1 Rng 2 Rul Thm All, 1 Rng 2 Fnd Thm :-0

Shorter Victorophon Davidoros Hyanseninthosocles, America’s Shittiest Website™
In Defense of the Liberal Arts

  • Liberals are to blame for text messaging and Twitter. Can you imagine Frodo texting Gandalf? Or Aslan tweeting Mr. Beaver?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 248

 
 
 

I don’t even want to know.

 
 

Got out of the boat, dammit.

Hanson’s “Liberal Arts needs to lick the boots of more dead white guys” isn’t exactly exciting new analysis. Then again, what would you expect from a man who holds up Tolkien characters’ words as examples of beautiful dialogue?

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter. ™

I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know why VDH knows these books.

Also, didn’t Gandalf start the signal fires to summon help to Gondor? Seems to me that was Middle Earth’s version of a Tweet, twit!

 
 

Liberals to blame for Twitter? Isn’t it the best thing to happen to conservatives since Dred Scott v. Sandford?

 
 

Evil Bender, I love your name.

 
 

vacuumslayer: Hamlet was taken.

 
 

Hamlet was taken.

STOP JUDGING ME, DAMMIT!

Oh. You meant the nym….

 
 

I’m guessing Sarah Palin doesn’t give liberals any credit whatsoever for Twitter.

 
 

America has lots of problems. A population immersed in and informed by literature, history, art, and music is not one of them.

Fox News takes credit for averting this problem.

 
 

I feel bad for agreeing with him, but I’m a Japanese and Latin student and I really want to feel useful for once. Can’t I have just five minutes before I get thrust back into the role of future unemployed loser?

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

After a superficial survey taken from atop my bicycle…..I blame Californians.

 
 

Can’t I have just five minutes before I get thrust back into the role of future unemployed loser?

“Coffee break’s over, everyone back on your heads!”

 
 

VDH on texting:

Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.

All these kids with their whacky computeristical devices are a bunch of fucking Visigoths.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Don’t worry Viktor, there’s plenty of erudite English speakers and writers, but they’re all Asian.

 
 

A tiny technocratic elite on top crafts everything from cell phones and search engines to foreign policy and economic strategy. A growing mass below has neither understanding of the present complexity nor the basic skills to question what they are told.

Oh-oh. The Republican leadership is not going to be happy to see VDH bad-mouthing their vision of America’s future.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

wtf?
Over.

 
 

My s.o. just got 4 hours of credit for British Literature from a class on “Lord of the Rings.” He cracked me up—“Those fucking elves talk so fucking much. Talk, talk, talk.” He would have preferred that the elves text (or shut up).

Seems to me though that when liberal arts studies groups that are not dominant that they are contributing to a lot of missing history. I can see why Republican douchebags have a problem with that, but I don’t see why academia would. A common language that excludes most people isn’t so useful.

 
 

fucking Visigoths

I saw a pair of Goths visibly dry humping on the back of the MTA route 91 in Montrose last month.

Yes, they were fragmenting the muttersprache, I do believe.

 
 

So many words, so little sense:

I was the only non-Hispanic — there were no Asians, no blacks, no other whites. We may speak of the richness of “diversity,” but those who cherish that ideal simply have no idea that there are now countless inland communities that have become near-apartheid societies, where Spanish is the first language, the schools are not at all diverse, and the federal and state governments are either the main employers or at least the chief sources of income — whether through emergency rooms, rural health clinics, public schools, or social-service offices

Chewbacca lives in Fresno!!1!1!

 
 

Tolkein was in a literary group called The Inklings. They would meet and and read out their latest gold and then discuss amongst them how it stacked up, what the East Coast residuals would be etc. At one meeting Tolkein arose and huffled his New York phone book sized notes into order and prepared to hold forth. At this point, Hugo Dyson sighed loudly and said “Oh god, more fucking elves”.
Nowadays I guess he’d tweet.
Oh lord I listened to Victoranus Histeryica Hansen on a PODCAST!! This is more examples of the losted langwitch!!!

 
 

Snorghagen said,
Oh-oh. The Republican leadership is not going to be happy to see VDH bad-mouthing their vision of America’s future.

Yeah, pretty much this. Or, in a manner more appropriate to this topic: “srsly”

 
 

Wot? Isn’t Twitter and the refuge of deranged morons suffering frostbite of the brain from their months of hiding from the media in the Alaskan wilderness? I mean, it’s obviously the sole domain of squamous beasts who can’t carry a healthy child to term but instead shat out a malformed abomination and forced it to compete on Dancing with the Stars.

Uh, you know, uh, hypothetically.

 
 

I’m guessing Sarah Palin doesn’t give liberals any credit whatsoever for Twitter.

There are two alternate forms of Twitter. One is used by liberals, and is vulgar, uncouth, reductive and an attack on the English language and the superior culture it represents. The other is used by Sarah Palin, and is a clever, witty and down-to-earth symbol of the people.

They’re very hard to tell apart. The simplest way is that one is used by liberals, the other by Sarah Palin.

Government, Big Government, Earmarks, the Media, the Polls and various other institutions also experience this strange conservative/liberal duality. Don’t let it bother you, and please don’t think too hard about it.

 
 

Don’t tell Victor that it’s all just a series of tubes.

 
 

A tiny technocratic elite on top crafts everything from cell phones and search engines to foreign policy and economic strategy. A growing mass below has neither understanding of the present complexity nor the basic skills to question what they are told.

Well, don’t feel too self-conscious, Vic. Most of the tiny technocratic elite doesn’t have the understanding or basic skills either.

 
 

So many words, so little sense:

Story of the NRO’s life. And PJM too, where Vic also makes a name for himself by typing so many words that people think he’s saying something important.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

It all started when some liberal wrote in a H.S. Yearbook:

2bigadouchebag

2b
________
4gotten

 
 

but I’m a Japanese and Latin student

Does that make you Latinese?

 
 

Sam, U R totes my BFF!!

This ring is so EFFED UP! OMG!

 
 

So many words, one freaking sentence.

Again, I do not editorialize, but I note these vast transformations over the last 20 years that are the paradoxical wages of unchecked illegal immigration from Mexico, a vast expansion of California’s entitlements and taxes, the flight of the upper middle class out of state, the deliberate effort not to tap natural resources, the downsizing in manufacturing and agriculture, and the departure of whites, blacks, and Asians from many of these small towns to more racially diverse and upscale areas of California.

 
 

1 Rng 2 Rul Them All, 1 Rng 2 Fnd Thm

I can haz ring back now? Plz? Sry 4 F-ing up M-Earth, waz totes JK.

 
 

A tiny technocratic elite on top crafts everything from cell phones and search engines to foreign policy and economic strategy. A growing mass below has neither understanding of the present complexity nor the basic skills to question what they are told.

Hey Victor, since I doubt you’re among the technocratic elite, where does that put you?

 
 

My prcs! H8 Bgnz!

 
 

FYWP

Lulz for Gollum and Sauron.

 
 

where Vic also makes a name for himself by typing so many words that people think he’s saying something important.

All work and no play makes Vic a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Vic a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Vic a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Vic a dull boy.

 
 

Ha! Gdlf pwned! OMG! Entz!

 
 

Then again, what would you expect from a man who holds up Tolkien characters’ words as examples of beautiful dialogue?

I know, right? Diner scene from Reservior Dogs. HELLO? Now that’s beautiful dialog.

 
 

All work and no play make Homer something something…

 
 

Whenever I hear “Stuck in the Middle” I think of that movie.

 
 

“Go crazy?”
“Don’t mind if I do!”

 
 

Whenever I hear “Stuck in the Middle” I reach for my revolver.

 
 

“Go crazy?”
“Don’t mind if I do!”

I’m pretty sure that was the funniest Simpsons scene in the history of the show. The only other one that competes is Sideshow Bob and the Rake Farm in the Cape Fear parody episode.

 
 

What an odd little piece. He claims one modern piece being shown in the Smithsonian right now won’t stand the test of time like the 500 year old art he prefers after referencing “great” writers Tolkien and Lewis? Sheesh. Also while I think one could make a good case that utilitarianism has affected Liberal Arts education funding, his attempt to blame Liberals too via bagging on expanding L.A. degree programs was pretty fucking stupid.

 
 

Story of the NRO’s life. And PJM too, where Vic also makes a name for himself by typing so many words that people think he’s saying something important.

Frustrated commercial jingle writer?

 
 

“I’m pretty sure that was the funniest Simpsons scene in the history of the show. The only other one that competes is Sideshow Bob and the Rake Farm in the Cape Fear parody episode.”

I’m in love with the episode where Troy Macclure had to marry Selma. That’s gotta be one of the darkest funniest of the bunch.

 
 

I think “500 year-old art” is so important because (1) there was so little of it compared to now and (2) we all have to look at it to learn about the evolution of art. It’s like Hamlet. I think it’s a so-so play, but reading it is indispensable seeing how many other people have read it and referenced it.

Necessarily, the early pieces that define a new field will have a long life. That doesn’t mean the contemporary work in the same field is worthless, just that it’ll be a while before the long view can be taken.

 
 

I love the old Sideshow Bob episodes, but I think my all time favorite bit was “Citizen Kang”

 
 

Ooh! Ooh! How about Troy MacClure singing “From chimpan-A
To chimpanzee!” rofl! Brilliant. I loved all Troy macClure episodes. *sigh*

 
 

So many words, one freaking sentence.

Again, I do not editorialize, but I

editorialize. There: shorter but with no divergence from the original!

 
 

It’s like Hamlet. I think it’s a so-so play, but reading it is indispensable seeing how many other people have read it and referenced it.

I feel much the same way about the Bible: as history, it’s worthless; as mythology, it’s inconsistent; as literature, it’s mediocre; as a moral guide, it’s appalling. But as a cultural reference, it’s inescapable.

 
 

**sigh**

C’mon, Friday. What’s the goddamned holdup?

 
 

I’ll get here when I damn well please, tsam!

 
 

…although for my money, the best “Planet of the Apes”-related song is clearly this.

Yes, I am now babbling to myself.

 
 

Beaver. Heh heh heh.

Okay, O/T: You crazy kids go read my latest Huff Post piece and tell me if this is a shitty idear or a gleam of possibility.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-tripp/an-immodest-proposal_2_b_797199.html

I’m serious about this. Bank our votes, and pledge ’em to the politician that promises to do what we ask, in return for the votes. If the politician doesn’t do it, we can tell right away.

Also, PENIS.

 
 

by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether,

Gosh darn these kids with their newfangled printing presses, they just don’t make em anymore like manuscripts handlettered by a monk keeping a vow of silence.

 
 

OK, here is on the menu at Casa VS tonight:

Lamb chops marinated in lemon and garlic
Grilled pita bread
Homemade hummus and raita
Grilled tomatoes and scallions

Now…who wants to eat with me?

 
 

what’s

I blame iPhone.

 
 

Well, I knew this was coming, damn Romans!

“…we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.”

And produced those electric grunts, French, Spanish, Catalan, Rumanian, Portuguese, Italian….why the Tower of Babel had never heard such discordant sounds.

 
 

I’ll get here when I damn well please, tsam!

No, you’ll get here NOW.

 
 

Now…who wants to eat with me?

should I bring red or white?

 
 

“No, you’ll get here NOW.”

Yes, sir.

 
 

Now…who wants to eat with me?

What does a lamb chop taste like? I’ll show up just for the hummus.

 
 

“should I bring red or white?”

Ooh! White I think! *pulls out chair*

 
 

“What does a lamb chop taste like? I’ll show up just for the hummus.”

You’d love it, tsam. Trust me.

 
 

Oh crap. Another thread popped up and I’m late to the party again! And that was after posting my favorite history joke at the bottom of the ‘Exposed’ thread! Now I’ve got to catch up on this one….

 
 

Celine Dion walks into a bar. Horse says, “why the long face?”

I have never eaten a lamb chop in my entire ding-dong life. That only just occurred to me.

 
 

You’d think a guy who presents himself as Mr. High Class could reach a little deeper than Tolkien to prove what a fancypants professor-man he is. And I say this as someone who likes Tolkien.

 
 

Pwned by a grrl? FM undeath.

 
 

LOL imma rap u up in silk biznatch

 
 

The liberal arts face a perfect storm. The economy is struggling with obscenely high unemployment and is mired in massive federal and state deficits. Budget cutting won’t spare education.

The public is already angry over fraud, waste, and incompetence in our schools and universities. And in these tough times, taxpayers rightly question everything about traditional education — from teachers’ unions and faculty tenure to the secrecy of university admissions policies to which courses really need to be taught.

Opportunistic private trade schools have sprouted in every community, offering online certification in practical skills without the frills and costs of so-called liberal-arts “electives.”

In response to these challenges, the therapeutic academic Left proved incapable of defending the traditional liberal arts.

Gee. Who was the “therapeutic academic Left” protecting this stuff from again? Muslim hordes or what?

 
 

U cum hr, I Fuck U up!!

 
 

A howling voice kept calling: Don’t trust the shorter, don’t trust the shorter.

I got out of the boat.

I should have trusted the shorter.

 
 

The liberal arts face a perfect storm. The economy is struggling with obscenely high unemployment and is mired in massive federal and state deficits. Budget cutting won’t spare education.

The public is already angry over fraud, waste, and incompetence in our schools and universities. And in these tough times, taxpayers rightly question everything about traditional education — from teachers’ unions and faculty tenure to the secrecy of university admissions policies to which courses really need to be taught.

Opportunistic private trade schools have sprouted in every community, offering online certification in practical skills without the frills and costs of so-called liberal-arts “electives.”

In response to these challenges, the therapeutic academic Left proved incapable of defending the traditional liberal arts.

LOL self pwn!

Yeah, asshole. We’ve been trying to protect these institutions from fucking conservative mystical and superstitious dogma. It hasn’t been working since the cheapshot motherfuckers started gutting K-12 and preschool education. I guess they’re still all butthurt over that Enlightenment thing that just happened a minute ago.

And don’t blame us for stupid shit like Twitter. That’s another one of your phony fucking American Success Stories™

 
 

in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.

Tribal provinces which had had their own languages already over which a thin layer of Latin was applied? Anyhoo, “long-term wide-spread language change due to break-up of empire :: short-term platform-specific spelling adjustments due to tech design limitations,” not so analogous.

 
 

Then again, what would you expect from a man who holds up Tolkien characters’ words as examples of beautiful dialogue?

I’m among the people who who has a high regard for the dialogue in LoTR. What sort of dialogue do you admire?

Also, didn’t Gandalf start the signal fires to summon help to Gondor?

Nope. The Beacons were lit while Gandalf and Peregrin were riding to Gondor. (In Tolkien’s text, not in the film.)

I feel bad for agreeing with [Hanson].

Don’t. I agreed with large chunks of it. (Let the barrage begin!)

I think “500 year-old art” is so important because (1) there was so little of it compared to now and (2) we all have to look at it to learn about the evolution of art.

I’ll second that, brother!

they just don’t make em anymore like manuscripts handlettered by a monk

I’ll second that, too.

http://www.google.com/images?client=safari&rls=en&q=book+of+kells&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=988&bih=986

 
 

“Come hither, Frodo,” Gandalf twinkled, stuffing a briar with pipe-weed by the leaping red fire. The hobbit, newly circumspect since he had been buggered senseless by Tom Bombadil, lingered by the window. “Frodo?” Gandalf said, and now there was concern in his gruff voice.
“I’m concerned,” Frodo said. “Sam is a simple fellow, even for a hobbit. a fuckwit, as you might say. And him all alone out there in the cold night with those shepherds — they’re not gentlemen, Gandalf.”
“No indeed, little one,” Gandalf replied, rising to his full height. “Nor am I.” And with that, the wizard strode across the room, his eyes burning with unnatural light —

–Excerpt from The Myrmidion, by JRR Tolkien

 
 

Even the Evil Islamofascists made some lovely illuminated manuscripts.

http://www.al-furqan.com/en/al-furqan-foundation/islamic-manuscripts/board-of-directors

This one is calligraphic. My favorites are geometric and floral.

 
 

GANDOLF
ISREAL

 
 

I got nothin’ tonight. Especially because I despise Twitter. Maybe I’m just cranky. I’m going back to re-reading Patrick O’Brian now. I’m about to begin The Commodore, the 17th novel in the Aubrey-Maturin series.

Goodnight all. Have fun.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Don’t dirty too many plates, people. Lots to do in the dungeon tonight…..if you catch my drift….

 
 

I hate Twitter and texting.

Ok, I get the limited utility of texting in some situations – you need to get a message to someone who’s in a meeting. Beyond that, it’s a fucking phone, a device that was invented for oral communication between people who aren’t in the same locale. Texting is like going back to the fucking telegraph in terms of the amount of time and effort it takes to communicate a simple message.

And Twitter’s just for dumb gits who have lots of time to type “LOL!!” over and over again – and who, worse yet, can find anything “LOL!!”-worthy in a barely coherent 140-character text fart.

 
 

Hunchback, there’s a fly in my soup.

 
 

I wonder if, 130 or so years ago, some hideous precursor of VDH scratched out the same column about the telegraph?

And, centuries previously, another VDH avatar penned in Latin a denunciation of movable type?

Hell, when writing was being developed, some ancient VDH facsimile probably chanted about how it would destroy storytelling.

VDHs may come and go, but pompous idiocy is forever with us.

 
 

I think it’s interesting that humans, who evolved to talk, often prefer “texting” to the spoken word. Funny, that.

 
 

Hell, when writing was being developed, some ancient VDH facsimile probably chanted about how it would destroy storytelling.
Walking upright has destroyed our culture!!!

 
 

This is what comes from teaching children to type.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*shrug* I like Twitter.There are some very smart, very funny people on Twitter.

 
 

There are some very smart, very funny people on Twitter.

Indeed.

 
 

Spengler Dampniche said,
December 17, 2010 at 1:14

It doesn’t sound at all crazy to me. (Then again, I’m a crazed Guerilla Voter who absolutely refuses to vote for either Leprosy or Plague….) I encourage the Sadlynauts to read the essay. It’s an intriguing idea.

Okay, now heading off to read.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Spengler, what’s a fly doing in your soup?

(this, it’s come to this?)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hey, I didn’t say *everybody* on Twitter was smart and/or funny. I didn’t even say most people were.

But there are a few of us.

 
 

It all started going wrong when those crazy kids started crawling onto land.

 
 

Hell, who needs multicellular organisms.

 
 

Ok, I get the limited utility of texting in some situations – you need to get a message to someone who’s in a meeting. Beyond that, it’s a fucking phone, a device that was invented for oral communication between people who aren’t in the same locale. Texting is like going back to the fucking telegraph in terms of the amount of time and effort it takes to communicate a simple message.

I’m grateful that I don’t have to listen to most of the conversations that are texted. So are you. Twitter seems awfully silly to me, but then I don’t use it.

 
 

Binary fission was good enough for us, then those crazy kids had to go and start with the budding. You don’t even want to know what the newer generations are up to.

 
 

Kids now days, nothing but sex,sex,sex.

 
 

If you ask me, things were a hell of a lot simpler before all this silly-ass ‘living organism’ craziness popped up.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Hah, take that WONKETTE!!!!

 
 

Okay, guys, enough is enough. I created the universe, but I change my mind once in a while. I made bipedal dinosaurs, decided I liked four legs better, went back. Then bipeds again, but the flightless bird thing gets tired, so I went back to four legs. Then, mankind. And you know what? Fuck you. I’m letting dogs take over next.

 
 

I like Twitter, though I rarely “tweet” anything. I use it as a news aggregator, a place to get different updates and headlines. I usually have it running on an open page and occasionally check in to see if NOLA.com or digby or Stephen Fry or PZ Meyers have said anything interesting. It is possible to craft a coherent thought using 140 characters without resorting to godawful grammar or bizarre word structure.

I like texting, too, as a means of communication, mainly because I hate hate talking on the phone. I did it as a job for years, and most of the time I want to contact someone – usually to find out where the hell they are or where I need to go – texting is sufficient. Besides, I rarely have anything interesting enough to say to carry on what I’d consider an enjoyable conversation.

I would bemoan the decaying of grammar and spelling because of Twitter and texting, but 10 years of blog comments sections, not to mention blogs themselves, and message boards have convinced me we lost that particular battle years ago.

 
 

Cool, but only if the Labs make the rules. That would be a happy society.

 
 

I would bemoan the decaying of grammar and spelling because of Twitter and texting, but 10 years of blog comments sections, not to mention blogs themselves, and message boards have convinced me we lost that particular battle years ago.

I not see nothing wrung width the comets on all oaf the blugs beKos of spilling and gramer mess-steaks. Whot jew taking aboot?

 
 

Hanson = N00B.

Teh punchline?

The vast majority of those liberal-arts folks – especially those weirdos who regularly read the classics & enjoy doing so – would tend to find Hanson’s politics loathsome & indefensible, based on their conscience along with the power of pure sweet reason (& being able to own & operate a long-term memory).

Rest assured there was some academic with an identical pointy stick up his arse back in the day, knuckles white from clutching his pearls, flaming on Shakespeare for his rank abuse of Mother English. “Alack! Forsooth! His clauses are all willy-nilly! Worse, he even MAKES UP NEW WORDS! Plainly, if he’s lighter than a duck, he must be a word-witch! Gettest thou the kindling whilst I bringeth the marshmallows!”

Languages are not static, & ours is truly the Borg of tongues in terms of its ability to absorb any contemporary squeak or grunt that crosses its path. Refudiate THIS.

 
 

Not to put a Spaniel in the works but maybe not Labs?

 
 

I welcome our new Spaniel overlords.

 
 

jim, that was sublime.

 
 

The fact is, liberal bias in the media and the Wikileaks treason is worse than what Hitler did to the Jews.

 
 

Hanson’s complaints about Twitter are just stupid; I pay no attention to Twitter but I think you can safely say that more people have more opportunity to use text in more ways now and not all of ’em are going to be writing so clearly, whereas 20 years ago people who didn’t want to type pretty much never had a reason to. Shut up gramps.

 
 

The fact is, liberal bias in the media and the Wikileaks treason is worse than what Hitler did to the Jews.

Holocaust trivializing, eh? You just made our list, shitstain. Don’t give a reason to cross you off it.

 
 

The fact is, Obama is the worst enemy that Isreal ever had. He wants the Muslims to defeat the One True God and restore the caphilate.

 
 

Mr. Ruppert brings the stuppert.

 
 

jim, that was sublime.

Yep – my snark goes straight from solid to gas.

 
 

Yep – my snark goes straight from solid to gas.

I’m glad I set my beer down.

well done!

I got nuthin’

 
 

MUSLIMS ISREAL!

 
 

The fact is, we can haz worst enemy who keeps us at the top of his foreign aid list, continues to supply our military, and can’t even question our policies without a scream of bipartisan outrage binding his hands?

The boots, they are a quaking, broheim! Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, the Macchabeeans and Rome had NOTHING on this joker!

 
 

These three Mossad agents walk into a bar. And they kill every motherfucker up in there, because they knew for sure there was at least one Palestinian suicide bombing motherfucker on the motherfucking premises, dig? And the bartender says, “holy shit, you just killed everybody,” and the first Mossad agent says, “relax, at least it wasn’t a busy Saturday night.”

That’s a true story. My grammy used to tell us that one when we were hiding under the old buckboard wagon in the barn during the bad times. That was back when we didn’t know those… those things could be killed with ordinary white vinegar.

I think there’s carbon monoxide in here.

 
 

Fucking nyms, how do they work?

 
 

Oh, right. Twits. Knew there was another tab for the new browser home page. Thanks, all.

While I stayed in the boat (hiding in a lifeboat under the canvas cover, as a matter of fact) I can only assume V.D.’s column is a plea to increase taxes for adequate funding for school arts programs.

415 examples of Twits w/o any of that abbr. newspeak crap right here, as kindly mentioned by T&U earlier. Keeps the ultra-banal out of the web log, as well as self-advertising.

Also, T&U forgot TBogg.

 
 

WTH is with the for-profit college ads, guys? They’re creepy. If a for-profit ends up saddling more people with debt than can pay it off, it isn’t giving people ‘careers’, is it?

It’s really a buzz-kill on the site.

 
 

Christ on a crutchSt. Nick on a stick (‘Tis the season!) there is intrusive advertising here! End of the known universe!! All I do is eff up the ol’ debbil-box & be off the web for a wk. & everything goes to HELL!!!!

 
 

eff up the ol’ debbil-box

Kin-kay.

 
 

This cave painting bad. Zog think we get eaten by saber tooth tiger if keep making pictures

 
 

Zog think

Ooooh, a progressive.

 
 

This thread needs inappropriate massages hot gay sex. I don’t know what’s funnier: The next to last sentence or the comments.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, T&U forgot TBogg.

I know! I realized that just as I posted. I fail so hard.

 
 

“With three decades of defining the study of literature and history as a melodrama of race, class, and gender oppression, it managed to turn off college students and the general reading public. “

That’s their compliant in a nutshell. Will those damn women and other idiots just shut up clean the toilets and wash my underwear? Who gave them a book anyway?

The rest is just fluff to distract.

 
 

I agree with VDH’s emotions here. Universities around the world are abandoning liberal arts and going to strictly for profit classes. If a medieval Latin class doesn’t “pay for itself”, it will get cut. This horrifies me. VDH, of course, blames the hippies for this awful state of affairs. I blame the money-changers and all the little greed heads who have thrived since the days of Ronnie St. Raygun. But whoever deserves the blame, the outcome is terrible.

 
 

I agree Svensker. I also find it amazing that people that seem normally sentient and intelligent can blame “the left” for policies and cultural behaviors that are specifically and clearly the fault of capitalism and greed run amok.

 
 

Vicktor Vainglorious Spanikopita Slipnslide Tiddliwinks Hansen need to quit stealin my shit:

But while there exists equal justice to all and alike in their private disputes, the claim of excellence is also recognized; and when a citizen is in any way distinguished, he is preferred to the public service, not as a matter of privilege, but as the reward of merit. Neither is poverty an obstacle, but a man may benefit his country whatever the obscurity of his condition. There is no exclusiveness in our public life, and in our private business we are not suspicious of one another, nor angry with our neighbor if he does what he likes; we do not put on sour looks at him which, though harmless, are not pleasant. While we are thus unconstrained in our private business, a spirit of reverence pervades our public acts; we are prevented from doing wrong by respect for the authorities and for the laws, having a particular regard to those which are ordained for the protection of the injured as well as those unwritten laws which bring upon the transgressor of them the reprobation of the general sentiment.

And we have not forgotten to provide for our weary spirits many relaxations from toil; we have regular games and sacrifices throughout the year; our homes are beautiful and elegant; and the delight which we daily feel in all these things helps to banish sorrow. Because of the greatness of our city the fruits of the whole earth flow in upon us; so that we enjoy the goods of other countries as freely as our own.

 
 

They described him as a compassionate physician, someone who gave therapeutic massages

*sniffle*
All my doctor ever does is fling the bill at me and walk out the door—-leaving me—-half-dressed—-humiliated.
*weep*

 
 

I got off the boat and the mangoes didn’t even look like mangoes. I couldn’t tell what they were.

“Therapeutic left” I can grok — yes, there are real-life parodies of touchy-feely liberals out there (yes, I am from California originally … how did you know?), but what the heck is a “utilitarian conservative”? I know many conservatives (usually of the self-proclaimed “libertarian” stripe) who claim to be “utilitarians” but they would hardly be recognized as such by J.S. Mill or J. Bentham.

Maybe, since I am not a utilitarian (although I sometimes play one on TeeVee) I am not getting something, but how can one be both a conservative (at least in terms of what is considered a ‘conservative’ today) and a utilitarian?

 
 

I also find it amazing that people that seem normally sentient and intelligent can blame “the left” for policies and cultural behaviors that are specifically and clearly the fault of capitalism and greed run amok. – kate

I don’t find it at all amazing. The forces of cultural reaction have long blamed the Jews the cosmopolitan left for both greedy, unseemly capitalist destruction of culture and for creeping socialism and the corruption of traditional masculinity with effete, cosmopolitanism.

 
 

“Twitter and text-messaging result in economy of expression, not in clarity or beauty”

Well: Duh.

 
 

I don’t want to rag on the liberal arts too much but

But the liberal arts train students to write, think, and argue inductively, while drawing upon evidence from a shared body of knowledge. Without that foundation, it is harder to make — or demand from others — logical, informed decisions about managing our supercharged society as it speeds on by.

Bullshit. Fuck You VD Hanson.

I am sick and tired of these motherfucking Artsies on their motherfucking monopoly on “thinking.” Are there a bunch of scientists and engineers that have great difficulty in expressing themselves properly? Absolutely. But Fuck You if you think that it’s only science nerds that have this problem.

Math doesn’t teach inductive argument? Science doesn’t teach “drawing evidence from a shared body of knowledge”? You would really rather policymakers have an understanding of Latin over statistics or basic science? Then Fuck You.

Liberal arts have value in their own right, stop with this wanktastic bullshit about how only a study of Classics or History allows a person to “think” properly.

 
 

Where is everybody? I liked it when God was talking about his grammy. I would like to see more of that. Also, the Pope talking about his children, too.

 
 

I went over this already. WTF Hansen?

For wealth and speed of foot and strength of body and all other such things have their rewards self-assured to their possessors, and in those fields they win who have the luck, even if not one of the others wishes their success. On the other hand, the persuasiveness of words depends upon the goodwill of the hearers, and with the help of this, even if the eloquence be moderate, it reaps glory and gains favor, but lacking this help, even if it be surpassingly good, it is thwarted by those who hear.

 
 

I don’t want to rag on the liberal arts too much…

Thing is, non-douchebag liberal artsie peeps will never make Hanson’s argument, they certainly don’t claim a monopoly on being able to teach people “how to think”. It is a selling point though for their courses, the other one is that the subject matter is generally a bit interesting.

But then, I did econometrics, so it’s not like the bar for a “a bit interesting” is very fucking high.

 
 

Liberal arts have value in their own right, stop with this wanktastic bullshit about how only a study of Classics or History allows a person to “think” properly.

It was particularly humorous to find that nugget in the sorry loaf VDH pinched off. If Classics is how he learned to think and argue… well, I can’t see Understudied Group Studies serving folks any worse.

 
 

Isn’t VS celebrating the first anniversary of her pregnancy this week?

 
 

Pow! Killed it!

 
 

Hey ,we’re not all liberal, there are some conservative Arts too.

 
 

If Snort falls in the woods….?.

 
 

If Woods snorts in the fall….?.

 
 

For some odd reason, VDH reminds me of this:

“_Oh Dragonbreth! Gilthorpial!_” he yodeled, waving his cleaver around
like a madman. He lunged at the nearest wraith with his unwieldy sword.
“_Banzai!_” he screamed. “_No quarter asked or given! Damn the torpedoes!_”
Taking a vicious swipe, Stomper missed his mark by a good yard and tripped on
his scabbard.
The nine stared at the writhing, foaming maniac with round, red eyes.
The sight of Stomper filled them with awe. They stood speechless. Suddenly one
of the stunned creatures began to titter, then chuckle. Another guffawed. Two
more joined in, chortling loudly, and finally all nine were in the throes of
hysterical, side-aching laughter. Stomper, puffing and enraged, stood up and
tripped on his cape, spilling his silver bullets all over the floor. The whole
dining room roared with unbelieving hilarity. Two Nozdrul collapsed to the
ground, helplessly giggling. Others staggered about, great red tears rolling
down their scaly cheeks, gasping for air and incapable of holding their maces.
_Haw haw haw!_ Stomper got to his feet, his face beetred with anger. He lifted
his sword, and the blade fell off the handle. _Haw haw haw haw haw!_ The
Nozdrul rolled and writhed on the ground, clutching their ribs. …etc

 
 

Oh well, no more dancing with myself.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Bored of the Rings.

 
 

“Oh well, no more dancing with myself.”

Go Hogs!

 
 

how can one be both a conservative (at least in terms of what is considered a ‘conservative’ today) and a utilitarian

Your problem is that you are stuck in reality. If you were a wingnut, it would make perfect sense.

For example, consider supply-side economics. Tax cuts on wealthy people lead to increased investment which creates jobs and increases the overall standard of living. Take that as an axiom (Please. And try the veal.) Now, being in favour of tax cuts on the wealthy is utilitarian. You don’t do it for some airy fairy reason or because you’re a greedy motherfucker; you do it because it will make all the poor people better off. Greatest good for the greatest number, you see?

We can do foreign policy this way, too. OMG, IF WE DON’T INVADE IRAN THEY’LL KEEP OPPRESSING WOMEN, SO WE HAVE TO INVADE TO SAVE THE WOMEN!!! See? Greatest good for the greatest number.

If you aren’t batshit insane, none of this makes sense, but since they are batshit insane…

 
 

consider supply-side economics

Yeah, we supply our economics to their side.

 
 

Yesseree, Hunchback. I was surprised to find the whole of Bored of the Rings in pdf on the Intertubes…

 
 

A Short(er) Pre-History of Powerline, by Scott W. “Big Trunk” Johnson:

Back in 1991 some jerks in the liberal media said Reagan was bad for regular people. John Hinderaker and I looked around our law partners’ offices and knew that couldn’t be true. Who cares about losers, anyway? So we harrassed some newspaper editor until he let us write an op-ed. The wingnut welfare has been pouring in ever since.

 
 

Bullshit. Fuck You VD Hanson.

I am sick and tired of these motherfucking Artsies on their motherfucking monopoly on “thinking.” Are there a bunch of scientists and engineers that have great difficulty in expressing themselves properly? Absolutely. But Fuck You if you think that it’s only science nerds that have this problem.

Math doesn’t teach inductive argument? Science doesn’t teach “drawing evidence from a shared body of knowledge”? You would really rather policymakers have an understanding of Latin over statistics or basic science? Then Fuck You.

Liberal arts have value in their own right, stop with this wanktastic bullshit about how only a study of Classics or History allows a person to “think” properly.

As Ted the Slacker says, non-douchey liberal arts/humanities/whatever you want to call them people wouldn’t make the argument that only those fields teach you how to think. I have academic training in both science and history, and I gained a lot in the general sense of learning how to think from both of them. So I understand your frustration with Hanson’s argument; he didn’t make it very well.

In my experience, however, well-intentioned people who say things similar to what Hanson wrote tend to do so in response to the view that the liberal arts/humanities are an increasingly irrelevant luxury and that they don’t “do anything” for society because their intellectual value is not as tangible or quantifiable. The STEM vs. liberal arts dichotomy is a false one, of course. Policymakers should have certainly have an understanding of basic science, but an understanding of history is, I would argue, also important in helping policymakers put their knowledge of basic science in some kind of larger context.

(I don’t think you were arguing against that last point, just putting it out there.)

 
 

If you aren’t batshit insane, none of this makes sense, but since they are batshit insane…

Yup. Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s trickle down economics.

 
Alkonholics Untie!
 

“Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.”

This from a guy who chooses to live in one of the stupidest counties in California?

Dur-de-dur! I are the m3th king of teh Fresnoe!

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

A rediscovered classic, Bigby. Like the Dead Sea Scrolls….with POOP!!!

 
 

Isn’t VS celebrating the first anniversary of her pregnancy this week?

16th weekaversary. Almost halfway done. Then the easy part starts, right? Right?

 
 

Good catch AU!:

“Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.”

By VDH’s logic, it’s a bad thing that we English speakers are not speaking in the language of Beowulf.

Meanwhile, I just realized the full significance of the shorter (and hence the piece being summarized): of course liberals are responsible for Twitter, etc. … the internet began under big gummint auspices even before Al Gore invented it. Nu? VDH pretty much admits all that glibertarian bull about “all innovation comes from private entities and gummint only squashes innovation” is 100% dead wrong.

 
 

I am sick and tired of these motherfucking Artsies on their motherfucking monopoly on “thinking.” Are there a bunch of scientists and engineers that have great difficulty in expressing themselves properly? Absolutely. But Fuck You if you think that it’s only science nerds that have this problem.

What do you do, DKW? *nosy*

Also, too, I’ve always thought sciency-types were kind of artists in their own right, ‘cuz they are playing…they’re just playing with a different medium than I am.

 
 

Regarding the “humanities teach you to think” argument: the only time I ever hear actual humanities profs making that argument is when it is time to reconsider general education requirements.

 
 

lso, too, I’ve always thought sciency-types were kind of artists in their own right, ‘cuz they are playing…they’re just playing with a different medium than I am. – VS

That’s me. I’m a playah! ok. whom am I kidding?

Actually I know a few scientists who are frustrated artistes who dress in black a lot …

 
 

Bigby said,
December 17, 2010 at 18:09

Prescient satire for our times from 1969:

“Oh the leaves are falling, the flowers are wilting, and the rivers are all going Republican. O Ramar, Ramar, ride quickly on your golden unicycle and warn the nymphs and drag queens! Ah, who shall now gather lichee nuts and make hoopla under the topiaries? Who will trim my unicorns? See, even now the cows laugh, alas, alas.” Chorus: “We are the chorus, and we agree. We agree, we agree, we agree.”

I hope that wasn’t too Boring…

 
 

Then the easy part starts, right? Right?

Easy I wouldn’t know from Adam. I do think you’re heading into the joyous stage where strangers will rub your belly while you’re in line at the grocery store.

 
 

Actually it is parody more than satire. But what’s the diff among friends.

 
 

I do think you’re heading into the joyous stage where strangers will rub your belly while you’re in line at the grocery store.

My wife enjoyed hearing “you’re so big! when are you going to have that kid?!?!?” from strangers at the office throughout her whole third trimester.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

was Tim Benzedrine in BOTR?

 
 

Actually I know a few scientists who are frustrated artistes who dress in black a lot …

That is a funny visual to me for some reason.

 
 

Actually I know a few scientists who are frustrated artistes who dress in black a lot …

Harry Pottery & the Sulk of the Goths?

 
Social Science Robot
 

Awesome tombstone:

This sentence

“Opportunistic private trade schools have sprouted in every community, offering online certification in practical skills without the frills and costs of so-called liberal-arts “electives.”

has an ad box right above it. When I open the page, it comes up as an ad for Hofstra’s Health Sciences program.

 
 

*sniffle*
All my doctor ever does is fling the bill at me and walk out the door—-leaving me—-half-dressed—-humiliated.
*weep*

Sounds like you’re in need of a MASSAge.

 
 

My wife enjoyed hearing “you’re so big! when are you going to have that kid?!?!?” from strangers at the office throughout her whole third trimester.
This is why I have decided it is good manners to never notice anyone’s pregnancy no matter how advanced until explicitly informed of it’s existence.

 
 

I keep wondering when the first person is going to ask me when I’m due. ‘Cuz I plan on asking—pleasantly–“That’s a risky question to ask, isn’t it?”

 
 

Regarding the “humanities teach you to think” argument: the only time I ever hear actual humanities profs making that argument is when it is time to reconsider general education requirements.

Fair enough, but when you see yourself on the chopping block, it’s understandable that one might make arguments in the same kind of language that those who (may) wish to reduce your presence use.

In my more cynical moments, I sometimes think that if institutions of higher ed really do see humanities as A Bunch of Useless Fields In Which People Make Shit Up, they should stop paying lip service and just eliminate those departments.

 
 

Good way to commit suicide. Ask a large heavyset woman when she’s due.

Then find out she’s not pregnant.

 
 

Pooper head!

 
 

Not that anyone is……………..ah,shit.

 
Social Science Robot
 

“In my more cynical moments, I sometimes think that if institutions of higher ed really do see humanities as A Bunch of Useless Fields In Which People Make Shit Up, they should stop paying lip service and just eliminate those departments.”

Nah, we’re totally added value for the real estate on campus. And if we got replaced by a Starbucks there would be zoning issues.

 
 

This is why I have decided it is good manners to never notice anyone’s pregnancy no matter how advanced until explicitly informed of it’s existence.

To be fair, these were strangers who saw her every day. Still rude, but a safe bet that she wasn’t just fat.

She didn’t seem to like “hey, lay off the beer!” jokes either.

 
 

This is why I have decided it is good manners to never notice anyone’s pregnancy no matter how advanced until explicitly informed of it’s existence.

“What do you mean? I’m not OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY STOMACH?!?!?!”

“Oh no, is my cyst that obvious?”

“It has been foretold that he will be born when the skies turn to ash and the seas to blood, and the sins of man can no longer be forgiven by a vengeful god. He is long overdue, if you ask me.”

Fuck, I wish I was pregnant right now.

 
 

VS, I would advise you to not watch Alien or The Fly.

 
 

And as long as I’ve got the book out, here is my favorite myth:

“Sorcery!” cried Gimlet as a tunaburger flew past his ear. “Witchcraft! Deviltry! Isolationism! Free silver!”

“Aye,” said Legolam, “the river is under a spell, for it is named after the fair elf-maid Nesselrode, who had the hots for Menthol, God of After-Dinner Drinks. But the evil Oxydol, Goddess of Quick Tricks and Small Slams, appeared to her in the shape of a five-iron and told her that Menthol was two-timing with Phisohex, daughter of King Sano.

“At this Nesselrode became wroth and swore a great oath to kick Phisohex in the gut and get her mother, Cinerama, Goddess of Short-Term Loans, to turn Menthol into an erector set. But Menthol got wind of the plot and came to Nesselrode in the guise of a refrigerator, turned her into a river, and went west to sell encyclopedias.

“Even now, in the spring, the river softly cries, ‘Menthol, Menthol, you are one wazoo. One day I’m the elf next door and then poof I’m a river. You stink.'”

“A sad story,” said Frito. “Is it true?”

“No,” said Legolam. “There’s a song, too.”

Now try to tweet that….

 
 

“They know what causes that now! HAR-HAR-HAR”.

 
 

was Tim Benzedrine in BOTR?

Roger that.

 
 

“It has been foretold that he will be born when the skies turn to ash and the seas to blood, and the sins of man can no longer be forgiven by a vengeful god. He is long overdue, if you ask me.”

Fuck, I wish I was pregnant right now.

I would pay to see that. The reaction would be priceless.

 
 

Nah, we’re totally added value for the real estate on campus. And if we got replaced by a Starbucks there would be zoning issues.

Never thought of it that way. Nice!

 
 

“Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether

You know, I still can’t get over how stupid this is. The only way these linguistic shortcuts work is if people understand them, i.e. they are still part of a shared written language. Most of the shortcuts are word play similar to the sort that’s been going on for ages, including in America, and abbreviations regularly become part of the regular language without shattering it(snafu, for one, which dates from WWII). You know, just FYI.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Hawley Smoot!!!!

(I’m kinda spooked by how much of that is coming back to me……)

 
 

Mysticdog said,
December 17, 2010 at 19:09

Excellent!

 
Social Science Robot
 

“You know, I still can’t get over how stupid this is. The only way these linguistic shortcuts work is if people understand them, i.e. they are still part of a shared written language.”

Alas, your statement is based on a nuanced, critical understanding of society which it is the job of liberal education to eradicate.

 
 

What do you do, DKW? *nosy*

Well, I take long lunches. And I play a doctor on the intratoobs. Also, I make a lot of mothers very happy.

I’m actually an environmental engineer. Emphasis on the mental part. Mostly I play with Excel. And your mom.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

There was the same kind of language lamenting over ebonics too. Jive baaaaaaby.

 
 

Hawley Smoot!

Some forty years ago, I took a 200-level history course on ‘The 1920’s and the Great Depression’ at the University of Iowa. (I was a history student then.) It was taught by a professor with special expertise on Hawley-Smoot; he wrote his dissertation on the subject.

That course gave me a special insight of just how egregious the Republican lies–and we might as well add some Democrats too–about the period truly are. The value of history. The value of a liberal education.

 
 

“I’m actually an environmental engineer.”

What do they do? Are you a faggy tree-hugger?

 
 

ROFLOTR – Rolling on the floor laughing on the rug.

Tolkien already uses several tweet style abbreviatons:

ELF – Evil Liberal Fairy

ENT – Enviro-Nut Treehugger

ORC – Optimal Republican Creature

 
 

I keep wondering when the first person is going to ask me when I’m due.

Can I be the first? When are you due?

 
 

Snidely–

You may! June 1.

 
 

Sounds like you’re in need of a MASSAge.

I hate it when I have to look up find a definition in the Urban Dictionary.

 
 

Did they have that in Urban Dictionary? I was just making a supremely dumb Eric Massa joke.

 
 

To clarify a point – re: Science edumacation being gajillions bettar than liberal arts. The stuff I learned in skule? Don’t use it. University level physics and chemistry is basically worthless to 99% of industry. I did the same two weeks of Introduction to Quantum Mechanics in like, half a dozen courses. Never used it. Might just as well have been The Iliad or Troop Movements on the Eastern Front, Winter 1943. School is full of bullshit that has very little use In The Real World, regardless of whether it’s bounding Bessel functions or comparative theology.

For the tiny sliver of folks that go on to do academics – then the academic stuff is important, but otherwise not so much.

So what good is it? Did all those years of higher education make any difference? Fuck if I know. I know who I am now – not who I’d be if I didn’t go to school. There were things I did do in school that helped – interaction with other tech trolls, dealing with the bureaucratic nonsense of university administration, the cultural environment of technical research, how to funnel beer without gagging. But I have yet to find a use for my understanding of the mechanism for Ostwald ripening.

 
 

English is an extraordinarily flexible language. It has wonderful history of borrowing words from cultures around the world. It is also concise. Here’s proof: Look at any multiple-language instructions for anything. English is always the shortest in terms of amount of space required. It is no coincidence that English is the language used globally by pilots and air-traffic controllers.

Exellent book: The Meaning of Everything, a history of the Oxford English Dictionary, a mammoth undertaking that took nearly a century to complete and involved the work of thousands of people (among them J.R.R Tolkien). There is an excellent chapter outlining the history and development of English over many centuries.

 
 

You may!

And everyone here wishes it will be without any risk to you or the bebe.

 
 

Gotta bail for an appointment. Have fun!

 
 

What do they do? Are you a faggy tree-hugger?

It’s a catchall term for someone who has a professional designation to do technical shit. Seriously, what isn’t “environmental”? And what isn’t “engineering”?

I’m currently working on some very early stage financial models to determine the required size for economic viability of a wind farm.

 
 

And not solid-state solute grain size coarsening.

 
 

Hey ,we’re not all liberal, there are some conservative Arts too.

LOL WUT

 
 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=Massa&defid=4788901

I had forgotten about him. Must be where the term comes from. Wonder if VDH coined it?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

You’d think a guy who presents himself as Mr. High Class could reach a little deeper than Tolkien to prove what a fancypants professor-man he is. And I say this as someone who likes Tolkien.

He knows how shallow the pool in which he wades is.

by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether,

Uh, does he have any awareness of the history of jargon whatsoever?

 
 

By VDH’s logic, it’s a bad thing that we English speakers are not speaking in the language of Beowulf.

If we did, I’d make a killing on spit-shield futures!

All that fucking fricative spray would make even a German bar at last call look downright arid.

 
 

“I’m currently working on some very early stage financial models to determine the required size for economic viability of a wind farm.”

You sound…not dumb. Also
“And not solid-state solute grain size coarsening.”
I have no idea what this means.

But…being super-smart is a little faggy.

Snidely–athankee!

 
 

PINTEL!

 
 

You sound…not dumb.

It doesn’t take smarts to work a financial model. Trust me, I’ve seen some pretty bad ones.

I have no idea what this means.

That was a callback-inside joke for anyone who clicked through on Ostwald ripening.

 
 

“By VDH’s logic, it’s a bad thing that we English speakers are not speaking in the language of Beowulf.”

I’m still bummed we’re not writing in calligraphy on parchment. I’m gonna bring it back. You’re on notice, texting!

*imagines sexting on parchment*

 
 

*imagines sexting on parchment*

Actor’s etchings, Smut’s woodcarvings, etc.

 
 

“Actor’s etchings, Smut’s woodcarvings, etc.”

Well, crap. Im not even breaking old-new ground.

 
 

What do they do? Are you a faggy tree-hugger?

A haggy tree-fugger? Oooowwwwcchhh, that birch gave me a woody!

 
 

*imagines sexting on parchment*

I’m thinking about pressing rods into clay tablets.

 
 

We wish Snort wood quit molesting us.

And, yes, we like puns as much as the next guy.

 
 

*imagines sexting on parchment

Does one need to hold the quill pen any place special?

 
 

I’m thinking about pressing rods into clay tablets.

Do it when drunk and you’re a plastered caster.

 
 

You should see some of the mosaics from Pompeii.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I’m thinking about pressing rods into clay tablets.

Cuneiporn

 
 

Like tigris, I can’t get over this bit:

Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.

There is no way in hell the internet will destroy our shared language.

And I don’t mean that in the way I would say, “FEMA’s not building concentration camps for dissidents” where even though I’m aware that governments do sometimes do such a thing, there is very good reason to believe it’s not happening here.

I mean that even in the absolute worst (by Hanson’s reckoning) case, where 1337speak (Or whatever kids today call it) evolves to the point where it becomes completely unintelligible to somebody who has only been educated in English, there will still be large swathes of people speaking a common tongue, because that’s kind of the whole point of the internet.

Does he really imagine a reality in which people in New York won’t be able to read tweets from people in California? How and why would that happen? Wouldn’t that make Twitter itself completely (Or if you prefer, even more) pointless? The technologies he’s decrying are entirely based on getting lots and lots of people to talk to each other. VDH is literally saying that as mass communication becomes increasingly popular, this will destroy the popularity of mass communications.

If the ruling class in America continues to use English as their preferred method of official communications, then people will have to learn to speak it and be marginalized.

If the “technocratic elite” becomes so enamored of abbreviations that 1337speak becomes the new language of official business, then everybody will just have to learn to speak it or be marginalized, but there will still be a shared language because those technocratic elites will need it to govern.

If Hanson wants to learn how to survive in a culture whose language and idiom are completely dismissive of both him and the things he thinks are intellectually important, then maybe he can ask the women’s and black studies folks how they dealt with it.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

There is no way in hell the internet will destroy our shared language.

Hell, the written language survived Morse Code and shorthand. Egads, VDH is a goddamn moran.

 
 

* ”Wynter wakeneth al my care,

Nou this leves waxeth bare;
Ofte I sike ant mourne sare
When hit cometh in my thoht
Of this worldes joie, hou hit goth al to noht.”

 
 

VDH is literally saying that as mass communication becomes increasingly popular, this will destroy the popularity of mass communications.

To paraphrase Yogi Berra: It got so popular nobody goes there anymore.

Also, too, speaking of liberal arts vs. technical / scientific classes: I was always a believer that a “well rounded” education was the goal for making people into good citizens. The extremes of one or another are pretty plain to see: on the one hand we have the innumerate and scientifically ignorant, who can’t understand the implications of AGW or grasp any part of the science behind it (assuming they even try) and on the other hand we see the high proportion of programmers and computer experts of other sorts who are Glibertarian and have no understanding of the impossibility of their ideals.

Um, nothing funny there…uh, look at how fat K-Lo is! Heh.

 
 

hearing “you’re so big! when are you going to have that kid?!?!?”

I get that question all the time, and I’m not even pregnant. Or a woman.

 
 

…analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.

You mean it’s going to remain the language of arts and commerce for another 1,000 years or so?

Note that in the fragment quoted above, 1600 years after the fall of the Western Empire, every word longer than four letters is a Latin loan-word.

 
 

One of my biggest regrets was believing girls were naturally more suited to things like language and the arts. Yes, my English and writing and art classes were my favorites. But I never even gave my science and math classes a fucking CHANCE. Huge mistake. Huge.

 
 

Oh, wait, sorry. “Implode” is a backformation from a Latin loan-word. And it is used incorrectly.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I had to go back to this bit:

Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether, in a way analogous to the fragmentation of Latin as the Roman Empire imploded into tribal provinces.

VDH is pretty ignorant of the factors which led to the fragmentation of Latin in the Dark Ages- much of it was due to the abysmal literacy rates, and the limitations of transcribing handwritten documents. A barely literate monk transcribing a handwritten text in a poorly lit sriptorium has none of the advantages of a modern person dealing with perfectly legible printed text. The fact that far-flung populations had little communication with each other also played a critical role in this fragmentation, a factor which VDH also decides to ignore.

 
 

But I never even gave my science and math classes a fucking CHANCE. Huge mistake. Huge.

Good thing learning’s a lifelong thing, otherwise you’d be fucked.

 
 

You mean [Latin]’s going to remain the language of arts and commerce for another 1,000 years or so?

Also science. It was the common language that every proto-scientist and scientist understood and thus used to communicate their ideas and discoveries well into the 16th century (or so, pulling the century out of my nether (latin!) regions).

 
 

I saw what you did there, Willy.

 
 

Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether

Somehow I am reminded of this.

 
 

“Good thing learning’s a lifelong thing,”

Ya know, I feel thankful for that every day.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Indeed, by inventing new abbreviations and linguistic shortcuts, we are losing a shared written language altogether

VPR?

 
 

VS,
If you ever get bored (like when you reach the immobile phase of pregnancy) this place has all sorts of lernin fer ya.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

If you ever get bored (like when you reach the immobile phase of pregnancy) this place has all sorts of lernin fer ya.

When I saw a link to “Khan University, I expected this.

 
Mad Scientesticle
 

There’s always time to learn from someone who know what they’re talking about.

 
 

On a serious note, it’s also a giant lie that “liberal arts” need to be eliminated because they are “useless” and mean that their graduates won’t be able to get a job after graduation.

In many ways, humanities majors are pretty suited for a large array of jobs. Most of the corporate level white-collar jobs are looking for people with a humanities understanding of culture, word-usage, crafting a point, etc…

See sales, marketing, and so on.

And it might not be on the best of legs, but there’s still industries around that are major specific, such as publishing needing literature majors, museums history majors, and genuine social research outfits sociologists, and so on.

And the science majors having it easy thing is a big fat lie too. I have a decent science background and I’m unemployable, because there are no entry-level jobs in the industry and the places looking for entry-level employees really want someone with more of a humanities bent to them.

Really, the only skill that seems to pay off in the sciences, at least at the moment is whether or not you’ve got the computer language background to be a code jockey and even then, no one is hiring.

Overall, it’s all a bunch of bullshit that is sold because of the confluence of two interests:

1) The money people taking over the universities. Humanities are “worthless” because they don’t by themselves pay for themselves. Science professors can often with government grants that don’t come out of university budgets, create something that the university can claim as their own and sell to private industry so private industry can pretend they do any R&D of their own. This means that science looks “better” on the budget and to the greed-soaked, for-profit mentality of these education professionals, that means that humanities are worthless, because it really doesn’t matter what happens to the students after graduation. Or what best suits their needs and society’s needs, rather than the profitability of the budget.

2) Social conservatives like VDH who have been massively upset that a) the humanities have stopped ignoring anyone not white and male and are actually studying things like oppression and thus giving people the tools to dismantle it. Also, that the humanities have seen, because of these weakening barriers keeping them out, a higher amount of female and minority group participation because of the lessened barriers. As such, there has been a concentrated effort among sexists to dub humanities as feminine and thus useless and the sciences masculine and thus the only thing worth knowing and the only thing that can at all be used to understand the world. You see this at its most blatant when talking to a libertarian and they start on the evopsych of why men’s natural respect for the raw truth of science, and airy-fairy emotional meaningless classes only provide bullshit cover for why we are by biology Fred and Wilma Flintstone and so forth.

But yeah, combine the two and we have all the humanities majors believing they are unemployable before they even try, people willing to support any garbage as long as it uses “sciencey” language, and an unnecessary war between science grads and humanities grads when both are underserved and both have had their educations attacked by unnecessary and painful budget cuts.

VDH blaming this all on the liberals who, even he admits, are the only ones fighting to save education in this country, when he has actively been engaging in the “humanities don’t teach the classics, so now they are faggy and without merit” bullshit attacks just makes me want to take my MFA-seeking partner’s textbooks from last quarter and shove them up his ass.

 
 

And really, conservatives have been trying to destroy the liberal arts entirely because it’s way too reality based for them.

Liberal arts have been moving to recognize that women and blacks existed before the 1970s, that sexism and racism are real phenomenons that affect culture, that gays aren’t demon-spawn from another dimension, that history actually disproves the blatant lies about the good-ol-days that they like to emotionally appeal to, and even point out how the bad guys in every instance of history use the same fucking arguments every time, just updated with the new out-group.

Hence, why liberal arts were attacked first. You’re beginning to see some desperate effort to expand the disciplines that are “worthless” or “taken over by liberals and thus ignorable as meaningless claptrap” what with some science disciplines bumping against the bullshit filters.

Hence why climate research, geology, and biology have fallen out of favor and are being attacked as useless and having their underpinnings knocked out.

It’s also why all the “pride” in “real” science is becoming increasingly wrapped around the engineering discplines and physics. Because those are the least likely to go against conservative dogmas and bring inconvenient truths up until the wingnuts decide to go hog-wild on gravity or some such shit.

I’m almost sad to see that the wingnuts aren’t jumping very much on the whole Obama and the kids today like their electronimics too much to be American idea as they could. I would love Electrical Engineering and Computer Science to become heretic disciplines just to see the “I am totally intelligent” libertarian buffoons try and square that with their massive masculinity insecurities and need to follow the wingnut orthodoxies.

 
 

Cerberus: Word. To all of that.

With regard to this point:

Hence, why liberal arts were attacked first. You’re beginning to see some desperate effort to expand the disciplines that are “worthless” or “taken over by liberals and thus ignorable as meaningless claptrap” what with some science disciplines bumping against the bullshit filters.

Hence why climate research, geology, and biology have fallen out of favor and are being attacked as useless and having their underpinnings knocked out.

You may be interested to know that Professor of Dangeral Studies Michael Bérubé says pretty much the same thing toward the end of this essay in the latest issue of Democracy

 
 

GRAVITY = THEFT

 
 

Wouldn’t the word to associate with fragmentation be explosion?

Or,

Implosion? But I thought you said …
* B O O M *

 
Kantian Nihilist Liberal Fascist
 

but how can one be both a conservative (at least in terms of what is considered a ‘conservative’ today) and a utilitarian?

Why, I’ve sometimes embraced six mutually contradictory philosophies before breakfast (eight before brunch on weekends).

 
 

Do it when drunk and you’re a plastered caster.

Do it alone, and you’re a masturplastered caster.

 
 

the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell noted that
There was the same kind of language lamenting over ebonics too. Jive baaaaaaby.

Waddaya mean *was*? Synchronicity obviously intends for me to mention this: Last week I got an e-mail out of the blue, or the Intertubes or something, from a student in England working on a project for her A-levels in English. (They actually make people do research things and write papers for these qualifications? I’m impressed.) The question she’s doing is “Is Ebonics bad English?” (or “bad language”; I’m not sure now); she wondered about my ideas on that particular matter.

The reason I got this was that I put something up on the Web concerning Ebonics back in 1996 or so, when it was current, and on the Internet the past is not dead, it’s not even past. So I did the best I could do offhand, and I hope it helped. Basically, I pontificated on the difference between Ebonics as a bad language for studying and discussing English literature or nuclear physics (in contrast to forms of English in which hundreds of million people, alive and dead, are fluent, making *that* English positively privileged for such studies and many others) — inhale — and Ebonics as “UR doin inglish rong” as a piece of bad linguistics with bad motives.

But here’s the thing: from her brief message it’s clear that the bad linguistic stuff about bad language is alive and well and in daily use as a political tool against Asian people in England. (I know, “Asian” is almost meaningless given the vast size of the place, but the particulars surely don’t matter here.) So the hunchback is perhaps more right than he knew; the Ebonics question, not dead yet, is still the same crap of false dichotomies, wrong questions, bad scholarship, and intent to oppress that we see in the VDH rant.

I forgot to mention “Politics and the English Language”. Must send her a follow-up. If it turns out that A-level-track students in England read that essay as an assignment, it will make my day.

 
 

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