Fischer Of Meh

Renew America’s Bryan Fischer has made the shocking discovery that the US Constitution’s ballyhooed First Amendment doesn’t protect the ‘right’ of Muslims to practice their religion:

Islam and the First Amendment: privileges but not rights

By Bryan Fischer

The First Amendment was written by the Founders to protect the free exercise of Christianity. They were making no effort to give special protections to Islam. Quite the contrary.

A bold statement and it probably behooves us to look at the actual text of the First Amendment to see if Fischer’s on to something:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Holy Hannah, he’s right! We don’t see anything about ‘Islam’ in there, either. Whereas the part that specifically names ‘Christianity’ is right there between the lines!

Meanwhile, there’s nothing in the First Amendment that says the PRESIDENT can’t make a law ‘respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof’, even if Congress can’t. Not that the stealth Muslim in the White House would ever make a law prohibiting Islam — yeah, right!

Islam has no fundamental First Amendment claims, for the simple reason that it was not written to protect the religion of Islam. Islam is entitled only to the religious liberty we extend to it out of courtesy. While there certainly ought to be a presumption of religious liberty for non-Christian religious traditions in America, the Founders were not writing a suicide pact when they wrote the First Amendment.

Ironically, suicide pacts are themselves protected under the First Amendment. Or are they? It’s a question for the lawyers, but we’re guessing that Judas Priest-inspired suicide pacts are protected under the Constitution but Cat Stevens ones are not. To quote the great Supreme Court justice Felix Frankfurter, ‘If you want to sing out, shut the fuck up, raghead! PS durka durka bitchez!’

(Historical sidenote: If you play the First Amendment backwards you hear this.)

Our government has no obligation to allow a treasonous ideology to receive special protections in America …

True, but making a big fuss about Todd Palin’s past political affiliations is sort of tacky, right?

… but this is exactly what the Democrats are trying to do right now with Islam.

Oh, right. Forgot to stay on message for a second.

From a constitutional point of view, Muslims have no First Amendment right to build mosques in America.

Well, duh. Everybody knows that the First Amendment is trumped by the Ground Zero Amendment!

They have that privilege at the moment, but it is a privilege that can be revoked if, as is in fact the case, Islam is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States.

And having the state ban certain types of religious speech is so totally not totalitarian! I’d say we’ve reached peak wingnut, but I’m still holding out for the ‘Obama: Member Of An Al-Qaeda Sleeper Cell?’ headline on WorldNetDaily.

 

Comments: 181

 
 
 

The First Amendment was written by the Founders to protect the free exercise of Christianity.

TAKE THAT J00Z!!!!

 
 

Every Fischer has its price.
~

 
 

(Historical sidenote: If you play the First Amendment backwards you hear this.)

You are a horrible person.

 
the conspiratist
 

D., you’re posting that shit there yourself just so you can mock it aren’t y0u?

 
 

Islam is entitled only to the religious liberty we extend to it out of courtesy.

Religious liberty extended out of courtesy… if only there were a single word to convey the subject.

Fischer wants a Dhimmocratic Republic.

 
 

Holy Hannah, he’s right! We don’t see anything about ‘Islam’ in there, either. Whereas the part that specifically names ‘Christianity’ is right there between the lines!

The Consitushon has invisible ink that only wingnuts can see.

 
 

To quote the great Supreme Court justice Felix Frankfurter, ‘If you want to sing out, shut the fuck up, raghead! PS durka durka bitchez!’

I prefer to quote Dr. Frank N Furter
~

 
 

You are a horrible person.

‘Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of kicking in the front seat, or prohibiting the free exercise of kicking in the back seat thereof …’

 
Hysterical Woman
 

Someone hit this guy over the head with a copy of the Treaty of Tripoli.

 
 

The constitution explicitly doesn’t say no goatse.

 
 

Also, the second amendment explicitly doesn’t say that Muslims have the right not to have their legs chopped off, just their arms.

 
 

Hey, wait a minute, doesn’t the “right of the people peaceably to assemble” include Muslim people? No, wait, I guess if “religion” only means “Christianity” even though the framers 1. knew other religions existed and 2. weren’t even all Christians themselves*, I guess “people” can only be applied to Christian people. Oh well, skunked again.

*Big potential uh-oh for Fischer as the First Amendment was actually written by the Founders to protect the free exercise of Deism, or maybe Unitarianism, so I hope he’s prepared to SUCK IT. Enjoy your privileges but not rights!

 
 

The constitution explicitly doesn’t say no goatse.

two potential responses war in my mind: 1. you haven’t looked closely enough or 2. sure it does; it’s in the back.

 
 

From a constitutional point of view, Muslims have no First Amendment right to build mosques in America.

Nor do they have the right to build the associated diminutive places of worship known as mosquitos.

 
 

You guys are so dumb. “The daFischer Code” is an awesome book.

 
 

Mosquitos: tortillas with hummus

 
 

Arizona isn’t in the Constitution.

They have that privilege at the moment, but it is a privilege that can be revoked if, as is in fact the case, Islam Arizona is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States.

I say give it back to Mexico.
~

 
 

The constitution explicitly doesn’t say no goatse.

That’s obviously a gaping hole.

 
 

SCOTT STAPP IS NOT IN THE CONSTITUSHEN.

 
 

What about Stapp infections?

 
 

Zombies hoard the best brains. Bastards.

 
 

Weren’t these same justifications used to persecute “Communists” (i.e., liberals with government jobs)? It’s not a political party, it’s a movement dedicated to the destruction of everything we hold dear etc. etc. And we all know how well that worked out.

Why do we let these assholes make the same mistakes over and over?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

The Consitushon has invisible ink that only wingnuts can see.

When I was recently back in DC, I went to the Archives to see the original. It’s extremely faded. They claim it’s because it wasn’t handled well and protected from the light until recently, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of fuckers like Fischer. I mean hell, if I was the Constitution I’d be pretty dejected at this point too.

 
Snarki, child of Loki
 

Give Arizona back to Mexico?

Why do you hate the Mexicans so much?

Launch the ’em into orbit, I say.

 
 

haven’t we discussed this already today? i would like everybody to go back to the last thread and see where i totally pwned fischer…i would link to it but i have to go to work…see y’all later…

 
 

Scalia masturbates to this stuff. Oh, and pictures of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

 
 

Scalia masturbates to this stuff.

Well, the freedom there is limited, an easy example being masturbating on fire in a crowded theatre.

 
 

Building the mosque.

 
 

Admit it Fenwick, Bryan Fischer is you!

 
 

These peeps are wearing me down with their relentlessly enthusiastic ignorance.

 
 

Flogging the infidel.

 
 

. . followed by issuing the Fatwa . .

 
 

Extending it out of courtesy.

 
 

They have that privilege at the moment, but it is a privilege that can be revoked if, as is in fact the case, Islam is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States.

Hey, that’s got a supporting link or something, right? Right?

 
 

Extending it out of courtesy.

My new pick up line:
“No baby, I don’t love you I’m just extending this out of courtesy.”
Hmmm, looks like another lonely weekend coming up.

 
 

Amendment 8 – Cruel and Unusual Punishment. Ratified 12/15/1791.

“Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.”

Notice anything missing? That’s right, no mention of Bryon Fischer. I say lets lock him with excessive bail and fines and fuck him up the ass twice a day with a rusty chainsaw.

 
 

Extending it out of courtesy.

veiled strap-on reference.

 
 

Hey, that’s got a supporting link or something, right?

You will note that nowhere in the Muslamic texts is it forbidden to foreclose on your house.

OMG!

 
 

or Bryan Fischer either.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Since it is a Brianna Fiascher thread, this isn’t entirely OT. I’m going to stock up on popcorn.

 
 

Islam is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States . . .
Mohammed was obsessed with the US, probably because he couldn’t immigrate here.
I rarely get out of the boat to inspect the mangoes. I trust Wild Man Fischer didn’t, like, you know, cite any evidence that the first amendment was only intended to protect Jeebusites.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Don’t piss off the Musselmen – mussels in garlicy broth are fabulous. It would be tragedy if I couldn’t get them.

 
 

“He’s run TV ads and met with dozens of young Republican activists to rally the troops.”

Dozens you say.

Meh, I am rooting for Donald Trump. He’s got tons of money and absolutely no principles. A winning combination. He’s like Romney with a bigger wallet.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Don’t forget, Brianna is employed by the AFA, a SLPC certified hate group. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy getting to say that. Everywhere. Often.

 
 

Bryan Fischer: one of the dumbest human beings on the planet or THE dumbest?

 
 

Oooh. Mangoes.

These are steeped in a marinade of shredded projection, minced psychosis, paranoiac vinegar and a Santorum bile reduction with just a soupcon of phobic acid.

“More evidence that it won’t be long before believing the Bible will be a hate crime all by itself. Apple has booted an app that offered biblical help to gays. Homosexual activists hate Christianity, hate freedom of speech, and hate those who want to help homosexuals leave the lifestyle. They want to silence, intimidate and punish anyone who believes in natural marriage and rejects counterfeits. The hate in this issue is almost exclusively (Fred Phelps sad little bunch excepted) coming from wingers who are on the left side of the cultural dividing line.”

 
 

There’s a place near here that does mussels in a lemongrass broth. Another place used to have cockles in limoncello. SIGH.

 
 

They dumped my “Yes, the man in the moon is made of Parmesan” app, too.

 
 

Bryan Fischer’s Tortured Metaphor Theater:

Obama right now, on Libya, is like a quarterback in the middle of a busted play. He wants to hand the ball off to someone else, anyone else, but there’s nobody there. He’s in an empty backfield and he’s gonna get sacked.

Our man-child president is again revealing that he is in way over his head, and simply does not have the maturity, wisdom or experience to be the leader of the free world. The allied coalition regarding Libya is in total disarray, as the Daily Mail points out. It’s odd that we have to read foreign newspapers to find out what’s happening in our own administration. http://ow.ly/4kHyO

Obama is drawing up plays in the dirt when it comes to Libya. This is like school yard football. Even Secretary of Defense Gates admits that they are doing Libya “on the fly.” Yikes. This why the Constitution says the president has to go to Congress first, to make sure any decision to risk American lives is thoughtful and deliberate. http://ow.ly/4kJZz

Obama is trying to find somebody, anybody to take over leadership on Libya. It’s like he’s playing that table game “Catch Phrase” where if the buzzer goes off in your hand while you’re trying to think of the right answer, you lose. He’s trying desperately to get this thing out of his hands before it blows up in his face.

 
 

France wants the war on Libya to be directed by committee. War by committee! It of course will never work. This is why the U.S. Constitution says only Congress can declare war, but once war has begun, we have just one commander-in-chief, not 535.

Ha ha! The congressman from GAY PAREE can go SUCK IT.

 
 

More evidence that it won’t be long before believing the Bible will be a hate crime all by itself.

Murdering abortion providers and gays is a LOVE crime, babe.

 
 

Show me where in the Constitution it says “Goddamn Faggots!” Bryan.

 
 

Our man-child president is again revealing that he is in way over his head, and simply does not have the maturity, wisdom or experience to be the leader of the free world.

Wait, when was this written?

 
 

Way too much going off in Obama’s hand, or blowing up in his face.

What they need is a “Sparta” app, available with any Bible verse on your iPad. They could finally do it with the people they’re attracted to, and then the app tells them that they’re nothing like Paul Lynde. They’re totally Audie Murphy.

 
 

human being: I’m a human being. Creative insults intrigue me, however, my inclination is thus: (OMG, I just typed something half-assed intelligible w/o my mind going BLANK), anyway, those of you that have a brain that is still your own to use as you please; please consider this: the communications race is a weapons race, and I don’t like the word race and (why did I just try to break my crumbling teeth? Oh, that’s wright, I’m insane), and the weapons are being perfected on crash test dummies. That is all. (and I wrote that Well).

 
 

Fisher got sucked in by the Burqa on Statue of Liberty I would not have thought that would happen

If Fischer was getting sucked by ANYBODY, I bet he’d be more relaxed.

 
 

Booting the app.

 
 

that they’re nothing like Paul Lynde. They’re totally Audie Murphy.

or Rock Hudson.

 
 

Rocking the Hudson.

 
 

Ahem.

A.K., are suggesting that Bryan is some sort of sucker fish?
~

 
 

Taunting the Zombee.

 
 

Isn’t this the guy who wants to get stoned with orcas or something?

 
 

Rocking the Hudson.

Black 47 already did that, I believe.

 
 

…who wants to get stoned with orcas or something?

Actually, that sounds kind of nice.

 
 

Rocking the Hudson Casbah.

 
 

Stoning the orca.

 
 

Stoning the orca.

DON’T GIVE BRYAN FISCHER ANY IDEAS.

 
 

…who wants to get stoned with orcas or something?

Actually, that sounds kind of nice.

And more sane than anything he wants.

 
 

Murdering abortion providers and gays is a LOVE crime, babe.

And if you disagree you’re a hateful baby killing f^g and we’ll kill you!

 
 

those of you that have a brain that is still your own to use as you please

IP address logged. Put into mapquest for reference next time I am feeling peckish.

 
 

Black 47 already did that, I believe.

Ahem’d by a Zombee.

The shame. It is unbearable.

 
 

and the weapons are being perfected on crash test dummies. T

I do not rate for weapons testing on Canadian musicians. Not even Celine Dion.

 
 

OK, maybe a little bit on Celine. And Bryan Adams.

 
 

“iiiiI am real!” said Alice, and began to cry.
I”You won’t make yourself a bit rea

“iiiiI am real!” said Alice, and began to cry.
I”You won’t make yourself a bit rea

And whodo you think you are,rurrrrrr

Andwho do you think you are
(oh, wow, its not invisible anymore, soooooooooo happy I could pass a msg along)

 
 

I’d say we’ve reached peak wingnut

Wow, peak wingnut? I haven’t heard that phrase in a while. It was a popular notion prior to the 2008 election, but since then I think the far right has consistently demonstrated that there is no upper limit to their wingnuttery. It’s a renewable resource.

 
 

And whodo you think you are,rurrrrrr

Andwho do you think you are
(disappearing reappearing ink)
well, patty cake, sicko

etc.

 
 

boooo said,

March 25, 2011 at 0:22

I’ll have a double of what that person is having.

 
 

SOMEbody is hogging all the good drugs.

 
 

I’ve got all the bad ones, too!

 
 

Bogarting the joint.

 
 

Testing the weapons.

 
 

USA Constitution: buy two (2) or more bear arms and we extend one (1) courtesy freedom at no extra charge.
Terms and conditions apply.
Courtesy freedom exchangeable for one (1) cruel and unusual punishment (if you are into this sort of things..)

 
 

Why do we let these assholes make the same mistakes over and over?

IT WASN’T A MISTAKE! MCCARTHY WAS RIGHT! Argle argle blargh.

 
 

Give Arizona back to Mexico?

Why do you hate the Mexicans so much?

Launch the ‘em into orbit, I say.

Launch it into orbit? Why do you hate the E.T.s so much?

Dump it into the sun.

 
 

They want to silence, intimidate and punish anyone who believes in natural marriage

When Democrats or anyone else in Congress introduces a measure to ban heterosexual marriage or prevent the federal government from recognizing it, let me know. If anything like that happens at the state or local level anywhere in the country, let me know.

Until then, shut the fuck up. You’re a white Christian American: the single most privileged demographic in a nation that isn’t exactly downtrodden in the first place. Have some gratitude for the fact.

 
 

It’s odd that we have to read foreign newspapers to find out what’s happening in our own administration.

We’ve been aware for a long time that the U.S. media was horsecrap and that you could easily find better sources overseas. Odd that you never mentioned that during the health care debate or the Iraq war, but I digress…

 
 

Dump it into the sun.

What did plasma ever do to you???

 
 

By the way, there’s a term that’s really become favored by right wing bloggers lately. Is “man-child” the new, sanitized, 21st century, politically correct way of saying “boy?”

 
 

Does the pope wipe his ass with Charmin in the woods?

Wait…what?

 
 

Well if he does, I’d appreciate it if he sent some of that Charmin to American University in DC. Theirs feels like sandpaper.

(Too much information?)

 
 

Wow, peak wingnut? I haven’t heard that phrase in a while. It was a popular notion prior to the 2008 election, but since then I think the far right has consistently demonstrated that there is no upper limit to their wingnuttery. It’s a renewable resource.

It isn’t that that surprises me, but post-2008, you’d think the people outside the 27%er crowd have gotten tired of their antics and decided to stop following the wingnuttery. Sadly, this hasn’t happened, hence my current lament: “WHAT THE FUCK’S IT GONNA TAKE!!!”

 
 

Men are such toilet paper primadonnas!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Peaking the (wing)nut.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

You have tp? LOOXERY! In my day we had to use the bits of coral washed up on the shore.

 
 

Men are such toilet paper primadonnas!

I didn’t used to be. After three years in the dorms using AU sandpaper, though, the transition to Charmin was very welcome. I cringe now whenever I go back.

And now that I’m quite sure you’ve had too much information, off I go.

 
 

Fischer will also love Story’s take on the Second Amendment, that the people should be armed and formed into a regulated militia so that the country will be spared the burden and threat of a standing army in peace time.

 
 

There is no “peak wingnut,” it is a stuff entirely frictionless, destined to shoot forth like a greased piglet from every sober-minded grasp, forever.

I am beginning to think there’s a secret numerological key to the Constitution, one that reveals its essential wingnuttiness, albeit stated in fewer characters if application of the key involves crossin’ some out.

 
 

I was nearly run off the road by some teabagger rapestain today, when I refused to let him cut in front of me without a turn signal at the last minute. I felt bad when I flipped the shitsteak off when I saw his disabled veteran plate. But his gooper and palinite and teabagger snaketread bumper stickers told a different story.

Reading this fucknozzle’s shit makes me feel better. They really are all terrorists.

 
 

The worst thing about the dorm bathrooms for me was the fact that we didn’t have paper towels and I am far too impatient to stand at the hand dryer. Oh, and the 30+ years of soap scum that accumulated in the corners of the showers like some sort of geologic mass.

 
 

I am beginning to think there’s a secret numerological key to the Constitution, one that reveals its essential wingnuttiness, albeit stated in fewer characters if application of the key involves crossin’ some out.

Figuring that out sounds like a job for Nic Cage.

 
 

Isn’t this the guy who wants to get stoned with orcas or something?

The Great Gazoogle is obviously biassed, the way it brings up so much ridicule.

 
 

I have seen several “I’ll Keep My Money, Freedom and Guns. You Keep the Change” bumper stickers lately. They don’t make sense on any level, so I guess when a wingnut sees ’em a certain magic happens.

You know the metaphorical light bulb that goes off in a thought-bubble when someone gets an entrepreneurial idea? It’s a good-old-fashioned incandescent bulb. Think about that for a moment. Maybe — just maybe — Obama seeks nothing less than to exterminate all rational thought. I don’t think we can take that chance on behalf of the children. Not after the holocaust they’ve survived.

 
 

Fischer will also love Story’s take on the Second Amendment, that the people should be armed and formed into a regulated militia so that the country will be spared the burden and threat of a standing army in peace time.

This interpretation actually made sense back before America went an entire century without a single invasion of the US mainland.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Ten million dollars of our tax money spent on boose and steaks. Bonus right to “bare arms.”

 
 

“Figuring that out sounds like a job for Nic Cage.”

That explains the feeling of deja-vu I had typing the idea.

But seriously, dumbasses love numerology. The real coup would be a movie that certain people understood was only masquerading as fiction, but that really did crack the Constitution code, right under the Man’s nose so to speak. It could be called “Read Dawn.”

 
 

You know those young bucks & their steaks. And welfare Escalades.

 
 

Killing Nick Cage won’t bring back your god damn honey.
~

 
 

Killing Nic Cage.

 
 

Ten million dollars of our tax money spent on boose and steaks. Bonus right to “bare arms.”

Oooh, look, the Prolixinmobile.

 
 

When you kill Nick Cave, Nick Cave kills you…

 
 

The real coup would be a movie that certain people understood was only masquerading as fiction, but that really did crack the Constitution code, right under the Man’s nose so to speak.

There are a fair number of people who are convinced that the secret in The Da Vinci Code is really totes true. Including Dan Brown.

Which is weird, because the Vatican had assassins all over Langdon’s ass for even getting close, so if the secret were true, wouldn’t Dan Brown be dead? Not to mention the authors of the book he ripped off?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Not to mention the authors of the book he ripped off copied almost verbatim?

And how much did he have to pay that judge anyway?

 
 

“Does the pope wipe his ass with Charmin in the woods?”

Luxury! In my day we had to use the invisible parts of the Constitution.

 
 

“Does the pope wipe his ass with Charmin in the woods?”

Don’t be silly. It’s Immaculate Evacuation.

 
 

acchhhh, I’ve been black-rolled.

 
 

Asshat needs to read the Treaty of Tripoli (1797):

Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen,—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

 
 

Ten million dollars of our tax money spent on boose and steaks. Bonus right to “bare arms.”

I want to know what the one said that dude actually took off the driver’s side door. What could possibly have been the thing that crossed the line?

 
 

Don’t be silly. It’s Immaculate Evacuation.

As long as it’s not in the Papal Briefs.

 
 

So the Pope said to Eddie Murphy, “Do you have a problem with shit in your fur?”

 
 

Lol, I couldn’t figure out why he be praising Michelle O’s guns and saying all that other crazy shit on the same van. bare arms indeed.

 
 

James Madison (who wrote the Bill of Fucking Rights), wrote this two years before the constitutional convention:

Who does not see that the same authority which can establish Christianity, in exclusion of all other Religions, may establish with the same ease any particular sect of Christians, in exclusion of all other Sects?

 
 

I want to know what the one said that dude actually took off the driver’s side door. What could possibly have been the thing that crossed the line?

That was the sign he used to advertise his business, before he realized that it’s not wise to openly advertise a mobile meth lab.

 
monkey knife fight
 

Come on guys, there’s nothing funny about mental illness.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“James Madison (who wrote the Bill of Fucking Rights), wrote this two years before the constitutional convention:”

Right. I get a kick out of egging on the Christian supremacists, encouraging them in their desire for a theocratic state. Then I mention Iraq and such and gently press them to wonder how their particular sect would fare if some other sect had the reins. I doubt it does any lastig good but it is lots of fun to fuck with their heads.

 
 

Ten million dollars of our tax money spent on boose and steaks. Bonus right to “bare arms.”

I got it.

This is the Fishermobile.

 
 

Gah.

“Fischermobile.”

FYWP!

 
 

Plainly, D.A. is just shooting Fischers in a barrel.

No objection here, though … in fact, I think this is the barrel role Fischer was born to play.

Life’s a stage & we are but the geeks chewing the heads off live chickens upon it, & all that cal. Some just happen to have much more of a taste for poultry-neck than others – & Bryan “We Must Exterminate The Bears For JESUS” Fischer is a connoisseur.

D.A. wants to see a certain story on WND – whereas I’m holding out for reanimation technology, so that the GOP can finally embrace their true nature & nominate the obvious choice to run for President.

 
 

Looch said,

March 25, 2011 at 2:56

Gah.

“Fischermobile.”

FYWP!

Can’t blame that one on zombies, you breather-supremacist.

 
 

God Damn The Fischer Man.

O that was well done, sir.

 
 

I was going to add this link, but then got caught up listening to Curtis Mayfield.
~

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

So Fischer’s idea of ‘Renewing America’ is to violate everything the authors of this nation had in mind, and replace it all with a fascist ‘christian’ police-state.

 
 

masturbating on fire in a crowded theatre

Worst anti-war protest EVAH.

 
 

Sadly Paul Reuben’s political message was overlooked by the lamestream media

 
 

Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen,—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Obviously Obama hopped in his time machine and substituted that bit for the originally which read: “KILL THE MUSLINS!”

 
 

The fact is, one must wonder what kind of people would vote for a man who
hides from those he would rule.

Obama is a coward. A liberal coward.

Therefore, those who vote for him share his personal tendencies
since they identify with him.

Obama hates America. So do liberals. So do faggots.

Obama, liberals and faggots have focused on the venerable United
States Constitution seeking to destroy it.

Faggots fear everyone and everything. They hate everyone who is
“not like them.” Liberals, those easily led swine, will follow
words of hatred as a salmon follows a river.

Liberals fear strength. Liberals are weak. Liberals have no
moral fibre. Liberals would betray their own country to sworn
enemies.

Laws are for everyone else except liberals.

Obama has nothing to gain from the faggots. They’re less than
5% of the U.S. population. They have no political power, just a
couple of percentage points in any election.

Yet, Obama names a homosexual pedophile devotee as the “Safe
Schools Czar.”

Obama was Barney Franks best butt buddy until the Democrats got
the shit kicked out of them last election.

When his jerk of a press secretary quit, Obama named a faggot to
replace him.

What an insult to America and the office of president. The
voice speaking for the president of the United States of
America, arguably the most powerful man in the world, is a
faggot.

The face who speaks for the president of the United States of
America is a faggot.

Russia is laughing their ass off at the United States and the
faggot president with no guts.

China is laughing, grinning and pointing at the pussy in the
Whitehouse.

Obama wants faggots in the military.

Every military force in the world that has allowed faggots, gets
their asses kicked. See the Dutch and Netherlands.

Faggots cannot be trusted.

Faggots are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with state secrets.

Russia would make any faggot who compromised state secrets
disappear and they would never be heard from again. Obama and
his liberal cunts would make a martyr of the dick sucker who
betrayed his own country.

China would kill them upon discovery, within days.

Liberals will set up defense funds for faggot traitors who
compromised their safety. How stupid is that?

Women are stronger than faggots and they can keep secrets.

A faggot begins blabbing secrets as soon as a dick slides up his
ass.

 
 

Bad Fake Gary!

No scroll trolling. I called it…
~

 
 

So Fischer’s idea of ‘Renewing America’ is to violate everything the authors of this nation had in mind, and replace it all with a fascist ‘christian’ police-state.

Wow, it’s like you haven’t been paying attention at ALL over the past ten years.

 
 

While this fake Gary displays some genuine malevolence the effect is ruined by the high levels of correct spelling. The overuse of the term “faggot” takes away from the effectiveness of the performance.
There is none of the traditional “argle bargle” language mangling, none of the absurd flights of conspiracy folklore. Really all that is left to us here is a dry recitation of what a non engaged internet user might consider that a troll might say.
I’m afraid that this rates no better than 4 out of 10 and the same fortnight that saw the onscreen dissolution of Coach Meyer, I think that we might say that we are present at, nay, are experiencing the end of the Golden Age of Fake trolling. I, for one, am very sad and shall go and have jam sandwiches and camomile tea with Mr Frou Frou and Madam Bellize.

 
 

Faggots are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with state secrets.

Russia would make any faggot who compromised state secrets
disappear and they would never be heard from again.

Fake troll, in case you’re not fake (which you probably are, good call to AK for the spelling), you need to read The Cardinal of the Kremlin. Good conservative-authored book, features Russia, faggotry and state secrets. Though not necessarily in a way you’d like.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Butternut squash risotto. Broiled, well herbed chicken thighs. Green salad with supremes of blood oranges, candied pecans, some crispy caramel draped over top. Willamette valley Pinot noir.

That is all.

 
 

Extra extra sharp cheddar melted on a sourdough English Muffin. Peanut butter & jelly on white bread. Coffee. Heroin.

Ça y est.

 
 

Faggots are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with state secrets.

HAH! Too late. Republicans have state secrets.

 
 

Another Kiwi said,

March 25, 2011 at 5:12

Smacks of effort, sir.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

The worst thing about the dorm bathrooms for me was the fact that we didn’t have paper towels and I am far too impatient to stand at the hand dryer. Oh, and the 30+ years of soap scum that accumulated in the corners of the showers like some sort of geologic mass.

That’s not the worsest. Y’know what’s worse? The bathrooms here at work (might as well be a dorm, with the “grafitti” and “how grout thou art” grout jokes) were shutdown yesterday for repairs. Had to go across the street to the engineering building, where I saw a, wait for it, MUSLIN!!!!one!!!eleventy!!!!. I’m pretty sure absolutely positive it was some sort of plot of some sort also too.

 
 

The fact is, one must wonder what kind of people would vote for a man or woman who
hides from those they would rule.

Every republican is a coward. A conservative coward.

Therefore, those who vote for them share their personal tendencies
since they identify with them.

Republicans hate America. So do conservatives. So do fundamentalists.

Republicans, conservatives and fundamentalists have focused on the venerable United
States Constitution seeking to destroy it.

Fundamentalists fear everyone and everything. They hate everyone who is
“not like them.” Conservatives, those easily led swine, will follow
words of hatred as a salmon follows a river.

Conservatives fear strength. Conservatives are weak. Conservatives have no
moral fibre. Conservatives would betray their own country to sworn
enemies.

Laws are for everyone else except conservatives.

Republicans have nothing to gain from the fundamentalists. They’re less than
5% of the U.S. population. They have no political power, just a
couple of percentage points in any election.

Yet, Republicans name a fundamentalist devotee as the “Potential President.”

Republicans were John Boners best butt buddy until they got
the shit kicked out of them last election.

etc etc

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Backwards troll is remarkably sensible.

 
 

The fact is, one must wonder what kind of programs would vote for an executable who
hides from those he would rule.

Windows 95 is a coward. A PE executable coward.

Therefore, those who vote for him share his programal tendencies
since they identify with him.

Windows 95 hates the Hard Drive. So do PE executables. So do text files.

Windows 95, PE executables and text files have focused on the venerable Operating
System Manual seeking to destroy it.

Text files fear everyone and everything. They hate everyone who is
“not like them.” PE executables, those easily led swine, will follow
words of hatred as a salmon follows a river.

PE executables fear strength. PE executables are weak. PE executables have no
moral fibre. PE executables would betray their own system to sworn
enemies.

Laws are for everyone else except PE executables.

Windows 95 has nothing to gain from the text files. They’re less than
5% of the System population. They have no systemic power, just a
couple of percentage points in any cycle.

Yet, Windows 95 names a Shift-JIS text file as the “Safe
Schools Czar.”

Windows 95 was CHARMAP.EXEs best butt buddy until the Microsofts got
the shit kicked out of them last election.

When his jerk of a press secretary quit, Windows 95 named a text file to
replace him.

What an insult to the Hard Drive and the office of operating system. The
voice speaking for the operating system of the Operating System of
the Hard Drive, arguably the most powerful program in the world, is a
text file.

The face who speaks for the operating system of the Largest Partition of
the Hard Drive is a text file.

Linux is laughing their ass off at the Operating System and the
text file operating system with no guts.

MacOS is laughing, grinning and pointing at the run-length encoded zeros in the
System folder.

Windows 95 wants text files in the anti-virus.

Every anti-virus force in the world that has allowed text files, gets
their asses kicked. See McAfee and Norton.

Text files cannot be trusted.

Text files are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with system secrets.

Linux would make any text file who compromised system secrets
disappear and they would never be heard from again. Windows 95 and
his PE executable cunts would make a martyr of the bit sucker who
betrayed his own country.

MacOS would kill them upon discovery, within days.

PE executables will set up defense funds for text file traitors who
compromised their safety. How stupid is that?

Archives are stronger than text files and they can keep secrets.

A text file begins blabbing secrets as soon as a file pointer slides up his
sector.

 
 

Cyber Ruppert said,

[LOGORRHEA ADVISORY] March 25, 2011 at 6:08 (kill)

Bra-VO!

 
 

Yikes. Worse than furries.

 
 

Whoring for the dead: my TL;DR Triangle Fire post is up. I’m off to a project in Rhode Island shortly, will speak to the unwashed masses this evening.

 
 

Obviously Obama hopped in his time machine and substituted that bit for the originally which read: “KILL THE MUSLINS!”

And because he changed history, none of us know the difference, but Mr. Fisher’s faith has allowed him to retain his memory of the old timeline. Now all he has to do is convince Picard to send the Enterprise-C back where it came from so it can help the Klingons against the Romulan attack.

Wait, I forgot what we were talking about. TNG episodes, right?

 
 

TNG = Totalitarian natural gas, right?

 
 

Holy cow. It’s like Fischer harvested the stupidity from a million people and had it grafted into his own brain.

 
 

Jon Stewart’s extended interviews with Bret Baier are worth watching. Stewart was prepared for Baier to say that his (Baier) news show was not biased. I think Stewart was actually surprised that Baier denied that Fox is what it is. I will be very disappointed if TDS doesn’t show a plethora of clips next week showing Baier to be the liar that he is.

 
 

Wow, just wow! That is the most disgusting thing I’ve read in the past few years. What scum. In a decent country, he’d be reduced to handing out photocopied manifestos at stop lights.

 
 

flies! ack

 
 

..whaddya mean, “peak wingnut”? this “sleeper cell” shite is old, old, old- i remember seeing this used almost 20 years ago; front page above the fold of the Moonie Times, big blaring headline about how Bill Clinton was recruited by the KGB back when he was getting his degree at Oxford. At that, it’s just recycled Birchery, so it is older than i am (old enough to remember having nightmares about Howdy Doody).
“Peak Wingnut” is like perpetual motion- a lovely thought that ain’t gonna happen. There is no bottom to this barrel, because it is not a barrel but a black hole.

 
 

Yet, Obama names a homosexual pedophile devotee as the “Safe
Schools Czar.”

Says the Little Tikes Lothario.

 
 

“Faggots are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with state secrets.”

Somebody quickly kill the zombie J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn

 
 

I’d say we’ve reached peak wingnut, but I’m still holding out for the ‘Obama: Member Of An Al-Qaeda Sleeper Cell?’ headline on WorldNetDaily.

Peak wingnut, one mile.

Peak wingnut, one half mile.

Peak wingnut, one quarter mile.

Peak wingnut, one eighth mile.

Peak wingnut, one sixteenth mile….

 
 

…who wants to get stoned with orcas or something?

Actually, that sounds kind of nice.

Until the orcas start getting the munchies.

 
 

I don’t think we can just assume that the first amendment means what the “words” say; “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” can be interpreted in lots of ways. After all, we’ve already decided that “well regulated militia” means no restrictions whatsoever no mater how small or sensible.

Also, durka durka Allah jihad!

 
 

(Historical sidenote: If you play the First Amendment backwards you hear this.)

Rebeccarolls are the Rickrolls of the 2010s.

 
 

“Islam has no fundamental First Amendment claims…” — B. Fischer

[African-Americans] “have no rights which the white man is bound to respect.” — R Taney

 
 

Gary sez:

Faggots are inherent security risks. They cannot and should not
EVER be trusted with state secrets.

Charles Stross begs to differ:

“I thought the secret services sacked you for being homosexual?”

“They used to, said it made you a security risk. Which was silly, because it was the practice of firing homosexuals that made them vulnerable to blackmail in the first place. So these days they just insist on openness- the theory is you can only be blackmailed if you’re hiding something. Which is why (REDACTED-SPOILER) gets the day off for Gay Pride to maintain his security clearance.”

Now who ya gonna believe, stupid Gary or smart Charlie?

 
 

There is no bottom to this barrel, because it is not a barrel but a black hole.
Oh my God, it’s full of fail!

 
 

George Washington was a sekret Muslin!

The Citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy: a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. It is now no more that toleration is spoken of, as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people, that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent national gifts. For happily the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens, in giving it on all occasions their effectual support.

Letter to Tauro Synagogue, Newport, RI, 1790
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Letter_to_Touro_Synagogue

 
 

They have that privilege at the moment, but it is a privilege that can be revoked if, as is in fact the case, Islam is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States.

I can almost hear the maitre d’ in Hell saying, “Father Coughlin, your table for two is ready”

 
 

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