WWJK?


ABOVE: Bryan Fischer (left), Not Bryan Fischer (right)

Shorter Bryan Fischer, Rightly Concerned
The Feminization of the Medal of Honor

  • Jesus says giving the Medal of Honor to soldiers like Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta for saving people rather than killing them is gay.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 323

 
 
 

Because honor and femaleness are mutually exclusive, of course.

As are honor and blackness, honor and liberalness, and honor and gayness. Also.

 
 

Jesus died on the cross in order to kill several insurgents at once, I guess?

I got off the boat and it was worse.

 
 

I’d stay the hell away from the original article, but the (100% negative) comments are worth looking at.

 
 

He keeps using that word, “Christian.”

I do not think it means what he thinks it does.

 
Jesus H. Christ, Bryan Fischer's Personal Lord and Savior
 

I would give the Medal of Honor to a soldier who fragged a killer whale.

 
 

Whatta maroon. Soldiers, sailors, marines (even airmen, a little) are supposed to go out to kill & break things. It’s their job. No one deserves a bonus for showing up at work every day & working.

Since the standards for awarding the MOH have tightened up, it’s almost exclusively given to people who have placed their lives in great peril (& usually lost said lives) to save their fellow troops, by rolling on a hand grenade, holding the fort while others escaped & other such brave (though ultimately foolish) acts. Maybe Fischer should read some history. Or Wikipedia. Or just pull his homophobic head out of his ass.

Seriously, what does he want? Improved body counts so medals will go to the most “deserving?” Maybe a system in which medals are handed out to those w/ the most, shall we say, “souvenirs?” Scalps might be good, that’s a fine old American tradition.

Also, & OT, Tammy Bruce opens her keyboard again. Yeesh.

 
 

Bryan Fischer has an undergraduate degree in philosophy from Stanford University, and a graduate degree in theology from Dallas Theological Seminary. He served on the staff of Cole Community Church in Boise, where he founded the Cole Center for Biblical Studies and served as its director for 13 years. He then founded Community Church of the Valley, where he served as senior pastor for 12 years. Prior to joining the leadership team at American Family Association, Bryan served as Executive Director of the Idaho Values Alliance which was the state affiliate of the AFA.

Pussy.

 
 

Is there an award for soldiers who creatively use their medal of honor to slaughter insane fundamentalist preachers?

 
 

Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!

Oh, you’re so fucking right, you damned dirty robot. Except you haven’t posted it!

So fuck you & the FedEx truck you were shipped on!

 
 

I’m starting to feel like Larkspur.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Idaho Values Alliance

Infamous potatoes needn’t apply.

 
Physical Educator NIck Saban
 

Idaho Values Alliance

Their softball games against the Idaho Satan Worshippers and Pig Fuckers Consortium are the stuff of legend.

 
 

We have feminized the Medal of Honor.

Other awards that have been feminized:

Wal-Mart Auto Center Employee of the Month

The Masonic Goose and Gridiron Lodge Certificate of Appreciation

Third-Place Trophy, Starlight Lanes Senior Division Bowling

The People’s Choice Award

Lifetime Achievement Award, the American Tap Dance Foundation

“I’m No. 1” Paper Crown, Neshoba County Fair Pie-Eating Contest

Pabst Blue Ribbon

 
 

More awards that have been feminized:

Westminster Dog Show Best in Show

Comic’s Code Authority Seal of Approval

BSA Reptile and Amphibian Study Merit Badge

The National Turf Association Loving Cup Trophy Stuck on Lucy Ricardo’s Head

The AVN Award for Best Non-Sex Performance

Mayor McCheese’s Key to the City of McDonaldland

The Heisman Trophy

 
 

Is that “Who Would Juses Kill?’ or “Who Wouldn’t Juses Kill?”

 
 

When we think of heroism in battle, we used the think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe do Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

It looks the editorial we has been watching too many WW II movies. There really isn’t anything to “storm” in Afghanistan, is there? I can picture someone single-handedly “storming” a cave, and it ain’t pretty. Besides, most of the “storming”, bombing, grenading, etc. is sort of a group activity. Why he thinks risking your life to save a fellow soldier is “feminized” is beyond me. Sounds like he would give the highest honor to a nuclear suicide bomber. What a yutz.

 
 

we used the think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe do Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

I think of none of these things, but Mr Fischer is entitled to his sexual fantasies as much as the next sick little pervert.

 
 

Even more awards that have been feminized:

“World’s Greatest Dad” mug, Ed Strothers, Jackson, MS

New Jersey Online Traffic School Certificate of Completion

Honorary Degree of Th.D (Doctor of Thinkology) by authority of the Universitatus Committeatum E Pluribus Unum

 
 

we used to think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe do Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

Wars ain’t like that any more, which is probably a good thing on the whole.

 
 

Methinks someone has watched too many 1980s action movies. According the Wikipedia, the Medal of Honor is awarded to those who distinguish themselves
“conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States.” Also in Wikipedia, one can peruse the list of World War II recipients of the Medal of Honor, and find that only three medals have been awarded to participants in the invasion of Normandy. In fact, most of the World War II medals have been awarded to soldiers who saved their comrades. But I suppose reading is harder than blathering about Colossians 69 or whatever.

 
 

Why haven’t any of those pussy soldiers killed people WITH their medals of honor, hmmm? They all just take ’em and run. Pussies.

 
 

When we think of heroism in battle, we used the think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe do Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

Medal of Honor action

Shortly after nightfall on October 25, 2007, rifle team leader Giunta and the rest of the seven troops of 1st Platoon had just finished a day-long overwatch of 2nd and 3rd Platoon in the valley below. Although dark, there was sufficient moonlight that night vision equipment was not needed. They were returning to Combat Outpost Vimot and Korengal Outpost. They walked about 10 to 15 yards (9.1–14 m) apart among the holly forests, along the Gatigal Spur of Honcho Hill at about 2,438 metres (7,999 ft) elevation.

Within 50 to 100 metres of leaving their position, 10 to 15 insurgents suddenly ambushed the main body of the squad from cover and concealment only about 10 metres (33 ft) away, so near that the Apaches overhead could not provide close air support. The enemy was armed with AK-47 assault rifles, 10 Rocket-propelled grenade launchers and three belt-fed PKM machine guns. They fired an unusually high proportion of tracer rounds. Giunta described it later:
“There were more bullets in the air than stars in the sky. A wall of bullets at every one at the same time with one crack and then a million other cracks afterwards. They’re above you, in front of you, behind you, below you. They’re hitting in the dirt early. They’re going over your head. Just all over the place. They were close as close as I’ve ever seen.

Ambush on October 25
The ambush was initiated with intense RPG and PKM fire
Giunta’s squad used grenades to suppress enemy fire

Sergeant Joshua Brennan, leader of alpha team, was walking point. He was followed by SPC Frank Eckrode, squad leader Erick Gallardo, and then Giunta, who was then a specialist. PFC Kaleb Casey and Garret Clary followed Giunta. A Headquarters (HQ) unit led by Lt. Brad Winn, including an engineer, medic, and supporting troops along with a nurse who volunteered for the mission, followed immediately behind them. When the enemy opened fire, Brennan was struck by at least six rounds and Eckrode was also immediately wounded. Gallardo attempted to sprint forward, but twenty or thirty RPGs exploded among the trees. Combined with the heavy small arms fire, he turned back to find Giunta’s bravo team. While moving back he was struck in the helmet by an AK-47 round and fell.
An RPG round struck very near Giunta, who was returning fire and directing bravo team from a small defilade.

Giunta saw Gallardo take the bullet to his head and fall. Assuming he’d been shot, Giunta rose and ran through the intense “wall of fire” to Gallardo’s side. As he helped the sergeant find cover, the ceramic plate in the front of Giunta’s protective vest was struck by a bullet. Another round struck the AT4 (a single-shot recoilless smoothbore weapon) slung over his left shoulder. Giunta recognized that the extremely heavy tracer fire was coming not just from his west but from the north as well, a classic L-shaped ambush that threatened to roll over the squad. He ordered Casey and Clary to pull back a few steps to prevent the enemy from flanking them. Casey was firing his M-249 Squad Automatic Weapon cyclic and Clary was filing his gun as well.

The platoon commander in the HQ unit, Lieutenant Brad Winn, radioed Captain Kearney to advise him that their unit had five wounded men. The squad’s medic, Specialist Hugo Mendoza, was among them. He had been shot through the femoral artery at the beginning of the ambush and died. Kearney ordered Second Platoon to assist Winn’s platoon, but Second Platoon was in the valley below, some distance away, and had to first cross a river to reach them.

Giunta and Gallardo gathered Casey and Clary. They were pinned down by the concentrated enemy small arms and machine gun fire from a number of positions at close range. Less than 15 seconds into the ambush, Giunta and his men acted to disrupt the attack. They alternated throwing volleys of fragmentation grenades towards the enemy about 15 metres (49 ft) to their west and moving forward. Firing Pfc. Casey’s M-249 and their other weapons, they advanced until they reached Eckrode. Shot twice in the leg, Eckrode was attempting to unjam his M249 SAW. Gallardo, who later received a Silver Star for his actions, dressed Eckrode’s wounds and called for MEDEVAC.

Giunta and Pfc. Clary, now aware that Brennan was not where they was expected to find him, continued to advance over the exposed, open ground of the ridge in the dark, looking for Brennan. The retreating enemy covered their rear with effective small arms fire but Giunta took the lead in pursuing them. He saw three individuals and then recognized that two of them were dragging Sgt. Brennan, one by the legs and one by his arms.Giunta pursued them, firing his M4 carbine as he ran, killing one (later identified as Mohammad Tali, considered a high-value target). Giunta wounded the second enemy, who dropped Brennan and fled. A Spectre AC130 gunship shortly afterward spotted an enemy with Brennan’s rucksack and killed him.

I ran through fire to see what was going on with [Brennan] and maybe we could hide behind the same rock and shoot together … He was still conscious. He was breathing. He was asking for morphine. I said, “You’ll get out and tell your hero stories,” and he was like, “I will, I will.”
After reaching Brennan, Giunta pulled him to cover, comforted him and examined him for wounds in the dark. Brennan had been shot several times in the legs, had a large shrapnel wound in his side, and his jaw had been shot away. The 2nd and 3rd Platoon arrived to reinforce their squad and render aid. Spc. Giunta continued to assist the medic and adjust security while they waited for evacuation.The ambush had lasted three minutes.[9] Later the next day, Brennan died while in surgery.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvatore_Giunta

You’re a shit-stain on the American Tapestry Fischer.

 
 

What Wyatt III said

 
 

You read what Giunta did, and you come to the conclusion the Medal of Honor is feminized. First, how insulting to women, as if women can’t be brave in battle. But just picture the movie of Giunta in your head. Now picture what Fischer sees in his head when he reads it. He’s insane.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Here’s another fucking pussy:

McGONAGLE, WILLIAM L.

Rank and organization: Captain (then Comdr.) U.S. Navy, U.S.S. Liberty (AGTR-5). place and date: International waters, Eastern Mediterranean, 8-9 June 1967. Entered service at: Thermal, Calif. Born: 19 November 1925, Wichita, Kans. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Sailing in international waters, the Liberty was attacked without warning by jet fighter aircraft and motor torpedo boats which inflicted many casualties among the crew and caused extreme damage to the ship. Although severely wounded during the first air attack, Capt. McGonagle remained at his battle station on the badly damaged bridge and, with full knowledge of the seriousness of his wounds, subordinated his own welfare to the safety and survival of his command. Steadfastly refusing any treatment which would take him away from his post, he calmly continued to exercise firm command of his ship. Despite continuous exposure to fire, he maneuvered his ship, directed its defense, supervised the control of flooding and fire, and saw to the care of the casualties. Capt. McGonagle’s extraordinary valor under these conditions inspired the surviving members of the Liberty’s crew, many of them seriously wounded, to heroic efforts to overcome the battle damage and keep the ship afloat. Subsequent to the attack, although in great pain and weak from the loss of blood, Captain McGonagle remained at his battle station and continued to command his ship for more than 17 hours. It was only after rendezvous with a U.S. destroyer that he relinquished personal control of the Liberty and permitted himself to be removed from the bridge. Even then, he refused much needed medical attention until convinced that the seriously wounded among his crew had been treated. Capt. McGonagle’s superb professionalism, courageous fighting spirit, and valiant leadership saved his ship and many lives. His actions sustain and enhance the finest traditions of the U.S. Naval Service. (Captain McGonagle earned the Medal of Honor for actions that took place in international waters in the Eastern Mediterranean rather than in Vietnam.)

NO KILLS NO REWARD

 
 

Wow, just wow. He’s so, what’s the word? christian. Yeah, that’s it.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

WEAK!!!

*McMAHON, THOMAS J.

Rank and organization: Specialist Fourth Class, U.S. Army, Company A, 2d Battalion, 1st Infantry, 196th Infantry Brigade, Americal Division. place and date: Quang Tin province, Republic of Vietnam, 19 March 1969. Entered service at: portland, Maine. Born: 24 June 1948, Washington, D.C. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Sp4c. McMahon distinguished himself while serving as medical aid man with Company A. When the lead elements of his company came under heavy fire from well-fortified enemy positions, 3 soldiers fell seriously wounded. Sp4c. McMahon, with complete disregard for his safety, left his covered position and ran through intense enemy fire to the side of 1 of the wounded, administered first aid and then carried him to safety. He returned through the hail of fire to the side of a second wounded man. Although painfully wounded by an exploding mortar round while returning the wounded man to a secure position, Sp4c. McMahon refused medical attention and heroically ran back through the heavy enemy fire toward his remaining wounded comrade. He fell mortally wounded before he could rescue the last man. Sp4c. McMahon’s undaunted concern for the welfare of his comrades at the cost of his life are in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflect great credit on himself, his unit, and the U.S. Army.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Korea had its share of dainty mewling women too:

Rank and organization: Captain U.S. Marine Corps, commanding officer, Company F, 2d Battalion 7th Marines, 1st Marine Division (Rein.). Place and date: Chosin Reservoir area, Korea, 28 November to 2 December 1950. Entered service at: West Liberty, Ky. Born: 30 November 1919, Dehart, Ky. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty as commanding officer of Company F in action against enemy aggressor forces. Assigned to defend a 3-mile mountain pass along the division’s main supply line and commanding the only route of approach in the march from Yudam-ni to Hagaru-ri, Capt. Barber took position with his battle-weary troops and, before nightfall, had dug in and set up a defense along the frozen, snow-covered hillside. When a force of estimated regimental strength savagely attacked during the night, inflicting heavy casualties and finally surrounding his position following a bitterly fought 7-hour conflict, Capt. Barber, after repulsing the enemy gave assurance that he could hold if supplied by airdrops and requested permission to stand fast when orders were received by radio to fight his way back to a relieving force after 2 reinforcing units had been driven back under fierce resistance in their attempts to reach the isolated troops. Aware that leaving the position would sever contact with the 8,000 marines trapped at Yudam-ni and jeopardize their chances of joining the 3,000 more awaiting their arrival in Hagaru-ri for the continued drive to the sea, he chose to risk loss of his command rather than sacrifice more men if the enemy seized control and forced a renewed battle to regain the position, or abandon his many wounded who were unable to walk. Although severely wounded in the leg in the early morning of the 29th, Capt. Barber continued to maintain personal control, often moving up and down the lines on a stretcher to direct the defense and consistently encouraging and inspiring his men to supreme efforts despite the staggering opposition. Waging desperate battle throughout 5 days and 6 nights of repeated onslaughts launched by the fanatical aggressors, he and his heroic command accounted for approximately 1,000 enemy dead in this epic stand in bitter subzero weather, and when the company was relieved only 82 of his original 220 men were able to walk away from the position so valiantly defended against insuperable odds. His profound faith and courage, great personal valor, and unwavering fortitude were decisive factors in the successful withdrawal of the division from the deathtrap in the Chosin Reservoir sector and reflect the highest credit upon Capt. Barber, his intrepid officers and men, and the U.S. Naval Service.

I hope they gave him a tampon in place of field dressings to soak up all the blood dripping from his vagina.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Honestly 10 minutes of scanning rolls of MoH winners and I find 3 from 2 wars that didn’t involve killing anyone. I would have been thrilled if Obama was breaking new ground by awarding the MoH for saving lives instead of ending them, but as usual wingnuts are just wrong about everything and incapable of using the google before opening their fat traps. I don’t usually get off on “what pisses off conservatives” but this is a good one and shows what awful people they actually are, so I will bask in their hatred.

 
 

TF, thanks for those.

I feel moved to point out that Jesus also recommended chucking false prophets into the river with rocks tied around their necks. I can recommend someone to start with.

 
 

Supply-side Jesus seems kinda lame compared to Neocon woody Jesus.

 
 

I swear to God, if I ever meet Bryan Fischer in person, I will kick his pussy ass. And then, when offered the AFA’s medal of honor, I will make Fischer eat it.

 
 

The preacher man sitting in his little cockpit at church feels the need to take a long, directed piss on the heads of dead men he isn’t qualified to give blowjobs to. I hope he sleeps well at night, after his man servant is finished feeding him quaaludes and fisting him with a steel dildo.

 
 

As a butch, plaid-wearing, man-hating feminist, I can’t tell you how much I love it when my gender is used as a insult. And not just an insult, but the ultimate insult. Like…being a woman is the absolutely worst thing you can be. Also, women are never strong or brave…I guess. Hey, thanks, Bryan. Now go fuck yourself…’cuz I can’t imagine a woman ever doing it.

 
 

I feel moved to point out that Jesus also recommended chucking false prophets into the river with rocks tied around their necks. I can recommend someone to start with.

Don’t remember that one. I do remember, “For the Prophet who shall presume to speak even a word in my name which I have not commanded him to speak, even that prophet shall surely die.”

A line that’s never far from my head when listening to self-worshipping religious right loons. These guys better hope there isn’t really a God.

 
 

BSA Reptile and Amphibian Study Merit Badge

Hey! My merit badge got sissified???

Jesus, time to start working that lever gun!
~

 
 

Because honor and femaleness are mutually exclusive, of course.

As are honor and blackness, honor and liberalness, and honor and gayness. Also.

Generally, they’ll honor the troops to their last breath, unless they’re gays, Muslims, illegal immigrants, liberals, or any soldier that’s gone against whatever the Will of the Party was at any particular time (e.g. soldiers who pointed out the Iraq war was a crock of shit).

With those few, very large caveats, conservatives honor the troops to their last breath.

 
 

A christer priest AND a chickenhawk? Scumbag hit the asshole lottery. As a veteran, I find all of these cheesedick punkass fuckboys disgusting and unworthy of inhabiting the same planet as those who would risk all for their right to spout off this lunacy and not suffer constant ass-whippings and degradation of a sexual nature. The bile raises in my craw when I hear of this sick shit. These worthless shitstains would be quick to denigrate me and my beliefs, all the while being unworthy to lay claim to their humanity. Numbskulls like this goaded us into the current meatgrinders of our youth and treasure. If the nation continues to degenerate into third-world madness, I hope this mutant dickhead, and others like him, decorate lamposts nationwide. Then my faith on justice will be redeemed. Maybe.

 
 

But how do you really feel about them, creature?

 
 

Considering how Fischer fetishizes the Medal of Honor and how he feels about homosexuality, shouldn’t he be happy with the feminization?

Also, too, the Medal of Honor is a five pointed star inside a circle. Where else have we seen that form of symbology before?

 
 

Getting out of the boat was worth it this time just to see the comments. Judging by their tone, Bryan Fisher will have to enter a blogger protection program.

 
 

I’m sure that manly man,Bryan Fischer, killed many in all those wars he fought from his keyboard and in his fantasies.

 
 

(Jesus defeated) “…the enemy of our souls”.

Let that one bake your noodle for a while.

 
 

I’ve killed several thousand terrorists (We call them “tangoes” in the killin’ biz) in Rainbow Six. Where the fuck’s my medal?

 
 

I’ve killed several thousand terrorists
Big deal. In X-wing versus TIE fighter I blew up a goddamn death star. And I destroy star destroyers like frat boys kill brain cells.

 
 

It takes a REAL man to love the troops enough to use them as political pawns and wank on about feminization of a medal he isn’t worthy to lay eyes upon.

Bryan:
1) Stop spelling your name like one of those weird foreigners
2) STFU.

 
 

Big deal. In X-wing versus TIE fighter I blew up a goddamn death star.

I don’t know man, I just keep having this image of a chick kissing her brother in one of those movies…

Nope, too femmy. No medal for you.

 
 

Maybe we should take Giunta’s Medal of Honour away, the guy’s clearly delusional. Here’s his take on the medal:

“I’m not at peace with that at all,” Giunta said. “In this job, I am only mediocre. I’m average….

And here’s what the hardware store on his chest looks like. Dude is twenty-five.

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

I still shake my head at the fact that this jackass thinks that rushing into a nest of your enemies to rescue another soldier, and then getting captured, AFTER you’ve just pulled your buddy out of the line of fire is somehow “sissified”…

 
 

I’m usually not one to whip out the “oh yeah, when did YOU serve” line because civilians can properly criticize the military, sure, but in this case I make an exception:

Bryan Fischer, I see on your resume some time on the staffs of various Six Flags Over Jesus megaboffochurches, and the usual pipeline of wingnut welfare, but I’m not seeing any time served. You might want to include it or, if you haven’t actually served a second, STFU.

 
 

As are honor and blackness

mmmmmmmmm, Honor and Blackness….

 
 

Even more awards that have been feminized:

Miss Subways

Miss Rheingold

 
 

More awards that have been feminized:

Westminster Dog Show Best in Show

That bitch!

 
 

I’m not sure if this will turn out to be the most farcical thing or the most tragic thing… (after K. Marx)

 
Who's that comin' up creepin'? Drive-by!
 

Speaking of suspiciously non-heteronormative army medals, I wonder what Pastor Fischer-of-Men (VCGSR*) thinks of the Army Service Ribbon? I’d ask about the color scheme, but I don’t think anyone’s supposed to tell me anything. It’s supposed to represent “the entire spectrum of military specialties in which officers and enlisted soldiers may enter”. Tee-hee.

*Veiled Christian Gay Sex Reference

 
 

It’s supposed to represent “the entire spectrum of military specialties in which officers and enlisted soldiers may enter”.

I’m sorry, my eyes are clouded…does that say “the entire rectum”?

 
 

Well I think we can all agree that the most feminized award is the Pan Asian Sex Workers League’s “Lifetime Achievement Award in the field of Female Impersonation”

 
 

I’m usually not one to whip out the “oh yeah, when did YOU serve” line because civilians can properly criticize the military, sure

No, but as usual, I like to hold people to their own standards. Every time a civilian criticizes the military, it’s the Repubs who pop up like a jack-in-the-box and yell “when did YOU serve?” So, right back at you, bitches.

 
 

It was comforting to find that while the domestic mangoes were in fact as rancid and full of rat poison as usual, the imported ones were nearly all of a variety that I found pleasing. The comment thread is a thing of beauty.

 
Physical Educator NIck Saban
 

I was going to try to make some kind of Suh/Heisman joke but the coffee’s not working yet so let me just say it warms my heart to see the broad spectrum of humanity that has taken the time to tell Bryan Fisher to eat shit and die in a fire over there.

You know what the hippies and the squares need to spend more time doing together? Punchin’ chickenhawks.

 
 

The cross represented a cosmic showdown between the forces of light and the forces of darkness, and our commanding general claimed the ultimate prize by defeating our unseen enemy and liberating an entire planet from his bondage.

Starring Ronald Reagan

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

This will ruin Guinta’s chance for the White House. Break out the bandaids!

 
 

I’d stay the hell away from the original article, but the (100% negative) comments are worth looking at

Oh God yes. I’ve never seen anyone flamed like that, and I’ve hung around this blog for years.

 
 

Heh heh. Best comment over there:

I’m trying really hard right now to remember why everyone hates Muslims.

 
 

I do have to make one observation about Fischer beyond the invective.

His attitude seems to pervade the right wing, which is why the Zadroga bill, which effectively calls the first responders and others who helped dig out the Trade Center site national heroes and assists them with their medical bills attributable to that rescue and recovery effort, languishes in Congress.

 
 

Hey Fischer, my phone has been ringing off the hook all morning. What the fuck kind of retarded bullshit did you say this time?

 
 

BTW, even if we wade into the crazy Rambo-Juses world of Bryan Fischer, he’s still WrN0g. Of the four MoH’s given out for Afghanistan, perhaps Jared Monti’s might meet Bryan’s description of being given without regard to kill count – but the other three?

Robert James Miller was cited for shooting the ever-loving crap outta people. That a bunch of people managed to not die because this psycho was running around in the open and blasting away with his squad automatic is incidental.

Michael Murphy led a squad of three other Navy SEALs against upwards of 200 insurgents through a two hour battle. The description of his heading out into the open to get a clear radio signal precedes the closing part on his citation – the one about shooting the ever-loving crap outta people, uh I mean engaging the enemy.

And Salvatore Giunta? Take it away Wonkette:

Just to be clear, Giunta, and not the other soldiers who were with him, received the Medal of Honor because he ran up out of cover and shot the fuck out of two enemies who were trying to drag away his friend.

 
 

I can’t figure this out. Is this “Christian” porn? Military porn? Or just the usual sweaty, muscular, manly, throbbing “it’s ok to kill for Jeus cause he’s on our side” porn?

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

That is a fine, fine comment thread over there.

(The one here is pretty good, too, but that’s a given.)

Asshole really thinks that women are lesser beings, and the worst insult he can give a man (because of course women never get the MoH, no, sir!) is that he’s a woman? Asshole needs to grow the fuck up.

The mangoes are so rotten he’s choking on the fruit flies.

 
 

Oh God yes. I’ve never seen anyone flamed like that, and I’ve hung around this blog for years.

With one exception;

I’m sure I’m not the first one to think this, but this guy just HAS to a secret liberal agent-provocateur on a mission to make Christian conservatives look really, really bad.

Of course. Just like George Bush.

But yeah, the schadenfreude is awesome. Kind of annoying that you have to wait until they go to the extreme of insulting the troops, and even then not always, for the conservatives to get all worked up… but even so, good show. I’m enjoying it tremendously.

 
 

Maybe he can have Jesus for a sleepover and they can brush each others’ hair and complain about that meanie Obama and how he feminized the MOH. Then, pillowfight!

 
 

Too cowardly even to take responsibility for the lies he’s peddling, Fischer passes off the blame to one “McGurn.”

According to Bill McGurn of the Wall Street Journal, every Medal of Honor awarded during these two conflicts has been awarded for saving life. Not one has been awarded for inflicting casualties on the enemy. Not one.

Between the two of them neither this “McGurn” (hah! “McGurn”! Fischer obviously made that name up) nor Fischer had the energy for the massive effort of typing “Medal of Honor” into the little box at the upper corner of the web browser, and then clicking on the link labeled “Medal of Honor – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,” and then scrolling on down and clicking the link labeled “War in Iraq.” Doesn’t matter anyway; outright lies are as good as truth for the suckers who read Fischer’s column and subsidize the American Family Association.

One recent Medal of Honor recipient came from my home town, Tampa, Florida. Here, courtesy of Wikipedia, is the story of the end, in April 2003, of Combat Engineer Sergeant Paul Ray Smith:

…However, behind the courtyard was a military aid station crowded with 100 combat casualties. To protect it from being overrun, Smith chose to fight on rather than withdraw with the wounded.

Meanwhile, some Iraqi fighters had taken position in the tower overlooking the courtyard, just over the west wall. The Iraqis now had the Americans in the courtyard under an intense crossfire. Smith took command of the M113 and ordered a driver to position it so that he could attack both the tower and the trenches. He manned the M113’s machine gun, going through three boxes of ammunition. A separate team led by First Sergeant Tim Campbell attacked the tower from the rear, killing the Iraqis. As the battle ended, Smith’s machine gun fell silent.

His comrades found him slumped in the turret hatch. His armored vest was peppered with 13 bullet holes, the vest’s ceramic armor inserts, both front and back, cracked in numerous places. But the fatal shot, one of the last from the tower, had entered his neck and passed through his brain, killing SFC Smith.

Here is what the official Army citation had to say:

Fearing the enemy would overrun their defenses, Sergeant First Class Smith moved under withering enemy fire to man a .50 caliber machine gun mounted on a damaged armored personnel carrier. In total disregard for his own life, he maintained his exposed position in order to engage the attacking enemy force. During this action, he was mortally wounded. His courageous actions helped defeat the enemy attack, and resulted in as many as 50 enemy soldiers killed, while allowing the safe withdrawal of numerous wounded soldiers. Sergeant First Class Smith’s extraordinary heroism and uncommon valor are in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflect great credit upon himself, the Third Infantry Division ‘Rock of the Marne,’ and the United States Army.

Hey, Fischer, did you ever see an M113? The fifty-caliber machine gunner stands exposed from the waist up, one man and one gun against an entire entrenched enemy company. Three boxes of ammunition, Fischer.

Retract and apologize, Fischer. Do it now.

 
 

Irk,irk,irk irk.

 
 

LITEKY, CHARLES (ANGELO J.)

Rank and organization: Chaplain (Capt.), U.S. Army, Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 199th Infantry Brigade

Place and date: Near Phuoc-Lac, Bien Hoa Province, Republic of Vietnam, 6 December 1967

Entered service at: Fort Hamilton, New York

Born: 14 February 1931, Washington, D.C

Citation:

Chaplain Liteky distinguished himself by exceptional heroism while serving with Company A, 4th Battalion, 12th Infantry, 199th Light Infantry Brigade. He was participating in a search and destroy operation when Company A came under intense fire from a battalion size enemy force. Momentarily stunned from the immediate encounter that ensued, the men hugged the ground for cover. Observing 2 wounded men, Chaplain Liteky moved to within 15 meters of an enemy machine gun position to reach them, placing himself between the enemy and the wounded men. When there was a brief respite in the fighting, he managed to drag them to the relative safety of the landing zone. Inspired by his courageous actions, the company rallied and began placing a heavy volume of fire upon the enemy’s positions. In a magnificent display of courage and leadership, Chaplain Liteky began moving upright through the enemy fire, administering last rites to the dying and evacuating the wounded. Noticing another trapped and seriously wounded man, Chaplain Liteky crawled to his aid. Realizing that the wounded man was too heavy to carry, he rolled on his back, placed the man on his chest and through sheer determination and fortitude crawled back to the landing zone using his elbows and heels to push himself along. Pausing for breath momentarily, he returned to the action and came upon a man entangled in the dense, thorny underbrush. Once more intense enemy fire was directed at him, but Chaplain Liteky stood his ground and calmly broke the vines and carried the man to the landing zone for evacuation. On several occasions when the landing zone was under small arms and rocket fire, Chaplain Liteky stood up in the face of hostile fire and personally directed the medivac helicopters into and out of the area. With the wounded safely evacuated, Chaplain Liteky returned to the perimeter, constantly encouraging and inspiring the men. Upon the unit’s relief on the morning of 7 December 1967, it was discovered that despite painful wounds in the neck and foot, Chaplain Liteky had personally carried over 20 men to the landing zone for evacuation during the savage fighting. Through his indomitable inspiration and heroic actions, Chaplain Liteky saved the lives of a number of his comrades and enabled the company to repulse the enemy. Chaplain Liteky’s actions reflect great credit upon himself and were in keeping with the highest traditions of the U.S. Army.

 
 

Maybe he can have Jesus for a sleepover and they can brush each others’ hair and complain about that meanie Obama and how he feminized the MOH. Then, pillowfight!

I hate you.

 
 

According to Bill McGurn of the Wall Street Journal, every Medal of Honor awarded during these two conflicts has been awarded for saving life. Not one has been awarded for inflicting casualties on the enemy. Not one.

Kinda interesting that Guinta is the first MoH winner in this round-o-wars to be STILL ALIVE TO RECEIVE HIS AWARD!

I wonder why Fischer didn’t find the time to whine about this when it was awarded to a dead soldier?

 
 

Through his indomitable inspiration and heroic actions, Chaplain Liteky saved the lives of a number of his comrades and enabled the company to repulse the enemy. Chaplain Liteky’s actions reflect great credit upon himself and were in keeping with the highest traditions of the U.S. Army.

Pussy shoulda picked up a rifle and killed sandniggers for Christ…what does he think he is, some kinda holy man or something????

 
 

The comments under Fischer’s article kick ass. My favorite:

I am putrified.

I’m fairly certain they meant “mortified”, but I like this better.

 
 

Sippy Cupp spewed this morning.

That’s a really wonderful piece of bullshit. I liked this a lot:

If Palin’s critics really want her to go away, they don’t have to worry about her politics, her faith or her folksy rhetoric. They need to worry about her boundless happiness which, like her favorite hunting weapon, is poised to be a warm gun for anyone who dares cross her path.

Happiness is a warm gun after all.

 
 

Actually, the Bill McGurn op-ed ain’t bad. Even the “only saving lives” part is an odd haziness introduced by Bryan’s own self.

 
 

I’m fairly certain they meant “mortified”, but I like this better.

Maybe – was it ZRM commenting?

 
 

So the question is this: when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things so our families can sleep safely at night?

I get the feeling this was written by a guy who played Army a lot.

In high school.

 
 

Damn tags! I’m irked.

 
Giant Rat of Sumatra
 

…Jesus stabbed 11 Roman soldiers in the eyeball before giving his flesh that we may live eternally…

 
 

I think the Presidential Medal of Freedom is the one you get for killing the most people.

 
Giant Rat of Sumatra
 

Also:

We are Pussies for not Slaughtering Grizzly Bears:

http://www.afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147500097

 
 

More Fischer:

So Hitler himself was an active homosexual. And some people wonder, didn’t the Germans, didn’t the Nazis, persecute homosexuals? And it is true they did; they persecuted effeminate homosexuals. But Hitler recruited around him homosexuals to make up his Stormtroopers, they were his enforcers, they were his thugs. And Hitler discovered that he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders, but that homosexual solders basically had no limits and the savagery and brutality they were willing to inflict on whomever Hitler sent them after. So he surrounded himself, virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Browshirts, were male homosexuals.

Boy, this guy has a problem with “feminine”.

 
 

I personally love the angle that Juses would approve of the manlification of the MOH by making it more about killing the other guy.

Because that’s what that dude was all about: body count!

Gonna go read the comments under the man-goes now, sounds fun.

 
 

Boy, this guy has a problem with “feminine”.

He’s like the low-rent Roy Cohn.

 
 

Snort said,
November 18, 2010 at 18:22

Well, just off the top of my head…

1) Hitler was married. To a woman.

2) The stormtroopers’ homosexuality, or at least that of their boss, Ernst Rohm, is one of the reasons the guy was killed. By Nazis.

3) After 1934, you’d have had trouble finding a single stormtrooper, homosexual or not, “surrounding” Hitler. They got taken apart very early by the SS.

4) Closet homosexuals going after open homosexuals, telling everyone that homosexuality is evil while they practice it in secret? That sounds a lot more like Larry Craig than Barney Frank to me…

 
 

1) Hitler was married. To a woman.

He married Braun in his bunker at the end, possibly to avoid her condemnation in hell to the spinster circle. Up until then, clearly, she was a beard. His real love was Blondi, the German sheep-herder.

Wait…someone’s whispering in my ear…Blondi was a DOG?!?!?!?!?!

 
 

I can’t believe you made me get out of the boat for those shitty, shitty mangoes…

If you read enough Medal of Honor citations (any war in modern times) you quickly figure out that there are two basic ways to win it:
a) kill a bunch of them
b) save a bunch of ours

And at least 2/3rds of the time, die doing it.

That jackasses’ blogopost is a classic example of the wingnut blind leading the wingnut blind in circles. If you want to judge for yourself, here are the recently awarded MOH’s.

http://www.cmohs.org/recent-recipients.php

Why, just last week, I read this one, and was considering posting it here as an example of what some of our fellow citizens have to do, with relatively little fanfare. This is the previous one awarded the MOH, not the one in the news this week.

http://www.cmohs.org/recipient-detail/3470/miller-robert-j.php

And what about this guy?
http://www.cmohs.org/recipient-detail/3461/smith-paul-r.php

There is no shortage of MOH’s awarded toa guy who had had enough of their shit and took to a .50 caliber machine gun and freaked out. Audie Murphy is not the only one. The .50 cal MG is a helluva machine.

What a bunch of assholes we’re dealing with anymore! E fucking gads.

 
 

Oops, Gavin the buttwipe covered this before.

I’ll go back to my my veterinarian and make sure my lobotomy is healing correctly

 
 

The christian minister sez:

So the question is this: when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things so our families can sleep safely at night?

There’s no amount of snark that can turn this into something funny.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

What was that passage in the Gospel of John?

Something like, “Greater love hath no man than to lay down some serious firepower to kill some Hadjis.” Something like that.

I’m seriously shocked that the fucker didn’t scrub this from the web.

 
 

And yes, DKW, thanks for reminding me of Michael Murphy. “Lone Survivor” is just about wingnut porn, the first 100 pages are just intolerable FOX-news/Texas chest thumping by a blowhard.

But that being said, Marcus Luttrell has a helluva story, and he and his guys went through quite a bit. And the number of AQ/Talib/local militia guys they took out that day, you almost start to feel sorry for them.

And Murphy — after killing a bunch of those guys — gave his life to try and save the rest of his guys.

 
 

His real love was Blondi, the German sheep-herder.

I thought it was his niece Geli Raubal?

 
 

Hitler’s real love was his Toyota Prius. And algore.

 
 

“So the question is this: when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things so our families can sleep safely at night?”

I quoted this exact same part in another thread….but I just said “omfg”

 
 

I thought it was his niece Geli Raubal?

Well, she distracted him, but Blondi and his chauffeur solved that problem, finally.

 
 

Jesus Christ, Superstar!
Leading the charge with his B.A.R.

 
 

I have only one thing to say here: WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT TRUST THE SHORTER????

 
 

Love this comment:

People like him are the reason I left the Republican party. They talk like hawks but balk like chickens. And they treat everything like a fundamentalist cult– politics, economics, religion. They’re a bunch of zombies.

Although I feel kinda bad about the zombie slur. Zombies have more class and character.

 
Physical Educator NIck Saban
 

Hitler himself was an active homosexual.

You can say a lot of bad things about the man, but at least he stayed fit, and off homosexual injured reserve.

 
 

Sgt. Leigh Ann Hester could kick his ass!

http://www.womensmemorial.org/Education/WHM08KitUSA.html

Also, too, it’s neat to see at least one of his commenters ask why, if he has such a hard on for killing, he never served in uniform.

 
 

Hey Fischer, a gift for you. Maybe if you ask Santa.

 
 

when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things so our families can sleep safely at night?

Yeah! Those brave men who direct Predator Drones from remote locations miles away from action have killed oodles of bad guys (as well as the odd wedding party) … & these noble warriors daily run the risk of fatal eyestrain & carpal-tunnel syndrome!

As somebody already pointed out over there, any moron can kill. Facing injury or death to save someone else is heroic, whether in war or peacetime. Soldiers universally loathe the “cowboys” who think they’re the reincarnation of Rambo, because they tend to get good people killed.

I’d hate to have to serve with a kill-crazy dipshit like Fischer – any time I took point, I’d be wondering if I was going to take one in the back.

 
 

you almost start to feel sorry for them

But then you remember that they were fighting against a foreign invasion of their country, and you feel better about them all dying.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

homosexual injured reserve

Otherwise known as the DL.

 
 

I’d hate to have to serve with a kill-crazy dipshit like Fischer
Serve? hell, I’m uneasy sharing my country with this guy.

 
 

I’d hate to have to serve with a kill-crazy dipshit like Fischer

Barring the draft’s return, that’s one worry guaranteed not to keep me up at night.

 
 

DOUCHE COUPLE ALERT!

This goes beyond douchiness, however I am having difficulty finding the right word…

 
 

This is a far more fitting tribute to the good sgt. than Fischer could possibly manage.
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/giunta.html

 
 

This goes beyond douchiness, however I am having difficulty finding the right word…

“Candidates for retroactive abortion.”

Or is that too strong?

Should we have a vote?

 
 

“Candidates for retroactive abortion.”

Or is that too strong?

Too cliched (the commenters have already suggested it) and not nearly strong enough for their idiocy…

 
 

I’ll dine on my own foot if it’s not an anti-choice stunt.

 
 

Too cliched (the commenters have already suggested it) and not nearly strong enough for their idiocy…

To borrow from Michael Palin, I can think of no word more insulting than “Bryan Fischer.”

 
 

And do they not realize how the internetz works? What happens when junior is, oh say, 10 years old, decides to google hisself, and Mom and Dad wanted to do WHAT?!?!?

 
 

And do i know how to kill a thread or what?

 
 

I’m confused still more again. Nuke ’em for Jesus wants to shoot grizzlies, but Palin is a “Mama Grizzly” packing weaponry for muscular Jesus too.
How’s about she shoot Ma and Pa Stupid, making the abortion point moot, and then Kill ’em can put her up for a some sort of medal?

 
 

Too cliched

I never claimed to be original.

 
 

I’ll dine on my own foot if it’s not an anti-choice stunt.

As your doctor, I have to say that self-cannibilization is not recommended. Stick to doughnuts.

 
 

WC, it’s a classic for a reason.

 
 

I’m sure that manly man,Bryan Fischer, killed many in all those wars he fought from his keyboard and in his fantasies.

His fantasy killing is impressive… although the fact he is dressed like a nun during 80% of these fantasies kind of takes away the glory….

 
 

To borrow from Michael Palin…

If I could go back to a time when any mention of the surname of Palin would only be associated with this individual.

 
 

DOUCHE COUPLE ALERT!

I believe in giving folks the benefit of the doubt so let’s keep the kid and abort the parents.

 
 

If Fischer thinks saving a couple people is pussy and not at all heroic, what does he think of the crucifixion?

 
 

I have to say that self-cannibilization is not recommended.

Have I mentioned my love of Czech surrealist movies?

 
 

I believe in giving folks the benefit of the doubt so let’s keep the kid and abort the parents.

Well played, this is something I can get behind…

 
 

what does [Fischer] think of the crucifixion?

You can see how an authoritarian would get slightly muddled about the details and end up thinking that the Roman legionnaires were the heroes of the story.

 
 

The Czechs sure like their condiments.

 
 

The Czechs sure like their condiments.

I felt the chutney took the dish from sublime to ridiculous.

Chutney is for legs.

 
 

That is an awesome comment thread yonder. My fave:

Well, I figured it out. Bryan doesn’t really believe any of this — it’s just that President Obama did “something” and whatever “something” he does, must be criticized by the Right. You really gotta stretch to criticize a Medal of Honor recipient/ceremony, which is why we got this drivel. Unfortunately, the rubber band broke. There are some things you don’t criticize. Obama was part of a nice ceremony. Let it go, dear.

 
 

Am I getting this correctly? Fischer is whining because a not dead serviceman got the MoH, and Megan is pisssy because TSA is implementing measures to protect us from the people who are killing, or attempting to kill said serviceman?

 
 

And k-Lo claims that the Liberals are all unhappy haters, also?

 
 

Unfortunately, the rubber band broke.

Bryan Fischer is a sex offender? I am shocked, shocked.

 
 

Obama was part of a nice ceremony. Let it go, dear.

Precisely. No one on the left criticized Bush for awarding a medal earned in combat to a soldier, and we hated Bush as much if not more than the right hates Obama.

Of course, we had real actual reality-based reasons for hating Bush…

 
 

Oh, wait, my bad…that was sippy cup who said we lam hate Sarah because she’s happy and we’re not…

 
 

There’s now a link to part 2 on the right of the blog. I can’t get my linky to work.

 
 

ACK! BRAIN BLEACH!

Response from the airline:

“Oh, that’s a relief. You voluntarily leaving means that I don’t have to fake my own death to get rid of you. Thank you!”

 
 

Thanks Actor.

It is striking that a certain amount of the criticism I have received actually verifies my thesis.

It’s central to his….

 
 

“Oh, that’s a relief. You voluntarily leaving means that I don’t have to fake my own death to get rid of you. Thank you!”

Delta Airlines Security Guard, Terminal 3, JFK, 8:22 AM: “Come in, base! Megan McArdle approaching in cab! Emergency protocols! Code Zulu!”

camera pans to terminal shot of terminal frontage, as curtains close, blinds slide down and porch light shuts off

 
 

Bryan has apparently not heard of Gen. Petraeus nor keptnup with the military’s changing philosophy on how war is conducted….sheesh! I hate war and everything about it, but even I know we aren’t going to fight the same way we did in ‘Nam…

 
 

vacuumslayer said,
November 18, 2010 at 19:01
DOUCHE COUPLE ALERT!

This is so nauseating that snark fails me. I think it was suggested above that we keep the child and abort the parents.

+1 here.

 
 

Response from the airline:

“Oh, that’s a relief. You voluntarily leaving means that I don’t have to fake my own death to get rid of you. Thank you!”

This made me snort…

 
 

camera pans to terminal shot of terminal frontage

Apparently, I did not have enough beer with lunch to fix my ADHD…

 
 

It is striking that a certain amount of the criticism I have received actually verifies my thesis. Because it verifies my thesis

Ah yes, the old right-wing adage…If you’re not pissing off people who aren’t trailerpark gloryhole tongue moppers, yer doin it wrong.

(Please excuse the confusing structure, I had to do it so I could say yer doin it wrong).

 
 

Gloryhole tonguemoppers?!? Oh my…do go on…

 
 

This is so nauseating that snark fails me.

Yeah, I know. I figure if they’re sincere, they’re disgusting and if it’s some anti-choice stunt, they’re disgusting, possibly even moreso.

 
 

trailerpark gloryhole tongue moppers

Great band! I love how they’ll improvise, right down to the scream at the end of Shelter Kilter, when the drummer screams “I’ve got splinters on me penis!”

 
 

Gloryhole tounguemoppers–

That was the most disgustingly insulting thing I could come up with.

I’m hoping it puts me up for a Medal of Honor. Wouldn’t that just fry Bryan’s ass?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

His fantasy killing is impressive… although the fact he is dressed like a nun during 80% of these fantasies kind of takes away the glory….

Fuckin’ Fischer feminizes nun habits.

“Oh, that’s a relief. You voluntarily leaving means that I don’t have to fake my own death to get rid of you. Thank you!”

Randian supergirl goes Galt ground.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

They took him to the hospital, then quickly hauled him over to the VPD cells

Veiled Penis Depiction?

 
 

Hokayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, so country music “star” Trace Adkins still hasn’t surrendered at Appomatox….

 
 

Fuckin’ Fischer feminizes nun habits.

Fischer nuts.

 
 

Bryan Fischer’s update

It’s not our soldiers who have become feminized, it is the awards process that has become feminized.

Salvatore Giunta was nominated for the award by his company commander.
Jared Monti was nominated by a US Army Ranger serving with his unit at the time of his actions.
Michael Murphy was nominated by his commanders.
I haven’t found a link for Robert Miller yet, but I’m pretty sure his nomination went the way most medal of honor nominations do – up the military chain of command.

 
 

I still want to know what is “feminine” about it. And then I’d like to know why his default assumption is that femininity is bad.

 
 

even I know we aren’t going to fight the same way we did in ‘Nam…
Why not? It worked so well.

terminal frontage
Basically The Ring but with toplessness.

he is dressed like a nun during 80% of these fantasies
In his dreams, Fischer is flying effortlessly above the trackless wastes of the Antarctic icecap, robes trailing behind him, held aloft Flying-Nun-style by his wimple. Until suddenly he crashes into a sharp peak of rock protuding through the ice.

It is a nunatak.

 
 

And then I’d like to know why his default assumption is that femininity is bad.

Cuz it’s girly.

 
 

It is a nunatak.

Are you going to make a habit of punning?

 
 

It is a nunatak.
I LOL’d

 
 

” he asserted that the Civil War “was essentially fought over states’ rights, a concept that gets glossed over as if ‘states’ rights’ was a slogan that somebody pulled out of thin air and didn’t have any real meaning”:

“And so, dammit, I’m gonna grow my hair! And I’m gonna grow it long! Ain’t no socialist o’bama gonna get between me and my mullet!”. Yes, Trace that will really give state’s right some real meaning…

 
 

There is nothing more feminine than running through machine gun and RPG fire. I mean, if Giunta was a real man he would have dropped his weapon, flexed (which would have caused the arms of his shirt to tear away), took out his knife and snuck behind the enemy for a bazillion stealth kills. He then could have marched to Pakistan and took out Osama bin Laden. THEN, if had any sack at all, he’d come back to the states and slap Obama for NOT giving the rich tax cuts.

What a bitch.

 
 

It is a nunatak.
Antarctic puns get my seal of approval. I would even go so far as to say, they krill me.

 
 

I still want to know what is “feminine” about it. And then I’d like to know why his default assumption is that femininity is bad.

Okay, I think I’ve finally pieced it together. The older Medals of Honor were just the stars – the “feminization” refers to the addition of the circle-y thing around it. “Feminization” because ladies are curvy. This is bad because it turns America’s highest military award into a devil-worshipping pentagram.

Ta da! Turns out Bryan Fischer was right all along! Take that you dirty libs.

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career. So I will keep it very straight –

The very fact that this is the first Medal of Honor awarded to a living veteran since the Viet Nam War speaks volumes about how much the previous administration treated war as a subject and soldiers as people.

The previous administration was too busy handing out the Presidential Medal of Freedom to chickenhawks and foreign leaders (like Tony Blair).

And the chickenhawks dare criticize the MOH going to a staff sergeant who ran through rifle and RPG fire and shot two confirmed Afghan insurgents in a vain attempt to rescue his commanding officer?

Well, that settles it once and for all. They hate the military and men and women who serve in it.

 
 

It’s not our soldiers who have become feminized, it is the awards process that has become feminized.

Explain it to your mother, Bry.

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career.

I can see I have misunderstood what is going on and I will cease masturbating.

 
 

…and I will cease masturbating.

Another victory for Christine O’Donnell!

 
 

Sob.
I walrus hurt the one I love.

 
 

Well, that settles it once and for all. They hate the military and men and women who serve in it.
It only looks that way from here. I’m sure it would be more accurate to say they only view the military as tools to further their own ends.

When the military is done blowing shit up, and conquering the opponent du jour, they wish the military would just go away. They would never want to see an amputee or a veteran who was mentally scarred by his or her wartime experiences. And they sure as hell don’t feel like providing any ongoing care for those veterans who were injured during their service to the country.

If it isn’t explosions or diplomacy in the furtherance of US commercial interests, they couldn’t care less. It’s only the effects of that neglect that look like hate.

 
 

I walrus hurt the one I love.

Tis better to have loved and lost than narwhal love at all.

 
 

If it isn’t explosions or diplomacy in the furtherance of US commercial interests, they couldn’t care less. It’s only the effects of that neglect that look like hate.

It was intriguing in the Fischer thread to see how many vets came out and gave him shit. I suspect in their cups, they’d admit the raw deal the nation gives them.

Not the government, the people. Especially the ones who wank when sending them off.

 
 

Dhalgren–just curious: Is your nym a reference to Samuel Delaney’s novel of the same name?

 
 

I must take up my penguin its time to write puns. Skua do you think you are kidding? Ice berg you not to wast your time on inferior puns.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The pun is the lowest form of humor. In fact, puns are for moraines.

 
 

Willow Palin pregnant? I wonder if it was by that kid she savaged on Facebook?

 
 

The pun is the lowest form of humor. In fact, puns are for moraines.

That’s so gla,cier.

 
 

Ice berg you not to wast your time on inferior puns.

Don’t be puffin yourself up, sir.

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career.

My stand-up career is going very poorly. It consists of me sitting on my ass and typing on a keyboard to an audience of about 20 people, half of which probably ignore my posts. GREAT. Now I feel like a failure.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Pregnancy shocker… did the kid have semen on his fingers?

Hey, thanks for the audition, I’ll have my people call your people.

 
 

I’ll have my people call your people.

*dimming porch lights*

 
 

Snort said,

November 18, 2010 at 18:22 (kill)

More Fischer:

So Hitler himself was an active homosexual. And some people wonder, didn’t the Germans, didn’t the Nazis, persecute homosexuals? And it is true they did; they persecuted effeminate homosexuals. But Hitler recruited around him homosexuals to make up his Stormtroopers, they were his enforcers, they were his thugs. And Hitler discovered that he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders, but that homosexual solders basically had no limits and the savagery and brutality they were willing to inflict on whomever Hitler sent them after. So he surrounded himself, virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Browshirts, were male homosexuals.

Boy, this guy has a problem with “feminine”.

You know WHO ELSE has a problem with feminism?

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career.

I thought I was auditioning for a role as a pornstar. Wrong room, obviously.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I thought I was auditioning for a role as a pornstar.

If that’s not a stand up career, then I have a head of silky, luxurient locks.

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career.
This is a common mistake. I am actually auditioning for a career in heckling stand up comedians.

 
 

I thought I was auditioning for a role as a pornstar. Wrong room, obviously.

Right this way, please.

 
 

comments to audition for a stand up career

No no no. This is not stand-up auditions; it’s the largest writer’s room on the Internet. Fortunately, there is no head writer/fascist, so we don’t actually have to come up w/ workable scripts.

 
 

so we don’t actually have to come up w/ workable scripts.

Are you trying to say you don’t like my fake Penthouse Forum letters?

 
 

Though 77south’s analysis may be more apt.

“Get off the stage, you ugly piece of shit! Two drink minimum to watch a cretin drool? Bullshit!” (How’s that?)

 
 

Those were “fake?” What?

 
 

Fortunately, there is no head writer/fascist, so we don’t actually have to come up w/ workable scripts.

A-fuckin-men. Altho I swear I’ve heard some of our jokes on “Wait Wait!”

 
 

I thought I was auditioning for a role as a pornstar. Wrong room, obviously.

*glancing at trousers*

You’ll want the midget’s wing.

 
 

jokes on “Wait Wait!”

NAZI!!

 
 

You’ll want the midget’s wing.
That was unnecessarily harsh. Just tell the cameraman to use a macro lens and you will do fine.

 
 

Just tell the cameraman to use a macro lens and you will do fine.

Or we could hire a stunt prick.

 
 

they only view the military as tools to further their own ends.

To be fair, that’s really what the military is. However,

When the military is done blowing shit up, and conquering the opponent du jour, they wish the military would just go away.

Not 100% accurate. They want to keep military in bases scattered across the world in order to project their virtual dicks everywhere and they want a few generals and such to trot out to stand behind them while they bloviate so the world can see they “support the troops” (and by implication, are supported by the troops). The rest, they wish they could put into cold storage until the next war. Finally:

they sure as hell don’t feel like providing any ongoing care for those veterans who were injured during their service to the country.

Bingo! Those wounded and scarred are so feminized. They should hide themselves away (at best) in shame.

 
 

NAZI!!

Uh….hem.

 
 

Or we could hire a stunt prick.
I don’t think accessorizing with a miniature crash helmet and a stars and bars jumpsuit would help.

 
 

In fact, puns are for moraines.

Aura australis are entarctic phenomena.

 
 

Oh, sorry. Credit (Thought it was obvious, my error.) to the Prime Minister.

(And credit to me for the in-thread reference.)

 
 

Okay, I got out of the boat, and I’m glad — because this is one sweet, sweet mango (from the comments):

Return to the ways of your Fathers! Why have we rejected the Aesir? Why have we traded Thor, the defender of Midgard, for a Middle Eastern faith of meekness? When will we learn nothing worthwhile comes from there? The Halls of Valhalla beckon brother. The old ways still are in your heart, embrace them.

 
 

Aura australis are entarctic phenomena.

While diverticulitis is an enteric phenomenon

 
 

I’m an avid Sadly No fan, but unlike all ‘yall, I don’t use comments to audition for a stand up career. So I will keep it very straight

Well, at least you admit you lack the ability to tell a joke.

I will never admit any such thing. (Well, and I actually did stand-up comedy for a year … until the child support and student loan bills came due; those weren’t all that comical on my bank account.)

Or we could hire a stunted prick.

Fixed to make it believable.

 
 

Fixed to make it believable.

You know those were photoshopped by people with a grudge against me, right?

 
 

You know those were photoshopped by people with a grudge against me, right?

Well, the pixels involved say otherwise … all four of them.

 
 

t consists of me sitting on my ass and typing on a keyboard to an audience of about 20 people, half of which probably ignore my posts.

Don’t think of it as ignoring. I find it is much easier on my fragile self-esteem to assume that everybody is just struck dumb with awe at my brilliance.

Otherwise, I would have to start cutting myself again, and I just get so sick of cleaning blood off the sofa.

 
 

I find it is much easier on my fragile self-esteem to assume that everybody is just struck dumb with awe at my brilliance.

As I’ve said to many conservative, “Your wit is stunning. And I mean that in a caveman-club kind of way.”

 
 

My stand-up career is going very poorly. It consists of me sitting on my ass and typing on a keyboard to an audience of about 20 people, half of which probably ignore my posts.

I pay attention, but only because I imagine you are typing naked.

 
 

And then I’d like to know why his default assumption is that femininity is bad.

Yet another fRightard thing where they still sound like the boys on my old elementary school playground did – among six-year-old boys, there was no bigger insult than to be called a girl. Then, puberty wandered along a while later and taught us all that there was a point to girls, and around then the biggest insult was to say that one of the guys wasn’t into girls (i.e. a f4g0rt.)

Then, adulthood wandered along a while later and, in some cases, taught us that there was nothing wrong with being gay either, and that those girls were human just like us.

So, I think it’s that the wingnuts are stuck as being either six- or thirteen-year-old boys, or both. Now all we have to do is get those young boys to realize right from the start that there isn’t anything wrong with being a girl or a gay man, and maybe there will be no more wingnuts.

 
 

Then, adulthood wandered along a while later and, …

Mines still wandering.

 
 

The very fact that this is the first Medal of Honor awarded to a living veteran since the Viet Nam War speaks volumes about how much the previous administration treated war as a subject and soldiers as people.

Amen.

Well, that settles it once and for all. They hate the military and men and women who serve in it.

What 77South said. No, they just don’t give a shit and they wish it would stop bothering them. Which is pretty much their attitude towards the population as a whole, come to think of it.

 
 

I’m sure I’m not the first one to think this, but this guy just HAS to a secret liberal agent-provocateur on a mission to make Christian conservatives look really, really bad.

You’re posting on a wingding site, so I’m pretty sure you’re not.

Does anyone know any lib digs where this sort of conspiracy theorizing is prevalent?

 
 

Thanks, Elmo. That was a mighty tasty mango.

 
 

It’s possible I’ve figured out why he thinks saving lives is for pussies.

if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people

Signed, the Koran. Of course, it’s also in the Bible, but the fact that it’s in the Koran also makes it tainted. That conservabible project can’t come quick enough!

 
 

Idaho Values Alliance

Sharin’ taters gonna Sharon Tate.

 
 

Hi I’m Dave, and I’m an alcho–

Wrong room? But I recognise half of you!

 
 

I just felt like .it.

 
 

I’m just here to observe!

 
 

That’s a pretty big raptor.

*dinosaur nerd*

 
 

I just felt like .it.

Thou hast made me laugh out loud on what has been a shitty day. Thank thee, my friend.

 
 

Do the raptors have large talons?

 
 

Could someone post this for me, I can’t get it to go through from work:

“However, Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless – yes, meaningless – if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.”

I’m trying to remember whom he killed on the cross, but I admit its eluding me. Clearly my Biblical scholarship pales in comparision to the luminaries at this website.

It is possible that the author is conflating a metaphorical mortal wounding with the real life mortality typically seen in war, much as the author has conflated his his Call of Duty 2 service-time with an understanding of actual heroism. In this case, he is just a horrible writer, seeing as sin and violence are still going strong after 2000 years. Maybe it would be more fair to say Jesus left a minor scarring on his enemy?

But I have a solution for all of this… something that everyone should be able to get behind: Obama needs to award a Medal of Honor to Jesus. Maybe General Bryan Fischer (I’m just guessing here) could recieve it for him; I’m sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.

 
 

So raptor Jesus rode an Ankylosaur? Or a Dimetrodon?

 
 

Raptor Jesus did not go extinct, but was taken up in the Raptor Rapture.

 
 

It is possible that the author is conflating a metaphorical mortal wounding with the real life mortality typically seen in war

If mortally wounding a metaphor deserves a Medal of Honour then they’ll be handing them out to half of the Right Bloggosphere.

 
 

I’m trying to remember whom he killed on the cross, but I admit its eluding me. Clearly my Biblical scholarship pales in comparision to the luminaries at this website.

I think he meant that the sacrifice was defeating evil, or Satan.

 
 

Mysticdog: because of the utter shittiness of the website, I either posted your post twice or not at all. Only time will tell.

 
 

“tsam said,
November 19, 2010 at 1:05

Do the raptors have large talons?”

Serious question? I googled to be sure but sadly already knew: yes.

 
 

Fischer: virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Browshirts, were male homosexuals.

Artist’s rendition of a “Browshirt” here.

 
 

What’s the over/under on when this guy scrubs the post that followed up his scrubbed post, and just tries to pretend like none of this ever happened?

 
 

OBTW, my comment over there:

What is truly hilarious is that you essentially say “We should especially honor the soldiers who kill exceptional numbers of enemies because that’s what Jesus would do.” Um, perhaps you should re-read the New Testament for content.

 
 

Obviously Bryan Fischer has never seen Forrest Gump, other wise he would know that a soldier can save lives and still receive the Congressional Medal of Honor.

 
 

Present for Vacuumslayer.

 
 

Raptor Jesus loves the little children.

 
 

Thanks WC! Sometimes it’s just fun to jump on the dogpile.

Chris: Either way, they both seem to be going strong; certainly no mortal wounding that I can tell.

 
 

If Jesus murdered the mortal enemies of our souls while he died on the cross, does that mean we’re dealing with Zombie Satan here?

Honestly, the Jesus/Medal of Honor argument has got to be the most tortured metaphor of all time. Can we call it “peak wing-nut” and restore our national senses now?

 
 

Raptor Jesus saves sinners for a midnight snack.

 
 

With only five loaves and two fishes, Raptor Jesus fed on the multitude.

 
 

A certain man was travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was beset upon by robbers. They stripped him of all his belongings and beat him half to death and then left him there by the side of the road. Not long afterwards a respected priest from a nearby parish passed by and upon seeing the poor wretch, passed upon the other side of the road. Likewise a Levite came by the man and he too passed upon the other side of the road. Then came a Samaritan who upon seeing the man, was struck with sympathy and compassion. The Samaritan helped the man, binding his wounds and bringing him to an inn where he entreated the innkeeper to take care of the man at the Samaritan’s expense. Then Raptor Jesus ate them both.

 
 

Another award that’s been feminized (You just know B.F. wanted to type “pussified.”):

The Nat’l. Book Awards.

via NAZIPR

 
 

For God so loved the world, he gave his one and only begotten Raptor, that whosoever believes in him shall be OM NOM NOM NOM.

 
 

He said Raptor Christ!
It was funny how he had named the only therapod who would eat him now.

 
 

Raptor Jesus raised up Lazarus, and ate him whole.

 
 

…if I may be allowed to jump in on D-KW’s schtick.

 
 

…somewhat like I did his moms last night.

 
 

Don’t make baby Raptor Jesus cry, the high pitched wailing will pierce your eardrums and cause enough disorientation for Him to catch you and eat you.

 
 

My mom’s schtick? I thought she had given up on the peggin…YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!

 
 

Perhaps Raptor Jesus could NOM the Douche Couple? I think he would appreciate the selfless sacrifice of their marbled flesh.

 
 

Raptor Jesus saved the Roman soldiers at Golgotha, then ate them later. He got a Medal of Honor for that. How’d ya like that, Rev. Bryan, you big homo!

 
 

Smut, you shouldn’t have! But how will I get a NZ baby? Won’t the stork get tired?

 
 

To the proprietors – Sadly, No has been lagging in excitement lately. I think you need to liven it up a little. Given the passion and insanity going on right now on the Bristol Palin, DWTS situation, I think what we need is a really offensively hilarious post about Sarah Palin, to bring some exciting new trolls on site.

Yours truly,

g

 
 

g said,

November 19, 2010 at 5:02

I initially read that as “Sadly, No has been lagging in excrement lately” and nearly went searching for a POOP link.

 
 

Oh god, not the Palin-dromes.

 
 

Don’t you all wonder who knocked up Willow? Alex Rodriguez you cad!

 
 

Heads up, folks to the west! Jon Stewart devotes the first 2 segments tonight to mocking Glenn Beck!

 
 

…nearly went searching for a POOP link.

You can never go wrong with a POOP link.

 
 

Hey, if Bald Bastard comes by, tell him I fucking loved his review of the book. I tried to post a comment at his joint but when I clicked ‘publish’ a wee elf winked at me, there was a puff of green smoke, and I woke up the next morning to discover myself lying on a carpet of moss — the faerie circle had turned into a ring of mushrooms.

The trouble is, now I owe the guy a blowjob.

 
 

Raptor Jesus did not go extinct, but was taken up in the Raptor Rapture.

HAHA! Awesome.

 
 

Serious question? I googled to be sure but sadly already knew: yes.

The Google knows all. Sadly, I don’t know the Google.

 
 

Don’t you all wonder who knocked up Willow? Alex Rodriguez you cad!

Why does Levi come to mind suddenly? And why do I think that’s the funniest damn thing since witnessing an awesome junkpunch? Why are my comments in the form of questions?

Is this troll-bait?

 
 

Whoever linked to McArglebargle talking kinky to the TSA, thanks a fucking lot. Piranhas ate my balls. That shit should come with a NSFHC warning: not safe for human consumption.

 
 

Whoever linked to McArglebargle talking kinky to the TSA

That TSA is one lucky guy. Talk about sweet sweet release! Amen.

 
 

It would only have been better if she’d have done it in the form of song…

Teee Esssss Aaaaay baby baby I’m a-gonna leave you…
I ain’t jokin’ pervs I got to ramble…

That’s how I’d break up with TSA.

 
 

It would only have been better if she’d have done it in the form of song…

Interpretative dance. Don’t settle for anything less.

 
Physical Educator NIck Saban
 

Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless – yes, meaningless – if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

Indeed, it’s hard to believe since the last 2000 years of human history have basically been Lionel Ritchie’s twin hits “All Night Long” and “Easy Like Sunday Morning” on infinite repeat, but before Jesus showed up, there used to be evil in the world.

 
 

Oh SWEET!

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/publication-of-bush-memoir-reopens-old-debates/?singlepage=true

Shorter PJM; the tragedy of the Iraq war is that we destroyed Iraq when we should have destroyed Iran. And that it made it harder for us to go on destroying countries in the future based on nothing but our good word.

 
 

wtf,, is this the thread that wont die……

 
 

wtf,, is this the thread that wont die……

This is the thread that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friend.
Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was,
and they’ll continue writing it forever just BECAUSE
this is the thread that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friend…

 
 

Interpretative dance. Don’t settle for anything less.

With a side of jazz hands. Jazz hands make everything jazzier.

 
 

Sadly, No has been lagging in excrement lately

And on World Toilet Day none the less!

POOP!

 
 

Whoever linked to McArglebargle talking kinky to the TSA, thanks a fucking lot. Piranhas ate my balls.

I did.

I like to think of it as eliminating the competition.

Sure it was piranhas? It could have been zombies exacting revenge…

 
 

Wrong room? But I recognise half of you!

Look, the first rule of AA is you don’t talk about AA, capisci????

 
 

“Hey! Honest-to-God Patriots!”

I like the way you look, George Zimmer!

 
 

I like the way you look, George Zimmer!

I’m so writing off my suits as a donation.

 
 

Hey! Honest-to-God Patriots!

Hmmm, let’s see…

…including hedge fund legend Michael Steinhardt, super trial lawyer Guy Saperstein, and Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s fame…

Patriots, definitely! But I imagine the wingnutz will write them off as a bunch of JOOOOOOZ!

 
 

Get on your knees and PREY

 
 

But I imagine the wingnutz will write them off as a bunch of JOOOOOOZ!

Especially neo-cons like David Frum, Bill Kristol, Bobby Kagan, Pam Gellar….

 
 

“…Especially neo-cons like David Frum, Bill Kristol, Bobby Kagan, Pam Gellar….”

Honey, don’t forget: it’s Pam Geller, with two e’s. Gellar is reserved for my one true love, Sarah Michelle Gellar Prinz, i.e., Buffy the Vampire Slayer, whom I would follow into battle any time, any place.

(Did I use “whom” correctly?)

 
 

May I be the first to offer a hearty FYWP and FY S,N!’s hosting company this morning?

 
 

WTF, I finally get out on work release and SN is still on automatic weapons Jesus? Wuh happen, did Tintin take a Belgian end dive into the Stella again?

 
 

God, I wish someone would feed the hammies.

 
 

POOP!

I had been wondering where the Constitution went.

 
 

I thought they wre squirrels. Please feed the dial-up connection.

 
 

Brryyyyaaan, come out and plaaaay!

 
 

Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless – yes, meaningless – if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

Apparently Satan got better.

And a Manhattan hedge fund billionaire said he believes the cuts should be extended and added that “the moneys should be used to pay down debt”

Obviously he means his own debt rather than the US debt, because otherwise it’s just not possible for anyone to be that dumb and convince other people to give him money, is it?

 
 

Hmmm, since there’s no one here to play with, I’ll just play with myself.

OMG BRYAN!,

 
 

Would you believe this moron is actually defending what he wrote in a follow-up, all the while conveniently “losing” the original posting? Thank goodness the original page hasn’t actually disappeared – just the link.

 
 

Gellar is reserved for my one true love, Sarah Michelle Gellar Prinz, i.e., Buffy the Vampire Slayer, whom I would follow into battle any time, any place.

If I arrange a meeting, will you let me videotape it?

 
 

Would you believe this moron is actually defending what he wrote in a follow-up, all the while conveniently “losing” the original posting? Thank goodness the original page hasn’t actually disappeared – just the link.

Conservative pundits or bloggers are so used to getting off the hook, they forget there are lines even they can’t cross.

Then when the backlash hits them, they think they can wiggle their way out of it with a cheap rationalization and victim card, cause it’s worked so many times in the past. Not this time, though.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“It has been angry, vituperative, hate-filled, and laced with both profanity and blasphemy.”

NOOOOOOOO NOT PROFANITY AND BLASPHEMY!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fucking hamsters, how do they work?

 
 

NOOOOOOOO NOT PROFANITY AND BLASPHEMY!

Well, not blasphemy, at any rate.

 
 

Fucking hamsters, how do they work?

Pretty well, considering they breed like rabbits.

 
 

Fuck Ezra Klein!

Joke Line is officially now the Good Klein.

 
 

I tried posting a smartass comment on the follow-up, but it’s been lost in moderation. I think he’s probably being inundated by hostile comments.

 
 

So, is Willow pregnant or not? “Enquiring” minds want to know.

 
 

Fucking hamsters, how does it work?

First you…..

 
 

NOOOOOOOO NOT PROFANITY AND BLASPHEMY!

Someone in the comments section pointed out the irony of a man wallowing in 300-based fantasies of manly blood and gore one minute, and the next, being a sissy about the state of his comments section. Harshly worded comments! On the Internet! How can people be so mean!

 
 

Careful with those pearls, Bryan. The way you’re clutching them is kinda…feminine.

 
 

Interpretative dance. Don’t settle for anything less.

Liturgical dance is weeeeeeird.

 
 

Maybe they could man up the MOH by giving it to people for sniveling about foul language.

 
 

Careful with those pearls, Bryan.

Are oyu suggesting he’s wearing a pearl necklace?

 
 

Yoo-hoo Tintin got out of the drunk tank. Upstairs.

 
 

So, is Willow pregnant or not? “Enquiring” minds want to know.

I only put it in a little.

 
 

(Did I use “whom” correctly?)

No. Buffy is the subject so it should be ‘who.’

 
 

FAIL. I hope PM’s cooking is better than his grammar.

 
Physical Educator NIck Saban
 

Dr. Whom

 
 

Considering soldiers who have committed decidedly unfeminine acts of killing people and breaking things in our names, perhaps Mr. Fischer would like to nominate
Steven Green for a medal of honor?

 
 

And the idiot gets even sillier… He’s put up yet another defense of his increasingly moronic article.

 
 

And the idiot gets even sillier… He’s put up yet another defense of his increasingly moronic article.

Fuck that noise. Send Bryan Dickless to Parris Island and feed him to the local Sergeant Hartman.

 
 

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