I Can See Pyongyang From My Porch


ABOVE: What Sarah is dreaming of this Thanksgiving

Shorter Sarah Palin, Her Faggoty Fag Fag Facebook Page
A Thanksgiving Message to All 57 States

  • It’s totes unfair for the lamestream media to CRUCIFY me over the North Korea ally business which was, you know, just a slip of the tongue. Of course, when Mr. you-know-who makes a mistake, nobody says a word. You know who else thinks the United States has 57 states? You betcha.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


[h/t StrangeAppar8us at Rumproast]

 

Comments: 242

 
 
 

Really? Firsties?

Hi all

lurking fan

 
 

Tintin, h/t linkee mix up. Should go here.

[Tintin says: Fixed. Thanks.]

 
 

It’s not like a President Palin would accidentally bomb the wrong country or anything, right?

 
 

Sarah Palin attacking “the media” has got to be the biggest example EVAR of biting the hand that feeds you. I suppose she’s counting on the fact that “the media” likes being attacked, as evidenced by the treatment they give to shouters of “LIBERAL BIAS!!one!!”

I wonder what Crazee Robin thinks of this “blessed” and “grateful” Thanksgiving message. I mean it’s pure unadulterated griping, not even couched in some backhanded ironic “I’m thankful that you are such a stupid bitch” form.

LOL! I lied. I don’t give a shit what Crazee Robin thinks, just so long as she leaves me alone while I’m doing her mom.

 
 

President Palin would never pardon that goddamn turkey.

 
 

The comments are full of Teh Awesum too.

 
 

From Palin’s comments section… The truth about publicans.

It’s a sad state of affairs when the USA’s news media becomes the puppets and minions of the Soros regime…Those publican’s who knowingly lie and deceive the public by distorting the facts and out right making up false stories will surely find themselves sent to the depths of hell on judgement day while they reap what they’ve sowed while here on this earth before hand.

British tavern owners are gonna roast in hell.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Thus proving N_B correct again.

It is not possible to enjoy Thanksgiving without shitting, copiously, at some point.

 
 

Was I correct before?

 
 

…publican’s who knowingly lie and deceive the public by distorting the facts and out right making up false stories…

Water down our beer? Never.
That health code violation notice is a mistake and was supposed to be for those guys across the street.
I swear those kids provided legitimate identification.

 
 

“I suppose she’s counting on the fact that “the media” likes being attacked”

Actually, I think they prefer being slowly flogged while bound and ball gaged until they climax in a screaming orgasm but who am I to judge?

 
 

“I suppose she’s counting on the fact that “the media” likes being attacked”

The ‘strategy’ worked for Reagan and Nixon, so it’s hardly surprising to watch Simple Sarah employ it…although it gets even harder to swallow when performed at this level of cheap, grasping, utterly transparent mendacity.

 
 

It’s not like a President Palin would accidentally bomb the wrong country or anything, right?

IF she did, it would totally be the Lamestream Media™’s fault.

Also.
~

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Was I correct before?
My mistake.

 
 

although it gets even harder to swallow when performed at this level of cheap, grasping, utterly transparent mendacity.

No need to swallow, she’ll just ram it down their throats.

 
 

I don’t want to see her pyongyang.

 
 

series of misstatements and verbal gaffes made by Barack Obama

I believe “verbal gaffe” is a minor gaffe in itself.

 
 

Oh Sarah, don’t take everthin so serious. They’re just having fun with you ‘s all. Don’t you know what it means to be the butt of a joke? It don’t mean that you’re a butt, it just means that you’re the joke, that’s all. And you ain’t the only one who been the butt either. They’s plenty of them to go around. Just look at the butt joke in the biggest state, down in Texas, Mr Delay. Why they’re saying all kind of jokey things about him being a felon and a criminal and going to the big house and everone there in the prison is going to make a butt of him too. So you should just ‘member the source of the butt jokes, and if it’s you, you should just laugh with them because the best way to get back at them is to tell them it’s just a joke.

 
 

Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, life is unfair. And finally,

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

 
 

Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, life is unfair. And finally,

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

She’s giving thanks for having so much to bitch about.

 
 

She’s giving thanks for having so much to bitch about.

Remember how Substance asked what we’re number one in? EAT IT SUBBY!! USA!! USA!!

 
 

That lie is further clear proof that the media completely makes things up without doing even rudimentary fact-checking
Except when they say stuff about the North Kenyan usurper which is all true all the time so you don’t have to check it.
Call the WAHHHHMBULANCE!!!

 
 

Surely a few wingnuts must think she’s no better than TEH DARK L0RD S0R0S, P.H.U.H., if her main idea for a response to N.Korea is to go cry to China & see if they’ll slap Kim’s heinie with an energy-import cut.

Sweet Boneless Jesus, what a mewling little emo tart she is.

I would have been even more impressed if the media showed some consistency on this issue. Unfortunately, it seems they couldn’t resist the temptation to turn a simple one word slip-of-the-tongue of mine into a major political headline. The one word slip occurred yesterday during one of my seven back-to-back interviews wherein I was privileged to speak to the American public about the important, world-changing issues before us.

Yeah, get in touch with your Inner Full Diaper & wank a big puddle of self-pity-splooge all over yourself just as much as you want, you poor helpless little millionaire. Your popularity level falls slowly but ineluctably toward obscurity every single time you open your shrill slimy piehole. You lucked into giving Kristol a chubby over you at the right moment, & you’ve been riding the dragon ever since … & it shows.

When we the people are effective in holding America’s free press accountable for responsible and truthful reporting, then we shall all have even more to be thankful for!

Since you have yet to experience a real free press in your lifetime, I think You Teh People would find such effectiveness quite taxing – & I’m pretty sure total success would horrify you. Your press will only be as free as contmporary society allows it to be, period. For-profit press is required to be profitable – but no such requirements need ever exist as regard it being responsible, accurate or open, let alone free – nor do they.

What does it say about an American’s patriotism when they voluntarily perform as a “pundit” on a media network that consistently has the worst-informed audience as regards basic knowledge about US politics or world events year after year? Why should I bestow one iota of credibility to someone who repeatedly lies in public about being busted on an ethical conduct violation? How is your new television series “responsible” or “truthful” exactly?

tl;dr = Dig your ugly little dungeon of fail as fast as you can, oh Snake-Eyed Grifter Of The Tundra!

 
 

As I said over there at Rumproast, even a generous grading of Palin’s historical knowledge and perspective is damning. Even though I’m fully feeling the holiday spirit, I can at best rate her a D+, not C.

 
 

Interesting; in their hatred of teh Media they don’t mention that Fox News is their primary source of -hahaha- information.

Yesterday my hubby turned on Fox -running some soret of “documentary” history of Conseratism- and I pitched a FIT. Finally, after at least 90 seconds or pure agony for Me, he switched channels… so I was forced to spend several hours in the same room with a TV blaring “Ancient Aliens”. 🙁 But it was light-years better than Fox.

 
 

Just try and mess with the British pub Palin fans…just you try it…

 
 

If it’s a free press, then how do they make a profit?

When you cram for the exam, and it’s all so fast-paced and hectic, mistakes can be made. When this crooked, lying-ass bitch gets the nod to carry the Republikkan banner in ’12, the press had better get real honest and effective. It’s their last chance to redeem themselves as an organ* of the people. Otherwise, the end of the Great Amurikan Experiment.

*-VPR, hopefully to be rammed down the appropriate throats.

 
 

Sigh. typs and spelling errors galore. I blame a anti-heart-arrhythmia drug I’m taking, “Metoprolol”. I swear it makes me stupid, and ill tempered, and my finger joints (& feet) swell up. That’s at the lowest dose, too. It also made me so irritable I had to start taking Prozac.

Its used to treat high blood pressure in Older People, too. I wonder, sometimes, how many TBaggers take it, and if their awful attitudes would change if they stopped it?

So far I haven’t convinced my doctor to change the drug- it works very well for its purpose. But its just barely worth it. My resting heart rate easily rises to 190 without the crap. Sigh again.

 
 

More insightful selections from Palin’s comments section:

Have you ever really looked at the mean spirited hateful people whose faces take on an ugliness that betrays their godless souls?
– – – – – – – – – – – –
i really dont understand how people can just mock you when i see alot of good things your a governor your son a soldier you want to progress for this getting ready to become the HOLY LAND

 
 

Hell people, just be happy she didn’t confuse North Korea with North Carolina.

 
 

Have you ever really looked at the mean spirited hateful people whose faces take on an ugliness that betrays their godless souls?

And after you’ve noticed how hateful and mean-spirited they are, have you noticed how ugly and stupid and godless and EVIL AND FILTHY AND SATANIC THEY ARE AND FFFFFF, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

 
 

your a governor
your son a soldier
you want to progress for this
getting ready to become the HOLY LAND

Isn’t this a song on Neil Young’s new album?

 
 

That lie is further clear proof that the media completely makes things up without doing even rudimentary fact-checking

I get to bring this up not to pick a fight, but it was there in the New York Times, so we are gonna talk about it

Let’s hope that perhaps, just maybe, they might get it right next time.

I think the public rightfully is still making [TEH REAL LONG FORM VAULT COPY] an issue. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t know if I would have to bother to make it an issue, because I think that members of the electorate still want answers.

 
 

Screw all of you. Katie Couric asked Sarah what kind publications she read. That’s the kind of gotcha journalism that makes the media lame.

 
 

“Have you ever really looked at the mean spirited hateful people whose faces take on an ugliness that betrays their godless souls?”

Every time I look at footage from a teabaggin’ rally.

And every time I look at your thin-lipped mean girl face.

 
 

Poor Sarah, one little slip of the tongue and the evil MSM is all over her while that Obama guy just gets away with everything! Although, I can’t help thinking that if Obama had come from Alaska and had made a comment about living next door to Russia we would still be hearing on Fox (not)News that this is just further proof that Obama’s a communist.
BTW, if any of you want to start fundraising for my presidential campaign, I do have foreign policy experience. Where I grew up I could see the Bahamas from my porch.

 
 

vacuumslayer said,

November 26, 2010 at 20:12

Screw all of you.

That’s just the sort of attitude that could get a person knocked-up.

 
 

“Screw all of you.

That’s just the sort of attitude that could get a person knocked-up.”

To be fair, it’s barely half so far…plus T&U keeps spurning my advances.

 
 

Speaking of baby stories,
LG.

 
 

Newborn babies are universally ugly. Sorry, it’s true…and mine will be too.

 
 

To be fair, it’s barely half so far…plus T&U keeps spurning my advances.

Tell me about it.

I have a script that might help you out though, let me know…

 
 

You’d think my wit, charm,WASPy good looks and modesty would be enough.

 
 

Dear Donalde: “There ARE no real communists anymore” not “THERE’S no real communists anymore”.

 
 

I feel chastened. Clearly everyhing I’ve thought up til now was wrong. Presto-chango—I’m now a conservative!!!!!!!

 
 

Shorter Simple Sarah:

Respect my Celebrity!!

 
 

Have you ever really looked at the mean spirited hateful people whose faces take on an ugliness that betrays their godless souls?

Hey, my mom says I’m cute as a button!

Anyway, tell me again how I’m going to burn agonizingly in Hell for all eternity, Mr or Ms face-as-beautiful-as-your-soul.

 
 

Thanks Donalde! That’s gunna be great for some tee hee hees. DRoss is schooling us in teh Economonamalism.

We R dumdums because Capitalism is A Number One! You can tell because DRoss links himself calling Mark Levin a genius. Therefore Robin of Berkeley is totes right about God being great (or at least greatly endowed – He did reveal Himself to her).

 
 

“Anyway, tell me again how I’m going to burn agonizingly in Hell for all eternity, Mr or Ms face-as-beautiful-as-your-soul.”

I chuckled.

 
 

OMG! His self-linkage actually makes more sense than his other ones. Apparently the despotically ebil SOJALAMAJISM that we are so in love with is “collapsing as we speak” because Nigel Farage of the UKIP likes Sarah Palin. SRSLY. That’s the argument.

AIEEEEEE! Teh Welfare State is DOOMED!

 
teh Universal Schlong
 

Well DUH!!

 
 

Never mind that the authoritarian and Fabian socialist systems that the left idolizes are collapsing as we speak.

Fabian was terrible in North to Alaska.

 
 

I thought about saying something deep and profound about the irrevocable decay of our nation, but TBOGG said it best- “Shut up, stupid lady.”

 
 

“Am I at Fashion Week in New York or a tea party rally?” I often find myself thinking. With all the godly, beautiful faces that abound, I sometimes get confused.

 
 

With all the godly, beautiful faces that abound, I sometimes get confused.

The acrid stench of over-taxed electrical motors is a dead give away.

 
 

I think the best part of directorblueballs’ DEVASTATING TAKEDOWN of the dirty pinko commie jackasses at “Sadly, No Economic Literates” is that he seems to be saying that teh USA! USA! USA! should be getting rid of teh shackles of Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security. These hateful things sap our precious bodily fluids economic literacy.

That’s his attack on Tintin for pointing out that Robin of Berkeley had no sympathy or regard for the poor, hungry and uninsured. LOL FOOTBULLET!

Shorter DRoss:

You idiots at S,N! calling Robin of Berkeley an inhuman sociopathic monster? Feature, not a bug.

 
 

Oh Everyone look! Donny made a poopy! Isn’t he cute?

So cute!

 
 

Communism Isreal!

 
 

It’s true. I am a true communist, right here at Sadly, No! And all of you capitalist running dogs better believe I’m keeping a list. Oh yes, my gulags will be kept at full capacity, and my firing squads will work round-the-clock, you betcha.

The proletariat will control the means of production, and the state will wither away, and you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, and how many divisions has Americaneocon, anyway?

 
 

It is not possible to enjoy Thanksgiving without shitting, copiously, at some point.
I sort of toddled out of the dining area for a few minutes and when I came back, only had limited use of my legs and my eyesight had dwindled to a narrow, blood-red cone of vision. Perspiring, trembling, the whole bit. But the above wisdom was proven to be near-Biblical truth.

Not O/T, I was doing some research on borderline personality disorder because holidays are made for fun, and discovered there are literally thousands of blog posts, web pages, and articles devoted to Obammy’s narcissistic personality disorder. I’m talking about a vast body of work that allow even the most casual coon-hater to claim irrefutable, clinically proven, well-cited PRUFE that he’s a madman that grabbed the office as a kind of reward for being teh #1 asweome.

Which is interesting, when one considers that a certain nattering Nanook of negativity in fact precisely fits the diagnosis. Or to put it another way, if Obama is a narcissist, his codition is Palin by comparison.

You see what I did there.

 
 

You see what I did there.
…Misspelled ‘condition,’ that is. Where’s the dwarf? I must needs beat someone.

 
 

Wll m bldng hrt lbrl frnds, t lks t m tht y gt yr sss hndd t y ryll ths pst lctn. Wth Cnsrvtvs nw n cntrl f th Hs nd wth srs gns n th Snt, bm’s cmmnst gnd hs bn ll bt fld. B fr nd w th bst rslt f lctn nght ws whn lftwng mnbt Rss Fngld ws std b T Prt Cnsrvtv. n Wscnsn f ll plcs! Cnsrvtvs frd jst s wll n th stt wd lctns. Cptrng gvrnrshps nd stt lgstltrs nd kckng lbrl sss ll crss th frtd pln. Fc th fcts lbs, bm s dn cm ! H shll g dwn n hstr s lm dck Prsdnt! Th Snt wll ls b rs nxt lctn. Y psss r SCRWD!!!

 
 

Steve, I couldn’t have said it better myself. 100% totally agree with you, as I believe most other commenters on here will also do.

 
 

Where’s the dwarf?

Donny has him cornered with a list of commies he’s found.

 
 

Ya thats right Obma isnt doing much in this country, so he doesnt deserve the title president. He wont win next election and the republican will get there place back in both houses

 
 

Heil the Permanent Republican Majority! This time it’s sure to last a Thousand Years!

 
 

Vick, totally agree. I think we’re all starting to understand we’ve been terribly wrong on the Left.

 
 

But facts, logic, reason and history have never been strong suits for the Left.

My strong suit is a very conservative navy blue two-button single-breasted. It’s at the cleaners as a result of some stains left on it by Doug Ross’ mom.

FACT: The right-wing think tank NCPA has this very scary looking graph that they hand out to folks like DRoss. It’s tagged as being sourced from the 2009 Social Security and Medicare Trustees Report.
LOGIC:

And the insanity of ladling on another monstrous entitlement — a bill that no one read and fewer understand — is just the ticket for the economic illiterates.

What this year’s Trustees Report has to say about that monstrous entitlement:

The outlook for Medicare has improved substantially because of program changes made in the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act as amended by the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010 (the “Affordable Care Act” or ACA).

Fucking economic literacy. How does it work?

 
 

2012 is the year Republicans hope America finally finishing flushing!

Thanks for the update, “Steve”.

 
 

Obama will fall and the Republic will regain the presidency to rise up this Country as the Founding Fathers planned it to be

 
 

We mustn’t make fun or call these guys trolls any more. They’re completely correct and it’s just lucky the lefties have had the error of their ways pointed out before any further disasters occurred. Anybody to the left of Hitchens is suspect. Don’t you all agree?

 
 

Fc th fcts lbs, bm s gng t g dwn n hstr s n trm lsr! Hs lgc wll g th w f Jmm Crtr. n bslt ttl flr nd dsgrc t r Grt Ntn! Th Dmcrts wll b cmplt nd ttrl dscrdtd s th prt f gng hpps, rc hsltrs, wlfr lchs, gvrnmnt ppr pshrs nd hmsxl dvnts.

 
 

When Orange Julius takes control of the House, North Korea will officially be proclaimed our ally so Sarah can be right!!!

Suck it libs.

 
 

I’ve found that a lycra strong suit doesn’t actually make a person stronger, it just makes everyone else so weak.

 
 

Face teh fact, “Steve”. Your QB sucks…

 
 

Steve real America tough talk has given this homosexual deviant a boner the founding fathers would be proud of.

 
 

Oh and btw libs, Bigfoot is real. And not in the sense that you stupid liberals claim as an anit-semitic slur against Israel. But Bigfoot is an actual ape, a relict gigantopithecus that has survived the last ice age and has remained hidden from civilization thanks to its low population density, high levels of intelligence and nocturnal hunting patterns.

 
 

Seriously? She wasted her Thanksgiving message to score cheap political points?

Great. The right wing of American politics is a band of Heathers…

 
 

His legacy will go the way of Jimmy Carter.

*whew*

I was worried he’d be compared to Bush…

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

The right wing of American politics is a band of Heathers…

Yeah, no doubt. Was she even wearing a flag lapel pin?

Must’ve been an IMPOSTOR (who then went on to haxx0r Super Sarah and write the angry Twitter followups.)

 
 

The Democrats will be complete and utterly discredited as the party of wogs, gypsies, Juden rats and homosexual deviants!

You’ve finally come up with a solution to the Democrat problem, eh? That’s nice.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I’ve found that a lycra strong suit doesn’t actually make a person stronger, it just makes everyone else so weak.

I! W? N?

 
 

You’ve finally come up with a solution to the Democrat problem, eh?

Finally

 
 

the Republic will regain the presidency to rise up this Country as the Founding Fathers planned it to be

Yes, I think you are absolutely right. After all, the Founding Fathers lived in a land where citizens traveled the countryside in horse-drawn wagons on dirt tracks, being held up by highwaymen at every crossroads; where white people could own black people and use them as farming tools; and where large numbers of children died in infancy each year. I am sure that after their inevitable return to power, the Republicans will continue their hard work towards a renaissance of this desirable state of affairs.

 
 

actually Im he 1 that doesnt suck ’cause it I Republican that love this land and the One True God that created the Heaven and Earth. I will be willing to protect both with my life. Not like yall guys that take thing for granted, want things and doesnt care fro what you have

 
 

I Republican that love this land and the One True God that created the Heaven and Earth. I will be willing to protect both with my life. JESUS AKBAR!

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Dressing for your word salad, Vick?

Piefilter.

 
 

Prsnll, ‘m spprtng Stv Kng fr Prsdnt nxt lctn. H s tr Cnsrvtv wh wll scr r Ntn’s brdrs, dprt th llgl lns, dfnd mrc’s Trdtnl Chrstn vls, lwr txs, ct spndng, nd prtct r scnd mndmnt rghts. Th rn prpgnd hs bn prvn wrng yt gn ths lctn. Rpblcns D NT hv t mv t th cntr n rdr t bcm lctbl. thnk th Snt rcs n Wscnsn nd Nw Hmpshr st tht fllc strght nc nd fr ll. Rpblcns nl ls whn th tr nd pndr t th mdrts nd rn cntrst cnddts. Whn Rpblcns rn s Cnsrvtvs th wn. nd whn th gvrn s Cnsrvtvs th rmn n pwr. Jhn Bhnr hs pldgd t rmn fthfl t th T Prt whch pt th Rpblcns n pwr. f Rpbcns stck t thr gns y lbrls r fnshd.

 
 

Seriously? She wasted her Thanksgiving message to score cheap political points?

I suspect that is a false note of surprise in your voice. I have a hard time remembering anything she has not used, or indeed imagining anything she would not use to score cheap political points.

This is a woman who used her own son’s cognitive disability to score cheap political points. Is there any place lower she can go after that?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

or is that JanusNode?

 
 

Newborn babies are universally ugly.

You’ve got your choice: angry Winston Churchill or angry Nikita Khrushchev. Mini__B was more of a Nikita.

 
 

Yesterday my hubby turned on Fox

Isn’t that legitimate grounds for divorce?

 
 

Tagfail. I blame the sterile wipes.

 
 

I’m not a communist, I’m an anarchist…

Oh okay you got me. I’m an anarcho-communist. There, I’ve confessed it.

 
 

Hey, Steve, should we bookmark that?

 
 

If Repubicans stick to their guns you liberals are finished.

Sounds like we’re doomed. Until then, the only thing that’ll keep us going is our relentless need to corrupt America with our unspeakable leftist perversions.

 
 

the lamestream media to CRUCIFY me

You mis-spelled ‘crucifer‘.
The Great Gazoogle reports 109,000 results for “sarah palin crucify”, so it does appear that a lot of people are fond of the “right-wing politician = Jesus” equivalence.

 
 

If Repubicans stick to their guns

Inquiring minds are wondering how the guns became sticky.
No, I tell a lie, I don’t really want to know.

 
 

our relentless need to corrupt America with our unspeakable leftist perversions.

Ooo. Sounds like fun, fun, fun til our Daddy takes the T-Bird away.

 
 

I find that our perversions are speakable, but result in a very large credit card bill.

 
 

If Repubicans cling to their guns and religion it will prove Obama was wrong.

 
 

“TOMBSTONE.”

UN-VPR?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

If Repubicans stick to their guns you liberals are finished.

Remember, clinging to them isn’t the same as sticking to them.

 
 

“TOMBSTONE.”

UN-VPR?

It’s more of a VPPPR: veiled piss-poor pizza reference.

 
 

Un veiled? OMG, run for the hills! It’s the Monolithic Foreskin Holocaust!

 
 

OMG, run for the hills Jupiter! It’s the Monolithic Foreskin Holocaust!

Fiqqst for 9 years ago.

 
 

veiled piss-poor pizza reference

Heh heh.

It is available in several varieties, including pepperoni and sausage.

 
 

If Repubicans cling to their guns and religion

Some velcro could help with that.

 
 

Looks like Stv had his i’s put out. a, e, o and u’s as well.

I wonder if he’ll stick around and regale us with some more of his consonant rage. Hopefully he’ll hang abou tlong enough to read this.

Hey Steve! fckd yr mthr.

 
 

the Republic will regain the presidency to rise up this Country as the Founding Fathers planned it to be

Well let’s take a look at some important words from the Founding Fathers:

We the People (uhoh, that sounds socialist!) of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union (union? more socialism!), establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility (the Founding Fathers also founded NORML), provide for the common (socialism everywhere) defence, promote the general Welfare (now we’re getting downright communist!), and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Of course, it looks a little different in my kids new history textbook that comes from a Texas publisher:

We the CEOs of the United States, in Order to form a more profitable non-Union labor pool, establish conservative Justices, insure domestic Tranquility, provide commoners for our defence, promote our friends and family, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

 
 

If Repubicans stick to their guns you liberals are finished.

Superglue gives a pretty brittle, short-lived bond, and while rabbit skin glue gives a very strong bond it is not water-proof so the liberals will win as soon as it rains, so I think you really have to use hot glue. Use them to stick Ls back into your repubicans, too!

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I’m not sure why Republicans believe they can address this by becoming stupider and angrier, but you can bet that’s what they’re going to try.

 
 

I think I am going to vote for her in 2012. Every election I wonder if this is going to be the one that finally fucks this country completly. I am sick of the suspense, might as well vote for her and get it all over with. Invest in crossbow and leather futures everyone! Wheeeee!!!

 
 

I’m not sure why Republicans believe they can address this by becoming stupider and angrier…

It’s their only response to external stimuli.

Meanwhile, the geniuses in Palin’s comments section keep the hits coming:

i wish you were my mom sarah!
– – – – – – – – – –
She is the only hope we have left.
– – – – – – – – – –
I would vote for you to be our Queen~
– – – – – – – – – –
I hope you also do some research into the elitiest poisoning our food, water, …and air that we breath, because if this does not come out, the elitist will get their way, and depopulate the world, like the Rockefellers, Rothchild’s, Gates, etc., will destroy the entire world. I know Glenn Beck is somewhat knowledgeable about this…

 
 

I would vote for you to be our Queen~

Why does this person hate USA FREEDOM?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

the geniuses in Palin’s comments section keep the hits coming:

This all reminds me of something I saw early in the Web days, a page with a long and scathing criticism of one of the less-popular professional wrestling organizations. It described how the fans were simultaneously roaring homophobic manly-men and yet pawing at their male wrestler heroes, all sorts of things like that that showed their star-worship overruling whatever principles they claimed to have, time and again. The writer referred to the fans as “sexually confused, alcoholic plankton” and the phrase has been useful to me ever since.

 
 

I tried agreeing with them, but the trolls, they won’t take yes for an answer. Well, I guess it’s back to my dog-eared copy of Wage-Labor and Capital.

 
 

“sexually confused, alcoholic plankton” is genius. Shimmering, golden genius.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

“sexually confused, alcoholic plankton” is genius.

Indeed, I very much wish I could turn a phrase like that. Sadly, the original page has not been revealed to my puny mortal Google attempts.

 
 

i wish you were my mom sarah!

So does Q-Bert Trig.

 
 

Dragon dick is the bestest dick of all.

 
 

Me and Steve and vick and Le Donalde are having a good day.

 
 

Never mind that 75% of all pharmaceutical and medical innovation — which the bankrupt NHS and Canadian health care systems freeload upon — originate in the United States.

The fact is, you cant argue with this logic, libs.

 
 

[Citation Needed]

 
 

sexually confused, alcoholic plankton

Someone somewhere deserves a pitcher of martinis for this.

 
 

If Repubicans cling to their guns and religion it will prove Obama was wrong.

Man, this is perhaps the most subtle piece of win I’ve ever read here. Kudos, golf clap and martini to you, stranger.

 
 

i wish you were my mom sarah!

Trig! I told you to stop posting until Bristol’s flight lands!

 
 

If Repubicans stick to their guns you liberals are finished.

And if pigs could fly….

 
 

“sexually confused, alcoholic plankton”

This is a terrible thing to call Mr. Althouse!

OK, it’s accurate, but still…

 
Henrietta Pussycat
 

Meow meow Sarah Palin meow meow Good Day, meow.

Meow meow festering bowels meow meow Steve.

Meow meow DWK’s Moms, meow meow itchy.

 
 

The fact i, my citation is the internet, and the blog that is schooling you liberals on truth…

 
 

The fact is, here is the link to the fact I just quoted. Liberals never ues facts, they make them up. http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2010/11/sadly-no-economic-literates-at.html

 
 

“If Repubicans stick to their guns you liberals are finished.”

As someone else said, I don’t want to know why their guns are so sticky.

 
 

I hope you also do some research into the elitiest poisoning our food, water, …and air that we breath

See, that one right there is right on the border of “fascinating sociology project” and “really damned sad” because the elites are poisoning this guy’s good, water and air and Sarah Palin wants to help them do it faster.

The poster has correctly identified the problem, yet somehow completely incorrectly identified the perpetrators.

 
 

The fact is, here is the link to the fact I just quoted

Gary, that is not a “source”. A “source” has a name like “New England Journal of Medicine”, or “The Economist”, or “DKW’s Mom”. Linking to your buddy’s (or your own) blog doesn’t count.

 
 

A couple things:

Steve’s Mom? You don’t need to share this piece of information here. Save it for when you meet Scarlett Johansson and your Bridge Club.

Secondly, Mr. Ruppert? The fact is A-HEM.

 
 

Uh – that part about your Bridge Club is just between Steve’s Mom and me (and her Bridge Club).

 
 

“Gary, that is not a “source”. A “source” has a name like “New England Journal of Medicine”, or “The Economist”, or “DKW’s mom”

I giggled. Oh yes.

 
 

Also, I shudder to think of the things she’s expert in.

 
 

The fact is, real Americans have abondoned sinful science but we’ll still take credit for the evil college-educated Jews elitists on the coasts discovering medicines and superconducktapes and other deviltry.

 
 

Wait. Did I just A-Hem Ruppert? WTF is happening to me?

The fact is if you love the minorities and the gays so much you should Leave America and gay-up Mexico. Us decent folk in the Hearland don’t want any of your gay minority stuff getting on our childrens and womens.

 
 

I CALL FAKE GARY!!! The real Gary would have said “books, I’ve had enough of your tricks.” JUGGALO EMPIRE!!!!

 
 

The fact is, you liberals have not refudiated my argument. I have provided a fact and you dismis the source, which is pure liberal bias and realty hate. You have provided no facts to counter it, so I win the debate.

 
 

I WIN! I DECLARE MYSELF WINNER! I DECLARE PALIN PRESIDENT! SUCK ON IT LIBS!

 
 

I have absolutely nothing against realty. It’s how I stay protected from the elements.

 
 

” SUCK ON IT LIBS!”

I’ll need some tweezers and a magnifying glass.

 
 

It’s how I stay protected from the elements.

Let’s see your split-level ranch protect you from the power of YTTERBIUM!

 
 

The fact is no one likes your Kanyin Socielest or you’re capping trade. You can’t capping trade, its against the free market which is USA strength number two right after the right to bare arms.

 
 

The fact is, refudiate and dismis are perfectly cromulent words.

 
 

The fact is you are a fake Ruppert because real American shate bare arms at least when they belong to Obama’s wookie gorrila wife.

(The fact also is that you libs are the real raciests.)

 
 

The fact is no liberals get guns because secondamendment is Right to bare arms not Left to bare arms and when we decent God peoples to have all the guns and you gay minorites have none then we can Democracy and Freedom whoever we want to President and you can’t say anything.

 
 

Wait. Did I just A-Hem Ruppert? WTF is happening to me?

Gary’s mom?

 
 

when i wurz fifeen yars of age i sawr the Eusa show man bring out thy littar puppet off thy granmar wif glasses and she wuz a-waving arount and screechin in thy littar voice “OH WE MUS NUKE SOUTH KORAR YUBECHA”

 
 

Gary, when 800 years old you reach speak as well as I you will not.

 
 

The fact is you are all anti-cementic because you hate Israel which is the same as hating the USA Freedom and means you are the terrorists just like Bin Laydin. The fact is you are too gay as well and minorities. Gay minorities. With the exotic darker skin and coarse hair and also you smell a lot like all the gays. And you aren’t small and pale like the white guys I know, but swarthy and earthy and besides the guys I know aren’t fagets like you all are. And you hate Israel. And are fagets that looks different and smell. Mmmmm. And the fact is.

 
 

Gary’s mom?

Do not, under any circumstances, repeat that three times in front of a mirror.

 
 

The fact is TOTES HETEROSEXUALLY! IM NOT GAY!

 
 

TOTES HETEROSEXUALLY

Bullshit. He-men haul, hoist, and drag. Girly-men tote.

 
 

The fact is you are the gay one BN__ With you’re gay engneering and gay buildings and gay double underscores.

 
 

gay engneering

How else would the Enola Gay remain airborne?

 
 

How else would the Enola Gay remain airborne?

The power of JUSES, obviously.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

How else would the Enola Gay remain airborne?

Just FYI – in the new round of Texas textbooks, the airplane that dropped the bomb is called the Enola Macho.

 
 

“Let’s see your split-level ranch protect you from the power of YTTERBIUM!”

You naive bastard. I keep my ranch a toasty 1600 degrees. Anything made of ytterbium will just melt and slide off.

 
 

the Enola Macho.

I had one of those for lunch, with extra cheese.

 
 

I keep my ranch a toasty 1600 degrees.

Oh, do you live in central Texas?

 
 

I have absolutely nothing against realty. It’s how I stay protected from the elements.

You could thank an architect.

Let’s see your split-level ranch protect you from the power of YTTERBIUM!

The fact is, I have made YTTERBIUM-resistant construction a centerpiece of my practice. You might be surprised at how little most clients value that.

 
 

“Gary Ruppert said,
November 27, 2010 at 2:28

The fact is, refudiate and dismis are perfectly cromulent words.”

I literally LOLed.

Also, isn’t that a W&G reference?

 
 

Simpsons, not W&G.

 
 

Split-level ranch houses are ANTI-CEMENTIC.

 
 

“You could thank an architect”

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them. Realtors are more receptive.

 
 

“N__B said,
November 27, 2010 at 2:50

Simpsons, not W&G”

I’d be embarrassed if it were important enough to be embarrassed over.

 
 

“gng hpps, rc hsltrs, wlfr lchs, gvrnmnt ppr pshrs nd hmsxl dvnts.”

Going hopps and halters, welfares Ichies gymnast paper pushers need homosexual deviants

Boy I love those find the consonant games. Steve where do you need these homosexual deviant gymnast paper pushers for your hopps and halters welfare Iches?

Actually now that I think of it, isn’t that code for a meeting of unemployed Chuck Norris movie producers, actors and fans?

No no! I get it! Its a Wingnut pundit convention meeting!

 
 

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them. Realtors are more receptive.

Dammit, I knew I was in the wrong line of work.

 
 

I can decode wingnut drivel! I got the powah!

 
 

The fact also is that you libs are the real raciests.

That’s true. We’re about as racy as can be.

 
 

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them.

you need to find a better cheaper class of architect.

 
 

you need to find a better cheaper class of architect.

fucking strikethroughs, how do they work?

Just read that to imply that I am a total cheap whore architect, who is more than happy to prostitute zombieself, as long as the checks clear..

 
 

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them.

Also, I need better clients.

 
 

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them.

A journey of a thousand ass-squeezing tongue kisses begins with a single architect.

 
 

The fact is, I Can See Pyongyang From My Porch was part of The Vagina Monologues.

 
 

The fact is, I have made YTTERBIUM-resistant construction a centerpiece of my practice. You might be surprised at how little most clients value that.

There was something very Mike Brady about that comment.

 
 

There was something very Mike Brady about that comment.

Dang. I was going for Elyse Keaton.

 
 

“Dang. I was going for Elyse Keaton.”

Oh my. That was well-played.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Dang. I was going for Elyse Keaton.

Mike Brady ain’t bad, though. Coulda sounded like Howard Roark.

 
 

“The fact is, I Can See Pyongyang From My Porch was part of The Vagina Monologues.”

Never cared much for ventriliquist acts.
h/t Bill Maher

 
 

“Dang. I was going for Elyse Keaton.”

Oh my. That was well-played.

Yeah, but maybe not iconic enough. After all, Elyse Keaton is more known to most these days as starring in those all-day Meridith Baxter-Birney-athons on Lifetime and being a celebrity lesbian.

Mike Brady will always be known for being Mike Brady.

 
 

I assumed vs was applauding the construction “for Elyse” for its Beethovenian connotations. Otherwise I couldn’t figure out what Mrs. Keaton had to do with Ytterbium.

 
 

I still believe that the ticki doll was good luck. It saved Greg from drowning and Peter from getting bitten by that tarantula.

 
 

Hmpf. I refused to go for the Wilbur Post reference.

Coulda sounded like Howard Roark.

Not with my prior comment about being willing to do anything for a check.

 
 

Sick confession: I once watched A Very Brady Christmas just to see if Robert Reed looked ill.

 
 

Sick confession: I once watched A Very Brady Christmas just to see if Robert Reed looked ill.

Gary Cole had a rough time filling those shoes.

Or, if you are familiar with the MST3K treatment of Boodlust, he had a rough time filling out that tight t-shirt. “You can see his spleen!”

 
 

Best MST3K line of all time..

“Apparently the plot is none of our business.”

Ass-squeezing and tongue-kissing for the person who can name the movie.

 
 

“Apparently the plot is none of our business.”

Not off the top of my head, but I’m thinking it was a Bert I. Gordon flicktoon.

 
 

Think about this while I go and reheat my beans.

 
 

I could, but most if them dont like it when I squeeze their asses and enthusiastically tongue-kiss them.

Most people hesitate to receive the Rusty Trombone before the second date, or business transaction. Whichever.

 
 

Conservatrolls -all Sarah-liking conservatives- argue just like the idiots on “Ancient Aliens”. Kinda like this:

“This 100-Ton square stone (obviously moved by Ancient Peoples) could not have been moved by Ancient Peoples, they were too primitive! Only God or Aliens could have moved this 100 ton stone, and since its unlikely God moved it, then Aliens must have moved the rock.”

What’s wrong with this argument?

 
 

What’s wrong with this argument?

*raises hand*

Er, “nothing?”

What do I win?

 
 

Steve, you ignorant slut! Of course gigantopithecus survived the ice age! The fossils that were found were found in the mountains of southern China, near the border with Vietnam. Not quite glacier country, even when the northern ice cap came south. Also, too, the ape of which you speak seems to be spotted in the highest, coldest parts of the Himalayas, and in Alaska, too, so it may well be possible that this species just doesn’t give a fuck about winter. There isn’t enough data to know where it came from or where it migrated to. Having only fossils from China, then, best guess is, it started there and came here at some point. Leave it at that. We can’t even say “Bering Land bridge 10,000 years ago”, because we don’t know when it got here. And the fuckers can swim, too.

 
 

Aliens can’t even unionize the tomato pickers, what makes you think they could have moved that 100 ton stone?

 
 

why wouldn’t God move the rock, eh? Probably the rock was for a temple or tomb, and God likes temples and tombs. Aliens don’t. Everyone knows that.

 
 

Maybe God created a rock that was so big that even he couldn’t lift it. Did you consider that!

 
 

why wouldn’t God move the rock, eh?

He’s testing us. If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Ass-squeezing and tongue-kissing for the person who can name the movie.

Girl in Gold Boots?

 
 

#

Riddley Ruppert said,

November 27, 2010 at 2:34

when i wurz fifeen yars of age i sawr the Eusa show man bring out thy littar puppet off thy granmar wif glasses and she wuz a-waving arount and screechin in thy littar voice “OH WE MUS NUKE SOUTH KORAR YUBECHA”

I laughed so hard a tiny poo came out.

 
 

So God didn’t create aliens? I thought God created everything.

How could God fearing peoples go and be so unfaithful as to believe in Aliens instead of God?

 
 

I laughed so hard a tiny poo came out.

Post thanksgiving ejection?

 
 

Of course, the paragraph above is based on a series of misstatements and verbal gaffes made by Barack Obama

How nice that Sarah Palin’s Thanksgiving message to the nation was [paraphrased] “Let me make up some shit about that boy that didn’t ask me out to the prom last year cuz what I said he did is totally worse than what that bitch in study hall said I did. I mean, what I said was rilly as stoopid as what that bitch said it was. Rilly.”

Nice way to celebrate the holiday.

 
 

Nice way to celebrate the holiday.

I wonder how long she spent hunting up “verbal gaffes” and pasting them together into a sloppy word salad that sounds more like the sort of crap she says on a regular basis than anything. And don’t you know she’ll be nursing the butthurt long after all this is forgotten by everyone else.

 
 

I doubt it tigris. She’s sacrificed her children for her cause, her husband, her elected position, embarrassed herself in front of turkeys slaughtered live, stepped on her tongue repeatedly, defended preachers who call on witches, been proud to not read anything.

I don’t think there’s a hurt in her anywhere.

 
 

I dunno, she’s so thin-skinned and such a grudge-holder I figure she nurses wounds like favorite children.

 
 

I dunno, I see her as shrill and controlling. There are a million people just like her, just as vapid and self centered, but she’s the one that’s got the spotlight on her.

Which is why so many like her of course; she is just like them. When the neighbors piss her off by not inviting her daughter to the birthday party she stands out on the front lawn and spews invectives at them that everyone can hear. She’s that person.

She has no shame. She may be thin-skinned, but she’s thick headed and also has an appetite for attention so big that she’ll probably eventually do mud wrestling or a spread in Penthouse just to keep her name in the papers.

Or maybe she’ll have Bristol do that, I dunno, she controls alla them too you know.

 
 

she’ll probably eventually do mud wrestling or a spread in Penthouse just to keep her name in the papers. [] Or maybe she’ll have Bristol do that,

I can’t wait! No, no, not to see her junk, but anything to have her out of politics.

 
 

I was hoping that the Great Palin Turkey Masacree would become a yearly tradition. Sadlly No!

 
 

Er, there was a profile of her in Vanity Fair a month or three back, yes, she’s a huge grudge-holder and vengeance-getter ,and folks in Wasilla are scared of her.

 
 

The Lenigrad Cowboys!

 
 

If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

Living proof that He loves us and wants to see us happy?

Oh, wait. that’s beer.

Eh. Close enough.

 
 

Maybe God hates the over use of commas and wants us to fuck more.

 
 

Since we’re in the wee thread-killing hours, did any of you guys catch this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/40363267#40363267

Levi takes on the big questions from the Kouric-Palin interview. Shocker: Alaskan Republican doesn’t accept AGW theory.

 
 

I totes get North America and South America mixed up.. Confooz!

 
 

“Girl in Gold Boots?”

Woot–you got it.

 
 

Mozart:

“Maybe God hates the over use of commas and wants us to fuck more”

Listen, to, me, I use commas, because, I do like them, and I speak like Walter Cronkite, or James, Earl, Jones, with, long, pauses …… for empahsis and to, create, meaning.

If that gets me, laid, more, then, I’m on, it.

 
 

OT: I just found the most redonk holiday wrapping paper. If you’re into that sort of thing, check this out.

 
 

Dammit, I got my hopes up for a second… I opened C&L, S,N!, and Common Dreams in tabs, and then when I closed Common Dreams (too treesnuggly today) I thought C&L had picked up the Sarah Palin Facebook rant… in full snark! Woot!

Alas, it took only seconds for the coffee to kick in and the S,N! banner at the top of the page to assert itself upon my visual cortex.

(Hey, its still 7:30 am on the Blue Coast.)

 
 

I totes get North America and South America mixed up.. Confooz!

We’re the banana republic.

 
 

vacuumslayer: what is the target date for S,N! to agree on a name for the wee bebe? We should be coming up with ideas, yes?

 
 

Bam!

Orville Adina
Aliseyoy Emeline
Jedo
Counterexamples Perturb-Reselected
Dispensed London
Decenciesbicre Multiplicands
Jotkarla Thea-Stonehenge
Rickie Het
Commander Preassigned Fermented
Mahjerrold Glow-Quell
Fomlee Freedom
Islamic-Hammered
Yupltaunya Lethal -Pool
Tenishamopo Eyeglass-Bewitches
Jama
Prevailinglykout Hostility-Regrouped
Unnamedshepr Goyweyay
Nataliachu Kylie
Natacha Woyonaye
Nolhoypyupl
Apolonia Marvel
Symphonic Joust
Viprwituhcee
Qua
Trang-Dagmar Tonie
Kristi Ying
Nicl Meant-Sleigh
Wei Marget
Aubrey Cope
Discouraged Fogtooro
Dung
Githetjo Pastimes-Educator
La Nativity
Fawejotmarafe Soila
Raphaelzimo Sussex
Raelene Takisha
Dayletu Vouchutvoyfwi
Formatively Harlan
Kathlyn-Berniece Ossie
Warburton Checkout
Efrain
Parochial Croutkunsoce
Aunt Door Rebates
Dalene
Ellyn Quayroklal
Lieutenant Colonel Xob
Nyla Bravery
Lozvouvjaye Rayfluh
Clare-An Payable
Dillon
Inordinately
Tatum Kleque
Margy Truman
Timonizes Rubaiyat
Sheryl-Patrica Numerous
Dajocli
Quougbritni Cecilia
Wepl Doris
Natasha Overcame
Driersfom Jacr
christinweequ Shawl
Segmenting Dayt
Reverend Huhoshannan Jeeklof
Pei
Croutdoc Tugjazooch
Commentators Sage-Fraser
Quayrostatistics Kowquah
Vice Chancellor Jeeshood
Vanessahi Predictions-Jody
YiseMao Misjudged-Railway
Larvae Bashsof
Thooquzoys
Neprwe Compel
Sikawareness Negating-Compare
Istvan Tighteners
Brokenness
Thokjafavthen Jouvay
Cidowoyxyix Shrieked
Poycblackbirds Rockabye
General Downcast
Queerelics Cledojaytheklcroyle
Loria Boulevard
Kayshotatyana Yeewoquadodlou
Noma Cesclu
Ayesha Unraveling
Gaoverwhelm Expedite
Portaltuth Kleesjoonayk
Diana Daron
Kliqucalculate Producers
Uglier Gasser
Eldonhuho Roger
Yaysalivary Paboymcixay
Dorris Lizzie
Periphery Sush likapree
Berna-Shira Dounpoobzife
Terina Tartly
Leslie
Suwfag Sterilization
Sonabiv Would-Grieved
Sienani Nepr thomeyo
Milissa

 
 

SMcG, you are fabulous.

 
 

Should I be concerned that I like some of Subby’s names?

Lark, I’m always open to suggestions…and like all sorts of names…but hubby literally vetoes a good 98% of my choices. Sooooo….good luck everybody.

 
 

If he vetoes 98% of your choices you just need more choices.

Hitleritequoug Swede-Accolades
Wee Shitdam
Hoosier Kumouynogo
Vee
Alysecay Bonita
Dike Kabe
Apple Involuntary-Pungent
Xobcanonicalizing Gradient
Sparrow Laveta
Tessie Marcell
Yieveline Armor-Diagnosis
Mimickingzu Chassidy
Staff Sergeant Giydoybgoo
Louann Shanell
Weequrid Sush
Belen-Katerine Clokl
Sheprservers Defraud-Switchboards
Cortneyclee Fugitives-Disguises
Aprilsdoun Affect-GOTOs
Mo Responsively
Executiveboy Subschemas-arraignment
Coojclocrhoono Leonia
Sharleen Tensing
Lance Corporal Roumeyodep Vayp
Kimberley Browsing
Yupreroysmitsov Luisa
Mee
Misjudged Yeewoclured
Reentrantweej Poycpri
Saintlysam Gema
Bolivian
Foj Ozell
Fredricka Bettyann
Replicas Touwtigeyise
State Senator Keilaprem Coors-Granularity
Jacqulyn Mefbas
Maxima Duquayrocluco
Maribel-Hans Would-Bowling
Successor-Interning
Piwaspirins Repairing-Deduce
Jarred
Twila Candance
Fecowning Mounter
Lettie Cristy
Taxpayer
Jusehayj Moral
Tomoko-Tracie Shefobe
Tigeklothdocr Intervened
Elodia Malfunctions
Fallibility Demolished-Audiologists
Kenisha-Fiona Shisdute
Solprayzousplish Quote
Cidmilly Nijeh
Brazed Stomaching
Mrs. Seecplouprem
Cyrstal Copiousness-Delivers
Cammiefec Kihdoyxvou
Ple taypzagtee Daimler
Leifdou Intimate-Horrifies
Jaytrid Cone
Merlinhaf Zeroing
Newsmen Willard
Mortal Brittny
Sterlingkooch Kittie
Jackets Thooqudatig
Capitalize
Jondekbi Hempstead
Liliana Totallers-Assessor
Verda Delia
Celsa Raved-Profession
Fermin
Wichluhwib Blanks-Bandits
Theaters Fechutprimegizo
Otilia-Nadia Simpleton
Joypli Hitshoomeefethu
Oneselfgiy Yaglefjoyweves
PeebKalmuk reunite-Ventilated
Glendora
Vegetarians Zonia
Sadye Eastbound
Twitter-Vertebrate
Pekl Frontal
Kellysharo Deraqurusjih
Chang Heebwoh
Plaquwoyrpig Lavern
Captain Melodie-Erwin Sheprshishoylroym
Koow Earle
Forgivenvequ Wrest
Soila
Vohchu Alvina
Gourd Crith
Kiara-Erasmo Cheri
Paddy-Twitching
Boltoucr Alethea
Great Grandpa Chauncey
Sheprzella Hilary
Kleescecilia Enriqueta
Dapleeh Pricilla
Appalling
Diklepastors Trista
Indians Beaus

 
 

I dunno, she’s so thin-skinned and such a grudge-holder I figure she nurses wounds like favorite children.

Here’s the thing about little Sarah. What makes her so butthurt is that so many people (i.e. the vast majority) don’t take her seriously. They point and laugh, and this drives her insane. What she wants from those who do not support her cult of personality explicitly, is for them to just nod their heads and appreciate the home-spun, down-to-earth “wisdom” of her inane word-babble. She doesn’t care if her detractors don’t LIKE her, as long as the RESPECT her.

This is why Sadly, No! provides such a valuable service. Laughter is the only weapon that actually induces the butthurt in these wingnut idiots. Genuine persecution is a badge of honor. Reasoned argument makes a quick journey in one ear and out the other, leaving only a puzzled look behind, followed by, “oh yeah! but… Reagan! U-S-A!”

But as Mark Twain said, “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

 
 

New thread! –>

 
 

You haters drive me crazy. Sarah Palin is the most honest and most real American patriot living anywhere on this or any other planet. The persecution she feels is real, because you send her daughter talcum powder just because you want people to blame liberals for hating. Hate, hate, and more hate, that is all that your criticism is about. This woman is so much like us it’s down right frightening. Sarah Palin is as much a symbol of the feminist struggle as George W. Bush is proof that rehab through rebirth works every time, unless you are too stupid to know important people who teach you what to say when you are caught being a sinning asshole.

Jesus saves, God Bless All of Y’all, and remember you can’t be a saint unless you are persecuted properly with advertising and big bucks from the big dicks. Glory Be and Sarah is the highest. May dishonesty, fake popularity, and your talent for mendacity carry you through all the trials and tribulations of a life poorly lived. Amen.

One can get away with saying the dumbest things as long as one finishes with a reference to god blessing something or other. Oh, and don’t forget to mention the troops. “The troops” can buy one tons of free media. Try to bring some “troops” to one’s next special occasion whether it is a lowly book burning, a rant against the foreign born president, or an interview with a sycophant on FOX. Always remember the U.S. is at war with Mexico, and that poor Mexicans are fascists who disease and stolen most everything that real Americans care about. Guns. Bibles. Being bf’d without petroleum jelly.

God Bless You, and God Bless America Only, (the rest of y’all can go fudge yourself with someone else’s tolerance, and forget about acceptance.

Amen, peoples.
The Divided States of Confederacy and No Taxes
The Fish Symbol Saves
Honk if you like “2” New panthers with right wing stereotypical talking points to scare Whitey. They are so stupid they say things that even Klan members would not say in public.

 
 

VS, the unofficial Mrs. sends these along for your consideration. Beg pardon that they are relatively late; inspiration striketh not in accordance with our mundane terrestrial clockworks, but when it will.

Communo Hygiene
Verda Gris-Gris
Plastomyalgia
Retro Sen-Sen

(And thank you for the laugh with “Apparently, the plot is none of our business.”)

 
 

I know…it’s unbelievably funny. Those guys never fail to deliver thelulz.

Tell your better half thanks!

 
 

Sarah Palin is the most honest and most real American patriot living anywhere on this or any other planet.

Personally, I’d be quite happy to retire the title of “Greatest American on Jupiter” to her.

 
 

Tintin? Are you really my wife? My wife just made the “I can see Pyongyang from my porch” joke this weekend … if you are not she, you owe my wife a coke.

 
 

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