This Is A Job For Surberman!

More cutting-edge investigative journalism from the Pepys of Poca, the Muse of the Moonpie, the perennial Pulitzer wannabe-nominee Don “Jim Bob” Surber, this time to demonstrate that gays are a bunch of whiney-assed sissies and that the bloggers at Gawker aren’t as clever as Jim Bob:

5. From the Gawker: “Facebook allows users to list which gender of partner they’re interested in. But do you want Facebook’s advertisers to know if you’re gay? A Microsoft researcher has found a loophole which could secretly reveal a gay user’s sexuality to advertisers.”

Let’s see, you tell the world that you are a dude looking for a dude and somehow Facebook outed you?

Under the Even Gawker Should Display Some Logic rule…

“Ha!” Surber sputters. “Stupid faggots announce to the world on their Facebook page that they play for the other team and then get all huffy when their Facebook page has ads for mascara, high heels, lube and Key West sodomy spas. Further proof that teh buttsecks makes people stupid.”

Or, maybe further proof that Jim Bob never reads what he links beyond the first sentence or so, probably because moving his lips while reading tires him out so quickly, not to mention that all the big words past the lede are real confusing.

Also from “the Gawker:”

[L]et’s say you click on that ad for the nursing school that targeted its advertising only to gay men. You fill out an application and mention that you saw their ad on Facebook. The school now knows you’re a man who is interested in men, even if you’ve hidden your sexual preference using Facebook’s privacy settings. See why this might be a problem? [Ed. — “Don, we’re looking at you here.”]

Of course, if you’re comfortable enough to put it on your Facebook profile, you’re probably OK with some people knowing you’re gay. But whereas Facebook’s privacy settings allow you to choose who can see your sexual preference, you have no control over what information Facebook uses to target advertising. Facebook’s privacy policy states that it can even use “information you may have decided not to show other users (such as your birth year or other sensitive personal information or preferences) to select the appropriate audience for… advertisements.” Anything you put on your profile is fair game.

So, no, Jim Bob, you ignorant twit, this is not about Facebook outing people who have “told the world” that they’re gay. Instead, what it’s really about is your outing yourself as someone incapable of understanding simple English, something you might want to chew on the next time you decide to start complaining about dem furriners not speaking English.

 

Comments: 91

 
 
 

BEST_PHOTOSHOP_EVAR

 
 

[At least since you had this mook fucking a tailpipe…]

 
 

Facebook’s privacy settings

It’s really frustrating when a website that offers ‘social-networking services’ for the sole price of advertising promises privacy.

But it only works because people keep believing it.

 
 

Does Facebook have an option to subscribe and opt out of any information being divulged?

 
 

The reactionaries, having finally figured out & conquered the medium of AM radio about 70 yrs. after its introduction (& “conquered” it when there was no one left to defend it) will probably master the Internetz just about the time we in the real world have moved on to telepathy for our networking needs.

 
 

Does Facebook have an option to subscribe and opt out of any information being divulged?

Not in any functional sense.

 
 

telepathy for our networking needs

Ugh, that’s a dystopian future.

 
 

Oh my! Donbob has (indirectly) given me a glad. Key West sodomy spas. Those would be the spas at any of the gay guesthouses. Good times, good times indeed.

*drifts into fond reverie*

 
 

What, I mentioned it only for continuity with the thread downstairs.
DON’T JUDGE ME!

 
 

Ugh, that’s a dystopian future.

My guessreasoned, considered prediction is that all probable futures are dystopian.

 
 

Hey don’t dis my topian!

 
 

The Photoshop confuses me. Is he trying to fly, hitch a ride or lead a cheer?

 
 

The school now knows you’re a man who is interested in men, even if you’ve hidden your sexual preference using Facebook’s privacy settings.

Well, I guess we can look forward to a Republican Party in which gay rights are an important part of the platform.

 
 

OT but sort of interesting

From: XXX XXXXXX
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:49 PM
To: XXXXXX XXXXX; XXXX XXXXl
Subject: NPR staff meeting, off the record

So NPR had a long-scheduled staff meeting today that was mostly about JW *and off the record.* So David Folkenflik deliberately didn’t go, because then he couldn’t report on it. But he talked to staffers who did and then Tweeted on what *they* said. Interesting little dance…

http://twitter.com/davidfolkenflik#

 
 

“…Facebook page has ads for mascara, high heels, lube and Key West sodomy spas.”

And this is bad because…?

 
 

And this is bad because…?

Your wife may find out about your mascara, high heels, lube and Key West sodomy spa budget.

 
 

And this is bad because…?

WHERE ARE THE VELVEETA ADS?

 
 

WHERE ARE THE VELVEETA ADS?

That stuff is sooooo gooooood it doesn’t need advertising!

 
 

“Your wife may find out about your mascara, high heels, lube and Key West sodomy spa budget.”

Why do you think she married me? We met at the Folsom Street Fair.

 
 

MICROPENIS, probably not Donbob’s, though.

 
 

You know, targeted ads and data mining and suchlike are a direct result of idiots like Don pushing for unregulated corporate influence over our daily lives. You might say it’s HIS OWN GODDAMN FAULT if someone gets outed by ads on Facebook.

 
 

More Dear Prudence columns
Prudie counsels a woman who’s fed up with her boyfriend’s mistreatment of her furry friend

BE NICE TO FURRIES.

 
 

Doesn’t mean the article isn’t a particularly lame example of the “FEAR THE INTERNET” genre.

Do they really think that anyone’s using facebook’s ad targeting to out gays? Maybe it’s because I work for the internets, but freaking out about ad targeting is pretty laughable.

 
 

Oh fuck me. No wonder I was babbling to myself in the last thread…

*pout*. I was talking about PORK! PORK, people!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Cankle update!

I am bionicle.

 
 

If God works for the internets, why can’t I have more dependable wireless?

 
 

I am bionicle.

Avoid strong magnets. Especially the ones they have at pubs that drag me in by the fillings in my teeth.

 
 

Smut made me laugh.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Avoid strong magnets. Especially the ones they have at pubs that drag me in by the fillings in my teeth.

I’ll at least be certain to wear modest underwear.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, I won’t be able to walk for at least another month.

Oh yeah, and Surber’s a dipshit. But we already knew that.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

There have been 141 visits to that album. Pervs.

Yeah, I’m talking to all of you out there. PERVS!

 
 

I was talking about PORK! PORK, people!

Bacon Cat!

 
 

Vacuumslayer-laugh-making joke is not mine.

 
 

Bacon Cat is so random and silly. I approve.

 
 

Yeah, I’m talking to all of you out there. PERVS!

Does this mean we get bad Facebook advertising?

 
 

Actually it was “be nice to furries” that got me going.

 
 

In that case I have no qualms about blogwh*ring.

 
 

Surber is trying to fist god

yes, i said it

 
 

The fact is, you cannot fist God. He is high up in the sky next to Jesus and Rules The World and is really big, so you would find it impassible as a meer human, epsecialyl a liberal biased one.

 
 

Interesting that T&U’s lateral malleolus is displayed despite no internal rotation of the ankle joint

 
 

So Surber is pursuing another futile endeavour?

 
 

“Gary,” I am totally tongue-bathing the HELL out of that comment.

 
 

Mind the vajazzle magnet bars. Actually, frequent them If you’re into that kind of thing. Also, piercings, too.

 
 
 
 

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUWP

 
 

Shocking.

Virginia Thomas’ request for an apology from Anita Hill for accusing Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his Supreme Court confirmation hearings in 1991 has prompted Thomas’ former girlfriend to break her silence about the man she used to date.

Her story also includes explicit details of her relationship with Thomas, which she said included a freewheeling sex life.

Given that history, she said Hill’s long-ago description of Thomas’s behavior resonated with her.

“He was obsessed with porn,” she said of Thomas, who is now 63. “He would talk about what he had seen in magazines and films, if there was something worth noting.”

Who’d a thunk?

 
 

impassible as a meer human

Those meer humans are so darn cute! They can pass anywhere.

 
 

I cannot be arsed checking whether Balloon Juice has “Trying to fist god” as a category label yet.

 
 

Also, I won’t be able to walk for at least another month.

Have you tried jetpacks?

 
 

Teabagger says violent revolution may be necessary.

We heard shit like “the ballot box or the cartridge box” back in ’94… things could get really nasty if the GOP/Teabaggers do poorly next month.

 
 

Update on halal slaughtering: It is OK to stun the animal beforehand.

However, bed-wetters in the UK have just discovered that they have been eating NZ-import meat that meets halal / kosher requirements, and they are wetting their beds about the possibility that this might secretly islamify them.

Also halal: Costco lamb.

 
 

Truculent, do you sleep w/ your feet/ankles elevated? You could also get some stylish black knee-length “compression” stockings to force that shit back up.

A friend who has varicose veins (Damn yer lousy genes, Ma!) advises this works, & he’s got some sexy ankles.

 
 

Jetpacks….can hovercars be far behind? *wistful sigh*

 
 

Costco lamb:

The master cartons that Costco receives do have a Muslim Kill legend on them.

That may be interpreted very badly. In any/all directions.

 
 

Bacon cat is mighty calm.

 
 

PENIS!

 
 

There have been 141 visits to that album. Pervs.

Ya gots sexy bones, tutz.

 
 

Wait’ll DimBulb Surber spots this (In two parts): A & B.

 
 

There have been 141 visits to that album. Pervs.

Even if we weren’t pervs, and I ain’t denying we be, who could resist something advertised as a bionic cankle? I mean C’MON!

 
 

Bacon cat is mighty calm.

Bacon cat is concentrating on formulating the purrfect revenge.
~

 
 

I’ll at least be certain to wear modest underwear.

No underwires, certainly.

no qualms about blogwh*ring.

That’s right, you watch your fingers. Or: We know what you mean, pig!

 
 

Even if we weren’t pervs, and I ain’t denying we be, who could resist something advertised as a bionic cankle? I mean C’MON!

It’s like the Mutter Museum with typing!

 
 

Hello Mutter, hello fodder…

 
 

“He was obsessed with porn,” she said of (Clarence Thomas). “He would talk about what he had seen in magazines and films, if there was something worth noting.”

He often remarked that Anal Blasters 12 was derivative of Godard’s early style.

 
 

After Anal Blasters 8 that series really humped the shark.

 
 

Ooh, I bet that chafed.

 
 

This was totally a surprise.

Virtual border fence a $1 billion failure

The Department of Homeland Security is backing off what was to have been a multibillion-dollar effort to build an “invisible fence” that was meant to catch drug and human traffickers with cameras, vibration sensors and other high-tech devices.

Of the projected 2,000-mile impenetrable wall of technology that the project was supposed to supply, only about 53 miles of unreliable monitoring systems were built. And the price tag for that work, according to a report in the Los Angeles Times, was in excess of a cool $1 billion.

Clearly if we would only expand this budget, we could get up to 100 miles finished before systemic failures and bribery and ‘going around’ are revealed.

We could also put 1,000 lasers “in the sky”. And a million billion jabrillion border patrol agents with ‘shout to kill’ orders and also flamethrowers and also 100 foot tall tasers.

 
 

million billion jabrillion border patrol agents

I know a bunch of guys who could do that for cheap. Their English is not so good, but you can’t beat the price.

 
 

Of the projected 2,000-mile impenetrable wall of technology that the project was supposed to supply, only about 53 miles of unreliable monitoring systems were built.

but but but WOLVERINES!!1`1

 
 

Also.

Clearly if we would only expand this budget, we could get up to 100 miles finished before systemic failures and bribery and ‘going around’ are revealed.

It’s worked so well with missile defense, why not?

 
 

Conclusion: yet another in a long and never-ending stream of reasons not to use Facebook at all, which emerge on a regular basis. Funny how both Surber and many who appropriately ridicule his bigotry both still have one thing in common, which is looking for a way to make Facebook use not violate your privacy massively. It’s not possible.

 
 

Their English is not so good, but you can’t beat the price.

We ain’t hirin’ a buncha Pepsis to do that.

 
 

More fucking Surber:

Truth to power of the day

From the Seattle Times:

State Supreme Court justices Richard Sanders and James Johnson stunned some participants at a recent court meeting when they said African Americans are overrepresented in the prison population because they commit a disproportionate number of crimes.

Both justices disputed the view held by some that racial discrimination plays a significant role in the disparity.

Johnson also used the term “poverty pimp,” an apparent reference to people who purportedly exploit the poor in the legal system, say those who attended the meeting.

Sanders later confirmed his remarks about imprisoned African Americans, saying “certain minority groups” are “disproportionally represented in prison because they have a crime problem.”

“That’s right,” he told The Seattle Times this week. “I think that’s obvious.”

This should not shock anyone who has been paying attention.

The numbers are out there and have been out there for decades. For example, there is this chart on crime victims by race. Crime is segregated. Most crime is black-on-black, white on-white, or some other race on its own race.When blacks people are twice as likely as white people to be victims of violent crime, guess what? Black people are twice as likely to be in prison.

 
 

Look! Down there in the shit-moat!

It’s a dung-beetle! It’s a silverfish! No!

It’s SURRRRRBERMAN!

Mild-mannered wingnut by day, creepy DC Comics Cosplayer by night – SURBERMAN fights for Freedumb, Just-Us & the American Whey!

 
 

There have been 141 visits to that album. Pervs.

Mmmmmmm … implants … brb.

I’ll be in my bunk storage-pod.

 
 

Truth to power of the day

You know, pooping on incarcerated minorities is not really speaking truth to power.

 
 

Especially if you’re a state Supreme Court “Justice.”

 
 

which is looking for a way to make Facebook use not violate your privacy massively. It’s not possible.

1. For every true thing you say on Facebook, write one false thing.
2. If it wouldn’t shout it to your friend across a busy street, why are you putting it on the internet where literally anyone can read it? SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG, OBVIOUSLY.
3. There is no 3.

 
pupleitisOniondama
 

Would this be the second time in U.S. history that an American rebellion would be grounded in the desire to be oppressed, limited, confined, disrespected, and governed by arbitrary rules?

 
 

It’s like the Mutter Museum with typing!

Hunterian Museum for me but whatever.

 
 

Virtual border fence a $1 billion failure

I’d think the recipients of that $1 billion might differ with that assessment.

Clearly I am in the wrong business. For that money, I could have failed to hermetically seal at least 57 miles of border.

 
 

Conclusion: yet another in a long and never-ending stream of reasons not to use Facebook at all, which emerge on a regular basis. Funny how both Surber and many who appropriately ridicule his bigotry both still have one thing in common, which is looking for a way to make Facebook use not violate your privacy massively. It’s not possible.

Facebook got me laid by the girl I had a crush on all through high school, 20 something years later. Funny how both Surber and you have one thing in common, that didn’t happen to you.

 
 

Wow. Lotsa stuff here and it isn’t five hundred thousand comments yet.

MICROPENIS
The idea of Dear Prudence at a nudist resort has the effect of micro-ing a lot of PENIS.

I clicked through on the bionicle thing because I thought it had something to do with Lego™

Bacon Cat is pretty awesome. Now just waiting on Lettuce Cat and Tomato Cat.

PENIS!
Bill Maher knows his dick.

In Clarence Thomas’ defense, the late seventies and early eighties was an interesting time for pr0n. The advent of the VCR really changed the industry.

I know a bunch of guys who could do that for cheap. Their English is not so good, but you can’t beat the price.

OMFG. I LOL’d. Would LOL again.

PENIS.

 
 

the late seventies and early eighties was an interesting time for pr0n.

Bow chicka bow-bow.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Interesting that T&U’s lateral malleolus is displayed despite no internal rotation of the ankle joint

All I know is that I broke that bitch off and it was floating around. Especially after I fell a second time before surgery.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Truculent, do you sleep w/ your feet/ankles elevated? You could also get some stylish black knee-length “compression” stockings to force that shit back up.

Not as much as I should. It doesn’t help that my calf is majorly, MAJORLY atrophied. It’ll settle in, though.

I clicked through on the bionicle thing because I thought it had something to do with Lego™

Fair enough.

 
 

If you tug on Surberman’s cape, does POOP come out?

 
 

Please bring back the Hummer photo…

 
Marion in Savannah
 

There have been 141 visits to that album. Pervs.

I’m probably 142… Wow. It looks like they stuffed the whole hardware store into your ankle. I hope you knit fast. (Your bones, I mean, not a sweater or mittens…)

 
 

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