Feb
10

Tintin Goes To Tampa Bay




Posted at 0:25 by Tintin
ABOVE: Mr. Delgaudio Practices Pirate Skills

Eugene Delgaudio, a Republican official in Virginia’s Loudon County, best known for claiming that gay TSA agents were getting their jollies patting down male passengers’ junk, is sending out a letter to his constituents claiming that radical homosexual pirates have invaded Tampa Bay, Florida, and are roaming the streets. My bags are packed and I’m hopping the first flight to Tampa with my copy of “How To Talk Like A Pirate” safely tucked under my arm. What fun! I am particularly looking forward to some of the novel uses one might make of a parrot during a gay encounter with a pirate.

January 29th is the 106th annual Gasparilla Pirate Fest in Tampa Bay, Florida. By all accounts it is quite some event, opening with a real live pirate ship docking at port, and literally hundreds of people in pirate costumes “invade” the city in groups called “krewes” The event is a full two weeks of seemingly family oriented events

When I think of family-oriented events, real live pirates are pretty much the first things that pop into my mind. Nothing brings a family together like kidnapping, robbery on the high seas, plank-walking, rum-drinking, some fitful sodomy, and, of course, the occasional lash.

But in recent years Radical Homosexuals have been intent on turning it into a two week alcohol fueled display of public debauchery. Organizers started by purposefully making the parade route zig-zag so no one could call it a “straight parade.”

A little known fact about me is that I used to be more heterosexual than Charlie Sheen on coke in the Plaza Hotel until that fateful summer when I did a zig-zag parade route and wound up in the arms of a well-endowed and insatiable bullfighter before the parade was even close to finished. Once you’ve done the bolero with a torero you want no more-o the senora, as they say, more or less, in Seville.

Word is that Radical Homosexuals have infiltrated as event organizers to promote homosexual events that are designed to prey upon unsuspecting college students by enticing them to join their “krewes” and help build parade floats in exchange for free alcohol. When the young men are sufficiently intoxicated, homosexuals dressed as pirates whisk them away to God knows where to take advantage of them sexually.

Now, I was buying into the whole gay pirate invasion story right until this last bit. I have more than a little experience in the art of gay seduction and I can testify that plying some guy with free booze, even with a little float building thrown in for good measure, is not going to lead a perfectly straight college kid to consent to being whisked off for a little game of hide-the-sausage with a pirate or anyone else. The only person who might give credence to this notion is someone who has limped home after a late night session of buggery and tried to blame it on the Captain Morgan’s. We’re looking at you, Eugene

There are even countless stories of any number of immoral sex act being performed by open homosexuals – some even in broad daylight during the event.

Apparently, sex acts performed by non-open homosexuals are a-okay, which, of course, conveniently gives a pass to those thousands of closeted gay Republican politicians. We’re looking at you, Eugene.

As long as the Radical Homosexuals run free in our streets, they will continue to spread their debauchery and corrupt our culture.

Now would be the time for me to work in a butt pirate joke, but I’m just not coming up with one here.

883 Comments »

  1. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:31

    RRRRRRRRRRRRR Mary

  2. manwith7talents said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:31

    I can’t think of any butt pirate jokes either.

  3. nolo said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:32

    One mother complained her three year old had witnessed a man performing oral sex on a Jack Sparrow look alike in her front yard.

    FTW.

  4. manwith7talents said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:32

    It’ll come to me.

  5. manwith7talents said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:33

    Hah! come. There it is.

  6. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:33

    When I think of family-oriented events, real live pirates are pretty much the first things that pop into my mind. Nothing brings a family together like kidnapping, robbery on the high seas, plank-walking, rum-drinking, some fitful sodomy, and, of course, the occasional lash.

    ARRRRRRRR I like the cut of your jib.*. ARRRRRRRRR

    Hell yes it is.

  7. manwith7talents said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:34

    The whole Republican party is a seething cauldron of repressed homosexuality.

  8. manwith7talents said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:35

    Men men men men there’s nobody here but men…

  9. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:37

    a man performing oral sex on a Jack Sparrow look alike

    Look-alike?

  10. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:37

    Because straight people would NEVER get horrifically drunk and preform debauchery in Florida….

  11. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:38

    Organizers started by purposefully making the parade route zig-zag so no one could call it a “straight parade.”

    Uh, that could be the and a bottle of rum provision…

    One mother complained her three year old had witnessed a man performing oral sex on a Jack Sparrow look alike in her front yard.

    Ah, “Talk Like a Pirate with a Cock in Your Mouth” day…

  12. mingo said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:39

    I had multiple episodes of lulz reading this.

    One thing that I found very shocking, however, was that the Radical Homosexuals were turning this pirate party into some sort of display that was alcohol-fueled. That really is going too far – I’m sure not a drop was imbibed previous to the RH takeover.

  13. low sodium hunchback said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:39

    Jimmy Buffett- Somalia- Buttsecks!!!

  14. Judas Peckerwood said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:40

    First they came for the prates, and I did not speak out because I could not speak like a pirate…

  15. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:41

    plying some guy with free booze, even with a little float building thrown in for good measure, is not going to lead a perfectly straight college kid to consent to being whisked off for a little game of hide-the-sausage with a pirate or anyone else.

    This belongs here.

  16. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:41

    You know, there’s a “pegleg” joke in here somewhere.

    A little help!

  17. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:44

    Maybe I can just pull that “pegleg” joke out of my ass.

  18. Meanderthal said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:44

    they will continue to spread their debauchery

    That’s not the only thing they’ll spread, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

  19. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:45

    “Whisk them away to god knows where”
    Never never land I guess
    Great find Tintin

  20. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:46

    Pegleg? I hardly know Leg! Yours was better.

  21. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:46

    “You know, there’s a “pegleg” joke in here somewhere.”

    The PEGleg is in Eugene’s fundament, I believe.

  22. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:47

    As long as the Radical Homosexuals run free in our streets, they will continue to spread their debauchery and corrupt our culture.

    Someone is desperately hoping to be tied up and shat on.

  23. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:48

    “You know, there’s a “pegleg” joke in here somewhere.”

    You’re on shaky footing there.

  24. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:49

    Pegging isn’t my specialty. You’ll have to ask my girlfriend.

  25. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:49

    “As long as the Radical Homosexuals run free in our streets, they will continue to spread their debauchery and corrupt our culture.”

    OK…not seeing a downside. As far as I’m concerned most towns could use a big dose of dick-in-the-ass.

  26. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:50

    You know, there’s a “pegleg” joke in here somewhere.
    That’s a matter of a pinion

  27. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:50

    If the look alike really really looked like Johnny D I would totally smoke that pole. I’m just saying.

  28. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:52

    Hey, the beads they’re handing out are bigger than the ones they hand out on Mardi Gras!

  29. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:52

    That’s a matter of a pinion

    Wood you please avoid the puns? Thank yew.

  30. mingo said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:52

    So – is he wanting to see Radical Homosexuals run in chains through the streets??? because – hawt! (to him , anyway).

  31. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:53

    You’re on shaky footing there.

    A limp joke to be sure.

  32. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:53

    I’m giving you all astern warning about nautical puns.

  33. mingo said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:53


    You’re on shaky footing there.

    actually, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

  34. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:55

    I’m giving you all astern warning about nautical puns.

    I always do as I’m mast.

  35. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:55

    “Hey, the beads they’re handing out are bigger than the ones they hand out on Mardi Gras!”.

    Oh help me. Are they loops or simple strings of beads?

  36. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:56

    Arrrrrrrgh

  37. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:57

    “So – is he wanting to see Radical Homosexuals run in chains through the streets?”

    He hasn’t got a clew.

  38. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:57

    A limp joke to be sure.

    Limpness is an obstacle to jolly rogering.

  39. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:58

    The event is a full two weeks of seemingly family oriented events

    Family friendly, it’s ARRR rated

    Couldn’t help myself.

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:59

    What do you call an openly gay pirate?

    Lackbeard

  41. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 0:59

    Limpness is an obstacle to jolly rogering.

    I had a good luff over that one.

  42. Alicia Morgan said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:00

    Gasparilla is all about the upper-crust of Tampa society – the ‘Krewes’ – making the most of the opportunity to let their freak flag fly under the guise of a ‘parade’.

  43. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:00

    “Wood you please avoid the puns?”

    It was a fluke.

  44. El Cid said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:01

    The capitalization of Radical Homosexuals suggests that it’s one of the krewes, or perhaps a local soccer team, or a hair salon, something meriting a proper name. Maybe it’s one of the pirate ships showing up.

  45. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:02

    seemingly family oriented events

    I’m tolerant of most orientations, but that’s one I’ve nev’ ahoyed of.

  46. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:04

    I thole you so. Also POOP (deck).

  47. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:04

    Limpness is an obstacle to jolly rogering.
    I had a good luff over that one.

    You missed an ‘f’.

  48. The Frito Pundito said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:06

    If that three-year-old knows what oral sex, I’d say he’s halfway there already.

  49. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:10

    If that three-year-old knows what oral sex is

    I blame Clinton.

  50. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:13

    Also, w/o leaving the boat, I’m going to guess all of this Euge’s flap-doodle is based on one gay outfit getting one float in this bacchanal.

  51. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:13

    So, what’s the over-under on the number of ‘batin breaks Eugene took while writing this?

  52. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:14

    So, what’s the over-under on the number of ‘batin breaks Eugene took while writing this?

    He was being fellated by a Smee look-alike while typing it.

  53. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:15

    “If that three-year-old knows what oral sex, I’d say he’s halfway there already.”

    If that three year old knows about oral sex he’s probably Catholic. And just the right height to be there already.

  54. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:16

    True story: I thought oral sex had something to do with phones until I was…too old for this story not to be embarrassing.

    True story 2: I once called a salon and requested a blow job…as opposed to a “blow out”.

    Yes, I know ive told that one before.

  55. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:20

    Yes, no puns from the pirate canon!!
    I would not be rating for them.

  56. paleotectonics said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:22

    The pirate ship Radical Homosexual, flying the Skull and Crossed Bones…

    Wheeeee!

  57. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:23

    Because straight people would NEVER get horrifically drunk and preform debauchery in Florida….

    Y’know what Tampa’s most well-known feature is to the travelling businesfolk of America.

    Strip clubs. Hundreds and hundreds of strip clubs.

  58. Jennifer said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:24

    Apparently no one told Eugene that all those pirates came ashore from <A HREF = "http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&rlz=1R2GGLL_en&q=miles+cowperthwaite&rlz=1R2GGLL_en&aq=0&aqi=g3g-m1g-o1&aql=&oq=miles+cowper&pbx=1&fp=517884ad4e853a0b"The Raging Queen, a ship full of manly men, following the manly pursuit of sailing the high seas, calling on exotic ports o’ call such as…Key West, San Francisco, and the Greek Isles…

  59. paleotectonics said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:25

    And closet-boydio still has to compete with Batshit Krazy Shelley B hiding behind bushes photographing MN Pride when she was a state senatrix…

  60. Jennifer said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:26

    Goddamn it.

    Apparently no one told Eugene that all those pirates came ashore from The Raging Queen, a ship full of manly men, following the manly pursuit of sailing the high seas, calling on exotic ports o’call such as…Key West, San Francisco, and the Greek Isles…

  61. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:26

    “Strip clubs. Hundreds and hundreds of strip clubs”

    That’s wholesome family-oriented entertainment.

  62. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:29

    Holy ship! Eugene’s “Inqusiton” website is choc full o looniness me bucko! He has a rant up called “Be Ye Transformed”, WHICH DOES NOT HAVE OPTIMUS PRIME IN IT, that reckons we should all dress in the biblical manner and not ask our Pastors about it since they are all “worldly” too.
    Burqa wearing is just wrong though

  63. paleotectonics said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:30

    vs,

    Family is what you make of it. If you wish to consider your coworkers and a flannel wearing man named Estrogen with a suspicious bulge on his left side and a seemingly inexhaustable well of hot-n-cold running hookers to be family, who am I to judge.

    C’est la poisson!

  64. Dr. BDH said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:30

    Eugene should also avoid Tampa in July, because that’s when they celebrate Gaybor Days in historic downtown Ybor. If Tampa gets any more gay they’ll be having Gay Tamping Days come fall!

  65. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:33

    I’d say he’s halfway there already.

    Who, Eugene?

    I’d say he’s been there a while.

  66. paleotectonics said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:35

    “Be Ye Transformed”,

    This was simply a moar popular name than Optimus Prime in the glory ages of America, when the most popular boy’s name would be something along the lines of “He-Shalt-Be-Toasted-On-Racks-Of-Hot-Nails-Shouldst-He-Spilt-His-Man-Gravey-Inappropriately”.

    Course I am not gonna check out that mango, smells from here, and there are black crawly things on it.

  67. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:39

    Seaman Staines, time for a sounding.

    As dogs are my witness, I had no idea of the S&M connotations of this term until this moment, my original intent was to make a joke about “plumbing the depths”.

  68. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:43

    hot-n-cold running hookers

    I need a better plumber. All my hookers run cold.

  69. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:43

    Seaman Staines, is that rooster ready for me to put bread and herbs inside it yet?

  70. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:43

    If Tampa gets any more gay they’ll be having Gay Tamping Days come fall!

    Arr, they be tamping som’thin, mate. Be on guard for belaying pins and ramrods aft!

    I spent several years of my youth living in Tampa Bay, more than 30 years ago, and it had a pretty large gay community even then.

  71. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:47

    I am reminded of the traditional pirate song about paying the teenage cabin boy for acts of sodomy in the hard-of-hearing first mate’s quarters by plying him with Hostess brand snack cakes, and if that didn’t work, stuffing his colon full of nickels. The entire lyric escapes me, but I remember the refrain:

    “Fifteen, men, on a deaf man’s chest;
    Yo: Ho-Hos and a rattle of bum.”

    I believe this is accurate.

  72. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:47

    Gay Tampon Days seems…unlikely. Unless you’re referring to Lilith Fair.

  73. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:48

    All my hookers run cold.

    Mine too. It’s the freezer.

  74. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:50

    Using teh Google, I find that all instances of the phrase “forty fathoms of phallus” on the internet were typed by moi.

    I can’t have been the only person to have read this!

  75. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:50

    If it be Cap’n Hooker ye be lookin’ for. Take the stairs out the back, yaaaaaaaaaaaaar

  76. CATS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:51

    All my hookers run cold.

    All your hookers are belong to us!

  77. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:52

    If Tampa gets any more gay they’ll be having Gay Tamping Days come fall!

    Heh heh… Tamp ya.

  78. Jennifer said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:53

    Daily life aboard The Raging Queen:

    “It having been determined by my benefactor that a term of service at sea would make a man, I accordingly left Pinckley Hall in the company of Captain Ned, and put out from Bristol aboard his ship The Raging Queen.

    Captain Ned, I learned from my shipmates, was a very manly, virile, manful person, and a firm believer in strict discipline, corporal punishment, and nude apartment wrestling. How truly strict he was, I learned on our first day out of port, when out First Mate called all hands on deck for an important annoucement.”

    [ dissolve onto scenes aboard The Raging Queen ]

    [ First Mate Spunk rings the deck bell ]

    First Mate Spunk: Alright, please, everybody, please! Welcome aboard The Raging Queen! Now, of course, I can’t possibly introduce everybody, so you’re just going to have to wear your little name tags. And if that’s the worst thing you’ll wear on this voyage, you’re lucky. Now, before I introduce Captain Ned, there’s some quiche over here, some salad, and some banana bread in the bowl, and there should be a brie around, if someone hasn’t eaten it. And now, here is our own Captain Ned!

    [ Captain Ned steps up ]

    Captain Ned: Thank you, Mr. Spunk. Gentlemen, we have on board a young man whose name is Miles Cowperthwaite! And I have promised his guardian to teach him the man’s life at sea! To show him man’s ports, such as Key West and San Fransisco! I expect him to be treated manfully! Well, Miles, have you anything to say?

    Miles Cowperthwaite: [ stsnds, cheerful ] Well.. I’m very grateful for this opportunity, Captain Ned! Up ’til now, my life has been the most degrading, pathetic, soul-destroying, humiliating, awful grovel..

    Captain Ned: [ interrupting ] That’s enough, Miles.. [ Miles sits ] Now, men, I run a mans’ ship. I will run it in a manful and masculine way! I will tolerate no men under my command who act in such a way so as to discredit their manhood and manliness! Do I make myself clear?

    First Mate Spunk: Three cheer for Captain Ned!

  79. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:55

    “I find that all instances of the phrase “forty fathoms of phallus” on the internet were typed by moi.”
    Nothing to Crowe about

  80. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 1:57

    Jennifer FTW, I believe. Have a free internet.

  81. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:00

    ur doin it rong

  82. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:06

    Let’s not forget the classics:

    Sunset and evening star,
    And one clear call for me!
    And may there be no moaning of the bar,
    When I put out to sea,

    But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
    Too full for sound and foam,
    When that which drew from out the boundless deep
    Turns again home.

    Twilight and evening bell,
    And after that the dark!
    And may there be no sadness of farewell,
    When I embark;

    For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
    The flood may bear me far,
    I hope to see my Pilot face to face
    When I have crossed the bar.

    Fuck me straight up the drainpipe, Charlie
    I’ll grip the pretzel jar
    Ride me like a rumbling Harley
    When I have cruised the bar.

    Cruising the Bar
    -Alfred Lord Tennyson

  83. Matt T. said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:07

    Hope this guy never comes to New Orleans. We’ve got people here who dress as pirates 365 days a year. There’s even a group of “vampire pirates”. Undoubtedly, more than few are gay as a treefull of monkeys on helium.

    On further thought, I hope this guy never comes to New Orleans anyway. We’re full up on asshole as it is. And though I view Mardi Gras with approaching dread ’cause I’ll have to cook for all those bastards, I do like seeing the drunken revelry. I like seeing people have fun, even if said fun results in projectile vomiting and streets ankle-deep in plastic cups, beer bottles and Mardi Gras beads. Invariably, though, there will be that group of folks who stand right about St. Ann and Bourbon – what’s called “The Rainbow Line” – with signs that say Jesus hates everyone who isn’t a straight, white, conservative Christian male.

    I always want to ask them if they’ve ever had someone stop and say, “You know, you’re right. I’m going to stop having fun right this instant and be a humorless, miserable asshole.” Also, the only boobies I ever see on Bourbon – not that I’m looking, mind – is generally some drunken young woman flashing these assholes, who’re desperately trying not to drool. It’s pretty funny.

  84. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:10

    Matt, I like the cut of your jib. You know how to spin a good yarn.

  85. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:12

    Good Lord, Spengler. We must have learnt the bowdlerised version when I was at Sunday School. I do like the reference to the pretzel jar.

  86. Matt T. said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:14

    vs,

    I come from a long line of people who are completely full of bullshit.

  87. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:16

    “I come from a long line of people who are completely full of bullshit.”

    I think if youre a good storyteller from the South you kinda have to be.

  88. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:18

    Matt, that right there is PEOTRY. Maybe not Tennyson, but demned fine, sir, demned fine.

    Midshipman Hornblower! Another one of these.

  89. Horatio Nelson said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:21

    Kiss me Hardy!

  90. Horatio Nelson said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:24

    “Midshipman Hornblower!”

    Ooooh, Ioan Gruffudd!

    *wipes drool from chin*

    YES, DROOL I WISH it was a VR.

  91. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:24

    Obvious nymfail.

  92. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:26

    And here I was, thinking that “Ioan Gruffudd” was an onomatopoetic sound-effect.

  93. Nelson's Column said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:27

    Obvious veiled reference.

  94. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:29

    a suspicious bulge on his left side

    Gun or colostomy bag?

  95. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:29

    BTW…to whomever Zap Rowsdowered the last thread…you’ve made me a very a happy woman. I appreciate your sacrifice. I hope its the final one.

  96. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:30

    It was Loan Grufford who shot Kennedy, when the gay pirates forced him to. So DKW’s mum says.

  97. UKBristolDave said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:32

    How do pirates stay fit? Arrrrgh, jim lad!

  98. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:33

    Gun or colostomy bag?

    Worst game show EVER!

  99. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:37

    It was Loan Grufford who shot Kennedy, when the gay pirates forced him to. So DKW’s mum says.

    I heard that he killed Kennedy in the conservatory with a candlestick.

    Hey, what was that movie about Joan Grufford? You know, “No wire hangers” and all that?

  100. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:37

    I do like the reference to the pretzel jar.

    Wait, wait, which one am I supposed to open, the pickle jar or the pretzel jar?

  101. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:38

    Wait, wait, which one am I supposed to open, the pickle jar or the pretzel jar?

    Whichever one is on the bottom shelf.

  102. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:40

    homosexuals dressed as pirates whisk them away to God knows where to take advantage of them sexually.

    Dear Mr Delgaudio,
    Those were actually CIA in deep cover, they prefer the term ‘rendition’ to ‘whisking away’, and ‘God knows where’ is actually Bagram Air Base.
    Hope this helps.

  103. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:40

    Pirate Lolita reprise
    ~

  104. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:40

    Honestly I’m shocked it was a woman

  105. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:42

    Pirate Lolita reprise

    *claps like an excited toddler* Lurve it!

  106. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:42

    CIA in deep

    HELLO!

  107. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:43

    Honestly I’m shocked it was a woman

    He should have stuck to vampire movies.

  108. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:51

    Zap Rowsdower was in the previous thread? CANADIAN SUPERHERO!!!

  109. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:54

    I had no idea Saruman was such a hit with the ladeez.

  110. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    February 10, 2011 at 2:55

    “I come from a long line of people who are completely full of bullshit.”

    I come from a long line of people who call it blarney, and I join the others in congratulating you on your skill with it.

  111. UKBristolDave said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:03

    Can’t resist another….

    So then professor, what’s another word for pirate treasure?
    I say booty!

    Helmet tip to Pharcyde…unless my memory of ’90s hip-hop has failed me

  112. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:07

    From a previous wish fulfillment fantasy mailer, in which Mr. Delgaudio attempts to slip a VPR past the assholes that make up his constituency:

    if we don’t act now, the Homosexual Lobby will ram it right down our throats

  113. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:08

    I think if youre a good storyteller from the South you kinda have to be.

    My grandfather always told us that he had lost his arm and leg in the army when an alligator attacked his company as they practiced maneuvers in the Georgia swamps. I did not quite believe this, but I did suspect that he may be CAPTAIN HOOK!

  114. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:11

    There’s even a group of “vampire pirates”.

    Do they sparkle?

  115. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:15

    My grampa always told me that my bellybutton was “where the Yankee shot ya.”

    Speaking of navels

  116. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:17

    Speaking of navels…

    And grampas, for that matter. But vs already beat you to it (I’d hate to see her cry again).

  117. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:21

    Just before he threatens the faithful about throats being crammed full of meaty goodness, Eugene warns

    If I don’t raise the funds, weak-kneed moderates in Congress will assume this in a one-sided battle – that “everyone” is in favor of the Gay Bill of Special Rights

    Yes, folks he’s just hit you up for $100 each. You don’t need Johnny Rotten to tell you that you’ve been cheated.
    Also “weak-kneed” Throats crammed. You join the dots.

  118. Maddog said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:23

    > BTW…to whomever Zap Rowsdowered the last thread…you’ve made me a very a happy woman. I appreciate your sacrifice. I hope its the final one.

    Awwww, just one more sacrifice?

    “Next week, see them battle Acadian Werewolves on Cape Breton! That’s on ‘Zap and Troy, The Legendary Journeys’!”

    As a Cape Bretoner who grew up in Troy … I damn near choked to death on my beer.

    -K

  119. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:28

    Let’s see. What should we title this image…

    How about Midnight Cowboy?

  120. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:30

    Hm… how come alt and target attributes don’t work on anchor tags here? Someone last thread was able to put alt text on a link.

    Hm. Howddedoodat?

  121. kg said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:36

    sub told me to use bbcode extra for that i think

  122. Shell Goddamnit said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:38

    I swear to god, one of these days I’ll get in an actual comment about the actual fucking post before yall are on to rye puns and suchlike.

    Or maybe not…I just move too slow these days.

    “As long as the Radical Homosexuals run free in our streets, they will continue to spread their debauchery and corrupt our culture.”

    Here’s what I wanna know: what exactly does this asshole think is the OPTION here? How exactly does he propose to stop those miserable RHs, huh? I want to hear the creative method he’s invented for preventing existing people from taking part in – oops, corrupting – our miserable culture.

    Running free in our streets…instead of in our jails or cemeteries, I guess. I dunno, maybe he hasn’t really thought this through, or maybe he’s a murderous bastard, hard to tell.

  123. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:41

    use title = “” instead,

    <a href = “http://penis.org” title = “Beat THIS DK-W”>

  124. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:42

    ,,,until that fateful summer when I did a zig-zag parade route and wound up in the arms of a well-endowed and insatiable bullfighter before the parade was even close to finished. Once you’ve done the bolero with a torero you want no more-o the senora, as they say, more or less, in Seville.

    I love you Tintin. Uh, totes heterosexually, of course. Love. You.

  125. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:45

    I love you too, Tintin. Sexually.

  126. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:46

    Oh, Tintin –

    Sexually.

  127. Arolpin said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:53

    @UKBristolDave–I think it’s the Beastie Boys you’re thinking of. Now I’m going to have Professor Booty running through my brain for the next 24 hours. It’s possible that they stole the sample from the Pharcyde, but I’m pretty sure that Paul’s Boutique predated any Pharcyde album.

    Back to the topic at hand though, if I weren’t already happily married with kids I’d have to at least pretend to turn gay just to attend all the fabulous parties that fabulous people seem to have *and* to piss off the humorless penis-wrinkles like Eugene.

  128. Zap Rowsdower said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:54

    So then professor, what’s another word for pirate treasure?
    I say booty!

    Helmet tip to Pharcyde…unless my memory of ’90s hip-hop has failed me

    Beasties.

  129. Zap Rowsdower said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:56

    Dammit!

    (But it was Check Your Head, not Paul’s Boutique.)

    /trivia

  130. tensor said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:57

    Once you’ve done the bolero with a torero you want no more-o the senora, as they say, more or less, in Seville.

    Once you’ve had penis, you’ll never want Venus.

    (Substitute Jesus for the closet-case Xtians.)

  131. Major Kong said,

    February 10, 2011 at 3:58

    I dunno, maybe he hasn’t really thought this through, or maybe he’s a murderous bastard, hard to tell.

    I’m betting on murderous bastard.

  132. Arolpin said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:01

    @Zap Rowsdower–argggh! Damn iPod/iPhone ruined my knowledge of albums to the point that I make stupid mistakes like that. In that case it could be possible that the sample came from a Pharcyde song, but I doubt it. I blame the Radical Homosexual Agenda, especially since “shuffle” is probably code for some depraved act!

  133. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:01

    I dunno, maybe he hasn’t really thought this through, or maybe he’s a murderous bastard, hard to tell.

    These are not mutually exclusive.

  134. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:03

    “Awwww, just one more sacrifice?”

    Zap any man who can make me laugh that much can sacrifice all night long. BTW, does your funny-talking woods friend have throat polyps?

  135. Zap Rowsdower said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:04

    I blame the Radical Homosexual Agenda, especially since “shuffle” is probably code for some depraved act!

    I completely understand. The Radical Homosexual Agenda sometimes makes me forget to get my allergy shots.

  136. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:05

    “shuffle” is probably code for some depraved act!
    You have no idea

  137. Zap Rowsdower said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:06

    BTW, does your funny-talking woods friend have throat polyps?

    No. After realizing he peaked with Moonraker he hit the sauce pretty hard and it corroded his pipes.

  138. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:06

    Is it me or is it nigh impossible to tell the rantings of homophobic loons from the plot synopses for gay pornos?

  139. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:08

    Is it me or is it nigh impossible to tell the rantings of homophobic loons from the plot synopses for gay pornos?</i.

    Where else would they get their material?

  140. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:09

    what gay porno has a plot that would need a synopsis?

  141. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:09

    “I completely understand. The Radical Homosexual Agenda sometimes makes me forget to get my allergy shots.”

    Now I feel better about blaming homos for my sinus infection.

  142. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:10

    tag fail AND missing the second sentence. *sigh* You can fill it in for me.*

    *VBR

  143. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:10

    How exactly does he propose to stop those miserable RHs, huh?

    No, no, no. We’re not supposed to stop roaming the streets. If we’re all locked up or dead SmellGaudio can’t use us to scare the people who give him cash to tell them how scared they should be of RHs roaming the street.

  144. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:11

    “February 10, 2011 at 4:09

    what gay porno has a plot that would need a synopsis?”

    The kind that John Williams does the soundtrack for! It’s called ART, pedestrian.

  145. Maddog said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:12

    > Is it me or is it nigh impossible to tell the rantings of homophobic loons from the plot synopses for gay pornos?

    They see the gay porn and then, having no other experience to relate to, use that to spin their self-punishing rants ….

    -K

  146. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:12

    what gay porno has a plot that would need a synopsis?

    I can’t answer this question without sounding (among other things) REALLY OLD. So suffice it to say, get offa my lawn.

  147. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:16

    Whatever you do, do not think about butt pirates.

  148. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:24

    Teh gays made Eugene cry.
    Surprisingly this from another fundraising epic.

  149. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:25

    - Captain Smollett, Captain Smollett!
    Not now Young Jim!
    – But Captain Smollett!
    I have already told you not to disturb me when I am busy with Squire Trelawny.
    – Butt pirates!
    That’s quite enough Mister Hawkins. Trelawny and I are not engaged in buggery, this is very important naval work we are doing right now. With our pants off.

  150. g said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:28

    Psst. Don’t tell him about Mardi Gras! He’ll blow a gasket.

  151. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:41

    The Mahdi Gras? Are we talking about Muqtada al-Sadr? He’s just big-boned.

  152. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:42

    OT but hilarious

  153. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:42

    Pro-family citizens and churches in Tampa are horrified and unfortunately VASTLY outnumbered and overwhelmed by the popularity of the event.

    Shorter Delgaydio:
    We must crush this popular event enjoyed by the overwhelming majority in order to please a small group of people who want nothing to do with Gasparilla! For Freedom! And Democracy! And maybe Whiskey but definitely no Sexy!

  154. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:44

    Whiskey and sexy go hand in…hand.

  155. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 4:54

    “I come from a long line of people who are completely full of bullshit.”

    I come from a long line of people who call it blarney

    I come from a long line of dead people.

  156. Major Kong said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:00

    Psst. Don’t tell him about Mardi Gras! He’ll blow a gasket.

    Oh he’ll blow something all right.

  157. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:03

    I come from a long line of dead people.

    I come, therefore I am.

  158. rodertrudis said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:07

    “What are you so afraid of, Sam? They aren’t interested in you, get it.”
    “I ain’t afraid. I just don’t like ‘em.”
    “That doesn’t make any sense. You don’t even know who “they” are.”
    “Oh, I know who they are, allright, you can always tell them.”
    “How’s that, Sam, how can you always tell them?”
    “Well, for one thing, they talk funny. And they walk funny too.”
    “It sounds like you’re talking about ducks, Sam.”
    “Bullshit. I always know which ones is, you know, funny.”
    “Oh really? OK. Are there any in here right now, right now in this place?”
    “Damn right there are. They’re everywhere. Every fuckin where.”
    “Point one out to me then.”
    Sam looks around, hesitating a moment on a target across the room.
    “There’s one, right over there, wearing a yellow blazer.”
    “You’re sure, you’re sure he’s funny?”
    “Goddamnit, I said he’s one so he’s one.”
    “Sam, that’s Tommy Lasorda.”
    “Who?”
    “Tommy Lasorda. Manager of the Dodgers. You know, they were in town for a three game series. We swept them.”
    “No shit?”
    “Yeah, no shit.”
    “I’m gonna ask him for his autograph.”
    “Better not, Sam.”
    “Why the fuck not?”
    “Well, you know, ’cause he might have some weird shit on his hand, especially his writing hand, and then you’ll catch it, ’cause, you know, they carry shit.”
    “Really?”
    “Really.”
    “Fuck it. I don’t care. That’s goddamn Tommy Lasorda. I don’t care if he’s funny or not. I’ll be real careful not to touch him.”
    “What if he want’s to shake your hand?”
    “I’ll tell him it’s broke.”
    “Oh, that’l work: Hello Mr Lasorda, my hand is broke, but can I have your autograph?”
    “He probably ain’t really a queer. I could be wrong. I mean, he’s Tommy Lasorda, shit.”

  159. Smut Clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:23

    OT but hilarious

    I thought that story was toogoodtobetrue, but here’s a PDF of the original.

  160. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:28

    I thought that story was toogoodtobetrue, but here’s a PDF of the original.

    Nevertheless, the pigocalypse is coming.

  161. Cap'n Doctorb said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:39

    Yarr, I be shocked – shocked – t’foind that thar be drinkin’ in this pirate parrrrrade!

    Also, enough pornography should keep th’ men from resortin’ ta homoseckshuality. Fer about foive minnits, arrr.

  162. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:42

    You guys are on fucking FIRE tonight. I mean, just *flaming*.

  163. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 5:43

    But the cowaplypse is cancelled

  164. ex pat said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:23

    hell I may be moving back to Tampa!!!!

  165. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:34

    Wahingtonians: Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Donalde walks among you:

    Well, at least for now. I’m at the Henley Park Hotel in downtown D.C. I’m guessing it’s just about 5 minutes or so from the Marriott Wardman Park, the conference hotel. Robert Stacy McCain just tweeted.

  166. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:35

    a href = “http://penis.org” title = “Beat THIS DK-W”

    Ok, PupiMaxi, let’s try that:

    Popeye and the Butt Pirates

    Next question: what does WP recognize in place of &lt and &gt ?

  167. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:39

    ex pat, thirty years ago the fabulous hung out* in Treasure Island** bars. I’d hang out there cuz they’d let the underage me and my girl drink — as long as we brought weed.

    *VPR

    **VPR

    (you straighten ‘em out*)

  168. Wyatt Watts III said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:52

    Isn’t Eugene “Gasparilla” Delgaudio a contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race?

  169. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 6:59

    The prewar Popeye was the best.

  170. stackozone said,

    February 10, 2011 at 7:34

    “Dear Penthouse Forum: One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself…”

  171. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 10, 2011 at 8:26

    Ahrrr, sure wish I’d stumbled hereabouts several hours ago, when many ripe piratical fruitquips were hangin’ plump for the pickin’.

    Hot bath now, mateys.

  172. M. Bouffant said,

    February 10, 2011 at 8:28

    POOP!deck Pappy.

  173. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 9:42

    Next question: what does WP recognize in place of &lt and &gt ?

    & # 60 ;

    and

    & # 62 ;

    if I’m not mistaken.

    < here goes nuttin >

  174. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 9:43

    without the spaces, obviously.

  175. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 9:44

    And more POOP.

  176. The Variants said,

    February 10, 2011 at 9:57

    I left two comments at the end of the last thread.

    I had/have one more–a longish apologia–that WP has now refused seven times.

  177. John Revolta said,

    February 10, 2011 at 10:07

    Maybe it doesn’t feel that you need to apologize for anything.

  178. The Variants said,

    February 10, 2011 at 11:32

    Thanks John. But I think I do….

  179. The Variants said,

    February 10, 2011 at 11:43

    I was pretty well stunned by the comment.

    I wanted to address everyone and put time and thought into writing it. I hope that WP relents and allows me to post it in the last thread. I don’t want to disturb this one.

    (Which has been a blast to read, btw.)

  180. Chris Vosburg said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:37

    Word is that Radical Homosexuals have infiltrated as event organizers to promote homosexual events

    Word? What, Word On the Street? Huggy Bear told him?

  181. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:39

    You guys! I got my first troll! He even had the civility to write “feminist c*nts” instead of “feminist cunts”!

    Now I know that if my readership starts to decline, I just need to write ABORTIONABORTIONABORTIONABORTIONABORTION and they will come like a zombie for branes. (With apologies to zrm–there is no comparison, I know).

  182. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:40

    V, I went back and read the entire thread and I concur with WP. It’s best to just let it drop; you don’t need to apologize. If he was talking about the ‘your mom’ thing, that is.

    If not, then YHBT.

    And, as for aunts, I have an artificially hawt aunt in Seattle into S&M, B&D, B&B, D&D, R&B, C&W, whatever… She goes to Tijuana every other year to get her hawt reimplanted. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I downloaded a B&D vid and discovered her in it.

    She’s 53. Interested?

  183. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:41

    Damn. I was right.

    HAND.

  184. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:42

    Never mind, got confused by context and a lack of caffeine.

  185. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:44

    Also, Poop.

  186. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:53

    Wa[s]hingtonians: Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Donalde walks among you:

    The fact that EVERYONE comes here is both a blessing and a curse.

    Needless to say I will be avoiding all public restrooms until the last of these fucks slithers back into his or her respective hole.

    I’m guessing it’s just about 5 minutes or so from the Marriott Wardman Park, the conference hotel.

    Bahahahaha! Christ, the Wrong is strong in that one.

  187. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 14:58

    EVERYONE comes here

    VBR.

    DC is like a whorehose.

  188. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:00

    HOUSE. WhoreHOUSE.

    Dammit.

    &#60gulps coffee&#62

  189. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:01

    &#60 facepalm &#62

  190. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:02

    She’s 53. Interested?

    Perhaps she has a newsletter or website to which I can subscribe. Lemme try it on for size.

    Hey, last night I totes took yout aunt’s new Tijuana titties for a test drive and I have to say that the suspension is a little bit stiff.

  191. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:03

    Word is that Radical Homosexuals have infiltrated as event organizers to promote homosexual events

    Like that one time that I infiltrated a wedding and before anyone knew what was happening it was a GAY WEDDING.

  192. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:03

    In your defense, whorehose sounds pretty hawt.

  193. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:05

    You guys! I got my first troll!

    Commence aerial spraying. (On her blog, VS uses Ariel spraying.)

  194. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:08

    Wahingtonians: Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Donalde walks among you:

    Last year, I celebrated the far right convention next door by staying indoors and watching a slew of anti-Nazi movies (Inglorious Basterds, Valkyrie, The Last Crusade and an episode of Foyle’s War where the bad guys are a Mosleyite party inside the U.K).

    Thinking of doing the same thing this time around. Any suggestions? (Inglorious Basterds would be hard to top, me admits…)

  195. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:15

    whorehose

    As a kid, I was always confused by the juxtaposition of Black Canary’s girl-next-door persona and the fact that she’s walking around in the middle of winter wearing fishnets and a bathing suit.

  196. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:17

    Chris – try The Blues Brothers.

    “Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.”

    In your defense, whorehose sounds pretty hawt.

    For you, DKW, I recommend Bangkok.

  197. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:18

    Needless to say I will be avoiding all public restrooms until the last of these fucks slithers back into his or her respective hole.

    Last time they came by (for the GlennBeckathon on the mall), the DCist website reported a story about a few of them making a scene in a CVS or similar store about how high the prices were, and how he was sure they were being scammed because they were Wholesome Small-Town Folksy People. The manager eventually talked to them and confirmed to them that no, prices are just higher in DC, that’s what everyone pays, no really, nobody’s out to get you, you can relax.

    Injured Teabagger: “Well, that’s un-American.”
    Manager: “No, sir, that’s capitalism.”

  198. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:19

    Chris – try The Blues Brothers.

    Ohhh, I love that one. Saw it about the same time last year, too. Maybe I’ll watch it again.

  199. Open Cahoots said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:19

    I have an artificially hawt aunt in Seattle

    Do not put your aunt in the microwave

  200. rapier said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:19

    Sure, you all laugh but here are some pictures of last years event.

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lSk4AbYU4tY/S1xASTKYwII/AAAAAAAABXo/R1SvPJjHqR0/s1600-h/ZapComix03-4-b03.jpg

  201. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:22

    Any suggestions?

    You could play some sort of WWII themed shoot-em-up videogame.

    Say, what’s this?

  202. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:24

    Damnit, you just got the Blues Brothers stuck in my head. If only I had the movie soundtrack with me!

    Wait, what’s this? I do? Oh, happy day!

    Hey folks, here’s a story ’bout Minnie the Moocher,
    She was a low down hoochie coocher.
    She was the roughtest toughest frail,
    But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale

    Hi dee hi dee hi dee hi…

  203. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:25

    And didn’t Helen Slater fight Nazis in Supergirl? I could be imagining it.

    I’d watch Helen Slater in a miniskirt again, nazis or no.

    Also, Popeye.

  204. Arky said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:33

    DC is like a whorehose.

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets whorehosed again!

  205. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:35

    We used to cover Soul Man in my jazz band in HS. I wanted She Caught the Katy but the trumpet section was the conductor’s pet. TBBM is one of my top five movies of all time. It’s comfort food for the soul.

  206. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:40

    Rapier, we want the rest of that story!

  207. bughunter said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:49

    Also, Chris: Almost every Indiana Jones movie. But I only like the first one, really.

  208. WemiZemi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 15:50

    http://www.henrymakow.com/confirmedrockefeller_plan_to_g.html
    http://www.almartinraw.com/subscription/column191.html
    http://www.henrymakow.com/homo_international_controls_ea.html
    http://www.abidingtruth.com/pfrc/books/pinkswastika/index.php

  209. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:03

    Teenage Anti-Nazi Pirates

  210. Captain Enema said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:31

    Bear down Boys!

  211. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:44

    Commence aerial spraying. (On her blog, VS uses Ariel spraying.)

    heh

  212. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:50

    I don’t understand what the Little Mermaid has to do with this…

  213. lobbey mrk II said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:51

    The capitalization of Radical Homosexuals suggests that it’s one of the krewes, or perhaps a local soccer team, or a hair salon, something meriting a proper name. Maybe it’s one of the pirate ships showing up.

    way way way behind time… but it would make a great football (soccer) team name… but who would they play:

    Olberman Cup, 5th Round

    Obanista Statists 3 Radical Homosexuals 0
    Euro Abortionists 0 Communist Furries 1
    Global Warming Leftists 2 Alinskyist Black Panthers 1
    Sharia Marxists v Fascist Socialists, match postponed…

  214. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 16:53

    Thinking of doing the same thing this time around. Any suggestions? (Inglorious Basterds would be hard to top, me admits…)

    Chris,
    Check out “Went The Day Well?” which is a low-budget WWII conspiracy thriller, made during the war, to remind Britons to trust nobody. I’d recommend others but I forgot the criteria. And now I can’t find your post upthread.

  215. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:00

    I don’t understand what the Little Mermaid has to do with this…

    Ariel

  216. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:07

    Post-Apocalyptic Unicorns would be a good band name.

  217. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:10

    Post-Apocalyptic Unicorns would be a good band name.

    True. Unfortunately, an awkward book.

  218. 77south said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:13

    True. Unfortunately, an awkward book.
    it would be a better book if it were about the band.

  219. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:14

    Or maybe a children’s book: Sparkles, the Post-Apocalyptic Unicorn

  220. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:25

    Sparkles, the Radioactive Post-Apocalyptic Unicorn

  221. 77south said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:26

    It would be a fantastic book just for the joy of making small children try to read “Apocalyptic” out loud.

  222. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:34

    Some geek fellow was always first.

  223. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 17:47

    Some geek fellow was always first.

    A little known fact: Eve beat Adam to the apple because he was playing with his iPad.

    IOW, an Apple in the hand is worth two on the tree.

  224. Major Kong said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:00

    Any suggestions? (Inglorious Basterds would be hard to top, me admits…)

    See if you can find “It Happened Here”. It’s a British film from the 1960s that depicts a hypothetical England under Nazi occupation.

  225. 77south said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:09

    Gaahh! stupid co workers. If you didn’t want two different sales totals, why did you ask for the same numbers twice? Or, If my totals were supposed to match some report, why didn’t you tell me that before you asked me to run the query instead of 10 days after, when I have run a couple dozen queries in the meantime and forgotten anything about your problems?

  226. bbkf said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:11

    Gaaah! stupid job…i have not been able to get on here to check ANYTHING out…dang…i hope you are all having fun…but then again, now that i have broken the seal (so to speak) i will probably be back again and again and again…

  227. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:14

    I’d recommend others but I forgot the criteria. And now I can’t find your post upthread.

    Oh, just movies with Nazi villains. “The ODESSA File,” which I just found on Hulu, was the only one on my list as of this morning along with probably one of the Indy movies, since I own the trilogy.

    “It Happened Here” I’ve heard of, but never seen, that sounds like a good one. “Went the Day Well,” I’d never heard of, so thanks for the heads-up. (And of course the Blues Brothers Movie is worth checking out at any time).

  228. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:18

    See if you can find “It Happened Here”. It’s a British film from the 1960s that depicts a hypothetical England under Nazi occupation.

    Whatever you do, don’t get Fatherland, the 1994 made-for-TV film with the same basic premise. Absolute laziest piece-of-shit revisionist history until Jo-bag came along.

  229. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:27

    If anyone wants to compose Sarah Palin: The Opera, the libretto has already been written.

    But when it comes to, and David, perhaps what it is that you’re suggesting in the question, is should the GOP, should conservatives not reach out to others, not participate in events or forums that perhaps arising within those forums are issues that maybe we don’t personally agree with? And I say no.

  230. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 18:33

    Whatever you do, don’t get Fatherland, the 1994 made-for-TV film with the same basic premise.

    The scenes with the Department of Fatherland Security weren’t bad.

  231. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:05

    Hi.

    I guess it will come as a shock to 0 people that I love “The Little Mermaid.”

  232. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:06

    More from Sarah

    We want to be able to trust those who are screaming for democracy there in Egypt, that it is a true sincere desire for freedoms. And the challenge that we have though, is how do we verify what it is that we are being told, what it is that the American public is being fed via media, via the protestors, via the government there in Egypt in order for us to really have some sound information to make wise decisions on what our position is?

    Doesn’t she know this is what we have Fox News for? Duh!

  233. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:08

    a shock to 0 people

    0?

    %^D !

    %===> O !!

    The percent sign is quite versatile. Testicles and/or my eyes.

  234. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:10

    My last post, from top to bottom:

    VS

    Me.

    D-KW’s mother and an unnamed bystander.

  235. smedley said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:14

    “the libretto has already been written.”

    I think the music has already been written, as well:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5yc3yRjEe4

  236. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:14

    Chris, one can never see “The Third Man” too many times. It’s about bad Europeans, really but I bet they were Nazis also.

  237. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:14

    “Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. ”

    He must have had his pants down… maybe he was taking a leak.

  238. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:15

    What does the second mean?

  239. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:15

    I know this has been done before. Including by me. Still,

    We want to be able to trust those who are screaming for democracy there in Egypt, that it is a true sincere desire for freedoms.

    Yes, I’m sure every one of these protestors is really a cunningly disguised mole seeking oppression rather than freedom.

    More to the point, who the fuck asked you? You “want to be able to trust”? How the fuck is your trust even relevant? This isn’t your country or your government. A lot more people throughout the world are concerned with the Tea Party Movement in the U.S. than they are with demonstrations in Egypt, yet none of these people are arrogant enough to assert that they somehow have a say, or should, in U.S. elections.

    And once again, interesting how those rugged individualists who think “everyone for himself” is the definition of freedom somehow think they should get a say in how every human being who’s not part of their in-group should run their lives.

  240. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:18

    I think that Del boy was writing about his fave gay porn fantasy but, you know, his audience? So he just put in “Then I ran away. Send money”

  241. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:25

    As long as the Radical Homosexuals run free in our streets, they will continue to spread their debauchery and corrupt our culture.

    Eugene longs for the days when it’s safe for Mainstream Homosexuals to run free in our streets.

  242. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:27

    I think the music has already been written, as well:

    That does have the right mix of pathos and comedy.

  243. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:28

    the libretto has already been written.

    I was thinking libratto would be more appropriate, but it still has lib in there so maybe bratto would work.

  244. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:32

    I think the music has already been written, as well:
    This should be in there somewhere.

  245. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:32

    Check out this Fox focus group of Iowa Republicans

    Wow, are they dumb. Even Frank Luntz sounds a little concerned at times.

  246. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:33

    “Then I ran away. Send money”

    Rent boys don’t (heh heh) come cheap.

  247. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:34

    Can I request a mulligan?

    Need a boy to lift your luggage?
    Bleg about some homo-thuggage!

  248. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:38

    Check out this Fox focus group of Iowa Republicans

    HAH!! A group of Fox News watchers are complaining that the President is misinformed. That may be the funniest thig I’ve heard all week.

  249. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:42

    HAH!! A group of Fox News watchers are complaining that the President is misinformed. That may be the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.

    I love the woman who complains that he gives “textbook answers”. What does that even mean? Too factual?

  250. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:43

    A funny Thig

    I only watched a few minutes of a Fox News clip and now I’m having touble speling corrrectly.

  251. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:46

    A funny Thig

    I assumed nasal congestion.

  252. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:47

    “I only watched a few minutes of a Fox News clip and now I’m having touble speling corrrectly.”

    This is what Fox does to people.

  253. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:48

    This should be in there somewhere.

    The Republican Primary. Also.

  254. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:48

    I love the woman who complains that he gives “textbook answers”. What does that even mean? Too factual?

    She’s trying to say he’s just reciting something he read in a textbook and has no experience of himself (which is basically what she herself does if you substitute “Glenn Beck on television” for “textbook.”)

    Which reminds me. If anyone’s curious, irony died sometime during my junior year of college, when my fundie former roommate declared Darwinists to be idiots because they just blindly followed what was written down in some old book. (Actual almost verbatim quote).

  255. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:49

    I think the music has already been written, as well:

    or perhaps

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_BWF1YBFKw&feature=related

  256. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:51

    This is what Fox does to people.

    Yes, it seems that I am no longer able to give textbook answers.

    Also, where do you even find a textbook on dealing with Egyptian revolutions?
    And how do you manage to give a textbook answer with O’Rielly interupting you at every fifth word?

  257. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:52

    Chris, that’s precious! Bless his fundie heart.

  258. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:52

    Oh Juses. From my inbox today:

    365 ways to drive a liberal crazy

    #40: Oreos vs. Panthers

    Start a rumor:
    The arrest of Henry Louis Gates in Cambridge, Massachusetts, was in fact part of a vicious turf war among African American Studies academics who are split into two rival gangs: Oreos and Panthers. The man who called the police when Gates was trying to get into his own home was none other than black radical academic Cornel West, hoping to start a gang war to liven things up in the ivory (isn’t that prejudiced?) tower.

    You keep it classy, Human Events.

  259. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:54

    This is what Fox does to people.

    This is your brain on Fox!

  260. smedley said,

    February 10, 2011 at 19:55

    Here’s what $arah would say she wants for her theme music: “Oh, fer sure somethin’ by an American, Bach or Beethoven or maybe that Amadeus fella.”

  261. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:00

    The Republican Primary. Also.

    Great, now I am picturing Sarah, Michelle Bachmann and Christine O’Donnell chasing Mitt Romney on speeded up film. John Mcain plays the silly old guy.

  262. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:04

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

  263. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:05

    Another funny thig.

  264. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:07

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

    Ah, yes. That’s the loathsome “MRA.”

    Hopefully they won’t follow you back to your lair. They are creepazoids.

  265. DAS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:07

    When the news about “a Congressman resigned after he sent a topless picture of himself to someone who contacted from Craigs’-List” broke, I figured the Congresscritter was a Democrat (turned out to be a GOoPer, though). Why?

    Because sending a partially nekked picture of yourself is way too tame for a real GOoPer. Reading things like Eugene Delgaudio’s paranoid screed about “open homosexuals” always makes a person figure that GOoPers have, shall we say, far more interesting fantasy lives than we Dems do.

  266. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:07

    Yes, I’m sure every one of these protestors is really a cunningly disguised mole seeking oppression rather than freedom.Yes, I’m sure every one of these protestors is really a cunningly disguised mole seeking oppression rather than freedom.

    I wonder if the right is ok with Suleiman taking over – or is he just pretending to be the former torture czar and the handpicked choice of the U.S., Israel, and Mubarak?

  267. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:07

    Also your brain on Fox.

  268. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:08

    Because sending a partially nekked picture of yourself is way too tame for a real GOoPer.

    Plus, as I said upthread, I’m SHOCKED he was sending it to woman.

  269. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:09

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

    I fully support this movement and I hope he convinces millions to join him in his boycott!

    That’ll leave more for me.

  270. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:14

    I wonder if the right is ok with Suleiman taking over

    The right has no idea what they’re OK with. Their role right now is limited to figuring out how they can credit Bush, blame Obama, or both. And, probably for a few of the movement’s policy wonks and analysts, thanking God it’s not their party up there having to make the decisions.

    Sadly, a Suleiman takeover probably would be welcomed by most Western governments, and by the Egyptian military too.

  271. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:17

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

    Sarah Piper Palin won’t return his calls.

  272. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:19

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

    Not enough people!

    That’s got to be a Poe… the prose makes Pastor Swank’s screeds read like Graham Greene.

    American women are constantly in chemicals. Chewing bubble gum constantly (aspartame, which causes temporary retardation). The makeup. They are always doing diet things for extra doses of aspartame.

    Huh?

    They use too much birth control and it’s fucking up their vagina

    Whoa, their vagina? Does he think that, much like the three Graeae shared one eye and one tooth, that the millions of American women share one vagina? I mean, WuhThuhFuh?

  273. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:21

    millions of American women share one vagina

    I learn something new every time I come to S,N!

  274. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:22

    Obama is speaking on Mubarak stepping down now: http://www.youtube.com/aljazeeraenglish?feature=ticker

  275. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:22

    I read the first page of the site expecting to angry…but it was so fucking DUMB the only thing I could muster up was amusement.

  276. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:22

    Fucking up the vagina is WRONG WRONG WRONG.

  277. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:23

    Fucking up the vagina is WRONG WRONG WRONG.

    Fucking up on the down stroke.

  278. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:24

    They use too much birth control and it’s fucking up their vagina

    Actually, the shocking thing is that the author uses the correct forms of it’s and (though the verb/pronoun agreement is verkackte) their.

    This leads me to believe that this particular entry might be a Poe, like Christwire.

  279. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:24

    Fucking up the vagina is WRONG WRONG WRONG.

    What are you? Some kind of Radical Homosexual?

  280. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:24

    The muslims who are fighting the American army mainly just don’t want the feminist western culture to come to their countries also, which is why they are fighting against the western powers. They don’t want their women to also be turned into prostitutes.

    If these stupid American bitch feminists want equal rights, they should also go to the front lines and risk their lives. But no, they’d rather just send the men out to die for their “equal rights” while they sit at home in Starbucks, and cheating on their boyfriends who are over there fighting.

  281. Andy said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:25

    Who hurt you, sir? Who hurt you?!

    B**4 just beat me to the comment I was about to make: that site has to be a parody. (Doesn’t it?) At least it reads like one, which of course is no guarantee…

  282. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:25

    I never knew that Starbucks was a residence.

  283. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:26

    Sorry, my comment was:

    How can any man compete with the TRENTA?

    FYWP premature release.

  284. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:27

    I want to know what “women are always in chemicals” means.

  285. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:29

    You don’t have your own Starbucks? Poor, deprived BBBB

  286. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:29

    American women are constantly in chemicals. Chewing bubble gum constantly (aspartame, which causes temporary retardation). The makeup. They are always doing diet things for extra doses of aspartame.

    It reads kinda like Chriswell… “the incidents, the places…”

  287. Andy said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:29

    It means they’re all drugged-out zombies, is what it means.(According to the headline.)

  288. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:29

    I want to know what “women are always in chemicals” means.

    I may need to meet one of these woman-type persons.

  289. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:30

    like Christwire.

    Speaking of Christwire.

  290. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:30

    I want to know what “women are always in chemicals” means.

    He doesn’t believe your dewy freshness is natural.

  291. Joan Rivers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:32

    “He doesn’t believe your dewy freshness is natural.”

    That bastard!

  292. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:32

    He doesn’t believe your dewy freshness is natural.

    He doesn’t believe that your fresh dewiness is natural, either.

    Gotta jet, genti belli, gonna do some eagle watching before hitting a job site.

  293. Joan Rivers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:33

    Have fun, B^4.

  294. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:35

    Uh, genta belle.

    Ciao!

  295. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:35

    btw, this site was trolling Pandagon, so they may or may not be a parody site.

  296. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:36

    I want to know what “women are always in chemicals” means.

    It is called the PERIODic table.

  297. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:37

    It is called the PERIODic table.

    So…models are Unobtainium?

  298. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:37

    If these stupid American bitch feminists want equal rights, they should also go to the front lines and risk their lives. But no, they’d rather just send the men out to die for their “equal rights” while they sit at home in Starbucks, and cheating on their boyfriends who are over there fighting.

    I’m sure that’s why they fought for the right to hold combat positions in the military, and I’m sure all the people who resist the idea are secretly feminist moles.

    Oddly enough, the women who believe it’s their man’s place to go die for them while they get to stay at home tend to be conservative housewives. The same kind of women often make it virtually impossible for their husbands to hang out with female Army buddies once they get home. But yeah, feminist bitches, if you’d just join the military then they’d totally respect you. Or something.

  299. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:38

    I want to know what “women are always in chemicals” means.

    To be fair, the only women that he’s ever had any experience with are in formaldehyde.

  300. Lindsay Bluth said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:39

    I have that exact shirt.

  301. Quaker in a Basement said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:39

    in recent years Radical Homosexuals have been intent on turning it into a two week alcohol fueled display of public debauchery

    Thanks, Radical Homosexuals!

  302. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:43

    “So…models are Unobtainium”

    It’s my marriage that makes me unobtainable, not my great beauty. *

    *I am, of course, kidding

  303. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:45

    Hahahahahahah. He has posts by Andrew, Tony, Anthony, Gary, Bob, Bobby, Buddy, Patrick, Tom, Jim, Sam, Brad, and Steve. All write, in suspiciously similar styles, that despite their absurdly good looks, love with and American woman is impossible. Then there is this guy:

    Angry black American man:

    There is WAY TOO many of the MISS THANG type type in america. Im sick of American women acting like they are the center of the universe an aint no man gonna say anything to them about anything.

    What, he couldn’t think of a single stereotypically black name?

  304. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:45

    “To be fair, the only women that he’s ever had any experience with are in formaldehyde.”

    I was picturing women dipping themselves in great vats of chemicals that glow an eerie green.

  305. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:46

    We must crush this popular event enjoyed by the overwhelming majority in order to please a small group of people who want nothing to do with Gasparilla! For Freedom! And Democracy! And maybe Whiskey but definitely no Sexy!

    Y’know, that did occur to me. Where’s this big-government Virginia asshole get off trying to tell us Floridians what we can or can not do with our Radical Homosexual Pirate gang-bangs?

    STATE’S RIGHTS, MOTHERFUCKER.

  306. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:47

    He has posts by Andrew, Tony, Anthony, Gary, Bob, Bobby, Buddy, Patrick, Tom, Jim, Sam, Brad, and Steve.

    That’s a lot of manly posting.*

    *Yeah, right.

  307. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:48

    So…models are Unobtainium?

    Apparently for those gentlemen every make is, too.

  308. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:49

    Im sick of American women acting like they are the center of the universe an aint no man gonna say anything to them about anything.

    I’m sympathetic to the extreme with this point of view. I feel the same way about far too many Americans, usually white American men who vote Republican and don’t “think” so much as “take it on faith” that they are the center of the universe.

  309. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:50

    “Steve”

    Gay.

  310. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:55

    “Steve”

    Gay.

    Dirk.

    Lance.

    Chet.

    Big Jim Slade.

    Lo Hung.

    Enormous Genitals.

  311. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:56

    This is my first mate, Jack Hoff; he has the nicest smile I ever came across.

  312. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:57

    “Enormous Genitals.”

    Worst. Porn name. Ever.

  313. smut clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:57

    women are always in chemicals

    I opened my breakfast packet of chemicals but there was NO WOMAN INSIDE. I have been cheated.

  314. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 20:58

    Worst. Porn name. Ever.

    The Boob Tube and Kentucky Fried Movie figured large* in my sexual development.

    *You know it.

  315. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:00

    “Steve”

    Gay.

    Damn! Can I still be hetero if I go by Stephen? Or my middle name, Ross? Or do I need to come up with a good nickname.

  316. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:00

    “I opened my breakfast packet of chemicals but there was NO WOMAN INSIDE. I have been cheated.”

    I laughed.

    Someone get smut a packet-sized woman STAT.

  317. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:01

    I opened my breakfast packet of chemicals but there was NO WOMAN INSIDE.

    TAKE the chemicals.

  318. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:03

    Or my middle name, Ross?

    Stephen is even gayer. Ross is transgender. Have you been marching in zigzag parades?

  319. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:05

    Oh, and if “Thread Bear” is your idea is a heterosexual nickname, you may as well start practicing with a cucumber. I’m speaking as a friend.

  320. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:07

    Can I still be hetero if I go by Stephen?

    Considering the amount of erotic dreams I have about Stephen Colbert, I’d say yes.

  321. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:08

    Considering the amount of erotic dreams I have about Stephen Colbert, I’d say yes.

    What sex are you?

  322. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:10

    What sex are you?

    The kind that has cooties.

  323. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:11

    Oh, and if “Thread Bear” is your idea is a heterosexual nickname, you may as well start practicing with a cucumber. I’m speaking as a friend.

    Lokks like I may need a nym change. So many choices! But which to choose?

  324. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:13

    The Boob Tube and Kentucky Fried Movie figured large* in my sexual development.

    You mean The Groove Tube?

    Mm hm.

  325. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:14

    Have you been marching in zigzag parades?

    I have only marched in one parade, it was actually quite square. I do sometimes march in a zigzag on my way home from the pub though.

  326. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:14

    I opened my breakfast packet of chemicals but there was NO WOMAN INSIDE. I have been cheated.

    Good Lord, you didn’t eat her before she was reconstituted did you?

  327. N__B said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:16

    The kind that has cooties.

    HEY EVERYBODY! VS HAS COOKIES!

    You mean The Groove Tube?

    Yes. Thanks.

  328. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:16

    Everyone click on Thread Bear’s link. *wipes tears of laughter*

    Good choices, indeed. Ironically, all extremely gay.

    “Dirk Hardchest”
    “Slam Squatthurst”
    “Smoke Manmuscle”

    I rest my case.

  329. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:17

    Rip Steakface!
    No! Smoke Manmuscle.
    Wait! Big McLargehuge!

    Oh, they’re all so good.

  330. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:18

    Good Lord, you didn’t eat her before she was reconstituted did you?

    omg, she’s gonna reconstitute inside smut!!! Growing and growing inside his insidey parts! Weird!

  331. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:18

    Good Lord, you didn’t eat her before she was reconstituted did you?

    American women are always sooooooo picky. “Eat me after I’m reconstituted , not before.” Sheeeesh. Maybe I will join the boycott!

  332. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:19

    HEY EVERYBODY! VS HAS COOKIES!

    I do not, but I do have muffins and ice cream. Well, one muffin and I ate half of it.*

    Veiled…oh, you finish it

  333. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:20

    My middle name isn’t really ‘Whitney,’ it’s ‘Peterpan,’ and I didn’t really write a zombie book. I write Star Trek slash fic. Original series only.

  334. Ghost Rounder said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:20

    My friend Bill was in the Navy
    And he sailed the briny seas
    Got so it would turn him on
    To see the other boys pee

    One night towards the bilge
    Down to the bottom of the ship
    Bill took over and spread my legs
    And put his stuff in there, I say

    It ain’t safe
    it ain’t safe to get laid
    I’m movin’ to Colorado
    ‘Cause only faggots get aids

    They’ll get you when you ain’t lookin’
    ‘Cause they know where you eat
    They go in there before you do
    And spread their deadly seed

    It ain’t safe
    it ain’t safe to get laid
    Goin’ to Colorado
    ‘Cause only faggots get aids

    Old Billy’s dead
    My wife is too
    They got my little sons
    Red and Blue

    And they’re coming after you next my friends
    I’m here to deliver the true Root message
    The true Root facts
    And these are three

    One of which is important; only faggots get aids
    You may think I’m joking
    You may think this thing is not true
    But none of these things are real
    None of these things can be said to you
    Only those who know, know
    And those who don’t, don’t

    So I’m telling you strait
    This is only meant for you
    I have a message from beyond
    From over where the skies are blue

    It ain’t safe
    it ain’t safe to get laid
    I’m movin’ to Colorado
    ‘Cause only faggots get aids

    They’ll spread you
    With their poison mayonaise
    Run for your life
    ‘Cause only faggots get aids

  335. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:20

    Kind of makes you think.

  336. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:22

    BTW, Mubarak is apparently going to make a speech and step down tonight.

  337. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:23

    Gristle McThornbody.

  338. Howlin Wolfe said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:23

    What do you call an openly gay pirate?

    I know! “Slack-reared”!

  339. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:23

    omg, she’s gonna reconstitute inside smut!!! Growing and growing inside his insidey parts! Weird!

    I hear it will make his boobs look FABULOUS, though.

    Sheeeesh. Maybe I will join the boycott!

    Well, I WAS going to say I thought “Thread Bear” was a cute nym but now HARRUMPH.

  340. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:25

    Black people! We gots ‘em! We SWEAR!

  341. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:28

    BTW, Mubarak is apparently going to make a speech and step down tonight.

    I know, I’ve been glued to Al-Jazeera!

  342. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:30

    From VS’s link: “What the Left will never understand about the Tea Party”

    “Why do you get more press than much larger groups?” No, I know the answer to that. Hmmm, oh I know: “How do you lot not drown in the rain?”

  343. vs said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:32

    “What the Left will never understand about the Tea Party”

    Are Hoverounds as fun as they look?

  344. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:37

    Black people! We gots ‘em! We SWEAR!

    Wow! The Tea Party Review. And only seven bucks, such a deal.

    Let’s see:

    A physician on Obamacare and what to do about it.

    Obviously get the poor physician off of Obamacare before he meets the death panel.

    Paine, de Tocqueville and Booker T. Washington

    Must be the pictorial

    The Year of the Black Conservative

    Ummmm, 3725?

    On war, life, civil liberties… Which way for the Tea Party?

    I’ll take war for 2000, Alex.

    What the Left will never understand about the Tea Party

    Pretty much everything.

    I just saved you all seven bucks.

  345. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:37

    Lulz.

    Between this and the Beck/Kristol dust up, We’re more than halfway to half a dozen accurate and honest statements coming out of conservatives this week.

    Will wonders never cease.

  346. smut clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:38

    Good Lord, you didn’t eat her before she was reconstituted did you?

    “Or we scun you down and put you in the little box.”
    “That little box?” cried Rod.
    “Scunned. You’ve scunned sheep, haven’t you?”

  347. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:40

    B**4 just beat me to the comment I was about to make: that site has to be a parody.

    I don’t think it is. I’ve seen a lot of similar shit on the web.

    The thing is, a lot of these guys are fairly educated, middle-class dudes who are all pissy because their wives refuse to be their servants and sex slaves. And/or they are fucking losers who can’t get dates and don’t want to face the fact that the problem is them.

  348. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:43

    I mean, I can dig up some men’s rights/anti-”misandry” shit if you want, guys, but I’m not sure you do…

  349. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:43

    And/or they are fucking losers who can’t get dates and don’t want to face the fact that the problem is them.
    Someone needs to post this over at their website.

  350. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:46

    I actually spent a couple of hours reading this one a few weeks ago.

  351. Chris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:52

    What the Left will never understand about the Tea Party

    This “how little you understand the power of the Tea Party!” thing is the rage with these guys.

    Here’s a thought; when threatened by a delusional sociopath or a group of such people, “understanding” said sociopaths would be a very low priority for the average person compared with, say, self-preservation. They’re right that I don’t fully understand their motives, or their deluded perception of their place in the world. I also don’t fully understand the biological mechanics behind cancer, but I realize that having it isn’t good for you.

  352. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:54

    Black people! We gots ‘em! We SWEAR!

    2010

    2006

    1992

    1984

    &cet.

  353. Jennifer said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:56

    In keeping with the nautical homosexuality theme, a continuation of the tale of Miles Cowperthwaite and his adventures aboard The Raging Queen:

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “If there were any doubts as to Captain Ned’s severity, they were quickly dispelled that very afternoon, when a scuffle broke out on deck.”

    [ Spunk approaches a Sailor tanning ]

    First Mate Spunk: That’s my tanning spot! you! You’re in my spot! That’s my spot!

    Sailor #1: You are daft! I’ve been here all morning. Now, run along, you are blocking my sun.

    First Mate Spunk: Don’t you give me any back-sass, you tan tease!

    [ fight breaks out; Captain Ned intervenes ]

    Captain Ned: Is this how men act on a man’s ship? Where is your manliness? Fighting on deck is a serious breach on my articles of strict discipline! I’m afraid the guilty party is in for a very severe punishment!

    Sailor #1: Captain.. I did indeed take Mr. Spunk’s spot. I’m ready to accept my punishment..

    First Mate Spunk: Captain! I threw the first blow. If anyone is to be punished, let it be me. I ask only that whatever you do, please don’t put me in a tight-fitting Lassie costume and make me eat from a monogrammed dog dish.

    Sailor #2: [ entering ] Captain, I encouraged this fight – punish me! Make me wear nipple-pinching clothespins, sir!

    Sailor #3: [ entering ] Me, Captain! Punish me!

    Captain Ned: Stop! I’ve heard enough! Your manly admission of guilt is most manful. However, as your Captain, it is I who must bear the full masculine responsibility! And therefore, I will be punished. Spunk! Take me alone! I want a boiling oil rub..

    [ Spunk drags Captain below decks for his punishment ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “Having had no seafaring experience, I was surprised at how different the life of a sailor was from what I had imagined. Our day began at dawn, where, after a hearty breakfast, we had punishment ’til lunchtime. After lunch, there was more punishment ’til dinner. After dinner, we would pull up anchor and sail for an hour, then drop anchor again for soem verbal humiliation, followed by evening punishment. I imagine that the crew is quite used to it, for in all my rounds with the ship surgeon, Dr. Pierce, I never once heard a man complain.”

    [ Miles follows Dr. Pierce during one of his rounds ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Sir? I was thinking, wouldn’t we make better progress if we was under sail 14 hours a day, and had punishment only two hours a day, instead of the other way ’round?

    Dr. Pierce: Miles, my boy, you have much to learn. Wihout strict discipline, we’d have mutiny on this ship.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh.

    Dr. Pierce: [ examines his patient's knee ] Let’s see. Ooh.. I don’t like the looks of that leg, Mr. Tarvox. I’m afraid we’ll have to take it off.

    Mr. Tarvox: Really?

    Dr. Pierce: Yes, I’m afraid so. And probably the arm, as well.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: [ confused ] The arm?! Why the arm, Doctor?

    Dr. Pierce: Well, to get the leg. Look. It’s rather in the way, see? [ indicates Tarvox's arm resting on his leg ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Why can’t he hold the arm out of the way.

    Dr. Pierce: Well, that’s.. fine.. if you’d rather do that.

    Mr. Tarvox: Yes, sir. Please.

    Dr. Pierce: Okay. Now, don’t worry, Mr. Tarvox, you won’t feel a thing. You’ll wake up, and they’ll be gone.

    Mr. Tarvox: They?

    Dr. Pierce: It. It’ll be gone. Uh.. I guarantee you won’t know which one is missing.

    Mr. Tarvox: Oh.

    Dr. Pierce: Any preferences? [ Tarvox gives a strange look ] Good. Good. Okay, we’ll take the.. the..

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Leg.

    Dr. Pierce: ..leg.. off on Thursday, okay? First thing. You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.. [ walks off to have a drink ]

  354. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:01

    Timothy Toy the cabin boy
    Was a permiscuous nipper
    Shoved shards of glass up his ass
    And circumcised the skipper

  355. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:13

    Since I’m 22 hours and 350 comments late, I’ll assume that all the good mizzenmast, keelhaul and buckled swish jokes have been taken.

  356. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:14

    The thing is, a lot of these guys are fairly educated, middle-class dudes who are all pissy because their wives refuse to be their servants and sex slaves.

    I just keep divorcing them until i find one…

  357. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:16

    Damn! Can I still be hetero if I go by Stephen? Or my middle name, Ross? Or do I need to come up with a good nickname.

    Max Power is taken, however.

    Um, stay away from Rod’s and Lance’s. They used to work, not so much anymore.

  358. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:20

    Um, stay away from Rod’s and Lance’s. They used to work, not so much anymore.

    There was a NatLamp bit on a Britt Ekland book entitled “My Life with Peter, Dick and Rod”.

  359. gocart mozart said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:25

    The gay pirates have the patch over their left eye or is it the other way around? I can never keep that straight.

  360. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:26

    Um, stay away from Rod’s and Lance’s. They used to work, not so much anymore.

    Ahhh, Lance. Leo & Lance is still my favorite pr0n flik ever. Even better than (one of) his other great pairing with Leo, Blonds Do it Best.

  361. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:26

    Wow protesters are waving their shoes at Mubarak. What is he, George Bush?

  362. Andy said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:32

    TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 10, 2011 at 21:40

    B**4 just beat me to the comment I was about to make: that site has to be a parody.

    I don’t think it is. I’ve seen a lot of similar shit on the web.

    Well, if it is for real (which I stil hope it isn’t), then you’re right, I don’t want to see any more stuff like it.

  363. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:33

    Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:01

    Timothy Toy the cabin boy…

    Heh. I remember it as Tommy Loy.

  364. Dubious P said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:35

    I can never keep that straight.

    I don’t think keeping it straight is the intention.

  365. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:36

    Mubarak basically just said, “Fuck you, I’m not going anywhere” People are furious.

  366. Open Cahoots said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:39

    Um, stay away from Rod’s and Lance’s. They used to work, not so much anymore.

    Speak for yourself, sir.

  367. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:40

    Nazi movies for Chris:

    The Eagle Has Landed — 1976, John Sturges, dir.

    A German parachute commander (Micheal Kaine) and his unit conduct a covert mission to kidnap Winston Churchill, assisted by an Irish collaborator (Donald Sutherland) on the ground.

    German high-command storyline involves mission planner Col. Radl (Robert Duvall), Himmler (Donald Pleasence), and Admiral Canaris (Anthony Quayle). US unit battling the paratroopers commanded by Treat Williams and his chickenhawk martinet commander, played by Larry Hagman. Great ensemble cast, fire writing.

    The Train — 1964, John Frankenheimer, dir. Black-and-white

    Loosely based on a true story. Shortly before the fall of Paris, a German colonel (Paul Schofield !) obsessed with Impressionist and post-Impressionist art attempts to steal the best masterpieces from the Jau de Paume and evacuate them by train to Germany before the Allies arrive in Paris.

    A resistance cell of French Railway workers must prevent the Train from reaching Germany…but without damaging its precious contents. The cell’s leader is railyard manager Burt Lancaster. A nice turn by Jeanne Moreau as a civilian caught in the intrigue. Score by Maurice Jarre, but most of soundtrack is ambient audio. The writing is clean and spare; much of the story is told by the visuals.

    The Train is brilliant action-adventure filmmaking, a largely unknown jewel. There are four truly exceptional tracking shots. Serious competitor for my personal all-time great movies list.

  368. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:41

    Hey, thanks you guys for the condolences. It meant a lot.

    What, I’m not sure.

    Anyway, I was asked over there if it’s too soon.

    OF course, it’s too soon! DK-W paid for a double with the corpse! Do you know how hard it is to get twice scale these days? Wait your turns, dammit!

  369. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:43

    They used to work, not so much anymore.

    Speak for yourself, sir.

    Sadly, I was.

    *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

  370. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:47

    “What the Left will never understand about the Tea Party”

    Maybe they could hold a press conference for the “liberal” media, and for those of us on the left, and we could ask questions.

    “Why did you drop the name Teabaggers?”

    “The little string…does that stay outside the cup or do you have to wrap it around his handle?”

    “What do you do with the wet bag when you’ve finished dipping?”

    “Why are you guys such sheeple?”

  371. tigris said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:47

    Not exactly anti-Nazi, but the documentary The Eye of Vichy is really interesting and available to stream from Netflix.

  372. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:49

    The pirates’s boners are turgid and throbbing
    They’re needing a fuck or a decent blowjobbing
    But nary a woman is there to be had
    So they’ll have to make do with your slut of a dad.

  373. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:52

    OT, but while wandering around the intertubes I discovered that the Get Smart complete series is availlable at Amazon for $86.99. Which I thought was very clever pricing till I noticed that if you scroll down on this page you can buy the complete series seperately for only $66.97.

  374. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:53

    First of all, great poem. I laughed, I cried, I threw up in my mouth a little.
    “turgid”

    I wish this word were used more often.

  375. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:53

    I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
    I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
    Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
    I want to sing and dance

    (waiting for the inevitable *Ahem*ming)

  376. smut clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:56

    Nazis in fillum? “Army of Shadows”.
    It might help give a clue to those wolverine-shouting shitweasels who fancy themselves as brave Resistance fighters against the evil occupying forces of the usurping Obama regime. Possibly not.

  377. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:56

    Welcome back, actor. Hope you’re doing ok.

  378. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:59

    Ooh ooh Penzance! Posted before but this is relevant.

  379. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 22:59

    Thanks, vs. I’m OK. My mom, no so much.

  380. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:01

    You don’t know Jack

  381. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:03

    the woman who complains that he gives “textbook answers”. What does that even mean? Too factual?

    Perhaps he is using non-Texas textbooks.

  382. Another Kiwi said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:03

    Chris, I’m not sure about this but there may be a very few video clips around of a scene with Hitler losing his rag in his bunker. Watching all of them might fill in a week or two.

  383. smut clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:09

    The gay pirates have the patch over their left eye or is it the other way around?

    If there’s a patch over both eyes then do not trust that pirate with your seeing-eye dog.

  384. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:10

    I believe that Substance has posted this at some point, but the thread is incomplete without it.

  385. gocart mozart said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:12

    “Now, I was buying into the whole gay pirate invasion story right until this last bit. I have more than a little experience in the art of gay seduction and I can testify that plying some guy with free booze, even with a little float building thrown in for good measure, is not going to lead a perfectly straight college kid to consent to being whisked off for a little game of hide-the-sausage with a pirate or anyone else. ”

    In Eugene’s defense, even the great Tintin must admit that drinking too many appletinis does make a guy kinda gay.

  386. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:13

    Once you’ve done the bolero with a torero you want no more-o the senora, as they say, more or less, in Seville.

    He made you grab the handle and you toreadore?

  387. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:14

    In Eugene’s defense, even the great Tintin must admit that drinking too many appletinis does make a guy kinda gay.

    Or smoking, for that matter.

  388. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:16

    There are even countless stories of any number of immoral sex act being performed by open homosexuals – some even in broad daylight during the event.

    Really! I mean, NO ONE would want to watch a bunch of reasonably buff men sweating while they pump their arms and pound their balls in the hot Florida sun! But enough about spring training…

    And then there’s the “gay pirates”!

  389. gocart mozart said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:21

    I second “The Train”. Great movie about Nazis vs. French Resistance. Conservatives may be confused as to who to root against though.

  390. smut clyde said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:23

    Float-building? Pirates? Thread needs more Blutarsky.

  391. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:28

    Chewing bubble gum constantly (aspartame, which causes temporary retardation)….They are always doing diet things for extra doses of aspartame.

    Sounds similar to Gerald Loughner’s fixation on grammar.

  392. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:30

    Sounds similar to Gerald Loughner’s fixation on grammar.

    NO MOAR SENTANCE FRAGMINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  393. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:31

    NO MOAR SENTANCE FRAGMINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Say wha?????????

  394. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:32

    BTW, before Shrub made him SECDEF, Rumsfeld made millions of dollars in the private sector by relentlessly pushing aspartame through government wickets.

  395. Open Cahoots said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:33

    And then there’s the “gay pirates”!

    “We Are Family” indeed

  396. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:34

    By the way…

    Eugene Delgaudio
    President
    Public Advocate of the U.S.

    Really? Really, Eugene?

  397. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:36

    Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
    February 10, 2011 at 0:41

    You know, there’s a “pegleg” joke in here somewhere.

    A little help!

    Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
    February 10, 2011 at 0:44

    Maybe I can just pull that “pegleg” joke out of my ass.

    You really needed an email accomplice here.

  398. Thread Bear said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:37

    Eugene Del Gaudy O sounds like a Radical Homosexual to me. Definitely much gayer than “Steve”.

  399. pedestrian said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:41

    Definitely much gayer than “Steve”.

    You would never expect Steve. That’s how he turned Adam.

  400. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:45

    You would never expect Steve.

    Indeed! TinTin’s well-endowed and insatiable toreadore was named Stevedore.

  401. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:45

    Damn! Can I still be hetero if I go by Stephen? Or my middle name, Ross? Or do I need to come up with a good nickname.

    Same dilemma here. (Well, Robert instead of Ross.) I’ve got a pool-shooting moniker, however. Stone Cold Stevie Ray T_______, the Wizard of Highlandtown.

  402. VS said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:49

    “You would never expect Steve”

    Nobody expects the Spanish Stevequisition.

  403. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:57

    OF course, it’s too soon! DK-W paid for a double with the corpse! Do you know how hard it is to get twice scale these days? Wait your turns, dammit!

    actor’s mom was barely cold
    But honestly? Truth be told,
    The difference I could hardly tell.
    That’s one lady he can continue to sell.

  404. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2011 at 23:59

    The difference I could hardly tell.

    Not sure here, DK-W, but I think you dissed yourself.

    And now your mom’s OFFICIALLY the whore…

  405. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:01

    Toreadore
    Stevedore
    He went in
    Through the Out door.

  406. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:10

    Not sure here, DK-W, but I think you dissed yourself.

    No, it was your mom that dissed me. Even now she still does things to me and will continue to until you close my tab.

  407. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:22

    So. WRONG.

  408. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:27

    I wonder if the right is ok with Suleiman taking over?

    The right has no idea what they’re OK with. Their role right now is limited to figuring out how they can credit Bush, blame Obama, or both. And, probably for a few of the movement’s policy wonks and analysts, thanking God it’s not their party up there having to make the decisions.

    True that, Chris. (I’m still wired into AJ / Egypt, btw).

  409. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:28

    Even now she still does things to me and will continue to until you close my tab.

    She can’t be zombified. We had the bitch cremated.

  410. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:30

    Actor: It’s good to see you back.

  411. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:40

    Nazis in fillum? “Army of Shadows”

    Bruce Campbell was great in that one!

    WHAT?

  412. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:44

    “Bruce Campbell was great in that one!”

    Tee hee!

  413. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:50

    Actor, it’s good to see your back.

    You see what I do there.

    Okay, yes, The Eagle Has Landed; The Train (gripping as hell); Army of Shadows (terrifying — the director was in the Resistance); Eye of the Needle; OF COARS you need The Dirty Dozen and Kelly’s Heroes; the Guns of Navarone, also, too; and Attack (Jack Palance steals the picture). Many moar.

    We have a large selection of war flims here at the Castle Grayskull.

  414. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:52

    Mubarak remains in office. So of course, the markets rise….

  415. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:52

    Von Ryans Express? No one? Really?

  416. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:53

    What is this splinter doing in my bu– Oh, Spengler!

  417. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:55

    We have a large selection of war flims here at the Castle Grayskull.

    Castle Grayskull, or Brokeback Snake Mountain?

  418. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:56

    Inglorious Basterds is a combo of The Train, Kelly’s Heroes, The Dirty Dozen, and Where Eagles Dare, more or less. That’s a good un too (Eastwood’s in it). There’s a super thriller about a British fellow hiking in pre-war Germany who has the chance to shoot Godwin’s friend, but doesn’t; I forgot the fucking name of it.

    And let’s not forget The Battle of Britain, with all them airyoplanes.

    Man Hunt! I remembered. Fritz Lang directed it, I think.

  419. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:57

    SPLINTER??? It’s easily the diameter of a pencil. Damn you Actor, I was prepared to be gentle.

  420. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 0:59

    She can’t be zombified. We had the bitch cremated.

    Actor is a piker. I gave my mother’s rotting corpse to science. Didn’t cost a penny!

  421. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:03

    Nazi

    Also Starship Troopers.

  422. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:07

    I think Chris should skip the films and read Mother Night in full view of the CPAC attendees. Then he should bang the beejeezus out of Chunky Reese Witherspoon, if she’s in attendance.

  423. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:07

    The gay pirates have the patch over their left eye or is it the other way around? I can never keep that straight.

    That’s the squick code. If you wear a patch over the left eye, you’re a top. If you wear the patch over the right eye, you’re into giving orbit-jobs.

    While we know Eugene wears his hanky on the right, I wonder what color he wears. Probably white with multicolor spots.

  424. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:10

    The Great Dictator

  425. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:13

    And let us not forget Donald Duck as a Nazi

  426. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:15

    I Am The Very Model of a Modern Homosexual
    [chorus omitted. For stage performance, see Pup @ 22:59]

    I am the very model of a modern homosexual.
    I’m stylish, good at cooking, a good-looking intellectual.
    At passing legislation, though, I’m largely ineffectual.
    I’m sometimes into S&M as long as it’s consensual.

    I’m clever with the crudites, especially asparagus.
    And I ignore Republicans whenever they disparage us.
    I think about adoption when I shop for baby carriages,
    While planning out my Boston trip and dreaming of gay marriages.

    I decorate with tasteful sprays of flowers and dried ears of corn.
    And I would not be caught dead in an outfit I’ve already worn.
    For esoteric sex acts that are highly unconventional,
    I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

    I love to make an entrance at a party, so I dash in late.
    I’m just an international male Calvin Klein fashion plate.
    I’ve done so many drugs that my complexion’s in an ashen state.
    But underneath it all, I really try to be “compassionate”.

    I love my gin and tonics, high colonics, and old Piaf songs.
    I love “The Women”, “All About Eve” and “The World of Suzie Wong”.
    My last to trip to New York, I shopped until I dropped a Bloomingdales.
    From menswear down to fragrances, they never had such booming sales.

    When I am in a gay bar, I know I’m the biggest bitch in there.
    And I throw dinner parties just to show off my new kitchenware.
    But still in fashion, film, fine art, and anything collectible,
    I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

    When I can differentiate twixt “fabulous” and “exquisite”,
    When I see some androgynous club kid and know which sex it is,
    When I know every detail of Miss Martha Stewart’s living room,
    When I know how much–retail–every what each who is giving whom,
    When I have learned what progress has been made in modern sodomy,
    When I know more of brainless boys than doctors of lobotomy,
    In short, with just a smattering of good cosmetic surgery,
    I’ll sidestep how unflattering I’d look from “binge and perjery”.

    My fancy for the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys kids’ mystery books
    And I how throw a party surely puts me in the history books,
    But still as a good-looking, good-at-cooking intellectual,
    I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

  427. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:15

    MOAR HITLAR WAR: ‘Come and See’ is incredible, a harsh and amazing film, but not a ton of fun; A Bridge too Far, natch, should be on any list; The Cruel Sea is a good’n; Hitchcock’s Foreign Correspondent is not to be missed — the plane crash remains a benchmark sequence. You’ll want Das Boot for the other side. Patton, for the big picture. Bogart shows up in “Sahara,” which is a minor but fun tank movie, and he’s also in some North African thing about refugees… All I remember is he owns a bar in that one.

    And about 30 more. Never mind. Hi, everybody! Pirates! ROAR!

  428. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:16

    And, Chris, The Great Escape.

  429. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:21

    You’ll want Das Boot for the other side.

    Das Butt

    **stolen from the Simpsons**

  430. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:22

    Battleground. Go for Broke.

  431. Whale Chowder said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:22

    Pirate Lurker: ver’ nice.

  432. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:28

    “Das Boot”–Arkansas!!

  433. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:31

    Applause for Pirate Lurker!

  434. Maddog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:35

    Go For Broke!

    Is available for viewing online at: http://www.archive.org/details/Go_for_Broke

    Yaaay public domain!

    -K

  435. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:36

    Oh, and Lurker, I found your missing attribution:

    © 1996. “Dirty Little Showtunes!” Tom Orr.

  436. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:43

    Thenk yew, maddog. Plans for the afternoonearly evening now shot.

    I lift my MD 20/20 to you!

  437. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:46

    The Dirty Dozen and Kelly’s Heroes; the Guns of Navarone

    Outstanding films! Don’t know Heroes, but major thumbs up for Dozen and Guns! Both have dynamite ensemble casts. Dirty Dozen: Lee Marvin , Donald Sutherland, Charles Bronson; Guns of Navarone: Gregory Peck, David Niven, Anthony Quinn.

  438. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:49

    Saving Private Ryan. Also.

  439. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:52

    And Saving Ryan’s Privates. Not to be missed.

  440. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:55

    No wimmins making WWII film suggestions, I notice. Testosterone City.

  441. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:56

    And Saving Ryan’s Privates. Not to be missed.

    I thought it was Shaving Ryan’s Privates.

  442. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:56

    Thanks. And, of course, thanks to Pup!

  443. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:56

    Top Five Nazi Zombie Movies.

    YW.

    Sweet Dreams.

  444. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:56

    Kelley’s Heroes is worth a look, if only because it is so lamely bizarre. Donald Sutherland as the beatnik/hippie (I kid you not!) tank commander is not to be missed.

    And Telly S., Clint & Rickles. Plus it’s interminable.

  445. Spearhafoc said,

    February 11, 2011 at 1:56

    If we’re still recommending anti-Nazi movies, might I suggest a 70′s exploitation gem called “The Tormentors”?

    Nazi bikers vs. hippies. And the leader of the hippies is Jesus. No really, he’s literally Jesus.

  446. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:04

    Surf Nazis Must Die.

  447. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:05

    B^4: Didja see yer eagles?

  448. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:13

    Dammit, I might have to switch teams

  449. gocart mozart said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:13

    Don’t forget “The Great Dictator” by Charlie Chaplin.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032553/

    Do you know who else had a mustache like Chaplin?

  450. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:15

    Go For Broke!

    I would recommend the book (I know, there’s that fag talk we talked about) Yankee Samurai, about the actions of the Nisei in the Pacific Theater. There’s an account of a Nisei GI being lowered naked (to demonstrate that he was unarmed) into a cavern in Okinawa so he could persuade the people inside to surrender. If that wouldn’t make for a great, tense scene in a film, what the hell would?

  451. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:18

    B^4: Didja see yer eagles?

    Yeah, I went where they dared, baby!

    I probably saw a half-dozen (I saw at least two adults and a juvenile in a park, and one, maybe two, when I got to the job site). Those babies cover a lot of ground, so I may have seen a couple of them twice.

  452. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:24

    I don’t care for war films, but I can offer this which is tangentially related to this thread

  453. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:27

    And another for Chris:

    My favorite track from my favorite blues album.

  454. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:27

    There’s an account of a Nisei GI being lowered naked (to demonstrate that he was unarmed) into a cavern in Okinawa
    ITO HIDEAKI!!!

    Oh! Or Hiroki Narimiya!

    They are Japanese, not Japanese-American but I know they could learn English! I would say Russell Wong, but that’s racist.

  455. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:30

    I don’t care for war films, but I can offer this which is tangentially related to this thread

    Wow. He must get a LOTTA DUDES.

  456. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:33

    “Wow. He must get a LOTTA DUDES”

    I know, right?

  457. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:33

    Breaking on AL: White House releases statement in response to Mubarak’s speech. Says transfer of power to Suleiman is insufficent. Seems stronger than past statements. No link for (longish text), but you folks can find it easily, I’m sure.

  458. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:34

    My favorite track from my favorite blues album.

    Niiiiiiiiiice

  459. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:36

    OT, if there is a T anymore, but bughunter could easily become bunghunter for the purpose of gay pirate threads.

  460. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:38

    But not nearly as strong as needed (IMO) and w-a-y late. US has been moving inch-by-inch for 18 fucking days now.

  461. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:39

    They are Japanese, not Japanese-American but I know they could learn English!

    I am now picturing pedestrian dancing around the office singing this.

    Oh, and here’s another plug for Guns of Navarone.

  462. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:41

    White House releases statement in response to Mubarak’s speech. Says transfer of power to Suleiman is insufficent. Seems stronger than past statements.

    I really think that he may have been pwned with the rest of us. I heard his speech in Michigan before Mubarak spoke and he was strongly hinting at some sort of a historic climax and congratulating the people for their victory. Ordinarily I would think that Mubarak gave the White House a cal lto get the green light before digging in – but then why would Obama throw egg on his face?

    I suspect that Obama expected him to resign just like the media and at the last minute Mubarak decided that everyone could go to hell.

  463. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:42

    Oh, over the 30 years I’ve used this nym, it’s been bastardized to bunghunter, butthunter, butthugger, butthunger, and many others. My favorite, though, was beerhunter.

  464. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:43

    I gave my mother’s rotting corpse to science.

    I have mine in the attic in a wicker chair.

    WWII movie: “Christabel.” Damned creepy with almost no violence.

  465. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:44

    Oh, and quelle surprise!!

  466. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:45

    Well, shit, Mubarek is what, 82 years old?

    Why would anyone expect him to be anything other than “you damn kids get offa my lawn?”

    Also, too. For my money this is the most awesome blues song ever recorded. Hard to believe that one guy is making all of that sound.

  467. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:48

    Ever since I read Mary Roach’s book Stiff, I have figured I’d leave my body to science, but I can’t decide whether I’d rather give medical students nightmares in the anatomy lab, or be of use as a putrefying teaching tool at the Body Farm.

    But I’m going to think of something else now.

  468. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:49

    I can’t decide whether I’d rather give medical students nightmares in the anatomy lab, or be of use as a putrefying teaching tool at the Body Farm.

    I want to be used for pranks in the medical-school cafeteria.

  469. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:51

    Larkspur – not to worry; when you donate your body to science, you don’t really get to stipulate how it gets used. So your head might end up on a tray for plastic surgeons to practice on, while your fingers might get used to figure out how much force an automatic car window motor should have so it won’t break fingers. (I read that book too…quite fascinating.)

  470. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:52

    Parceled out properly, you could star in a lot of pranks, N_B. I’m impressed.

  471. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:54

    Never eat cafeteria liver.

  472. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:55

    Huh, Jennifer. I did not know that. I guess that’s why people who think the dead shall be raised up on Judgment Day probably don’t tend to leave their bodies to science. It would be weird to show up wearing a windshield, or in bits and pieces.

  473. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 2:57

    Jennifer, weren’t you sort of comforted by the section in the book about medical cadavers, and how respectful the students were? And how they had a memorial service for their cadavers at the end of the semester? It sounds like I am making a morbid joke (who, me?) but I am serious. Mary Roach really did write about it.

  474. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:02

    Medical school or flames for me.

    I’m ID’ed as an organ donor (if 60+ organs can help). If you are not an organ donor, consider becoming one.

  475. Another Kiwi said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:03

    Jennifer is right about John Lee Hooker. he was the man.
    We had a great programme ont Telly about donating ones body to the medical school. With interviews of the donaters. Fascinating and yeah, the students were very respectful. One old lady said that she would like to see the look on the face of the student who could only find one kidney in her.

  476. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:04

    Looking forward to listening to all the Blues links later! Back to Egypt.

  477. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:04

    One old lady said that she would like to see the look on the face of the student who could only find one kidney in her.

    She hid the other three?

  478. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:05

    Jennifer, I’m with you on the John Lee Hooker. I’m also very fond of Mr. T-Bone Walker and, in a completely different vein, Ms. Bessie Smith

  479. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:09

    Larkspur – I don’t know about “comforted”…though it’s nice to know they are respectful of the corpses. Funerals where the body is displayed have always squicked me out; I’m really not keen on the idea of people looking at my dead body after I’m no longer there, and I think that is probably in everyone’s mind somewhere – if so, it would be the rare person who would be other than respectful. As for me, after they harvest whatever they can use, I’m gonna get burned.

  480. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:12

    Better Blues at Sunrise Link. The other one had 5 minutes cut off the beginning. Explore the related links at the right, too. Vaughan and King were awesome together…

  481. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:13

    I can’t decide whether I’d rather give medical students nightmares in the anatomy lab, or be of use as a putrefying teaching tool at the Body Farm.

    Just have your loved ones throw you into a crevasse in a glacier, then when you thaw out in 10,000 years (oh, who am I kidding, climate change isreal) 50 years, future scientists can examine you (or starving mutants can eat you).

  482. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:13

    I plan on having my corpse thrown in the municipal water supply.

  483. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:17

    I’m really not keen on the idea of people looking at my dead body after I’m no longer there

    Especially when you’re tarted up with more makeup than you’d worn throughout your entire life!

    Bury me at sea, where no murdered ghost can haunt me.

    Which brings us back to, you got it, time machines pirates.

  484. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:18

    Medical school or flames for me.

    With my luck, I’d end up being a crash-test dummy. (Although one of the nice things about atheism is that you don’t care.)

  485. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:21

    With my luck, I’d end up being a crash-test dummy

    Ugh, that band sucked.

  486. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:22

    I plan on having my corpse thrown in the municipal water supply.

    FYI, those big manholes in the street aren’t water supply.

  487. B^4 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:23

    FYI, those big manholes in the street aren’t water supply.

    Yeah, they’re adits for C.H.U.D.s.

  488. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:25

    Well, shit, Mubarek is what, 82 years old?

    Odd thought: What do Hosni Mubarak, Ferdinand Marcos, and Ronald Reagan have in common?

    None of them had a single gray hair on their heads.

  489. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:29

    I guess that’s why people who think the dead shall be raised up on Judgment Day probably don’t tend to leave their bodies to science. It would be weird to show up wearing a windshield, or in bits and pieces.

    lulz, Larkspur.

  490. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:31

    Go to 2:43 on this video. What’s Mubarak doing coaching a Dutch soccer team?

  491. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:39

    I thought all the pay-trolls were laid off after the election.

  492. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:39

    Hey: B^4 has a guest shot on tonight’s CSI.

  493. Maddog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:40

    Maybe he’s being crazy on spec?

  494. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:41

    Dunno, Scribe. Maybe he plans to convert the stadium into a lavish exile palace?

  495. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:43

    Hey: B^4 has a guest shot on tonight’s CSI.

    Fer realz? That rocks! (Wish I had a TV. Can someone do one of those YouTube watchamacallits?)

  496. HERCULE QUADTHLON SAVINIEN said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:46

    Don’t forget the Lost Continent of Atlantis, the Republic of Turkaloo, the Empire of Freedonia, the Flyspeck Islands, the Austro-Hungarian Exiles, the Land of Oz, Utopia, Eldorado, Shangrila, the Oceania-Eastasia Alliance, the Principality of Quintana Roo, West Bumblefuck and the No Brains Atoll.

  497. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:47

    MAGISTER HELMET SCRIVULATE

    This is a time to act in your own self interests, to arg blarg monster truck penis any international connection, relationship, accords, or walrus as tenuous at best with an American-Israeli delicatessin in decline. It is time to step back and masturbate what is not only best within each of your Buttocks of Sodomy, not only in the short but long term, for the rest of the Spherical Globular Round Things That Are Not Square into the [21st] and [22nd] Century [and the very early part of the 23d Century, inclusive], this is a dangerous year of flatulence, in the down slide of the Second Empire Style Haunted House to its end in [2020, on or near August 15th, probably mid-day], the Wheel of Fate has Changed (and it’s not a full-size spare, dammit), your nations and Spheres hold the spheres of Beyonce’s buttocks in your hands, starting at this moment in history (as of this time which is now, not later, certainly not earlier, although getting to be later as I write this), you hold in your hands the moral authority, a book of matches, a comb, half a pack of Spearmint Gum, and a canceled check from Blockbuster, domestically and internationally, and intellectual leadership lacking within the Empire (except from Mr. Krauthammer, AKA Strangelove, AKA the Book of Kells), your time has come, the future rests with you, Dr. G. Westerwelle of Germany, Mr. Shapiro of Rabinowitz Tailoring on 47th St., President Hu Jintao, of the Peoples Republic of China (and president pro tem of the Hong Kong Gold Club Alliance), Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, of Scranton, PA, and President Dmitry Medvedev of the Isaac Asimov Appreciation Society, ready or not your time has come, single one world government of the Empire, and its Media Messiah Imperial President rule by executive power and authority can not be that of the Community of Nations. And that goes double for you.

  498. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:48

    Ever since I read Mary Roach’s book Stiff, I have figured I’d leave my body to science, but I can’t decide whether I’d rather give medical students nightmares in the anatomy lab, or be of use as a putrefying teaching tool at the Body Farm.

    Me, I’m going to be cremated and turned into a reef ball.

    Because goodness knows, I didn’t ball enough in life.

  499. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:49

    [Heineken!]

    The New [PVC] Poly Vinyl Chloride Tubular Beer Dispenser!

  500. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:51

    the Principality of Quintana Roo

    Dammit, I distinctly told that taxi driver to take me to Fernando Poo.

  501. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:51

    Actor is a piker. I gave my mother’s rotting corpse to science. Didn’t cost a penny!

    Piker… I do not think that word means what you think it means…

  502. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:52

    [I'm Hercule Triathlon Savinien Myra]

    You, um, changed genders…

  503. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:52

    Spengler: Fucking wall-to-wall hilarious. That’s genius at work, folks.

  504. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:53

    “Vaughan and King”

    I was sitting in Antone’s, Austin’s legendary blues club, one night when Jimmy Vaughn and the Fab T-Birds were at their best. Late in the evening Stevie Ray (to whom I often served fresh lime Margaritas at Lakeway and also play the video game on the bar to see who paid; fucker owed me $40 when he died) came in with a large guy who I couldn’t really see. Yeah, of course a few minutes later Stevie Ray and B.B. King were on stage and it was FUCKING BEYOND AWESOME.

  505. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:54

    This is a time to act in your own self interests, to arg blarg monster truck penis any international connection

    Oh, Spengler! It IS you!

  506. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:54

    OK if fag pirates want to buttfuck people in Miami, so what? I still don’t get the homophobia thing. Buttfucking is heaps of fun, it’s pretty much impossible unless you’re willing to go along with it, and most people don’t in any case want to fuck a bunch of unpleasant, dogmatic, pasty, slack-assed douchebags — fore, aft, or otherwise — if there are attractive and enthusiastic alternative candidates available for said sport. I think SOMEBODY yearns for the love that dare not speak his phone number.

    Then again, I’m a hedonist, a swine, and I went to art school.

  507. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:54

    Fuck…you ever sit and edit photos and look at one and realize you have no idea what the hell you were shooting?

  508. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:55

    Drudge sent a little E-mail saying his lawyers, said it wasn’t to good of an idea to let us post

    That wasn’t his lawyers. That was your doctors.

  509. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:57

    Fuck…you ever sit and edit photos and look at one and realize you have no idea what the hell you were shooting?

    PROTIP: Take the lens cap off.

  510. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:57

    I still don’t get the homophobia thing.

    Because it means, somewhere, someone is having a good time.

  511. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:58

    PROTIP: Take the lens cap off.

    My teacher told me I might scratch the lens if I did.

  512. Whale Chowder said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:58

    [58%] Want Smaller Government

    [59%] Want Tax Cuts

    [59%] Want The Deficit Cut

    [75% - 83%] Dislike and/or blame all politicians, for the pickle were in.

    …and 100% want all their services continued.

  513. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:59

    HERCULES QUADRICEPS DIAZEPAM reminds me very, very, very much of a rampaging twat who destroys the comments over at Truthdig, usually on the Chris Hedges threads. This party has some one-world imaginary kingdom of bullshit going, and these enormous copypasta comments which are highly similar to Herc’s rantings.

    If it’s the same individual, let’s remember who mocked you cross-eyed over there until he had to be banned, shall we? I’m not above making light of unmedicated psychotics.

  514. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:59

    *The United City-State Federation of Brooklyn and Queens
    *The Republic of the Bronx
    *The City-State of Manhattan

    PSST! N__B! B^4!

    Dibs on Manhattan! We can be princes, man!

  515. Whale Chowder said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:59

    And I want a pony.

  516. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 3:59

    Piker… I do not think that word means what you think it means…

    In the sense that you didn’t go all out for total disrespect. Whereas I did, & came out ahead on the deal.

  517. Spengler Dampniche, Author of God said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:01

    B^4, we shall afford no sleep to Brooklyn when next I’m there. We shall reign as KINGS OF NIGHT!!!!

  518. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:02

    The Anarcho-Syndicalist Collective of Flatbush.

  519. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:02

    In the sense that you didn’t go all out for total disrespect.

    Ohhhhhhhh…

    Would it help restore my cred if I said her final wish was to be donated to science? And I still had her cremated?

  520. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:02

    The Caliphate of Burlington Coat Factory

  521. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:03

    we shall afford no sleep to Brooklyn when next I’m there.

    Nobody actually sleeps IN Brooklyn, you know.

  522. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:03

    Ok, so I’ve installed Greasemonkey and I’ve enabled the kill file. How do I add creatures with heroic classical names to it? Help plz!

    Spengler, can I buy you a drink?

  523. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:04

    Emir of the Laundromat

  524. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:04

    Brooklyn hath murdered sleep
    And now Brooklyn shall sleep no more.

  525. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:05

    I’m not above making light of unmedicated psychotics.

    Seriously. Stay the fuck off my lawns.

    I am not unfamiliar w/ restraining orders, & I’m pretty sure I could get one against someone else.

  526. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:06

    A whore! A whore! My KINGSCOUNTYdom for a whore!

  527. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:06

    Lord of the Fire Escape

  528. tigris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:06

    [75% - 83%] Dislike and/or blame all politicians, for the pickle were in.

    BUT WHO DOESN’T LOVE PICKLES?!!!

  529. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:07

    Dibs on Manhattan! We can be princes, man!

    Dibs on Berlin.

  530. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:07

    *The Kingdom of Connecticut

    Oh right… An Arthurian Yankee in the King of Connecticut’s Court. I had to read that in middle school.

  531. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:07

    Hercule: That long post was really something. (What sort of something, I’m not exactly sure….)

    All I can add is the Bill and Hillary, IMO, are douchebag and douchebagette. (Or is that douchebaguette?) Anyways, Bill and the DLC drove me out of the Democratic Party and I ain’t never goin’ back.

  532. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:07

    Lord of the Fire Escape

    *GASP*

    I’m….I’m….words fail me, m’luds, m’ladies. This is outstanding!

  533. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:08

    I don’t like your stealing all the good lines business doktor.

  534. Maddog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:08

    > [THE MAP OF NEW YORK CITY METRO AREA WILL CHANGE!!!!]

    Man, that is just going to play havoc with the transit systems and other municipal services…

    Are you sure that we can’t just let Master Blaster run Bartertown?

    -K

    PS – King of Connecticut? It’s a little late to go crawling back to Mother England wouldn’t you say?

  535. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:09

    The Kingdom of Connecticut

    Aw, fuck…Bobo Wens will try to move up here…

  536. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:09

    No sex w/ androids!

    “You laugh, but it’s true!”

  537. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:09

    By the way, Actor, I think you understand me when I say that losses like you have suffered throw the brevity of life cruelly into view, and all the things we wish we’d said and done can never be retrieved. The loss of one’s mother is like the world forgetting its beginning, forgetting its soul, forgetting most of all the infinite debt it owes to those who bring it into being for all of us. I am sincerely, deeply sorry about your mom.

    She was breathing when I left.

  538. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:11

    *refusing to admit that Spengler had me roaring with laughter*

    Yes. Her passing was sudden, and left a large hole in my life.

    Should I mail the socks?

  539. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:11

    Now, the City-State of Manhattan, will be like [Singapore] or [Hong Kong] or even the [Athens] of ANCIENT GREECE

    Openly gay and in brackets?

  540. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:13

    Actor nailed you. That just makes it even more geniouser, Mr. Dampniche.

  541. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:14

    Actor nailed you.

    Uh oh…

  542. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:15

    I don’t like your stealing all the good lines business doktor.

    I am not sharing the drugs that keep me thin.

  543. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:15

    Should I mail the socks?

    Vtubesock holocaustR

    Too soon: when is it?

  544. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:15

    Also like the nym change, Arthur.

  545. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:16

    [Heineken!]

    Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

  546. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:16

    Well, she did leave an ample supply of fresh tubesocks. I was thinking of donating them to a nursing home for the terminally Teabagging.

  547. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:17

    SNIDELY, IS THAT YOU?

  548. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:18

    Not you, Actor. Sorry. I freaked out.

  549. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:18

    Pabst Blue Ribbon!

    Boy, what goes round come around. When I was a kid, Pabst was the “rich guy’s” beer, mostly because they sponsored the Yankees, and everyone drank Rheingold or Schlitz. ‘

    Hell, even Bud was “designer”…

  550. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:19

    Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

    Elitist. It’s Schlitz or nothing.

  551. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:19

    She was breathing when I left.

    Fuck. I’ve been nurturing this motherfucking schtick for who knows how long and you have to go and drop a masterpiece like that. And it’s hard for me to appreciate the genius and art of it when I am seething with jealousy.

  552. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:19

    pedestrian, do you really need help killing stuff, or are you joking? Because if you installed the greasemonkey thing, you should be seeing (kill) next to the time and date stamp of every comment. You press (kill) and it asks if you want to add this name to your kill file, and you say yes. Henceforth you have the option to unkill or autopsy that commenter’s comments. ‘Course, every time the offender changes its nym, you have to kill it again, but it’s easy and fun.

  553. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:19

    Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

    Rheingold!

  554. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:21

    Wait. I always thought New York a dukedom.

  555. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:21

    “Fuck. I’ve been nurturing this motherfucking schtick for who knows how long and you have to go and drop a masterpiece like that. And it’s hard for me to appreciate the genius and art of it when I am seething with jealousy.”

    And yet this is kind of genius in itself.

  556. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:22

    I’ve been nurturing this motherfucking schtick for who knows how long and you have to go and drop a masterpiece like that.

    It’s like New Wave was to punk…

  557. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:24

    Wait. I always thought New York a dukedom.

    Wrong Duke

  558. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:25

    There will also be a PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF GREATER NEW ENGLAND, some people dream of uniting of New England [EXCEPT for the portions near NEW YORK]

    So Connecticut, New Hampshire, Rhode Island….no go?

    Not much left of New England except Vermont, Maine and Massachussets…you sure they taught you geography in high school?

    Did you bother attending?

  559. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:27

    Wrong Duke

    I call shenanigans. That Duke is wearing a Dodgers jersey, and we all know that the Dodgers are based in the city of Artful.

  560. Maddog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:27

    > …and the [Maritime Provinces] of Canada to form a …

    So you fancy getting shot in the face by a drunken Canuck eh?

    Kinky…

    -K

  561. Anonymous said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:31

    Here’s to the state of Mississippi.

  562. Another Kiwi said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:32

    The Pharaoh of Sam the Sham

  563. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:32

    @Larkspur

    Bless you! It was too obvious, that was the problem. I thought that I had to insert it into the code somewhere. *gives kill finger some warm-up stretches*

  564. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:32

    We meant to say NEW YORK CITY.

    We?

    Dude, up the meds.

  565. Anonymous said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:32

    Here’s to the state of Mississippi.

    Maybe we shouldn’t've let the South put up memorials to the leaders of the Slavers’ Revolt.

  566. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:34

    [ACTOR KICKS TRIATHLON IN THE NADS]

    We were aiming for the penis, but missed.

  567. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:39

    TEXIFORNIA

    Well, at least they’d all go bankrupt in one package. We could try to trade them to Mexico for Tijuana. Or at least some marijuana.

  568. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:41

    * America: The Confederate States of America

    Herk, we can finally find common ground.

    THIS, you can have.

    But only if I can build a fucking border fence around the pansyass rednecks and keep their lillylivers out of my America.

  569. HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:42

    GIVE ME PIE OR GIVE ME DEATH!

  570. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:42

    Try being a Red Headed Whiskey drinking no prospects Catholic Irishman dating a dark haired, dark eyed brain Greek Orthodox, chick
    CSI: Miami – right?

  571. HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:44

    BUT I WILL SETTLE FOR A MALLOMAR!!

  572. Another Kiwi said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:44

    A new Empire? They’re putting in a garden bar?

  573. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:49

    pssst. You’ve only got four pillars. What are you, anti-beatboxing?

    The Fifth Pillar of Society
    Common To My Parlour – Every residence will have one room designed to meet very specific standards (a place for your mom to lie on her back) which cause flies to drop.

  574. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 11, 2011 at 4:56

    Oh, yeah, that reminds me that I need to download Greasemetal.

    . And it’s hard for me to appreciate the genius and art of it when I am seething with jealousy.

    Yeah, I find myself cursing him quite a bit.

  575. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 11, 2011 at 5:01

    Oh, it’s built in now. I’m a tard.

  576. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 5:21

    Back online. Before I head to bed,

    1) Thanks for all the WW2 movie suggestions.

    2) Hmm. Sadly, No! has a(nother) cave troll. Not going to feed it, but I did see the words “cotton picking” in there somewhere as I scrolled past his word-vomit and would like to register my complete lack of surprise that such nomenclature would come from a troll.

    3) Is Mubarak nuts? Retiring and turning the country over to Suleiman and the military, and letting them begin a slow path towards reform might’ve been enough to placate the protestors and those in the West who sympathize with them, and ensure a safe retirement for himself. Instead he doubles down on the crazy by flipping the bird to his own people and the entire world.

    And from the one article I skimmed about the Egyptian people’s reaction, damn. They SO MAD. I don’t blame them.

  577. The Dread Pirate Gobblerts said,

    February 11, 2011 at 5:36

    Hrrrghhhghghhgmmmghghgmmmrrghghghllmmmghghghhhhh

  578. The Dread Pirate Gobblerts said,

    February 11, 2011 at 5:41

    *gobblegobblegobblegobble*

    fywpwargw

  579. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:12

    PSST! N__B! B^4! Dibs on Manhattan! We can be princes, man!

    Typical NYC aristocrats! (I would prefer to see the People’s Democratic Socialist Collective of Manhattan.)

    Nevertheless, with you guys in charge, I would definitely visit the Federated Provinces of NYC.

  580. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:27

    HERCULE ?

    SRSLY?

  581. The Luddite Pirates said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:41

    The band needs to install some of that nasty-ass Killer stuff to go along with our killer music.

    But that pissant Eddie our equipment guy got all ratsass on everybody and won’t talk to us anymore. So we’ll need a simple wiring diagram to splain how to do it. Really, really simple. Remember all the trouble we had figuring our how tags are wired?

    We totally rock. But we’re The Luddite Pirates, after all.

  582. s9 said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:49

    “Nothing brings a family together like kidnapping, robbery on the high seas, plank-walking, rum-drinking, some fitful sodomy, and, of course, the occasional lash.”

    You’re confused. That’s the Royal Navy.

  583. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:51

    Hercule: Stay on your meds. The other Sadlies may be joking, but I’m absolutely serious: Stay on your meds.

    I’m no psychiatrist, only a patient. But your stuff reads like you’re in full-blown manic mode, like you’re off a mood stabilizer. I’m serious: Get some help. Stay on your meds.

  584. Andy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 6:54

    HERCULE ?

    SRSLY?

    SRSLY. Like this guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrano_de_Bergerac

    I still don’t know where “TRIATHLON” comes from, though.

  585. low sodium hunchback said,

    February 11, 2011 at 7:02

    five hundred ninety 1th

  586. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 7:06

    BUT WHO DOESN’T LOVE PICKLES?!!!

    PICKLE SURPRISE!!

  587. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 7:19

    Actor: Spengler said it far better. It seems to me there is a mysterious bond between parents and children…and so very deep and special between mothers and children. Is there a more painful sundering?

    I’m saddened by your loss, Actor. Take some beautiful photographs.

  588. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 7:29

    Fernando Poo

    Epic: my copy of the original printing of R.A.W.’s Schrodinger’s Cat just arrived.

    Brutal: I don’t have any weed.

  589. MANIFESTO DE GOCARTO MOZARTO ALFREDO SPAGHETTO DECATHALON & SOSEZYORMOM said,

    February 11, 2011 at 8:12

    meh

  590. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 9:20

    I gave my mother’s rotting corpse to science.

    I would like to give my body to poetry but WHERE DO I SIGN UP???

  591. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2011 at 9:29

    The Dead Poets Society?

  592. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 9:32

    When I say ‘poetry’ I do not mean ‘crass limericks by DKW or Substance’.

  593. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 9:33

    Also IMHO not enough people leave their bodies to geography.

  594. Exford Quadbike Sauvignon said,

    February 11, 2011 at 10:30

    Good Nazi movie: ‘Downfall’ (Untergang)

    Uh, and ‘Rats of Tobruk’

  595. gocart mozart said,

    February 11, 2011 at 11:11

    Mamamama My Sharia!
    http://motherjones.com/mojo/2010/12/sharia-fever-catch-it
    http://thebrainpolice.blogspot.com/2010/12/payback-is-bitch.html

    “Religious sectarian law” means any statute, tenet or body of law evolving within and binding a specific religious sect or tribe. Religious sectarian law includes Sharia law, Canon law, Halacha and Karma but does not include any law of the United States or the individual states based on Anglo-American legal tradition and principles on which the United States was founded.”

    “religious sectarian law includes Sharia law, Canon law,
    i.e. worshipers of the god Cathol]
    Halacha
    [had to look this word up. Jewish Law! Really?]
    and Karma
    [I think they think she is the most powerful of the Hindu gods which is why islamohindicommies can sometimes be heard to say "Karma is a bitch! Ergo, The Bitch Goddess! All kidding aside, I think parts of this country should be really concerned about Karma these days]
    http://www.jewfaq.org/halakhah.htm

  596. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 13:13

    “Religious sectarian law” means any statute, tenet or body of law evolving within and binding a specific religious sect or tribe.

    Glasgow Rangers fandom included?

  597. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 11, 2011 at 13:38

    I just saw a lady on a scooter like the one I used to have. I totes pointed and laughed.

  598. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    February 11, 2011 at 13:40

    Hers was nicer, but it didn’t have streamers.

  599. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 13:43

    Was she encankled?

  600. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 14:13

    Yes, The Pirate Lurkers is IceNine/Snidely/The Variants. I figured it out immediately; he had a distinct writing style that always gives him away.

    Pirate, if you’re reading this, I want to echo what B^4 said on my blog: I think you’d make an exceptional blog author. With your life experience and all your stories…it’s a perfect fit. You should go to Blogger and sign up.

  601. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 14:21

    has

  602. Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 15:09

    Epic: my copy of the original printing of R.A.W.’s Schrodinger’s Cat just arrived.

    How can you be sure?

  603. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 15:15

    Also IMHO not enough people leave their bodies to geography.

    I very nearly left my body to gym class.

  604. El Manquésito said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:04

    I left my body to peyote once but HE GAVE IT BACK.

  605. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:05

    and I went to art school.
    you know who else went to art school? and then things….escalated…

  606. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:05

    and then my tag failed…

  607. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:06

    Stephen…I love you.

  608. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:11

    The latest smear against J. Assange: sprog littering.

    I really don’t know what to believe anymore now that the world’s most powerful organizations are pissed off at him.

    Also: He seemed really, really well prepared for that 60 Minutes interview last month. Like they fed him the questions a week in advance… or, more likely, asked him questions he’s fielded many times before.

  609. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:15

    Stephen…I love you.

    i know, right?!?!?

  610. El Manquésito said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:20

    Epic: my copy of the original printing of R.A.W.’s Schrodinger’s Cat just arrived.

    Do NOT open the box.

  611. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:21

    Megs always knows how to cheer me up.

    Any discussion about house prices ends up dwelling on the “shadow inventory”–the backlogs of houses that really need to be sold, but nonetheless aren’t on the market. [...] The bright note of the dismal foreclosure uptick is that the faster we work through the shadow inventory, the faster we find the bottom and can start making some rational decisions again.

  612. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:30

    I really don’t know what to believe anymore now that the world’s most powerful organizations are pissed off at him.

    I know, it’s not so different from the way that the internal dynamics of an authoritarian regime are hinted at in the state press. We’ve gotten used to learning which country we are going to invade from the media portrayal of its leaders, but to see it directed at a private individual is a new level of creepy.

  613. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:34

    How the fuck did this dumb, misogynistic forward end up in my inbox?


     
     
    I love the last one!!

     
     
     
    Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
                                 ***
    A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were  labelled LSD?’
    Granny replies, screw the pills, have you seen the dragons  in the kitchen?!
                                 ***
     
    A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her  husband, I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.’   He replies, ‘Your eyesight is perfect.’
        
                           ***
    Wife gets naked & asks hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my  pretty face or my sexy body?’   Hubby looks her up & down and replies, ‘Your sense of humor!
                                  ***
         
    An elderly couple is attending Mass…
    About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her  husband , ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I  should do?’  He replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
     
     
     
     
     
     

  614. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:47

    T&U: Tried to leave a comment at yer place, but got the ‘system error’ message…and couldn’t send an e-mail to Admin, so I’m using S,N as comms.

    Others: Drop by T&U’s site. She has a clip of Dick Cheney being called out by a brave soul at CPAC for exactly what he is.

  615. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:53

    Hart Williams has been on a roll, lately.

    Hart writes some of the best, most well-researched original content on the web. But be warned, he does get rather long-winded, as he readily admits.

  616. mark f said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:53

    Shorter Scott Johnson, Powerline:

    We shouldn’t allow fags to be Republicans because God wrote in the Constitution that polygamy is as bad as slavery and Ezra Klein is stoopid.

  617. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 16:58

    “Others: Drop by T&U’s site. She has a clip of Dick Cheney being called out by a brave soul at CPAC for exactly what he is.”

    I would love to, but can’t here at work. Will visit this afternoon. How the hell can they block her site, Digby and Atrios, but allow me to waste my day here at S,N!, Wonkette, FDL, B-J, etc.? I’m affeared that if I complain, the suits would say, “Hmmm. He’s right.” And they would then proceed to block S,N!, Wonkette, FDL, B-J, etc. So, I continue to live my life of quiet desperation…….

  618. Thread Bear said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:00

    A question for those here who read Frech, is this true?

  619. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:00

    ……..and the Hart Williams site is also blocked.

  620. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:10

    A question for those here who read Frech, is this true?

    It is true that the accent is facing the wrong way.

    I wasn’t actually aware of the French word for “period” (was an innocent twelve years old the last time I lived there), so I looked it up on fr.wikipedia.org. Apparently, that is not true. The word for “period” is the same spelling (accent at all) as the word for “rules.”

    So maybe he actually did mean to say “my life, my period” and couldn’t spell.

  621. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:10

    God wrote in the Constitution that polygamy is as bad as slavery

    By which God meant, they are both totally ok as long as men pay a fair price for as many wives and slaves that they care to own.

  622. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:15

    they are both totally ok as long as men pay a fair price for as many wives and slaves that they care to own.

    Is it constitutional to buy in bulk at discount?

  623. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:19

    #

    Open Cahoots said,

    February 11, 2011 at 15:09

    Epic: my copy of the original printing of R.A.W.’s Schrodinger’s Cat just arrived.

    How can you be sure?

    I shat.

    Here a guy thinks he’s won the internazz for the day, and then somebody hits a bank shot off a frigging passing helicopter and straight into the ninth hole to win the tournament.

  624. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:21

    From my inbox:

    “Amazon.com recommends “Grade 2 Zinc Plated Steel Hex Bolt, 1/2″-13, 4-1/2″ Length (Pack of 5)” and more”

    It’s been a full, rich life.

  625. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:23

    From mark f’s link:

    “We had to wait in line to get in; the fact that people were willing to do so in yesterday’s freezing cold here in D.C. was impressive. In line, we bumped into our friends Roger Simon and Roger Kimball. It was one time when Roger Simon’s trademark hat came in handy.”

    How big is Roger’s hat?

  626. mark f said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:26

    I was actually a little bit surprised to see Johnson make that argument. Not because he ever makes a good argument, but because he’s a lawyer who preens about being a “student of history”* and thinks he has a incredibly fine-tuned mind. Yet literally the only bit approaching substance, however weak, in support of his position is that “this is a subject . . . which inevitably lead[s] back to nature and nature’s God.”

    *This post is a doozy. As a student of history, Scott Johnson recognizes that Nancy Pelosi is an intolerant Nazi, while those who opposed the Burlington Coat Factory Community Center are innocents just minding their own business.

  627. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:27

    Here a guy thinks he’s won the internazz

    No, it was more a plea for some buds.

  628. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:30

    My Amazon recommendations include a porcelain cat creamer, a Guggenheim Museum LEGO kit, and a steel rat cage.

    *stares off vacantly*

  629. mark f said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:31

    Oh em gee, I hadn’t seen Hindy’s addendum until just now:

    Moreover, the enormous talents of the gay community can be a real asset to the movement. So I say, welcome to the fight.

    Now I’m hoping for some kind of reality show where Tim Gunn and the guy from What Not to Wear help aspiring Breitbarts develop talking points and fashion sense.

  630. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:36

    SHOVE THAT ENORMOUS TALENT DOWN THEIR THROATS.

  631. Larkspur said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:39

    Mubarak resigns.

    It’s a start.

  632. mark f said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:41

    I was too squeamish to press the play button on Hinderaker’s video. I don’t know if the GOProud party looked more like the club scenes in season 1 of Six Feet Under or if it was a bunch of nervous squares trying desperately to look like they actually enjoyed listening to a dj spin Lady Gaga, but either way it couldn’t be good.

  633. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:42

    Egypt to Mubarak: Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot.

  634. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:43

    Also known as what Larkspur just posted.

  635. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:45

    he’s a lawyer who preens about being a “student of history”* and thinks he has a incredibly fine-tuned mind.

    In my experience, people who are self-proclaimed “students of history” tend to be ignorant assholes trying to paint a scholarly veneer over their untested prejudices.

    more evidence

    Q: (Laughs.) Thank you. We would also like to know your advice for somebody like my daughter, who’s going to graduate in two years, advice that you would give a young person. Thank you very much.

    SEC. RUMSFELD: Advice for a young person. Study history.

    MR. WEFALD: Hey, there you go. There you go. (Laughter, applause.)

  636. tigris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:47

    When I say ‘poetry’ I do not mean ‘crass limericks by DKW or Substance’.

    Hey, who was it who wrote smutty sestinas because ORDER UP.

  637. Candy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:50

    Teh Ghey Pirates are yesterday’s concern for Eugene; apparently, CPAC is now under attack by the Radical Homasexshul Agenda infliltrators!

    Well, they DO exist and they are taking advantage of the alcohol parties at CPAC to poison the minds and pollute the bodies of young conservatives who are still too naïve to know what is being done to them,” – Eugene Delgaudio, President of the Public Advocate of the U.S., warning about GOProud in a fundraising email.

  638. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:56

    In my experience, people who are self-proclaimed “students of history” tend to be ignorant assholes trying to paint a scholarly veneer over their untested prejudices.

    In my experience, people who proclaim themselves “students of history” tend to be military history nerds (not a bad thing in itself) who subscribe to the theory that all of history worth knowing involves war.

    Basically, people who can tell you every possible variation of a MiG-29′s combat payload but couldn’t find Moscow on a map if you spotted them “Western Russia” and “Moskva River.”

  639. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:57

    “When I say ‘poetry’ I do not mean ‘crass limericks by DKW or Substance’.”

    BLASPHEMY!

  640. Chris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 17:59

    Well, they DO exist and they are taking advantage of the alcohol parties at CPAC to poison the minds and pollute the bodies of young conservatives who are still too naïve to know what is being done to them,” – Eugene Delgaudio, President of the Public Advocate of the U.S., warning about GOProud in a fundraising email.

    According to people who went there in the last couple years, there were CPAC funders buying drinks for underage girls. I suppose you can whitewash that crime against Prohibition by saying that the funders were Teh Ghey.

  641. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:01

    Chris said at 17:56

    Yes. This. Exactly.

  642. Candy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:05

    Someone should start feeding Eugene tips about various conservative groups being taken over by Teh Ghey. The resulting fapping frenzy would be a virtual goldmine of entertainment.

    I wonder if Eugene trolls Gay Putzriot.

  643. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:06

    Shorter Powerline link:

    I am very, very uncomfortable with buttsex. Probably because the thought of it titillates me so.

  644. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:06

    The pirates fierce did don their boots
    Of gleaming Spanish leather
    Athwart the gunwales did they leap
    To see their good friend Heather.

    Heather ran a gay bar themed
    Just like a pirate song
    Except for the electric bull
    And black lights in the john.

    Now Heather was a big man, and
    He took no prisoners home
    Captured he a pirate
    It was straight to the pleasure dome.

    Pleasure dome, O pleasure dome
    It was straight to the pleasure dome.

    Well Sandy was a bonny pirate lad
    With boots up to his thighs
    His sword as long as the yardarm
    His yard of a similar size.

    And so one eve the pirates came
    And descended they on Heather
    Clad in vests and hotpants
    So humid was the weather.

    Clad in vests and hotpants
    So humid was the weather.

    …There’s more, but these traditional songs just go on and on, and plus Egypt, wow.

  645. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:08

    I don’t doubt that CPAC is a hot-spot for anonymous gay hookups, but what are all of these under-aged students doing at the alcohol parties?

  646. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:11

    Now I’m hoping for some kind of reality show where Tim Gunn and the guy from What Not to Wear help aspiring Breitbarts develop talking points and fashion sense.

    Tim Gunn would never go for it. He knows conservatives can never make anything work.

  647. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:12

    He knows conservatives can never make anything work.

    Win.

  648. Mysticdog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:51

    I’ve been waiting for someone to compare the Egyptian celebration with Iraqi statue kubuki dance.

  649. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:51

    I’m finally caught up! Mostly I’ve been listening to 45 minutes of music links I bypassed while locked into Egypt. (I so admire these people, especially the young men who stood their ground at Tahrir during the night assault on the 29th.)

    Thanks so much, VS, for your kind words and encouragement. I’ve wanted to try blogging. Maybe I can summon the courage to try it.

    On the music: Dynamite stuff! So I’ll risk a longer appreciative post to respond to them.

    Smedley: I loved the Enesco. (19:14) I’ve heard it before, but didn’t remember the composer or title. Now I do!

    B^4: ‘Guns’ and ska! (2:39) Who would have thought it could work so well? I especially liked the trumpet work.

    Pedestian (3:05): Liked ‘em both. Great lyric in the Bessie Smith song: “Give me a reefer and gin.” 77 years ago. Time to legalize it.

    Jennifer: Sheee-it, loves me some John Lee Hooker, too. (About a week ago I linked to JL-Bonnie Riatt duet.) George Thorogood liked him a great deal, too, and covers his work very well. (‘Bourbon, Scotch, Beer’) [Forgot to note the timecode, but you'll find near the others.]

    Bughunter (3:12 & 2:27): Saving the best for last. I absolutely love Stevie Ray! Pure. Genius. (I even incorporated his name into my pool-shooting moniker…) He punctuates Albert King’s singing so perfectly. And the backup was so tight, too. Double Trouble?

    And now that I’m caught up, I’ve gotta run off again! (I do volunteer work in the recording studio of the Maryland State Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped. My shift starts in 35 minutes.)

  650. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:53

    Well, they DO exist and they are taking advantage of the alcohol parties at CPAC to poison the minds and pollute the bodies of young conservatives who are still too naïve to know what is being done to them,”

    i am going to go out on a limb here and surmise that eugene’s first experience with alcohol did not involve shagging chicks…i’m guessing he woke up feeling a hangover, a sore butt and/or throat, and some vague, but not unpleasant memories…

  651. jim said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:55

    Mubarak resigns.

    Wonder if someone in the Army finally asked him straight-up which he preferred to keep, his job or his head?

    aspiring Breitbarts

    “Aiming too high” is plainly not a problem here.

  652. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:56

    Tim Gunn would never go for it. He knows conservatives can never make anything work

    a win AND a snort…

  653. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:56

    Follow up for Bug: IMO, Stevie Ray was the best Texas Blues player that ever lived. The best Chicago Blues player? Well, I like Buddy Guy for that ….

  654. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:57

    Maybe I can summon the courage to try it.
    i believe your direct superior, Capt. Morgan can help you with this…

  655. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 18:58

    I do volunteer work in the recording studio of the Maryland State Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped. My shift starts in 35 minutes

    That reminds me, I have a couple of seriously overdue quadriplegics checked out of our local library.

  656. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:00

    (I do volunteer work in the recording studio of the Maryland State Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped. My shift starts in 35 minutes.)
    and you are awesome!
    That reminds me, I have a couple of seriously overdue quadriplegics checked out of our local library
    and you are funny…disturbed, but funny…

  657. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:02

    compare the Egyptian celebration with Iraqi statue kubuki dance.

    as a student of history, i will say that the egyptians notably have better dancing skillz than the iraqis…

  658. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:07

    as a student of history, i will say that the egyptians notably have better dancing skillz than the iraqis…

    Better clubs. So to speak.

  659. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:07

    Better clubs. So to speak.

    heh…

  660. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:15

    Did somebody mention Stevie?

  661. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:21

    i am going to go out on a limb here and surmise that eugene’s first experience with alcohol did not involve shagging chicks

    This being the internet, I will speculate even more wildly. He strikes me as the kind of guy who did the self-loathing closet case routine throughout his youth – he spouted old-time religion, but let himself “slip” from time to time. Then as his hair began to gray and his neck begins to sag, suddenly the young guys weren’t so interested anymore. Most gay guys his age have settled down with their soul-mate, or at the very least had some meaningful relationships and developed a little maturity. But he is stuck with an adolescent libido in an old man’s body. Instead of blaming the ideology of hatred that prevented him from developing into a full human being, he feels betrayed by “gay culture”, which he believes seduced him and then discarded him.

    All of his hate and paranoia is partially concern for the young people who he fears will end up as unhappy and unfulfilled as he is, but mostly bitter jealously for all the “underage students” who can still get laid.

  662. Mysticdog said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:22

    That reminds me, I have a couple of seriously overdue quadriplegics checked out of our local library

    Can’t we have one thread without coming back to Boxing Helena? We can never have anything nice…

  663. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:34

    That reminds me, I have a couple of seriously overdue quadriplegics checked out of our local library

    The fines will cost you an arm and a leg.

  664. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:39

    teh gheys just stir up trouble wherever they go even posthumously…

  665. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:39

    [GROAN]

  666. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:49

    T&U (if you are around), does your blog take its name from this?

    Acoustic Kitty was a CIA project launched by the Directorate of Science & Technology in the 1960s attempting to use cats in spy missions. A battery and a microphone were implanted into a cat and an antenna into its tail. Due to problems with distraction, the cat’s sense of hunger had to be addressed in another operation. Surgical and training expenses are thought to have amounted to over $20 million.

    The first cat mission was eavesdropping on two men in a park outside the Soviet compound on Wisconsin Avenue in Washington, D.C. The cat was released nearby, but was hit and killed by a taxi almost immediately. Shortly thereafter the project was considered a failure and declared to be a total loss.[1]

  667. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:52

    I like this pic of Eugene. Easy to ‘shop the companion.

  668. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 19:59

    I like this pic of Eugene. Easy to ‘shop the companion.

    I had to google pics of Jeff Gannon to make sure that wasn’t Jeff Gannon. And I did NOT want to see more pictures of Jeff Gannon!

  669. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:00

    The cat was released nearby, but was hit and killed by a taxi almost immediately. Shortly thereafter the project was considered a failure and declared to be a total loss.

    so, it was a cat-astrophe…

  670. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:06

    oh, come on! i make one lousy little pun and the thread dies?!?!

  671. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:10

    or are you all still laffing?

  672. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:12

    There’s no need to cauterwaul about it…

  673. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:13

    Can’t we have one thread without coming back to Boxing Helena?

    You’ve got a problem with Australians?

  674. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:13

    Or caterwaul either, for that matter…

    fucking spelling, how does it work?

  675. Boris Badenov said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:14

    The cat was released nearby, but was hit and killed by a taxi almost immediately. Shortly thereafter the project was considered a failure and declared to be a total loss.

    Aha! See Natasha, nobody suspected our super seecret acoustic kitty interception dewice. I told you taxi cab was great disguise.

  676. rodertrudis said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:16

    Oz sez, Viva Egipto!

    The house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch
    It landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch
    Which was not a healty situation for the wicked witch!
    The house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch
    It landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch
    Which was not a healthy situation for the wicked witch
    Who began to twitch, and was reduced to just a stitch
    Of what was once the wicked witch!

    We thank you very sweetly for doing it so neatly

    You’ve killed her so completely,
    That we thank you very sweetly

    Let the joyous news be spread
    The wicked, old witch at last is dead

    Thank you, Harold Arlen

  677. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:19

    There’s no need to cauterwaul about it…

    marion, you don’t pussy foot around, do you?

  678. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:20

    Little time today. Two items to share:

    1 – a href=”http://news.yahoo.com/s/theweek/212006 = Guns for Dongs [FYWP - some URLs just won't with /anchor tags here]

    2 – Variants, you’ve nailed why AK&SRV: In Session is my fave Blues album. That and their individual talent.

    Oh, and the more I think about it, the more I dont understand why DKW thinks 1) I think I won the internets and 2) that a cliche comeback so obvious it happened twice is a hole in one. Really just hoping to find another R.A.W. fan to talk to. (I took care of the asativic condition. I know some musicians…) Many people find him tedious, though.

    OK – only time for one today.

  679. Boris Badenov said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:22

    Random music Friday.

  680. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:22

    OK – only time for one today.

    apparently the variants has access to some sort of s,n! methodone…

  681. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:23

    also, i am on crack…that was bug who has the stamina to walk away…

  682. Marion in Savannah said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:24

    marion, you don’t pussy foot around, do you?

    I just hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s felines… Some people can be SO sensitive.

  683. Arolpin said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:25

    It’s purrfectly fine.

  684. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:26

    I just hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s felines… Some people can be SO sensitive.

    oh, i am not that type of persian at all! gee, this is fun isn’t it? no wonder the boys do it incessantly!

  685. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:27

    Boris Badenov said,

    plus

    Random music Friday.

    Made me think immediately of this. The late, lamented WLIR actually used to play this, back when there were no KIDS ON MAH DAMN LAWN!!!!

  686. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:27

    The guy that designed that accoustic kitty wasn’t, by chance, named Schrodinger?

  687. Candy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:28

    Off topic, but I just had the pure-d joy of reducing a wingnut to the LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL stage on a friend’s FB page.

    His last comment: ” Yipppppeeeee yi yaaaaaaay!!! Mother Fuckers!!!”

    Ahhhhhh. My work there is done.

  688. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:30

    Random music Friday.

    Okay then.

  689. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:31

    Welcome back Candy, if it’s that Candy.

  690. Candy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:37

    Yep, I’m that Candy. Hi Substance! I lurk around, just don’t say much these days.

  691. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:38

    Oh, and the more I think about it, the more I dont understand why DKW thinks 1) I think I won the internets and 2) that a cliche comeback so obvious it happened twice is a hole in one.

    I’m angling for an introduction to your hawt aunt that’s into all the kink so’s I can something something twice is a hole in one.

  692. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:38

    I lurk around, just don’t say much these days.

    cat got your tongue?

  693. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:41

    These cat puns have me feline down.

  694. Candy said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:42

    Cat’s got my tongue, and Zuckerberg’s got my soul. I spend way too much time on FB.

    FYWP. I swear, I don’t think WP wants me to comment.

  695. Another Kiwi said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:43

    Hey!, she’s just having a paws. Sheesh

    Also I’m going to smash the touchpad on my laptop with a fucking big hammer soon. Just sayin’

  696. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:45

    I’m angling for an introduction to your hawt aunt

    The aunt is a trout?

  697. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:46

    Also I’m going to smash the touchpad on my laptop with a fucking big hammer soon.

    This will probably not help. (BTW, I thought you were having better luck with it.)

  698. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:47

    Canadian content.

  699. Thread Bear said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:47

    Another from former Prince band members.

  700. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:47

    I keep trying to think of a cat pun but I guess it’s not tabby.

  701. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:49

    a porcelain cat creamer

    I usually use a couple of butter knives.

  702. Another Kiwi said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:52

    I was having better luck with it. It has stopped randomly diving back into what I’ve written so that I type broken sentences in the past, at least. I am old and crotchety, is all

  703. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:52

    <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&quot; TITLE="Well, maybe not so random"Random Music Fridays you say?

  704. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:53

    These cat puns have me feline down.

    well, at least you are not as down as this kitty

  705. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:53

    FYWP! and Preview too. Yes, I allcaps TITLE. I dunno why.

    Random Music Fridays you say?

  706. El Manquésito said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:55

    Canadian content.

    Is not sufficient warning for the horrors contained.

  707. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 20:56

    Attempt to fool me once, shame on you. Attempt to fool me twice after you fucked up the first time, HAHAHA. Also.

  708. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:00

    The aunt is a trout?

    I hear she’s an expert at fly fishing.

  709. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:01

    well, at least you are not as down as this kitty

    Dead at 72-DDD.

  710. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:02

    a porcelain cat creamer

    I usually use a couple of butter knives.

    BWAHAHAHAHA

  711. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:06

    LEAFS SUCKian content.

  712. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:06

    TGIF.

  713. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:09

    Random music, you say?

  714. El Manquésito said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:12

    Warning: Irish content

  715. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:12

    Thread needs MOAR LEDERNACKEN!!!

  716. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:12

    Jesus. Someone give the hammies some sugar water.

    CRANK THIS SHIT UP..

  717. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:19

    smut clyde said,

    Dibs on Manhattan! We can be princes, man!

    Dibs on Berlin.

    Obligatory, First we Take Manhattan

  718. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:27

    Let this make love sweet love to your earholes this fine Friday afternoon

  719. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:33

    Random music, eh? OK, crank this shit.

  720. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:34

    Obligatory, First we Take Manhattan

    oh, i thought you were going to go with this obligatory reference

  721. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:36

    I thought The Origin of Love was the best song in Hedwig.

  722. smedley said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:37

    Spike Jones? I can’t stand the way he sings, but I love to hear him talk.

  723. Spengler Dampniche, Arthur of Dudley Moore said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:39

    Wow, I was working on a synopsis here and all of a sudden these pirates crashed through the door and brutally sodomized me. Now I totes understand what the conservatards are talking about. It’s NO JOKE, PEOPLE.

  724. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:41

    I thought The Origin of Love was the best song in Hedwig.

    Me too. Angry Inch just seemed a better fit with the previously posted vids.

  725. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:42

    The title of that Goldfrapp song put this in mah brain. I had no idea these guys were European- I always figured it was some NY or LA studio guy’s side project.

  726. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:42

    PM: A-HEM.

  727. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:45

    Interesting. I thought Cameron Mitchell had written the music for “Hedwig.” I guess this guy did. Damn decent glam-rock soundtrack. Damn decent.

  728. Jennifer said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:46

    The continuing story of Miles Cowperthwaite’s adventures aboard The Raging Queen:

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “Perhaps this isn’t the routine of an ordinary sailor: floggings, stockings, key haulings, kneeling on our knuckles, having things dropped on our heads, being pushed down stairs, and so on. But occasionally, there would be time for activities such as steering the ship, and trying to make the sails fill up with wind. Captain Ned took a warm, personal interest in my welfare, and if a night was stormy, or even mildy choppy, he would ocme to my cabin to comfort me.”

    [ Captain Ned enters Miles' room as he prays beside his bed ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh. Captain Ned.

    Captain Ned: [ grinning ] Hello, Miles. Uh.. I was worried that you might be.. “frightened” by the masty weather.. [ unbuttons the top of his pajamas ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: But, Captain Ned, sir, it is perfectly calm tonight!

    Captain Ned: Just so.. with the stormy weather we’ve been having lately, I was afraid this.. sudden calm might alarm you. Because I’ve seen grown men – manly men, in the full pride of their mahood, grow white with terror on serene, tranquil nights as this!

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh, that is very kind of you, sir.. [ chuckles nervously ]

    [ Captain Ned blows out the candle besides Miles' bed, leaving the room in total darkness ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “So dangerously flaccid did that night become, thus Captain Ned remained in my cabin to reassure me until dawn, when we were aroused by a shout from Mr. Spunk..”

    First Mate Spunk: [ peering through telescope ] Land ahoy! Land ahoy! Oh, my God, I don’t know.. oh, it might be land, maybe it’s another boat.. Oh, daft, it might me a cloud! No, I can’t tell, this damn thing is torturing me. Oh, maybe it’s a cloud, I’m not sure, oh dear!

    Captain Ned: [ walking up ] Mr. Spunk! Have you spied land?

    First Mate Spunk: I’m not sure! Somebody else get up here and look! If I say it’s land, and we make for it and it’s not, I’ll get yelled for it!

    Captain Ned: Alright! [ peers through telescope ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “What Mr. Spunk had sighted was not land at all, but a small, open boat. Which, upon closer inspection, was found to contain two remarkable passengers.”

    [ two women climb onboard The Raging Queen ]

    Captain Ned: [ greeting them ] I am Captain Ned, of The Raging Queen! Tell me.. are there any males with you?

    Madeline Warrington: No. Just my sister and I.

    Ruth Warrington: Yes. My name is Ruth Warrington. This is my sister Madeline. We were crossing the West Indies, when pirates seized our ship. They took our entire crew prisoners.

    Captain Ned: [ thinking ] Hmm.. Uh.. can you tell me, were these pirates manly and verile?

    Madeline Warrington: They were contemptible animals, who subjected our ship’s crew to the most unspeakable torture!

    First Mate Spunk: Do you suppose these pirates might still be anywhere in the area.

    Ruth Warrington: Yes. I’m afraid they may yet be very close..

    Captain Ned: I see. [ runs to address his crew ] Men! There are pirates in these waters! Pirates who inflict hideous punishment to those who fall into their hands! [ crew oohs ] Now, we can turn tail and run. Or, we can take the many course, that which our manhood demands! Find these despots of discipline, and comfort them! What is your answer!!

    Crew: Find the pirates!!

    Captain Ned: So it will be done! Stand by to incur the waters!

    [ crew wave out to see, in search of the pirates ]

  729. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:49

    PM: A-HEM.

    You’ll get a sinus infection!

  730. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:51

    KISS.

  731. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 21:58

    KISS ARMY!!!!

    True story: I was little…really little when KISS was in its heyday…and their album covers scared the shit out of me.

  732. N__B said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:04

    True story: I was little…really little when KISS was in its heyday…and their album covers scared the shit out of me.

    And ever since then, you’ve been unable to use white pancake makeup?

  733. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:07

    Gee, who was the shadow?

  734. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:11

    And ever since then, you’ve been unable to use white pancake makeup?

    It’s hard to indulge in my clown geisha fetish role-playing without it.

  735. Thread Bear said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:15

    I’m angling for an introduction to your hawt aunt

    A Shel Silverstein poem, I just realized that it’s about D-KW:

    A genuine anteater
    The pet man told my dad
    Turned out to be an aunt eater
    And now my uncle’s mad

    Now, I will head for Higher Ground

  736. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:16

    And ever since then, you’ve been unable to use white pancake makeup?

    When I was a child I was forced to participate in an organization (which apparently still exists) called Clowns for Jesus. This, and not Steven King, is the reason that I am deathly afraid of pancake makeup to this very day.

  737. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:20

    Clowns win.

  738. Thread Bear said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:21

    When I was a child I was forced to participate in an organization (which apparently still exists) called Clowns for Jesus.

    Here in Florida we have Radical Homosexual Clowns. The balloon animal bit can be quite… educational.

  739. Lurking Canadian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:22

    Gee, who was the shadow?

    Lamont Cranston. SASQ.

  740. The Dread Pirate Gobblerts said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:25

    Oh, hey, bug,

    It dawned on me yesterday that the anglebracketfail was due to the lack of a semicolon at the end of your ascii bits.

    &lt = < with semicolon

    &#60 = < with…

    etc.

    Seems WP is picky like that while preview works from what your browser will see.

  741. The Dread Pirate Gobblerts said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:26

    Yes, that’s what the kids are calling it these days.

  742. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:46

    Clowns for Jesus

    i believe they are now called the moral majority…

  743. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:56

    Convenient but sadly, not nearly as tasty or nutritious.

  744. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:58

    Here in Florida we have Radical Homosexual Clowns. The balloon animal bit can be quite… educational.

    Any relation to these folks?

    Also, FYWP

  745. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 22:58

    Convenient but sadly, not nearly as tasty or nutritious.

    i’m guessing they wouldn’t be as filling as the real deal…

  746. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:00

    Convenient but sadly, not nearly as tasty or nutritious.

    also, i can imagine the momentary discomfiture at the first pro-life tea party they are served at…hmmmm, to eat the fetus or not eat the fetus…

  747. smut clyde said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:00

    Inquiring minds are wondering whether Fire in Cairo is a conservative song and therefore permissable to enjoy.

  748. VS said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:01

    “i believe they are now called the moral majority…”

    ZING!

  749. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:03

    ZING!

    …thank you very much…i’ll be here all week!

  750. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:16

    Gay gay GAYE!

  751. Nymstradamus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:22

    OT: Shorter Shrieking Harpy: We hate Egyptians for their freedom:

    http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/02/egypt-mubarak-ge ller-mosque-cpac

  752. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:22

    Can’t stand it? Love it.

  753. Nymstradamus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:23

    Shorter Nymstradamus: I hate WP because I do:

    http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/02/egypt-mubarak-ge ller-mosque-cpac

  754. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:24

    You want this: http://motherjones.com/transition/inter.php?dest=http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/02/egypt-mubarak-geller-mosque-cpac

  755. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:30

    also something very gay from nym’s link

  756. Nymstradamus said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:30

    Thanks Sub! Although “want” is overstating the case.

  757. vs said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:32

    Oh my. Someone’s trying to de-Gellar herself through the use of surgery.

    And note to Pam: that hairstyle is better-suited to steatopygian reality stars, not women in their 50′s.

  758. bbkf said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:47

    “We are witnessing a complete seismic shift in the direction of the world away from freedom,”

    so all the egyptians rejoicing in the streets are in for a big surprise?

    And note to Pam: that hairstyle is better-suited to steatopygian reality stars, not women in their 50?s.

    she is hoping to audtion for the ‘real housewives of sharia law’

  759. pedestrian said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:53

    We are witnessing a complete seismic shift in the direction of the world away from our freedom to dictate our will to brutally oppressed brown people.

    Fqsd.

  760. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:53

    A Secret Life.

  761. tigris said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:59

    When I was a child I was forced to participate in an organization (which apparently still exists) called Clowns for Jesus.

    OMG, me too. Thanks be to Blob the pastor leading the group at our church lost interest really quickly.

    And on music, my current obsession. Good for a nice, slow V2 skate rhythm.

  762. bughunter said,

    February 11, 2011 at 23:59

    lack of a semicolon at the end of your ascii bits

    Yea, I figured that out when creating a copyright symbol yesterday using the unicode conversion tool that you(?) linked to earlier, although I didn’t bookmark that here at home – link again pls?

  763. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:05

    vs sed: steatopygian

    Seeing that word used does for my brain what PENIS does for my naughty bits. Long been one of my favorite obscure words.

  764. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:06

    :sı ʇı ǝɹǝɥ

    http://mikezilla.com/exp0012.html

  765. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:07

    And on music, my current obsession.

    What does it say that the entirety of Before and After Science is and always has been on my iPod?

  766. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:07

    Not so random, but very gay:

    I went balling the other night,
    started drinking and got real tight.
    I blew each and all my friends,
    Felt so good I had to blow again.

    Jake, we miss ya man. :,|

  767. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:09

    Seeing that word used does for my brain what PENIS does for my naughty bits.

    The word callipygous will do both.

  768. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:11

    Well it’s about fucking time.

    Williams announced the grand-jury indictment of one of former Archbishop Cardinal Anthony Bevilacqua’s top aides for allegedly endangering children by shielding pedophile priests from detection and shuffling them into unsuspecting parishes where they could continue the perversions of which they are accused.

    It’s believed to be the first time a high-ranking Catholic official has been accused of being criminally accountable for covering up priest abuse.

    Monsignor William Lynn, 60, was charged with two counts of endangering the welfare of a child. As Bevilacqua’s secretary for clergy, he was the Archdiocese’s personnel director and responsible for investigating reports of priest sexual abuse from 1992 until 2004.

    Grand jurors had aimed even higher, saying that Bevilacqua may have been involved in the coverup.

  769. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:11

    And ecdysiast, also. Too.

  770. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:12

    The word callipygous will do both.

    I can verify that.

  771. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:12

    Related.

  772. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:13

    Oh boy! Random Music Friday! The guys in the band want to expand our repetoire, so feed us some nifty stuff. We’re gonna listen to every single one all the way through.

    Also, Joey don’t know shit about rap, but we’re gonna make him listen to it.

    —–

    News item: Switzerland has frozen Mubarak’s assets. He is reported to be worth about $70 Billion.

    (Better: Mubarak has $70B. He’s only worth about 25 cents and 12 boxtops.)

  773. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:15

    “Seeing that word used does for my brain what PENIS does for my naughty bits.”

    ;) I talk real gud some daze.

  774. tigris said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:16

    “We are witnessing a complete seismic shift in the direction of the world away from freedom,”

    Well, corrupt, never elected in a free and fair election President formerly for life Mubarak will have a lot more free time for stuff now.

  775. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:17

    Perhaps Danny Elfman’s most underrated work.

    Trivia: at 0:28 the guy on the left works in porn now. Up to his neck in it, in fact.

  776. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:18

    Go!

  777. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:20

    ” Up to his neck in it, in fact.”

    Doin’ it rong.

  778. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:21

    And ecdysiast, also. Too.

    Well now, let me tell you a little story. I was in the green room pre Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me (courtesy the Ho who set up the event and was doing the introduction) when Roy Blount Jr. (who had just published or was just about to publish Alphabet Juice: The Energies, Gists, and Spirits of Letters, Words, and Combinations Thereof: Their Roots, Bones, Innards, Piths, Pips, and Secret Parts, Tinctures, Tonics, and Essences; With Examples of Their Usage Foul and Savory used the word in conversation. I don’t recall which other panelist asked “ecdysiast?” I promptly spelled it, spelling bee style. “It’s from Greek” I said. Roy looked at me and said that no, he was pretty sure it had Latin roots. “With a ‘y?” I asked incredulously. PWNED!

    /auto_back_patting

  779. tigris said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:26

    What does it say that the entirety of Before and After Science is and always has been on my iPod?

    Yeah, mine too – it’s pretty great.

  780. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:31

    Speaking of etymology, one of my favorite “big boy” words is “copacetic”. I’ve heard it in many contexts, usually from someone who expects you to be impressed cuz it sounds all Latin ‘n shit. In fact it is slang of African American origin.

  781. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:34

    Hipsters doing country music.

  782. M. Bouffant said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:35

    Music, hah! As I type I am listening not to your pre-recorded pre-fab yada but a schoolchild (I assume) somewhere in the outside world practicing the violin.

  783. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:36

    iTunes Random Selection: Buffalo Daughter

  784. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:44

    Speaking of callipygous

  785. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:47

    Orrin Hatch is deeply sorry for trying to avert total economic collapse, and would vote differently if given the chance, assuming that his vote would not change the outcome.

  786. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:52

    Tony Levin is my favorite bassist, and this album scorches.

  787. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:53

    When I was a child I was forced to participate in an organization (which apparently still exists) called Clowns for Jesus.

    Whoa, you were a Juggalo?

  788. smut clyde said,

    February 12, 2011 at 0:54

    Strippers.
    At last I am part of the machinery.

  789. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:01

    Ecdysozoa (pronounced /??kd?s??zo?.?/) is a group of protostome animals,… They were first defined …, based mainly on trees constructed using 18S ribosomal RNA genes.18S ribosomal RNA genes
    Fucking 18S ribosomal genes, how do they work?

  790. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:01

    More random itunes: Laurie Anderson, Blue Lagoon from Mister Heartbreak.

  791. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:03

    Yay Laurie Anderson.

  792. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:04

    Strippers.

    Waterbears for the win!

  793. exford legs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:05

    For Friday random music, it’s gotta be Lougah François

  794. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:07

    feel the cut of THE KNIFE!!!!I always thought the guitarist they brought in to play on this album was amazing.

  795. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:07

    Orrin Hatch is deeply sorry for trying to avert total economic collapse, and would vote differently if given the chance, assuming that his vote would not change the outcome.

    I imagine that “buyers’ remorse” for funding the Tea Party is setting in among the GOP establishment. Fucking fuckers are fucking fucked!

  796. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:07

    Whoa, you were a Juggalo?

    HAH! I never heard about this, but there was a kid in my Christian youth group who was really into ICP. Why does the Guardian have such a hard time reconciling Evangelical beliefs with violence and misogyny? It’s like wondering how a person could be both racist and Republican.

  797. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:12

    Someone Keeps Moving My Chair

    (I resisted the temptation to override the shuffle and choose “Particle Man” instead.)

  798. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:12

    Why does the Guardian have such a hard time reconciling Evangelical beliefs with violence and misogyny?

    I think the writer’s having fun making ICP try to justify it. It’s a classic.

  799. exford legs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:17

    Also, four Sydneysiders and a regrettable trip to the hairdresser.

    There is a reason why Jodi Phyllis always looks at the camera straight on. Which reminds me of a comedienne I heard recently:

    ‘Yeah, I’m a quarter jewish. Check the nose. Some people say I look like a young Anne Frank.. Not there was an old Anne Frank.’

  800. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:23

    “Knock knock.”
    “Who’s there?”

    Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

  801. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:24

    Skid Row.

  802. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:24

    Sorry, no more Anne Frank jokes, I promise. You’d think I’d learn after the abortion jokes landed like a dead baby.

  803. smut clyde said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:25

    Waterbears for the win!

    Right number of legs, but somehow I was expecting Sleipner to be larger.

  804. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:33

    Wait. We’re supposed to be linking wev our iTunes shuffles up? Okay, but don’t larf at my derivative musical tastes too hard – it was tough finding a YouTube link for this one.

  805. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:34

    No joking, this was next.

  806. exford legs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:37

    We were pickin’ mangoes,

    For Tintin’s fandangoes,

    When I picked a blushing bride!

  807. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:38

    Boo hoo, no Quickspace video for Munchers No Munchers.

  808. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:40

    Right number of legs, but somehow I was expecting Sleipner to be larger.

    Odin is real, real small. The Jotuns? Each one could fit in a demitasse cup- some giants.

  809. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:44

    There is a reason why Jodi Phyllis always looks at the camera straight on.

    I thought it was because of the Parasaurolophian crest on the back of her noggin.

  810. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:46

    DK-W, I can see you liking this chick…and, you know, thinking she’s hot. And wanting to do her. And her mother.

  811. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:49

    This thread needs moar Megalodon!

  812. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:53

    Yeah, but can you say that in Klingon?

  813. exford legs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 1:55

    Megalodon –

    Ok

  814. vs said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:00

    “[Blood and Pain will rule the day]”

    Hercule’s on the rag.

  815. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:02

    Mastodon toured with Dethklok.

  816. Jennifer said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:04

    And now the conclusion of Chapter Two of The Adventures of Miles Cowperthwaite, in which his time aboard The Raging Queen comes to an end:

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “Despite six months spent in the endevour, our search for the pirates proved unsuccessful. And so at length we put into port at Key West, where we took on a supply of omelet pans and did the costumes for a production of ‘Take Her, She’s Mine’. These were pleasant times. With Captain Ned ashore buying melons, discipline was less severe, and his trips to my cabin to comfort me less frequent. One night, however, as I lay in bed writing a letter to Lord Pinckley, I heard an unfamilair knock at my door.”

    [ a knock at the door ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Come in?

    [ the Warrington sisters enter ]

    Ruth Warrington: Hello, Miles. We came to see if you were alright.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh.

    Madeline Warrington: Yes. We were worried that the cool sea air, combined with the saltiness of the spray, and the closeness of ships in the harbor might have alarmed you.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh. Well, that’s very kind of you, but I’m not frightened! Are you alright?

    Ruth Warrington: Well.. these past six months at sea aboard The Raging Queen have been somewhat frightening.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Begging your pardon, ma’am.. but have any of the men on board.. well.. tried to take liberties with you.

    Madeline Warrington: No. No, not really.

    Ruth Warrington: No. We haven’t been harmed at all.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: [ happy ] Oh! Well, ma’am, I suspect that’s due to the discipline Captain Ned employs on this ship! For this crew is an unsavory lot!

    Madeline Warrington: Yes, I suspect so. [ removing clothes ] Hey, Miles, it is terribly hot in here!

    Ruth Warrington: Isn’t it, Madeline? [ removes her clothes as well ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh, it’s alright for me!

    Madeline Warrington: Perhaps we can comfort you, then, Miles?

    [ Captain Ned enters; the girls jump up ]

    Captain Ned: Hello, Miles.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh! Captain Ned!

    Captain Ned: Hello, Miss Warrington. Miss Warrington. Miles, I hurried back, as, uh.. I was afraid that the excitement of the last several months at sea, combined with the change of seasons might have alarmed you.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: Oh, that’s very kind of you, Captain..

    Ruth Warrington: Excuse me, Captain, but we were comforting Miles.

    Madeline Warrington: Wait! Perhaps we can all comfort Miles!

    [ a look of distress falls upon Miles' face ]

    Captain Ned: Very well. I see nothing unmanly in that.

    [ the three of them undress and climb into Miles' bed ]

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: “Of all that I have suffered since going to sea, nothing could compare to the constant comforting of Captain Ned and the Warrington sisters. And I resolved to escape from The Raging Queen at the first opportunity.” ]

    [ show Miles walking across the ship in disguise ]

    “One night, while the crew was below doing exercises to flatten their stomachs, I stole the Second Mate’s coat, collected my few belongings, and lowered myself over the mast.”

    [ Miles jumps overboard ]

    “A war took place after I hit the water. I have very little recollection. I was evidently quite ill for a very long time, and the next thing I remember seeing was the friendly face of Dr. Pierce.”

    Dr. Pierce: He’s coming around..

    Ruth Warrington: Oh, thank God!

    Miles Cowperthwaite: [ dazed ] Where am I?

    Madeline Warrington: You’re back on board The Raging Queen, Miles.

    Dr. Pierce: Yes. You were very lucky. One of the crew saw you fall overboard.

    Ruth Warrington: Captain Ned will be so relieved. He’s been with you every moment, Miles.. comforting you.

    Dr. Pierce: Well, Miles, I suspect you’ll be strong enough to go under the knife in a couple of days, huh?

    Miles Cowperthwaite: [ worried ] What?! What do you mean, Dr. Pierce?!

    Dr. Pierce: The legs, Miles. I’m afraid they’ll have to come off. Now, I’ve only got one pegleg aboard, but I can get you a nice hook for the bottom of this left knee. As soon as we reach port, we’ll go shopping for a nice wooden one.

    Miles Cowperthwaite: But, sir! Must I lose my legs?

    Dr. Pierce: I’m afriad so, Miles. When we pulled you out of the water, your legs were.. soaking wet.

    Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: From the moment I learned that Dr. Pierce has designs on my legs, I decided to repeat my attempt at escape whatever the risk involved.

    [ show Miles sneaking across the ship in disguise ]

    The very next morning, after one final night of comforting from Captain Ned, I once more stowed out of my cabin and lowered myself over the side, this time completely undetected.

    [ Miles jumps overboard ]

    And so my term of service at sea had come to an end. Once again, I found myself quite alone in the world, with little capitol and few prospects. Of the details of my escape from The Raging Queen, as well as my adventures subsequent thereto, the reader shall learn in my next chapter: ‘I Am Eaten By Sharks’.”

  817. low sodium hunchback said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:12

    Tampa and Maceo

  818. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:12

    “[Blood and Pain will rule the day]”

    Skipping over the screed, I saw this as “Blood and Palin will rule the day”.

    LEAVE HERCULE TRIG SAVINIEN ALONE!!!!

  819. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:14

    Might one proffer ones grateful thanks for the adventures of Miles Cowperthwaite? They have been of much comfort to me in a unsettled period of hour changes.

  820. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:16

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVARIN demands a fine cup of coffee.

  821. Jennifer said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:20

    They have been of much comfort to me in a unsettled period of hour changes.

    This is only as it should be, for if The Adventures of Miles Cowperthwaite is about anything, it’s about being comforted. Over, and over, and over again, in a completely manly, masculine way.

  822. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:25

    Someone needs to bring some class into this.

  823. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:27

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVARIN demands a fine cup of coffee.

    Linky no worky. Broke.

  824. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:39

    Fear is the key, innit?

  825. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:39

    Someone needs to bring some class into this.

    I can vouch for her man. He’s very handy.

  826. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:39

    DK-W, I can see you liking this chick…and, you know, thinking she’s hot. And wanting to do her. And her mother.

    Just got back from being in my bunk, did I miss anything?

  827. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:39

    Linky no worky. Broke.

    It was just the dapper, Panama hatted Savarin coffee d00d.

    Savarin Man is no Suntory Coffee Boss, though.

  828. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:43

    Savarin Man is no Suntory Coffee Boss, though.

    That is a wonderful logo. I followed the words around many times, expecting it to say something more.

  829. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:45

    Or is it… Boss Coffee?

  830. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:46

    That is a wonderful logo. I followed the words around many times, expecting it to say something more.

    That’s how the Boss sucks you in… NOW GET TO WORK!!!

  831. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:47

    Or is it… Boss Coffee?

    Well, IT is Boss Coffee.
    HE is Coffee Boss.

  832. Jennifer said,

    February 12, 2011 at 2:51

    Not one of my top blues icons, but certainly one of the most memorable blues tunes…and this one IMHO is the best version.

  833. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:02

    You know who else is into the blues?
    Yo momma.

  834. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:16

    Random.

  835. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:18

    Via the good Roger Ailes a crazy thing.

  836. Arolpin said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:22

    In re: *The United Federation of Desert [Utah, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Idaho, united under the aegis of the Mormon Church]

    Listen you obese, flatulent douchenozzle, it’s Deseret, there’s another fucking E between the R & the T! If you’re going to spam bullshit, at least take the time to understand what the fuck you are talking about!

  837. Jennifer said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:23

    Hey, you know what would be really awesome?

    If Tampa would schedule the Gay Buccaneer festival next year to coincide with the RNC convention.

  838. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:36

    Just catching up on Around The Net, and OMG Wednesday’s was AWESOME. It had both POOP and PENIS.

  839. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:39

    I rate for the United Federation of Dessert- they got these pies…

    If Tampa would schedule the Gay Buccaneer festival next year to coincide with the RNC convention.

    A toe-tappin’ good time. I’m sure this guy would make the drive.

  840. VS said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:49

    OMG. *spoiler alert*

    That woman was eating her own poo?

    I prolly could have gone my whole life without seeing that…

  841. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:50

    I see that Carey whatsit that Roger Ailes (the good one) links to has the NZ Climate Scientists admit to faking results bollocks, there. Hot Topic explained the real story at the time as I believe some other Blogs of Note did.
    It seems that the festering pile of rotting dingo kidneys is still making the denialist rounds though. They are the victims here, people!!

  842. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:53

    Via the good Roger Ailes a crazy thing.

    Much crazy indeed, but this:

    The term “empowerment” was inspired by the writings of Karl Marx, who viewed peasant women as dual victims of capitalism and patriarchy. The solution, of course, was to embolden the ladies to cast off their conjugal oppressors. In practice, this meant an ample supply of newly liberated female laborers ready to work the fields, the factories, and the mines.

    Sadly, no. In fact, the reverse of true on several levels. First, Marx felt that peasants were incapable of revolution until after they had been proletarianized. He also limited his theory to work in the “public sphere”. Women didn’t factor until they were tapped* as a source of reserve labor, after work had become so deskilled that even a woman could do it. The reduction of fathers, mothers, daughters, etc., to sexless, interchangeable workers was identified as a degrading aspect of capitalism, although also as a cause of the coming revolution that would result in equality.

    Engels wrote a bit more about the links between patriarchy and private property and theorized that the abolition of property would also result in equality between the sexes. But even then in it was peasant->proletarian->revolution->equality, not peasant women overthrowing their husbands. Marxist feminism didn’t come along until the 70s.

  843. APOLLO FLOORWAX MASTODON said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:56

    In these times of Tyranny, my Own Doctor [part of the Conspiracy] has attempted to Force me to take Medication based upon a Zionist medical text that suggests I am [viz] DSM-IV 297.1 (grandiose subtype) when of course I’m actually Tusk Matterhorn, Secret Agent and Master of Many Skillz. THIS AGGRESSION SHALL NOT STAND.

  844. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:57

    * aw yeah

  845. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 3:58

    This just in Even more fuckingfuckheaded.

    Treadgold makes no allowances for missing data, makes no attempt to create a valid composite series, simply averages the numbers and plots them on a graph. There are a lot of gaps in the data — especially in the early years — so the “NZ” temperature is in some years just Dunedin, or Dunedin plus Wellington, or Wellington plus Auckland, and so on.

    It’s just numbers what the fuck? I gotz an audience yaknow

  846. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:02

    The solution, of course, was to embolden the ladies to cast off their conjugal oppressors.

    The safe word is “kolkhoznik”.

  847. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:06

    Random Access Music Friday.

  848. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:10

    The safe word is “kolkhoznik”.
    CACAO!

  849. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:35

    Well contributions from here seem to be disappearing to Egypt

  850. Major Kong said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:39

    If Tampa would schedule the Gay Buccaneer festival next year to coincide with the RNC convention.

    I think there would be considerable overlap between those two events.

  851. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:42

    L-o-n-g comment on the tunes. Do you realize we’ve only worked down to the ‘Oh Boy! Random Music Friday!’ comment? Lord, people, we’re trying.

    Vanity — Knew her work from Prince, but hadn’t heard her solo. Nasty Girls should be in every pole-dancer’s repetoire.

    Toronto — She’s got the pipes, but I still prefer Heart’s version. Maybe it’s two female voices on the chorus….

    Rick Roll — Well now I’ve experienced getting Rickrolled it all the way through. I surmise those 44-million plays on YouTube aren’t really a reflection of the song’s popularity….

    Brozman — Blew me away. 22-strings! His right-hand picking precision must be astonishingly difficult to learn. I’ve always like slide word: bottleneck, lap- or pedal-steel, so I got into this, even though it’s not a form I’m familiar with. (Mostly Ravi Sankar back in the Cretaceous.) Especially liked the first (Indian) segment and the last (rock) segment,

    O’Brien / Scott — Like I said, I love lap- and pedal-steel.

    Goldfrapp — Nice legs! And zombies. And four male back-up dancers sort of doing a Senator Vitter thing.

    Leonard Cohen — I’ve never heard Cohen sing so well or sound so good! I’ve always greatly admired him as a wordsmith–a brilliant writer–but I’ve never liked his singing before. The female voices really help! (And maybe help him stay in key.) Plus 6-string bass! I’m sort of astonished this only had 6,600 views.

    Hedwig & Angry Itch — Liked the lyrics. The band was so pissed off that the name ‘Angry Itch’ was taken! Even Ralph liked the name and he vetoes nearly everything. I don’t think we’ll ever settle on a name. We seem to try out a new one every day.

    Joey thinks we should try ‘Fetus Cookie Cutter’.

    VS: I can see why you like this. The singer has strong eye makeup and that’s one of signatures of your art.

    Kiss — Never much liked their shtick or music. Still don’t. But the melting telephone was nice.

    ‘Higher Ground’ — Absolutely Yes! (And that’s where I am right now.) I was in middle school when I first heard “Little” Stevie Wonder coming out of the radio; liked him from the start. I first heard ‘Higher Ground’ in Augsburg, piped into the Field Station offices by the Armed Forces Network.

    (Also a weird personal association with this song: In militaryoperations, you generally want to hold the higher ground. I spent a lot of times with maps and terrain analysis. I’ll always have that context when I listen, no matter what the lyrics are.)

    Clowns for Jeebus — Watched all 8:30. I’m dedicated. Or masochistic. I’m learning all sorts of stuff tonight. For example, I didn’t know that Ronald McDonald plays keyboards.

    Clowns vs Krumpers — I think the Krumpers were robbed by the East German judge.

    Puppetry — Only watched the Intro. I’m amazed that a Fox affiliate anchor would be so calm–even enthustiatic. But maybe her being a woman had something to do with it?

    Also, what sort of community names itself Townsville?

    Marvin Gaye — Cain’t go wrong. Ever. His end was so tragic.

    Byrne / Eno — I run either hot or cold on Byrne. Cold on this one.

    But I lurve Bosch! And especially ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’. (1) ‘Garden’ was my very first close-up exposure to Bosch (in the Prado); (2) And earthly delights, too. A Danish student had this next to her bed.

    Eno — Put me to sleep. I don’t think that’s what he was shooting for.

    Blues Brothers — Solid-gold, rock-solid backup band…and Jake and Elwood are worthy of them.

    I miss Belushi. He was just taking off as an actor. Would have loved to see him play Ignatious J. Riley in Confederacy of Dunces

    I’m s-o-o far behind on the music. I could be at this until the wee hours of the morning. Have some mercy on me! Can you talk about politics or mock reichwing idiots or something?

    Gonna make some coffee and take an Egypt break. I’m still wired into it.

  852. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:42

    Rampant, heh, political correctness

  853. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:45

    I could be at this until the wee hours of the morning. Have some mercy on me! Can you talk about politics or mock reichwing idiots or something?

    Gonna make some coffee and take an Egypt break. I’m still wired into it.

    BLOGGER! I say it at vs’ place, and I’m saying it again. START WRITING!!! You’ve been closely following developments in Egypt since the popular uprising started, now get cracking, lad!

  854. rodertrudis said,

    February 12, 2011 at 4:52

    Young Egyptian Google executive sparks low budget revolution using a laptop and a social networking service, and stands in stark and ironic contrast to George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, David Addington, Richard Perle, Condoleezza Rice, and a host of other Neocons, who with several trillion dollars, more than 4500 U.S. soldiers killed, and perhaps 100,000 Iraqis dead, only managed to create the worst foreign policy clusterfuck in U.S. history.

  855. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:01

    Well, the young Egyptian Google executive actually wanted the population to be free.

    Additionally, he’s not a sociopath who is willing to immolate hundreds of thousands of innocent people to line his pockets.

    “Do no evil”, indeed.

  856. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:05

    Mr. Bastard is right Pirate guy. Blogeroo is for you

  857. rodertrudis said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:40

    Mr Great Cornholio, You might enjoy reading “The Family”.

  858. pedestrian said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:42

    Rampant, heh, political correctness

    Asked about whether he values a big tent* approach to conservatism, Cardenas said that he did – but that his vision applied principally to reaching out to different minorities and ethnic groups. “There are not enough African-Americans, Hispanics and other minorities here. That diversity is critical – you don’t need to change your value system to attract more diversity into the movement.

    Yeah, actually, you DO have to change your value system. First, white culture is not neutral, it is a set of values that comes out of the experience of being white in America. Even organizations explicitly devoted to anti-racism work often have to assess whether they are working for white liberals or for actual people of color. Second, and it’s a BIG second, racism has been the keystone of the Republican electoral strategy for fifty fucking years.

    It amazes me that Republicans think that they can just wait around for non-white people with their values to come along. And when a few token politicians of color do bite, the GOP can’t figure out why brown people don’t turn out in droves to vote for them.

    *never gets old

  859. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:49

    First, white culture is not neutral, it is a set of values that comes out of the experience of being white in America.

    As a straight, white, middle-class, educated male, I have to say that my ilk has a hard time realizing that straight, white, middle-class, educated male is not the “default setting” for everyone. Some of us discover this, and work to break out of these cultural blinders, others just go on making assumptions about the minority experience, and bitch about how liberal policies oppress them, while voting for fat cats who really do keep them down.

  860. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 5:53

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVARIN demands a fine cup of coffee.

    Who does he think he is? Ziltoid the Omniscient or something?

  861. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:05

    Who does he think he is? Ziltoid the Omniscient or something?

    I predict that that song will become popular at weddings within the next four or five years.

  862. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:11

    Simply can’t keep up. Ralph is getting cranky, which is usual for him. And Joey wants to toss some things into the mix. So the band is more or less giving up. There has been a TON of music in the thread–going all the way back to Blues links.

    Socks, Drugs, Rock N Roll I wear socks, enjoy the sweet smoke, and like rock. Best I can do on this one.

    Groove Armade Snidely liked the complex lyrics. Don’t Hawkins and Howard and Drake play in the band? No that can’t be right. They defeated the Armada.

    Levin et all Liked the drummin a LOT. Crisp, precise, controlled. The mix was wrong for picking up Levin’s work; the guitar smothered it on this cut. Would’ve liked more front work, solo, isolation. I loves good bass work!

    Eno — Liked this much better than the earlier Eno sample! The instrumentals reminded me of the Vangelis soundtrack for Blade Runner

    Laurie Anderson — Liked ‘The Wasteland’ refs–one of my all-time favorite modern poems. (See? I’m trying to find something nice to say about most everything, this included.)

    Oingo Boingo — Well, I like Little Girls–find your own sick fantasies! And short women, if you want to take a non-arrestable viewpoint. That’s pretty much all I can say about the cut.

    Go! Team — Huddles. Wide recievers. Tight ends. I likes ‘em.

    Byrds — One of my all-time favorite bands. (Parsons’ death devastated Emmy Lou Harris–she wrote a lovely, strong ‘recovery’ song, with wonderful lyrics. From Boulder to Birmingham.)

    My favorite version of the Byrds had Clarence White filling Parson shoes–a hard job for anyone. White was such an excellent guitarist, a perfect complement to McGuinn. After White died, the Byrds had suffered too much damage to continue. And that was the end.

    The guys are going to take off the headphones now and rummage around for some contributions to Friday Random Music. Perhaps we’ll put the headphones on again in the wee small hours of the morning….

  863. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:22

    Kiwi & B^4: Thanks for the encouragement! It’s having some effect, too. I’m actually starting to believe that maybe I could do this. T&U taking the plunge has been a good example. Maybe it’s my Luddite fears of the Internets Toobz. Or looking like a Total Idiot. (Low self-esteem, folks. Hell, I’ve never even submitted any of fiction anywhere.) So I dunno.

    I don’t have a job–Social Security ruled me Complete Disability–except for my fiction. (I work at that, fer sure.) So I could probably put up some fresh content fairly often. But it would certainly be Very Weird content. All over the map.

    Again, thanks. I’ll cogitate on it.

  864. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:25

    Snidely/Lurkers/Ice9, did you get the hint that you’ve got to start blogging? You’ve got a lot of life experience, and you’ve been on top of developments in Egypt since they started. You have indicated that you are a writer, man.

    Make it happen.

    Oh, and here’s some Egyptian pop music for you.

  865. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:27

    Guitar as a rhythm instrument. Plus she’s totally HAWT. And she’s got fingers of steel. Watch full screen.

  866. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:28

    Fail! (See why I’m reluctant to blog?) Link:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdjiU_GLx7c&feature=related

  867. Another Kiwi said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:29

    Honestly, setting up the blog is a piece of piss (is very easy). Posting is the hard bit. I’m sure you could do 3 stories a week to keep it going. As Mr. Bastard said, your interest in Egypt marks you out as someone who can take the time to do a good job. Also some blogs just make stuff up. No names. They know who they are. Damn Kiwis.

  868. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:30

    Thanks for the link, you wonderful Bastard!

  869. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:39

    Before I look for one more cut, I wonder where bilo has been? Seems he hasn’t been around in week or so. Off hunting Sasquatch? Anyone know?

  870. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:40

    Lurkers: Terry Bozzio was the drummer in the Levin link. I can’t point to just one drummer and call him my favorite, but Bozzio is up at the top.

    Yes, that Bozzio

  871. gocart mozart said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:41

    Hey HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN, I hear that several people at balloon juice are saying that Hillary is teh awesomest and so are the Jooos. They are about to talk smack about your moms also. Be a man and go play over there. Shoo!

    (potential preemptive apology to John Cole inserted here)

  872. Chris said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:41

    As a straight, white, middle-class, educated male, I have to say that my ilk has a hard time realizing that straight, white, middle-class, educated male is not the “default setting” for everyone.

    Sure, but those of us in the Gooper camp figure that hey, they’re the majority (or the Real America or whatever) so everyone else should just adjust to them. And since there’s no comparable monolith on the other side, they get their way very often.

    That’s why I think the best thing the Latino demographic could do as it grows is to refuse to assimilate (by the GOP’s definition of “assimilate”). I’d kind of like someone to break the self-proclaimed Real Americans’ privileged status in politics.

  873. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:44

    For all the S,N wimmins

  874. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:45

    And you know who I’d like to see take up blogging?

    Chris.

  875. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    February 12, 2011 at 6:49

    here’s some Egyptian pop music for you.

    Yay! Kohl eyes and bootie shaking, hard to go wrong with those. Thx!

  876. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 7:50

    And we’re caught up!

    Devin Townsend — Hard-drivin’, high-energy stuff. I think I liked it best as a reply to the manic person.

    Ruby — No headscarf. No burkha. She is certainly ummmmm…secular.

    *nudge nudge wink wink*

    Missing Persons — I liked it. Good pop / dance hooks. But I’m glad Bozzio graduated.

    Speaking for all us, the guys in the band really enjoyed Random Music Friday! We gotta come up with name! This What’s Today’s Name rigamorole is driving me nuts.

    Hey, maybe that would work: What’s Today’s Name? Oh, fuck you, Ralph. Nothin’ is good enough for you.

    And FYWP. (Hey, maybe thatcould work! Sorta like INXS….)

  877. M. Bouffant said,

    February 12, 2011 at 11:04

    More jokey metal.

  878. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 11:27

    Joey fucked up bigtime. That stoner forget to run an ENTIRE audition tape. (Now I sorta miss Eddie, our former engineer. Even if he was a pissant.) Anyway, here’s the rest:

    Ann Peebles — I’ve heard of her, but this is the first time I’ve heard her. Earthy voice. There are other interpretations of this classic song that I prefer. Backing brass is always nice.

    Lough Francis — Totally blew the guys away. Sorta Belefonte spiced with Ladysmith Black Mambazo. We mos def need to add a horn section! Joey thought it would be nice to add steel drums…stir some Islands sound into the African. Joey is very stoned. We just ignore him when he comes up with batshit crazy stuff.

    Red Kross — Hard rockin’! Like VS said, the guitarist is wicked.

    VS: We’re also looking for lead female vocal. ‘Slayer’ would be such a great stage name. Interested? (If not, can our guitarist use it as his stage name? He thinks Slayer sounds really cool, like Slash or The Edge. Plus he massacres songs.)

    Giants — I’ve only heard them a few times and I like everything I’ve heard. Whimsical lyrics. Plus the video has castles and sprockets.

    No, Joey. Castles and Sprockets is not a good name.

    Clouds — Very fine. The drummer is smokin’. The bass player doesn’t hold up her part, at least not on this cut. (But I’ll overlook that because she has gray eyes. Have I ever mentioned my Thing about gray eyes?) Anyway my perception is distorted: The blonde singer has a striking resemblence to someone from my past. Not Objective.

    Shut up, Joey..

    Merle Haggard — An acquired taste. I acquired it when I listened to his later stuff.

    Great Big Sea — Mountains. Music. They go well together. I tend to prefer pure instrumental songs, showcasing the playing.

    Stevie Ray — You already know my opinion about Stevie Ray. It was nice to see him back in the Foxtail Hat period.

    Nikka Costa — Liked the funk groove. I’m Switzerland on her vocal style.

    Mastodon — Edgy. Obviously good musicians technically. Don’t care much for the singing. Perhaps the whole thing was too frantic for geezers.

    No. Too Frantic For Geezers won’t fly either.

    Dethklok — Headbanging produces headaches.

    Tampa Red — Never heard of these guys. Was that a kazoo solo at 2:00? A paper-and-comb? Or are my ears shot from the Library stint today?

    T&U: You’ve started a blog, so howsabout a band?: Library Stint.

    B.B. King — Can do no wrong. Ever.

    Arnold/Groundhogs — Fine muscianship. Liked the music. (Liked the video, too: classic footage, stitched together well. But the music and the video are totally weird together.)

    Donald Fagen — Huge fan of Steely Dan. First time I’ve ever seen Fagen solo. As great as ever. Magnificent, fresh interpretation of a classic song.

    So it’s flippin’ 5 AM in Baltimore. Sorta figured this would happen. Thanks to all for Random Music Friday. We’ll get the name sorted out eventually. We might have to get rid of Ralph first.

  879. The Pirate Lurkers said,

    February 12, 2011 at 11:39

    MB: Just saw it before I turned the machine off.

    VulgarisEpic lyrics. Great visuals on the YouToobz. Barbarians Rule.

    Willya just shut up, Joey?

  880. Dubious P said,

    February 12, 2011 at 12:42

    Yes, that Bozzio

    I prefer to think of him as this Bozzio.

    That Bozzio is Dale, his (then) wife.

  881. lobbey mrk II said,

    February 12, 2011 at 13:08

    Glasgow Rangers fandom included?

    only the pre-Souness sect.

  882. bughunter said,

    February 12, 2011 at 16:45

    Terry is back there on drums. His drumwork is what makes Missing Persons’ hits timeless.

    Nice link, thanks! I was disappointed none of my Zappa came up in the shuffle yesterday.

  883. Alan in SF said,

    February 12, 2011 at 20:31

    How can we get God to disclose the secret location the Homo Pirates whisk their victims away to? Sounds hot!

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