More Fun With Don “Jim Bob” Surber

surber_deport

ABOVE: Don Surber in front of his newly-remodeled
home


When Sadly, No! fave Don “Jim Bob” Surber takes down a post after being given a little too much attention from the Sadly, Nauts, I would probably otherwise leave him alone to nurse his wounded pride on pork skins and moonpies in the solitude of the leaky shack he calls home. But, sadly, I just can’t. Not when he posts something called “Correcting Kristof” and he is, in fact, as wrong as a Catholic priest in a boys locker room.

What has our Plato of Poca all fired up is a Kristof column about Republicans being on the warpath “against family planning programs at home and abroad.” To illustrate the consequences of not having available family planning abroad, Kristof tells the story of a Somali woman who died in childbirth.

In comes Super Surber for the kill:

And on and on he goes.

Not once in his column does he mention Planned Parenthood.

There’s a reason for that.

Planned Parenthood does not have an office in Somalia.

Er, Jim Bob, the reason that Kristof doesn’t mention Planned Parenthood is because HE ISN’T TALKING ABOUT PLANNED PARENTHOOD, a possibility you might have considered before dribbling ketchup and spittle on the front of your K-Mart overalls. Because, you see, Jim Bob, Planned Parenthood is not the only U.S. program funding international family planning activities. There’s the mysteriously secretive organization called USAID, which also funds family planning activities overseas. And the Repubs cut the agency’s reproductive health and family planning from $648 million to $575 million. That’s what Kristof is talking about.

The reason, Don, you have no chance at a Pulitzer ever is not because you’re a particularly unphotogenic right-wing extremist. It’s because you’re dumber than a wrecked Chevy on cinder blocks.

 

Comments: 221

 
 
 

Facts, facts, facts—what are they to those who know the Truth?

I used to be amused, now I’m disgusted without trying.

 
 

Planned Parenthood is the new ACORN for conservatives. 90% of Its funding goes to abortions!. And probably PP will help Obama steal the 2012 election, too.

 
 

I should have put “quotes” around the last 2 sentences above.

 
 

90% of Its funding goes to abortions!. And probably PP will help Obama steal the 2012 election, too.

Oh my god! Has anyone told that O’Keefe guy? He should totally get on that. Someone needs to protect teh behbies. And the free market.

 
 

And probably PP will help Obama steal the 2012 election, too.

well, you have to admit that with Pinko Punko on board, Obama is a shoe in.

 
 

OK, now that’s just sad. I’m starting to feel bad about poking fun at him, like miming throwing a ball over and over again for a particularly dumb dog.

 
 

Every Planned Parenthood abortion implants MIND CONTROL DEVICES into dirty sluts, who are often NOT WHITE. The MIND CONTROL DEVICES will make the dirty sluts have sex a lot, possibly with people who are NOT WHITE, and they will all force people to vote for the KENYAN USURPER, who is NOT WHITE, and then they will abort us all with the PLANNED PARENTHOOD LASER. And then SATAN will put dildos up our bottoms and MAKE US ENJOY IT.

(God, I’ve got to start sending crazy faux-schizo letters to newspaper editors again…)

 
 

So who’s dumber — Don Surber, Jim Hoft, Michael Medved, or Allie Brosh’s simple dog?

 
 

Despite the fact that you may have video and audio evidence that I said abortions are 90% of what Planned Parenthood does, the Congressional Record makes no reference to that. So, therefore, anyone who says that I said what you saw with your own eyes and heard with their own ears is unAmerican. And a poopyhead.

 
 

“Reality has a well known liberal bias.” – Stephen Colbert

 
 

The reason, Don, you have no chance at a Pulitzer ever is not because you’re a particularly unphotogenic right-wing extremist. It’s because you’re dumber than a wrecked Chevy on cinder blocks.

NOOO!

It’s because Dondum deleted my effing comment.

That’s about the same as three Hitlers, imho.
~

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Deleting the comment.

 
 

alone to nurse his wounded pride on pork skins and moonpies in the solitude of the leaky shack

HOW I SPEND MY WEEKENDS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

 
 

I’m starting to feel bad about poking fun at him, like miming throwing a ball over and over again for a particularly dumb dog.

Hey, I don’t fall for that every time.

 
 

I could argue that de-funding Planned Parenthood will save 150,000 mothers a year.

But I won’t.

Good, cuz I wouldn’t want you fall down and get hurt.

 
 

who isn’t seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)

Thorsday!

 
 

OK, now that’s just sad. I’m starting to feel bad about poking fun at him, like miming throwing a ball over and over again for a particularly dumb dog.

Particularly dumb dogs love being played with, even if it is this sort of teasing.

Being taken to school by Sadlies is likely considered a badge of honor among these goatfuckers.

 
 

90% of Its funding goes to abortions!

Now now, Kyl DID come back later and say that this was a lie. Let’s not bust the guy’s chops forever over it.

 
 

Have I mentioned how much I love stepping all over my own jokes with my appalling grammar and spelling? It’s like I get all excited like a little tweaked-out puppy and I’m like “Oh boy, oh boy!!! I have something funnies to say!!!! It’s the best jokes EVARS!!!” And then I piss myself.

 
 

I could argue that de-funding Planned Parenthood will save 150,000 mothers a year.

Eh, what now? 150,000 mothers a year? I’m going to have to start buying vitamin supllements in bulk.

 
 

Substance McGravitas says:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
May 9, 2011 at 10:55 AM

Maybe you should delete this post and say to hell with it as the Kristof column has been so misinterpreted by Don Surber.

 
 

I’m like “Oh boy, oh boy!!! I have something funnies to say!!!!

It’s all gone!
~

 
 

hey sub…well done, you! glad you were able to deflect the attention away from poor charlotte who has been wrongly accused of ‘attacking the host…’

 
 

attacking the host

 
 

“,,,It’s the best jokes EVARS!!!” And then I piss myself.

This would be a better stand-up act than Dane Cook is capable of.

 
 

The reason, Don, you have no chance at a Pulitzer ever is not because you’re a particularly unphotogenic right-wing extremist. It’s because you’re dumber than a wrecked Chevy on cinder blocks

this too…and also, if you have to repeatedly make comments on your own thread to the effect of ‘you’ve misinterpreted what i wrote’ means your thought processes, writing skills and such suck donkey dicks also too…

 
 

But it might help save 300,000 or so babies that are aborted by Planned Parenthood each year. About half of them would become, when of age, mothers themselves.

I could argue that de-funding Planned Parenthood will save 150,000 mothers a year

i haz bad math skillz??? where does he get these ass-itistics? oh, wait…

 
 

OK, now that’s just sad. I’m starting to feel bad about poking fun at him, like miming throwing a ball over and over again for a particularly dumb dog.

i might might maybe feel sad for him if he wasn’t such a tool each time anyone tries to point out in any way that he may be the teensiest bit wrong…

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Why all this hate for wrecked Chevys on cinder blocks? Lets face it, which would you rather have in your yard, Don Surber or the wrecked Chevy? I would argue Don surber should only be compared to things that reach his own special level of noxious, like superfund sites, or broadcast television.

 
 

Surber’s updated teh post.

 
 

It’s like I get all excited like a little tweaked-out puppy and I’m like “Oh boy, oh boy!!! I have something funnies to say!!!! It’s the best jokes EVARS!!!” And then I piss myself.

You say this like it’s a bad thing.

 
 

I love Simple Dog!
.

 
 

Well, as long as I’m still funnier than Dane Cook, I guess…

 
 

With all the withdrawal of Surber’s valiant thrusts against the lie-beral emmessemm and then pretending things in the past didn’t happen – I bet that there are some pick-up trucks with seriously hurt feelings.

 
 

oh my, oh my…this is rich!!! jimdonbob deleted one of his OWN comments! after snotting off to this post:

Charlotte Coques says:
May 9, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Mr. Kristol’s column was not about Planned Parenthood. Perhaps if you read the column, you would know that. Planned Parenthood is not the only way the government helps fund family planning programs, and abortion is not the primary method of family planning.

he went on a mini-rant about perhaps if SHE would have read the entire kristol column, she would have realized that jimdonbobjoe was correct!!! and he chastised her about disagreeing with what he wrote (after the obligatory ‘you misunderstood me’) and pointed out it is bad form to ‘attack’ the host. then he added a link to his ‘rules.’ he has since deleted it…i only wish i could have seen the confuzion on his face as he realized it was he himself who ‘misunderstood…’

 
 

Surber’s updated teh post.

this will surely be a 3 case of moonpies day for jimdonjoebob…

 
 

Moon pies…we must be living in the future.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Thorsday!

Thank you for getting my terrible joke. Thursday was indeed named after Thor.

 
 

like a little tweaked-out puppy

Missourians, do I have to tell you again? Always keep you meth lab and your puppy mill separate.

 
 

your

 
 

Thursday was indeed named after Thor.

See also Thorazine.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

See also Thorazine.

And Thora Birch.

Say, what happened to her anyway?

 
 

Say, what happened to her anyway?

This.

 
 

Well now that he’s corrected this article as well you guys are coming dangerously close to forcing Mr. Surber to make an intellectually honest argument. I’m pretty sure that if he ever does he’ll explode from the effort. Keep it up, guys!

 
 

This.

i hope you knew this only through vigorous internutz research…

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

She did Ghost World after that.

 
 

Say, what happened to her anyway?

This.

I was gonna say a combination of Emma Stone and Ellen Page.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Thora Birch killed the thread.

 
 

you guys are coming dangerously close to forcing Mr. Surber to make an intellectually honest argument.

this would cause even more massive misinterpretation than usual from his readers…

 
Charlotte Coques
 

I am so pleased to have confused and upset this guy with a factual and civil comment.
Though admittedly, he doesn’t seem difficult to confuse and upset.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

I am so pleased to have confused and upset this guy with a factual and civil comment.

Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Somewhat relevant. Commie Propaganda rag Business Week editorial.

Early Childhood Education Pays Off

In recent years, scientific and economic research has coalesced around the insight that the biggest bang for the public buck comes from investing in early childhood development programs, especially for young kids growing up in poverty. Investment in early childhood education not only improves academic and social skills; it reduces future crime and teenage pregnancy rates for disadvantaged children.

http://www.businessweek.com/investor/content/may2011/pi2011053_671120.htm

 
 

Wake up! Simple Dog!
.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

(God, I’ve got to start sending crazy faux-schizo letters to newspaper editors again…)

So, Scott, YOU’RE the one who’s been writing all the letters to the Savannah Daily Disappointment… Although, on second thought, it’s probably not you. Your offering made much more sense than most of the letters to the editor down here do.

 
 

Omg, bless that poor dumb dog’s heart. I’m glad she has a great home!

 
 

lol, zrm. Lucy is much smarter!
~

 
 

Surber succumbs to Sadlies’ Subtle Smackdown! Well done indeed. Funniest thing I’ve seen in some time.

This needs to be mentioned around teh webz – it was supreme trollery.

 
 

… I’m starting to feel bad about poking fun at him, like miming throwing a ball over and over again for a particularly dumb dog…

But what if it was a dumb dog who peed and pooped all over your house, growled and barked at your visiting friends, chewed on furniture and humped your leg?

 
 

“But what if it was a dumb dog who peed and pooped all over your house, growled and barked at your visiting friends, chewed on furniture and humped your leg?”

that would be the neighbor’s dog.

 
 

Planned Parenthood does not have an office in Somalia sounds like a meme right out of ye olde Encyclopædia Dramatica (RIP) (pours out 40).

Don Surber needs less derp.

 
 

and Thorium

 
 

If Surber was a troll, I could at least respect him a little. Unfortunately, he’s not. He’s one of Barnum’s Favorites; part of the group of Americans described by A. Lincoln (recently quantified at 27% of the population) who can be fooled all of the time. Reading his comments section sucks your brain right out of your ears.

 
 

Also too, might a Sadlynaut be so bold as to suggest that Tintin append an update to his previous post due to its ensuing blitzsnark dipschittdämmerung Liberal Fascist Triumph Of Teh Skill?

AFAF

 
 

Hey, wow, good for Surber re the correction. It’s certainly braver to leave it up with his frankly pretty abject apology and admission of error than deleting it and pretending it never happened, so good on him.

 
 

Surber succumbs to Sadlies’ Subtle Smackdown!

Wingnut Waaaahs While Web-Thugs Waltz?

Being taken to school by Sadlies is likely considered a badge of honor among these goatfuckers.

I for one will be more than happy to hand out enough badges of honor to bury them in.

The odds of America ever morphing into an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show are zero.
Misplaced faith can’t move a fucking quark, let alone a mountain.
Anachronisms make shitty paradigms.

 
 


But what if it was a dumb dog who peed and pooped all over your house, growled and barked at your visiting friends, chewed on furniture and humped your leg?

Time to go live with a nice farm family!!!

 
 

from the comments:
As a Liberated woman I care less about what is Planned Parenthood, all I care about is demanding Government discontinue its illegal enforcement of making me carry the burden upon my Liberated shoulders by forcing me to subsidizng other women’s sex lives .

You could say I have come a long way baby and seriously re-evaluated my support of oppressive Feminism.

Just how Liberating is this “I am a perpetually oppressed by the white male-chauvanist pig Woman Hear Me Roar-Big Sweet Sugar Daddy Government give me more, more, more”?

Particularily in this new-wavy day and age in which more females are employed than males.

Wow. Parody troll?

 
 

Hey hey! Hats off & heads bowed here, people!

Pause to remember the fallen.

Rest easy, donsurber/archives/33593, & know that we will always stay true to the dreams that once lived in your heart.

 
 

Wow. Parody troll?

I don’t know, but she’s awesome. Love the questioning if Kristof’s Somalia story raises a “mote” point.

 
 

“Wow. Parody troll?”

Sadly, no, I’m guessing.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

The odds of America ever morphing into an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show are zero.

Nah, they wouldn’t want that. The Dick Van Dyke show had the occasional black person on it. Not to mention Mary Tyler Moore’s pants!

 
 

new-wavy day and age

Wavy Gravy weeps.

Not to mention Mary Tyler Moore’s pants!

Mention them. Please.

 
 

Damn. Now it is revealed that Bush has a time-machine:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/09/973635/-The-True-Story

 
 

What the self-loving, self-righteous Obot Choir here at Sadly, O!, doesn’t seem to understand is that Don Surber is a true blue example of that beating heart of Democrat America, the Appalachian Reagan Democrat Bubba Voters who comprise the actual backbone of the party, unlike your Obot Boys who stomp on that backbone with all cruelty and privilege. Well, the fact remains, to your boots go our boots, away from your Messiah in Cheat and to Hillary, who was set to win the Democratic nomination before male privilege took over in one of the more disgusting displays of totalitarian Obottism I’ve ever seen. Obama doesn’t care one iota for the rights of the American Woman, a fact that Don Surber is entirely right to point out. Now go back to your fat jokes and fart contests, Obots; we’ve left you long behind.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

It calls itself Iris, but this doesn’t have quite the same feel as the real Iris. Last week’s (Thorsday? Freyaday?) rang truer.

 
 

Anachronisms make shitty paradigms.

This fact has never stopped a hater.

H8rz gonna H8.

Besides, they really aren’t anachronisms as much as a romanticized version of history. There are people who, in their heart of hearts, truly believe that life was like Leave it to Beaver before the liberal slippery slope and hippies fucked everything up and made wars seem like a bad thing.

 
 

Now go back to your fat jokes and fart contests

I, for one, have never left fat jokes and fart contests. Bonerpill references too, also.

 
 

What about fart jokes and fat contests?

 
 

She says she has left us long behind, but we know that our fat jokes and fart contests are utterly irresistable to her.

 
 

What the self-loving, self-righteous Obot Choir here at Sadly, O!, doesn’t seem to understand is that Don Surber is a true blue example of that beating heart of Democrat America, the Appalachian Reagan Democrat Bubba Voters who comprise the actual backbone of the party, unlike your Obot Boys who stomp on that backbone with all cruelty and privilege. Well, the fact remains, to your boots go our boots, away from your Messiah in Cheat and to Hillary, who was set to win the Democratic nomination before male privilege took over in one of the more disgusting displays of totalitarian Obottism I’ve ever seen. Obama doesn’t care one iota for the rights of the American Woman, a fact that Don Surber is entirely right to point out. Now go back to your fat jokes and fart contests, Obots; we’ve left you long behind.

Can somebody translate this into English? I do not speak Authentic Gibberish and Babelfish seizes up on it.

 
 

Although… perhaps she has a point. Perhaps it is time for a change. I say next week we should do fart jokes and fat contests!

 
 

Iris said

meh. C- is being generous.

 
 

Iris! You are unkind to suggest we are fixated on farts. Incorrect too, as we are obviously all about POOP and PENIS.*

* unintentional VSantorumR

 
 

You may AHEM me vs, but I blame WP.

 
 

I have no room to AHEM anyone.

But I do find it rich that a woman who is defending someone staunchly anti-choice is whining about male privilege. Um, WHAT?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

VS, you were expecting consistency?

 
 

Isn’t it rich?
Are we ahem?
Iris is trolling again
Or maybe a sham.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns…

 
 

Send in the clowns…

NO! Gig’s already taken! No one’s gonna encroach on my territory.

 
 

Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns…

They are in that video at VS’ place….

 
 

I wish I was prego, nothing to do but sit around commenting at Sadly.

 
The Malfunctioning The Truth Robot
 

Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh. Ahhh, liberal droogs. Book mark this, libs. It is to laugh.

 
 

Needs more LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

 
 

They are in that video at VS’ place….

Not all of them!

 
 

I wish I was prego, nothing to do but sit around commenting at Sadly.

For a zombie with sensitive feelings, you sure do like to spew straight lines.

 
 

I wish I was prego, nothing to do but sit around commenting at Sadly.

The neverending exhaustion and pretty remarkable pain make it less fun than looks. I’m around–and boy am I aROUND!–a lot because I’m too tired and in too much pain to be anywhere else.

And this concludes my pity party!

 
 

What the self-loving, self-righteous Obot Choir here at Sadly, O!, doesn’t seem to understand is that Don Surber is a true blue example of that beating heart of Democrat America, the Appalachian Reagan Democrat Bubba Voters who comprise the actual backbone of the party, unlike your Obot Boys who stomp on that backbone with all cruelty and privilege.

There are Obots at Sadly, No!?

 
 

forcing me to subsidizng other women’s sex lives .

o, how i have longed to susidizng anyone’s sex life…

 
 

The Malfunctioning The Truth Robot said,

May 9, 2011 at 20:36

Ha! I know yo stole that from volume two.

 
 

o, how i have longed to susidizng anyone’s sex life…

Hey, as long you don’t have to sudsidize. Draw your own baths, sluts!

 
 

Thor, Mary Tyler Moore pants, The Obot Choir lurking under your bed singing this song, Bush with a time-machine, incontinence … what an odd frisky strange thread this be.

 
 

o, how i have longed to susidizng anyone’s sex life…

Sussudizng, by Phil Collnz

 
 

o, how i have longed to susidizng anyone’s sex life…

Considering the root word in subsidize is subside which dictionary.com defines as “to sink to a low or lower level”, I believe I have successfully subsidized many people’s sex lives.

 
 

Draw your own baths, sluts!

The Cialis tub pairs, explained!

 
 

Normally I am pro-drunk but this story brings out the meanie in me.

 
 

Draw your own baths, sluts!

Alas, I am no artist. I will have to commision vs to draw me a bath.

 
 

Draw your own baths, sluts!

The Cialis tub pairs, explained!

I LOLed.

 
 

Normally I am pro-drunk but this story brings out the meanie in me.

Breitbart gives us drunks a bad name.

 
 

Breitbart gives us drunks a bad name.

I know! Unfair! Don’t worry, I put him and Chris Hitchens in their own little compartment. And it’s not well-ventilated.

 
 

I gave some thought to Cheney’s view that our torturers should be decorated, not prosecuted. Once we agree, difficult questions remain. What medal(s) should be awarded?

Any number of options can be swept aside at once, with the Medal of Honor as their stand-in, since the criteria for the MoH are similar to (but more stringent than) those for service crosses, etc.

“Conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against any enemy of the United States; while engaged in military operations involving conflict […]” Note: military personnel only.

We may disagree with Cheney regarding the gallantry, intrepidity, and risk associated with waterboarding a helpless prisoner. When the prisoner objects, does that constitute conflict?…

Cheney should clarify whether he is proposing a new decoration, one that recognizes the qualities our terror warriors bring to the abbatoir (I almost typed battlefield there). I see that the “Medal for Humane Action was created for the single purpose of recognizing service during the Berlin Airlift.” That has a nice ring to it! Perhaps it could be revived or adapted. Medals for Humane Action for all our waterboarders!

 
 

From that link about Fightfart, I found this. This is one messed up dude.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

David Wu is my Rep. Looks like he’s getting primaried.

 
 

YES!!!!

Sadly, No!

That’s a powerchair, not a scooter.
.

 
 

David Wu is my Rep

Your’e so lucky. Mine’s a fucking BushCo dimwit. Cathy McMorris-Rogers. She occupies the seat once held by Speaker of the House Tom Foley.

 
 

I’d trade useless Blue Dog Jim Cooper for some used tissue. But Clarksville can keep Marsha Blackburn. Hopefully not, but… we don’t want her.
.

 
 

I’m glad I’m not a real American so I don’t nailed by tornadoes every year.

(letting you in on a rather hilarious workplace discussion)

 
 

Marsha makes me sad (and confused) every time I see her speak.

 
 

That’s a powerchair, not a scooter.

 
 

AWWWW

I put this tag

around that and WP eated it. WTF WP? What do you hate me? Why do you hate free expression?

 
 

I gave some thought to Cheney’s view that our torturers should be decorated, not prosecuted. Once we agree, difficult questions remain. What medal(s) should be awarded?

That’s simple, the Iron Cross Maiden.

 
 

OH MY GOD

FYWP. fuck. you.

<busted (Imagine there's a other way pointing carrot there)

 
 

I like to think of her as the south’s answer to Michele Bachmann.

As if one were needed.
.

 
 

Carrot? Carat? ^

Shame Carrots?
.

 
 

I thought his post was titled “Correcting Kristol” and I thought “Oh yay! Internecine wingnut slapfight! But no.

While we’re complaining about reps, mine is none other than Peter Roskam. I think that all the immigrants moving into DuPage County will turn this district blue eventually, but I’m sure they’ve been saying that for a while now.

 
 

I don’t … I’m just … I can’t even…

Fiscal issues first! Truce on social issues! Laser-like focus on jobs! Where are the jobs, Mr. Obama? Jobs, jobs, jobs!

Feh.

 
 

Can we please please please stop pretending that the Tea Pootierz are anything other than the most fucktarded, hateful, dumb Republicans now? PLEASE?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Relevant.

 
 

For Bachmann, no less than the “complete defunding of Obamacare” would do. For others, a total spending freeze and a small, short-term limit increase was acceptable, provided it came with guarantees of deep spending cuts. For Tea Party Founding Fathers chairman William Temple, a reinstatement of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and keeping women out of combat roles would also be acceptable.

Temple, who addressed the audience in his trademark colonial garb, is organzing the Tea Party Freedom Jamboree this fall in Kansas City. He railed against Boehner and the GOP leadership in his speech, calling them “wimpy RINOs” and even attacked Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Medicare-destroying plan passed by the House last month as a “so-called ‘courageous’ budget

did they really think the repubs care at all about them???

 
 

<I?I don’t … I’m just … I can’t even…

Repeal DADT? Bin Laden wasn’t captured until after the repeal of DADT- the greatest success in the GWOT was accomplished by GLBT troops because, as any ‘bagger would know, correlation equals causation.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

They’re trying to recruit our children, get their lifestyle taught in classrooms, and silence their opponents.

Well, it’s a choice! I mean, seriously, nobody’s born a religious fundamentalist.

 
 

did they really think

S, N!

SAtoSQ.
.

 
 

true blue example of that beating heart of Democrat America, the Appalachian Reagan Democrat Bubba Voters who comprise the actual backbone of the party

Before Edgar Allen Poe revised his story, the first draft was entitled “The Tell-tale Backbone”. Not many people know that.

 
 

long list of things the Republicans could do that would lead the “tea party movement as a whole” to “possibly forgive Boehner and the House Republicans a small bump in the debt limit.”

awwwww, isn’t that cute? the tp’ers think they have some sort of ‘power’…

 
 

Respect their Authoritah

 
 

the tp’ers think

ooops…there i go again with the unpossible!

 
 

But it might help save 300,000 or so babies that are aborted by Planned Parenthood each year. About half of them would become, when of age, mothers themselves.

Apparently in Surber Land, every woman becomes pregnant and gives birth. By force if necessary. When of age.

‘attacking the host…’
CALL THE INQUISITION.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Calling the Inquisition.

 
 

The amazing Kreskin told me Smut would call for the inquisition.

 
 

“Temple, who addressed the audience in his trademark colonial garb,”
I don’t think he can trademark 300 year old clothing designs.

 
 

You weren’t supposed to be expecting us.

 
 

Why is it ‘garb’ and not “fondly imagined version of what the very rich people would be wearing after extensive research of Mel Gibson’s “the Patriot”

 
 

Is Hillary too sexy to be secretary of State?

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/05/newspaper_photo.php
“An ultra-Orthodox Hasidic newspaper, Der Tzitung, has photoshopped Hillary Clinton from the iconic White House situation room photo taken during the Bin Laden raid. (They also ‘shopped out Director of Counterterrorism Audrey Tomason.) The paper has a policy against publishing photographs of women because it could be seen as sexually suggestive.”

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

I don’t think he can trademark 300 year old clothing designs.

Blast!

My ingenious plan to trademark the ermine cape, become a famous fashion designer, reintroduce the ermine cape as something all trendy young go-getters will need in order to be taken seriously at their snooty clubs and whatnot, and make a fortune…all fallen to pieces.

I will never forgive you. never!

 
 

I don’t think he can trademark 300 year old clothing designs.

well, maybe not legally…but dubya seems to have a trademark codpiece…so, take heart spearhafoc! just throw yourself into a ludicrous international event while wearing an ermin cape and reap the spoils!

 
 

or ermine…wevs…

 
 

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/05/tea-party-leader-well-take-the-debt-ceiling-hike-if-you-bring-back-dadt.php

Nothing says “I really really care about the debt and demand financial responsibility, it’s my top issue” like adding “but spend all you want if I get to kick the gays.”

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Okay, I admit it, my plan wasn’t for the money – it was to satisfy my ermine cape fetish. As long as everyone’s wearing ermine capes, I don’t care if I don’t see a penny from it.

 
 

just throw yourself into a ludicrous international event while wearing an ermin cape and reap the spoils!

But be sure to bring a long an impressive banner with some words on it like “operation instantiated” or something something.

 
 

Shuster is implying that Jeb Bush is throwing his hat in the ring for ’12, tomorrow.
.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Instantiating the operation.

 
 

As long as everyone’s wearing ermine capes

being a minnesotan, i would be down with this from nov.-may…

 
 

It’s because you’re dumber than a wrecked Chevy on cinder blocks.

I’d rather push my Chevy than ride in a Ford!

 
 

An ultra-Orthodox Hasidic newspaper, Der Tzitung, has photoshopped Hillary Clinton from the iconic White House situation room photo taken during the Bin Laden raid.

The Talmudiban… truly a shonda for the goyim.

 
 

Shuster is implying that Jeb Bush is throwing his hat in the ring for ’12, tomorrow.

will he ever have a better crowd to primary against?

 
 

Also, will Jebbie ever have a better primary crowd TO FIT INTO?

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Pushing the Chevy.

Riding the Ford.

 
 

Is that *David* Shuster? He’s still around somewhere?

 
 

Is that *David* Shuster? He’s still around somewhere?

On the twittiebox, I hear.
.

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Joe Shuster – the co-creator of Superman?

Frank Shuster – Canadian comedian from way back when?

They were cousins, apparently.

 
 

“Is that *David* Shuster? He’s still around somewhere?”

I’d heard the Clintons had him killed just like Vince Foster.

 
 

but dubya seems to have a trademark codpiece
Lacoste, I imagine.

An ultra-Orthodox Hasidic newspaper, Der Tzitung, has photoshopped Hillary Clinton from the iconic White House situation room photo taken during the Bin Laden raid.

They could have blacked out her face if the issue was to avoid lascivious thoughts in the minds of the readers. But no, they went full-photoshop and cloned furniture and wall-space to fill the gap, creating a whole fictitious reality in which Hillary Clinton never existed.
I am shocked, shocked to encounter dishonesty and stupidity from fundamentalist nutjobs!

 
 

Hey! they left the black mooselim guy in.

 
 

Hey! they left the black mooselim guy in.

Oddly enough, they didn’t photoshop a mighty beard on him, nor did they “cover” his head.

 
 

Uh, she covered it for modesty

 
 

An ultra-Orthodox Hasidic newspaper, Der Tzitung, has photoshopped Hillary Clinton from the iconic White House situation room photo taken during the Bin Laden raid…. The paper has a policy against publishing photographs of women because it could be seen as sexually suggestive.

Personally, I find situation rooms sexually suggestive.

 
 

Personally, I find situation rooms sexually suggestive.

Well, they are where debriefings occur…

 
 

I’d rather push my Chevy than ride in a Ford!

HA! Who’s from the Inland Northwest?

 
 

“Personally, I find situation rooms sexually suggestive”

As long as The Situation is nowhere around.

 
 

Tea Party mascot Billy Temple explains why DADT is such a threat to the precious bodily fluids of America’s Brave Warriors.

Why would House Republicans who know better be fostering inappropriate attractions in the intimacy of tents, bunks, barracks, platoons, subs, tanks, convoys, cockpits, latrines, showers, toilets and locker rooms when we are fighting wars in three Muslim nations?

I am confident that is an exhaustive list of the dangerous and exciting places one could imagine gay US soldiers are potentially in danger of having dangerous and exciting gay sex encounters, due to the care and thought which Mr. Temple must have put into creating it.

 
 

Also “Toilets” and “latrines”. Only if you have a republican wide stance

 
 

Mess halls, bo’sun’s chairs, galleys, base chaplains’ confessionals, enemy combatant detention cells, drone pilot VR helmets.

 
 

For those who are unaware of this gem…

The Florida legislatoore has strucked a blow for feedom and luberty! Preventing small children from accidentally shooting themselves is socialisticalism.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

What’s long, round, hard and filled with semen?

What? Oh, I see. I thought I was live. Never mind.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Hooray for less government interference!!!!1!1!

 
 

What’s long, round, hard and filled with semen?

Depends on how angry the kitchen staff are.

 
 

From Snorghagen’s link Although Florida’s Legislature is the first to approve the measure, it’s also being considered in other states, including North Carolina and Alabama.
Cruel people might make inferences, here. Bad people, bad people!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

If you liked the FL doctor thing, you’ll love this one from dear old Tennessee,

“So if they witness a kid being bullied because of sexual orientation, how will they be able to deal with that?” he said.

Campfield insisted that the bill would not prevent schools from addressing bullying. He said it’s all about families deciding what kind of sex education their children receive.

“This is stopping the advocating of one point of view over another,” he said.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Sorry, heres a link

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-04-22/news/29480742_1_gay-rights-activists-gay-family-ban-teachers

Also too, Republican Stacey Campfield, the bill’s sponsor, has argued the move is “neutral,” according to the Knoxville News Sentinel.

“We should leave it to families to decide when it is appropriate to talk with children about sexuality – specifically before the eighth grade,” he added.

 
 

“We should leave it to families to decide when it is appropriate to talk with children about sexuality

That’s right: keep the sexiness between parents and kids, where it belongs.

 
 

No no, N_B family sexuality is not hawt sexiness. That’s just for makin’ bebbies. Hawt sexiness is for when you’re out of town, somewhere it won’t affect the family values.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

If I get over my shyness, immagonna ask Iris to go to this festival .

May Fart Festival

 
 

Hawt sexiness is for when you’re out of town, somewhere it won’t affect the family values.

There’s no reason a man can’t enjoy a thoroughly satisfying sexual experience right there on his homestead, so long as he has access to a few ungulates that are sensitive to his needs.

 
 

I thought hawt sexiness was just for when you’re on vacay with your rentboy.

 
 

“We take our children to pediatricians for medical care — not moral judgment, not privacy intrusions,” she says.

i suppose they should ask if they have a ‘rifle’ and not a ‘gun’

 
 

Hooray for less government interference!!!!1!1!

yes, this dichotomy never ceases to amaze and amuse me…

 
 

“We take our children to pediatricians for medical care — not moral judgment, not privacy intrusions,” she says.

I bet Pedobear feels the SAME WAY!

 
 

And don’t both of those bills violate the first amendment?

 
 

This whole right to privacy stuff is very confusing.

 
 

Grover Norquist:

Boehner has put a sliding-scale price on debt-ceiling increases. Hey, Obama, you want to buy a debt ceiling increase of, say, $2 trillion that would take you past the next election? Fine, the going price is two trillion dollars in real spending cuts. Cannot afford that and hold your spending coaliton in place? Fine, you can buy a month of debt-ceiling relief, worth about $125 billion, for the reduced price of $125 billion in spending cuts. The price of the debt-ceiling hike is the the same amount — or more — of real spending cuts.

Yeah, that whole government-shutdown thing is a sure winner.

 
 

I should claim right to privacy when my gyno tells me to scoot down and put my feet in the stirrups. And checking for pooper polyps is RIGHT OUT.

 
 

I should claim right to privacy when my gyno tells me to scoot down and put my feet in the stirrups.

With or without the spurs? And how fast does the gyno go?

 
 


zombie rotten mcdonald said,

May 9, 2011 at 23:18

Also, will Jebbie ever have a better primary crowd TO FIT INTO?

fitting into the crowd.
~

 
 

Without and it seems to take FOREVER. It’s not the good kind of anything.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Speaking of Grover “not the cookie monster” did anyone read Krugman’s column on deficit and debt fear mongering?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/06/opinion/06krugman.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

 
 

Cinderblocks, it would seem, have very low self-esteem.
.

 
 

Encyclopædia Dramatica (RIP) (pours out 40).

It’s not quite dead.

 
 

“What’s long, round, hard and filled with semen? ”

A nuclear Submarine?

 
 

I hadn’t read that, P.M., but it’s what he’s been saying his blogs.

What does Washington currently fear? Topping the list is fear that budget deficits will cause a fiscal crisis any day now. In fact, a number of people — like Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson, the co-chairmen of President Obama’s debt commission — have settled on a specific time frame: terrible things will happen within two years unless we make drastic spending cuts.

Obama came out with an inadequate stimulus, he’s adopted GOP ‘deficit hawk’ language, and the Administration is proposing nothing further to address unemployment. You’re not going to get many Democratic congresscritters to stick their necks out if the President won’t lead.

P.S. I did post a somewhat incoherent comment on the wonkette to this effect the other day, but it was roundly downfisted The excuses the respondents made for this Administration and Obama leave me shaking my head. It seems the hope and change are all gone, in just two years.
~

 
 

“cockpits”

foxholes are better

 
 

Pushing the Chevy.

Riding the Ford.

Gassing the Hummer

 
Spearhafoc, who isn't seeing Thor until Thursday (appropriately enough)
 

Hmmm…

“Cocking the pit” or “pitting the cock”?

 
 

…better to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission…

Why do they call camels ‘ships of the desert?’

They’re full of Arab semen.

 
 

Beg.

You should.

 
 

I hate to bust you’re all’s bubbles and turn all your pretty talking points to POOP, but that there is a Oldsmobile.

 
 

Standard-issue thread-extender:

Calling the camel.

 
 

OT: Is the date/time stamp on Bruxelles time?

 
 

…the eight hour and twenty minute difference is confounding….

 
 

S’posed to be Central European Time. Give or take 20 or 40 mins.

 
 

All One Mittle-Europa Guy

 
 

That is one sexy man.

 
 

Michelle Obama literally is bringing a Negro “rap” “musician” to the White House even though he literally wants to literally burn George W. Bush alive!!!!!

 
 

I believe you mean “the literally White House.”

 
 

I overused the word on purpose, hoping to highlight the stupidity of this statement: “His ‘poetry’ includes . . . at least one passage calling for the burn[ing]’ of then-President George W. Bush.” The reference is to this:

why they messing with Saddam?
Burn a Bush cos’ for peace he no push no button
Killing over oil and grease
no weapons of destruction
How can we follow a leader when this a corrupt one

I’m not going to defend that on its merits as poetry or commentary (though in the latter case I basically agree with the sentiment), but it’s a stretch to interpret it as a call to actually light the president on fire.

 
 

You’d think the supposedly religious right would get the “burning bush” reference.

 
 

a call to actually light the (ex)-president on fire.

I believe Zombie Nation could support this initiative.

Plus, he’s saturated in alcohol, so he would light easy.

 
 

Say what you will leftists. Here is one of your own dismantling any argument you pointed headed fucks might have.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2013/04/10/philadelphia-abortion-clinic-horror-column/2072577/

 
 

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