The Professor Is In

While wading through Don “Jim Bob” Surber’s shiite at his eponymous blog, it struck me that it is quite possible that Surber has done something most people would think impossible. He appears to be getting dumber. Like many, I had thought that Surber had dug himself to the bottom of the stupid hole, but I truly think that I was mistaken.

Let’s start with Surber on voter ID requirements, which, of course, he likes:

To buy a pack of smokes, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

To buy a pack of beer, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

Why should you not get carded to vote?

Apparently, Surber doesn’t get out of his trailer much and makes his common-law wife do all the shopping for his liquor and tobacco. How else could he think that everyone buying a pack of cigarettes has to whip out a driver’s license first regardless of how old they look? But let’s suppose that in Poca, West Virginia, this really is the case. Isn’t there perhaps a teensy-weensy difference between smoking and voting, other than, of course, the mortality rate? Maybe voting is like going to the movies, and you should have to pay $10 first. Or maybe it’s like going to college and you have to take a test first. Or having sex and you have to take your pants off first.

Then Surber moves on to crystal meth.Not surprisingly Surber believes that the right to manufacture crystal meth is more important than the right to vote. Surber is upset that West Virginia is requiring a prescription for Sudafed. So he takes another unfortunate gambol down analogy lane and, once again, steps on a rake and breaks his nose. Surber points out that in the oldey-timey days moonshiners use sugar to make moonshine

Which raises the question: If we had the same people in the Legislature then that we have today, would they have banned sugar?

That analogy might have more oomph if people sprinkle Sudafed on their morning oatmeal, stir it in their coffee, and make donuts from it. Or if Sudafed were being banned.

Next Surber moves on to the gays. Polishing up his Jim Hoft award for journalistic excellence, Surber refers to Bradley Manning as “the gay intelligence analyst who gave away all our secrets.” I would have thought that the U.S. perhaps had a few more secrets than could be found in the Wikileaks cables such as, say, our nuclear launch codes and whether Obama dresses left or right, but what do I know? According to Surber, Andrew Sullivan and Glen Greenwald are complaining about the treatment of Manning, and in particular the Army’s decision to take all of Manning’s clothes from him at night, because they are both gay, gay, gay, gay, gay and Manning is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

They can be gay all they want. Gay with each other. That is not the problem.

The problem is they are being less than honest.

You see, Gay Glenn and Gay Andy, because they are gay, aren’t mentioning that Gay Bradley joked that he could gay kill himself with his gay flip-flops and that is why the Army had no choice but to make him spend his evenings in his cell with no gay clothes. How someone can kill themselves with a pair of flip-flops is a problem that Surber has not bothered to consider. Probably he thinks that the gays have some secret gay flip-flop tricks that can be used in exigent circumstances and that Gay Glenn and Gay Andy are keeping these tricks secret to make straight people look bad.

 

Comments: 172

 
 
Overton's Lawyer
 

Frosh!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Probably he thinks that the gays have some secret gay flip-flop tricks that can be used in exigent circumstances and that Gay Glenn and Gay Andy are keeping these tricks secret to make straight people look bad.”

Apparently Tintin was out sick the day we had lesson H-21/b at gay school.

 
 

Why should you not get carded to vote?

I don’t know about other states, but here in Florida I have had to show my driver’s license and voter ID every time I’ve voted.

 
 

Or having sex and you have to take your pants off first.

Oh, so that’s how it works!

Probably he thinks that the gays have some secret gay flip-flop tricks that can be used in exigent circumstances and that Gay Glenn and Gay Andy are keeping these tricks secret to make straight people look bad.

They’re just upset that he doesn’t get to wear those FAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUSSSSSS prison uniforms.

 
 

I don’t know about other states, but here in Florida I have had to show my driver’s license and voter ID every time I’ve voted.

Most states don’t have that, but it’s getting to be a new thing to prevent “voter fraud” (ie, discriminate against people who don’t have birth certificates or drivers licenses). Here in Missouri, you can show your voter ID card or you picture ID, but they’re trying to change that on accounta all the ni–ACORN-types flocking to the polls to rig it so the good, clean, Christian people will lose the vote.

 
 

Shorter conservatards:

It’s OK to buy guns freely with no background check or registration but voter must be double-plus checked! Some Constitutional rights are more important than others!

 
 

You know how lie-berals are all peacenik hippies with the “no nukes” and all that? But the plane that dropped the Bomb on Hiroshima was the Enola Gay. Who are the hypocrites now, libtards?

 
 

“the gay intelligence analyst who gave away all our secrets.”

Only gays would care about constitutional rights and civil liberties like “innocent until charged and convicted”.

 
 

I am dumberer for having read that.

 
 

how quickly we all forget…sugar is obviously a key ingredient in yellow cake. coincidence? I THINK NOT.

 
 

Even shorter conservatards: TORCHER MAKES MY WEE-WEE HARD!
~

 
 

Is anybody incredibly interested in learning the gay flip-flop secrets now? Just me?

 
 

It would have been fantastic if they had just tasered him.

 
 

that Gay Glenn and Gay Andy are keeping these tricks secret to make straight people look bad.

Like we straight people need the help. Thanks Surber.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Which raises the question: If we had the same people in the Legislature then that we have today, would they have banned sugar?

If they had known then what we now know about the shit, they would have!

how quickly we all forget…sugar is obviously a key ingredient in yellow cake. coincidence? I THINK NOT.

I LOLded, I did.

 
 

“Is anybody incredibly interested in learning the gay flip-flop secrets now? Just me?”

Step away from the filp-flops. You do not know the horrors they are capable of……

 
 

Is don surber 12? What does Bradley Manning’s sexual orientation have to do with anything? Besides the super-cool secret gay flip-flop tricks he knows…and which I must now know!

 
 

Possibly Jim Bob Joe Don Bob gets carded all the time when buying his corn likker because it’s really hard to determine the age of a grey-haired thumb with eyes. Also, when half your county’s on meth because the evil guvmint didn’t ban sugar or whatever the fuck Joe Bob Dan Bob Jim Bob Bob Bob is on about there, the 18-year-olds end up looking 65 and you have to card them anyway and LOOK OUT TEH GAY BUTTSECKS

 
 

To buy a pack of smokes, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

To buy a pack of beer, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

Why should you not get carded to vote?

Well, Jimbob, if you weren’t so clueless about basic American history and/or a racist, you might know that there is at least one reason.

I keep thinking we’ve reached Peak Wingnut, but it never quite seems to happen. Instead, they just keep getting stupider.

If I had more faith in humanity, I’d chalk it up to some sort of twisted performance art. But since I have no faith in my fellow man, I’ll just chalk it up to willful stupidity, unrepentant ignorance, and abhorrent racism.

 
 

Jim Hoft award for journalistic excellence

That was in the director’s cut of Idiocracy, right?

 
 

Flip flops are the footwear of gay fascism …

 
 

Surber has a point though. One’s sexual proclivities do a lot to shape one’s biases so Greenwald and Sullivan should preface everything they say with a big coming-out-of-the-closet party. Just like Don Surber’s byline should include “only humps domestic pick-up trucks – USA! USA! USA!”.

 
 

,,,and which I must now know!

Your wish is my command. You wear them with work socks. And then you die from shame.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

To buy a pack of smokes, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

To buy a pack of beer, you get carded.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

Worst poem EVAR!!!

 
 

You wear them with work socks.

I call bullshit. That does not sounds fabulous

 
 

Worst poem EVAR!!!

That made me guffaw. Yes, guffaw.

 
 

Here in Indiana, home of http://www.ideasactionblog.org/2011/03/elderly-nuns-sec-of-state-charlie-white.html“>The World’s Most Restrictive Voter ID Law (TM), the same conservative lawmakers who passed the Voter ID law are working to repeal a law that requires liquor stores and other retailers to check IDs.

Sadly, yes.

And now that our chief elections officer, the Secretary of State, has been indicted on voter-fraud charges – which the Voter ID law did nothing to prevent – it’s even more pathetic.

 
 

It isn’t fabulous. That’s how you commit gay-suicide with gay flip-flops. You dress like Don Surber and upon realizing what you look like, lose all reason for living.

 
 

t West Virginia is requiring a prescription for Sudafed

First you put on the gaaaay flip flops, then you smurf all over town gathering gaaaaay sudafed, then you go back to the gaaay trailer and take your pants off to cook up the gaaay meth, then it’s time for the freaky insane het normative culturally accepted missionary position semi-chaste sexual encounter.

At least that’s what I’ve heard.

 
 

Worst poem Motorhead lyrics</b EVAR!!!

Fecksed.

 
 

It isn’t fabulous. That’s how you commit gay-suicide with gay flip-flops. You dress like Don Surber and upon realizing what you look like, lose all reason for living.

Oooooh. OK, it all makes sense now.

smurf all over town gathering gaaaaay sudafed

I’m sorry, but this just sounds fun. I want to smurf all over town gathering gay sudafed. And I want do it wearing wooden clogs.

 
 

You know who else under-estimated the power of the flip-flop? John Kerry, that’s who.

 
 

Wooden clogs with business socks would probably work too.

 
 

They can be gay all they want. Gay with each other. That is not the problem.

Yeah, they can totally gay it up and get all gay and put on shiny leather thongs and whip each other and do all other sorts of gay gay gay stuff because they’re both gay guys who just can’t stop bein’ gay.

That is not the problem. I totally don’t care. Don’t even know why I’m mentioning it.

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

then it’s time for the freaky insane het normative culturally accepted missionary position semi-chaste sexual encounter.

Worst Penthouse Forum ending ever.

 
 

Peak Wingnut is merely a hypothesis, and no evidence for its existence has ever been found.
~

 
 

Worst Penthouse Forum ending ever.

No, the worst Penthouse Forum ending goes like this:

“And then Katherine Lopez and Ross Douthat, grabbed the tub of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ and joined in.”

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

I stand corrected. And covered in vomit.

 
 

If something passes through the, admittedly, thin membrane between sanity and insanity because of the addition of a Surber column, does is become adsurder? AFAF

@Brian K, that is some weird shit.

 
 

Peak Wingnut is merely a hypothesis, and no evidence for its existence has ever been found.

So it’s like “Reasonable Conservative” or “Progressive Democrat” or “not clinically-fucking insane conservative blogger” or “non-whorish D-KW’s mom” … ?

Interesting.

Next you’ll tell me that Santa Claus isn’t real …

 
 

Peak Wingnut is merely a hypothesis, and no evidence for its existence has ever been found.
~

I have scientifically proven that we will reach peak wingnut exactly 7.3 minutes after the Planet Killer Meteor strikes.

 
 

And covered in vomit.

New worst ending!

Also, my cat just pushed the mute button on my keyboard. What does she have against Sam Seder?!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

cook up the gaaay meth, then it’s time for the freaky insane het normative culturally accepted missionary position semi-chaste sexual encounter

With the leader of a prominent evangelical group.

 
 

“And then Katherine Lopez and Ross Douthat, grabbed the tub of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ and joined in.”

Seeing as how Ross only does the sexing in order to make babies, that means we’d be seeing the offspring of those two at some point.

So yeah, probably even worse than you thought at first.

 
 

I don’t have to show my ID to vote, I just tell the sweet little old ladies my name and address and they cross me off the list. I do have to show it to get sudafed because of places filled with meth-snorfling toe-heads, and to get booze because I’m so girlish IT IS SO TRUE.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I stand corrected. And covered in vomit.

I’ll be in my bunk.

Also, my cat just pushed the mute button on my keyboard. What does she have against Sam Seder?!

That selfish tool never dangled string in the course of his show.

 
 

You all will probably laugh at me, but I had no idea that Glenn Greenwald is gay. I’ve purchased and read one of his books, frequently read his Salon posts, and I guess I just never even thought about it. My gaydar must be completely non-functional.

Trust Surber to be all hep to who’s gay, though. He has such a keen interest; indeed, it seems to be one of the main topics occupying his alleged “thought” processes during his waking hours, and I’m betting a lot of his sleeping hours as well.

 
 

With the leader of a prominent evangelical group.

I know this is so three days ago, but:

Evangelising the prominent leader.

 
 

I don’t have to show my ID to vote, I just tell the sweet little old ladies my name and address and they cross me off the list.

I have to do that and show my ID.

That selfish tool never dangled string in the course of his show.

OK, that made me laugh…but I also feel like I have to make a “dangled string” joke. Seems a little insulting to Sam, B^4.

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

Seeing as how Ross only does the sexing in order to make babies, that means we’d be seeing the offspring of those two at some point.

New, new worst ending.

 
 

So it’s like “Reasonable Conservative” or “Progressive Democrat” or “not clinically-fucking insane conservative blogger” or “non-whorish D-KW’s mom” … ?
There’s a few actually progressive Democrats. they just have a hard time winning elections. Dennis Kucinich and Russ Feingold are good examples.

 
 

You all will probably laugh at me, but I had no idea that Glenn Greenwald is gay.

He actually only recently pinged my gaydar. But I guess it’s confirmed today? By Tintin and…Don Surber?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I have scientifically proven that we will reach peak wingnut exactly 7.3 minutes after the Planet Killer Meteor strikes.

Ah, yes, the Planet Killer Meteor that wingnuts think it would be immoral to defend against.

 
 

tigris said,

March 8, 2011 at 21:39

…, and to get booze because I’m so girlish IT IS SO TRUE.

My name is tigris and I cannot lie…
~

 
 

I do have to show it to get sudafed because of places filled with meth-snorfling toe-heads

I avoided buying Sudafed for YEARS because of that, until one day I had a cold…now Big Brother has me.

 
 

I’ve never had to show ID to vote, either. My experience is the same as Tigris’s. I give my name, the venerable ladies who I’m sure voted with the first batch of women voters slowly find me on their printout, mark me off, and give me my ballot. Hell, I thought it was illegal to ask a voter for ID, because it disenfranchises people who don’t drive and don’t carry a state-issued ID. I thought they could ask for your voter registration card, though, although I’ve never had to show mine.

 
 

Which raises the question: If we had the same people in the Legislature then that we have today, would they have banned sugar?

Sugar is possibly the most legislated substance in American history.

 
 

Once I was carded after what appeared to be two 17-year-olds didn’t. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or irritated at their preferential treatment.

 
 

Best Charlie Sheen criticism ever.
http://beijing.globaltimes.cn/two-cents/opinion/2011-03/630731.html
“The fact that Sheen continues to embarrass himself unabated, becoming even a hero to many, points to the vast differences in cultures.

His employers are unhappy that he was distracted with prostitutes and drugs, and didn’t show up to work on time. Why not take a tip from the Chinese business community, and make visits to a KTV parlor part of Sheen’s workday?

And instead of epic parties at his home with porn stars, why not keep Sheen occupied with business banquets?

Sheen goes on television and boasts that he has two girlfriends, who both sleep in the same bedroom. Is he too poor to set up his wives and mistresses in different houses?

In Chinese society, these problems are dealt with delicately and privately. Sheen is like a typical Westerner throwing fuel on the fire with each interview and tweet. It is almost as if he feels no shame and is loving the attention.”

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

You all will probably laugh at me, but I had no idea that Glenn Greenwald is gay.

Glenn Greenwald is gay?!?!?!?

I have to confess that I have absolutely no gaydar whatsoever. For me to be able to figure out if a guy were gay, he’d actually have to have a cock in his mouth.

One of my best friends is from Italy, and he told me one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard:

“My girlfriend told me, ‘When I first met you, I thought you were gay, but then I realized it was because you are European. Then I looked closer and I noticed that you are wrinkled… your shoes are scuffed, your shirts are never pressed- no gay man would leave the house looking like you!”

 
 

It is almost as if he feels no shame and is loving the attention.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

 
 

He actually only recently pinged my gaydar. But I guess it’s confirmed today? By Tintin and…Don Surber?

Well, I’ll take Tintin’s word for it. I’m not surprised, but I’m not not-surprised, either. The farthest down that road my imagination ever went re Glenn is to think, he’s a nice-looking young fella, which I guess may mean I’m getting old.

 
 

“My girlfriend told me, ‘When I first met you, I thought you were gay, but then I realized it was because you are European. Then I looked closer and I noticed that you are wrinkled… your shoes are scuffed, your shirts are never pressed- no gay man would leave the house looking like you!”

 
 

For me to be able to figure out if a guy were gay, he’d actually have to have a cock in his mouth.

Coq au Van?

(BTW, that made me snort. You double up on your funny pills today or what?)

 
 

It is almost as if he feels no shame and is loving the attention.

Do ya think so???

 
 

I can’t believe you guys didn’t know Glenn Greenwald is gay!

 
 

Sorry, meant to affix to quote:

I am a slovenly gay man, which probably explains my irresistable appeal to women. But from time to time I do meet a straight man who has the audacity to press his shirts and not crave cock. Or maybe they aren’t really straight, it could just be their way of turning down slovenly gay men.

 
 

Just in case smoeone out there is having a really shitty day I will post this link and make it even shittier. You’re welcome.

 
 

“Sheen goes on television and boasts that he has two girlfriends, who both sleep in the same bedroom. Is he too poor to set up his wives and mistresses in different houses?”

Fucking threesomes. How do they work?

 
 

I thought they could ask for your voter registration card, though, although I’ve never had to show mine.

I think here you can bring in a bill or something with your name and address on it, like a utility bill, but I’ve never been asked for anything.

For me to be able to figure out if a guy were gay, he’d actually have to have a cock in his mouth.

Well, if he says he’s gay and talks about his boyfriend I for one am willing to take his word for it.

 
 

For me to be able to figure out if a guy were gay, he’d actually have to have a his cock in his my mouth.

Fiqqs’d because moar amusing to meeee.

 
 

Fucking threesomes. How do they work?

They don’t always live up to expectations.

 
 

@ Whale Chowder, er that’s not what them fancy people talk about in them cocktail parties

 
 

I can’t believe you guys didn’t know Glenn Greenwald is gay!

This is starting to feel like an episode of Will & Grace, or maybe Seinfeld. I swear I heard T & U’s line in Elaine’s voice. But I took quite a bit of Benadryl this morning, so that might explain it. I like Benadryl; you can’t make meth with it, so you don’t have to show ID.

I should go do something constructive.

 
 

Just in case smoeone out there is having a really shitty day I will post this link and make it even shittier. You’re welcome.

I was perusing that while listening to recordings of children talk about being hungry. I’m gonna go blow my brains out now.

 
 

I’m not gay, but the guy with his cock in my mouth is.

 
 

Coq au Van?

BTW, in case anyone didn’t know, I know that’s not how spell Coq au Vin. I was making a joke about a gay dude named “Van.” It just wasn’t that funny. I just want everyone to know I’m unfunny and SMART.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

gay flip flops
I should mention that the preferred term is “versatile.”

 
 

“I think here you can bring in a bill or something with your name and address on it, like a utility bill, but I’ve never been asked for anything.

My son voted for the first time this past November, and if I recall correctly he needed his ID in order to register, and that was all. Without an ID I believe he would have needed a bill with his address and another registered voter to attest. We have same-day poll site registration in Iowa, so we just walked in, he registered and voted.

 
 

I swear I heard T & U’s line in Elaine’s voice.

She doesn’t have a southern accent.

Not that I have one, either.

 
 

Hah, bite me! Could’ve voted by mail, but just couldn’t get around to it, so now I have to walk to the polling place (BEFORE 2000! Sheesh!) & hand in my ballot, w/ no ID check or anything.

California remains free!!

 
 

They either need to make voting day some sort of holiday or just do it by mail. I think mail is the best.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“Sheen goes on television and boasts that he has two girlfriends, who both sleep in the same bedroom. Is he too poor to set up his wives and mistresses in different houses?”

Chuck would have a real problem with China’s official “one hooker per household” policy.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“My girlfriend told me, ‘When I first met you, I thought you were gay, but then I realized it was because you are European. Then I looked closer and I noticed that you are wrinkled… your shoes are scuffed, your shirts are never pressed- no gay man would leave the house looking like you!”

Old but still relevant.

 
 

We have really easy to do absentee voting in Iowa, but some of my best childhood memories are of going to vote with my mom and grandparents, so I get all sentimental and traditional about it and go do it in person. If they ever get online voting, though, I shall succumb to the easy way, I’m sure.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Oregon is 100% vote by mail. It works out extremely well. One can register to vote at the DMV. They even started a pilot program to register online which has been, by all accounts, working very well with zero fraudulent activity. But then, no one in OR would even think about being so rude.

 
 

For about every third link posted here at SN my work computer tells me I can’t go there because it is tasteless and offensive. I’m trying to decide if this reflects more on the posters here or on my IT department censors.

 
 

New York cabbies join the Muslim caliphate. Effect on future Thomas Freedman columns remain in doubt.
http://nation.foxnews.com/culture/2011/03/07/muslim-cabbie-arrested-ramming-passengers-manhattan via
http://nomoremister.blogspot.com/

Warning: Fox link contains comments NSF(Brains)

 
 

I believe Washington state is a vote-by-mail only state now, too, isn’t it?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Coq au Van?

I know you really meant Van Jones’ socialist package being rammed down the throats of real, God-fearing American PATRIOTS!!!

 
 

Thread Bear, have you considered that perhaps your IT department is part of the Muslim caliphate?

 
 

I had to give the Walgreens clerk my driver’s license in order to buy Sudaphed, or rather the Walgreens generic. She swiped in in the computer! Then I had to sign the computer signature-box promising not to do anything illegal, ever, or else I’d be fined $250,000. It was a little scary. But I got a BIG box of those wonderful red pills, and I’m going to need them all for this cold. Awful cold-in-the-head.

Surber getting stupider? Easy. There just isn’t any bottom to the “stupid hole”. Stupid is so dense, so incredibly heavy, you see- the hole sinks thru multiple –parallel or string– Universes- thousands of ’em. And then ends up in Ours again.

 
 

or on my IT department censors.

I’m actually offended that you even thought this was a possibility.

I have dreamt of online voting since 1996…which is probably why I never had a boyfriend.

 
 

Just in case smoeone out there is having a really shitty day I will post this link and make it even shittier. You’re welcome.

If I wanted to top* you I’d link the comments.

*subtle, no?

 
 

Walfed!

 
 

That was to KWillow. I also get the Waldryl because I am a cheapskate.

 
 

“I know you really meant Van Jones’ socialist package being rammed down the throats of real, God-fearing American PATRIOTS!!!”

I gotta feeling a lot of THOSE Murkans would secretly very much enjoy having the cock of a handsome black dude shoved down their throats.

 
 

Did anyone notice one of the ads on Surber’s site? It was from “The Consumer Healthcare Products Association” and it calls on viewers to “Tell West Virginia Politicians: Keep our allergy and cold medicines Rx free.”

Anyone want to guess how many consumers belong to the “Consumer Healthcare Products Association”?

These shills use consumer the way Communists use democratic and republic.

 
 

I buy Waldryl, too. Why anyone would by brand when they can get it cheaper, I don’t know.

Except for Walgreen’s tampons. And deodorant. I don’t know why, but both are always harder than rocks and don’t work worth a damn.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Awful cold-in-the-head.

You got a neti pot? If not, it’ll change your life!

 
 

I do have to show it to get sudafed because of places filled with meth-snorfling toe-heads

So do I, and I cannot abide the over-the-counter ‘replacement’ drug. It causes me to bleed out of facial orifice(s).

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

These shills use consumer the way Communists use democratic and republic.

It’s just a fancy word for “user”.

 
 

You got a neti pot? If not, it’ll change your life!

Nasopure is easier to use, but not nearly as hippy-ish.

 
 

Actually, I’m pretty sure that to get large amounts of sugar at the time you did need permission. And we have huge tariffs on sugar even now.

Still, that doesn’t make his point any better.

Why doesn’t he support giving out IDs at voter registration?

(Personally, phenylephrine does squat for me, so I end up buying the biggest legal box of Sudafed they let me have and it sits in my bathroom.)

 
 

OMG, B^4 is a shill for the neti pot industry! And he pushes those little saline packets on little kids. Monster!

 
 

facial orifice(s)

Orifii?

 
 

I believe Washington state is a vote-by-mail only state now, too, isn’t it?

That’s chosen county-by-county although I think most are now vote-by-mail. I personally kind of miss trooping down to the local school to vote. It also actually takes more discipline for me to get the ballot into the mail on time because LAZY.

 
 

Hell, I thought it was illegal to ask a voter for ID

It is/was, at least here. Crony-humping Branstad and the Kent Sorenson Child Abuser are going to try and push voter ID through, though.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

OMG, B^4 is a shill for the neti pot industry!

Curses, my plot has been exposed!

And he pushes those little saline packets on little kids. Monster!

Boob implants?

 
 

that’s not what them fancy people talk about in them cocktail parties

Evidently I’ve been misinformed. Besides, I was always told it’s impolite to talk with your mouth full.

 
 

Phenylephrine no better than a placebo

Nasopure is easier to use, but not nearly as hippy-ish.

Is a bulb syringe with DIY saline more or less hippyish?

 
 

Boob implants?

I looked it up in the Guiness book. The biggest natural boobs ever? Surber and Douthat!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I looked it up in the Guiness book. The biggest natural boobs ever? Surber and Douthat!

Bravo!

 
 

We’re postponing our tornado drill. Again. Because it’s raining.

Could somebody please explain this to me?

 
 

Is a bulb syringe with DIY saline more or less hippyish?

If you bought it at Walmart, it’s about equal. But if you are re-using an infant’s syringe bulb, then it’s definitely more.

 
 

One can register to vote at the DMV.
Iowa can/could, too, until Governer Brains-Dead gets his mitts on it. They’re all about advancing the disenfranchisement here.

Lost a post, somewhere, too. No links. FYQP.

 
 

We’re postponing our tornado drill. Again. Because it’s raining.

Could somebody please explain this to me?

Well yeah, I mean what are the odds of having a tornado while it’s raining. That would be unrealistic.

Or is tornado drill one of those homemade sex toy things?

 
 

i believe surbers inability to use spellcheck has revealed a secret: I prefer whiskey muyself.

note the use of spanish…even though i know ‘muy’ means ‘much’ or ‘more’ in espanol, it think it’s a very telling slip of the thumb on the keyboard…

methinks surber is really a messican…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Cute + mutant = cutant

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

We’re postponing our tornado drill. Again. Because it’s raining.

Could somebody please explain this to me?

Somebody wants you all dead?

 
 

My first reading was that T+U’s Tomato drill had been cancelled and was a little disappointed, for her. Imagine the unused bins of Tomatoes still sadly in their safety wrappings.

 
 

Phenylephrine no better than a placebo

Well, them damn ivory tower elitists didn’t measure volume of nasal-blood-gushing. against placebo or pseudoepedrine. Phenylephrine beats all comers in that metric. SUCK IT, LIBS!

(also, FYWP didn’t lost a comment, I couldn’t find it temporarily).

 
 

It also actually takes more discipline for me to get the ballot into the mail on time because LAZY.

My problem exactly. Buncha pieces of election paper get under the pile of non-election paper & next thing you know it’s Tues. Good thing I’d been planning on foraging today anyhow.

 
 

Here in Los Angeles, in order to vote all we have to do is prove we can’t speak Spanish.

 
 

We’re postponing our tornado drill. Again. Because it’s raining.

the town i work in still has teh city wide one even if it is blizzarding…first wednesday of the month! we just ignore it…

Somebody wants you all dead?

could be some truth to this…we just received the ‘tornado drill rules’ for the campus i work…our building (once again) is not made mention of. this happens for fire drills too…and our coffee maker hasn’t worked in months despite multiple work orders…

 
 

Once I was carded after what appeared to be two 17-year-olds didn’t.

You didn’t appear to be 34, obviously.

 
 

There has been discussion in days past about the merits of a Libya no-fly zone. Mostly between Chris and “That Fenwick Guy” but also others. I have been on the fence myself. Newt has weighed in which should give all real humans pause.
http://thinkprogress.org/2011/03/08/gingrich-bomb-libya-this-evening/
GINGRICH: Exercise a no-fly zone this evening. … It’s also an ideological problem. The United States doesn’t need anybody’s permission. We don’t need to have NATO, who frankly, won’t bring much to the fight. We don’t need to have the United Nations. All we have to say is that we think that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable and that we’re intervening. And we don’t have to send troops. All we have to do is suppress his air force, which we could do in minutes.”

 
 

our building (once again) is not made mention of. this happens for fire drills too…and our coffee maker hasn’t worked in months despite multiple work orders…

You may be working in another dimension/parallel universe/alternate reality.

 
 

I don’t think drills work as well on tomatoes as hammers.

 
 

could be some truth to this…we just received the ‘tornado drill rules’ for the campus i work…our building (once again) is not made mention of. this happens for fire drills too…and our coffee maker hasn’t worked in months despite multiple work orders…

We must work on the same campus!

You didn’t appear to be 34, obviously.

Ha! Actually, I took that to mean that I appear 16. Only my hair and wardrobe are better now.

 
 

All we have to say is that we think that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable because we reserve this option for ourselves alone.

And Israel, too. Also.
~

 
 

You may be working in another dimension/parallel universe/alternate reality.

this could splain a lot, actually…

 
 

The United States doesn’t need anybody’s permission. We don’t need to have NATO, who frankly, won’t bring much to the fight. We don’t need to have the United Nations.

No, we don’t. But one generally treats allies as, ohhhh, I dunno, ALLIES? If you just go rushing in like some dumbshit bully time after time, eventually they’re not going to want to be your friends anymore.

Also, JESUS CHRIST these people’s inability to learn from the past is breathtaking.

 
 

Also, JESUS CHRIST these people’s inability to learn from the past is breathtaking.
it’s not inability, it’s stubborn refusal.

 
 

I would participate in a tomato drill.

I would also participate in a kitten parade.

 
 

I don’t think drills work as well on tomatoes as hammers.

When the the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a tomato.

 
 

If I may:

Also, JESUS CHRIST these people’s inability to learn from the past is breathtaking.

 
 

Also, JESUS CHRIST these people’s inability to learn from the past is breathtaking.

The past is prolong!

 
 

The United States doesn’t need anybody’s permission.

Good luck flying those planes from home, if no-one wants to provide airspace or landing facilities or port facilities for aircraft carriers.

 
 

When the the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a tomato.

When the only tool you have is a potato masher, everything looks like a OW MY NOSE.

 
 

these people’s inability to learn from the past is breathtaking.

That’s a feature, in their eyes.

 
 

That’s blasphemy to me, Thread Bear. I love tomatoes in a way that borders on perverted.

 
 

Awl we are saying, is give peas a chance.
~

 
 

That’s a feature, in their eyes.

Yeah, my thought is that douchebags like Newt don’t really give a fuck about what actually works and are just trying to appeal to the base. Which is disgusting.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

That’s blasphemy to me, Thread Bear. I love tomatoes in a way that borders on perverted.

Then get in the truck with the other tomato pervs.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I love tomatoes in a way that borders on perverted.

Being a non-PENISed person, you can’t drill them like I do.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Yeah, my thought is that douchebags like Newt don’t really give a fuck about what actually works and are just trying to appeal to the base. Which is disgusting.

Base, even!

 
 

shorter newt: lettuce squash the libbys-ans…

 
 

Hmmm…I guess gays do as a decent ‘Jew’ substitute—look too much like normal people for comfort, for the most part, men and women sometimes not fitting in well with Merkin sex-rôles, drink babies’ blood….

I’m on this tack because ‘gay intelligence analyst’ reminds me of an old Jewish saying mentioned recently, probably here or on alicublog: ‘A Gentile thief is a thief; a Jewish thief is Jew.’

 
 

I love tomatoes in a way that borders on perverted.

That seems…inconvenient.

 
 

I love tomatoes in a way that borders on perverted.

I’m in the George Carlin camp on this subject.

(the tomato bit is about 5 minutes in)

 
 

We don’t need to have the United Nations. All we have to say is that we think that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable and that we’re intervening.

They’ll welcome us as Libya raiders!

 
 

You didn’t appear to be 34, obviously.

I am sure that T&U would pass Rule 34.

 
 

We don’t need to have the United Nations. All we have to say is that we think that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable and that we think it would be more efficient if that job was outsourced.

We don’t need to have the United Nations. All we have to say is that we think that your own citizens are hiding WMDs in their rectums, this is unacceptable and that we’re intervening.

 
 

Do you welcome your vegetable overlords.
I can’t believe that I almost forgot about THIS!

 
 

Keep making jokes about tomatoes. You’ll all be enslaved–and I’ll be the Tomato Queen!! Treat me well and I may show you mercy.

 
 

I may show you mercy.

Never mind that. Will you show us your tomatoes?

 
 

New thread, ninnies!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Want to see my tomato drill?

 
 

When the Tomato was first brought to Yerp by teh founding fathers, it was called Pomme d’Amour which means Apple of Love. Thus they are a gay vegetable and real men don’t eat ’em. Drilling them is different

 
 

A woman in charge of a military prison? She’s totally got to be gay.

 
 

would have thought that the U.S. perhaps had a few more secrets than could be found in the Wikileaks cables such as, say, our nuclear launch codes

Oooh I know that one, it’s the same as the combination on my luggage.

(Not a joke).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permissive_Action_Link

For the Minuteman ICBM force, the US Air Force’s Strategic Air Command worried that in times of need the codes would not be available, so they quietly decided to set them to 00000000; checking this combination was even present on the launch checklists.

 
 

Because them coloreds is always trying to vote illegally and that is why there are so many in the Senate.

 
 

I’m with the retard on the cold medicine. Anyone who has had a stuffy nose in the last five years is with the retard on the cold medicine.

 
 

Why should you not get carded to vote?

Seriously? Surberstan allows you to just walk up and vote without registering?

And oh by the way, why not force gun owners to license AND register all their guns AND their bullets, by his logic?

 
 

You guys , honestly. I have a shitty day . Am about to cry and I look at this shit and think….. “what the fuck am I worried about?” Thank You.

 
 

Sorry for the emotionyness.

 
 

what is the gay ingredient in beefcake?
i still want to know more about the FlipFlop Agenda©

 
 

Okay Surber is a moran.

But implying that everyone in WV lives in trailers means that you are a stupid little prick yourself.

Do better.

 
 

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