Apr
17

What A Day For An Auto-Da-Fe!




Posted at 17:14 by Tintin
ABOVE: Roger Kimball (click here for NSFW)

Pajamas Media’s resident fashion-plate and bow-tie adorned dildo brings us his latest installment in the wingnut myth that Obama Is a Muslim intent on imposing sharia law in the United States. Kimball’s editors — no doubt concerned that the typical Pajamas Media lip-moving reader rarely makes it past the headline — pack everything into the post title: “Why It’s OK for the U.S. Govt. to Burn Bibles But Condemn Burning the Koran.”

it was just a week or two ago that everyone from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R., sort of, SC) to Gen. David Petraeus and Sec. of State Hillary Clinton loudly condemned the Rev. Terry Jones for presiding over his Koran barbecue. Burning a holy book, you see, was hateful, intolerant, and extremely disrespectful.

At the same time, however, it is OK, in the Obama regime, for the U.S. government to burn Bibles. Yes, that’s right. Bibles were sent to U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan. But the U.S. government determined that the presence of Bibles in this “devoutly Muslim country” might inflame the natives. So they burned them.

Obama the Kenyan Muslim jihadist is snatching Bibles from the hands of our troops and burning those Bibles at the same time he’s condemning a good Christian pastor for burning a Koran. Better stock up on Budweiser and pork barbecue while you can, people, because Obama’s coming to take all that away and force your kids to attend a madrassa.

There is apparently no limit to the facial absurdity of the narratives that wingnuts will peddle to discredit Obama.

If you click the supporting link that Roger graciously provides to substantiate this latest Obama outrage, you’ll see that Roger — surprise, surprise — isn’t quite telling the whole story.

Missing fact #1: The Bibles weren’t sent to “U.S. soldiers” but were sent to one soldier by his church to be passed out to local Afghans.

Missing fact #2: Military regulations forbid proselytization of the locals by troops, mostly to prevent endangerment of the troops.

Missing fact #3: The Bibles were written in Pashto and Dari.

Missing fact #4: The only U.S. troops who could read the Bible in those languages are gay translators who were drummed out of the military. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

Missing fact #5: The military actions at issue occurred in 2008 during the Bush administration.

(Note: The artificial dildo in the picture illustrating this post has written to complain about being included in a photograph with Kimball)

602 Comments »

  1. marko said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:24

    They’re burning dildoes!!!!1!!11!!!!

    Won’t someone please think of the children!!!

  2. Galactic dustbin said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:25

    Bow ties are cool.

  3. Galactic dustbin said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:26

    ‘course not on him

  4. Pajamalamadingdongyipyipyahootie said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:29

    Freshness dates are Anti-American!

  5. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:33

    What do you have against dildoes? This is a totally unfair comparison.

  6. g said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:34

    Yes, but Obama used his time machine to go back and burn the Bibles. He stopped off on the way to 1961 to place the announcements in the Honolulu newspaper.

  7. Proteus454 said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:38

    *pssst* Tintin. You mean “facile” absurdity, surely?

  8. owlbear1 said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:38

    You’re a private citizen Kimball, why the fuck aren’t you over there “Preaching”?

    Or digging ditches for that matter?

  9. tigris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:38

    Missing fact #5: The military actions at issue occurred in 2008 during the Bush administration.

    “At the same time” for broad definitions of “same.” Also definitions of “in the Obama regime” that include “in the Bush regime.”

  10. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:39

    Sen. Lindsey Graham (R., closet)

    FIxxorred!

    P.S. Darn you, Dr. Dick. You got more recommends (so far!) than I.
    ~

  11. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:46

    ABOVE: Roger Kimball (click here for NSFW)

    It’s not like he’s fucking a truck or anything…

  12. Tintin said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:57

    @Proteus454: no,I do mean facial absurdity, as in absurd on its face, or obviously absurd.

  13. Pajamalamadingdongyipyipyahootie said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:57

    Oh hey! By using the wonderfully generic phrase of “U.S. Government” Kimball is completely telling the truth. NOW and forever.

    I love this part too, “it is OK, in the Obama regime,” because it is totally a Military policy. Just like it was under Bush. Just like under Bush it was totally treason to insult the commander in chief, Kimball knows he has to insult the soldiers for not being more secret about converting the savages.

    Smart guy, and totally not elitist.

  14. El Manquécito said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:02

    P.S. Darn you, Dr. Dick. You got more recommends (so far!) than I.

    Yeah but you’ve still got a big lead over Sande from Chiang-mai.

  15. Citizen_X said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:04

    Nobody has looked cool in a bow tie since Sean Connery, in the 1960s.

    PS: I <3 that pshop, Tintin. Consider me your #1 stalker, 4-eva!

  16. exford legs said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:06

    Oh god, won’t somebody please think of the little gingerbread men!

  17. grifting in the wind said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:25

    Why I bet one of “Afghanistan’s Burned Bibles” would snag a tidy sum.

    Probably wouldn’t even have to find non-English versions.

  18. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:28

    Heh, someone else reads PJM.

    Missing fact #5: The military actions at issue occurred in 2008 during the Bush administration.

    Easy: Bush was a liberal (or if they’re being charitable, “well meaning but wrong” – on anything Islam-related, conservatives have completely disowned the Bush legacy).

  19. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:30

    it was just a week or two ago that everyone from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R., sort of, SC) to Gen. David Petraeus and Sec. of State Hillary Clinton loudly condemned the Rev. Terry Jones for presiding over his Koran barbecue. Burning a holy book, you see, was hateful, intolerant, and extremely disrespectful.

    IMO, neither the government nor the media should’ve acknowledged the guy at all. This isn’t the first time it’s happened (it can’t be – think about the amount of raw Muslim-hating rage in this country and the number of churches/groups like Terry Jones) and it won’t be the last – when the assholes are of this petty caliber, just let it go. Too bad it had to be blown up into this.

  20. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:31

    That incompetent dipshit Bush was re-elected (actually, elected for the first time) because of 9/11 and ONLY because of 9/11. The country got behind that turd in a way that those Refucklicans would NEVER support Obama.

  21. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:34

    And I love the absolute freakout in the comments section. The very first one is a guy explaining in as conservative terms as possible that we have to be practical, and that since we know Afghans are all ignorant superstitious monkey cannibal savages, we shouldn’t drive them into more of a feeding frenzy than they’re already in.

    All the comments come back strongly disapproving, suggesting that the man is capitulating and explaining, “all the more reason to treat them with contempt.” The Internet tough guy validation of spitting on an Afghan is worth more than the lives of the Westerners at risk, apparently.

  22. lurking furry said,

    April 17, 2011 at 18:54

    There should be law against any man under 70 wearing a bow tie.

    Young fogeyism of the bowtie wearing variety is a very specially noxious form of douchebaggery.

  23. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:06

    P.S. Darn you, Dr. Dick. You got more recommends (so far!) than I.

    LOL! The advantage of the early adopter is all. ;-)

  24. El Manquécito said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:10

    condemned the Rev. Terry Jones for presiding over his Koran barbecue.

    I wonder what was wrong with his bulgogi. Insufficiently spicy kim chee?

  25. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:16

    I will not sit park still for this, Dr. Dick!!!
    ~

  26. jim said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:25

    Signal versus noise?

  27. stryx said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:40

    Obama’s coming to take all that away and force your kids to attend a madrassa.

    That is completely and totally false.

    Children whose parents read pajamas media are likely too stupid to get enrolled in a madrassa.

  28. vacuumslayer said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:42

    “It’s not like he’s fucking a truck or anything…”

    Someone sounds disappointed.

  29. vacuumslayer said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:43

    “Young fogeyism of the bowtie wearing variety is a very specially noxious form of douchebaggery”

    *whispers* I think he’s looking at YOU, Tucker.

  30. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:47

    Someone sounds disappointed.

    Well this is where we all come for our new frontiers in paraphilias.

  31. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 19:53

    Children whose parents read pajamas media are likely too stupid to get enrolled in a madrassa.

    I’m kinda hoping that parents who read pajamas media are too stupid to know how to have kids.

  32. the infamous prurient tailpipe said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:06

    Hey, I’m just a sucker for lingerie, okay?
    Judge not lest yadda yadda yadda.

  33. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:08

    George Will. Tucker Carlson. That humorless dildo up there (the one holding the cake). Christopher Kimball. Is Orville Reddenbacher a humorless dildo douchebag?

  34. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:10

    Is Orville Reddenbacher a humorless dildo douchebag?

    That remains unknown, but the evidence clearly supports the hypothesis that bow ties cut off the blood supply to the brain.

  35. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:21

    Is Orville Reddenbacher a humorless dildo douchebag?

    Not exactly humorless, but otherwise – see the related skit in Mystery Science Theatre 3000′s Godzilla vs. Megalon.

  36. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:22

    PEE WEE HERMAN!

  37. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:26

    That guy looks like the most boring high school teacher ever.

  38. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:33

    I think Mr. Redenbacher is no longer popping.

  39. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 20:57

    The latest: months after the controversy, Sarah Palin finally has an opinion on Wisconsin, which is that the Governor’s just maverickingly trying to provide jobs that’ll be good for working people. Or something.

  40. Dep't. of Redundancy Dep't. said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:04

    artificial dildo

    ?

  41. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:05

    maverick

    Somehow I don’t think that word means what she thinks it does. Of course that is true of pretty much every other word in the English (or any other human) language.

  42. vacuumslayer said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:07

    Whiny Douche Says Taxes Are Mean

  43. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:07

    artificial dildo ?

    Natural Dildo.

  44. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:09

    Whiny Douche Whose Income Comes From Sucking at the Government Teat Says Taxes Are Mean

    Fixorated for greater clarity.

  45. tigris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:12

    Natural Dildo.

    Gherkin off.

  46. M. Bouffant said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:19

    Whiny Douche pretty much proves my theory that independent contractors, who have to pay estimated tax quarterly, as opposed to wage-slaves whose taxes are mostly withheld are the people who whine the most about taxes.

    Their tax-aversion is more psychological than based on anything legitimate. It’s resentment at having to pay up for contract income. If it were withheld & Whiny didn’t really have to deal w/ it, there wouldn’t be nearly as much bitching & moaning.

  47. tigris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:25

    Whiny jerk: my calculations were a teensy bit off, so this week, I had the opportunity to send them enough money to purchase a decent used car…. Government can’t balance a checkbook. They’re idiots. I know finance math. I do it for a living.

    How nice for him that he gets paid well enough that the fraction of income he owes in taxes for one quarter is more than many people make in a year, but judging from that post his fiction writing kind of sucks.

  48. gocart mozart said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:29

    Handy and informative penis map can be found here :.
    http://www.targetmap.com/viewer.aspx?reportId=3073

  49. gocart mozart said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:34

    Trump goes full retard!

    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2011_04/028983.php

    “Look, he was born ‘Barry Soetero.’ Somewhere along the line, he changed his name,” said Trump — referring to the surname of Obama’s mother’s second husband, Lolo Soetoro, whom she married four years after Obama was born. “I heard he had terrible marks, and he ends up in Harvard. He wrote a book that was better than Ernest Hemingway, but the second book was written by an average person.”

    “You suspect Bill Ayers?” said Hannity.

    “I said, Bill Ayers wrote the book,” Trump replied.

    Trump also added during the discussion: “He was best friends with Bill Ayers. Bill Ayers was a super-genius. And a lot of people have said he wrote the book. Well recently, as you know last week, Bill Ayers came out and said he did write the book.”

  50. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:39

    Orville Popcorn, total cobag.

  51. gocart mozart said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:45

    Cooking with Megan McCardle
    Sadly not a joke
    http://doghouseriley.blogspot.com/2011/04/eat-shit.html

  52. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:45

    Handy and informative penis map can be found here

    Reading the map, it would appear that the US is an underdeveloped country.

  53. M. Bouffant said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:48

    penis map

    Thank you, but I know mine like the backpalm of my hand.

  54. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:48

    Bill Ayers wrote The Sun Also Rises?

  55. gocart mozart said,

    April 17, 2011 at 21:57

    “Look, he was born ‘Barry Soetero.”

    Aha! Soetero is his real father. He’s just pretending to be black. He is actually Asian. That Obama sure is devious.

  56. gocart mozart said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:01

    “The Old Man and the Sea” was actually based on the life of Lolo Soetero. Were through the looking glass people.

  57. Wyatt Watts III said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:28

    Yes, but Obama used his time machine to go back and burn the Bibles.

    Hello, we’re from the Chinese Government and we’re here to arrest you.

  58. DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:29

    Were through the looking glass people.

    At least the tense is correct. We went through the looking glass when the country elected a washed up B actor who claimed tax cuts would increase revenues as president.

  59. smut clyde said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:37

    Well this is where we all come for our new frontiers in paraphilias.

    This sounds like an open invitation to blog-whore.

  60. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:46

    We went through the looking glass when the country elected a washed up B actor who claimed tax cuts would increase revenues as president.

    Thank you DrDick, this is it exactly. Plus if we had listened to Carter about energy we would be in much better shape to face peak oil.

    The way they deify Ronnie Ray-gun makes me sick.

  61. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:58

    smut clyde said,

    April 17, 2011 at 22:37

    Well this is where we all come for our new frontiers in paraphilias.

    Ladleds and jellyspoons, here’s how it’s done downunder.
    ~

  62. Lurking Canadian said,

    April 17, 2011 at 23:04

    Can’t we stop quibbling about who burned what when and just accept that Obama is a dangerous monster who presages the return of the Great Old Ones? For the sake of bipartisanship, I mean?

  63. Christopher said,

    April 17, 2011 at 23:05

    I think my favorite part was where Kimball illustrated our absurd deference to Muslims through the example of the regulations at Guantanamo.

    Yeah, because if there’s one place where Muslims are treated right, it’s Guantanamo.

    Actually, I went to Google, just to see what the rules governing bibles are in Guantanamo, and found this.

    I’m actually not sure how that ultimately turned out; the fact that Mr. Paracha was denied a bible has somewhat been overshadowed by the fact that he is an old man with heart problems who has been imprisoned without charges for the last 7 years.

    This is another one of those arguments where if you file off all the crazy, I’m kind of in agreement; I suspect that, given all our wars and stuff, the US government really is being much more careful about handling korans then they are bibles, and that burning a book is not a crime and can’t be blamed for any assholes who choose to riot over it. Lindsey Graham needs to shut the fuck up.

    I’m not sure how any of that leads to the conclusion that the US Government is going to be taken over by Sharia. By the way, do you think any of these people know what Sharia is aside from “A bad muslim thing”?

  64. Thomas said,

    April 17, 2011 at 23:26

    @ Galactic Dustbin
    Bowties are only cool if you’re from Gallifrey.

    Of course this guy’s not going to get called on it b/c if you’re a conservative blowhard, you’re not expected to be factually correct so long as you’re blowing hard.

  65. Chris said,

    April 17, 2011 at 23:30

    I’m not sure how any of that leads to the conclusion that the US Government is going to be taken over by Sharia.

    Need for an uber-enemy. The notion that the Muslim world could even unite itself under one Sharia Law, let alone impose it on the most powerful nations in the world, is fucking lunacy. But teabaggers tend to be fucking lunatics, so it’s a marriage made in heaven.

    By the way, do you think any of these people know what Sharia is aside from “A bad muslim thing”?

    I think one of the main reasons the “Islam is the enemy” meme has caught on is because the average Roger Kimball reader is literally too ignorant to know anything about al-Qaeda other than, they’re Muslim and bad. So the idea that they’d know about anything as specific as “what is Sharia Law?” is pretty hysterical.

  66. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:14

    Can anyone decode what Maggie Gallagher is saying?

    “I took the trouble to find out that gay marriage reduced the teen suicide rate in Massachusetts, and I think if you’re concerned about teen suicide – and I am, including gay teens – that gay marriage is not a good solution to that problem.”

    Did I get that right- she would rather kids kill themselves than allow homes to marry?

  67. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:15

    FYautocorrect. HOMOS. HOMOS HOMOS HOMOS

  68. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:38

    Hot home on home action.

  69. DrDick said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:41

    Hot home on home action.

    AS I said earlier, this is your go to place for the latest in paraphilias.

  70. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:42

    Ok. Before I even read the post, much less the comments, re: the pic…

    LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    Becuz nobody said it yet.

  71. Cap'n Lolipop said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:55

    full facial?

  72. papa zita said,

    April 18, 2011 at 0:59

    Aha! Soetero is his real father. He’s just pretending to be black. He is actually Asian. That Obama sure is devious.

    NO! He is actually the son of both men!!! His fathers’ DNA were insidiously combined and his white mother inseminated by advanced medical tech from the ultra-liberal CIA to create a pan-racial mix acceptable to the voters!!!

    I bet I could make a teabagging birther believe that, considering how aware they are sexually.

  73. smut clyde said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:13

    Roger Kimball family photograph.

  74. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:16

    Noodity!
    ~

  75. M. Bouffant said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:20

    So, Roger Dimbulb is a waiter somewhere? Ass’t. concierge at a two-star hotel? Because when I see someone in a vest & a bow-tie carrying packages (Forgive me, revolutionary bros. & sisters!) I instinctively think service person. (Not exactly the words I thought, but why make myself look worse?)

  76. M. Bouffant said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:22

    Smut is all Hipgnosis on us lately.

  77. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:38

    “Look, he was born ‘Barry Soetero.”

    Here’s what I think is so hilarious about this.

    Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. was born (in the US!!!!) the son of a Kenyan guy, and given his name, but as a young boy growing up in American culture, he was called by an Americanized nickname, Barry.

    Then his divorced mother married another foreign national, and moved her family, for a period of time, to a foreign country.

    So the wing-nuts have decided to claim that Obama is EVEN MORE foreign than Kenyan, giving him his step-father’s Indonesian surname. And at the same time, mock him for assuming later in life his full, Islamicized given name, by claiming his name is really the American name “Barry.”

    “He’s not a Kenyan-American, he’s an Indonesian Muslim!”

    “His name is really Barry, he’s just trying to look special by calling himself Barack!”

    I don’t understand how they can have those two thoughts simultaneously.

    (Plus, wouldn’t he still be an American citizen, born of Stanley Ann Dunham and her second husband?)

  78. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:38

    Not being much of a scholar, I was trying to decide whether Tintin was going for
    pure Inquisition,
    pure Lovin’ Spoonful, or
    some Inquisition/Lovin’ Spoonful mashup.
    Finding this painting only confused me further.

    Pedro Berruguete Saint Dominic Presiding over an Auto-da-fe
    Detail.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/Pedro_Berruguete_-_Saint_Dominic_Presiding_over_an_Auto-da-fe_%281475%29_ausschnitt.jpg

  79. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:40

    I don’t understand how they can have those two thoughts simultaneously.

    You’re never gonna gradumacate from Wingnut U. at this rate, g.
    ~

  80. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:48

    Hot home on home action.

    HGTV After Dark

  81. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:50

    Hunchy, I imagine it being sung by Mel Brooks.

  82. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 1:58

    tigris,
    Oh. From History of the World.?
    Or What a Day for a Daydream?

    Oh shit….it’s Candide.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IrOXId1y5g

  83. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:09

    Oh shit….it’s Candide.

    Of course.

    What a lovely day, what a jolly day,
    What a day for a holiday!
    He don’t mix meat and dairy,
    He don’t eat humble pie,
    So sing a miserere
    And hang the bastard high!

  84. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:10

    And you can’t forget this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5liuHR6wug&feature=related

  85. MTBochs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:13

    This is probably too late, but here goes. The whiny douche says:

    Whiny jerk: my calculations were a teensy bit off, so this week, I had the opportunity to send them enough money to purchase a decent used car…. Government can’t balance a checkbook. They’re idiots. I know finance math. I do it for a living

    If his calculations were so far off that the difference is enough to pay for even a BAD used car, perhaps he’s not exactly good at finance math his own self.

  86. Lurking Canadian said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:18

    On the citizenship question, my understanding is that his mother is not enough. The definition of “natural born citizen”, for someone born outside US territory required that both parents were US citizens or, if only one parent was a US citizen, that parent had to have spent some number of years (after some magic age) in the US.

    Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. But if he had been born in Kenya, his mother would not have satisfied the requirements to make him a natural born citizen.

  87. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:33

    Now I’m really confused.

    Kristin Chenowith is Kenyan?

  88. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:38

    “Is coloratura. Is like a snake.”

  89. Cerberus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:41

    MTBochs-

    Why do I think that the real history of that rant is he tried to cheat his taxes, got caught, had to “fix the teensy error” of several hundred thousand dollars of unreported income and now is trying to spin having to pay a fine in lieu of jail time as being a principled martyr to “Big Government”.

    Also, it is more than apparent that most people have no idea what they are doing with taxes and are more responding to how they make them feel stupid or how they are caught being dishonest frauds and that creates the “anti-tax” backlash of stupidity.

    I think if we had a “Big Government” center where the IRS would calculate your owed tax or rebate and would either send it to you or take it from your bank account automatically as an option rather than the forms that these same dumbasses of a middle class would on average like taxes more than they do now and it wouldn’t be as successful of a rallying cry.

    Fuck, look at the average middle class response to “taxes” versus say health insurance, 401Ks, or stock in lieu of bonuses, not to mention the host of hidden fees by banking, credit card, and other companies.

    I suspect half the negative reaction is entirely about having to fill in a damn sheet and do math on one’s own time with a deadline rather than any principled or unprincipled stand about “taxes am too low for Bizarro”.

    Also, seriously, finance manager and he’s talking about “I made an error on taxes and had to pay more”. That’s your fucking job is math and figuring out taxes. You just admitted you are grossly, and I mean grossly incompetent at the job that pays you, I guarantee you a salary that I can only dream of as a fucking unemployed MS in Biology.

    Cry me a fucking river in this economy, Lord Douchenozzle.

  90. Cerberus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:49

    On topic to the main post, given the wingnuts realizing that they are not bound by any reality based position to form their beat poetry of grievances, I would pay any amount of money to see our moribund, compromised, meaningless propaganda factory of a media actually stand up for the concept of a real functioning objective reality just once.

    Just a quick, “contrary to right-wing claims, the sky is in fact blue today, In other news, the Colts have a white uniform.”

    Just once, instead of the unending parade of “some on the right say Hitler was a pink unicorn funded by Code Pink. Others say otherwise. We’ll bring you a panel of 3 unicorn fetishists and the author of ‘Hitler’s gay commie subversion as a unicorn’ right after the break.”

    Because it is more than obvious that the wingnuts feel totally justified to base their delusions on nothing because they know that no one important is going to call them out. So what if we hippie fags know that the Bush Administration thought actively trying to force convert the people whose land and oil we’re currently stealing was a bad idea and it wasn’t secret proof of Obama’s muslim perfidy. If they can sell it up the chain to Fox, then all we’ll eventually hear is “Is Obama coddling muslim terrorists aiming to rape your white women in order to facilitate his plans to pass Sharia Law, next up sober news moderate Glenn Beck.”

    I think the stuff is finally getting to me again.

  91. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 18, 2011 at 2:52

    I don’t understand how they can have those two thoughts simultaneously.

    Wingnuts have multiple brains, just like cows have multiple stomachs, and for much the same reason: to digest the undigestible.

    Only the byproducts smell a lot worse.

  92. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:03

    frantically googling……

    Mildred Pierce
    Line from the book, first movie, or HBO only?

    Geez, where is the POOP . I’m exhausted.

  93. Spearhafoc said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:07

    Bowties are cool!

  94. Spearhafoc said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:12

    But still, Roger my dear boy, it’s gauche to fasten the bottom button of a waistcoat. Dumbass.

  95. Another Kiwi said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:14

    Still lookin’ for the one armed Moozelin, eh?Roger Kimball or Richard Kimble??? we provide the evidence, you decide.

  96. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:31

    But still, Roger my dear boy, it’s gauche to fasten the bottom button of a waistcoat. Dumbass.

    He was trying, I suspect, to hide his decidedly steatic abdominal terrain. Spectacularly unsuccessfully, one might add.

  97. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 3:38

    Oh for fucks sake.
    Linked at some little known, apocalyptic, supertrains blog.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/education/edlife/edl-17blog-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

  98. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 4:09

    So the idea that they’d know about anything as specific as “what is Sharia Law?” is pretty hysterical.

    Sadly, if you spelled the particulars out for them, leaving out the word “Allah”, they’d probably be 100% for it. The Wahabbist mind is none too far from the Christopath fundie’s.

  99. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 4:10

    Wingnuts have multiple brains, just like cows have multiple stomachs, and for much the same reason: to digest the undigestible.

    Only the byproducts smell a lot worse.

    Martini?

  100. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 18, 2011 at 4:54

    Oh Newsbusters, things have reached a pretty pass when you feel you have to bust Ben Stein.

  101. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 4:57

    Mildred Pierce
    Line from the book, first movie, or HBO only?

    Book and HBO, but I’m not sure about the first movie. I don’t think so, because I don’t think the daughter was a coloratura in the first movie.

    It’s actually a great scene, if you know anything about opera singers.

    The character of her vocal teacher says, in the book (in pidgin Italian dialect):

    “Dees girl, she live for two t’ing. One is make a mother feel bad, odder is get back wit’ all a rich pipple she know one time in Pasadena. I tell you, is snake, is bitch, is coloratura.”

  102. Reuben, Esq. said,

    April 18, 2011 at 5:00

    Nux!!

  103. M. Bouffant said,

    April 18, 2011 at 5:09

    Comments on B.S. the RINO at Pee Republic (where a donation button is in evidence).

  104. Drouse said,

    April 18, 2011 at 6:15

    Separated at birth from this guy?

    http://christopherkimball.wordpress.com/

  105. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 6:45

    if you know anything about opera singers.

    Errrr. no.

    Cleavage?

  106. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 7:08

    if you know anything about opera singers.

    What’s the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?

    Jewelery.

  107. stackozone said,

    April 18, 2011 at 7:13

    As to birth questions, here’s info from the US Embassy, Tokyo:

    If only one of the parents is a U.S. citizen, he/she must bring proof of physical presence in the United States prior to the child’s birth. Primary evidence that may establish your physical presence in the U.S. include: Transcripts from high school and/or college, and Wage Statements, DD214 Separation Statement (for Military Members). Secondary evidence includes: Credit Card Bills, Utility bills, Tax forms, Airline ticket stubs, former/current passport showing stamps.

    On the other hand, I have yet to see any proof that Donald Trump is HUMAN, let alone a US Citizen.

  108. Smut Clyde said,

    April 18, 2011 at 9:01

    Wingnuts have multiple brains, just like cows have multiple stomachs, and for much the same reason: to digest the undigestible.

    Also, both full of spirochaetes.

  109. exford said,

    April 18, 2011 at 9:40

    But unlike cow parts, BBBB probably hasn’t got a recipe for Republican brains. Or know where to get some good ones.

  110. Chris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 12:59

    On topic: PJTV has an “interview” with a completely “anonymous” member of the DOJ that claims that the DOJ’s outreach to Muslims is jeopardizing national security business. (Not the first time they’ve done an “interview” about this either, and the last one was a pathetically transparent hoax).

  111. vacuumslayer said,

    April 18, 2011 at 13:52

    Hey, let’s leave Christopher Kimball out of this. I like the guy. Sue me.

  112. vacuumslayer said,

    April 18, 2011 at 13:53

    BBBB probably hasn’t got a recipe for Republican brains

    That would be one tiny amuse bouche.

  113. Irion said,

    April 18, 2011 at 14:16

    Bow-ties really make a statement. That statement is “I am impotent”.

  114. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 14:30

    That made me giggle…despite the fact that I’m sure Christopher Kimball is a BEAST in the boudoir.

  115. Johnny Pez said,

    April 18, 2011 at 14:38

    Handy and informative penis map can be found here :

    That map explains pretty much everything that happened during the Cold War.

  116. Tim F. said,

    April 18, 2011 at 14:57

    Title: X-men, 1990-ish. Trapped in genosha, powers stolen, chained up and about to be killed by Moreau, the genengineer. Moreau gloating (monologing in Incredibles-speak). They escape after Gambit picks a lock with his toes.

    Good thing I never retained any of that school learnin. God knows when I would need to use compound interest. Or subtraction. Or conjugationing verbs.

  117. g said,

    April 18, 2011 at 15:36

    What’s the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?

    Throat lozenges.

  118. Spearhafoc said,

    April 18, 2011 at 15:39

    Once again people, bowties are cool.

    Just because a couple Republican cobags (redundant, I know) choose to wear them doesn’t invalidate an entire item of clothing.

    Bowties take confidence to wear and dexterity to tie. I occasionally wear ‘em and respect others who do likewise – providing, of course, that they’re not Republican cobags.

    This is like people who rag on fedoras just because hipsters wear them (okay, hipsters actually wear trilbies, but everybody seems to call them fedoras anyway).

  119. El Manquécito said,

    April 18, 2011 at 16:46

    Bow ties are OK if they are black or white, though the latter is increasingly rare. They are worn with penguin suits and can provide the note of eccentricity one seeks if they look as if they were tied by a drunk. I find this easy to achieve.

    Also on topic too, I had a license plate once that said; “da fe” Very few got the joke though it was an act of faith to drive that particular car and it was distinctly possible that it might burst into flame.

  120. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:03

    Know WHO ELSE wore a bow tie?

  121. El Manquécito said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:16

    Know WHO ELSE wore a bow tie?

    Well, at least it was white and it looks like it was tied by a drunk.

  122. Willy said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:33

    Know WHO ELSE wore a bow tie?

    Sure!

  123. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:42

    “Know WHO ELSE wore a bow tie?”

    Mr. Peabody and Gene Shalit come to mind.

  124. Spearhafoc said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:43

    Sadly, No! is eating my comments. Obviously the result of the anti-bowtie agenda.

    Degenerates.

  125. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:44

    Doc Wilson: It’s the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat’s supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why’d you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?

  126. coldH2Owi said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:44

    You must do more, please, much more. I need, yes, need, you’re genius as I live in FitzWalkerstan & have almost lost my sense of humor.

  127. Spearhafoc said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:47

    My bowties don’t accentuate my ears. They accentuate my awesomeness.

  128. 77south said,

    April 18, 2011 at 17:53

    My bowties don’t accentuate my ears. They accentuate my awesomeness.

    you keep your awesomeness in your ears?

  129. El Manquécito said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:01

    Sox winning on Patriot’s Day? Dice-K pitching a shut-out? Something is very wrong in the space time continuum.

  130. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:04

    Something very wrong indeed. The scary-bright thing is in the sky again, just like yesterday. Am I losing my mind?

  131. Willy said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:05

    you keep your awesomeness in your ears?

    Usually I keep it in a film case, but an ear will do in a pinch.

  132. jim said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:05

    PJTV has an “interview” with a completely “anonymous” member of the DOJ that claims that the DOJ’s outreach to Muslims is jeopardizing national security business

    The story contains one mighty sharp angle: if this is legit, then their staying anonymous would be the only sane way to go – Obama has been putting the boots to whistleblowers like he thinks they’re full of candy.

    Credibility = +5

    Getting on better terms with Muslims as a threat is the same threadbare doublethinky “Fuck Your Way To Innocence” schtick these yuts have been mooing for a long time. An anonymously submitted anecdote is proof like helium is a mammal.

    Credibility = — 99

    It is on PJTV.

    Credibility = — 7.09 X 10¹¹

  133. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:09

    Christopher Kimball is has a BEAST in the boudoir.

    Fixx0rd.

  134. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:12

    Something very wrong indeed. The scary-bright thing is in the sky again, just like yesterday. Am I losing my mind?

    No, I see it too. Is it a sign of the apocalypse?

  135. Lunch Lady said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:33

    Just about anything can pass for a plastic spoon, kid, but a napkin’s a napkin.

  136. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:40

    “Christopher Kimball is has a BEAST in the boudoir.”

    Hey, I don’t know or want to know anything about the size of his dong.

  137. jim said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:45

    The scary-bright thing is in the sky again, just like yesterday. Am I losing my mind?

    Don’t fret, yo – that’s just Ahura Mazda’s way of saying he’s going to just cold drop some pure uncut sun-puke on your ass. ‹ /Zoroastrian ›

    Also, yeah, probably. Welcome to Planet Bedlam!

  138. Whale Chowder said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:47

    No, I see it too. Is it a sign of the apocalypse?

    If it frightens you, come north a few hundred miles. It’s still playing peek-a-boo with us, along with rain, hail and in some places lowland snow. Nothing to be afraid of here.

  139. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:51

    Related to the scary glowing orb.

  140. mark f said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:53

    Shorter Steven F. Hayward:

    Daniel Patrick Moynihan may have a reputation for brilliance, but even the smartest liberal is still st00pid!

    Verbatim Steven F. Hayward, from the same link:

    [Moynihan] was spectacularly wrong in predicting that the 1996 welfare reform act would result in millions of destitute families and children living on the street. “Thus ends the progressive era,” he declared in a note to himself. If only.

  141. J Neo Marvin said,

    April 18, 2011 at 18:57

    Not being much of a scholar, I was trying to decide whether Tintin was going for
    pure Inquisition,
    pure Lovin’ Spoonful, or
    some Inquisition/Lovin’ Spoonful mashup.

    An Inquisition/Lovin’ Spoonful/Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band mashup:

    “Yeah, I’ll be laughing like a lunatic
    That just got away!
    Right now I’m howling like a hypocrite
    At an auto-da-fe!”

  142. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:01

    Don’t worry, Stephen. 1/3 of the country is stupid, loud and shrill enough to seriously derail any slide towards progressivism we were making. CONGRATS!

  143. J Neo Marvin said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:02

    “Know WHO ELSE wore a bow tie?”

    Mr. Peabody and Gene Shalit come to mind.

    Farrakhan?

  144. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:02

    Auto Da-Fe

  145. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:03

    Also.

  146. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:03

    More Auto Da-Fe

  147. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:07

    Also, link fail correction

  148. bbkf said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:09

    special olympics swimming update:

    the daughter won 1 gold and 2 bronzes…all members of the team beat their qualifying times throughout the weekend…bummer was that one of our athletes was taken to the hospital with suspected blood clot…turned out fine, but a long day of waiting…

    all in all, an excellent weekend…especially since i found this

    also, too gocart: ahem!

  149. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:12

    Congrats, bbkf!!! You must be proud.

  150. bbkf said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:20

    super proud! and tired from cheering and giggling…they are quite the fun bunch…

  151. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:21

    Missing fact #5 is no longer missing, it turns out it’s just central to his point!

    UPDATE: I hate to spoil the fun of the many commentators who have gleefully pointed out that the actual confiscation of the Bibles (and hence, presumably, the burning) took place in 2008, on the watch of Geroge W. Bush, not Barack Obama. The story broke in May 2009, and I failed to register the fact that it referred to an earlier event. I apologize for that error; butI also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.

  152. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:32

    [Moynihan] was spectacularly wrong in predicting that the 1996 welfare reform act would result in millions of destitute families and children living on the street. “Thus ends the progressive era,” he declared in a note to himself. If only.

    So those homeless people I see every day don’t exist? Good to know.

  153. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:34

    ” I apologize for that error; butI also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.”

    In fact it is central to his point

  154. mark f said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:37

    So those homeless people I see every day don’t exist?

    But it would be awesome if they did!

  155. bbkf said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:44

    If only

    WINNING!!!

  156. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:46

    ” I apologize for that error; butI also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.”

    Only because there is not one whit in the column in the first place. It is a totally whitless column.

  157. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 19:56

    I also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.

    Indeed, it is central to his point.

  158. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 18, 2011 at 20:08

    Missing fact #5: The military actions at issue occurred in 2008 during the Bush administration.

    Hey now, everbody knows that the Bush administration began on 9/12/2001, and ended on 5/1/ 2003 with the “Mission Accomplished” speech.

    The (9/11 attacks were Clinton’s fault, and the disastrous occupation of Iraq was Obama’s fault).

    Get it straight, people!

  159. bbkf said,

    April 18, 2011 at 20:11

    Hey now, everbody knows that the Bush administration began on 9/12/2001, and ended on 5/1/ 2003 with the “Mission Accomplished” speech.

    The (9/11 attacks were Clinton’s fault, and the disastrous occupation of Iraq was Obama’s fault).

    your grasp of the wingnutosphere is truly awesome…

  160. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 20:23

    If anyone amused by that Ayn Rand comment at BJ the other day hasn’t read the rest of her blog, now’s a fine time to start.

    Oh, do.

  161. CRA said,

    April 18, 2011 at 20:44

    Quote of the day–

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    –Montana rep. Ken Peterson (r), on recruitment of non-gays.
    http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/republican-montana-legislator-thinks

  162. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 18, 2011 at 20:58

    Montana rep. Ken Peterson (r), on recruitment of non-gays.

    He has a pretty active imagination, doesn’t he?

  163. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:01

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    C’mon, representative Peterson, don’t leave us hanging, did you like it or didn’t you?

  164. Marion in Savannah said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:06

    What’s the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?

    Sopranos have resonance where pit bulls have brains. Take it from an alto… We know.

  165. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:09

    tigris said,
    April 18, 2011 at 19:56

    I also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.

    Indeed, it is central to his point.

    gocart mozart said,
    April 18, 2011 at 19:34

    ” I apologize for that error; butI also note that it changes the point of the column not one whit.”

    In fact it is central to his point

    AHEM SIR! I SAID AHEM!

  166. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:12

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    Sounds a bit well-practiced.

  167. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:15

    “C’mon, representative Peterson, don’t leave us hanging, did you like it or didn’t you?”

    I’m pretty sure he’s the recruiter not tHe recruited in that scenario.

  168. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:16

    Gocart, when you BITE ME you will discover I am not a sir.

  169. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:17

    It doesn’t count if you were recruited in college and you were really drunk.

  170. CRA said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:19

    “He has a pretty active imagination, doesn’t he?”–BBBB

    Well yeah, but I find it odd that the homosexual talks exactly like Peterson would in a similar situation, if he were gay.

    On-topic: I really like Grifting in the Wind’s idea of selling the bibles that were burned in Afghanistan. The trade in relics needs a shot in the arm, and we seem to have a market here in the U.S.

  171. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:19

    Also, alas, alack, & c. Thread Bear can ahem us both, so he’ll have to BITE US both, too.

  172. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:19

    Gocart, when you BITE ME you will discover I am not a sir.

    Oh COME ON Sir Git.

  173. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:29

    My apologies tigris
    I realized that after I hit submit
    Your name should have been a clue
    Plus I think I already knew
    The ‘joke’ works better with ‘SIR”
    and lastly, it was not intended as a factual statement.

    Are we cool and when can we schedule this “bite me” thing? I am free Wednesdays and Saturdays.

  174. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:29

    The trade in relics needs a shot in the arm, and we seem to have a market here in the U.S.

    One could always sell strands of the pitch-black, never dyed (HONEST!!!) hair of St. Ronbo, and claim that it cures disease and wards off socialist union thugs.

  175. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:30

    You’ll find you like it.

  176. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:33

    Subby doesn’t get me at all, like 180 degrees off.

  177. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:35

    Are we cool and when can we schedule this “bite me” thing? I am free Wednesdays and Saturdays.

    If you wish to take a bite,
    The line, old shoe, forms on the right.

  178. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:40

    Daniel Patrick Moynihan, it should be noted, was usually attired in a bow tie.

  179. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:43

    ““Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    Once you go gay, you keep pussy at bay.

  180. smut clyde said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:46

    The line, old shoe, forms on the right.

    This seems to be a very slow-moving queue.
    I blame ZRM shambling.

  181. DrDick said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:47

    He has a pretty active imagination, doesn’t he?

    *sigh*
    You do not know the half of it and he is far from alone. I do really wish all of these loony toons would go Galt and leave the rest of us in the state alone.

  182. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:52

    “Gocart, when you BITE ME you will discover I am not a sir.”

    It is not my fault that my default assumption is male. Yes, I am a victim of the patriarchy also.

  183. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:54

    Once you go gay, you keep pussy at bay.

    Offer not valid for lesbians. They hope, anyway.

  184. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:54

    Damn zombies always gum up the works.

  185. Homosexual Recruiter said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:56

    ““Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    Hey man, I’m just doing my part to stop abortions!

  186. wingnut gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:58

    Men are the real victims of patriarchy; women are the sexists.

    [Should I quit while I am ahead?]

  187. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 21:59

    Oooh, I like where you’re going with this.

    We need to come up with a pithy slogan to promote this new pro-gay sex/anti-abortion agenda.

  188. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:00

    Somebody is certainly asking to be oppressed.

    Also: NO GUMMING.

  189. tigris said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:01

    Hey man, I’m just doing my part to stop abortions!

    That’s too perfect.

  190. Rick "I will throw my hat into the frothy mix any day now" Santorum said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:03

    “Hey man, I’m just doing my part to stop abortions!”

    If more gay men fucked women 20 and 30 years ago we wouldn’t have this budget problem with all the new FICA tax revenue and such.

  191. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:09

    “We need to come up with a pithy slogan to promote this new pro-gay sex/anti-abortion agenda.”

    Don’t make a fetus, come in Cletus.

  192. vs said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:11

    go-mo…rofl

  193. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:11

    Don’t make a fetus, cum in Cletus (TM)

  194. Thread Bear said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:22

    Stop Abortion!
    Be Homosexual, not Homocidal.

  195. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:22

    So I says to Mabel, I says, “Don’t make a fetus, come in Cletus.” and everyone laughed at my staggering wit.

    I dare you to sue me Mr. Gocart Mozart, if that is your real name (and if it is, my condolences).

    P.S. Please don’t sue me.

  196. Jeffrey Dahmer said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:27

    “Be Homosexual, not Homocidal”

    Ahem.

  197. Steerpike said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:30

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    Man, that’s got to be the smoothest, hawtest pickup line I’ve ever heard! That man must get more trim than a barber!

  198. vacuumslayer said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:39

    I appreciate the awkward formality. It’s almost endearing.

  199. El Manquécito said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:53

    Also: NO GUMMING.

    Aww, baby take your teeth out.

  200. El Manquécito said,

    April 18, 2011 at 22:54

    WordPress refused to accept that as a Zappa reference.

  201. gocart mozart said,

    April 18, 2011 at 23:00

    “I dare you to sue me Mr. Gocart Mozart, if that is your real name (and if it is, my condolences).

    P.S. Please don’t sue me.”

    I WON’T IF YOU BITE ME SIR!

    P.S.
    [Please coordinate any appointment with tigris so as to minimise sceduling conflicts. Thank you in advance.]

    gm

  202. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 18, 2011 at 23:17

    J Neo Marvin,

    Bonzo Dog Doo Dah.

    Wow.

  203. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 18, 2011 at 23:57

    Fixxored?
    Zappa reference

  204. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 0:49

    Super. Copypasta troll has assumed another nym.

    Fuck you, Troofie.

  205. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2011 at 0:57

    I blow goats.

    Thanks for sharing. What about badgers?

  206. The Truth said,

    April 19, 2011 at 0:59

    Watch me blow this goat.

  207. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:01

    You, sir, are no Whale Chowder.

  208. The Truth said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:02

    Badger blowing is only for special occasions.

  209. LanceThruster said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:06

    How on earth did the term “dildo” ever become synonymous with a “doofus” since the dildo is the very antithesis of a doofus – i.e. a “sex machine”?

    Hence the existence of phrase “more ass than a toilet seat”, but not, “more pussy than a dildo”.

  210. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:07

    Nym stealing is a sure route to Tintin executing the killfile.

  211. Toofus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:12

    Thanks for sharing. What about badgers?

    I won’t share my badger with anyone. He and I are special friends.

  212. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:13

    You, sir, are no Whale Chowder.

    Well that’s a relief.

  213. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:17

    Wow, just like old times! Namestealing Troofie pooing all over everything.

    I don’t remember seeing anything like that since just before a great big LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

  214. M. Bouffant said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:19

    Clue for the copyist: Here in the 21st century, real Americans have scroll wheels on their mouses.

    No one’s even reading that ignorant drivel for laughs or schadenfreude, cretin.

    And a real man would link to the original crap’s site, so the author could be beaten into submission.

  215. g said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:20

    It’s kind of fun that the thing the troll uses as a negative tool are the nonsensical ravings of his own compatriots.

    “I know what will REALLY be unpleasant – the insane rantings I espouse!!”

  216. The Shithouse Troll said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:23

    Pull ma fingah!

  217. CRA said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:30

    I suppose reasonable people can differ on whether we should boycott Passover and Easter this year to underscore the threat posed by the Left-Islamofascist alliance.

  218. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:31

    Scrolling the mouse!!!!

    Ya know, I think my first comments here (before the hump formed) were about Troofie.

    snif….

    Memories,
    light the corners of my mind
    Misty watercolor memories
    of the
    way we
    were.

  219. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:32

    You won’t have Jesus to piss on any more.

  220. g said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:35

    within seconds the group managed to take a hammer to the plexiglass screen and slash the photograph with another sharp object, thought to be a screwdriver or ice-pick

    Great job, guys. You slashed a photograph. Serrano can make another print.

    Censorship FAIL.

  221. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:39

    And all for Catholicism. You’d think they might beat a molesting priest to death with a hammer, BUT NO.

  222. tigris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:50

    I’d like to see all the art-destroyers’ press releases about how out-of-control radical Muslims are.

  223. Solid Snake said,

    April 19, 2011 at 1:58

    Hey evryone. Long time lurker, first time commenting.

    Just want to let everyone kno I will continue stealthily lurking around Jihad style.

    That is all.

    PS: Oh and I fell for it, I actually read te second article that the troll posted.Shariah Law is upon us!!! (soon, if republicans don’t get elected!)

  224. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:01

    The gallery immediately stepped up security, putting plexiglass in front of the photograph and assigning two gallery guards to stand in front of it.

    Perhaps the guards were given unclear instructions.

  225. The Truth said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:11

    I pooped my pants. Again.

  226. vs said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:16

    David Vitter?

  227. The Truth said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:16

    Copying and pasting large blocks of text is very exacting work. Sometimes when I’m concentrating very hard, I loose control of my sphincter. It’s embarrassing, but I gladly pay the price of ruined undergarments and foul odors to bring the truth to this comedy blog.

  228. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:26

    Perhaps the guards were given unclear instructions.

    Avoiding getting hit by hammers generally trumps clear instructions.

  229. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:30

    What is that nostril-torturing stench?

    Oh, hi, Troofie.

    Anybody got a hurlbag?

  230. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 2:47

    Troofie, are your hormones raging? I know someone who can assist with your little problem*.

    VμPR

  231. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 3:28

    You’ll find you like it!

  232. Snorghagen said,

    April 19, 2011 at 3:35

    Civitas, a lobby group that says it aims to re-Christianize France…

    …a task that can succeed only if the all-powerful Piss Christ is destroyed.

  233. boooo said,

    April 19, 2011 at 3:40

    You aren’t my #1 stalker. All my stalkers are equal in my eyes. So sad. Ahh, look, truth. So irritating and unproductive. *sigh*

  234. The Truth said,

    April 19, 2011 at 4:39

    Raging hormones do not make a homo out of me. My hormones are heterosexual. ‘Cept fore that one time that PJ tempted me. I was drunk………

  235. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 19, 2011 at 4:55

    Address my points, Libs! Here is how it will go down – etc. etc.

    At least fake Gary writes his own posts.

    How did that go down, Troofus?

  236. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 19, 2011 at 6:20

    In honour of our wonderful troll friend, I almost considered spamming the thread with writing that was actually good.

    I was thinking I would copy/paste an English translation of , Théophile Gautier’s La Morte Amoureuse, – a lovely little story from 1836 about a priest who falls in love with a vampire – but I decided against it.

  237. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 19, 2011 at 6:24

    Mr. Mozart: “WON’T IF YOU BITE ME SIR!

    P.S.
    [Please coordinate any appointment with tigris so as to minimise sceduling conflicts. Thank you in advance.]”

    Thursday at 8 good for you? Because it’s terrible for me.

    P.S. Mr. Mozart, I love your music. Wait, you did write Friday, right?

  238. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 19, 2011 at 15:58

    The thread…

    It’s dead, Jim.

  239. Chris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:01

    Since this thread seems as dead as Julius Caesar, here’s a link to something posted on Balloon Juice for y’all to read while waiting for a new thread:

    9 Things The Rich Don’t Want You To Know About Taxes.

    I was gone all of yesterday and haven’t caught up yet, so if someone’s already linked to this, I offer my most abject apologies.

  240. Chris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:02

    Well played, Spearhafoc, very well played indeed!

  241. g said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:16

    I was listening to NPR yesterday, their business show called Marketplace, I think. There was a story about taxes, being that it was April 18. And the anchor was talking about how the poor don’t pay taxes…..”so it works out pretty well for them.”

    Yeah. It’s great. Except for the being poor part.

  242. Major Kong said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:23

    Must be that “Liberal NPR” I keep hearing about.

  243. Chris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:26

    Yeah. It’s great. Except for the being poor part.

    Yeah, also, the more seriously injured you are, the faster you’ll get processed in an emergency room, so people who’ve been shot in the chest three times are actually better off than people who’ve broken an ankle…

    Detachment doesn’t begin to describe this.

  244. vs said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:47

    “And the anchor was talking about how the poor don’t pay taxes…..”so it works out pretty well for them.”

    GOOD. GRIEF.

  245. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:53

    Stay classy, Orange County!

  246. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 16:55

    A few years ago, a WSJ columnist referred to those who don’t pay federal income taxes as “lucky ducks.”

    Good link, Chris. Curious that David Cay Johnston is rarely seen on television……….

  247. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:14

    This is like people who rag on fedoras just because hipsters wear them (okay, hipsters actually wear trilbies, but everybody seems to call them fedoras anyway).

    What about fezzes? Fezzes are cool.

  248. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:16

    It’s the Willy Week! I pick up a dead tree copy every week – it’s free, right? They sometimes have decent writing as well, as in this case.

    On the other off-topic topic, I’m glad I missed that marketplace comment. That would have sent me through the roof. It’s not just that the notion is so … so … I don’t have the word for it but also because it’s just fucking wrong. The working poor pay lots of taxes – payroll taxes, sales taxes, etc.- , just perhaps not Federal income tax.

  249. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:21

    “I simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth,” Davenport wrote. “In no way did I even consider the fact he’s half black when I sent out the email. In fact, the thought never entered my mind until one or two other people [Scott Baugh, Orange County GOP boss, and this writer] tried to make this about race. . . . I received plenty of emails about George Bush that I didn’t particularly like yet there was no ‘cry’ in the media about them.” 

    Again, I am speechless.

  250. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:22

    “And the anchor was talking about how the poor don’t pay taxes…..”so it works out pretty well for them.”

    Just fantasizing here, but wouldn’t it be nice if that anchor’s employer were so kind as to give that anchor an opportunity to pay no taxes and see just how well that works out for him or her.

  251. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:25

    Kaaaaaaai Ryssdal?

    I missed that somehow. How did I miss that? I think I was running errands.

    Unemployed people get to sleep in, so that works out pretty well for them, too.

  252. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:29

    “Oh, come on! Everybody who knows me knows that I am not a racist. It was a joke. I have friends who are black. Besides, I only sent it to a few people–mostly people I didn’t think would be upset by it.”

    this is my favorite…especially since it follows the ‘i didn’t think about it being racist until somebody else told me it was’ quote. let me see if i follow this: you didn’t think it was racist, and you are not because you have friends who are black, and yet, you found this amusing that you sent it to only a few friends who would not be upset by it because it’s not racist?

  253. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:30

    Unemployed people get to sleep in, so that works out pretty well for them, too.

    some of them also get to buy any kind of groceries they want and use a nifty little card to pay for them!

  254. tigris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:32

    Davenport said, “Oh, come on! Everybody who knows me knows that I am not a racist. It was a joke. I have friends who are black. Besides, I only sent it to a few people–mostly people I didn’t think would be upset by it.”

    Did she send it to all her bestest black buddies? Or just the white racist friends she knew would love it?

  255. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:32

    Unemployed people get to sleep in, so that works out pretty well for them, too.

    But when you’re unemployed there’s no vacation. Although you get to stay home and play synthesizers, so there’s that.

  256. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:36

    Although you get to stay home and play synthesizers, so there’s that.

    That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life…

  257. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:37

    Although you get to stay home and play synthesizers, so there’s that.

    don’t forget Lifetime movies! that’s what i would do should i be lucky enough to become unemployed…let’s hope my yearly review goes well tomorrow night! or not…i could use some extra sleep…

  258. Chris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:39

    this is my favorite…especially since it follows the ‘i didn’t think about it being racist until somebody else told me it was’ quote. let me see if i follow this: you didn’t think it was racist, and you are not because you have friends who are black, and yet, you found this amusing that you sent it to only a few friends who would not be upset by it because it’s not racist?

    Pretty schizophrenic relationship they have with racism (in public, at least – it’s much less ambiguous in private).

    A right wing commentator at PJTV once explained that the right couldn’t possibly be racist, because a real racist would wear the badge proudly. (This is the same group that believes liberals are stealth communists who’re just eschewing the label because it’s unpopular).

  259. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:41

    Fezzes ARE cool.

    Little Ed with fez

    and the guy who taught him

    uncle J.B. Hutto with fez

  260. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:48

    Pretty schizophrenic relationship they have with racism (in public, at least – it’s much less ambiguous in private).

    A right wing commentator at PJTV once explained that the right couldn’t possibly be racist, because a real racist would wear the badge proudly. (This is the same group that believes liberals are stealth communists who’re just eschewing the label because it’s unpopular).

    it still boggles me mind that masses of people actually swallow this bullshit…and that is intended as a factual statement…

  261. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:48

    I am now obligated by contract to say:

    Ain’t never gonna do it without the fez on.

  262. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:53

    A right wing commentator at PJTV once explained that the right couldn’t possibly be racist, because a real racist would wear the badge proudly.

    Just like my (soon-to-be former) boss can’t be an obnoxious asshole, because he doesn’t think of himself as an obnoxious asshole.

  263. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 17:55

    My favorite part:

    …Davenport does not appear ready to concede she has made a mistake. After this story was published, she sent another email to fellow California conservative activists. It demanded to know the identity of “the coward” who supplied [the author] with a copy of her offensive email.

    OMG betrayed!

  264. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:00

    It demanded to know the identity of “the coward” who supplied [the author] with a copy of her offensive email.

    because it was totes a non-racist email…

  265. CRA said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:02

    I seem to recall an Onion op-ed by a (fictional) asshole who argues that he knows he’s an asshole, it’s his thing.

    Pardon me for not Googling “Onion asshole man” or the like. But if I did have a link, it would satirize the “I wear the [racist/asshole/etc.] badge proudly” gambit.

  266. Marion in Savannah said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:05

    Are you sure that was an Onion op-ed, and not Bobo Brooks in the Times today? (Or any other day, for that matter.)

  267. tigris said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:09

    A right wing commentator at PJTV once explained that the right couldn’t possibly be racist, because a real racist would wear the badge proudly.

    Because racists are so awesome that it’s just not possible to be a racist AND a coward.

  268. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:09

    org/mobile/feature.php?area=marketplace&feed=marketplace&id=%2Fdisplay%2Fweb%2F2011%2F04%2F18%2Fpm-history-of-tax-burdens-in-us%2F

    it wasn’t the host Bob Moon (say that name three times, quickly). It was the expert guest. And in context it wasn’t so egregious. Not that it wasn’t a ham-handed thing to sAy, even in context but … well read the transcript yourself.

  269. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:09

    OT: heh…tom rothman on the minnesota farm network just said ‘a non-dumping duty’

  270. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:13

    it wasn’t the host Bob Moon (say that name three times, quickly). It was the expert guest. And in context it wasn’t so egregious. Not that it wasn’t a ham-handed thing to sAy, even in context but … well read the transcript yourself.

    Oh, I did hear that and really didn’t think anything of it. *saves outrage for later*

  271. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:14

    When I was MUCH younger i had a strong sociopathic misanthropic thing going on (which thing I have mostly overcome, btw). I was an asshole, I knew I wS a fuckingjerk, I worked at being a dickwad and I enjoyed it. Also I was very very good at it. Too.

  272. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:17

    When I was MUCH younger i had a strong sociopathic misanthropic thing going on (which thing I have mostly overcome, btw). I was an asshole, I knew I wS a fuckingjerk, I worked at being a dickwad and I enjoyed it. Also I was very very good at it. Too.

    “I don’t need you to tell me that I’m a son of a bitch. I’ve been one all my life, and I like it. It pays well and there’s no heavy lifting.”
    –Larry Miller, Law & Order

  273. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:20

    I’ve always wanted to be a misanthropic asshole. I’m no good at it, though.

  274. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:25

    Hey, Pup: I liKe the iDea of randOm capitaliZation.

  275. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:25

    With a few notable exceptions, very few people would admit to being a racist. They will say things like, “I’m not a racist, but I just think those people should know their place”, or “I’m not a racist, but I sure wouldn’t want a family of nigros to move into this neighborhood. What if one of ‘em wanted to date my daughter?”. It’s up to everyone else to identify them as racists. (Hint, anyone who begins a statement with “I’m not a racist, but…”)

  276. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:30

    I’m a misanthrope. Kinda pride myself on not being an asshole, though. Why should everyone have to suffer cuz I’m a cranky old lady?

  277. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:31

    Steerpike, don’t forget “Some of my best friends are…”

  278. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:36

    The random caps are An artifact of my ineptitude and an iPhone.

  279. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:39

    I’m not a racist but…
    I’m not homophobic but…
    Im not anti-Semitic but…
    I’m not against Muslims but…
    und sO weiter…

  280. CRA said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:40

    “Artifacts of my Ineptitude” would be a good title for an album or a collection of essays. Or a blog.

  281. Butch said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:44

    pupienus,

    I think you are all of the above, most importantly anti- caucasian

  282. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:51

    I think you are all of the above, most importantly anti- caucasian

    I, for one, hate all of the peoples of the Caucasus Mountains.

    I’m not too keen on people from the Crimea either!

  283. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:53

    Funny thing about the weekends when you’re unemployed — they don’t mean quite so much. ‘Cept you get to hang out with your working friends…

    I can’t believe it’s been over 20 years since that album came out. Damn I’m old.

  284. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:54

    Speaking of racism, did you guys see this: http://www.angryblacklady.com/2011/04/17/teabilly-racism-is-so-old-school-its-hard-not-to-laugh-at-it/

  285. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 18:56

    We can always count on B^4′s support when it comes to anti-Crimea legislation.

  286. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:02

    Pardon me for not Googling “Onion asshole man” or the like.

    I hear you, just thinking about what results you could find gives me the creeping horrors.

  287. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:03

    I, for one, hate all of the peoples of the Caucasus Mountains.

    I really wouldn’t mind so much except that every election year they show up in Iowa and meddle in our politics.

  288. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:07

    I linked that bag of racist tea here the other day. Nice to see that he’s getting more exposure. I sincerely hope that he becomes the face of the teabagger “party.”

  289. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:12

    I’m a misanthrope. Kinda pride myself on not being an asshole, though. Why should everyone have to suffer cuz I’m a cranky old lady?

    I’d just settle for being an asshole in situations where it’s warranted.

    I am what one might refer to as a “doormat.”

  290. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:13

    Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon in front of them
       Volley’d and thunder’d;

    Criminy, no wonder you don’t care for Crimea.

  291. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:19

    The National Geographic had a good article about Crimea recently. Apparently it’s suffering from an identity crisis because it’s physically attached to and administered by Ukraine, but a lot of the people there self-identify as Russians.

    To make the situation even more absurd, one of the USSR’s leaders (I forget which one) “gave” Crimea to Ukraine. It was at the time a meaningless gesture, because Ukraine was of course part of the USSR. But once they got their independence, the Ukrainians dusted off that old decree and used it to cement their claim on Crimea, along with its naval base and other resources.

  292. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:22

    ‘I linked that bag of racist tea here the other day. Nice to see that he’s getting more exposure. I sincerely hope that he becomes the face of the teabagger “party.”’

    I’m sans pc for a few days and feel like I missed out on eventful events. I also noticed some Led Zeppelin references from the other day. Oh well. Nobody’s fault but mine…..

  293. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:25

    Epic fail or epic ratfuckery? http://imgur.com/2OVzT

  294. El Manquécito said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:31

    along with its naval base and other resources.

    Among other things those resources include what passes for beaches in the Russian mind. Almost tropical.

  295. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:48

    Epic fail or epic ratfuckery?

    i like the look on his face…he’s like ‘the juice! you, know…the juice…what do you mean, what do i mean?!?! the juice!’

  296. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:48

    Just ran across someone proposing that May 22 be declared Nelson Muntz Day. . Funny. Wish I had thought of it.

  297. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:49

    First they came for the milkshakes, and I said nothing….

  298. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 19, 2011 at 19:50

    I’m not too keen on people from the Crimea either!

    Oh, Crimea river.

  299. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:00

    Nelson Muntz Day

    The black-capped chickadee is known to my daughter as “the Nelson bird”.

  300. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:01

    Oh, Crimea river.

    Quit Russian to judgement.

  301. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:02

    I mean, Ukraine take my right to hate Urals from my cold, dead fingers.

  302. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:03

    Quit Russian to judgement

    Odessa good one!

  303. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:05

    Death to the Danishes.

  304. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:05

    “Oh, Crimea river.”

    Odessa bad one.

  305. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:05

    FY steerpike.

  306. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:07

    FY steerpike.

    Don’t have a Moscow, man!

  307. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:08

    This wont go well Foros. Yalta yalta yalta

  308. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:12

    Must run errands so I’ll just khanate now. Tatar for now.

  309. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:23

    Uzbecka be back soon!

  310. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:24

    Volga.

  311. sirious said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:24

    sirously, you stole my tampons and burnt a hole in my carpet? That is your day. WoW.

  312. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:32

    Everyone is Serbian quite all of a sudden

  313. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:38

    Subs doesn’t Minsk words.

  314. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:38

    Geez. What’d I miss? That’ll teach me to go Chekhov.

  315. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:38

    Estonia gonna say this once: quit with the geographic puns!

  316. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:47

    Not that there’s much to Croatia about…

    God help me, I love the impromptu pun threads

  317. El Manquécito said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:47

    Since nothing else seems to be able to kill this thread let’s try literature. Odessa must have been an interesting place; I highly recommend Isaac Babel’s stories on the subject. Talk about your juice!

  318. Thread Bear said,

    April 19, 2011 at 20:52

    Death to all juice

    Someone’s still upset over the O. J. Simpson verdict.

  319. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:00

    I highly recommend Isaac Babel’s stories on the subject. Talk about your juice!

    that isn’t pulp fiction is it?

  320. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:01

    You know who else had an Odessa File?

  321. bbkf said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:08

    Odessa must have been an interesting place;

    the one i live in was too…today, not so much…just mostly old folks and young tots with a few of us in our 40s in between. at one time we were a commerce center…now we are proud that we are the only town in the county that showed growth in the last census…we went from 113 to 136!!!

  322. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:14

    pulp fiction

    that’s gudenov to win.

  323. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:15

    Babel’s is a towering work.

  324. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:16

    Ukraine say that again!

  325. El Manquécito said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:17

    The only Odessa I’ve actually been to was in Tejas and seemed just like all the rest of that part of TX. No juice.

  326. M. Bouffant said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:18

    Via @theharryshearer:

    Read the headline first, then the URL. Priceless.

    He’s right. Click for funny.

  327. lurking furry said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:20

    “Fezzes are cool.”

    Yes! Don’t make me do it without the fez on!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q71gvV9n9Cs

  328. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:38

    I found a cracker the other day shaped uncannily like my home state. I wonder how much I could get for it on eBay. As a matter of fact, I’ve got a whole box of them! What’re the chances?

    Go Rockies!

  329. no bow-tie smedley said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:38

    That’s not Colorado! That’s Wyoming.

  330. Steerpike said,

    April 19, 2011 at 21:50

    At first I thought it was Kansa, but it wasn’t flat enough

  331. Pupienus said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:18

    “That’s Wyoming”

    I keep hearing that no one ever answers the questio. Wyoming?

  332. lurking furry said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:21

    I owe a lot to Iowa pot.

  333. Yao Ming said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:25

    I keep hearing that no one ever answers the questio. Wyoming?

    Wy not?

  334. Whale Chowder said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:38

    Wyoming?

    To keep Colorado away from Montana.

  335. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:38

    “The black-capped chickadee is known to my daughter as “the Nelson bird”.”

    Rofl! Holy crap, that’s exactly what it sounds like.

  336. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:46

    LOOK OUT!!!!

    lurking furry iz gonna get ‘ahemmed’ by Teh Thread Bear.

  337. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:50

    Ereebody needs to clear his throat! No mo AHEMing!

  338. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 22:57

    Rofl! Holy crap, that’s exactly what it sounds like.

    There are a lot in the trees by my workplace in the morning. They make me angry.

  339. vacuumslayer said,

    April 19, 2011 at 23:00

    Don’t take it personally, Substance. I’m sure they’re not Muntzing you.

    Wait. Did you wear something goofy today?

  340. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 19, 2011 at 23:04

    Ye-NO. NO I DID NOT.

  341. Anonymous said,

    April 19, 2011 at 23:16

    What about fezzes? Fezzes are cool.

    Sad news for Whovians– Sarah Jane’s actress died.

    I was very surprised– I had no idea she was ill.

  342. LanceThruster said,

    April 20, 2011 at 0:50

    The thingies shaped like Florida often sell real well; whether battery operated or AC power.

  343. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 0:56

    Just a teensy twist on the anti-gay legislator outing whirlwind.

  344. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2011 at 1:06

    Just a teensy twist on the anti-gay legislator outing whirlwind.

    I imagine very little teabagging on her part.

  345. CRA said,

    April 20, 2011 at 1:17

    First they came with the dildos, and I said nothing, because I was not a dildo.

  346. vs said,

    April 20, 2011 at 1:37


    Ye-NO. NO I DID NOT.”

    Oh. So oversized novelty sunglasses and clown shoes aren’t goofy? Ooooooh. Must be a Canada thang.

  347. vs said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:14

    Thread dead? I blame funny-dressing Canadians!

  348. McJohn said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:30

    Gee, ya think Ms. Orange County Brotherhood of Man of 2011 is gonna be surprised at how many Black friends she abruptly and irrevocably no longer has?

  349. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:37

    Ye-NO. NO I DID NOT.

    You wore the skirt, didn’t you?!!

  350. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:39

    The skirt is SEXY not GOOFY.

  351. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:44

    ….came with the dildos…

    I am commentarily nearly paralyzed by the number of possible comments that phrase could generate.

  352. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 2:57

    I am commentarily nearly paralyzed

    Upper lip only partially stiff?

  353. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:08

    vs said, “Thread dead? I blame funny-dressing Canadians!”

    What about us Canadians who don’t dress funny?

    Oh, who am I kidding?

  354. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:11

    Fooey, spoofed.

  355. Steerpike said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:13

    So, what will Gay Putzriot have to say when UM students succeed in outing the closet-lesbo Montana legislator?

  356. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:17

    Many a slip twixt cup and lip.
    (or something ………..)

    Spoofing the URL’s!!!!!!!!!!11
    Also.

  357. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:31

    Outing the closet-lesbo.

  358. El Manquécito said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:32

    Spoofing the URL’s!!!!!!!!!!11

    I like that! It’s even better spelled “Spoofing the Earl”.

  359. jim said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:36

    Oh my, how very appropriate … & how gloriously schadenfreudelicious.

    Victim Number One, please sign in!

    The Truth said,
    April 19, 2011 at 0:59 (unkill)

    The Truth said,
    April 19, 2011 at 1:02 (unkill)

    The Truth said,
    April 19, 2011 at 2:11 (unkill)

    The Truth said,
    April 19, 2011 at 2:16 (unkill)

    The Truth said,
    April 19, 2011 at 4:39 (unkill)

    “Here, young troll, your butthurt is raging. Let’s go in this killfile, and we’ll engage in some Interwebs acts. You’ll find you dread it.”

  360. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:40

    Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

  361. El Manquécito said,

    April 20, 2011 at 3:48

    You’ll find you dread it.

    I hope I never have to go out to the woodshed with jim.

  362. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 20, 2011 at 4:19

    Hysterical.

    LGM links (R. Farley, with bonus Subs McG.) to Pandagon riffing on a panel hosted by Chris Mathews, containing Sully, JokeLine, O Norah, and someone I gratefully never heard of, discussing HELL.

    Sample Sully shorter:

    Luckily, since we’re all speaking bullshit, evidence against my insinuations is irrelevant.

    http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/what_atheists_hear_when_people_debate_theology#When:19:10:44Z

  363. Snorghagen said,

    April 20, 2011 at 5:11

    Fezzes are cool.

    Absolutely. Just ask the King.

  364. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2011 at 8:50

    Working a graveyard… anybody out there? Antipodeans? Insomniacs? Freaks? A combination of all three?

  365. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2011 at 9:46

    Sipping some beer on the left coast, pretty quiet ’round here tonight.

  366. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2011 at 9:58

    It’s quiet here, in the predawn hours- good thing whilst working.

  367. smut clyde said,

    April 20, 2011 at 10:23

    Antipodeans? Insomniacs? Freaks?

    Mustn’t sleep. The clowns will get me.

  368. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 20, 2011 at 10:30

    Whoa, PENIS.

  369. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2011 at 10:56

    Mustn’t sleep. The clowns will get me.

    The clowns with get you natheless- why resist?

    Whoa, PENIS.

    Kinky!

  370. smedley said,

    April 20, 2011 at 12:53

    “Working a graveyard”

    VnecromaniaR?

  371. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 20, 2011 at 13:03

    VnecromaniaR?

    Hey now, the proper terminology is going out for a cold one.

  372. lurking furry said,

    April 20, 2011 at 13:21

    I’m ahem myself. Missed it totally. Sorry Mr. Bear.

  373. lurking furry said,

    April 20, 2011 at 13:27

    I mean “I’LL ahem myself”, and I mean sorry in the sense of I apologize.

    I need more coffee.

  374. real scotsman said,

    April 20, 2011 at 13:45

    And I love the absolute freakout in the comments section. The very first one is a guy explaining in as conservative terms as possible that we have to be practical, and that since we know Afghans are all ignorant superstitious monkey cannibal savages, we shouldn’t drive them into more of a feeding frenzy than they’re already in.

    long time ago, before the frenzied discussions above (i’m assuming)…. but the 1st guy in the comments section didn’t say it about Afgans, he said it about all Arabs and Muslims. If even a commenter making modrate racist comments like this is getting condemed, then you have to wonder about the mentality of the others condeming him. Have these fuckers ever met a Muslim/Arab/Afgani? Or perhaps, like the old Iranains are Arabs meme, they just display their ignorance everytime they open their stupid mouths.

  375. mark f said,

    April 20, 2011 at 14:52

    Shorter Scott “Scott.0″ Johnson:

    Let’s put twenty seconds on the clock and see how many jokes we can make about this video. Fat women are disgusting and hilarious, amirite? Um . . . Michelle Obama lol. Stupid unions.

  376. mark f said,

    April 20, 2011 at 15:19

    He says there that the women in the video are thirty pounds overweight. He himself might be carrying about 30 extra pounds. (He’s in the middle in this picture) This isn’t the first time he’s criticized people for looking like him.

  377. vs said,

    April 20, 2011 at 16:22

    Has this fellow ever attended a tea party rally?

  378. N__B said,

    April 20, 2011 at 16:40

    VnecromaniaR?

    Sex with the corpse of Queen Victoria? No, thanks.

  379. Chris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 16:45

    If even a commenter making modrate racist comments like this is getting condemed, then you have to wonder about the mentality of the others condeming him.

    It’s the kind of mentality that really lends itself to the paranoid, they’re-all-out-to-get-me outlook on life.

    I think it’s Not A Gator who’s pointed this story out a few times: a hundred years or so ago, the New York banking industry actively colluded to lock Jews out of the business and keep it in the (all-WASP) family. But those antisemites were still accused of being a Jewish conspiracy by many other antisemites.

    Identity politics voters are dumb. Really, really, really, really fucking stupid. Evidence of this rolls in every day from just about every identity group.

  380. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2011 at 16:54

    Let’s have a big anniversary blowout! After all, the blowout preventer doesn’t function.

  381. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 20, 2011 at 17:34

    Hey now, the proper terminology is going out for a cold one.

    Hrrrmmmhhh

    Wakey, wakey.

  382. Whale Chowder said,

    April 20, 2011 at 17:57

    OT (as if): Somewhere, Mickey Kaus has a sad.

  383. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2011 at 18:18

    The goat, dubbed Beethoven for its apparent love of music, is being held at the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter.

    If it isn’t claimed, someone is ready to adopt it.

    So Mickey Kaus will only have a sad if it’s rightful owner shows up to claim it. I wonder if that cd store has a ‘music to blow goats by’ section.

  384. smedley said,

    April 20, 2011 at 18:36

    I haven’t herd anything from Mickey in a while……

  385. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 18:39

    “wonder if that cd store has a ‘music to blow goats by’ section.”

    That’s just fucking awful. Please, ” music by which to blow goats.”

  386. Mickey Kaus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 18:40

    Roll over, Beethoven!

  387. smedley said,

    April 20, 2011 at 18:49

    And, we have liftoff:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2Gq9T7y4bo

  388. mingo said,

    April 20, 2011 at 19:04

    I haven’t herd anything from Mickey in a while……

    he doesn’t like goats anymore, he’s blown the coop.

  389. Winston Churchill said,

    April 20, 2011 at 19:07

    That’s just fucking awful. Please, ” music by which to blow goats.”

    This is the sort of pedantic nonsense up with which I shall not put!

  390. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 20, 2011 at 19:08

    Watch out for giant flying robot spy sperm.

  391. Lurking Canadian said,

    April 20, 2011 at 19:46

    Watch out for giant flying robot spy sperm.

    I for one welcome, etc., etc., etc.

  392. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2011 at 19:52

    That’ll teach those jizzhadis.

  393. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 20, 2011 at 20:19

    Vorsprung durch samenzellenluftschifftechnik, babeeeeeeeeee.

  394. smedley said,

    April 20, 2011 at 20:38

    I cannot express how much I agree with you, hunch.

  395. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2011 at 20:49

    K-Lo:

    Star Wars Helps NRO April 20, 2011 1:47 P.M. By Kathryn Jean Lopez From a $25 contributor to our spring fundraising drive:
    I used “It’s a TARP” on my son, the Star Wars fan. He’s just 6. You guys give me great material to plant the seeds of conservatism in his little head. Thanks for his future.

    If you like Star Wars. If you hate Star Wars. Water the ground.

    Watering the ground.

  396. gocart mozart said,

    April 20, 2011 at 20:54

    Behold! The stupidest thing ever written at least until the next stupidest thing ever written is written which will be at most a couple of days if history is any judge.

    http://wizbangblog.com/content/2011/04/20/the-audacity-of-dope.php

  397. Thread Bear said,

    April 20, 2011 at 20:54

    K’Lo!!! I water the ground she walks on.

  398. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:05

    It’s been clear for some time that he’s largely disinterested in the office. Oh, he loves the perqs and benefits and attention, but he’s bored and annoyed with the responsibilities and burdens and obligations that go with the office.

    and he knows this how?

  399. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:06

    I used “It’s a TARP” on my son, the Star Wars fan.

    Bailout of the incompetent and unworthy looter class with dollars earned by workers flimflammed into voting against their own interest? Um, yay future?

  400. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:06

    “Behold! The stupidest thing ever written at least until the next stupidest thing ever written is written which will be at most a couple of days picoseconds if history is any judge.”

    Speaking of which, I haven’t checked teh Gay PutzRiot in a while.

  401. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:10

    and he knows this how?

    He knows because HE KNOWS.

  402. Steerpike said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:12

    Speaking of which, I haven’t checked teh Gay PutzRiot in a while.

    Not “Ahem”ing, but I did wonder some time last night, when the thread was younger than it is now (Not exactly a spring chicken even then, mind you…) what plearls of wisdom would drip* from His Gaytriotness about the plan to “out” the self-loathing Montana closet-hag.

    *VER

  403. Steerpike said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:13

    “Pearls”, even

  404. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:14

    I particularly like the admission that sure, he’s been wrong before in making these links that don’t exist, and to be perfectly honest more often than not, but this time is different! Except you know, this example is kind of made up, these apply even more to the last president than this one, but STILL.

  405. vs said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:18

    “It’s been clear for some time that he’s largely disinterested in the office. Oh, he loves the perqs and benefits and attention, but he’s bored and annoyed with the responsibilities and burdens and obligations that go with the office.”

    I’ll be damned. I didn’t know George W. was still in office.

  406. smedley said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:19

    “VER”

    With the “E” obviously meant to be EWWWWWWWW.

  407. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:19

    I particularly like the admission that sure, he’s been wrong before in making these links that don’t exist, and to be perfectly honest more often than not, but this time is different! Except you know, this example is kind of made up, these apply even more to the last president than this one, but STILL.

    his idiocy is compounded in the comments where, upon being schooled on imperial presidency, he concedes each time but with a ‘yeah, but…it was different then…’ and my favorite, ‘sure, dicky cheney and dubya thought of those things, but they didn’t do them…theory good…action bad…

  408. vs said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:22

    ” You guys give me great material to plant the seeds of conservatism in his little head. Thanks for his future.”

    Hey, here’s a crazy idea: instead of worrying about making your son into a conservative, why don’t you work on shaping him into a decent human being. You know, treating people with a modicum of respect and trying to be kind and compassionate.

    Meh. I guess if this idiot did that, his kid couldn’t be conservative.

  409. Peter LaBarbera said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:30

    And then Hollywood, I talked about at our conference about this Glee kiss which is just, as I said at the conference, it shocked my soul. This romantic Glee kiss between two teenage boys depicted on the show, popular characters, one of the most popular if not the most popular TV show that young people watch, and here they had a romantic kiss between two teenage boys, I thought, what, how many young men and boys decided right there that they’re gay?

  410. Chris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:33

    “Behold! The stupidest thing ever written at least until the next stupidest thing ever written is written which will be at most a couple of days picoseconds if history is any judge.”

    Well, this is pretty stupid: Pajamas Media author has insight that the presidency isn’t the end of the road for Obama, that it’s just a stepping stone to becoming Supreme Ruler of the One World Government, which he will do in 2016 after he’s brought the U.S. down to the same level as the unwashed masses and created a world government.

    The comments section, as usual, has its gems. A person squeals “Rotschild bankers’ conspiracy!” and is called out by two conservatives as (what else?) a liberal plant (because no one who’s not a liberal trying to imitate a conservative could ever possibly find his way to a wingnut website and spout outdated prejudices). A little further down, a person squeals “Obama Soros one-world conspiracy!” and no one objects. Apparently, all they had to do is find the right Bad Rich Jew.

    It goes on with references to Frank Herbert’s Dune, Dinesh D’Souza’s “Roots of Obama’s Rage” thesis, and Richard Condon’s The Manchurian Candidate (an anti-McCarthyist book which the right nevertheless embraces with enthusiasm).

  411. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:33

    ” You guys give me great material to plant the seeds of conservatism in his little head. Thanks i fear for his future.”

    ’nuff said…

  412. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:35

    Let’s put twenty seconds on the clock and see how many jokes we can make about this video. Fat women are disgusting and hilarious, amirite? Um . . . Michelle Obama lol. Stupid unions.

    i forgot about this and was going to comment earlier…FUCK YOU SCOTT!!! and that is said with as much venom and fury as it would have been earlier…

  413. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:36

    One of my strengths as a whingnut blogger, I think, is my ability to draw connections where none are readily visible apophenia

    Fexted for reality’s sake.

  414. Chris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:36

    Hey, here’s a crazy idea: instead of worrying about making your son into a conservative, why don’t you work on shaping him into a decent human being. You know, treating people with a modicum of respect and trying to be kind and compassionate.

    Umm, because

    Meh. I guess if this idiot did that, his kid couldn’t be conservative.

    Ah, never mind.

  415. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:39

    Here’s a tip of the hat to Steerpike – I probably thought of America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ because I saw your comment last night.

  416. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 21:44

    Here’s a tip of the hat to Steerpike – I probably thought of America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ because I saw your comment last night.

    i refuse to go over there…what has he to say?

  417. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:01

    The most recent posts are just cuntpaste from Drudge et al. Perhaps he has learned not to say anything. Nawwww, couldn’t be.

  418. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:16

    Sweet blood of Jesus, is it at least Wednesday yet?

  419. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:19

    Per the telly (“any minute”) The Prez is about to hold a “Facebook Town Hall.” Almost tempted to look in, but I imagine the loons will be kept under control.

  420. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:34

    Per the telly (“any minute”) The Prez is about to hold a “Facebook Town Hall.” Almost tempted to look in, but I imagine the loons will be kept under control.

    i checked it out…the comments are amusing, frightening and disheartening all at the same time…

  421. bbkf said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:35

    also, inane…lots and lots of inanity…

  422. smut clyde said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:42

    my ability to draw connections where none are readily visible
    I take pills for that.

  423. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 22:53

    It was supposed to be a puppy…

  424. CRA said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:16

    “[On TV] they had a romantic kiss between two teenage boys, I thought, what, how many young men and boys decided right there that they’re gay?”

    I can sorta answer this! Some of the gay ones “decided” that. Some of the gay ones didn’t (on account of the show coming too late or too early for them). And NONE of the straight ones decided they were gay. That’s how many. Sorry I can’t be firmer on the gay numbers, but my straight number (0) is reliable.

    It must be stressful worrying about all the socio-cultural situations that could cause males to “decide” (realize) they’re gay. Basically, any experience involving other men. Whether you’re sitting in a foxhole or on a church pew, there they are! And I don’t have to remind anyone that keeping your boy around females won’t help matters. That makes them gay more surely than Glee. The only solution, obviously, is sensory deprivation. Only somebody already gay could get gayer in a situation like that, I suspect.

  425. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:22

    Don’t worry too much about these people planting the seeds of conservatism in these kids, because I was to the right of Reagan when I was a kid, a regular Jr. John Birch.

    I got better…

    Another example are the daughters of the local Baptist preacher, believe me they knew how to give unto others, if ya know what I mean.

  426. gocart mozart said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:28

    Great article about Stanley Ann Dunham. Includes cute photo of little Barry as a pirate. Was he born in Somalia?!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/24/magazine/mag-24Obama-t.html

  427. vacuumslayer said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:39

    You totally can’t turn a boy gay unless you paint his toenails pink.

  428. tigris said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:40

    I thought, what, how many young men and boys decided right there that they’re gay?

    As many as decided to have great big boners seeing two dudes kiss? Um, yeah, take a break and get back to us, Pete. Wash up first.

  429. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:43

    Maybe taking all the effeminate boys and putting them together will help them see the error of their ways.

  430. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:47

    Chris, those are some rotten mangoes. A glimpse into the wingnut mind which opens into another dimension of creeping horror and Lovecraftian madness. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    I hope I am eaten first.

  431. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:49

    You totally can’t turn a boy gay unless you paint his toenails pink.

    You can if you make him drink soy milk, remember?

    Or does that just feminize him?

  432. Whale Chowder said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:53

    Don’t worry too much about these people planting the seeds of conservatism in these kids, because I was to the right of Reagan when I was a kid, a regular Jr. John Birch.

    Yeah, and I was raised by (what would now be called left-leaning) Republicans in a small Navy town. Somehow I managed to absorb the stupidity of the Republican argument and come out the other side sane. Same goes for CCD for that matter.

    Which reminds me. Yesterday I saw a bumper-sticker that said “You can’t be both Catholic and Pro-choice.”

    And I said to myself, “Yup.”

  433. M. Bouffant said,

    April 20, 2011 at 23:57

    Maybe taking all the effeminate boys and putting them together will help them see the error of their ways.

    I was expecting a Catholic seminary. The camp sounds like an even better idea though. In America, where we’re free, we’ll have to do it through the private sector first, then the gov’t./church can take over.

  434. vacuumslayer said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:01

    Oh, speaking of pro-choice, I’ve been (mostly) lurking at LGM all afternoon. Some guy named Pastafarian has decided to weigh in with his opinions on infanticide. I’m sorry…abortion.

  435. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:01

    What would really shake things up is if we discovered a feral man-child, raised by penguins or something, and get this, he’s undeniably faggy.

    He’d never adapt to civilization, would get depressed and die, for which reason the story could be made into a movie exemplifying a certain cinematic trope about the gays.

  436. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:02

    A glimpse into the wingnut mind which opens into another dimension of creeping horror and Lovecraftian madness.

    The total lack of evidence is where it really gets convincing.

  437. vacuumslayer said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:02

    “You can if you make him drink soy milk, remember?”

    Oh geez. I vaguely remember something about that awhile back.

  438. vacuumslayer said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:04

    “He’d never adapt to civilization, would get depressed and die, for which reason the story could be made into a movie exemplifying a certain cinematic trope about the gays.”

    If it happens to one person THAT’S ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED.

  439. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:24

    Pastafarian was an idiot last year, vs.

    He’ll be an idiot next year, too.

    He shames the name he’s adopted.
    ~

  440. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:26

    “What would really shake things up is if we discovered a feral man-child, raised by penguins or something, and get this, he’s undeniably faggy.”

    You read my bio!

  441. vacuumslayer said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:28

    Pastafarian was an idiot last year, vs.

    He’ll be an idiot next year, too.

    He shames the name he’s adopted.

    Idiot…and nasty as can be. Seriously. He seems like a truly damaged human being.

  442. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 0:41

    “You read my bio!”

    I can’t help wondering if you cleaned up well.

  443. Pupienus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:08

    The Ho is on record saying I can not be taken out but also you can’t clean me up. He’s so mean to me.

  444. Whale Chowder said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:15

    I can not be taken out but also you can’t clean me up.

    So can we assume you’re posting from the shit-encrusted chair to which you are stuck?

  445. M. Bouffant said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:16

    Can live neither w/ or w/o ______.

    True love.

  446. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:21

    vacuumslayer said,
    “You can if you make him drink soy milk, remember?”
    Oh geez. I vaguely remember something about that awhile back.

    Here you go:
    Soy is making kids ‘gay’ [scare quotes in original - ed]
    Posted: December 12, 2006
    by Jim Rutz
    http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327
    “There’s a slow poison out there that’s severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it’s a “health food,” one of our most popular.

    Now, I’m a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it’s organic. I state my bias here just so you’ll know I’m not anti-health food.

    The dangerous food I’m speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they’re all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

  447. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:28

    The Ho is on record saying I can not be taken out but also you can’t clean me up.

    To be fair, old chum, you are a dirty, dirty boy.

  448. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:29

    If conservatives had their way (deregulation), they’d have no means (labeling) of discovering just how much soy went into their processed foods.

    You’d hafta wait until you or your kid got feminized before you could decide not to eat something or the other.

    If that’s not a dystopian scenario, I don’t know what is.

  449. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:32

    You know what else is kinda gay? Hummis. Also a bit muslimy.

  450. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:34

    If conservatives had their way (deregulation), they’d have no means (labeling) of discovering just how much soy went into their processed foods.

    Do you really think they eat any vegetable matter?

  451. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:37

    Stephanopoulos Tricks Bachmann Into Telling Birthers To ‘Move On’
    http://wonkette.com/443625/mean-stephanopoulos-tricks-bachmann-into-telling-birthers-to-move-on

    Woops! Time to move the goal posts “Crazy Eyes” Shelly.

  452. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:52

    One more from Wonkette because my NYT link no work anymore. (Seriously read the article in this Sunday’s NYT mag or find a link that works your damn self. It’s good)

    http://wonkette.com/443602/obama-is-actually-a-somali-pirate-child#more-443602

  453. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 1:53

    If conservatives had their way (deregulation), they’d have no means (labeling) of discovering just how much soy went into their processed foods.

    Do you really think they eat any vegetable matter?

    It never occurred to me until just now – the zombies munching down on GØPers will be eating vegetable brains.

  454. vs said,

    April 21, 2011 at 2:22

    Go-mo, bring on the Muslim and gay–i love that stuff!

    Btw, I think that article you cited is the EXACT one I read before.

  455. bobbyp said,

    April 21, 2011 at 2:24

    If conservatives had their way (deregulation), they’d have no means (labeling) of discovering just how much soy went into their processed foods.

    Yes. Obviously, they would demand the soy content be higher (Iowa) or lower (Texas), but their masters would not give a fuck.

  456. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 3:01

    Speaking of Tejas, was anyone else as amused as I that Rick “nice hair and we’re gonna maybe secede well we’re fix in to anyway and also you can’t make us take gubmint money” Perry has asked The Usurper in Chief to declare Tejas a distaster zone (far too late if you ask me) and SEND ME FEMA DOLLARS!!!!!!

  457. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 3:13

    I been cheapin out lately. Last night I used the remnants of Sundays perfectly roasted chicken to make some chicken enchiladas. I just used canned green enchilada sauce. Well yeah, I did mix the chix with finely diced onion, some ancho chili powder, Mexican oregano, cumin, garlic, queso fresco, queso blanco and asadero but the sauce just came from a can. While I was at it I made cheese enchiladas in a red sauce too. A green salad with avocado and lemon and rich olive oyl vinaigrette worked well. There may have been some margaritas in there somewhere – I don’t recall.

    Tonight I am taking the easy way out again. Turkey thighs, boned, little butter, s&p, sage in there then truss em up and rub with butter then roast. Quick savory bread pudding / dressing / stuffing thing and glazed herbed carrots.

    Hafta make brioche tomorrow.

  458. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 3:49

    “Go-mo, bring on the Muslim and gay–i love that stuff!”

    Your wish is my command. The Google found me this. Is spite ever a good business model?
    http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2010/08/post-34.html

  459. A lonely iIntellectually honest teabagger said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:18

    “Perry has asked The Usurper in Chief to declare Tejas a distaster zone”

    Goddam redistributor commie sellout! You are dead to me Perry.

  460. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:20

    Who kilt it, the thread?

  461. John Revolta said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:29

    gay? Hummis

    Have a care, sirrah. The Revoltas are ALL MAN. Even the Mrs.
    Wait, did that sound gay?
    muslimy

    Hey, if it scares you, just think of it as “smashed up chick peas”!

  462. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:37

    Second try at link
    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/24/magazine/mag-24Obama-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&hp

    If no work try LGM http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2011/04/shocking-new-evidence/comment-page-1#comment-112066

  463. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:40

    Hey, if it scares you, just think of it as “smashed up chick peas”!

    Still too girly-girly. Dude peas for me.

  464. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:41

    “Hey, if it scares you, just think of it as “smashed up chick peas”!

    Gays don’t like chicks, that’s the point but it doesn’t mean they want to smash them. Beating up chicks is a mostly hetero thing.

  465. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:43

    Contridiction, how does it work?

  466. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 21, 2011 at 4:52

    A = ~A

  467. John Revolta said,

    April 21, 2011 at 5:15

    Beating up chicks people is a mostly hetero thing.

    fixxd

  468. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 5:56

    Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 3:13

    I been cheapin out lately. [snip]

    When are you inviting us over… I’ll bring some damn good homebrew…

  469. Whale Chowder said,

    April 21, 2011 at 7:00

    chick peas

    I didn’t think teh homos were into teh watersports with icky girlz.

  470. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 7:12

    chick peas: veiled hetero water sports reference?

  471. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 21, 2011 at 10:17

    Good Lord. I knew there was something truly, awfully wrong with these people, but FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…..

    And Crowley got a bad rep for “Do what thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law.”

  472. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 13:32

    From Grex’s link,

    but the U.S. is seemingly the only place where right-wing elites can openly share their distaste for the working poor.

    Well, depends what you mean by “working poor.” Immigrants from the former colonies, Gypsies, and some kinds of East Europeans are a pretty big part of the underclass in Europe, and they’re completely fair game. Sarkozy’s “we’re going to rid you of this scum” comment? Not exactly a fringe view.

  473. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 13:38

    I liked the link, but it doesn’t explain why Ayn Rand is so much more popular here than she is in Europe. (I don’t know either).

  474. Andy McCarthy said,

    April 21, 2011 at 13:43

    Man, you SadlyNo! guys are some lazy SOBs.

    Unless there’s been a death in the family, there’s no excuse for three days without a post.

    If there’s been a death in the family, please tell me where to send flowers.

  475. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 13:45

    And finally, third consecutive Pajamas Media nativist thread. Apparently, John Cleese made a nostalgic statement that England no longer feels like what it did when he grew up. (PJTV funnily takes his statement that “it was an educated and middle-class culture. Now it’s a yob culture” as an endorsement of their own anti-education, anti-middle class ideology).

    As usual, the comments are where it’s at -

    America is basically a few “Whitopias” (ala “Searching for Whitopia” by journalist Richard Benjamin) surrounded by variants of Tijuana or Mexico City. LA went from near totally White to the second largest city of Mexicans after Mexico City. Yes, LA now has more Mexicans in its borders than any city except Mexico City. [Big Government reports that the US Border Patrol has been ordered not to arrest illegal aliens crossing the border, just to turn them back now.]

    America has ceased to be a nation, in any credible sense. Its a place on a map, that’s all.

    But they’re not racist. It’s all about values. The immigrants’ skin color and nation of origin has nothing at all to do with it.

    In 2005, Jonathan Last of the Weekly Standard had an exceptional portrait of England’s pre-World War II university elites, and how much they resemble America’s dissipated left today. Its subhead seems remarkably prescient these days: “Liberal elites ruined Britain as a hyperpower. Could America meet the same fate?”

    In a country founded on revolution against the British Empire, the self-described “patriots” and “Founding Father followers” actually shed tears for the British Empire and think it was a terrible “fate” that it wasn’t allowed to keep all the land it took by force. And that should tell you everything you need to know about the teabaggers.

    Enough mangoes for today. Bleargh.

  476. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 14:46

    Okay, so maybe I did kill the thread, but like Andy said, it’s about time to replace it anyway.

  477. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 21, 2011 at 15:45

    MURDERER!
    ~

  478. Thread Bear said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:18

    Maybe taking all the effeminate boys and putting them together will help them see the error of their ways.

    Silly conservatives. The answer is so obvious… You take all the effeminate boys and put them together with the bull dykes. Two birds with one stoning and Bob’s your uncle, or maybe your aunt.

  479. smedley said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:24

    Bob IS my uncle. What do I win?

  480. Willy said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:32

    Is it that the Right has a problem with feminism not because it emancipates women but because feminism must be the only reason why women won’t talk to/touch them?

    Sorry, just mumbling to myself…

  481. coldH2Owi said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:33

    I said it before & I’ll say it again – I need more. Please feel free to post away. Some of us are really depend on you & I know it’s no fun being an enabler to a depender, but, hell boys, do it anyway. Thank you very much.

  482. Thread Bear said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:38

    Enabling the depender.

  483. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:39

    It never occurred to me, but Bob’s my uncle too. It follows that “and there you have it” well-describes my predicament.

    Back to the notion of the ground-zero-mosque-adjacent “muslim gay bar.” Were it built, it could be patronized mostly by conservative male tourists; and what trip to the infamous NY muslim gay bar would be complete without a trip to the [bare-]back room?…

    And what about the souvenir t-shirts? “I went to the muslim gay bar and all I got was this AIDS from a Kansan pastor.”

  484. Whale Chowder said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:51

    Is it that the Right has a problem with feminism not because it emancipates women but because feminism must be the only reason why women won’t talk to/touch them?

    Yes……I MEAN NO!

    Really, they’re two sides of the same coin. Enabled women feel free to slap down creepy cobags like them; on the other hand, creepy cobags can say that the only reason women won’t touch them is because of leftist/feminist conditioning.

    Convenient, yes?

  485. smedley said,

    April 21, 2011 at 16:59

    “Enabled women feel free to slap down creepy cobags like them; on the other hand, creepy cobags can say that the only reason women won’t touch them is because of leftist/feminist conditioning…..”

    ….and Bob’s your uncle.

  486. Whale Chowder said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:05

    ….and Bob’s your uncle.

    Nuh uh! Mom only made me call him “Uncle Bob!” He was never over for Thanksgiving. He only came over at night to help mom move furniture.

  487. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:13

    Update.

    biting off testicles

  488. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:19

    She was granted bail.

    Heh, I read that as “ball.”

  489. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:23

    Back to the notion of the ground-zero-mosque-adjacent “muslim gay bar.” Were it built, it could be patronized mostly by conservative male tourists; and what trip to the infamous NY muslim gay bar would be complete without a trip to the [bare-]back room?…

    There’s two possible outcomes for the gay bar thing, if it’s put into practice. One, it becomes a hangout for conservative activists which the actual gay community of Manhattan avoids like the plague. Two, it becomes an actual gay bar: the members of the bar and the mosque get acquainted, and they do not, in fact, kill each other, but probably end up on more friendly than not terms.

  490. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:25

    on the other hand, creepy cobags can say that the only reason women won’t touch them is because of leftist/feminist conditioning.

    Sounds like an argument for leftist/feminist conditioning.

  491. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:26

    Weaponized teabagging.

  492. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:29

    “Enabled women feel free to slap down creepy cobags like them; on the other hand, creepy cobags can say that the only reason women won’t touch them is because of leftist/feminist conditioning…..”

    Something Awful just posted an installment of their sometimes-amusing “Weekend Web” series. This time, they visited “The Spearhead,” a forum for men who think like that ^

    http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/spearhead-forum-misandry.php

    “The female boyle [sic] must be lanced, or our species is doomed.”

  493. bbkf said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:32

    Back to the notion of the ground-zero-mosque-adjacent “muslim gay bar.” Were it built, it could be patronized mostly by conservative male tourists; and what trip to the infamous NY muslim gay bar would be complete without a trip to the [bare-]back room?…

    And what about the souvenir t-shirts? “I went to the muslim gay bar and all I got was this AIDS from a Kansan pastor.”

    the t-shirt made me laff aloud…and again, i find my mind boggled by the premise of the whole gay muslim bar thing…is gutfed not aware that gays are despised by conservatives as well as by muslims? and all the goobs who chortle at the humor of it? really?

    that these are the people who follow rand (whom the upthread link confirmed had no soul) and that they are actually in charge of things, really, really frightens me…

    now that i think of it,

  494. bbkf said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:33

    now that i think of it,

    i should really, really learn how to proofread before clicking ‘submit comment’…

  495. smedley said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:35

    Resolved: Josef Stalin was the greatest Objectivist of all. Discuss.

  496. matlock said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:37

    i believe television will cofirm that i am the greatest objectivist of all..

  497. Willy said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:43

    At CRA’s link, it seems S,N! denizen Another Kiwi has been in the mix, so to say. [AK's comment is at the bottom. It's an image.]

    Our antipodean outed as a Spearheader?

  498. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:47

    I simply must get to work here, but–

    NY could support a whole block of muslim-themed gay bars. Here are some conceptual germs; entrepreneurs, you’re welcome.

    “Akbar of New York’s” tips its fez to Lawrence of Arabia. Admission granted to white men dressed as arabs. I lack the knowledge to riff any further on this one.

    “The Oil Club” would not admit muslims as guests. On the bandstand, however, you’d experience the impossibly urbane Sheikh Al-Ingtun and his orchestra playing their “desert music.” The Sheikh: “The kidth in the band want you to know that we love you mahdi-ly.”

  499. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:50

    and again, i find my mind boggled by the premise of the whole gay muslim bar thing…is gutfed not aware that gays are despised by conservatives as well as by muslims? and all the goobs who chortle at the humor of it? really?

    I think they’re operating on the basic premise that gays and Muslims are as shallow as they are, ruled by the tribal impulse to hate each other and not much else. Which isn’t surprising, since neither gays nor Muslims tend to gravitate to the GOP unless they’re bigots as well.

  500. jim said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:54

    Wow, you go away for one measly day, & … &, uhh … poop.

    Dear Michigan: Congratulations on your bouncing baby junta!

    Welcome to Shock & Awe™ – the home game version.

  501. matlock said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:56

    since neither gays nor Muslims tend to gravitate to the GOP unless they’re bigots as well.sado-masochists

  502. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:58

    “The female boyle [sic] must be lanced, or our species is doomed.”

    I’d lance Lara Flynn Boyle, even if the species were not in jeopardy.

  503. matlock said,

    April 21, 2011 at 17:59

    the excellent Rachel Maddows

    there’s more than one of her!?! oh, goody!!!

  504. matlock said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:00

    I’d lance Lara Flynn Boyle, even if the species were not in jeopardy.

    or susan boyle?

  505. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:00

    At CRA’s link, it seems S,N! denizen Another Kiwi has been in the mix, so to say. [AK's comment is at the bottom. It's an image.]

    Our antipodean outed as a Spearheader?

    Nah, that’s gotta be another Another Kiwi.

  506. bbkf said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:10

    Nah, that’s gotta be another Another Kiwi.

    good god, i hope so! that is one frightening site…

  507. Pupienus Maximus said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:12

    They call themselves “spearhead”? Oh my, oh my my my. Do they consciously think of themselves as dickheads or is it Freudian?

  508. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:12

    There’s two possible outcomes for the gay bar thing, if it’s put into practice.

    Most likely is that when any conservative says “I am totally totally going to do this, I’m not lying, really I promise” is that he’s lying and isn’t going to do shit.

    “The female boyle [sic] must be lanced, or our species is doomed.”

    Budding was a good enough reproductive method for his old Dad, and it’s good enough for him.

    “Akbar of New York’s” tips its fez to Lawrence of Arabia. Admission granted to white men dressed as arabs. I lack the knowledge to riff any further on this one.

    There would be beatings.

  509. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:13

    Nah, that’s gotta be another Another Kiwi.

    We can all offer to show him our breasts and see if he declines.

  510. mr. slave said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:14

    There would be beatings

    jeeethuth chritht!

  511. bbkf said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:15

    We can all offer to show him our breasts and see if he declines.

    you go first…no wait, maybe i will…it’s chilly here today which always creates a false perkiness…

  512. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:30

    Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    I’d lance Lara Flynn Boyle, even if the species were not in jeopardy.

    Really?

    I hope some of those pics are photoshopped, otherwise OMFGWTF!

  513. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 18:34

    Really?

    I hope some of those pics are photoshopped, otherwise OMFGWTF!

    I had no idea… it’s appalling how hard unrealistic “beauty standards can hit people. Between the anorexia and the excessive “aesthetic electives”, she’s been nuked by the Beauty Industrial Complex.

  514. smedley said,

    April 21, 2011 at 19:04

    “Really?”

    Page is blocked with the notation “Tasteless.” Now I must see it!

  515. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 19:23

    It’s less tasteless than heartbreaking.

  516. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 21, 2011 at 19:26

    Yikes. Starving is what our Republican overlords (and yes I include Obama in that description, why do you ask?) want for us.

    Not what we should do to ourselves.
    ~

  517. Whale Chowder said,

    April 21, 2011 at 19:39

    It’s less tasteless than heartbreaking.

    Not to call out B^4 because I’m guilty too, but “I’d lance Lara Flynn Boyle” kind of reflects the dilemma the aging starlet faces. When the your livelihood depends on your “fuckability” then you might feel a lot of pressure to take extreme steps to keep the merry-go-round going.

    Putting on my pop psychologist hat for a moment, I suspect that in Ms. Boyle’s case there’s also some sort of addictive issue working here. That said, it’s pretty easy to see how she got pushed along that road.

  518. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 19:50

    Not to call out B^4 because I’m guilty too, but “I’d lance Lara Flynn Boyle” kind of reflects the dilemma the aging starlet faces. When the your livelihood depends on your “fuckability” then you might feel a lot of pressure to take extreme steps to keep the merry-go-round going.

    I think the problem is that the “aesthetics” pushed by the Beauty Industrial Complex are unrelated to real world desires (I tend to be attracted to “generously proportioned” women, myself), but by pharmaceutical companies and purveyors of elective surgery.

    Looking at the recent pictures of LFB evoke pity and horror, not lust.

  519. Steerpike said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:13

    This thread has been limping along for almost 4 days now, and yet there are still only about 500 comments. Obivously, our Sadly NOverlords feel we are not worthy of any new offerings until we finish what’s on our plate.

  520. Pupienus Maximus, a dirty, dirty boy said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:17

    Yo, AK! Wanna see my tits?

  521. Steerpike said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:21

    No one wants to see your moobs, Dad.

  522. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:25

    It sure seems like alot of republican governors have over-the-top-stupid names. Fife Symington (formerly of AZ). Orval Faubus.

    And now Butch Otter is up to no good in Idaho:
    http://thinkprogress.org/2011/04/21/butch-otter-ends-medicaid/

    Reince Priebus will no doubt become a governor some day. I like how his name includes both orderings of “i” and “e” (and I understand the oft-cited rule is irrelevant in his case).

  523. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:28

    Oops, I forgot that Orval Faubus was a democrat. If any wingnuts happen by while I am at lunch, they should remember the context of his affiliation.

  524. Jonah Loadpants said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:30

    A reader sent me this quote of Hitler after signing the Reichskonkordat.

    I have been attacked because of my handling of the Jewish question. The Catholic Church considered the Jews pestilent for fifteen hundred years, put them in ghettos, etc., because it recognized the Jews for what they were. In the epoch of liberalism the danger was no longer recognized. I am moving back toward the time in which a fifteen-hundred-year-long tradition was implemented.

    This is central to my point.

  525. smedley said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:34

    “Orval Faubus was a democrat”

    You would have been fine if your original statement had been “It sure seems like alot of asshole governors…”

    You’re welcome.

  526. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 21, 2011 at 20:44

    Yikes. Starving is what our Republican overlords (and yes I include Obama in that description, why do you ask?) want for us.

    The fact is, do you think Barry is going to take away our guns and put us in FEMA camps before he starves us or after we’re already dead? What are your thoughts on Shania law?

  527. tigris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:02

    I bet Gary’s boobs are HUGE.

  528. Fake Gary Ruppert #38 said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:05

    I call fake Gary.

  529. N__B said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:09

    I leave town and the Sadlies stop publishing? I can’t handle this kind of pressure.

  530. M. Bouffant said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:11

    Publishing is theft.

  531. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:13

    I call fake Gary.

    There is no real Gary. Gary Ruppert is a creation of George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic company- the original Gary was operated by three “little people” and a team of puppeteers.

  532. Chris said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:18

    The fact is, do you think Barry is going to take away our guns and put us in FEMA camps before he starves us or after we’re already dead? What are your thoughts on Shania law?

    Good Lord, Gary, such cruel slander against someone named “Barry.” You must work for LBJ’s campaign!

  533. Steerpike said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:36

    In your guts, you know he’s nuts…

  534. CRA said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:43

    “It sure seems like alot of asshole governors…”

    That’s all I learned from listening to Mingus’ “Fables of Faubus” a thousand times, apparently.

  535. g said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:44

    Maybe they should let Gary write a post. It would at least be fresh.

  536. El Manquécito said,

    April 21, 2011 at 21:46

    Whew, go away for a while and nothing happens. Catered a Acadian dinner party last night, oyster stuffed zucchini w/shrimp cream sauce, full on jambalaya (smoked sausage, shrimp, oysters, all the veggies), czar salad, fresh bread, custard tart w/fresh strawberries. And I had to play music for two hours with the clients’ kids after (it’s a new variant of “My girlfriend, she sings.” my kids, aieeee!). Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the thread still lives.

  537. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:03

    …czar salad…

    El Manquécito is Obama’s secret Salad Czar!!! OMG, commies! Run!!!eleven

  538. The thread said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:05

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the thread still lives.

    If you call this living…

  539. Steerpike said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:06

    Night of the living Thread

  540. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:08

    What this thread needs is some fresh mangoes.
    http://www.freshmangos.com/mangos.html

  541. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:16

    I think teh Editors went to see the Atlas Shrugged movie for some serious snarkliciousness, were convinced by Rand’s message, and went Galt on our asses.

  542. Pupienus Maximus, a dirty, dirty boy said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:19

    What this thread needs is MOAR PENIS

  543. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:22

    Possible discussion topic: as I posted earlier at my place, turns out the teabaggers really like their free rascal scooters. Also, Paul Ryan got booed in his own district for opposing tax hikes on the rich.

    Signs of possible sanity in the world, or merely the eye of the shitstorm of crazy?

  544. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:25

    Oh, and most important of all — a free Laurelwood Brewing tasting starts in an hour across the street. I should probably get some work done before then…

  545. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:28

    Oh, and most important of all — a free Laurelwood Brewing tasting starts in an hour across the street. I should probably get some work done before then…

    Forget the looters and parasites at work, and go Malt.

  546. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:33

    What has John Galt been up to? Whocouldathunk!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/05/nyregion/05deutsche.html?_r=2
    The three men, and the demolition contractor for which two of them worked, the John Galt Corporation, are charged with manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide.

    The evidence, Mr. Fields said, will also establish “that these defendants knew the building was a death trap.”

  547. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:33

    Forget the looters and parasites at work, and go Malt.

    LOL, glorious! Who is John Malt?!?

  548. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:33

    Trouble in Paradise, or Beck “ratfucking” on behalf of co-religionist?

  549. Spearhafoc, who insists that bowties are cool said,

    April 21, 2011 at 22:47

    I am posting a comment on a Sadly, No! thread.

  550. cAnceR haT said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:05

    DrDick said,

    April 17, 2011 at 17:33

    What do you have against dildoes? This is a totally unfair comparison.

    Re-read the post. It calls it an artificial dildo. The Consortium of Dildo Manufacturers are up in arms about the market being flooded these cheap and potentially dangerous inferior products.

  551. vacuumslayer said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:07

    Spearhafoc, I agree that bowties can be cool…provided they are on the right endearingly snarky nerdy guy.

  552. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:14

    The Consortium of Dildo Manufacturers are up in arms about the market being flooded these cheap and potentially dangerous inferior products.

    They’re also up-in-arms about misuse of their products.

  553. g said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:20

    Well, traffic usually sucks in LA, but today it’s this guy’s fault.

  554. gocart mozart said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:23

    “This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a Progressive, which he has said is the same as a “cancer” and a “Nazi.” What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews?”

    At least he didn’t call the Huckster a conservative which is the same thing as a dildo and painful rectal itch.

  555. Smut Clyde said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:30

    Huckabee: “But he ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.”

    Ooo-err.

  556. Steerpike said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:36

    “cleaning one’s gun”

  557. The Internet Jerk said,

    April 21, 2011 at 23:41

    posting in a THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  558. gocart mozart said,

    April 22, 2011 at 0:01

    What a jerky thing to do

  559. Spearhafoc, who just bought a cool black skinny tie said,

    April 22, 2011 at 0:03

    Thanks Jerk. Now I can spin the page around in circles with my scroll-button thingy.

    Weeee!

  560. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 0:28

    I probably shouldn’t have done that so soon after eating.

  561. coldH2Owi said,

    April 22, 2011 at 0:53

    Look, I am 62 years old & goddamnit post before I likely croak, get constipated, or or or something, I forgot.

  562. Anonymous said,

    April 22, 2011 at 1:31

    Do you think Fox News will be calling him Sen. John Ensign (D-NY) now?

  563. tigris said,

    April 22, 2011 at 1:41

    Ensign’s admission that he cheated on his wife seemingly foreshadowed his political downfall. Amid the scandal, his parents provided the Hamptons with $96,000 described as a gift, and Ensign helped find Doug Hampton a lobbying job.

    Bringing your parents in to bribe your lover’s spouse! I guess conservatives really are all about family values!

  564. Pupienus Maximus, a dirty, dirty boy said,

    April 22, 2011 at 1:41

    *chortling*
    http://i.imgur.com/ICHCO.jpg

  565. M. Bouffant said,

    April 22, 2011 at 2:42

    Praise Jah for Self Check-Out.

  566. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:09

    Fast ! Easy! Fun!

  567. Gordon, The Big Express Engine said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:14

    Um. I’m here for the gang bang.

  568. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:14

    Librarians versus ZOMBIES pdf

  569. Pupienus Maximus, a dirty, dirty boy said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:15

    I got a pork butt in the fridge and I’m not feeling very ambitious. I’m thinking I’ll sautE some onions garlic and a jalapeño or three in the pressure cooker. Squeeze a couple limes and an orange (I went wild on blood oranges, need tomuse ‘em up) and probably just toss the rinds in as well. Cumin, allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon whatever else looks interesting from the spice cabinet. Some chicken stock. Oh, I prolly oughta brown the pr0k first. Add some chix stock and seal. Pull it in large shreds, reduce the liquid and serve it all over rice and black beans. I’ll have The Ho put together a composed salad.

    Laurelwood Hooligan Brown Ale, which was just recently made available in bottles.

  570. low sodium hunchback said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:17

    Bend over.

  571. jim said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:39

    DO WANT

  572. Lurking Canadian said,

    April 22, 2011 at 3:40

    The evidence, Mr. Fields said, will also establish “that these defendants knew the building was a death trap.”

    I hope they don’t let the defendants make a closing statement, because it could go on for hours.

  573. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:03

    So, when is Trump going to release the Whitey Tape?

  574. Mom said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:14

    jim? you be careful! you could put an eye out with that thing!

  575. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:30

    Laurelwood Hooligan Brown Ale, which was just recently made available in bottles.

    I just had one of these 22ozers last night, and also tried a taste of it again at the free tasting today. It’s a very nice beer, it’s just not brown ale. Their website calls it a “Southern English Brown” but they’re full of shit. Not nearly enough malt for a Southern English brown. It could, if you were feeling very generous, fit into the Northern English category, but that’s still stretching it a bit. It’s more like an American Brown, but most like an Amber. Then again, almost every beer fits into the amber category, it’s so damn broad.

    Still a good beer, just not what they’re calling it.

    Sorry, brown ales are a bit of a specialty of mine so it pisses me off when people try to pass off non-brown ales as something they aren’t…

    On a positive note, their limited edition Workhorse double IPA is quite nice, and is almost too drinkable as a 10%abv beer. Almost.

  576. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:33

    Boring.

    Tell me when they invent a gun that shoots guns that shoot guns that shoot guns that shoot…etc.

    Then maybe I’ll care.

  577. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:36

    I carved a notch into the tip so that it can accept the rubber, like this.
    ~

  578. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:37

    Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:33

    Boring.

    Brown ales are not boring, they’re subtle. Sheesh.

    But, LASERS!!!!one! It’s only a matter of time before they’re installed in sharks.

  579. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:37

    Also, Wonder Woman should have her own cartoon show.

    Superman’s had a couple and Batman’s had zillions. I say give Wonder Woman a chance.

  580. the old rusted-out camper™³²®© said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:37

    Don’t try this at home.
    ~

  581. Pupienus Maximus, a dirty, dirty boy said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:40

    OBS goes all beer snob on us. I was beginning to wonder if you had sampled a bit more at the Laurelwood tasting than was maybe good for ya. Yah, I don’t know a whole lot about authenticity and shit, but just as in cooking I think what tastes good and what you like is more important than authenticity. Not to excuse them for not labelig properly mind you, I just don’t give a shit.

    There’s this hop fanaticism in the PNW that’s become dogma. I _like_ hops. I _like_ dry hopped brews. But the conventional wisdom is “more is better” just like “hotter is better” with the Sriacha fans. Puh fucking leaze, heat isn’t everything – flavor and more importantly balance is more important to me.

    I’m not contradicting you, my friend, I’m just talking.

  582. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:50

    OBS goes all beer snob on us.

    What, me a beer snob? No way!

    There’s this hop fanaticism in the PNW that’s become dogma. I _like_ hops. I _like_ dry hopped brews. But the conventional wisdom is “more is better” just like “hotter is better” with the Sriacha fans. Puh fucking leaze, heat isn’t everything – flavor and more importantly balance is more important to me.

    I’m not contradicting you, my friend, I’m just talking.

    I agree wholeheartedly about the overabundance of hops in current PNW beers — that’s a big problem with the Hooligan brown. Even though it’s not a hoppy beer by NW standards, it’s way too hoppy for the style they claim it is. They could have called it lots of things, but they called it a Southern English Brown, which is just complete crap.

    Like I said, it’s a tasty beer, just call it something else!

    We should do a show — you could do the irreverent/profane recipes, and I could provide insulting commentary on the proper beer(s) to drink with them…

  583. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 22, 2011 at 4:51

    For reference.

  584. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    April 22, 2011 at 6:22

    jim? you be careful! you could put an eye out with that thing!

    Holy fuck! You could put an eye out of the Statue of Liberty with that thing.

  585. M. Bouffant said,

    April 22, 2011 at 6:51

    So limp from boredom that I will ask: Has anyone else not seen the picture of Mr.Kimball for the last couple of days?

  586. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 22, 2011 at 6:59

    It exists for me. Adblock troubles?

  587. M. Bouffant said,

    April 22, 2011 at 7:05

    Nope, none of that stuff. The pic doesn’t show when opened in a new tab either. Picture in previous post here is half gray. Both phenoms have been on-going even w/ turning the ol’ box off completely every night (or when ever).

    Probably Time-Weasel Cable’s fault.

  588. Whale Chowder said,

    April 22, 2011 at 7:24

    Has anyone else not seen the picture of Mr.Kimball for the last couple of days?

    Sadly for me, he’s been right there at the top of the page, looking just like “Uncle Bob” from my yoot…right down to the dildo.

  589. jgmurphy said,

    April 22, 2011 at 9:04

    Damn, three years in office…..this is just about the SLOWEST, pokiest, Islamofascist-terrorist-jihadist that ever was! When are the burkas gonna be mass distributed along with the Halal eating guides? Barry sure is takin his time…….

    Any rationale from the babbling monocell peons on Faux News on what’s taking the Muslim coup so long?

  590. Hogeye Grex said,

    April 22, 2011 at 9:04

    MB, have you tried clearing your cache?

  591. M. Bouffant said,

    April 22, 2011 at 10:21

    Any rationale from the babbling monocell peons on Faux News on what’s taking the Muslim coup so long?

    Good damn question. I was just reading more crap about Atlas Sucked: The Flick, & some cretin was going on about how it was such a bold warning of the impending socialist take-over, yada, w/o really noting that the effing book was published almost 55 yrs. ago. Or that “communism” had collapsed in the interim.

    And thanks to Hogeye G., whose diagnosis was spot on.

  592. S. cerevisiae said,

    April 22, 2011 at 11:55

    BEER FIGHT!!!!

    j/k you guys. OBS, you didn’t tell me that the freebies last until 7:00, I was able to get my share after I got back from my field trip at 6:30. My favorite was their organic Red. I’ll buy you a beer, but I have to be out of town for a couple of weeks so it will have to wait until the second week in May.

  593. smedley said,

    April 22, 2011 at 13:03

    I cleared out my cache last night and slept like a baby.

  594. Chris said,

    April 22, 2011 at 13:40

    Good damn question. I was just reading more crap about Atlas Sucked: The Flick, & some cretin was going on about how it was such a bold warning of the impending socialist take-over, yada, w/o really noting that the effing book was published almost 55 yrs. ago. Or that “communism” had collapsed in the interim.

    Remember what Ronald Reagan said when Medicare was passed?

    one of these days you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children, and our children’s children, what it once was like in America when men were free

    Well, Medicare’s been around for close to fifty years, and Republicans are still telling us what a free and wonderful country America is. I realize GOP voters have the attention span of a goldfish, but doesn’t any of them ever wake up and think, “wait, why aren’t all those horrible things that were supposed to happen to me happening to me?”

  595. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 14:56

    Well, I know that Canada’s healthcare has left us as a post-apocalyptic nightmare world where the sick and elderly are either sent out on ice floes or ground up into food.

    So there’s that.

  596. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 15:07

    Kraft Dinner is People!

  597. M. Bouffant said,

    April 22, 2011 at 20:23

    Jiminy christ, you slobs couldn’t make it to 600?

  598. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 22:05

    Yes

  599. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 22:06

    We

  600. Spearhafoc, who thinks that all men should wear suits when they go out in public said,

    April 22, 2011 at 22:06

    Can!

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  602. http://www.Mediafire.com said,

    May 20, 2013 at 5:55

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