Aug
31

From the Tweet Box




Posted at 5:30 by Tintin

tim_chipmunk_graham_3

Tim Graham, who is Brent Bozell’s butt boy and assistant searcher of “fuck” at Dirtywordburster.org, did not like my post on “Fuck You” one bit, so he took a few moments from stuffing his cheeks to send me this tweet defending the honor of his wingnut welfare sugar daddy Brent Bozell:

I mean, what’s up with that, other than being a lame attempt at a homophobic swipe? For the record, Tintin doesn’t wear capri pants. He wears plus fours. But if Tintin did wear capri pants he’d still be butcher in them than Tim Graham in his butchest outfit, which probably consists of — (horrifying image alert) — size forty-six jeans and a pizza-stained wife-beater. And if Tim Graham were a real man and if he had any balls, he’d simply call me a “cocksucking faggot” and dispense with the little school-girl jibe about capri pants.

The real howler in Timmy’s little whiny-ass, titty-baby Tweet is that Bozell was just “asking for a little decency.” Ha! The fucknozzles at Fuckbusters wouldn’t know decency if it walked up to them and whacked them upside the head with a two-by-four. Decency isn’t about who says “fuck” and who doesn’t say “fuck.” No, it’s about unemployment benefits, health care, adequate nutrition for poor kids, equal rigts for all (including the right for us cocksucking faggots to get married), and all the other things that twist up Brent’s and Tim’s titties each time they see a newspaper article that treats any of these things favorably.

So, to paraphrase what I said in my last post: “Fuck You, Tim, and the sugar daddy douchebag you rode in on.”

Naughty word count: fuck(8), butt(2), cocksucking(3), titty(3), ass(2), douchebag(2).

401 Comments »

  1. George said,

    August 31, 2010 at 5:48

    And with that, Tintin has won the internets for all time.

  2. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 31, 2010 at 5:48

    The Rude Pundit himself couldn’t have said it better.

  3. Jymn said,

    August 31, 2010 at 5:49

    Just cunty, That’s the only word for them. I’m sorry. May I now burn in hell, father?

  4. SteveAudio said,

    August 31, 2010 at 5:49

    There’s nothing naughty about ‘titty’, it’s a loverly word.

  5. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:00

    Quite the catty tweet, Timothy.

  6. Timmeh! said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:03

    Timmeh!

  7. Judas Peckerwood said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:03

    Ooooh! When Tim gets finished blowing Dr. Zaius, you’re toast, buddy!

  8. noen said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:11

    Plus fours? I had to look that up. You mean like these?

  9. Johnny Pez said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:12

    Well, Tim, now that I know for a fact that you read this blog, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention that the world will eventually learn about your furry snuff porn collection. It’s only a matter of time.

  10. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:15

    310 comments…
    qixlqatl Monday, August 30th at 8:36PM EDT (link)
    That’s a lot more than usual.

    What’s the record?

    We’re wondering if my “now you’re pi$$ing me of” thread is going to set a record. With the help of sadlynaughts it will be.

    Hopefully you all drop in to wish me a happy birthday on the third there will be no doubt, and it will be a sure thing and redstate will have a number for their records.

    Don’t forget, open dozens of tabs, write the snarky comments then and post all at once, rapid succession, lest the moderators will be able to keep up.

  11. smiling dog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:18

    I think you missed faggot (2) in your dirty word count unless it doesn’t count as a dirty word.

  12. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:20

    I never you were such a Payne Stewart fan!*

    Though I bet you have better taste. I mean, argyle is soooooo late 80s/prep school.

    Oh, and gaddamn Chubby McWingnut can fuck his cocksucking cunt self, that motherfucking shit-ass pussy.

  13. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:23

    BTW I’m a pillar of human decency. So while visiting Redstate, be polite or be banned.

  14. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:23

    * Yes, I realize it’s on a site with the name “virgin” in it. Fairly appropriate given the inspiration for the post, donchyathink?

  15. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:25

    BTW I’m a pillar of human decency. So while visiting Redstate, be polite or be banned.

    Fixed to reflect what would actually happen.

    And why the fuck would anyone want to go to RedState?

    That’s the mental equivalent of asking some logger to pound your balls with the broad side of an axe.

  16. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:37

    Plus fours? I had to look that up. You mean like these?

    For the record, I do NOT own 4 pair of these.

  17. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:38

    That’s the mental equivalent of asking some logger to pound your balls with the broad side of an axe.

    Let’s grab a couple of axes and head over to RedState. I’ll grab an Alpaca too.

  18. TBogg said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:40

    Bozell only likes to hatefuck

    Seriously, though. Bozell sent his little fat boy over to whine? So sad….

  19. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:45

    I’ll grab an Alpaca too.

    I’m more of a llama kind of guy.

    And besides, if we’re going to RS, all we really need is a half-retarded poodle.* Maybe it could translate Wingnuttian for us.

    (* I’M NOT MAKING FUN OF TRIG!)

  20. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:50

    I’m more of a llama kind of guy.

    Didn’t we have a junk-punching Alpaca? You go to war with the army you have, not the one you want.

    I figured we would just troll the living shit out of them with Walmart brisket recipes and incoherent exhortations to face facts and, of course, the obligatory demand that they bookmark shit.

  21. Thers said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:53

    Plus-fours are for lip-wristers who can’t handle Fauntleroy suits.

  22. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:54

    I’ve been to your “values” city; it sucks.

    It is pretentious, grossly overpriced, filled with parasites and freaks. No, I’ll stick to flyover country. And that technology world is already running to get away from you parasites. When we restore an adult government and end the subsidies, the green parasites will go away. And Comrade Obama’s “recovery” has the price of wine in the toilet. And nobody’s scared of your gay people though we sometimes find them mildly amusing in their self-absorption. No, it really isn’t all about them.

    In Vino Veritas

  23. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 6:59

    I figured we would just troll the living shit out of them with Walmart brisket recipes and incoherent exhortations to face facts and, of course, the obligatory demand that they bookmark shit.

    Mind-numbed-lefty-robots unite!

  24. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:02

    It is pretentious, grossly overpriced, filled with parasites and freaks. No, I’ll stick to flyover country. And that technology world is already running to get away from you parasites. When we restore an adult government and end the subsidies, the green parasites will go away. And Comrade Obama’s “recovery” has the price of wine in the toilet. And nobody’s scared of your gay people though we sometimes find them mildly amusing in their self-absorption. No, it really isn’t all about them.

    Wait. Why don’t we go to RedState again? Gosh Nancy, that’s quite a tempting invitation there. I’m going to have to decline since I find your boilerplate lunacy and reactionary drool offensive and a useless waste of time. I can get the phone number for reality if you like to get in contact with it.

  25. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:05

    Mind-numbed-lefty-robots unite!

    OH NOEZ. Time to bring back the alter ego.

  26. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:09

    Is AChance ADouchbagTroll? Or ABadParody?

    So very, very hard to tell any more …

    And lots of decency in that RS thread. (Yes, I got out of the boat. The mangoes are too rotted to be dangerous.)

    It included at least one person wishing gays (which, apparently, is all but four people in San Francisco) to drown, and then someone replying that drowning is too nice. Several others talk about other ways to kill consenting adults who don’t have sex like those wholesome RedStaters do.

    But at least no one posted the word “fuck” in that thread. Because that would be imprudent and make the site look bad.

  27. Mind Numbed Lefty Robot said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:13

    It included at least one person wishing gays (which, apparently, is all but four people in San Francisco) to drown, and then someone replying that drowning is too nice. Several others talk about other ways to kill consenting adults who don’t have sex like those wholesome RedStaters do.

    I’m just shocked that a bunch of fascist assholes would say such things from the anonymity of the internet. Drowning is too good. We should totally bring back concentration camps. Much more efficient method of exterminating people they don’t like.

  28. noen said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:25

    From the red state linked to above:

    “I went to San Francisco once … A homeless man defecated right in a fountain on a major walkway.”

    Because everyone knows how much liberals hate social services for the poor.

    Logic, Achance, you don’t know the meaning of the word.

  29. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:26

    Is AChance ADouchbagTroll? Or ABadParody?

    Achance has a very direct, and abrasive way of showing his disagreement. If he every became an attorney, he would probably lose every client he represented, and, would probably be called to a judges conference more often than anyone in history. He would immediately be disqualified when he started calling every one idiots and stupid. I know he can argue his points with intelligence, articulate language, and with alacrity. [ ]

    It is helpful that some Redstaters post info on their states and districts candidates, but, more often than not those posters have already chosen their horse in the race, and, in some cases, the opinions posted reflect that personal bias. That is the case with Achance with his fury with anyone not supporting the Murkowski dynasty. He can’t have credibility as he has chosen sides, and has lost all objectivity. Not only has he choosen sides, he is now supporting someone who, in any other state, he would vilify. [ ]

    For what ever reason, he chooses to degrade himself with childish name calling, and that escapes me. It isn’t pretty, or necessary.

    Now tell me again about the responsible person that can admit his mistakes, and show adultness in their admission of those mistakes. Oh, wait a minute, Achance did do just that with his post saying that the Roman accusations may have some validity.

  30. Mark D said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:30

    AChance said, August 31, 2010 at 7:26, a bunch of stuff that would make most people think he is a Dadaist online performance artist.

    Coherence: You’re doin’ it wrong.

  31. Bush Campaign Chief and Former RNC Chair Ken Mehlman said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:30

    I’M GAY! G -A-Y! As in MAN-LOVING HOMOSEXUAL! I’M GAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!

  32. That Thing with the Stuff said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:34

    It is…grossly overpriced….

    To say that NYC, or anything else, is “grossly overpriced” is to say that the market is an unreliable arbiter of value; it is to cast a vote of no-confidence in the efficient markets hypothesis.

    So SN! does undermine wingnut faith, whether wingnuts recognize it or not. AChance may be out of the closet sooner than we expect.

  33. noen said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:38

    “AChance may be out of the closet sooner than we expect.”

    Well on other threads on Red State he has talked about working for some political campaigns. Not really sure in what capacity, maybe just stuffing envelopes. But I wonder if he ever has dealings in the past with Ken Mehlman?

    Is there something you’d like to ah… get off your chest Achance?

  34. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:48

    AChance said, August 31, 2010 at 7:26, a bunch of stuff that would make most people think he is a Dadaist online performance artist.

    DaDa, yes perhaps, with a smidgeon of surrealism, back-pedaling, and copious amounts of genuine bullshit.

  35. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 7:51

    Is there something you’d like to ah… get off your chest Achance?

    I’m a genuine red-blooded gun totin’ American bigot and homophobiac!

  36. montag said,

    August 31, 2010 at 8:00

    Tim Graham is, at this very moment, thanking his lucky stars that he doesn’t have a real job, because, if he did, he’d be fucking it up bigtime.

  37. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 8:02

    I can get the phone number for reality if you like to get in contact with it.
    *******************************

    This may sound all too familiar to those of use who still live in the “reality-based community” and must deal with a world convulsed by those who do not. But Frankfurt leaves such political implications to his readers. Instead, he points to one source of bullshit’s unprecedented expansion in recent years, the postmodern skepticism of objective truth in favor of sincerity, or as he defines it, staying true to subjective experience. But what makes us think that anything in our nature is more stable or inherent than what lies outside it? Thus, Frankfurt concludes, with an observation as tiny and perfect as the rest of this exquisite book, “sincerity itself is bullshit.” –Mary Park

  38. Spaghetti Lee said,

    August 31, 2010 at 8:03

    Hey, for the dirty word count, you forgot “Tim Graham” (2) and “Fox News” (1). You’re welcome.

    And AChance, if you want to talk about parasites, take a gander at which states take in the most federal tax money. It ain’t California.

  39. Smut Clyde said,

    August 31, 2010 at 8:58

    Plus fours? I had to look that up
    Tintin should have called them ++4s.

  40. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 9:01

    Is AChance ADouchbagTroll? Or ABadParody?

    A cowardly, thuggish, scrawny, thin-skinned chicken-sh8 socoipath is more apropriate as a description. I have trouble when facing the Redstate minions who begin to disagree with me and call me out on my perpetual bullshit.

    Hopefully the sadlynaughts will show up on my birthday and bolster my credibility this Friday!

  41. justme said,

    August 31, 2010 at 10:10

    It’s sort of heartwarming that Little Timmy Butthurt and pals go out of their way to read this kind of obscure corner of the intertrons.

    Successful Troll is successful!

    ——————————–

    And in regards to failtrolls, badgers are thick in this thread.
    Art needs to go rub one out.

    ——————————-

    To both Timmy and Art, a hearty Fuck You.

  42. justme said,

    August 31, 2010 at 10:21

    Also, too:

    Decency?!?!?!

    Decency?!?!?!

    Seriously?!?!?!

    Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

  43. blowback said,

    August 31, 2010 at 10:38

    Are you angling for the lead role in Quentin Tarantino’s remake of Tintin in America? Because if you are, you really need to up the F-word count.

  44. owlbear1 said,

    August 31, 2010 at 11:24

    Want a little “Decency”? Show some fucking Integrity, shit stain.

  45. jim said,

    August 31, 2010 at 11:27

    Wingnuts pimping for decency … hoo boy … it’s as if Up With People was sponsored by Stormfront.

    Ask Valerie Plame, Max Cleland or Cindy Sheehan how “decent” wingnuts are.

  46. justme said,

    August 31, 2010 at 11:53

    Ask Valerie Plame, Max Cleland or Cindy Sheehan how “decent” wingnuts are.

    Or Graeme Frost. Or John McCain’s black baby. Or Shirley Sherrod.

    Or Fred Fisher.

    As we have known since 1954, the answer to “Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?” is “No. No they don’t.”

  47. John Hughes said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:26

    .. for letting me know of the existence of Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”, which is a pretty good song, much better than Lily Allen’s “Fuck you very much” which has been fucking playing in a fucking loop on our fucking TV on all the fucking teen music channels here in fucking France and is driving me fucking nuts.

  48. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:31

    The fact is, you liberals are the opposate of decent. You are immoral idiots and love faggots and muzzies.

  49. El Cid said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:38

    Paul Wolfowitz has important things to say about US troops staying in Iraq forever just like they do in South Korea because it’s pretty much the same thing

  50. Blinking Emoticon said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:42

    Who’s Snowy?

  51. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:50

    The fact is, liberals always resort to insults and fowl language imediately because they think it makes an argument,but theres nothing like facts and logic which you don’t have at all you stupid America haters.

  52. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:52

    The fact is, Islam is not a religion. It is a death cult and not subject to the First Amendment. That only applies to true religions like CHristian, for this is a Christian nation.

  53. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:55

    The fact is, America will be greater than ever once we recognize that Jesus Christ is our savior and we get back to the biblicly based laws of the original consitutiuon. Liberals, I suggest you get right with God because here in the Heartland we are and we are the Majority, we are tired of minority telling us what to do.

  54. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 12:56

    The fact is, Hitler was a liberal and killed millions. Your ideaology does not work, Liberals. History says you are fools.

  55. Blinking Emoticon said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:02

    fowl language

    book…book…book…

    (Translation: try reading one, Gary.)

  56. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:13

    As usual, I try to put myself into the mindset of the wingnut, to understand his actions. In this case, I fail. What did he think he was going to accomplish with this tweet? Except to think of all sorts of non-politically-correct analogies of what he’s done here, I am unable even to offer a hypothesis as to his intended goal.

    Islam is not a religion. It is a death cult and not subject to the First Amendment.

    Hey, I predicted that talking point a few days ago. You totally owe me a share of your wingnut welfare cheque, Gary.

  57. vacuumslayer said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:17

    He’s just jealous because you ROCK the capris…and he could never pull those off. Judging from his picture perhaps literally.

    pull(1)

  58. Spengler Dampniche said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:40

    I regret to say I’m not a fucking faggot, but I do own two pairs of capri pants and one pair of plus fucking fours. The former are for wearing in France, where there exists no proscription against any form of trousers, even coulottes, which were the source of such troubles; the latter are because fuck you, a man needs knee pants.

  59. N__B said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:49

    “I went to San Francisco once … A homeless man defecated right in a fountain on a major walkway.”

    I went to a Republican administration five times in my life. Preachy, selfish grotesqueries defecated right on my country.

  60. Capri Pants said,

    August 31, 2010 at 13:54

    Tim Graham?!?! Oh Hell No!!

  61. phleabo said,

    August 31, 2010 at 14:02

    Naughty word count: fuck(8), butt(2), cocksucking(3), titty(3), ass(2), douchebag(2)

    Also, 3 bozells, which is a felony in Utah.

  62. guitarist manqué said,

    August 31, 2010 at 14:27

    This deep into a capri pants and plus fours thread and no love for jodhpurs and puttees?

  63. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 14:49

    Rereading the original Bozell post (you’re welcome), I do not see where he asks for a little decency. It’s just “check out the garbage kids are listening to these days” boilerplate.

  64. 77south said,

    August 31, 2010 at 14:51

    This deep into a capri pants and plus fours thread and no love for jodhpurs and puttees?
    meh. I will stick to togas, kilts, and on holidays, woad.

  65. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 15:20

    meh. I will stick to togas, kilts, and on holidays, woad.

    I really thought the nuns overreacted to that on Easter. Did they drop the charges?

  66. 77south said,

    August 31, 2010 at 15:26

    I really thought the nuns overreacted to that on Easter. Did they drop the charges?
    They were dismissed once it was clear that the nuns were visiting my stone circle on Eostre [sp?] rather than me showing up in their cathedral on Easter. I was pretty surprised charges were filed in the first place. Some of those nuns ended up skyclad before the ceremony was over, and they sure seemed to be enjoying themselves.

  67. g said,

    August 31, 2010 at 15:40

    Well, just to keep with the theme, fuckity fuck fuck and fuck you, trolls and Timmy-Troll.

    Hey, I commented in a thread before it got to 100 comments!

  68. BOHICA said,

    August 31, 2010 at 15:43

    Transcribed from the famous “F” word lesson:

    Perhaps on of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word Fuck.
    Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter “F”, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the “F” word. It’s the one magically word just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love,

    Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word ficken which means “to strike. In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories.

    As a transitive verb for instance; “John fucked Shirley.” As an intransitive verb; “Shirley fucks.” Its meaning’s not always sexual. It can be used as an adjective such as “John’s doing all the fucking work.” As part of an adverb; “Shirley talks too fucking much.” As an adverb enhancing an adjective; “Shirley is fucking beautiful.” As a noun; “I don’t give a fuck.” As part of word; “Absofuckinglutely”, or “Infuckingcredible.” And as almost every word in a sentence; “Fuck the fucking fuckers”.

    As you must realize there aren’t too many words with the versatility of fuck. As in these examples describing such situations such as fraud; “I got fucked at the used car lot.” Dismay; “Ah fuck it.” Trouble; “I guess I’m really fucked now.” Aggression;” Don’t fuck with me buddy.” Difficulty; “I don’t understand this fucking question.” Inquiry; “Who the fuck was that?” Dissatisfaction; “I don’t like what the fuck is going on here.” Incompetence; “He’s a fuckoff.” Dismissal; “Why don’t you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?”

    I’m sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly; Fuck you!”

  69. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    August 31, 2010 at 15:58

    Wow, a decency screed. I guess it was time for that to come around again on the gee-tar.

    Happily, I don’t think I’ve seen any wingnuts preening about their “moral clarity” since Abu Ghraib.

  70. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:03

    Why, did someone use the word ‘FUCK!’ at Abu Graib?

  71. Squid Vicious said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:07

    Tintin is vewy mean wibewal wiv a duhty mouf! Dis is why I must sit and cwy all day wong.

    - Tim Bozell (nee Graham)

  72. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:07

    Happily, I don’t think I’ve seen any wingnuts preening about their “moral clarity” since Abu Ghraib.

    Hm–In my experience, that hasn’t slowed them down a bit. It has made the task of bending morality to fit their purportedly Christian values a much more taxing enterprise.

  73. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:14

    Poetic justice alert and major lols.

    ” MEDIA ADVISORY, Aug. 28 /Christian Newswire/ — Glenn Beck promotes a false gospel. However, many of his political ideas can help America.
    Our country was founded on Judeo-Christian values. Mormonism is not a Christian denomination but a cult of Christianity.”
    http://www.earnedmedia.org/ci0828.htm

  74. Blinking Emoticon said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:15

    Strictly fortrel perma-press sans-a-belts for me.

  75. doctorpsycho1960 said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:17

    Snowy (in the original, Milou) is the little white dog who, in Tintin comics, sticks almost as close to the Belgian boy reporter as his perpetual plus fours.

    Which are not knee pants, btw. The reason they are called “plus fours” is that they are pants which reach down to the ankle, plus four inches, and are kept from dragging on the ground by being cinched at the ankle, producing a “baggy pants” effect which was considered very sexy when Tintin first appeared in 1929.

    Also, Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury: http://en.vidivodo.com/412065/fuck-me-ray-bradbury

  76. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:22

    In my experience, that hasn’t slowed them down a bit.

    It hasn’t, but I haven’t heard that actual term thrown around as much.

  77. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:23

    Mormonism is not a Christian denomination but a cult of Christianity.

    Woo – does that mean it’s a death cult not deserving of First Amendment protections?

  78. Chris said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:24

    Snowy (in the original, Milou) is the little white dog who, in Tintin comics, sticks almost as close to the Belgian boy reporter as his perpetual plus fours.

    The Belgians make the best graphic novels on earth. Too many to list and most of them not available in the U.S, but Tintin’s one of the great classics.

  79. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:32

    cult of Christianity

    They tell you one and one make three

  80. N__B said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:33

    Mormonism is not a Christian denomination but a cult of Christianity.

    Woo – does that mean it’s a death cult not deserving of First Amendment protections?

    It’s not really a death cult. It’s more of a excruciating bowel-pain movement.

  81. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:56

    “It’s more of a excruciating bowel-pain movement.”

    This explains the need for magic underpants.

  82. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:56

    They tell you one and one make three

    I had high hopes for that band…

  83. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 16:59

    I had high hopes for that band…

    The clothes did them in.

  84. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:02

    Tintin, this is awesome.

    Why do wingnuts have such delicate fee fees?

  85. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:04

    Just heard some woman in the waiting room call her son Bristol.

    Oh, and I’m not walking for about three months…fucking bones, how do they (not) work?

  86. tigris said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:08

    Sir: Brent Bozell questioned whether an original song critics praise, listeners love and even Bozell had to admit was “catchy and bright” was “art” because it features a perfectly valid, serviceable and in no way obscure English word that happens to put a twist in Bozell’s lacy thong panties. That was so fucking stupid I’m surprised his sorry excuse for a brain didn’t shrivel up like a salted slug. Just because his and your sensibilities are offended doesn’t mean it’s not art; it doesn’t even mean it not good art because you two have proven you have no discernment.

    Hugs and kisses,
    t.

  87. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:08

    Just heard some woman in the waiting room call her son Bristol.

    Motioning him to the washroom to help empty her ostomy bad? “Bristol! Pail! In!”

  88. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:10

    Ew, I hope not, especially since we’re in Ortho.

  89. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:12

    Just heard some woman in the waiting room call her son Bristol

    there’s a new crop of white names out… turns out my sisters have picked several of the most popular for their kids. I’m sure Palin was following a trend, not setting one.

  90. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:14

    Oh, sorry T&U. Too busy snarking.

    Get a power chair. Walking is for suckers!

  91. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:16

    Thanks. I haaaaate crutches.

    They have this “knee walker” thing, which looks dorky, but useful.

  92. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:19

    Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.

  93. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:22

    Is it a pitbull?

  94. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:23

    Does it wear lipstick?

  95. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:23

    Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.

    I bet it shits all over the house.

  96. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:23

    I bet it runs away.

  97. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:25

    I’ll bet her bark is annoying as hell.

  98. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:25

    I bet it shits all over the house and then runs away.

  99. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:26

    It seems to be smarter than Sarah, but not quite as smart as Trig.

  100. t4toby said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:27

    w!n.

  101. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:28

    Oh, and it barks at random things and does this constantly.

  102. noen said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:29

    “it’s as if Up With People was sponsored by Stormfront.”

    Wait. You mean it isn’t?

  103. noen said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:31

    “Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.”

    Did she shave it’s ass and teach it to walk backwards?

  104. Sirius Lunacy said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:32

    Truculent&Unambulitory.

  105. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:40

    Oh, and I’m not walking for about three months…fucking bones, how do they (not) work?

    I had one o’dem knee walker thangs couple years back (after yet another helicopter ride). Couldn’t use crutches ‘cuz of my smashed up shoulder. It worked out pretty damn well – small enough to toss in the back seat so Ithe Ho could take me out to go shopping and such. Be careful though – they are very unstable at anything over 15 m.p.h.

  106. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:42

    “Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.”

    Did she shave it’s ass and teach it to walk backwards?

    Too late for the previous thread, dogbutt jesus..

  107. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:50

    PM, I don’t plan an going faster than 15 miles an hour. I really don’t feel like breaking anything else…

  108. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:53

    I don’t plan an going faster than 15 miles an hour.

    I invite you to the left lane of Mississippi’s lovely four-lane highways, where you will fit right in.

  109. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 17:55

    Too late for the previous thread, dogbutt jesus..

    “Raise the stone, and there you will find me; cleave the wood, and there I am; lift Fido’s tail, you guessed it.”

  110. Mary-Sue Ruppert said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:01

    The fact is, baaaaaaaw! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!

  111. vacuumslayer said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:06

    POOP!

    poop(1)

  112. Beulahmo said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:08

    AAAaaaaahhhhh!!! Boy, reading that was so fucking satisfying. I need a cigarette.

    Thanks, Tintin.

  113. cAnceR haT said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:13

    Bristol Palin (Sarah Palin’s 19-year old daughter) will be one of the “stars” competing in the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars.

    In the decency world, all it takes is banging like a couple pistons, getting knocked up out of wedlock, and you become a ‘star.’
    Good thing they aren’t of Southern Babtist decency, she’d have to pass on the lucrative dancin’ gig.

  114. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:13

    I have been waiting for a CT scan for forty fucking minutes.

  115. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:18

    Time you could have spent voting.

  116. cAnceR haT said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:19

    ‘In the decency world, all it takes is banging like a couple pistons’,

    er, what I meant to say was ‘fucking like a pair of naughty monkeys.’

  117. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:28

    Time you could have spent voting.

    I know! At least four times!

  118. guitarist manqué said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:29

    Time you could have spent voting.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  119. Quaker in a Basement said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:30

    Everybody down! Tintin’s got an f-bomb and he’s not afraid to use it!

  120. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:40

    Those fucking Kiwis rock. Well done.

  121. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:50

    As in other places it’s the non-fucking ones who cause the problems.

  122. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:55

    Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.

    I’ll bet it humps fascist leg, nonstop.

  123. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:58

    The following comment is not indecent because as you can plainly see, he did not say the word ‘Fuck.’

    http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/david/kilmeade-kill-terrorists-because-we-dont-kno
    “I will say this, the message is to our special forces, the message is to our CIA, kill them in the field because we can’t find a way to try them at home,” Kilmeade told Fox News legal analyst Peter Johnson Jr.

    Kilmeade added, “And that might have some good points but the bad points is that we can’t get intelligence out of them if we don’t have them here to interrogate.”

  124. tsam said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:18

    “I will say this, the message is to our special forces, the message is to our CIA, kill them in the field because we can’t find a way to try them at home,” Kilmeade told Fox News legal analyst Peter Johnson Jr.

    We used to call this a summary execution.

  125. Disgruntled Lurker said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:23

    @T&U:

    DId you see where Chris Christie was described by his ex-education secretary as “Truculent”?

    http://www.northjersey.com/news/state/101706268_Stile__There_are_limits_to_Schundler_s_diplomacy.html

    Also, I figured out where your name came from while reading the wikipedia page on Morrissey yesterday.

    Two incidents of “truculent” in two days. I think the word is stalking me.

  126. Spirula said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:23

    “I never liked you. You know why? You don’t curse. I don’t trust a man who doesn’t curse. Not a “fuck” or a “shit” in all these years. Real men curse.”

  127. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:32

    How do you say “don’t mess with the Tintin” in French?

  128. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:37

    Great article by the sometimes great sometimes not Hitch.

    http://www.slate.com/id/2265515/pagenum/all/
    “Glenn Beck’s rally was large, vague, moist, and undirected—the Waterworld of white self-pity.”
    By Christopher Hitchens

    “Saturday’s rally was quite largely confined to expressions of pathos and insecurity, voiced in a sickly and pious tone. The emotions that underlay it, however, may not be uttered that way indefinitely.”

  129. Lefty said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:40

    I looked for those things in my man pages, but couldn’t find them. Who knew cocksucking was in the C library?

  130. 24shamsky said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:43

    Now tell me again about the responsible person that can admit his mistakes, and show adultness in their admission of those mistakes. Oh, wait a minute, Achance did do just that with his post saying that the Roman accusations may have some validity.

    It’s cute that that’s what you think you did here. But all you’ve really done is to confirm that even your fellow wingnuts think that you’re an obnxious asshole

  131. justme said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:51

    From the “But we already knew they were morons” dept.

    24. Some people have alleged that Barack Obama sympathizes with the goals of Islamic fundamentalists who want to
    impose Islamic law around the world. From what you know about Obama, what is your opinion of these
    allegations? Do you think they are… (READ 1-4)
    Current…………………………. Rep. Dem. Ind.
    7 …….Definitely true ………….14 …3 ……5
    24 …..Probably true …………..38 ..14 ….22
    36 …..Probably not true, OR ..33 ..37 ….37
    25 …..Definitely not true? …….7 …42 ….28
    8 (DO NOT READ) Don’t know 8 ….4 ……8
    100 ……………………………..100 100 100

  132. 24shamsky said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:51

    Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.

    That must be one dumb fucking dog, you betcha.

  133. 24shamsky said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:56

    The fact is, liberals always resort to insults and fowl language imediately

    Sheesh, what a cluck.

    Aw, shit.

  134. El Cid said,

    August 31, 2010 at 19:56

    That same poll had 2% thinking Sarah Palin was Muslim.

  135. Arakasi said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:01

    TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 18:13

    I have been waiting for a CT scan for forty fucking minutes.

    Ha! we know that’s a lie. Everyone knows that here in the Capitalist Paradise of America, no one ever has to wait for medical treatment – unlike those socialist hellholes in Europe, where you have to wait in line for two hours just to use the bathroom in the doctor’s office.

    Admit it, T&U. You really spent those 40 minutes getting a massage from a Nordic god named Sven

  136. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:04

    Lady where my wife works named her dog “Palin.” Non-ironically.

    I bet it Tweets more coherently.

  137. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:08

    We used to call this a summary execution.

    More proof, as if we needed it, that tsam is objectively pro-terrorist.

    Kilmeade added, “And that might have some good points but the bad points is that we can’t get intelligence out of them if we don’t have them here to interrogate.”

    Yes, the “bad part” about the cold-blooded murder of prisoners is that you can’t interrogate them afterwards. I wonder what George Washington would say to that?

    Huh. I guess I’m objectively pro-terrorist, too.

  138. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:12

    Huh. I guess I’m objectively pro-terrorist, too.

    It’s clear that you all are a bunch of terrorist-coddling, hateful, mean, foul-mouthed heathens.

    I can hardly stand to spend hours on this site, following your every word.

  139. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:18

    DId you see where Chris Christie was described by his ex-education secretary as “Truculent”?

    Nope. Ha!

    Also, I figured out where your name came from while reading the wikipedia page on Morrissey yesterday.

    Sometimes I forget…I left out the “devious,” though, because that’s not me, plus that shit’s already long enough to begin with.

    Two incidents of “truculent” in two days. I think the word is stalking me.

    Oh, no, that’s me. Implanting little encounters with “truculent” in your life to make you think of me.

    That sounded creepier than I meant it to…

  140. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:21

    That same poll had 2% thinking Sarah Palin was Muslim.

    Maybe they misheard and thought they were saying she looks good in muslin.

  141. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:21

    Admit it, T&U. You really spent those 40 minutes getting a massage from a Nordic god named Sven

    That would be better than voting. Or sitting in a wheelchair for obese people with a gimpy, painful ankle. Or, you know, pretty much 98% of the things in the world…

    Seriously, it took four hours this morning to do, eh, probably about 1 hour (being generous) of patient contact. The longest time I spent was with Jim, the 6’5″ nurse, who put my cast on and was very sweet about the fact that I was in pain.

  142. Pretty Much Every Homophobe said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:22

    I can hardly stand to spend hours on this site, following your every word.

    TELL me about it. I hate watching all this gay porn, so I can point out what’s so horrible about it.

  143. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:24

    Fuck piss shit damn cock cunt fuck cocksucker cunt fuck asshole buttfuck spooge santorum piss blowjob dick asswipe shitlicker fuck.

    Just doing my part.

  144. Cnut Metathesis said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:50

    Let’s take up a collection and send Tim and Brent some pet “fuck-you lizards”:

    http://www.vietvet.org/vnbk06.htm

    That way they don’t even have to get up from the couch and put on a pair of pants to get their rage boners on.

    Fucking pantywhiffing one-balled goathumper pecksniff bastards.

  145. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 20:58

    The longest time I spent was with Jim, the 6’5? nurse, who put my cast on and was very sweet about the fact that I was in pain.

    Should have been prefaced with “I never thought those letters were true, until…”

  146. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:05

    Harkening back to a previous thread, solid scientific evidence regarding T&U’s notions of sexuality.

  147. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:07

    Should have been prefaced with “I never thought those letters were true, until…”

    You’re right. I blame the fact that I’ve had too much medication. Or not enough.

  148. Anonymous said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:08

    The fact is, liberals always resort to insults and fowl language imediately

    Sheesh, what a cluck.

    I usually chicken out before using fowl language…

  149. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:10

    Harkening back to a previous thread, solid scientific evidence regarding T&U’s notions of sexuality.

    Oh, nononononono. I said that baking cupcakes with their mothers caused boys to turn out gay, not hanging out with too many dudes. Straight dudes hang out in large groups all the time without any women…sometimes naked, even….

    ….anyway, yes, you should totes keep little girls from holding hands because they’ll totes turn out lesbo.

  150. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:11

    Tagfail.

  151. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:14

    Tagfail.

    Given your condition you should probably stop trying to comment. Go vote or something.

  152. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:14

    It’s cute that that’s what you think you did here. But all you’ve really done is to confirm that even your fellow wingnuts think that you’re an obnxious asshole

    Not realy being cute or trying to prove anything. Just hoping enough people show up to wish me a happy birthday so RS just decided I’m too much asshole trouble for them to want to welcome anymore, and tell me to STFU.

    It whould be a huge bruising blow to my fragile inner-child asshole.

  153. AChance at a meaningful existence said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:22

    Ahh. Too late.

  154. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:29

    http://www.startribune.com/politics/blogs/101900343.html

    Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty Tuesday ordered all state agencies to not to submit applications to any health care funding from the federal government related to the health care overhaul.

  155. smedley said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:37

    “Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty Tuesday ordered all state agencies to not to submit applications to any health care funding from the federal government related to the health care overhaul.”

    All over South Dakota you can find tee shirts with an arrow pointing up saying “I’m with stupid.” I wonder if they have them with the arrow pointing to the east?

  156. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:46

    Ahh. Too late

    No really, I’m headed towards the thin ice at Redstate, and need an invasion of sadlynaughts to help put me in the drink. All my efforts to sell Corrupt Bastard Club as something palatable to them, Now they’re calling me out and I have to go backpedal even more.

    According to you, those Republicans were all pure as the driven snow apparently and she had no business doing ANYTHING at all except kiss the ring of the AK Republican establishment.

    Really, your comments reveal so much about you – without your probably even being aware of it.

    Kiss the ring? Yeah, right.

    Yeah, Redstaters have all suddenly become idiots anyway, so help me out here.

  157. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:48

    Is Glenn Beck the anti-Christ? Christian right bitch slap lols!

    “Mormonism and Mammonism are contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ. They offer another Lord Jesus than the One offered in the Scriptures and Christian tradition, and another way to approach him. An embrace of these tragic new vehicles for the old Gnostic heresy is unloving to our Mormon friends and secularist neighbors, and to the rest of the watching world. Any “revival” that is possible without the Lord Jesus Christ is a “revival” of a different kind of spirit than the Spirit of Christ (1 Jn. 4:1-3).
    http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=1141100

    Hmm, you know who else has a different kind of spirit?.

  158. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:52

    Just hoping enough people show up to wish me a happy birthday so RS just decided I’m too much asshole trouble for them to want to welcome anymore

    Here’s the thing, AphonyChance: I can’t tell if you’re a homo loving liberal who wants to ratfuck Artie or you’re a Teabagging Palinista who wants to ratfuck the man.

    Either way, I don’t really have a dog in the fight and mostly find you tiresome, boring and repetitive. And repetitive.

    Too.

  159. Smut Clyde said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:54

    Those fucking Kiwis rock. Well done.
    Note the embarrassing part:

    Under New Zealand Law, this public good may be achieved in a few different ways…reducing poverty, advancement of education, and advancement of religion.

    Harkening back to a previous thread, solid scientific evidence regarding T&U’s notions of sexuality.
    Thank you for the reminder that John B. Watson was an absolute douche.

  160. vacuumslayer said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:55

    Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty Tuesday ordered all state agencies to not to submit applications to any health care funding from the federal government related to the health care overhaul.

    What a douche.

  161. smedley said,

    August 31, 2010 at 21:55

    Someone should ask Beck how many of our Founding Fathers were Mormon.

  162. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:02

    Someone should ask Beck how many of our Founding Fathers were Mormon.

    Well of course, Beck would respond that they were Christian (even the ones who weren’t) and he’s a Christian so it’s all good.

    It’s from the other direction that things go pear-shaped because every good Christian (of the right sort, if you know what I mean) knows that Mormons are pretend Christians but really fakey-fake cultists because their fairy stories are newer than the other guys’ fairy stories which are totes true because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!

  163. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:02

    Either way, I don’t really have a dog in the fight

    Both and NOTA. More about being a catalyst for extreme assholery by assholes.

    Like a whole new ‘Portrait of an asshole having a nervous breakdown’ thread. Interactive and live.

  164. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:04

    Everyone knows that fairy stories have to be older than 2000 years to be true. Even the mooslems have to wait another 500 years.

  165. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:07

    I can’t figure out AChance either. Does he have a split personality disorder and what did the real AChance do to him?

  166. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:13

    WTFWJD!
    http://www.cafepress.com/bridezilla/156657

  167. 77south said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:14

    Everyone knows that fairy stories have to be older than 2000 years to be true. Even the mooslems have to wait another 500 years.
    It is for this reason ‘The Epic of Gilgamesh’ is twice as true as the Bible.

  168. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:14

    Everyone knows that fairy stories have to be older than 2000 years to be true.

    If that’s the case, the Xtians still have another 20 years or so to go.

    “Zoroastrianism, the One True Religion!”

  169. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:18

    It is for this reason ‘The Epic of Gilgamesh’ is twice as true as the Bible.

    You Enkidu you.

  170. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:19

    Fuckus on The Family (Did I really do that?) says:

    “Candi Cushman, an education analyst for the James Dobson-founded group, told The Denver Post this weekend that gay rights advocates have inserted their agenda into anti-bullying efforts, at the expense of Christian values.

    “We feel more and more that activists are being deceptive in using anti-bullying rhetoric to introduce their viewpoints, while the viewpoint of Christian students and parents are increasingly belittled,” Cushman told the Post.”

    Whiny-ass titty babies.

    http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/08/focus_on_the_family_dont_let_gay_activists_hijack.php?ref=fpb

  171. 77south said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:22

    You Enkidu you.
    Marduking around again are you? I ought to kick your Assurbanipal, except that it’s Tiamat work.

  172. Chris said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:27

    Official numbers finally in,

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20100831/el_yblog_upshot/poll-majority-of-gop-believe-obama-is-sympathetic-to-islamic-fundamentalists

  173. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:27

    Those ancient Mythras just never go away.

  174. gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:29

    Fucking plagerism! How does it work?

    http://www.wsu.edu/~dee/MESO/GILG.HTM
    “Gilgamesh was an historical king of Uruk in Babylonia, on the River Euphrates in modern Iraq; he lived about 2700 B.C.

    The Flood. The story of the Flood is a familiar one, as we shall see in Genesis and Popol Vuh (Plato also gives an account of the Flood and the city of Atlantis in the dialogue, Critias ; the Nez Perce of the Palouse also have a flood story in which the only humans that survived did so by climbing the mountain, Yamustus, that is, Steptoe Butte). The earliest surviving reference to the Flood goes back to 1900 B.C.”

    Heh heh, he said Steptoe Butte.

  175. Joseph Campbell said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:34

    Look, I’ve gone over this time and again.

  176. Carl Jung said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:35

    Hooboy, you’re telling me?

  177. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:38

    the Nez Perce of the Palouse also have a flood story

    That’s because the central plain of Washington experienced an incredible flood at the end of the last Ice Age. Their oral history is capturing the Missoula Flood.

  178. AChance said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:40

    WTF?

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/012999/Ope_callahanltr.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/111301/let_letter7.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/032703/let_letter1.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/050505/sta_20050505025.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/050805/let_20050508034.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/051605/let_20050516008.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/111202/let_letter3.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/101801/let_letqualified.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/111301/let_letter7.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/061307/let_20070613011.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/032502/let_letter4.shtml

    http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/060205/let_20050602019.shtml

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/25429.html

  179. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:45

    There’s a super vid on the Missoula flood I think at PBS (natch). I’ll see if I can find it. I also like how, some long long long time later, the Missoula flood indirectly led to the Bridge of the Gods.

  180. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:49

    Yep, it was Nova. Go figure.

  181. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:57

    Better news:

    “A major same-sex marriage fundraiser hosted by former RNC chairman Ken Mehlman and other Republicans provides one of the sharpest illustrations of how gay rights is becoming a cause among more elite, establishment members of the GOP.

    In addition to Mehlman, who recently announced that he was gay, the list of attendees includes several surprises, such as Ben Ginsburg, one of the Republican Party’s top lawyers, and Henry Kravis and Paul Singer, two of the biggest donors to the GOP. According to one gay-rights activist involved in similar efforts, the fundraising pool goes even deeper.

    A major same-sex marriage fundraiser hosted by former RNC chairman Ken Mehlman and other Republicans provides one of the sharpest illustrations of how gay rights is becoming a cause among more elite, establishment members of the GOP.

    In addition to Mehlman, who recently announced that he was gay, the list of attendees includes several surprises, such as Ben Ginsburg, one of the Republican Party’s top lawyers, and Henry Kravis and Paul Singer, two of the biggest donors to the GOP. According to one gay-rights activist involved in similar efforts, the fundraising pool goes even deeper.

    “There is a strong conservative case to be made in favor of gay marriage,” former McCain campaign manager and fellow same-sex marriage fundraiser Steve Schmidt told the Huffington Post on Tuesday. “Marriage is an institution that strengthens and stabilizes society. It is an institution that has the capacity to bring profound joy and happiness to people and it is a matter of equality and keeping faith of one of the charters of the nation, the right to live your life.

    “More and more conservatives are saying that opposition to gay marriage would not be a litmus test for membership in the GOP,” Schmidt added. “And more conservatives are making the case that no more do you want big government conservatives in the bedroom than big government liberals telling you how to live your life.”

    Fundy Xtian head asplodey warning!

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/31/mccain-campaign-chief-sch_n_700623.html

  182. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:01

    Fuck, fuckin’ fucker’s fucking fucked!

  183. Looch said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:03

    WTF?

    In a word:

    Douchebag.

  184. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:10

    The Flood.

    Well, since settlements tend to abound in rich littoral zones, the post-Ice Age warming would have led to a worldwide increase in sea levels which would have disproportionately affected settled or semi-settled populations, uh, worldwide.

    No need to resort to quoting Genesis.

    Hell, no need to resort to quoting either Peter Gabriel or Phil Collins.

  185. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:12

    In and around the lake, mountains come out of the sky and they stand there.

  186. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:14

    Fuck, fuckin’ fucker’s fucking fucked!

    Shit. Shitty shithead cookin’ up bullshit and bein’ a shitheel.

  187. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:14

    Damn you Rusty! Reading that made my head spin and the room too. Just like the last time I listened to it.

  188. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:16

    My work here is done.

  189. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:17

    …and on a related note, I just started renting The Wire on my DVR via Amazon (that’s some good shit, right there) and I just watched the episode where McNulty and his partner are going over a murder scene and the entire dialog, for several minutes, is variations on “Fuck.” It’s fucking awesome shit right there.

  190. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:22

    fucking awesome shit ..

    You must be one of them potty mouthed librul terraist lovers!

  191. Mysticdog said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:33

    Someone should ask Beck how many of our Founding Fathers were Mormon.

    All of them! Mormons convert the dead, dontchaknow? (really. not making that up)

    It would be the creepiest thing about them, if it wasn’t for the other creepy things.

  192. Whale Chowder said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:40

    Reading that made my head spin and the room too. Just like the last time I listened to it.

    Did that happen to precede a helicopter ride*?

    *VumicantevenimagineR

  193. cAnceR haT said,

    August 31, 2010 at 23:46

    Someone should ask Beck how many of our Founding Fathers were Mormon.

    Dumb dumd dumb-dumb dumb

  194. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:04

    Note the embarrassing part:

    The silver lining there is that – at least for now – they don’t consider beating teh ghey out of people as “advancement of religion.”

  195. Smut Clyde said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:29

    “There is a strong conservative case to be made in favor of gay marriage,” former McCain campaign manager and fellow same-sex marriage fundraiser Steve Schmidt told the Huffington Post on Tuesday.
    “More and more conservatives are saying that opposition to gay marriage would not be a litmus test for membership in the GOP,

    Oh in the name of feck. The next time some bipartisan above-it-all pundits complain about the way that seemingly non-political, orthogonal issues became aligned to the democratic / republican division — so that (say) denying the possibility of climate change became a test of Republican doctrinal purity — and go on to blame both sides equally for polarising such issues, then you can point them to dingbat feckheads like Schmidt.

    I mean, no-one is making him view everything through a politicised prism and look for a “conservative case” in favour of ignoring gender as a requirement for marriage. He does not have to justify every ethical decision by checking whether it’s compatible with the tenets of the Party. No-one made him or his colleagues like Mehlman look for a “conservative case” for imposing gender requirements in the first place.

    If he can’t argue in favour of allowing same-sex marriages as simply ‘the right thing to do” without making it into a platform, then away to feck with him.

  196. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:30

    gocart mozart said,

    August 31, 2010 at 22:13 (kill)

    WTFWJD!
    http://www.cafepress.com/bridezilla/156657

    Mrs. __B and I are currently stocking up on weird shit like you can’t imagine…and the people who created the WTFWJD shirts also have baby bibs named after one of my favorite noir novels: I wake up screaming.

    Thanks, gocart.

  197. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:33

    I quite like the now-ubiquitous AB/CD logo.

  198. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:36

    I mean, no-one is making him view everything through a politicised prism and look for a “conservative case” in favour of ignoring gender as a requirement for marriage.

    Freedumb is just another word for nothing left to choose.

  199. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 0:54

    If he can’t argue in favour of allowing same-sex marriages as simply ‘the right thing to do” without making it into a platform, then away to feck with him.

    Very true.

    What struck me about it is the problems this causes Fundy voters who have nowhere else to go (unless they go TeaTard, which piles on bigotry upon bigotry). Which may be why Glenn the Grifter was playing to religious themes at BeckWreck 2010.

    As always, this is good news for Republicans.

  200. tigris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:00

    “We feel more and more that [gay rights] activists are being deceptive in using anti-bullying rhetoric to introduce their viewpoints, while the viewpoint of Christian students and parents are increasingly belittled,”

    “Waah waah waah, we can’t bully gay people for Jesus anymore without someone pointing out that we’re whiny hate-filled infants.”

  201. Chris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:04

    He does not have to justify every ethical decision by checking whether it’s compatible with the tenets of the Party.

    Ah, but he does. He’s a conservative.

    I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve seen a conservative literally think his/her way to a conclusion only to abandon it upon finding out that it wasn’t “really conservative,” “conservative enough” or what have you.

  202. Chris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:08

    Two spectacular instances involving the same person;

    1) “I agree we needed a stimulus, just not this stimulus.”
    “Okay. What would you have done.”
    [Proceeds to outline almost exactly the Obama stimulus]
    [Is told that it is, in fact, the Obama stimulus]
    [Rather than reassessing her opinion of the president she turns out to agree with, pouts and insists that this stimulus was in fact a bad idea]

    2) Same person took an extensive web quiz to find out which Republican candidate was closest to her views. It was John McCain. She pouted again because “McCain’s not a real conservative” and went on to vote for Romney (a more real conservative there has never been), obedient to what the people on the op-ed page of the WSJ were telling her to vote for.

    Plenty of other instances, but this person and those two moments are the apex of conservative self-lobotomization. It’s been a year or two and I’m still reeling.

  203. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:10

    What struck me about it is the problems this causes Fundy voters who have nowhere else to go (unless they go TeaTard, which piles on bigotry upon bigotry). Which may be why Glenn the Grifter was playing to religious themes at BeckWreck 2010.

    I think he overplayed his hand with the religious hoo-hah, because he just doesn’t believe in the right Jesus. His rally looked like a play for conversion to the LDS, and the fundies are howling.

  204. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:27

    and the fundies are howling.

    I am unaccustomed to this sound.

    Plenty of other instances, but this person and those two moments are the apex of conservative self-lobotomization. It’s been a year or two and I’m still reeling.

    It must be pure torture to realize that Barry is as much a conservative as mainstream (read: not completely insane) Repukes. In order to oppose him from the right, you have to go a long way right to be able to draw any contrast. The wiggling, compartmentalizing views and ideas, and humping dead issues until the corpses fall to exquisite little pieces is most entertaining.

  205. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:31

    AChance said,
    August 31, 2010 at 22:40

    WTF?

    WTF indeed.

  206. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:32

    most entertaining.

    Most days, anyway.

  207. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:34

    Oh in the name of feck. The next time some bipartisan above-it-all pundits complain about the way that seemingly non-political, orthogonal issues became aligned to the democratic / republican division — so that (say) denying the possibility of climate change became a test of Republican doctrinal purity — and go on to blame both sides equally for polarising such issues, then you can point them to dingbat feckheads like Schmidt.

    So draw the line in the sand, Smitty. See how far that gets you with the closet cases. Just have your brakes checked often.

  208. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:34

    WTFWJD shirts also have baby bibs named after one of my favorite noir novels: I wake up screaming.

    Awwww. Should I ever spawn and/or adopt, Imma gonna be alllll about the Cthulu onesies.

    BTW, there should totes be Sadly, No! onesies. Cole has them. Just sayin’…

  209. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:35

    wherd erbody go?

  210. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:38

    You must be one of them potty mouthed librul terraist lovers!

    I’m just trying to hold up my end. So to speak.

  211. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:39

    wherd erbody go?

    It’s just us Westies left now, tsam.

    We OWN the night.

    .

    so….sleepy.

  212. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:40

    and the fundies are howling.

    I am unaccustomed to this sound.

    Oh my goodness, I lolded!

    You know who else was a Mormon, right?

  213. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:41

    I’m here! Just up from a five-hour nap!

    Y’all, I’m starting to go stir-crazy already, which is weird, because I am the laziest fucking person I know.

  214. guitarist manqué said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:49

    Freedumb is just another word for nothing left to choose.

    Freedom’s when you don’t have to do nothing or pay for nothing.
    We want to be free. Free as the wind.

  215. tigris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:55

    It’s just us Westies left now, tsam.

    It’s only just after 8 PM on the east coast, you know.

  216. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:56

    Two spectacular instances involving the same person;

    It’s a well known syndrome. When an adult makes a mistake, gets caught in a lie, what have you, a mature person can say oh gee, I made a mistake. Mea fucking culpa already. When a child gets caught in a lie, they just keep digging in deeper. The technical term is fractal fail. So called “conservatives” exhibit this trait every goddamn day.

  217. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:58

    tigris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:55 (kill)

    It’s just us Westies left now, tsam.

    It’s only just after 8 PM on the east coast, you know

    So, they’re all shitfaced already? Fucking lightweights.

  218. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:00

    My cat just licked my dinner.

    I wish that was some sort of euphemism, but it’s not.

  219. Smut Clyde said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:05

    So draw the line in the sand, Smitty.
    There is a statistical link between drawing lines in the sand and death by soldier, as shown by the case of Pythagoras.
    Also the sand grains are not good for my technical pen.

    Also what the feck is the point of drawing a line in the sand? The tide comes in or the wind blows and
    * * * * COMMENT REDACTED BY AUTOMATIC ALLEGORY FILTER * * * *

  220. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:07

    I wish that was some sort of euphemism. but it’s not. Sadly, No!

    c’mon, already! Go easy on the painkillers.

  221. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:08

    It’s only just after 8 PM on the east coast, you know

    Oh, I know. I also know that you people go off and have lives and shit and leave those of us still slogging away in the saltmines (shut up, Smut!) here all alone.

  222. Klaus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:09

    My cat just licked my dinner.

    Your cat likes vodka martinis?

  223. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:11

    Dammit!

    c’mon, already! Go easy on the painkillers.

    If there was a chunk of bone floating around *your* ankle, you wouldn’t say that.

    I still think the SN! onesies are a great idea. They could make literally tens of dollars!

  224. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:13

    Your cat likes vodka martinis?

    Yes, but I’m out of vodka, so she had to settle for crackers and cheese.

  225. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:17

    she had to settle for crackers and cheese.

    Luxury!

  226. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:19

    If there was a chunk of bone floating around *your* ankle, you wouldn’t say that.

    No, I’d probably say “OW OW OW OW fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!”

    Then I’d eat painkillers.

    But then I’d go vote. Did YOU vote?

  227. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:22

    It’s just us Westies left now, tsam.

    We OWN the night.

    And some beer’s about to own me HAHA!

  228. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:22

    Luxury!

    I know, right? When I was a child, we had to make our own crackers, which were paper pulp and water mixed together and dried in the hot sun. Cheese? Pshaw!

  229. M. Bouffant said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:23

    I am the laziest fucking person I know.

    Not that anyone “knows” me, but I will meet T&U on any field & challenge her for sheer laziness. I mean, I used to have a hospital urinal so I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to piss.

    The only question is whether or not the planning & preparation for not moving count for or against the total sloth quotient.

  230. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:23

    In Illinois, they let you vote by mail this year just because you want to. No more having to make up an excuse like “I’m traveling on Election Day” or whatever. When I was canvassing for my congressman, the first three people I asked signed up for a mail ballot.I f this gets done on a wide scale, it might draw enough people into the election who otherwise wouldn’t vote in a non-Prez year. Maybe enough to take the edge off the grumpy old fart vote.

  231. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:25

    You know who else was a Mormon, right?

    Yeah, plus that fucking freak who kidnapped Amy Smart, right? Wasn’t he one of those uber-fundie Mormon’s (ie-heebie jeebie inducing fucking creep).

    Those crazy Mormons can sure crank out some some crazy bastards. It’s like they’re trying.

  232. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:26

    But then I’d go vote. Did YOU vote?

    I almost did, but then decided I didn’t want to take the time to educate myself properly on the candidates for best and worst dressed at the Emmy’s.I also realized I didn’t give a shit.

    Voter apathy, man. It’s going to kill our democrazy.

  233. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:26

    paper pulp and water

    Oh, I see.

    Water.

    A bit la di da, aren’t we, now?

  234. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:26

    or “democracy.” “Democrazy” works pretty well, too, though.

  235. M. Bouffant said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:27

    Bobblespeak translates the Prez.

  236. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:29

    Not that anyone “knows” me, but I will meet T&U on any field & challenge her for sheer laziness. I mean, I used to have a hospital urinal so I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to piss.

    I wet my pants a couple of times as a child (okay, I was, like, 13) because I was so intensely into a book and didn’t want to get up. My brother used to tease me about bedsores.

    No bedpans, though. I’m impressed!

    Yeah, plus that fucking freak who kidnapped Amy Smart, right? Wasn’t he one of those uber-fundie Mormon’s (ie-heebie jeebie inducing fucking creep).

    Do you mean Elizabeth Smart? Because that’s the dude.

  237. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:29

    In Illinois, they let you vote by mail this year just because you want to. No more having to make up an excuse like “I’m traveling on Election Day” or whatever. When I was canvassing for my congressman, the first three people I asked signed up for a mail ballot.I f this gets done on a wide scale, it might draw enough people into the election who otherwise wouldn’t vote in a non-Prez year. Maybe enough to take the edge off the grumpy old fart vote.

    I must ashamedly admit that since Spokane County went to all mail in, my voting in non-general elections has gone from [redacted] to 100%. The redacted number is embarrassing. I did need to support Patty Murray in this race, however. I actually have two senators here about whom I can’t find too many reasons to bitch. I do think that widespread mail-in balloting will help. Anything to get away from those fucking criminal Diebold fascism machines suits me just fine.

  238. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:30

    Do you mean Elizabeth Smart? Because that’s the dude.

    Actually I meant to say that I’m a fucking idiot.

    And yes, Elizabeth Smart. I’m thinking of the painfully sexy actress, aren’t I?

  239. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:30

    A bit la di da, aren’t we, now?

    It was rainwater in an empty coffee can. With bugs in it.

  240. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:33

    And yes, Elizabeth Smart. I’m thinking of the painfully sexy actress, aren’t I?

    Yeah, she’s cute.

    Can I just take a moment to say how much I fucking hate sensible shoes? I’m not judging anyone who wears them (they are much smarter than I, for sure), but uuuugh.

  241. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:33

    Candi Cushman, an education analyst for the James Dobson-founded group

    Candi Cushman sounds like such a porn star name, doesn’t it?

  242. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:35

    Also what the feck is the point of drawing a line in the sand? The tide comes in or the wind blows and
    * * * * COMMENT REDACTED BY AUTOMATIC ALLEGORY FILTER * * * *

    This comment is fucking awesome.

    It makes me all tickly in my private areas to watch Conservatives put each other under the latest, greatest fucking scrutiny troll scrutiny. You know a bloodbath is sure to follow. What bothers me and gives me funnies at the same time is that people like Sarah Palin and Rush always come out on top of these fucking things. Speaks to the weakness of mind that is conservatism.

  243. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:35

    Candi Cushman sounds like such a porn star name, doesn’t it?

    Oh, totes.

  244. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:37

    Can I just take a moment to say how much I fucking hate sensible shoes? I’m not judging anyone who wears them (they are much smarter than I, for sure), but uuuugh.

    Dude, are you sure high heels are a good idea with a broken ankle?

  245. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:37

    Candi Cushman, an education analyst for the James Dobson-founded group

    It does have a pornstar ring (V_R, you fill it in) to it, yes.

    What’s a edumacation analist? sum1 who analizes how to get rid of it?

  246. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:38

    Sara Palin’s rider. Could be worse.

  247. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:38

    Candi Cushman sounds like such a porn star name, doesn’t it?

    Mebbe sounds like. Looks? No so much.

    http://www.google.com/images?q=Candi%20Cushman&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=960&bih=485

  248. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:41

    Dude, are you sure high heels are a good idea with a broken ankle?

    Uh, no. I was just looking at sensible shoes because about 2 pairs (one of which is falling apart) of my somewhat (not ridiculously so, I think) large shoe wardrobe are acceptable to wear in my condition. In fact, it’s probably going to be about a year before I can wear them again. So I was looking at flats. And most of them are boring and about as uncomfortable as heels because they have no arch support.

  249. Smut Clyde said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:43

    Sara Palin’s rider

    BRAIN BLEACH BRAIN BLEACH

  250. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:46

    BRAIN BLEACH BRAIN BLEACH

    You know, thanks a lot, Smut. The idea that Sarah Palin would be into pony play never crossed my mind until just now. Really. I appreciate it.

  251. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:46

    Uh, no.

    Irony fail on my part.

    The missus has all kinds of cute Sketchers, if that helps.

  252. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:47

    “Sara Palin’s rider”

    No fucking way am I clicking on that. Goatse would be preferable to anything and everything that comes to mind. EVERYBODY has to do a sex tape anymore.

  253. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:48

    Rassen frassen kiwi bastiges

  254. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 2:52

    Irony fail on my part.

    Nah, dude, it’s cool. I wasn’t being ironic, just complaining about having to give up something pretty for, you know, my health.

  255. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:20

    just complaining about having to give up something pretty for, you know, my health.

    I think it’s okay for you to smoke high heels in your condition.

    Also, let me repeat word for word what my father said to me in the emergency room when I dislocated my knee climbing scaffolding when I was 31: Welcome to middle age.

  256. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:21

    Also, let me repeat word for word what my father said to me in the emergency room when I dislocated my knee climbing scaffolding when I was 31: Welcome to middle age.

    We’re dying to know what your response was…

  257. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:23

    Welcome to middle age.

    During which no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

    Stop giving me the Trig Look.

  258. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:30

    We’re dying to know what your response was…

    He was 67 at the time. My response was “You’re planning on living to 134?”

  259. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:31

    Welcome to middle age.

    I was thinking the same thing when I saw “give up something pretty for, you know, my health.” but I thought I’d go easy on her.

    Ah well, fuck that.

    HEY T&U YOU’RE GETTING OLD! HAHAHAHAHA!

  260. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:37

    The only question is whether or not the planning & preparation for not moving count for or against the total sloth quotient.

    An interesting thought. Terry Pratchett wrote a character in one of his Discworld novels who takes a very system-wide view of laziness, doing stuff like staying in great physical condition because the overall effort is less to do that than to drag extra weight around.

  261. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:40

    I AM NOT MIDDLE-AGED!!!!!

    I didn’t expect to give up high heels for at least another decade. Motherfucker.

  262. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:41

    BTW, if I do only live to 60, I’m going to be PISSED and I’m gong to blame the Baby Boomers.

  263. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:42

    “gong”? Fuck it.

  264. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:42

    I AM NOT MIDDLE-AGED!!!!!

    Of course not! Women are never middle-aged.

    Certain-aged, sure.

  265. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:47

    Terry Pratchett wrote a character in one of his Discworld novels who takes a very system-wide view of laziness…

    So did Robert Heinlein, in one of his Lazarus Long novels. I thought it was Slipstick Libby but according to GOOG and Wikipedia I’m wrong. It’s an interesting and constructive idea of being lazy.

    Too much work for me to follow up on though.

  266. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:51

    An interesting thought. Terry Pratchett wrote a character in one of his Discworld novels who takes a very system-wide view of laziness, doing stuff like staying in great physical condition because the overall effort is less to do that than to drag extra weight around.

    Well, maybe I’m not lazy, then. I just have poor self-discipline and impulse control. Which is something I already knew.

  267. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:54

    And yes, Elizabeth Smart. I’m thinking of the painfully sexy actress, aren’t I?

    Um, don’t you mean Amy Smart? Elizabeth is a famous kidnap victim.

  268. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:55

    Wait, I just realized you were correcting yourself. Sorry, never mind.

  269. Lurking Canadian said,

    September 1, 2010 at 3:57

    It’s like Abbott and Costello up in here with the two Smarts.

  270. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:05

    Wait, I just realized you were correcting yourself. Sorry, never mind.

    Being corrected yes. Gaffe of the day award to tsam!

    Thank you. Thank you. I’d uh, like to thank drug use, and stress, and a general disdain for news concerning the “missing white woman”, oh and a (hopefully) age related loss of short term memory. Thank you all!

  271. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:06

    It’s like Abbott and Costello up in here with the two Smarts.

    Who’s on crack?

  272. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:15

    It’s an interesting and constructive idea of being lazy.

    I seriously think it’s something we should try to sneak into the public education curriculum.

  273. Smut Clyde said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:16

    “We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.”

  274. cAnceR haT said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:16

    It’s like Abbott and Costello up in here with the two Smarts.

    Who’s on crack?


    Pamela Smart - Third base/ D block

  275. justme said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:20

    Lazarus Long was indeed “The Man Who Was Too Lazy To Fail.” The tale was told in Time Enough For Love.

    Damn, it’s been a long time since I read that.

  276. justme said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:26

    Pamela Smart – Third base

    Jesus Christ, dude. Third base? With her? Why don’t you just speed-date Lorena Bobbitt?

  277. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:27

    I seriously think it’s something we should try to sneak into the public education curriculum.

    Well I’ve been told that today’s education is dumbing down the kids and they’re all stupid and lazy and thugs and aren’t like we were back before electricity and adult diapers!

    I won’t have them on my prrrecious lawn….

  278. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:34

    I’ve been told that today’s education is dumbing down the kids and they’re all stupid and lazy and thugs…

    Exactly! So why not make them productively lazy?

  279. cAnceR haT said,

    September 1, 2010 at 4:56

    I don’t give a darn shortstop and I don’t know’s third base?

  280. Commissar Claw said,

    September 1, 2010 at 5:03

    Republican Decency is usually limited to politely discussing ways in which other people will be fucked raw without actually using the word fuck.

  281. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 5:14

    I seriously think it’s something we should try to sneak into the public education curriculum.

    No.

    Smacks of effort.

  282. justme said,

    September 1, 2010 at 5:29

    Smacks of effort.

    Perhaps if you just left it laying around.

  283. Anonymous said,

    September 1, 2010 at 6:12

    It’s an interesting and constructive idea of being lazy.

    I seem to remember Larry Wall talking about laziness as a virtue in the Programming Perl book, in the form of doing things like making very modular code bits you can use over and over again, and documenting them well so that others can use them (and for that matter, if you have to tweak them much later, it’ll be easier to know what you did).

  284. cAnceR haT said,

    September 1, 2010 at 6:14

    If you want to know the easy way to do something ask a lazy person.

  285. M. Bouffant said,

    September 1, 2010 at 6:28

    ask a lazy person

    That’s going to cost you. I’m lazy, not stupid.

  286. cAnceR haT said,

    September 1, 2010 at 7:02

    ask a lazy person

    That’s going to cost you. I’m lazy, not stupid.

    I didn’t call anyone stupid. But since I know you are lazy, you could be a wealth of information.

  287. Lesley said,

    September 1, 2010 at 8:06

    While Tintin’s been duking it out with puffcheeks, I’ve been having fun with Dan Gainor, Bozelle’s other shoulder monkey.

    Apparently his day job is twittering angry missives at liberals.

  288. Interrobang said,

    September 1, 2010 at 8:25

    Welcome to middle age.

    Shit, man, if dislocating your kneecap means you’re “middle aged,” I’d better buy a coffin with the rest of my unemployment. Given that I dislocated my kneecap (for the first time) when I was 17, by that metric, I’ve got about six months left…

    Cerebral palsy means never having to say you’re sorry…for being able to bitch like a crotchety old lady about your goddamn arthritis before you’re out of your early thirties.

  289. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 9:00

    Apparently his day job is twittering angry missives at liberals.

    Dude, no kidding! Between you and Oliver Willis, he must have spent at least three hours coming up with all those witty ripostes.

    Cerebral palsy means never having to say you’re sorry…for being able to bitch like a crotchety old lady about your goddamn arthritis before you’re out of your early thirties.

    Oh, yeah, I think you’re more than entitled. Not that I ever thought that people with mobility and pain issues were wimps, but I really do have newfound respect for them. I’m fucking cranky as hell, and this is a temporary and not-that-terrible state.

  290. Smut Clyde said,

    September 1, 2010 at 9:22

    I seem to remember Larry Wall talking about laziness as a virtue in the Programming Perl book

    AHEM.

  291. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 11:04

    Shit, man, if dislocating your kneecap means you’re “middle aged,” I’d better buy a coffin with the rest of my unemployment. Given that I dislocated my kneecap (for the first time) when I was 17, by that metric, I’ve got about six months left…

    Knee, not kneecap. Much more painful, much more difficult to reset.

  292. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 11:05

    I seem to remember someone in this thread talking about laziness as a virtue, but I can’t be arsed scrolling upwards.

  293. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:47

    I heard that there’s some debate about who here is laziest. I’d like to enter this debate, but that would require effort. Would someone like to be my proxy?

  294. Tea Party PROUD said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:48

    t is wierd to me because it seems the left loves things like sex, porn etc. The more corrupt you are the closer in the circle you are. They can’t understand Glen’s rally or millions of Americans that are sick and tired of how base we have become. We have truly lost our soul to money, greed and sex. Not sure if it is in that order? I also think that for so long the left was known for rallys etc, the right and conservatives were too busy working, making the money and paying the taxes. They had no idea what they have awoken. Mosty we are educated, understand the issues and are true blooded Americans! Our nature does not understand this is the best it can be and we are going down, as Obama seems to think. Our natured does not uderstand nor do we want hand out from government. WE have no interest in government giving us anything or taking anything from us! Our nature understands we can make our own way, pray to God who has blessed this country and be free to pursue happiness. They have awoken a Giant and we are not going back to sleep. To much is at stake!

  295. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:50

    Would someone like to be my proxy?

    VMR

  296. Beck is my HERO said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:54

    That’s right. Just shows how hateful and wretched such people can be. History repeats itself. They tried to do the same thing to MLK. They have to destroy anyone that supports American liberty and true equality. They have to destroy any good man or woman even if it means that they must become a criminal to do so. I pray to God that He will send his angels to keep Glenn Beck and his family safe. I worry that thier hate will become so great that they will resort to violence just as they did with MLK. It seems so does Mrs. Beck since she asked his to wear a vest at 8/28. Please Lord God send your angels to keep Glenn Beck safe from the evils of hateful men. We, your people, need his voice. Glory and praise to our God. Who alone gives light to our days. Many are the blessings he bares to those who trust in his ways. In nomine Patris, et Filli, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen

  297. USA is AWSOME said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:56

    This was all so utterly PREDICTABLE. I don’t believe for one second that he is still hoping for someone ,somewhere to come forward with any kind of damaging evidence they can find. It also shows that they HAVEN’T listened to Glenn over the years- to those of us that have- he ADMITS to being a dirtbag when he was drinking- who knows what he did when drunk. But all of that is swept away when you finally admit that you have a problem and need help. When you have no where else to go- you look up and dedicate yourself to God and he forgives you all. There is not much that Soros and his ilk can dig up or manufacture that would change my mind about Glenn. I believe in redemption and one of the things I truly admire about Glenn is that he is flawed and openly admits it. He doesn’t put on a superior air and hence is one of “US.” I have little patience for pretentious people. god made us all flawed as a human race and we were meant to strive to better ourselves and help others to do the same all throughout our lives- pretending to be superior is to spit in the eye of his task for us. I thank GOD for his gift of those like Glenn,Sarah Palin,Alveda King, and everyone else just like them- these are my role models, I can only hope to face the adversity they have someday and to rise above it to reach the masses. GOD bless them.

    You liberals are not us. You are vermin. You know what we must do with vermin.

  298. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 12:58

    I just want to say that NuTroll is A-DORABLE.

    HI! Hi there!! Aren’t you a cutie? Want a sugarcube?

  299. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:02

    “You liberals are not us. You are vermin. You know what we must do with vermin.”

    Sounds kinda kinky to me, but us liberals try not to judge.

  300. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:33

    I just want to say that NuTroll is A-DORABLE.

    HI! Hi there!! Aren’t you a cutie? Want a sugarcube?

    If you feed him, he’s just going to follow you home and crap on your carpet.

  301. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:35

    Oh crap.

  302. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:50

    You liberals are not us. You are vermin. You know what we must do with vermin.

    Eliminationist Rhetoric?

    Check!

  303. N__B said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:52

    Eliminationist Rhetoric?

    Personally, I avoid speechifying while sitting on the can.

    But that’s just me.

  304. Looch said,

    September 1, 2010 at 13:54

    It followed the “Oh crap” comment from VS nicely.

    N__B creates THREAD CONVERGENCE!

  305. USA is AWSOME said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:00

    Elimininationist is what liberals say when we say common sense and practical ways to keep America free.

  306. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:14

    Wow. The cut and paste crowd is in da house. I’ve seen that screed before. It wasn’t readable the first time, either.

    Asshole-iness: 1
    Intelligence: 0

  307. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:15

    “pretending to be superior is to spit in the eye of his task for us”

    You mean, like, saying that you’ve read “all the newspapers”?

  308. Major Kong said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:19

    You liberals are not us. You are vermin. You know what we must do with vermin.

    Too bad for you I’m not the gun control kind of liberal.

  309. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:43

    These Beckian Ubermensch sure like to channel their inner Hobbes. Their lives should be solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.

    War of all against all! Sounds like fun, if I weren’t so fucking lazy.

  310. Chris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 14:47

    When you have no where else to go- you look up and dedicate yourself to God and he forgives you all. There is not much that Soros and his ilk can dig up or manufacture that would change my mind about Glenn. I believe in redemption and one of the things I truly admire about Glenn is that he is flawed and openly admits it. He doesn’t put on a superior air and hence is one of “US.” I have little patience for pretentious people.

    Oddly enough, the latest Troofus incarnation is exactly the kind of person who squeals like a stuck pig when Obama or anyone else apologizes for inexcusable conduct by the United States in the past (the deaths of 1,000,000+ Iraqis, for example), because “America has nothing to apologize for, we are the greatest freest country in the world,” etc.

    I also have little patience for pretentious people, especially when their pretentiousness is based on something they did nothing to earn or achieve (e.g. the nationality they were born into). That’s why there’s a D on my voter card.

  311. A. Hister said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:12

    Elimininationist is what Juden rats say when we say common sense and practical ways to keep Germany free.

  312. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:15

    “They’re trying to make [Ground Zero] their new Mecca.”

  313. gocart mozart said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:18

    ‘Freedumb is just another word for nothing left to choose.’

    This is big win for big bad bald bastard. Two golf claps for you sir.

  314. Mysticdog said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:18

    is wierd to me because it seems the left loves things like sex, porn etc.

    Aww…. does someone have a tiny penis? Poor little guy, hating sex because it just leads to more humiliation. There there, little wingnut. There there…

  315. Carribbean Walrus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:20

    Since we’re on the topic of lady smarts (heh) we should include Jean Smart, the actress of “Designing Women” and “24″ and the movie version of “The Brady Bunch”. In it, as I remember, she wants to help Papa Brady (Gary Cole) prepare for christmas by offering to wrap his package.

  316. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:21

    Tim Graham in his butchest outfit, which probably consists of — (horrifying image alert) — size forty-six jeans and a pizza-stained wife-beater.

    See, I have to disagree with you, Tintin. While I can’t argue with the jeans, I think the pizza stained wife beater is probably a little over the top.

    What you mean is his moob-binding t shirt.

  317. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:22

    Naughty word count: fuck(8), butt(2), cocksucking(3), titty(3), ass(2), douchebag(2), balls(1).

    Fixed for FUCKyoubusting.com accuracy.

  318. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:25

    Well, Tim, now that I know for a fact that you read this blog, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention that the world will eventually learn about your furry snuff porn collection. It’s only a matter of time.

    I forsee an upcoming arrest for “indecent behavior with roadkill” in Tammy’s future.

  319. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:27

    For the record, I do NOT own 4 pair of these.

    Rumour has it, however, that you own several pairs of knickers.

    And I don’t mean the American kind, I mean the British kind.

  320. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:32

    I’ll grab an Alpaca too.

    Alpaca lunch for you.

  321. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:37

    What you mean is his moob-binding t shirt.

    I’m just going to pretend those are made for hot tomboys with big boobs.

  322. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:40

    Llama grabbing it when I leave for work.

  323. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:43

    Llama grabbing it when I leave for work.

    Do you work with plastics? Do you llamanate?

  324. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:47

    Do you work with plastics? Do you llamanate?

    He makes decor, like camelabras.

  325. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:56

    He makes decor, like camelabras.

    I thought perhaps he ran a small milk farm, a dromedary.

  326. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:58

    I thought perhaps he ran a small milk farm, a dromedary.

    Sounds like difficult work. Lucky for him, it’s hump day.

  327. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:58

    Sounds like difficult work. Lucky for him, it’s hump day.

    The work ebbs and flows. The weeks’ ungulate.

  328. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 15:59

    He makes decor, like camelabras.

    These punsters are ruminating this thread. Wake up, Sheeple!

  329. LittlePig said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:01

    Good grief, lllama puns. I’ll have to find my silk pajamas.

  330. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:02

    Good grief, lllama puns. I’ll have to find my silk pajamas pyllamas.

    Fixed for the spirit of the thing.

  331. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:03

    Wake up, Sheeple!

    Cud you keep it down, please?

  332. gocart mozart said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:05

    Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
    Benjamin: Yes, sir.
    Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
    Benjamin: Yes, I am.
    Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
    Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

  333. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:08

    This thread reminds me of that big hit song by the Burros “Living in the Plastic Age

  334. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:13

    Cud you keep it down, please?

    Why? You feeling like something the cat drug in?

    Drudge has Word Salad $arah’s visit to Iowa highlighted as thought it was some big deal. You can almost sense the starbursts flowing from Rick Lowry’s panties.

  335. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:16

    Cud you keep it down, please?

    Why? You feeling like something the cat drug in?

    All that grass last night…

  336. gocart mozart said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:19

    She’s talking about a dead mouse! Don’t be an idiot Actor!

  337. Oblio's Cap said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:20

    wrong gender, mate.

    POOP

  338. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:23

    She’s talking about a dead mouse! Don’t be an idiot Actor!

    Obviously, you’ve never owned a cat you let outside…they chew grass then come back in, find the most expensive piece of rug or fabric lying horizontal (usually the really nice silk tie I left on the bed while getting undressed) and vomit it back up on that.

  339. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:24

    POOP

    OMFG. That satire? Is pretty much exactly what some dumbass dude said in the video from the Glenn Beck soiree I linked to earlier.

    Wingnuts are going to put The Onion out of business. On the upside, it does give the SN! guys more material.

  340. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:27

    Obviously, you’ve never owned a cat you let outside…they chew grass then come back in, find the most expensive piece of rug or fabric lying horizontal (usually the really nice silk tie I left on the bed while getting undressed) and vomit it back up on that.

    Have you ever had a cat that made a sound like she was possessed and then vomited up the most GIGANTIC FUCKING BUG YOU HAVE EVER SEEN? How the hell did she even swallow it in the first place???

    This happened at least three times.

  341. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:29

    Oh, and mine don’t go outside, but boycat sure likes to puke in high-traffic areas, ensuring that someone will step in it barefoot.

  342. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:36

    Have you ever had a cat that made a sound like she was possessed and then vomited up the most GIGANTIC FUCKING BUG YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?

    Oh yes! My family had a cat when I was growing up that we used to let roam the alleys and backstreets of NYC. He was very clever. I’d watch him from the window pick up these really big waterbugs, hold them in his mouth then come up to present them like trophies to my mom.

  343. Mary-Sue Ruppert said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:48

    The fact is, I’m afraid the new troll is better at cutting and pasting then I am – AND IT’S ALL AL GORE’S FAULT!

  344. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:50

    Cats? The thread has become a cat vomi forum?

    FUCKERS NEED TO UP THE FUCKING PROFANITY YOU CUNTS

  345. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:53

    FUCKERS NEED TO UP THE FUCKING PROFANITY YOU CUNTS

    Blow me!

    Wait…you might take me seriously…

  346. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:54

    Tea Party PROUD

    Hm. Who else is so proud, they hold pride parades….? I can’t seem to recall.

  347. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:55

    FUCKERS NEED TO UP THE FUCKING PROFANITY YOU CUNTS

    DONT TEASE THE FUCKING PANTHER, SISTER.

  348. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:56

    Hm. Who else is so proud, they hold pride parades….? I can’t seem to recall.

    The only place you’ll find a rainbow with just one color.

  349. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:56

    hold them in his mouth then come up to present them like trophies to my mom.

    I had a cat who was, um, not clever, and although she went outside all the time, the only trophy she ever brought to me was a pair of my grey socks.(Which I still have 13 years on, not because I wear them, but because I’m a sentimental bastard).

    Oh, also, COCK PISS SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCKERS ASSHOLE.

    Better?

  350. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:56

    Hm. Who else is so proud, they hold pride parades….? I can’t seem to recall.

    The only place you’ll find a rainbow with just one color.

    White? You mean a combination of the entire rainbow, closeted in just one colour?

  351. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:57

    Oh, also, COCK PISS SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCKERS ASSHOLE.

    Better?

    Only if you show us your tits.

  352. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 16:58

    Only if you show us your tits.

    Seeing that it was Peej’s request, I don’t think so.

  353. Nymstradamus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:03

    I pray to God that He will send his angels to keep Glenn Beck and his family safe.

    If only MLK had the power of wingnut prayers to keep him safe.

  354. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:04

    Seeing that it was Peej’s request, I don’t think so.

    Fuck!

    God-fucking-dammit, what the fuck does a fucking guy gotta fucking do around fucking here to see a fucking pair of fucking tits?

    Fuck me!

  355. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:04

    If only MLK had the power of wingnut prayers to keep him safe.

    But don’t you see? They did! The safest place for MLK was in heaven, next to Jesus, Gandhi and God, so they ensured he was safe!

  356. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:06

    God-fucking-dammit, what the fuck does a fucking guy gotta fucking do around fucking here to see a fucking pair of fucking tits?

    Enter your credit card number.

  357. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:07

    Enter your credit card number.

    Oh.

  358. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:07

    God-fucking-dammit, what the fuck does a fucking guy gotta fucking do around fucking here to see a fucking pair of fucking tits?

    Have you tried paying your cable bill?

  359. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:08

    Damn you and your quick, presumably drug-free wit, tsam!

  360. Willy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:08

    But don’t you see? They did! The safest place for MLK was in heaven, next to Jesus, Gandhi and God, so they ensured he was safe!

    Gives the phrase “I will pray for you” a whole different meaning. Leaving out the “to get shot” is part of the Nice Christian thing. God knows what they’re thinking anyway.

  361. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:11

    Gives the phrase “I will pray for you” a whole different meaning. Leaving out the “to get shot” is part of the Nice Christian thing.

    My aunt told me last Sunday that she would pray for god to bestow blessings on me during the following week. Seeing that last week was one of the worst of my life, I think “blessings” actually meant “Shit that will frustrate and piss you off to no end.”

  362. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:13

    My aunt told me last Sunday that she would pray for god to bestow blessings on me during the following week. Seeing that last week was one of the worst of my life, I think “blessings” actually meant “Shit that will frustrate and piss you off to no end.”

    No no! This period of tribulation is a gift from God to help you appreciate when things are going well!

    ::blink::

    You know, that shit used to make sense to me when the pastor said it…

  363. Willy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:19

    This period of tribulation is a gift from God to help you appreciate when things are going well!

    You know, that shit used to make sense to me when the pastor said it…

    The same saying also makes sense when he’s got his dick up your ass.

  364. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:19

    No no! This period of tribulation is a gift from God to help you appreciate when things are going well!

    Ugh. That’s almost as bad as “Things can get any worse!” Um, yes, yes they can. Please don’t say that.

    She said, “I don’t know what you consider a blessing, but just be on the look out for lots of them this week!”

    The thing is, I actually WAS. I suppose if “lessons from life you really do need to take seriously this time around” are considered “blessings,” then I haz them.

    BTW, she sounds much more obnoxious than she was. She basically prefaced it by saying that she knew I was an unbeliever, but if it would be okay with me, she was going to pray for things to get better. Which is nice. But I’m going to ask her never to do it again.

  365. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:20

    “Fuck me!”

    Umm, stats? Pic?

  366. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:23

    She said, “I don’t know what you consider a blessing, but just be on the look out for lots of them this week!”

    The thing is, I actually WAS. I suppose if “lessons from life you really do need to take seriously this time around” are considered “blessings,” then I haz them.

    Well, let’s count what little good did come out of the week.

    For one thing, you got away from that annoying co-worker. You’ve been forced to sit home and meditate on things going on in your life. You’ve been given at least one valuable lesson, if you pay attention to it. You’ve devoted attention to yourself.

    Small consolations, I know, but it sometimes help to realize that out of tribulation comes opportunity.

  367. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:24

    Tell your aunt that god answered her prayers, as he does all prayers. nd that the answer was, as almost always, NO

  368. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:24

    Umm, stats? Pic?

    53 SWM, erstwhile bi-curious, ten uncut, athletic.

  369. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:25

    The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. Llamas are larger than frogs. Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout:

    Look out, there are llamas!

  370. Bitter Scribe said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:27

    When I was knocking on doors for my congressman I noticed a stuffed llama in one guy’s hallway. He said his wife is from Peru. Should I be worried?

  371. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:29

    You’ve been given at least one valuable lesson, if you pay attention to it.

    Take your bike in for regular tuneups? Don’t ride drunk, unless you’re going to be hurt badly, then DO ride drunk for all the painkilling properties of alcohol? Buy a fucking helmet already? :)

    Small consolations, I know, but it sometimes help to realize that out of tribulation comes opportunity.

    Nah, I know. And it could be a lot worse. Plus, my arms are already getting all buff from dragging my ass around and walking on crutches.

  372. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:32

    Tell your aunt that god answered her prayers, as he does all prayers. nd that the answer was, as almost always, NO

    It’s the thought that counts, though.

    And she’s a geologist, so at least she doesn’t believe that the earth is 6,000 years old or any of that kind of shit.

  373. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:32

    No no! This period of tribulation is a gift from God to help you appreciate when things are going well!

    I like Terry Pratchett’s assertion that “it is God’s will” is just the grown up version of “because, that’s why”.

  374. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:36

    Plus, I only have to shave about 3/4 of my legs right now and paint, like, three toenails on my right foot, so that’s nice.

  375. Chris said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:42

    I go away for a couple hours and the thread turns to…

    The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. Llamas are larger than frogs. Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout:

    Look out, there are llamas!

    Damn you vile Lunacy! That was totally going to be my contribution.

  376. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:45

    Llamas son mas grandes que las ranas

  377. Whale Chowder said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:45

    I only have to shave about 3/4 of my legs right now and paint, like, three toenails on my right foot, so that’s nice.

    That quote is right next to the dictionary entry for the phrase “grasping at straws.”

  378. tsam said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:45

    Llama 3D

    I smell a blockbuster!

  379. Pupienus Maximus said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:48

    Well, let’s count what little good did come out of the week.

    Nice sentiments but it’s just the fallacy of the broken window all over again. That which is seen, yes all well and good. Aside from the escape from the annoying coworker, T&U could have done those things without painfully fucking up her ankle. And at far lest cost, both materially and emotionally.

  380. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:49

    Nice sentiments but it’s just the fallacy of the broken window all over again. That which is seen, yes all well and good. Aside from the escape from the annoying coworker, T&U could have done those things without painfully fucking up her ankle. And at far lest cost, both materially and emotionally.

    Could have, but didn’t. Forced to, now.

  381. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:54

    Llamas son muuuuuuuyyyyy perigroso!

  382. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:56

    That quote is right next to the dictionary entry for the phrase “grasping at straws.”

    I am a lazy femme, so that’s actually a lot better than it might sound.

  383. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:58

    Oh, and be sure to keep up on the important news with the Daily Llama.

  384. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:58

    Could have, but didn’t. Forced to, now.

    But I was getting there anyyyywaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy. That’s why I pay someone to listen to me whine. It didn’t have to be so sudden!

  385. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 17:59

    Llamas son muuuuuuuyyyyy perigroso!

    Siga el llama no entra en la estación, no salga afuera! Escuche las instrucciones de la tripulación del tren o de la policía.

  386. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:05

    Although escaping annoying co-worker is nice. Even if she keeps sending me stupid-ass emails about stuff because she’s not smart enough to figure it out according to context.

  387. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:10

    “God-fucking-dammit, what the fuck does a fucking guy gotta fucking do around fucking here to see a fucking pair of fucking tits?”

    You’re on the INTERTUBES right now, aren’t you?

  388. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:11

    You’re on the INTERTUBES right now, aren’t you?

    Yes.

    Wait.

    You’re saying there’s porn?

    On the internet?

  389. vacuumslayer said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:13

    I heard a rumor…

  390. actor212 said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:14

    I heard a rumor…

    Um, I’ll be right back.

    Better give me an hour. At least.

  391. smedley said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:15

    Homer Simpson’s stupider cousin, the former Senator from Wyoming, said:

    “The system that automatically awards disability benefits to some veterans because of concerns about Agent Orange seems contrary to efforts to control federal spending”

    Simpson further observed that when he shits his pants, it begins to stink almost immediately.

  392. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:22

    Oh! I also just learned that I’m taller than I thought I was. I just moved my crutches up an inch and they’re much better. Unless my head and my neck are extraordinarily small compared to the rest of my body.

  393. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:52

    <a href=http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ee8abffacd/superego-supershort-5-old-timey-miscellany-from-superego?rel=player&playlist=273142#This is for Actor.

    Sorta NSFW, if the ghosts from Pacman describing doing Mrs. Pacman is, you know, NSFW.

  394. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 1, 2010 at 18:54

    goddammit.

    Try that again.

  395. jim said,

    September 1, 2010 at 19:02

    The thread has become a cat vomi forum?

    Runny versus Lumpy: the debate rages on!
    Stain Removal Tips
    The “Glurk-Glurk-Glurk” Alert = Countdown To Pukageddon

    Old thread is old.

    Also, it just struck me: this whole “Islamofascists Hate Us For Our Freedoms” thing is verging on terminally stale, so why hasn’t Regnery/AEI/Liberty U come out with The Protocols Of The Elders Of Islam yet?

    Talk about being asleep at the wheel!

    Goebbels Wept.

  396. 24shamsky said,

    September 1, 2010 at 22:21

    What’s a edumacation analist?

    Candy Cushman’s next movie?

  397. Smut Clyde said,

    September 2, 2010 at 0:11

    Have you ever had a cat that made a sound like she was possessed and then vomited up the most GIGANTIC FUCKING BUG YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?

    They hatch and feed in there, you know.

  398. Bilo said,

    September 2, 2010 at 3:17

    Llama con Machete 3D:

    They soon realized they just fucked with the wrong camelid.

  399. Bilo said,

    September 2, 2010 at 3:33

    Oh, and retired Sen. Simpson can be a butthole, in fact, I don’t think he can help it, it’s just his nature, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t wrong about Agent Orange. We are, as a nation, as a gov’t, and as taxpayers, about to haul off and do some mighty expensive and dubious stuff re. what the VA grants to veterans who were exp… er, who may or may not have been exposed but did serve in Vietnam between 1962 and 1975.

  400. Bilo said,

    September 2, 2010 at 3:36

    Or, that doesn’t mean he is wrong. Negatives that are not double, how do they not work if they shall not have achieved the age of 35 before not running for president of the United States?

  401. wrekt said,

    September 2, 2010 at 4:08

    guitarist manqué said,

    September 1, 2010 at 1:49

    Freedumb is just another word for nothing left to choose.

    Freedom’s when you don’t have to do nothing or pay for nothing.
    We want to be free. Free as the wind.

    Frank Zappa quote, tyvm

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