24
Swank Turns Over a New Leaf
Pastor Swank looks at how America sells arms to the world and wonders why we can’t we give peace a chance:
BUSH SELLS BILLIONS OF MUNITIONS TO SAUDIS
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
“The Bush administration announced Thursday a military equipment sale to Saudi Arabia, worth more than $6 billion, a move that may in part have been aimed at deflecting inevitable Arab government anger at the decision to supply Israel with munitions in the event that effort became public,� per David S. Cloud and Helene Cooper of the New York Times.
Now is that crazy or what? It’s crazy.
Totally, man. Hey, what if we took all the missiles we sold and turned them into flowers? Like, wow. Don’t think too hard about it, though: it’ll blow your mind.
Above: The New Swank.
Bush sells munitions to the Israelis to do in the Muslim aggression. Then he sells munitions to the Muslims to appease the Muslims.
Will this further World War III? Will this bring about a nuclear holocaust egged on by the freedom nation known as the “United States of America�?
Wow. Even Swank realizes that Bush is bringing the world to an end.
Rational individuals know that the world is nuts but how nuts can it get before rational persons sign up for outer space travel?
Heh. Hey Glenn- I think I’ve found a new recruit for your space program. His name is “J. Grant Swank: Pastor, Author, Transhuman.”
“The Bush administration is rushing a delivery of precision-guided bombs to Israel, which requested the expedited shipment last week after beginning its air campaign against Hezbollah targets in Lebanon, American officials said Friday.�
When Iran provides nuclear potential to another Muslim country, will they likewise send
munitions to Israel to even out the deal?It has become impossible to follow the Middle East process for those whom we consider friends of rationality are not acting reasonably, including our own Bush administration.
Yet the whole Middle East situation is potentially explosive; but are US deals with Muslim countries any way to increase the believable and reasonable?
What if, like, they had a war and nobody came? Dude. Wow.
Kumbaya, my Swank. Kumbaya.
Hoosier X said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:04
I would think that a man of the cloth like Pastor Swank would know that Jesus wants the Bush Administration to sell munitions to EVERYONE because it hastens the End Times. And Jesus wants the world to end because he is the god of love and compassion. And it’s also why Jesus wants us to ignore global warming. Satan laughs whenever people gather in Al Gore’s name to learn about global warming. People who want to save the Earth are doing Satan’s work.
There, that was lucid and cogent, wasn’t it?
islmfaoscist said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:06
One, two, three,
What are we fightin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a f*ck,
Next stop is Free Iraq!
GuinnessGuy said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:11
Swank, speaking “is” bad: ultra, in this one.
Nuclear powers global are trying to help the terrorist killers global kill the Jews “global” center ‘Israel’; What, Swank worry?
Mal de mer said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:16
This is stupid. Laughing at this idiot is stupid. Two of my fucking in-laws died this week and you fucking mother-fuckers are laughing at your god-damned Talibangelgicals…you, Brad R. can go and fuck yourself. Shove a burning flad up yer arse for all I care.
…You can all go and fuck yourselves you American pieces of shit. I hate you all.
justathought said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:18
It has become impossible to follow the Middle East process for those whom we consider friends of rationality are not acting reasonably, including our own Bush administration.
Since when has the Bush administration been a “friend of rationality”?
As far as I can tell, the Bush administration has a restraining order on rationality which won’t let rationality come within 500 yards of the President.
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:45
Er, was that really Mal de mer?
pessullivan said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:49
I think Pastor Swank should stick to the evils of the homos. You know we’re the greatest threat to the world!
Think how awful this world would be with the pacifist infiltrating homosexuals destroying the Christrian World.
http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=4494
And Damn those in charge of the Homos! They forgot to tell the card holding members to add this to our agenda!
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 5:57
Er, was that really Mal de mer?
Because, well, Pastor Swank spends half his time in a little place in North America. Rhymes with Manada.
This American is not prepared to claim more than half ownership.
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:03
Okay, clearly it’s not.
So the questions become who is our spoofer and did the offense happen here or has the troll dragged a beef over from another haloscan box?
Patkin said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:05
Interestingly enough, what I assume is the same Mal de mer said in a previous post:
Gee, you guys sound bored. Why don’t you rally your New York Hebes and Kikes and get them to destroy Lebanon?
…oh, you did that already? Hmph. Oh, well…Never mind.
So, apparently, he’s heading off the deep end, whoever he happens to be.
Kevin said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:10
Darn it! and here I was thinking you were talking about this
the cream of sum yung gi said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:11
A right-wing hit on Mal de Mer? Plainly the dude has been getting to some extremely IMPORTANT people, like Goldstein and the losers who read him…
Mal de mer said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:28
Er, was that really Mal de mer?
Yes, it was. My brother-in-law’s sister and her husband died last week and I’m having a hard time; they’re having a hard time. I can’t believe they died. I can’t believe this is happening.
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:32
Well, just in case it really is Mal de mer[1], I’m sorry to hear about your family members. I hope you understand that humour doesn’t mean we don’t feel it; quite the opposite. For some of us, humour is our second last defence before alcohol abuse.
[1] Considering I remember a similar incident where someone implied invading Canadia, or something stupid like that, and Mal de mer momentarily lost his sense of humour.
mikey said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:32
Alright, well that just really creeps me out. Either something really tragic happend in Mal’s life or somebody’s pretending to be him. I don’t get it. I don’t get why some of these peeps pretend to be somebody else. That’s just weird. Well, except for the obvious fake Rupperts, they can be funny. But this adopting a false persona or six or pretending to be somebody else is honestly beyond me…
mikey
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:32
I’m sorry Mal de mer, I really am. I know how painful it is to lose a family member.
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:34
Are they in Lebanon or in Israel? Or is it unrelated to that?
DocAmazing said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:41
Our condolences, Mal de mer.
STH said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:44
None of us meant any disrespect, Mal; we just need the humor to get through the current awful politicial period. I know you’re hurting, but it’s not going to help to strike out at your friends here.
Take care of yourself, Mal, and keep hanging in there. You won’t always feel the way you do now.
g said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:44
“My brother-in-law’s sister and her husband died last week and I’m having a hard time;”
I’m very sorry, Mal de Mer. If you feel OK to tell what happened, please do. If you don’t feel OK doing that, just please know that I am so, so sorry. This conflict is something that I can’t articulate my feelings about right now.
Mal de mer said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:49
I really don’t care anymore. I’m not an Arab, but my wife is Lebanese, I have two children; I can’t believe this happened.
I hate Americans so much. All they do is make people in the middle east miserable.
Mal de mer said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:54
Fuck. Forget that last comment. I’m going to bed.
g said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:54
Mal, there’s nothing I can say. Only…please take care of yourself.
justathought said,
July 24, 2006 at 6:57
This blog and it’s commenters hardly need my feeble defense, but if your relatives died last week, why were you here only yesterday joking thusly?:
Mal de mer said,
July 22, 2006 at 1:11
I liked Waterworld. It’s a great movie to have playing on the home DVD while you’re out grocery shopping or having your hair done.
Is the war over yet?
Note that this was yesterday, this additional comment was posted in the same thread:
Mal de mer said,
July 22, 2006 at 1:41
Bah. I knew conditions were deterioriating when Smurf molestation became commonplace. All those blue fingers…disgusting!
Again, a joke, posted only yesterday.
Perhaps Mal de mer only learned of the deaths of his/her relatives last night/ this morning, but I think we must also consider the altewrnatives.
Please understand, I mention this not to increase the pain of the real mal de mer, only to put forward the case that we are dealing with an impostor.
I pray I am correct, and that Mal’s relatives are still hale and hearty.
mikey said,
July 24, 2006 at 7:13
Mal, I’m very sorry. I wish you only that you find a way to get through your pain. I hate war. The waste, the tragedy. War never gives us anything but lies. War always takes. Yes, there is ugliness and horror in the world. Please remember who is responsible and who stood against it. It’s the only way to find some peace….
mikey
g said,
July 24, 2006 at 7:14
“but if your relatives died last week, why were you here only yesterday joking thusly?:
Jesus fucking Christ. Why don;t you just take what the person says at face value instead of assuming they’re a liar? What the fuck does it cost you to believe what you read about a personal story? Show some fucking decency.
“Perhaps Mal de mer only learned of the deaths of his/her relatives last night/ this morning,”
You know, communication in a fucking war zone doesn’t always meet our expectations for immediacy.
Get out of your own shoes for a second.
NobodySpecial said,
July 24, 2006 at 7:22
There’s definitely a time lag – a coworker of mine went to Beirut about three weeks before the shooting started and it took four days after it all went up that we found out he was in Syria.
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 7:24
I hate Americans so much.
Because of their freedoms, right?
Good night Mal. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
flawedplan said,
July 24, 2006 at 7:38
Mal de mer,
I’m so sorry for your loss, your friends here understand, Jesus, this is awful, nothing you say is out of line right now. I’m so sorry man.
Lookit The Happy Monkey said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:10
I don’t know what else to do. I gave, I walked with the marches, I defended the anti war position when it comes up in conversation. I read so I know what’s going on… and in the final analysis, all we have left, until sane people who aren’t beholden to plutocrats, Rapturologists and transhumanist wankers take the reins, is the knowledge that the people who are plutocrats, Rapturologists and transhumanist wankers are absurd. I laugh, because my other urge is to slap them unconscious, yelling profanities until my lungs burst.
Some Guy said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:22
Shorter Swank: I have zero understanding of the Middle East and how compex this issues is. Watch me try to piece together rationale from what I hear on Fox News.
Take note of the advocation of cutting and running. From the planet.
Patkin said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:30
I’m not going to fault Mal his grief, I’d just like an explaination for this:
Why don’t you rally your New York Hebes and Kikes and get them to destroy Lebanon?
I don’t support Israel, I would like nothing more than for every single political leader in their government to be thrown out and barred from any civil service work again. You want to blame Americans, blame New England honkeys, Wyoming crackers and all the Protestant/born-again fuckaboos who’re supporting this war effort.
Because this New York kike isn’t taking any more shit for the Israeli war criminals, get it?
random_guy said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:37
If I’m wrong I’ll feel like a total assholish fool, but I have a hard time believing that at least the above quoted comment is from Mal de Mer. Grief can have strange effects, but I’ve never heard of grief suddenly turning someone into a racist.
elendil said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:50
Because this New York kike isn’t taking any more shit for the Israeli war criminals, get it?
Now is a good time for us to reject the false dichotomy that serves in the interests of the war-mongers. And those who are getting forced into these categories would do well to take to the streets and make it known that they won’t be playing along.
maddie said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:53
Mal,
What flawedplan (and others) said.
You hate Americans? Who could blame you. How I search every day for ways to separate myself from the horror that our government has unleashed. None of the Americans on this site, or others, agree with the wretched, brutal acts of the Bush administration (idiot trolls notwithstanding). But, sadly, we do little to try and stop it. Most of us don’t even know what we could possibly do to stop the terror inflicted around the world in our name.
What is it that keeps the American public from rising up in active protest against actions by our government that we clearly despise? I have no idea. And while I have no wish to insult others who comment here (especially mikey, who truly understands this war, and thankfully reminds us all that these are not joking matters), I believe that if we all deeply examined our hearts, we Americans would find that we are all “somewhat”/”very”/”totally” culpable here.
Mal — I offer my sincerist condolences for your loss. And I strive to be a better person, and a better American, so that we might finally find a way to end the sufferring our country inflicts upon the world.
flawedplan said,
July 24, 2006 at 8:55
OK, look Mal de mer is what got me hanging out in the comments here, he’s mean but no one is invulnerable. It just seems we need to let trauma do what trauma does, what it does to people is the reason we are against trauma. Let him be.
Marq said,
July 24, 2006 at 9:22
Mal De Mer, any words I could write would be inadequate to express the regret I feel over your loss. Now you hate Americans, and who could blame you? There has certainly always been a large contingent of my fellow countrymen who deserve nothing less than contempt, and at the moment they’re ascendant. Even if we recapture one or both houses of Congress this fall, it doesn’t guarantee that much will change, I;m thinking any improvement would be incremental. And I can see how coming here and seeing nothing but Pammy’s tits jokes and Jeff Goldstein cock-slap anecdotes would rub one the wrong way during such a dark time–it’s all so frivolous. But, as several others have mentioned, sometimes cheap humor is all we have to stand between us and the madness of the abyss. Take care of yourself, and your family.
Morbo said,
July 24, 2006 at 14:14
How I search every day for ways to separate myself from the horror that our government has unleashed. None of the Americans on this site, or others, agree with the wretched, brutal acts of the Bush administration (idiot trolls notwithstanding). But, sadly, we do little to try and stop it. Most of us don’t even know what we could possibly do to stop the terror inflicted around the world in our name.–maddie
This paragraph could be rewritten from a Lebanese or Israeli POV, and it would still make complete sense. People are pawns to their government, which is why it’s ridiculous to paint everyone who doesn’t leave a freshly-minted battlefield as a terrorist collaborators. Including both the Israelis who stay in the northern cities, and the Lebonese who are stuck in the south, after bridges, roads, and convoys have been repeatedly targeted.
Every civilian death is a tragedy, but some are more tragic than others.–Dershowitz’s meaningless platitude after his lawyerly rationalizing apologia for the IDF.
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 15:45
“What the fuck does it cost you to believe what you read about a personal story? Show some fucking decency.”
Ask a kike or hebe what it might cost. Sympathy goes so far. And no further.
Unless “nuking the sand niggers” is now an appropriate response to losing a family member in the middle east now, as well. Leaves a pretty fucking bad taste in the mouth all the way around.
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 15:57
It absolutely wasn’t the government and the military of the nation of Israel that crossed the line.
It was all them kikes and hebes don’tchaknow. ‘Specially the New York ones. And Americans in general, natch.
Fuck this noise.
Gratis said,
July 24, 2006 at 17:32
I believe that if we all deeply examined our hearts, we Americans would find that we are all “somewhat�/�very�/�totally� culpable here.
Please speak for yourself. I refuse to accept any responsibility for the atrocities my government commits on the world.
thedarkbackward said,
July 24, 2006 at 18:59
RE: Mal de mer
Shit. That blows the Charles Nelson Reilly joke I had all queued up.
Lucy said,
July 24, 2006 at 19:39
Wow, he really does look like Charles Nelson Reilly! And, as a general comment sparked by Swank’s statement, among, ahem, other things, “those whom we consider friends of rationality are not acting reasonably, including our own Bush administration”: What do you mean “we,” Kemosabe?
ned fucking flanders said,
July 24, 2006 at 20:34
Yeah, I’m with Gratis. I’m not doing anything to anybody in the Middle East.
That said, it’s hard to see mal de mer’s rage as anything other than normal. I’m truly sorry for your loss, mal. But I didn’t do it.
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 21:38
That said, it’s hard to see mal de mer’s rage as anything other than normal.
Absolutely. After all, what could be more normal than blaming former compatriot smartasses snarking on a website? I guess pinning it on all the kikes and hebes might count as more normal.
Normal.
blurp said,
July 24, 2006 at 22:05
Wow. When did this place turn into LGF?
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 22:07
Yesterday.
Unhinged up in this piece yo.
matt said,
July 24, 2006 at 23:16
You’re absolutely right. A good marinara sauce does need cilantro. But it also needs oregano.
GoatBoy said,
July 24, 2006 at 23:29
Nothing needs cilantro. Satan’s parsley.
GuinnessGuy said,
July 25, 2006 at 1:58
Nothing needs cilantro. Satan’s parsley
I thought parsley was Satan’s Parsley… evidentally my grandmother was a damned liar.
Yay, back to some stage of normality (save for FReeperland Junior thread up yonder).
GoatBoy said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:04
I’m about to go all “STOP LAUGHING” myself, seeing just about everybody in that thread up there make excuses for what was in MdM’s head (and came out through the fingers).
If it wasn’t in there to begin with, it wouldn’t have been able to come out.
Oh, and your granny was thinking of Rod Parsley. I’m sure of it.
The Kikes and Hebes said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:14
What’s all this mishegas?
GuinnessGuy said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:16
I imagine you’re quite right; she never was much for the Italian food any way (pronounced “Eye-talian”, of course).
If it wasn’t in there to begin with, it wouldn’t have been able to come out.
We all have some level of ugly within us, I’ve found– I ascribe it to Original Sin as per my belief system, but it is clear that there are some issues there that should be addressed in due course (see my response to you above– and I reinterate that I think we mostly agree).
Patkin said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:25
Satan’s parsley
This reminds me of a joke I once heard. A wildlife documentary was covering the tiger shark, and for the dramatic stinger before the actual documentary took place, described the tiger shark as “The earth’s tiger.” Not the ocean’s, the earth’s.
GoatBoy said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:26
(Like I said in the other thread, this isn’t the first time we’ve been subject to MdM’s (misplaced) vitriol. It’s just that this time I wasn’t in the mood to shrug it off. Maybe I should have, considering the reputation that disinclination is likely to earn me around these parts. (And on the super frank tip: I was more than a little disappointed that “there there, dear” was the only response I saw before I jumped into the mess. (AAAAND I’m not even a Jew, neither by birth nor practice.)))
GoatBoy said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:29
Visit scenic Land World!
GuinnessGuy said,
July 25, 2006 at 2:36
I hadn’t actually read the bit prior to my comment in regards to the unfortunate deaths (I found out while perusing the front page and stopped in to comment without reading the other comments, which I could tell by quick scan had developed into a Middle East-centered monkey shit-fight).
Still, I appreciate your point. Your indignation was indeed rightous, even if my preferred approach is less… indignant. Differant strokes, after all.
random_guy said,
July 25, 2006 at 6:03
Actually, I’m waiting for EuroLandWorld.
Sexy Sadie said,
July 25, 2006 at 6:42
I love the manipulated photo.