism, bravery in the face of danger, personal honesty, family loyalty, and worldwide impact of de Gaulle’s career, he and Newt are really just about the same.”

  33. Joe Max said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:21

    The Sudafed you see on the shelves is “Sudafed PE”, which contains no Pseudoephedrine (which is weird, since the name “Sudafed” kind of implies that it DOES.) It’s kind of like the New Coke of nasal decongestants.

    But it’s OK, Amy Arnold! You can still buy a couple cases of Vicks Inhalers and boil down the fiber plugs inside to get PURE METH.

    (Not that I would know anything about THAT, mind you.)

    And you can always put the squirrels to work digging your shit moats!

    (I don’t post here as much as I used to, but I didn’t want to be left out of DA MOB.)

  34. Lunch Lady said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:28

    Sorry you were picked last, kid. Have an extra tater tot.

  35. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:29

    yay. Lunch Lady is back!

  36. LittlePig said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:29

    Reminds of the Freak Brothers issue when Fat Freddy pretended to be ADD to get Ritalin.

    Punchline: “We don’t use that here, we use elephant tranquilizers”

    If only, if only….

  37. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:30

    She never has Brain Hot Dish on the menu though.

  38. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:33

    True, but there is a reason that stuff was prescription-only back in the 1970s. There really should be a great big warning label about what it will do to your blood pressure.

    But beyond that, I’m confused. I still see both generic and brand-name Sudafed in the local pharmacy. I don’t buy any, because I prefer sneezing to a stroke. But what is the big deal about getting it from behind a counter?

    This same warning doesn’t occur on any other drug, and some of the illicit ones raise blood pressure even further than this crap. It’s not about getting it from behind a counter, it’s that it’s still “over the counter”, except that they copy your driver’s license number, name, address, etc and record it in a book. They conveniently don’t know where the information goes from there.

  39. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:37

    it’s that it’s still “over the counter”, except that they copy your driver’s license number, name, address, etc and record it in a book.

    Ah, I did not know that (as I said, the stuff would likely kill me). That is bad.

  40. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:53

    Ah, I did not know that (as I said, the stuff would likely kill me). That is bad.

    What prompted the whole thing was the actual fact that it’s an important component of meth. So meth manufacturers were actually walking into drugstores and buying cases of this shit at a time.

    So now the drug dealers walk into the pharmacies and NO SHIT, hop over the pharmacy counter and just grab what they want. I live near a Walgreens that has been robbed this way at least 3 times in the last 18 months. One of these times, the little scumbag cunt actually punched a little tiny female pharmacist for not getting out of his way quickly enough.

    So there’s some method to the madness, but as with every other attempt by the government to fix a drug problem, they’ve managed to do nothing more than build a constitutionally questionable database of people who have colds and endanger the lives of employees at pharmacies/drugstores.

    See, those supergeniuses who write drug policy still think they can legislate away the drug problem. This time it will work!

    That’s my take on the situation, anyway.

  41. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:54

    I first thought that it was a good thing for Newt to run, because his utter defeat might be the only thing to humiliate him enough to get him off the national stage. But, thanks to FoxNews, that only seems to happen to Democrats (see Bradley, Bill).

    Of course an egomaniac like Newt will have his excuses lined up. The most likely: “America was not ready to embrace the greatness that I offered.”

  42. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:56

    LittlePig, I bet you know the answer to this: “What’s it mean, Granpa?”

  43. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 16:59

    “America was not ready to embrace the greatness that I offered.”

    America was in a hospital with cancer at the time.

  44. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:00

    Silly me, hospitals can’t get cancer! You know what I meant. Jerks.

  45. DAS said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:00

    She’s upset because she can only get 1 month of ritalin at a time because of the gummint?

    Well, I can only get 1 month of my nasal steroid for my allergies at a time unless my pharmacist begs and pleads with the insurance company … and it has nothing to do with nasal steroids being made from the same stuff as is used to make illicit drugs. It’s that my insurance company only wants to pay for one month’s worth of drugs at a time.

    Conservatives are worried about rationing of health care? Well, perhaps instead of blaming the war on drugs or some such (and if you like drugs so much Ms. Alkon … why not just support legalizing them all? I suspect conservatives who get upset at Mucinex-D being behind the counter while supporting high penalties for crack cocaine use may have other motivations for which drugs they think should be illegal and which ones not? hmmm …) — Ms. Alkon should realize that some of her lack of access to health care is because, like it or not, health care is already rationed in this country.

    So why not just make it transparent, controlled by we the people and not for profit companies and have real health care reform?

  46. DAS said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:06

    BTW, did you catch the justification of steroid use in baseball?

    Martin Seligman talks about how ridiculous it is that psychology and psychiatry are internal medicine is largely targeted to “curing” people who are sick, and not helping functioning, productive people overpaid lugheads who can hit a ball with a bat become even higher functioning and more productive get backne and ‘roid rage — or as Seligman puts it in his terrific new book, to Flourish.

    I’m all for people who need help getting the help they need, but it seems that Amy “Drugs are Fun” Alkon is treading on some very interesting territory here. Since when did the political right (outside of P.J. O’Rourke) become pro-drugs?

  47. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:07

    It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

  48. Donald Douglas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:08

    Hey, it’s an Amy Alkon celebration — and a Malaclypse celebration too! Thanks for that confirmation, bro!! ‘Malaclypse, Lawyers, Guns and Money Troll, Confirms Identity of Tintin at Sadly No! — Carl Salonen, the ‘Young & Hung’ Trademark Holder, Wow!’.

  49. Lunch Lady said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:13

    No tater tots for you, kid.

  50. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:14

    Keep fucking that chicken, Donnie.

  51. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:15

    Silly me, hospitals can’t get cancer! You know what I meant. Jerks.

    Pre-emptive self-pwning. I like it.

  52. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:15

    Sort of on topic because it is making fun of douche-hats. This is funny.
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/12/975337/-Jon-Stewart-RIPS-and-RAPS-into-Fox-News-over-the-Common-freakout

  53. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:15

    controlled by we the people and not for profit companies and have real health care reform?

    HA!

    You’re funny.

  54. Donald Douglas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:16

    ‘Keep fucking that chicken, Donnie’.

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!

    You stepped in it, dickwad. I’m calling Sasquatch to come kick the shit out of you, you fucking liar. Dirtbag shitpile too.

    Loser. I spit on your rotting soul. Pffftt.

  55. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:16

    Yeah, doubling down on stupidity is going so well for him.

  56. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:17

    Dirtbag shitpile too.

    That’s shitMOAT.

  57. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:18

    Yeah, doubling down on stupidity is going so well for him.

    ffft. stupid intermediate posters. I was talking to Mal, and referencing teh Donalde.

  58. Berberis said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:18

    I realize every body responds differently to different medicines, but I gotta wonder whether any of these folks whining about sudafed being behind the counter have even bothered to try any of the other decongestants.

    As far as my personal physiology goes, sudafed sucks. I suppose it works; if I’ve got a stuffy nose and take sudafed, I’m no longer congested. Instead, I’ve got rivers of snot freely flowing and I have to wipe my nose every 15 seconds if I don’t want to be sitting in a puddle. That much kleenex-nose contact leads to a horrendously painful chapped nose within a couple hours. I prefer the decongestants that actually dry up the snot, not just get it flowing

  59. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:19

    Sort of on topic because it is making fun of douche-hats. This is funny.
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/12/975337/-Jon-Stewart-RIPS-and-RAPS-into-Fox-News-over-the-Common-freakout

    Oh YEAH–the “thug” in the White House.

    “Where are all da white women at?”

    Don’t forget, all you dickless old white people. Black = thug. We’re not SAYING Obama is a n***er thug, but you know, we’re just saying.

  60. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:19

    Thanks for that confirmation, bro!!

    Heh.

    I also confirm that SASQUATCH ISREAL!!

  61. Chris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:20

    Loser. I spit on your rotting soul. Pffftt.

    Fake troll.

    Any TRUE conservative knows liberals have no soul of any kind. Much like zombies.

  62. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:21

    I realize every body responds differently to different medicines, but I gotta wonder whether any of these folks whining about sudafed being behind the counter have even bothered to try any of the other decongestants.

    I didn’t use pseudophedrine for a decongestant. I abused it like we all do with alcohol and weed and cocaine and stuff.

    The other ones just don’t get the goddamn job done. Also, when I actually DID have a cold, the best thing for it was a blast of speed so that I could get something done before passing out.

  63. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:23

    Did you know that Captain Kangaroo was never in the military? this outrages me for some reason.

  64. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:24

    Also, Judge Reinhold, not only is he not a judge but he never even went to law school. Wake up people!

  65. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:26

    Queen Latifa? Not royalty at all. You can’t trust anyone nowadays.

  66. mingo said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:29


    Offer not valid for gays, women, people needing health care, poor people, people who aren’t rabidly anti-tax, people who aren’t rabidly pro-”defense” spending, people who think corporations should pay anything in taxes, people who think privatizing gains and socializing losses is the worst sort of socialism possible, etc.

    you silly thing!!! those people are not Real ‘Murkans!

  67. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:29

    (Psssst.
    Pssst.
    Amy….

    one word…..

    Sterno…..

    tell them it’s for the fondue…..

    shhhh …..you’re welcome)

  68. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:30

    “Hey, it’s an Amy Alkon celebration — and a Malaclypse celebration too! Thanks for that confirmation, bro!! ”

    Donald and Malaclypse sitting in a tree . . .

  69. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:31

    I left a good joke in the preceding thread. I mention it because the Jonah-themed alternative history of WW2 air warfare has untapped potential. Like Karl Rove after a police-themed S&M party, I am eager to pass the baton.

  70. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:33

    Argumentum ad pantloadum

  71. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:37

    Queen Latifa?

    She can be my queen whenever she likes. I find her royally gorgeous.

  72. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:38

    Loser. I spit on your rotting soul. Pffftt.

    Someone has forgotten the basic tenets of Christianity. I pray you find inner peace, Donalde.

  73. Furry Ruppert (actually tsam who is not Karls Solenenhagen, but don't tell anyone) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:39

    Did you know that Captain Kangaroo

    I suppose I could drum up some outrage if I had seen him on the deck of an aircraft carrier in a flightsuit, trying to remember how he got there and why he was there.

  74. DAS said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:40

    Like Karl Rove after a police-themed S&M party, I am eager to pass the baton. – CRA

    Ewwwwwwwww !!!!!

  75. Slim Charles said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:40

    BTW, did you catch the justification of steroid use in baseball?

    I never would have caught it if you hadn’t made it up. Alkon’s mischaracterization of Seligman’s work filtered through your imagination and then mischaracterized again by a third party would be pretty funny, though. Maybe someone will take a crack at it.

  76. Donald Douglas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:40

    Silly Sadlynaughts! You think that your Poop and your Penis are sooooooo clever. Well, I will have you know that my Poop is humorous and my Penis is downright hilarious.

    Tintin ISREAL!

  77. Chris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:42

    Tintin ISREAL!

    Thought the whole point was that he wasn’t?

    Donny, you’re out of your element.

  78. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:42

    Pwning preemptively.

  79. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:42

    Don’t forget: Lady Gaga isn’t really a lady.

  80. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:42

    I’m still hoping that the target of all this spittle foam (Not Tintin) is going to rise to the occasion from behind his employer’s firewall and give the Donalde a piece of his mind.

    And Amy? When life gives you squirrels make Brunswick stew.

  81. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:45

    Lord Buckley? Nope.

  82. jim (who is actually SPARTACUS) said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:45

    Mmm, drugs.

    After the “Carrying Surplus Salami* With Me Everywhere I Go” revelation, snorting Mucinex would actually be sort of tame.

    Also, in this fast-changing world, it’s good to know that even after his numerous instances of royally fucking the pooch in public to the mirth & merriment of one & all, Donalde still has less skepicism than a Holy Roller at a revival meeting. “It MUST be true! It’s right there on the Internets! Bwahahahaha! GOTCHA LIBS!”

    Doesn’t he realize that my slightly-used Brooklyn Bridge offer is still (miraculously) available?

    PS: Cash up front only, please.
    _______________________________

    *Yes, it IS what you’re thinking.

  83. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:47

    Count Jim “Knees” Moriarty? Not a Count.

  84. Pryme said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:48

    I’m so sorry people are making and selling meth. It’s a really destructive drug. But, hey, U.S. government, I just want to write my column and my book and blog and maybe do some TV and radio. Stay the hell out of my rights and freedoms and my pill bottles.

    What about abortion? Isn’t that an invasion too? I mean with the judges and the lawmakers up in your girly-no-noes telling you what to do with them and…what? Huh? Don’t want to make that comparison right now? OK.

  85. SPARTACUS said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:49

    I am not jim.

    PROOF: I know how to spell “skepticism.”

  86. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:50

    Now that I know zrm isn’t really a zombie, I feel like the magic is gone.

    What’s next? tigris isn’t really some sort of cat-goddess?

    low-sodium hunchback walks completely erect?

    *sigh*

  87. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:51

    Martin Seligman talks about how ridiculous it is that psychology and psychiatry are largely targeted to “curing” people who are sick, and not helping functioning, productive people become even higher functioning and more productive — or as Seligman puts it in his terrific new book, to Flourish.

    So she’s fine but wants to take an “addictive, abusable” drug because she likes the way it makes her feel… she also either ignored or failed to notice “higher demand” listed in news articles as one of the causes of the shortage.

    Also I love how she turns someone’s suggestion to see if she can get it in France while she’s there into some sort of “France is perfect” statement. “You can get codeine OTC in the UK” “how dare you imply British health care is perfect and soooo much better than the US system I just wrote a whole column bitching about!” Really, if she’s on methylphenidate now, it’s not helping her concentrate.

  88. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:53

    Well, cats DO like me but I guess calling it worship would be going too far…

  89. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:53

    No, alas.

  90. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:54

    Awesome! Apparently the suit doesn’t give you super powers and good luck trying blend into the crowd when the cops arrive.

    http://www.oliverwillis.com/2011/05/11/video-batman-gets-beat-up-on-the-streets-of-las-vegas/

  91. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:54

    After the “Carrying Surplus Salami* With Me Everywhere I Go” revelation, snorting Mucinex would actually be sort of tame.

    The salami? Mucinex nose tamper.

  92. Johnny Pez said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:55

    Also, Prince is not actually a prince.

  93. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:55

    vacuumslayer, don’t even tell me that you never killed a vacuume.

  94. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:56

    Oh, Amy Alkon. How did I ever quit you.

    She has got to be one of the LEAST self aware people with a public venue.

    all my teeth and clear skin and no history dealing anything but my writing

    I love how she assumes everyone who manufactures Meth have no teeth and bad skin.

    Bonus Alkonization: How would they know you don’t have a history of dealing anything but (bad) writing if they didn’t check your idea?

    THIS CALLS FOR A SHIT MOAT!!!1!

  95. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:57

    Like Karl Rove after a police-themed S&M party, I am eager to pass the baton.

    DEAR GOD. You, sir, are a horrible horrible person.

  96. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:57

    Johnny Pez, if you tilt your head back, does candy come out of your neck?

  97. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 17:58

    I’m still hoping that the target of all this spittle foam (Not Tintin) is going to rise to the occasion from behind his employer’s firewall and give the Donalde a piece of his mind.

    Unfortunately, given the nature of Teh DD’s affliction, anything said by the Target will only go to further “confirm” this hilarious footbullet.

    I think letting our Community College Don continue tilting at this imaginary windmill makes for the better approach. also, more lulz.

  98. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:01

    “vacuumslayer, don’t even tell me that you never killed a vacuume.”

    No, that’s totally true.

  99. Johnny Pez said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:01

    Johnny Pez, if you tilt your head back, does candy come out of your neck?

    Depends on your definition of “candy”.

  100. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:01

    Also, Prince is not actually a prince.

    maybe not to YOU.

  101. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:03

    vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:01

    “vacuumslayer, don’t even tell me that you never killed a vacuume.”

    No, that’s totally true.

    OK, then I AM a zombie.

  102. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:04

    Pwning preemptively.

    …except it’s unsatisfying.

  103. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:04

    Hot.

  104. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:06

    Every time I pwn myself, I want more chinese food half an hour later.

  105. Bob said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:08

    Is there anything a surgeon can do about those huge hands?

  106. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:08

    Let me reassure you, a more authentic guitarist manqué you are unlikely to find.

  107. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:08

    I think letting our Community College Don continue tilting at this imaginary windmill makes for the better approach. also, more lulz.

    I feel it necessary to confirm at this time that I, and not Malcolm X, am Obama’s real father. I, not Bill Ayers, wrote Obama’s autobiography. Finally, I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Now that Donalde’s scrutiny is upon me, I know I can no longer hide the truth.

  108. Looch said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:09

    I think letting our Community College Don continue tilting at this imaginary windmill makes for the better approach. also, more lulz.

    Yeah, it’s kinda amusing. Confirmation bias, much?

    I am always a fan of the slow reveal.

    Mostly.

  109. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:12

    I like to kill hobos then make Hobo Soup.

  110. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:13

    Is there anything a surgeon can do about those huge hands?

    Detesticulation?

  111. DAS said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:13

    I never would have caught it if you hadn’t made it up. Alkon’s mischaracterization of Seligman’s work filtered through your imagination and then mischaracterized again by a third party would be pretty funny, though. Maybe someone will take a crack at it. – Slim Charles

    I must confess that I am not familiar with Seligman’s work to know whether Alkon mischaracterized it. But Sadly, No! is a place to make the sort of leap I did in terms of my “mis”characterization of Alkon’s writing. And, anyway, I really don’t think I made that much of a leap … did I?

    I am a-ok with taking medication not only to cure or manage major disease but also to feel better (of course — I take plenty of antihistamines to be functional during allergy season, I smoke about pipe of tobacco a week, drink about a glass of wine/beer a day, have some or other relaxing tisane every night, and don’t even ask about my caffeine and theobromine addictions … so I am perfectly down with taking drugs to feel better than I otherwise would, even if I am a functional person … functionality of DAS debated by his wife, daughter, brother, etc.). But the way Alkon states it, how does what she claims ritalin does differ from what performance enhancing drugs do in sports?

  112. Johnny Pez said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:16

    I like to kill time then make a bacon, lettuce & time sandwich.

  113. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:19

    “Every time I think about you, I pwn myself”

  114. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:19

    I agree that it’s unnatural to sit in front of a computer all day, and that drugs help. But I’d prefer a society where people (including children) best-suited to varied lives can more easily lead them. I have little idea what such a society would look like.

    Every day I kick myself for not getting more done, but then I remember that my situation is absurd, excepting a very fine marriage.

    I have not seen or taken meth in over 18 years, but I recall feeling like I could finally live up to my own expectations, and societal ones as I understood them. Work all day, lightning-fast promotion, practice guitar all night and/or play a gig, socialize, crash.

    The only connection I will make to the ADD/ritalin topic is that my meth intake was always well below that of my Coachella Valley peers, and had little to do with “partying.” But in the not-so-long run, I was still screwed six ways to Sunday.

  115. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:20

    I heard you can only get hand-smallening done in Thailand.

  116. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:22

    drink about a glass of wine/beer a day

    hey, me too!

    ..um, our definitions of “glass” could differ.

  117. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:23

    Blow makes me a better driver, smack and weed make me a better musician, and speed helps me get my house really clean. These arguments have not affected national drug policy.

  118. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:23

    Man Hands 2: The Smallening

  119. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:23

    I call fake Spartacus. Insufficient strappy sandalry.

  120. Matt T. said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:23

    But the way Alkon states it, how does what she claims ritalin does differ from what performance enhancing drugs do in sports?

    Because writing an advice column really isn’t all that difficult, mentally or physically. If you have to take the equivalence of a “performing enhancing drug” to pound out 900 words about how you’re smarter than the next jagoff not in spite of you’re own plethora of horrifically dunderheaded mistakes in the steering of your life’s metaphorical ship but because of said existential gafs, you’re doing something horribly wrong.

  121. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:25

    “Donald Douglas said”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Don’t stop, please don’t stop DD, the interducts needs a new meme just now and you are it.

  122. Shirley MacClaine said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:27

    I was Carl Salonen in another life.

  123. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:29

    “I heard you can only get hand-smallening done in Thailand.”

    I heard Bangkok makes your right hand bigger and may also cause blindness.

  124. Shirley MacClain said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:30

    Has anyone checked in at Tintin’s blog lately? Aaah, never mind, I’ll do it myself. I mean, there’s probably a lot evidence that a certain failed NY thespian is in fact Tintin at his blog because so many Sadlies keep calling him that and who knows Tintin better than anyone?

  125. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:31

    Awfuk.

  126. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:31

    One hand makes you bigger
    And one hand makes you small
    And the one that momma jerks with
    Doesn’t do anything at all
    Go ask Amy
    When you’re jerking small

  127. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:33

    Captain Beefheart (RIP) wrote the best-ever song about small hands. Pardon me if I quote it at length:

    Hoy hoy
    When Big Joan comes out
    Her arms are too small
    Her head like a ball
    She tied off her horse
    and galloped off into the moonbeams
    She pulled up her blouse
    and compared her navel to the moon
    I dig my life for a while
    When Big Joan sets up
    Her hands are too small
    She’s too fat to go out in the daylight
    So she rolls around all night
    I’m just sorta thread
    With a drooped body
    I’ll set up with ya Big Joan
    I’m too fat to go out in the daylight
    I’ll stay up all night
    I won’t droop if you
    Won’t talk about your
    Hands being too small
    You know something’s happening
    Or you wouldn’t of come out like ya did
    She ain’t built for going naked
    So she can’t wear any new clothes
    Or go to the beach
    They laugh at her body
    Cause her hands are too small

  128. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:33

    Typically, his (The Target’s) current post is about pole dancing olympics. If that doesn’t sound like Tintin I don’t know what does.

  129. Tata said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:33

    The only thing that ever worked on my allergies was Seldane before the FDA took it off the market. So it killed a bunch of people with really inconvenient heart attacks, so what? Whiners! Why should MY nose run?

  130. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:37

    “I heard Bangkok makes your right hand bigger and may also cause blindness.”

    I LOLed

  131. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:40

    El M – yeah, needs more comments like the one someone who shall go unnamed just left. I dunno if salting the mine at this point is gonna make any difference but I’m hoping for additional LULZ to result.

  132. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:41

    When I’m typin’ I strut my stuff, man I’m so strung out
    I’m high as a kite I just might stop to chew you out

    Let me go on like I blister in the sun,
    Let me go on big hands I know you’re the one

    Body and beats I stain my sheets I don’t even know why
    My salami it’s here in my hand, keepin’ it dry

    Let me go on like a shitmoat in the sun,
    Let me go on big hands I know you’re the one…

  133. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:42

    When Big Joan comes out

    Joan Holloway?

  134. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:43

    So it killed a bunch of people with really inconvenient heart attacks,

    to be fair, it cured their sinus problems.

  135. Bob said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:43

    The real problems will start when the government bans female hormones.

  136. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:43

    BTW, Donalde, it surprises me that you snort at Carl Salonen’s favorite movies (ones I was in). We wouldn’t think poorly of you for saying your favorite books were the ones you published.

    Excuse me? Oh, never mind.

  137. Arnold's Alkon's Cage said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:43

    Why do all you tiny turds at Sadly, No! keep rattling me? I’m gonna get some more of my sycophants to stalk you tiny turds!

    Poor poor pitiful me.

  138. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:45

    Rattling the cage.

  139. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:45

    I mean, there’s probably a lot evidence that a certain failed NY thespian is in fact Tintin at his blog

    The lack of evidence is confirmation! Hiding something!! pfft!

  140. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:47

    …stalk you tiny turds!

    hey, we’re just hanging out here in this moat!

  141. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:47

    Grinding the Mucinex. Too.

  142. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:49

    Rattling the cage.

    veiled blindfolded BDSM reference.

  143. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:50

    Arnold’s Alkon’s Cage

    the extra punctuation is decorative, right?

  144. Bigby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:51

    Ever notice how fucking hard wingnuts try to ‘out’ anonymous lefty bloggers so they can send their bully boy asshole flying monkeys around to try to silence them through intimidation and violence? And how much these same “tough guys” have to censor their own blogs lest an opinion to the left of von Ribbentrop gets through? Meanwhile, no one here has ever bothered to censor anyone nor out the pet wingnuts like Gary and Urban Meyer?

  145. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:55

    Joan Holloway?

    mmmmmmmm…

  146. Tata said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:56

    to be fair, it cured their sinus problems.

    All their other problems too. My Seldane, plz!

  147. Arnold Alkon said,

    May 12, 2011 at 18:59

    Yes, it’s true. I like to name names for my friends in law enforcement. For example, from my latest blog entry:

    “I tried cocaine once in my life (in 1995 with Roy Walford at the Chelsea hotel)”

    This also lets you know that I am a hipster, since I understand that the Chelsea hotel is a “hipster hangout”, whatever that is.

    Wait, one of my sycophants just informed me that the Chelsea hotel hasn’t been “cool” since, like, 1985.

  148. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:00

    blindfolded BDSM reference.

    If you’re blindfolded, you might miss your train.

  149. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:01

    the Chelsea hotel hasn’t been “cool” since, like, 1985 1937

    Fiqqst.

  150. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:03

    “I tried cocaine once in my life (in 1995 with Roy Walford at the Chelsea hotel)”

    “Rubbed it on my arms. Didn’t care for it.”

  151. Pet Wingnut said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:03

    Awwww ain’t I cute? Better watch your fingers missy.

  152. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:06

    Meanwhile, no one here has ever bothered to censor anyone nor out the pet wingnuts like Gary and Urban Meyer?

    While most of us intellectually appreciate the laissez faire attitude round here, It does create the potential to become annoying from time to time. Remember the punk rock hater guy? I know it made a few good old folks find cleaner corners of the intertubas to hang out in.

  153. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:06

    “zombie rotten mcdonald said,
    “Rubbed it on my arms. Didn’t care for it.”

    THAT is hilarious.

  154. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:07

    Awwww ain’t I cute? Better watch your fingers missy.

    Just right. They NEVER have had their shots.

  155. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:07

    THAT is hilarious.

    Since I am all about accreditation today, stole that from Will Durst.

  156. Arnold Alkon' Alter Ego said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:08

    Remember the punk rock hater guy?

    He was a laugh riot, as long as you understood he was just a 10 year old kid living in his Uncle Molester’s basement.

  157. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:08

    Isnt the coach a parody troll? I always thought he waS trying to be funny, and sometimes succeeding.

  158. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:11

    I Am <pphhhtttthhhhhh> Fartacus!

    (just because it was lonely at the end of the dead thread)

  159. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:11

    Isnt the coach a parody troll?

    NOOOOO!!!!! Don’t TELL me that!

  160. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:14

    While most of us intellectually appreciate the laissez faire attitude round here, It does create the potential to become annoying from time to time. Remember the punk rock hater guy? I know it made a few good old folks find cleaner corners of the intertubas to hang out in.

    Back when Steve the White Supremacist was here a lot, I left for a while. But I missed it. Generally, I think the people here defend themselves against trolls better than moderators would.

    Isnt the coach a parody troll?

    I always thought so.

  161. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:15

    I thought The Fule eventually got banned?

  162. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:16

    Wait, one of my sycophants just informed me that the Chelsea hotel hasn’t been “cool” since, like, 1985.

    *chuckles*

    Well, back then they didn’t bitch if you put your own hasp and padlock on the closet.

  163. a different Mikey said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:16

    I know it made a few good old folks find cleaner corners of the intertubas to hang out in.

    I think that when 60%+ of the posts were from the Target and his obsessions it cleaned a lot of the old timers out.

  164. Bigby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:19

    Isnt the coach a parody troll?

    I used to think so, but he’s a) too tedious by half and b) occasionally follows up to responses to his cool coach-isms with very non-badoody language. Unless he’s just that good.

  165. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:19

    I don’t post here often, but what with the determination of these clever, Holmes-like conservatives to out all the lefty posters, I must come clean. “Jacob Singer” is the title character of the film Jacob’s Ladder, played by Tim Robbins.

    My real name is Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson.

    Whew. That’s a weight off my shoulders.

  166. Amy said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:20

    “I’ll give you my Nair™ when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!”

  167. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:20

    That script that allowed us to just not see certain idiots was useful. That was back when there was a stable of writers around here putting up 4-6 stories a day.

    But the trolls were welcome because we would play pinata with them…

  168. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:21

    ….the Target….

    jeez, is that one gonna stick? I suppose I’ll get blamed for that one too.

  169. Johnny Pez said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:21

    Arnold’s got it all wrong! Tintin is really a big bald guy from Yonkers.

  170. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:23

    My last contact with the Chelsea was in the 90′s sometime when I met a Japanese artist whose specialty was spray-painting Pollack like abstracts on down parkas. They were remarkably good, I would have had him do one for me. “How do I find you?” “I live at the Chelsea.”

    {Goons} And I never saw him again.{/Goons}

  171. Looch said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:23

    Yes, ZRM, you will.

    You know, Zombie.

  172. Anonymous said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:24

    Re: The Cool Coach. I vote for parody troll. If not, then the only winger with snarkability.
    Re: Meth. Crank is a helluva drug. Used in moderation of course.

  173. Arnold Alkon's Prostate Gland said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:24

    The tests came back today. No cancer. Yippee!

  174. Matt T. said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:25

    I thought The Fule eventually got banned?

    He started writing poetry. Unforgivable.

  175. the conspiratist said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:26

    “Prove me wrong!! Prove me wrong or I’ll make shit up about an innocent bystander until you have pity on them!”

    He’s never going admit error because that’s not the point.

  176. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:28

    John Cole wins the intertubes with this headline.

    “If I’d Known It Was Going To Be This Kind of Party, I’d Have Stuck My Dick in the Mashed Potatoes.”
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2011/05/12/if-id-known-it-was-going-to-be-this-kind-of-party-id-have-stuck-my-dick-in-the-mashed-potatoes/#comments

  177. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:29

    an innocent bystander until you have pity on them!”

    well, there’s the problem. In this case, the bystander wasn’t innocent OR pitiable.

  178. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:29

    I love the Cool Coach. He is a responsive troll. When he first started out he was doing this until it was pointed out that the cutting and pasting was really just breaking up a spectacularly annoying trolling style. Now he keeps it short and sweet and he’s out.

  179. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:34

    sure, but I don’t see any “Badoodle-boo-yeah!” in that screed, Substance.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  180. Lawnguylander said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:35

    Ummm, that is the real Urban Meyer who posts here. I can totally tell.

  181. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:36

    Cool Coach is better some times than others, but the fact is I’ve always had a soft spot in my brain for Gary Ruppert.

  182. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:39

    Gary Ruppert also has a soft spot in his brain. It’s called his brain.

    Ba-dum-ch!

    Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal, everybody. Heh heh, just kiddin’.

  183. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:39

    Where the f*ck did Gary go? I recall our repartee quite fondly.

  184. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:39

    Wait, that didn’t make any sense.

    Joke fail.

  185. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:39

    Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson

    Yeah!!!
    Duets with Carl ‘Slim’ Salonen on harp!!!
    That was the stuff.

  186. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:40

    I’ll be damned. I always assumed Coach was a parody troll. His whole shtick seemed so silly and over the top. Learn something new…

  187. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:42

    I always assumed Coach was a parody troll.

    I don’t think anything said here prevents him from being one…

  188. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:42

    Where the f*ck did Gary go? I recall our repartee quite fondly.

    The fact is, I’ve been in several of the recent threads. I’m pals with Amy, so I often show up when she gets mentioned. The fact is, I’m like Meade to her Althouse.

  189. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:42

    Wait, that didn’t make any sense.

    I laughed.

  190. Saul said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:42

    Shalom, gentlemen.

  191. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:43

    I think that when 60%+ of the posts were from the Target and his obsessions it cleaned a lot of the old timers out.

    A source of irony in this is that The Target received a talking to for posting address details here.

  192. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:44

    Gary Ruppert also has a soft spot in his brain. It’s called his brain.

    “Brain, brain, brain! Always Brain! What is Brain?”

  193. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:45

    Say what you will, you didn’t know about the patented down on the upstroke technique anywhere but here. So there’s that.

  194. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:45

    The fact is, I’m like Meade to her Althouse.

    you start talking about your sex life with Arnold and I will hunt you down and kill you.

  195. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:46

    the patented down on the upstroke technique anywhere but here.

    frankly, I am kind of surprised nobody ever did a t-shirt for that one.

  196. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:47

    Where the f*ck did Gary go?

    I know he’s here somewhere! My sources never lie! Where the fuck is my god-damned Ritalin! Can’t you all be quiet while I look for my Ritalin?

  197. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:49

    Well, since this has become Old Troll Reminiscence Post, Imma gonna go draw some signage….

  198. Lawnguylander said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:49

    “If I’d Known It Was Going To Be This Kind of Party, I’d Have Stuck My Dick in the Mashed Potatoes.”

    I always wondered where the Beastie Boys got that sample. Now I know. Chicken fucking also referenced in that routine.

    A source of irony in this is that The Target received a talking to for posting address details here.

    Twice and at least one instance was after Alkon posted his info.

  199. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:50

    you start talking about your sex life with Arnold and I will hunt you down and kill you.

    The fact is, while those liberal fascists at LGM deleted Meade’s lively and fascinating buttsex story, that I am a gentleman, and will not tell any of my adventures with Amy. Or with Arnold. I admit it can be confusing.

  200. mark f said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:50

    Does this make me The Marke?

  201. t4toby said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:50

    F*ckin Saul.

  202. Arnold Alkon's Drug Habit said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:53

    Doesn’t EVERYBODY need drugs to function? Yikes!

    I guess in reality I’m just a maladaptive & vindictive loser with a bunch of sycophants to reassure me that I’m really, like, cool & stuff.

  203. the conspiratist said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:57

    well, there’s the problem. In this case, the bystander wasn’t innocent OR pitiable.

    Oh, so it’s just pathetic retard name-calling then?
    Figures.

  204. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:58

    Well, since this has become Old Troll Reminiscence Post, Imma gonna go draw some signage….

    OOH, now we can talk about how much we hates teh zombees without a certain someone getting all up in our grills, because BOY do you have to use the high pressure hose to get out all the bits.

  205. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 19:59

    We were somewhere around Kaiser’s 24-hour pharmacy in the middle of the night on the edge of the desert when the Ritalin began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive….” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge squirrels, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “I’d like to ask my shrink about whether this stuff is safe for me when I see him in June, but I’m kind of afraid that it’ll flag me as some druggie when I just want to put more time into writing my book and less time into trying to catch the squirrels in my head and shove them into their little seats.”

  206. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:00

    He started writing poetry. Unforgivable.

    Poetry hasn’t been the same since laudanum got banned. OMG ALKON IS RIGHT!

  207. sarah said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:03

    what a whiner. amy, darling, if you are so distressed by the “time cost” of driving to the pharmacy, USE KAISER’S MAIL SERVICE. it is pure magic.

  208. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:03

    Would the Sadlygods mind changing the picture in the post to something more pleasant? This, perhaps?

    Sorry for the complete Henricks-a-thon from me, folks. I tried finding a picture of Karen Gillian in glasses but came up empty.

  209. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:04

    “We can’t stop here! This is SQUIRREL COUNTRY!”

  210. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:06

    Malaclypse, bravo! Martini?

  211. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:10

    Martini?

    Make mine a pseudoephedrine.

  212. smedley said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:13

    Orrin Hatch, today:

    “What if an increase in demand for coffee results in Starbucks reporting record profits?”

    Senator Inmydreams: Does the Senator from Utah propose that American taxpayers subsidize Starbucks?

  213. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:17

    We were somewhere around Kaiser’s 24-hour pharmacy in the middle of the night on the edge of the desert when the Ritalin began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive….” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge squirrels, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “I’d like to ask my shrink about whether this stuff is safe for me when I see him in June, but I’m kind of afraid that it’ll flag me as some druggie when I just want to put more time into writing my book and less time into trying to catch the squirrels in my head and shove them into their little seats.”

    You made me larf!
    .

  214. N__B said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:23

    Call me a skeptic, but I don’t think her head’s big enough to contain sixteen squirrels. Unless [ominous pause and music] they’re squirrel fetuses.

  215. Pseudophedrine Martini said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:24

    Fuckin’ squirrels.

  216. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:25

    Pseudoephedrine Martini would be a great bad name.

  217. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:27

    If it’s Old Troll Days here then Bruce has to get a mention.

  218. Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:27

    Containing the squirrels.

  219. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:32

    He started writing poetry. Unforgivable

    Poets I mostly forgive. Mimes, spray silver human statues and people that play the spoons and/or washboard not so much.

  220. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:36

    Fuckin’ squirrels.

    Christ, bad enough that I have sixteen squirrels in my head, but now they start fucking! Christ on a fucking cracker, make it fucking stop! God-damn liberal nanny-staters cutting my pseudoephedine from 120 mg to 60! I spoke to my doctor ex-boyfriend a few weeks ago (he called on his way to Africa) and he said he’d look up pseudoephedrine for me when he gets back. I’m sure he needs to look up common, over-the-counter meds, and that was in no was an excuse to get away from me. If I’m lucky, I’ll run into somebody chatty at some cocktail party who’s really versed in this. The pseudoephedrine seems to really increase my focus when I’m writing. I can even take a little less Ritalin if I take it, but I’m afraid to take it every day. I’m not some druggie, I just want to put more time into writing my book and less time into trying to catch the squirrels in my head and shove them into their little seats.

    Crazy that it’s come to this. Now fetch my fucking Ritalin, and nobody needs to get hurt.

  221. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:41

    Alas, there is no convenient picture of Palin and Alkon together on GIS.

    The world is a weaker place for my inability to visually support my “Moose and Squirrel” pun.

  222. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:47

    George Will:

    The hysteria and hyperbole about Ryan’s plan arise, in part, from a poverty of today’s liberal imagination, an inability to think beyond the straight-line continuation of programs from the second and third quarters of the last century. It is odd that “progressives,” as liberals now wish to be called, have such a constricted notion of the possibilities of progress.

    It’s odd that “conservatives” as maniacs now wish to be called, have such a constricted notion of the possibilities of conservatism.

  223. Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:47

    Alas, there is no convenient picture of Palin and Alkon together on GIS.

    Yes, too bad, but can you find a picture of Karen Gillan in glasses?

    I ask because a friend of mine…

  224. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:48

    OT, but sorta squirrely because it has to do with the GOP… The NYT gathered up 6 political analysts and asked them whom they would like to see in the 2012 race. The results:

    Linda Chavez, identified as “former Reagan official” suggests John Kyl. Ramesh Ponnuru, Senior Editor of National Review, gets a tingle down his leg for Jeb Bush. John J. Pitney, Jr. of Claremont McKenna College suggests it’s too late for add-on candidates. Peter Wehner, of the “Ethics and Public Policy Center,” wants the antithesis of Obama and comes up with 2 possibilities, Paul Ryan and Mitch Daniels. Fergus Cullen, former NH G.O.P Chairman, wants a mainstream alternative and comes out in favor of Jon Huntsman or Mitch Daniels. Dan Schnur of USC says prospective candidates should avoid the siren call, not run, and hone their skills for future elections.

    Not a whiff of flop sweat in any of that, no sirree…

  225. El Manquécito said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:50

    a poverty of today’s liberal imagination,

    George effing Will needs to look at some of Smut’s woodcuts. Poverty of the imagination, I think not!

  226. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:51

    OOOPS…

    Sorry. Forgot the linky to the NYT exhibition of flop sweat:

    http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2011/05/11/whos-missing-from-the-gop-race

  227. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:51

    OMG!

  228. Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:58

    Hott.

  229. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:59

    Dear George Will,

    Keep the good stuff from the past, get rid of the bad stuff.

    Thank you.

    Sincerely,

    LSH.

  230. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:05

    [snerk]

    Donald Trump is working on a policy book “in conjunction with his potential presidential campaign,” Real Clear Politics reports.

    Regnery Publishing is preparing for a late-summer release date.

    http://politicalwire.com/archives/2011/05/12/trumps_manifesto.html

  231. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:06

    Keep the good stuff from the past, get rid of the bad stuff.

    You forget, for Will, keeping gays, females, and non-whites invisible was the good stuff from the past.

  232. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:07

    Not a whiff of flop sweat in any of that, no sirree…

    Surprised nobody has endorsed zombie Ronald Reagon

  233. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:08

    Holy smokes. That lady with the awesome purple glasses must be wearing about 20 coats of mascara or 10 rows of false lashes. I’m surprised her eyelids can hold them up!

  234. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:08

    I hope everybody’s been to see the creepy Reagan cartoon.

  235. Alex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:08

    My bad. I always assumed Arnold was huffing.

  236. exford legs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:09

    Next you’ll tell me that gocart mozart doesn’t zoom around a speedway while wearing breeches and a big curly wig, to the sound of sped-up piano music..

  237. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:11

    Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 20:51

    OMG!

    Reeks of effort.

  238. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:11

    “Senator Inmydreams: Does the Senator from Utah propose that American taxpayers subsidize Starbucks?”

    That would be soshalamism because hippies and slackers and lets not even get into granola eaters. They are the worst.

  239. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:11

    I hope everybody’s been to see the creepy Reagan cartoon.

    I still remember the 1970s:

    But the series took an unexpected plunge in popularity with The U.S. of Archie made in 1974. Designed as a mingling of history with entertainment, it found the gang going back in time in such plots as working with Harriet Tubman on the Underground Railroad for slaves during the 1800s. Such serious concerns were off-kilter for the normally light series, and it disappeared from Saturday mornings in 1975. Its last season on CBS consisted of U. S. of Archie repeats. NBC tried repeats of earlier shows in 1977 under the ride The Bang-Shang Lalapalooza Show, but it flopped too.

  240. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:14

    A.) yes, I saw the vid

    B.) shut up, exford! you will not ruin go-mo for me.

  241. Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:15

    Holy smokes. That lady with the awesome purple glasses must be wearing about 20 coats of mascara or 10 rows of false lashes. I’m surprised her eyelids can hold them up!

    Leave my fantasy girlfriend alone!

  242. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:15

    C.) where might one get some awesome purple sunglasses like that lady is wearing unthread? I must have some.

  243. Old Troll Days said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:16

    In the pantheon of sadlyno trolls one rises above all others.

    Ladies and gentlemen! In this corner I give you the one, the only, the undisputed champion, The Truth!

  244. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:16

    “Next you’ll tell me that gocart mozart doesn’t zoom around a speedway while wearing breeches and a big curly wig, to the sound of sped-up piano music..”

    QUIT SPYING ON ME!!!

  245. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:16

    Spear,

    no glasses, but your friend might think this was interesting.

    brb

  246. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:18

    “I still remember the 1970s:”

    OMG! I do remember that suckitude.

  247. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:20

    Donald Trump is working on a policy book “in conjunction with his potential presidential campaign,” Real Clear Politics reports.

    Working title: Bin Laden, You’re Fired: How I Would Have Done It If I Weren’t an Ineffectual Toolbag Being Made Fun of By the Kenyan Usurper What Did It For Realz.

  248. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:22

    “It’s odd that ‘conservatives’ as maniacs now wish to be called, have such a constricted notion of the possibilities of conservatism.”–Substance McGravitas

    Nice work there… It’s so wierd to watch people who love the words “innovation” and “entrepreneurialism” fall back on the same two or three answers to everything. Feels like a certain episode of Star Trek (Kirk to debased morons: “Among my people we carry many such words as these…”) or watching a cargo cult in action.

    Creativity– a process in which Galtian supermen pay so-called “creative types” to seemingly think and make stuff. The payment works as speech to communicate the essence of the creative product to what are essentially tools or automata.

    Well, I dunno. It’s lunchtime.

  249. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:22

    Time travel Archie sure wasn’t no “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters” that’s for sure!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3U9BuOMkmM

  250. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:24

    OMG! I do remember that suckitude.

    Because, as I have been told, I am evil, and hate all that is good.

  251. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:25

    Time travel Archie sure wasn’t no “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters” that’s for sure!

    Sid and Marty Kroft were genuises. Giants among men.

  252. vs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:26

    “Working title: Bin Laden, You’re Fired: How I Would Have Done It If I Weren’t an Ineffectual Toolbag Being Made Fun of By the Kenyan Usurper What Did It For Realz.”

    Rofl!

  253. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:26

    Also,
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5e9yCB-hiw&feature=related

  254. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:28

    “Sid and Marty Kroft were genuises. Giants among men.”

    This goes without saying. Just saying.

  255. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:28

    Curious that Huckster’s vid mentions Iran and the hostages without delving into the bits about Reagan asking Iran to keep them until after the election so he could use them as political fodder and how he then went and flagrantly broke God knows how many laws selling them arms to fund slush funds for Latin American murder squads.

    Whoopsie! Musta forgot that part.

    Also, too, how in teh awful 70s the mentally ill were actually treated rather than chucked to the curb, homeless.

    Etc.

    Etc.

    Etc.

    Fuck.

  256. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:29

    I think they did a lot of acid also. It comes across in their work.

  257. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:31

    I meant Sid & Marty Croft but the statement may also apply to the Reagon administration also. (But actually, not really)

  258. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:36

    Also, fuck. Ya think they could manage to get someone with at least the slightest sense of movement and/or language to go over the animation they farmed out to Chinese pre-teens for production?

  259. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:38

    “no glasses, but your friend might think this was interesting.”

    Oh sure, sexy shots of whatshername but no Matt Smith butt. Typical. Christopher And His Kind STILL isn’t out in region 1.

  260. Witchiepoo said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:39

    Oranges poranges.

  261. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:40

    I think they did a lot of acid also. It comes across in their work.

    Wait a minute. Are you implying that the creators of fine kid’s shows like H.R. Pufnstuf did not take a hard line against drug use?

  262. Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:43

    no glasses, but your friend might think this was interesting.

    I keep seeing that around. What’s it from, anyway?

  263. Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:45

    Besides my dreams, of course.

  264. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:48

    Next you’ll tell me that gocart mozart doesn’t zoom around a speedway while wearing breeches and a big curly wig, to the sound of sped-up piano music..

    If he isn’t, life is just not worth living.

    What does it mean that Learn Our History is “unbiased”?

    “Unbiased” means we have an unexamined pro-America bias that glosses over or ignores faults while excessively praising unlived-up-to ideals. DUH.

  265. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:49

    Next you’ll tell me that gocart mozart doesn’t zoom around a speedway while wearing breeches and a big curly wig, to the sound of sped-up piano music..

    If he isn’t, life is just not worth living.

    LOL! I know, right?

  266. Witchiepoo said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:49

    OT

    http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2011/may/06/crime-report-arlington-high-teacher-charged-having/

    Thank gawd she didn’t say “gay” – that would have corrupted the kids.

  267. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:52

    Oh sure, sexy shots of whatshername but no Matt Smith butt. Typical

    You, sir, need to watch the movie Mr Smith Goes to Washington Sexytown.

  268. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:52

    well, dammit, I’ve been considering crashing my blog and starting over; turns out Blogger just did it for me, and everybody else, too.

    FYB.

  269. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:52

    If he isn’t, life is just not worth living.

    It gets better.

  270. Pupienus Maximus who is suffering from chronic nym fail said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:53

    Unbiased means “whatever shit we want to believe even if it is completely counterfactual. Cf. David Barton, revisionist historian lying delusional shitbag.

  271. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:54

    I really feel sad about missing the last thread. It was really epic.

  272. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:54

    I know! It’s doing maintenance. Whatever will I do for the next few minutes?!!!

  273. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:58

    Here is the kid who I just learned died in ’06.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oggi3GUfM20&feature=related

    Still looking for obvious LSD related stuff.

  274. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:58

    Doing Maintenance.

  275. Hoosier X said,

    May 12, 2011 at 21:59

    I miss Bruce.

  276. Hoosier X said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:00

    Troofie not so much.

  277. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:00

    Missing Bruce.

  278. Pupienus Maximus who is suffering from chronic nym fail said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:05

    Heh, I too just looked up Jack Wild. Man, he went to shit.

  279. St Bastard of the Glabrous Pate said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:05

    Still looking for obvious LSD related stuff.

    Weren’t mushrooms featured prominently?

  280. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:07

    I found a really ugly website

  281. gocart mozart said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:07

    Full, first episode. Judge for yourself.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Z8gMyI0F4&feature=fvwrel
    “Squeezing the talking flute”also.

  282. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:08

    Weren’t mushrooms featured prominently?

    “Riddled on Ice”!

  283. Malaclypse said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:09

    Weren’t mushrooms featured prominently?

    Wasn’t there a talking bong? Or was that something that I hallucinated separately from TV?

  284. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:14

    Have you heard about the latest controversy?

    Moar here

  285. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:23

    St Bastard of the Glabrous Pate

    Hey! I was confirmed at that church!

  286. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:24

    Before or after death?

  287. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:24

    vs, I was working last night and missed that Stewart bit, but saw it on the intertubros today. One of the best.

  288. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:25

    Wasn’t there a talking bong?

    in my experience, they ALL talk.

    If you are using them correctly, that is.

    Or so I hear. From a friend. I mean I read it.

    On a blog.

  289. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:25

    I am a frequent Jon Stewart critic, but that was good stuff.

  290. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:26

    I found a really ugly website

    if that had linked to the Empire, I would have eaten your kitties.

  291. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:28

    I am a frequent Jon Stewart critic

    hey, you know as liberals we can like someone and still be critical.

    Part of that complexity and contradiction thing.

    Wait, that was Robert Venturi.

    …what were we talking about? You SHUSH, Talking Bong!

  292. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:29

    Before or after death?

    You SHUSH, Talking Bong.

  293. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:32

    I think your blog is pretty slick-looking ackshually.

    And yes about that complexity shit.

  294. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:32

    Weren’t mushrooms featured prominently?

    Also, Super Mario.

    NINTENDO PUSHING DRUGS!

  295. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:34

    I think your blog is pretty slick-looking ackshually.

    It’ll be a shame when I burn it down.

  296. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:35

    Omg, I played the shit out of Super Mario back in the day

  297. exford legs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:35

    ‘If Pac-Man was addictive then we’d all be in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetetive electronic music.’

    -Marcus Brigstocke

  298. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:36

    Silly, you can’t destroy a zombie blog. It will just rise again.

  299. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:37

    You SHUSH, Talking Bong!

    First squirrels, now talking fucking bongs? What the hell is wrong with everybody? What can’t I get a little Ritalin and psuedoephedrine (120 mg, not 60 mg, thank you very fucking much). Why can’t everybody just be quiet?

  300. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:38

    Hey, the squirrels in MY head deserve a voice too, Amy.

  301. exford legs said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:39

    You SHUSH, Talking Bong.

    Ha ha HHAAAHHAAA

    You’re forgiven for beating me to the Chowder Israel joke at T&U’s blog.

  302. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:40

    And why does it say I am posting too much? Why are the liberals keeping me from my freedom? Why won’t my doctor ex-boyfriend call me back to tell me about pseudoephedrine?

  303. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:42

    Hey, the squirrels in MY head deserve a voice too, Amy.

    This is about me. What don’t you understand about that? I was inconvenienced in a pharmacy, even though I’m white and smell nice!

  304. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:44

    It will just rise again.

    BUT IN A DIFFERENT, MORE DISGUSTING FORM.

  305. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:44

    OK—I’m going to post this before reading the whole thread.

    I’ve got hay fever. When Actifed was still a prescription drug, the doctor would give me a batch in the spring and that would do it for the year. So lately I was buying Actifed in the drug store and it worked a treat. Then I tried Sudafed—no effect, zip, nada. “WTF? Isn’t it the same stuff?”

    Turns out it’s not. Sudafed was nothing but pseudoephedrine—or whatever they’ve replaced it with. Actifed has another ingredient called triprolidine. Since Actifed is like a miracle drug for me, and Sudafed is absolutely ineffective, I can only assume it’s the triprolidine that’s doing the job. Does anybody know if you can buy triprolidine anywhere by itself? I don’t need pseudoephedrine or its substitute and my blood pressure doesn’t need any enhancement, thank you very much.

    Now I’ll go back and read the thread.

  306. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:44

    But at least I can get the fuck away from Blooger.

  307. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:45

    Why can’t everybody just be quiet?

    THE INTERNETS ARE TOO NOISY TODAY.

  308. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:47

    Methinks the talking bong was actually from a Mr. Show episode lampooning the Croft brothers.

  309. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:48

    Or Krofft, whatever. Man am I high.

  310. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:48

    Methinks the talking bong was actually from a Mr. Show episode lampooning the Croft brothers.

    THAN HOW DID IT GET IN MY CLOSET, SMART GUY????

  311. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:49

    Or High Guy. Whatever.

  312. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:51

    “THAN HOW DID IT GET IN MY CLOSET, SMART GUY????”

    Squirrels, dude.

    Squirrels.

  313. M. Bouffant said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:54

    This Bugger™ outage is irking the living shit out of me, especially as it’s entirely their fault. They took it down for an alleged “hr.” last night/early this a.m., since then it’s been down twice. I must express myself through quoting others, damnit, & they’re repressing me!

    On topic: I met a short guy at a reefer dealer’s sometime during the ’90s. He claimed to have been the guy in the Pufnstuf suit, for what little that’s worth.

  314. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:55

    since then it’s been down twice

    Apparently it is now being run by Callista Gingrich.

    RIMSHOT.

  315. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:56

    Squirrels, dude.

    Squirrels.

    You don’t even know how much that triggers me, High Guy.

    I would link to a post or two on my blog, but BLOOGER IS FUCKING DOWN.

  316. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:58

    You liberals always wanting everybody to give you free stuff. HARUMPH.

  317. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 22:58

    I have important things to say. Why won’t blogger acknowledge this?

  318. vacuumslayer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:00

    Listen, blogger, funny pictures of cats aren’t going to post themselves.

  319. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:03

    “On topic: I met a short guy at a reefer dealer’s sometime during the ’90s. He claimed to have been the guy in the Pufnstuf suit, for what little that’s worth.”

    This sorta stuff never happens at a dispensary. We will lose so much culture. Even so, as a fellow Los Angeleno, I think Amy Alkon should switch to medical marijuana.

  320. g said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:03

    On topic: I met a short guy at a reefer dealer’s sometime during the ’90s. He claimed to have been the guy in the Pufnstuf suit, for what little that’s worth.

    I once worked with an actor who’d played a Mutant Ninja Turtle in the movie.

  321. g said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:04

    Oh, and FU, Blogger.

  322. Wordpress said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:06

    Man! Pressure’s off!

  323. Jacob Singer said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:09

    “I think Amy Alkon should switch to medical marijuana.”

    I think conservatives in general should be required by law to light up once in a while. Loosen up their sphincters.

    And apologies all around for summoning a mental image of loose conservative sphincters.

  324. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:09

    Why won’t blogger acknowledge this?

    Say them.

  325. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:11

    T V R B of K,

    I once looked around for triprolidine for the same reason, but finally gave up . Benadryl seems to work okay, but not as effective as the Acti.

    It’s probably available from various foreign countries . A quick goooglez….

    http://202.55.129.109/Drug.aspx?drugCode=740&drugName=Triprolidine%20%28HCl%29&type=8

    I clicked on the first manufacturer

    ADAMJEE PHARMACEUTICALS (PVT) LTD.

    Plot 39, Sector 15, Korangi Industrial Area, Karachi-75190,Pakistan

  326. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:13

    I think conservatives in general should be required by law to light up once in a while. Loosen up their sphincters.

    Zombies support this initiative.

    Also, they oughta just unclench and get their freak on. Gay, domination, multiple partners, standing up…. they repress so much it must HURT.

  327. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:14

    zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:09

    tagfail. I blame either the cheap wine, or Donalde.

    Or perhaps Tintin. OR DO I MEAN CARL?

  328. CRA said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:16

    These proud former Pufnstufs and Ninja Turtles are like so many fake Navy Seals. Disgusting.

    “There were four actors who played ninja turtles in the movie, and I’ve met all twelve thousand of them while buying dope,” joked Waterman.

  329. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:17

    I WAS PUFNSTUF!! AND SO WAS MY WIFE!!

  330. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:23

    Related.

    Also a free tasting of Lagunitas beers starts shortly here near campus.

    And “FYB” doesn’t have the same ring as “FYWP”, although I will happily use the current outage as an excuse for why the post I’m working on isn’t up.

  331. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:31

    OR DO I MEAN CARL?

    That’s Hot

  332. Makhno said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:38

    I must confess: I am not an early twentieth century Ukrainian anarchist. Well, I’m not Ukrainian, anyway.

    And I hear that Earl Hickey isn’t a genuine earl!

  333. tigris said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:45

    Listen, blogger, funny pictures of cats aren’t going to post themselves

    They will when Skynet becomes self-aware… Oh crap.

  334. Smut Clyde said,

    May 12, 2011 at 23:48

    the guy in the Pufnstuf suit
    I am imagining this as film noir. The little-known sequel to Teh Maltese Falcon.

  335. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:19

    I am imagining nothing. Fucking blogger!!!
    How can we help the upside down folks through their sad little lives with no blogger?

  336. Jacob Singer said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:22

    “I am imagining this as film noir. The little-known sequel to Teh Maltese Falcon.”

    At the end, they scrape off the suit only to reveal Newt Gingrich underneath.

  337. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:31

    No it’s not “The horribilest thing in the world” genre it’s “Noir”.

  338. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:41

    Thanks, hunchback. I’ll probably just go on buying (generic) Actifed instead of ordering it from Pakistan. Never know when the factory’s going to get bombed.

    On the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Abraham Pais talked in one of his books how his son Josh was so hesitant to tell him he wanted to be an actor instead of a physicist, then how he got a part as one of the TMNTs. So there’s a quarter of them right there—Josh Pais.

  339. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:44

    And I hear that Earl Hickey isn’t a genuine earl!

    I hear there is no Dukedom of Earl, either! Fucking nobility, how does it work?

  340. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:45

    Spearhafoc, who is seeing Thor today said,

    I just hope you’re not feeling Thor after.

  341. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:46

    I have recently been informed that neither Albert King nor BB King is actually royalty.

    My illusions are shattered.

  342. Alex said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:50

    It all makes sense now. She was completely fucked up on over-the-counter cold medecine when she went Carl Salonen on Tintin.

  343. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:51

    OT: Credit where it’s due. There’s a lot not to like about McCain, but he stepped right up and took on the torture apologists. And that’s a good thing.

  344. M. Bouffant said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:56

    This upside-downer’s life is empty & little, not sad & little. Harroomph!

  345. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:57

    people who hate Bloofer can click my name.

    Or not. Zombies are pretty easy going on this stuff.

  346. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 0:59

    Earlier I accused republicans of not being creative, and now I have to apologize. Texas is a true social laboratory. “The [Formula One] motorsport franchise left the U.S. four years ago because of low attendance,” but:

    “As state faces deep cuts [esp. to education] Texas commits $250 million of taxpayer money to auto racing”
    http://thinkprogress.org/2011/05/12/texas-f-1-racing/

    This is the epitome of thinking ahead. When the U.S. is a post-apocalyptic Car Wars hellscape, Texans will rule the roost as the Maddest of Maxes. Sure, they’ll be illiterate, but in that regard they’ll have had a decades-long head start. Just try creating an oral culture on the fly while competing with fifth-generation Texas neoprimitives for gas and ass. I dare ya.

  347. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:00

    Whale Chowder is disturbingly even handed.

    of course, I console myself with the knowledge that during the heat of a campaign, McCain would be all:

    “Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
    wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
    guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
    KILL, KILL.” And I started jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and
    he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
    yelling, “KILL, KILL.” And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
    sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”

  348. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:06

    OK, Alice Arlo.

  349. Jacob Singer said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:07

    ZRM, we don’t want any hangin’s.

  350. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:07

    Ofuck, I just realized…ZRM is Arlo Guthrie!!!11#1!!

  351. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:19

    How can we help the upside down folks through their sad little lives with no blogger?

    WordPress! A-ah.
    It’ll save every one of us!

  352. M. Bouffant said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:22

    Amazon reviews: Is(rael) Carl/Tintin also Newt Gingrich?

  353. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:26

    OT: Credit where it’s due. There’s a lot not to like about McCain, but he stepped right up and took on the torture apologists. And that’s a good thing.

    Funny how one of these chickenhawk asshole neocons will actually argue with John McCain about the efficacy of torture.

    There was a radio talk show host a while back–a right wing guy, who actually stepped up and got waterboarded. His response–unequivocal–that was TORTURE. I forget his name now, but I think if you’re going to approve or argue in favor of waterboarding or any other “enhanced” interrogation tactic, you should have to endure it yourself first.

  354. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:29

    Also, Super Mario.

    Mario!

    Also, too… “It’s full of stars.”

  355. M. Bouffant said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:31

    Mancow, I think.

  356. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:37

    Mancow, I think.

    Yes! That was it. Kind of a douchy blowhard type. He admitted straight to Keith Olbermann’s face that it was torture. Dude gets ups for being a man about that, at least.

  357. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:43

    Christopher Hitchens also got waterboarded and wrote that it was torture. I think he went to Marine school so that he would get experts who wouldn’t kill him though. Of course he had been to boarding school in Engerland so was used to worse.

  358. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:49

    I am Carlos Santana!

  359. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:51

    I am Carlos the Jackal.

  360. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:53

    I am also sick of not going 4 minutes without thinking about smoking. GRRRRRRRR.

    BTW, if anyone here is considering taking up smoking. I do not recommend it.

  361. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:54

    Mostly cuz it fucks up your punctuation skills.

    And sentence composition skills.

  362. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:54

    I likee this:

    http://epic4chan.tumblr.com/post/5219553267/we-shall-overcomb

  363. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:54

    Awww. That sucks.

  364. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:57

    Um, that was to tsam, not Looch. The Donald pic is pretty funneh.

  365. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 1:57

    Rev.

    I once asked the Safeway Pharmacist ‘why?’. He had no answer, but he assured me that there were warehouses in Mexico
    full of ephedrin for those prone to chemistry.
    Don’t know if that’s true, but he sure thought the whole I.D. thing was pretty stupid.

    …neither Albert King nor BB King is actually royalty.

    Freddie was.

    BLUES WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  366. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:02

    Tsam:

    Bupropion ( /bju??pro?.pi?.??n/ bew-proh-pee-ahn[1]; marketed as Wellbutrin, Zyban, Voxra, Budeprion, or Aplenzin; formerly known as amfebutamone[2]) is an atypical antidepressant and smoking cessation aid. The drug is a non-tricyclic antidepressant and differs from most commonly prescribed antidepressants such as SSRIs, as its primary pharmacological action is thought to be norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibition. It binds selectively to the dopamine transporter, but its behavioural effects have often been attributed to its inhibition of norepinephrine reuptake.[3][4] It also acts as a nicotinic acetylcholine receptor antagonist.[5]

    Get some. I am.

  367. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:03

    Stop yerwhinging tsam. It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it many times.

    /staler than stale joke

  368. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:07

    It was called Wellbutrin whenprescribed as an antidepressant and Zyban when used on-label for smoking cessation. It is available in a generic and is cheap.

    Also too, we would never have made it without the gum. Magic.

  369. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:08

    That is to say, if you ain’t using nicotine gum GO GET SOME RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

  370. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:10

    Yes, Wellbutrin.

  371. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:12

    I am Carlos Castaneda.
    ~

  372. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:16

    Christopher Hitchens also got waterboarded and wrote that it was torture.

    Sean Hannity promised he would undergo waterboarding and report back on its non-torture nature. That was about a year ago but no-one’s holding their breath, especially not him.

  373. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:26

    Bupropion ( /bju??pro?.pi?.??n/ bew-proh-pee-ahn[1]; marketed as Wellbutrin, Zyban, Voxra, Budeprion, or Aplenzin; formerly known as amfebutamone[2]) is an atypical antidepressant and smoking cessation aid.

    Doc said bad idea following the use of Chantix and a “bad reaction” about which I won’t go into detail. No drugs allowed.

    I have an e-cig, which momentarily calms me down. I’m just being a bitch. It’s actually physically exhausting.

  374. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:27

    Stop yerwhinging tsam. It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it many times.

    Lil Richard says….

  375. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:29

    Awww. That sucks.

    I’ll be allright. On plus side, these inexplicable mood swings seem to give me some insight to what it must be like to be a woman.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bad comedian is BACK!

    ((running like hell))

  376. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:31

    Wow–who would have thought a family values guy like John Ensign could be such a not-very-nice guy?

    Amazing.

  377. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:34

    “((running like hell))”

    Prolly don’t have to run fast.

  378. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:34

    I killeded it again, didn’t I?

  379. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:37

    ((running like hell))
    Tsam runs like a girl.

  380. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:37

    Prolly don’t have to run fast.

    But I CAN run fast now because I have stopped smoking.

  381. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:38

    I think it’s just that time of night.

  382. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:39

    Blogger done killed evr’thing.
    *sniff*

  383. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:39

    Also, Orrin Hatch sucks oily balls like a girl.

  384. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:43

    Oral Hatch.
    Hm–Yes.

    Dear Mr. FilthyrichoilDon:

    Please feel free to drill baby drill in my oral hatch.

    Yours dirty;
    Oral.

  385. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:47

    “Blogger done killed evr’thing.
    *sniff*”

    I know!

  386. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:48

    It’s a nuclear blooger winter.
    ~

  387. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:48

    One wonders how balls get oily.

  388. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:52

    Not to be confused with a nuclear edgar winter.
    ~

  389. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 2:55

    One wonders how balls get oily.

    Teabagging rednecks, of course.

  390. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:05

    Thunder and tsam both earn this: LOL

  391. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:11

    tsam (& looch?): I’m at about 5 years after smoking for something like 35. If you haven’t done it, go to the American Lung Association stop smoking site and work through their program.

    I can tell you it helped me stick to it. Best of luck!

  392. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:12

    One wonders how balls get oily.

    Many modern bearings use graphite instead.

  393. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:14

    Hah Thundra tries to muddy the waters he means Johnny Winter, of course

  394. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:19

    he means Johnny Winter, of course

    That’s another thing. Did you know he isn’t actually a season?

  395. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:21

    Many modern bearings use graphite instead.

    In the doorknob biz, we use lithium. Keeps the locks calm and stable.

  396. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:22

    Did you know he isn’t actually a season?

    The HELL you say.

  397. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:30

    Keeps the locks calm and stable.

    Lox should be sable.

  398. PS said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:40

    I wouldn’t want to tempt anyone to visit the Gateway Pundit, but you might fancy dropping in at TBogg’s:
    “http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/05/12/jim-hoft-is-still-quite-stupid/
    It’s worth the trip.

  399. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:43

    Meteorological American shout-out:

    Edgar and Johnny Winter – Drop the Bomb
    ~

  400. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:43

    Okay fine.

    I swear it looks like Freddie is going to snap that neck .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdyvPg0c6bI

  401. Spearhafoc, who was mildly entertained by Thor said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:01

    This thread has had a shocking lack of Karen Gillan since I’ve been away. I shall have to rectify that situation.

  402. Spearhafoc, who was mildly entertained by Thor said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:07

    Rectifying the situation.

    I tried to link to a picture of Matt Smith in a dress but the damned thing wouldn’t work. I couldn’t even get the one of him kissing another dude to show up properly.

  403. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:14

    nice, lsh.

    People appreciated shirt collars back then, also.

    Blooger update: yes, we have no blooger.

    P.S. Love to Love You, Baby – 1975
    ~

  404. Steven R. Spurlock said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:16

    I think Mr. Douglas is on to something.

  405. kg said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:17

    love this takedown of “rand paul” by the inimitable bernie sanders

    I love the way bernie talks (both what he’s saying and how)

    btw, pls forgive the e$dog link but its the only one I found with both original idiocy and subsequent verbal wedgie together.

  406. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:21

    Ha–look at the chick behind him. Those WTF? looks are priceless.

  407. kg said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:26

    ah yes, eric “mancow” mueller graced the airwaves of chicago for prolly over a decade. he started out as an idiot morning guy but, like most of these fucking whores, realized that he could somehow earn more as a rightwing blowhard.

    Bring back Morton Downey Jr.

  408. Spearhafoc, who was mildly entertained by Thor said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:32

    love this takedown of “rand paul” by the inimitable bernie sanders

    Ah yes, Mr. Paul, the founders of your country were against imaginary slavery (doctors being forced at gunpoint to treat patients they were apparently perfectly willing to see die in horrible pain) but absolutely in favour of real slavery (you know, forcing people to work and die for you because of the colour of their skin).

  409. Spearhafoc, who was mildly entertained by Thor said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:40

    I really, genuinely hate these libertarian asswipes.

  410. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:42

    tsam (& looch?): I’m at about 5 years after smoking for something like 35. If you haven’t done it, go to the American Lung Association stop smoking site and work through their program.

    Thanks, WC. Will read.

  411. repsac3 (Lord BWAAAAAHAHA is not Sal carlonen) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:48

    I mean, there’s probably a lot evidence that a certain failed NY thespian is in fact Tintin at his blog

    Tintin is a failed lesbian. Pass it on…

  412. jim said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:49

    Caption needs to be changed to: Above: Amy Arnold Alkon (left).

  413. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:50

    Why don’t we just activate the super liberal commie machine of death against the real american tobacco merchants and stuff? Oh, that’s right. Conservatives made that shit up.

    I’m going to start a blog and write all dumb shit that isn’t true, but you’re all really afraid of and you will ALL KNEEL DOWN AND WORSHIP ME! BWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH11!!!

    Shit–did I say that out loud?

  414. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:52

    Caption needs to be changed to: Above: Amy Arnold Alkon (left).

    Above: Arnold Alkon and unidentified red headed junkie.

  415. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:53

    Tintin is a failed lesbian. Pass it on…

    Tintin is a pale thespian. Pass it on.

  416. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 4:55

    I really, genuinely hate these libertarian asswipes.

    Me too. Except for that whole legalizing drugs thing. Other than that, dem fools is WHACK.

  417. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:01

    Tintin is Donna Summer

    aka : LaDonna Adrian Gaine

  418. Amy Alkon's psychiatrist said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:03

    I like to think of drugs as intoxiCANs.

  419. KWillow said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:07

    “Everyone in the Family knows you’re lazy and a hypochondriac” commented my sister the other evening, in the middle of a conversation about other things.

    I said “I’m depressed. Anti-depressants don’t work for me.” (or not for long. Wellbutrin is the best of them, but it makes me very irritable, apt to fly into a rage at nothing. What can I do? It’s humiliating… “lazy and hypochondriac” that stings. I wish I could take ritilin or whatever…anything that would work.

  420. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:08

    Donna Summer and Johnny Winter? Fake seasonal people

  421. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:12

    Tintin is Donna Noble.

    What? I liked Donna.

  422. Cerberus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:14

    What was the origin of attacking Amy Alkon on transphobic grounds? Or is the first rule of memes never ask for the origin?

    Sperhafoc-

    I was unaware that the Hippocratic Fucking* Oath was now a commie plot to destroy all our freedoms and slavery to boot.

    Wow, wingnuts are edu-ma-cational!

    *Go on, everyone, I know you want to**

    ** And yes, I know you want to say “that’s what she said” to the first asterix***

    ***Nothing, just wanted to see if you’d look.

  423. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:17

    KWillow — exercise and re-examining your diet might help.

    (I know it sounds trite, and I don’t mean to make assumptions about you, and I certainly remember feeling miffed when a doctor and someone else told me that. But they were right. On the other hand, anti-depressants do something for me. It isn’t enough, but it’d be kindof creepy if it was.)

  424. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    May 13, 2011 at 5:48

    Hey, anybody remember the Golden Age of trolling, back when Annie Angel and her boyfriend (Sneaker something?) posted here? She was crazy like a shithouse rat. What was her line? “Bless you, fuckers” or something like that? Good times. Then there are the singular douchemonsters that visited; Godlstein, CigarSkunk, that crazy Canadian woman, that crazy Canadian guy (Adam Whatsifuck?)…. Help, I’m getting old on the intertubes!

  425. M. Bouffant said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:01

    Shoelimpy, wadnit?

  426. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:13

    Was Gary Ruppert ever real?

  427. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:15

    Shoelimpy indeed. The name was even stupider than I remembered.

  428. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:19

    Psst! I hear Tintin is a male chest surgeon.

  429. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:22

    Was Gary Ruppert ever real?

    Real what?

  430. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 6:30

    Real what?

    Real annoying?

  431. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 13, 2011 at 7:30

    One wonders how balls get oily.

    Same way we all do. Dey set de alahm clock.

  432. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2011 at 7:39

    Donna Summer and Johnny Winter? Fake seasonal people

    It ruined The Fall for me when I found out that Mark E. Smith was lip-synching his meteorology.

  433. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 8:36

    Male chest surgeon? A friend would like to know, does he take rib orders?

  434. M. Bouffant said,

    May 13, 2011 at 9:01

    Har har. If you thought you published something on your Blogger™ web log yesterday, the 12th, you may be mistaken.

  435. Another Kiwi said,

    May 13, 2011 at 10:19

    It’s munching up comments too. I’m gonna get some wine inna paper bag with my compensation money

  436. repsac3 ( BWAAAAAHAHA is now you see it, now you don't) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 10:22

    “Har har. If you thought you published something on your Blogger™ web log yesterday, the 12th, you may be mistaken.”

    Dang, comments to older posts, too… It’s like May 12 never happened, blogger-wise…

    Shit…

  437. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 10:42

    Blogger is doing a test run for the rapture.

  438. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 11:52

    What was the origin of attacking Amy Alkon on transphobic grounds?

    I don’t know, but for what it is worth, I think it demeans us, not her. There is plenty to mock her for, so why bring transphobia into it?

    /sets off soapbox; goes to finish coffee.

  439. Chris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 11:55

    Obama should have let Petraeus announce Bin Laden’s death, as doing it himself gave the impression that he was in fact the one to order the mission “unduly elevated the status of Bin Laden to the entire world.”

    Also, too Donald Trump hammering away at Obama was what forced him to act. And of course, we got him through torture which means this was all to Bush’s credit.

    They’ve been grasping at straws for two weeks now, each more pathetic than the last.

  440. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 13, 2011 at 11:58

    tsam:

    The main problem with libertarian drug legalization is that it must, by necessity, get wrapped up in the horrible stupid libertarian ideas that follow.

    If they legalize drugs but defund any regulating agency (which they would kind of have to since they want to do that with every-fucking-thing else) that could check to make sure all those legal drugs aren’t being cut with bleach and okapi laxative; then all we’re really doing is replacing the shitty small-business drug dealers that fuck you over for large corporate drug dealers that fuck you over.

    And really, we can get that now with the horrible shitty system of non-legal drugs, so no replacement is taking place at all!

  441. actor212 said,

    May 13, 2011 at 12:01

    The funniest bit about Arnold’s article that I…I mean, TinTin…linked to is how she blames the Democrats for the war on drugs.

    As if.

  442. actor212 said,

    May 13, 2011 at 12:03

    What was the origin of attacking Amy Alkon on transphobic grounds?

    Not, actually. We mocked her for dressing like a drag queen. That’s hardly homo- or transphobic. It’s a fashion statement.

  443. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 12:41

    This just in:

    Blogger is still dead.

    However, they have removed the mention of the problem they had in Blogger Status, so I guess that’s progress.

    There is no problem!
    ~

  444. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 12:54

    Blogger has always been at war with Eastasia.

  445. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 13:00

    As if.

    So, when’s the reveal? I want to be around for that.

  446. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 13:11

    Blogger Status
    Friday, May 13, 2011

    To get Blogger back to normal, all posts since 7:37am PDT on Weds, 5/11 have been temporarily removed. We expect everything to be back to normal soon. Sorry for the delay.

    Posted by at 04:25 PDT

    Try more fiber, blogger!
    ~

  447. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 14:02

    In Blogger’s defense, the outage doesn’t affect my planned posting schedule in the least.

  448. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 14:12

    The main problem with libertarian drug legalization is that it must, by necessity, get wrapped up in the horrible stupid libertarian ideas that follow

    I know. I’m grasping at anything that isn’t the status quo at the moment.

    However, it is a mistake to validate anything those libertarians say. So instead of legalizing drugs, maybe we could educate right wingers and libertarians.

  449. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 14:26

    maybe we could educate right wingers and libertarians.

    You can lead them whores to culture, but you can make ‘em think.
    ~

  450. The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head said,

    May 13, 2011 at 14:32

    12 FUCHING FERRETS!

  451. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:06

    Merkin Patriot: greatest troll of all time.
    ~

  452. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:09

    We’ve started restoring the posts that were temporarily removed and expect Blogger to be back to normal soon.

    Posted by at 06:07 PDT

    I blame fish.

  453. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:16

    Yep.

    All feeshie’s fault.

    It was his rejected Time cover series that did it, prolly.

    (Note that you don’t see Rejected Time Cover IV, which he did publish yesterday afternoon.)
    ~

  454. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:22

    Ceiling Bin Laden FTW.

  455. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:30

    Was anyone else actually pleasantly surprised to see Democratic senators actually calling those oil cartel CEO’s out on their claim that making them pay some taxes like a small business or ordinary citizen is unamerican?

    I found it to be pretty awesome, personally. Not that it changes a motherfucking thing, I just kind of liked it.

  456. El Manquécito said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:31

    How could I have missed a talking bong thread? Mine tends to speak chilango slang: “Ay, no mames buey!”

  457. tigris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:36

    KWillow, sorry about your sister. Since I can’t find anything nice to say about her, here is video that is cute and cheering.

  458. Slim Charles said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:38

    KWillow said, May 13, 2011 at 5:07

    My experience has been similar to CRA’s. Regular exercise and eating properly, including getting plenty of Omega 3 via fish oil and via foods high in same, has elevated my mood to the point that I’ve been weened off anti-depressants over the past few years. But that’s just a start. Finding a therapist that didn’t indulge my formerly self pitying ways was necessary too. Sitting around stewing in past hurts in the guise of treating them truly is a mug’s game. She recommended some books by Martin Seligman such as “Learned Optimism,” and to help me prepare my son for his own probable future battle with the Quare Fella, “The Optimistic Child,” and they were very helpful. Finally, none of it was going to be of much use to me if I didn’t quit drinking and smoking pot so I did that too. Best of luck to you.

    And ,DAS, if you’re still reading, sorry. I think I misinterpreted your comment up there. I guess you were making fun of Alkon rather than further distorting Seligman’s ideas. Which I know come under some criticism from other mental health professionals but I think they’re useful to a lot of depressives so my bad. What a shame that Alkon has planted her taint on him.

  459. g said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:51

    Har har. If you thought you published something on your Blogger™ web log yesterday, the 12th, you may be mistaken.

    must be the rapture

  460. vs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 15:51

    “I found it to be pretty awesome, personally. Not that it changes a motherfucking thing, I just kind of liked it.”

    No, it was pretty great.

  461. Pupienus Maximus who is suffering from chronic nym fail said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:01

    “What was the origin of attacking Amy Alkon on transphobic grounds? Or is the first rule of memes never ask for the origin?”

    What Actor said and also, as someone recently explained, she once “accused” (is this the right use of scare quotes?) a commenter of being “a tranny” (I do not recall if she used that word).

  462. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:08

    Slim Charles — well put. In my case, I now know what needs to be done, but I am not doing much of it at the moment.

    “Was anyone else actually pleasantly surprised to see Democratic senators actually calling those oil cartel CEO’s out on their claim that making them pay some taxes like a small business or ordinary citizen is unamerican?”

    Oh yes, but what I can’t recall is this. Did a senator specifically call out these CEOs on the absurd claim that they’re being “singled out”? Such obvious gibberish is lying, though they may believe it. But tax codes that apply to their industry (not others) are in question. They were singled out for tax breaks.

  463. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:09

    she once “accused” (is this the right use of scare quotes?) a commenter of being “a tranny

    I can see why no one would want to be compared to an engine block, but transmissions are sort of cool if you look at how they work.

  464. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:24

    Oh yes, but what I can’t recall is this. Did a senator specifically call out these CEOs on the absurd claim that they’re being “singled out”? Such obvious gibberish is lying, though they may believe it. But tax codes that apply to their industry (not others) are in question. They were singled out for tax breaks.

    Singled out for subsidies and tax exemptions, yes. Additionally, they’re way over the “too rich to pay taxes because paying taxes is for the little people” line.

    Where are you, Teddy Roosevelt?

  465. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:26

    What was the origin of attacking Amy Alkon on transphobic grounds? Or is the first rule of memes never ask for the origin?

    The fact is, see here. The fact is, also the beginnings of All. One. Guy. Who’s Gary Ruppert.

  466. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:35

    Gary Ruppert; Super Genius.

  467. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:40

    The fact is, who is this guy?

    Furthemore…who among us is not Gary Ruppert?
    ~

  468. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 13, 2011 at 16:40

    The fact is, Amy completes me. She fills me and makes me whole, if you know what I mean. The fact is, I never met a woman like her here in the Heartland.

  469. Jennifer said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:01

    I tried Wellbutrin; it gave me the head crawls and completely destroyed my ability to concentrate. But now that I know tsam is in the middle of trying to quit, maybe I’ll give it a try too – unassisted, since I already know the meds aren’t going to work for me. Maybe it will be enough just to know that someone else is navigating the same hellscape I am at the same time.

    As for the decongestants, I haven’t used one since my early 20s…the last time I took one it made my heart skip beats. Not a pleasant feeling. The only one that ever worked for me anyway was Dimetapp but having not taken it in 25 years now I have no idea if it’s even still around. OTOH, I figured out that most of the time when I have nasal congestion it’s more due to swelling in the mucosa than the snot itself, and have found I can get relief (and sinus drainage) through meditation. Might not work for others who have less propitious sinus architecture, but for me, relaxation + gravity + visualizing the dilation of the aperatures from sinus cavities to the back of the throat does the trick.

  470. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:02

    I was reading the Real Troll – Fake Troll discussion and decided to scroll down for a Comment.

    Whenever a trollish sort of post shows up, I enjoy speculation and discussion by Sadlies right away. Real troll? Imposter? Person with a manic episode? (I had a wonderful discussion with Spengler over that odd person with an obsession with brackets.)

    If this a real troll, the discussion will infuriate them, as we put his/her style, spelling, syntax, rhertoric, and argumentation under the microscope. If it is a fake troll–which I will admit to doing when I was a n00b–the critique can offer pointer for improving next time.

    Also there is a delightful ‘piling on’ quality to S, N! troll ripostes. So I’m not irritated when a troll shows up. I think they are fun and spice up the thread. One of the things I so enjoy about reading S,N! is its roller-coaster quality.

    Haven’t nearly caught up. The Sadlies are in FINE form today!

  471. Gary Ruppert, Super Genius Behind Sadly, No said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:03

    The fact is, I got to know Amy very well after that little incident. She is a lovely lady, and hardly ever throws things at me. The fact is, those squirrels are nasty rodents, as anybody in the Heartland would know.

  472. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:14

    OT
    Teabaggers cause city to lose 500 jobs.

    http://sustainablebusinessoregon.com/articles/2011/05/solopower-set-to-spurn-wilsonville-for.html

    They are falling all over themselves trying to blame each other, the company, anyone and everyone except themselves. I would enjoy the schadenfreud were the damage limited to the baggers.

  473. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:18

    But now that I know tsam is in the middle of trying to quit, maybe I’ll give it a try too – unassisted, since I already know the meds aren’t going to work for me. Maybe it will be enough just to know that someone else is navigating the same hellscape I am at the same time.

    Day 5 now. One thing that I can say is helping is an e-cig. It’s not making the cravings or the inappropriate and inexplicable mood swings go away, but it’s something I can do besides pigging out on popcorn or peanuts or something like that. It’s making a small difference. What’s REALLY helping is this. I pay $ 800.00/month in child support (see below for related story pertaining to anti-depressants and unintended consequences), and cigarettes here my blue state are $ 8.00/pack. I can drive to Idaho and save a couple of bucks a pack, but who does that? So after $800 in support, roughly $240 per month in cigarettes is just not helping my budget last as long as a pay period. I’m depriving my children of things they want and need, and depriving myself. I need new underwear and socks and jeans, but never seem to have the money for it, because I have to leave enough in my fucking account to make sure I had cigarettes until the next payday. Summary; This fucking disgusting, smelly, self destructive fucking depraved behavior is priority # 1 in my life. You can try to rationalize your way around it, but it’s true for every smoker. You may have a long stretch between paydays, be boiling ramen soup to eat, but you’ve got smokes, don’t you?

    Re; Antidepressants. These agitate me beyond belief. I shouldn’t go into much more detail, but it was Chantix I was taking, and a murder or attempted murder nearly went down. Let’s just say that if you’re using any antidepressant, monitor your thoughts closely, be honest with yourself, and get help immediately if something disturbing is going on.

  474. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:19

    This is off topic, for which I feel a surprising amount of guilt, since the thread has stayed remarkably close to on-topic this far down, but I must vent.

    For some time now, I have been seeing bumper stickers, red with white text and white maple leaf that say, “If you don’t stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them”. Now, that is bad enough, and begs a lot of important questions about what it means to “stand behind” the troops, and whether that should necessarily mean supporting every foolhardy mission some politician can dream up to endanger them, but I had gotten used to it.

    Today, I saw a bumper sticker, almost identical, red with white text and white maple leaf that said, “If you don’t stand behind our troops we will gladly put you in front of them” (italics mine).

    Am I being a fainting violet, or is the second really a significant escalation of the first? It just seems like an ugly, ugly thing to say.

  475. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:21

    is there such thing as a prodepressant? Is anyone taking them?

  476. Thread Bear said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:23

    Just a few songs dedicated to blogger.

  477. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:26

    is there such thing as a prodepressant?

    Every single thing that appears above “‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™” on his website.

  478. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:26

    this, too.

  479. tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:32

    is there such thing as a prodepressant?

    Greedy ex wives do the job nicely.

    Comparing what I pay in taxes to what Exxon-Mobile pays…

    Missing Sanjaya’s riveting performances on American Idol….

    No pill required.

  480. Thread Bear said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:36

    I think almost all the pro depressants are on Fox News now. The rest are areally just amateur depressants.

  481. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:37

    You may have a long stretch between paydays, be boiling ramen soup to eat, but you’ve got smokes, don’t you?

    I remember stealing ketchup packets from McDonalds to make “tomato soup,” because when it came down to actual food or smokes, well, the choice was clear.

    Good luck, again. And for me it got better fast after the first week.

  482. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:38

    I’d like to present this laurel and hardy handshake to…

    bleaaaaahhhhh

  483. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:41

    I remember stealing ketchup packets from McDonalds to make “tomato soup,” because when it came down to actual food or smokes, well, the choice was clear.

    Mmmmm, yes.

    Well, I’ve stolen a recipe I found here on S,N!, where you boil noodles, drain the noodles, put cheeze on the noodles, then pour the boiling water back over the noodles to melt the cheeze. It’s heavenly. Who knew gourmet victuals could be had for so little expense?

  484. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:44

    What a shame that Alkon has planted her taint on him.

    There you go with your transphobic jokes again.

  485. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:47

    Spearhafox:

    I also am seeing Thor today. He is standing beneath a sky of unruly Huge Squirrels.

    I think it has something to do with the sweet smoke.

  486. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:48

    There you go with your transphobic jokes again.

    It’s hard to resist them when that picture keeps taunting tainting me from my computer screen.

  487. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:48

    Si!
    ~

  488. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:49

    Not an error! Written in tribute to Spear’s cleverness!

  489. Anonymous said,

    May 13, 2011 at 17:51

    Teabaggers cause city to lose 500 jobs.

    The article’s a little vague on details (outlining instead how the company’s moving to a different town). Was it a taxation issue or something else?

  490. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:06

    More on SoloPower and Wilsonville

    And I don’t believe allowing HRH Mayor Knapp and his royal court to push this down our throats without a vote is proper.
    ~

  491. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:08

    Coupla teabaggers forced a referendum on the $11M incentive pkg. the town council put together to land the factory. Co. says we can’t wait for Sept. for a maybe. Bye! CEO is in PDX now, mayor to announce factory to be in Portland, at 10 am.

  492. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:10

    tsam:

    Solidarity! I decided to leverage my smoke-free week in the hospital to quit smoking. I figured that was past the worst of the physical addiction, and I was so drugged up I scarely noticed it.

    That was 54 days ago. But the pschological claws are so fuckin’ deep in me. Heavy caffiene-and-nicotine addiction associated with every job I’ve done: in the studio booth; in the Watch Office and the field; and, for thirty years of writing. I also want a smoke when I totally bored, e.g. long-distance Interstate driving. Alsorunder special stress, tension, nervousness.

    All of this is wired into me. I sit and work at the machine…and I find myself automatically stopping and reaching for a smoke. It drives me nuts. I’m also cranky. (Well, crankier than normal…)

    Anyway, tsam, Solidarity!

    ((Btw I chain-smoked for four decades. And like a chimney, too: Two packs a day for the last several years.))

  493. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:13

    After reading about it, I am inclined to side with the petitioners. I think that tax incremented financing is a way that companies encourage a race to the bottom. If that company is excited enough about a city that they want to build there, they ought to be willing to pay taxes in that city. That $11 million in financing the city is giving away could pay for a lot of municipal salaries and operating expenses.

  494. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:15

    Kick it’s ass, tsam.

  495. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:15

    FENWICK!!!!!!!!!!!

  496. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:16

    Yeah, not only are hospitals great places to shed some pounds, also ripe for shunning the weed. Recovering from triple bypass surgery is a great cessation strategy.

  497. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:22

    That $11 million in financing the city is giving away could pay for a lot of municipal salaries and operating expenses.

    Good point, Helmut.

    Except that the factory isn’t going to be in Wilsonville, so the $11 million in tax breaks on the hypothetical taxes the company could owe will not in fact be paying for municipal salaries and operating expenses.
    ~

  498. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:22

    Total economic benefit to city w/ plant, net of tax incentives: 300+ M$ over ten years. W/o plant, less than zero – those 500 unemployed people are stealing government services.

  499. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:27

    ” Let’s just say that if you’re using any antidepressant, monitor your thoughts closely, be honest with yourself, and get help immediately if something disturbing is going on.” — tsam

    Double-down on that!

    Went through four anti-depressants without any benefits (one had such nasty side-effects I refused to take it). In the ward, they hit on an antidepressant with some benefits; I’ve been on it for a decade. Several years ago, the prescribing physician added a mood stabilizer; the combination of the two has been very effective in my case,

  500. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:27

    Also too, there’s a difference between “encouraging a race to the bottom” and winning competitive bidding contracts to build your industrial economic base. You don’t want to compete? Fine, you don’t get the business.

  501. Cerberus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:32

    Thanks those who pointed out the origin.

    Still a bit silly in my opinion (I know, what a crime), not to mention problematic, but I can see why it became a meme.

    And after amazing detective work like that, I can see why Donaldisreal felt she was a true genius able to divine Tintin’s true identity.

    I suppose we should just be grateful that she didn’t just go on a rant about how Tintin was actually Asterix.

  502. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:37

    If I was feeling pissy I would look up the foreclosure rate in Wilsonville and environs.

  503. Thread Bear said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:38

    Nitnit is Tintin! (backwards)

  504. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:40

    Or simply say something about expenses versus capital investment. But I’m not pissy.

  505. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:41

    Tintin is too tall to be Asterix. He may be Obelix.

  506. exford legs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:42

    Hey Fenwick, hope you’re well.

    I tried giving up with the gum. No good for me. Got me so wound up that I had to smoke. But, about nine or ten weeks ago I got the flu pretty bad, and was easily able to avoid smoking while having a throat like sandpaper and a chest like a.. one of those squeezy.. accordion.

    After I got over the flu I was able to stay off the smokes, so it was an unintentional Cold-Turkey method for me.

    But before that, I had made a conscious effort to cut down. Rationing helped: I made a deal with myself to set a limit of x cigarettes per day, no more. Then I gradually decreased the ration.

  507. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:43

    OMG! xiretsA! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

  508. exford legs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:47

    Zigacktly!

  509. Reuben, Esq. said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:47

    Who broke Blogger?

  510. El Manquécito said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:48

    Usually the first of the season peaches are not the best. This year may be different (lots of chill hours, hot, dry spring); the two pecks I bought yesterday are superb. Big pot of peach chutney simmering away now.

    Simmering the chutney.

    Re: nicotine. I encourage everyone I know that smokes to quit since I watched a good friend put in the ground after lung cancer hemorrhage. My solution is swedish snus (don’t buy the US branded shite). No spit, solid nicotine ingestion, use anywhere convenience. With most bars and music venues smoke-free snus is popular with musicians. If you want to quit though do it. I find days 9 through 11 to be the worst but YMMV. Good luck.

  511. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:48

    I can’t be bothered to check Le Donalde’s site. Has he figured it out yet? Or perhaps he’s doubling and quadrupling down on teh st00pit?

  512. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:58

    That was 54 days ago. But the pschological claws are so fuckin’ deep in me. Heavy caffiene-and-nicotine addiction associated with every job I’ve done: in the studio booth; in the Watch Office and the field; and, for thirty years of writing. I also want a smoke when I totally bored, e.g. long-distance Interstate driving. Alsorunder special stress, tension, nervousness.

    I hear you–EVERYTHING is a fucking trigger. Coffee (which I drink by the gallon), getting in the car. Finishing a project at work. Eating. Getting up in the morning.

    BLEAH. I hate going through this. I feel like a loser. But I will NOT let this defeat me. I will prevail. Fuck you, cigarettes.

  513. Pyschologically Distinguished Monster said,

    May 13, 2011 at 18:59

    It would be an improvement if squirrels could write her column. They would save the internets.

    Has TinTin rediscovered himself?

  514. g said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:00

    Or perhaps he’s doubling and quadrupling down on teh st00pit?

    I can answer this without even looking. Yes.

  515. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:05

    I seem to be in a poor state today to learn how to do this variant task and then do it for money. I tucked in my shirt, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

    Glad that I tried alcohol and pot before tobacco (all in my thirteenth year). Cigarettes didn’t seem to do much, and I had watched my dad and grandad chain-smoke growing up, making it seem profoundly uncool: emphysema, etc.

  516. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:06

    Shorter Arnold Alkon, Bad Advice Goddess

    I am completely unable to write unless I am as high as a kite on cough medicine.

    Even Moar Shorterer’d

  517. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:08

    I can’t be bothered to check Le Donalde’s site. Has he figured it out yet? Or perhaps he’s doubling and quadrupling down on teh st00pit?

    Blogger’s outage and LGM censorship may have temporarily silenced Gachnar Donalde, but he knows the truth, and will not be thwarted!

    Why are now both Brendan Keefe and the freaks at Lawyers, Guns and Murder attempting to cover up any mention of [Target]‘s real identity? Well, no doubt these f**king sleazebags want to keep the real name of the failed New York actor out of the limelight, lest the full outing spoil their devilish fun. Either way, the lulz are precious!!

  518. Donald Douglas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:08

    BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

    You fuckers are da best!!

    Saved by Blogger!! Carl Salonen’s ID will stay hidden for another day!!

  519. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:10

    Looks like Donalde’s gotten into the spray paint again/
    ~

  520. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:13

    BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

    Bingo.

  521. Chris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:13

    So, you have no frame of reference here, Donny.

  522. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:15

    #

    Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:13 (kill)

    BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

    Bingo.

    Have you no shame, sir? At long last, have you no shame.

    Oh wait…

  523. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:21

    Either way, the lulz are precious!!

    yes Donalde, yes they are.

  524. Slim Charles said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:23

    Nicotine was way harder for me to quit than alcohol or weed. This helped.

  525. TrishMifflin said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:23

    You know … Amy Alkon is loathsome enough. You don’t need to keep implying she’s a transvestite or transsexual.

    As a transgendered person (MtF), we get enough hate already from people on the right. We don’t need to get hated on by progressives, too.

    (Ironically, we haven’t gotten this kind of hate from Amy Alkon, who has defended trans rights in her books and columns.)

    Are you trying to say she’s ugly? Then just say it. (I don’t think she’s ugly, but some of her opinions are.)

    Anyway, slurring TG people by calling Amy Alkon transgendered is essentially transphobia.

    Or, in other words … calling Amy Alkon a transsexual is an insult to transsexuals. (rimshot) Hey, thanks, I’ll be here all week, try the veal.

  526. jim said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:25

    Sometimes, junk mail can be a thing of beauty.

    This jewel of pure herpderpite came to me this morning c/o The American Spectator:

    Fellow Patriot,

    He’s a blunt new voice that’s hitting our conservative establishment with the force of a wrecking ball.

    The guy fascinates all of us, but let’s face it: he also raises a lot of questions.

    I’ll ask Donald Trump those questions, 1-on-1, live, for a solid hour. Is this all just posturing? Is he running — or not? Let’s get answers. Who’s the real guy behind the money, flash and fast talk?

    Join us. I promise you this won’t be interviews as usual. From the minute we kick off at 11AM Eastern, Tuesday May 17, this will be what everyone’s talking about. Be there.

    Best of all, it’s FREE. Reserve your spot now!

    Sincerely,

    Erick Erickson
    Editor, RedState.com

    I CAME.

    (the last sentence is a link back to somewhere deep in the duodenum of Teh Merkin Spectaculator, but no fucking WAY am I going to sully our precious thread with it – you nice kids are just going to have to devolve your own tentacles &/or hairy palms, catch-as-catch-can)

    I suspect Herr Trump’s balls are feeling a mite wrecked indeed since those halcyon days of glory a whole two weeks ago – good to know Erick Son Of Ditto will be on hand to give them the soothing oral Jacuzzi they so plainly need in this dark hour.

  527. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:25

    Bingo

    fucking iPhone won’t take me there nor even get to the comments. Little help?

  528. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:27

    Nicotine was way harder for me to quit than alcohol or weed.

    Related.

  529. St. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:27

    Saved by Blogger!! Carl Salonen’s ID will stay hidden for another day!!

    Um, yes, I suppose it will.

    Two words: Tintin Isreal!*

    *Yes, I know someone posted this back a while ago. The credit is all yours sir or madam, but I do believe it bears repeating. I welcome your ahem.

    And, Le Donalde: a hint. There are many jokes shared here; most, if not all, are such that you do not get them. Nor ever will. Of the few jokes we let you in on, most are about you and directed at you. Enjoy.

  530. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:29

    Trish – search the thread for “trans” for explication. Maybe the previous thred too, I don’t remember exactly.

  531. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:32

    Pupienus ,

    Malaclypse says:
    May 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Whatever will Donalde say?

    I propose a new internet tradition: Donalde Douglass Bingo.

    Whatever he says, I predict it will contain at least three of the following:

    Fuckers
    Bwahahaha!!
    Depravity
    Monster
    Anti-semite
    Che
    Communist

    ~

  532. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:34

    fucking iPhone won’t take me there nor even get to the comments. Little help?

    Malaclypse says:
    May 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Whatever will Donalde say?

    I propose a new internet tradition: Donalde Douglass Bingo.

    Whatever he says, I predict it will contain at least three of the following:

    Fuckers
    Bwahahaha!!
    Depravity
    Monster
    Anti-semite
    Che
    Communist

    You know … Amy Alkon is loathsome enough. You don’t need to keep implying she’s a transvestite or transsexual.

    As I said above, I’m with Trish on this. It does not matter why we started calling Amy a transsexual. What matters is that we act as though it is an insult.

  533. Marion in Savannah said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:35

    tsam, hang in there. I quit about 15 years ago, and not smelling like an ashtray is nice. It’s a bitch, but it does get easier after the first couple of weeks. Until then, snap and snarl as necessary.

  534. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:37

    That [target] has never tried very hard to conceal his TRUE LIFE IDENTITY, that any moron with more than a handful of functional neurons could have pegged* him, that Donalde just doesn’t fucking get it, hasn’t figured it out despite the ample clues and that he keeps shouting “look I made a poopie!” and continues to smear said poopies all over his face has filled me with great joy.

  535. TrishMifflin said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:37

    Pupienus: Oh, I’ve been lurking here for years, and I often find S,N! to be pretty damned hilarious, so I understand the background, but it just keeps grating on me.

    Transsexuals and transgendered people are the last group we can still openly mock, I guess. Well, and people from West Virginia. (Hey … West Virginia trannies? Teh funny! Amirite?)

  536. Johnny Pez said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:37

    Trish – search the thread for “trans” for explication. Maybe the previous thred too, I don’t remember exactly.

    Not only was it was this very thread, it was the Target himself.

  537. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:40

    Or, in other words … calling Amy Alkon a transsexual is an insult to transsexuals.

    Absolutely, Trish, but the context, I think, allowed a pass on the original iteration. And in hindsight – given that much of the comedy of Alkon rests on what she thinks she is sure of – I think it’s even better. So long live the trans community and all who sail on her and forgive us our trespasses in this one instance.

  538. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:40

    Oh god, here we fucking go

    No comment as to the veracity of this headline, but this all has a very familiar ring to it.

    Next: Book of witchcraftery and other pagan business that scares the shit out of whitey.

  539. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:41

    And from that old thread I’d forgotten about this:

    http://thumbsnap.com/DD4cql02

  540. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:41

    (Hey … West Virginia trannies? Teh funny! Amirite?)

    Them trans-folks in West Virginia spooky as shit.

  541. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:42

    I’m hoping Tintin is not too stubborn to retire the Amy/Arnold move. People would interpret the retirement in various ways, but that’s life, and on the whole it’d be for the best. The lost comedic possibilities don’t justify continuance, IMO, but maybe I lack the imagination and skill to walk this tightrope for paltry gains.

  542. Johnny Pez said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:43

    Extensive Porn ‘Stache Found In Bin Laden Compound

    Man, that Tommy Friedman really gets around, doesn’t he?

  543. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:43

    Words without context are troublesome things. I have been reading it as Arnold being her drag name, no trans context at all. But maybe that’s just me. I do understand, a punk can’t make “that’s so gay” inoffensive by claiming since he didnt _mean_ to offend therrefore it isn’t offensive.

    Context is everything.

  544. jim said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:45

    I feel kind of weirdly guilty … my blog that nobody gives much of a schnizzit about … that I really only got going in order to have a nifty icon to go with my Blogger comments … is … perfectly fine.

    Viva Obscurity!

  545. CARL ALLAN SALONEN said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:48

    Oh, please, more lulz!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Scotty Lame-ieux flushing CARL ALLAN SALONEN down the memory hole!! Precious!!!!!!!

    And Blogger saved Malaclypse, at least for now, AHAHAHAHHAAHHA!!

    BINGOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

    Blogger Outage Sucks Carl Salonen Exposé Down the Memory Hole!.

  546. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:51

    is … perfectly fine

    If you discount the godawful color scheme – it’s unreadable on my iPhone.

  547. jim said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:53

    I propose a new internet tradition: Donalde Douglass Bingo.

    Oh, I say old chap, that’s not terribly sporting.
    Seems rather a lot like shooting bloody fish in a barrel, eh wot?

    *peels off lid, pulls out new box of shells*

  548. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:54

    CARL ALLAN SALONEN said,

    Least convincing nym-jack ever, and around here, that is saying something.

    And Blogger saved Malaclypse,

    I tremble before your Machiavellian elan, and your abhorrence of irrationalism in argument.

    “Who’s a little fear demon? C’mon, who’s a lit-tle fear demon?”

  549. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:55

    That word ‘expose’. It does not mean what you think it means. But thanks for the continuing LULZ. Here, have FreshWipes.

  550. Lawnguylander said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:55

    Oh god, here we fucking go.

    I have no trouble believing he had a massive porn collection. If reports come out that he had a child porn collection then I’d be suspicious that they’re just trying to fuck with his image post-death. Oh wait, religious fundamentalist asshole, no I wouldn’t. Why won’t the White House release the double wetsuits and dildo that they found him in?

  551. St. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:56

    Oh, please, more lulz!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You’re gonna break that “!” key. Just sayin’.

    I have never seen a self-immolation in real time — just read about them after the fact. It does, I have to say, get a bit acrid but the visuals are pretty damn good.

  552. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:56

    Transsexuals and transgendered people are the last group we can still openly mock, I guess

    No, they’re not. You’re right. Please do take us at our word when we say we don’t mean to denigrate any group of people besides those who are wilfully ignorant or just plain assholes.

  553. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:57

    CARL ALLAN SALONEN said,

    Least convincing nym-jack ever.

    And Blogger saved Malaclypse,

    I temble with fear and anticipation before your Machiavellian elan, Gachnar, err, Donalde.

  554. Muslim Lurker said,

    May 13, 2011 at 19:58

    Transsexuals and transgendered people are the last group we can still openly mock, I guess.

    COUGH.

  555. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:00

    I have no trouble believing he had a massive porn collection. If reports come out that he had a child porn collection then I’d be suspicious that they’re just trying to fuck with his image post-death. Oh wait, religious fundamentalist asshole, no I wouldn’t. Why won’t the White House release the double wetsuits and dildo that they found him in?

    I have no trouble believing it either. The more religious, the less surprising it is. My problem is 1) “SEE LIBS, STILL THINK PORN IS HARMLESS????, and 2) Bin Laden likes porn, liberals like porn, therefore liberals is bin laden.

    We’ll be reading about one of them within a day or two here on S,N!.

  556. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:01

    “…dildo that they found him in?”

    I thought they found him in a walled compound. The story keeps changing!

  557. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:03

    Wingnuts are predictable, if nothing else.

  558. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:03

    Muslim Lurker meant Englishmen.

  559. mako rojo (and sometimes not a blogger) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:03

    Did anyone have their May 12th posts restored?

  560. tsam, who is slipping you a Ruppie right now said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:05

    WAIT JUST A FUCKING MINUTE

    CaRl sAlonen.

    I found you.

  561. exford legs said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:09

    Blogger Outage Sucks Carl Salonen Exposé Down the Memory Hole!.

    Though it said ‘Defining Tranny Down’ over there.

  562. CRA said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:09

    Um, I gotta eat lunch and run an errand that has nothing to do with getting my story straight.

  563. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:13

    Extensive Porn ‘Stache Found In Bin Laden Compound

    they found John Stossel?

  564. Steerpike said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:16

    FWIW, my $0.02 worth on the TG ish: This is Sadly, No!, not Shakespeare’s Sis. Comments over there are like tapdancing in a minefield. One wrong witticism, and the mods are on you like Fail on Palin. You’ll be ever-so-gently-but-oh-so-sanctimoniously reminded that they will not tolerate anything that smacks of ageism, or looksism, or homophobia, or racism, or anti-semitism, or sexism, or stereotypes about any gender, species, nationality, occupation, preoccupation, predilection, sexual preference, eye color or academic discipline.

    Also, too, tapdancing in the minefield…

    Here at S,N! Industries, much like another fave, The Rude Pundit, we pride ourselves in in true, glorious political incorrectness. Not the kind of rants about “PC” that conservatards are so prone to, meaning “I should be able to say ‘nigger’ if I wanna”, but a true, reckless pursuit of snark, which could potentially offend everyone, but should absolutely not offend anyone.

  565. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:21

    Transsexuals and transgendered people are the last group we can still openly mock, I guess. Well, and people from West Virginia.

    Lemme tell ya how zombies are treated around here….

  566. N__B said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:32

    Lemme tell ya how zombies are treated around here….

    The woodchipper counts as “treatment?”

  567. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:33

    1) “SEE LIBS, STILL THINK PORN IS HARMLESS????, and 2) Bin Laden likes porn, liberals like porn, therefore liberals is bin laden.

    You know you just gave Jonah the subject for his next book, right? Sharia Pornism: The Politics of Terrorists Who Look at Dirty Pictures from Carlos the Jackal to Osama bin Laden

  568. Shakesville said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:33

    We do not appreciate slurs against Undead-Americans. Surely we can all have fun without being intolerant of the shambling-challenged…

  569. Arnold Alkon's Picture At The Top said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:33

    It only looks like I was ridden hard & put away wet. The real problem is that drug abuse causes puffiness & unsightly lines, as my dear friend Rush always tells me.

  570. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:34

    Huh. That one went through, but I had two posts eaten in a row this afternoon without so much as a by-your-leave. Is there a magic character sequence that WP reliably blocks?

  571. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:35

    I know I’ve only been posting regularly for a little bit, but I’ve been lurking for years. I understood the context of the Arnold thing but it still rubs me the wrong way to keep using it like this. I don’t want this place to turn into Shakesville (Grodd forbid) but I think it would be for the best to retire this particular meme. Just my opinion, etc etc.

    I also am seeing Thor today. He is standing beneath a sky of unruly Huge Squirrels.

    Interestingly enough, Norse mythology does have a “sky-squirrel”. Ratatoskr is a squirrel who runs up and down Yggdrasil (the tree that holds up the nine worlds), delivering insults between the eagle that sits atop the tree, and the dragon Níðhöggr, who gnaws at its roots.

    Okay, maybe that depends on your definition of “interesting”.

  572. Butch Pansy said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:44

    How soon til OBL’s porn stash becomes his GAY porn stash? Kiddie porn is for Catholics, amiright?

  573. repsac3 (BWAAAAAHAHA doesn't suck or blow... Not smoke, anyway.) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:48

    “Solidarity! I decided to leverage my smoke-free week in the hospital to quit smoking. I figured that was past the worst of the physical addiction, and I was so drugged up I scarely noticed it.”

    Food poisoning was my “lucky” mojo… First time in 20 years I was literally too sick to smoke (just thinkin’ ’bout it had me expelling from one or another orifice.) Where the food poisoning ended and the withdrawal began, I couldn’t rightly say, but that was 11 years ago (this month, if I remember correctly…)

    Hang in there, tsam, and Jennifer, and Fenwick, and anyone else kicking that monkey in the balls… All roads lead home, if you’re headed in the right direction.

    Carl Arnold Donalde is/are rootin’ for y’all, too… S/he told me, they did…

  574. Hogeye Grex said,

    May 13, 2011 at 20:53

    “Was anyone else actually pleasantly surprised to see Democratic senators actually calling those oil cartel CEO’s out on their claim that making them pay some taxes like a small business or ordinary citizen is unamerican?”

    Sure, but the execs telling Senators to go pound sand rather than apologize was disheartening though not unexpected.

    Re: smoking, when I quit a few years back, among the hardest things to lose was the reflex of my hand going to my shirt pocket. After three decades or so, it had become an automatic response to almost anything. I have since started carrying my ipod there, so at least I can pretend I have a reason to be groping at myself. Substitutes are important when quitting.

  575. Ratatosk said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:01

    ALL UR INSULTS R BELONG 2 ME!!!

  576. repsac3 (BWAAAAAHAHA = AHAHAAAAAWB) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:05

    “Nitnit is Tintin!”

    I believe that’s supposed to be phrased like this:
    REPSAC = CASPER: (nihilist, communist, bwaaahaha) (a TehDonalde AmPow joint)

    Don’t forget to use ALL CAPS. (Bolding, excess exclamation points!!!!!, or other embellishments optional.)

    (nitnit’s is way cooler’n mine… tho mine’s more accurate… – casper)

  577. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:08

    So, how was Thor? Were there a lot of butthurt conservatives in the theater? They seem to have a real unhealthy emotional attachment to this project,

  578. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:13

    They seem to have a real unhealthy emotional attachment to this project,

    You’re just saying that because of their totally rational, not-at-all-racist-really-it’s-a-matter-of-historical-accuracy overreaction to the fact that one of the Norse gods from the comic book was played by a black dude.

    Anybody could have had that reaction, really.

  579. Níðhöggr said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:13

    Ratatosk, tell that bald sumbitch his Mamma looks like an Alkon.

  580. El Manquécito said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:14

    Absolutely, Trish, but the context, I think, allowed a pass on the original iteration. And in hindsight – given that much of the comedy of Alkon rests on what she thinks she is sure of – I think it’s even better. So long live the trans community and all who sail on her and forgive us our trespasses in this one instance.

    SubMcG speaks for me JUST THIS ONCE.

  581. repsac3 (BWAAAAAHAHA is sorry about yesterday's lost Blogger posts.) said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:16

    “Who broke Blogger?”

    “Saved by Blogger!! Carl Salonen’s ID will stay hidden for another day!!”

    Clearly, it was CarlTin “Che-ssain” SaloTin… tHEy is/are EVERYWHERE…

  582. tsam, who would never put a zombie in the chipper said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:16

    You know you just gave Jonah the subject for his next book, right? Sharia Pornism: The Politics of Terrorists Who Look at Dirty Pictures from Carlos the Jackal to Osama bin Laden…

    …To Obama bin Golfin

    If Jonah takes up this crusade, I will sue the fat right off his ass and make my own fat island in the South Pacific. Ya HEARD, JONASS?

  583. tsam, who would never put a zombie in the chipper said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:18

    You’re just saying that because of their totally rational, not-at-all-racist-really-it’s-a-matter-of-historical-accuracy overreaction to the fact that one of the Norse gods from the comic book was played by a black dude.

    hm. I guess when you shovel shit for a living, it benefits nobody to change up the shit you be shoveling every now and then, does it?

    Historically, there WERE NO BLACK PEOPLE STUPID LIBS.

  584. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:19

    They seem to have a real unhealthy emotional attachment to this project,

    Heh. So different from everything else.
    ~

  585. Whale Chowder said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:20

    Lemme tell ya how zombies are treated around here….

    We chop they haid off, yes we does.

  586. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:22

    You’re just saying that because of their totally rational, not-at-all-racist-really-it’s-a-matter-of-historical-accuracy overreaction to the fact that one of the Norse gods from the comic book was played by a black dude.

    It’s not just that, they are also obessed with the portray of “manly” heroism, even though the Þrymskviða portrays Thor as a cross-dresser.

  587. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:23

    Ratatosk, tell that bald sumbitch his Mamma looks like an Alkon.

    Them’s fightin’ words, dragon!

  588. tigris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:26

    Why won’t the White House release the double wetsuits and dildo that they found him in?/in him

    Also: breaking the “!” key.

    how was Thor? Were there a lot of butthurt conservatives

    Also too: not making the obvious joke.

  589. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:33

    Ratatoskr is a squirrel who runs up and down Yggdrasil (the tree that holds up the nine worlds), delivering insults between the eagle that sits atop the tree, and the dragon Níðhöggr, who gnaws at its roots.

    Ratatoskr is also the squirrel in this fine tale.

    You’re ugly’ he says ‘you’re hairy and you’re covered in shit, but you’re mine and I love you!

    Reminds me of our own Donalde, that tale does.

  590. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:34

    Maybe the ObL pr0n was for the wives.

  591. tigris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:35

    Bin Laden likes porn, liberals like porn, therefore liberals is bin laden.
    Or maybe all religious conservatives like porn

  592. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:39

    Or maybe all religious conservatives like porn

    Maybe they’re too dumb to find free porn. File sharing is socialism!!!

  593. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:41

    I have to say the porn sounds like the red silk pajamas effect. Not a wise tidbit to release I think.

  594. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:43

    re: Osama pr0n

    Maybe related?

  595. bbkf said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:45

    Though it said ‘Defining Tranny Down’ over there.

    me too…I also thought bin ladin had a “pom” collection…

  596. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:45

    I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again- has anyone photoshopped a Rickroll into the “Osama watching TeeVee” picture?

  597. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 13, 2011 at 21:48

    make my own fat island in the South Pacific

    while simultaneously making and entire ocean of whales feel better about their weight.

  598. low sodium hunchback said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:00

    Or the couriers. Driving back to Islamabad……

    Hey, where’s the thumb drive?

    I got it here.

    No not that one. The OTHER one.

    You have it.

    No, I gave it to you.

    Not to me.

    Oh shit.

    If he finds that, he’ll have our hands cut off.

    More likely our dicks.

    Wait. I have a plan. Lemme make a phone call.

  599. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:08

    Hi back atcha, you low-sodium genius.

  600. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:11

    Blooger has restored my one lost post.

    But not the comments (yet, he typed hopefully).
    ~

  601. bbkf said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:14

    I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again- has anyone photoshopped a Rickroll into the “Osama watching TeeVee” picture?

    if i had teh skillz i would gladly do so…

  602. low-sodium genius. Fenwick said so!!! said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:21

    Wayyyyyyyyyyy too kind there, Fenwick.

    Glad you’re on the mend though.

  603. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:34

    It is a bit odd that Heimdallr was portrayed by a black man. He’s described in the Eddas as the “whitest of the gods”. He was also the father of the three classes of Norse society.

    That said, Idris Elba is a great actor (as any fans of The Wire would know) and did a good job with the role. Not to mention the fact that Marvel’s version of Thor has little to do with the mythology. Heimdall/r’s race is the least of the changes.

  604. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:36

    It is a bit odd that Heimdallr was portrayed by a black man.

    I heard that made the Stormfront crown pretty annoyed. Seems they are a bit possessive about Norse stuff. Go figure.

  605. Chris said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:40

    It is a bit odd that Heimdallr was portrayed by a black man. He’s described in the Eddas as the “whitest of the gods”. He was also the father of the three classes of Norse society.

    Did not know that, thanks. (Was more into Greek than Norse mythology, but I know the basics).

    That said, Idris Elba is a great actor (as any fans of The Wire would know) and did a good job with the role. Not to mention the fact that Marvel’s version of Thor has little to do with the mythology. Heimdall/r’s race is the least of the changes.

    That, and the obvious counter-argument that many of the movie’s fans have made – white people have played nonwhite people (exhibit A: Jesus Christ) in dozens of movies before, so it’d be ridiculous if it couldn’t be done in reverse.

    Also too, good superhero movie.

  606. tsam, who would never put a zombie in the chipper said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:42

    Seems they are a bit possessive about Norse stuff

    Norse PENIS is worth protecting.

  607. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:46

    Frankly, I was more annoyed that they made Sif a brunette.

    Her hair was literally made out of gold. That’s her defining feature. What the Hel, people?

  608. CARL ALLAN SALONEN said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:48

    Well, the luck’s run out for Malaclypse!

    Blogger posts are restored: ‘Malaclypse, Lawyers, Guns and Money Troll, Confirms Identity of Tintin at Sadly No! — Carl Salonen, the ‘Young & Hung’ Trademark Holder, Wow!’

  609. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:54

    Damn, Donalde.

    I’m being serious here…maybe you should get some help with your issues?
    ~

  610. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:55

    I visited the post. I think he deserves an E for Effort and this is now Donaldee Douglas.

  611. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:55

    “Thus”.

  612. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 22:57

    I hear there is no Dukedom of Earl, either! Fucking nobility, how does it work?

    There will, however be a Duchy of Grand Fenwick eventually. I have promised a blog to the Big Bald genius–neither bad or bastard–and to all of the Sadlies. I am a man of my word.

    ACTOR !!!!!!!

    Exford: I’m fine. Meet with my primary-care doc at the VA clinic yesterday. We iniitiated the transfer of the Johns Hopkins tests to the VA system. (However, been putting on some weight after I stopped smoking.)

    I’m working the gum hard. For thirty days, I avoided coffee–a huge psychological trigger for me–and changed my shopping habits to avoid temptation or opportunity; I no longer shop at the store where I used to buy my cigarettes.

    Of course, I continue to smoke the sweet smoke. It is part of my self-medication for depression. If was legal in Maryland, I have little doubt that I could obtain a completely genuine scrip for medical marijuana.

    This was probably way too windy a Comment. Mainly I want to express Solidarity with the Sadlies who are quitting.

    Still way behind on the thread, but I’m closing in on getting caught up.

  613. Thread Bear said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:06

    Ratatoskr is also one of the squirrels in Amy Alkon’s head.

  614. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:07

    Wow. Indeed.

    Keep fuching that ferret, Donaldee.

  615. Malaclypse said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:08

    Well, the luck’s run out for Malaclypse!

    Um, yes. I am deeply, deeply concerned.

  616. Tintin said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:12

    @TrishMuffin. Since I started the Amy/Arnold Alkon thing, I have, throughout, accused her of being a drag queen, and not a transsexual. Amy has attempted to up her victim points by wilfully refusing to acknowledge this which is meant really as a slight at her wardrobe more than anything else. She dresses like the tired old drag queens I’ve seen in too many tired gay bars lip-syncing to tired disco anthems. In particular, she looks almost exactly like, and dresses almost exactly like, LA performer Lypsynka. go here for photos and see if you don’t see a similarity.

  617. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:13

    yeah, the intertubas have been deprived of Donaldee’s hilariously wrong deductions for over a day now.

    Meanwhile, Sadly, No kept right on going. UN-AMERICAN!!

  618. Fenwick said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:22

    On the antihistimine discussion: Anyone remember Dristan? That was some kick-ass, dry-your-sinuses-to-desert-aridity stuff. I have a few fairly mild seasonal allergies to some weeds (Rag-weed is a nasty, tho). Fuckin’ Dristan totally got me through the European journey. (All I carried was Excedrin and Dristan; always in a metal pillbox in my pocket.)

    Thread need moar food pr0n. Looking at Pup and the other culinary geniuses. You know who you are.

    Also thread needs moar poetry, limericks, and haiku. High-brow quality rhyme, of course, in accordance with our literary traditions and fine standards at Sadly, No!. (You poetry geniuses also know who you are, too….)

    Back soon. Almost caught up.

    literary

  619. low-sodium genius. Fenwick said so!!! said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:28

    Not conductor and composer

    Esa-Pekka Salonen ………. ?

    That woulda been so cool.

  620. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:29

    Meanwhile, Sadly, No kept right on going. UN-AMERICAN!!

    See, this is because what really happened is Obama and the rest of Islamo-fascists who control everything were doing a test run of their ‘internet kill switch’.

    Of course they weren’t going to shut down a Sharia site like Sadly, No!
    ~

  621. St. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:36

    Well, the luck’s run out for Malaclypse!

    I read it. Or tried to. Them there are some pretty tenuous (read:non-existent) connections leading to a conclusion that ultimately going to be found to be quite hilarious. “Target,” Tintin: Soon. Please.

    And yes, professional intervention needed.

    As in a Fire Suppression Team.

  622. Low Sodium tsam said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:37

    As previously stated, All. One. Guy.

  623. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:47

    Of course they weren’t going to shut down a Sharia site like Sadly, No!

    Sadly, No! is the keystone. Once it changes to Sadly, YES!, real Americans will be fucked.

  624. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:48

    Looking at Pup and the other culinary geniuses

    See my noodle and cheeze recipe above. It does not disappoint.***

    **Not intended to be a factual statement

  625. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:49

    fucking broke already? Buncha chumps.

  626. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:49

    I’m gonna stretch this bitch out to 1000

    Watch me now, hey!

  627. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:50

    Nah. I’m here.

    You’ve lost your touch.

  628. Looch said,

    May 13, 2011 at 23:55

    As previously stated, All. One. Guy.

    Yah.

    I just want to have some fun. And some people just bring it on themselves. Especially douchebags that try to out folks for revenge.

    Hulk SMASH!

  629. vacuumslayer said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:03

    See my noodle and cheeze recipe above

    I’m not gonna lie. The idea of setting peepers on this “recipe” frightens me a little bit.

  630. low-sodium genius. Fenwick said so!!! said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:04

    Caldonia!
    Caldonia!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd0tUHHjCMU

  631. exford legs said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:06

    Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

    Luke: He told me you killed him!

    Vader: NAH. ME AND ANAKIN IZ: ALL.ONE. GUY. LOL.

    Luke: No! That’s impossilbe!

    Vader: SRSLY Join me dude. We can TOTES rulez TEH GALAXY! AMIRITE????

  632. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:16

    The idea of setting peepers on this “recipe” frightens me a little bit.

    You know how to cook. This SHOULD frighten you immensely. Reading the instructions may cause dry heaves or even wet heaves.

    I do not know how to cook. I could disgust you for days with some of the things I’ve “invented” in my apartment kitchen area.

    I still have a perfect record. No known fatalities from my food atrocities.

  633. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:20

    TinTin: Thanks for background on the origin of the Alkon meme in Sadlyland.

    I’m sort of ambivalent. I understand why Sub wants to make Alkon an exception to Sadly courtesy.

    But Trish and Mal make a lot of sense to me. People need to be who they are on the inside, and valued for that. Includes transvestite; includes trans-gender. It’s like valuing bbfk’s special-needs child. Like valuing any human. But I’m an old-school DFH, so what do I know?

  634. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:21

    See also: Drinks invented by tsam. IF YOU DARE.

  635. gocart mozart said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:21

    This is awesome but I suspect crazy eyes Shelly is a’scared to accept.
    http://minnesotaindependent.com/81476/high-schooler-challenges-bachmann-to-debate-on-u-s-constitution
    Dear Representative Bachmann,

    My name is Amy Myers. I am a Cherry Hill, New Jersey sophomore attending Cherry Hill High School East. As a typical high school student, I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted. The frequency and scope of these comments prompted me to write this letter.
    . . .
    Rep. Bachmann, the frequent inability you have shown to accurately and factually present even the most basic information about the United States led me to submit the follow challenge, pitting my public education against your advanced legal education:

    I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.

    Hopefully, we will be able to meet for such an event, as it would prove to be enlightening.

    Sincerely yours,
    Amy Myers

  636. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:24

    But Trish and Mal make a lot of sense to me.

    It’s not an unreasonable position.

  637. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:25

    Or I could say “It’s a reasonable position” but I just got a new shipment of syllables and THEY MUST BE USED.

  638. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:29

    Hey–I don’t think anyone here values trans-gendered or even drag queens any less than any other human being. It’s well known that some posters here are gay, and we all make gay jokes while piling on a dumbass wingnut. When a homophobe shows up here, what sort of joke does he get bashed with most often?

    It has to be understood that there are no prejudices here. Childish and silly as it may be, we use these things to be what we consider to be funny and push buttons. Look at the reaction we got out of Donalde.

    Nobody here is picking on trans-gendered people. That intent is entirely absent from (at least) the regulars here. Anyone except wingnuts are always welcome here as far as I’m concerned.

  639. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:29

    high in sodium and carbs

    Actually me too. And not hunched.
    There. I admit it.

    I feel much better.

    I am not Gary Ruppert though.

  640. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:31

    Amy Myers

    Representative Amy Myers. Hmmm-that has a nice ring to it, don’t you all think?

    YOU GO GIRL–GET THAT CRAZY HO!

  641. tsam is high in sodium and carbs too so eat me and like it said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:32

    I am not Gary Ruppert though.

    Or am I…..?

  642. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:35

    I seldom follow links to the reichwing (and never ever leave the boat). So I’ve only been following the TinTin Double-Secret Mystery Identity thing via the thread. (A short summary of the backstory would be helpful, if someone can spare the time.)

    Also, Donalde is new to me; I should have been paying more attention. I gather the Sadlyland verdict is that Donalde ISRAEL, so I need to go back and study this particular specimen more carefully. I’m trying to build a Fake Troll portfolio. Back soon.

  643. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:37

    low-sodium genius. Fenwick said so!!! said,

    Caldonia!
    Caldonia!

    Muddy and Pinetop are awesome of course, but Portnoy (harp), not so much. I prefer Little Walter or Sonny Boy any day. Not that Portnoy isn’t skilled, it’s just… lacking something.

  644. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:43

    While this comment is intended for everyone, it most especially for tsam, Fenwick and vs.

    I may have shared that “recipe” here before. It’s my riff on a Jacques fucking Pepin thing so … I like to use bow tie noodles. Diced Swiss cheese, some of the pasta water, a little bit of salt (cheese is salty, be careful), pepper and a we’e bit of freshly grated nutmeg. Try putting a fried egg (sunny side up, over easy if you absolutely must) on top.

    Obscure fact: when JP came to the US after serving as Prsonal chef to three French heads of state (including Charles de Gaulle) he worked as executive chef for Howard Johnson. The clam chowder at the HoJo’s really was quite good.

  645. Whale Chowder said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:48

    Fenwick, look here for the backstory on SASQUATCH ISREAL. It will give you quite the eye-opener on Le Donaldee.

  646. gocart mozart said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:48

    For the newbies, from the Sadly archives, here is where Sasquatch Isreal comes from. Clue, it is not the Middle East.
    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/33231.html

  647. gocart mozart said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:49

    or what Whale chowder said . . . Damn You!

  648. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:52

    Not hunchbacked? What of your posture: do you at least look hunched? And what connection is there between sodium intake and hunchbackism, real or avowed?…

    I have to admit, Amy Alkon does look like Lypsinka (fun website, girl!).

    If anyone wants to mock my appearance, I have been compared to Ewan McGregor (a fanciful opinion) or Kenneth Branagh (closer to the mark).

  649. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:52

    “Douglas isreal site:sadlyno.com”.

    Note the spelling of “ISREAL”

    Also, “alkonetics site:sadlyno.com”

    Quick rundown without spoiling it too much by giving too much away (though it seems hitting Donaldee over the head with it isn’t enough to give it away), Arnold Alkon correctly identified a sadlynaut (who was trying very hard to hide) and now Donaldee has incorrectly deduced that said sadly is Tintin. He’s crowing about it all over the place – as I said above, he keeps smearing the poopie of which production he is so proud all over his e-face.

  650. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:53

    Cthulhu has already damned W.C., no need to pile my good chaps.
    ~

  651. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:54

    It has to be understood that there are no prejudices here.

    I have an unreasonable hatred of Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Oyel, Oyel, Oyel.

  652. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:54

    Lypsinka is vastly more talented than Arnold. I have usually enjoyed Lypsinka’s performances.

  653. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:55

    Argh! NOT trying very hard…

  654. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:56

    I was gonna say, I inadvertently knew what his name was. How much sleuthing could it have taken?

  655. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 0:57

    Sleuthing the name.

  656. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:00

    You’re not grading on a curve, S. McG.

    H8er!
    ~

  657. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:01

    CONSPIRACIES EVERYWHERE!

  658. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:02

    It has to be understood that there are no prejudices here.

    Not true. I hate the Irish. Particularly the small part of myself that’s Irish.

    I personally blame that for my unfortunate killing spree last fall. It wasn’t my fault; it was my degenerate, drunken, potato-eating ancestors’.

  659. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:03

    I may have shared that “recipe” here before

    Actually, my recipe came from some stupid fat bitch right winger in Arkansas…? that was kicking the downed poor by offering extremely condescending suggestions for how to improve their lives the way all wingnuts did before they inherited/stole/swindled away their vast wealth.

    I don’t remember too many details, but this lady was a fucking condescending snatch.

  660. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:04

    You, PM, gave me a fucking masterful bean soup recipe, which I use to this day as one of the things I feed my vegetarian daughter.

    I bought kosher salt because of you, and now don’t use regular iodized table salt.

  661. Whale Chowder said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:04

    BWAHAHAHA, sadly losers! My Fast Fingers of H8 will soon control you all!

  662. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:06

    I personally blame that for my unfortunate killing spree last fall. It wasn’t my fault; it was my degenerate, drunken, potato-eating ancestors’.

    This kinda goes without saying. Everyone hates the Irish, especially the Irish. For good reason, too. I grow tired of their insistence that being Irish is something to be all proud about.

  663. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:07

    HAHA–I love watching little racecar driver bitches try to fight.

    Found another prejudice. Rednecks.

  664. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:09

    Oregon Blues Snob!!!

    I dunno, good enough for Muddy is good enough for me. It’s probably a little difficult being compared to two guys that pretty much defined the thing.

  665. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:11

    Let me just say that Alkon is bogarting my irrational lust for redheads.

  666. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:17

    Argh! NOT trying very hard…

    Yeah. The sleuthing could have concluded at Tintin’s Carl’s web site.

    Other than that, Gazoogle, first and second pages of results.

    Deeeeeeep cover, says I.

  667. Spearhafoc, who has morphed into a sexist, objectifying pig said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:19

    I grow tired of their insistence that being Irish is something to be all proud about.

    To be fair, they did produce Katie McGrath. That’s something any country would be proud to have on its resume.

    I now declare this “the official Speahafoc posts pictures of women he finds attractive thread”.

    Let me just say that Alkon is bogarting my irrational lust for redheads.

    Me too, which has to be the crime of the century as far as I’m concerned.

  668. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:21

    what connection is there between sodium intake and hunchbackism, real or avowed?

    I don’t remember. (and sorry for bringing it up again…true nym confessions was so last thread)

    I used to change my name regularly based (more or less) on the thread topic. Subs or somebody made a crack about a hunchback ringing the bell for dinner ala Marty Feldman I think..
    so I did that for while…it got old pretty quickly..
    . low sodium I don’t recall why and it sure ain’t worth hunting for.

  669. Spearhafoc, who knows next to nothing about the historical figure from whom he took his screen name said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:22

    Speahafoc

    Nice one, me.

  670. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:24

    Was it Althouse who previously accused google of downgrading her rankings (oooh, great word for her output)?

  671. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:25

    “Let me just say that Alkon is bogarting my irrational lust for redheads.”

    She’s sucking on it too long, more than the others are? She’s letting it dangle from her lip while talking?… Sorry, N_B, and I hear ya.

    (This makes at least twice today that I’ve tried to make the lemons of my innate pedantry into a more tolerable humorade.)

  672. vs said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:29

    *note to self*: Do not light things around tsam’s “special drinks”

  673. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:30

    Well, Hunchback, your name made me think of Young Frankenstein from the first time I saw it, so it doesn’t need an origin story as far as I’m concerned.

  674. vs said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:32

    “I bought kosher salt because of you, and now don’t use regular iodized table salt.”

    Oh, totally. I am such a kosher fan now.

  675. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:33

    Update from Le Donaldee. _Someone_ commented in the post subsequent to the “expose”

    Peter said…
    Oh Donalde, please don’t drop the expose gig. We need the LULZ.

    May 13, 2011 1:00 PM

    Donald Douglas said…
    Peter: Who said I’m gonna stop? Tintin is Carl Salonen, which is why my comments are being deleted right and left, at Brendan’s and LGM, etc.

    May 13, 2011 1:19 PM

    Fixated, he is.

  676. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:36

    Sounds like someone ripe for being sold an expensive hobby.
    .

  677. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:37

    Well, the luck’s run out for Malaclypse!

    Just wondering – can anybody relatively sane figure out what Donnie thinks he has over me? I keep telling him that not only am I not into long distance relationships, and he’s not my type, plus I actually like my wife, and yet the dude is just obsessed. I’m not even sure what all this even had to do with me. Am I the Target, or Tintin, without anybody telling me? Is this like that episode of Doctor Who where the Doctor needs to forget he is a Time Lord? Because while that would make Donalde the least interesting adversary ever, it would at least sort of explain things. Maybe.

    Let me just say that Alkon is bogarting my irrational lust for redheads.

    Two words: Amy Pond.

  678. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:45

    CRA,
    Thanks.
    I just don’t want anyone to think that I am making fun of those with a condition that they can’t do anything about.

    Also:
    Amy Pond.
    NOT A POND!!!!!!!!!!

  679. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:46

    Mal, he’s just fucking nuts. I don’t think he really knows who or what he is going after. It started with his fixation on Tintin and somehow anyone who questions it is also an arch-enemy (an arch, arch-enemy in UR case). Seriously, Donalde is deranged and someone ought to notify the authorities.

    Has this little OT nugget been mentioned here?

  680. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:46

    Thanks to Whale & Gocart for the Donald backstory.
    ————–

    I propose a new internet tradition: Donalde Douglass Bingo.

    Whatever he says, I predict it will contain at least three of the following:

    My suggestions for DD Bingo:

    Fuckers
    (also place markers for similar abusive or truculent direct address: e.g., bro …dickwad…loser…fucking liar
    Bwahahaha!!
    (NB: Must be all-caps. Also place marker for AHAHA.)
    Frequent exclamation marks (especially multiples).
    (NB: 1′s are NOT acceptable, e.g., !!!!1!!!11 doesn’t cut it.
    pfft!
    (Awarded for use in final paragraph.)
    precious
    (only as a modifier, not Gollum-like noun.)

    ——————-

    Donald seems like like a fairly easy speciman for Fake Trolling. The ‘thought’ processes, lame-o rhetoric, and stylistic ‘tells’ are simple enough for camoflaged parody trolling. However–as with the Coach–it is best to do some fake ‘engagement’ with Sadly commenters soon afterwards.

    DD is definitely NOT a case of being off-his-meds; it is the straight-up st00pid at work, IMO.

    —————–

    It has to be understood that there are no prejudices here.

    Except for utterly irrational prejudices against NYC….

  681. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:50

    Donald Douglas doesn’t seem to realize that it takes under a second to edit “CARL ALLAN SALONEN (Tintin)” down to “[] (Tintin)”, and that doing so would be a good responsible blogger thing to do right away regardless of the truth of the matter. (Working from memory here re: the damning ass-covering scramblings he thinks he’s spotted at various blogs.)

    Alright, I’ve done enough. Good night, and sweet redhead dreams.

  682. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:50

    Donalde has another special moment: Althouse is down not because of Blogger being all bloggered and all, but because she speaks Truth to Power or something, and is being censored.

  683. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:51

    No prejudice against NYC could be irrational. NYC totally deserves it.

  684. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:55

    Subs or somebody made a crack about a hunchback ringing the bell for dinner ala Marty Feldman I think..

    A-Hem!

    How soon they forget…

  685. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:57

    They are all inFUCKINGsane.

    I’d do something food-pr0nly but … I had an enormous lunch – wonderful fish and chips at The Frying Scotsman food cart – and I’m just not interested in food just now. Last night I grilled a big strip steak and served it sliced on a salad. It was great but hardly pr0nlike. If I could remember just what I did to make pulled pork earlier this week it could be decent pr0n but I honestly don’t remember, I was winging it as usual and there was all the gin…

    Maybe later.

  686. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:58

    How soon they forget…

    Yea, but you are famous and shit now.

  687. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:59

    Tintin! Welcome back.

  688. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:06

    I used to change my name regularly based (more or less) on the thread topic.

    I now shudder to recall my nym transmogrifications as a n00b when I first stepped out of lurker-hood as Ice-Nine. And NOT changes in the clever ways of hunchback or spearhafoc, either! The Sadlies were so patient until I finally got it sorted out.

  689. The Donalde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:07

    This thread’s getting long. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Looking forward to more memory hole action from you douchebag losers!!

    And thanks again, Malaclypse!!

  690. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:07

    ahem acknowledged.

    I was trying to throw ‘them’ off track If ‘they’ ever make the connection to me, woe is us.

    Perhaps I’ve said too much already.

  691. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:12

    And thanks again, Malaclypse!!

    It has honestly been my great pleasure, Gachnar, er, Donalde. I hope to be this helpful again, soon.

  692. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:13

    No prejudice against NYC could be irrational. NYC totally deserves it.

    Yet it has such excellent Sadly bloggers. The contrast always amazes me. When N_B, and B^4 and Actor and all the rest seize control and divide NYC into dukedoms and principalities and rule the Destinies of Many, then will my prejudice vanish in a puff of smoke.

    Bailing now for baseball. It was nice re-engage some on this thread; I haven’t been able to do that in a while. As always, have fun!

  693. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:19

    Don’t worry, sham. There’s always room for you in the camper.
    ~

  694. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:20

    How soon they forget…

    Hey! Have you heard about this whole Tintin/The Donalde thingy?

    Whack. Totally whack, I say.

  695. Lypsinka said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:20

    Carl – ooops!, I mean “Tintin” – If I had a fucking dollar for every time I found Arnold rooting through my garbage can for old clothes of mine, I’d be a rich woman. Almost.

  696. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:24

    Lyps! How nice to see you again. I know, it’s sad how she has to settle for the trash of dignified dressers such as yourself.

    Looch, I know! This “Carl” fellow has been watching events unfold, of course. But I’m sure he’ll tire of it shortly and go back to hawking his shitty T-shirts.

  697. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:25

    I was trying to throw ‘them’ off track If ‘they’ ever make the connection to me, woe is us.

    Don’t I remember? I took I to the chiropractor and he adjusted my spine and mine. I should be feeling less humpy these days.

  698. Fenwick said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:26

    I’m just not interested in food just now

    Next you’ll be saying your not interested in a sharp wardrobe, Pup….

    I’m a Food-is-Only-Fuel person; can’t cook a lick. But I lurves da food pr0n at S.N! Now I’m going to run downstairs and make some sandwiches for the ballgame. Store-bought egg salad.

  699. Alex said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:26

    I can’t believe this moron put up a post citing “Malaclypse”, a blog commentor, as proof of a proposition.

    That’s almost as idiotic and batshit crazy as quoting a Mucinex-addicted female impersonator appearing on the Ms. Instadipshit show on PJTV for proof.

    This may be why Donalde has never published — his submissions never get past the laugh test.

  700. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:27

    Oh…and Donalde? You might seriously want to consider pulling those posts down. I’m no lawyer but it strikes me that if you’re wrong about your suspicions, you’re rather exposed to all sorts of reprisals for smearing an innocent man.

  701. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:28

    Thanks , but uhhhhh…..

    Stay in the boat.
    Stay out of the camper.

  702. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:29

    Poops! How they hangin’?

    Oh wait. I should know, right?

  703. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:29

    But I’m sure he’ll tire of it shortly and go back to hawking his shitty T-shirts.

    The fact you put the fellow’s name in quotation marks tells me that he is, in fact, a fictional person. I am sure you could verify this if we lived in a safer, saner, world.

  704. Smut Clyde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:31

    a hunchback ringing the bell for dinner
    Viz.

  705. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:32

    I can’t believe this moron put up a post citing “Malaclypse”, a blog commentor, as proof of a proposition.

    But I’m trustworthy!

    Granted, all I did was point out that Carl was someone’s real name, which I figured was pretty obvious. But I stand by that assertion – I am confident Carl is a real person, and I am confident that learning a real person’s polysyllabic name was an actual accomplishment for Donalde. The fact that Don could not understand this really is not my fault.

  706. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:33

    Well, “Carl” is a fairly terrifying person with a really long history of killing people so I don’t want him to associate me with rumours about him.

    Kills men by the hundreds. Shoots fire out of his arse. Seven foot tall and consumes people with the frikkin’ lasers he had surgically implanted in his eyes.

    That’s the kind of man I wouldn’t want to mess with

  707. Lypsinka said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:34

    Actor, dahling! Mahvelous to see you too!

    I ink-they the onald-day is oh-nay ooh-Tay or-yeah eecret-say identity.

    Ee-hey ohs-nay at-they Arl-cay is intin-Tay! OMF odd-gay!!!!!

  708. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:34

    actor,

    I was wondering about that.
    That was you/ me?
    In any case,
    I feel better .

  709. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:34

    I am confident Carl is a real person

    That makes one of us.

  710. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:36

    Smut Clyde has photographic evidence of the hunchback. And how could he have come by such if Smut Clyde WAS NOT IN FACT THE HUNCHBACK HIMSELF!?!?!?

  711. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:37

    Kills men by the hundreds. Shoots fire out of his arse. Seven foot tall and consumes people with the frikkin’ lasers he had surgically implanted in his eyes.

    Carl was way cool
    Everybody liked Carl
    Everybody wanted to hang out with him
    Anything he wanted to do, he did
    He turned water into wine
    And if he wanted to
    He could have turned wheat into marijuana
    Or sugar into cocaine
    Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

    He walked on the water
    And swam on the land
    He would tell these stories
    And people would listen
    He was really cool

    If you were blind or lame
    You just went to Carl
    And he would put his hands on you
    And you would be healed
    That’s so cool

    He could’ve played guitar better than Hendrix
    He could’ve told the future
    He could’ve baked the most delicious cake in the world
    He could’ve scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
    He could’ve danced better than Barishnikov
    Carl could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
    Carl was way cool

    He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
    That’s so cool
    Carl was so cool
    But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
    So they killed him
    But then he rose from the dead
    He rose from the dead, danced around
    Then went up to heaven
    I mean, that’s so cool
    Carl was way cool

  712. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:38

    That’s the kind of man I wouldn’t want to mess with

    No way, me either.

    I bet he is a persistent devil as well. You know, to the last.

  713. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:38

    Lyps,

    I AM SPARTACUS!

    wait…

    Oh….

    THIS IS SPARTA!

    no, that’s still not right….

    OK, it’s true. I’m TinTin. I’m also Don Surber, Glenn Reynolds, Dr Mrs Perfesser, Ann Althouse, Rush Limbaugh, Barack Obama, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayres AND God.

    Getting all this down, Donalde?

    Because…and this is going to bend your noodle…I’m also Donalde…

  714. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:39

    I was wondering about that.
    That was you/ me?

    I and I, erie, mon!

  715. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:39

    Well, “Carl” is a fairly terrifying person with a really long history of killing people so I don’t want him to associate me with rumours about him.

    Kills men by the hundreds. Shoots fire out of his arse. Seven foot tall and consumes people with the frikkin’ lasers he had surgically implanted in his eyes.
    .

    We did! We did meet at Studio 54! I never forget a fire-shooting arse.

  716. Alex said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:39

    But I’m trustworthy!

    You expect me to trust someone who doesn’t snort Mucinex or cross dress badly, who doesn’t appear on Pajamas TV and has no pronounced devotion to juvenile Randian fillossofees???

    I think not!

  717. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:39

    I bet he is a persistent devil as well. You know, to the last.

    I wouldn’t know. I have a TRO on him and he’s not been near me since about 6 AM today.

  718. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:40

    We did! We did meet at Studio 54! I never forget a fire-shooting arse.

    That was YOU?!?!?!?!

    I mean, that story is legend here in NYC….

  719. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:42

    Fenwick – by “just now” I mean “at just this moment.” let’s see where I am after some New Amsterdam.

  720. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:43

    I wouldn’t know. I have a TRO on him and he’s not been near me since about 6 AM today.

    You should let the Limpet know.

    It’s the decent thing to do.

  721. Malaclypse said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:44

    I bet he is a persistent devil as well. You know, to the last.

    Well, according to Donalde, he was behing the Blogger crash, which was all done to inconvenience Ann Althouse.

  722. JulesW said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:44

    I have an idea Mal. Tell that chump Donalde with the brain that sewer rat tastes exactly like pumpkin pie, then let’s see if that stupid motherfucker gets lost in the sewers trying to catch hisself dessert.

  723. Smut Clyde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:46

    And how could he have come by such if Smut Clyde WAS NOT IN FACT THE HUNCHBACK HIMSELF!?!?!?

    Frau Bleucher!!

  724. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:46

    Well, according to Donalde, he was behing the Blogger crash, which was all done to inconvenience Ann Althouse.

    I don’t believe it!

    Wow. He crashed my blog today too!

    Damn, he is as powerful as he says he is! It would be a bad thing to get on his bad side.

  725. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:47

    Valkerie for Smut.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7RtIQLWchQ

    Me? I don’t play no prog rock y’all. But I have nothing against those that do.

    also, going to re–link PM’s mention of Freddy Mercury still working it in….
    well, you gotta go see,

    http://www.frontiersman.com/articles/2011/05/12/local_news/doc4dc8c8e0a76f2219524721.txt

  726. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:47

    You should let the Limpet know.

    He should be the last to know.

  727. Another Kiwi said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:50

    I, for one, am disappointed that I am not Allan Carlsonn (bad research, bad research!). Four times (FOUR TIMES, PEOPLE) egg-up-the-anus national champion of New Zild.

  728. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:52

    So, which of we is going to make something to eat?

  729. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:54

    I was gonna say, I inadvertently knew what his name was. How much sleuthing could it have taken?

    I was going to say.

    BTW, Poop? If the comment (who was trying very hard to hide) was in reference to a poster who has suddenly dropped off his regular posting habits, the event you mentioned happened many months before his boss pulled the plug on Sadly, No! from his office. He wasn’t hiding, he simply couldn’t come out to play.

  730. Alex said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:54

    Fuck it actor, I already did the whole “I am Spartacus” thing on the last comment thread!

    You must have been too busy not being Tintin to notice.

  731. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:55

    You must have been too busy not being Tintin to notice.

    These conspiracies don’t just build themselves!

  732. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:56

    So, which of we is going to make something to eat?

    I already ate, but I knew that. I got an apple. I want it?

  733. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    May 14, 2011 at 2:56

    And if that doesn’t make one’s colon swell with pride…
    ~

  734. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:02

    He should be the last to know.

    *Golf clap*

    Martini?

    Good times, good times.

  735. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:04

    I’d love one, thank I

  736. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:06

    Goddamit. Me and those fucking apples.

  737. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:08

    I’m sorry. I forgot I had issues with fruit!

  738. Another Kiwi said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:11

    I thought I told me to lay off the fucking apples

  739. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:11

    So, when’s the reveal? I want to be around for that.

    It’s every night around 9:30, main stage at The Gaiety

  740. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:14

    I have issues with the same damn fruit day in and day out. Why don’t I get a pear or a plum once in a while.

    Fuck it. I’m having grilled porkchops , whether I like it or not.

  741. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:14

    I laid off the apples but I told me I could start again!

  742. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:15

    I can’t eat pork! It’s not halal and I know that!

  743. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:15

    a212 – you missed my follow-up correction “NOT trying very hard”

    fuching iPhone.

  744. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:18

    I just took a look at that photo that I– mean TinTin used up top here.

    Those glasses…if Arnold’s so paranoid about being compared to a cross-dresser, he might want to consider glasses that are a bit softer around the edges.

    He does sort of remind me of Snagglepuss, tho

  745. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:18

    “It’s every night around 9:30, main stage at The Gaiety”

    ohhhh yeah, I DO remember me. You. I.

  746. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:18

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I wondered what that was about Poop. My bad. I apologize to I.

  747. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:19

    ohhhh yeah, I DO remember me. You. I.

    That was I?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

  748. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:19

    Fuck it. I’m having grilled porkchops , whether I like it or not.

    I have a flank steak brining overnight to be put on the grill and cooked just so tomorrow night. With a kick-ass Caesar salad (I makee my own dressing–think garlic).

    The word “dénouement” is floating around my brane. I don’t think that’s and ingredient in my Caesar recipe. Why, oh, why is it there?

  749. tigris said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:19

    WHS Principal Dwight Probasco reportedly had received complaints from at least one parent that the 1975 hit written by Freddie Mercury wasn’t appropriate for the ceremony simply because Mercury was gay.

    The parent instead suggested they play a selections from Barber, Britten, or Tchaikovsky.

  750. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:20

    Rachel Maddow’s subpoena power will destroy your career.

  751. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:21

    I can spell “an.”

    So can I.

  752. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:22

    The parent instead suggested they play a selections from Barber, Britten, or Tchaikovsky.

    Sir Elton John, actually.

  753. Lypsinka said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:25

    Those glasses…if Arnold’s so paranoid about being compared to a cross-dresser, he might want to consider glasses that are a bit softer around the edges.

    GODFUCKINGDAMMIT!! I threw those glasses away, along with an ugly pink blouse with ruffles on the front and a ginormous black hat I bought during a drinking binge. That fucking twat has been in my garbage AGAIN!

  754. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:25

    Waiter! There’s a dénouement in my salad!

  755. tigris said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:25

    I, for one, am disappointed that I am not Allan Carlsonn (bad research, bad research!). Four times (FOUR TIMES, PEOPLE) egg-up-the-anus national champion of New Zild.

    You discovered you weren’t by the third egg?

  756. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:27

    Waiter! There’s a dénouement in my salad!

    I use them in my three bean salad.

  757. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:27

    That fucking twat has been in my garbage AGAIN!

    Mine too!

  758. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:30

    Ahhh, My favorite episode of House is on Bravo now…See I all later!

  759. Alex said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:30

    Don’t look now, Lypsinka, but . . .

  760. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:30

    *slepping ento ze Belgian accent*

  761. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:30

    Rorem, Bernstein, Sondheim, Porter, Cage, Menotti, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

  762. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:32

    Your fucking garbage has been in that twat.

    Sorry.

  763. Alex said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:34

    Rorem, Bernstein, Sondheim, Porter, Cage, Menotti, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

    Maybe they should just play some good old American show tunes, just to be safe.

  764. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:37

    To be fair to those concerned Wasilla parents, Freddie Mercury was really gay. (jk it’s cool.)
    What surprises me now is that my preteen friends and I failed to realize Mercury and Rob Halford of Judas Priest were gay. We just thought they were cool guys who dressed in leather. As a parent I’d be conflicted to see my son idolize a hard-living polysexual leatherman without knowing it, but what are the ethics of telling him? Perhaps it’d be polluting his mind with prejudice. These gentlemen are good citizens in the main and noted artists.

    I remember deciding for the first time that I would pick a haircut. I found a picture of David Bowie (lightly made-up) in suit with feathered and frosted hair. I showed my mom and the barber but quietly was not given the look.

  765. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:41

    “You discovered you weren’t by the third egg?”

    I will take the liberty of a simple LOL

  766. Pupienus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:49

    My brothers never understood why I liked watching whatever it was that had Jan Mchael VIncent. … World’s Greatest Athlete, yeah, that’s it. Also Michael York.

  767. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:50

    Michael York.

    Loved him in The Island of Doctor Moreau. Hairy-like.

  768. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 3:56

    To be fair, they did produce Katie McGrath

    Whoever produced Kate Beckinsale WINS. I will fight anyone who disputes this warm, firm, softly curved fact….

  769. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:17

    Kills men by the hundreds. Shoots fire out of his arse. Seven foot tall and consumes people with the frikkin’ lasers he had surgically implanted in his eyes.

    And fifty fuckin’ dicks!
    .

  770. Smut Clyde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:19

    Whoever produced Kate Beckinsale WINS
    I am not deterred by tsam’s threats. Underworld 2 was a dog of a movie and Len Wiseman is a plonker.

  771. Smut Clyde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:28

    http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjmnolte/2011/05/13/the-new-blacklist-rachel-maddow-declares-witchhunt-against-huckabee-animators/

    Huckabee is animated??
    If he turns out to be a GIF, suspicion will turn to Substance McG.

  772. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:34

    Spearhafoc, who has morphed into a sexist, objectifying pig said,

    May 14, 2011 at 1:19 (kill)

    I grow tired of their insistence that being Irish is something to be all proud about.

    To be fair, they did produce Katie McGrath. That’s something any country would be proud to have on its resume.

    I now declare this “the official Speahafoc posts pictures of women he finds attractive thread”.

    Let me just say that Alkon is bogarting my irrational lust for redheads.

    Me too, which has to be the crime of the century as far as I’m concerned.

    Yes, that would be a crime against humanity.

    I declare this the official VRBK-posts-pictures-of-women-he-finds-attractive thread, coupled with the redhead lust thread….

    These Jenny Craig commercials lately with Sara Rue are driving me crazy. Confession: I’ve been in love with her since Grand (When it was creepy and illegal for me to be in love with her.) and ever since, through brunette and redhead and blonde-with-green-streaks and mercifully back to redhead and through “fat” and skinny and “fat” and skinny again.

    I think she’s overdone it with the skinny this time, but then I think Garcia on Criminal Minds is a fucking goddess, too, so your mileage may vary.

  773. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:37

    Sorry foodpr0n addicts. Took the last of that Bolognese I made recently out of the freezer, birl up some pasta and mebbee have some salad. Best of all, The Ho cn take care of everything. Bolognese freezes very well – tsam, I need to teach you Bolognese; it’s actually very easy, also FABulous and keeps well.

  774. Another Kiwi said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:41

    Frozen Spag. bol. has saved this family from foraging the neighbourhood pets on many occasions

  775. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:50

    Did you know neighborhood pets make a fine Bolognese? Much cheaper than store bout meat. The urban cook recommends it.

  776. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:50

    FYiPad.

  777. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:56

    Did you know neighborhood pets make a fine Bolognese?

    Where do they find the little pots and pans and stoves?

  778. Another Kiwi said,

    May 14, 2011 at 4:57

    Here is a neighbourhood pet making Bolognese. I guess they are cheaper because you can pay them in left-overs

  779. Smut Clyde said,

    May 14, 2011 at 5:09

    Hold the drool on mine please.

  780. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 6:48

    Hold the drool on mine please.

  781. M. Bouffant said,

    May 14, 2011 at 7:14

    That Big Ho Nolte, always confusing art & politics. In this case, it’s so obviously about the lame art, no matter the history/politics, I’m a little surprised he bothered. The Reagan they drew (or what?) was unrecognizable. Nancy should be suing if she wants Ronnie to be remembered well.

    Perhaps one of Nolte’s friends is the animator responsible, & this is pre-emptive defense.

  782. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 7:19

    The cool thing about that animated Reagan is that you can see all the way into his mouth, as if his whole head is, uh, empty.

  783. Whale Chowder said,

    May 14, 2011 at 7:43

    I am so embarrassed that I did not recognize that the Carl being referred to by Donalde is that Carl.

    My laughter, she is doubled.

  784. Anonymous said,

    May 14, 2011 at 7:46

    Dunno if this is sufficient food porn, but last week I made a Reuben loaf: basically you make onion-rye dough, roll out a bottom layer, lay down Reuben fillings (kraut, corned beef, Thousand Island, Dijon, Swiss); put another slightly smaller layer of dough on; another layer of filling; a third, smallest layer; more fillings; then roll out a big piece of dough to cover it all as a big domed loaf. Brush with beaten egg and bake.

    Here it is with a couple of wedges already served up.

  785. Whale Chowder said,

    May 14, 2011 at 8:13

    In my defense, I hadn’t read the second half of the post downstairs. Before now.

    So…there’s that.

    Go go, Donalde, double down m’boy. See what you can do.

  786. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 14, 2011 at 8:42

    Wait a minute. Why is this “Donalde” character picking on a fine, exemplary example of Christian manhood such as Carl Salonen? Must be some sort of un-American, anti-Christian etchings hater.

  787. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 11:46

    And fifty fuckin’ dicks!,/i>

    Forty nine. One fell off.

  788. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 11:48

    Did you know neighborhood pets make a fine Bolognese?

    All I know about cooking I learned from the local Chinese take-out?

  789. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 11:49

    Why is this “Donalde” character picking on a fine, exemplary example of Christian manhood such as Carl Salonen? Must be some sort of un-American, anti-Christian etchings hater.

    He’s gay, too.

    NTTAWWT!

  790. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 12:12

    Amy Alkon… Borderline?
    Why, that is sooooo impossible!

    Arnold is the prime justification for building a border fence.

  791. repsac3 (BWAAAAAHAHA is sorry about yesterday's lost Blogger posts.) said,

    May 14, 2011 at 13:41

    “…gay. NTTAWWT!”

    That’s N3 on my official Donalde intertube bingo card.

  792. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 14:13

    “Forty nine [dicks]. One fell off.”

    Unless just the one had balls you’ve got no excuse for playing favorites.

  793. Snorghagen said,

    May 14, 2011 at 14:30

    Hold the drool on mine please.

    Holding drool is no easy task.

  794. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 14:36

    “Forty nine [dicks]. One fell off.”

    Unless just the one had balls you’ve got no excuse for playing favorites.

    It would take highly advanced manufacturing techniques to create 100 balls that were all the same size. Frankly, I don’t think that U.S. industry is up to it…maybe the Germans can do it.

  795. exford legs said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:03

    Playing favourites

  796. tigris said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:11

    They only have to be roughly the same size, and 50 can be slightly heavier.

  797. Spearhafoc, who continues to be a sexist, objectifying pig said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:12

    These Jenny Craig commercials lately with Sara Rue are driving me crazy.

    I wasn’t familiar with her before you mentioned her but I agree, she’s adorable. I think she looks best at her medium weight but she seems to look great at any size. The constant yo-yoing weight can’t be healthy for her though.

  798. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:14

    They only have to be roughly the same size, and 50 can be slightly heavier.

    By the time one is done with the head count* and calculating the standard deviations of diameter and weight, there’s little energy left for vigorous masturbation.

    *Heh.

  799. Briareus the Vigorous Hekatonkheir said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:22

    Someone called for a handjob?

  800. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:28

    How many balls can you juggle?

  801. Briareus the Vigorous Hekatonkheir said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:32

    Buddy, I’ve got fifty heads and a hundred hands, do the math.

  802. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:37

    Buddy, I’ve got fifty heads and a hundred hands, do the math.

    Given the unfortunate “falling off” incident, this leaves 49 heads and 98 hands to do the work while one head barks out the cadence.

    You know, a cockswain.

    What?

  803. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:40

    You know, a cockswain.

    This is ‘merka, damnit. Cocks don’t wane, they wax!

  804. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:40

    How novel! This vast newcomer is both a cthonic aberration from the age of titans, AND a sassy gay hooker with a heart of gold.

  805. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:41

    This is ‘merka, damnit

    Waxing is extra.

  806. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:42

    Chthonic? Who can say.

  807. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 15:45

    Djinn and Chthonic

  808. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:01

    “Djinn and Chthonic” would be a good name for a droll fantasy novel.

  809. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:04

    “Given the unfortunate “falling off” incident, this leaves 49 heads and 98 hands to do the work while one head barks out the cadence.”

    You’re not the 1st person to hastily comply with Briareus’ thundering call to “DO THE MATH!” He’s got a sixth-dimensional abacus array that he keeps next to Obama’s chess set. One of these Bill Brasski types.

  810. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:22

    To Bill Brasski!

  811. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:25

    ““Djinn and Chthonic” would be a good name for a droll fantasy novel.”

    I am a bit surprised that L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt didn’t produce such a work.

  812. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:26

    Or DID they?

  813. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:40

    You’ve outed me. I am Fletcher Pratt. Now Donaldee will hunt me to my (second) dying day.

  814. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:42

    Pupe, tsam.

    ALL.

    ONE.

    GUY.

  815. Looch said,

    May 14, 2011 at 16:43

    Or mebbe not.

  816. N__B said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:08

    The “all one guy” hypothesis would explain the 50 dicks.

  817. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:29

    whaaaa?

  818. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:32

    HAHA–”The rent is too damn high” guy is running for preznit as a Republican.

  819. tsam said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:34

    Jan Brewer: Snatch.

  820. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:39

    This thread needs more cryptozoology.

  821. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:42

    This thread needs more cryptozoology.

    Okay then.

  822. Whale Chowder said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:45

    Doing the math.

  823. El Manquécito said,

    May 14, 2011 at 17:58

    food pron

    My version of the SanFran classic salad Crab Louis with fresh scrimps instead of crab. Bed of lettuce, egg, tomato wedges, capers, ripe red pepper, croutons, Louis dressing. Old fashioned but real good on a hot day which seems like the only kind we’re having.

  824. El Manquécito said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:00

    FYWP I did too make that link

    food pron

  825. Pupienus Maximus said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:03

    And it’s National Salad Month no less!

  826. El Manquécito said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:09

    And it’s National Salad Month no less!

    News of that had not reached us out here in the swamp. We took a salad to a neighbor’s party once and one of the fellers there said he’d “just as soon eat oak leaves”.

  827. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:35

    Capers are vile.

  828. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:36

    How do you think this thread will go?

  829. CRA said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:45

    Judging by the first two comments, it ain’t gonna go like the blogger would like. But everyone involved is morally superior to Iranians.

  830. HappyCamper said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:48

    How do you think this thread will go?

    Apparently, from the first three comments, pretty well for Iranian-style justice.

  831. Whale Chowder from his phone said,

    May 14, 2011 at 18:50

    New thread.

  832. sham - low sodium hunchback said,

    May 14, 2011 at 19:01

    I think that if David Pryce-Jones has another gin&, he’ll be able to deal with it.

  833. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 20:54

    “…gay. NTTAWWT!”

    That’s N3 on my official Donalde intertube bingo card.

    Doesn’t count. It was done to mock him.

    I mean me.

  834. actor212 said,

    May 14, 2011 at 20:55

    “Forty nine [dicks]. One fell off.”

    Unless just the one had balls you’ve got no excuse for playing favorites.

    NO one has ever accused me of lacking balls.

  835. soullite said,

    May 16, 2011 at 16:31

    Please. Congress banned the only working over the counter decongestant in the country all because someone might use it to make drugs. I’m just not willing to listen to arguments that they are somehow justified in making my life absolute hell 3 months out of the year.

  836. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 16, 2011 at 16:47

    The silver lining of the ban is that it makes soullite’s life absolute hell 3 months out of the year.

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