Staffing the Bangalore office.

Cuddling the melon.

Dead already.
Needz new thread.

“Cuddling the melon.”

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

What a fruit!

low sodium hunchback said,
April 2, 2011 at 16:18 · Edit

Dead already.
Needz new thread.

Then, er, start your own frigging thread, k? 😉

My first direct bashing by Tintin. I will treasure it always.

Alas that Log Cabin cannot put forward a conservative position on gay issues

I gather there are other conservatives already doing that.

…and if I were really gay…

What? Just because he’s filled with cartoonishly visceral loathing for anyone who’s not straight?

From the melon cuddler:

“Alas that Log Cabin cannot put forward a conservative position on gay issues and still feels instead it just has to join the gay groups in looking for solutions to the perceived problems in our community.”

Um, Log Cabin is joining the “gay groups?”

A little help here, please. I was under the assumption that The Log Cabin Club is in fact, a “gay group.” Am I mistaken here?

Word of the day: “Collaborationist.”

Word of the day: “Kapo.”

Word of the day: “Kapo.”

Better.

Thank you.

The Log Cabin Club is in fact, a “gay group.” Am I mistaken here?

How would I know?!!!!
What are you suggesting?!!!!

I thought the conservative position on gay issues had already been assumed and involve a wide stance.

Widening the stance, the position already assumed.

So participating in your own oppression is WINNING?

By allowing himself and others to be discriminated against, Dan is striking a blow against tyranny.

Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.

By allowing himself and others to be discriminated against, Dan is striking a blow against tyranny.

Isn’t that, like, shorter every single Republican voter making less than $1,000,000,000,000 a year?

Brilliant thread title, Tintin. You must have been reading TBogg’s sci-fi thread. Philip K Dick (heh) would be proud.

Allow me to explain from Dan’s perspective.

“gay groups” are comprised solely of socialesteliteliberal A-listers who have good jobs and boyfriends and never pay any attention to me they just ignore me I hate them all…”

As GØProud is comprised of Republicans they can’t possibly be gay.

Oops

can’t possibly be gay because gays hate everything and anyone Republican and Republicans don’t act all gay by demanding equal rights and shit.

I would like to thank the management at Sadly, No! for this delightful new thread, and have called the Bangalore office to offer well deserved kudos. They assured me they’d pass on the message.

Calling Bangalore, also too.

…and I shall call them” Stockholmos…”

Staffing the Bangalore office.

where do I submit a resume?

Yes, Dan that’s right. A Clown nose, two wet-suits and a ______________.

Everybody agreed it was really tragic, once they stopped giggling.

…and I shall call them” Stockholmos…”

nice. You should start your own blog.

A third one! But only if I can get a zombie to fill in once in awhile.

Yes, Dan that’s right. A Clown nose, two wet-suits and a J. Bieber Bathtime Bubble Buddy.

So tragic!

But only if I can get a zombie to fill in once in awhile.

I have often wished I had a blog of my own.

You should get one of your own! I’m too shellfish to share.

Aren’t these some lovely flowers?

Hungover again?!?!

This “improv” doesn’t happen by magic people!!

Microfisk* of a paragraph :

I agree that private employers should not discriminate against gay people, but it is not the government’s business to tell them as much.

“Yes, citizen, certainly you can have all your delicious nutritious human rights … riiiiiiiight after you tell us who you like to plook.”

Yes, indeed, Americans know that advancing employees by merit is what “wins” for business.

No, most Americans know by now (be it ever so dimly) that as a prime engine of quick & easy profits (“wins”) for business, merit has long taken a back seat to Mafioso-Lite™ mercantile cupidity & bajillions of atomized insecure consumers who’ve been conditioned like lab-rats to tolerate same, but thanks for playing, Dan.

Once again, government shouldn’t be telling entrepreneurs how to run their enterprises.

PUTRID FOOD, FUCK YEAH!!!
__________________________________________________-
* Because (a) the rest of this bowl won’t smoke itself & (b) this person’s writing actually truly makes my eyes sting … his content’s bad enough that the “Grade 4 Was So Rad That I Took It Eleven Times” editing amounts to comic relief.

Plainly K-Lo & Blatt were both mentored by the same mysterious Svengali of poutrage, determined to have his homely brainwashed minions drive a Punji-stake through the English language’s PENIS.

Which GayPutzRiot penned the dozen unsold screenplays, Danny or Brucie?

You guys laugh, but you have no idea how much play this gets him with closeted gay conservatives. And that’s a lot of conservatives!

I still laugh, vs.

closeted gay conservatives = LAMESTREAM MEDIA BLOOD LIBEL

And that’s a lot of conservatives!

You doth say?

A helpful aid for times of excess drama.

A helpful aid for times of excess drama.

I need to get a tattoo of that where I can see it at all times.

I need to get a tattoo of that where I can see it at all times.

Screen saver at work.

“I need to get a tattoo of that where I can see it at all times.”.

Paste it into a goatse.

Goatse, goatdo.

goatseri
goatsera
goatseri
goatsera hahahahahahahaha

f
y
w
p

Pasting the goatse.

Eeeew. With that I’m off to the marmer’s farket.

Nutrtion Naxi!!!

Ugh, I’ve only had one cuppa kawffee, but I felt I should take a swim. And I got something in the comments:

Do they have reverse ENDA for heterosexuals where social liberal cronyism runs rampant within the public and private sectors? I love the hypocrisy of homosexuals/bisexuals when they address merit within the workplace.

Goodness yes, the vast HOMOSEXUAL CONSPIRACY is keeping our American heterosexuals down!!

Stockhomos is great! Why can’t I be so fucking witty?

I never could grasp the ‘Log Cabin Republican’ concept, and my friend who was one didn’t offer any clarity, either. He has since gotten honest and left the fold. Still conservative, just more sensible now. Knowledge- the cure for ignorance. Suicide- the cure for idiocy.

‘Log Cabin Republican’ concept

Greed, & “economic liberty.”

You don’t think all those fabulous gowns sew themselves, do you? There are workers to exploit! Oh sorry, per B.D. in comment 12: “Both types of laws deprive entrepreneurs from establishing their employment policies.”

What is it with this guy? Is his whole shtick just some bizarre form of political masochism?

Do they have reverse ENDA for heterosexuals

Yes. Well, only in those 29 states where one can get fired forbeing gay.

I should have said “still get fired…

Prodding the cattle. Also.

Pups, discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation is expressly forbidden in our Constitution. This is a Good.

OTOH, our President’s three wives were upset when he took his fiance on a state visit to China, so maybe emigration is not such a great idea. We may have some way to go, equality-wise.

Forwarding the conservative position.

Also, Bieber’s Bubbling Bathtime Bloodsausage Bipolar Buddy

You may return to your scheduled breakdown.

Biting the wax tadpole

Yeah, SA took us all by surprise with that. Fuck, can I talk about apartheid in the YooEssAiieeyee now?

I do not like Slipknot’s scary masks…still they did improve that song a little.

Biting the wax tadpole

Seeing what you did there.

Do they have reverse ENDA for heterosexuals where social liberal cronyism runs rampant within the public and private sectors? I love the hypocrisy of homosexuals/bisexuals when they address merit within the workplace.

Someone’s a little upset that they got turned down for that fluffer gig.

Sorry, buddy. It was merit based. Someone as ugly as you just scares the wood down.

Also, “reverse ENDA.” Hehhehheh

Dan Blatt is dating a watermelon, and he’s still the bottom.

Slipknot’s scary masks, Justsatan Bieber’s very existance.

The scales of judgement weigh heavy upon a crown of gold, possibly resulting in neck strain and a need for therapy so as not to, as it were, tweak the main nerve channel, and also possibly resulting in activist judgement.

What the fuck was I saying…

Oh yes, someone please drop a 5 ton weight on Justsayno. Please? Now?

He ain’t heavy, he’s my watermelon.

WWIII,

Win. Absolutely. Please pass the Everclear, now.

Not to drink, to pour into my ear in hopes of making that sentence never have existed.

OMG, I’m trying to finish up a project for a client and my Mac is giving me Spinny Ball of Death. BRB…gonna chuck my computer out tha’ window.

WWIII
Win.

BRB…gonna chuck my computer out tha’ window.

Now see the Oppression Inhere-mrrmlrrmrfrrh, whomp!

WWIII

Win.

No one can win WWIII.

No one can win WWIII.

No. But a lot of people will die trying.

No one can win WWIII.

No. But a lot of people will die trying.

Too soon!

Bummer.

completely o/t, im watching the first basketball game of my life, VCU vrs someone (friend of a friend is a supporter). Its weird, so much going on, the crowd, endless scoring…… im losing my concentration and becoming my inner 15 year old!

anyways, Go Rams!??!!

Uh oh. The boss is gonna be really pissed at me now.

Its weird, so much going on, the crowd, endless scoring

You’re watching at the Playboy mansion?

Its weird, so much going on, the crowd, endless scoring

You’re watching at the Playboy mansion?

I feel like mentioning Charlie Sheen is appropriate.

Mentioning Charlie Sheen is never not appropriate.

As this is alleged to be a humor site:

(Reuters) – The world’s oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

POOP is timeless.

Snofru, NO!

POOP is timeless.

Europe endless.

With a few notable exceptions. Refrain.

Transocean

(Stolen from Eschaton thread. Nyah nyah.)

“The world’s oldest recorded joke”

What is with the flood (okay, 2 that I can recall but hyperbole is fun) of old links here? You guys time warping or what?

hyperbole is fun

I am planning on emulating Michael Jackson: I will sleep in a hyperbolic chamber.

You guys time warping or what?

The Internet is a random place. If’n I ain’t seen it before, it’s new. Your calendars are meaningless human constructs, & the dates on this stupid Internet are too small to bother w/ anyway.

Also, none of my Facebook friends had recommended it, so I thought I was first. Sorry.

Can I go now?

While we’re talking about stuff that’s “new to me”, check this out if you haven’t: not poop.

As GØProud is comprised of Republicans they can’t possibly be gay proud.

Fixx0red for great justice.

Transocean

see?!?!? dan blaaaaat is right! advancing those oil company employees by merit certainly was a big ‘win!’

So participating in your own oppression is WINNING?

You cannot lose if you throw the race.

Notwithstanding the tragic loss of life in the Gulf of Mexico, we achieved an exemplary statistical safety record as measured by our total recordable incident rate and total potential severity rate

That ranks up there with Marion Barry’s “Except for the killings, Washington D.C. has a very low crime rate.”

Although in 2010 we made significant progress in achieving our strategic and operational objectives for the year

1. Kill the planet
2 ??????
3. PROFIT!!!!

Unfortunately items 1 and 3 are shaping up to be true.

1. Kill the planet
2 ??????
3. PROFIT!!!!

It’s like you were reading their mission statement.

If banksters can get giant bonuses for blowing up the economy, why shouldn’t oilers also get giant bonuses for poisoning the Gulf.

Only seems fair!

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Nine of the 11 people killed in the April 20, 2010, explosion on the BP-leased Deepwater Horizon platform were Transocean employees. Seventeen other people were wounded.

Jesus Christ, what were their other years like?

Also and too, I couldn’t help notice that the riggers apparently didn’t get to either judge the success of Transocean’s year or participate in the stock plan.

Looks like I’m the wittiest guy on here right now.

My nefarious plan is WORKING!

My nefarious plan is WORKING!

PROFIT!!!

Dan’s in for an unpleasant surprise when he learns that the watermelon is dumping him.

Speaking of banksters, why does this not surprise me even an itty bitty bit?

And there’s still nobody in jail for any of this shit.

One would suspect that the only freedoms republicans respect are the ones that permit them to be recalcitrant, duplicitous, cheaters, and mendacious, manipulative, bigoted and controlling assholes. Without these precious protections business would lose the right to sell consumers unsafe junk, express its prejudices, win at anything, sell anything, pollute the environment, compete fairly, give others space to be themselves, back stab others, gain knowledge from scientific discoveries, and exploit whoever, whenever, and wherever they can. The loss of the rights to act criminally, behave unethically, communicate deceitfully, and act on their prejudices would leave them feeling abandoned and worthless. As greater numbers of people understand how much reason threatens the G.O.P.’s existence a new era of enlightenment may be in the offing.

Speaking of banksters, why does this not surprise me even an itty bitty bit?

And there’s still nobody in jail for any of this shit.

And some poor dumb kid with a dimebag gets a mandatory minimum sentence. Fuh-huck!

As greater numbers of people understand how much reason threatens the G.O.P.’s existence a new era of enlightenment may be in the offing.

Or a round of “bread and circuses” (these days it would be “HFCS and Football”) accompanied by a “purge” targeting those pesky, intellectual elitists.

…a new era of enlightenment may be in the offing.

I, on the other hand, predict a new era of bat-shit, stump-humping, shrieking, sweaty, paranoid insanity. Mouse-pox for everyone! Aiieeee!

…bat-shit, stump-humping…

Shorter version “The Dark Ages”

Banging a Lore

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha …so you had a bad day? …I LOVE that picture. Day improvement commences.