Aug
20

“Unreal” Story from Hoft Shockingly Turns Out To Be, Well, Unreal




Posted at 6:50 by Tintin
ABOVE: Jim Hoft, in front of GZ chip display
that will become the GZ Muslim triumphal
victory culinary center and halal snack aisle


Jim Hoft, The Gateway Dumbshit, offers another of his breathless dispatches on the perfidy of liberals who are, apparently, giving the keys to Fort Knox to the Mooslim terrorists while snatching innocent Christian infants from the teats of their mothers and then grinding them up in blenders to be used in acai berry, baby flesh and artichoke slushies drunk by Muslims each evening during the month of Ramadan.

Here’s the headline of Hoft’s latest:

Unreal. New York Officials Refuse to Allow Christians to Rebuild Church Destroyed on 9-11

And the post itself:

OK… Now this ought to make your blood boil.
New York officials have killed plans to rebuild a Greek Orthodox Church near Ground Zero.

And, yet these same officials are bending over backwards for the Ground Zero Victory Mosque planners.
Unreal.

Of course, if true, this would be an outrage. But this tale, like so many of the tales propagated by Hoft (including his recent terrified report of a baboon running loose in St. Louis and endangering the whole town), is just too silly and improbable to be believed by anybody but the most self-soiled of bedwitters (all of which can be found in Hoft’s comment section). So, is the nixed church story true? Sadly, No!

Originally, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey announced an agreement where the St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church, which was completely destroyed when one of the Twin Towers collapsed on it, would be rebuilt at a new and larger location east of its original site. The Port Authority would buy from the Church the land on which the church building initially stood in exchange for $20 million and the larger land parcel as well as committing to spend an additional $40 million on improvements for the site. The church and the Port Authority were unable to agree finally to the terms of this deal. However, the church still owns its original parcel and can rebuild its church there. Neither the Port Authority, nor the City of New York, nor the White House, nor the Tooth Fairy, nor the local zoning commission, nor Keith Olbermann, nor Ezra Klein, nor Judge Walker nor anyone else has told the church that it cannot rebuild on that site.

Even the Fox News story cited by Hoft to support his point says that in a passage conveniently omitted by Hoft.

“St. Nicholas Orthodox Church has always had and will continue to have the right to rebuild on its original location. The question was whether public money would be spent to build a much larger church at a separate location on the site and ensuring that construction wouldn’t delay the World Trade Center further,” [Port Authority] spokesman Stephen Sigmund said in a written statement.

If you could replace Hoft’s entire brain with puréed raw goat meat, there is little question that this would raise his I.Q. by 20 to 30 points.

351 Comments »

  1. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 6:59

    Frist?

    If you could replace Hoft’s entire brain with puréed raw goat meat, there it little question that this would raise his I.Q. by 20 to 30 points.

    And, tying it together with the post downstairs, you could sell it at the Hiroshima McDonald’s and make Big Bux!

  2. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:04

    His Greek Orthodox buddies probably have some goat meat they could contribute to the cause.

    Hmm…Greek Orthodox Catholics. (Note to self: Insert some joke about “Goat-fucking child molesters” here….)

  3. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:05

    At least he admits that his fable’s unreal, but my blood’s still simmering.

    Mmmm: goat tartare!

  4. M. Bouffant said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:13

    If you covered his mug w/ said meat, it wouldn’t hurt either.

  5. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:16

    He looks like a walking PENIS with a bowl cut.

    And not in a good way.

  6. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:18

    Anybody but me think “M. O. O. N.—and that spells M00slinz! AAAAHHHH!!!!!”

  7. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:19

    BTW, that baboon was in Florissant, not St. Louis proper. Which, incidentally, is the hometown of Kimora Lee Simmons.

  8. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:20

    There should be a question mark in there somewhere. Let me show you it: ?

  9. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:21

    Plus, he thinks a baboon is a chimp. It’s not even an ape! Unfortunately the same cannot be said of him.

  10. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:22

    Anybody but me think “M. O. O. N.—and that spells M00slinz! AAAAHHHH!!!!!”

    I didn’t, but that’s funny. What’s-his-face (too lazy to look up the actor’s name) is substantially more attractive, though. Which really isn’t saying much…

  11. stackozone said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:26

    If you could replace Hoft’s entire brain with puréed raw goat meat, there it little question that this would ABSOLUTELY raise his I.Q. by 20 to 30 points.

    HOWEVER: Will no-one ever think of the poor goats?

  12. krasen said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:29

    Wait! When did the “Obama is making us become the next Greece” outrage turned into ‘Obama is NOT making us become the next Greece”? It’s really hard to stay on top of these things…

  13. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:41

    This thread’s gonna be even more capricious than usual.

    Poe’s “Murders in the Rue Morgue” unfairly slandered orangutans– baboons are actually more aggressive. I know from personal experience, having nearly been bitten by one while Karving my initials on its flank.

  14. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:43

    I didn’t, but that’s funny. What’s-his-face (too lazy to look up the actor’s name) is substantially more attractive, though. Which really isn’t saying much…

    Peter Fagerbakke. I remember that only because he was in Coach.

  15. Mickey Kaus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 7:47

    HOWEVER: Will no-one ever think of the poor goats?

    Oh, I do all the time.

    Aaaaallllllll the time.

    brb.

  16. stackozone said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:00

    Mickey Kaus said,
    | HOWEVER: Will no-one ever think of the poor goats?

    Oh, I do all the time.
    Aaaaallllllll the time.
    brb.

    Of COURSE you do, my dear Teddy.

  17. gocart mozart said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:02

    “Poe’s “Murders in the Rue Morgue” unfairly slandered orangutans”

    Poe’s Law Revised: The longer a Sadly No! thread goes on the greater the likelihood someone will reference the Rue Morgue.

    No? Not funny? Come on! Hello. (knock knock) Is this thing on?

  18. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:13

    The longer a Sadly No! thread goes on the greater the likelihood someone will reference the Rue Morgue.

    Does that mean that this one’s about to be superseded? Sadly, Probably Not!

    I haven’t been keeping up as well as I should lately, and if references to Rue Morgue are stale, mea culpa.

  19. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:17

    On the other hand, it’d probably take only a million or so years for a passel of chimpanzees with typewriters to peck out a typical S,N! thread.

  20. Another Kiwi said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:40

    The Murders in the Rue Morgue were goat written apparently. There’s all that stuff about hay in the original that got cut.

  21. justme said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:45

    On the other hand, it’d probably take only a million or so years for a passel of chimpanzees with typewriters to peck out a typical S,N! thread.

    Oh come now. It doesn’t take us nearly that long.

    I suppose if we had to use typewriters, though…

    Also too, OT.

  22. Wyatt Watts III said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:52

    The Murders in the Rue Morgue were goat written apparently.

    Actually, many of Poe’s stories were secretly written by farm animals. For example:

    The Pig and the Pendulum

    The Cask of Amonti-Baaaaa-do

    The Fall of the House of Udder

    The Pork-loined Letter

  23. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 8:58

    I suppose if we had to use typewriters, though…

    Word. Have you tried typing on an old manual lately? Dude, that qualifies as a strenuous aerobic exercise these days.

  24. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    August 20, 2010 at 9:04

    OK, time to stay the Raven’ and sink into the velvet.

  25. justme said,

    August 20, 2010 at 9:07

    The Ovine Portrait.

  26. M. Bouffant said,

    August 20, 2010 at 9:34

    a passel of chimpanzees with typewriters to peck out a typical S,N! thread.

    Neither PETA nor the Guild of Common Taters are for that.

    And the Confederation of Chimps is so indignant they’re in full-on feces-flinging mode. Way to piss ‘em off.

  27. this is Perriello country said,

    August 20, 2010 at 11:49

    Hoft +
    Pureed goat meat head =
    Profit?

  28. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 12:27

    “grinding them up in blenders to be used in acai berry, baby flesh and artichoke slushies drunk by Muslims ”

    This liberal does not share her shakes of immortality with Muslims.

    Also: GRREK orthodox church. You sure you want that, Jim? Think about it.

  29. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 12:27

    “GREEK” also works.

  30. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 20, 2010 at 12:41

    The fact is, its clear to anyone that takes the time to sit and think about what happened, what is happening and what history and learning about Islam and the players involoved that the new mosque is meant to be a statement against the West. This is not about a peaceful gesture at all. Pure and simple don’t lecture me or the public about religious tolerance. They can build whatever they want but to state that we should shut up and sit down and not state our feelings about the prank is not about being tolerant. The truth hurts and needs to be stated. I for one see what is happening in North Jersey with the Islamic presence and it is not designed to be an intergrated part of our culture.

  31. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:09

    The fact is, also, its just liek what Hitler did.

  32. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:16

    No-one could have anticipated a shitload of oil was still in the gulf.

  33. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:19

    The fact is, learn the truth about the acai berry diet!
    ~

  34. Carribbean Walrus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:22

    Mon, I don’t want to think of the crowing the wingnuts will do if the Park51 fails to be built due to lack of funding.

  35. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:24

    For once, a thread topic that I can discuss from first-hand knowledge. Two pieces of construction – the Manhattan approach to the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel* and the WTC – wiped out a holdout neighborhood on the lower west side. “Little Syria” is one name you’ll hear, but it was basically a bunch of tenements occupied by discount hardware and electronics stores and some of our swarthier brethren. St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church was literally the last holdout from this long-gone scene: a tenement building that had been cut down to 2 stories in height and whitewashed.

    St. Nick’s was (a) roughly 20′ by 100′ and (b) about twenty yards from WTC2. The church refused to sell in the 1960s and 70s, which is why the original south bridge over West Street ended ignominiously, with a dead end and stair down to the street. When WTC2 collapsed, it wiped out St. Nick’s so thoroughly that there was no indication where the church had been. (I’m the guy who officially told the NYC agency in charge of the clean-up that the building was missing, on 9/13/01.) From what I read, the church still refuses to sell in a swap for the same reason they previously refused to sell: they have an inflated idea of the value of their lot. Meanwhile, it’s a commuter congregation and most of its members had worked in the WTC, so it has no money other than an insurance settlement on the actual value of a 110-year-old converted-tenement church and no urgency to actually exist.

    *NVVP. Question: does anyone other the Port Authority of NY&NJ and the NY Metropolitan Transportation Authority abbreviate “tunnel” as “tun”?

  36. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:41

    N__B, you used to be a regular FYWP kina guy.

    You changed, man.
    ~

  37. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:44

    N__B, you used to be a regular FYWP kina guy.

    You changed, man.

    If you mean my comment above, it was simply astonishment that a S, N! post touched on my real-life experiences. If you mean me transferring from Blogger to WP, let me say that I would gladly kill every person who works at Blogger with my bare hands – possibly aided by a corkscrew – for their fucking false-positive spam detection and their fucking attitude about it. But I’ve already posted FYWP in my blig comments.

  38. Looch said,

    August 20, 2010 at 13:49

    Trig LURVES Jim Hoft. Often and fully.

    Trig is having a great day!

  39. Oblio's Cap said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:02

    Hoft likes the word “unreal”, doesn’t he. He is truly a giant striding upon the literary stage. Doubleplus Unreal!

    Did anyone else notice that the 380 million salmonella-tainted eggs all came from Galt, Iowa? How Randian!

  40. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:36

    Pure and simple don’t lecture me or the public about religious tolerance. They can build whatever they want but to state that we should shut up and sit down and not state our feelings about the prank is not about being tolerant.

    I’m sorry, Gary; I couldn’t hear you over the noise of the Republican running in New York on the “elect me so we can eminent domain this mosque into the ground” platform, let alone the piles of fundies bleating that Muslims should no longer be allowed to build mosques of any kind.

  41. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:43

    So far, down in the post-code now known as greater ground zero, we have Muslims owning land but being treated as if they don’t, and Greeks owning land but pissing everyone off because they can’t borrow what they need.

    What an awesome melting pot.

  42. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:49

    Wait….PUBLIC money? To rebuild a CHURCH?

    And HOFF is siding with the CHURCH?

    WTF????

  43. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:52

    I know from personal experience, having nearly been bitten by one while Karving my initials on its flank.

    I know a guy who carved “fancy that” on his penis. You two should talk.

  44. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:58

    Did anyone else notice that the 380 million salmonella-tainted eggs all came from Galt, Iowa? How Randian!

    A real Objectivist would be able to lay his own eggs.

  45. Cameron said,

    August 20, 2010 at 14:58

    OK, time to stay the Raven’ and sink into the velvet.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  46. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:00

    When WTC2 collapsed, it wiped out St. Nick’s so thoroughly that there was no indication where the church had been.

    So it was near the Vista Hotel? I’ve been trying to picture it in my mind.

    Yea, that is a sleazy neighborhood (swarthy residents notwithstanding). There’s a bunch of derelict bars and a couple of buildings I wouldn’t walk into if you paid me.

    But then again, it was right across the West Side Highway from the United Fruit docks. No wonder it was gamey.

    Meanwhile, it’s a commuter congregation and most of its members had worked in the WTC, so it has no money other than an insurance settlement on the actual value of a 110-year-old converted-tenement church and no urgency to actually exist.

    So they’re actually milking this, manipulating public opinion for a better deal? One that is unrealistic to begin with?

    N__B, maybe you ought to write our “good friend” Hoft and advise him of this stuff.

  47. Alex said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:01

    Only 20 to 30 points?

    What did raw, puréed goat meat ever do to you?

  48. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:01

    So far, down in the post-code now known as greater ground zero, we have Muslims owning land but being treated as if they don’t, and Greeks owning land but pissing everyone off because they can’t borrow what they need.

    Wait until they find out about the enclave of teh ghey just a few blocks north.

  49. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:06

    Off-topic: Why the fuck is recycled toilet paper so expensive? I’m trying to be a good person, here, but, you know, I wipe my ass with it.

    And they still whiten it. I mean, at least it’s not with chlorine, but why? Again, I’m wiping my ass with it.

  50. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:14

    Welp, that killed the thread. I’m so very not surprised.

  51. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:19

    Wait until they find out about the enclave of teh ghey just a few blocks north.

    Well if history’s any guide they’ll try to pretend it doesn’t exist.

    Meanwhile, shorter Byron York:

    Obama changes his name, or people will think he’s a towelhead.

  52. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:21

    Why the fuck is recycled toilet paper so expensive?

    Do you know how hard it is to wash turds out of paper?

  53. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:22

    Welp, that killed the thread. I’m so very not surprised.

    Sorry. I was out getting breakfast.

  54. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:23

    Sorry. I was out getting breakfast.

    You’re welcome.

  55. Oblio's Cap said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:24

    Do you know how hard it is to wash turds out of paper?

    If you don’t use Brawny, it’ll fall apart.

  56. Blogbuster said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:24

    Some just don’t have what it takes to ride the Blogger.

  57. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:25

    Meanwhile, shorter Byron York:

    I, personally, enjoyed the obliviousness and racism of this particular comment: “… not confused at all… the man is a Muslim or has deeper Muslim sympathies than being an American… that much is obvious!”

    Soooooo, there’s no such thing as an American Muslim? I thought I knew several.

    Guess I need to get my meds adjusted.

  58. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:32

    “the man is a Muslim or has deeper Muslim sympathies than being an American… that much is obvious!”

    It is?

    I mean, it is if you walk in predisposed to racism and bigotry, I guess. But the man spent his adult life living the American Dream. Did he perhaps see things growing up that made him realize America needed changing?

    Um, yea. After all, he’s 49 which means he spent some of his Chicago days being brutalized by the blue collar (and soon to be Reagan Democrats) white folks who were the last bastion of true northern urban bigotry: the guys who took offense because their buddies couldn’t get work in the trades because those Nigras were being hired instead.

    That wouldn’t form any kind of impression on a young attractive black man, no sirreee!

  59. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:40

    BTW, TinTin, The comments have noted this post. You’ve caused a bit of a stir there.

  60. tigris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:41

    And they still whiten it. I mean, at least it’s not with chlorine, but why? Again, I’m wiping my ass with it.

    I’ve wondered this, too. I guess they tested unbleached with focus groups and it didn’t do well, but I’d buy it.

  61. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:42

    Well, I consider myself more radical than Obama, and I’m a white chick who grew up in a post second-wave era in a place where about 95% of the people were white.

  62. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:43

    I’ve wondered this, too. I guess they tested unbleached with focus groups and it didn’t do well, but I’d buy it.

    Yeah, I mean, I don’t care.

    Maybe they think that people will think it’s dirty? I don’t get it. It’s kind of insane.

  63. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:46

    Maybe they think that people will think it’s dirty?

    People associate unwhitened toilet paper with Negroes.

    No, wait, I mean with public toilets and places that stock the absolute rock bottom cheapest toilet paper. Since your guests will probably use the bathroom, you don’t want to seem cheap.

  64. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:49

    BTW, TinTin, The comments have noted this post. You’ve caused a bit of a stir there.

    I only see one comment about Obama’s brain being replaced with pureed meat…did I miss any?

  65. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:49

    Since your guests will probably use the bathroom, you don’t want to seem cheap.

    That’s why you put out your guest toilet paper!

  66. Mark D said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:50

    Why is the creepy albino from The DaVinci Code pictured above?

    And they still whiten [toiler paper made from recycled paper]. I mean, at least it’s not with chlorine, but why? Again, I’m wiping my ass with it.

    If you’re wiping your ass with it, why the hell do you care? As long as it’s not that 80-grit stuff they have in most public bathrooms, poison ivy, or so thin you have to have 25 layers to keep your hands clean, not sure what the problem is.

    Of course, if I could see a picture of the ass in question, that may make the situation easier to understand …

  67. Willy said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:51

    Did anyone else notice that the 380 million salmonella-tainted eggs all came from Galt, Iowa?

    It’s consumers that get ill, not producers!

  68. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:54

    I only see one comment about Obama’s brain being replaced with pureed meat…did I miss any?

    You missed the troll attack just after the link hits.

  69. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:54

    I only see one comment about Obama’s brain being replaced with pureed meat…did I miss any?

    There’s one right afterward – “Fortunately, this entire article is a lie. So you don’t have to worry about it. Because it’s a lie.”

  70. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:55

    If you’re wiping your ass with it, why the hell do you care?

    That’s my point! It seems like a dumb allotment of resources, especially water. I’m trying to make up at least somewhat for taking long showers and a slight cosmetics addiction.

  71. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:55

    Of course, if I could see a picture of the ass in question, that may make the situation easier to understand …

    Yes, I agree. We need to see the ass in question to determine its need for white toilet paper.

  72. Mark D said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:55

    Soooooo, there’s no such thing as an American Muslim?

    Sure there is!

    And they’re all terraists. Even guys who have worked with the FBfuckingI. (pops)

    You silly liberal …

  73. Mark D said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:56

    That’s my point! It seems like a dumb allotment of resources, especially water.

    But if they leave it brown, how do you know when you’re done?!?!

  74. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:57

    *sigh*

    I suppose it was inevitable…

  75. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:58

    But if they leave it brown, how do you know when you’re done?!?!

    Dude, if your poo is the same color as an unbleached piece of paper, then you really need to see a doctor.

  76. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:58

    Man, some of those comments are gold,

    I will wager that the muslims will now say if church is allowed to be re-built then mosque must be allowed. They will use this as a bargaining chip.
    Building has been a church since 1916.

    If church allowed then mosque allowed? I guess the people who want English to be the national language really are uncomfortable with people being fluent in it.

    But seriously, I’m proud of this character. The same thing that dawned on French racists in the early 2000s is dawning on him; if you really want to be a patriot, you have to be ready to fuck your own religion in order to also fuck the darkie religions.

    Kill the church, for the greater good of killing the mosque!

  77. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 15:59

    Dude, if your poo is the same color as an unbleached piece of paper, then you really need to see a doctor.

    *dialing urgent care facility*

  78. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:00

    And they’re all terraists. Even guys who have worked with the FBfuckingI. (pops)

    There was a PJM interview a full year ago in which they interviewed a man sitting in the dark shadows so his face couldn’t be seen, who claimed to be an FBI member warning us against the practice of bringing in people like Rauf because that stuff was getting back to al-Qaeda.

  79. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:00

    Kill the church, for the greater good of killing the mosque!

    Look, if God wanted that church to be there, he would have shielded it from the debris, knowhutAhmean?

  80. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:01

    There was a PJM interview a full year ago in which they interviewed a man sitting in the dark shadows so his face couldn’t be seen

    Are you SURE it wasn’t a goat?

  81. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:01

    There was a PJM interview a full year ago in which they interviewed a man sitting in the dark shadows so his face couldn’t be seen, who claimed to be an FBI member warning us against the practice of bringing in people like Rauf because that stuff was getting back to al-Qaeda.

    Wow.

  82. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:03

    Look, if God wanted that church to be there, he would have shielded it from the debris, knowhutAhmean?

    Does this mean God also didn’t want the World Trade Center to be there?

  83. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:05

    Does this mean God also didn’t want the World Trade Center to be there?

    Allah willed that. God has no control over that. He’s omnipotent, not all-powerful.

  84. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:05

    Wow. It’s hard work trying to get into the mind of the terminally stupid.

  85. Mark D said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:12

    There was a PJM interview …

    Which, of course, means we can utterly ignore it.

    Dude, if your poo is the same color as an unbleached piece of paper, then you really need to see a doctor.

    **Googles color of unbleached paper**

    Um … I … uh …

  86. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:15

    **Googles color of unbleached paper**

    Um … I … uh …

    Your poo is this color? Seems awfully pale to me.

    Maybe I need to go to the doctor…

  87. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:22

    Your poo is this color? Seems awfully pale to me.

    Shittist!

    STOP JUDGING ME!

  88. 77south said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:24

    STOP JUDGING ME!
    I think she’s judging your shit, not you.

  89. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:26

    Oy vey! Now miscegenation joins the fray;

    Why hasn’t the detestable Anthony Weenie Weiner commented on this? He has an opinion on everything. I hope his marriage to a Saudi woman who was Hillary’s “friend” along with his attack on Peter King and his blessing on this Islamist cultural center put and end to his career.

  90. Harry Reid said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:27

    My office is diligently investigating these very serious allegations which I, and all serious Democrats, take very seriously. Rest assured that by this time next week we will have bulldozed under whatever is now standing wherever this guy wants a church and replaced it with a church, his choice of color and denomination, because that is how serious and sensible I am.

  91. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:29

    It’s hard work trying to get into the mind of the terminally stupid.

    If not impossible.

    Somewhat OT, but very much in the fucking retarded genre, anyone else seeing the wingnut reaction every time economic data comes in and is reported as “unexpectedly” this or that?

    The “unexpectedly” is, as anyone with a working understanding of how These Things Work, with reference to (mainly) Wall Street economists’ forecasts. So when you have as yesterday new jobs claims spike sharply, the data being outside of the full range of private sector forecasts, and therefore an unexpected spike inasfar as the markets are concerned, that’s how the spike is reported. “Unexpected”. By any sensible definition of the term.

    Across teh tubz yesterday, it was hard to miss the wingnut chubby as they collectively fapped over seeing the jobs data reported as “unexpected”. I’m so old I can remember back before Al Gore invented the internet how I did my forecasts and the newswires, bless them, reported these things exactly the same way they do now. With data coming in either as expected or not. But now it’s a left-wing conspiracy.

    And the dead-enders will not be told otherwise.

  92. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:33

    Hey, I’m not judging anyone’s shit. Far be it from me to do that.

    Across teh tubz yesterday, it was hard to miss the wingnut chubby as they collectively fapped over seeing the jobs data reported as “unexpected”.

    I don’t…what? I don’t understand…

  93. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:38

    T&U: He means right-wingers collectively delight in persistently high unemployment because they can use it against Obama and the Democrats. These were the same people who were whining about how the MSM was helping Democrats by flogging bad economic news in 2008.

  94. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:39

    Okay. It was the “unexpected” part that confused me…

  95. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:39

    Why hasn’t the detestable Anthony Weenie Weiner commented on this? He has an opinion on everything. I hope his marriage to a Saudi woman who was Hillary’s “friend” along with his attack on Peter King and his blessing on this Islamist cultural center put and end to his career.

    What a douche. Do they even read the newspaper before they shoot off their mouths?

  96. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:42

    But now it’s a left-wing conspiracy.

    Ted, you’re asking control freaks to believe in chaos theory.

  97. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:47

    Here’s but one example:

    http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2010/08/027035.php

    It would be one thing if they were saying “look, this is bad economic news”. But they get a stiffy about it being reported as “unexpected”, which is why I call them fucking retarded because they have no sense at all what the “unexpected” is in reference to.

  98. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:48

    But they get a stiffy about it being reported as “unexpected”, which is why I call them fucking retarded because they have no sense at all what the “unexpected” is in reference to.

    OH, OKAY. I thought I was being stupid, but I think I was just being smart…

  99. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:48

    But they get a stiffy about it being reported as “unexpected”, which is why I call them fucking retarded because they have no sense at all what the “unexpected” is in reference to.

    You mean that more people got thrown out of work?

    Hey, free markets rule, man!

  100. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    August 20, 2010 at 16:53

    Soooooo, there’s no such thing as an American Muslim? I thought I knew several.

    Yeah, me too. But we’re dealing with the sort of “mind” that doesn’t really comprehend distinctions between concepts of race, class, nationality, religion, or economic system.

  101. Alkonholics Anonymous said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:02

    101st Chairborne post!

  102. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:24

    Ha ha. Krauthammer pwned by a nut.

  103. Nom de Plume said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:24

    I wonder if this fuckknuckle knows what Greek Orthodox actually looks like?

  104. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:25

    When WTC2 collapsed, it wiped out St. Nick’s so thoroughly that there was no indication where the church had been.

    So it was near the Vista Hotel? I’ve been trying to picture it in my mind.

    Set back abut 60′ from West Street on the N side of Albany, facing 90 West, south of the Vista.

  105. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:31

    Set back abut 60? from West Street on the N side of Albany, facing 90 West, south of the Vista.

    Got it.

    Like I said, it’s a rat’s nest back there. I wouldn’t want to drive a garbage truck, much less go to church, around there.

  106. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:32

    I’m trying to make up at least somewhat for taking long showers and a slight cosmetics addiction.

    I’ll give you some of my water allotment if you send videos back of you using it.

  107. Zombie Chupacabra said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:32

    If you could replace Hoft’s entire brain with puréed raw goat meat

    FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

  108. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:34

    I’ll give you some of my water allotment if you send videos back of you using it.

    This.

    I’d gladly donate some of my rationed sociofascist water allotment under Herr Obamafuhrer to this cause.

  109. jim said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:37

    A real Objectivist would be able to lay his own eggs.

    Lord knows Ayn “Psychopathic Child-Killers Are Just So Swoony” Rand laid several … & sadly, publishing houses continue to re-hatch the rotten things to this day.

  110. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:39

    Ha ha. Krauthammer pwned by a nut.

    Well PWNd. Someone’s finally picking up on the fact that the conservative claim (reproduced above by Gary “Steve” Troofus) that “OMG we never said they weren’t allowed to build it!” is, in fact, a steaming pile of horseshit.

    We had to wait until after Obama’s high minded speech before any of them started coming out and saying “oh well actually what we meant was…” And it still hasn’t affected the teabagger running in New York, or the fundie group calling for a nationwide ban.

  111. Blogbuster said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:42

    I wonder if this fuckknuckle knows what Greek Orthodox actually looks like?

    Ah yes.

  112. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:44

    And it still hasn’t affected the teabagger running in New York

    He stands a snowball’s chance in hell of getting the nomination, much less winning the governorship.

    He’s a fringe candidate running against Rick Lazio, whom observant political junkies will recall was the man who practically handed Hillary her Senate seat in 2000 by assaulting her during a debate, trying to force her to sign a petition of something that no one can recall anymore.

    I mean, seriously, all he was missing in his rage was the wife-beater shirt and a mustard stain on it!

    This is the man the GOP thinks has the best chance to win in November. Hell, they were so desperate, they co-opted a Democrat (Steve Levy of Long Island) to jump parties to at least give them a primary contest.

  113. Nom de Plume said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:49

    Ah yes.

    Linked to that myself just yesterday. Puts me in mind of the Sikh who was killed shortly after 9/11. Put headgear on the wrong person, combine with epochal ignorance, and there’s no telling what will happen.

    What I’d really love to see is a survey showing a picture of a Greek Orthodox priest, along with the question, “Should this man be allowed to build a house of worship at Ground Zero?”. Take a wingnut vote on it. Hilarity will ensue.

  114. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:49

    I wonder if this fuckknuckle knows what Greek Orthodox actually looks like?

    Ah yes.

    I can only imagine the introduction:

    “Jim? I’d like to introduce Cardinal Yakouvou of the NY Greek Orthodox Diocese. he’d like to thank you for your blog post”

    “*GULP* Um, pleased to um meet you, and I was uhhhh…Look! Do ALL of you look like sand people???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

  115. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:50

    What I’d really love to see is a survey showing a picture of a Greek Orthodox priest, along with the question, “Should this man be allowed to build a house of worship at Ground Zero?”.

    Make sure you get one without a mitre.

    Um, TinTin? You’re pretty good at these sorts of things….

  116. The Goddamn Batman Does Not Actually Batten On People Himself, Although He Does Enjoy A Can Of V8 Every Day In Order To Get His Servings Of Vegetables In said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:51

    Not terribly surprised to see Jim Hoft batten on this like a couple of nude hunks on Anna Paquin [about as NSFW as you can get with a regular magazine cover]; also not surprised at N_B’s story. (I’ve seen redevelopment of a trashed-out large city block in one of the cities I’ve lived in blocked by a holdout who had somehow managed to get title to a tiny sliver of the block, barely big enough to plant a coffin in, and wanted nearly half the land value of the block for their little chunk.) If Hoft had any actual real interest in that spot–whether in development or just for a little bit of a shorter commute–he’d probably be fulminating over the Grecofascist mackerel snappers that were standing in the way of Progress.

  117. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:53

    I’ll give you some of my water allotment if you send videos back of you using it.

    What about your lipstick allotment? Can I have some of that, too?

  118. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:54

    Ayn “Psychopathic Child-Killers Are Just So Swoony” Rand

    Damn, I always forget about that! What a fucking loon.

  119. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 17:55

    Linked to that myself just yesterday. Puts me in mind of the Sikh who was killed shortly after 9/11. Put headgear on the wrong person, combine with epochal ignorance, and there’s no telling what will happen.

    My perpetual argument against racial profiling; are you honestly telling me that the people racist enough to call for it are informed enough to be able to profile one race from the other?

    The Sikhs, Hindus, Greek Orthodox and others who’ve had to put up with shit from an ignorant conservative blockhead for the last nine years because he thought they looked like terrorists beg to differ.

  120. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:00

    The Sikhs, Hindus, Greek Orthodox and others who’ve had to put up with shit from an ignorant conservative blockhead for the last nine years because he thought they looked like terrorists beg to differ.

    Whatever. If they really didn’t want to be profiled, they wouldn’t be brown.

  121. Nom de Plume said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:03

    are you honestly telling me that the people racist enough to call for it are informed enough to be able to profile one race from the other?

    If the airport security contingents I’ve dealt with are any indication, that would be a negatory.

  122. Ted the Slacker said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:04

    Puts me in mind of the Sikh who was killed shortly after 9/11.

    Also reminded me of the murder of Cinna in Julius Caesar – mob violence, mistaken identity, etc etc

  123. jim said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:12

    Damn, I always forget about that!

    Most of her fanboys don’t have a clue about it.

    Flip the coin: imagine if Howard Zinn had expressed a deep erotic yen for Squeaky Fromme or Ilsa Koch – or if Chomsky said he thought Lucretia Borgia was a stone fox … at great length … in public.

    Instant continental wingnut spooge-tsunami.

  124. Major Kong said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:12

    I’ve figured out how to get the right wingers on board with this thing.

    We rename it the “Jefferson al Davis Mosque and Southern Heritage Center”, stick a confederate flag out front and put a gun store in there for good measure.

  125. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:17

    What about your lipstick allotment? Can I have some of that, too?

    Rule 34 says “yes.”

  126. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:17

    We rename it the “Jefferson al Davis Mosque and Southern Heritage Center”, stick a confederate flag out front and put a gun store in there for good measure.

    Yeah, but what Muslim is going to want to come there?

    We need to find something that moderate Muslims and racist conservatives have in common…thinking…

  127. tigris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:22

    wingnut spooge-tsunami

    I keel you.

  128. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:26

    What about your lipstick allotment? Can I have some of that, too?

    LOL, just for you. But no deal for toilet paper. Rule #34 not withstanding.

  129. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:30

    LOL, just for you. But no deal for toilet paper. Rule #34 not withstanding.

    Yay!

    I’m going to have to throw out some floss or something to make room, though…

  130. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:31

    T&U could embrace her Mooslimmy sympathies and thusly eliminate her toilet paper dilemma. I’m just saying.

  131. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:32

    He’s a fringe candidate running against Rick Lazio, whom observant political junkies will recall was the man who practically handed Hillary her Senate seat in 2000 by assaulting her during a debate, trying to force her to sign a petition of something that no one can recall anymore.

    I’d like to think he bolts upright in bed everynight at 3am sobbing about just how stupid that looked compared to how he thought it was going to look.

  132. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:34

    I’m going to have to throw out some floss or something to make room, though…

    I’m going to have to make room on my video shelves… we all must make sacrifices!

  133. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:34

    OT, and a little late in the game, but are any Tax-a-chusetts Sadlynaughts going to Rachel Brown’s weenie roast? If so, could you ask her if she digs roughnecks with smooth heads?

    I’m, uh, asking for a friend…

  134. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:36

    “I’m going to have to make room on my video shelves… we all must make sacrifices!”

    You should just subscribe to actor’s cam streams.

  135. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:38

    T&U could embrace her Mooslimmy sympathies and thusly eliminate her toilet paper dilemma. I’m just saying.

    Far too much trouble. I’d rather just have a bidet.

  136. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:38

    You should just subscribe to actor’s cam streams.

    SHHHHHH! I’m trying to get something out of this for once!

  137. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:51

    Far too much trouble. I’d rather just have a bidet.

    Embracinging our Eurofrenchie sympathies, aren’t we?

  138. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:57

    I’m trying to get something out of this for once!

    Besides shame and humiliation? What more could you possibly want?

  139. Froley said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:57

    Zut alors, somebody left a “beignet” in my bidet.

  140. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 18:58

    Embracinging our Eurofrenchie sympathies, aren’t we?

    If cleaning my butt with a warm stream of water instead of scratchy paper is wrong, I don’t wanna be right…

  141. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:01

    Besides shame and humiliation? What more could you possibly want?

    I’m well-stocked on the shame and humiliation front. I don’t want to be greedy.

  142. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:04

    Well, “horrible fake tan” is sort of a color, Media Matters…

  143. g said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:04

    Here’s a dumb question – if you have a bidet, once you’ve cleansed with warm water, don’t you still need to dry off with something?

    I have nothing against Euro-Frenchieness, only no experience.

  144. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:08

    Here’s a dumb question – if you have a bidet, once you’ve cleansed with warm water, don’t you still need to dry off with something?

    Not dumb. I think most people have a towel that they use specifically for post-bidet drying.

    I think there are some newer toilets that have built-in bidets (although how the water isn’t contaminated, I don’t know) and also little air dryers built in.

  145. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:16

    I’m trying to get something out of this for once!

    Please don’t say such things in a discussion centered on POOPing.

  146. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:17

    I think there are some newer toilets that have built-in bidets (although how the water isn’t contaminated, I don’t know) and also little air dryers built in.

    If there isn’t a waldo to pleasure me, it’s not futuristic enough.

  147. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:24

    If there isn’t a waldo to pleasure me, it’s not futuristic enough.

    Perhaps you could find an Actor instead of a Waldo.

  148. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:24

    Please don’t say such things in a discussion centered on POOPing.

    Ew. Good point.

  149. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:25

    Here’s a dumb question – if you have a bidet, once you’ve cleansed with warm water, don’t you still need to dry off with something?

    You Yanks with your tree killing ways. They make dryers for bidets that blow warm air up your ass. A feeling that you are no doubt familiar with.

  150. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:31

    They make dryers for bidets that blow warm air up your ass.

    If I want air blown up my ass I’ll call your mom become a Repub politician.

  151. g said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:37

    Hmmm…the idea of having one’s own special little taint-towel…..Would it work like in French restaurants, where the proprietor keeps napkins in a cupboard for regular customers?

  152. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:38

    Would it work like in French restaurants, where the proprietor keeps napkins in a cupboard for regular customers?

    As long as you don’t walk around with it over your shoulder or hanging from your belt, per American bartenders and waiters, respectively.

  153. tigris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:52

    if you have a bidet, once you’ve cleansed with warm water, don’t you still need to dry off with something?

    You use a little towel, a little bigger than a washcloth.

    I think there are some newer toilets that have built-in bidets (although how the water isn’t contaminated, I don’t know) and also little air dryers built in.

    The water coming in to the tank isn’t contaminated, nor probably is the tank water, but they probably branch off the feed line rather than use tank water. They do make ones you can add to an existing toilet.

  154. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:54

    We need to find something that moderate Muslims and racist conservatives have in common…thinking…

    An anti-gay bar?

    A nudie/burqa bar?

  155. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:55

    If so, could you ask her if she digs roughnecks with smooth heads?

    I’m, uh, asking for a friend…

    DUDE!

    You promised you’d take the hit for this!

  156. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:55

    I think there are some newer toilets that have built-in bidets (although how the water isn’t contaminated, I don’t know) and also little air dryers built in.

    You’ve got to get your ass (literally) to Nihon.

    A friend of mine was so nonplussed by the heated toilet seat in a bar that he unplugged the thing.

  157. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:55

    An anti-gay bar?

    A nudie/burqa bar?

    I said “moderates.”

    I don’t think there is anything, except maybe cigarettes…

  158. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:56

    If cleaning my butt with a warm stream of water instead of scratchy paper is wrong, I don’t wanna be right…

    *shudder*

    That reminds me of the time I after I undertipped the madam–

    Um, I mean, there was this tragic mistake in a hospital…

  159. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:56

    A friend of mine was so nonplussed by the heated toilet seat in a bar that he unplugged the thing.

    The combination of plumbing, electricity, and the poor aim of bar patrons seems to me to be a disaster waiting to happen.

  160. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:57

    Perhaps you could find an Actor instead of a Waldo.

    I happen to have a special on the three shells.

    (OK, let’s see who gets THAT one)

  161. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:58

    (OK, let’s see who gets THAT one)

    I am very ashamed to say that I did.

  162. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:58

    You’ve got to get your ass (literally) to Nihon.

    My daughter alerted me to these.

    I wonder what happens if you pee on a short.

  163. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:58

    You’ve got to get your ass (literally) to Nihon.

    I think those things are awesome. But, yeah, I don’t know any Japanese, so it could also be a disaster…

  164. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 19:59

    DAMMIT! I hate you, N__B

  165. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:00

    I don’t think there is anything, except maybe cigarettes…

    Well, there’s…um, no.

    Oh wait, they both like….hm. No.

    Oh I know! How about….nnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

    Camels! And goats!

  166. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:01

    Perhaps you could find an Actor instead of a Waldo.

    Well, there’s always the Shithouse Troll.

  167. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:01

    That’s quite unfair and insulting.

    To Muslims.

  168. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:04

    I am very ashamed to say that I did.

    You do remind me of Sandra Bullock, in your extremities.

  169. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:04

    It’s hard work trying to get into the mind of the terminally stupid.

    A rock hammer works pretty well.

  170. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:05

    That’s quite unfair and insulting.

    To Muslims.

    No no no! You misunderstand.

    The Arabs could *rent* the goats and camels out to the redneck nutcases!

    You know, for the “Christmas Pageant” *wink wink*

  171. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:05

    DAMMIT! I hate you, N__B

    So….you won’t be blowing warm air up my ass?

  172. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:06

    So….you won’t be blowing warm air up my ass?

    You promised we’d never speak of it again.

    In fairness, I was told it was a tuba.

  173. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:06

    The combination of plumbing, electricity, and the poor aim of bar patrons seems to me to be a disaster waiting to happen.

    Well, he’s a d00d, so he was doing a reenactment of Doolittle’s Raid.

  174. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:07

    It’s hard work trying to get into the mind of the terminally stupid.

    A rock hammer works pretty well.

    I’d listen to you, you would know.

  175. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:07

    Speaking of Pere Ubu, anyone heard from him lately?

  176. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:07

    I wonder if this fuckknuckle knows what Greek Orthodox actually looks like?

    The Greek Orthodox Church: Good Guys Wear Black™.

  177. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:08

    Say, where is Pere Ubu anyway?

  178. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:08

    Uh, can I call a Mulligan? In retrospect, I should have typed “Dirty Seconds Over Tokyo”.

  179. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:08

    DAMMIT! I HATE YOU, N__B!!!!!

  180. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:09

    Fuck, I really have to get that webcam in my head removed.

  181. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:09

    You do remind me of Sandra Bullock, in your extremities.

    Wha?

    Uh, can I call a Mulligan? In retrospect, I should have typed “Dirty Seconds Over Tokyo”.

    Dammit, I HATE it when that happens.

  182. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:10

    You do remind me of Sandra Bullock, in your extremities.

    Wha?

    There there, you’re confused. Just put your head in my lap and soon things will be looking up.

  183. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:11

    In retrospect, I should have typed “Dirty Seconds Over Tokyo”.

    Asia Carrera’s best gang bang scene ever.

  184. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:13

    Asia Carrera’s best gang bang scene ever.

    Did you know she lives in Utah now?

  185. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:14

    Did you know she lives in Utah now?

    Utah her, I assume?

  186. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:16

    Utah her, I assume?

    Huh?

  187. noen said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:17

    toilets and ideology

  188. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:18

    Bad joke. You need to enunciate it. “U taw her” as in “I tought I taw a puddy tat”

    No, I know she moved to a Mormon community, despite being a professed atheist and a former porn actress, and stayed there after he husband died, and after she went thru AA.

  189. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:18

    Not that I follow porn or Jessica Steinhauser’s career closely, mind you. How is her son, Devin?

  190. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:18

    The Nuge is racist. Who KNEW???

  191. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:19

    Speaking of Pere Ubu, anyone heard from him lately?

    Say, where is Pere Ubu anyway?

    I was thinking the same thing a couple of days ago. Last I heard, he’d downloaded an open source version of the classic FPS Marathon. I hope he’s just catassing for a while, and that he’ll be around sometime soon.

  192. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:19

    The Nuge is racist. Who KNEW???

    So when he says he’s hunting a black bear, it’s the “bear” part we should ignore?

  193. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:20

    Bad joke. You need to enunciate it. “U taw her” as in “I tought I taw a puddy tat”

    I know. I was doing a callback to my “Wha?” joke.

    Never mind.

  194. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:25

    Last I heard, he’d downloaded an open source version of the classic FPS Marathon.

    That’s longer ago than I thought. Uh oh.

  195. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:25

    Never mind.

    Like I said, just put your head…here…

  196. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:28

    Utah her, I assume?

    Yeah, you da ho.

  197. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:29

    Utah her, I assume?

    Yeah, you da ho.

    Not, but Alaska.

  198. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:31

    That’s longer ago than I thought. Uh oh.

    He has a blog post from a month ago, I put out the word that he’s missed.

    Now, how about MzNicky, Steerpike, and the Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge?

  199. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:32

    A friend of mine was so nonplussed by the heated toilet seat in a bar that he unplugged the thing.

    The combination of plumbing, electricity, and the poor aim of bar patrons seems to me to be a disaster waiting to happen.

    Disaster, or You Tube gold?!?!

  200. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:32

    Like I said, just put your head…here…

    Looks…pokey…

  201. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:32

    Steerpike, and the Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

    Both were recently on here, possibly within the last three threads.

  202. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:33

    Now, how about MzNicky, Steerpike, and the Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge?

    VRBK has been around lately. I think he posted on the last thread. Don’t remember seeing anybody else, though.

  203. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:33

    Looks…pokey…

    That’s just a lump, hon. You can beat it down.

  204. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:34

    Steerpike

  205. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:35

    VRBK

    How quickly we forget.

  206. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:37

    MzNicky shows in Google as February 9.

  207. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:52

    Here’s a dumb question – if you have a bidet, once you’ve cleansed with warm water, don’t you still need to dry off with something?

    I have only used them in tropical countries, where your ass crack is going to be full of sweat about 5 minutes after you go back outside anyway, so no. Great way to cool off.

  208. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 20:57

    Great way to cool off.

    So’s an icicle shoved up your pooper but you don’t see me rushing to do that either.

  209. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:00

    Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay….D/s Barbie is not for eating…not this way, at any rate.

  210. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:03

    Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay….D/s Barbie is not for eating…not this way, at any rate.

    I’m not sure I want to know how you came across this…

  211. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:08

    I’m not sure I want to know how you came across this…

    Um….oh, look! A chicken!

  212. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:16

    Conservative logic in a wingnutshell:
    Saying something disgusting is exercising my First Amendment right; you expressing disgust is censorship.

  213. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:16

    A Møøse once bit my sister …

    No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”.

  214. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:19

    So’s an icicle shoved up your pooper but you don’t see me rushing to do that either.

    How much did it cost to suppress the video?

  215. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:20

    Want a clue of what FOX News thinks of its audience?

    Here ya go!

    Winning quote:

    Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn’t mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production.

    I doubt the MSNBC website has ever had to tell its readers “Men, act like a man and not a teenager”.

  216. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:21

    How much did it cost to suppress the video?

    About as much as I lost in the housing bubble *shamefacedly*

  217. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:22

    Here ya go!

    There are two “2s” in that “article.” I think they’re trying to use subliminal means to convince people to get into scat.

  218. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:23

    Turning now to sports…

    Bears 1 PETA-haters 0

  219. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:24

    Also, it’s full of the most obnoxious, stereotypical bullshit.

    Although I have to admit that I do hate being groped when performing any kind of chore.

  220. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:25

    There are two “2s” in that “article.” I think they’re trying to use subliminal means to convince people to get into scat.

    I just think most Fox men can’t count past the number of boobs.

  221. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:26

    Also, it’s full of the most obnoxious, stereotypical bullshit.

    See, in my book I say it much better and much funnier.

  222. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:27

    Did you see the photographer’s credits for the photo of “Logan Lewkoff”?

    I’ll admit, I giggled.

  223. tigris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:29

    So’s an icicle shoved up your pooper but you don’t see me rushing to do that either.

    You like a snowman with a slow hand?

  224. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:31

    “actor212 said,
    August 20, 2010 at 21:25

    I just think most Fox men can’t count past the number of boobs.”

    3, right? Or am I weird?

  225. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:32

    Did you see the photographer’s credits for the photo of “Logan Lewkoff”?

    heh heh…it said “Wad, man”…heh heh

  226. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:32

    I just think most Fox men can’t count past the number of boobs.”

    3, right? Or am I weird?

    Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo…but can I have pictures?

  227. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:33

    You like a snowman with a slow hand?

    *sob*

    Asshole never bought me dinner or called…cold bastard.

  228. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:34

    “Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo…but can I have pictures?”

    Ok, but just of the third one.

  229. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:34

    LMAO

    On the Fox website, there are links to columns by the same author – one of them, “Is she faking it?” I wonder how many hits that one’s gotten…

  230. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:36

    The Frosty Trombone.

  231. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:37

    On the Fox website, there are links to columns by the same author – one of them, “Is she faking it?” I wonder how many hits that one’s gotten…

    Hee. Probably about as many as there are men who read the first article and decided to try oral sex on their wives for the first time…

  232. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:38

    …a snowman with a slow hand…

    …a man with a freezing touch…

  233. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:40

    Hee. Probably about as many as there are men who read the first article and decided to try oral sex on their wives for the first time…

    You have no idea how many half-formed jokes just blasted past my mind’s eye

  234. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:41

    Altho there is one joke about Saskatchewan that’s starting to form….

  235. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:42

    You have no idea how many half-formed jokes just blasted past my mind’s eye

    69?

  236. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:42

    Other news about bears.

  237. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:44

    DKW, I heard about that on the radio this morning. WTF?

  238. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:44

    Other news about bears.

    I heard there was a lot of giggling and grinning.

  239. tigris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:46

    Bears that get used to being fed by humans tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops and often have to be put down by conservation officers.

    Why can’t they place them in zoos?

  240. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:46

    “Saskatchewan”

    Not Nantucket?

  241. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:48

    “become aggressive once the feeding stops and often have to be put down by conservation officers.”

    I don’t see the need for that. Won’t putting them down give the bears low self esteem?

  242. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:50

    WTF?

    Your guess is as good as mine. Stoner west coast potheads and their hippie tree-hugging nature whatevers. House was probably made of granola, since all the hemp was being used for something else.

  243. 77south said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:50

    I don’t see the need for that. Won’t putting them down give the bears low self esteem?
    Once Ranger Don Rickles is done with them, they slink back into the deep woods and cry. They never bother humans again.

  244. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:50

    “Saskatchewan”

    Not Nantucket?

    That might fit into it, but this is about satisfying women orally. Chewin’ cats has a better ring to it.

  245. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:51

    Your guess is as good as mine. Stoner west coast potheads and their hippie tree-hugging nature whatevers. House was probably made of granola, since all the hemp was being used for something else.

    I’ll bet they use recycled toilet paper.

  246. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:52

    I don’t see the need for that. Won’t putting them down give the bears low self esteem?
    Once Ranger Don Rickles is done with them, they slink back into the deep woods and cry. They never bother humans again.

    I found both of these jokes to be quite funny.

  247. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:53

    I’ll bet they use recycled toilet paper.

    Makes decent rolling paper in a pinch, but you better make sure it was washed thoroughly for recycling.

  248. Willy said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:53

    69?

    Don’t mind if I do!

  249. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:57

    Bears Men that get used to being fed by humans women tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops

    Fiqqst for more marriageyness.

  250. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 21:59

    Men that get used to being fed by women tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops

    Sure, blame the women for the obesity crisis…

  251. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:00

    Conservative logic in a wingnutshell:
    Saying something disgusting is exercising my First Amendment right; you expressing disgust is censorship.

    So that’s how it works. The old double standard, eh?

  252. noen said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:02

    “unusual objects removed from a patient”

    I used to work in radiology a long time ago. The most unusual X-ray I’ve seen was of someone’s colon with a stemmed wine glass fully inserted, intact. I imagine the problem to be solved was how to remove it while keeping it intact.

    ER personnel just love a challenge like that.

  253. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:02

    We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production.

    Baby, Angry G. will make it whatever rate of porn production you want. If the third-rate is not to your satisfaction, I will make it second- or possibly even first-rate. Oh, yes. There will be gaffers. There will be craft services. There will even be OSHA-mandated bathroom breaks. Yeah baby, that’s just how Angry G. do.

    Altho there is one joke about Saskatchewan that’s starting to form….

    There once was a girl from Saskatchewan
    Who’s ass you could crush a cashew ‘pon?

  254. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:03

    Men that get used to being fed by women tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops

    I thought they easily reverted back to their natural ways of foraging for hot pockets and delivered pizza.

  255. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:04

    So’s an icicle shoved up your pooper but you don’t see me rushing to do that either.

    Visit Bangkok in summer and then get back to me on that one.

  256. 77south said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:04

    “I once met a girl from Canada”
    “Saskatchewan?”
    “and on and on and on!”

  257. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:05

    There once was a girl from Saskatchewan
    Who’s ass you could crush a cashew ‘pon?

    More like a naked man wakes up in Saskatchewan…and something to do with getting instructions from his wife on how to pleasure her…it’s needs the linkage¹

    ¹VPR

  258. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:05

    I thought they easily reverted back to their natural ways of foraging for hot pockets and delivered pizza.

    I resemble that remark.

  259. 77south said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:06

    Visit Bangkok in summer and then get back to me on that one.
    That didn’t ring any bells for me, and then I realized, I visited Bangkok in the winter.

  260. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:07

    I thought they easily reverted back to their natural ways of foraging for hot pockets and delivered pizza.

    As one who has…it’s not that easy. To be reintroduced to the wild took many six packs of beer tranquilizers, and purchased victuals seated across from comely facilitators who were only clinically interested in separating me from my money domesticity.

  261. Capt. Jack Sparrow said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:07

    That didn’t ring any bells for me, and then I realized, I visited Bangkok in the winter.

    Clearly you’ve never been to Singapore.

  262. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:09

    Shit, are you kidding me? I hardly ever cook.

    Not that I can’t…I just find it rather boring.

  263. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:10

    Shit, are you kidding me? I hardly ever cook.

    I bet you can make my banana cream pie

    HA! They never go out of style…

  264. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:13

    HA! They never go out of style…

    I hate to tell you this, but yeah, yeah they do.

  265. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:16

    Shit, are you kidding me? I hardly ever cook.

    Good, because that means you have time to go vote.

  266. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:16

    Men that get used to being fed by women tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops

    I thought they easily reverted back to their natural ways of foraging for hot pockets and delivered pizza.

    It’s a staged process. I’m between those two stages now.

  267. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:20

    I’m between those two stages now.

    DO NOT TAKE YOUR CREDIT CARD!

    Next thing you know, you’re in a hotel room with a bill from a hooker.

    Trust me on this one. Please.

  268. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:24

    It’s a staged process. I’m between those two stages now.

    Hey, if you’d delivered that couch for me, I would have made…….some sort of food for you.

  269. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:29

    “Conservative logic in a wingnutshell:
    Saying something disgusting is exercising my First Amendment right; you expressing disgust is censorship.

    So that’s how it works. The old double standard, eh?”

    I know, I know. Same shit, different day. It’s not like wingnuts are gonna surprise us with logic, lucidity and fairness.

  270. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:30

    I thought they easily reverted back to their natural ways of foraging for hot pockets and delivered pizza.

    It’s a staged process. I’m between those two stages now.

    This brings out the Jewish mother in me (that’s a thing, right?). I wanna hook you up.

  271. N__B said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:33

    This brings out the Jewish mother in me (that’s a thing, right?).

    If you’re a cannibal, yes.

  272. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:34

    If you’re a cannibal, yes.

    I didn’t know long pig was kosher.

  273. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:35

    I didn’t know long pig was kosher.

    Only if its circumcised.

  274. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:43

    If you’re a cannibal, yes.

    My brain is fried (or a zombie eated it). This joke sailed right over my head.

  275. Steve said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:43

    A poll has been taken and 70% of Americans oppose the construction of a mosque at ground zero. If Obama keeps pushing this, then we will soon have another campaign issue for Americans to side with the Republicans over. These barbaric savages from the dark ages ruthlessly murdered 3000 innocent Americans on 9/11. Their only reasoning being to wage a “holy war” against Christians and non-muslims.

    Face the facts libs, most Americans DO NOT like muslims. And if the leftwing treason column keeps pushing these unpopular issues than they will suffer for it at the ballot box.

  276. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:45

    Target’s in trouble! Target’s in trouble! Target’s in trouble!

  277. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:46

    Face the facts libs, most Americans DO NOT like muslims.

    Even if that were true, would that make it right? Should we constantly be aspiring to cater to those who are most stupid and most ignorant?

  278. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:46

    A poll has been taken and 70% of Americans oppose the construction of a mosque at ground zero.

    In the words of my fellow Noo Yawkahs.

    AY! WHO DA FUCK AXED YOU, YOU FUCKING BOHUNK CRACKER????

  279. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:47

    Even if that were true, would that make it right? Should we constantly be aspiring to cater to those who are most stupid and most ignorant?

    How about just abiding by the law of the land?

  280. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:47

    actor, I heard about the Target thing. Dumbfucks. See where greed gets ya, fucknuts?

  281. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:49

    How about just abiding by the law of the land?

    Well, yes, there’s that, but I really believe that some of our leaders are going to have to adopt the “for the people, in spite of the people” governing philosophy. I mean, the American people have–again and again–proven themselves to be not very bright.

  282. Steve said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:50

    Most people do not recognize that what happens in a mosque is sedition. Pure and simple. Islam is not just a “religion”, it is a cult. Larger than that though, it is a political system, it is it’s own government, its judicial…is in its sharia, and its military (jihadis) all rolled into one with one intent …and that is to rule wherever they take root. It is a invasive, systemic infection looking to take over the host once it has quantum.

    This is not just a “religion”, but something that cloaks itself in those terms so it should not be given the same treatment contemplated under the first amendment. The Korans Sharia rules are to consume whatever government there is wherever it goes.
    It is political, and it’s goal is to supplant and replace.

    The sooner America learns this , the better.

    Obama? Obama and Company? Should be tried for treason in this issue for promoting the establishment of a foreign government on our soils. He is doing nothing to protect America as per his oath. Also, as a Muslim, he knows this, he know far better, he knows sharia, but is looking to deceive America.

    For all interested…Wanna learn more?

    http://thehayride.com/2010/08/louisiana-at-leading-edge-in-fight-against-shariah/#more-5392

    and this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib9rofXQl6w&feature=player_embedded

    Lets keep America, America!

    Obama? Obama and Company? Should be tried for treason in this issue for promoting the establishment of a foreign government on our soils. As a Muslim, he knows this, he knows sharia, but is looking to deceive America

  283. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:51

    *sigh*

    I’m trying reeeeeeeeeeeeeeallyyyyyyyy hard not to feed the troll. REEEEALLYYYY REALLYYYYYYYY HARD.

  284. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:52

    This brings out the Jewish mother in me (that’s a thing, right?). I wanna hook you up.

    Awww you’re so nice!

  285. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:52

    Well, yes, there’s that, but I really believe that some of our leaders are going to have to adopt the “for the people, in spite of the people” governing philosophy. I mean, the American people have–again and again–proven themselves to be not very bright.

    Steve being Exhibit A of what happens when cousins breed.

  286. George Wallace, 1968 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:52

    Face the facts libs, most Americans DO NOT like niggers. And if the leftwing treason column keeps pushing these unpopular issues than they will suffer for it at the ballot box.

  287. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:53

    Lets keep America, America!

    LOLWUT?

  288. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:54

    A poll has been taken and 70% of Americans oppose the construction of a mosque at ground zero.

    Have you tried polls of Manhattan, or lower Manhattan? You know, the place where it actually matters? Most Americans don’t approve of celebrating slavery or treason over state houses, but they let the South get away with it. Because, you know, local government.

  289. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:54

    The Korans Sharia rules are to consume whatever government there is wherever it goes.
    It is political, and it’s goal is to supplant and replace.

    You might want to check your apostrophe placement there, Sparky.

  290. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:54

    “Lets keep America, America!” is code for Lily-white, patriarchal, wealthy-favoring.

    c’mon, Steve. Do you think you’re fooling anyone?

  291. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:54

    it is a political system, it is it’s own government, its judicial…is in its sharia, and its military (jihadis) all rolled into one with one intent …and that is to rule wherever they take root. It is a invasive, systemic infection looking to take over the host once it has quantum.

    Wow, that’s so different from what fundamentalist Christians are trying to do in this country.

    Please quit burying the Friday afternoon sex jokes unless you actually have a fucking point.

  292. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:55

    Lets keep America, America!

    LOLWUT?

    You know, where you work a job for forty years and get a five percent raise every year and your boss promises you your job until you retire and no one monekys around with your pension….

  293. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:55

    You know, where you work a job for forty years and get a five percent raise every year and your boss promises you your job until you retire and no one monekys around with your pension….

    Wait, where?

  294. Rusty Shackleford said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:56

    I’m trying reeeeeeeeeeeeeeallyyyyyyyy hard not to feed the troll. REEEEALLYYYY REALLYYYYYYYY HARD.

    You should take a few minutes away from the computer. Maybe engage in some sort of civic duty.

  295. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:56

    Do you guys think Steve has ever has sex?

    Do you think he even knows what it is?

    Does he understand where babies come from?

    Or why he has soft downy fur “down there” where he makes pee pee? And it tingles now?

  296. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:56

    Wait, where?

    My point.

  297. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:57

    Steve being Exhibit A of what happens when cousins breed.

    Cousins? I think you’re being kind.

  298. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:57

    A poll has been taken and 99% of Sadly, No!ers would like you to go eat shit and die. The other 1% don’t care about the specific cause; they’d be happy with really any type of horrible death on your part.

  299. Sirius Lunacy said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:57

    “Saskatchewan”

    Not Nantucket?

    I was working more towards how he was gladiator.

  300. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:59

    I was working more towards how he was gladiator.

    Gladiator? He hardly knew ‘er!

  301. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:59

    Cousins? I think you’re being kind.

    I didn’t say human cousins.

  302. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 22:59

    You know, where you work a job for forty years and get a five percent raise every year and your boss promises you your job until you retire and no one monekys around with your pension….

    Seems like folklore anymore…now it’s “you’re our best worker, so we’re laying off all of your coworkers and letting you handle everything. We’ve also started a retirement program which is invested almost entirely in the stock market so that you’ll cheer every time a company lays off a bunch of people and lets a few dedicated people handle the job in their absence…Wait, we just found out that at some time in the last 30 days, you probably smoked marijuana. Sorry, but we have a zero tolerance policy…”

  303. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:00

    A poll has been taken and 99% of Sadly, No!ers would like you to go eat shit and die. The other 1% don’t care about the specific cause; they’d be happy with really any type of horrible death on your part.

    This actually made me laugh out loud.

  304. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:00

    Gladiator? He hardly knew ‘er!

    Glad nonetheless.

  305. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:00

    I didn’t say human cousins.

    Touche!

  306. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:01

    Seems like folklore anymore…now it’s “you’re our best worker, so we’re laying off all of your coworkers and letting you handle everything…

    Shhhhhhhhhh, we don’t want to destroy Steve’s illusions…

  307. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:01

    Lets keep America, America!

    Or, as St Ronnie once said

    “Where would this great country be without this great land of ours?”

  308. Steve said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:01

    ‘I really believe that some of our leaders are going to have to adopt the “for the people, in spite of the people” governing philosophy. I mean, the American people have–again and again–proven themselves to be not very bright.’

    This is the exact elitist attitude of our current crop of politicians. Those treasonous rats! They care nothing about the will of the American people, and what’s worse, they sincerely believe that they know what is best for us. This is the very reasoning that causes our leftist politicians to promote illegal immigration, mulit-culturalism, free trade, globalisation, gun control, gay rights and a host of other morally corrupt, culturally and economically destructive and highly unpopular policies.

    These are the very attitudes that will cause the Democrats to lose control of Congress this November.

  309. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:02

    I agree with AG. Steve, kindly eat shit and bark at the moon you licker of chili rings.

  310. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:03

    Do you guys think Steve has ever has sex?

    Yer gonna have to be more specific? Are we counting hookers, animals, produce, DKW’s mom?

  311. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:04

    http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/08/continuing_pakistani_floods.html

    First picture is really amazing

  312. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:05

    Yer gonna have to be more specific? Are we counting hookers, animals, produce, DKW’s mom?

    Actually, no. Please don’t.

  313. Angry Geometer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:05

    Men that get used to being fed by women tend to become aggressive once the feeding stops

    Granted, I have really shitty taste in women, but I can say from experience it works the other way too. Being happy to do most of the cooking to begrudgingly doing all of the cooking can happen pretty fast, followed by the non-sexing, and the yelling, and the moving out.

  314. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:05

    Do you guys think Steve has ever has sex?

    I suspect his skin is orange from cheeto dust in certain sensitive locations

  315. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:05

    http://thehayride.com/2010/08/louisiana-at-leading-edge-in-fight-against-shariah/#more-5392

    LOO ZEE ANNA, bitches! Not New York or Washington DC or Chicago, or, you know, any place that actually has any Muslims, but Loozeeanna itself!

    I can only imagine what immense reserves of courage it takes down there to gather your buddies from the good old days and go burn a cross in the backyard of the only Muslim resident within a seven hundred mile radius the first relatively isolated black or Hispanic man you could find to substitute for the deficit of Muslims. Send him a messudje, it does.

    Oy, vey. And if you’re curious what it was like to be a Catholic or a Jew until about fifty or sixty years ago, do take a look. Protocols of the Elders of Mecca at its finest, that website.

  316. actor212 said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:06

    This is the exact elitist attitude of our current crop of politicians. Those treasonous rats!

    Yea! Who the hell wants to listen to a Constitution anyway? Bunch of old faggotty white men wearing “powdered wigs” with their stupid “all men are created equal” and “freedom of religion” laws and shit???

    The Nazis had it right: if there’s a dangerous religious minority threatening to take over your nation bit by bit KILL THE INIFDEL BASTARDS! BURN THEM IN OVENS! MAKE EM DIE IN FRONT OF THEIR CHILDREN!

  317. Chris said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:06

    Yer gonna have to be more specific? Are we counting hookers, animals, produce, DKW’s mom?

    I would argue that even most hookers have standards. Can’t speak for Dragon King’s mom.

  318. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:08

    Being happy to do most of the cooking to begrudgingly doing all of the cooking can happen pretty fast, followed by the non-sexing, and the yelling, and the moving out.

    I’m too good a person to make a mom joke here.

    But not so good not to point out that there is one begging to be made. Like your mom.

  319. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:08

    Steve;

    I’m not sure how this escapes you. (I’m thinking your head is solid bone, but I’m not able to make a sound diagnosis from across the internet).

    The FIRST AMENDMENT to the Constitution protects the free practice of religion. All of your hysterics about what you think Islam really is are just pure bullshit. You have no idea what you’re talking about. The fact that you care so much if a community center gets built in a place in which you most likely don’t live indicates a bit of mental illness that I would advise getting treated. You’re being a fucking tool. Take control of your mind and think about these things without your instinctive pants shitting hysteria. Stop being such a pussy and man up. This is the USA. You either obey the Constitution or GTFO, son. It’s that fucking simple. Some of the things that come with freedom are things you won’t like. But if you want to keep your freedom, you will defend it for others. Anything less makes you a fucking coward and a traitor.

  320. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:12

    Granted, I have really shitty taste in women, but I can say from experience it works the other way too. Being happy to do most of the cooking to begrudgingly doing all of the cooking can happen pretty fast, followed by the non-sexing, and the yelling, and the moving out.

    Maybe you should clean the toilet more often?

  321. Steve said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:15

    As I posted upthread, Islam is not merely a religion. It is an entire political system, complete with laws and customs completely alien to Western Civilization and our American way of life. It is an invasive parasite which seeks to subjagate whichever host nation it is living in.

    Islam is its own entity, complete with its own government, military, laws, customs ect… And therefore should not be protected under the First Amendment.

  322. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:16

    Chris said,
    August 20, 2010 at 23:05

    Um, wow. That shit’s kind of scary.

  323. tsam said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:22

    As I posted upthread, Islam is not merely a religion.

    Nor is any other religion. They are all wealth/power seeking institutions that use tools like you to do their dirty work. Christianity and Judaism have their share of reactionary dumbfucks just like Islam. So no.

    They do not have their own military. Every religion has a form of leadership (government). Every religion has doctrine and law and customs as well. So you’re advocating removing Christianity from Constitutional protection as well? Because if you’re getting rid of one, you’re taking all of them. Otherwise you’re singling out a particular religion. You know who else did that?

  324. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:26

    Kids dancing for deep-fried butter is scary.

  325. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:26

    As I posted upthread, Islam is not merely a religion. It is an entire political system, complete with laws and customs completely alien to Western Civilization and our American way of life. It is an invasive parasite which seeks to subjagate whichever host nation it is living in.

    You do know that Islam is practiced by 1.5 billion people, right? 1.5 BILLION people.

    Now, I’m sure any numbers you’re unable to count on your (webbed) fingers are difficult for you to understand, so let’s put it this way: THAT’S A LOT OF FUCKING PEOPLE. Do you really think they all believe the same thing, and that they’re all intent on the same goal, you racist twat?

  326. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:28

    Kids dancing for deep-fried butter is scary.

    At least he worked off a couple of those calories. Unfortunately, that does nothing for his cholesterol.

    Why the fuck would you feed that to your kid?

  327. Whale Chowder said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:45

    Are we counting hookers, animals, produce, DKW’s mom?

    DKW’s mom wouldn’t have him.

  328. Mysticdog said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:49

    Are we counting hookers, animals, produce, DKW’s mom?

    DKW’s mom wouldn’t have him.

    Ouch! That’s a sting that won’t go away for a while!

    Though probably still not as bad as the sting after DKW’s mom.

  329. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:52

    OK, you have to check this out. Hey, it’s Friday evening. Time for levity. And adorable cats. And I am NOT biased. Not at ALL.

  330. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:53

    Though probably still not as bad as the sting after DKW’s mom.

    There’s an app for that.

  331. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:53

    vacuumslayer said,
    August 20, 2010 at 21:31

    “actor212 said,
    August 20, 2010 at 21:25

    I just think most Fox men can’t count past the number of boobs.”

    3, right? Or am I weird?

    Well, to quote the guy who made the FOX network a success, Al Bundy: “The one on the back’s for dancing.”

  332. g said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:55

    A poll has been taken and 70% of Americans oppose the construction of a mosque at ground zero.

    Ah, we’re now using national polls for the granting of permits to religious institutions?

    It is an entire political system, complete with laws and customs completely alien to Western Civilization and our American way of life. It is an invasive parasite which seeks to subjagate whichever host nation it is living in.

    Well, that’s a bit over the top, but I do say I kind of agree with you about the Catholic Church here. That is what you mean, amirite?

  333. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:55

    P.S.:

    I’m really touched you guys are asking about me—I’ve just been having trouble lately getting online before most of you right-coasters are asleep. I’ll work on it more.

  334. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:56

    Well, to quote the guy who made the FOX network a success, Al Bundy: “The one on the back’s for dancing.”

    Well now I’m embarrassed. Mine’s on my forehead.

  335. Doctorb said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:56

    Islam is its own entity, complete with its own government, military, laws, customs ect… And therefore should not be protected under the First Amendment.

    Wait, what? I mean, religions have their own “laws” and customs, generally speaking, sure, but are you saying there’s like a President1 of Islam?

    The only religion I can think of that has its own government and military is, and this is a bit of a stretch, the Roman Catholic Church, because Vatican City is a sovereign city-state (an absolute monarchy, by the way).

    1. Or a Caliph, I guess.

  336. vacuumslayer said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:58

    I’m really touched you guys are asking about me

    VMR

  337. g said,

    August 20, 2010 at 23:59

    The only religion I can think of that has its own government and military is, and this is a bit of a stretch, the Roman Catholic Church, because Vatican City is a sovereign city-state (an absolute monarchy, by the way).

    Has it’s own army, the Swiss Guard. Has its own police force. Has its own bank and issues its own coins.

  338. MAJ0RITY R00LZ said,

    August 21, 2010 at 0:00

    I think it’s cool that national polls are maybe going to become how we do things, because I sure could get behind 99% of us confiscating the property of the top 1%. I’m sure that we could get at least a majority of people voting to essentially double their wealth while sticking it to the banksters, don’t you think?

  339. g said,

    August 21, 2010 at 0:08

    Oh, hilarious, BTW: World Trade Center was a work of islamic art:

    The World Trade Center’s architect, Minoru Yamasaki, was a favorite designer of the Binladin family’s patrons—the Saudi royal family—and a leading practitioner of an architectural style that merged modernism with Islamic influences.

    The story starts in the late 1950s, when Yamasaki, a second-generation Japanese-American, won the commission to design the King Fahd Dhahran Air Terminal in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. His design had a rectilinear, modular plan with pointed arches, interweaving tracery of prefabricated concrete, and even a minaret of a flight tower. In other words, it was an impressive melding of modern technology and traditional Islamic form. The Saudis admired it so much that they put a picture of it on one of their banknotes.

    For Yamasaki, an architect with a keen mathematical mind and a taste for ornamental pattern-work, this brush with the intricate geometries of Islamic architecture was inspiring, and he began to incorporate arabesques and arches into his work. For the next 12 to 15 years he played with Islamic forms in projects as diverse as the Federal Science Pavilion at the Seattle World’s Fair, the Eastern Airlines Terminal at Logan Airport, and even the North Shore Congregation Israel in Glencoe, Ill.

    Yamasaki received the World Trade Center commission the year after the Dhahran Airport was completed. Yamasaki described its plaza as “a mecca, a great relief from the narrow streets and sidewalks of the surrounding Wall Street area.” True to his word, Yamasaki replicated the plan of Mecca’s courtyard by creating a vast delineated square, isolated from the city’s bustle by low colonnaded structures and capped by two enormous, perfectly square towers—minarets, really. Yamasaki’s courtyard mimicked Mecca’s assemblage of holy sites—the Qa’ba (a cube) containing the sacred stone, what some believe is the burial site of Hagar and Ishmael, and the holy spring—by including several sculptural features, including a fountain, and he anchored the composition in a radial circular pattern, similar to Mecca’s.

    Time for heads to asplode!!!

  340. tsam said,

    August 21, 2010 at 0:08

    I think it’s cool that national polls are maybe going to become how we do things, because I sure could get behind 99% of us confiscating the property of the top 1%. I’m sure that we could get at least a majority of people voting to essentially double their wealth while sticking it to the banksters, don’t you think?

    Hmmmm…I like where you’re going with this. Fair’s fair, right?

  341. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    August 21, 2010 at 0:17

    @ g:

    The same guy who designed the Pacific Science Center designed the WTC? How did I not know that? But now I can see it. Of course those arches that were bowing outward and had to be cable-stayed (making it look like the cables were put there to hold up lamps in the middle) might have been a warning sign.

  342. Chris said,

    August 21, 2010 at 1:19

    Now that I’m home and have time to bloviate, the thread moves on. Typical… but this is probably longer than anyone cared to read in any case. Anyway, tis truly written, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” Three cases in point;

    Is it possible that these Jesuits can have a sincere attachment to the principles of free institutions? Do not these principles oppose a constant barrier to their exercise of that arbitrary power, which they claim as a divine right, and which they exercise too in all countries where they are dominant? Can it not be perceived, that although they may find it politic for the present to conceal their anti-republican tenets, yet this concealment will be merely temporary, and is only adopted now, the better to lull suspicion? Is it not in accordance with all experience of Popish policy, that Jesuits should encroach by little and little, and persevere till they have attained to plenitude of power. At present they have but one aim in this country, which absorbs all others, and that is to make themselves popular. If they succeed in this we shall then learn, when too late to remedy the evil, that Popery abandons none of its divine rights. The leaders of this sect are disciplined and organized, and have their adherents entirely subservient to their will. Here then is a regular party, a religious sect, ready to throw the weight of its power, as circumstances may require, ready to favor any man, or set of men, who will engage to favor it.
    - Samuel Morse, “Foreign conspiracies against the Liberties of the United States”

    In view of the Constitution, in the eye of the law, there is in this country no superior, dominant, ruling class of citizens. There is no caste here. Our Constitution is color-blind, and neither knows nor tolerates classes among citizens. In respect of civil rights, all citizens are equal before the law. (…) [But] there is a race so different from our own that we do not permit those belonging to it to become citizens of the United States. Persons belonging to it are, with few exceptions, absolutely excluded from our country. I allude to the Chinese race
    - Justice John Harlan, U.S. Supreme Court, in support of the Chinese Exclusion Act

    To approach the issue of communism as merely a constitutional matter, [Irving Kristol] said, was wrong. It was wrong because that response failed to take account of “the nature of the communist movement.” Communism, he urged, was not simply an opinion that one held regarding history or politics, such that that opinion contributed to meaningful intellectual discourse. “It is obvious to almost everyone by now,” Kristol wrote, “that Communism…is a fanatical conspiracy, whose basic ideas are a set of paranoid illusions, and whose ‘opinions’ are strategems.”
    - J. David Hoeveler, quoting Irving Kristol

    As long as there’s been a Constitution, there have been assholes who got up and said “Wait a minute! That person don’t have no rights! He’s diffrun, he is!” Why? Well, because he’s out to get us! The Real Amurikkkans say so, and you you going to believe, him or the Real Amurikkkans?

  343. Chris said,

    August 21, 2010 at 1:20

    Now, what do those three ideas up there have in common, Stevie?

    That’s right! They all fucking failed! The Communist Party remained and remains legal to this day, its followers allowed to believe, speak and assemble as they wished as long as they didn’t break the law, even as those commies that did break the law (like the Weathermen) were hunted down and brought to justice. The Chinese were banned from immigrating, had a hard time for a while, then the law was repealed and they’ve prospered here ever since.

    And the Catholics? Ah, the Catholics! The Catholics have thrived, so much so that today, even the most backwardsass fundie in the nation has to swallow his hate, shake our hands, smile and pretend to like us when the cameras are on. Either that or watch the religious right go up in flames and then down the tube, in ignominious irrelevance. Ahhh, and they said living well was the best revenge. Thanks to us they were right!

    Seeing a pattern yet? The “these people don’t deserve our protection because they’re conspiring against us because I say so!” trope loses every time it comes up. It can take a hell of a long time in some cases – just ask the Catholics – but it eventually does, and why? Because the Constitution still means something in this country, and it ain’t “Irish Need Not Apply.”

    Don’t believe me? Look at the numbers, even those of your own propaganda outlet (http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/081310_MosquePoll.pdf); 69% of independents, 63% of Democrats, and 57% of Republicans think Muslims have the right to build Park51 regardless of whether it’s a good idea or not. You want to try 69% of Americans and 57% of Republicans for treason, sonny Jim? You be my fucking guest. I’m going to sit back on this fine Friday evening and enjoy the universal freedom that is the United States of America.

    And if you don’t like it, shit-for-brains, Cuba’s ninety miles south and always hiring. Now STFU.

  344. g said,

    August 21, 2010 at 1:26

    The same guy who designed the Pacific Science Center designed the WTC? How did I not know that? But now I can see it.

    yep. I’ve never been to the WTC – funny, I lived in SoHo from 1975- 1979, and it was there kinda on the horizon, but I never went inside the building. But I remember reading somewhere that Yamasaki was afraid of heights, which was one reason he fashioned the windows the way he did, with really deep frames so that when you looked out the windows you could only really see straight ahead, not sideways or down.

  345. N__B said,

    August 21, 2010 at 1:54

    The WTC towers were, architecturally speaking, shit. Big, yes. Also featureless, windowless for most people who worked there, too flexible (had to be shut down in very high winds or the elevators would jam*), scaleless, standing next to a plaza that was always windy because of the towers’ microclimate, and a lousy observation platform.

    *mmmmm…elevator sex….

  346. Smut Clyde said,

    August 21, 2010 at 5:23

    OK, time to stay the Raven’ and sink into the velvet.

    After the earlier baboon discussion, I read that as ‘vervet’.
    Seeing my case officer now, BRB.

  347. Smut Clyde said,

    August 21, 2010 at 10:14

    Men that get used to being fed by women

    I am pleasantly surprised, and yet disappointed, that no-one has taken the opportunity to link to a feeder-fetish website.
    Also, and unrelated, men should check the going rate for veal and pork before they get used to women feeding them.

  348. thepoliticalcat said,

    August 24, 2010 at 3:08

    He has a brain? Not to judge by his hysterical shrieking, he doesn’t.

  349. thepoliticalcat said,

    August 24, 2010 at 3:11

    Original Kiwi: Was it the hay that got cut, or the stuff *about* the hay?

  350. thepoliticalcat said,

    August 24, 2010 at 5:26

    Actor! How exquisitely polite of you to refer to them as sand people. Goodness knows it’s fairly obvious by now that wingnuttia does not consider adherents of these hirsute and swarthy creeds “people,” except in the loosest sense of the term.

  351. Dr. Psycho said,

    August 27, 2010 at 18:15

    “Where would this great country be without this great land of ours?”

    Scattered across the globe, being 300 million of the most obnoxious, arrogant, entitled refugees the world has ever seen. We’ll be lucky to escape internment camps.

    And billions of people would be wearing T-shirts that say (in English), “We Don’t Care How They Did It In The U.S.”

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