Damn! Where were all these “sexually-assertive school teachers” when I was in high school?

This wasn’t an issue in Carey’s day, since I presume he was taught by Cotton Mather.

No, no, I kid. I’m not actually a wingnut.

But the Cubs certainly could win the Series. If, you know, every other team were struck down by lightning.

Awesome!

It’s so sick: Cubs fans are masochists *and* snobs too! Is there anything more insufferable than a self-pitying elitist?

It’s like you took the all the psychoses and rotten political tendencies of America and concentrated them into one group. Cubs fans are like the wingnuts of baseball.

Red Sox fans can be forgiven for their self-torture. For one, there’s no alternative at home; for another, the long drought actually consisted of a great many closecalls.

Phillies fans at least know they are losers. They have an honest and open self-loathing that’s refreshing. And they too lack an alternative team in town.

And yes, chris p (how’s Primer these days without the union, man?) is right: I’m a Cardinals fan and it galls me to no end to see these Cubs-loving retards all the time acting as if their team is some sort of historical equal of ours. Hell, they are fortunate they even get to see decent baseball; if the Cubs were in the League they belonged, those people would be watching fatass softball players beat the shit out of the Cubbies in a sandlot game.

Amazing. People who have eaten so much fat that they are now actually impervious to hard radiation. It’s like some sort of superhero Origin Story. Possibly from Toho Studios.

(bad subtitles)
“Mecha-Sumo is here!”
“His vast bulk protects him from the Space Gamma Ray Beams! Tokyo is safe!”
“Look in surprise! No bullets can penetrate his deep abdominal blubber!”

Two legs good, three legs bad!

With 64 percent of the U.S. population either overweight or obese, the problem is worsening, but it represents a business opportunity for equipment makers and hospitals, said Dr. Raul Uppot, a radiologist at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Pssht, 64%! The deuce, I say! Using the faaaabulous sliding scale of Gay Poundsâ„¢, a full 98% of Americans are fattie Mcfattingtons, give or take a couple of percent. It’s a somewhat complicated calculation, though. See, if 5lbs above an ideal weight are all rock-hard penis muscle, it’s all good. If it’s a beer-belly, though, it = OBESE!! Though I needn’t even utilize Gay Poundsâ„¢ to opine that those Red Sox Nation d00ds are in the morbidly obese category. And they were fairly young looking, too! What happens when they get older and really start letting themselves go? Eeew!
Gramps Roberts, still sharp as a tack in his third millennium of life, writes:

It’s about time that we probe an assumption that has insidiously worked its way into our culture — the notion that women are the guardians of goodness and grace, while all those male neanderthals are emissaries from the dark side.

While having Gramps Roberts start talking about “probing” things makes Brad nervous, I, for one, fear him not. Nor need the ladies. All the little blue pillz in teh world aren’t gonna put teh “sn4p” back in his shriveled sausage. I think the vast majority of his fury um, springs from that. Having conjured up that disquieting mental image, I bid this thread adieu!

On you way to the next topic, please to stop by the cupboard and eat a bag of dicks.

mikey

Crowded House: Chocolate Cake

Carey is missing the big picture here. Look what feminism has brought us. Back in the Harding Administration, if you wanted to have sex with your mistress in the White House, you had to do it in the uncomfortble, unsexy confines of the cloakroom. Since women became knuckle-sandwich-delivering, lying, menstruating warrior princesses, you get to get a hummer in the Oval Office. That is progress.

mikey