A POTUS Shitmus Test

Confederate Yankee confrère MikeM is has kidnapped his vote for president and offers a ransom note to would-be aspirants to the Oval Office:

My Letter To A Presidential Candidate

Dear Mr. Candidate:

I’ve been following your campaign for awhile, and I might be willing to cast a vote for you. Over the last several decades, I’ve had the chance to live with presidents of both parties, and I’ve a learned a few things, particularly in the last two years. So I have some advice; I hope you’ll listen.

Sure thing, MikeM … and keep talking (we’ve almost got a trace).

Remember when Rush Limbaugh said that he hoped that Mr. Obama failed? Remember how Progressives went berserk? ‘How dare he!’ They cried. ‘He wants America to fail!’ That situation clearly illustrates our current national dilemma. You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America. They think he is our voice, our face. Some of them even think he’s some kind of a deity, a god who transcends such a petty office as the Presidency of the United States and whose destiny is to remake America in his image. They’re wrong, badly wrong. It’s not about the man; it’s about his policies.

Okay, the perp is at 111 Dipshit Lane. We can have a SWAT team there in 10 minutes … oh, Christ, he’s still talking …

Mr. Candidate, the President of the United States is nothing more than a man, and someday I have no doubt, a woman.

Caribou Barbie thanks you, blah blah, yadda yadda — can you please get on with your list of demands?

So while you’re running, and particularly if you are fortunate enough to be trusted to be America’s temporary chief executive, there are some important things you ought to know, and more importantly, believe. I know that some of them will seem, well, elementary, but my experience of the last few years has taught me that some things likely need to be said.

* You must be personally humble. ‘I’ should be a tiny part of your private vocabulary and an even smaller part of your public vocabulary. But in your representation of America’s values and interests, you must be proud, fierce, resolute and honorable, for the people you represent are all of those things and more. Those who are full of hubris never end well, nor does their nation.

Humility good, hubris bad — difficult to disagree. Carry on.

* You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist in the tide of time, because, well, because it is.

Or is it: humility bad, hubris good? Ah well, ‘foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds’ etc.

* Your job is also to pursue America’s interests, not those of victim groups, unions, billionaire donors, or those of a fictional, hopelessly utopian one world government.

And it really is a simple task, because ‘America’s interests’ perfectly coincide with those of all identifiable sub-groups of Americans, who are never in competition with each other for anything at all or able to show that their preferred policies would result in broader benefits for more people than those of their rivals or maintaining the status quo. And this is true because there is unanimous agreement on what ‘America’s interests’ really are, to the point that MikeM seems to feel it would be a waste of time to make the slightest attempt to define them in any coherent way.

* The UN does not share America’s interests. You must not share those of the UN.

* Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time. If you fall for that, you’ll fall for anything.

So you better not cave in to Antarctica’s demands in the New World Order!

* America’s economic system is capitalism. Its expression is free enterprise. It’s engine is small business and the rest of the private sector. Do you notice that government has no part in that? Do you realize that government can only hinder and interfere?

Why just the other day I was remarking to a friend that the threat of government enforcement of anti-fraud laws was hindering my ability to con other people out of their money. Talk about a commie plot!

* Government jobs don’t create wealth, they consume it.

Fire doesn’t provide warmth, it burns stuff! Food packaging doesn’t preserve perishable goods, it makes litter! Clocks don’t help you to be on time, they tell everybody else you were late! Etc., etc.

MikeM’s ransom note goes on for quite some time, but we started getting bored and just have to assume that it ends with a demand for safe passage to the airport where a reality-warping, time-traveling jet awaits to whisk him away to a make-believe America of the distant past.

 

Comments: 1463

 
 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

the President of the United States is nothing more than a man, and someday I have no doubt, a woman.

Obama’s having a sex change operation?

 
 

“I’ should be a tiny part of your private vocabulary and an even smaller part of your public vocabulary.”

So, um, I’m the decider is bad then?

 
 

* America’s economic system is capitalism. Its expression is free enterprise. It’s engine is small business and the rest of the private sector.

It’s legacy is shitty grammar.

 
 

So they have almost rediscovered TR. But not quite.

“”The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.”

 
 

You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America. They think he is our voice, our face. Some of them even think he’s some kind of a deity, a god who transcends such a petty office as the Presidency of the United States and whose destiny is to remake America in his image. They’re wrong, badly wrong. It’s not about the man; it’s about his policies.

An early winner of the Republican Self-Awareness Award for 2011.

 
 

* America’s economic system is capitalism. Its expression is free enterprise. It’s engine is small business and the rest of the private sector. Do you notice that government has no part in that?”

Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Nothin up mah sleeve!

” Do you realize that government can only hinder and interfere?” [citation needed]

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

DA, you touched on this, but I’m still so fucking confused as to why conservatives think that global warming is a hoax. What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”? It’s just dumb.

Although, you know, those research grants and contracts are a lucrative business. You can literally make enough money for a somewhat comfortable middle-class existence!

 
 

* Government jobs don’t create wealth, they consume it.

Yup, I remember how private enterprise, freed from that danged gummint interference, created the internet.

 
 

I’m still not sure how these idiots think the economy would function without, say, a body overseeing the cutting up of the broadcast spectrum or a patent office, a court system, or even the full faith and credit of the United States.

 
 

Remember when Rush Limbaugh said that he hoped that Mr. Obama failed? Remember how Progressives went berserk? ‘How dare he!’ They cried. ‘He wants America to fail!’ That situation clearly illustrates our current national dilemma. You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America.

Given that a president failing can mean many many many people dying it’s really not that nice to hope he fucks up. Where you can hope things go badly is, say, in pretzel-eating or Segway-riding mishaps.

 
That's the problem right there...
 

Although, you know, those research grants and contracts are a lucrative business. You can literally make enough money for a somewhat comfortable middle-class existence!

Well, if global warming paid enough for corporations to profit, like war does, they’d be all over it.

 
 

‘I’ve had the chance to live with presidents of both parties.”

There’s a couch in the White House basement that they let him crash on when he’s in town.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Jesus Christ, this douche needs to put down the Ayn Rand already.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, they’re advertising diet cheese. I’d think that would be far too girly for such a manly site.

 
 

Does anyone imagine that people like MikeM look at what they’ve written and go “Shit this is EXACTLY the same thing I’ve been staying for the last (N) years. I’m like the M. Night Shamaylan of punditry. Man, do I need to rethink my life…”

or is it more like “Ha! This is unassailable logic that will cause Obama and the other socialists to weep like little girls. Pass that bag of airplane glue.”

or is it “Damn, this is the easiest fucking job/hobby in the universe. Seriously it makes solitaire look like playing chess against a Kasparov/Fischer hybrid.”

 
 

The government needs to stop enforcing contracts so I can make some real money gold.

 
 

It’s engine is small business

I run an engine! Chugga chugga chugga choo choo!

 
 

Wow. DA brings tHe mangos to us. And what fetid reeking mangos they are.

It’s cool they want the president to be humble, though. W was super-humble.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

W was super-humble.

Now watch this drive!

 
 

I am DIGGING this multiple-posts-per-day thing… now scrolling back up to read actual post.

 
 

Progressives Conservatives equate Mr. Obama Bush and America. They think he is our voice, our face. Some of them even think he’s some kind of a deity, a god who transcends such a petty office as the Presidency of the United States and whose destiny is to remake America in his image. They’re wrong, badly wrong. It’s not about the man; it’s about his policies.

Fixed to reflect what actually happened for eight years, rather than what is only happening in this dumbfucks fevered imagination.

Or did I just imagine three guys being arrested in Denver for having an anti-Bush bumper sticker on their car … or the guy who was arrested for calling out Cheney to his face at some shopping mall … or being called a traitor for daring to question Dear Leader’s policies … or watching damn near every single conservative (including this clown) claim that any criticism of the Commander in Chief during wartime was treason … or …

Well, I could continue, but why bother? Dipshits like this guy lack any shred of self awareness, and is yet one more person who thinks all of American history started Jan. 20, 2009.

 
 

I’m still so fucking confused as to why conservatives think that global warming is a hoax. What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”?

This is what I’ve been trying to articulate for the last several years. Thank you.

 
 

But in your representation of America’s values and interests, you must be proud, fierce, resolute and honorable, for the people you represent are all of those things and more. Those who are full of hubris never end well, nor does their nation.

… um what?

 
 

The government destroyed my Small Business by building a road in front of it and – get this – running fucking electricity into the building! I hate the government SO MUCH

 
 

Don’t forget the billboards reading “George W. Bush. Our Leader.” It’s like none of that ever happened.

 
 

You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America.

Now where did we ever say that????

I mean, it’s not like we walk around claiming that to disrespect the President is to hate America. It’s not like we ask the right “why do you hate America so?” when they talk about his birth certificate or him being blackity-black. It’s not like they’re protesting in the street, and we say, “There’s a WAR going on! Respect the President!”

 
 

“Yup, I remember how private enterprise, freed from that danged gummint interference, created the internet.”

And radar, satellites, the first computers, nuclear energy, the Apollo project, interstate highways and most of the other big-zoot stuff that the daddies of today’s conservatives pointed to decades ago as clear evidence of US superiority. Who knew that this stuff was all shit because the government ran their development?

 
 

And it really is a simple task, because ‘America’s interests’ perfectly coincide with those of all identifiable sub-groups of Americans, who are never in competition with each other for anything at all or able to show that their preferred policies would result in broader benefits for more people than those of their rivals or maintaining the status quo. And this is true because there is unanimous agreement on what ‘America’s interests’ really are, to the point that MikeM seems to feel it would be a waste of time to make the slightest attempt to define them in any coherent way.

If you shrink it to “Real Americans,” yes, in fact. There’s everything’s supposed to be subsumed by The Movement – which is probably what he meant by telling his wet dream presidential candidate, “you don’t matter, but your country movement can never be wrong.”

“Alone — free — the human being is always defeated. It must be so, because every human being is doomed to die, which is the greatest of all failures. But if he can make complete, utter submission, if he can escape from his identity, if he can merge himself in the Party so that he is the Party, then he is all-powerful and immortal.”
– O’Brien, 1984

 
 

Yup, I remember how private enterprise, freed from that danged gummint interference, created the internet.

Built the interstate highway system.

Or airports.

Or bridges.

Or tunnels.

Or railway tracks.

Or give away government scientific research to the private sector.

Nope. No job creation at tall….no sirreee!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This is what I’ve been trying to articulate for the last several years. Thank you.

You’re quite welcome!

I mean, I suppose it’s easier than confronting the fact that your lifestyle has fucked up the planet and your descendants will curse you long after you’re gone (provided that they live) and possibly giving up that lifestyle to make sure the “provided that they live” part becomes a little more likely.

Nope. It’s easier just to believe a lie, even if it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Conservative thinking in a nutshell, really.

 
 

And radar, satellites, the first computers, nuclear energy, the Apollo project, interstate highways and most of the other big-zoot stuff that the daddies of today’s conservatives pointed to decades ago as clear evidence of US superiority.

And to go back further: subsidizing uneconomic-to-build trans-continental railroads, rural electrification (per Open Cahoots above), harbor imporvements…

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I’m still not sure how these idiots think the economy would function without, say, a body overseeing the cutting up of the broadcast spectrum or a patent office, a court system, or even the full faith and credit of the United States.

What Dot said. They’ve reached the point — and Rand Paul is merely an outlier at this point — where they understand the public is so stupid, so ill-informed, they can simply demand the entire thing be done away with change nothing at all, and later announce they did what they could — and there are enough fuckwits who will buy that so they can get away with it.

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! … Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

 
 

All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what has the government done for us?

 
 

I meant…

Shut up numpty!

Be champions.

 
 

You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America. They think he is our voice, our face. Some of them even think he’s some kind of a deity, a god who transcends such a petty office as the Presidency of the United States and whose destiny is to remake America in his image.

First of all, Progressives with a capital P refers to a movement of the early twentieth century which hasn’t existed since then and, if memory serves, was mostly Republican (the Bull Moose kind).

Second, I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a liberal rally, or a liberal blog, or ever even sat down with a liberal, but nothing you just mentioned is even remotely true. Liberals were turning on Obama within months and disgust at him for all kinds of reasons is widespread; why? Because so many of us disagree with his policies. It’s we who care about policies and not people.

A sharp contrast could be drawn with conservatives, who only rallied against deficits after a black Democrat entered the White House.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Somebody should organize “A Day Without Government.”

Anything that the government helped create or fund would be off-limits for these fuckfaces to use.

That would be impossible, of course, but that’s also the point.

 
 

Im guessing it’s not necessary to point out the mind-buggering (yes) amount of projection in this gibberish…

 
 

* The UN does not share America’s interests. You must not share those of the UN.

The UN has no interests. The UN is a place where two hundred or so countries, each with their own interests, gather, and the fact that every one of them thinks like you do is a huge part of why UN action tends to be so erratic and dysfunctional.

They don’t have black helicopters either. Actually, I’d say alien UFO sightings are vastly more believable than black helicopter ones.

 
 

Government jobs don’t create wealth, they consume it.

Wealth doesn’t create roads, they consume them.

Businesses don’t fund most pharmaceutical research in public universities, but they sure do like to gobble it up cheap.

Rich people don’t create mountaintops, but they sure do blow them up.

 
 

he tried so fucking hard to not sound like a sub-literate moran (*) and yet couldn’t quite get every “it’s” and “its” right. just a little proofreading. although, if one were to read this doggerel twice one might notice that the contents were utterly specious, but…whatevs.

 
 

All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what has the government done for us?

Brought the sexay back.

 
 

Oh, the biggest government project, the one that in hindsight I wish they had never fucking committed to, was the wiring of the rural South for electricity.

You rednecks want power? Go fucking build your own motherfucking electrical grid.

 
 

* America’s economic system is capitalism. Its expression is free enterprise. It’s engine is small business and the rest of the private sector. Do you notice that government has no part in that? Do you realize that government can only hinder and interfere?

No, I didn’t notice. I work at a government institution whose purpose is to finance the sales of U.S. exports to international buyers by American small businesses.

Please. Tell me more.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I’m still so fucking confused as to why conservatives think that global warming is a hoax. What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”?

Actually, this is very common human behavior — think of it this way: advertising is digging a hole, and offering to fill it back in for a price. We grow up absolutely inundated with messages like that, all the time. “Your twat stinks! Use this deodorant spray!” “Do YOU have robot insurance?” “Is wiping a pan with oil too difficult for you? Use our spray-on pan oil!”

So when the rubes hear scientists saying “um you will all fucking DIE unless you 1) listen to us, 2) do what we say, and 3) give us heaps of money,” they think, “By the power of Loki’s grill! Them there scientist fellers are a-tryin’ ter STEAL MAH MATTRESS GOLD!”

They think they’re being canny. And it’s amplified by the opportunity to tell those smarty-pants McSmarty-Science guys to go fuck themselves. “See? We’re smart, too! We have a scientific o-pinyin that’s differnt than yers!”

So yeah, there is a human tendency to reject gigantic warnings.

 
 

The conservative UN cycle:

1. The UN does not share our interests, so don’t give the UN funding, legitimacy or the backing of our military!
2. What good is a toothless UN that doesn’t have the authority or power to actually do anything useful in the world?
3. Return to point 1.

 
 

Somebody should organize “A Day Without Government.”

*HACKHACKwheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*

*gumsmack*

Yew young’uns might not remember *HACKwheeeeeeeeeeeze* 1995, but them damned ‘Publikins did juss that, by shuttin’ the gubmint *AAAAAAAAAAAHACKwheeeeeeeeeeeezeKOFFKOFFhockSPIT* down….

 
 

* Government jobs don’t create wealth, they consume it.

Why do you hate our soldier, Confederate Y…

Ah. I guess that answers that. They’re not really your soldiers, are they, Johnny Reb?

 
 

“Apples are the greatest fruit in the world, but apple trees are pure evil. If only there were no apple trees, perfect apples would hang suspended in mid-air.”

 
 

“Do YOU have robot insurance?”

OMG! No! I don’t! Where can I buy some, quick?????????!?!?!?!?!?!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yew young’uns might not remember *HACKwheeeeeeeeeeeze* 1995, but them damned ‘Publikins did juss that, by shuttin’ the gubmint *AAAAAAAAAAAHACKwheeeeeeeeeeeezeKOFFKOFFhockSPIT* down….

I do remember that. It was fucking dumb. But that wasn’t a day *completely* without government, and people could still use the services that the government had built in the past (roads, phone lines, etc).

 
 

““Apples are the greatest fruit in the world, but apple trees are pure evil. If only there were no apple trees, perfect apples would hang suspended in mid-air.””

This made me giggle. Also I’d like to see this.

 
 

Also I’d like to see this.

Take more drugs.

 
 

Don’t get out the boat, the fap is deafening.

 
 

“Take more drugs.”

No matter how much Tylenol cold medicine I take I can’t see the floaty apples!!

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

the fap is deafening.

Yer doin’ it wrong.

 
 

Are there comments? Are they horrible? *splays fingers over eyes* I can’t bear to look.

 
 

Dear God, the pig-headed stupidity is so dense I fear it will create a gravitational flux and suck the entire planet into it.

 
 

This made me giggle. Also I’d like to see this.

Don’t look at us, you’re the artist.

 
 

At least … what is a gravitational flux? Not the same as a Black Hole, is it?

 
 

I liked dis one:

* You, as did Ronald Reagan, must believe that America is Mankind’s last, best hope, and that if we lose freedom here, there is nowhere left to run. All of your official actions must be informed by this sacred faith.

Sacred faith? This idjit thinks America is a Cecil B DeMille production.

 
 

what is a gravitational flux?

When you lose control of your bowels while hanging upside down.

 
 

I’m still so fucking confused as to why conservatives think that global warming is a hoax. What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”?

This is what I’ve been trying to articulate for the last several years. Thank you.
They are just mad that someone has a credible end of the world scenario that doesn’t involve the rapture. End of the world? Without Jesus? That’s just unfair.
God forbid the rubes start listening to actual scientists doing actual science. Imagine the hellscape that would lead to. People wouldn’t smoke, because it gives them cancer. People would stop reading horoscopes. The entire flimflam sector of the economy would collapse! It’d be another great depression if the greater fraction of the population wised up.

 
 

Somebody should organize “A Day Without Government.”

Here in Mississippi we call that “Friday”, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s organized

 
 

Are there comments? Are they horrible? *splays fingers over eyes* I can’t bear to look.

Mostly the comments agree with everything he says except they think it should say dear Mrs Candidate at the top.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mostly the comments agree with everything he says except they think it should say dear Mrs Candidate at the top.

Why would that letter be addressed to the first lady? That’s just weird.

 
 

Somebody should organize “A Day Without Government.”

How about a field trip to Somalia?

 
 

what is a gravitational flux?

NASA porn?

 
 

“Mostly the comments agree with everything he says except they think it should say dear Mrs Candidate at the top.”

Oh boy. Engorged Starbursting Penises for Palin 2012!

 
 

D-KW Presidential Litmus Test.

1. Your mom, is she hot?
2. What were we talking about again?

 
 

to elevate apples.

Now THAT is creepy.

 
 

“D-KW Presidential Litmus Test.

1. Your mom, is she hot?
2. What were we talking about again?”

*chuckles*

 
 

what is a gravitational flux?

The House of Substance?

 
 

Well Mr. Candidate, that’s about it for now. We both know I could go on and on.

OMG, this nattering fool has more?!

 
 

Some of them even think he’s some kind of a deity, a god who transcends such a petty office as the Presidency of the United States and whose destiny is to remake America in his image.

Two sentences earlier.

You see, Progressives equate Mr. Obama and America.

Mission Accomplished! Break out the aborted fetus cocktails!

 
 

Truly, Christianity is a religion of peace.

 
 

Over the last several decades, I’ve had the chance to live with presidents of both parties

That’s what that creepy noise in the basement was! The Secret Service thought they had a Cheetos eating rat.

 
 

What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”? It’s just dumb.

Although, you know, those research grants and contracts are a lucrative business. You can literally make enough money for a somewhat comfortable middle-class existence!

While explanations from Chris and Spangler are well-reasoned, incredibly thought out, and just overall great, I think it’s actually very, very simple:

Liberals believe in global warming. Thus, they must reject it.

Q.E.Fucking.D.

That may come across as snark, but it’s 100% true.

Just look at what they’ve opposed the past few years: individual mandate (their idea); end-of-life counseling for veterans (created in the 90s by Republican Kit Bond); tax breaks in the stimulus (they voted against it); a TARP program their guy created (and that is actually making the U.S. money); deficit spending (which they loved up until the black guy was elected Prez); etc. etc. etc.

As soon as a liberal suggests or agrees with something they do, they turn against it. Time and time and time again.

It’s like they have some sort of ideological Turret’s, just reflexively yelling “NO!” any time anyone remotely liberal says anything.

It’d be comical if it weren’t so destructive to our nation …

 
 

PM, yes it is.

 
 

KWillow said,

January 26, 2011 at 19:12

Dear God, the pig-headed stupidity is so dense I fear it will create a gravitational flux and suck the entire planet into it.

HEY!

 
Alkonholics Untie!
 

Currently having a blast trolling the facebook comments of a friend back home who thinks “Oboma” is out to kill the oil industry becaue he hates rural southerners.

The birther is the most fun…”You actually believe that?” Indignant, ignorant cajuns women are the best.

 
 

I’m still laughing over Spangler’s succinct breakdown of the principles of advertising.

 
 

If I ever need to make myself vomit profusely I will remember to read Confederate Wankee’s clap trap.

 
 

Actually, wow. This thing is self-refuting in sentence 1.

I’ve been following your campaign for awhile,,,

Rilly? Hypothetical letter to hypothetical candidate. You couldn’t have been following their careers since you don’t even know who they are. Congratulations, your made-up shit isn’t even internally consistent in the first sentence.

Unless, of course you are aware of all candidate traditions careers.

 
 

This thing is self-refuting in sentence 1.

I noticed that myself, but figured for this audience that’s a feature, not a bug.

 
 

Its expression is free enterprise.

I’m expressin with my full capabilities
And now I’m livin in correctional facilities

 
 

I think Mark D’s point is the mostest salientest one re: the Hoaxest with Mostest

But I have also heard wingnuts whinge on about how the Hoax is somehow a money-making scheme.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Liberals believe in global warming. Thus, they must reject it.

I just…I can’t believe that you know, like, the future of humanity hinges on something so fucking petty.

 
 

“Oboma” is out to kill the oil industry because he hates rural southerners.

Yes, goodness gracious, he’s going to take their billions of *SUBSIDY* money away.

I got a kick out of “in case you haven’t noticed, the oil industry is doing all right”.

Odd how all tea party rhetoric devolves to “don’t you dare take away my government handout!”. Republicans are freeloaders, and so project that all “those” people on welfare are cheats, since, of course, the Republicans would, and do, cheat the government.

 
 

But I have also heard wingnuts whinge on about how the Hoax is somehow a money-making scheme.

The Bentley factory can’t keep up with the demand for special orders from climate scientists. And they all want the big engine!

 
 

“I just…I can’t believe that you know, like, the future of humanity hinges on something so fucking petty.”

Have we met?

 
 

Ain’t that the damn truth. All the grown-ups have left the Republican party.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Have we met?

Sometimes I like to pretend!

 
 

Sometimes I like to pretend!

Hawt.

 
 

* You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist in the tide of time, because, well, because it is.

This sounds suspiciously like what his fellow captives were taught to say about Raymond Shaw.

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

Piltdown Man gets no respect.

 
 

America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.

 
 

Sometimes I like to pretend!

Does this ever involve catholic schoolgirl outfits? AFAF.

 
 

America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Therefore you must never ever give any consideration to any other country in the world.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hawt.

You have a thing for ninjas?

 
Erich Von Daniken
 

Piltdown Man gets no respect.

Tell me about it.

 
 

“Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.”

Heh. Exactly. Besides, the Free Market will take care of things. Somehow.

 
 

The government destroyed my Small Business by building a road in front of it and – get this – running fucking electricity into the building! I hate the government SO MUCH

Well to be fair, his business was called:

Libertarian Portable Generators
“When you really Galt to have power”

 
 

No love for Immanuel Velikovsky?

 
 

I *also* like to pretend…that I am not still battling a sinus infection.

 
 

Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.

Doood!

 
 

Indignant, ignorant cajuns women are the best.

Does this go with the “I like to pretend” comment? ‘Cause to quote DKW:

Hawt!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Does this ever involve catholic schoolgirl outfits?

Nah, I feel like I’m getting a little old for that. I do have a habit that I break out from time-to-time, though…

 
 

Doing lines of wasabi powder always seems to clear up my sinuses.

 
 

Does this ever involve catholic schoolgirl outfits?

“Was she a large catholic schoolgirl? Big through the hips? Roomy?”

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

HA! As if.

 
 

Hey, I’m just getting started!

 
 

At least … what is a gravitational flux?

She’s Æon’s whorier sister.

 
 

I’ve been following your campaign for awhile,,,

Rilly? Hypothetical letter to hypothetical candidate.

He’s also been fucking Morgan Fairchild since she was hawt.

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

Just edging out evolutionary theory and heliocentrism.

Also: should be “biggest scientific hoax in the tides of time.”

 
 

Come on. I don’t even make sense!

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

Phlogiston would like to have a word with you.

 
 

I *also* like to pretend…that I am not still battling a sinus infection.

Hawt!

 
 

I *also* like to pretend…that I am not still battling a sinus infection.

Hawt!

I know, right?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mentholatum is one of the sexiest smells on the planet.

 
 

Yeah, I know. Flash in the pan.

 
 

Tides? Did somebody say tides. Tide comes in; tide goes out. Ipso facto, God exists.

 
 

Mentholatum is one of the sexiest smells on the planet.

You need help with that mentholated rub?

 
 

“Was she a large catholic schoolgirl? Big through the hips? Roomy?”

I do not have a K-Lo fetish.

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

Wait, what happened to the Lancet study that said that George W Bush personally killed four hundred billion Iraqis?

 
 

Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time

Wait, what happened to evolution being only an article of faith?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You need help with that mentholated rub?

Nah, I’m good. VS is the snotty one.

 
 

Relevant.

 
 

Nah, I’m good. VS is the snotty one.

There’s enough mentholated rub for everyone (with breasts).

 
 

Remember when Rush Limbaugh said that he hoped that Mr. Obama failed?

It was not my hope that Bush would fail, it was my expectation.

 
 

Homeopathy said,

If water has memory then I must be full of shit.

 
 

There’s enough mentholated rub for everyone (with breasts).

I shall not share!

 
 

Shorter Explicated Jonah Goldberg:

Wouldn’t it be funny if Simpons Obama Trains burp

 
 

Water has memories but they’ve all been repressed. A skilled charlatan therapist can recover them. Usually ritual satanic abuse.

 
 

Mission Accomplished! Break out the aborted fetus cocktails!

Sorry, we’re out of cocktails. Will cookies suffice?

 
 

Sorry, we’re out of cocktails. Will cookies suffice?

Was there a pressing need for these?

 
 

Shorter Explicated Jonah Goldberg:

Wouldn’t it be funny if Simpons Obama Trains burp

*facepalm*

 
 

I’ve figured that CY’s vote is tied up since I read about this:

http://www.confederate150.com/2011.html

I don’t think you can vote for Jefferson Davis on February 19 and then vote in the GOP primary. However, it might be worth asking an expert on these matters.

Note that the big events on Feb. 19 are all taking place on Dexter Ave., right in front of Dexter Ave. Baptist church.

 
 

There’s enough mentholated rub for everyone (with breasts).

I’ll take one full rubdown, hold the breasts.

 
 

If water has memory then I must be full of shit.

If water has memory, then I should start taking my scotch neat.

 
 

There’s enough mentholated rub for everyone (with breasts).

I’ll take one full rubdown, hold the breasts.

In fact, you can skip the rubdown and just let me hold the breasts. All of them.

 
 

“I’ll take one full rubdown, hold the breasts.”

I’d rather get someone to hold them for me.

I’m sorry! Door was wide open!

 
 

,,,hold the breasts.

That’s my specialty.

 
 

Arggghhh, last to grab the BOOBIES.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wouldn’t it be funny if Simpons Obama Trains burp

Ha! Oh god, what a douche.

 
 

Do wingnuts even GET The Simpsons?

 
 

Note that the big events on Feb. 19 are all taking place on Dexter Ave., right in front of Dexter Ave. Baptist church.

Acceptable flags at the Heritage March include “any historic or current US flag.”

 
 

Do wingnuts even GET The Simpsons?

I’m pretty sure it’s about confirming Jonah’s interpretation of whatever over-his-head philosopher he’s trying to impress Charles Murray by reading this week. Right?

 
 

I just…I can’t believe that you know, like, the future of humanity hinges on something so fucking petty.

Why not?

GOP pettiness and grudges are the foundations for our tax code, energy policy, military operations and budget, health care system, education system …

So, yeah, basing the future of our entire species on something so petty is just par for the course for the modern conservative movement.

 
 

Happy Australia Day youse guys!

 
 

All of your official actions must be informed by this sacred faith.

I guess America really is Rome now. When you’re elected president, you also become Pontifex Maximus of the civic religion.

I used to be a liberal until Obama failed in his solemn duty to sacrifice a yearling on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

 
 

What’s interesting is that if I remember that episode correctly, it was about about of rubes being suckered by a lot of meaningless words. That, in a nutshell, is what being a wingnut is all about. Is there NOTHING they can’t project?

 
 

Do wingnuts even GET The Simpsons?

Certainly, fer instance when Homer picks up the phone and says,”opertaor quick, give me the number for 911!”, they can totally relate.

 
 

Late to the party but …
I’ll take one full rubdown, hold the breasts.

I’d love to but please don’t make me hold any of those icky girlbreasty things. Too, by “full” do you mean “with release?”

* This blog needs more same-sex-harassment. Hell, this blog needs more sex.

 
 

I guess America really is Rome now.

I AM SPARTACUS!

 
 

Yeah, I don’t think it was intended to be especially political; if I recall the musical correctly it was just a take-off on The Music Man. But Jonah’s the guy who thought Ghostbusters was inherently conservative because some low-level bureaucrat gets in the heroes’ way at some point, so he’ll read too much of what he wants to into anything.

 
 

But Jonah’s the guy who thought Ghostbusters was inherently conservative because some low-level bureaucrat gets in the heroes’ way at some point, so he’ll read too much of what he wants to into anything.

ROFLMAO!!! He DIDN’T! Oh my. Bless your heart for having to read that. omg. That’s funny.

 
 

I don’t understand teh hatred on the right over high speed rail networks. The history of rail in America is the history of Capitalism. It’s even important in the fictional bullshit America of Atlas Shrugged. High speed rail has the potential to increase the size and reach of markets. Additionally, we are talking about an inter-city tranport mechanism that would compete with flying. i.e. the benefits accrue to people who already do a lot of inter-city travelling by plane. i.e. not the poor, whom they hate. SRSLY, high speed rail is a middle-class thing, it’s not subsidizing inter-city buses.

But I guess since liberals like it, it must be evil.

 
 

Hell, this blog needs more sex.

If this blog isn’t getting laid often enough, it’s not our fault.

 
Helpless oppressed Canuckistani
 

* You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist in the tide of time, because, well, because it is.

That reminds me: goddam Canadian government, taking my tax money and wasting it on stupid socialist shit like cradle-to-grave medical care for everyone… then having the nerve to pretend that they are being “kind” and “generous”…

 
 

re: sex…I’m pretty sure some folks here would like for those of us who induldge the near round-the-clock flirting/attention-whoring/borderline sexual harassment to knock that shit off.

re: liberals like it so it’s evil. Nutshell: that’s in it.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I don’t understand teh hatred on the right over high speed rail networks.

Obama wants to take my car away!!!!111!!!1!!! I can’t take my guns on a train!!!111!!! It’s all a PLOT….

WOLVERINES!!!!

See? That’s how that line of “thinking” works. Now I’ve got a headache. That always happens when I try to channel wingnuts.

 
 

induldge

Also indulge.

 
 

You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist

Because you have been brainwashed to repeat this up until the moment you try to assassinate the president.

 
 

re: sex…I’m pretty

Hey!

 
 

ROFLMAO!!! He DIDN’T!

You’re right. That was Steven F. Hayward. But there’s some stupid at the link from Jonah too, e.g. “For the conservative, the moral of [Groundhog Day] is that redemption and meaning are derived not from indulging your ‘authentic’ instincts and drives, but from striving to live up to external and timeless ideals” and that A Simple Plan is conservative because “simple morality is not simplistic.”

 
 

Was there a pressing need for these?

No, but has that ever stopped novelty manufacturers?

 
 

mark f, don’t forget Douthat (I believe) thinks that one Apatow movie is conservative cuz the lady doesn’t abort. I’m sure the movie was trying to convey a conservative message. Not, you know, perhaps be longer than 5 minutes.

 
 

There’s enough mentholated rub for everyone (with breasts).

What about manboobs— do they count?

 
 

SRSLY, high speed rail is a middle-class thing, it’s not subsidizing inter-city buses.

Uh, that’s using the new updated definition of middle-class that includes people making over $250K per year.

 
 

K-Lo makes the same argument about Juno at that link above. I don’t remember what she says about the baby going to a single-parent household (headed by a woman!), which would seem to be almost as bad as death in K-Lo’s eyes.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

You can complain all you want, libs, but I have got a damn good version of “Ain’t She Sweet” going on the banjolele.

In America, I work for unemployment. In Russia, unemployment work for me.

 
 

What POSSIBLE benefit do scientists get from saying, “Holy shit, we’re all going to die. No, really.”? It’s just dumb.
Although, you know, those research grants and contracts are a lucrative business.

It always bears repeating that the reason climatologists are still researching climate change is in response to denialists refusing to accept the results and demanding more research. So the climatologists sigh, and apply for grants, and the denialists are all SEE IT’S A HOAX THEY’RE JUST RIDING THE MONEY TRAIN.

I’ve been following your campaign for awhile
One of these words is not in the dictionary.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck's mother
 

I’m pretty sure some folks here would like for those of us who induldge the near round-the-clock flirting/attention-whoring/borderline sexual harassment to knock that shit off.

I say amen to that.

 
 

You just can’t get away from these idiots. I spend some time on a blog for our local ECHL hockey team. We have a regular idiot on there that throws in his teatard rants on the hockey blog on a regular basis. This is why we can never have nice things.

 
 

I’m pretty sure some folks here would like for those of us who induldge the near round-the-clock flirting/attention-whoring/borderline sexual harassment to knock that shit off.

I say amen to that.

I would like to write a lengthy essay concurring, but only if I can write it while sitting on your lap.

 
 

One of these words is not in the dictionary.

Is it “I’ve”?

Awhile is a perfectly cromulent adverb, so if he had lost the “for” then,,, awww nevermind.

 
 

Boy Jonah,

You have an uncanny (and warped) way to hit the nail on the head.

I love it !

I think an NRO commenter thinks Jonah made the monorail video himself.

 
 

This is why we can never have nice things.
And all this time, I thought I was why we couldn’t have nice things.

 
 

It always bears repeating that the reason climatologists are still researching climate change is in response to denialists refusing to accept the results and demanding more research. So the climatologists sigh, and apply for grants, and the denialists are all SEE IT’S A HOAX THEY’RE JUST RIDING THE MONEY TRAIN.

Oh…THAT’S the money angle. I was confused about that. I thought it was some green economy thing, but that didn’t make sense to me cuz you’d think they’d like the FREE MARKET to take care of things…even made-up things…Wait. I’m confused again.

 
 

Always on topic:

Walter Ekrem, 13, was confronted by a pack of wolves on the way home from school in Rakkestad, Norway. Remembering that one should try to scare the animals rather than run, he yelled, waved his arms, and cranked up some Creed on his mobile phone.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think an NRO commenter thinks Jonah made the monorail video himself.

SAD. And it’s not like that shit hasn’t been around for over 20 years.

 
 

K-Lo makes the same argument about Juno at that link above.

Oh yeah. I’ve heard that movie is a conservative fave, too. *rolls eyes* Me, I’ve never seen it and never will.

 
 

I think an NRO commenter thinks Jonah made the monorail video himself.

LOLWUT?!!

 
 

What the fuck is a thirteen year old doing with Creed?

 
 

Juno was a pretty good movie.

 
 

As has been said before: I would rather be eaten by a pack of wolves than admit I listen to Creed.

+1

 
 

Yeah, Juno wasn’t bad. A bunch of decent one-liners and realistic reactions to situations by characters. All the smartassery and twee visuals gets to be a bit much but the movie was smart enough to keep the running time too short to really grate.

 
 

Hubby saw it on a flight and found it irritating. I’m not really interested in movies about teen pregnancy no matter how they end, I guess.

 
 

Awhile is a perfectly cromulent adverb, so if he had lost the “for” then,,, awww nevermind.

Oh, that’s alright then.

 
 

…Acceptable flags at the Heritage March include “any historic or current US flag.”…

Is there a Tea Party flag? An Confederate Tea Party flag? Hmmm, or is the Confederate flag the Tea Party flag? Does that make it both historic and current?

Also, when Jefferson Davis is sworn in, will we have two presidents? Or, one president and a pretender? Or, a historic president and a current president?

I’m looking forward to February 19!

 
 

* You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist in the tide of time, because, well, because it is.

If there were any possible way to bludgeon someone to death with immanentized stupidity, this would be my weapon of choice.

 
 

What the fuck is a thirteen year old doing with Creed?

Being a typically dumb teenager who wouldn’t know good and/or even-slightly-decent music if it performed a 10-hour jam session in his pants … ?

Which reminds me: Good to see you again, DKW’s mom … and sorry for last Friday. I’m sure the stains will come out eventually.

 
 

I’m looking forward to February 19!

I thought it was funny that the Confederates will accept the flag of the nation that KICKED THEIR ASS

 
 

Oh…THAT’S the money angle. I was confused about that. I thought it was some green economy thing

It is a recurring argument from wingnuts: climatologists cannot be trusted because they spend so much time — amounting to entire careers — on answering stupid questions from wingnuts and performing further research to satisfy wingnuts’ concerns.*

When I say “recurring argument”, I mean “article of faith that doesn’t even need to be spelled out any more,** simply invoked with one or two words.
————————————————————————–
* Was going to be a joke here about “Queue Bono” but it’s bad enough with Creed in the thread already.

** “Anymore” is NOT A WORD.

 
 

What is “firing of salutes” and why do they have to do it twice?

 
 

“It is a recurring argument from wingnuts: climatologists cannot be trusted because they spend so much time — amounting to entire careers — on answering stupid questions from wingnuts and performing further research to satisfy wingnuts’ concerns.*

I’m gonna let someone else slam his or her head against the desk cuz ive done it several times already and my head hurts. Can’t do it ANYMORE!

 
 

The POTUS bows to no man, figuratively and literally. This too, is part of our national tradition and faith.

but kissing on the mouth is okay…if you do it humbly…?

why are they still pissed off about this? obama’s a tall dude…greeting a tiny man…there’s going to be some sort of dipping action…

 
 

…Acceptable flags at the Heritage March include “any historic or current US flag.”…
If that includes the CSA flag (obviously not a US flag, but occasionally flown within the bounds of what is now the US) then the Union Jack and the Spanish flag should also be acceptable.* Please someone try this.

* Not to mention the Iroquois Confederation flag.

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? Know what Da Cool Coach’s litmus test for being the next President is? That she’s Michele Bachmann, baby! Did you commie clowns check her slicin’ and dicin’ Obummer all over the TV last night? LOLs to the WALLS, y’all! Ya better believe that Obummer’s ding dong dummy speech will send his rancid ratings a tumble-wumblin’! Ding dong dilly!

You dopes just got hit with Da Cool Coach’s patented SPREAD of TRUTH! Ain’t nothin’ like it, nowhere! Urbs out, yo.

 
 

Anymore” is NOT A WORD.

Smut is CRANKY today.

 
 

hey Coach, what happened to your love for Super Sarah, the Power Palin?

 
 

“but kissing on the mouth is okay…if you do it humbly…?”

That’s what DKW’s mom says anyway.

 
 

Smut is CRANKY today.

He’s cranky everyday.

 
 

…ding dong doodley dilly.

 
 

From the CSV site:
every unit , division or other group would do well to designate a spokesman for their group who is experienced in dealing with the media and is well spoken. Designated spokesmen should be sure to dress appropriately. It would be best that any one approached by a member of the media defer to their designated spokesman for comments.

heh…

 
 

You dopes just got hit with Da Cool Coach’s patented SPREAD of TRUTH!

oh, that’s what that smell is…

 
 

“but kissing a man on the mouth is okay…if you do it humbly…?”

that’s what it was supposed to say…FYWP…

 
 

Goodness me, I had no idea that there were so many tribal flags. They’re proliferating faster than clan tartans.

The POTUS bows to no man, figuratively and literally.
But at the same time, only liberals make the error of confusing the POTUS for a symbolic figure who represents the nation — “our voice, our face”.

 
 

and tag fail…i’m leaving now…

 
 

That’s what DKW’s mom says anyway.

Huh. Really? What she said to me was “No kissing!”

 
 

“LOLs to the WALLS, y’all!” should have been linked.

How did Sinatra keep ahold of the mic without cycling gloves?

 
 

“Do YOU have robot insurance?”

Hm. Hinting at the next Dampniche tome?

 
 

You guys pointing out all the stoopit in this guy’s hissy fit is starting to have a shooting fish in a barrel feel to it.

 
 

How did Sinatra keep ahold of the mic without cycling gloves?

You neglect to mention Udo’s little midget hands. Frank was a few inches taller.

 
 

You guys pointing out all the stoopit in this guy’s hissy fit is starting to have a shooting fish in a barrel feel to it.

Click on Sub’s youtube link for a whole new barrel.

 
 

Huh. Really? What she said to me was “No kissing!”

Hmm. What she said to me was, “Mmmbbbgg urrrm mmmm hmmmm urrggggg hmmf.”

Of course, my dick was in her mouth at the time, so …

(Sorry. Was that over the tip top?)

 
 

Tintin, you ROCK!

 
 

Once the Nigger in Chief is voted out of office than begins the long process of restoring the Old America with its Christian faith, traditions and old fashioned morals. I have got news for you libs, the American people are fed up with the communist usurpation of Our Republic, that great leftist social reenginnering program of the 1960s that has been a cancer eating away at the moral fabric of Traditional White Christian America ever since.

One of the first goals that Karl Marx promoted for establishing communism was the eradication of tradition, religious faith and old fashioned morality and discrediting National Heros such as Our Founding Fathers. We have seen this beginning with the 1964 Civil Rights Act. This first act of leftwing activism than led to affirmative action, non-white immigration, feminism, gay rights and a host of other social reengineering polices all under the very communist banner of diversity.

Leftist traitors in all of the White Nation’s are willfully engaging in a process of destroying White Christian Civilization by enacting policies of mass third world immigration into their host countries. This was all part of Karl Marx’s plan to establish a one world communist government by erasing national soverignty and borders, and the majority of Western politicians are either ignorant of this fact or otherwise engaged in a massive conspiracy against the White Race.

Hopefully the Tea Party movement will not succumb to political correctness and will begin to reverse this long and terrible path to self destruction

 
 

“(Sorry. Was that over the tip top?)”

I’m not sure that’s possible on this blog.

OC, the movie won’t load for me. 🙁

 
 

“The Gray Ghost said,”

Oh dear.

 
 

OC, the movie won’t load for me. 🙁

Speaking of movies, I watched the whole MST3K Boggy Creek II today. It cost me my career and family but damn it, it was worth it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Badgers!

 
 

Tintin, you ROCK!

Post’s author is D. Aristophanes.

 
 

and old fashioned morals.

like when it was okay to own human beings and beat your women and children?!?!

 
 

White Christian Civilization

Tee hee. Go on, pull the other one three.

 
 

“Speaking of movies, I watched the whole MST3K Boggy Creek II today. It cost me my career and family but damn it, it was worth it.”

This made me laugh. If you really want to lose EVERYTHING, may I recommend Manos Hands of Fate or for the Canucks here… The Final Sacrifice.

 
 

Rats. That joke don’t work as Elron the Eternal.

 
 

Gotta go with The Mole People for MST3K.

“Down, down, to the very nipple of the world!”

 
 

“and old fashioned morals.”

Never heard of this drink.

 
 

Although to be fair, Tintin does ROCK!

 
 

We have seen this beginning with the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

Don’t forget FDR. In the tide of time, he came first.

 
 

Never heard of this drink.
it’s basically ice cubes and bitters…

 
 


it’s basically ice cubes and bitters…”

Ha! Ain’t that the truth?

 
 

Don’t forget FDR. In the tide of time, h He came first

fixxed for more bill o’reillyness…

 
 

The lower strata of the middle class — the small tradespeople, shopkeepers, and retired tradesmen generally, the handicraftsmen and peasants — all these sink gradually into the proletariat, partly because their diminutive capital does not suffice for the scale on which Modern Industry is carried on, and is swamped in the competition with the large capitalists, partly because their specialised skill is rendered worthless by new methods of production. Thus the proletariat is recruited from all classes of the population.

 
 

dammit!
Don’t forget FDRGOD. In the tide of time, hHe came first

effing proofreading, how does it work?

 
 

This made me laugh. If you really want to lose EVERYTHING, may I recommend Manos Hands of Fate or for the Canucks here… The Final Sacrifice.

Holy crap — thanks for reminding me of the Manos episode. I damn near flunked a test in college because of that one.

The one where they do Mitchell is a classic, as is the Japanese Planet of the Apes take off they skewered. Many a POOP flinging reference.

Oh, and to the Typical Teatard Troll:

DANCE, BADGERS!! DANCE!!

 
 

Do you realize that government can only hinder and interfere?

shorter Wankee: So when I elect you to the highest office in the land, I want to make sure you do absolutely nothing. That’s how you’ll get my vote.

 
 

Mitchell!

Gots it on DVD. Joe Don Baker as leading man? BeeRILLyant.

 
 

Poltical correctness has gone amuk here in America and also in Europe. Take for example a new movie version of Red Riding Hood which is based on a 14th century French Folktale. This legend is very important to the French people and wolf attacks were very much a reality of life during medieval Europe. And in this new movie their are black people portrayed in Medevial French villages which is not only historically inacurate but politically correct in the most absurd.

 
 

In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society into various orders, a manifold gradation of social rank. In ancient Rome we have patricians, knights, plebeians, slaves; in the Middle Ages, feudal lords, vassals, guild-masters, journeymen, apprentices, serfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate gradations.

 
 

I call fake Gray Ghost.

 
 

Do YOU have robot insurance?

RISC again!

 
 

I call fake Gray Ghost.

I dunno, Roman knights is a nice touch.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck's mother
 

This legend is very important to the French people

Yes, my friends in Paris are constantly talking about how important Little Red Riding Hood is to them… it ranks way higher than unicorns, leprechauns… but not quite as high as Gray Ghost and his legendary blowjobs.

 
 

This legend is very important to the French people

NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE NUTTY PROFESSOR.

 
 

“NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE NUTTY PROFESSOR.”

Rofl

 
 

Gots it on DVD. Joe Don Baker as leading man? BeeRILLyant.

If I remember correctly that’s the one where the car being chased in the chase scene uses it’s turn signals at every turn.

 
 

their are black people portrayed in Medevial French villages which is not only historically inacurate

why, you are correct, sir! filmmakers have always been mindful of complete accuracy, historical and otherwise…that’s why charlton heston was a perfect moses…

 
 

The People’s Republic of China does a great rendition of Red Riding Hood. I especially liked the sequence where 75 zillion wolves flood over the steppes and through the Gobi Desert, all of them disguised in their little red riding hoods, holding their little red books.

 
 

The People’s Republic of China does a great rendition of Red Riding Hood. I especially liked the sequence where 75 zillion wolves flood over the steppes and through the Gobi Desert, all of them disguised in their little red riding hoods, holding their little red books.

omg…i laffed…

 
 

It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, THREAD BEAR. try being Thread CARE, will ya?

 
 

I dunno, Roman knights is a nice touch.
Perfectly cromulent. The Equites ranked below the patricians.

 
 

Yes, my friends in Paris are constantly talking about how important Little Red Riding Hood is to them

Do they celebrate Sam the Sham day?

 
 

in this new movie their are black people portrayed in Medevial French villages which is not only historically inacurate but politically correct

Also, when the wolf says, “All the better to eat you with, dearie,” his voice is unrealistically effeminate, an obvious nod to the homosexual agenda.

 
 

Yeah, THREAD BEAR, instead of being a PAINBOW, you could be a RAINBOW.

 
 

When Red gives grandma croissants she bows in the direction of MECCA.

 
 

I suspect many S,N!aughts are commuting now so here’s some commuting music to get you there.

 
 

Wolves eat grandma. Huh. It’s a death panel allegory. But how do you decide what’s God’s will? Did Little Red Rising Hood sin by cutting the wolf open and freeing Grandma (chew your food, people), thus second-guessing the mysterious ways of the Lord? Or was she fulfilling God’s plan, in which case, why did anyone ever get killed by wolves? Either God didn’t care about everybody’s grandma, or whatever. Bored now.

 
 

“We’re supposed to go to some place called the Pacific Ocean…”

Damn, I just about popped a vein. I know this stuff is old but I never watched it back in the day.

 
 

I don’t understand teh hatred on the right over high speed rail networks.

See above re: “liberals support it.”

 
 

Damn, I just about popped a vein. I know this stuff is old but I never watched it back in the day.

srsly?!?!? i fondly remember many a saturday morning snuggling on the couch with my kids and laffing our butts off…

 
 

People. Great Ghost is just quoting the Communist Manifesto, as we all do when we wake and before we go to sleep.

Gray Ghost is probably Ross Douthat, using his nym to gloat over the way he knocked off the Gray Lady.

 
 

and OC, thanks for the link…now i know what i will be spending a great deal of time on in the near future. is there any way to save video to the ipad so it could be viewed w/out wi-fi? i have to bartend tonight and we don’t have wifi, but would be highly amused by watching some MST3K. although we may be super busy tonight since we have finally unthawed from our sub-zero cold snap!

 
 

OMG A SPECTRE IS HAUNTING EUROPE!

 
 

A thread about iPad video. I do not own the gadget and cannot vouch for the advice.

 
 

bbfk, you can download many mst3k episodes from iTunes.

 
 

Do not leave out the MiSTy classic Space Mutiny. I will probably have to pull out the MiSTy dvds tonight and watch one now.

 
 

Is that the one with the inexplicable screaming?

 
 

their are black people portrayed in Medevial French villages which is not only historically inacurate but politically correct

I’m intrigued. Is this genuinely a new point of poutrage among the Big Hollywood readership? Is it a parody of the outcry that ensues whenever a BBC / PBS adaptation of a Dickens novel casts a black actress for some role (because the entire population London during the heyday of the British Empire was white)?

 
 

Btw, since we’re on the subject, there’s an entry up at my blog where I ask everyone what their fave funny movie lines are.

 
 

Do they celebrate Sam the Sham day?

That’s in Egypt, innit?

 
 

You know, when someone has a line like this somewhere in a rambling statement:

* Mr. Candidate, never insult the American people. They’re a lot smarter than you imagine, and they have much longer memories than you imagine.

And immediately follows it with a line like this:

* The American people are more than smart enough to determine if they need or want to go to college.

I have to think someone may not have the slightest idea what the heck they’re talking about.

 
 

* Government jobs don’t create wealth, they consume it.

Riiiight, I’ll be sure to tell Boeing, General Dynamics, the trans contental railroad, GE, Chevy, Ford, the California Central Valley, Las Vegas, the Electrified South…

 
 

Electrified South

Aren’t they!

 
 

Another ourageous example of political correctness in the modern day film industry is the recent adaption of the movie Thor. Thor is supposed to be about the ancient Norse gods and yet the actor playing the god Thor is you’re never gonna guess…..Wait for it…..A black rapper!

This is an absolute outrage and an insult to White people everywhere. Thor was supposed to be the whitest of the gods and yet he is played by a black man! Why does Hollywood feel the need to pervert the legends and folklore of the White race by adding diversity into the story?

Apparently White people are not allowed to have anything that is their own according to the politically correct leftists in charge of Hollywood.

 
 

It’s true. White people never get anything. It’s so unfair.

 
 

Thor is supposed to be about the ancient Norse gods and yet the actor playing the god Thor is you’re never gonna guess…..Wait for it…..A black rapper!

Conservatives really are color-blind!

Piefilter

 
 

Actually, the black actor in Thor plays a villain, not the title hero, but don’t let facts get in the way of a good old fashioned white-power rant. By all means, carry on.

 
 

I demand that the movie of Thor be realistic and that he therefore battle Hercules.

 
 

Regardless, their were no blacks in Ancient Scandinavia. This is just as absurd as the modern day adaptions of Robin Hood which have moeslms and black in Sherwood forest. Personally I rarely watch any modern films, preferring to watch films from the pre-politically correct era. My personal favorites are the old Western films from the early 1900s to the 1950s.

Modern day films with all of their political correctnes, diversity, profanity and sexual content are mainly their to provide shock and awe and to otherwise cover up mostly horrific acting and dull storylines.

 
 

Another outrageous example of political correctness in the gaping asshole industry is that you can’t see the face of the Goatse guy. How can he possibly be shamed if you can’t see who it is? This is supposed to represent the ancient god of the moon and yet all you see is two hams and a black hole.

This is an absolute outrage and an insult to tight butt people everywhere. Goatse was supposed to be the widest of the gapers and yet he is hardly bigger than a soda can! Why does The Internet feel the need to pervert the legends and folklore of the gay race by removing space from the asshole?

Apparently we are not allowed to have anything as large as a softball up their ass according to the politically correct leftists in charge of The Internet.

I! Am! Thor!

.

.

.

…and so should you be.

 
 

Actually actually, the “black rapper” (really a talented actor) plays another of the Norse gawds, the security guard one who collects the tolls at the RAINBOW (or PAINBOW) Bridge.

 
 

Oh my. Thor is hot

I never would have guessed he was black.

 
 

Thor won the Loogie!! Per IMDb.

Won Logie for Most Popular New Male Talent (May 2005)

 
 

Rainbow Bridge = HOMOSECHCHUAL AGENDA!!!!

 
 

Most modern day films are nothing but leftwing trash masquerading as film. Do they really need all of that gore, nudity, profanity and political correctness in order to tell a good story? Like I said, it is their to provide shock and awe, to promote a leftwing world view and to otherwise cover up bad acting.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is this genuinely a new point of poutrage among the Big Hollywood readership?

Yes. It’s been kicking around for about a week–I thought y’all knew it was a thing.

It’s….sad. Really sad. These people must live empty, empty lives.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I am enjoying the overly stiff and wordy style of this fake troll, but NEEDS MOAR MISSPELLINGS.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Bouffant, I am NOT clicking that link.

 
 

Wait. Maybe I am gay, kinda. But I can still keep it in my pants.

About former meth dealer and escort Mike Jones, Haggard says: “We never had sex sex. I bought drugs and a massage from him, and he masturbated me at the end of it. That’s it.”

 
 

It’s nothing: Peter grows extra arms.

Tip for the procreative: comic-book sound effects are an easy measure of whether or not your kid is actually putting letters together or just remembering words. Plus they’re stupid so the kid will laugh.

 
 

Trig is MikeM’s study-buddy. The smarter one of the pair.

Trig feels very, very smart when he is tutoring MikeM.

 
 

“You know, that’s really the core issue here,” [Haggard] added. “I bought the drugs to enhance masturbation. Because what crystal meth does–Mike taught me this–crystal meth makes it so you don’t ejaculate soon.”

Ladies take note!

 
 

Kapow! Zam! Oof!

 
 

NOT clicking that link

It’s perfectly OK. All talk, no pictures.

 
 

It’s nothing: Peter grows extra arms

Bifurcated?

 
 

“Oh my. Thor is hot

I never would have guessed he was black.”

I know. Talk about passing.

 
 

Well, hey, if the topic is films, I’ll just recap what I said over at roy’s joint, RE: The King’s Speech:

I think the film would have been more entertaining if they had taken some artistic license and made the King a sufferer of Tourette’s rather than afflicted with a stutter. The moment of triumph and denouement would come when the King delivers his speech and only refers to his subjects as “bloody cocksuckers” and “limey motherfuckers” once or twice each.

 
 

These people must live empty, empty lives.
And yet, not enough time to look up the details of trade between French ports and North Africa during the 12th to 14th century, nor the proximity of France to the Moorish kingdoms in Iberia, nor the presence of Moorish characters in the romances of Parzival and Willehalm.

Shorter version: “black people in Medevial French villages is not historically inacurate”.

Boring parody troll is boring. How about a rant about the way that medieval Christian iconography came to depict one of the three Magi (usually King Balthazar) as Black? Political Soundness!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And yet, not enough time to look up the details of trade between French ports and North Africa during the 12th to 14th century, nor the proximity of France to the Moorish kingdoms in Iberia, nor the presence of Moorish characters in the romances of Parzival and Willehalm.

I know, right? You’d think they’d at least remember something about Othello or some shit and maybe make the connection that it was possible.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

this year’s Joe Wilson.

Ah, yes, I saw that unfold. God bless Missourah!

 
 

crystal meth makes it so you don’t ejaculate soon.”
Somebody’s stil got True Grit on the big bald noggin.

 
 

I dunno, typing on the internet is a little more obscure than yelling YOU LIE during the speech. Pretty weak.

 
 

That was my grabber. Like “SEX! now that I’ve got your attention…”

Really I just wanted everyone to laugh at his dumb fucking tweets.

 
 

Electrified South

Zombie Rotten McDonald and the Electrified South.

BAND NAME!!!!

Also, vs, do NOT get me started on MST3K DVDs. I spent a bit of time on the trading sites a while back, and at this point, I am only missing a few episodes of all ten seasons…

 
 

“crystal meth makes it so you don’t ejaculate soon.”
Somebody’s stil got True Grit on the big bald noggin.”

Meth is still prolly better than sandpaper.

 
 

Thor was supposed to be the whitest of the gods and yet he is played by a black man! Why does Hollywood feel the need to pervert the legends and folklore of the White race by adding diversity into the story?

I almost hate to tell this nimrod that the gods are made-up. They can be anything we want them to be.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That was my grabber. Like “SEX! now that I’ve got your attention…”

I would have written “This year’s Joe Wilson?” like some sort of bad speculative headline from Fox News. Which is probably why I can never get anyone to read my links.

 
 

“Also, vs, do NOT get me started on MST3K DVDs. I spent a bit of time on the trading sites a while back, and at this point, I am only missing a few episodes of all ten seasons…”

Oh dear. We must discuss this. Privately if necessary. Loved that show since the mid-90’s.

 
 

White Christian Civilization

Man, that Palestinian Jew was some altruist, dying for a race that wasn’t even his.

 
 

….to otherwise cover up bad acting.

enough gore, you can cover up ANYTHING.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Man, that Palestinian Jew was some altruist, dying for a race that wasn’t even his.

I’d be pissed if they named a club after me but wouldn’t let me in.

 
 

I bet Ted Haggard is Thor too.

 
 

WE’RE ALL THOR NOW!

 
 

I’d be pissed if they named a club after me but wouldn’t let me in.

I LOL’d. Welcome to conservatism.

 
 

CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HARDLY AMERICAN AT ALL.

Oh, bloody God, we’ve been over this. Captain America was an Irish city boy from Lower East Side Manhattan. No matter what it said on his birth certificate, the Real Americans of his age would have hated that smelly job-stealing terrorist city boy with the same passion that their descendants deploy against Latinos and Muslims.

 
 

Hell; wingnuts, you’ve still got Tony Stark. Why isn’t Tony Stark good enough for you?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HARDLY AMERICAN AT ALL.

Damn, he’s really upset about his outfit.

 
 

It’s what’s outside that matters.

 
 

“Last week, Representative Broun scoffed at the proposal that Republicans and Democrats sit together during Obama’s speech, calling the idea a “trap.” Broun said that, “sitting together being kissy-kissy is just another way to try to silence Republicans.” ”

He’s got a point. They were a lot calmer this time. The crazy feeds on itself.

 
 

“I bet Ted Haggard is Thor too.”

I little lube helps prevent that.

 
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain
 

In regards Boggy Creek II: “We’re going camping, and you’re gonna watch.”

I have every episode in .avi format. Which ones are you missing?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

GAY THOR.

I made the cat jump about ten feet due to the snorfling.

 
 

““I bet Ted Haggard is Thor too.”

I little lube helps prevent that.”

Is it just me or has everyone been spectacularly funny today?

 
 

….to otherwise cover up bad acting.
enough gore, you can cover up ANYTHING.

He’s not really that fat.

 
 

I’ve been thwinging a hammer all day and boy, are my arms thore.

 
 

Is it just me or has everyone been spectacularly funny today?

It’s just you. At least it’s apparently not everyone, because I thought my King’s Speech bit was the shit. Do I get any love? NOOOOOO.

pout

 
 

“….to otherwise cover up bad acting.
enough gore, you can cover up ANYTHING.

He’s not really that fat.”

Goddammit. You have to STOP. am I just too easily amused today? Nope. Its genuinely funneh up in heyur.

 
 

“Sadly, our comic book heroes have been undergoing a PC-ing for years making them less heroic and more liberal every year. This new Captain America film is just one more effort in that campaign.”

Because you can’t be heroic unless you have the flag tattooed on your wang, you think gays are kinda icky (though your dress may tell a different story), and you drive a Hummer.

 
moderately good looking not so hunchback
 

The King’s Speech
Starring Samuel L. Jackson

 
 

“The King’s Speech”

Fun fact: filmed in Arkansas

Btw, Jennifer, I’d be much more likely to watch the version you imagine.

 
 

The bridge – I lurk under it:

“Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time.”

Virtually every single reputable scientist in the field says otherwise – as do all those lying socialist weather satellites & thermometers around the globe, & the crypto-Marxist disappearing glaciers & icecaps. Go tell the Inuit or the Pacific Islanders or the Bangladeshis about what a “hoax” AGW is – what with their homelands literally disintegrating before their eyes, I’m guessing they could use a good laugh right about now.

“terrorism is warfare, not crime”

No, terrorism is a tactic. The Muslim world spent years treating Al-Qaeda as warriors while their numbers swelled & the body-count rose. Once they started treating them as criminals, their influence waned & attacks dropped off. Bin Laden wasn’t hiding in Afghanistan in 2001 because he liked the scenery – he was driven there by the desire to avoid arrest. In Islam, a just Holy War is noble but crime is offensive to Allah. Martyrs go to Paradise, murderers go to hell. Defeating a determined enemy requires understanding how they think, why they think the way they do, & anticipating their next move.
Posted by: jim at January 26, 2011 09:45 PM

Deletion & Banhammer in 4 … 3 … 2 …

It’s easier just to believe a lie, even if it makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

Fact: North America has indeed seen cooling recently.

Unpleasant Corollary: It’s just about the only region on Earth that is cooling, & I wouldn’t bet a kidney on this anomalous trend continuing for much longer.

Shakhova notes that Earth’s geological record indicates that atmospheric methane concentrations have varied between about .3 to .4 parts per million during cold periods to .6 to .7 parts per million during warm periods. Current average methane concentrations in the Arctic average about 1.85 parts per million, the highest in 400,000 years, she said. Concentrations above the East Siberian Arctic Shelf are even higher.

That lie is going to get a lot harder to believe in the next 15 years without a little help from Mr. LSD.

 
 

** “Anymore” is NOT A WORD.

Irregardless and nonetheless, clmatologists can not be trusted because they can’t be trusted.

 
 

….to otherwise cover up bad acting

enough gore, you can cover up ANYTHING.

At least someone is paying attention.

 
 

“Quoth the raven, Anymore”

 
 

Because you can’t be heroic unless you have the flag tattooed on your wang, you think gays are kinda icky (though your dress may tell a different story), and you drive a Hummer.

I don’t know about heroic, but slutty, closet-case, flag-dicked, blowjob virtuosos are HAWT.

Yes, I have a type. Don’t judge.

 
 

our comic book heroes
Some little pissant is claiming part-ownership of characters that were created by writers and artists and subsequently bought by large corporations? Good luck with the intellectual-property lawsuit.

 
 

Ya better believe that Obummer’s ding dong dummy speech will send his rancid ratings a tumble-wumblin’! Ding dong dilly!

FAIL.

 
 

I almost hate to tell this nimrod that the gods are made-up.
BALDUR USES MASCARA!!

 
 

They were a lot calmer this time.

They let them bring their Crackberries along this time.

Although painting all the furniture with a high-concentration thorazine-demerol mix probably didn’t hurt. Ditto the hugboxes in the lobby.

 
 

BALDUR USES MASCARA!!
Insert “Flyte Club” joke here.

 
 

GAWDAMN U whoever it was that brought up MST3K. The Ho put in Mitchell and won’t let me turn it off.

 
 

Ha! The Ho has fine taste.

 
 

Saddest four words in the English language:

Gay has no friends.

At least she has dogs.

 
 

I was going to say something about February 19 but I got Gay Thored and now I’m using my Iroquois Confederacy flag to clean my monitor.

 
 

Open Cahoots said,

January 26, 2011 at 20:03

America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.

This remains both the most succinct description of the Tea Party and the most perfect litmus test of potential Tea Partiers I’ve ever heard.

The test of course being (h/t/ Berke Breathed), “Can you repeat both sentences without dissolving into gales of laughter?”

 
 

Rats. Having trouble with a helpful cat..

Open Cahoots said,

January 26, 2011 at 20:03

America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.

This remains both the most succinct description of the Tea Party and the most perfect litmus test of potential Tea Partiers I’ve ever heard.

The test of course being (h/t/ Berke Breathed), “Can you repeat both sentences without dissolving into gales of laughter?”

Leave a Comment

 
 

* Global Warming is the biggest scientific hoax of all time. If you fall for that, you’ll fall for anything.”

Climate scientists are in the pocket of the Curley-Cue Light Bulb Industry and Big Prius.

 
 

Mike Jones goes into some detail about Haggard’s love of masturbation in I Had to Say Something, his account of his meth and sex relationship with Haggard. Yeah, I’d say the kids these days say bisexual. Or, they might have some other word for it. Regardless, it seems to me that Haggard owes Jones’s an apology for claiming that Jones’s is a liar:

The next time he [Haggard] came, he was ready to burst. “I am so ready to go!” [Haggard] told me, rushing into the massage room. Within seconds, he was undressed and called for me to come in right away…

“Jack me off now!” he said. Standing completely naked, he was very hard and very excited. I placed him on his back on the massage table and started stroking him. His body was so stimulated that I feared he would go into convulsions. Within minutes, the magic was over. “Wow,” I said before he could. “That was quick.”

His panting was heavy as he lay there in an intense afterglow. Five minutes later he was reaching for my crotch and fondling it madly. A few more minutes of intense rubbing, and he was hard again. I grabbed his dick and soon he ejaculated again.

“You stud!” I told him, slapping his butt.

 
 

drive a Hummer

That sounds as difficult as flying a handjob.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

wolf vostell said,
January 27, 2011 at 4:35

OH GOD WHY DID I READ IT AND WHY DID I KEEP ON READING IT????

 
 

OH GOD WHY DID I READ IT AND WHY DID I KEEP ON READING IT????

Your cat is insufficiently amusing.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Your cat is insufficiently amusing.

Look, she may piss on my favorite handbags*, but she’s not responsible for my poor impulse control.

*Dudecat pissed on my favorite shoes. At least they’re not a team anymore.

 
 

OH GOD WHY DID I READ IT AND WHY DID I KEEP ON READING IT????

Yes, what wolf did should be illegal. He drove that hummer into a ditch so to speak. And it wasn’t even his Hummer!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yes, what wolf did should be illegal. He drove that hummer into a ditch so to speak. And it wasn’t even his Hummer!

I like the dude and all, but I may have to switch back to Firefox and put him in the kill file just for that.

 
 

she’s not responsible for my poor impulse control

How do you know that? She may be a 5000-year-old demon* controlling your every action.

*Tell me you don’t think this once in while when you look in her eyes.

 
 

I may have to switch back to Firefox and put him in the kill file just for that.

If you’re using Chrome check this out:

http://mashable.com/2010/02/01/google-chrome-greasemonkey-2/

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*Tell me you don’t think this once in while when you look in her eyes.

Well, I didn’t until now! Thanks a lot, Ned.

 
 

I didn’t until now!

You don’t have much experience with cats*, do you?

*Yes, I’m skipping the obvious joke.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If you’re using Chrome check this out:

Eeeee! Thank you. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to search for it.

I had stopped using Chrome for a while and went back to Firefox, but fucking Firefox is so fucking SLOW on this computer that I switched back.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You don’t have much experience with cats*, do you?

Dude, I’m a fucking libraryless librarian.

But not this particular one, no. She’s too dumb to be a demon.

 
 

libraryless librarian.

“It’s almost tragic, in a maudlin kind of way.”

 
 

I live with multiple cats, and I can verify that
that
that
that they are the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful mammalian species I’ve ever known in my life.

 
 

I live with multiple cats

They have shots for that these days.

 
 

BTW: complete white-out in Brooklyn. We’re supposed to get 8 to 11 inches of snow tonight and it looks like it’s all coming down right now. And lightning. I love snow-storm lightning.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I love snow-storm lightning.

I’ve never seen such a thing.

I’m hoping we’re done with the snow dumps for the season; usually February around here is just sleety and grey and HORRIBLE, which isn’t as fun as snow, but at least my car can drive in it.

 
 

I’ve never seen such a thing.

We had it in the big blizzard on Boxing Day, too.

 
 

Today in big babyism.

Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) says the Republican Party has a plan:
“The Republican Party is the party of K-N-O-W. We know how to lower the cost of health care. We know how to take care of the uninsurable. We know how to put patients in charge of their health care and have a market-based, patient centered health care system that’s not going to kill jobs like ObamaCare is going to do. And we know how to stimulate the economy. We know how to create jobs in the private sector. We know how to prevent this huge government takeover of health care as well as all of society.” http://www.dailykos.com/

But were not gonna a tell you. Nya! Nya! NaNaNya! Suck on it Libs.

 
 

Okay, okay, I’ll take it easy. In the words of the mortal Ted Haggard:
“I don’t want to stand up publicly and say, ‘Hey, I’m a masturbation guy!'”

I should, however, note that that delightful quote from I Had to Say Something is early in the book, before Ted and Mike do meth, watch hard core porn, butt fuck, ride a motorcycle, or play together with a penis pump and assorted sex toys.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yup, I just had to check in one more time before going to bed. Couldn’t let it go…nope….

I’m glad I have sleeping pills.

 
 

We’re supposed to get 8 to 11 inches of snow tonight and it looks like it’s all coming down right now.

Up here in the Dominion Of Canuckleheads, I’ve got my window open & it’s 45 degrees Fahrenheit … well after dark … in January.

BUT AL GORE IS FAAAAAAAAAT*!
_____________
*Actually, not so much any more.

 
 

* You must be personally humble. ‘I’ should be a tiny part of your private vocabulary and an even smaller part of your public vocabulary. But in your representation of America’s values and interests, you must be proud, fierce, resolute and honorable, for the people you represent are all of those things and more. Those who are full of hubris never end well, nor does their nation.

Humility good, hubris bad — difficult to disagree.

Not for me it’s not!

Okay, if I’m being generous, maybe he meant “‘I’ should be a tiny part of your… vocabulary” metaphorically, but if I’m being honest, no he didn’t.
Language Log got on top of this a while back, and the upshot is that Obama, if anything, uses fewer first person pronouns then the last two presidents, besides which, the excessive use of first person pronouns often indicates humility.

Eg “You know, I’ve never really cared for the Beatles, but that’s just my opinion” is much more humble then “The Beatles suck.” even though the former uses two personal pronouns and the latter doesn’t refer back to the speaker at all.

This “Obama is really arrogant!” thing strikes me as being a lot like the “Obama is a muslim!” in that both are actually countered by the evidence, and even if they weren’t, they’d be totally irrelevant.

 
 

Christopher – fair enough, you’ve done the research. PS the Beatles suck

 
 

I love snow-storm lightning.

I’ve never seen such a thing.
____________________________

The big Northeast snow blizzard the day after Christmas: Snow-storm lightning.

 
 

And Nunavut has been warmer than Minneapolis but this is totally normal.

 
 

America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Now repeal Obamacare before my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.

It’s good for the brevity. But to be slightly more accurate, this fix:

‘America is the most generous nation to exist in the tide of time. Now repeal Obamacare before a small portion of my money gets stolen to save some poor loser’s life.’

 
 

From Christopher’s link:
Studies consistently find the opposite: people higher in the social hierarchy use “I” words less. The secure boss is surveying her or his kingdom calculating how to get more goodies. The insecure underlings are trying to control their behaviors so as not to offend the leader.

And yet W exhibited heavy “I” usage… [strokes chin]

Now measure Cheney!

 
 

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/01/wyoming_will_try_to_outlaw_sharia_too.php?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TPMmuckraker+%28TPMmuckraker%29

“State Rep. Gerald Gay (R) is proposing a similar ballot measure that would prevent judges from using sharia, or Islamic, law in their decisions. Like the Oklahoma measure, it would also block “international” law — which could cause unseen effects for Wyoming’s American Indian population.

And, again like in Oklahoma, Gay admits that sharia has not been a problem in his state.”

Fuckin’ Gay Agenda

 
 

John Hawkins is a tool.

 
 

One of the first goals that Karl Marx promoted for establishing communism was the eradication of tradition, religious faith and old fashioned morality and discrediting National Heros such as Our Founding Fathers. We have seen this beginning with the 1964 Civil Rights Act. This first act of leftwing activism than led to affirmative action, non-white immigration, feminism, gay rights and a host of other social reengineering polices all under the very communist banner of diversity.

epic fail

 
 

No! No! No! Karl Marx was all about the butt sex, forcing people to say “Happy Hollidays”, electric cars and internet porn. Especially internet porn. You are reading him to narrowly.

 
 

people higher in the social hierarchy use “I” words less.
One agrees, and so does one’s husband.

 
 

gocart always refers to himself in the third person because gocart is modest.

 
 

Oh, sweet thundersnow, John Hawkins. I haven’t read him in a healthy couple of years but he’s still writing the same column he wrote in 2007. Not only does he link to himself in the new column, he plagiarizes himself several time, again. Ouch. Is that business with numbering everything contagious?

Did you notice that you can buy a month’s worth of continuous banner ads on his linkiest.com site for $150? Assuming it’s not a scam, a big assumption, that’s very tempting. I hate to support the guy but it’s very tempting to, say, make a handsome banner with the wikileaks URL and lose $150 just to see what happens. Maybe the CPUSA needs a little exposure?

 
 

I just had the misfortune of clicking SubMcG’s link and I have to say that if one (notice no “I’) were to switch everything he said to the OPPOSITE, one would be close to the exact truth.

 
 

…question mark…

 
 

Nah.

Now if that had been a weed-firing TREBUCHET … ohhhhh yeah baby.

 
 

Needs moar railguns.

 
 

“Substance McGravitas said,
January 27, 2011 at 6:40

White people are like this and liberals are like that.”

Shitty way to start the day.

Hawkins IS a tool. The kind of tool one might use to remove impacted poo from the butt.

Everything he said was 100% wrong. But I’m sure in his world the sky is orange.

 
A well regulated militia of heavily armed lunatics
 

You must be personally humble. ‘I’ should be a tiny part of your private vocabulary and an even smaller part of your public vocabulary.

You mean, never say dumb shit like “I am the decider”, right?

 
Ice Nine & Snidely Whiplash & The Variants Thereof
 

I like marmalade skies. Tangerine trees, too.

 
Ice Nine & Snidely Whiplash & The Variants Thereof
 

And here’s Lucy….

Have fun all.

 
 

I’m wondering if the weed firing catapult has something to do with electronic sensors that could be near the fence. They could fire drugs beyong those sensors range to other side to be gathered, without alarming the boarder patrol about it.

Secondary, it is a disquise. If border patrol comes up they can pretend to be drunken engineering students on vacation fooling around.

 
 

* America’s economic system is capitalism. Its expression is free enterprise. It’s engine is small business and the rest of the private sector. Do you notice that government has no part in that? Do you realize that government can only hinder and interfere?

Okay, I’ve got paper cuts from thumbing through my office copy of the constitution (complete with amendments.) What Article/Amendment encompasses that line?

 
 

Glenn Beck now routinely flirts with ratings in the 1.6-1.8 million range, which is almost exactly half the rating Beck was getting one year ago.

You know, I wonder how much of that is people who got pissed off because he was taking other conservatives to task (e.g. the governor who just said “you’re not my brother unless you’re Christian” and got lectured). Or people who resent the Christ card being played so often by a Mormon.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And here I was hoping that it was because people realized he’s full of shit. Thanks, Chris.

 
 

Just because everyone says he’s full of shit doesn’t mean he’s not full of shit.

 
 

Shorter John Hinderaker:

Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va) telling Arab tv that Southerners don’t like black people “may not technically constitute treason” against Real Americans, but I wouldn’t mind seeing him hanged for it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m not sure how this is going to sit with Palin’s crowd.

And, Jesus Christ: “Asked about Michele Bachmann’s response to the State of the Union, Palin indicated that she liked her speech, as well as the official GOP response by Rep. Paul Ryan, saying both ‘were really good and they were sound. They were sound because they were in opposition to president Obama’s message.'”

I mean, I guess you have to appreciate her unintentional honesty?

 
 

‘Palin also called for the elimination of National Public Radio and the National Endowment for the Arts, calling them “fluffery.” ‘

I came.

 
 

They were sound because they were in opposition to president Obama’s message.

Sarah Palin is right because she is not wrong. Refudiate that logic, loony libs!

 
 

Another outrageous example of political correctness in the modern day film industry is the recent (1960) adaption of the movie Spartacus. Spartacus is supposed to be about the slave rebellion in ancient Rome and yet the actors playing Spartacus, Crassus, etc. are, you’re never gonna guess…..Wait for it…..speaking English!

This is an absolute outrage and an insult to ancient Romans everywhere.

 
 

They were sound because they were in opposition to president Obama’s message.

Hey, people ask you a question and they want some words back when you answer, right? Choosing the words is not as important as making the effort to answer.

 
 

“Why is Obama wrong?” is one of the gotcha-est questions of all time. Almost as bad as “what newspaper do you read?” or “do you support President Bush?”

 
 

mark f: Sarah Palin is right because she is not wrong. Refudiate that logic, loony libs!

The first problem on the questionnaire read “You are: a.) Mohammed b.) Mussolini c.) Disraeli d.) yourself. Cross out all the answers that are wrong.” X refused to cross out any but Mussolini, as he said Mussolini was the only one who was wrong.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

‘Palin also called for the elimination of National Public Radio and the National Endowment for the Arts, calling them “fluffery.” ‘

A woman who has read all the newspapers and has gotten into a public fight with her daughter’s baby daddy should know a thing or two about fluffery, I guess.

 
 

BTW: complete white-out in Brooklyn. We’re supposed to get 8 to 11 inches of snow tonight and it looks like it’s all coming down right now. And lightning. I love snow-storm lightning.

What’s your walkability score NOW? Bwahahahahaha

 
 

What’s your walkability score NOW?

I’ve got boots. Mini__B is trapped at home because he depends on wheels.

 
 

And here I was hoping that it was because people realized he’s full of shit. Thanks, Chris.

Always a pleasure.

And it’s not necessarily bad news; if the righties were to turn on themselves and if the civil wars were to last, that would be good for us (witness the way the hard left in Europe’s been at war with itself for decades; that was the inspiration for the “People’s Front of Judea/Judean People’s Front meme).

I don’t think that’s likely right now, but it’s not impossible given how fucking nuts they’re getting.

 
 

I’ve got boots. Mini__B is trapped at home because he depends on wheels.

I’m just jealous because it’s a beautiful day here and I STILL can’t walk anywhere worth walking to.

 
 

I STILL can’t walk anywhere worth walking to.

When I was a kid and had nothing to do, my father would ask “Want to walk to the city line?” It was about four miles of nothing much. We’d get there, go “Yup,” turn around and walk home.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I walked to work. A quarter of it was on the side of a road in nasty snow with cars whizzing past at 60 mph. Then I got to a sidewalk and it was quite lovely.

My co-worker is a total bitch. And I’m a horrible person for feeling a bit schaudenfreudey that she’s gotten a little beer belly?

 
 

And I’m a horrible person for feeling a bit schaudenfreudey that she’s gotten a little beer belly?

Have you tried sticking a tap in her navel to see if beer – sweet, sweet beer – flows out?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Have you tried sticking a tap in her navel to see if beer – sweet, sweet beer – flows out?

No, I’m pretty sure it would be tainted and evil. Or at least really, really bland.

 
 

When I was a kid and had nothing to do, my father would ask “Want to walk to the city line?”

Well aren’t we grand? “No more buttered scones for me, mater, I’m off to the city line.”

 
 

Well aren’t we grand?

We walked eight miles with our pinkies sticking out.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

We walked eight miles with our pinkies sticking out.

I hate it when people don’t tell me my fly is open.

 
 

LUXURY! We walked 100 kilometers uphill in the snow using cardboard boxes as boots.

My 10 minute walk from the train station to the office used to not have sidewalks. It was pretty brutal when there was rain or snow. So much better now.

 
 

I hate it when people don’t tell me my fly is open.

No one told me you’re a dude.

 
 

A quarter of it was on the side of a road in nasty snow with cars whizzing past at 60 mph.

Yikes. I’ve done some exploring to see if I can improve my own foot-commute and it’s surprising how many areas are built for cars and not humans.

Be careful out there!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No one told me you’re a dude.

I hate it when that happens, too.

Yikes. I’ve done some exploring to see if I can improve my own foot-commute and it’s surprising how many areas are built for cars and not humans.

It’s frustrating. I live a mile from work, but if I want to take a route with sidewalks all the way, it’s over 2 miles. And they haven’t done anything with the sidewalks all winter, of course, so that’s out the question.

I need to get some snowboots, too. That would help substantially.

 
 

No on ever tells me when there’s lipstick on my teeth. Grrrr. I’m flashing my dimples to everyone and there are tiny marks on my front two teef. Nice.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No on ever tells me when there’s lipstick on my teeth.

Have you tried the trick of putting your index finger in your mouth like you’re going to suck on it and then pulling it out?* It removes the excess lipstick from the inside of your lips. The one time I did not do it, I had lipstick toofs.

*Yes, I know.

 
 

Mini__B is trapped at home because he depends on wheels.

of interest to zombies, possibly.

 
 

No, but I’m gonna do it now.

 
 

No, I’m pretty sure it would be tainted and evil.

Ahhh. Budweiser.

 
 

“of interest to zombies, possibly.”

WRONG! (and funny)

 
 

surprising how many areas are built for cars and not humans.

not to me. A personal gripe.

 
 

No, but I’m gonna do it now.

YouTube link or it didn’t happen.

 
 

WRONG!

that’s just the breeder in you speaking.

 
 

of interest to zombies, possibly.

Shamblers would have to get past the doorman and up thirteen flights of stairs. Unlikely.

 
 

I imagine it would be difficult to type with a breeder inside me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No, but I’m gonna do it now.

It totally works. I like to use a clear lipliner, too–that way I don’t have to buy, like, ten million lipliners to keep my lipstick from bleeding. (Although I rarely have that problem).

I love red lipstick, but I am lazy/clumsy/spazzy. And I like to eat fuds.

 
 

not to me. A personal gripe.

And one of mine, too, since I’ve started paying attention. It wasn’t as big a hassle to me even when I was a bike commuter, though there are plenty of places where it would be suicidal to go biking around where I live, even though it’s mostly residential.

 
 

Sarah Palin is right because she is not wrong Sarah Palin is right.

Fx’t for more MctArdletry.

I imagine it would be difficult to type concentrate with a breeder inside me.

Really. Unless you were writing “oh oh oh oh ohohohoh…”

Also, too: Rabbis are not happy with Glenn Beck. And Roger Ailes. Love the final sentence though. SOROS!!!!

 
 

I think red lipstick looks great, but I usually stick to fleshy tones because I have full lips…and I whenever I wear red lipstick, I always feel like “Hey!! look at me!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Xecky, yeah, the road I walk on has a bike lane. I don’t think I’d ride it (although I didn’t think I’d walk it, either), especially because there are huge snowbanks cutting into it.

All of this is complicated by the fact that my leg is still kinda weak and it’s more difficult for me to trudge through snow and get up hills than it would normally be, and quite frankly, I’m scared of hurting myself again.

 
 

Yes, this thread has been jacked by girly-talk. Deal with it.

 
 

I imagine it would be difficult to type with a breeder inside me.

voice recognition software.

Technology enriches our lives.

 
 

whenever I wear red lipstick, I always feel like “Hey!! look at me!”

As opposed to when you put your bewbies on display?*

.

.

* I keed. It was just too easy.

 
 

Yes, this thread has been jacked by girly-talk. Deal with it.

and zombie eating talk.

mmm, babby food.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think red lipstick looks great, but I usually stick to fleshy tones because I have full lips…and I whenever I wear red lipstick, I always feel like “Hey!! look at me!”

Yeah, I don’t wear it during the day unless I’m going for a vintagey thing and then I don’t wear much makeup besides that. I like lipsticks with a little more berry in them for the day, too–it’s almost like a red lipstick, but not so, you know…slutty.

 
 

“voice recognition software.

ly.”

I tried that Dragon once and it sucked.

WC-Awww, get off my case. *sticks out tongue*

 
 

Also, too: Rabbis are not happy with Glenn Beck. And Roger Ailes. Love the final sentence though. SOROS!!!!

I didn’t realize Judaism is “a George Soros backed left-wing political organization.” Hunh.

 
 

Yes, this thread has been jacked by girly-talk. Deal with it.
I for one am ready to turn this thread into a slumber party! we can give each other make overs! We can talk about boys! we can try on lingerie! we can have erotic pillow fights! …I’ll be in my bunk for the next few minutes.

 
 

Yes, this thread has been jacked by girly-talk. Deal with it.

Okay.

Hey fellas, ever put Gold Bond on your balls and then, after a sweaty day, it’s all glommed up? Yeah, that blows.

 
 

Who’s eating zombies?

re: 77

Now, who wants to braid my hair?

 
 

And I like to eat fuds.

IWN

 
 

Oh good–testes talk!! Pup-Max will be happy at least.

 
 

ever put Gold Bond on your balls and then, after a sweaty day, it’s all glommed up?

Who hasn’t? The fun part is showering and saying “No, Gold Bond, I expect you to die!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Can someone please explain to me why we are spending thousands of dollars on a consultant to help us win an award that doesn’t even involve money? Especially when we’re in a budget crunch?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Gold Bond on your balls and then, after a sweaty day, it’s all glommed up?

Ball sweat gravy! Delicious!

 
 

“Who hasn’t? The fun part is showering and saying “No, Gold Bond, I expect you to die!“”

THAT is funny.

Btw, Sub has a great rebuttal over at his blog in case you’re weary of talk of engorged lips and testicles.

 
 

Showering?

 
 

Showering?

You know how some women, right after they get engaged, run around shoving their left hand in everybody’s faces?

show-‘er-ring.

 
 

Can someone please explain to me why we are spending thousands of dollars on a consultant to help us win an award that doesn’t even involve money? Especially when we’re in a budget crunch?

the consultant recommended it.

 
 

the consultant recommended it.

Yes.

 
 

Netflix has a bunch of MST3K for streaming. See you in hell, responsibilities!

 
 

“Netflix has a bunch of MST3K for streaming. See you in hell, responsibilities!”

Ok, but you gotta check in once awhile and tell me which one yer watching.

 
 

Laserblast. Awesome.

 
 

Ok, but you gotta check in once awhile and tell me which one yer watching.

I just got the official release of MST 3K volumn XIX; robot Monster, Bride of the Monster, Devil Doll and Devil Fish. PLUS a little desktop Gypsy (made in China).

 
 

Oh my. Thor is hot

omg…thor can use his velvet hammer on me any time, if you know what i mean…and i think you do…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yes.

Heh. Look, I half-ass my job, so I’m not looking for a performance raise, but the fact I haven’t had one in three years and am actually making *less* now than I did two years ago irritates me when we’re doing this kind of shit.

 
 

Regardless, their were no blacks in Ancient Scandinavia

does this dude know that movies are pretend? and that suspending your disbelief and escaping reality is essential? wth?

 
 

OC, I know they have “Werewolf” at NETFLIX. you gotta do that one next.

 
 

Shut up, zombie! You can’t tell theyre Italian at all!

Very impressed you have your own Gypsy! *jealous*

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

I feel a bit of hope stirring in my breast…

That’s not hope, it’s actor groping you.

 
 

The fun part is after showering and saying “No, Gold Bond, I expect you to diery!“

Get it right.

 
 

“sitting together being kissy-kissy is just another way to try to silence Republicans.”

yes, it is difficult to talk with a big ol’ liberalcommiesocialistdemocrat tongue being shoved down your throat…

 
 

vs…so it would be just like downloading music? wow, have i been dumb!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s not hope, it’s actor groping you.

Oh. It happens so often, I hardly even notice anymore.

 
 

Yep, but a tad more pricey.

 
 

“I’ve been accused of dividing within that establishment of the Republican Party too for some years now,” she continued, “and I don’t see it as division. This is one thing that I love about the Republican Party — we believe in competition even within our own party, you know, and we don’t have the fighting instincts of a bunch of sheep like I think a lot of Democrats do.”

sarah palin is the brett favre of politics…let’s take any question about somebody else and turn it into ‘hey it’s me! look what i did and how much i suffered while doing it!’

 
 

Chris, apparently we were ALL wrong about the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was because they won the space race.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,

January 27, 2011 at 0:05

A thread about iPad video. I do not own the gadget and cannot vouch for the advice
thank you, sir! i’m scoping it out now…

BTW, i want you all to know that ever since i started reading s,n! my work productivity has declined dreadfully…

 
 

BTW, i want you all to know that ever since i started reading s,n! my work productivity has declined dreadfully…

But your screwing-around productivity is through the roof! And since the Repubs have taught us all that everything in life is zero-sum, you’re covered.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Isn’t “communist USSR” a little redundant, too? Also?

 
 

thanks n_b i feel better now…

 
 

Chris, apparently we were ALL wrong about the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was because they won the space race.

So Reagan didn’t single-handedly destroy the Communist USSR after all?

 
Dubious Provençal
 

‘Palin also called for the elimination of National Public Radio and the National Endowment for the Arts, calling them “fluffery.” ‘

So, she’s calling for the elimination of a private company now? Interesting.

Why Sarah hate America?

 
 

“BTW, i want you all to know that ever since i started reading s,n! my work productivity has declined dreadfully…”

Bull! I’ll bet it has declined laughingly.

 
 

Why Sarah hate America?

Because we didn’t elect her empress-queen-god.

 
 

Sarah IS Queen B.

 
 

Chris, apparently we were ALL wrong about the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was because they won the space race.

Yes, I saw that. Well done, Kennedy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You guys know that the Founding Fathers fought to eradicate slavery, too, right?

 
 

Bachman Murkan History 101 is down the hall.

 
 

Isn’t “communist USSR” a little redundant, too? Also?

Communist USSR is communist.

Either she’s trying to impress us with her political and foreign policy knowledge by using an uncannily descriptive adjective, or she’s trying to really stress the point that they were bad by cramming as many pejorative words in there as possible.

Whichever it is, she sounds like a middle schooler.

 
 

You guys know that the Founding Fathers fought to eradicate slavery, too, right?

Just to be clear, the Founding Fathers consist of Gearge Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Robert E Lee, Jefferson Davis and Strom Thurmond.

 
 

In Communist USSR, space race wins you.

 
 

Velociraptor cloaca

Why did I read that as “velociraptor Obvious”? Did I receive a recent blow to the head? Is N__B behind me?

And doesn’t Velociraptor Obvious make a fine candidate for a band name, or VS baby name?

 
 

It sounds like one of Sub’s names.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Bachman Murkan History 101 is down the hall.

Ah, I’m sorry. I thought this was a survey course about ignernt politicians.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

O/T:
O dearie Flo
I love you so
Especially in your nightie
When the moonlight flits
Across your tits
O Jesus Christ almighty.

–Dudley Moore

 
 

B is for BOOBIES and that’s good enough for me,
B is for BOOBIES and that’s good enough for me,
B is for BOOBIES and that’s good enough for me,
Oh! BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES start with B.

– BOOBIES Monster

 
 

What is with the fucking CAPTCHA anymore(like at the bottom of the color survey? Isn’t the idea just to prove that you are human, and not a machine? Why are they becoming more like hieroglyphics?

 
 

* You must believe that America is the greatest, kindest, most free, just and generous nation ever to exist in the tide of time, because, well, because it is.

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

 
 

Gas or electric?

 
 

Those things are so annoying. Fucking spammers ruin EVERYTHING

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

*VPR

 
 

Omfg, that is hilarious. Poor Elmo.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The tags in this dress are really, really itchy. (Yeah, I got nothin’.)

 
 

*VPR

AWESOME!

 
 

Found: that place with the stuff .

 
 

That place looks reputable.

 
 

I love red lipstick, but I am lazy/clumsy/spazzy. And I like to eat fuds.

Yes, this thread has been jacked by girly-talk. Deal with it.

In light of the earlier observation that the gods are made-up, I am replacing the names of VS and T&U with Thor and Heimdall respectively while reading this phase of the thread.

 
 

Here’s a fun game. A couple threads down, I left the last post–in response to Smut Clyde. My post to kill the thread dead? “That fat, hobbit-hugging bastard!” Pressies for anyone who can tell the most compelling, creative story as to how we got to “That fat, hobbit-hugging bastard!”

 
 

Thor Heyerdahl? I say Ra to you.

Are you reading this by Kon Tiki light?

 
 

Kon Tiki light

LESS FILLING!

 
 

Oh, and FTR, I think I’d made a damn good Thor. Or a sassy Black neighbor. Take your pick.

 
 

Pressies for anyone who can tell the most compelling, creative story as to how we got to “That fat, hobbit-hugging bastard!”

Jonah Goldberg didn’t leave a tip for D-KW’s mother. Her response: TFH-HB!

 
 

Jonah Goldberg didn’t leave a tip for D-KW’s mother. Her response: TFH-HB!

I laughed out loud. I knew where it was going right away and I still loled.

 
 

Legolas: Where’s Gimli?

Aragorn: He went off with a bunch of people from Greenpeace, they are headed to the Shire to protest the clubbing of Hobbits for the harvest of their foot fur.

Legolas: But he still owes me money! That fat, hobbit-hugging bastard!

 
 

Or a sassy Black neighbor.

You lack…melanin. And perhaps badonkadonk. Although the jury’s still out on that. Need more data.

 
 

Fucking spammers ruin EVERYTHING

When life hands you Spam, make Spamade™ .

Also.

 
 

You lack…melanin.

Like Stephen Colbert, I am color-blind.

 
 

I was very disappointed at the lack of plastic-brick castles in the LOTR trilogy, given that one of the characters was named Legoland.

 
 

N_B–rofl

jim, I will totally do that once I figure out–FINALLY!–how to make my penis larger.
(No, seriously, that is a really cool.)

 
 

Head of Disney Channel programming: Sorry Mickey, Special Agent Oso is kicking your ass in the ratings. We’re moving him to 8:00 a.m. and you’re getting pushed back to 8:30.

Mickey Mouse: That fat, hobbit-hugging bastard!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

a fictional, hopelessly utopian one world government

So, is he admitting that this whole one world government thing is wingnut B.S.?

 
A well regulated militia of heavily armed lunatics
 

D-KW, you will be pleased to learn that the ladies of Malaga, Spain, which is where I am right now, also have lovely boobies, although for some reason they are known here as “tetas”.

Who knew?

And the good news is, my wife says that while I’m here if I want to have an affair with Penelope Cruz, she totally won’t hold it against me.

Life is good!

 
 

May I just say I’m enjoying the Hobbit stories IMMENSELY?

 
 

Spam upside-down pie. Designed for the Antipodes.

 
 

Life is good!

Pics or it didn’t happen.

 
 

Spam upside-down pie.

Looks like that guy likes to keep things Spic and Spam. *rimshot*

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Designed for the Antipodes.

You can really taste the kakapo.

 
 

There is a cartoon for “get rid of premature ejactulation and last longer” on Jim’s second link. Oddly it turns out to of more use to vs than to me.

 
 

The tags in this dress are really, really itchy.

SSSSHHHHHHH!!! Tintin will ban you for bad tags.

 
 

There once was a man who got plastered
Whilst surrounded by a surprisingly vast herd
Of midgets complete
With wee furry feet
And now he’s called “that fat hobbit-hugging bastard.”

 
 

I imagine it would be difficult to type with a breeder inside me.

Hmmm. I may be reading too much into this, but are you outing little Dudeskull even before he’s born? Don’t you think he’ll want a say in the matter?

 
 

N_B–rofl

don’t encourage him. He must not be sleeping well, but that’s no excuse for weak jokes like that one.

 
 

And DKW raises the stakes!

 
 

zrm, it made me giggle…but for me at least this has been one of the funniest S,N threads of recent times. Pretty much everyone has been bringing the lulz.

 
 

Pretty much everyone has been bringing the lulz.

SOCIALULZM

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

SOCIALULZM

Snarxism!

 
 

Stinkin’ red Comedy-nists

 
 

Bolsheckys

 
 

but that’s no excuse for weak jokes like that one

I’m saving my strength for playing Left 4 Dead 2. Many zombies to kill.

 
 

Argh, two n’s. At least, it wasn’t a tag fail disaster again.

 
 

Many zombies to kill.

Eliminationist rhetoric! Both sides do it! Bad lefty! Bad!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Bolsheckys

Borscht-Belt Bolshevism?

 
 

Well, since it appears the Hobbiting is over, I’d like to award the pressie. And it goes to Thead Bear! Well-played, sir! Creative and funny. Actually, every last offering actually made me LOL, but, much like the Highlander, there could be only one. And DK-W, the pressies I give you can’t be given thru the Intratubes.

Thread Bear, YOU’RE THE BEST–AROUND!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Eliminationist rhetoric! Both sides do it! Bad lefty! Bad!

Can moaning “BRAIIIINS” be considered rhetoric?

 
 

And DK-W, the pressies I give you can’t be given thru the Intratubes.

No reward is necessary, I toil at producing laboured and tortured verse because your wish is,,,

Although you can send image files through teh Intarweebles.

 
 

Thread Bear, YOU’RE THE BEST–AROUND!

The said I was a Fish Head, but look at me now!
I’m a smooth operator.
I’m a mood elevator!

 
 


Although you can send image files through teh Intarweebles”

Hey, I don’t put all those pics up at my blog for my health…

 
 

THEY said.

 
 

Can moaning “BRAIIIINS” be considered rhetoric?

“Rhetoric?” Maybe not. But violent.

 
 

The tfhhb contest is over?

Guess I won’t bother posting the elegant-yet-hilarious haiku I composed for it.

 
 

Eliminationist rhetoric:

Today is a good day to POOP.
I regret that I have but one shit to give for my country.
Dulce et decorum est pro patria merda.

 
 

No, please do!

 
 

Dulce et decorum est pro patria merda.

Somewhere, a retired but formerly hardworking, ruler-wielding nun is wondering where she went wrong in her teaching career.

 
 

Many zombies to kill.

Yes, I’ve got many zombies to kill
And I merely survive because of my will…

 
 

Eliminationist rhetoric:

Give me liberty or give me POOP.
We must all POOP together or we will all POOP separately.
Don’t POOP until you see the whites of their tighties.
Don’t give up the POOP.

 
 

Embrace the halfling
Despite unmarried parents
And obesity

 
 

Somewhere, a retired but formerly hardworking, ruler-wielding nun is wondering where she went wrong in her teaching career.

The answer is probably “falling for young Dragon-Prince Wangchuck’s questionable charms.”

 
 

Somewhere, a retired but formerly hardworking, ruler-wielding nun is wondering where she went wrong in her teaching career.

That nun made it all the way to Mother Superior. Reverse cowgirl if you want more specifics.

 
 

I rest my case.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Many zombies to kill.

Worst Robert Frost poem EVER!!

 
 

Dulce et decorum est pro patria merda.

That sound you just heard was Wilfred Owen spinning in his grave so fast he hit the rev limiter.

 
 

I have no comment on why she retired.

 
 

“Rhetoric?” Maybe not. But violent.

dude, that’s a pretty low threshold for violence.

 
 

Worst Robert Frost poem EVER!!

I agree.

 
 

“Johnny Pez said,
January 27, 2011 at 22:08

Embrace the halfling
Despite unmarried parents
And obesity”

You honor the hairy-footed ones with your poetry. Alcoholic beverage?

 
 

Embrace the halfling

Is that what Ted Haggard says the kids are saying these days?

 
 

Alcoholic beverage?

too late.

 
 

I don’t even know what to say to this.

I would suggest drinking heavily. That is some fucked up shit.

 
 

Alcoholic beverage?

I have to practice for the upcoming Major Sporting Event, in which my local franchise is participating.

 
 

zrm—best get to work!

T&U–UGH!!!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I don’t even know what to say to this.

Ohio’s a swing state, any excuse to get an African-American woman off the voter roles will do for these thugs.

Hey ho, way to go Ohio!

 
 

I don’t even know what to say to this.

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sneak their kids into neighbouring school districts.

The wingnut slogan used to be “we should focus on equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome”. This case sort of puts paid to that particular fig leaf.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I would suggest drinking heavily. That is some fucked up shit.

I’m planning on it.

It’s quite clear from the comments that it was racially and politically motivated.

BTW, if you didn’t read the linked article, she was going to school at night to be a teacher. She can’t be licensed now because she’s been convicted of a felony.

 
 

I like to get zrm drunk so he’ll show me his architecture.

 
 

zrm—best get to work!

Hah. you presuppose that I have work to do.

Oh. Wait. You mean get to work practicing.

Sorry. I’ve been drinking.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ohhh, and people brought back some vile, oozing, racist-ass mangoes in the comments.

Sick.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I have to practice for the upcoming Major Sporting Event, in which my local franchise is participating.

I suggest a series of “curls”, starting with sixteen ounces, but using diminishing weight with every repetition.

 
 

I suggest a series of “curls”, starting with sixteen ounces, but using diminishing weight with every repetition.

good advice, that.

Also effective with that fucked up shit T&U posted.

 
 

“Ohhh, and people brought back some vile, oozing, racist-ass mangoes in the comments.”

*sigh*. This is going to be SUCKY sober reading.

 
 

I like to get zrm drunk so he’ll show me his architecture.

I’m not that easy.

O wait, I am that easy. I mean I’m not cheap.

O hell, who am I kidding? I’m cheap too.

 
 

Alcoholic beverage?

Pan-galactic gargle blaster, shaken not stirred.

And for after, I think the Betty Ford Clinic.

 
 

and since I’ve been drinking, here’s one for vs:

http://www.historicthirdward.org/

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oooh, I have hot toddy ingredients!

 
 

What body of water is that on? It’s LOVELY, charming.

T&U—mmmmmm, hot toddy

 
 

Oooh, I have hot toddy ingredients!

At your desk? I AM impressed.

 
 

The Betty Ford Clinic sounds like a righteous cocktail. Does it have undissolved pills and/or spansules in it?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Oooh, I have hot toddy ingredients!

A friend recently wrote me “There’s a cold brew–or a hot toddy–with your name on it”. His CD release party is tonight.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

At your desk? I AM impressed.

I wish. I can’t lie–I’ve thought about sneaking some whiskey in a time or two.

 
 

What body of water is that on? It’s LOVELY, charming.

you mean the header pic? That’s the Milwaukee River.

[attention whore] the header and sidebar pictures? I haven’t looked at all the pages, but on the home page and several others, they feature my design work in one portion or another. [/attention whore]

 
 

You mean the graphic design?

 
 

I’ve thought about sneaking some whiskey in a time or two.

I think that’s one of the main reasons Mad Men is so popular. EVERYBODY wants an office with a well stocked bar.

Hey, now that I think about it, that was when America was at her economic best.

 
 

Oh and congrats to your friend, B^4!

 
 

You mean the graphic design?

no, in the pictures. the BUILT STUFF.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

That’s the Milwaukee River.

Is it a river of beer?

AFAF

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

[attention whore]

Whatever. I’d be all like, “LOOK BITCHES, THAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDING!”

 
 

Oh and congrats to your friend, B^4!

I am jealous of BBBB’s vast array of musical opportunities. As well as his ability to TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL OF THEM.

Speaking of which, Big, didja see Robyn Hitchcock is doing a tour with Joe Boyd, a spoken word/ singing thing? Not coming to Beertown, of course….

 
 

Wow. It’s incredibly pretty and it doesn’t fight with the vista.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

<i.A friend recently wrote me “There’s a cold brew–or a hot toddy–with your name on it”. His CD release party is tonight.

I don’t have sound, but considering that one of the related videos is my boyfriend Jose Gonzalez, he’s probably good. 🙂

 
 

“LOOK BITCHES, THAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDING!”

perhaps I do not do enough of that.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

think that’s one of the main reasons Mad Men is so popular. EVERYBODY wants an office with a well stoacked bar redhead.

FIXXORED for great justice boob fetishists.

 
 

I am all for more cocktails and a growing middle class.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

TAGFAIL.

Approximately 100 minutes until hot toddy time!

 
 

Is it a river of beer?

Milwaukee houses have three taps in the kitchens: hot, cold, and beer.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

perhaps I do not do enough of that.

Seriously, I would be the most obnoxious architect ever. Besides Howard Roark. And maybe Frank Lloyd Wright.

 
 

I used to be so into robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians…

 
 

“LOOK BITCHES, THAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDING!”

People who are interested may visit my blog to see more, interspersed with music and other detritus.

There is also more than enough biographical info for people to track me down. So far, it’s been mainly BBBB and N__B, and I’m not sure what THAT says.

 
 

I used to be so into robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians…

seen them two or three times. YES THEY ARE AWESOME.

And Robyn solo several times.

 
 

Besides Howard Roark. And maybe Frank Lloyd Wright.

I think Frank Gehry is getting up there also.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Speaking of which, Big, didja see Robyn Hitchcock is doing a tour with Joe Boyd, a spoken word/ singing thing? Not coming to Beertown, of course….

Thanks for the info, Uncle Robyn is one of my absolute faves.

I don’t have sound, but considering that one of the related videos is my boyfriend Jose Gonzalez, he’s probably good. 🙂

He’s a really good guy, and his version of Txoria Txori is real good… I have to ask him if he picked up the Euskal phonetically.

 
 

Hey, I have totally made myself a nuisance on your blog. But I do need to seriously study your portfolio…

 
 

“seen them two or three times. YES THEY ARE AWESOME.

And Robyn solo several times.”

You’re one of those guys who has an insatiable passion for music. I like that.

 
 

Hey, I have totally made myself a nuisance on your blog

Hah. I, myself, am a nuisance on that blog.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think Frank Gehry is getting up there also.

Totes. I thought about including him, too.

People who are interested may visit my blog to see more, interspersed with music and other detritus.

It’s in my Google Reader account. I think I have most of the blogs of commenters here in my RSS aggregator.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I’ve also seen Robyn numerous times- guy always puts on an amazing show.

 
 

“LOOK BITCHES, THAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDING!”

Some very nice buildings there. You should be proud, seriously.

I suppose it would be inappropriate at this point to whine about places where people used to actually, y’know, work being turned into yuppie condos. So I won’t do that.

 
 

David Vitter is proposing a Constitutional amendment blocking citizenship for the children of undocumented immigrants and–as he wrote it in 2009–it appears that it would not have allowed Michelle Malkin her citizenship:

‘Article–

‘A person born in the United States shall not be a citizen of the United States unless–

[…]
‘(2) one parent of the person is an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States who resides in the United States;

FYI: Both of Malkin’s parents entered the US on temporary employer-sponsored visas.

Link

 
 

You’re one of those guys who has an insatiable passion for music.

Today, I downloaded Mighty Mighty Bosstones latest, A VA band, The Riot Before, the latest Killing Joke, and One Step Beyond.

I have a problem.

I also have front row tickets for Robert Plant and Band of Joy.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Some very nice buildings there. You should be proud, seriously.

{mafioso}Be a shame if anything happened to ’em.{/mafioso}

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I have a problem.

Not enough gigabytes?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I suppose it would be inappropriate at this point to whine about places where people used to actually, y’know, work being turned into yuppie condos. So I won’t do that.

At least they’re attractive yuppie condos.

 
 

I suppose it would be inappropriate at this point to whine about places where people used to actually, y’know, work being turned into yuppie condos. So I won’t do that.

naw, it’s appropriate, and I pretty much am on your side on that discussion; but most of that is out of my control or influence. But unfortunately, that ship has sailed, and it sometimes boils down to adaptive reuse or the wrecking ball. And I have been involved in structures that have come down on both sides of that equation; it may be personal/professional bias, but I almost always come down on the side of reuse. I have, in at least two instances, worked on structures that were one step ahead of tear-down.

In fact, my most recent post has to do with that exact issue, regarding a tannery. Tanning used to be a big industry in Milwaukee; it faded long before NAFTA and offshoring. So what to do with those buildings? At one point, my office was in a former tannery; the one in my blog post was up the street, and did not fare so well.

 
 

re: Mighty Mighty Bosstones…I’m obsessed with the first 10 seconds of “Spiderwebs” by No Doubt cuz it has that super-duper concentrated ska sound with the nifty horns.

I have a problem.

Nah, it’s hot.

 
 

At least they’re attractive yuppie condos.

Also, several of the reuse projects I have worked on have been tax credit projects aimed at moderate income residents. So not always so much yuppies, sometimes single moms and blue collar families.

 
 

At one point, my office was in a former tannery

John Boehner’s still is.

 
 

John Boehner’s still is.

*chuckles* You’re on FI-YA today!

 
 

“Spiderwebs” by No Doubt cuz it has that super-duper concentrated ska sound with the nifty horns.

too bad about their later work.

 
 

>>the President of the United States is nothing more than
>>a man, and someday I have no doubt, a woman.
>
>Obama’s having a sex change operation?

How do we know he ISN’T? SHOW ME THE BIRTH CERTIFI—[chokes on own spittle-flecked spittle]

 
 

Shorter & Corrected Ben Shapiro:

Hollywood Ben Shapiro Has a Woman Problem

The Oscars this year will suck because Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams are sluts and Ellen Page was such a tomboy dyke in Juno. I’ve never even heard of some of these other movies. Whatever happened to hot women like Meryl Streep?

 
 

“Milwaukee houses have three taps in the kitchens: hot, cold, and beer.”

There was one house in the town where I “grew up” that had a tap in the kitchen. The other end of the line was in the brewery across the street. No kidding.

http://www.straubbeer.com/

One of the Straub kids was in my high school class. The graduation party did not run out of beer.

 
 

In fact, my most recent post has to do with that exact issue, regarding a tannery. Tanning used to be a big industry in Milwaukee; it faded long before NAFTA and offshoring. So what to do with those buildings? At one point, my office was in a former tannery; the one in my blog post was up the street, and did not fare so well.

Yeah, I get that too and I’m all for re-use of old buildings. I dunno, I realize this is a windmill that can’t be brought down. Can’t help wishing we could figure out a way to help average people make a living wage and keep the downtowns livable for regular people. Speaking of which:

several of the reuse projects I have worked on have been tax credit projects aimed at moderate income residents. So not always so much yuppies, sometimes single moms and blue collar families.

That’s pretty cool. Must be satisfying to see people living in a building you had a hand in renovating. I had a similar feeling back in the Jurassic when I spent a couple of summers doing framing carpentry.

 
 

chameleonic
is that even a word?

 
 

That’s pretty cool. Must be satisfying to see people living in a building you had a hand in renovating.

At one of the recent dedications on a further phase of a local, urban, series of projects in one of the predominantly African-American areas of town, one of the speakers was a woman who had moved into the prior phase (along with her kids).

She spoke about the immense difference it made in her life to have a modern, safe and comfortable living space, in which her kids were safe and she could use as a home base in making a living and a life….

I still fucking tear up thinking about it.

Of course, by Republican-Galtian standards, I failed on that project because I did not earn 400 dollars an hour while doing it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

is that even a word?

Sounds like a combination of “Napoleonic” and “colonic.”

 
 

>>chameleonic
>is that even a word?

Yes, but it’s frequently mistaken for any of a bunch of other words.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

She spoke about the immense difference it made in her life to have a modern, safe and comfortable living space, in which her kids were safe and she could use as a home base in making a living and a life….

That’s awesome.

 
 

“She spoke about the immense difference it made in her life to have a modern, safe and comfortable living space, in which her kids were safe and she could use as a home base in making a living and a life….

I still fucking tear up thinking about it.”

That’s really touching.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Then, did you shout, “THOSE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDINGS, BITCHES!”?

 
 

gocart mozart said No! No! No! Karl Marx was all about the butt sex, forcing people to say “Happy Hollidays”, electric cars and internet porn. Especially internet porn. You are reading him to narrowly.

Sorry, you’re right. I should’ve remembered that Marx mainly spent his time talking about tinkering with the bourgeois state to make armchair colonels apopleptic at the dinner table. How’d that maxim go? “There is a spectre haunting Europe. It is the spectre of reformism.” Apologies to Gray Ghost there.*

*I absolutely love it when right-wingers try using Marx. They’ve almost never actually read any, and can usually be relied on not to have understood it. Just ask Nikolai Lenin…

 
 

How’d that maxim go?
BANG BANG BANG BANG

 
 

I still fucking tear up thinking about it.”

what you should tear up about is that you didn’t create a huge, overly-themed monstrosity of a house with 12 bathrooms, a pool and something special for mom that they won’t be able to maintain or pay the taxes on…instead you chose to be decent…wow

 
 

Then, did you shout, “THOSE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING BUILDINGS, BITCHES!”?

No, but I will next time. If there ever is another next time ,that is.

Also, I may have to find an alternative to ‘bitches’.

 
 

a huge, overly-themed monstrosity of a house with 12 bathrooms,

At the preggo vacuum-hater’s place, someone linked to a thyroidal monstrosity that included a dedicated pet shower room.

At Villa Zombie, it’s called the backyard and a hose.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, I may have to find an alternative to ‘bitches’.

“Breathers”?

 
 

Although don’t get me wrong; any Sadlynaught who is planning on a thyroidal monstrosity of a house with twelve bathrooms, please do not hesitate to give me a call. I have kneepads.

 
 

ot–mn radio talk show host was just gushing over pawlenty…and said he’s got mittens lookingnover his shoulder and he’s impressing all the right people….then he said there is nothing bad that could be said about ol’ t-paw…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Although don’t get me wrong; any Sadlynaught who is planning on a thyroidal monstrosity of a house with twelve bathrooms, please do not hesitate to give me a call. I have kneepads.

You’ll clean their floors, too? Wow.

 
 

How does one live without 12 bathrooms and a dog shower?!

 
 

How does one live without 12 bathrooms and a dog shower?!
very badly…

 
 

I still want one of those houses in England made from those old…fortresses?

 
 

a thyroidal monstrosity

Shame on you all, mocking Goitre-Americans.

 
 

I still fucking tear up thinking about it.

Middle-class people rarely need a structural engineer for their housing situation. So my housing work is for Wall Street millionaires (with the occasional billionaire thrown in) and for low-cost housing non-profits. I use the fees from the first to subsidize the fees for the second. [whisper] Don’t tell anybody. [/whisper]

 
 

I still want one of those houses in England made from those old…fortresses?

People living in converted Martello towers run an elevated risk of turning into characters in James Joyce novels.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

There you liberals go again, putting your money where your mouth is.

 
 

>>How’d that maxim go?
>BANG BANG BANG BANG

Sounds more like an AR-15 to me, jamming after only four rounds….

 
 

Better than turning into someone Henry James described.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

January 27, 2011 at 23:44 (kill)

Then, did you shout,

Is your Monitor Insurance in effect? I need to file a claim, Madam.
Because I have been drinking also.

 
 

“People living in converted Martello towers run an elevated risk of turning into characters in James Joyce novels”

Hmm. I was kinda hoping for “Wuthering Heights”

 
 

Shame on you all, mocking Goitre-Americans.
i am thyroidallly challenged, hence I can mock myself…

 
 

Middle-class people rarely need a structural engineer for their housing situation.

nor for architects, at least at the single-family level. Builders give them some prefab options in some greenfield curved street suburb subsidized by infrastructure paid for by urban areas, and that’s all anybody knows or desires.

To be fair though, architects ceded that market long ago as beneath them….

 
 

There you liberals go again, putting your money where your mouth is.

Except for DKW, who is putting your mommy where his mouth is.

 
 

How’d that maxim go?
BANG BANG BANG BANG

I just read it for the articles.

 
 

There you liberals go again, putting your money where your mouth is.

Part of the hatred conservatives have for us is our constant use of our actions to demonstrate Jesus’ words….

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is your Monitor Insurance in effect? I need to file a claim, Madam.

Shit! I let it lapse. I have been feeling thoroughly unfunny lately.

Builders give them some prefab options in some greenfield curved street suburb subsidized by infrastructure paid for by urban areas, and that’s all anybody knows or desires.

You know what the worst thing about those houses is? Other than that they’re ugly? Their shitty, shitty, shitty quality. I don’t understand the point of owning a brand new house if it’s just going to fall apart in five years.

 
 

“There you liberals go again, putting your money where your mouth is.

Part of the hatred conservatives have for us is our constant use of our actions to demonstrate Jesus’ words….”

That sounds about right.

 
 

“Middle-class people rarely need a structural engineer for their housing situation.”

I was very proud of the flitch plate I (over)engineered for my 1860 farmhouse reno when I wanted to remove a wall or two. There was a 30 foot microlam beam going unused at the granary restoration just down the street so I donated some time to the restoration and took the beam home. Cut it in two (well, to length which wasn’t halves exactly) then went down to the general store (WHAT a general store!) and snagged an 18 foot steel beam. I managed to borrow an electromagnet base drill press and thru intensive Internet search found the record bolt pattern and spacing.

I don’t recall the details any more but it was WAY stiffer than my calculations called for. I’ve got some pictures at home if anyone is interested.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I have another horrible, rancid mango, but I’ll keep it to myself.

 
 

“You know what the worst thing about those houses is? Other than that they’re ugly? Their shitty, shitty, shitty quality. I don’t understand the point of owning a brand new house if it’s just going to fall apart in five years.”

I can vouch for this. zombie knows…

 
 

30-some foot micro lam…

FYiPad.

 
 

There you liberals go again, putting your money where your mouth is.

Again with the “ramming down throats”

 
 

I don’t recall the details any more but it was WAY stiffer than my calculations called for. I’ve got some pictures at home if anyone is interested.

I! W? N….

ooo talk structure to me, you dirty home-engineer.

 
 

I kinda want the mango. Is that weird?

 
 

Reco’d bolt pattern…

FYiPad

 
 

I have another horrible, rancid mango, but I’ll keep it to myself.

feed it to your dog. That is, if you hate your dog.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You may have heard about it already.

But the additional details are horrifying.

 
 

Reco’d bolt pattern…

don’t worry. To everybody but me and Ned, it SOUNDS like engineer-speak.

 
 

But the additional details are horrifying.

yeah, I saw one at C&L that had a picture of the girl that brought me to tears.

Fuck, with all the crying I’m doing in this thread, I might as well be John Boehner.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

feed it to your dog. That is, if you hate your dog.

I don’t have a dog.

Actually, it’s kinda one of those things I think people should know about, although they’re probably happier if they don’t.

 
 

Can’t get audio where I am, thankfully, I think. This, however, deserves to be shared on the merits of this fine comment alone.

 
 

Guns & Insanity = dead 9 year old girls. Welcome to America circa 2011. I’m so proud of my country!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

yeah, I saw one at C&L that had a picture of the girl that brought me to tears.

I can’t even imagine how horrible it was/is for her mother.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Guns & Insanity = dead 9 year old girls. Welcome to America circa 2011. I’m so proud of my country!

This is a sick country.

 
 

I don’t get why wingnuts don’t understand that you can love this country like an adult loves, not like a child loves. Is this on-topic?

 
 

I can’t even imagine how horrible it was/is for her mother.

the part where she describes being shot and wounded, laying there listening the fucknozzles RELOADING while her daughter pleads “please don’t kill me”…

fuck, I am opposed to the death penalty but holy hell these people need to be ERASED.

 
 

I think there is something in the aquifers in America.

 
 

I don’t get why wingnuts don’t understand that you can love this country like an adult loves, not like a child loves. Is this on-topic?

because they are morans. Lip Service is all they recognize.

Getting back to my comment above about actions.

 
 

the part where she describes being shot and wounded, laying there listening the fucknozzles RELOADING while her daughter pleads “please don’t kill me”…

Sometimes I hate my countrymen, if I am forced to admit that these cobnuggets are my countrymen.

 
 

The problem is that the 20% of this country that is batshit does SO MUCH damage, it’s like theyre the whole of the country.

 
 

“because they are morans. Lip Service is all they recognize.

Getting back to my comment above about actions.”

They love the troops by brandishing a bumper sticker. Yup.

 
 

This is a sick country.

No surprise when the choices in the voting booth are Leprosy or Plague.

 
 

Big Stupid Mango:

GRETA: Governor, last night there was a lot of discussion about the Sputnik Moment the President wants us to have. Do you agree with him? Is this our moment?

PALIN: That was another one of those WTF moments, when he has so often repeated, the Sputnik Moment, that he would aspire Americans to celebrate, he needs to remember that what happened back then with the former communist USSR and their victory and that race to space, yeah, they won, but they also incured so much debt at the time that it resulted in the inevitable collapse of the Soviet Union so I listen to that Sputnik Moment talk over and over again and I think, no we don’t need one of those.

 
 

gocart, you didn’t feel like putting up the next part, where she says rather than high tech and space race industrial-technical innovations, we need more potato-based donuts?

 
 

Not that there’s anything wrong with potato based donuts, mind you.

 
 

The velociraptor was not so obvious

 
 

The velociraptor was not so obvious

Clever girl.

 
 

Not that there’s anything wrong with potato based donuts, mind you.

no, but it really doesn’t provide a basis for a national economy.

 
 

Funny, I now have a craving for potato based donuts.

 
 

This is a sick country.

Don’t for one fucking minute think any of you Yankee Euro-trash are one bit better than, for example, Australians.

Merely because your savage, primitive, religion-addled, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, grifting ancestors got out of Europe just ahead of the angry mobs & their pitchforks instead of being remanded by The Crown doesn’t make you any less the descendants of wretched criminal refuse.

 
 

Malignant Bouffant Johnson is making sense!

 
 

Of course, we also have the Ramones. Had, I mean.

 
 

The velociraptor was not so obvious

Clever girl.

I see what you do there.

Spielberg’s legal team will be looking for royalties.

 
 

Merely because your savage, primitive, religion-addled, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, grifting ancestors got out of Europe

my ancestors were just drunks.

 
 

I think it is only right, proper and appropriate that zombizzles kill the threadizzle.

 
 

the Ramones

Queens’s best!

 
 

Shawna Forde is a piece of work.

 
 

Actually, it’s kinda one of those things I think people should know about, although they’re probably happier if they don’t.

yeah, talk to M. Bouffant about the value of happiness…

 
 

Queens’s best!

I thought they were from Younkers?

 
 

Misspelling designed to bring Big Balders out of the woodwork in 3…2…1….

 
 

Spielberg’s legal team will be looking for royalties.

And a fine legal team it is; from what I understand, he spared no expense.

 
 

I am as happy as a pig in shit, mainly because that’s not a simile. Oink.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Don’t for one fucking minute think any of you Yankee Euro-trash are one bit better than, for example, Australians.

Nosir, I would never think that!

Even my people? We’ve only been here about 150 years. (Except the Indians, of course, but at this point it’s been so many generations that I’m the ridiculous stereotype of a white person who has “Indian blood”).

 
 

I am as happy as a pig in shit, mainly because that’s not a simile.

huh. oddly enough, that was the same simile Wife Sublime said to me this morning.

Bouffant, if you are my wife, I believe we have a problem.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, wait. I have a ton of ministers on my dad’s side. I guess that counts.

 
 

Don’t for one fucking minute think any of you Yankee Euro-trash are one bit better than, for example, Australians.

can we still be better than those fucking Belgians?

 
 

Oh, wait. I have a ton of ministers on my dad’s side. I guess that counts.

for what?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

for what?

Being as bad as Australians.

 
 

At least for religion-addled.

 
 

I have a ton of ministers on my dad’s side.

2000 pounds…3 ministers?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

2000 pounds…3 ministers?

No, the pudge comes from my grandmother’s side.

 
 

zombie rotten mcdonald said,

“gocart, you didn’t feel like putting up the next part, where she says rather than high tech and space race industrial-technical innovations, we need more potato-based donuts?”

I thought you were joking zrm! Oh Lordy

http://www.richland.tri-cityshopping.com/spudnuts/

PALIN: So I listen to that Sputnik moment talk over and over again and I think, ‘No, you don’t need one of those. You know what we need is a Spudnut moment. And here’s where I’m going with this — and you’re a good one, because you’re one of those reporters who actually gets out there in the communities, find these hard-working people and find solutions to the problems that Americans face.

Well, the Spudnut shop, in Richland, Washington — it’s a bakery, it’s a little coffee shop that’s so successful — 60 some years, generation to generation, a family-owned business. It’s not looking for government to bail them out and to make their decisions for them. It’s just hard-working, patriotic Americans in this shop — we need more Spudnut moments in America!

And I wish that President Obama would understand — in that heartland of America, what it is that really results in the solutions that we need to get this economy back on the right track, it’s a shop like that!

 
 

I am waiting for pizza to come and I am so damn nauseous.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I thought you were joking zrm! Oh Lordy

OMFG. I just……have we reached Peak Absurdity yet? I don’t think I can keep climbing, you guys!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I am waiting for pizza to come and I am so damn nauseous.

That’s the fucking worst. Do you have some crackers to tide you over?

 
 

Speaking of spudnuts, has anyone ever put potato flakes down their shorts on a hot and sweaty summer night?

 
 

HAHAHAHA Richland Washington, that would be nothing but sagebrush and rattlesnakes if it weren’t for the Hanford Reservation, a … wait for it … government-built program.

Fuck, she’s stupid.

 
 

She’s freaking retarded. In other news–pizza’s here! Thank you, FSM.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Speaking of spudnuts, has anyone ever put potato flakes down their shorts on a hot and sweaty summer night?

Yes! They’re delicious with Gold Bond and ballsweat gravy.

 
 

I am waiting for pizza DKW to come and I am so damn nauseous.

That sounds about right. Lie back and think of England.

PS: how do you type?

PPS: are you one of those that one can tell when you’re coming because you put down the nail file?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

How did they come up with Spudnut, anyway? Did they just Google “spu” until something came up?

 
 

Pizza just needs some E.D. drugs from Pfizer.
~

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And is it just me, or does “spudnut” make anyone else think of some dude with potatoes for balls?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I didn’t even notice the spudnuts part because I was concentrating on “wtf” and “communist USSR.”

 
 

It’s just hard-working, patriotic Americans in this shop — we need more Spudnut moments in America!

How is the patriotism relevant to their being hard-working and not wanting a bailout? Jesus Christ, again with the stuffing as many adjectives as possible to stress that those are “good” or “bad” people. Yes, they’re patriots… I’m sure they’re very nice with children, too.

And I wish that President Obama would understand — in that heartland of America, what it is that really results in the solutions that we need to get this economy back on the right track, it’s a shop like that!

What we need to get this economy back on track is a shop just like that? Well don’t look now, but that, right there, was a shop “just like that.” Why isn’t the economy back on track?

 
 

How did they come up with Spudnut, anyway? Did they just Google “spu” until something came up?

Ex-Gov. Grift has relatives in Richland, one of the lovely Tri-Cities. This was probably a Spudnuts for life deal.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ex-Gov. Grift has relatives in Richland, one of the lovely Tri-Cities. This was probably a Spudnuts for life deal.

Ah. I was just about to come in here and speculate as to whether or not Spudnuts paid her off.

 
 

Did they just Google “spu” until something came up?

Well, the Spudnut shop, in Richland, Washington — it’s a bakery, it’s a little coffee shop that’s so successful — 60 some years, generation to generation,

My professional opinion is “no.”

Also too, have you ever _seen_ the tri-cities? Holy fuck what hellholes. Populated by mutants. In the middle of a fucking desert.

 
 

PS: how do you type?

PPS: are you one of those that one can tell when you’re coming because you put down the nail file?

When I’m on the iPad, poorly.

I’m not touching that question with a ten-foot-pole…pun totally intended!

 
 

“spudnuts” makes me think of the love that dare not speak its name. In other words, a potato-fucker.

 
 

Were I cruel & more cynical, I might speculate that a relative, who doubtless works the third-shift fryer at Spudnuts, is about to be laid off ’cause beezness stinks, & Sarah doesn’t need to hear him or whining about needing money, so she decided to use Fox for some free advertising.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also too, have you ever _seen_ the tri-cities? Holy fuck what hellholes. Populated by mutants. In the middle of a fucking desert.

No, but I’ve been to Oklahoma.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sarah doesn’t need to hear him or whining about needing money, so she decided to use Fox for some free advertising.

Dude, just even being able to come up with that is cynical enough.

And probably true.

 
 

“spudnuts” makes me think of the love that dare not speak its name. In other words, a potato-fucker.

That’s not how potatoes are used in sex. Not if N__B is to be believed.

FYWP with a flying spud to the nutz.

 
 

No, but I’ve been to Oklahoma.

Do you remember?

 
 

being able to come up with that is cynical enough

Aw, shucks … you’re too kind, really you are.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you remember?

Sometimes, in the space between awake and asleep…

 
 

ancestors got out of Europe just ahead of the angry mobs & their pitchforks instead of being remanded by The Crown doesn’t make you any less the descendants of wretched criminal refuse.

I suppose you think your better than us, being official criminals, while we were merely of the criminal class. Well don’t get too smug. I’ll have you know that my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother was a convicted murderess who was sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in His Majesty’s crown colony of Maryland, where she had a whole brood of bastards. And don’t even get me started on Georgia!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Aw, shucks … you’re too kind, really you are.

It makes me feel like an amateur.

 
 

The mutation theory is advanced:

The Tri-City Herald reports Palin arrived late Wednesday from Orlando, Fla. The former Republican vice-presidential candidate planned to have dinner at the Richland home of her aunt Katie Johnson, a sister of Palin’s mother.

Palin’s grandparents, Clem and Helen Sheeran, moved to Richland in 1943 so he could work at the Hanford nuclear reservation.

“It’s kind of surreal. But it’s really good to be back in the Tri-Cities to reconnect with the roots,” Palin told reporters after touching down in a private jet. “I like the wonderful chaos of the family (at Thanksgiving.)”

Palin on Thursday was planning to run a 5K race to benefit the Red Cross.

About 25 Palin relatives had registered for the annual Turkey Trot at Kennewick’s Columbia Park, said Heather Filbin of the Benton-Franklin Chapter of the American Red Cross.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

CLEM???!!!!!!!

 
 

Have some brain bleach


For T&U
who is so young.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

For T&U who is so young.

I stared at it with my mouth open like some sort of Baby Einstein shit.

(And I do know who Three Dog Night is).

 
 

Ok, all you smug drinkers. I’m about to go on a magic carpet ride of my own thanks to TYLENOL NIGHTTIME COLD medicine. Suck it!!

 
 

I’ll have you know that my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother was a convicted murderess who was sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in His Majesty’s crown colony of Maryland, where she had a whole brood of bastards. And don’t even get me started on Georgia!

As long as we’re comparing criminal records, I got a great-grandfather who was in the German Army and killed a fellow officer in a duel, then fled the country to avoid the consequences. But that’s on my French side, American. Not all of Europe’s dregs left the continent.

Also, thumbs up for the fine state of Maryland.

 
 

Thumbs up Mary land? Back to the sexual harrassment already, I see.

 
 

I thought you were joking zrm! Oh Lordy

Sir, I do NOT joke about potato-based junk foods.

 
 

Sir, I do NOT joke about potato-based junk foods.

related and totally encased

 
 

magic carpet ride of my own thanks to TYLENOL NIGHTTIME COLD medicine

it’s best if you inject it into your eyeball.

 
 

Too late. I used the suppository.

What do you mean it doesn’t come in suppository for–?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

related and totally encased

Oh, god. As soon as I saw “crab” and “Illinois” in the same sentence, the bile began to rise.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, FYI: artificial crab is *not* gluten-free. You hear that, you Midwestern pre-made sushi making motherfuckers??? WHY is that the only kind you fucking make?!

 
 

Whew. Thought I had broked the thread. And if anything should do it it’s a suppository joke…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I was trying to get a vomit joke in there, but everything came out a little too twee. The only reliable vomit joke I have is “If you’re gonna spew, spew in this”, which isn’t even a joke, but a movie quote.

 
 

Thought I had broked the thread. And if anything should do it it’s a suppository joke…

are you new here?

 
 

The only reliable vomit joke

T&U is in the other room, talking to Ralph on the Big White Phone.

 
 

Imma tellin ya, the only effective thread killa is a zombizzle.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

talking to Ralph on the Big White Phone

Hmph.

 
 

As soon as I saw “crab” and “Illinois” in the same sentence, the bile began to rise.

Hoo boy yeah, and I swear that shampoo doesn’t work the way it used to.

 
 

I just say that to taunt slayer chick, pizza and cold medicine or no.

 
 

I’ve also seen Robyn numerous times- guy always puts on an amazing show.

Pretty sure Robyn’s a chick, dude.

 
 

Hoo boy yeah, and I swear that shampoo doesn’t work the way it used to.

thank you for not posting a link.

 
 

Back my babies! Thread undead!

 
 

pizza grease must fuck up the iPad interface something fierce.

I know brain juice does.

 
 

Hey zombie, drink a little rum for me and Dudeskull

 
 

DS has to make do with wine, at least for now.

And some Thin White Rope on the iPod.

 
 

And some Thin White Rope

saw them, too.

 
 

Wine is fine.

I will have to look up Thin White Rope.

 
 

801!

Saw them too.

 
 

They’re delicious with Gold Bond and ballsweat gravy.

Yukon Gold Bond!

 
 

Which song should I sample?

 
 

Saw them too.

Smut is mocking. Smut needs to buy me drinks in compensation. Milwaukee Law Firm and Potato Doughnut Palace will be sending an invoice.

 
 

Which song should I sample?

Take It Home

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hoo boy yeah, and I swear that shampoo doesn’t work the way it used to.

They’ve developed an immunity!

Yukon Gold Bond!

That’s fantastic.

 
 

drink a little rum

upon reflection, I realize that I recognize all of these words, but this configuration seems alien…. a “little” rum?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Smut! Be nice!

 
 

Smut is being conceited about having seen Wire recently.

 
 

That was weird. I think it let me listen for more than 30 secs. Not bad!

 
 

That was weird. I think it let me listen for more than 30 secs. Not bad!

west coast post-punk neo-psychedelic. the whole song is like 8 minutes, and it really draws you in.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Smut is being conceited about having seen Wire recently.

Honestly, I did not know that they still played.

 
 

which is really odd because the ipod follows up with a new Decemberists song. My playlist is like the best radio station ever, being run by psychopaths with ADD.

 
 

Oh, we didn’t ask properly! Will you drink a lot of rum for us, zrm?

We don’t of course want to pressure you…or ruin your liver.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ooh! That reminds me that I’ve wanted to listen to that record all day!

 
 

Honestly, I did not know that they still played.

probably from Rascals.

 
 

Ooh! That reminds me that I’ve wanted to listen to that record all day!

it is REALLY growing on me. I wish the local appearance was not sold out….

 
 

I am in the bedroom with Rachel on in the background. If I were feelin better, I’d be blasting The Black Keys. I am so feeling them these days.

 
 

(And I do know who Three Dog Night is).

I’m about to go on a magic carpet ride of my own thanks to TYLENOL NIGHTTIME COLD medicine. Suck it!!*

Here I tie it all together neatly by noting that I saw/heard Three Dog Night & Steppenwolf on the same bill.

* Actual user, not compensated for her endorsement.

 
 

or ruin your liver.

o yeah, pretend you care about the organs of a zombie, and then you’ll run it through with a chainsaw.

 
 

Hey, I got no beef with your kinda zombie. You have taught me much tolerance.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

zrm, I’ve been trying to decide if I want to go ahead and buy tickets for one of the cities two hours away on a weekday or if I want to take the chance that they’ll swing by here on the second leg of their tour like they did on the Hazards of Love tour. (I touched Colin Meloy’s ass!).

 
 

Threads always tie together. Especially when they push 1000.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

o yeah, pretend you care about the organs of a zombie, and then you’ll run it through with a chainsaw.

Actually, chainsaws aren’t particularly effective on zom…….watermelons.

 
 

I am fading…

 
 

or if I want to take the chance that they’ll swing by here on the second leg of their tour like they did on the Hazards of Love tour. (I touched Colin Meloy’s ass!).

I have always been lucky on second legs of tours…. but I also think the only regret you’re gonna have is if you DON’T go. what’s the worst? If you go, and don’t like it, and then they come by so you can skip it?

Dunno about Colin Meloy’s Ass, myself. sounds like a lousy opening band.

 
 

I saw/heard Three Dog Night & Steppenwolf on the same bill.

were you on cold medicine?

 
 

I was a man who was very easily sunburnt.

 
 

In the 70’s they called it ‘Quillin.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

but I also think the only regret you’re gonna have is if you DON’T go. what’s the worst? If you go, and don’t like it, and then they come by so you can skip it?

Their tickets are, like, $50 and there’s gas money. And I don’t like driving two hours after a show, especially if I was by myself. It’s not enough to keep me from going, but it’d be nicer to see them here.

 
 

Face, meet palm. A Baptist seminary student on facebook just read Gilgamesh and claims he can’t see the connection to the Noah’s Ark story.

Umm. Big flood. Godly anger behind big flood. God tells dude to build boat to save himself and some other living beings. Dude survives big flood that way. Dude finds out when the coast is clear by sending out birds. Nope, no parallels there at all.

I realize seminary’s a giant exercise in memorizing the rationalizations of others and learning to make your own, but SERIOUSLY?

 
 

Their tickets are, like, $50 and there’s gas money. And I don’t like driving two hours after a show, especially if I was by myself. It’s not enough to keep me from going, but it’d be nicer to see them here.

O I reconnize what you’re saying. I’ve had to miss plenty of shows in the last little bit due to cash flow issues, even if they are local. And having someone to share driving and talking is essential.

But I consider Madison and Chicago, both roughly two hours away, to be firmly in the vicinity if something important and rare comes through. Marillion at Park West was a good one. We’ll have to see what the Mekons do this year….

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But I consider Madison and Chicago, both roughly two hours away, to be firmly in the vicinity if something important and rare comes through.

I guess I’m pretty certain they’ll come through here. They’ve been here twice, and they come to Lawrence all the time.

I was so pissed–I missed The Mountain Goats (here) and Paul F. Thompkins (St. Louis) when I broke my ankle. Oh! And Pavement!

 
 

I missed The Mountain Goats (here)

have you seen them before? A good friend and I have seen them at neat little historic theaters twice now. they are great.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

have you seen them before? A good friend and I have seen them at neat little historic theaters twice now. they are great.

Yes, I saw them in this tiny little club (where we saw Arcade Fire before they blew up–it was so weird), and it was awesome.

 
 

I guess I’m pretty certain they’ll come through here. They’ve been here twice, and they come to Lawrence all the time.

I usually feel the same way, but the Mekons have burned me a couple times, especially considering a couple of the band members live in Chicago.

So last time they came through, I made all my friends go, a couple of dozen Zombie friends, sitting right up front, and me making them all stand and cheer…

and afterwards, I got some really nice limited prints in the lobby, and signed by the entire band, and ifthethunderdontgetya will testify as to how nice they are.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Although these drunk girls got up on stage and started dancing with him. It was weird and a little embarrassing.

 
 

Yes, I saw them in this tiny little club (where we saw Arcade Fire before they blew up–it was so weird), and it was awesome.

I know the feeling….I saw REM in a little theater on the Life’s Rich Pageant tour, CVB opened up….

 
 

Although these drunk girls got up on stage and started dancing with him.

well, hell, I’ve done that.

 
 

were you on cold medicine?

In the 70?s they called it ‘Quillin.

The ’60s. We didn’t drink (& mocked those who did as “foamies”). There were no drugs then, just nature.

 
 

There were no drugs then, just nature.

and look where THAT got you.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I usually feel the same way, but the Mekons have burned me a couple times, especially considering a couple of the band members live in Chicago.

Yeah, I’ve had bands do that to me, too.

Okay, fine, I’ll look into it. Maybe I’ll even find someone to go with me!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I saw REM in a little theater on the Life’s Rich Pageant tour

*sob*

 
 

the Mekons have burned me a couple times, especially considering a couple of the band members live in Chicago.

Long drive for stimulants, esp. if you’re getting burned, dood.

 
 

Okay, fine, I’ll look into it. Maybe I’ll even find someone to go with me!

last weekend, we skipped Liz Phair to see local ska band Something 2 Do in a brew pub.

Sometimes, you gotta make the hard choices. It was the right choice.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

New Liz Phair sucks. She sounds like Hillary Duff.

 
 

I saw REM in a little theater on the Life’s Rich Pageant tour

*sob*

well, I’m an old guy. Also saw the Violent Femmes in any number of local venues right about the time they were going national. Also, Da Bodeans before they changed the name or added a bass player, or could draw more than 20 people.

 
 

Saw when they were nothing, y’hear, nothing:

Alice Cooper, Led Zeppelin on their first U.S. tour, Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen, Van Halen.

 
 

Long drive for stimulants, esp. if you’re getting burned, dood.

Bouffant, my wife, loves to rip me up.

 
 

Van Halen.

were they ever something?

 
 

Led Zeppelin on their first U.S. tour,

that, however, would have been awesome.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

They’re playing the same venue where I saw Morrissey. Twice.

Oh, and Mr. T&U saw The Decemberists on their second tour (I think? Maybe third?) but I didn’t go because I had to work in the morning. I suck.

 
 

Wow. ZARDOZ here we come.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What the fuck is this fucking Galtian shit? You can pay an extra $25 for early parking and entrance? That’s fucking bullshit. People should have to line up at 2:30 in the afternoon like civilized people.

 
 

Seriously though, Jay Carney? Of all the people to be presidential press secretary, Jay Carney?

Swampland, what hast thou wrought.

 
 

What the fuck is this fucking Galtian shit? You can pay an extra $25 for early parking and entrance? That’s fucking bullshit.

That’s right. Perks should be reserved for those willing to blow security dudes, like in the good old days.

Or so I hear.

 
 

Sometimes I think back to all the bands I’ve seen, especially when i am pinching pennies, and don’t even try to count up the money I’ve spent. It sometimes seems like such a waste of money.

And I start to kind of wonder what I have to show for it? Ephemeral experiences, gone the next day. Still have to go to work, pay rent, pay taxes, pay to live….

But then….one of those songs come on the iPod. You know the songs, although they are different for everybody; they are the songs that helped you grow up, or helped you get over difficult times, or just make you charge out into the day and take it on like you’re Chuck Norris. Or makes you want to find your person and do something nasty to them. Sometimes, it’s a different song every day. But it connects you, somehow, to something primal, something of energy.

And that’s why people write songs, and that’s why they perform them; connection to the forces that made squirming creatures rise up out of the muck, and struggle to breathe in a hostile environment.

And participating in that performance, we get to share in a bit of that, and feel the electricity of ALIVE, and PEOPLE, and being part of something.

 
 

At the robyn utube link, all the “other vids” were Iron and Wine.

Curiously, I received the following in my OPB e-newsletter this morning:

Iron & Wine’s Tiny Desk Concert

When it first made its name nine years ago, Iron and Wine was just another guise for Sam Beam. Beam’s spare solo work featured soft-voiced, solo acoustic arrangements balanced against his stark, fatalistic lyrics.

This recent short set from the Tiny Desk video series presents a fresh side of some of Beam’s recent songs as well as Iron and Wine’s signature set closer.

But that’s neither here nor there. Peel a largishj Yukon Gold spud and slice it very thinly using a mandoline. Lightly salt and pepper firm white fish and spread a leetle butter on it. Wrap it up in the potato slices then pan fry in some good quality clarified butter. Magic.

That’s not what I’m making tonight though. Tonight I’m inventing a chix tortilla soup as I go. Had some left over pot roast which I shredded, added a bit of the leftover gravy, finely diced onion, ancho chili powder, lots of ground cumin and… I dunno, I’ve already had two martinis. I’ll soften some corn totrtillas and wrap up little packages contianing the beef mixture then fry in oil until crispy. I’ll top them with some of the guacamole I just made and probably some sour cream too.

Hominy gratinee and a simple composed salad of shredded carrots, chopped lettuce and diced tomato drizzled with lemon and my tastiest extra virgin olive oyl. And sea salt.

Tecate was on sale so I’m drinking some of that cheap shit up tonight.

 
 

Seriously though, Jay Carney? Of all the people to be presidential press secretary, Jay Carney?

No Kidding. I hear Keith Olbermann needs a job.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s right. Perks should be reserved for those willing to blow security dudes, like in the good old days.

And then I’ll throw my panties at Colin Meloy.

 
 

And then I’ll throw my panties at Colin Meloy.

liberal women still wear panties?

 
 

but I didn’t go because I had to work in the morning. I suck.

I think we both see where the problem lies in this. Your priorities are all kattywampus.

In high school, I once told my art teacher that I was blowing off his class so I could go get tickets. He bought it.

 
 

Pan ties: neckwear with pictures of archaic kitchen implements.

 
 

Tecate was on sale so I’m drinking some of that cheap shit up tonight.

Cheers!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

liberal women still wear panties?

When they have the chance to throw them at bespectacled indie rock stars, yes. Or I could just keep them in my purse.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think we both see where the problem lies in this. Your priorities are all kattywampus.

I get cranky and weepy if I don’t sleep enough.

 
 

I get cranky and weepy if I don’t sleep enough.

yeah, but it’s work. You’d be cranky and weepy anyway.

 
 

Or, you could just call in dead. I do that all the time.

 
 

When they have the chance to throw them at bespectacled indie rock stars,

I wear glasses sometimes.

Sold my guitar to stay in college though. Boy does THAT seem like a stupid move these days.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

FRIST!!!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sold my guitar to stay in college though. Boy does THAT seem like a stupid move these days.

I’ve discovered a lot of people wind up regretting those Practicality Moves (I am right now), but you didn’t know what was going to happen, and it’s kind of easy to say that on the other side.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

FRIST!!!

That’s nice, honey. Go play with your brother–the grownups are talking.

 
 

the grownups are talking.

oh hell, do I have to go outside now?

 
 

is that a fake Spengler? Usually his nym links to his AWESOME BOOK.

 
 

it’s kind of easy to say that on the other side.

don’t try and make me feel better. I could have been a Rock Star!!!

 
 

or at least a bespectacled indie rock geek.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

or at least a bespectacled indie rock geek.

I heard those indie rock girls are loose.

 
 

Peel a largishj Yukon Gold spud and slice it very thinly using a mandoline.

Pupienus Maximus makes lutenists cry.

 
 

I heard those indie rock girls are loose.

well, they apparently don’t wear panties.

 
 

gocart ought to like this. More about spudnuts:

Palin’s quirky invocation of the “Spudnut Shop” here in Richland Washington as an example of American “can-doism” is far more ironic than you and most of your readers likely realize.

The fact is, the town of Richland was literally built by the federal government as a part of the Manhattan Project. All of the houses that surround the Spudnut shop were built by the Army. To this day, the only employer in Richland of any consequence is the Department of Energy and the contractors that work on DoE contracts at the Hanford site, just north of Richland. As a result, virtually all of the Spudnut shop’s customers are paid by tax dollars. Those that aren’t are retirees, drawing government pensions and social security.

Were it not for government spending, the Spudnut shop would be bankrupt in a week.

 
 

Maybe that was a fake Spengler. Maybe it was the REAL Spengler. All I know is I’m not giving up this banjolele. Also, too, there’s a ukulele on its way from Ebay heaven down to the rugged little corner of hell I call home. I SHALL PAINT IT IN A MERRY FASHION.

On topic, I know several genuine indie rockers of some repute, and not only do they not wear panties they like to sit on the arm of the sofa.

 
 

Speaking of spudnuts, tonight I invented FREEDOM PIZZA: it consists of battered French fries deep-fried into a pie shape, then coated in pizza sauce, cheese, and toppings, and broiled to finish. Comes in a ranch dressing variant, too.

Kneel, mortals.

 
 

Also, too, there’s a ukulele on its way from Ebay heaven down to the rugged little corner of hell I call home. I SHALL PAINT IT IN A MERRY FASHION.

I HAVE A MANDOLIN AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

 
 

they like to sit on the arm of the sofa.

well, hey, who doesn’t?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

On topic, I know several genuine indie rockers of some repute, and not only do they not wear panties they like to sit on the arm of the sofa.

So unhygienic. If they have pubes, they could get crabs!

 
 

A version of that life.

also, I just admitted to having a Mandolin, so unless one of you knows Jeff Tweedy I am out of luck.

 
 

Speaking of spudnuts, tonight I invented FREEDOM PIZZA: it consists of battered French fries deep-fried into a pie shape, then coated in pizza sauce, cheese, and toppings, and broiled to finish. Comes in a ranch dressing variant, too.

needs to be deep fried after. WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

also, I just admitted to having a Mandolin, so unless one of you knows Jeff Tweedy I am out of luck.

I knew a guy who knows Jeff Tweedy, but he fired me.

Mandolins are making a comeback. Just you watch.

 
 

I HAVE A MANDOLIN AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

that is so gonna be the motto of my blog. Tomorrow.

 
 

Mandolins are making a comeback. Just you watch.

well, unless one of us scores tix to the Decemberists, we won’t be watching SHIT.

 
 

So unhygienic. If they have pubes, they could get crabs!

I see what you did there.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

well, unless one of us scores tix to the Decemberists, we won’t be watching SHIT.

Calm down. They aren’t sold out here, and they probably won’t be.

 
 

Calm down. They aren’t sold out here, and they probably won’t be.

WELL THEY ARE SOLD OUT HERE,.

Plus, calming down is not really a zombie thing.

 
 

Send… more… paramedics.

 
 

holy shit. It’s GA in the Pabst Theater, and stubhub has them at $119 per.

Maybe my cab driver buddy has a couple…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You could come to Kansas City. It’s only a ten-hour drive.

 
 

Send… more… paramedics.

BEST PART OF THAT MOVIE.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

holy shit. It’s GA in the Pabst Theater, and stubhub has them at $119 per.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

They’re $40 here.

 
 

You could come to Kansas City. It’s only a ten-hour drive.

don’t threaten me. I went to Minneapolis to see Soul Asylum and the Figgs. That was a six hour drive.

 
 

You have GOT to be kidding me.

They’re $40 here.

face value is $30.

But, sold out, yanno.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yeah, that occurred to me as soon as I posted it.

Damn, who are these people who have $119 to see The Decemberists? Are they bigger than I think they are?

 
 

holy shit. It’s GA in the Pabst Theater, and stubhub has them at $119 per.

shit, I only paid 80 or 90 or something like tht for Springsteen.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s all you old fuckers who listen to NPR, isn’t it?

 
 

Damn, who are these people who have $119 to see The Decemberists? Are they bigger than I think they are?

I looked further; another site had tix at $300

for general admission.

Aw hell, at that, Imma drivin to to KC.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

How big is the Pabst Theater?

 
 

It’s all you old fuckers who listen to NPR, isn’t it?

except us zopmbizzles don’t listen to NPR.

Speaking as an old hipster, it’s the same old story; bands become popular, and then we must hates them.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t hate them. I like them a lot. I just hate it when a band gets big and you can’t see them in a small venue anymore without a bunch of dipshits there. It sucks.

 
 

How big is the Pabst Theater?

actually, it seems it is at the Riverside, which is 2400 people.

The Pabst is 1300 people.

 
 

ou can’t see them in a small venue anymore without a bunch of dipshits there. It sucks.

I saw the Mekons with about 50 people in a dive in Bayview. REALLL, Y’AlLL

Don’t get me started about seeing the Figgs or Tommy Stinson or Cloud Cult in the same old dive.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The Uptown is 1700.

That’s nuts.

 
 

Dr. Strangelove.

Turner Classic Movies.

Right now, EST.

 
 

…one last gasp…

 
 

Can we get this to 1,000 a-fore someone posts a new & cutting refutation of some offensive idiocy?

West Coast representin’ here!

 
 

Turn off the computer vs and go to sleep. Good night.

 
 

The fact is, the town of Richland was literally built by the federal government as a part of the Manhattan Project.

Goddamnit, that’s what I said. But did you listen? Noooo! You were all waiting for your pizza and eating your Yukon Goldnuts and all that shit. Fine.

It’s all you old fuckers who listen to NPR, isn’t it?

Young lady, that lawn is not for playing on. Now git!

 
 

Speaking of West Coasties, what ever happened to tsam? He was fun.

 
 

Definition needed:

Spudnut:_____________________

 
 

Spudnut: Someone who’s just crazy for potatoes?

 
 

Sorry, didn’t mean to spudnut the thread.

 
 

Good intentions are no excuse.

 
 

Spudnuts is a condition caused by being teabagged one too many times.

 
 

I went to a party once where a guy was wearing nothing but a hollowed out sweet-potato covering his tackle

 
 

Ordinary, we’ve-seen-a-million-of-’em PENIS.

 
 

Good intentions are no excuse.

That statement does nothing with truant officers.

 
 

I didn’t kill the thread. I’m just fucking beating kicking the corpse.

 
 

[Have] we reached Peak Absurdity yet?

Sadly, no. Unlike like petroleum, there are vast–indeed, virtually unlimited–untapped reserves of Absurdity beneath the fetid swamps of America’s political and social discourse. I expect more bubbling crude in the future: “Drill, baby, drill!”

VS: I caught another fleeting reference to your sinus headaches. Sounds like you need a Major Truckload of antibiotics. This has been going on far too long, or so it seems to me. I hope you shake this soon!

Does anyone know how Bitter Scribe is doing? I think about him every time I check in with S,N.

 
 

CLEM?

A shorter version Ah-Clem. He’s a Bozo.

 
 

I went to a party once where a guy was wearing nothing but a hollowed out sweet-potato covering his tackle

You know WHO ELSE was a dick-tater?

 
 

a foolish consistency”
(beats hobgoblin with 2×4)

 
 

938 comments WOOT WOOT!

WTF Sarah Palin? Is Todd patronizing the brothel like National Enquirer says?

 
 

If everyone is done fucking the corpse of this thread, I’d like to claim it in the name of Random Music Friday. During Random Music Friday, we all link to random songs we like. (And if we’re lucky, people actually click, listen and ponder.) Join me, won’t you?

 
 

Also, thumbs up for the fine state of Maryland.

Drop-dead coolest state flag in the nation.

“The Maryland flag contains the family crest of the Calvert and Crossland families. Maryland was founded as an English colony in 1634 by Cecil Calvert, the second Lord Baltimore [Great Britain]. The black and Gold designs belong to the Calvert family. The red and white design belongs to the Crossland family.”

Another Maryland flag story

During the Civil War, Maryland was as deeply divided as Missouri and Kansas.

In the earliest days of the war, there was bloodshed when Union troops in transit through Baltimore fired on a dangerous and aggressive mob. Thereafter, the city was under military occupation: Federal Hill, overlooking the Inner Harbor, got its name from Union artillery emplacements to intimidate the population. Fort McHenry was used to incarcerate politcal prisoners–the famous suspension of habeas corpus–including Jefferson Davis after the war.

Both sides had Maryland regiments. Like the population, the state flag was ripped apart: The Union regiments carried the black-and-gold quadrant as their state battle flag; the Confederates carried the red-and-white quadrant.

Off-topic, obscure history with only the loosest connection to the thread. My specialty! (Thanks for the hook, Chris.)

 
 

Is she your fave, DK-W? You seem to be a big fan. And thankee for sharing.

 
 

OKay now, 900+ comments, and then what? Between now and when I get to work three hours later, Sadly will have posted three new posts and I’ll still end up being the 200th commenter. It ain’t fair.

 
 

That’s what you get for having a life, g!!!

 
 

Is she your fave, DK-W?

You are my favourite. Or maybe your mom.

And yes, I am a huge tunstall fanboi.

 
 

This is 944. Also FYWP. <===on general principles

 
 

You are my favourite.

Woot!

Moar musical goodness

 
 

west coast post-punk neo-psychedelic

I preferred no-adjectives-necessary psychedlic.

(I’m so limited in how to engage with many S,N music conversations. Now you kids get off my lawn!)

 
 

I gotta say this thread has been a complete blast to read. One of the all-time best since I began visiting.

 
 

Off-topic, obscure history with only the loosest connection to the thread. My specialty! (Thanks for the hook, Chris.)

Thanks to you for the history lesson. I always wondered where the state flag came from, but wasn’t curious enough to actually look it up.

 
 

Song about LEAFS SUCK.

I’m picking stuff that’s already gotten a fair amount of exposure. Were you looking for hidden gems, or just random music that we like? Something more along these lines?

 
 

FYWP

Goes without saying!!

ba-doom

 
 

youtube is blocked here at work so I can’t make links to music clips, damn it

 
 

Anything that strikes your fancy, DKW. obscure or popular–it don’t matta.

 
 

The Variants, I agree. Helluva thread.

Kappa, just tell us a song you love.

 
 

obscure or popular–it don’t matta.

Oh good. In that case, since this is the Innertanewtabibble – Obligatory YouTube Link.

 
 

*sniffsniff*

*sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff*

Whoa. Someone open a window, please? It’s a little stale today.

 
 

OKay now, 900+ comments, and then what?

And I took a break yesterday. Imagine the count then…

 
 

Ok.

The Dears, ‘Lost in the plot’

Augie March ‘The hole in your roof’

 
 

I went to a party once where a guy was wearing nothing but a hollowed out sweet-potato covering his tackle

I once went wearing a frown and a flan from Brooklyn.

Cuz I was fuckin’ dis custid…

 
 

DK-Dubs, you are a bastard. A lovable bastard, but still…

 
 

Oh, great! Yet another thread about bands nobody gives a shit about except pretentious hipsters who think they know from stress and tragedy!

🙂

 
 

oh actor, don’t be a grumpypants. I think our collective taste is all OVA the place.

 
 

Geez actor, imagine how stale it’d smell if an old man like you actually stuck around.

 
 

My boiler’s fixed. I can shower again.

 
 

kappa kappa wong

I’m thinking of pledging Lap Dansa Thigh.

 
 

you would be surprised at the number of people in these threads who are nearly half people and half blog comment.

 
 

Led Zeppelin on their first U.S. tour

That’s quite a list MB! I also saw Zeppelin on the same tour.

Here’s my hit parade:

The Who’s first US tour. (After Happy Jack; Lawrence, Kansas) Pete Townsend still had adoloscent pimples.

Grateful Dead (After Skull & Roses; Iowa City) Pig-Pen McKernan was still alive.

Jefferson Airplane (After Volunteers; Chicago.)
Outdoors in Grant Park, in 1969, on the first anniversary of the battle of Michigan & Balbo during the ’68 Democratic Convention. (The Airplane closed with Volunteers; the crowd went totally insane.)

The warm-up band was a local group called the Chicago Transit Authority. A legal action by the city later forced them to drop the last two words of their name. I was tripping and near the bandshell. It was the goddam best concert I’ve ever seen.

Dylan & The Band (After John Wesley Harding; Kansas City) Dylan’s first national tour after his motorcyle accident.

Okay, I could sorta throw something into the music conversation. (Thanks for the hook, MB.)

 
 

Here’s my hit parade

And they call ME old…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yet another thread about bands nobody gives a shit about except pretentious hipsters who think they know from stress and tragedy!

HEY!

I don’t have sound, so I can’t listen to anyone else’s stuff, but that won’t keep me from posting.

This is a song I will listen to over and over again.

And I was going to post one of my favorite covers, which is The Constantines’ cover of Talking Heads’ “Thank You for Sending Me an Angel,” but I’ll link to this instead.

(That video could’ve been cool, but there’s something about it that bothers me).

 
 

“Here’s my hit parade

And they call ME old…”

Tell me about it. I thought I was the old fart here……

 
 

I bought a ticket to Slayer’s concert in Melbourne a few years ago, mainly because Mastodon were opening for them. I’m 5’10 and I was possible the shortest guy in the crowd. During the break between Mastodon and Slayer there were dudes dressed head to toe in stonewash denim, swapping cassettes.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

you would be surprised at the number of people in these threads who are nearly half people and half blog comment.

You forgot about the five pounds of bacteria.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Jefferson Airplane (After Volunteers; Chicago.)
Outdoors in Grant Park, in 1969

Dude! My mom was 10.

 
 

ZRM: Great comment at 4:43 !!! (Everyone should take the time to scroll up and re-read it.)

It’s universal. My parents with big bands. The younger people here talking about bands, albums, and songs that I don’t know a thing about–same thing exactly. Some songs dig in so deep, they are with you for the rest of your life.

Now you kids get off my prehistoric rock-strewn lawn!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If you don’t believe in it, why do you give a fuck?

I mean, I eat Kosher food even though I’m an atheist who was brought up protestant, and you don’t see me freaking out about food made under some rules that I don’t believe in.

 
 

This is 976, btw. And FYWP

 
 

Wick-It the Instigator released the best music of 2010 when he instigated Big Boi vs. The Black Keys. The Black Keys put up a respectable fight but Big Boi has too much bounce to the ounce for them, securing the title with an eighth round knockout.

 
 

Fuck that hipster shit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FzM_XrgtPo

 
 

999?

 
 

Black Keys? Ooooh! Must investigate!
Must-listen Black Keys song

 
 

Oops. I read 996. FMe

 
 

kattywampus

25 points for ZRM.

 
 

During the break between Mastodon and Slayer there were dudes dressed head to toe in stonewash denim, swapping cassettes.

Slayer?

I’m sorry, but if they weren’t on the plane with Buddy Holly, then they’re too young for my tastes.

 
 

Lawlanderguy–NOICE. Will be delving into that shit moar.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wick-It the Instigator released the best music of 2010 when he instigated Big Boi vs. The Black Keys.

I’ll have to check that out when I get home. I like (good) mashups. This is one of my favorites.

PM, Leonard Cohen is pretty much a genius.

 
 

I figure everyone is trying to be number 1000. And I am probably jumping the gun here with this post. To keep it marginally on topic: I really enjoy listening to the Old ’97s and I hope to see them when they come to Madison.

 
 

I mean, I eat Kosher food even though I’m an atheist who was brought up protestant, and you don’t see me freaking out about food made under some rules that I don’t believe in.

I’m not a big fan of Paula Deen either, but I refuse to eat her cooking.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

bought a ticket to Slayer’s concert in Melbourne a few years ago, mainly because Mastodon were opening for them.

That would pretty much be the only way you could get me to go to a Slayer show.

 
 

That would pretty much be the only way you could get me to go to a Slayer show.

Dr Lecter’s handtruck might get me to one.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Dr Lecter’s handtruck might get me to one.

Don’t get me wrong–I would get the fuck out of there as soon as Mastodon was done playing.

And honestly, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of Mastodon, but I think they could probably put on a good show.

 
 

And honestly, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of Mastodon, but I think they could probably put on a good show.

After you thaw them out, and maybe a good brushing. I was more a fan of the Banana Splits, myself.

 
 

You know who else likes Wick-It’s mix tapes?

 
 

I just noticed there’s a mandolin in that Cohen song, int there?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I really enjoy listening to the Old ’97s and I hope to see them when they come to Madison.

They’re an enjoyable band to listen to.

 
 

Sweet. I’ve bookmarked that page, Lawnguylander.

 
 

“Mastodon is an American heavy metal band formed in 1999….”

Why would I even bother to find out more?

 
 

Lottery winner?

 
 

I’m sorry, but Cohen gets many points off for giving Laura Branigan her break in music.

 
 

Poopy, Cohen’s featured a mandolin in his songs since the 70s.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Why would I even bother to find out more?

Meh, even I find them listenable, and I fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAATE metal.

 
 

you can see this thread from my house !!!

is it worth scrolling up, or is it just riffs on DKW’s mum and T&U’s tits?

 
 

Fie on mandolins. Get thee an banjolele.

This line drawn in the sand, may I say that the comment above which contains the following gem:
You know WHO ELSE was a dick-tater?
is an example of comedy opportunism that will probably only arise once in the history of the universe. In order for this witticism to appear, it required 1) a local joke in which interrogatory reference is made to invoke a certain historical despot; 2) some previous comment in which a penis is inserted into a spud.
It’s so funny that it’s not funny. There is no spoon. I’m gobsmacked.

 
 

“Mastodon is an American heavy metal band formed in 1999….”
because if you didn’t find out more you’d miss out on the biggest ragtime-metal band evar! they do a metal barbershop version of “Down by the old mill stream (Where I first met you)” that is both hummable and face-meltingly shredtastic.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

is it worth scrolling up, or is it just riffs on DKW’s mum and T&U’s tits?

Why are my tits always getting blamed? They aren’t the only tits around here, you know.

 
 

biggest ragtime-metal band evar

Um, no doubt. I’m sure.

 
 

They aren’t the only tits around here, you know.

It’s hard to see the rest. You sort of block the view…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

because if you didn’t find out more you’d miss out on the biggest ragtime-metal band evar!

Yeah, they crack me up.

 
 

It’s just hard to imagine that the term “heavy metal” somehow doesn’t already include music played on, you know, BRASS INSTRUMENTS?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

 
 

DK-Dubs, I’m totally dedicating this song to you…in case you didn’t see it upthread. Lots of good pick-up lines for gettin’ the moms

 
 

Leonard Cohen is pretty much a genius.

True that, as a songwriter. (Not so much as a singer)

I’ll contribute a total oddity to the music discussion: The Star-Spangled Banner played on an amplified violin made out of a baseball bat. There are some riffs as fine as Hendrix’s work at Woodstock. It’s only 2 minutes long. You’ve got time for that.

I want spring training to start.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

True that, as a songwriter. (Not so much as a singer)

I agree–I sort of feel that way about Kate Bush, too.

 
 

I want spring training to start.

Mets’ training camp opens in 17 days!

Pitchers report sometime after the September call up….

 
 

Why are my tits always getting blamed? They aren’t the only tits around here, you know.

dont blame me, I’m only reporting what I see

 
 

True that, as a songwriter. (Not so much as a singer)

cant disagree with that, the cover version, like Bob Dylan, tent to be better

 
 

I sort of feel that way about Kate Bush, too.

*GASP*

Kate Bush is a classically trained operatic singer! OK, she doesn’t have Pat Benatar’s pipes, but it’s a little hard to argue with Wuthering Heights as one of the most beautiful vocal performances, not just from tonality, but from emotions, in rock history.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Kate Bush is a classically trained operatic singer! OK, she doesn’t have Pat Benatar’s pipes, but it’s a little hard to argue with Wuthering Heights as one of the most beautiful vocal performances, not just from tonality, but from emotions, in rock history.

Okay, she’s not a bad singer…I just find her a little…annoying.

“Wuthering Heights” is amazing, though.

 
 

Wuthering Heights

LURVE that song. And she was SO YOUNG when she wrote it. *marvels*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

dont blame me, I’m only reporting what I see

But vs has pregnant boobs!

 
 

And she was SO YOUNG when she wrote it.

And what did YOU do by the age of 19, missy?

 
 

And what did YOU do by the age of 19, missy?

Nothing that good, that’s for sure. And it’s 18.

 
 

Okay, she’s not a bad singer…I just find her a little…annoying.

The song you never hear played that really showcases her voice is “The Man With The Child In His Eyes”.

 
 

And it’s 18.

I was counting the tour in support of the album.

 
 

I figure everyone is trying to be number 1000.

Not me. I’m just happy to contribute with some padding. Like this.
.
Also FYWP.

 
 

I agree–I sort of feel that way about Kate Bush, too.

Veiled… never mind.

 
 

Speaking of death metalgrass and other unusual folk music styling, for the ukulele players among us, the chords to the entire rock musical Jeebums Crow, Superstar.

 
 

Actor!
Love did not hesitate
Love needs no mattress

 
 

I remember the first time I saw her, on the Kenny Everett Video Show late one Saturday night, when I was stoned AND drunk off my ass, and just being blown away by the video.

I think she made a couple of live appearances on the show, too, using popping in during some comedy sketch or other.

 
 

“They aren’t the only tits around here, you know.”

Jonah’s manboobs don’t really qualify as “tits.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

for the ukulele players among us, the chords to the entire rock musical Jeebums Crow, Superstar.

I may have to take up the ukulele. Then my transition to Hipster will be nearly complete!

 
 

Never heard of them, Thread Bear. Not bad. Nice little satire of the entire video genre.

 
 

WTF is “spudnuts”?

I feel comfortable saying that since it’s not an Internet tradition yet.

 
 

Make like Polanski and lactate.

 
 

T&U, this is what I’m talking bout:

 
 

for the ukulele players among us, the chords to the entire rock musical Jeebums Crow, Superstar.

I may have to take up the ukulele. Then my transition to Hipster will be nearly complete!
The trick is not to grow an ironic lumberjack beard and ride a fixie at the same time.

 
 

Make like Polanski and lactate.

You’re asking here because I guess you lactose genes, huh?

 
 

For actor:SPUDNUTS!

I had no idea Polanski was ever pregnant…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, this is what I’m talking bout:

No sound! I will listen to it when I get home.

I think I know that song, but I’m not entiiiiiiirely sure.

 
 

Speaking of Polanski, this little gem is available on auction. Who knew they had bukkake in the 1940s?

 
 

For actor:SPUDNUTS!

For vs: Spudnuts

 
 

I think I know that song, but I’m not entiiiiiiirely sure.

Oh, I do….mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….the nude body suit sort of imprinted it in my brain forever….

 
 

Well, now I really want a potato donut.

 
 

Who knew they had bukkake in the 1940s?

Who knew Deanna Durbin made DP porn?

 
 

Well, now I really want a potato donut.
A prostate?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The trick is not to grow an ironic lumberjack beard and ride a fixie at the same time.

That shouldn’t be a problem. I am currently physically incapable of both.

My friends and I played beard bingo one night at the bar. I suddenly realized how many damn beards are in this town! It’s ridiculous.

 
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