When Bryan Fischer isn’t running around claiming that there is a gay conspiracy to kidnap your children, sodomize them and then force them to become gay abortionists, he is — quelle surprise — warning of the imminent takeover of the United States by the Mooslim hordes who will not rest until your children are forced to memorize the Koran, your wife to don a burqa, and you to bow down facing Mecca five times a day. Oh, and they’re coming for your dog Fluffy too.
Now we learn from Bryan that the Islapocalypse is closer than previously thought. Campbell’s Soup, America’s iconic purveyor of artificially flavored salted water, hypertension and heart disease, has defected to the jihadists
Creeping Sharia has come to a grocery aisle near you. Campbell’s soups have come out with a line of 15 halal-certified soups which comply with the dietary regulations of the two percent of the American population that follows Islam. …The next time you pop open a can of Campbell’s vegetarian soup, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you are consuming jihadi-sanctified food. … What more people will find offensive is that the person carrying out the killing must recite a Koranic verse while the lifeblood of the animal drains away, thus dedicating the animal and the meat that comes from it to Allah. … The prayer? “Bismillah Allah-hu-Akbar”, which means “In the name of Allah, who is the greatest.”
And just as its a small step from a simple nosh on a kosher hot dog to waking up one morning wearing a yarmulke and sporting newly-grown payots, just tasting one tiny spoonful of halal Campbell’s Soup will have you shouting Allahu Akbar during Monday Night Football and surfing the web for the latest in suicide vest fashions.
Sharia law is no longer creeping up on us. It’s bearing down on us at full gallop. It’s time for Christian civilization to grab the reins of this runaway horse and stop it dead in its tracks. No Sharia law in America, period.
Oh, and before any of you become fearful of visiting your neighborhood grocery store lest you become the involuntary victim of the Islamic conversion-by-canned-soup plot, the halal Campbell’s sharia law soup cans are only available in Canuckistan, which you will find out if you click Fischer’s link. For the life of me I really can’t figure out why he failed to mention that these jihadist soups were only available in Canada, although I suppose it rather fucks up his argument about Sharia law bearing down on the U.S. “at full gallop.” Or maybe Fischer doesn’t understand that Canada is another country.
[h/t Sadly, No! special agent code named "I Want Reason To Prevail."]