The Soft Bigotry of Wingnut Welfare
Lord Andrew Throckmorton Farthington Stuttaford, the Seventh Duke of West Brixtonshire, who blogs at America’s Shittiest Website™ on climate issues thanks to the munificence of the Exxon-Mobil corporation and other purveyors of fine fossil fuels, shares with his dozen or so readers today a vile plot by the Ecuadorians to create a mandatory Earth Mother/Goddess religion that the U.N. will impose on the entire world as some sort of Green sharia law. The seeds of this plot were sown in the 2008 Ecuadorian constitution:
[H]ere, via Religion Dispatches, is a piece that discusses the ‘rights’ of the Earth, the eco-system and, well, just about everything. Yes, it’s an absurd premise, and one for which the writer clearly has some sympathy, but this extract from the new (2008) Ecuadorian constitution is still worth noting:
Nature or Pachamama, where life is reproduced and exists, has the right to exist, persist, maintain itself and regenerate its own vital cycles, structure, functions, and its evolutionary processes. Any person, people, community, or nationality, may demand the observance of the rights of the natural environment before public bodies.
This somewhat sinister drivel is [sic] presumably largely reflects the influence of the work of Ecuador’s somewhat sinister president Morales, the man who, in 2009, was declared by the president of the United Nations General Assembly, one Rev. Miguel D’Escoto Brockmann, to be a “World Hero of Mother Earth”.
Typical of the high-caliber blogging at America’s Shittiest Website™ is Lord Stuttaford’s notion that Evo Morales is the President of Ecuador. Sadly, No! Evo Morales is the President of, er, Bolivia, a country that doesn’t even border Ecuador and is more than a thousand miles away. Of course, I suppose to Stuttaford this is just a minor detail since both countries are populated by tiny little garlic-munching pepper-popping Spanish-speaking brown people.
Somehow or other, Lord Stuttaford discovered his error and rather than admit error and remove the reference to Morales from the post, he doubled down and continued to blame the provision in the Ecuadorian Constitution on the Bolivian President:
This somewhat sinister drivel
is presumably largelypresumably partly reflects the influence of the work of Bolivia’s somewhat sinister president Morales …
For those of you who do not speak fluent wingnut, “presumably” means that there is not a shred of evidence for Morales’s involvement in the Ecuadorian constitution other than that Lord Stuttaford doesn’t like Morales or the provision in question so the two things must necessarily be connected. Lord Stuttaford is presumably partly responsible himself for The Learning Channel, pumpkin-pie flavored coffee drinks, and Dothan, Alabama.
“Drill, baby, drill” = mother-fucking? Sounds about right.
Oh dear. These people would be funny if it weren’t for the fact they control the House.
He did actually correct it to “Bolivia’s” from “Ecuador’s” but still no evidence given to support this supposed influence.
Also love the HAW HAW ANIMISM IS DUM contingent. He is risen indeed!
So that’s why we have Dothan. Another mystery solved!
Thanks, Tigris. I meant to put the Bolivia correction in the second blockquote but forgot. I’m still presumably largely traumatized from having been kidnapped by Donald Trump last week.
Duke of West Brixtonshire? I thought the Clash took him out with “The Guns of Brixton.”
Somehow even the idiots who comment there noticed his mistake, presumably largely reflects the influence of the KLo.
Don’t you remember that hilarious sequence in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid where Paul Newman and Robert Redford robbed all the banks in Ecuador?
LOOKSIST!
More South American fossil fuel news.
~
fluent wingnut
Nuh-uh. Unpossible.
These shitheads are really terrified to be part of the ecosystem, aren’t they? I think a small part of them realizes we are shitting in our nest and so the have to double down on the whole “pollution is good! Humans number one!” argument.
I hope some gas company fracks some wells on his property.
It’s a slippery slope I tells ya.
You won’t be laughing when iguanas get the vote!!!!
They’re so cute when they’re fucking stupid.
.
Rotten comment mangoes…
Claiming the earth has rights is animism in pursuit of shirking any ethical acknowledgment of our duties to procreate, educate, protect, and sacrifice for the next generations who will inherit the earth. They want the environmental duties without granting the rights to the not-yet-living, because those rights go beyond the environmental scope into s@xual ethics.
Call it aborto-environmental-animism….
I am not fluent in this entirely unintelligible language with which they speak.
Wot doz thiz meyn?
I welcome our new animal overlords.
…our duties to procreate, educate, protect, and sacrifice for the next generations…
Futuristic Soshulism!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord Stuttaford is presumably partly responsible himself for…pumpkin-pie flavored coffee drinks
Bastard! So it’s his fault!
He’s also partly responsible for the amaretto-flavored ones, I presume?
Bwahahahaha!!
More “imaginary” communists for Tintin asshat, Sadly No!
‘Communists Coming to UCLA!’
the next generations who will inherit the earth.
Isn’t there a Greek who is going to inherit the earth?
OOOOHHHH COMMIES! SCAAARRRYY COMMIES!
1958 called, they want you back.
There are “real” communists under my bed.
Lord Stuttaford is presumably partly responsible himself for…pumpkin-pie flavored coffee drinks…
Damm Him! I bet he’s behind those “Pumpkin Scones” they try to sell you at Starbucks, too. Has anyone anywhere actually tried one of them? Talk about an insult to Mother Earth!
We do not want the Donalde under any circumstances.
I have Commies in my SHORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The somewhat sinister Evo Morales: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9rLr4LzPh84/TagPzwN47rI/AAAAAAAAjXY/_aYto6bt19c/s1600/evo-morales-1.jpg
Also, Miguel Brockmann? Really? Like some alternate universe male Michele Bachmann?
I for one have been sadly neglecting my procreating duties.
I’m con-create.
“Wot doz thiz meyn?”
I’m not sure. I’ll try to break it down.
The claim “the Earth has rights” is the same as “animism”.
Said claim is only made so that we can avoid saying that we have a moral obligation to “procreate, educate, protect, and sacrifice” for future generations.
We (liberals) want to give the Earth rights but give no rights to fetuses. This is because we are only concerned with the environment and not concerned with sexual ethics.
Umm….
Nope, makes no bloodly sense.
Nope, makes no bloodly sense.
Phew.
It’s not just me, then.
Imagine my relief.
(Big points for trying, that’s more than I could do).
Having grown tired of Donald Douglas’s incessant link-whoring in the comments I just banned his home IP. When he posts from his work address, I’ll ban that IP too. Poor dimwit never figured out that there is a difference between saying that he sees many imaginary communists and all communists are imaginary. I pity his students.
Methinks “animism” refers to the worship of Japanese moving-picture cartoons, no? So, it’s filthy, right?
He couldn’t figure out that calling his CC shitty wasn’t calling all CCs shitty. Either. Also too.
I am unable to come up with a hentai pun. My head is hanging in shame.
So, it’s filthy, right?
Right.
~
Only a communist would ban an American patriot.
Aw, Tintin, don’t ban El Donaldo; he’s such silly fun.
And as far as Ecuador/Bolivia goes, Stuttaford seems to have real comprehension problems. If anything, Ecuador having put it in their constitution first, Evo would seem to be the influenced.
A useless blog having been all over it two wks. ago.
Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Somewhat sinister! Brraaawk!
this blog is somewhat sinister.
Also, Miguel Brockmann? Really? Like some alternate universe male Michele Bachmann?
non-union mexican counterpart?
Not a cousin of Kent Brockman?
So Lord Sudafed acknowledges the mistake but overlooks the fact that this makes his whole article turn to runny poo? That’s, presumably, how you get a job at teh Corner, my friends
Do not ban Teh Dondalde, piñata Isreal!
Happy Easter, bunnies.
Also, too: Seriously? “The Donalde”??? He calls himself that? That must be one really shitty CC if they let third-graders teach there.
PENIS
Fuck the fucking commie who deleted my post. May you get drunk at a party and wake up between J-Load & K-Load.
“Drill, baby, drill” = mother-fucking? Sounds about right.
There’s an R. Crumb cartoon that would’ve been relevant to this comment but I cannot for the life of me find it.
The right-wing talk surrounding rights is so vigorous. They would never abrogate a right grounded in empirical fact, or holy writ, or something. Not ever, so you can stop asking.
Viva la revolucion hijos de putas!
Fuck the Donalde and the limo he rode in on.
I figured sacrificing for the future generations meant NOT fucking up the plant any worse than it already is!
i like the way he can’t quiiiiiite commit to “fully sinister.” either time.
Got a frog in your throat, Pupienus Maximus,?
Translating Looch’s rotten mango-
Liberals are hypocrites because they care about pussyfied Earth shit on the grounds of saving future generations, but they refuse to acknowledge that abortions and gay marriage will lead to a mass extinction of humanity within a small set of generations because European countries breeding at slightly below replenishment numbers equals OMG Demographic Winter!!11!!! Sharia Law!!!1!!
In short, it’s basically the same response most conservatives have when they are trying to be “intellectual”, which is in its most base form:
“Ha ha, liberals are stoopid because they don’t believe our braindead conspiracy theories and instead worry about actual problems with actual information”.
This somewhat sinister drivel is presumably largely reflects the somewhat sinister influence of the work of Ecuador’s somewhat sinister president Morales, the somewhat sinister man who, in 2009, was declared by the president of the somewhat sinister United Nations General Assembly, one Rev. Miguel D’Escoto Brockmann, to be a somewhat sinister “World Hero of Mother Earth”.
Actually, it is presumably largely reflects the somewhat sinister native religion of the entire fucking area which dates back to the somewhat sinister Inca Empire.
The fact is I’m getting AIDS reading this thread, cuz libruls are so gay. Why don’t you hippies get a haircut, eat a cheeseburger, and salute the flag one in a while?
Ya know, given that he’s such a well-known and well-documented idiot and liar who completely blows out of the proportion nine-tenths of everything he writes about, usually completely misunderstanding whatever it is he’s gibbering about, either accidentally because he’s a friggin’ moron or on purpose because he’s a disingenuous partisan hack, I wouldn’t be half surprised if Dumb Donalde’s scribbling wasn’t about a prominent capitalist who’s coming to UCLA to give a speech about How Having Money Is Awesome, Partly Because You Can Do Things That Aren’t Totally Evil With It or some such.
Ya shmuck.
Hogeye Grex said,
April 24, 2011 at 22:00
Happy Easter, bunnies.
Kill the wabbit???
~
“Somewhat sinister” means “not really black, just brown.” Unlike our own completely sinister President.
Sounds like someone would rather be in Bolivia.
Fucking the Donalde.
Cerberus – Clearly you are a far more perceptive Hound of Hades than I. I salute you, good madam.
“Fucking the Donalde.”
No thanks.
It’s still somewhat below par for wingnuts. Full Metal Wingnut requires claiming the error in which country Morales is president of is of course central to his point. Errors do not detract from wingnut arguments, they are proof of their correctness.
Fucking the Donalde.
Not even DKW’s mom is interested.
“They want the environmental duties without granting the rights to the not-yet-living, because those rights go beyond the environmental scope into s@xual ethics.”
Something about how keeping the earth clean is only a secondary consideration to forcing poor women across the world to give birth to babies they don’t want, because its more ethical to remove the rights of poor women who were probably raped by ugly Dukes of Wilkinshore Sword or Worcester Sauce than worry about global warming.
Something like that.
Pretty slow tonight, is everyone pooped out on hot-cross buns, Easter egg hunts and grandma’s boneless ham with sweet taters?
> s@xual
All aboard the Coltrane…
– K
I don’t know about other people but I’ve been reading a site that corrects all the grammatical errors in Twilight.
Here’s some soshulism for y’all. A few years ago I was broke enough to be eligible for fuel assistance up on the Rez and Hugo Chavez sent our Rez a grant for fuel assistance, and I got $250 bucks from that commie. You know what? Thank you President Chavez for caring more for our Indians than the fucking American government. We need more fucking commies in our government.
VIVA CHAVEZ!
Kill the wabbit???
The Lakota/Dakota/Nakota call us rabbit chokers, and for good reason. I grew up snaring and eating rabbits.
I hope Tintin lets Teh Donalde respond to that.
The Donalde is the world’s WORST CC teacher, which is really saying something! It’s like being the worst player on the Pittsburgh Pirates..
Chavez helped keep a lot of broke people from freezing to death in Mass, too. Though I suppose none of them were fetal, so a double tragedy if you’re an anti-any-South-American-dude-left-of-Pinochet-especially-if-he’s-proenvironment-ist like Sir Muskrat.
More seriously, wingnuts do understand that so long as anyone anywhere, no matter how minor the country or far away from them who has ideas that suggest that there is anything better than the depressing feudalism they defend, they must be vilified and stamped out before the serfs here start to wonder why they should not be able to retire until they’re 15 minutes from death and stop sending money to fund wingnut cruises.
Laughable as it is in the specifics, the broader mission here is deadly serious.
“they must be vilified and stamped out before the serfs here start to wonder why they should not be able to retire until they’re 15 minutes from death “
Ain’t that the truth. I just went over to Huffie Post that has a spread on the world’s most polluted places so I get to feel slightly better about my living standards and a lot worse about the state of the world as a whole.
See how I was able to take something that is a tragedy to other people yet not to myself and empathize with the suffering of others while also understanding how fucked we all are.
Why can’t wingnuts do that?
“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go [and] sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come [and] follow me.
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Matthew 19:19-22
That they do not listen to this makes me think of another quote:
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: “O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.” And God granted it.
Voltaire
Se cerevisiae, you are correct.
You weenises are all in bed, already? Or not awake? WhoTF can tell what fucking time it is in S,N! comments?
.
Matthew 6 is my personal favorite illustration of wingnut assholery/hypocrisy/sheer-inability-to-understand-the-religion-they-profess-to-follow.
Shame carrots on the lot of them.
Sadly Time is GMT, Universal Time or Zulu plus either half an hour or an hour & a half.
Clear now?
Approximately. Actually seems to be GMT plus 20 min. This may have something to do w/ what those furriners call “summer time.”
No, wait, devil-box seems to have advanced GMT for DST.
I give up!!
Sadly Time is calculated using irrational numbers.
~
Fuck the Donalde and the limo he rode in on.
The closest the Donalde has gotten to a limo is to unload the luggage from the trunk.
Sadly Time is calculated using irrational numbers.
It’s Metric!! Like converting Fahrenheit to Celsius. In beer.
Heheh, “Stuffaturd.”
In a dream I had my underwear on backwards. Boxers.
Sadly Time is inversely proportional to the mass of the posts.
Hi everybody!
My apologies for the unannounced mental health sabbatical.
I see the whingnutz are becoming proportionately more insane as we move closer to 2012.
So–who wants odds that Super Sarah sues The Donald™ for stealing her jokes?
grandma’s boneless ham
My grandma’s ham gets piles of bones.
It’s quiet…
too quiet.
How about one of those irritating strings of posts from the same dumbass trying to get attention?
tsam
mental health
How does it work?
Also, thanks for posting as ‘some’ had speculated that I was you under a new name.
Way to go tsam. First post in months and it killed the thread.
Also, thanks for posting as ‘some’ had speculated that I was you under a new name.
Buncha regular detectives around here.
I’m here to confirm that low sodium hunchback is a seperate entity. Or is he/she?….
Mental health really doesn’t work. I’ve found that our social paradigms about being mentally healthy are rather sick.
Way to go tsam. First post in months and it killed the thread.
Yes. Apparently I have not lost my skills.
I’m here to confirm that low sodium hunchback is a seperate entity. Or is he/she?….
Just what I thought you’d say!
~
Sadly Time is
GMT, Universal Time or Zulu plus either half an hour or an hour & a half.commie time, baby!I’m here to confirm that low sodium hunchback is a seperate entity. Or is he/she?….
i myself find it quite suspicious that tsam has suddenly re-appeared here at s,n! merely hours after low sodium was ruthlessly questioned about his/her identity…it would be irresponsible not to speculate. also, if he/she can still be called ‘low sodium’ he/she did not consume enough of grandma’s boneless or bone-filled ham…causing even more speculation, cuz it’s hard for me to type with these sausages that have replaced my fingers…
Our perception of mental health as a society are messed up. It is allegedly sane to go to college get a white collar job, bore ourselves silly for 45 years at work and run up astounding levels of credit card debt at home and die miserably a few short penurious years after retiring. And those same people who tell you that is sane will tell you it’s insane to try build a cyborg army and crush all who oppose you with giant gnashing steel teeth. Seems like a double standard to me.
bone-filled ham
Also, a ‘he’, as though you couldn’t tell from my manly comments.
We are one. We have been assimilated.
The fact that much of Ecuador’s economy is based on ecotourism, and that stewardship of the nation’s ecosystems makes sense from a “market” perspective, is lost on this mo-ran.
Heh… boning the ham…
Smoke and mirrors, baby. Smoke and mirrors. Make no attempt to solve the mystery, for inside this mystery you’ll find nothing more than an enigma.
It would be irresponsible not to speculate–especially in light of this new evidence presumably revealing the sinister plot afoot to enforce worldwide tree worship.
When the time is right, I may reveal my true true identity. The fact is, it is total not Gary Ruppert and I salute flags once in a while.
saluting the flag…
Also, a ‘he’, as though you couldn’t tell from my manly comments
The he/she was obfuscation to throw them off the trail–as is me responding to my own comment. They’ll never figure it out.
okay, so the donalde supposes that tintin is carl (or actor?), tsam and low sodium’s identities have been called in to question, vs & t&u have been strangely silent (as have most of the s,n! contributors) and gary only made one spelling error in *his* latest post…it’s like i don’t even know who i am anymore!!!111!
rusted out old camper, as our most trusted journalist, you must get to the bottom of this…or are you too lame-stream media to even bother?
Our perception of mental health as a society are messed up. It is allegedly sane to go to college get a white collar job, bore ourselves silly for 45 years at work and run up astounding levels of credit card debt at home and die miserably a few short penurious years after retiring. And those same people who tell you that is sane will tell you it’s insane to try build a cyborg army and crush all who oppose you with giant gnashing steel teeth. Seems like a double standard to me.
Yes. I agree. Cyborgs rule.
35 SN points for the next line WITHOUT GOOGLING IT.
the next line
Penis, penis, poop, poop.
or are you too lame-stream media to even bother?
He got scooped on the Equador story, didn’t he?
Penis, penis, poop, poop.
Cheater. You Googled that.
The closest the Donalde has gotten to a limo is to unload the luggage from the trunk.
Donalde is a rent boy!
Good to see you back, tsam!
And those same people who tell you that is sane will tell you it’s insane to try build a cyborg army and crush all who oppose you with giant gnashing steel teeth. Seems like a double standard to me.
Damn cyborg army n00bs, everyone knows that the proper way to crush the opposition is with a Scarlett Johansson clone army, because giant gnashing steel teeth got nothin’ on spectacular b00balciousness and generally sexitude.
Wow, my last comment was really grammatically unsound- I CAN HAZ WINGNUT WELFARE CHEX?
I am called-out and shamed,.
(by myself, apparently)
Major endorsement for Donold Trump! Not even a cyborg army can stop him now.
tsam is Scarlett Johansson?
Or am I?
tsam is Scarlett Johansson?
That would be SO awesome. Then I would be HAWT. And I could look at myself naked whenever I felt like it. Which would be pretty much all the time.
Are we Scarlett? Or are we those ghosty type guys from the 2nd Matrix?
I for one welcome our cyborg Scarlett Johanson overlords.
Shorter (but not by much) John Hinderaker
Uh……..
I’ll be back in a few Sadly minutes…………..
Howdy, Helmut.
Well, of course it is insane. While cyborg army is powerful, it simply is not cost effective. It requires heavy amounts of surgery, lots of expensive hardware and has overall a very high maintenance level. It’s a real money sink. That is why most overlords choose cyborgs as henchmen and bodyguards, and instead fill the minion positions in army with brainwashed regular people/fanatics, zombies/mutants or stupid aggressive people who want to shoot guns and hurt other people/teaparty members.
Cost effective conquer is all about the force selection and deployment. When in doubt, remember:
“First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”
Can the other two Powerfools please write some shit so undeniably horrid and inhuman that they are also forced to stop opining publicly or face unemployment?
Soon?
Please?
Good to see you back, tsam!
Thanks dude–good to be back!
Wow, my last comment was really grammatically unsound- I CAN HAZ WINGNUT WELFARE CHEX?
Not until you can fill an entire internet column attempting to prove that any belief that we abandoned during the Enlightenment is true, and that we should be real real scared and that voting for a teabagger is our last, best hope for mitigating the scourge of whatever the latest outrage is.
Grrr. FYwordfilter.
Can the other two Powerf00ls manage to write some posts that are hideously offensive enough to get them forced out of either blogging or work?
Soon?
Please?
Cost effective conquer is all about the force selection and deployment. When in doubt, remember:
“First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”
WINNER. Though times have changed. First, you’d take Manhattan, then take Beijing. Berlin is merely for spoils these days. Strategically, it has no real value since the decline of the Soviet Empire.
“First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”
I feel as though I’m missing a pop culture reference? I can haz enlightenment plz?
(I will say that there are certain sections of Manhattan that I wouldn’t advise teh cyborgs to try to invade).
Not until you can fill an entire internet column attempting to prove that any belief that we abandoned during the Enlightenment is true, and that we should be real real scared and that voting for a teabagger is our last, best hope for mitigating the scourge of whatever the latest outrage is.
Or unless you’re a teabagger icon, like Ronald Reagan, because he’s an icon of awesomeness and you’re a pinko subversive commie traitor if you point out his non-teabaggerish governing decisions.
Leonard Cohen, “First We Take Manhattan”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnCR8kSSmqw
That link does not look at all like what you’d expect from 1980s synth-pop-poetry on German tv. No, wait. It’s definitely exactly what you’d expect from 1980s synth-pop-poetry on German tv.
Leonard Cohen
First, We Take Manhattan
Not the official video, but the first one I could find. Not pop culture–this is the perfect anthem for every blossoming megalomaniac.
Cost effective conquer is all about the force selection and deployment. When in doubt, remember:
“First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”
I dunno, beautifying all those weapons is pretty expensive!
That link does not look at all like what you’d expect from 1980s synth-pop-poetry on German tv. No, wait. It’s definitely exactly what you’d expect from 1980s synth-pop-poetry on German tv.
I dunno, I expect 1980’s German synth-pop to be more gemütlich.
I’m going to let the YouTube comments say it all on BBBB’s link: “you can say whatever you want, but this song and this singer are still more creativ and talented than? justin bieber and everything he did…”
While cyborg army is powerful, it simply is not cost effective. It requires heavy amounts of surgery, lots of expensive hardware and has overall a very high maintenance level. It’s a real money sink. That is why most overlords choose cyborgs as henchmen and bodyguards, and instead fill the minion positions in army with brainwashed regular people/fanatics
Now, see, I’d brainwash people to pay for their own goddam cyborgification. Reality TV shows, People and suchlike rag mags talking up so-and-so’s latest upgrades and pushing the envy angle until it’s the latest ultra-desirable plastic surgery. Then pimp the pity angle so politicians of all stripes push vouchers so no one is deprived. Then I issue the order to DESTROY ALL EVERYTHING.
Thanks y’all (will watch YouTube links at home later) –
Now, see, I’d brainwash people to pay for their own goddam cyborgification.
But who pays for their brainwashification?
We’ll go to Yonkers
Where true love conquers
Um, tigris? I’m detecting a little too much planning and preparation in your post. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me just a little.
Cost effective conquer is all about the force selection and deployment. When in doubt, remember:
“First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”
Well, I find it is more practical to go to war with the army I have, than the army I wish I had. Thus, cyborgs. That’s a good motto too, but I prefer, “Heute die Welt! Morgens die Sonnensystem!”
Note to self: Hire Tigris as planning coordinator.
Look into my eyes
We’ll go to Yonkers
Where true love conquers
There’s a staute of Ella near the hauptbanhof in downtown Yonkers. Ella spent her formative years in the “City of Gracious Living”.
Um, tigris? I’m detecting a little too much planning and preparation in your post. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me just a little.
He’d be lying even more if he said it didn’t turn him on a lot.
Instapundit goes birther, suggests others who do face danger.
Instapundit goes birther, suggests others who do face danger.
Yeah, I hear Beck and Trump were both whisked off to an internment camp in a black Mariah.
I like how Insty and his brave anonymous reader thinks it’s hilarious and damning that you (supposedly) need to show more proof of birth to get a passport than to be president . . . without realizing that Barack Obama was issued a U.S. passport like 40 years ago, and which he would’ve renewed at least as recently as 2004, considering his travels as a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
Now, I’m no “birther”, but not being a fan of Obama I joked to the postal employee that, “I needed to present my long form birth certificate to get a passport, but not to be President?”
If only Obama had a passport, then we’d KNOW!
DAMMIT MARK YOU DIDN’T LOOK INTO MY EYES.
You were pithier, though, so you win.
Issuing a passport.
“Yeah, I hear Beck and Trump were both whisked off to an internment camp in a black Mariah.”
Welcome to Mariah Law, libtards.
By the way, it so happens that I’m in the same state as the Instapundit correspondant. It also happens that I got everything together for my step-daughter’s passport last year and helped my sister out with hers too. The only birth certificate required was what can picked up at city hall by anyone at any time for $12. It is in no way “long form.”
I love the whole “long form” bullshit. The president produced his birth certificate, and all the wingnuts bawled, “not that one, the other one!”
They do love moving those goalposts, don’t they?
Instapundit goes birther, suggests others who do face danger.
Except, y’know… the person who “wrote” Glenny is, uh… LYING.
There’s no “short form” vs. “long form,” at all. There’s a ceremonial document issued by the hospital (used to have the baby’s footprints and a lot of other stuff on it, length, weight, etc.), and usually was done up in a document holder covered in satin and had a color/gender-coordinated ribbon on it. It is absolutely useless throughout the 50 states for ID purposes. Then, there’s the document issued by the state, often called “certificate of live birth,” but not always. Sometimes, the department issuing it is called “Bureau of Vital Statistics,” sometimes something else, depending on the state. THAT is what you need to get a driver’s license, state ID or U.S. Passport. That because law under G.W. Boosh, when the DHS was created.
How do I know this? I let my driver’s license expire a few years ago, and simply showing up at the DoS with the state-issued expired license was insufficient to renew — no; I had to order a “certificate of live birth” from the state in which I was born.
Thanks, Dubya, for helping install a Kenyan usurper!
.
But that’s the one that lists his race as “white” and religion as “Muslim” and father as “Malcolm X” and author of autobiography as “Bill Ayers”!
But that’s the one that lists his race as “white” and religion as “Muslim” and father as “Malcolm X” and author of autobiography as “Bill Ayers”!
It also lists his occupation as
Shropshire Slasher“usurper”.Shocked! Shocked, I tell you! It was the Applebees taxi driver. Completely legit.
Am I the only one to find the “Heh” to be the text equivalent of a backpfeifengesicht?
Let’s see–“Eath Mother/Goddess religion” (Gaianism): The belief that all life on Earth can be viewed as interconnected and interdependent, and that this relationship should be revered as sacred.
–totally nutz
Versus: the belief that a holy Jewish zombie carpenter, who was actually his own father, demands ritual canabalism from his followers to prevent him from sentencing them to a fictitious eternal afterlife of pain and torture.
–totes logical
Dang. I wuz gonna post a link for THE version of the Cohen song, from his recent tour. Can’t find a decent one though, all bootleg crap. I have the DVD – it’s awesome.
Earth Day sucks when compared to Christmas. Case closed.
OOOOOOOOOOOMG.
Verbatim Jonah Goldberg:
Wyoming is a hotbed of leftist politics?
Substance makes baby Lenin cry.
Wyoming is a hotbed of leftist politics?
Well, they’re probably further to the left than Jonah is.
Earth Day sucks when compared to Christmas. Case closed.
Not true- nobody gets a lump of coal on Earth Day!
Plus, I’d rather have the Earth Day Dryad coming into my house than that fat guy in the red suit.
Oh, the rest of that Jonah post is a beaut. It’s basically three paragraphs of thinking through “why are there still liberals when the liberal gene only gets passed to aborted babies?”
We’ll have to wait for the latest Write-Jonah’s-Column-For-Him project finishes up.
Californians retiring to Wyoming?
I’ve long pondered writing a big piece for the magazine on how liberal areas of the country, chiefly California but also New York City and Boston, export more liberalism than they can consume domestically.
They also pay for all the nice shit the red states have.
Pantload is hilarious- he spends more time trying to get other people to write his column than he does actually writing.
Harrison Ford and a few other Hollywood types, maybe?
I blame Canada for SMcG’s nimble fingers.
54-40 or type!
Emigrants from Massachusetts moved Vermont further to the left than Massachusetts and got the process started before they even got there. Why, it’s a good ol’ fashioned Pachamama day miracle!
Nimble fingers might have produced a comprehensible sentence.
For finishes for clod’s sake.
“Earth Day sucks when compared to Christmas. Case closed.”
Well. I guess this is your way of letting me know that you did not enjoy my Earth Day gifts of Fleshlights and Trucknutz. Fuck you all.
You could’ve, VS, but your Earth Day gifts got me out of the mood.
Comprehensible sentences are for elitist snots. I think my blog proves they are overrated.
vs — Trucknutz are illegal to display on vehicles in Tennessee.
Not that I have a trailer hitch on my scooter, but…
.
“You could’ve, VS, but your Earth Day gifts got me out of the mood.”
Oh, well it’s good to know you got some use out of the Fleshlight!
Moar Jonah:
When “all of the other variables” involve every single fucking thing about how the world actually works the caveat has a real dulling effect on your argument.
“vs — Trucknutz are illegal to display on vehicles in Tennessee.”
What about Fleshlights? Ok, that visual is making me giggle. I am ,like, 8.
No pro-choicer has ever had children nor have any self-styled pro-lifers ever had abortions they’d deny to others.
What about Fleshlights?
In a state that just made it illegal to say the word “homosexual” in a classroom? Hmmm.
.
Won’t someone PUHLEEEEZE think of the Fleshlights?
I think vs is tsam.
Aren’t the liberal demographics due to influx of the illegal swarthies?
From the mark f link comments:
“I agree with MarkW. My 11 year old is constantly being shot down for his views or correcting his teacher’s poor knowledge of facts.”
ROFLMAO!!! Is he now?!
“No pro-choicer has ever had children nor have any self-styled pro-lifers ever had abortions they’d deny to others.”
100% true.
Wait…
Shorthand for “reality.”
“Then we take Berlin” I so get the Southern Hemisphere, from in the future, prize.
I would like the velour covered truknutz and the Hawt lesbians video, please Wayne.
Plus, a little help with holding all the variables at bay here! The burning torch is beginning to sputter!
Also, too,
holding the variables.
“No pro-choicer has ever had children nor have any self-styled pro-lifers ever had abortions they’d deny to others.”
“I find the logic fairly unassailable, as far as it goes — i.e. if you hold all of the other variables at bay”
I’ll just send this to Jonah to help him with his next column.
Is every commenter at NRO a parody troll? Because there’s 22 comments in that thread right now and I think 17 of them put forth the argument that public schools and universities murdered God and replaced him with Marx.
“I’ve long pondered writing a big piece for the magazine on how liberal areas of the country, chiefly California but also New York City and Boston, export more liberalism than they can consume domestically. Retired Californians in Washington State, Wyoming and Oregon have moved politics to the left. Emigrants from Massachusetts have pushed Vermont and NH left.”–Jonah Goldberg
Jonah’s piece is gonna suck mightily. I wonder how far he’ll push the market metaphor, which is just awful here. Any attempt to deploy it will just distort the social (inc. non-metaphorical market) forces at work. Jonah has “long pondered” polishing a big turd instead of flushing it. That’s actually a good, if unoriginal, metaphor for his creative process…
Congressman Jude Marx.
And no one seems to realize that the “liberal” states aren’t actually losing population, they just increased at a slower rate and for some reason congress seems to be locked at 435 seats forever.
Brainwashing costs too, you can’t just raise your hands and cry “Hallelujah”, it takes more then that. And letting them get influenced by the cybernetics can backfire. Trust me, single control system is better. Less moving parts, less overlap, better “us vs. them” identification. Either brainwash or co cyborg, don’t try both. You end up with uncybered brainwashees and unbrainwashed cyborgs, and then there will be confusion on who is “us” and who is “them”. You know minions get confused easily.
ROFLMAO!!! Is he now?!
So school involves knowledge of Justin Beiber lyrics now?
From Substance’s link:
You know who else was an Eagle Scout? Albert Belle.
You can expect a cameo from Steven Crowder and Alfonzo Rachel.
Alright, I never miss an Alfonzo Rachel film.
“Hey, kids, there’s a new Alfonzo Rachel film, coming out just in time for school!“
The Beibs causes confusion in the conservative mind. See, he’s a Canadian, he’s anti-choice (apparently), but firmly pro-single payer healthcare (or whatever the hell they have up in the Great White Beauty Way to Go North).
If you have anecdotes, data, insights about all that please send along.
Nice to know he believes that all three are the same. And would it kill the guy to at least walk into a library?
The Beibs causes confusion in the conservative mind. See, he’s a Canadian, he’s anti-choice (apparently), but firmly pro-single payer healthcare (or whatever the hell they have up in the Great White Beauty Way to Go North).
..and definitely old and experienced enough to have formed a coherent political ideology.
Mark F – “You know who else was an Eagle Scout? Albert Belle.”
You made me inadvertently learn something about Baseball. For that, I will hate you forever.
Do they sell cheeseburgers at the library?
And would it kill the guy to at least walk into a library?
With a priest and a rabbi?
Perusing Big Hollywood thanks to Substance McG, it appears that they’re very concerned with what Credit-to-His-Race Tyler Perry and They’ll-Call-Us-RAAAAAACIST-If-Use-That-Word Spike Lee think of each other. I do not understand these people.
And would it kill the guy to at least walk into a library?
No, but it might break his nose.
Actually, his belly would contact the library wall before his nose, so he’d never break his nose by walking into a library.
Damn fact checking gets in the way of my WINGNUT WELFARE CHECK!!!
Brainwashing costs too, you can’t just raise your hands and cry “Hallelujah”, it takes more then that.
Ahem!
Really now.
I was gonna do a blog entry asking why Tyler Perry hates Black people. ‘Cuz, seriously…his stuff is just…heinous.
Also…just come out of the closet already, dude.
Is the NRO commenter “Redfate” from here? If so, well done:
Brainwashing costs too, you can’t just raise your hands and cry “Hallelujah”, it takes more then that.
Actually….yes you can
You can even make a fuckload of money doing it. Not a bad way to fund a quest for world domination…
Anyway, this spreading liberalism, it couldn’t possibly be because people in these states have come to prefer “liberal” solutions to their social issues, voting for them in a democracy and whatever. It must be because retired California hippies are smearing their germs across the heartland!
What I love about this is that a few months ago, conservatives were trumpeting about the populations movement away from the North and towards the South and West as proof of conservative victory by people who’d seen the light. Ahem. What, exactly, made them think those DamYankees wouldn’t bring their politics with them?
I was gonna do a blog entry asking why Tyler Perry hates Black people. ‘Cuz, seriously…his stuff is just…heinous.
Also…just come out of the closet already, dude.
Boondocks beat u to that last point…supposedly, Perry fired people after the episode aired.
As for the first: Spike Lee has gone on record calling it “buffoonery.”
Do they sell cheeseburgers at the library?
Hmmm…”Books & Burgers”…
Pryme, I’m with Spike.
Chris, in the jonah comments, Yankees are helpfully instructed to “assimilate!”
Chris, in the jonah comments, Yankees are helpfully instructed to “assimilate!”
Special emphasis on “ass”.
Chris, in the jonah comments, Yankees are helpfully instructed to “assimilate!”
Right. Everybody should “assimilate” to be just like the Average Conservative Voter.
So, when exactly is the DamReb voter going to “assimilate” into the United States and stop waving that fucking flag of a wannabe foreign nation everywhere he goes? Cause that’s not exactly assimilated behavior.
“If you have anecdotes, data, insights about all that please send along.”
Dear Jonah: the thing you’ve been pondering is a big turd. You don’t have to flush it, but don’t polish it into another Liberal Fascism.
(I would send him this insight, but he’d probably take it the wrong way, as evidence that his liberal import-export metaphor is deeper than he intuited.)
Jonah Goldberg, who got his job begging for money to pay his six-figure salary because his parents were connected, makes fun of a disabled guy for being underemployed in a shitty economy.
What I love about this is that a few months ago, conservatives were trumpeting about the populations movement away from the North and towards the South and West as proof of conservative victory by people who’d seen the light. Ahem. What, exactly, made them think those DamYankees wouldn’t bring their politics with them?
It’s a pincer move, the Yankees and the Messicans are surrounding the rednecks, and will force them to eat arugula tacos.
“El camino (desfile?) al mar!”
Hell, they can’t even get tigris, Matt T. and me to ASSimilate.
I still use the joke that I had to provide more documentation to travel an hour south of Miami than Obama did to become President.
OMG…i bet he is the hit of every cocktail party he is invited to…
“If you have anecdotes, data, insights about all that please send along.”
This sounds like it could be a great opportunity for some ratfuckery!
Hell, they can’t even get tigris, Matt T. and me to ASSimilate.
I blame race music!
Ereebodee like to partee with the birfers!!!!
Am I the only one to find the “Heh” to be the text equivalent of a backpfeifengesicht?
all i know is it makes me never want to say it again…dammit…
“I blame race music!”
I blame the proliferation of novelty-size black dildos.
Novelty-size?
It’s twue! It’s twue!
“Jonah Goldberg, who got his job begging for money to pay his six-figure salary because his parents were connected, makes fun of a disabled guy for being underemployed in a shitty economy.”
J-Go:
“The younger Cammer didn’t grow up on the government dole. But he clearly grew up on a dole. ”
Damn lazy kids, and their reliance on parental welfare.
This thread is presumably largely reflects much wit, general hilarity, razor-sharp observations, and complex conundrums about multiple identities. (I’m looking at you, tsam…..or am I?)
Thanks to all who have contributed. (The Cyborg Army strand was outstanding!)
Have fun!
extreme ire has wreaked havoc with me grammar…
and jonah…i really hate your glamour shots photo…
This thread is presumably largely reflects much wit, general hilarity, razor-sharp observations, and complex conundrums about multiple identities. (I’m looking at you, tsam…..or am I?)
That’s hunchback you’re looking at–unless you see Scarlett Johanson naked.
And it gives you the sense of how tough the opposition to Ryan’s plan – and vision – will be when so many Americans are content to endure their lot in life rather than lift a finger to change it.
Says the lazy-ass sack of crap who only has a gig because his mother was a backstabbing wretch who went after the GOP’s contemporary Public Enemy Number One. Damn, he’s a shitbag.
I could swear I’ve read that social conservatives have a much higher fertility rate than urban liberals.
um…duh, jonah? prolly cuz urban liberals are out doing stuff with other people while nobody wants to hang out with the social conservatives leaving them to stay at home, read the bible and bang each other…
That’s hunchback you’re looking at–unless you see Scarlett Johanson naked.
At least she has a good excuse for being slightly hunched over.
extreme ire has wreaked havoc with me grammar…
Understandable. It’s difficult to control anger when a fat piece of shit is making generalized judgements about the lives of others in an attempt convice idiots to help him get fatter and piece-of-shittier.
I second “FUCK YOU, JONAH”.
They say algore is fat. Whatfuckingever.
I could swear I’ve read that social conservatives have a much higher fertility rate than urban liberals.
You could swear lotsa stuff
piece-of-shittier.
must remember this one…
Let the record show that the book I am currently reading mentioned both Fleshlights and trebuchets in the space of a few pages. I SHIT YOU NOT.
You could swear lotsa stuff
i like the fact that it has a pump dispenser…also verr, verr nice to have you back tsam!
must remember this one…
I was going to go with “more oppulent” or something that made me sound all smart n shit, but the I thought this term better suited the Pantload of Douchiness.
Let the record show that the book I am currently reading mentioned both Fleshlights and trebuchets in the space of a few pages. I SHIT YOU NOT.
Yyyyeahhh. I would never read …what’s the name of that book?
mentioned both Fleshlights and trebuchets in the space of a few pages. I SHIT YOU NOT.
first of all, kudos for your ‘interesting’ taste in reading materials…also, what are the fleshlights?!? i vaguely remember something about them, but since i got attacked by spamware on friday, i have been very cautious about googling at work…
…the book I am currently reading mentioned both Fleshlights and trebuchets in the space of a few pages…
Both useful items, but absolutely NOT interchangeable. Ever.
i like the fact that it has a pump dispenser…also verr, verr nice to have you back tsam!
Thanks! It’s good to be back….except for the whole identity crisis thing.
Pfft! Armies of anything are useless in world-domination endeavors. Cyborgs always turn on their masters, and brainwashed minions always end up overcoming the control over them through the power of love or some such crap.
No, what you really need are Doomsday Devices. I happen to have a few black hole generators lying around and I could let them go for a fraction of what their worth. I will also accept Scarlett Johanson as payment.
J-Go:
“The younger Cammer didn’t grow up on the government dole. But he clearly grew up on a dole. ”
Damn lazy kids, and their reliance on parental welfare.
Childhood is theft. Next up: email me your pro-life anecdata for a column!
*they’re worth, also.
In an effort to encourage tsam to make his return permanent, I just want to say that the thread is not dead.
Yet.
bbkf, “interesting” is a nice way of saying “trashy,” and I appreciate that. (It’s a very silly paranormal romance.)
I can’t believe I am linking to Fleshlights.
the book I am currently reading mentioned both Fleshlights and trebuchets in the space of a few pages
Let the record show that I did not write it. I would never stoop to using a pseudonym.
Oh, I didn’t see you got in trouble for Googling. They are just a vagina-esque sex toy.
In an effort to encourage tsam to make his return permanent, I just want to say that the thread is not dead.
Yet.
Just a matter of time, my friend. I still live on the Left Coast. Still stirring while the rest of you sleep….
Scarlett Johanson naked
Damn, just returned…..
BBL
Yes, “Kresley Cole” sounded too mundane for you.
Have they taken the rotating knives out of the build-your-own Fleshlight options?
I can’t believe I am linking to Fleshlights.
Note that there is a “See it in action” video on this site, which I totally did not watch like four times or anything.
thanks, vs…must investigate this when i get home…mother’s and father’s days are coming up, you know…
Have they taken the rotating knives out of the build-your-own Fleshlight options?
yes, they’ve been replaced by saws-alls…
OK, I was actually thinking of kiddingly apologizing for making this thread so Fleshlight-centric…but then Substance and tsam made me laugh, so, live with it, folks.
I really recommend the “cleaning and care” video regarding the shipping rod.
SHIPPING ROD.
He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes (Proverbs 13:24)
Think about it
If you have anecdotes, data, insights about all that
Ordered by decreasing importance.
so many Americans are content to endure their lot in life rather than lift a finger to change it.
Explaining, for instance, the absence of plump entitled pundits dangling from lamp-posts.
I mean, say what you will about Broder and Friedman using something a cab driver tells them to generalize the opinions of millions of people, at least they most likely go out and actually meet that cabbie (or keep it quiet if they are just making him up) – Goldberg wants others to send them their “a cabbie told me he doesn’t want to tax the rich” stories.
No matter how low the conventional press sinks in terms of firing all the fact checkers, publishing lunatics on the WaPo and WSJ opnion pages, he said, she said and false equivalencies, the wingnut press always finds a way to sink lower – where second hand anecdotes are now proof enough for them.
Have they taken the rotating knives out of the build-your-own Fleshlight options?
The fireants custom feature is still available.
Ask The Donalde. He’ll tell you.
They are just a vagina-esque sex toy.
Only one flavour??!? If they don’t come in hokey-pokey then I SHA’N’T BE BACK.
Explaining, for instance, the absence of plump entitled pundits dangling from lamp-posts.
And bankers.
The other Hokey Pokey.
Coming in hokey-pokey.
You got your rotating knives in my Fleshlight!
You got your Fleshlight in my rotating knives!
Two great feelings that feel great together.
.…small balls of sponge toffee…
“And bankers.”
Well, if you hang a plump, entitled pundit from an average-sized banker, neither of them dies. It’s pointless.
Would a flaming fleshlight keep the variables at bay?
It’s rare that one of Sub’s links evoke a feeling of benign nostalgia rather than, er, you know.
The contact Taser/Fleshlight combo is still available.
Bankers from the lamp…
Oh, never mind.
.…small balls of sponge toffee…
Sound easier to deal with than what I came equipped with.
talk show host out of st. paul says that desiring to conserve oil means you ‘want to wreck our country…’
Sound easier to deal with than what I came equipped with.
interest, newsletter, website?
The combination Fleshlight/Trebuchet has inadequate safety labeling, IMHO.
The combination Fleshlight/Trebuchet has inadequate safety labeling, IMHO.
you’re not supposed to use it like that!
Oh sure, NOW you tell me.
Who knew they’d actually fly that far?
No matter how low the conventional press sinks in terms of firing all the fact checkers, publishing lunatics on the WaPo and WSJ opnion pages, he said, she said and false equivalencies, the wingnut press always finds a way to sink lower – where second hand anecdotes are now proof enough for them.
Goblow’s pilaster is published by the LA Times.
Only one flavour??!? If they don’t come in hokey-pokey then I SHA’N’T BE BACK.
What about the fleshlight leads you to believe it wouldn’t be a horribly hokey pokey?
It’s rare that one of Sub’s links evoke a feeling of benign nostalgia rather than, er, you know.
VS has dethroned Sub in the realm of invoking er, you know….
Well played, VS. Well played.
You realize you’ve now challenged the master. Beware the links.
Customizing the Fleshlight
Pro-lifers can pass their values on to their children; those who abort their children can’t.
Children are passive, infinitely malleable recipients for the attitudes and values of their parents. Property.
I expect 1980?s German synth-pop to be more gemütlich.
Do not make me link to Grönemeyer videos or anything else Schlager-related. They inevitably lead to drinking.
small balls of sponge toffee
Worst cyborg prosthetics EVAH.
I will forever bow before the master. I will never reach the, um, heights/depths Sub has reached.
those who abort their children can’t.
sometimes we call this ‘a good thing…’
reaching the heights
reaching the depths
OH–while I was on leave, I DO hope that John Kyl was thoroughly raked for his “Not intended to be factual” lie about Planned Parenthood.
I’m sure everyone else caught the hilarity of lying, being caught in that lie, and then admitting he lied by saying he lied and acting like saying it was intended to be a lie should put everyone’s concerns about lying on the Senate floor to rest.
I guess it would actually BE funny if there was a newspaper headline that read “KYL LIES ON SENATE FLOOR” instead of the usual crap they like to call news.
“Children are passive, infinitely malleable recipients for the attitudes and values of their parents. Property”
Woo-hoo! I’m gonna make mine a sparkly mini-pony that poops diamonds and cotton candy!
that poops diamonds and cotton candy!
hopefully at the same time, or tiny diamonds…otherwise li’l dudeskull the sparkly mini-pony will be quite cranky at poopy time…
KYL LIES ON SENATE FLOOR
… screaming and kicking his feet.
You want the same thing every day.
tsam, this might interest you
This too
bbkf, no kidding. But on second thought, I think I just want a cuddly little Dudeskull. Who maybe doesn’t poop at all.
Pro-lifers can pass their values on to their children; those who abort their children can’t.
If I tried to write a statement like this, I would throw up on my own hands. The stupidity of this astounds me. Bastards are so lucky to have an audience full of people who are utterly incapable even the most simple logic.
Wouldn’t pro choicers have been extinct by now? Am I alive right now?
Ha! I had never heard that song. My fave KISS song is this.I actually have it in my liberry.
True story: when I was little there was a drug/sundries store that also sold albums. I thought the KISS album covers were so fucking scary, I couldn’t look at them as i walked by them.
Bastards are so lucky to have an audience full of people who are utterly incapable even the most simple logic.
Might explain why they think homosexuality is a choice that people get recruited to, because NO GAYBIES!
Ooooooh, THAT’S what gaybies is? I thought it was when gay people foamed at the mouth and bit you.
I thought the KISS album covers were so fucking scary, I couldn’t look at them as i walked by them.
Well, to balance that out, as a kid I was a member of the KISS Fan Club.
(I got better. :))
Might explain why they think homosexuality is a choice that people get recruited to, because NO GAYBIES!
Aw crap. Now you’re making me think and I hate that.
So the question is: Do they willfully ignore logic in order to confirm their own prejudices, or are they simply just fucking stupid?
I would suppose that their never ending quest to root out all sources of poutrage and parade them around the internet like war spoils would suggest the former premise, yes?
I hate being sort of able to think sometimes.
“Ooooooh, THAT’S what gaybies is? I thought it was when gay people foamed at the mouth and bit you.”
No, you’re right. That’s how they recruit.
Think “zombie apocalypse” but more festive.
“Well, to balance that out, as a kid I was a member of the KISS Fan Club.”
Were you in the ARMY?!
“Ooooooh, THAT’S what gaybies is? I thought it was when gay people foamed at the mouth and bit you.”
oh, i thought it was from yr mom using the originally named q-tips on you liberally and often…
See what KISS does to people?!!! I was right to fear them!
Were you in the ARMY?!
Sigh…..yes.
Luckily, grew out of it once high school rolled around.
Another true KISS story:
The rumor was that KISS stood for Knights In Satan’s Service. This scared the hell out of me when I was like, 9.
Another true KISS story:
i always associate kiss with (besides aforementioned cousin) the first, worst and only skateboarding accident in which i was involved…
Think “zombie apocalypse” but more
festiveFABULOUS!!feqqsed.
Indeed. Thank you, good undead sir.
talk show host out of st. paul says that desiring to conserve oil means you ‘want to wreck our country…’
Lemme guess – Soucheray?
I was in the Kiss Army too, the first album I ever bought was Destroyer. You gotta admit, they sure knew how to market themselves.
he now only answers to the name ‘shredd’, has everything piercable pierced and to add to his body art, has recently gotten the palms of his hands tatooed
All I can say is, good luck to him if he ever gets a job interview.
He’s pretty much limited his career options to professional skateboarder, bass player or mountain-bike mechanic.
“He’s pretty much limited his career options to professional skateboarder, bass player or mountain-bike mechanic.”
I guffawed. Why does everybody pick on bass players?
A bass player once stole my guitar amp.
Bass players stole my baby*
*=not intended to be a factual statement
One night at Club Chintz, the mindreader closes her set by reading the mind of the each of the musicians in the band.
First, she reads the mind of the lead guitarist:
“Wow, look at all the cute chicks who showed up tonight! I bet they’re all here to see me. Good crowd!”
Then the drummer:
“Look at that crowd! With this many people in the house, we’re going to make good money tonight!”
Then the Keyboard player:
“Yeesh, look at that crowd. None of them will ever truly appreciate all of my talent. What a bunch of losers.”
Finally, the Bass player:
“E E E E E E E E A A A A A A A A E E E E E E E E…”
Wait a minnit!
What happened to drummer jokes? Has there been a huge shift in the musical/cultural paradigm since I went to sleep this a.m.?
“How do you know the drum riser is level? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth!”
KIDDING!! A drummer is a musician’s best friend!
As someone who knows nothing about music – besides all the lyrics to the Major-General Song – this is my sum total knowledge of bass players.
All I can say is, good luck to him if he ever gets a job interview.
he’s in construction out in vegas…although he hasn’t worked in a couple of years because of the ‘economy’…this doesn’t stop him from going on gigantic benders and drunk-dialing the rellies…
Alright!! Erick-Woods, Son of Erick, & Human Events are about to em-bare-ass themselves publicly. Again.
“Dominant.” You betcha, E-Dub. Can’t wait.
Also: “Overthrow.”
Alright!! Erick-Woods, Son of Erick, & Human Events are about to em-bare-ass themselves publicly. Again.
why, if john mccain would have known how to use facebook, i totes would have voted for him!!!
Erick needs a KISS tribute band to spark the interest of them young’ns.
Erick needs a KISS tribute band to spark the interest of them young’ns.
i laffed…
Alright!! Erick-Woods, Son of Erick, & Human Events are about to em-bare-ass themselves publicly. Again.
also, too…erick, i don’t think the young people want you! even though i am getting old enough to rant about ‘young people’ and sometimes wonder if they aren’t all a bunch of fucking morons, i do hold out hope that 90% of them don’t want to vote for a bunch of fucking shitwads…
Yes.
(I am not bbkf laughing at my own jokes)
I reckon there’s some flooding in the US of A. Missoura, Arkie, Kaintuck, Southern Nois and such.
http://www.nola.com/weather/index.ssf/2011/04/missouri_levee_threatens_to_bu.html
I reckon there’s some flooding in the US of A. Missoura, Arkie, Kaintuck, Southern Nois and such.
tween that and the twisters, they are in a world of hurt…
hokay…nothing like some bad weather talk to kill the thread…well, there’s always this
(See, that’s how rumors are started.)
Tejas on fire.
“A bass player once stole my guitar amp.”
You play?
Shift change is all.
Shpadoinkle WTF?
How do you get a ‘cellist to play fortissimo?
Write “pp, espressivo”
Shpadoinkle WTF?
are you kidding? ‘cannibal the musical’ is one of the finest movies to ever grace the screen!
Bass players. Perfect
I am still waiting for The Cannibal Lecture from Substance.
So the question is: Do they willfully ignore logic in order to confirm their own prejudices, or are they simply just fucking stupid?
Wingnuts or bass players?
“Wingnuts or bass players?”
Yes.
oops.
“April 26, 2011 at 2:17
I am still waiting for The Cannibal Lecture from Substance.”
Tell me about. I’m afraid it’ll never live up to the hype now.
Fortissimo? He was a hack, never wrote anything worthwhile.
it
Is that the lecture where SMcG has the elephants going over the alps? Yeah, the first elephants in an avalanche is funny. But, you know, 10 times? He never explains what it was for and Carthaginians would never have worn that type of Helmet strap buckle. Just sayin’
Tell me about. I’m afraid it’ll never live up to the hype now.
I’m still waiting for this.
Do they willfully ignore logic in order to confirm their own prejudices, or are they simply just fucking stupid?
Why can’t it be both?
“Is that the lecture where SMcG has the elephants going over the alps? ”
No, this is the one the downers at the Dept. of Ed. tried to censor just cuz he tries to do a demonstration on a live baby. They don’t understand we’re trying to LEARN.
It crossed a line when he ate Righteous Bubba, though. And with Heinz 57! JESUS.
Heinz 57 Jesus.
Heresy!!!!!
I’m still waiting for this.
Only 85 comments! What kind of piddling little thread is that?
Payback is a bitch, hopefully a mean one. Two constituants rip into an R congressman. Unfortunately, the majority audiance seems to be corporate ass rape enthusiasts.
http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/barletta-town-hall-verbal-brawl-over-medica
Heinz 57 Jesus doesn’t have as many followers as Regular Jesus but I think he’ll ketchup sooner or later.
I would relish that.
Only 85 comments! What kind of piddling little thread is that?
When you and AK aren’t paying attention and your blog gets a dreamy far-away expression; it’s dreaming of 85 comment threads.
Condiment Carnage!!
Only 85 comments! What kind of piddling little thread is that?
Doesn’t even rise to Stone Head status.
When you and AK aren’t paying attention and your blog gets a dreamy far-away expression; it’s dreaming of 85 comment threads
Oh, so , like, never!! hah hah
Heinz 57 Jesus doesn’t have as many followers as Regular Jesus but I think he’ll ketchup sooner or later.
I would relish that.
Condiment Carnage!!
oh my…aren’t you saucy!
What kind of piddling little thread is that?
A piddling little thread that was followed by an item an hr. & 11 mins. later, & preceded by an item 53 mins. earlier. Granted, the items were both from Mister Len posting on CPAC ’08, for which some suckers donated. You can read between the lines, right?
(Sheesh. How many yrs. has S,N! been my time-waster of choice?)
What’s all this then?
Write “pp, espressivo”
I think I have seen that on the blackboard at Starbucks.
Is every commenter at NRO a parody troll? Because there’s 22 comments in that thread right now and I think 17 of them put forth the argument that public schools and universities murdered God and replaced him with Marx.
I wondered that too. The school experience in the US must be odd, Marx, Lenin, compulsary re-education & abortion classes, red flags waving at dawn, North Korean style parades, didn’t notice any of that in the Breakfast Club.
Oh and btw, here in the authorities here in sunny Oman feel that Sadly No; “Is against the Culture and Societal Norms of the Sultanate” and it is therefore spiked. guess its the PENIS jokes.
or perhaps they are against grammar errors……
Where are all the preachers who usually claim this sort of thing is gods retribution to these people brought forth by their sins?
Standing on the rooftops waiting to be rescued?
Praying that their are won’t get flooded?
OT: apparently, Pam Geller’s making a whole movie about the Ground Zero Mosque and why it sucks.
Translation: don’t let people forget this, we need to use it again in 2012.
Oh, wow. Mango number one:
They’re not bigoted. And they don’t want to deny anyone the “right” to build a mosque. And it’s very important that you remember that, because if all you did was listen to them you might get the wrong idea.
The movie’s most important point: Americans need to keep up the pressure and awareness regarding this insensitive project.
“Insensitive” sounds awfully touchy-feely. They can kill us, but they can never take our freedoms, but I really hope that they don’t act insensitively because then I’ll curl up in a little ball and cry and get blue face paint all over my knees.
From a friend… Jesus: Zombie or Vampire?
The movie’s most important point: Americans need to keep up the pressure and awareness regarding this insensitive project.
If insensitive project = movie then awareness raised!
Islam and it’s followers do not belong in the West. End of story.
It’s called West SIDE story, and actually it might work… possible insensitive project alert!
With respect, Muslims do not have a “right” to build any mosques in the United States. Islam is incompatible with the Western World – period. It’s quite simple – you point your finger, make decisive judgments and admit the blindingly obvious – Islam and it’s followers do not belong in the West. End of story. So easy. It’s called discrimination. And it works.
Oooh, check out the strict constitutionalist.
Shorter John Hinderaker:
This must have been on Drudge today, because I heard it on the radio this morning too. But wait, what’s this?:
“call us rabbit chokers”
I’ve been called a chicken choker. Rabbit sounds cuddlier.
From a friend… Jesus: Zombie or Vampire?
Three days to figure out how to respawn? I’d say he was a n00b.
IM IN UR NU TESTICLEMENTS
PWNING UR SAVERS
mark f, why can’t you ever bring us any FUN pressies? Like TruckNutz?
Does the party really need more TruckNutz?
Teh IntarNutz is NOT a Truck.
Personally, I don’t care whether the president takes note of religious holidays or not. It would be fine for President Obama to say that out of respect for the separation of church and state, he will commemorate only secular holidays and remain silent on all matters of religion
this would not invoke a mighty hue and cry? sheeeeesh…
True story: when I was little there was a drug/sundries store that also sold albums. I thought the KISS album covers were so fucking scary, I couldn’t look at them as i walked by them.
The snack bar at the local roller skating rink had a wicked boss frosted mirror with Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell album cover. I was surprised when I discovered that it was not the heaviest metal after all.
The big hand-holding song there was the Beach Boys’ “Kokomo.” Probably still is for those of them left.
Maybe we wouldn’t have to discriminate against Mooslems if there were moar chocolate filled holidays in Islam. Maybe the Eid-ul-Fitr Rabbit could bring baklava shaped like eggs*.
* Eggs that are totes not IEDs.
more from pammy’s commentors:
yes, in and of itself, each word is true…it’s just when you put them in whackdoodle sentences, such as your fine example below demonstrates, that’s when things get a little crazy…
Eggs that are totes not IEDs
Like the ones The Donalde thinks Henry Farrel wants to use to kill Charles Krauthammer?
oh my…reminiscing about the moonlight skate has resulted in an embarrassing tag fail…that’s it…i’m going to go work out…
Most importantly, he exposes-the dangers of PC dementia through their REFUSAL to enunciate where the threat originates-Islamic doctrine-;the terror networks embedded in US institutions; (from the Pentagon, FBI,Congressional offices,all the way to the White House)religious infiltration via interfaith ‘dialogue’; sanctuaries of terror(mosques)and the fifth column/facilitator Muslim community-via covert or overt support.
Ya know, as someone who was raised Catholic, I’m getting pretty tired of seeing those guys stealing our routine. We’re the dirty un-American religion bent on subversion, infiltration, death and destruction, damn it! What are these people doing in our seats?
I’m getting pretty tired of seeing those guys stealing our routine.
i’m still trying to figure out who they are and why they refuse to enunciate…
Mumblin’ Muzzies Marr ‘Murka
Teh Donalde’s explosive Easter Egg is a much FUN-ner pressie than any TruckNutz.
at the end of the night our skating rink always had the ‘moonlight skate.’ one of the songs they always played was ‘afternoon delight.’ *shudder*
At our rink, “New York, New York” was the cue to skate like a maniac because the zamboni was going to kick you off the ice.
fifth column/facilitator Muslim community-via covert or overt support.
I can’t wait for the movie to come out. I hope it’s as good as the book!
The only songs I specifically associate with roller skating are Kool and the Gang’s ‘Celebrate’ (during elementary school) and Bizmarkee’s ‘You got What I Need’ (in high school). Later when I dated a hockey player and we went to open skate at her town’s local rink, they played that song whose chorus is “it’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes” Which I thought was hilarious.
“The snack bar at the local roller skating rink had a wicked boss frosted mirror with Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell album cover. I was surprised when I discovered that it was not the heaviest metal after all.”
Apparently that jagaloon is a Trump supporter now.
No, Auto-Correct, not “Java Lion”
No, Auto-Correct, not “Java Lion”
Not unless you want to be sued by Apple and Oracle.
When I was a kid, the rinks I skated at had no muzak other than the anguished cries of childrens falling on their asses.
Anguished cries of children falling on their asses and the accompanying visuals were probably why the music was loud and the lighting limited to a disco ball in the first place.
Memories of roller-skating-rink-specific tunage: “Free Ride” by Foghat.
Yep, I’m that old.
the rinks I skated at had no muzak other than the anguished cries of childrens falling on their asses.
One of those anguished youngsters would have been me, though in a different neighborhood. I decided dancing without wheels on the feets was a better way to go.
Though I do remember thinking that roller disco to Meco’s “Star Wars” interpretation was the shit. Gimme a break, I was ten years old.
My favourite rink to skate at was the one by Ryerson (now Ryerson University), because it was never crowded plus it was right downtown and less than a five minute walk away from teh arcades (all but one of which are gone now). I always hated skating, but I did love me some sit-down Space Harrier.
Also a plus, there were giant ass hunks of rock scattered across teh ice surface. You were always hoping to see some hotshot pick up a ton of speed and smash into one of those suckers breaking hisself open. Sadly, ice surface conditions at that rink never let you get going faster than a slow walk. SRSLY, like skating on gravel.
Perhaps this would’ve helped.
The arcade at which I played Space Harrier, only had a stand up version. I did not know a sit down version existed.
Skating rinks? Really?
Post title reminds me that I need to start reno-blogging just so’s I can use the title Teh Big Soffitry of Low Ventilation (Fans)
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
When I was in high school the pizza shop where i worked put in the most awesomest video game we had ever seen. PONG wasn’t much fun but it was the only video game we had ever seen. Now get the fuck off mah lawn.
Teh Big Soffitry of Low Ventilation (Fans)
Yeah and I wanted to call my roofing company “The Rake’s Progress”.
It’s called a debt limit for a reason
Now, let’s cut taxes!!!
I tried to make this point last night on Special Report, and it came out a bit clumsy, in part because I
used the mathematically rigorous term “kuh-trillion.”</strike?blart, blah, grgolehios, fap, fap, fap…also, your story problems would probably be more effective if you didn’t start them with, ‘if i have 6 kuh-trillion cheetos…’
You had PONG? We only had PO.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
It’s called a debt limit for a reason
Alt shorter: Words have meaning, dammit!
that was a massive tag-fail on my part…which is central to my point…
“How do you get a ‘cellist to play fortissimo?
Write “pp, espressivo””
How do you get a violist to play pp? Mark it “solo, ff”
Duck Hunt.
nuff said.
Alt shorter: Words have meaning, dammit!
not that i can make them have any semblance of meaning, but still!
this is great from lobbey (above at 8:41) in Oman
S,N! is against the Culture and Societal Norms of the Sultanate
Come to think of it, maybe that’s not much of a hurdle.
It’s called a debt limit for a reason
It’s called a diet for a reason.
I tried to make this point last night on Special Report, and it came out a bit clumsy, in part because I used the mathematically rigorous term “kuh-trillion.”</strike?blart, blah, grgolehios, fap, fap, fap…
also, your story problems would probably be more effective if you didn’t start them with, ‘if i have 6 kuh-trillion cheetos…’
Yes, I realized I should’ve accounted for this sentence in my shorter with something like “no one laughed when I told this joke on tv, but on the internet you can’t see the finger in my nose,” but I missed it. Stupid hindsight.
pong: the reason to go to Sears… and wait in line to play it…
Also–OT too;
I have decided that if Family Guy goes to the big screen, Taranto shall play Peter Griffin. He’s got the scrotum chin and everything.
Maybe we’re just lazy up here in LEAFS SUCK, but I also seem to recall sit-down PONG.
It’s called a diet for a reason.
To JG, every sammich is a hero (or maybe a martyr) to his cause.
I resisted the newfangled video games like Asteroids and Space Invaders, that were gradually taking over arcades when I was in HS, and devoted myself to perfecting my mad pinball skillz, a game which I considered superior in every way to any mere video game.
I still do.
I resisted the newfangled video games like Asteroids and Space Invaders, that were gradually taking over arcades when I was in HS, and devoted myself to perfecting my mad pinball skillz, a game which I considered superior in every way to any mere video game.
Clearly you don’t play Call Of Duty. Games are much more fun when they shoot back at you.
Here’s a tough call – I am The Black Knight or Sinistar’s I Hunger?
Jo-no: The whole point about a debt limit is that it is supposed to be a limit. Limits can be raised, of course.
Heh. Indeed.
Of course, he muffs the analogy, too, as it’s more like calling your credit card company to get the arbitrary limit raised before you hit it, and you’ve always paid your bills so far. You do neglect to mention the balance you’re carrying is just under 100% of your total gross worth, but they should know that already.
You do neglect to mention the balance you’re carrying is just under 100% of your total gross worth, but they should know that already.
And Jo-no is worth an awful lot of gross!
To JG, every sammich is a hero (or maybe a martyr) to his cause.
JG likes to eat Poorboys.
I resisted the newfangled video games like Asteroids and Space Invaders, that were gradually taking over arcades when I was in HS, and devoted myself to perfecting my mad pinball skillz, a game which I considered superior in every way to any mere video game.
You don’t get to shoot anything in pinball. Where’s the fun if nobody gets hurt?
You don’t get to shoot anything in pinball. Where’s the fun if nobody gets hurt?
If you’re good enough you can make Elton John tumble off his platform boots.
Sinistar for sure, although I was much better at The Black Knight. Sinistar’s “Run, coward!” is fun to use on joggers.
“Beware, I live” was the Windows boot-up sound file for about a decade.
“Beware, I live” was the Windows boot-up sound file for about a decade.
I had mine set to boot-up with “I have miles and miles of files, pretty files, of your forefathers fruit!” When I shut it down it would tell me “it riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave and keep on thinking free”.
My shutdown .wav was “It’s 106 miles to Chicago,,,”
When I would get stuck playing a down lineman in football I’d usually ask the guy on the other side, “Are you ready for a maaaaaaarvel of virtual reality?” before the ball was snapped and I wound up on my ass.
I wish someone would do a computer version of Gottleib’s Black Hole. I have Haunted House, but never liked that one nearly as much.
.
My shutdown was, of course, “Daisy, daisy…”
Computer versions of pinball universally suck. Bumping the machine is an essential element of being a wizard. Which I was.
Omg,skating rinks….mammariez. I always loved the “YMCA” skates. And I sometimes did the races. Oh yes, the ‘Skayer started kicking ass young.
Or ‘Slayer. whichever works.
I also used Bill Murray saying ” you can’t leave… all the plants are going to die!’ as a shutdown.
Creepy:
RIIIIIGHT.
Who got his wang?
When I was a kid, our rink was a frozen river or lake, with a soundtrack of wind whistling across the desolate tundra.
I actually fell through the ice four or five times… fortunately those tundra ponds are generally quite shallow, and we had juuust enough sense not to venture onto the river until the ice was at least two or three inches thick.
Hmmm, commatose, today.
Pup-
You were a pinball wizard? Was this when you were in Austin? I was a North Austin pinball wizard, circa 1966-1970, at the triumvirate of evil as my dad would have called it if he had known what I was doing: the original Dart Bowl on Burnet, Capitol Bowl on Grover, that became Dart Bowl, and Green Acres mini-golf on Burnet, which looked just like the pinball den of iniquity in American Graffiti.
When I was a kid, we couldn’t afford a frozen river or lake. We had to ice skate in the middle of a gravel road while dodging cars and we thought we were lucky to have it.
has anyone heard from t&u lately?
Yes.
http://operationacoustickitty.com/
Yes.
thanks…i was getting a little worried about her silence here and mother nature’s noise down there…
Where I went to high school, there was a total of fifteen miles of gravel road, beyond which one had to airlift the car 450 miles to proceed. Ice would often glaze so thickly over the roads that we could skate on them.
Isn’t this thread about ripe for the Rue Morgue? I’m trying my best to kill it
Isn’t this thread about ripe for the Rue Morgue? I’m trying my best to kill it
well, if somebody would link to something god-awful enough for me to make a really good point or whatnot, i have found that that really can guarantee a new post by our overlords…
Geez, and that baby orang will be old enough to play his part by the time it’s over.
It’s called a debt limit for a reason
This raises (to me, anyway) a kind of interesting question. Why does the US have a debt limit? What is the point?
There are a lot of ways to take that question. “What’s the point, if we keep raising it?” “Shouldn’t we just let The Market decide, like good little students of Adam Smith?” But I’m asking because I really don’t know. Why was that law created? Does every country have this?
The wingnuts are always saying the government should act like a family, or like a business, but families and businesses don’t have self-imposed “debt limits”. Yes, we all have limits on our credit cards and/or mortgage approvals, but the bank tells us what we can borrow. This is exactly the other way around. Why?
The debt limit isn’t a cap on borrowing; it’s a cap, set by Congress, on the debt the country is authorized to pay back. Since Congress itself authorizes the spending, and thus necessitates the borrowing, it’s pretty stupid. Since not paying the debt won’t actually reduce spending, the cap’s limit and the threat to default by not raising it is even stupider.
When I was a kid, we couldn’t afford a frozen river or lake. We had to ice skate in the middle of a gravel road while dodging cars and we thought we were lucky to have it.
Right! When I was a kid we couldn’t afford a gravel road or cars! We had to skate in the warm tropical ocean while dodging coral reefs and moray eels. We couldn’t afford skates either! We had to strap cheap rubber fins to our feet and stick tubes in our mouths just to breathe.
The debt limit isn’t a cap on borrowing; it’s a cap, set by Congress, on the debt the country is authorized to pay back.
EUREKA!!! It’s so simple! Congress doesn’t have to raise the debt limit, it just has to borrow money from a buncha people who don’t want to be repaid!
I’m now really pissed that I have to wait ½ hour before I can go home and start drinking…
Note that raising the Debt Ceiling requires an Act of Congress. As much as it always happens when it’s needed, this is a non-trivial action. IOW, Jonah’s argument is essentially:
why have any laws at all when Congress can just repeal them whenever it wants?
which plays brilliantly into the somewhat sinister obama’s hands, since we all now what kind of law he wants…
Stupider still, the Repukes will try like hell, and possibly succeed at keeping the limit where it is. Then they’ll blame the Democrats, whose best response will be “nuh uh…it was you guys. Shutup, we weren’t ready.”
Computer versions of pinball universally suck. Bumping the machine is an essential element of being a wizard. Which I was.
I have yet to master the bump– it’s either an ineffectual move or insta-tilt for me.
That said, there’s a tactile quality to pinball that a computer version just doesn’t have.
[If you are anywhere near Central California, Dixon has the extremely fun Pin-a-Go-Go coming up in mid-May. Come and play until the machines break down– or you do!]
Current boot-up sound on the laptop.
Tops for the cafe scene.
Re: games,
GET THE HUMANOID!
GET THE INTRUDER!
smedley (per autocorrect, you are “smelly”), right time frame but I wasn’t in Austin until much later. it _was_ at a bowling alley that i preached but it was in rural Pennyslavia. Nowadays, in ultrahip Portland, I go to Ground Kontrol. Sorry I missed Pinbrawl 2011.
Oh fuck me, tag fail.
“I have yet to master the bump”
No way! Thats my favorite dance!
OT: “According to the latest IMF official forecasts, China’s economy will surpass that of America in real terms in 2016 — just five years from now.”
Might not seem like such a big deal, but the psychological impact of America taking place to China economically isn’t something I’m looking forward to. I’m picturing the wingnuts of five years from now seizing onto that and using it to promote a reboot of the “Carter malaise” accusations.
shit
vs beat me to it.
Sometimes, I am smelly. But I get better.
China’s economy will surpass that of America
I have two things to say that might make you feel better. First, they are talking about GDP, not per-capita GDP. It is not astonishing that China, with four times your population, should have more economic output. When they have more than four times your economic output, then they have truly overtaken you.
Second, they’re still picking the low-hanging fruit. Dark satanic mills, coal-burning plants on every street corner, mistreated, low-wage employees doing dangerous work making consumer goods…that’s the easy stuff. The US could do it too, if you wanted to live like that again. I think the real lesson of the economic malaise in the West since the 1970s is that once everybody (*) has enough to eat and a house and a car and a refrigerator and a TV (and so on) it gets really, really hard to make your economy grow from that point on. (**)
* I’m using “everybody” in its macroeconomic sense, which means “a large enough fraction of the population that the economy functions perfectly well if we throw the poor people under the bus”
** Of course, that isn’t a good time to start hiring kleptocrats to run your government and your economy, either.
Also, “Mastering the Bump”
or even “Bumping the Master”….
works either way
masterbumping
just for smedley
vs said,
April 26, 2011 at 21:19
“I have yet to master the bump”
No way! Thats my favorite dance!
From what I understand, VS is pretty much ALL bump these days….
well, if somebody would link to something god-awful enough for me to make a really good point or whatnot
I’m looking but havent found anything worthwhile yet. So instead let me give you this interesting coming out story
Yeah and I wanted to call my roofing company “The Rake’s Progress”.
My tow-truck company — the Topless Towers of Illium — was not granted a license. Fascist city council.
Lurking Canadian said,
April 26, 2011 at 21:38
I don’t feel bad about the Chinese economy passing us. I would be more than a little pissed if they came to replace us as a superpower in their present autocratic state, but that’s not what this is. I’m more concerned about what it’ll do to the country psychologically when it does happen (because, as illogical as it may be, it will be a very big deal), specifically in the context of wingnut hysteria.
** Of course, that isn’t a good time to start hiring kleptocrats to run your government and your economy, either.
Right. Cause if you do that, pretty soon everybody won’t have enough to eat or a house or a car or a refrigerator or a TV anymore.
Seems to me if you’re not and you are in the chorus then it’s not really a gay chorus. See, what you have there is what we call a predominantly gay chorus. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
I like the real pinball machines, too, but I also like old Vespas. I don’t want either, ’cause they’re both maintenance nightmares, and you spend more time working on them than enjoying what they were ostensibly meant to do.
So, a virtual Black Hole, please. Get right on that!
.
I got one of those plastic signs for the doors of my beater truck advertising PM’s Pet Mortuary and Sausage Emporium. The rest of the truck was hand painted (with a brush) with “OPE”, “POE” and so on all over.
Also, I removed the insignia from my first car, a 64 Rambler wagon, cut the letters individually and replaced them to read “mabel”. Just wanted to share that.
When I was in full time reno I had uniforms made that said “Dim Bulb Electricians” complete with made up names (Slothrop, Ratliff, etc.) It was amazing how often strangers would ask for electrical advice.
I had to go out today for a doc’s appt. and to shop for company…and judging from the looks I was getting I think some people were alarmed I was going to give birth at any moment. The bakery lady asked if I was taking the cookies straight to the hospital.
Sounds like some of you guys are feeling gay pressure. HOT!
From a friend… Jesus: Zombie or Vampire?
That was…excellent.
Seems like vacuumslayer and her ilk has been busy neutering men and driving up the budget defecit. Shame on you vs.
WEST: We need you to come in and lock shields, and strengthen up the men who are going to the fight for you. To let these other women know on the other side — these planned Parenthood women, the Code Pink women, and all of these women that have been neutering American men and bringing us to the point of this incredible weakness — to let them know that we are not going to have our men become subservient. That’s what we need you to do. Because if you don’t, then the debt will continue to grow…deficits will continue to grow.
http://wonkette.com/444193/allen-west-women-are-destroying-u-s-men-stopping-them-from-fixing-budget#more-444193
Can’t… type… any.. m
go-mo, I would happily cop to all that stuff…if I could make heads or tails of what the FUCK he was trying to say.
if I could make heads or tails of what the FUCK he was trying to say.
w.t.f?????
That Zombie or vampire link doesnt work on my iPad, just takes me to the main page (even if I copy and paste into address bar). Little help?
Also too, if you want some grade-A st00pid, petulant, shit Teh Gay PutzRiot delivers. I shan’t link to America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ here – it’s gaypatriot dot net.
if I could make heads or tails of what the FUCK he was trying to say.
come on, it’s Allen West, what do you expect?
I think torturer West is saying that “behind every good man is a woman.” Several feet behind him. And if she gets any closer he will not be able to reduce the deficit or abuse prisoners.
Maybe its part of their evil plan to make our heads explode.
Then there is this
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/38449_Pat_Robertsons_Murky_Lesbian_Fantasy
Robertson: Well it’s the left; it’s this culture of death. The far-left is livid about killing babies. They want to kill do this, they want to destroy. You go back, and I don’t want to play all this psychological stuff but nevertheless, if a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?
Meeuwsen: Well she can’t have children.
Robertson: That’s exactly right. And so if these married women don’t have children, if they abort their babies, then that kind of puts them on a level playing field. And you say, nobody’s there to express that? Isn’t that shocking, well think about it a little bit ladies and gentlemen.
How did I not know (or care) there was a “sex-near-horses” genre?
“The far-left is livid about killing babies.”
Well, this is true. I am generally against infanticide.
“Well, this is true. I am generally against infanticide.”
There you go again, with your neutering and driving up the deficit ways.
Sorry! I’ll speak more softly and stay a few steps behind.
I’m a little broken up, my beloved Poly Styrene succumbed to cancer last night.
…if a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?
Meeuwsen: Well she can’t have children.
Robertson: That’s exactly right.
What?? What the fucking fuck?!?!
I’m embarrassed for my species.
Watch out for Teh Wild Wild Woman, Johnny Young
Bill Whittle makes a birther film.
The far-left is livid about killing babies.
I am not surprised that the far-left is bruise-coloured, what with all that hippy-punching.
Quick word of warning about Sub’s link: don’t read the comments. They are HIDEOUSLY racist and misogynistic. I won’t go into to much detail, but word “whoremaster” is used–and welcomed! I had to stop reading about 15 comments in. Truly vile stuff.
They are HIDEOUSLY racist and misogynistic. I won’t go into to much detail, but word “whoremaster” is used–and welcomed! I
“Whoremaster” is a perfectly apt job description, such as “knacker” or “Big Government contributor”… it shouldn’t be used as a pejorative.
You warned me vs, but I still went there.
I’m going to go throw up now…..
judging from the looks I was getting I think some people were alarmed I was going to give birth at any moment. The bakery lady asked if I was taking the cookies straight to the hospital.
You should have told her to watch her mouth lest your baby-daddy Chthulu not kill her early on.
Pup, try this: http://www.discussions-online.com/posts.php?sub=21&cat=6&thr=7457&pg=0
“Whoremaster” is a perfectly apt job description,
But there’s only one Republican whip, so there’s little need for a generally descriptive term.
Sometimes the Hindi “walla” comes in handy. I saw an Indian langur-walla on TV recently. His job was to wrangle the langur that chased the monkeys off the train.
all of these women that have been neutering American men and bringing us to the point of this incredible weakness
Die Amerikanischen Männchen! Ha HA! FEEL THE INCREDIBLE WEAKNESS! Wow, that was SO much easier than when I had those rows of shark teeth implanted in my lady business.
Sometimes the Hindi “walla” comes in handy.
Whorewalla?
I saw an Indian langur-walla on TV recently. His job was to wrangle the langur that chased the monkeys off the train.
Who’d a thunk a lizard could wrangle guys named Charles? Insert “wrangle Rangel” joke, possibly involving the Hamburglar.
Die Amerikanischen Männchen!
This is especially funny, as it can be read two ways. Well played?
Wow, that was SO much easier than when I had those rows of shark teeth implanted in my lady business.
Did the shark teeth have frickin’ lasers?
Bill Whittle makes a birther film.
FUCKING FUCK. Not watching. That bigoted lying piece of snake-oil salesman shit runs one of the first political blogs I ever found on the Internet, and he and his comments section were a huge factor in bringing the undiluted conservative worldview to my attention, ergo turning me off from it. For that, I suppose I should thank him. But to this day, I can’t watch one of his videos without wanting to beat his smug face to a pulp with my bare hands. I don’t know what would happen if we ever came to be in the same room.
And now that that rant’s over with, indeed avoid the comments: hideously racist may be overgenerous. Was going to bring back mangoes, but nah, you guys already know what they say at Big Government.
And now that that rant’s over with, indeed avoid the comments: hideously racist may be overgenerous.
Of course, your exposition of their racism is even more evil than the racism itself, seen through rove-tainted glasses.
Comment from VS’s “Gay Pressure” link:
Good lord. Willing to live in a scummy disgusting fucking theocracy, as long as the gays are summarily murdered…
This is the sum of all wingnut components right here.
Good lord. Willing to live in a scummy disgusting fucking theocracy, as long as the gays are summarily murdered…
This is the sum of all wingnut components right here.
Yeah, makes me wonder why they’re all lathered up about Sharia in the first place… hell, they advocate the same crap.
Yeah, makes me wonder why they’re all lathered up about Sharia in the first place… hell, they advocate the same crap.
Must be the funny hats. They don’t seem to have a problem with the beards. OH-it’s definitely the dresses that the men wear.
all of these women that have been neutering American men and bringing us to the point of this incredible weakness
This has been as simple as lifting their shirts for about 5,000 years. What’s this closet case on about?
Yeah, makes me wonder why they’re all lathered up about Sharia in the first place…
They associate it with swarthiness.
B^4, I’m actually Sideshow Bob.
rove-tainted glasses
My mind’s eye just exploded in self-defense.
I had those rows of shark teeth implanted in my lady business.
I! W? 3D?
Pinball for your computer you say?
http://www.vpforums.org/
A virtual “Black Hole” you say?
http://www.vpforums.org/index.php?automodule=downloads&req=idx&cmd=viewdetail&f_id=1914
Yeah, makes me wonder why they’re all lathered up about Sharia in the first place…
Converting to Christianity is a crime, Christians can be persecuted… basically, fundigelicals want to do all this crap unto others but not have it done unto them.
Was there some sort of speciation event in 3000BC, team, or is that about when we invented the shirt?
Of course, your exposition of their racism is even more evil than the racism itself, seen through rove-tainted glasses.
Well as all people know, hurting a conservative bigot’s feelings is as great an evil as four hundred years of slavery.
Yeah, makes me wonder why they’re all lathered up about Sharia in the first place… hell, they advocate the same crap.
It ain’t about the crap, it’s about who’s advocating it. See Hitler v. Stalin, 1941-1945.
Oh, bugger. That should obviously be t-S-a-m. Stupid Jobs and his stupid minions, thinking I can’t spell.
I! W? 3D?
Megashark vs Crocosaurus.
And just in case Bill Whittle hadn’t pissed me off enough, the episode of the A-Team I’m watching just froze up halfway through.
I hate it when a plan falls apart.
Bill Whittle directed the A-Team? I always learn new stuff here…
Wow, that was SO much easier than when I had those rows of shark teeth implanted in my lady business.
Ever see the movie “Teeth”?
Bill Whittle directed the A-Team? I always learn new stuff here…
No, but he makes it freeze up on Hulu when I try to watch it.
Prove me wrong, buddy. Why hasn’t he released a long-form disclaimer that he hasn’t done it? Teach the controversy, bitches!
The far-left is livid about killing babies.
Yeah, we are kind of unreasonable about indiscriminate bombing of women, children, and wedding parties.
However, we are also perfectly able to differentiate between “Babies”, “blastocysts” and “zygotes”. as well as understand that women are not merely ambulatory brood mares for the patriarchy.
Truly vile stuff.
Very much so. And they get spittle all over the keyboard.
Lots of Internet Tough Guys, too.
In other words, morons.
Must be the funny hats. They don’t seem to have a problem with the beards. OH-it’s definitely the dresses that the men wear.
Are you not familiar with the Catholic Religion?
They aren’t over fond of Catholics, either.
In other words, morons.
Looch is Gene Wilder?
They aren’t over fond of Catholics, either.
True, except for those of them who are Catholic, which is a depressingly high number.
(Church teachings on Islam are actually quite moderate, overall teachings quite compatible with social democracy, and you’d think a religion that spent so much of its history as America’s Bogeyman Religion would have more sense than to join in on the Know-Nothingism. But, ZOMG ABORTION therefore TAKE THE COUNTRY BACK!!!)
It’s not easy gettin N__B on a plane.
~
It’s not easy gettin N__B on a plane.
disassemble him first.
disassemble him first.
and hope for no extra parts upon reassembly…
It’s not easy gettin N__B on a plane
Try putting the plane on him. Make sure the blade is sharp!
From a comment at Substance’s Bill Whittle link.
“Black national liberation theology marxist, muslim, anti-American Chicago union thug, low level socialist agitator,attorney for acorn, communist parents,Valery Jerret communist, wife communist, Kids do not celebrate birthdays…i.e. muslim kids, appoints communists czars, concealed all his records,on,and on! This is alot of ammunition for the right…only Donald Trump has the balls to bring this NEWS to the American public! ”
This is the wingnut mind. What do YOU PEOPLE think? IIs Trump serious, a liar, an ignorant racist or all or any of the preceding? I think he is serious and will run but am not sure whether he is a real racist or just a pretender for votes.
I would like to start a new internet meme which is sort of a rip off of the “Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1992.) He sued the blogger about that and lost by the way. (Details if anyone cares)
“Is it true that Donald Trump likes to rape underage male goats!?”
[Bestiality is bad enough but my God, gay pedophile bestiality!? Please Donald, prove it aint so.]
By the way, about those Trump rumors, I heard tt fom some guy, I have no idea whether it is true. It is on the internet also so its out there.
tt = it
This is the wingnut mind. What do YOU PEOPLE think? IIs Trump serious, a liar, an ignorant racist or all or any of the preceding? I think he is serious and will run but am not sure whether he is a real racist or just a pretender for votes.
It’s been the talk of several threads at Balloon Juice. Me, I suspect he’s just in it for the attention and not seriously going to run for the White House. If it’s any encouragement, Gallup polling says that over sixty percent of America would not vote for Trump (and the same for Palin). If his numbers in the polls were higher he might just do it, but with those kinds of numbers, I doubt it.
Base is eating it up, though. Found out today that Evil Coworker Clone over here, who was a Romney supporter in 2008 and until now, is now backing Trump.
I thought blowing goats was a Mickey Kaus thing?
Also, I strongly suspect that the most heinous thing we can imagine about Trump will not rise to the level of gorge of his real habits. Kind of like Limbaugh and his Dominican boy-raping fetish.
Are you people still here???
Kind of like Limbaugh and his Dominican boy-raping fetish
I don’t even want to know.
I miss the good old days.
Base is eating it up, though. Found out today that Evil Coworker Clone over here, who was a Romney supporter in 2008 and until now, is now backing Trump.
Encourage him/her/it. Either Trump doesn’t follow through, or he does and flames out. Either way, start stockpiling popcorn.
Are you people still here???
Zombies never really go away. You ought to know that.
Base is eating it up, though
All the GØP field needs now is the clown car.
Are you people still here???
No. The singularity happened while you were away. What you see here is merely the lingering spasms of our cast off meat-selves. You really missed it, bub.
In other news, I think Ron Paul has an infantile understanding of economics and Stephen pawns him. Just my two cents. Good clip also.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/382617/april-25-2011/ron-paul
Kids do not celebrate birthdays…i.e. muslim kids
Or Jehovah’s Witlesses.
Also: An utter lie.
Unrelated: Possibly hrs. of distraction.
The bakery lady asked if I was taking the cookies straight to the hospital.
These are very very sick cookies.
Are you people still here???
We’ve been waiting for you. What took so long?
Atlas Mugged:
Hospitalizing the cookies.
Also “casting off the meat self” deserves some sort of recognition. It’s good enough to give one lingering spasms.
Eciador update.
See, Stuttafuck was right.
Tungurahua volcano spews ash
See? Nobody goes to the movies to root for Mr. Potter.
Suck it Rand!
He is pissing off half the country, this is true, but what is the down side for Truimp? His bullshit energizes half the Republicans, he has deep pockets, what does he have to lose? It is better to have 20% love you and the rest hate you than to have everyone be indifferent abour you.
Worst Case: He comes in 2nd or 3rd: This is good, just ask any foimer unknown like ex-governor Huckabee or slightly more well known Gov. Romney about that.
Best Case: He actually becomes the Republican nominee and loses badly and then gets to brag that he was almost Prtesident of the United States for the rest of his life..
Best Case: He actually becomes the Republican nominee and loses badly and then gets to brag that he was almost Prtesident of the United States for the rest of his life..
Wonder what that would do to the party. After McCain lost, they were able to say it was because he wasn’t a real conservative, and that stuck because of his (less than deserved) reputation as a moderate – same can be said of Bob Dole and G. H. W. Bush. OTOH, if they run a Birther and he loses, it’s going to be a lot harder running that particular broken record.
Ah, excellent! Hulu’s back, so’s the A-Team and the plan’s coming together again. Up yours, Bill Whittle.
“Wonder what that would do to the party” I am hoping for death, but that’s just me.
Coming Soon To A Voting Booth Near You: DONALD TRUMP IN THE MASQUE OF THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE DEATH!
Sure he once said he was pro-choice and said he was for some kind of single payer health care system but that was then and this now. He NOW thinks that the President is a nigger communist affirmative action baby who wants to destroy America! That Trumps everything.
“You should have told her to watch her mouth lest your baby-daddy Chthulu not kill her early on.”
You are officially hired as my writer.
That Trumps everything.
I see what you did there.
OTOH, if they run a Birther and he loses, it’s going to be a lot harder running that particular broken record.
I dunno. Won’t they just claim that he failed because he wasn’t birther, birthier, or birthiest enough?
OTOH, if they run a Birther and he
losesgives birthFiqqst so that IT’S A FUCKING MIRACLE!
Amanda Marcotte napalms Douchehat.
“OTOH, if they run a Birther and he loses, it’s going to be a lot harder running that particular broken record.”
If they run on balancing the budget, how is that working out for them?
POOP.
POOP.
When did you film Mini__B?
I dunno. Won’t they just claim that he failed because he wasn’t birther, birthier, or birthiest enough?
Paging Dr. Seuss.
Yeah, it probably won’t matter. They’ll lay low on the Birtherism for a few years, and eventually come up with a “McCarthy was RIGHT!” type of narrative for Trump.
That time I was sneaking around filming babies pooping. You know how it goes.
Amanda Marcotte napalms Douchehat.
Whoa. A smoking, hot crater.
Ross is too fucking stupid to know he was ‘palmed, so I doubt it will have an effect.
But a fun read. He is doucher, douchier, and perhaps, the douchiest.
You know how it goes.
Just like the clip: a whole lot of straining followed by foot-grabbing during the diaper change.
Okay… okay… I broke down and started watching the Whittle video. Not so bad, with me having had the rage moment a couple hours ago: actually he’s kind of boring me. This is a good mango though: Obama’s mom and a friend referred to themselves as “fellow travelers.” That, Bill Whittle explains good-naturedly, is of course a term coined by Leon Trotsky to describe fellow communists. Because the concepts of fellows and traveling had no existence or meaning prior to Das Kapital, let alone fellow travelers.
Continue the joke.
Hmm. Mother also described as “a radical Marxist atheist,” though as he explains afterward, of course she has the right to be those things, “that’s America.” It’s funny: in the recent snapshots I’ve seen of him, Whittle’s addressed religion and atheism a couple times and never mentioned the fact that he himself is an atheist (a fact he didn’t mind saying out loud back in the day).
Apparently, while he need to know everything about the C-in-C’s mother, the little people needn’t know where their PJTV guru actually stands.
Continue the joke.
I watched that penguin for a good five mins. & it didn’t POOP anything!!
Oh, AWESOME MANGO – “you can’t make this stuff up!”
Yes You Can, Billy… yes you can.
Okay… actually, not much. It’s a walkthrough of Obama’s early biography with standard conspiracy theories thrown in. Like I said… overall, he’s just boring.
I have been neglectful. Last night I made Rinderrouladen, spaetzle and rotkoohl. Tonight it’s my slightly perverted twist on moussaka, green salad and the rolls I just tossed in the oven. The lamb is the leftover from the leg I roasted for Sunday’s dinner. I can’t recall what the rest of the meal was.
I think the Whittle video’s fairly crazy in his usual style, with the entertaining part being that the president is so mysterious and yet half the fucking video is from the president’s book. Plus newspaper stories and winking.
So, basically the same tired-ass schlock as them buying up 50k of the wingnut-book-of-the-month on opening day to get it on the bestseller list.
feh.
Today in Bouffant’s Bunker Cuisine:
Brunch:
Dumped six oz. of boneless & skinless Wild Alaska Sockeye Salmon in a bowl, added a few cloves of garlic & a slice of onion (minced up good) a generous dollop of mayo, a ½ tsp. of Beaver™ Brand horsey sauce, a tbsp. or so (each) of garlic steak marinade (the secret ingredient is the olive oil) & sesame soy ginger vinaigrette, mixed thouroughly & et.
All portions approx., of course.
Hey, in every lying orifice w/ a splintery broomstick, Preview!!!
½!!!1!
Smell Whittle’s mangoes:
The rest of the comment is just as bad.
On the off chance that some of you haven’t seen this yet, um, yeah.
Sweet Blood of Jesus! I have met Victoria Looseleaf. Out of fairness, there is more to her than what you saw. Maybe not much more …
Way to go, Victoria. You killed it!
I………..that………..I don’t…………………it………….she……………..what?……………….I…………
Goatse: it’s not just for assholes anymore.
He wants to fill America with those people and overwhelm the Europeans that founded America and work hard and are honest and love America and speak English BEFORE entering the Country.
Just F his I, at the moment of the country’s founding, the biggest part of the population was actually German, and the reason we don’t have a national language is because it was judged impractical to force them all to assimilate like that. I don’t know any stories like this from my area, but according to my Wisconsinite roommate, there was an all-German-language school in his area that stayed open all the way until the early twentieth century.
Amazingly, that wasn’t the end of the world. Or even America.
completly off topic…. Zombie reports
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-13186033
(and yes, the Sultante has relaxed their policy today)
Lobbey –
The report’s from Wales. Can you really trust people who think “w” is a vowel?
OK, here’s a good German language story:
My mother, a relatively sophisticated coastal dweller, married my father, a farm boy from the Hill Country of Texas (filthy w/ Krauts, most of whose ancestors fled Germany after all that Euro-mess of 1848) in 1947. When she went to Texas to meet his family, there were so many people who still spoke mostly German that many of the black people in the area had to speak some German to get along.
She was rather amazed seeing & hearing black folk speaking German, what w/ events of the then-recent Second World War & all.
Can you really trust people who think “w” is a vowel?
Not that I’m accusing the Welsh of inbreeding or anything, but the BBC provides a Welsh mutation checker to help visitors prepare.
Indian chief: “Shwartzes! No, no, zayt nisht meshuge! Loz im geyn! Abi gezint!”
I am supposedly part Welsh. I think that’s why my mom’s so dark. If I gave a shit about such things, I’d be SO OFFENDED right now.
Somebody posted this a bit back. Seems a good time to bring it back.
Holy shit, I just sneezed for 10 minutes straight.
Springing the sprung?
so the donalde supposes that tintin is carl (or actor?)
actor’s a gay Belgian? That explains so much…
vs & t&u have been strangely silent
I had to sit at a different desk for a few days, and everybody could see what I was looking at. My vile co-worker even chastised me for checking my Gmail account, even though her stupid ass in on Facebook all the time and she’s been talking about how she’s going to try and keep up with the royal wedding at work on Friday.
Also, I have such hilariously awesome news about her, but I’m trying to decide if I would feel bad after telling you guys about it.
Ok, I demand that you spill. After all we know of this twit, you owe us that much!
Also, I have such hilariously awesome news about her, but I’m trying to decide if I would feel bad after telling you guys about it.
Well, after giving us the trailer, I for one think there’s no going back. VS’s point also is well taken.
Welcome back, also too.
Oh my: Obama releases full birth certificate.
Hey, Billy Whittle? What’s next?
If you feel bad after I’ll pat you on the back and say “there, there now” until you feel better. Plus there will be cookies.
Is it something like this?
This, of course, will change nothing.
Whoopsie,
That might.
Oh who am I kidding.
I’m trying to decide if I would feel bad after telling you guys about it.
For a few minutes, yes. But then you’ll have a lifetime of giggles from it after we’re done playing with the news.
Thanks!
Okay, okay.
She was arrested for shoplifting. From JC Penny. When she was released, she called our office manager AT HOME to tell her what happened.
“I just saw something I wanted on the way out and grabbed it.” In my dreams, it is a costume jewelry replica of Princess Di’s/Kate Middleton’s wedding ring.
And yes, she clearly, CLEARLY needs psychiatric help. She still sucks as a human being, though, so I don’t feel *that* bad about finding it hilarious.
Oh fuck, that shit is *still* funny.
I’m surprised she spent enough time at the store to find something she wanted instead of going hom eearly.
I’ll pat you on the back and say “there, there now” until you feel better. Plus there will be cookies.
*enabling cookies*
Yahoo News commenters weigh in, this time with tasty mangoes.
“Obama showed us his birth certificate, now Trump, show us your hairline.”
“Do we get to see Sarah Palin’s high school diploma now?”
“Trump that.”
Etc, etc, etc… Oh, it’s a good day to be a Dem. And the fact that it was timed right after Bill Whittle’s video makes it that much entertaining to me.
In my dreams, it is a costume jewelry replica of Princess Di’s/Kate Middleton’s wedding ring.
Is she the one sending me spam about buying those rings? I don’t need green fingers.
“I just saw something I wanted on the way out and grabbed it.”
The fact that she’s a wingnut makes it that much funnier that she feels entitled to take what she wants without paying.
Did she tell you? Or the office manager? Or is it now common knowledge within the office?
One of the guys we used to work with thinks she’s lying and layering clothes under her clothes and got caught. Which would explain some of her outfits, actually.
I prefer to think it was for something that was, like, $15.
She told another co-worker about it (who then told me) and said, “Don’t tell anyone about it!” Bitch, it’s IN THE PAPER.
A cruel person might surreptitiously tape the newspaper article to a break-room wall.
I would not condone such an action. I would commit it, but I would not condone it.
Is her name Winona Lohan?
N__B’s cruelty is faster than mine.
She told another co-worker about it (who then told me) and said, “Don’t tell anyone about it!” Bitch, it’s IN THE PAPER.
In fairness, who reads the paper anymore?
N__B’s cruelty is faster than mine.
Years of use has honed it to a fine point.
I was about to correct myself and then I realized I have absolutely no idea if that should be a plural verb or a singular one. English is a fucked-up language.
A really cruel person would post a link to the police blotter of the local paper RIGHT HERE. And by cruel I mean AWESOME.
“Please sir, can I have some more cruel?”
N__B, don’t think we hadn’t discussed doing that.
In fairness, who reads the paper anymore?‘
I work with old people. Plus, she called the office manager to tell her what happened because she was worried she’d see it because it was IN THE PAPER.
I work with old people.
So, D-KW, VS, and me aren’t the only ones learning about diapers.
I work with old people. Plus, she called the office manager to tell her what happened because she was worried she’d see it because it was IN THE PAPER.
Words fail me.
tig, the only reason I haven’t is because it might reveal my sekrit identity. (Which would probably be easy enough to find if somebody really wanted to anyway).
Although now that I think back about how she implied that no one would ever be attracted to me ever again because of my cankle scar, I’m thinking it may be worth it.
Although now that I think back about how she implied that no one would ever be attracted to me ever again because of my cankle scar, I’m thinking it may be worth it.
Man. She’s a bitch!
I would encourage revenge, personally.
I recently tried to convince a band I sometimes play with to cover a Kate Rusby song because it has her saying “cruel” 16 times in the song. Krewel.
she implied that no one would ever be attracted to me ever again because of my cankle scar
She’s surprisingly ignorant of the masses of men who are attracted to you specifically because of your cankle scar.
Yeah, men are all about the ankles. Heh. Sadly, no. I wouldnt mind if they were…mine being well-turned and all, to put it anachronistically.
I know! She was like, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” when she saw it. And basically told me to cover it up and that no one would ever touch me again, and “Oh, they make scar removal creams!”
I *like* my scars, bitch.
“Oh my: Obama releases full birth certificate.
That might.
Oh who am I kidding.”
Well, it might get the number down to the reliably consistent 27%.
“Oh, they make scar removal creams!”
If you strap her down and smear it over her mouth, will it heal and close up?
Surprisingly few people want to see my hernia scars.
She’s surprisingly ignorant of the masses of men who are attracted to you specifically because of your cankle scar.
This is a person who says “snail trail” instead of “email trail” and had to ask what the word “orifice” meant.
This is a person who…had to ask what the word “orifice” meant.
Tell her that’s a silly question: she works in one.
Good fun on the Beeb this morning with extensive coverage of the birf certificate and the funeral of Sai Baba. (US$ 9 billion left in his trust? whooeee! now that’s a Holy Man)
Sorry, but it has to be said…
Scuse me while I whip this out.
And might I add… Now suck it, conservatards.
Go to Roy’s and after your chuckle follow the PunditPress link for another chuckle.
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html#8968096658384909240
Oh yeah? Why didn’t he just release the long form certificate right away? huh? huh? I’ll tell you why, it takes time to make a quality forgery. The wingnuts will always believe whatever we want to beleive. Deal with it libs!!! Wingnuts are not capable of dealing with factual statements.
Sorry. Should probably have clarified that that was me doing Cleavon Little.
So, D-KW, VS, and me aren’t the only ones learning about diapers.
In fairness, I’ve been a diaper enthusiast for years and already know a lot abou,,, I mean, yeah. Babies POOP a lot, don’t they?
omfg. I hope that people know that, as Chris said above, this will change nothing.
“‘I guess the Obama administration felt they had milked all the political advantage they could out of refusing to release the birth certificate,’ huffs Rob Port of Say Anything.”
LOLWUT? Plz to explain?
Also, REVENGE! (Fixxored for some semblance of anonymity).
The fact is, laugh it up libs while you can. This so-called document is clearly a forgery. Signature of Attendent? David A. Similar? Like that’s a real name. More like Obama told his master-forgery-communist-thugs to make up a name like “David or something similar”.
Also, too, the Local Registrar? U K E Lee? Ukelele? Because it’s Hawaii? Ha ha you liberals, but you’ve been too cute and too clevererer for your own goods. A forgery. And it will be proved as such by this time tomorrow and then the Great Liberal Freakout will begin. Bookmark it.
In fairness, I’ve been a diaper enthusiast for years and already know a lot abou,,,
Great-grandmothers are moms too!
“‘I guess the Obama administration felt they had milked all the political advantage they could out of refusing to release the birth certificate,’ huffs Rob Port of Say Anything.”
Meanwhile, in the real world, Obama’s already milking the political advantage of withholding his academic records, vaccination records including all booster shots, and comprehensive list of elementary school hand-holdings.
LOLWUT? Plz to explain?
It means Obama was playing along with the Birther bullshit in order to make more and more Republicans commit to their own version of 9/11 Truther conspiracism. Then once it had basically gone Republican-mainstream, he dropped the hammer on them.
In other words, they’re blaming the mean black Democrat Muslim for playing along with their own fantasies.
edroso sez: “Cue the Colorists!”
Demonstrating that, as usual, that Righteous Bubba fella (wherever he is) was way ahead of his time.
Also, REVENGE! (Fixxored for some semblance of anonymity).
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me her last name is “Xavier.”
Then once it had basically gone Republican-mainstream, he dropped the hammer on them.
Actually, that’s brilliant.But! More than likely, as usual, Obama waaaay underestimated their aptitude for crazy and thought it would just go away if he ignored it.
Meanwhile, in the real world,,,
A check-a-box note that he was sent in fifth grade purportedly indicates that he did in fact like the girl who sent it to him. I am skeptical. Moar likely he pencilled in his own separate box marked “Death to America”. When will he release the original Punahou-School-1972-I-like-you-Do-you-like-me note?
Actually, that’s brilliant.But! More than likely, as usual, Obama waaaay underestimated their aptitude for crazy and thought it would just go away if he ignored it.
Most likely. But I wouldn’t be surprised if, having finally realized how crazy they were, he decided to let them run with it until the beginning of election season at which point he could blow it out of the water.
Yahoo News comments indicate Birthers coming out in force. It’s STILL a long-form CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH, not a BIRTH CERTIFICATE, GOSH don’t you libs understand ANYTHING? And he found a FORGER. And… so on, and so forth. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to see McCain or anyone else having to jump through those kinds of hoops.
N__B, sadly, no!
So the President releases the long-form birth certificate.
KERNERS ARE GO!!!
Actually, Obama got in a few jabs at our media overlords: http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2011_04/029152.php#more
…the Great Liberal Freakout will begin. Bookmark it.
Oh my, I’ve missed that phrase.
Also, REVENGE! (Fixxored for some semblance of anonymity).
YES!!!
I’ve been reading the freeper’s reactions. There’s some high-grade derangement over there.
I’m tires of looking at that monkey. And that English guy too.
tired.
Geez, vs. Don’t have a cow. I mean, really. PLEASE DO NOT HAVE A COW!!!!
and another question I have is why is Barack H. Obama listed as Obama II rather than Jr
Obama II: Kerners Are Boogaloo!
I’m tires of looking at that monkey. And that English guy too
i as well…i was really hoping that after the delightful morning i have had thus far (which included a fabulous time on-air where my co-host and i were served some lovely, lovely gluten free rhubarb tarltets, currant scones with lemon curd, strawberry jam and devonshire cream) the sun is shining and the Twins have won 3 in a row (although their last two games have been called due to rain–yes, it made much sense to not put a retractable dome on target field) that snuffleturd and teh monkey would be gone…sigh…
Obama II: Kerners Are Boogaloo!
surely, some of you fine wordsmiths can come up with an ‘electric boogaloo’ pun…or have i missed it?
Obama II: Electoral Bamaloo!
BUT, it is still lacking information, such as length & weight of the baby.
Nor does it have those cute little footprints so NOT REAL.
And why is it on this funky green background and looking like it is part of a roll of paper document
It’s as if printers and paper trays have never intersected with this person’s reality.
Actually, Obama got in a few jabs at our media overlords: http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2011_04/029152.php#more
Thanks, good transcript. It is indeed Obama mostly telling the media “grow the fuck up.”
FTR, I can honestly say that, I would have cheered just as much for Bush if he’d ever made a statement like this about 9/11 Trutherism. But then Bush never had to make a statement like that about 9/11 Trutherism, in large part because the media never gave it the kind of attention they gave Birtherism*… but remember, all this means is that the media’s liberal.
*Which in turn happened partly because there are about twice as many Birthers as there are Truthers and mainstream Republican candidates have either embraced or flirted with the theory in a way that Obama, Clinton, Kerry, Edwards, Dean and Clark never did. But remember, all that means is that the liberals are the real unhinged, extremist, socialist loonies.
Oily Taints responds!
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/04/orly_taitz_obamas_long-form_birth_certificate_should_say_negro_not_african.php?ref=fpblg
Obama II: Electoral Bamaloo!
well done, you!
II is entirely different than Jr.
Pretty well shoots that “Peak Wingnut” concept down.
IT’S NOT A MONKEY. IT’S AN APE.
The same goes for the orangutan.
Okay… PJM, my personal wingnut barometer, releases its take on Birtherism.
Comments section has the goodies, as usual. Some people bitter at Obama’s craven cravenness in not releasing it earlier. Others say Trump is a hero who pushed hard so that Obama would release the certificate NOW and not in a year (which gives Trump credit for a dedication to a cause that just isn’t there). Then this mango:
This is going to be the party line. Remember, most people (like Whittle) didn’t actually come out and say “he’s a Birther…” they just said “well that’s a good question and it deserves to be thoroughly examined.” As with race-baiting, where they never actually come out and say the N word, but everyone gets the message loud and clear.
And of course, the bottom line is WAAAAAHHHHHH, Obama’s getting special treatment cause he’s black.
Jonah Goldberg has lots to say about the birth certificate!
Donald Trump Rules! Also too some jokes from 1998.
This settles it. But this raises more questions than it answers.
Obama says the media isn’t serious. If Obama is so serious why does he sometimes have fundraisers? Hey, maybe now he can go golfing lol what a lazy blacky.
Bonus shorter JG, not-birth-certificate edition:
The fact is – Further PROOF of the fakeries:
This so-called long form brith certificate matches the details in the FAKE COLB that they were passing around back in 2008. Therefore this fake document is also a fake. FAKE. It’s all a SCAM! WAKE UP SHEEPLES!
from the corner comments:
i am SO glad the gop’ers have the well-being of amurka top-most in their little heads…
i am SO glad the gop’ers have the well-being of amurka top-most in their little heads…
We knew it was coming the moment Rush said “I hope he fails.” Nothing else matters to them.
From the NRO comments, an argument I’ve seen making the rounds:
Obumbles Senior was a Kenyan citizen, ergo his son is not a natural born citizen per the Constitution
Yeah, I like that. Apparently, that U.S. passport I’ve had since just about the day I was born was all in my imagination because of the French mother thing. Oh, and all those GIs who’ve gone overseas to fight for freedom and America and ended up marrying a local? None of their kids can be real citizens either.
The stupid. It fucking burns.
WAKE UP SHEEPLES!
Wake up, little Sheeples, wake up
Wake up, little Sheeples, wake up
The U.S. fell sound asleep
Wake up, little Sheeples, and weep
This country’s over, it’s birther time
And we’re in trouble deep
“IT’S NOT A MONKEY. IT’S AN APE. The same goes for the orangutan.”
I reserve the right to refer to apes (and others) as monkeys for comedic effect. Let it be known that I know the difference and sometimes choose to ignore it.
I’ve told my wife a dozen times or more, and yet if I go home tonight and call an ape a monkey she’ll correct me, ignoring the underlying pun or alliteration that makes “monkey” more useful.
I am enjoying reading the comments on Jonah’s varyious posts. Several people have realized that they believe stupid things, and that Jonah also believes the same stupid things. Does that realization lead them to decide that Jonah is therefore stupid? Nope! They are therefore smart, for Jonah agrees with them and he wouldn’t believe stupid things!
i almost wish i was at home so i could see what fox has to say about all this…
Obumbles Senior was a Kenyan citizen, ergo his son is not a natural born citizen per the Constitution
Remind me again what the final citizenship status of Trump’s Scottish mother was.
Wait! Here’s a better thing! Jonah takes to comments to defend himself from someone who criticizes Republicans for birtherism!
ShorterVerbatim Jonah:I think the “well you guys do it too” defense might have a name. Jonah’s original post, by the way, was “Obama said we’re silly but he’s friends with Oprah!” I think there’s a name for that too. I wonder if Jonah knows it . . .
It doesn’t matter. He’s still not eligible for the presidency. Obumbles Senior was a Kenyan citizen, ergo his son is not a natural born citizen per the Constitution.
He sort of has a point. Kind of. If you squint. The Constituion does not define what it means to be “natural born.” One of the freepers had said “the founders would never have wanted a British citizen to be President.”. No, really, he said that. Anyway, the very first Congress recognized the problem and passed the Naturalization Act of 1790 which does in fact define exactly what it means to be “natural born.”
Obumbles Senior was a Kenyan citizen, ergo his son is not a natural born citizen per the Constitution
‘my mockery rings of the truth cuz i threw in words such as ‘ergo’ and ‘per’…plus my nym is ‘mother of the troops!’ therefore my intelligence, and patritotism cannot be questioned–never mind the fact that i am completely wrong!!! i’m a patriot, dammit’
I love this comment: “The MSM bend over backwards to try to keep this putative ‘GOP’ clown candidate viable and in the news to the detriment of the actual GOP.”
AHAHAHAHA… Trump’s leading the GOP candidate field, but sure, it’s all the eebil liberal media making him seem like more than he is.
<i.One of the freepers had said “the founders would never have wanted a British citizen to be President.”. No, really, he said that
?!?!?!
yipes, teh stoopid is strong with this one…
damn…bbkftagfail strikes again…
At NRO, a non-birther non-entity named Daniel Foster posted snarkily about the long-form release. Commenters: “Your snark is unwelcome.” “The snarky scorn is inappropriate and unbecoming.”
Birthers: hold your breath until you’re treated with the utmost gravity. This suggestion is in no way a trick to get you to off yourselves– I know you’re too smart for that.
The whole Trump Takes Credit for the Long Form Birth Certificate Release thing is kinda funneh. What’s he taking credit for? Possibly being the final exasperating straw that drove the man with his finger over the Nuclear Armageddon button to address a completely non-sensical nonsense bullshit charge by releasing additional official proof of something that everyone not mentally damaged has accepted to be true?
AWESOME.
I can imagine his foreign policy as Preznit. If Iran doesn’t give up their nuclear weapons programs than I will continue to make wild speculations regarding Ahmadinejad’s mother and her prowess in bed. Also I will personally phone the Supreme Ayatollah very early in the morning and ask him to stop pursuing nuclear weapons. EVERY. MORNING. And if that weren’t enough, wait until you see what I do on my Facebook profile!
the founders would never have wanted a British citizen to be President.
Well, I believe that they wouldn’t have wanted a British citizen to be POTUS, but they couldn’t really hold a British birth against anyone.
And I don’t think there’s any such thing as a British citizen. The correct term is “subject,” isn’t it?
DKW: that’s basically what he told some interviewer his foreign policy would be, except he used China as an example. He’ll issue demands of other world leaders and everyone will do what he says, because he’s Donald Trump dammit!
It’s remarkably similar to John McCain’s “tell the Sunnis and Shiites to ‘cut the shit'” strategy.
dkw–it is so good to have you back!
It’s remarkably similar to John McCain’s “tell the Sunnis and Shiites to ‘cut the shit’” strategy.
yes, the exasperated parent/rebellious teen paradigm works every time, doesn’t it?
We have had a dozen or so presidents who were not natuarally born American citizens, (I’m to lazy to look up the exact number) but Obama is not one of them. Somebody should point out to these people, who revere the founding fathers so, that none of the founding fathers were natural born American citizens.
There is no undeserved deference
Of a wartime president?!! GASP! Why does this person HATE AMERICA?
“IT’S NOT A MONKEY. IT’S AN APE.
The same goes for the orangutan.”
I had a feeling I had it wrong. My joke was a massive fail anyway.
@bbkf, Thanx. But the quality of my comments is probably only going to deteriorate as the sleep depriva,,,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Obumbles Senior was a Kenyan citizen, ergo his son is not a natural born citizen per the Constitution
Except Jr. was born in the US which makes him a US citizen automagically, so per the Constitution FAIL.
dkw–it is so good to have you back!
That’s what YOUR MOM said.
NEWSFLASH: George Washington ineligible for Presidency! Son of British citizens falsely claims to be father of our country! Extra! Extra!
yes, the exasperated parent/rebellious teen paradigm works every time, doesn’t it?
Shrub got plenty of mileage out of it.
IT’S NOT A MONKEY. IT’S AN APE.
The cladists will tell you that an ape is merely a specific kind of monkey, so your argument is invalid.
I could not possibly be that pedantic.
George Washington ineligible for Presidency! Son of British citizens falsely claims to be father of our country!
TEH FOUNDING FATHERS WERE A LIMEY FALS-FLAG OP WAEK UP U ROBOTS