If You Don’t Say Good Things About Yourself, Who Else Will?

Another day, another plug at America’s Shittiest Website™ by Jo-Dough Loadberg for his new minimus dopus, the straight-to-paperback blockbuster Proud To Be Right.

A very nice piece about the collection over at The American Thinker

Oh my! A book review over at The American Thinker! That should be fun. And — are you sitting down? — it is, shockingly, a rave review.

Like Reagan did, and like the new crop of Constitution-faithful candidates must do, Proud to Be Right brings conservatism into classrooms, workplaces, and living rooms — into the real world. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher used to say, “The facts of life are conservative.” For the Tea Party movement to reach its potential, it must show America that she is right. A step in the right direction comes from a somewhat surprising source: America’s youth.

With reviews like this, can a National Book Award or Pulitzer Prize be far behind? The reviewers are Joseph Ashby and Drew Foy. I’ve never heard of them. Let’s see what the blurb at the bottom of the review says about them.

Joseph Ashby and Andrew Foy, M.D. are contributors to Jonah Goldberg’s new book Proud to be Right: Voices of the Next Conservative Generation.

That probably explains why the review singles out for particular praise the contributions to the book by — wait, wait! — Joseph Ashby and Andrew Foy. Now lest you jump to any mean liberal assumptions, I am pretty sure that the two reviewers agreed that the parts about Ashby would be written by Foy and vice versa.

And lest you jump to any even meaner conclusions about why Jo-Dough would praise a review of his book written by the very contributors to the book, I have been assured that Jo-Dough did not know that the review authors Ashby and Foy were actually contributors to his new book.

To sum up, Jonah gets other people to write his latest book for him, which has his name on it even though he likely hasn’t even read it, and then those very same people get to write reviews of the book. It is, as they say, a win-win situation.
.

 

Comments: 208

 
 
 

Up next, a review by bestselling author Jonah Goldberg!

 
 

HEH: A great review for Jonah’s new book by Glenn Reynolds, as linked by Megan McArdle.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Oh, how I miss “Spy” magazine. This is a perfect example for “Logrolling In Our Time.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logrolling

 
 

I’ve heard of logrolling but this, this is like logrecursion.

It’s like the log is swallowing its own head.

The log has slid up inside the log and logs are shooting out of the log.

Except the logs are more properly twigs.

Twiglatio.

 
 

A step in the right direction comes from a somewhat surprising source: America’s youth.

America’s mean, repressed, undereducated youth.

 
 

Yes … the teatards are totes in love with the Constitution — even professing how faithful they are to it.

Which, given the conservative track record, means they’re actually cheating on it.

And this ain’t logrolling — this is theeniredamnforestrolling.

Also, too.

 
 

Speaking of idiots who wrote a book, I go look up “Overton Window” at Wikipedia and what do I find but this:

Conservative talk show host and columnist Glenn Beck has written a novel titled The Overton Window, published June 15, 2010.

 
 

These guys must all be members of the tautology club.

-or-

They love their own book because they love their own book.

-or-

This is a circle jerk of the highest lowest order.

Pick your own ending!

 
 

Yes … the teatards are totes in love with the Constitution — even professing how faithful they are to it.

First Amendment; establishes Christianity as state religion and prohibits the exercise of Islam.
Second Amendment; has nothing at all to do with well-regulated militias or the security of free states.
Fourth Amendment; allows government to wiretap your phones.
Fifth Amendment; insures that the government does not need a warrant to wiretap those phones.
Sixth Amdendment; allows imprisonment without trial in Caribbean military bases.

Do I pass? Can I be a Very Serious Pundit as well now?

 
 

Do I pass? Can I be a Very Serious Pundit as well now?

David Brooks? Is that you?

 
 

Proud to Be Right brings conservatism into classrooms, workplaces, and living rooms — into the real world.

One must ask where the hell it’s supposed to have been all this time.

The American people had eight ficking years of it recently and should by all rights be all “DO NOT WANT”.

But yadda yadda catacombs yadda oppressed blart blart liberal media ack aga phooey.

 
 

Circle-Jerk or Clusterfuck? Inquiring minds are dying to not find out!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Circle-Jerk or Clusterfuck? Inquiring minds are dying to not find out!

For the love of heaven let it stop with just the two of them or it’ll turn into a human centipede…

 
 

Circle-Jerk or Clusterfuck? Inquiring minds are dying to not find out!
I think this actually qualifies as a ClusterJerk!

 
 

This New York Times piece pretty much sums up the stupidity of the Tea Party.

Here’s the kind of morons we’re dealing with from the extreme right:

A rain of boos showered Mr. Hill, including a hearty growl from Norman Dennison, a 50-year-old electrician and founder of the Corydon Tea Party.

“It’s [global climate change science] a flat-out lie,” Mr. Dennison said in an interview after the debate, adding that he had based his view on the preaching of Rush Limbaugh and the teaching of Scripture. “I read my Bible,” Mr. Dennison said. “He made this earth for us to utilize.”

It’s absolutely impossible to counter this kind of irrational stupidity. When you have working-class idiots like this voting against their own self-interest because they are uninformed, scared, angry, and spiteful, you can only shake your head and hope that the damage isn’t too horrible from this kind of widespread irrationality.

But you know it will be. UGH.

 
 

Just curious. Do Joseph Ashby and Andrew Foy have the same Hitler Youth haircut as Todd Seavey?

 
 

OT’ing early; liberal media giant Washington Post publishes gushing article “debunking” “Five ‘Myths’ About Sarah Palin” here http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/14/AR2010101404794.html?nav=hcmodule

This quote’s worth reading just for a commentary on how far politics have fallen in just thirty years;

To earn that second look, she may need to find a big idea. It’s hard to become president without one. Reagan had supply-side economics and the end of detente with the Soviets. Bill Clinton had the third way. George W. Bush had compassionate conservatism and the freedom agenda. Obama had national unity and hope and change.

Supply-side was bullshit, the end of détente questionable at best, but OK; those, at least, are policy suggestions, even if they’re bad ones.

Third Way politics; “take our policies and the GOP’s and meet halfway” doesn’t require much imagination, but sure, why not.

“Compassionate conservatism?” “The freedom agenda?” “National Unity?” “Hope and Change?” It is a sad fucking nation when these things count as “ideas,” much less “big ideas,” rather than “vague, mushy, transparent rhetorical devices which mean exactly dick.”

And to think it’s not even fifty years ago that things like the Civil Rights Act, Voting Rights Act, Medicare and Medicaid were being debated on the floor of Congress. How fucking far we’ve fallen.

 
 

adding that he had based his view on the preaching of Rush Limbaugh and the teaching of Scripture.

OMFG.

What the flipping mustard-based HELL is going on in this country?

METEORS. NOW NOW NOW

 
 

I’m thinking one of these guys might be using a clever pseudonym.

Joseph Ashby

or

The Beagle Master

 
 

Another gift from the New York Times piece:

“Carbon regulation, cap and trade, it’s all just a money-control avenue,” Ms. Khuri added. “Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

That’s the Tea Party, folks: they think the Birchers weren’t extreme.

 
 

It’s absolutely impossible to counter this kind of irrational stupidity. When you have working-class idiots like this voting against their own self-interest because they are uninformed, scared, angry, and spiteful, you can only shake your head and hope that the damage isn’t too horrible from this kind of widespread irrationality.

I’d like to see some numbers on the way people vote in this country –

Cause last time I checked, teabaggers were primarily a middle-class movement, with a lot of upper-class when you get to the top rungs – not a working class one. The average teabagger is older and wealthier than the average American. Even if you cut out all nonwhite citizens, I suspect support for the right from the working class would remain lukewarm at best (though the sense that the left no longer pays attention to them surely can’t help us).

 
 

A step in the right direction comes from a somewhat surprising source: America’s youth.

cf Todd Seavey

 
 

A step in the right direction comes from a somewhat surprising source: America’s youth.

Needless to say, this is good news for John McCain…

 
 

Oh, how I miss “Spy” magazine. This is a perfect example for “Logrolling In Our Time.”

Technically, no. Logrolling was when one author would actually WRITE a book the other author praised.

 
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

Man, that there is funny, I don’t care who y’are.

 
 

My boy has a nice penis. I should know! And it’s not much bigger than when I used to bathe him.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Technically, no. Logrolling was when one author would actually WRITE a book the other author praised.

Well. If you’re going to get all techincal and factual and shit, you’re right. But this mirrors the devolution of “writing” and “thinking” doncha know…

Facts iz hard. I can haz nap nao?

 
 

““Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

Holy shit!

 
 

“Facts iz hard. I can haz nap nao?”

Talk about lazy…Marion is getting the Lolcats to write her posts for her.

 
 

Facts iz hard. I can haz nap nao?

You jus put yo lil haid in my lap, darlin…

 
 

He made this earth for us to utilize

B-b-b-but the word “utilize” does not appear in the Bible! LIEBERAL!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

VS, with the amount of cat food I go through every month those little furry monsters have to start earning their keep somehow…

 
Marion in Savannah
 

You jus put yo lil haid in my lap, darlin…

I’ll try not to drool…

 
 

That’s the Tea Party, folks: they think the Birchers weren’t extreme.

You mean Eisenhower wasn’t a Communist agent?

 
 

I’ll try not to drool…

Oh, I don’t mind…

 
 

So, I guess it’s about time to start the Amazon tags.

 
 

Some people say I’m extremer, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too I’m not the only one.

Now with more Chapman

 
 

So, I guess it’s about time to start the Amazon tags.

On it.

 
 

GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM
GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM

 
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

Overton window, ladeez & gennimun! It’ll be here all week until further notice. Be sure to try the waitress & tip your veal.

 
 

“Compassionate conservatism?” “The freedom agenda?” “National Unity?” “Hope and Change?” It is a sad fucking nation when these things count as “ideas,” much less “big ideas,” rather than “vague, mushy, transparent rhetorical devices which mean exactly dick.”

I thought HOPE & CHANGE was one of the dumbest slogans ever.

 
 

To earn that second look, she may need to find a big idea clue.

To earn that second look, she may need to find a big idea good slogan.

To earn that second look, she may need to find a big idea get a brain moran.

 
 

FYWP

I made this great comment consisting of GOLLUM GOLLUM …. and you ated it. Fucker.

 
 

I call dibs on “bloated” and “pear-shaped.”

 
 

I think this actually qualifies as a ClusterJerk!

As more than one bird is a flock, more than one jerk is a cluster.

 
 

““Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

Head. Desk. Repeat.

What can you possibly say to people like this?

 
 

BTW, the Birchers still slither among us. There’s a big OUT OF THE UN sign here in town, and I know their newsletter still gets published.

*sigh*

I found a text file earlier today that I wrote summarizing a book on conspiracy and conspiracy nuts… back about 15 years ago when the Birchers were still too extreme for the public. Now we have people on CNN nightly who still do the whole “Communist international bankers” schtick and nobody bats an eyelash.

 
 

What can you possibly say to people like this?

“Go away.”

 
 

Oh, and

Conservative talk show host and columnist Glenn Beck has written a novel titled The Overton Window, published June 15, 2010.

Ah, yes. The day that Irony’s dessicated corpse was exhumed, skullfucked and thrown into a woodchipper that emptied into a blast furnace.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

What can you possibly say to people like this?

“Go away.”

You’re much more polite than I. I’m terser — “Piss off.”

 
 

More fun from Jonah (verbatim!):

This Just In: Keynes Is Dead
October 21, 2010 12:22 P.M. By Jonah Goldberg

Perchance Paul Krugman will rethink his longtime crush on Europe. Here’s the opening of a New York Times story, headlined “Europe Seen Avoiding Keynes’s Cure for Recession”:

LONDON — The British economist John Maynard Keynes may live on in popular legend as the world’s most influential economist. But in much of Europe, and most acutely here in the land of his birth, his view that deficit spending by governments is crucial to avoiding a long recession has lately been willfully ignored.

LOL, take that Krugman! Right? Sadly, no. The rest of the NYT article is about how austerity is making things worse, buttressed with quotes from DeLong and Stiglitz.

 
 

Boo tag fail. I blame a Muslim or something.

 
 

Some people weep for the state of American industry. Not me. Clearly we can and do produce world class morons at a blistering pace. Take that, China! I will put the stupidity of our electorate head to head with the best of the rest of the world’s ignoramuses any day of the week. Ours are just as dumb loud and mean as any group of drooling imbeciles you care to name.

 
 

Clearly we can and do produce world class morons at a blistering pace.

I blame Viagra. And Muslims.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

77south — that is just full of win.

 
 

I blame Viagra. And Muslims.
I was blaming Hottentots and White Russians, but perhaps I need to bring my prejudices up to date.

 
 

From the mango farm:

Our circumstances exposed the logistical impossibilities of trying to guarantee minimum benefits for 300 million people. A centrally administered redistributive tax system could never know us or our plans well enough to do less harm than good over the long term.

Hear that, loony libs? Good government is not merely impossible due to the messiness of the real world, but logically impossible. It’s like Zeno’s Paradox: for government to help 300 million people, first it must help 150 million people. And so on and so forth, infinitely. Therefore, vote Teabagger!

a powerful lesson for soon-to-be Tea Party officeholders and their supporters comes from a surprising source: the Democrats’ strategy in the Obamacare debate.

WOW. I knew those fuckers were dumb, but trying to imitate what the Democrats did during the healthcare reform debate? YIKES.

On a completely unrelated note, this editorial was written by a man who can legally prescribe narcotics. Is he a coke fiend in addition to being a Koch fiend? It would be irresponsible &c.

 
 

Ours are just as dumb loud and mean as any group of drooling imbeciles you care to name.

Plus ours are fatter–FUCK YEAH!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Oh, crap. Amazon tells me that I can’t add more than 15 tags per item. Choices, choices, choices… Should I go with “moobs” or “basement dweller?”

 
 

I was blaming Hottentots

I love those with cheese on top.

 
 

I was blaming Hottentots and White Russians, but perhaps I need to bring my prejudices up to date.

I skip the milk, just so I can blame the Blacks.

 
 

Should I go with “moobs” or “basement dweller?”

*giggle* Both mine.

 
 

Who posted “mildly retarded”?

Mildly? Really? Trig haz a sad!

 
 

Let’s just say, my little fingers have been flying over the keyboard.

 
 

Oh, yes. Pygmies too. Just what are they up to in the Congo? Do they continue their anti-colonialism while hidden from the gaze of an unsuspecting west?

 
 

Will Amazon allow “cheetopenis” as a tag?

 
 

What about the Hobbits? What is the hair on their feet hiding?

 
 

Communist international bankers

I swear to God it’s like they wish we’d lost the Cold War or something.

 
 

So, I guess it’s about time to start the Amazon tags.

Remember, folks, you can click over and simply check off the tags you agree with. You don’t have to put your own in, and it’s completely anonymous.

I highly recommend “ten pounds of crap in a five pound book” as a tag to click on.

 
 

The British economist John Maynard Keynes may live on in popular legend as the world’s most influential economist.

I think Adam Smith will probably hold that title into eternity. Other than him, probably Karl Marx. Actually, Marx is probably better known than Smith in the general public, though not always accurately. Keynes would lose to both of them.

See, this is how the right portrays themselves as revolutionaries. “Now, we know this is the conventional wisdom [it’s not]. But here’s what we think [repeat actual conventional wisdom that’s gotten us into the same mess the last five times].”

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I highly recommend “ten pounds of crap in a five pound book” as a tag to click on.

Oh, absolutely. There are other excellent choices, but I was all over this one like ravens on road kill.

 
 

Why do these guys even need blurbs? Don’t they just get conservative book clubs to pump up their sales by buying huge quantities for instant pulping?

 
 

I swear to God it’s like they wish we’d lost the Cold War or something.

Hell, according to them we were on the wrong side in WW2.

 
 

I was blaming Hottentots and White Russians

Sure, blame it on the cocktails.

 
 

BTW, yeah, I’m sure they wish we had lost the Cold War. That way they’d be able to whine about Commies ad nauseam instead of being challenged to come up with new boogeymen… though 9/11 didn’t hurt in that regard. After all, we had a bunch of Soviet-era holdouts in the Bush adminstration – why would we expect less of the wingnuts?

 
 

Hell, according to them we were on the wrong side in WW2.

But but but Israel!!! If we hadn’t won WW2, there’d have been no Israel! And then who’d be dying for our sins come Rapture time?

 
 

Double BTW and on topic: has anyone yet suggested “slovenly” as a tag? ‘Cause that video the other day – hoo-boy, this you want for a representative? At least Chomsky can keep mustard off his shirt, for God’s sake.

 
 

That way they’d be able to whine about Commies ad nauseam

As opposed to…

I mean, in any normal universe you’d be right, but they’re more obsessed with commies now than they were twenty years ago when they were still real.

 
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

No, really? I bet those crazy cakes would even call a 50 FOOT TALL ROBOT HITLER WITH LASER EYES extreme!

 
 

I think Adam Smith will probably hold that title into eternity. Other than him, probably Karl Marx. Actually, Marx is probably better known than Smith in the general public, though not always accurately.

It’s not like Smith is remembered accurately, either. Laissez-faire was not his bag.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

So glad I wasn’t eating yogurt when I read that. Yogurt spit takes are slightly obscene.

 
 

tigris, that’s cool…but fictional (we THINK). I used to pass by this bad boy on a fairly regular basis.

BTW, that bottom picture is pretty much best thing ever.

 
 

Robot Hitler, just not 50 feet tall…

 
 

actor, your Robot Hitler looks a lot like Marilyn Manson.

 
 

actor, your Robot Hitler looks a lot like Marilyn Manson.

Hey, not MY Robot Hitler, some other douche’s….

 
 

To sum up, Jonah gets other people to write his latest book for him, which has his name on it even though he likely hasn’t even read it, and then those very same people get to write reviews of the book. It is, as they say, a win-win situation.

Its called Vertical Integration and Hands Off Management..

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Women who don’t work for Cato get a free ride.

“Also, government benefits tend to make people dependent, which is too bad considering how long women have fought for their independence. The example I use is the one of Social Security: Women depend on Social Security more than men…At any time, Congress can reduce benefits even for people who have paid into the system their entire lives…I think it would be very beneficial for women to break their dependency now.”

In other words: “We’re going to take away your benefits, so you might as well just vote for us now and get it over with.”

 
 

“I read my Bible,” Mr. Dennison said. “He made this earth for us to utilize.”

Then why aren’t you and your fellow god-botherers just a little bit more upset about how much Exxon is charging for one of “God’s Gift”?

I mean if God created a finite amount of Oil then it’s belongs to all of humanity doesn’t it? Present and Future. Right?
On the other hand if God created an infinite supply, Exxon is just gouging the fuck out of everybody.

Why all the hatred towards scientists for saying, “it’s getting hotter.”?

 
 

Hey, not MY Robot Hitler, some other douche’s….
Look who’s sensitive about the size of his robot hitler.
Actor, it’s not the size of your robot hitler that matters. Its what you do with it.

 
 

Actor, it’s not the size of your robot hitler that matters. Its what you do with it.

OK. That made me laugh. Actually, I made sort of a snorting sound.

 
 

Yuh mean “Constitution-faithful candidates” like Christine O’Donnell? Hoo boy….Stupid really IS the New Republican…

 
 

Actor, it’s not the size of your robot hitler that matters. Its what you do with it.

I used to be able to penetrate the Bulge. Now, I can’t even annex the Sudetenland…

 
 

I used to be able to penetrate the Bulge. Now, I can’t even annex the Sudetenland…
I think there are pills that can help you with that.

 
 

I was blaming Hottentots

I love those with cheese on top.

Enough with the fucking Velveeta already!

 
 

Enough with the fucking Velveeta already!

Zombie cheese, the food that wouldn’t die.

 
 

Women depend on Social Security more than men. Based on Social Security data, almost 29 percent of women over age 65 rely on Social Security for at least 90 percent of their retirement income. That number increases to 46 percent for unmarried elderly women. These women are particularly vulnerable to changes in government policies.

Women who are particularly vulnerable to changes in government policy should support the changes in government policy that would harm them most.

tigris, that’s cool…but fictional (we THINK).

Only fictional until I get funding. Hmm, maybe 50 foot tall robot Jesus (with laser stigmata) would stand a better chance… if there is a merciful God I’ll be able to do both and they can laser duel it out in 50 foot tall robot thunderdome.

 
 

This is a circle jerk of the lowest order.

Circle jerks are offended at the comparison. At least they serve a purpose.

 
The Old Republican
 

Stupid really IS the New Republican…

Hey! What about us?

 
 

Enough with the fucking Velveeta already!

Fucking velveeta is legal in at least 13 states.

 
 

Based on Social Security data, almost 29 percent of women over age 65 rely on Social Security for at least 90 percent of their retirement income.

The moron does realize that most of those women were housewives in single-income households, a trend that ended uhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh….about forty years ago…..

 
 

Fucking velveeta is legal in at least 13 states.

And really exciting and hot in the others.

 
 

Fucking velveeta is legal in at least 13 states.

And really exciting and hot in the others.

Easy there, tiger. You get the velveeta too hot, and it ceases to be exciting, and becomes painful instead.

Not that I would know…

 
 

The moron does realize that most of those women were housewives in single-income households, a trend that ended uhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh….about forty years ago…..

Yeah. And why couldn’t they depend on their husband for everything instead?

 
 

And really exciting and hot in the others.
Exciting and hot, maybe, but it will still get you 20 to life in Texas.

 
 

Yeah. And why couldn’t they depend on their husband for everything instead?

And then those same husbands have the nerve to drop dead on them in their golden years! The NERVE!

 
 

You get the velveeta too hot, and it ceases to be exciting, and becomes painful instead.

ooooooooooooooooooooohmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Interest! Is there a newsletter, perhaps a website I might peruse hot painful Velveetae?

 
 

“Well let me tell ya … I used to have the sciatica really bad, but just one of jim’s comments cleared it right up overnight! Not only that, but I used one of his rare-but-brilliant puns last fall to clear up my dog’s mange – & since I started reading them two years ago, my PENIS is now at least twice its normal size!”

– a typical Interwebs lurker

 
 

“And really exciting and hot in the others.
Exciting and hot, maybe, but it will still get you 20 to life in Texas.”

I did not have sexual relations with that cheese-like substance, Ms. Velveeta.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Remind me not to eat the Rotel dip at the next SN! party.

 
 

Remind me not to eat the Rotel dip at the next SN! party.

I’m sure those red bits are peppers and the green ones cilantro….

 
 

I’m pretty sure I’d don a hazmat suit at any sort of S,N function.

 
 

The cubes began to deform and mingle in an pool of bubbling orange. I leaned closer, desperate for the sound of my deliverance.

DING!, rang the microwave.

Soon, I thought. Soon.

 
 

I’m pretty sure I’d don a hazmat suit at any sort of S,N function.

You might want to rethink that. I’m told the last Boston meeting had a “Pin The Tail On The DHS Employee” contest.

 
 

Velveeta – puts the fun in queso fundido.

 
 

Velveeta – puts the fun in queso fundido.
Ick.
More like:
Velveeta – puts the fun in Superfund site.

 
 

The Old Republican said,

October 21, 2010 at 21:16

Oh, c’mon! You guys had folks like Buckley who, even if you disagreed with him, still had more class in his pinkie finger than the entire Teabagger clan has. And Goldwater, who at least saw what was happening to the GOP as far as the Christian Right was concerned and wisely wanted nothing to do with it.

 
 

Oh, re: the Birchers…

from teh wiki

One founding member was Fred Koch, founder of Koch Industries, one of the largest private corporations in America.

See! They’re not extreme!

 
 

Has anyone put the tag “Rosacea” on the book yet?

 
 

One founding member was Fred Koch, founder of Koch Industries, one of the largest private corporations in America.

Yeah. That’s the biggest billboard for the validity of VRWC-based theories I’ve ever seen.

 
 

Has anyone put the tag “Rosacea” on the book yet?

*raising hand*

 
 

Okay, I know they probably still hate us for the Giant Sammich War, but Feministe brings the funny on Todd Seavey.

 
 

Another SC Wilson who’s a jerk.

We’re paying for this idjit lawsuit, but the state AG (McMasters) is claiming it’ll cost a lot less to prosecute this than OBAMACARE!!!1` would cost the state. Wankers.

 
 

Why all the hatred towards scientists for saying, “it’s getting hotter.”?

A few reasons:

1. That would mean they (Teabaggers) had done something wrong, and they do NOTHING WRONG EVER SO THERE! “We’re infallible and fuck you for suggestion otherwise” seems to be their mantra.

2. Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and others have spent years telling the Teatards (back when they were just run-of-the-mill tards*) that scientists, teachers, and anyone with above a high school education are liberalpinkofagcommie scumbags who hate capitalism because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!!

3. They are so incredibly, undeniably, painfully, and willfully ignorant and ideologically driven that they’ll accept this notion of thousands of scientists, at hundreds of institutions, in dozens of countries, getting together to perpetrate a hoax because … well, either because they just hate capitalism, or they want millions in grants, is what I’ve read/heard.

But they refuse — REFUSE with all of their might — any suggestion that a few dozen execs from half a dozen oil companies could have gotten together to lie about climate change in order to save tens of billions of dollars in profits.

4. Because they’re just simple Americans. These are people of the Heartland. The common clay of the new American Century.

You know … morons.

 
 

Hang on…the book was “published” October 5, and it’s already in the discount bin?

 
 

2. Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and others have spent years telling the Teatards (back when they were just run-of-the-mill tards*) that scientists, teachers, and anyone with above a high school education are liberalpinkofagcommie scumbags who hate capitalism because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!!

All the while releasing studies proving in painful, excruciating detail that conservatives are just as educated as liberals, just as intelligent as liberals, just as mainstream as liberals, and just as cute as liberals?

Continue the joke.

 
 

2. Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and others have spent years telling the Teatards (back when they were just run-of-the-mill tards*) that scientists, teachers, and anyone with above a high school education are liberalpinkofagcommie scumbags who hate capitalism because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!!

Cthulhu knows that worked well when the Khmer Rouge tried it.

 
 

But they refuse — REFUSE with all of their might — any suggestion that a few dozen execs from half a dozen oil companies could have gotten together to lie about climate change in order to save tens of billions of dollars in profits.

Conspiracies are only ever perpetrated by leftists and dirty brown people.

 
 

“We have no idea what we’re talking about. Tee hee! Math is hard!

Seriously. Anyone who believes that midterm elections are decided in September really ought to have his head examined. If the fucking media would stop with the polling results before October 15, we might actually get a chance to hear the goddam candidates.

They ought to all be taken out and shot.

 
 

Wow.

FOX actually has a line when it comes to ads by Republicans!

 
 

I’m sure those red bits are peppers and the green ones cilantro….

The big lumps are brussells sprouts.

 
 

Feministe brings the funny on Todd Seavey.
I for one was relieved when the author explained to the commentors that it was satire.

 
 

Gail Collins got it going on.

Oh..and the Rent Is Too Damn High Candidate? Has been living rent-free for years!

 
 

I for one was relieved when the author explained to the commentors that it was satire.

Yea, while Jill’s post was genuinely funny, the commentors there really don’t get the whole “humor” thing, do they?

 
 

Oh..and the Rent Is Too Damn High Candidate? Has been living rent-free for years!

We don’t rent, but I’d consider voting for him just based on the party name.

‘Cause it usually is.

 
 

We don’t rent, but I’d consider voting for him just based on the party name.

He’s a character. We usually don’t get those in NY. He seems more at home in Louisiana or California.

 
 

I highly recommend “ten pounds of crap in a five pound book” as a tag to click on.

Or just to examine.

 
 

Just a question, Is anyone here a landlord? How much is rent above and beyond, mortgage, tax and insurance anyway? 5% more 10% more? Is there a rule of thumb or is it just whatever the market will bear?

 
 

that worked well when the Khmer Rouge tried it.

We should pull a reverse-Pol Pot & put all the morans in education campsback in pre-school & start all over again.

 
 

How much is rent above and beyond, mortgage, tax and insurance anyway? 5% more 10% more? Is there a rule of thumb or is it just whatever the market will bear?

Generally speaking, including all overhead (but before property depreciation and amortization and income taxes) a landlord will make about 10%. After all that, probably 3-5% net profit (and maybe 6 or 7% on a cash basis)

 
 

Or just to examine.

I’m quite proud of that tag, thank you.

 
 

Yea, while Jill’s post was genuinely funny, the commentors there really don’t get the whole “humor” thing, do they?

They get Teh Funnay about as much as my six-year-old son gets particle physics.

I’d make a “humorless dildos” joke but dildos are, by their very nature and purpose, humorfull. Or at least a lot of fun.

 
 

Okay … whomever is responsible for the “blart” tag over there deserves some sort of prize.

And me a new keyboard.

 
 

Okay … whomever is responsible for the “blart” tag over there deserves some sort of prize.

Ditto “crest white strips”

 
 

“Mommy issues” was also classic.

Lots of win over there — including the “10lbs of crap … ” one. Well played, sir.

I haven’t checked to see if he (?) has done, or will do, one, but I can’t wait to see Jesus General’s review of that stuff.

 
 

Help others find the most relevant ten pounds of crap in a five pound book products.
Tag the products below that you think are related to ten pounds of crap in a five pound book.

I cannot remember how I used to fill my ten pounds of crap in a five pound book product requirements in the days before Amazon.

 
 

Help others find the most relevant ten pounds of crap in a five pound book products.

Anything by Glennbeck, the SavageWiener, either Limbaugh or anyone associated with The Corner.

 
 

“Mark D said,
October 21, 2010 at 23:00

“Mommy issues” was also classic.”

Athankee.

 
 

Flattering news for heavy drinkers: In two scientific studies to come out this month, researchers in the U.S. and U.K. found that smart kids grow up to drink more than their less intelligent peers. For the study, scientists classified children as “very dull,” “dull,” “normal,” “bright,” and “very bright,” finding that kids labeled “very bright” went on to drink more and more often than “very dull” ones. This held true later on in life, and when authors controlled for factors like education, class, and household stability. Scientists aren’t sure why a correlation exists between drinking and thinking, but Discovery News warns not to take it too far: “[A]lthough increased alcohol consumption could be a reflection of exceptional brainpower, drinking more will certainly not make you any more intelligent than you already are.”

No shit. Being intelligent, knowledgeable & rational in this world of vicious, greedy & hateful cretins makes self-medication vital.

 
 

Ditto “crest white strips”

Damn you actor!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Okay … whomever is responsible for the “blart” tag over there deserves some sort of prize.

*raises hand sheepishly*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Crest White Strips was pretty great, too.

 
 

Where in the bible does it say humans aren’t capable of fucking up the environment?

Sure, I’ll let you ‘use’ my playstation. But that neither implies you’re allowed to nor incapable of fucking it up.

 
 

s/use/utilize/

 
 

Goddamnit, I’d love to participate in the tagging fun but Amazon wants me to log in. Bah!

 
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

“They said Crippen was mad.”
“But Crippen WAS mad.”
“Well, that’s my point, innit?”

 
 

Not only do they want you to log in, but I don’t think you can tag right away after setting up a new account. I haz a sad.

 
 

“They said you was hung.”

“They was right.”

which I wanted to put in the hung/hanged bit of thread the other day.

 
 

Where in the bible does it say humans aren’t capable of fucking up the environment?

And actually, it says outright that humans can fuck up the environment:
Woe to you who add house to house and join field to field til no space is left and you live alone on the land.

The LORD Almighty has declared in my hearing:
“Surely the great houses will become desolate, the fine mansions left without occupants.

A ten-acre vineyard will produce only a bath of wine, a homer of seed only an ephah of grain.”

 
 

Garbage paragraph of the week from a commenter on that PJM article (http://pajamasmedia.com/eddriscoll/2010/10/20/juan-williams-commits-the-ultimate-kinsleyesque-gaffe/#comment-39597);

Finally, Islam is a serial murderer of entire cultures and peoples. This is what Islam has done throughout its entire 1400 year history. This is what it has done whenever it has finally gotten the upper hand in whatever culture is has opposed. Those whom Islam does not destroy, it enslaves, diminishes and impoverishes.

The fact that any Westerner has the face to say this after three hundred years of colonialism ought to be an obscenity. But this is America.

Islam strives for the conversion, enslavement or death of all who do not conform to its sadistic and cruel vision of Mankind. Islam cannot be ‘reformed’ in the light of humanity and freedom. Were that so, it would no longer be Islam.

Once again, it’s almost as if they want every single one of one or two billion people out there to try and kill them.

Re the comment itself, I’ve never understood this fixation on the right for why Islam cannot, just cannot evolve past its witch-burning phase even through Biblical religions have. This isn’t directed at Christian or Jewish conservatives, but at the Randian-type atheists (the Alex Kneppers and Bill Whittles of conservatism), who surely ought to know better.

Anyways, he saves the best for last.

For its psychopathic and cruel misogyny alone, Islam is an abomination and worthy only of extinction – to the last believer.

I wish that was the first call for genocide I’d read on PJM. It isn’t even close.

If someone needs proof that teabaggers are bigots, here’s exhibit A. Unfortunately, you can’t say that in public – Very Serious People have decided that it’s not bigotry if it’s anti-Muslim because Muslims deserve the bigotry and you’re the race-obsessed bigot if you say otherwise.

 
 

Where in the bible does it say humans aren’t capable of fucking up the environment?

The argument “humans can’t destroy the world because God is watching over it” kind of misses the point too.

The Earth’s been around for eons, it’s survived things that were probably far worse than what we’re doing to it right now, and life, in some form, has gone on even when those catastrophes killed of thousands of species (e.g. dinosaurs). The issue isn’t whether our fucking up the environment will destroy the world, but whether it will destroy (or at least significantly worsen living conditions for) us.

The Bible takes a dim view of suicide, my Christian brother.

 
 

The Earth’s been around for eons six thousand years or so.

Fixed for more dominionist creationist bullshittiness.

Interestingly, your point that the earth has seen and survived much worse than AGW was also made by George Fucking Will…as part of an argument that we should do nothing about AGW. Can’t be arsed looking it up; if you want your eyes to bleed, look it up yourself.

 
 

The argument “humans can’t destroy the world because God is watching over it”

God is an environmental hazard. There’s that whole business in Revelations that can’t be good for pandas and dolphins and such.

 
 

To [inaccurately] quote the Hon. Geo. Carlin: “The Earth will be fine; it’s the humans who are fucked.”

obBlartTag: cyclonanism

 
 

For its psychopathic and cruel misogyny alone, Islam is an abomination and worthy only of extinction – to the last believer.

I would back away carefully from anyone claiming that two billion people must all be killed summarily because they are all psychopaths.

 
 

Oh, and what does it mean that Proud To Be Right has been out for over two weeks but there are no reviews on Amazon yet? Are they disabled? (The reviews, not the reviewers.)

 
 

Islam strives for the conversion, enslavement or death of all who do not conform to its sadistic and cruel vision of Mankind.

Well, so does JESUS FAN BASE, you cretin. What the fuck did you think “Every Knee Shall Bow” was all about?

 
 

Goldberg writes that the purpose of the book is to show that “conservatives are people too.”

I guess I’m glad they chose to do so with words rather than pictures.

 
 

to show that “conservatives are people too.”
A close-up of the internal organs will convince me.

 
 

“If you want a picture of the Right, imagine a ketchup stain on a shirt — for ever.”

 
 

BTW, I finally got to drop my tags* on Jonah’s tome.

*veiled something-or-other reference

 
 

God is an environmental hazard…

And a fiendish imp to boot. Putting “eons old” dinosaur bones in the earth for us to find was too clever by half.

 
 

“Some people say I’m extreme, but they said the John Birch Society was extreme, too.”

Holy shit. She’s not just extreme; to paraphrase a teabagger sign, she’s the “extremEST”.

 
 

For its psychopathic and cruel misogyny alone, Islam is an abomination and worthy only of extinction – to the last believer.

To the last believer? Over a fifth of the human race? Including all the women he’s oh so very concerned about being treated cruelly? No, nothing psychopathic, cruel or misogynistic about that.

 
 

Godsdammit, Smut!

 
 

Oh, and what does it mean that Proud To Be Right has been out for over two weeks but there are no reviews on Amazon yet?

No one’s fucking read it, or possibly even bought it.

A close-up of the internal organs will convince me.

Not me! DNA tests, after the autopsy.

 
 

Now that I think about it, I know why his teeth are so yellowed.

Cheeto stains.

 
 

Coming out of lurkdom to note that I had not known of the Tags on Amazon before today, and I feel EMPOWERED with this knowledge.

And I added “Outsourced research”.

 
Blinking Emoticon
 

No one’s fucking read it, or possibly even bought it.

Those who would read it wouldn’t need to go to Amazon – they’d just pick one out of the case lots donated by FreedumbWerx to their local Teabagger Recruiting Centre or whereever these freaks meet.

 
Charlton Heston loudly
 

Hey, everybody! I’m only a week behind on my comment reading, but I just stumbled across this goodie! Add this to the “Ross Douthat Closet Watch”:

http://gawker.com/5456879/when-ross-douthat-was-that-guy-at-harvard

“His room is adorned with posters of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe – stars from Hollywood’s glamour heyday – as well as a towering tribute to Gladiator. “I think that Russell Crowe’s evocation of manhood is something all men should aspire to”, he explains…”

 
 

Woops, sorry, sometimes Charlton Heston speaks for me. Very loudly. You damned… dirty… apes…

 
 

Add this to the “Ross Douthat Closet Watch”:
http://gawker.com/5456879/when-ross-douthat-was-that-guy-at-harvard

Shirley this is an article from the Onion. “America’s long nightmare of meritocracy and achievement-dependent promotion is finally over.”

But from the article: “young Douthat began his career as the worst kind of writer: One who got into it for the money.”
Samuel Johnson had a few things to say about that kind of dilettante poser attitude.

 
 

Christ. Letting Amazon recommend books like Pantload’s pantload get you this gem by the Derb:

Derbyshire, a columnist and contributing editor for The National Review, confronts the “mendacity of hope” in this irreverent-sometimes-inflammatory screed. Appealing exclusively to American conservatives, Derbyshire impresses upon his audience the necessity of maintaining a pessimistic view of human nature; happy talk, he says, is for children, fools and leftists.

They really do like being miserable, Q.E.D.

Oh, and some wingnut’s new version of Hayek’s Road to Serfdom, and European intellectuals surrendering to barbarism, and populist revolt, and…

 
 

OK, FYWP for eating those posts. Bastard.

 
 

Seriously. WTF is up with the new cottage industry of Islamophobia?

Oh, it’s by Mark “Jizz” Steyn. Nevermind.

 
 

This thread is 10 pounds of win in a 5 euro bag.

 
 

Seriously. WTF is up with the new cottage industry of Islamophobia?

I’m not sure but it’s gone completely fucking haywire in the last year all of a sudden and that worries me quite a bit. The analytical part of me says it’s just Republican strategists stirring up the white trash so they’ll show up and vote in November, and as long as that’s all it is, fine – ugly but fine.

But as I point out often enough, rhetoric can have consequences. If your plan is to get all these people absolutely convinced that every Mohammed, Hussein and Ali in the country is on a personal mission to kill them, their family and their dog Fluffy, are they going to forget about that just because you’re in office?

 
 

Adolf Hitler has this to say about Rich Iott;

 
 

Conspiracies are only ever perpetrated by leftists and dirty brown people.

OMG! JANEANE GAROFALO & WHOOPI GOLDBERG DID 9/11!

 
 

The gift that keeps on giving; http://pajamasmedia.com/eddriscoll/2010/10/20/juan-williams-commits-the-ultimate-kinsleyesque-gaffe/#comment-39514

I don’t get the liberal/progressive penchant to support Islam. Islam, doesn’t have a state government, so who is going to “take care” of the people. Islam, in many cases, comes down hard on women. Islam doesn’t support gays. Islam is absolutely on the side of a higher power, and His authority. All of these things are resisted by liberals. Can anyone explain?

It’s all about team identities for them. They really and truly are unable to understand that people can disagree with Islam without despising all Muslims, wanting their religion abolished, calling for the murder of all who practice it, etc. The kicker is, it’ll never occur to them that if they were in the position that American Muslims were vis a vis the rest of the country, we’d be the only ones sticking up for them no matter how unpopular it made us.

It’s gotta be a really sad fucking life being a conservative – being divorced from things like principle for so long you can’t recognize them when they’re staring you right in the face.

 
 

Ms. Thatcher (piss be upon her) is not entirely incorrect about the facts of life being conservative. Blair, as it turns out, is a “spare the rod and spoil the child” sort of wingnut, and apparently had an advice column (or at least answered some letters) that make Amy Alkon sound like Dr. Ruth.

 
 

These guys must all be members of the tautology club.

The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.

 
 

He made this earth for us to utilize

B-b-b-but the word “utilize” does not appear in the Bible! LIEBERAL!

I know that “The Earth is The LORD’s, and the fullness thereof” doesn’t appear until Psalms, which is long after the boring parts about begats and the cool parts about hating on queers, so it’s not a big deal not to have read that.

 
 

The second rule of tautology club is that no one understands what tautology is, but still throws it around like other inexplicable phrases like “straw man” and “socialism”.

 
 

Seriously. WTF is up with the new cottage industry of Islamophobia?

Honestly?

Well, quite frankly, it’s to be expected if you look through history.

Each time there are major shocks — culturally, perhaps through an influx of immigrants; violently, in the case of war or other attacks; economically, with people uncertain of their financial futures — some group is singled out as “THE ENEMY!!”

It’s a tribal instinct, and one some folks just can’t seem to overcome. For them, banding together as a group to hate another group gives them comfort — after all, “It’s THE ENEMY’S fault all this happened!! Not any decision we made. No way could we have caused any of this by the politicians whose policies we supported! And how dare anyone suggest any such thing!”

There may have been a time when this worked in some group’s favor — say, back when we were all just a bunch of family groups meandering and scrounging for food thousands of years ago. But all it’s done since, oh, about the time of the Egyptians, is lead to massive death and destruction.

Just look at any of the major events we now consider horrific — the Crusades, Manifest Destiny, the Nazi’s … all of them were the direct result of some sort of crisis or panic.

So, yeah, there have been a bunch of Americans who, ever since 9/11, have decided that any even remotely Middle Easterny looking is THE ENEMY, and the THE ENEMY must be destroyed. Why the hell else would the right try so damn hard to label Obama as a Muslim, a Kenyan usurper, or both? It ain’t by accident.

The saddest part is that these people are either too blinded by fear, too delusional from ideology, or just plain stupid to realize that they’re guaranteeing the problems that scare them so much will never be solved, and may even get worse!

Sorry if this has given anyone a sad, but … well … I’ve pretty much lost all faith in our species, and have no confidence whatsoever that it’ll get better any time soon.

 
 

No shit. Being intelligent, knowledgeable & rational in this world of vicious, greedy & hateful cretins makes self-medication vital.

Now that he’s finally trying to make some sense he drinks in self-defense.

 
 

The motto of the tautology club is “The Tautology Club is the Tautology Club.”

 
 

They really and truly are unable to understand that people can disagree with Islam without despising all Muslims, wanting their religion abolished, calling for the murder of all who practice it, etc.

Very well said. They definitely won’t entertain the idea that they’ve mischaracterized both liberals and muslims, either.

 
 

Tag at Amazon youth-in-asia

 
 

Fixed it:

Finally, Islam Christianity is a serial murderer of entire cultures and peoples. This is what Islam Christianity has done throughout its entire 1400 2000 year history. This is what it has done whenever it has finally gotten the upper hand in whatever culture is has opposed. Those whom Islam Christianity does not destroy, it enslaves, diminishes and impoverishes.

Islam Christianity strives for the conversion, enslavement or death of all who do not conform to its sadistic and cruel vision of Mankind. Islam Christianity cannot be ‘reformed’ in the light of humanity and freedom. Were that so, it would no longer be Islam Christianity.

For its psychopathic and cruel misogyny alone, Islam Christianity is an abomination and worthy only of extinction – to the last believer.

 
 

Sorry if this has given anyone a sad, but … well … I’ve pretty much lost all faith in our species

it’s OK, man…we all get like this at times. When I start feeling blue, I work really hard at turning that frown upside down, usually by taking a brisk walk, swinging two butcher’s knives around me in sort of a stabby-slashy motion…

 
 

Once again conservatives succesfully confuse synergy and networking, with incest and prostitution.

 
 

Goldberg has created the ultimate conservative book club contribution: from concept to pulp, by removing the middle man — himself.

 
 

I am opposed to both legal and illegal immigration. This country is overpopulated, and 21 million Americans are out of work.

 
 

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