I read that first one as “edwhelanelmo” at first.

AHEM: http://twitter.com/kathrynlopez

You KNOW Victor Davis Hanson’s penis is only hard for the hoplites of Sparta.

Yippee.

Yappee.

The fact is, your’re nerfarious plan to demonise conservatives using the internet is already failing you. We will repeel Your Boy’s communistic health care plan and allow the Free Market to do its work to acheive the best out comes.

Not that making fun of K-Lo isn’t always a hoot, but the “.@” is a pretty standard twitter convention where you want to reply to someone, but you want all your followers to see the reply as well. (If you just do the “@” only people who follow both parties will see the respons.)

[Tintin replies: Well, hmmph. And here I thought I knew everything. Post fixed to avoid killing K-Lo’s buzz.]

Yahooooooooooooey.

What — no love for James ‘ACORN Pimp’ O’Keefe getting minions to go out and buy drinks for a special ed teacher and then releasing his secretly recorded tapes of her complaining about the NJ teachers’ union on YouTube?

‘Cause, you know, this is how citizen journalism is done.

Nerfarious is an excellent excellent word to describe lukewarm evil. Thanks pretend Gary!

the “.@” is a pretty standard twitter convention where you want to reply to someone, but you want all your followers to see the reply as well.

Hmmm, learn something new every day. been on twitter since 2007 and didn’t know that.

Still, she wasn’t replying to anyone, since those people idiots were the speakers on the panels she was tweeting about.

Can’t that stupid woman make even an effort to use the upper-case once or twice in her abysmal Twits?

Speaking of junior high school on the high seas,

all-boy panels can get off-color on #nrcruise (just finished all-gal session though, mercifully)

No judicial “activsim,” though:

.@edwhelannro We are winning the political battle on judicial philosophy #nrcruise

Can’t Hugo Chavez or a Castro Brother or some responsible Caribbean/South American leader have this rust bucket of ratbags sunk?

The fact is, this is a ship full of PARTIOTS. You USA-hating fools only like to demonise Sarah and the Heartland True and Proud. They are the anti-eleituist of the common people

all-boy panels can get off

Heh, indeedy.

Why Twitversation is not worth the effort:

Not that making fun of K-Lo isn’t always a hoot, but the “.@” is a pretty standard twitter convention where you want to reply to someone, but you want all your followers to see the reply as well. (If you just do the “@” only people who follow both parties will see the respons.)

All that for 140 spaces of bullshit?

The GWB presidential portrait.

http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2010/11/seriously-2

The GWB presidential portrait.

Caption- “I’m all business when it comes to shit.”

I’m waiting for her twit on Mittens.

No, actually, I’m not.

edwhelannro: essential to repeal obamacare and replace with marketbased healthcare

What what breaking news that a conservative would say such a thing. Thanks K-Lo.

I wonder how well a portly gal like K-Lo would fare under market based healthcare.

“we were fooled by the shepard fairey”

What the fuck does this even mean? Shepherd fairy? Huh? How were they “fooled,” they all voted against him.

Hmm, maybe I’ve misjudged Bush afterall. Look how folksy and down-to-earth he is. He’s just sitting on a couch, like an everyday person.

And could it be? Oh, it is! He’s not wearing a suit or a tie or anything fancy. Why, he’s just like me, he is.

Man, I wish I had American citizenship and access to a time machine so I could go back and vote for him in both elections.

What a super guy!

Y’know, at the risk of sounding like a grumpy ol’ curmudgeon, this is why I do not Twitter, or Tweet, or Twat, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. No one can come off sounding intelligent within the constraints of the format. Even when there’s no risk of reaching the 140 character limit, twittlers feel like they have to abbreviate words, and leave off things like articles and punctuation, so that even the most erudite and thoughtful thinkers (let alone tipsy NRO douchebags) come off sounding like ADD adolescents.

The GWB presidential portrait.

Hand that fucker a banjo, and he could be the kid in “Deliverance”.

Y’know, at the risk of sounding like a grumpy ol’ curmudgeon, this is why I do not Twitter, or Tweet, or Twat, or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Last week it hit me
Twitter’s uniquely suited
for posting haikus.

Then I looked up “Twitter haiku” and the suckers are ubiquitous. That put the kibosh on haiku-tweeting bastard.

A twitter haiku
is like painting a sunset
using dog vomit

No one can come off sounding intelligent within the constraints of the format.

I’ve heard they can, though I haven’t witnessed it myself (and it’s professionally clever people who manage it; e.g. I’ve heard Stephen Fry is worth following.)

However, it is the perfect medium for rightards – bumper-sticker length, forgotten in a few minutes.

…that was me, Pol Pot.

I have some strange hobbies.

Even when there’s no risk of reaching the 140 character limit, twittlers feel like they have to abbreviate words, and leave off things like articles and punctuation, so that even the most erudite and thoughtful thinkers (let alone tipsy NRO douchebags) come off sounding like ADD adolescents.

Let’s pool our resources and start a Twitter for the erudite. Auto-cancels if it detects bad spelling, poor punctuation, juvenile abbreviations, dim notions.

We could call it Litter.

I haven’t been over 140 characters in this thread yet. So here goes: Bush’s wife looks like more of a president than he does.

No?

Couldn’t one of these drunken numbskulls be wandering around on the deck, twittering, oblivious to their location, and fall overboard. Maybe, all of them.

That’s my vision of hope, and change, anyway.

Please, god, let the NRO cruise be a Celebrity cruise…

Wait, weren’t they just begging for money a few weeks ago or else the last bastion of defense against the islamofasciobaman hordes would collapse? Would their followers be annoyed to find they just needed some slush money to buy the hookers’ drinks on their cruise?

Hand that fucker a banjo, and he could be the kid in “Deliverance”.

I believe that’s called “Playing to the base.”

Here’s a suggestion for entertainment on that cruise: stop the engines for an hour and see how many passengers have been eaten when they come back on.

Here’s a suggestion for entertainment on that cruise: stop the engines for an hour two weeks and see how many passengers have been eaten when they come back on.

fxdideed

Would their followers be annoyed to find they just needed some slush money to buy the hookers’ drinks on their cruise?

Heck, I would’ve paid major scratch to send them on this cruise.

Two things:

1) Being the liberal lemming that I am, I just ordered Rise Again. It better be good, is what I’m saying.

2) The portraitist put a flower vase into the Bush “presidential” *choke* portrait in order to include something with some intelligence.

3) Did the hamsters at S,N! stage a revolt earlier this evening? I was unable to get through and I was starting to get the shakes. Glad they’re back in harness.

OK, three things…

Curious as to the over/under on whether K-lo devours DoughBob or vice-versa.

“The Quick and The Dead” and all that.

Would their followers be annoyed to find they just needed some slush money to buy the hookers’ drinks on their cruise?

The hookers on that cruise are going to need a lot of drinks.

I’d prefer to send them on this cruise.

I’d prefer to send them on this cruise.

Maybe we could rename this to “Galt’s Gulch.” Have ’em lining up by the truckoad.

And then the very next morning:

woke up next to schlafly. no memory. oh god. there’s so much blood. ohgodohgodohgod. #nrcruise

justme: I like it! We could emphasize the freedom of the Red Planet, like it’s all one big red state.

Oooh…. *rubs hands together*

Mars also has no illegal immigrants. Or Muslims.

no love for James ‘ACORN Pimp’ O’Keefe getting minions to go out and buy drinks for a special ed teacher and then releasing his secretly recorded tapes

O’Keefe is merely trying to show that private enterprise can be more efficient than centralised bureaucracies at running a Stasi-style surveillance society.

Srsly, seems to me that the intended take-home message from O’Keefe’s antics is “Welcome to a Nation of Finks”, where old-fashioned expectations of privacy no longer apply. Any dissident thoughts you express may be secretly recorded and used against you — or against someone else — so guard your tongues, citizens. Better still, guard what you think.

I also believe that being able to expect some level of discretion and decency (i.e. not having to treat every stranger as a potential nark) is a pre-requisite for a civilised society, but that ship has sailed.

the Bush “presidential” *choke* portrait

Catering to the breathplay fetish market, then.

my fav tweet of KLo:

re tsa screening protests: since when are we suddenly such a modest culture? not complaining, just intensely curious.

Yoohoo! TSA! We have a volunteer for the crotch grab/search.

I’m not sure the TSA wouldn’t insist she NOT get the pr0n screening NOR the “enhanced patdown rubdown.

mrs schlafly, original mamma grizzly
I can understand K Lo’s eagerness to get some mileage out of this recent goodthink coinage before the media duckspeakers move on to something newer and shinier, but is anyone seriously going to imagine Schafly as “A women acting with uncharacteristic ferocity when defending her children from a threat”?

It’s almost as if K Lo is not really thinking but merely allowing the slogans and phrases to run around inside her head, each one propelled to the emotional charge that has been attached to it.

re tsa screening protests: since when are we suddenly such a modest culture?
Good question. When did Americans begin to resent anonymous hoodlums in uniforms groping their children and leering at them and their families naked?
What would a mamma grizzly do?

I am shocked, shocked that the only government agency for which K Lo has a good word is the Department of Mass Strip-searches.

I also believe that being able to expect some level of discretion and decency (i.e. not having to treat every stranger as a potential nark) is a pre-requisite for a civilised society, but that ship has sailed.

Y’know, when I was growing up, fucknuggets like O’Keefe would be beaten soundly about the face and neck for this sort of thing and whomever they ran to for comfort would give them an old fashioned shunning, strictly out of decency.

Now? Wingnut Welfare!

But you try telling that to kids these days.

Hey guys, we can’t send the Tea-klan to Mars.

The Martians are Jewish.

Bob Hope said so.

Yoohoo! TSA! We have a volunteer for the crotch grab/search.

I don’t think they equip the TSA folks with these.

Yeah, her Tweeting skill just screams “editorial prodigy,” doesn’t it?

All-boy panel? All-gal session? Hopey changey panel? Okay, I know regular Twitter use takes off 20 IQ points, but sheesh … this crap would make a 16-year-old girl on magic mushrooms facepalm.

NRO = Heathers + pop-up ads.

“Mrs Schafly loves Sarah Palin and says she knows why feminists hate sp” Well that must be rare knowledge, indeed. I wouldn’t try to google it, nothing will come up

“Mrs Schafly loves Sarah Palin…”

riiiiiggggght.

More like “Mrs Schafly loves to sniff around Sarah Palin, looking for weak, tasty, spots.”

Does K-lo know what these people say about her when they think she’s not in the room?

And should be:

“All-Man-boy panel”

I may well have cited the VdGG lyrics this time last year, but wotthehell wotthehell

The captain’s in a coma, the lieutenant’s on a drunk;
the owner’s in his cabin with his special friend, the monk;
the midget’s on the bridge, dispensing platitudes and junk –
those wild and special places,
those strange and dangerous places,
those sad, sweet faces,
it’s a Ship of Drools.

The nurse in black seamed stockings, she’s already on patrol
for fake fur starlets panicked by the watering-hole;
everybody’s waiting for the drama to unfold
in those cold and treasured places,
those old and degenerate places;
those posed, posed, empty faces
it’s a Ship of Drools.

Where is an Exocet missile when you need one?

It must suck to be marooned on a boat with a bunch of drunks…and still be the girl no one wants to bone.

The bitterness fairly wafts off her fucking moronic “modesty” tweet.

This is another one of those “beyond parody” points;

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/my-very-own-tsa-nightmare/

The author laments having been humiliated by the TSA’s new regulations when passing through airport security. Why? Why? Why, oh God? People in the comments section commiserate and call him a victim of TSA political correctness, Napolitano totalitarianism, the thuggery of unionized feds, with one person even comparing this – wait for it – to “the policy in the camps in Germany.”

It’s just not right for Real Americans with their beautiful white skin to have to be treated in a way that should be reserved for filthy stinking hajjis.

How come the Somali pirates are never around when you need them?

“…just interviewed Phyllis Schlafly. could have been hours long…”

The implication being that Ms Schlafly won’t shut the hell up?

“How come the Somali pirates are never around when you need them?”

*guffaw*

Nobody expects the Somali Inquisition!

haiku-tweeting bastard.

I’m picturing someone farting poetry and deciding that a short format lessens the probability of shitting his pants.

FYFYFYWP

It can’t be said often enough.

How come the Somali pirates are never around when you need them?

Being good capitalists, they only hijack precious cargo. The NRO ain’t.

It can’t be said often enough.

I’ve tried twice to post the lyrics to the best of the numerous songs with the title “Ship of Fools.” Aaaaand, FY copyright laws:

We’re setting sail to the place on the map
From which no one has ever returned
Torn by the promise of the joker and the fool
By the light of crosses that burn
Torn by the promise of the women and the lace
And the gold and the cotton and pearls
It’s the place where they keep all the darkness you meet
You sail away from the light of the world on this trip, baby

You will pay tomorrow
You’re gonna pay tomorrow
You will pay tomorrow

Oh, save me
Save me from tomorrow
I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools
Oh, save me
Save me from tomorrow
I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools
No, no, I want to run and hide
Right now

Avarice and greed are gonna drive you over the endless sea
They will leave you drifting in the shallows
Drowning in the oceans of history
Traveling the world, you’re in search of the good,
But I’m sure you’ll like I knew you would
Using all the good people for your gallant slaves
As your little boat struggles through the warning waves
You will pay
You’re gonna pay tomorrow
You’re gonna pay tomorrow
Yeah, you’re gonna pay tomorrow

Oh, save me
Save me from tomorrow
I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools
Oh, save me
Save me from tomorrow
I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools
Where is that coming from?
Where is it going to?
It’s just a ship of fools

Who’s playing Klinghoffer on Skit Night?

Lileks is on board?

Where’s an iceberg when you need it?

Being good capitalists, they only hijack precious cargo.

They also have weight limits on hostages.

Mars also has no illegal immigrants.

Yet.

“El Cid said,
November 17, 2010 at 15:36

Mars also has no illegal immigrants.

Yet.”

I just hope they keep out the Irish.

I just hope they keep out the Irish.

Until they have enough spare liquid water and crops for fermenting, it won’t be a problem.

On the plus side, it’s a bit easier to guard the borders.

I just hope they keep out the Irish.

Caihn’t gow to Mers. No sod. And no beer.

BREAKING: Pirates who captured a cruise liner chartered by the National Review have made a ransom deman of only ten thousand dollars, saying it’s all they can afford.

“This is funny, you see, because offering to pay to have someone taken off our hands inverts the normal operation of a hostage transaction,” explained a spokesperson for the pirates. “I’ve spent hours trying to explain the joke to a Mr Lileks, but he just didn’t get it.”

Please do not send the NRO cruise to Mars. I believe someday [decent] people will live there, and I would rather not have them remember the first people on Mars to be the 21st century Donner party only with less survival skill.

Please do not send the NRO cruise to Mars.

Explain to them the astounding amounts of valuable metals and minerals in the asteroid belt.

Pirates who captured a cruise liner chartered by the National Review have made a ransom deman of only ten thousand dollars, saying it’s all they can afford.

Ransom of Red Queef

Not that making fun of K-Lo isn’t always a hoot, but the “.@” is a pretty standard twitter convention where you want to reply to someone, but you want all your followers to see the reply as well. (If you just do the “@” only people who follow both parties will see the respons.)

Yeah, but she still didn’t @edwhelennro. If she was just going to write his name, why did she put the period on the front of the tweet?

In other words, she’s still a fucking dumbass who couldn’t find the @ key or who thinks sentences start with periods.

“I would rather not have them remember the first people on Mars to be the 21st century Donner party only with less survival skill.”

But k-lo is some good eatin’. Well-marbled.

I’ve considered the fact that this cruise would be entertaining for, like, a day, but by Day 2, I’m pretty sure I’d want to jump into rabid eel-infested waters to get away from those people.

Yoohoo! TSA! We have a volunteer for the crotch grab/search.

She tries and tries to get a piece of that sweet TSA lovin’, but they keep telling her to please just go on. She once spent an entire morning going into and out of the boarding area with a heavily dogeared copy of the Koran, but still no play.

I’ve considered the fact that this cruise would be entertaining for, like, a day, but by Day 2, I’m pretty sure I’d want to jump into rabid eel-infested waters to get away from those people.
This cruise sounds like the first chapter of an Agatha Christie novel, where we meet half a dozen horrible people and the contrived reason they are all confined in a locked house.

How come the Somali pirates are never around when you need them?

Oh man, listening to the tweets and posts about how they want to go all “WOLVERINES!!” on their captors but they think everyone else is a quisling (and they probably would be) would perhaps be the funniest thing to ever happen in the entire universe. I wonder if anyone has ever done a tweeted play?

This cruise sounds like the first chapter of an Agatha Christie novel, where we meet half a dozen horrible people and the contrived reason they are all confined in a locked house.

Is it bad form to quote myself? in any case writing that last post gave me an idea for a mystery novel. It starts off as a standard mystery novel, only the detective decides to fail deliberately because the murderer bribes him and together they decide to frame the domestic help.

Did she really tweet about VDH’s penis?????

I wonder if anyone has ever done a tweeted play?

I haven’t seen one, but I have seen a tweeted novel. That was hilarious.

Damn you, Tintin! I was hoping for the final nail in her coffin! That she’d so embarrass herself, she’d slink back into the moldy grimy cave we found the hunchback that washes the dishes and rings the dinner bell in!

You’re assuming these people have a sense of shame, actor.

Former VP Cheney says at Bush Center groundbreaking: “This may be the only shovel-ready project in America.”

Except his grave.

Oh wait!

You’re assuming these people have a sense of shame, actor.

Just shortly after moaning that her bishop lost the veep election for some council?

Yea, I think that would be bad form.

.@andrewbreitbart: what msm did to george w for 8 years was “alinsky on steroids. It was to destroy the man, a wartime president.” #nrcruise

I don’t think anyone’s investigated who was behind the grassy knoll when Bush fell off his Segway.

re tsa screening protests: since when are we suddenly such a modest culture?

and again, the concept of “consent” totally escapes a conservative.

BREAKING: Pirates who captured a cruise liner chartered by the National Review have made a ransom demand of only offered to pay ten thousand dollars saying it’s all they can afford. for someone to take the the hostages off their hands.

re tsa screening protests: since when are we suddenly such a modest culture?

and again, the concept of “consent” totally escapes a conservative.

Look, cut her some slack. It’s the only way she can get a man to see her naked.

and again, the concept of “consent” totally escapes a conservative.

Plus, being immodest in dress or actions is exactly the same as being fondled by a stranger. Oh, wait a minute. That’s kinda the point you already made. *shrug*

I don’t think anyone’s investigated who was behind the grassy knoll when Bush fell off his Segway.

Or choked on that pretzel. Oh fuck, I guess it’s time I came clean–I rigged all his snack food.

Bill Kristol is just hoping that someday on another NRO cruise he’ll meet the next love of his life, since that’s where he first met Sarah Palin and loved her so much he wouldn’t shut up begging McCain to pick her.

Memo to self: Pitch idea for “NRO Love Boat” to Fox News

re tsa screening protests: since when are we suddenly such a modest culture? not complaining, just intensely curious.

bi/polar curious?

Slightly O/T, has anyone else ruminated* on the explosive growth in the number of nominal cultural villains we have? I’m guessing every era has them, and few outlive their times, but we’re out of control. Alinsky, Acorn, the Clinton of your choice, Nader, Chomsky, MLK, the mere mention of ‘community organizer,’ Kennedy (also your choice), etc. etc.

You go to the Civil War era, even hated enemy generals were treated with relative deference by both sides. I mean they were savagely lampooned, that being the golden age of political cartoons — but ‘opponent’ wasn’t a disqualification. I think Lincoln was probably the primary object of specific hatred, and one can make a fair argument that certain persons had their reasons, based in objective reality. Dr. Mudd, a few others got the ‘stock villain’ treatment for no particular reason. Otherwise, whether they were correct or not, at least people could identify reality-based arguments against their enemies.

I’d be fascinated to hear from Breitbart just exactly why Alinsky is evil. Or Acorn. Or what genuine example of socialest policy Obama has extended. At least with Lincoln the southerners could say, “well, he opposes the use of nigra slaves and don’t recognize our right to a separate nation founded on the labor thereof.” Obama has done almost everything the right wants.

Anyway, I mention this because these villains don’t last outside their own context: I think we basically have Judas, Pilate, Guy Fawkes, and Benedict Arnold left over from the past. Will children of the distant future be taunting each other with “Alinsky, Alinsky, don’t you try to pinch me?”

Also, thank you Whale Chowder, and such.

*VKloR

what msm did to george w for 8 years was “alinsky on steroids. It was to destroy the man, a wartime president.”

Funny how the next president along deserves whatever he gets even though he’s presidenting during those exact same wars.

Funny how the next president along deserves whatever he gets even though he’s presidenting during those exact same wars.

To be fair, he’s doing it while Black.

Spengler – an interesting point, to be sure. I too am curious to see if people are still spitting – for example – Algore’s name in the future.

The cast of villains thing, along with the fact that they’re so instantly hated for such inexpressible reasons, makes me think of the Two Minutes’ Hate only in a polyGoldsteinian system.

The fRighties apply the same sort of semantically-empty symbolism to actions, too. For instance, “supporting the troops” consists almost entirely of accusing other people of not supporting the troops.

By the way, am I the only one who spends a fair percentage of his waking hours figuring out what to do when the inevitable aggressive pat-down occurs at an airport? I want to make the papers, but I also want to appear completely innocent of intent to make the TSA look ridiculous.

The unbelievable level of sneering eye-rolling with which the ‘don’t touch my junk’ story was covered by the media raises the bar* considerably — I think you have to get the screener to somehow bean you on the sack with enough force to cause unconsciousness. Otherwise you’re just a commie terrist sympathizemerator.

We need a cause celebré on the side of the 4th Amendment, but it’s getting pretty hard to find a news story the networks can’t spin in favor of gummint authoritarianism. I think a TSA goon would have to be caught fisting a wheelchair-bound eight-year-old while the entire TSA heirarchy looked on, cheering — and even then, the girl would certainly have to be white.

*Vetc.

“supporting the troops” consists almost entirely of accusing other people of not supporting the troops.

…And also sending them off to be slaughtered in some hostile desert.

Spengler, I don’t think our descendants will have a clue who most of the right’s “public enemy number ones” are. They’ll just fade into the background.

Have you ever heard of Walter Reuther? I’m asking because I think of myself as reasonably well-informed about history, and I’d never heard the name anywhere until it got mentioned in passing in a Paul Krugman book. Fifty years ago, he was a hugely important man (far more so than Alinsky or Nader or Chomsky), and he was a devil incarnated for the right wing; Goldwater actually said he was “more dangerous than anything Soviet Russia could throw at us.”

But today, no one in my generation knows who he is.

Similarly, no one in my generation knows that President Eisenhower was declared a public enemy and communist agent by the right wing of his day – in fact, conservatives now remember his presidency as a golden age.

The list goes on.

The hysteria doesn’t stop, but no, I very much doubt of Alinsky or anyone else will go down in history as the next Mudd.

Hmm. History, the thing what we’re so good at. Judas: not bad guys – everyone pretty much agrees that they didn’t make those boys shoot themselves in the face. Pilate – um, hello? He and his minions have toned and strengthened the core muscles of some of today’s prettiest people. Guy Fawkes, no I dint like that comix. And Benedict Arnold – no man should be hated forever simply for having been married to Roseanne Barr. Oh. I may be wrong on that last one. Still, once you become pope, no one uses your last name any more. So it’s just Benedict, ja?

Still, as for history in pictures: those portraits….I swear it looks like the flower vase is going to attack the Shrub any second now. And the Laura portrait – it is very pretty. How did he get her eyes to have such a sparkle, or any light whatsoever? Anyway, it’s a keeper.

And Benedict Arnold – no man should be hated forever simply for having been married to Roseanne Barr.

That’s great.

Ransom of Red Queef

Marry me?

…And also sending them off to be slaughtered in some hostile desert.

Oh yes, there is that. And the ritualistic sucking-up to all things Soldier except for actual combat veterans who say war isn’t all that great. That’s why I said the accusations of non-support are almost the whole deal.

We need a cause celebré on the side of the 4th Amendment, but it’s getting pretty hard to find a news story the networks can’t spin in favor of gummint authoritarianism. I think a TSA goon would have to be caught fisting a wheelchair-bound eight-year-old while the entire TSA heirarchy looked on, cheering — and even then, the girl would certainly have to be white.

I’ve heard a story about a former rape victim being given the pat-down treatment during which she couldn’t stop sobbing; you’d think that’d be enough. But of course, as Alex Knepper teaches us, it’s Victorian frivolousness to claim that rape is an utter trauma.

We’re turning into a nation of sociopaths, towards everyone except the people privileged enough to be “Real Americans.” If you’re a PJM commentator getting patted down, sympathy will literally pour down on you like rain. But even then, no one gets angry that it’s happening. They’re only angry that it’s happening to them when it should be happening to these people.

I’ve heard a story about a former rape victim being given the pat-down treatment during which she couldn’t stop sobbing; you’d think that’d be enough. But of course, as Alex Knepper teaches us, it’s Victorian frivolousness to claim that rape is an utter trauma.

Jesus.

I don’t wish rape on anyone, but if I did, it would be on Alex Knepper.

So are they physically stopping the patted-down from recording the event openly? They should have a little stand where you can place your picture-taking machine (I guess everyone is using their cell-phones, yes?) so it records your experience. TSA shouldn’t mind, for what they are doing is wholesome and just.

I want to make the papers, but I also want to appear completely innocent of intent to make the TSA look ridiculous.

“It tickles! I can’t help it!”

Have you ever heard of Walter Reuther?

Head of the UAW, if I recall correctly.

I should just do it…. just drive the boat into reef, full fucking speed… no more whiny complaints about the food … or being hit on by desperate middle-aged women who can’t shut up about their best blog hit count day … or lonely closet-case guys following me around everywhere. Just go knock a hole in the bottom of the boat, I’d be doing the whole world a favor … probably get a fucking medal … don’t need one though, just to get this fucking cruise over with… if I hear one more fat fuck bitching about how small the toilets are, I’ll fucking do it … i’m never getting that image out of my mind … just sneak the crew into life boats, and then just plow this thing right into the big rock outside of harbor, full fucking speed …

For instance, “supporting the troops” consists almost entirely of accusing other people of not supporting the troops.

And putting yellow ribbons and yellow-ribbon magnets on things.

WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE YELLOW RIBBONS?

I don’t wish rape on anyone, but if I did, it would be on Alex Knepper.

You are a better person me, so I’ll wish it twice on him.

Oops

WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE YELLOW RIBBONS?

I wish they would. The song is about an ex-con.

(Yes, I know, there’s the whole “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” thing, but the thing is SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON!)

Should have changed my name back, and forgot a “than”, but at least I didn’t tag-fail.

What a great idea!
Something never tried before!
Market-based healthcare!

George W. Bush,
his portrait like his two terms:
pretty fucking bad.

Should have changed my name back, and forgot a “than”, but at least I didn’t tag-fail.

yet.

I had a dream just before waking up about an attack of chattering orange flying squirrels.

After reading those tweets from the cruise, I realize what it was about.

Damn cheetos.

Is it just me, or does anyone else not give a rat’s ass about going through one of those “makes you look like a naked ghost” scanners?

I have nothing of which to be ashamed, so … I dunno. Maybe I have some issues about not caring if someone checks me out whilst nekkid.

**shrugs**

Now, a pat down is a whoooole other deal.

Not gonna happen — at least, not unless I get dinner and a movie first. And then only on the second flight, because I ain’t that easy.

Well, okay. I am. But it’s the TSA, and I do have some standards.

all-boy panels can get off-color on #nrcruise (just finished all-gal session though, mercifully)

There ain’t enough brain bleach to get this image out of my head…

(Yes, I know, there’s the whole “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” thing, but the thing is SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON!)

Tony Orlando disagrees. You’ve got it mixed up in your haid. “She wore…” was poppularized in the John Ford flick of the same name.

Wasn’t she just begging for donations to their shitty magazine? Boasting of how some poor lady sent a half-day’s wages ($50) to NatRevew?

And now the writers are boozing it up on a cruise! How many Bailey’s Milkshakes can one buy for $50? I’m guessing 5 if one leaves a tip. But libertarians/conservatives don’t approve of tipping, do they?

And episode number 32,947 in “How Republicans are Helping Push the Country Over the Edge Forward”: John Kyl is holding up the New Start Treaty ostensibly because “we might not have enough deterrent capability” but in actuality because Obama cannot be allowed to win on anything.

Fuck.

Does anyone really expect me to believe these fuckers think 1500 warheads on each side is an insufficient deterrent? Really? This is a transparently obvious attempt to sabotage Obama’s foreign policy initiatives but does anybody say that in the fucking news? Oh no, wouldn’t want to offend anyone.

Fuck. Seriously.

Tony Orlando disagrees.

This statement is the 21st Century’s “Jesus wept.”

Now, a pat down is a whoooole other deal.

Been there, done that, bought the book.

I travel with a lot of camera equipment and scuba gear, and have to bring a dietary supplement in the form of a powder with me everywhere I fly, anyway, so I regularly get pulled out of line, despite doing everything they tell you to, to avoid being, you know, pulled out of line and holding up the process.

To protect some of my gear, particularly my regulator and various computers, plus camera shit, I stick them in carryon. It’s either that or have them “lost” before I get where I’m going.

My first pat-down came the January following Richard Reid. I smiled as much as I could, and resisted making the “buy me dinner” joke, which a) they’ve heard a million times already and b) probably makes them think you’re enjoying this, which makes them work harder at smacking your junk around.

It doesn’t get any more pleasant or easier by the fourth or fifth time. The good news is, the same TSA agents are starting to see me, and wave me through.

Tony Orlando disagrees. You’ve got it mixed up in your haid. “She wore…” was poppularized in the John Ford flick of the same name.

Yea, if only he had actually written the song, that might matter.

You know, “I’ve done my time…I’m really still in prison…” yaddayaddayadda

Is it just me, or does anyone else not give a rat’s ass about going through one of those “makes you look like a naked ghost” scanners?

Frankly, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there’s no privacy on airplanes. So if someone wants to look at me as a naked ghost, so me it. The TSA knowing my penis size is less of an aggravation than having them feel their way around it.

I’d like it if there was some sense of reality brought back into it, but it’s not going to happen – most Americans don’t fly and thus don’t give a shit.

And now the writers are boozing it up on a cruise!

In fairness, the cruise line probably gives the NRO a cut of the fares.

Frankly, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there’s no privacy on airplanes.

I still think…was it Al Franken?…flying on airplanes naked is the best way to go here.

Does anyone really expect me to believe these fuckers think 1500 warheads on each side is an insufficient deterrent? Really? This is a transparently obvious attempt to sabotage Obama’s foreign policy initiatives but does anybody say that in the fucking news? Oh no, wouldn’t want to offend anyone.

For the Republican base, the reason it matters is that we can’t afford to appear weak to the Russians or anyone else.

We have a nationwide insecurity, maybe even inferiority complex, about how the rest of the world views us and to make sure they don’t view us as weak. That more than anything else is what drives the conservative base’s views on foreign policy. It was always there to some extent, but losing Vietnam made it pathological and brought it to the forefront.

Of course the leadership’s doing it to short-circuit Obama, I’m just explaining why it resonates with the base, no matter how absurd it is.

We have a nationwide insecurity, maybe even inferiority complex, about how the rest of the world views us and to make sure they don’t view us as weak.

And yet, as you pointed out, we haven’t won a frikkin’ war since WW2 (OK, maybe Gulf War I…maybe) and even then, we had lots of help.

What’s the point in having more weapons than the next two nations combined if you can’t win a war? It’s like having a Hummer to go shopping because the parking lot might be wet.

It’s like having a Hummer to go shopping because the parking lot might be wet.

Have you ever seen a dirty Hummer?

K-Lo sounds like a good wholesome conservative woman. And sexy too!

Think she’d want to come back to my room and see my sex tape machine?

I have a script we can follow and everything. Unless it only works on slutty liberals.

The corporations formulating and enacting our New & Improved Police State (hat tip Stephen King’s Tommyknockers) want people to shrug and say “hey, it’s no big deal if the Government/Corporations wanna look at me nekid…”
Then they implement the real X-Ray scan where they really can look right thru you, and no one complains because, ya know, what’s a few more rads?

We MUST BE SAFE!. Nothing else matters!

Liberty? What’s that? Freedom? Just an effin’ word

The 4th Amendment doesn’t apply to air travelers, all travelers Americans.

And yet, as you pointed out, we haven’t won a frikkin’ war since WW2 (OK, maybe Gulf War I…maybe) and even then, we had lots of help.

That only makes them more insecure. And gives them more reason to blame the liberals. Stab in the back, doncha know!

The 4th Amendment doesn’t apply to air travelers, all travelers Americans.

Unless they’re PJM commenters.

Have you ever seen a dirty Hummer?

My point, precisely.

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs! Greetings from the NRO Crazy Cruise! It’s wild here on the high seas! Last night, we forklifted Jonah into a keg stand, and today, K-Lo, the Power Palinite, is downing Mississippi Mudslides like you wouldn’t believe! What are you clowns doing other than crying in your organic lattes about how Obummer’s going down down down in the polls? Or that ConservoMentum is rockin’ and your boots are knockin’ at the power of the National Review! The funky fact is, Da Cool Coach is really taking a gander to Phyllis Schafly and might be willing to show her a little bit of his TSA full body scan, if ya feels me!

You dopes just don’t get it! The NRO Cruise is where it’s at, Jack! Urban out.

Frankly, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that there’s no privacy on airplanes.

Are you kidding? There’s no privacy anywhere period. Just for kix, try keeping a daily tally of the security cameras you are being observed by “for your safety” as you go through your daily life–never mind somewhere like an airport. Then double the number, because you know you didn’t see half as many as you were seen by.

The scary thing is, there’s actually a “debate” in this country about whether you even have a right to privacy! Are you fucking kidding me? A debate? And of course, the ones who come down on the “no” side are the very same rugged individualist “libertarians” who wanna “keep the damn gub’mint outa mah bidness!” …unless, of course, there’s a remote chance someone might hurt me. Then it’s “give me liberty, but please don’t hurt me, I’ll do whatever you say!”

Kat is still having issues with the @ key and logic.

Have you ever seen a dirty Hummer?

Yes. Twice in the, what, fifteen years they’ve been produced?

Once, on the slickrock around Moab…there’s a company that uses Hummer H1s to take marks tourists out offroading. They’re actually pretty capable from what I could tell.

There’s also a Hummer club that actually takes ’em offroad. I seen pixtures!

That said, your point is precisely accurate; nearly every Hummer I’ve ever seen looks like it never leaves the garage except to get Buffy and the kids to ballet and then the mall.

http://www.aolnews.com/politics/article/fox-news-headline-on-president-obama-kids-book-ignites-sitting-bull-controversy/19720203

Poop. Meant to say,

For those of you keeping score at home, apparently, we’re going to keep re-fighting the Vietnam War, civil rights, the New Deal, the Progressive era, and… the Indian wars?

Incoming GOP congressman wants his health insurance NOW!

Now now now now now!!

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/11/16/gop_congressman_healthcare/index.html

This is an outrage! 28 days?! We are not animals! And this Chateau Lafitte… It’s supposed to be served CHILLED!

For the Republican base, the reason it matters is that we can’t afford to appear weak to the Russians or anyone else.

For the Republican base, the reason it matters is because 1) the leaders say it matters and 2) it was put together by the Kenyan Usurper. Don’t over think it!

Have you ever seen a dirty Hummer?
Only when I was getting them, and they were filthy and nasty. In the best possible way.

andrewbreitbart is a fearless warrior who deserves a lot of gratitude and support.

Even when there’s no risk of reaching the 140 character limit, twittlers feel like they have to abbreviate words, and leave off things like articles and punctuation

I’ve never had much trouble fitting a sentiment into 140 characters without mangling the language. The Chuck Grassley/Sarah Palin gibberish is a result of (1) laziness (2) shitty little phone keyboards (3) most of the characters are already consumed by the buzzword quota.

Also: fuck Lileks

“Only when I was getting them, and they were filthy and nasty. In the best possible way.”

My methods were supposed to remain a secret!

The NRO Cruise is where it’s at, Jacked!

Fixed for lockerroom goodness.

This is an outrage! 28 days?! We are not animals! And this Chateau Lafitte… It’s supposed to be served CHILLED!

Aspirin and man up, wuss.

My methods were supposed to remain a secret!

So the rumours about you giving head in the S,N! men’s room are not true?

Steerpike said, November 17, 2010 at 19:15
A bunch of stuff that was really awesome about privacy.

I agree that we’ve surrendered way, way, waaayyy too much privacy in our nation. From cars with GPS tracking that enables some yahoo in godknowshwere to know every place I go, to cameras at every intersection and in every business, to webcams that are built into laptops and used to spy on children, it’s almost as if someone saw 1984 as a how-to guide.

But if I have a choice between being scanned, or having a plane blow up, I’ll take the scan. And here’s why I see it a bit different when it comes to that:

I have quite a bit of control over my own personal safety in almost every case when just out and about. I can carry a gun, get self-defense training, etc.

The place I don’t have that control?

In a steel tube traveling a few hundred miles an hour five miles above the ground.

Plus, I find the scanner a LOT less intrusive than being groped by frustrated TSA agent.

That doesn’t mean I like it, and I would prefer no one to have to go through any such thing. I also think frequent fliers should be able to go through some sort of background check/pre-screen process that allows them to avoid it, thus preventing them from soaking up too much radiation and/or being unnecessarily fondled.

But that’d make too much sense, apparently.

Of course, I fly about as much as Brad Pitt pleasures himself to images of K-Lo, so maybe if I flew more often my opinion would be different.

This is an outrage! 28 days?! We are not animals! And this Chateau Lafitte… It’s supposed to be served CHILLED!
I offer sympathy and the same two pieces of medical advice offered by my high school PE teacher:
1) rub some dirt on it
2) walk it off
The “Quit yer crying, sissy!” is free of charge

In a steel tube traveling a few hundred miles an hour five miles above the ground.

Plus, I find the scanner a LOT less intrusive than being groped by frustrated TSA agent.

Isn’t it funny how these “BIG GUBMINT OFF MY BACK” folks are OK with government providing TSA agents for private enterprises….

But if I have a choice between being scanned, or having a plane blow up, I’ll take the scan. And here’s why I see it a bit different when it comes to that:

Your chances of being killed by a terrorist on an airplane are about the same as they are of being struck by lightning, while hitting a hole-in-one, with a winning lottery ticket in your pocket. The odds are infintely higher you will die behind the wheel within a mile of your driveway, or that your own children or housepets will cause your death, accidentally or on purpose.

The TSA refuses to release the number of terrorist incidents they have prevented, ostensibly for reasons of “national security”, but actually, I would guess, because that number is somewhere between zero and zero. In fact, there are any number of stories about how security specialist, journalists or plain smartasses have managed to smuggle everything but an actual nuke right past the screeners, while somebody’s blind granny was getting a deep cavity search 10 feet away.

The point is, we are so willing to sacrifice our privacy, our dignity and our rights for a bunch of meaningless theater that absolutely does not keep us safe.

The point is, we are so willing to sacrifice our privacy, our dignity and our rights for a bunch of meaningless theater that absolutely does not keep us safe.
If it were just people dying, clearly there would be no big outcry, life is cheap. But the problem is, every time a plane gets blown up it costs airlines and the bank who own most of the airplanes and insurance companies, a shit ton of money. And they hate that. So they demanded their bought and paid for representatives to Do Something! Just not you know, something expensive. Which is why we get the league of barely literate professional gropers and panty sniffers who are the TSA.

Hmmm…mutagenic radiation or having my junk groped by a mini-authoritarian?

Hello, Greyhound?

I can hardly wait for real high-speed rail.

But won’t they just start doing it there, too?

BTW, when we do stuff like this, aren’t the terrorists winning?

This ought to make you some friends at the security check.

This ought to make you some friends at the security check.

Gotta give that a big ol’ ROFL

Or these.

BTW, when we do stuff like this, aren’t the terrorists winning?

If by that we mean that the terrorists are supplying the citizenry with endless makework jobs then you can thank the terrorists for making the Democrats do what they can’t do on their own.

Hmmm…mutagenic radiation or having my junk groped by a mini-authoritarian?

Which is why I drive instead of flying. Plus, it’s easier to pull the car over to have a smoke.

The point is, we are so willing to sacrifice our privacy, our dignity and our rights for a bunch of meaningless theater that absolutely does not keep us safe.

My issue isn’t whether or not it’s the right thing to do. After all, I understand why they do it (theater), realize it’s not the best way to keep us safe (how’s about we stop doing stuff that makes more terrorists first?), and understand 100% the concerns (uber intrusion).

But with all that, it still doesn’t really bother me all that much.

Not sure why, but … well, there it is.

Guess I have too much other stuff to worry about about which to worry.*

**shrugs**

(* Pre-fixed for greatest pedantry!)

I’m starting the rumor that Mark D likes to have his junk felt by strangers. Who wants to help me spread it?

It’d be a lot sexier if they’d blindfold you first.

how’s about we stop doing stuff that makes more terrorists first?

I used to subscribe to that approach. Then I realized that terrorists are pretty much like Republicans. They’re just never going to be happy regardless of what we do their way.

Mind you, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop bombing the shit out of various backwaters or change our faux-faux-colonialist behaviors, but it’s only going to do so much.

Who wants to help me spread it?

The rumor, or the junk?

It’d be a lot sexier if they’d blindfold you first.

Yes! Now, we’re cooking with Crisco. Or rubbing it on our aching, engorged flesh.

I say if nothing else, they should at least offer us a drink first.

The rumor, or the junk?

OK, I’m up from my afternoon bebe nap and highly susceptible to lulz and silliness and this made me laugh.

It’d be a lot sexier if they’d blindfold you first.

You’d think they could at least issue leopard-print fake-fur lined handcuffs to the screeners.

Then I realized that terrorists are pretty much like Republicans.

There’s your rumour! Republicans are Al Qaeda!

You’d think they could at least issue leopard-print fake-fur lined handcuffs to the screeners.

And CDs of bow-chicka-wow-wow music.

And copes of my etchings.

You’d think they could at least issue leopard-print fake-fur lined handcuffs to the screeners.

Oh shit. *laughing*

when we do stuff like this, aren’t the terrorists winning?

Bing-fucking-O.

Mrs. Chowder and I recently took a trip to Italy. Our flight home was routed through Amsterdam. We went through security 1) in Rome, 2) In Amsterdam, where for no reason I can recognize they have passport control between two sections of the airport and 3) at the gate for the flight into the US, where we were interviewed, rapey-scanned and the bottle of water that we bought INSIDE FUCKING SCHIPOL AIRPORT was confiscated.

Oh.

And copes of my etchings.

Those aren’t so much sexy as horrifying.

Here’s hoping WC didn’t fuck the blog format again.

Those aren’t so much sexy as horrifying.

Leprosy is not sexay?

I’d prefer to send them on this cruise.

The B Ark!

It’d be a lot sexier if they’d blindfold you first.

don’t give ’em ideas, Substance.

yes, I tagfailed. Sue me.

Well. I appear to be in full blown outrage mode today; sorry if I bore you folks.

You know who just wrote a book about the Bush II administration that’s full of lies? This guy.

Karl Rove? Who dat?

I’m starting the rumor that Mark D likes to have his junk felt by strangers. Who wants to help me spread it?

That depends on whether or not you’re one of the strangers. 🙂

It does remind me, however, of a story.

[Penthouse Letters font] I never thought it would happen to me, but there I was, at the airport, when this hot TSA agent asked me to step out of line and come her way … [/font]

I used to subscribe to that approach. Then I realized that terrorists are pretty much like Republicans. They’re just never going to be happy regardless of what we do their way.

Kennedy made a comment during his presidency about how the hard right in America and the hard left in Russia complemented and needed each other – in other words, they were the exact same people adjusted for different prejudices.

[Penthouse Letters font] I never thought it would happen to me, but there I was, at the airport, when this hot TSA agent asked me to step out of line and come her way … [/font]

I believe that was a T’N’A agent… 😉

Of course, they aren’t facing an existential terrorist thr…

That’s when Kierkegaard gets hold of your private number and keeps ringing you at midnight to ramble on about “Fear and trembling”.

That’s when Kierkegaard gets hold of your private number and keeps ringing you at midnight to ramble on about “Fear and trembling”.

DINSdale!

Who wants to help me spread it?
The rumor, or the junk?

The Crisco.

Who wants to help me spread it?

Who left the barn door open?

In Amsterdam, where for no reason I can recognize they have passport control between two sections of the airport

Flights completely within the Eurozone use facilities dedictaed for that purpose. Other international flights use the other side. FWIW, Schiphol is among my favoritest airports. Train station right in the terminal and the best price on Bols Corenwyn _anywhere_, and the rest of the shopping aint bad neither.

Buenes Aires, OTOH, has (had?) two completely separate airports for international and domestic travel. Arriving from, say, Sao Paulo with a destination of Mendoza, you have to take a cab to complete your journey.

Existential terror threat #2:
Camus with biological-warfare capabilities.

Here’s my idea:

1. a condom filled nearly to bursting with rancid chicken salad is concealed in the bikini area. TSA screener gives it a squeeze, taut cylinder engorged with said substance* erupts, afflicted passenger cries out, “O God, my staph infection” and collapses.
2. ?????
3. FREEDOM!!! VOLVERINES ELEVENTY!!!!

*VgravitasR

Wouldn’t that be an existentialist terror threat?

Wouldn’t that be an existentialist terror threat?

Don’t get Sisyphussy.

1. a condom filled nearly to bursting with rancid chicken salad is concealed in the bikini area. TSA screener gives it a squeeze, taut cylinder engorged with said substance* erupts, afflicted passenger cries out, “O God, my staph infection” and collapses.

Dude.

Who wants to help me examine Pandora’s Box?

Kingubu started it:

And WTF is an “existential threat”, anyway?

Its when Nietzsche shows up at your door with a hammer, brandishing his giant mustache and muttering ominously about what nice idols you have and how it would be a shame if something were to happen to them.

Existential terror threat #3

Simone Beauvoir flashing her cootch.

FWIW, Schiphol is among my favoritest airports.

You’re less than one hour away from Belgium when you land in Schiphol. Is it the reason it is one of your your favoritest airports? Are you one of those Belgium lovers that came out a few threads ago?

Don’t get Sisyphussy.

I’m not Fondane your tone of voice, mister!

Don’t get Sisyphussy.

I’m not Fondane your tone of voice, mister!

The Plague on both your houses.

Similarly, no one in my generation knows that President Eisenhower was declared a public enemy and communist agent by the right wing of his day

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

Simone de Beauvoir flashing her cootch.

HappyCamper said,

Simone de Beauvoir flashing her cootch.

Terrorist!

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

After he warned about the military-industrial complex?

Shouldn’t be too hard.

You’re less than one hour away from Belgium when you land in Schiphol

True, but I don’t let it bother me.

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

Indeed, not hard at all.

Today, the mantle of McCarthy has fallen on a retired candy manufacturer, Robert H. Welch, Jr., who is less strategically placed and has a much smaller but better organized following than the Senator. A few years ago Welch proclaimed that “Communist influences are now in almost complete control of our government”—note the care and scrupulousness of that “almost.” He has offered a full scale interpretation of our recent history n which Communists figure at every turn: They started a run on American banks in 1933 that forced their closure; they contrived the recognition of the Soviet Union by the United States in the same year, just in time to save the Soviets from economic collapse; they have stirred up the fuss over segregation in the South; they have taken over the Supreme Court and made it “one of the most important agencies of Communism.”

Close attention to history wins for Mr. Welch an insight into affairs that is given to few of us. “For many reasons and after a lot of study,” he wrote some years ago, “I personally believe [John Foster] Dulles to be a Communist agent.” The job of Professor Arthur F. Burns as head of Eisenhower’s Council of Economic Advisors was “merely a cover-up for Burns’s liaison work between Eisenhower and some of his Communist bosses.” Eisenhower’s brother Milton was “actually [his] superior and boss within the Communist party.” As for Eisenhower himself, Welch characterized him, in words that have made the candy manufacturer famous, as “a dedicated, conscious agent of the Communist conspiracy”—a conclusion, he added, “based on an accumulation of detailed evidence so extensive and so palpable that it seems to put this conviction beyond any reasonable doubt.”

Not quite an op-ed piece, but certainly indicative of some of the hate launched at Ike.

Just looked up that O’Keefe story. Do a lot of people actually believe that any group that someone can make a complaint about should be destroyed, and that if a member of that group has a complaint about it is definitive proof that it should be destroyed? Nothing would survive that kind of scrutiny. Oral sex couldn’t survive that kind of scrutiny.

Don’t get Sisyphussy.

The Plague on both your houses.

You’re Heidegger’ing your own grave.

I’d make some philosopher jokes but I need to get to the market. It’s my Schopenhauer.

1. a condom filled nearly to bursting with rancid chicken salad is concealed in the bikini area. TSA screener gives it a squeeze, taut cylinder engorged with said substance* erupts, afflicted passenger cries out, “O God, my staph infection” and collapses.

Dude.

I wrote an entire novel of this stuff. Here on Sadly I give it away for free.

Okay, one more. I just Kant resist.

Okay, one more. I just Kant resist.

Don’t you Sartre with me.

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

It came from the John Birch Society – Robert Welch, whom Actor212 just cited, was its founder (and one of the co-founders was Fred Koch, the founder of Koch Industries and father of the two brothers who’re currently among the richest men in America and biggest funders of movement conservatism).

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Birch_Society#Eisenhower_issue) reports Welch saying this; “Eisenhower really be simply a smart politician, entirely without principles and hungry for glory, who is only the tool of the Communists? The answer is yes.” He went on. “With regard to … Eisenhower, it is difficult to avoid raising the question of deliberate treason.” (Tried to follow links to the actual article, but found them broken).

I suspect the reason Ike came under suspicion is because he was the first Republican President to be pro New Deal.

Philosopher puns? I thought we were doing existentialists.

I can’t keep them sartre.

“The reality is, most traveling men would not want Barney Frank to pat them down at the airport security checkpoint,” LaBarbera said.

But what about that swarthy well hung built TSA guy, Peter?

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Birch_Society#Eisenhower_issue

Rat bastard. Beat me to it.

Rat bastard. Beat me to it.

The Invisible Hand chose me.

More from Welch

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.conspiracy.new-world-order/browse_thread/thread/4a53131c464009b7

I thought we were doing existentialists.

Perhaps you could be our Gide through the wilderness, then.

If youze guys don’t stop this, I’m gonna Socrates down yer throat.

It’s my Schopenhauer.

Don’t put too many items in Descartes!

By the standards of the modern Republican party, Eisenhower WAS a lefty, commie-pinko-fag, but then, so was Nixon.

And Mussolini

And Ghengis Khan

And Attilla the Hun

I’m just sayin’: don’t make me Kumar-ver there.

These puns are a bunch of Kafka.

By the standards of the modern Republican party, Eisenhower WAS a lefty, commie-pinko-fag, but then, so was Nixon.

And Reagan is soon to follow. Heck, Bush was a actually a liberal, didn’t you know?

And Reagan is soon to follow. Heck, Bush was a actually a liberal, didn’t you know?

Reagan’s been a hardcore commie by their standards since the nineties at least, but they’ll never admit it; he’s too much of an icon to everyone else. They’ll continue to believe he would have supported whatever they stand for no matter how far right they go, even as they dismiss other people (Ike, Nixon, Bush, Bush, someday Palin) as commies and “liberals.”

Reagan’s been a hardcore commie by their standards since the nineties at least, but they’ll never admit it; he’s too much of an icon to everyone else

By “everyone else,” I mean their base. The intellectuals might be uncomfortable with a lot of his proposals, but they keep it to themselves.

Don’t put too many items in Descartes!

o0
♒

I did it! I killed the thread!!

Don’t put too many items in Descartes!

Also, too.

I did it! I killed the thread!!

Nope, we still have the fire down Belo.

Since we were on the subject of being groped by TSA agents, how’s about (wholly justified) a lawsuit?

And it’s not quite dead yet, stackzone. In fact, it’s feeling better …

If you could find some vintage op-ed pieces to this effect I would truly love it.

The New Yorker had a recent, lengthy article about the pre-cursors to teabaggerism. Pretty fascinating.

You guys have really found your Neitsche with these puns.

Yes! Nailed it!*

*Almost never contributes to pun threads.

How come the Somali pirates are never around when you need them?

They have standards.

Thanks, guys (re the Eisenhower stuff).

Because nothing says “I’M A TERRORIST!!” than crying because your teddy bear had to put through the x-ray machine.

I now take back every single thing I posted earlier in this thread.

Other than asking vacuumslayer if she was one of the strangers by whom I enjoyed being fondled.

That I’ll never reKant.

This is what happens when Lady Liberty drunk-dials an old boyfriend.

Becuase noting sayz “I’M A WRITER!!” than having typos scatttered throughowt ur writing.

Evangelicals is the cwaziest people!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2010/nov/15/3

(Admittedly, this sounds like an especially small subset of evangelical crazies, ranking somewhere among the snakehandlers and the Phelps clan.)

Wow. What a day. Been outed as both a marsupial and a TSA agent. And only Smut Clyde tried to come to defense…

You’re Heidegger’ing your own grave.

I have my own little Nietzsche, and I’ll thank you to stay away!

only Smut Clyde tried to come to defense…

Good thing he didn’t try to climb it. Our Brave Minute Men would’ve taken the illegal into custody and then where would we get our animated bald guy images, huh?

If youze guys don’t stop this, I’m gonna Socrates down yer throat.

To Hume are you referring?

DAMN YOU, VS! I was looking for the usual suspects!

I have my own little Nietzsche…

Huh, from your writings I wouldn’t have thought it was little. I thought you were Bultmann.

I thought you were Bultmann.

I’m more a Buber

*zing*

I’m more a Buber

As long as you’re not a Froude. I just hate fakey guys.

“Good thing he didn’t try to climb it. Our Brave Minute Men would’ve taken the illegal into custody and then where would we get our animated bald guy images, huh?”

Wha–? *scratches head*

As long as you’re not a Froude. I just hate fakey guys.

Book Marx this, lib. I’m real

from your writings I wouldn’t have thought it was little.

You’re thinking of Dr. Johnson.

Climb. de_fence. Climb over de fence.

Do I have to draw pictures?

I didn’t say it was a good joke.

Ok… I’m a little slow on the uptake. I get it now…except the part about animated bald guys.

You’re thinking of Dr. Johnson.

Don’t DeLeuze yourself…

There’s a “my” missing from your comment, VS. You’d think S,N!’s crack team of proofreaders would have spotted it before it hit the page.

Yeah I noticed. So of course I left the door wide open…

You’d think S,N!’s on-crack team of proofreaders would have spotted it before it hit the page.

I, uh, fixed that for ya.

of course I left the door wide open…

Um, Actor, can I have a cuppa tea?

The New Yorker had a recent, lengthy article about the pre-cursors to teabaggerism. Pretty fascinating.
And back in 1862…

Um, Actor, can I have a cuppa tea?

I have some very nice elderberry tea right here…

*sip*

Something about the closing the door after the horse escaped, but nevermind that…

Sometimes when the jokes are so obvious, I get a little Flusser’d

Sometimes when the jokes are so obvious, I get a little Flusser’d

It’s a Constant struggle, to be sure, and sometimes a real Paine.

*furtively glances around, fondles thread*

Oooh, looks like Bristol Palin got a little, um, excitable

Something something door open something something baby.

OK, that’s quite enough of that. Hitler.

By the way, did anyone check the Neilsen’s this week?

Palin’s debut was not even close to being the highest rated show, even on basic cable.

She lost to a gay sponge in brown pants.

(because Dana Milbank is a pussy)

Well, I’d tell WP to fuck itself but apparently it’s busy fucking me. Grrrrrr!

Well, I’d tell WP to fuck itself but apparently it’s busy fucking me. Grrrrrr!

*putting more water in the kettle¹*

¹VPregnancySexR

In the sponge’s defense, it’s sort of clever and mildly amusing.

In the sponge’s defense, it’s sort of clever and mildly amusing.

The intelligence factor plays into it

I’m going to make a veiled VR reference. Not sure how, yet.

Are we aware of this thing yet or not or

Yaaaaaaayyyyyy. Teh hamsters are safely back in their cages.

Also, I don’t know. Not the worst exercise of second amendment rights I’ve heard of, though pointing the damned thing at his wife is going too far.

Well.

I am seriously, seriously considering sending a strongly worded letter to the proprietors.

I may even demand my money back.

Of all the nerve, leaving us hanging like that. Shame, Tintin, shame!

Jack E: yes, it was discussed downstairs, I believe. Much hilarity ensued at the author’s expense.

Did everyone gang up to lock me out? What is this, like seventh grade? Didn’t any of you hear me out in the hall? First I was all, hey, let me in. Later there was just whimpering.

Now I’m just here to tell you I am so very very over you. I don’t care about any of you. I don’t need any of you. And now, being here, I have told you so. How about that? Yessirree, I don’t care, not one little bitty bit.

Still with the not caring. At all.

Gah. I’m going back to Cute Overload.

All I need is this chair.

And this lamp.

(Yes, I know, there’s the whole “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” thing, but the thing is SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON!)

Bowdlerized: ‘Twas a yellow garter.

Have you ever heard of Walter Reuther?

I have, but I’m also a third-generation UAW member who grew up in metro Detroit. You hear Reuther’s name mentioned on a few occasions in that milieu.

Did everyone gang up to lock me out?

Yes.

What is this, like seventh grade?

Really? You have to ask?

I don’t care about any of you.

Aww, c’mere and give us a lil’ kiss. You know you want to.

The Day The Hamsters Went Galt – 11/17/2010.
NEVAR FORGET!

Much hilarity ensued at the author’s expense.

Poor boy seems to have mistaken his feet for chewing-gum. When I read those comments I almost feel sorry for Fischer. When I can stop laughing long enough, I mean.

No philosopher puns from me – I’m just not enough of a shameless Husserl.

Also.

A tweet K-Lo wishes she could make but never will:

@andrewbreitbart loves my new vajazzlers. He says it’s a good likeness of Ronnie but doesn’t think he ever had such a thick beard.

And with that, I bid you adieu. Just try to sleep now.

Something about the closing the door after the horse escaped

Someone put Descartes before it.

I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet in connection with the new sexually explicit exam routines by the TSA, so here goes. To an assailant, one important goal of sexual assault is the control over and humiliation of the target, who is trapped in a dangerous situation and can only be liberated from it at the pleasure of the assailant. Bullies, rapists, and predators all know this, and for predators, whether theoretical or experienced, often being in a situation that can be exploited to abuse the vulnerable will encourage nascent impulses toward assault.

That the TSA is using the excuse of “national security” to sanction public conduct that would qualify for criminal prosecution if conducted by a private citizen is at the center of this accusation of abuse of authority.

And now I wonder whether, if women were in charge of the TSA, this entire conversation might be playing out differently. Say, not at all.

In the meantime, it might be time for all patriotic LGBT persons to volunteer to fly frequently, just to be able to greet TSA functionaries with a husky murmur of “C’mon and get me, mama and/or stud!” Does homophobia trump bullying? That would be one way to find out.

I haven’t seen anyone mention this yet in connection with the new sexually explicit exam routines by the TSA, so here goes.

McJ, that theme came up in the news yesterday, actually.

Hey, sam seder is talking about the wrong reverend fischer’s surreal screed right now (11:40 AM EST) on majority.fm. (return of the majority report woot woot.)

She’s still, um, at it:

I just heard a cayman cock crow three times
#biblicalsignsonnrcruise about 23 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

That’s some kinda code, right?