Nov
6

Nutrition And Beauty Advice From Arnold Alkon




Posted at 19:40 by Tintin
“Sneaky little sadlynautses”

Hey, I was wandering around the Internetz this morning when I saw our good friend Amy Arnold Alkon out digging one of his famous shit moats. So I decided to pay a visit to our favorite Los Angeles transvestite and see what’s cooking in the advice goddess business.

First, Arnold was upset about a story he read that said McDonald’s wasn’t really one of the best food options for kids. “Not so!” Arnold insists.

[I]t’s entirely possible to eat healthily at McDonald’s. … Since carbohydrates cause the insulin secretion that puts on fat … , you just order, say, the bacon-cheese Angus burger without the bun.

That way children can get each of the four essential food groups — salt, beef fat, cheese and pork fat – in one nutritious meal and grow up to be just as smart and healthy as Arnold.

Arnold also has recently penned an article in Psychology Today (under his nom de drag Amy, of course). The article is called “The Truth About Beauty,” a must-read if ever there was one considering that Arnold’s ideal of feminine beauty appears to be Lipsynka, an L.A.-based novelty performer who apparently provides Arnold with most of his ideas on wardrobe, accessories and haute coiffure. Well, not surprisingly, the point of Arnold’s article is that beauty is not on the inside at all but exclusively on the outside and that if women want to get laid they’d better concentrate on their Pilates and restrict their diets to those fat-burning bunless burgers at McDonald’s. Plus they need to buy more fetching clothes. (Yes, folks, you just watched the death of irony before your very eyes.)

Arnold’s column elicited a negative reaction at Jezebel which, apparently, really got his dander up. Not content merely to dismiss his critics as hairy-legged lesbianatical Amazons, as Arnold did here, Arnold went on to say, in a second post, that the Lezebels used comment moderation to, gasp, block a comment favorable to Arnold. Arnold, of course, would never ban unfavorable comments from his site.

And speaking of people writing about things they know nothing about, here’s a link to a post by Mr. Play-Doh and Bacon about feminine hygiene and cunnilingus. Srsly. It’s as if Jim Hoft suddenly wrote a post on narrative strategies and the phenomenology of memory in Proust.

166 Comments »

  1. gocart mozart said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:42

    Stupid unfunny Frist comment.

  2. gocart mozart said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:43

    Funny commercial from People For The American Way
    http://crooksandliars.com/bluegal/open-thread-513

  3. Pere Ubu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:44

    they’d better concentrate on their Pilates

    What part of the body is that? My anatomy books must be lacking.

  4. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:48

    That is a fine photoshop work.

  5. gocart mozart said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:52

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report
    “While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

    Six degrees of bacon

  6. Lesley said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:52

    Precious Amy would look less severe if she ditched the bun.

    But I guess the only buns she ditches are the ones holding the sawdust & offal McDonalds serves up.

  7. gocart mozart said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:53

    What makes you think it is a photo shop Substance?

  8. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:55

    Srsly. It’s as if Jim Hoft suddenly wrote a post on narrative strategies and the phenomenology of memory in Proust.

    Good to see you mentioning the Gateway Pundit (cundit?).

    MMfA has been trying to steal him away as their newest punching bag.
    ~

  9. Oblio's Cap said,

    November 6, 2010 at 19:55

    If you want to catch a bear, you don’t load the trap with a copy of Catch-22

    You would if you were trying to catch one that was smarter than the average bear!

  10. M. Bouffant said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:00

    By the way, regarding another bit of “is”/”ought,” somebody should put the word out to the Jezebellies that life is filled with “competition and exclusion.” You don’t help young women, or any women, by sitting around howling that things should be different, but by telling them how to compete and be included.

    An example: I don’t have a high-powered publicist to promote my book — or any publicist — yet I got myself on The Today Show, and in a media environment that’s more competitive than it’s ever been. How? Instead of just complaining that it’s difficult to get a book noticed (my joke: you can’t get on TV these days unless you have adulterous sex with a celebrity), I took steps to try to get noticed. I had Gregg make me up a special, attention-getting envelope, and when we were in New York, he dragged around with me all over media Manhattan as I left off books and packets in the envelope he made.

    Do not care to know what the “attention-getting” image on the envelope was. Glad to know Amy’s still working the hunter-gatherer status quo she’s been pimping. Savages!

  11. vacuumslayer said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:02

    It’s totally healthy to get beauty advice from a man…who clearly hates women.

  12. papa zita said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:09

    I take it Arnold is a big fan of KFC’s Double Down sandwich.

  13. tsam said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:13

    I took steps to try to get noticed.

    Being a fucking asshole is a “step”?

  14. RobNYNY1957 said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:15

    Someone should send Alkon a book on fallacious arguments so she can tick them off to see if she missed any.

  15. Oblio's Cap said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:16

    Being a fucking asshole is a “step”?

    It’s all (s)he knows.

  16. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:18

    Amy Alkon is no Mikki Nicholson.

  17. Till Eulenspiegel said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:19

    Since carbohydrates cause the insulin secretion that puts on fat

    I guess Italians must be massive blobs of lard, with all the big bowls of pasta they eat with most every meal.

    The weird shit people will do to avoid eating decently; it amazes.

  18. owlbear1 said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:21

    Shorter AA:

    Ya gotta pander and debase yourself for attention, sweetheart!

  19. M. Bouffant said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:23

    Early demand for a new thread. Now.

  20. Even more Pedantic Asshole said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:31

    [I]t’s entirely possible to eat healthily at McDonald’s.

    Actually, she is correct on this.

    Bring your own food.

  21. Another Kiwi said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:31

    Mikki roolz, non obeisantly

  22. Even more Pedantic Asshole said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:32

    Actually, some antibiotics might be warranted as well.

  23. Crissa said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:46

    I’m not so hot with calling her ‘Arnold’. Of course, they do it, and she does dress like a transvestite – overdone makeup and all – but really two wrongs don’t make a right, and the moral path and all.

    Bacon angus burger? Blech. She obviously doesn’t eat like she writes.

  24. Whale Chowder said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:50

    “And I should have a flying car and a mansion in Bel Air with servants and a shit moat.”

    Can’t believe y’all left that laying there for me.

  25. Skin Creams and Liposcution said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:54

    She obviously doesn’t eat like she writes.

    Modern Science Bitches!!

  26. owlbear1 said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:58

    [I]t’s entirely possible to eat healthily at McDonald’s.

    Prove it!

    One month, Amy.

  27. Whale Chowder said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:08

    Note to the menopausal painted doll: Troweled on makeup doesn’t make you look younger; it makes you look like an aging drag queen.

    Take it from someone who knows!

  28. Angus Bacon said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:10

    We went on ONE date!!

    ONE!!!

  29. Samwise Gamgee said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:17

    She’s leading us into a McDonald’s, Mr. Frodo!

    Mark my words, no good will come of this…

  30. Bingo Baggins said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:20

    Hobbit Burgers? It’s a cookbook!

  31. Tehanu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:42

    Lezebels rule!

  32. wuwu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:56

    huh. The mystery of the face behind goatse/ is now solved.

    It’s Amy Alkon!!!

  33. wuwu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 21:57

    grrrr. bad html.

  34. Teddy said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:03

    And speaking of cunnilingus:

    No, I would not want to eat Arnold Alkon’s man-snatch.

    I’m sure it smells of rotted salami and putrid mossy cheese.

  35. Pere Ubu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:24

    Commenter at Alkon’s blog (fifth link):

    Bingo – but don’t hold your breath, because the feminazis and other PC victim groups define themselves by, and organize their lives around, a stance of grievance towards reality.

    Feminazis. Yup. Asshole.

    Also. Thank god conservatives never define themselves by their greivances *coughPark51cough*

  36. Pere Ubu said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:29

    Also too. It’s so depressing/amusing to see the same damn names on every conservatives’ shitty blogroll – gotta have Volokh, gotta have some damn Islamophobia blog, gotta have Gateway Pundit… every. goddamn. time. Yeah, they’re the independent thinkers, fersure.

  37. DrDick said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:38

    Why is it that all wingnuts think they are experts on things they obviously know nothing about?

  38. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:39

    It really is becoming a wingnut article of faith to eat things they think will piss off strawman liberals, isn’t it? And then insist there’s some kind of government regulation telling them not to.

  39. DrDick said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:44

    It really is becoming a wingnut article of faith to eat things they think will piss off strawman liberals, isn’t it?

    All the while not realizing that we applaud their slow motion suicide and wish they would make the leap to using arsenic in their coffee instead of sugar and eating lots of cyanide laced pastries (tastes like almonds!).

  40. Irion said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:46

    Even shorter Amy Alkon:
    Tits or get the fuck out!

  41. EnfantTerrible said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:48

    It really is becoming a wingnut article of faith to eat things they think will piss off strawman liberals, isn’t it? And then insist there’s some kind of government regulation telling them not to.

    You know what pisses me off? Conservatives showing how smart they are by sticking their tongues in electrical outlets.

    Btw, someone should hack into Arnold’s Netflix account and stick “Supersize Me” in his queue.

  42. Pryme said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:50

    It really is becoming a wingnut article of faith to eat things they think will piss off strawman liberals, isn’t it? And then insist there’s some kind of government regulation telling them not to.

    In that case, I heard there’s a law against drinking transmission fluid.

  43. Anonima said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:52

    Btw, someone should hack into Arnold’s Netflix account and stick “Supersize Me” in his queue.

    A bunch of people already posted reviews of Arnold’s shitteous book on Amazon a year ago.

    I think I might just have a go at it again…

  44. loretta said,

    November 6, 2010 at 22:56

    At the risk of Alkon’s ire (she is infamously spiteful and obsessive), if you visit “The Advice Goddess” blog, you will find many, many bigoted, mean, irresponsible, judgmental, and snarky posts. What you won’t find is anything funny. How this woman is billed as “comedy” is beyond me.

    Where are all the men swarming around Amy’s beauty? Seriously. Does she even know what it’s like to BE a beautiful woman in this culture? Does she understand the harrassment, the difficulties in not being taken seriously, the constant hassle of being hit on since the age of six or seven, the disrespect, the disgusting weasels of all ages? She has no idea. Most naturally beautiful woman have a hard time of it in this society, despite her assumptions about how it’s easier for them to get opportunities, etc. Hardly.

    The best place to be beauty-wise is to be attractive, not too attractive, and not homely. If you are too attractive, you are threatening to everyone, both men and women. If you are homely, you have to work harder at some things, but many other less beautiful people will love you just fine. If you are in the middle, it’s fairly easy.

    Not going to judge where Amy stands, but she has no experience with being beautiful.

    Among other deplorable and ignorant opinions, Alkon presumes to judge, rather harshly and consistently, single mothers and, in particular, single minority mothers with multiple children. Now, if Alkon had ever raised a child, I would give her opinions slightly more credence. Here is a never-married, childless woman insisting that (based on the statistics that more criminals come from single-parent homes than not, which are valid facts but not the entire story) women of any age who have children out-of-wedlock are selfish and should be condemned.

    It’s opinions like these that give me pause as to her real motives. Why It’s surprising that Amy managed to avoid unplanned pregnancies in nearly half a century of femalehood. Either she is extremely infertile, lucky, still a virgin, or terminated one or more inconvenient little “crotch fruit” (as Alkon so colorfully describes babies).

    There are many important issues about which to be passionate, but the bizarre campaign to vilify single mothers or hoist yourself on a beauty petard seems strange coming from a barren and only mildly attractive (at best) woman.

  45. Anonima said,

    November 6, 2010 at 23:15

    …her real motives

    Her real motives are to vilify choices that present a direct challenge to her own sad state of affairs – that of a single, barren and unsuccessful dried up old hag.

    What’s so infuriating is that the Ginger Bitch makes attempts to seemingly care about children, about families, about marriages. But does she have children? Does she wish to start a family? Does she wish to be married? No, no, and sadly, no.

    How can someone who claims to care so much for these American values not engage in any of them?

    Because she’s a self-righteous hypocrite of the worst kind.

    Good grief, that Ginger Bitch is fucking vile.

  46. CRA said,

    November 6, 2010 at 23:41

    “It’s entirely possible to eat healthily at McDonald’s [...] you just order, say, the bacon-cheese Angus burger without the bun.”

    What would be the fucking point? I dunno if she’s in Los Angeles, but why not pay two dollars more and go to The Wood? The burgers are better in every conceivable way, except ubiquity. http://www.thewoodcafe.com/menu.html

    If you’re nearer USC, and in no mood for a reasonably-priced boutique burger, perhaps on account of the meat? Try Vegisoul. Who could reasonably object? http://www.vegisoul.com/htmldocs/menu.html

    Just a couple examples among many. A few dollars more, not including the drink; sometimes not even that. You’d be supporting small businesses that actually give you a hell of a value, unlike McDonalds. Good God. What is it with wingnuts. Such poor consumers. Advertising and contrarian identity issues trump all else, I suppose.

    In an American city, everyone knows an Asian joint that undercuts McDonalds on price (albeit for different fare). $4.95 specials with everything included, even in 2010. What the fuck, wingnuts. You’re not fiercely independent, you’re just lame. You can get more out of capitalism. You can recognize actual choice, in hated LA for example.

  47. wiley said,

    November 6, 2010 at 23:45

    It’s odd that these evolutionary psychologists and their light-minded followers fail to notice that one good-looking, wealthy man could knock up a host of beautiful and not-beautiful women, alike. Instead, they act as if every man is a prize who is entitled to what captures his eye and every woman should act accordingly.

  48. That Girl said,

    November 6, 2010 at 23:46

    Shorter AA: if you wear sweats and don’t put on makeup when you get home from work, you deserve it if your husband cheats on you.

    Actually, that’s not a shorter. She actually said that. What an asshole.

  49. James K Polk, Esq. said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:03

    What the fuck does Alkon know about being beautiful?

  50. Pryme said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:07

    if you wear sweats and don’t put on makeup when you get home from work, you deserve it if your husband cheats on you.

    Yeah, because the reason Tiger went on his All-Woman Tour and Brad Pitt got with Jolie was because their respective wives were so homely. Alkon’s so smart it’s scary!

  51. justme said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:11

    #

    Even more Pedantic Asshole said,

    November 6, 2010 at 20:31 (kill)

    [I]t’s entirely possible to eat healthily at McDonald’s.

    Actually, she is correct on this.

    Bring your own food four days worth of salami.

    ftfy

  52. B^4 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:13

    Between the McDonald’s plug from Alkie, and the bad vag odor story, the topic for today is pink slime.

    If this doesn’t kill the thread, what will?

  53. justme said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:15

    अमवा की डाली बोले

  54. justme said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:19

    from this

    The mango branch calls out

  55. gocart mozart said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:40

    “What you won’t find is anything funny. How this woman is billed as “comedy” is beyond me.”

    Not funny ha ha, but funny peculiar.

  56. B^4 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:44

    Hey, Gollum would enjoy eating at McDonald’s- the chance of ingesting a finger must be pretty high there.

  57. loretta said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:47

    @ B^4 – that was a scam perpetrated at Wendy’s.

    Now, Alkon is posting articles about new-age parenting where children sleep in the same bed as their parents, and her advice is that this practice ruins marriages.

    Why does Amy hate children?

  58. squat said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:50

    GAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccckkkkkkk!!!!!
    Holy shit.

  59. tigris said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:52

    Bacon angus burger? Blech. She obviously doesn’t eat like she writes.

    What, like crap?

  60. vacuumslayer said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:55

    Furthermore, women who don’t conform to amy’s standards of beauty should probably just crawl in a hole and die.

  61. B^4 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 0:58

    @ B^4 – that was a scam perpetrated at Wendy’s.

    Of course, that was in era before pink slime/E. coli conservatism. I’m sure mishaps at the abbatoir don’t slow down the line much, if at all, these days.

  62. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:12

    Try Vegisoul. Who could reasonably object?

    Not I! Dinner for me this pm was vegan red beans and rice, yum.

  63. B^4 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:17

    Vegans are just seitan’s pawns!

  64. Doctorb said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:17

    Thanks for the google image search — that Phoebe Price picture is fantastic!

  65. Doctorb said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:24

    I took steps to try to get noticed. I had Gregg make me up a special, attention-getting envelope, and when we were in New York, he dragged around with me all over media Manhattan as I left off books and packets in the envelope he made.

    Tobias Fünke: So fill each one of these bags with some glitter, my photo resume, some candy, and a note.
    Mae ‘Maebe’ Fünke: [reading one of the notes] “I know where you live, ha ha!” Casting directors hate this!
    Narrator: They really do.
    Casting Director: [cut to casting director's office] The glitter queen struck again. Never hire Tobias Fünke.

  66. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:25

    I can’t resist posting this.

  67. B^4 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 1:27

    Thanks for the google image search — that Phoebe Price picture is fantastic!

    Words fail me… and I’m pretty damn loquacious.

  68. Bilo said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:02

    OMG, you can almost see her squatch!

  69. Anonima said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:04

    Why does Amy hate children?

    Because she eats them.

  70. squat said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:09

    !!!!!!!!!!!

    Glad I re-named in the meta-thread.

  71. Bilo said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:11

    I just had the weirdest experience…

    I went over to Arnold Akon’s plantation of putrid mangoes, where I stumbled across this:

    http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2006/05/28/this_was_before_1.html

    Which youse guys probably busted on at the time. She almost got her ass beat in a parking lot. All she was doing was being her usual charming self. She’s lucky she’s a girl (?), and that the male she harangued was normal, not violent and/or angry. Or a fan of 2nd Amendment remedies.

    Hmmm, maybe an armed society would be a polite society, at least when it comes to Arnold Alkon policing private sector parking laws, er, rules, er, suggestions.

    Oh, and to make it weird, as I read this overlong, self-righteous, er, make that, as I read this Alkon post, my CD player was playing “Alibi”, by Elvis Costello, a song about all of the varied excuses people make for being assholes.

  72. squat said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:27

    Defends Alkon in the parking garage incident and heads for the hills.

  73. Smut Clyde said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:28

    justme said,
    November 7, 2010 at 0:15

    Wait, what, you can cut-&-paste Devanagari script?

    From justme’s link:
    the mango is also known as ‘pika-vallabha’, ‘lover of the cuckoo’.

  74. Amy's Asshole said,

    November 7, 2010 at 2:35

    Every time I see a photo of that puny dog on her blog, I am overcome with this urge to snap it’s mangy little neck.

    I fuckin’ hate dogs that look like hairy insects.

  75. M. Bouffant said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:01

    I’m more worried by insects the size of dogs. (Even the size of puny dogs.)

  76. Major Kong said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:07

    I fuckin’ hate dogs that look like hairy insects.

    My (14 pound) house-cat and I refer to those as “cat treats”.

  77. crid said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:10

    All. One. Guy.

  78. CRA said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:16

    “I went over to Arnold Alkon’s plantation of putrid mangoes, where I stumbled across this:” http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2006/05/28/this_was_before_1.html

    Wow. Amy Alkon is troubled, and not in a harmless way, or one that’s gonna work out for her. This person gives advice? SUV man was wrong on several counts. All but the first could have been avoided, attitudinally, without any emotional or material repercussions. And the first (his parking in a compact spot) was just garden-variety douchery. Healthy adults do not respond to simple acts of douchery with “hey, I’m wondering if your thoughts turn to Marines getting their legs amputated when you get gas. Naw… probably not.” This would not bear mentioning, except that she is an “advice columnist” and “journalist.” Those hats, they go very badly with the glasses. Crazy, crazy glasses.

    But re: my earlier post — I am sorry I assumed she would not shop at Whole Foods or eat good burgers and shit. It’s just that her a-factual defense of McDonalds seemed at odds with those activities. The only sense I can make of my visits to McDonalds is that it’s across the street, I am lazy, and I like fatty, salty foods.

  79. justme said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:18

    Wait, what, you can cut-&-paste Devanagari script?

    Oh, hell no.

    You can, however, paste into a unicode converter and copypasta the result.

    I was waiting for a chance to drop that. You don’t come across mango-related Sanskrit links every day.

    *An unicode? Doesn’t sound right to me.*

  80. Davis said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:31

    Nice seeing you around here, crid. What brings you around these webparts?

    And how’s that whole “gays make shitty parents” debate going with luj & patrick? http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/01/radical_fatherl.html#comments

    You know, you’re actually one of the few reasons I check back in Alkon’s blog so often. Your wit slays me.

    You gotta admit, she’s a big fucking hypocrite. Not sure why you’ve been there for as long as you have and been able to stomach all the hare-brained studies she loves to champion and then regurgitate to prove her measly talking points.

    And doesn’t it get old to see her cut and paste her arguments for the last 2-3 years? I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t keep them all on a TextEdit page somewhere, filed by various categories: “free speech” or “how i really love children.”

  81. jas said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:42

    How on earth have none of you brave souls out there made any efforts to make use of this?

    C’mon, a private session?

  82. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:44

    My bet is…THAT IS NOT THE REAL CRID. Just a hunch.

  83. M. Bouffant said,

    November 7, 2010 at 3:53

    $125.00/hr. to have Gollum-ella berate you over Skype? Such a deal!

    Any takers for a pool as to how long into the hr. before Amy starts suggesting what article of clothing might just come off, & for how much?

  84. Shell Goddamnit said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:03

    The woman is taking up far more space in many people’s heads than she deserves. I think some folks should maybe think about an eviction notice, if you know what I mean.

  85. M. Bouffant said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:05

    From Mlle. Alkon’s bog-roll, a necrophiliac assault on irony:

    Nathaniel Branden: self-esteem

    Yes, A. Rand’s boy-toy (birth name: Nathan Blumenthal) is A.A.’s “go-to guy” on self-esteem.

  86. digger said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:25

    Found this article.

    What’s especially noteworthy is the quote about Arnold Alkon:

    …she was “the most dumped woman in Los Angeles.”

    You don’t say!

  87. Anonymous said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:31

    Aside: don’t transfolks have enough shit dumped on them by society without lumping presumably-human females like Alkon and Coulter in with them?

  88. rodertrudis said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:42

    It is possible to eat healthily at McDonalds, we used to do it all the time when we were working building culvert forms for heavy rail during the summer in Atlanta and it would get so damn awful hot we took our lunch pails over to the McDonalds and ordered iced tea, just so we could eat our lunch in the air con. They never said anything to us. Also we got free tea refills and got to check out all the cute mommers with their little kids playing in the McDonalds playground. Cool.
    p.s. there’s something wrong with the chick in the picture. I mean she don’t have any titties or anything.

  89. Bilo said,

    November 7, 2010 at 4:57

    Naw, that pic’s pretty much accurate.

  90. Belinda Gomez said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:12

    So many brilliant thinkers comment here. Are you limp dicks jealous of Alkon? Or do you just have a lot of free time?

  91. Angry Geometer said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:26

    Stupid internet. Be more funny.

  92. gocart mozart said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:35

    Amy Alkon sockpuppet alert at 5:12 AHOOGAH!

  93. Davis said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:37

    You got me Belinda Gomez.

    Looking at Amy Alkon does indeed make my dick go quite limp.

  94. "Slim" Matt T. said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:40

    Aside: don’t transfolks have enough shit dumped on them by society without lumping presumably-human females like Alkon and Coulter in with them?

    I agree. Every trans person I know is pretty cool. Plus, I think Alkon looks more like Sandra Berhnhardt in The King Of Comedy, personally.

    Are you limp dicks jealous of Alkon?

    Jealous of what? I have red hair.

    Or do you just have a lot of free time?

    I just got off work. What’s your excuse?

  95. Sheesh said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:44

    Yeah, because the reason Tiger went on his All-Woman Tour and Brad Pitt got with Jolie was because their respective wives were so homely. Alkon’s so smart it’s scary!

    Also, I really love Ian Gomez, any relation?

  96. gocart mozart said,

    November 7, 2010 at 5:46

    Your comment was quite rude Amy. I was thinking about buying your book but now I changed my mind.

  97. M. Bouffant said,

    November 7, 2010 at 6:01

    We’re all independently wealthy. And verrrry powerful. Does that sound hawt?

    Are you good-looking, Belinda? What are you wearing?

  98. digger said,

    November 7, 2010 at 6:03

    So, just did a little light-hearted digging and lo and behold! I found pics of Arnold’s boyfriend, Gregg Sutter.

    His blog.

    Uhhh..nice deltoids , you fucking freak. Gregg looks like he could use your man genes to work out some definition for his neck.

    Sadly, this poor fella drank the Arnold Kool-aid. Here’s an interview where all he discusses is his man-lover, Arnold. This part in particular made me gack: When we do get together…we celebrate our love for each other.

    I wonder how they celebrate? By taking turns sucking on Arnold’s pale peen, perhaps…

  99. digger said,

    November 7, 2010 at 6:05

    These arms are disgusting.

    But some nights, Greg Sutter sighs while he lets those bulging veins roam all over his bloated and nekkid body.

  100. Mysticdog said,

    November 7, 2010 at 6:08

    Belinda Gomez said,

    Better trolls, plz.

  101. Lawnguylander said,

    November 7, 2010 at 7:05

    I call fake Belinda Gomez.

  102. Spengler Dampniche said,

    November 7, 2010 at 7:11

    Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.

  103. CRA said,

    November 7, 2010 at 7:14

    “So many brilliant thinkers comment here. Are you limp dicks jealous of Alkon? Or do you just have a lot of free time?”–Belinda Gomez

    I had never heard of her until today, but then I’m no regular, under any handle. I saw some low-hanging fruit. I mean to say she seems easy to criticize, and seems to deserve it.

    Traditions are strange here. On the one hand, “when in Rome,” but this “Arnold” business and the like is lost on me.

  104. Lancelot Link said,

    November 7, 2010 at 8:09

    I think some folks should maybe think about an eviction notice, if you know what I mean.
    An Alkon eviction notice would be nice. Perhaps I should serve one on my local paper, as it is infested.

  105. gocart mozart said,

    November 7, 2010 at 8:51

    Spengler Dampniche said,
    “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

    Ironically, Amy Alkon describes this exact situation and the best ways to respond in her award winning book “I See Rude People” availabe now in fine remainder bins everywhere.

  106. gocart mozart said,

    November 7, 2010 at 9:03

    “Traditions are strange here. On the one hand, “when in Rome,” but this “Arnold” business and the like is lost on me.”

    All it takes is time and patience and you to can be warped CRA. Welcome.
    Allow me to point you to this collection of greatists hits of Amy Alkon from the Sadly archives. Includes the classic chart topper Shitmoat Destroyer!
    http://www.sadlyno.com/index.php?s=amy+alkon

  107. Tintin said,

    November 7, 2010 at 10:03

    Anonymous said,
    November 7, 2010 at 4:31 · Edit

    Aside: don’t transfolks have enough shit dumped on them by society without lumping presumably-human females like Alkon and Coulter in with them?

    Every time we mention that Arnold/Amy looks like a transvestite, we get some predictable concern trolling about how we are being mean to transsexuals. I call this concern trolling because anyone who really cared about transsexuals would know the difference between transvestites and transsexuals. Let’s review the differences, shall we?

    A transvestite is a person who occasionally dresses in clothes normally worn by the opposite gender. Although some heterosexual men are said to enjoy this practice, it’s much more common among some gay men, Gay men in dresses are widely referred to as drag queens. Drag queens either put on a dress and heels for Halloween or cross dress on a regular basis as part of an entertainment act involving lip-syncing to disco songs and tearful ballads as well as Joan Crawford impersonations complete with wire hanger props.

    Drag queens often have drag names such as Bertha Vanation, Kitty Litter, Crystal Chandelier or in Arnold’s case, Amy. (By the way if you’d like your own drag name, take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name such as Coco Elmwood or Misty Livonia)

    A transsexual is someone who has either completed, or is in the process of, gender reassignment. When a male to female transsexual wears female clothing, that person is not a transvestite. Or a drag queen.

    We call Amy/Arnold a transvestite, not a transexual, because she favors clothing, heavy makeup and hairstyles favored by drag queens, particularly less-talented drag queens often found in small town gay bars earning drink money by lip-syncing to Tammy Wynette, Liza Minelli, and early Donna Summer.

    This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Press-On Nails. We know return to our regularly scheduled programming

  108. Smut Clyde said,

    November 7, 2010 at 10:16

    take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name

    I find that advice offensive. [Flounces].

  109. Sheesh said,

    November 7, 2010 at 10:30

    take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name

    I’ve of course heard this formula before, but want to note the terrible result in my case. I hate a white hamster, and my sister had a spotty hamster. They were named Salt and Pepper. Making my drag name:

    Salt Lima.

    My Wu-Name though is Lazy-Assed Destroyer which might be the best ever.

  110. Sheesh said,

    November 7, 2010 at 10:32

    Er, I had a white hamster. I hope that wasn’t Freudian, I liked that little guy.

  111. Smut Clyde said,

    November 7, 2010 at 12:14

    Since carbohydrates cause the insulin secretion that puts on fat … , you just order, say, the bacon-cheese Angus burger without the bun.

    (1) I am reminded of an early Bloom County strip which ends with the punchline “Now, just hold everything!” Can’t be arsed scanning in a copy, however.

    (2). Cheese, alas, is highly insulinotropic and really you might as well be mainlining glucose.

    It is not really that “the insulin secretion puts on fat”, unless you are talking to an audience of 10-year-olds. But I guess Ms Alkon knows her audience.
    There was none of this farting around with insulin and glycemic indices in my day; if we really wanted to eat more calories than we needed and have our metabolism handle them inefficiently, we had tapeworms, and intestinal bleeding. Kids today don’t know how lucky they are.

  112. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 12:54

    I actually pointed that article out to Tintin as a subscriber to PT (no credit needed, Tintin, you took it in a direction I never expected, and thanks for that picture that’s going to require mass quantities to unsee…)

    As I mentioned to Tintin, that article gives deep insight into the hurt we inflict on Arnold whenever we speak about his transvestitism. He’s actually *trying* to look feminine!

    I almost feel sorry for him. It does also explain his tendency to lash out at anything that annoys him, as if he can’t quite marry his effeminate looks to his maculine persona…

  113. N__B said,

    November 7, 2010 at 13:41

    take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name

    Fatty Beech is a poor drag name.

  114. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 13:58

    Fatty Beech is a poor drag name.

    Not in the BBQ community (Big Beautiful Queen. Barbecue, also)

  115. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 14:02

    (1) I am reminded of an early Bloom County strip which ends with the punchline “Now, just hold everything!” Can’t be arsed scanning in a copy, however.

    You kids are lucky, you don’t know how good you have it, what with this “Internet” at your disposal. In my day, we had to DRAW Bloom County from memory using twigs and bits of chewing gum wrapper!

    (h/t to Sub)

  116. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 14:27

    I read that exchange between Jessica and the mods over at Jezebel. Even assuming Arnold edited it to show Jessie’s best face, it seems to me that Morning Gloria could have let the original comment go, if Jessie hadn’t been so obviously anxious to see her comment up in lights to please Arnold.

    In other words, it was the subsequent (heavily edited) exchange privately between the mods and Jessie that got her ass banned, not the original comment.

    Which of course ruins Arnold’s story…

  117. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 14:36

    An example: I don’t have a high-powered publicist to promote my book — or any publicist — yet I got myself on The Today Show, and in a media environment that’s more competitive than it’s ever been. How?

    By being a douche. The Today Show specializes in douches. Why do you think Bush gave an exclusive?

  118. Jennifer said,

    November 7, 2010 at 15:00

    By being a douche. The Today Show specializes in douches. Why do you think Bush gave an exclusive?

    Seriously, who doesn’t know that only scumbags, the shallow and ill-mannered, and trashy people are allowed on TV these days? Real Housewives, anyone? Jersey Shore? Sarah Palin on Fox (and coming soon to reality TV)? Then there’s all the “ordinary redneck” shows. Shows about exterminators, truckers, alligator hunters, pawnshops, and people who believe God wants them to have litters of kids. Quite a far cry from “champagne nights and caviar dreams.”

  119. Snorghagen said,

    November 7, 2010 at 15:11

    Traditions are strange here.

    The ancient Ceremony of the Sadlys was performed in a fog-shrouded clearing deep in the death-swamp, as had been the custom since the dawn of time. Firelight reflected off of sweaty faces as the tribal members rhythmically grunted and belched, swaying in time to the primitive jungle beat of Creed. The hideous spectacle grew ever more frenzied as the crude music built toward a crescendo, until the dancers gave a final ear-splitting shout, turned, and leapt as one into the shit-moat, vanishing from view.

  120. actor212 said,

    November 7, 2010 at 15:28

    So, just did a little light-hearted digging and lo and behold! I found pics of Arnold’s boyfriend, Gregg Sutter.

    His blog.

    Interesting. It comes an error. Was that intentional?

    Apparently not, because when I typed in the address, same error comes up. And it can’t be that my IP is blocked, because I only log into Amy’s blog from behind my firewall at work.

  121. S. cerevisiae said,

    November 7, 2010 at 16:01

    Snorghagen said,

    November 7, 2010 at 15:11

    That was positively Lovecraftian. Well done!

  122. Spengler Dampniche said,

    November 7, 2010 at 16:08

    My drag queen name would be Kitty Rural Route 114. It’s don’t bleedin work.

    Has anyone pointed out for n00bs the tradition of leaping on micromemes — not dwarf mimes, let’s be clear, but in-jokes limited to the terrain of the site –an then flogging them until nothing is left but a single token word, or at most a short phrase? Hence V____R can be considered an entire comment, if it follows a quoted passage. Also mangoes, and also, also.

    That said, I’m a little disappointed to find a flame war didn’t start up around the transvestite/ transsexual topic, particularly when Tintin posted a clarification. I believe all teh rill trolz have left the area. This saddens me. So I’ll just mildly point out that there’s nothing wrong with either transvestitism or transsexuality or any other form of gender liberation, except if I think somebody is sexually attractive and that person turns out to be a chick with dick. Cuz damn. However that’s my hang-up, not theirs. I do know a gentleman with a vagina, an I’m fine with that because I wouldn’t have fucked him regardless of what gear he’s packing. I just don’t like pretty girls to sport heavy, vein-webbed boners. In every other way I’m fairly relaxed.

    WHO TOUCHED ME!!!???

  123. Thomas said,

    November 7, 2010 at 16:14

    My friend’s mother once made us bacon-burger dumplings, which consisted of 1 lb of bacon and 1 lb of ground beef baked in a pan with a few cups of flour (add while cooking to “eliminate” the fat), salt to taste. It was her specialty. If she had only left out the flour, it would have been a healthy meal.

  124. W. Kiernan said,

    November 7, 2010 at 16:14

    CRA: What would be the fucking point? I dunno if she’s in Los Angeles, but why not pay two dollars more and go to The Wood? The burgers are better in every conceivable way, except ubiquity. http://www.thewoodcafe.com/menu.html

    Oh come on. There’s a recession going on, and I haven’t got in 40 hours at work for three weeks out of the last thirty, so money is tight. I eat lunch at McDonalds at least once a week. I get an OK double cheeseburger and a small order of the best fries money can buy, and on the way I stop at a Pick-Kwik and get a can of beer. The total cost is $2.35 plus approximately $1.30 for the beer (price varies from store to store). Looking at the menu for this Wood Cafe, I see that their cheeseburger costs $9. I’m sure it’s a very good burger, but by the time you’ve bought something to drink and left a tip, what you’ve paid for lunch is enough to buy me lunch for an entire week.

  125. Sugar said,

    November 7, 2010 at 16:31

    You like me!

    You really, really, like me!

  126. CRA said,

    November 7, 2010 at 17:21

    Duly noted, W. Kiernan.

    It’s nice that you didn’t fall into self-serving rationales. Alkon fired me up with the silly notion that a meal quite unlike yours could be “healthy,” sans bun and I guess fries too. Jettisoning some carbs may be healthier, but scarcely qualifies as “healthy” in this case.

    I am glad you’re saving money in a way that makes sense to you. What little I read about Amy Alkon suggests that, like me, she is truly not struggling to make ends meet. She IS struggling to create flimsy rationales, in order to avoid hypocrisy I guess.

    My hypocrisy re: McDonalds (I do go there sometimes) is the lesser evil. I hope to avoid building a flimsy mental world in which hypocrisy is avoided by flipping out in parking structures (see above) and eating healthy bacon double cheeseburgers by removing the bun.

    I will help let this thread die now, except to shift gears: I’ll be damned if I will research whether this person being called a transvestite is one, or not. I always enjoy a good rundown of related matters (Tintin) but I wish someone would have just laid out Alkon’s status.

  127. tigris said,

    November 7, 2010 at 17:25

    Fatty Beech is a poor drag name.

    Whereas “Muffin University” sounds like where Fatty Beech got hir sheepskin. So to speak.

  128. lobbey said,

    November 7, 2010 at 17:41

    Shorter AA: if you wear sweats and don’t put on makeup when you get home from work, you deserve it if your husband cheats on you.

    NOT getting out the boat…… that is just fucken horrible…. and makes me realise that I should have been having an affair for the whole of my marriage as Mrs Lobbey eschews makeup and wear sweats all the time.

    However, unlike Lady Alkon, she can get away with it………. what a nasty piece of work.

  129. Blaco said,

    November 7, 2010 at 17:46

    “take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name”

    Kitty Cameron.

    Oh my god, it works!

  130. lobbey said,

    November 7, 2010 at 18:12

    My Wu-Name though is Lazy-Assed Destroyer which might be the best ever.

    Shit, mine is ‘Childish Gambino’, I mean really…..

    as for my pron/jail name; ‘Fluffy Merrycrest’…….. can it get any worse

  131. lobbey said,

    November 7, 2010 at 18:17

    The ancient Ceremony of the Sadlys was performed in a fog-shrouded clearing deep in the death-swamp, as had been the custom since the dawn of time. Firelight reflected off of sweaty faces as the tribal members rhythmically grunted and belched, swaying in time to the primitive jungle beat of Creed. The hideous spectacle grew ever more frenzied as the crude music built toward a crescendo, until the dancers gave a final ear-splitting shout, turned, and leapt as one into the shit-moat, vanishing from view.

    But I was told DKW’s mum/Tintin’s donger and/or T&U’s breasts were involved somewhere?

  132. N__B said,

    November 7, 2010 at 18:37

    Whereas “Muffin University” sounds like where Fatty Beech got hir sheepskin.

    No muffin tops without pants.

  133. Jennifer said,

    November 7, 2010 at 19:28

    I had a girl cat I bought for a penny from a little boy with 3 brothers who lived on the street behind us when I was 5. The boys had named her “Frank” so she kept the name. I did her a real mercy, too…the family’s german shepherd and she were fine together, but she couldn’t take the boys. At the time I bought her, she had run into a rain culvert to get away from them. I dribbled some milk down the curb into the culvert to get her to come out, and took her home to live with us for the next 8 years.

    In any case, I don’t think “Frank Ridgeway” quite has the je ne sais quoi required of a drag name.

  134. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 7, 2010 at 19:37

    “take the name of your first childhood pet as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name and you’ll have a ready made drag name”

    King High.

    Ummm, not so much. Male stripper at a Casino, maybe.

  135. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 7, 2010 at 19:39

    In any case, I don’t think “Frank Ridgeway” quite has the je ne sais quoi required of a drag name.

    Might be a member of Wall of Voodoo, though.

  136. digger said,

    November 7, 2010 at 19:42

    actor212, for your reading pleasure: http://greggsutter.com/wordpress/

    he looks like the kind who shuffles and lets farts escape on his way to the bathroom in the am.

    what a lucky, lucky guy. he gets his peen touched by these.

  137. Jill said,

    November 7, 2010 at 20:04

    My drag name is Bambi Quitman. Awesome.

  138. Lurking Canadian said,

    November 7, 2010 at 21:19

    In case anybody is still reading this one, I have a question about the “beauty myth” article. Most of it is just bog standard evolutionary psychobabble, and can thus be ignored, but then she says “feminism never caught on in France”. Anybody got a clue what that might mean?

  139. Larkspur said,

    November 7, 2010 at 22:06

    “Feminism never caught on in France”. What a curious statement. I will go all Jonah Goldberg on you and let someone else look up the facts and make an analysis, while I simply observe that in France, of course, you see women dressed stylishly, wearing high heels, and even painting their faces with understated but elegant cosmetics. In America, of course (and probably Canada), all that femininity stuff never caught on, and it’s one giant continent full of grim, combative androgynous creatures, all of whom make cosmetic manufacturers, fashion designers, and their attendant advertising industries weep like bitty babies, because they cannot make a dime – nor even a sou – selling lady accoutrements in North America. It’s a tragedy, really.

  140. Larkspur aka Sandy Lincoln said,

    November 7, 2010 at 22:08

    Oh! I almost forgot. What kind of drag name is “Sandy Lincoln”? The imagery is there, sure, but what’s so compelling about having taken the Town Car to the beach?

  141. wiley said,

    November 7, 2010 at 22:41

    Dirty Face Barbara. Not a good drag queen name.

  142. Charlotte Cozes said,

    November 7, 2010 at 23:07

    I’ve never heard of Ms. Akron before. From skimming her piece, I would agree she’s a lousy writer with ill-informed opinions. But why in the world make fun of her appearance by saying she looks like a man? First, she doesn’t, and second, if she did, would that be funny? Making fun of people for traits they choose, like our new orange speaker, is one thing. But making fun of people for things they can’t control (and in this case, aren’t even true) is pretty childish.

  143. not a gator said,

    November 7, 2010 at 23:14

    Lipsynka is cultured and attractive. How dare you compare hir to Amy Alkon. Fie!

  144. not a gator said,

    November 7, 2010 at 23:20

    I like the death of irony link… yes, a clownface who favors unflattering hats scolding women about outer beauty. Brings to mind the antisocial Mt Dew-gut 20-hrs-a-day-on-Evercrack geek who only dates Claudia Schiffers and above (read: no female has talked to him in years except for a) his mom, b) his 45yo guild sister, you know the one who lives in a trailer and likes to flirt with men younger than her son).

    Also the cover of her book–I see rude people. Yes, in the mirror, apparently.

    But who could forget the no-mini-fridge-for-the-salami incident! Standards have fallen!

  145. Klyde said,

    November 8, 2010 at 0:36

    Is her column still carried by any newspapers?

  146. not a gator said,

    November 8, 2010 at 2:47

    Re: Amy in parking garage–

    She deserved to get her ass kicked. She is mean and miserable. She also parked over the line (note her very own photos). I love the crap about her driving a 1st gen Honda Insight because of kids getting their limbs blown off in Iraq. Fuck, I was never in the armed forces, but I would want to punch her in the face for that. Also, too, if it’s THAT important why are you driving a car and buying imported cheese? Fuck you, bitch, and the smugmobile you rode in on.

  147. not a gator said,

    November 8, 2010 at 2:59

    wiley said,

    November 7, 2010 at 22:41

    Dirty Face Barbara. Not a good drag queen name.

    But an awesome noir name.

  148. Snuggles 2nd said,

    November 8, 2010 at 3:03

    As someone who has never commented on Sadly, No! I feel it’s worth mentioning that Amy Alkon, whom I had never heard of before, doesn’t look like a man, and that it’s terrible to make fun of transvestites, who are just people with weird taste in clothes, and that you’re all bad people.

  149. Doctorb said,

    November 8, 2010 at 3:09

    Oh yeah, that bit with the fuel-efficient car and the blood-for-oil stuff, what the hell? I sort of remember her fan base as being mostly the sort of libertarians who would really resent being lectured about their choice of enormous conveyance. Given what I think her politics are, I am suspicious that her choice of vehicle is primarily about in-your-face smug superiority and not so much anti-petro-imperialism (which would mean riding a bike and probably leaving LA).

  150. Larkspur said,

    November 8, 2010 at 4:46

    Charlotte, Snuggles, et al.: I totally agree: we are all bad people. For starters, those of us who look like men aren’t; those that are, don’t.

    We are very very bad. None of us started out that way, but it goes like this: you visit S,N! out of curiosity, come back a couple of times, then you make a comment. Then another one. All the while you’re meaning to bring fairness and lovingkindness into a patently hostile environment, and it doesn’t work. But you keep trying. Then one day you leave the critical-mass comment: you cannot see it coming, you can only look back and lament: “O, whut I wuz, an’ whut I become!” because you know that you have turned very very bad your very own self, and what’s worse, you will never, ever stop commenting.

    It’s a living hell. You should run, run, run like the wind. Don’t look back, just run.

  151. wuwu said,

    November 8, 2010 at 6:11

    Amy Alkon is a vile, shit-spouting, pasty-faced cunt.

  152. Butch Pansy said,

    November 8, 2010 at 8:16

    I’ve apparently been visiting Sadly No! for too long. I broke the rules like a bad girl to come up with my drag name: Tawdry Fistbottom. A good girl would have stuck with Pepsi Laurel. Eileen Eulich was already taken.

  153. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 17:29

    LC,

    What’s she babbling about?

    No. Fucking. Clue.

    That applies equally to my view and her opinion.

  154. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 17:31

    But why in the world make fun of her appearance by saying she looks like a man?

    As someone who has never commented on Sadly, No! I feel it’s worth mentioning that Amy Alkon, whom I had never heard of before, doesn’t look like a man

    Who said that? We say she dresses like a man trying to dress like a woman. We’re commenting on her taste in clothes.

    You do, um, read English, right? Cuz you sure can’t write it too good.

  155. Older said,

    November 8, 2010 at 18:15

    Nope, sorry, when you complain about the veins on her forearms, you are making fun of her appearance.

    I have veins like that on my forearms. It’s the result of having little or no body fat –most people’s fat is subcutaneous and it covers up those veins (which we all have).

    I am female, 5’10”, and weigh 170 lbs. So I don’t look much like Amy Alkon. But when I wear women’s clothing I do kinda look like a male transvestite. I can’t help it, it runs in the family, my daughter is the same (only taller).

    It’s not actually a matter of choice. I have no choice, I just look funny in dresses.

    So, y’know, she may be a moron (I’d say the evidence is persuasive), and her columns are repulsively smug, but it has nothing to do with her appearance. And y’all hurted my feelings.

  156. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 18:29

    Nope, sorry, when you complain about the veins on her forearms, you are making fun of her appearance.

    Quick Ctrl+F of the thread shows the only comment about the veins on her forearms was yours.

    Wanna try for another?

  157. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 18:51

    Listen, Arnold…it’s OK to post under your normal nym. We know it’s you anyway…

  158. Tintin said,

    November 8, 2010 at 20:59

    Older, as the one who started the Amy/Arnold business in the first place, and as I said above, my intent was to mock Amy for her choice in clothing. I’m sure if she ditched the silly hats and wore normal and stylish apparel she would look like fairly normal woman and not like Lipsynka on Halloween.

  159. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 21:03

    Arnold will enjoy this:

    The Twinkie diet

  160. Snuggles 2nd said,

    November 8, 2010 at 21:37

    What I love about the internet is that I can tell you I’m trolling and still someone will respond seriously.

  161. actor212 said,

    November 8, 2010 at 22:04

    What I love about the internet is that I can tell you I’m trolling and still someone will respond seriously.

    And the one thing I love about the Internet is I can tell you to your face you’re a fucking childish asshole who deserves the hemmorhoids he’s about to get, and know it still stung. :-)

  162. tigris said,

    November 8, 2010 at 22:19

    What I love about the internet is that I can tell you I’m trolling and still someone will respond seriously.

    Who can resist snuggles?

  163. Larkspur said,

    November 8, 2010 at 23:47

    Ah, to be so easily amused, snugs.

  164. Lawnguylander said,

    November 9, 2010 at 0:40

    Snuggles 2nd wins the thread.

  165. wuwu said,

    November 11, 2010 at 10:09

    165 comments later and Amy Alkon is still a vile, shit-spouting, pasty-faced cunt.

  166. Tiny Turd said,

    November 11, 2010 at 12:38

    I have never commented here before (I think), but you people are just plain mean for making fun of this Alkon person. After all, misanthropes are people, too!

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