Aug
16

And You Thought “Neocon” Was A Scary Word




Posted at 22:19 by Tintin
ABOVE: John Hawkins, sexy devil

There is more merriment in store today from Right Wing News. You remember, that’s the site that is run by the troglodytic John Hawkins and that surveyed other right-wing troglodytes asking them who was the worst person in American history. You’re probably not surprised that monsters like Jimmy Carter, FDR and the Kenyan-in-Chief were at the top of the list and thought by the surveyed bloggers to be way worse than, say, Timothy McVeigh, John Wilkes Boothe, Jeffrey Dahmer, Aldrich Ames, Rachael Ray and Richard Simmons, some of whom did not even make the list.

The new merriment is that John has reached deep into the loose change shoebox he keeps under his bed (a safe place because no one has ever gone looking for anything near Hawkins’s bed) and announced that Right Wing News is going to sponsor . . .

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

. . . Homocon! Better yet, RWN is the very first sponsor of Homocon given that, understandably, Frito-Lay, and Mountain Dew have cut back on their sponsorship budgets.

“Homocon?” you ask. “Que est-ce que c’est, ce Homocon?” Well think Comic-Con and replace the socially-inept, lonely, dweebish middle-aged men who love comics with socially-inept, lonely, dweebish, middle-aged Republican men who love other men. The main difference between Comic-Con and Homocon is that there won’t be anybody running around in Star Wars costumes at Homocon but instead there may be awkward gay men running around in Ann Coulter costumes, since Coulter — an internationally recognized gay rights icon — will be the keynote speaker at this upcoming Shame-boree.

The reaction by Hawkins’s faithful commenters have been mixed. One commenter promptly and predictably showed up with this:

Hmmm.. Must be that you’re actually a Homo yourself.

Gross, Disgusting, The Conservative has gone to hell.

Read the Bible people!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, I always do everything that people tell me in sentences with twelve million exclamation points. I’lll be back after I’ve finished reading the Bible, including the bit about smashing babies against rocks, presumably for having eaten scallops or something.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I’m back. I couldn’t make it past Genesis 3:16.

Another commenter was flirting with possible attendance but couldn’t help admitting to a concern or two:

Seems like a good project. As an aside, it might be helpful for marketing if GOProud made the itinerary a little more clear.

Apparently he’s concerned that one of the break-out panels will be a trip to an S&M leather fisting bar in Chelsea.

However, if the commenter was concerned about the meeting’s agenda, rather than its itinerary, he has a good point. And this is where I can help. I thought it might be helpful to the homos of Homocon if I proposed an agenda. So here it is:

9:30 Registration Only social parasites expect free Danish pastries, so bring your own food.
10:15 First Panel “How Gay Conservatives Are The Real Victims.”
10:45 Second Panel “Why Are Gay Liberals So Obsessed with the Victimization of Gays?”
11:00 Coffee Break Only social parasites expect free coffee. Find a Starbucks.
11:15 Third Panel “Why It’s Okay To Bargain Away The Rights of Other Gays for Your Own Tax Cut.”
11:45 Fourth Panel Dating Tips for GOP Homos — Wear Antiperspirant, Brush Your Teeth, Change Your Underwear and Don’t Shout ‘Trust, But Verify’ When Coming.”
12:00 noon Lunch Find an Olive Garden
2:00 Fifth Panel “If You Were In Favor of Gay Marriage, Which Gay Blogger Would You Gay Marry?”
3:00 Sixth Panel “Who Is The Hottest: Lindsey Graham, Our Sole Sponsor John Hawkins, or Mitch McConnell?”
6:00 Brown Bag Dinner and Keynote Address Ann Coulter: “Why Can’t Homos Throw a Baseball without Looking Like a Girl?”

For a mere $250, you too could be among the lucky attendees.

513 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:25

    The main difference between Comic-Con and Homocon is that there won’t be anybody running around in Star Wars costumes at Homocon but instead there may be awkward gay men running around in Ann Coulter costumes, since Coulter — an internationally recognized gay rights icon — will be the keynote speaker at this upcoming Shame-boree.

    Homocon sounds more like something you’d find in fortified milk.

    By the way, does Hawkins understand the implications of his sponsorship?

    Let’s just say that Jonah won’t be shaking hands with him in the Turkish steam bath on a job well done…

  2. tigris said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:27

    No hook-up potluck? Sheesh, conference goers these days. My lawn, let me get you offen it.

  3. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:28

    OMFG, the agenda made me snarfle.

    As did this: “Rachael Ray.”

    I was going to say that Teh Gays have better taste than to eat at the Olive Garden, but then I realized that they were conservatives, so that cancels pretty much any claims of good taste out.

  4. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:29

    No hook-up potluck?

    It’s a little hard exchanging recipes for Cheetos.

  5. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:30

    It’s a little hard exchanging recipes for Cheetos.

    Haven’t you ever had Cheeto salad?

    Funyun Surprise is pretty tasty, too.

  6. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:32

    Haven’t you ever had Cheeto salad?

    And then you wonder why you can’t eat gluten, and have allergies to mold…

  7. Whale Chowder said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:32

    You missed some session candidates, like:

    Stay in the Closet! Why Being Openly Homosexual is a Bad Idea
    Things to See and Do in the Minneapolis Airport

    (do lists work? We’ll see!)

  8. Whale Chowder said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:33

    (do lists work?)

    Sadly, No!

  9. Collaboratrice Chauve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:33

    What, no scheduled time for cruising at the Applebee’s salad bar?

  10. Disgruntled Lurker said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:35

    Is there a joke somewhere about Homocon and low hanging fruit?

  11. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:36

    What, no scheduled time for cruising at the Applebee’s salad bar?

    They’re multitasking at lunch. The Olive Garden is just a stone’s throw from the Appleby’s in Times Square.

  12. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:36

    Is there a joke somewhere about Homocon and low hanging fruit?

    I’m sure we could slip a Teabagging in, as well.

  13. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:37

    The Tea Party rally on the Arizona border with Mexico drew over 500 supporters of Arizona’s immigration policy.

    WOW! 500 people?

    How many of those were homeless people sent as proxies, Stever?

  14. Looch said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:37

    I’ll give the guy some credit for getting, er, out, er, front on this but “Homocon?”

    Homocon?

    “Gaycon” has a better tone, IMO. Or “RightGays.”

    Homocon?

  15. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:38

    The Tea Party rally on the Arizona border with Mexico drew over 500 supporters of Arizona’s immigration policy.

    How many is that in human, Steve?

  16. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:38

    And then you wonder why you can’t eat gluten, and have allergies to mold…

    Cheetos don’t have any gluten. Or mold.

    They *are* so salty that they abrade your tongue, though.

  17. Crissa said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:39

    Hey, tintin, you messed up the link to the survey and linked to homocon instead.

  18. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:41

    Cheetos don’t have any gluten. Or mold.

    That’s not the point. That you even KNOW about Cheetos salad should make any right-thinking stomach revolt.

  19. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:41

    That you even KNOW about Cheetos salad should make any right-thinking stomach revolt.

    (Psst…I made it up. I hope such a thing does NOT exist, although I’m sure it probably does).

  20. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:42

    A bunch of sister-fucking white supremacists stood in one place for a while!
    Face the facts libs, you’re toast!

  21. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:43

    Face the facts libs, there is gonna be a Conservative Republican landslide this November!

    Nothing would give me greater pleasure than a Republican Congress overidding every single one of Odumbo’s vetos for the remainder of his hopefully two very short years as President.

  22. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:43

    What, no scheduled time for cruising at the Applebee’s salad bar

    The Chelsea Applebee’s has a S&M leather fisting salad bar.

  23. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:44

    Apparently he’s concerned that one of the break-out panels will be a trip to an S&M leather fisting bar in Chelsea.

    Fisting for Christ is in the Tiki Room at the Hilton on 54th Street, TinTin…

  24. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:44

    The Chelsea Applebee’s has a S&M leather fisting salad bar.

    Oh, they have one of those in Akron! The lube-based salad dressing is delicious!

  25. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:44

    “Homocon”
    What is the average Republican Congressman’s marriage, Alex?

  26. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:45

    A bunch of sister-fucking white supremacists stood in one place for a while!

    Gee, I hope their white hoods were at least SPF 30. Hate to see them turn brown and be deported get skin cancer.

  27. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:45

    Face the facts libs, there is gonna be a Conservative Republican landslide this November!

    I’m running out of bookmarks, Steve.

    Can I just fold the corner down on this page?

  28. Mark Foley said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:46

    “Can I just fold the corner down on this page?”
    I’m actually not running this year.

  29. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:46

    Can I just fold the corner down on this page?

    Is it a library book?

  30. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:47

    “Can I just fold the corner down on this page?”
    I’m actually not running this year.

    Oh NICELY played! *polite golf clap*

    Martini?

  31. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:47

    Is it a library book?

    It’s Republican, so no. It’s a liberry book

  32. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:48

    “Homocon”

    The Log Cabin Marble Mausoleum Republicans are hosting Necrohomocon for gay conservatives who prefer to go out for a cold one.

  33. Chris said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:50

    Nothing would give me greater pleasure than a Republican Congress overidding every single one of Odumbo’s vetos for the remainder of his hopefully two very short years as President.

    As opposed to what? The present arrangement?

  34. Tom M said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:50

    Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you.”

    I love that part. That and the one about how god created man in his image.
    Robert Crumb’s Genesis made that story readable. It still sucks, but he’s good.

  35. Stag Party Palin said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:51

    That photo reminds me of Pledge Week at Delta House. Awwwkkk!!!

    Flounder!

  36. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:51

    I personally hate gay people. Besides homosexuality being morally repugnant, the other reason being that I cant ever get any girls to notice me, but I’ve noticed fags checking me out before.

    It really pisses me off, I dont understand why girls dont ever check me out but homos do. I recently threatened one homo in the gym who was checking me out. I told him he better look away or I was gonna knock his teeth out.

    Its mostly frustration that girls to seem to like me I guess.

  37. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:54

    I personally hate gay people.

    Steve? Can I ask a favor of you?

    You might not know, but Sadly, No! has been experiencing problems all day with a hiccup at the server level. Right now, we’re sort of catching up with each other and the news. Could you hold off on trolling us for a day or two? These jokes don’t just write themselves, you know! It takes thousands of people hundreds of man-hours every day to bring you the freshest, tastiest humour on the web.

    OK?

    Thanks, we’d be awfully grateful!

  38. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:55

    I recently threatened one homo in the gym who was checking me out. I told him he better look away or I was gonna knock his teeth out.

    Yeah, I was gonna knock his teeth out with my cock, and then I was gonna grab his nuts. FUCK YEAH!

  39. vacuumslayer said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:55

    7:00 Why We Suck

    7:30 Why We Should Take Better Care Naming Our
    Bullet Point Agenda

    8:00. Seriously. People Might Make Jokes

  40. Major Kong said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:55

    Gay Republicans – also known as Chickens for Colonel Sanders.

  41. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:55

    I personally hate gay people. Besides homosexuality being morally repugnant, the other reason being that I cant ever get any girls to notice me, but I’ve noticed fags checking me out before.

    It really pisses me off, I dont understand why girls dont ever check me out but homos do. I recently threatened one homo in the gym who was checking me out. I told him he better look away or I was gonna knock his teeth out.

    Its mostly frustration that girls dont seem to like me I guess.

  42. Chris said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:57

    Could you hold off on trolling us for a day or two?

    I don’t wish to criticize, but I think you’re encouraging him.

  43. Chris said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:57

    Gay Republicans – also known as Chickens for Colonel Sanders.

    LMAO, thank you.

  44. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:59

    I don’t wish to criticize, but I think you’re encouraging him.

    I’m trying to balance his First Amendment rights with our Quality Control standards. Right now, the JCOCB (Joint Commission on Comedy Blogging) is making the rounds, and you know, not everything is properly labelled and we haven’t come close to finishing the task force flowchartting.

  45. Mark D said,

    August 16, 2010 at 22:59

    Nothing would give me greater pleasure than a Republican Congress overidding {sic} every single one of Odumbo’s {sic} vetos {sic}

    You are apparently one of those children who were left behind.

    I’m guessing in a crack den, with “Greyhound bus station” and “That town from Deliverance” as other options.

    Now do the gene pool a favor and go play “How’s it taste?” with a 220v outlet.

  46. Tom Allen said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:00

    Oh yeah, the Neocon. I wanted to attend that, but then I took the blue pill and they wouldn’t let me.

    If you want to attend Homocon, take it from me, swallow the pink pill.

  47. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:01

    If you want to attend Homocon, take it from me, swallow the pink pill.

    Why is it shaped like a penis?

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:03

    I personally hate gay people.

    Steve, let it be known that, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.

    The only reason I’m feeding the troll is because George Takei’s cock is the entree. I shall now desist.

  49. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:04

    George Takei will have sex with you.

    Oh myyyyyy…

  50. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:06

    Who wants to pay for me to liveblog this thing? It would be fucking awesome.

  51. actor212 said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:07

    Who wants to pay for me to liveblog this thing? It would be fucking awesome.

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to, um, send someone who’s breasts aren’t quite as big and are not necessarily natural?

    You know, to get the in depth information, and stuff.

  52. Steve said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:09

    It really pisses me off that girls dont find me attractive. They dont even look at me. And yet homos do. This makes me hate gays even more than I would have otherwise.

  53. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:09

    I dasnt look at tee site lest I become outraged by what I see or die laughing so I have to ask, will teh GayPutzRiot be attending?

  54. Esteev said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:10

    “How’s it taste?” with a 220v outlet. “How’s it taste?” with a 220v outlet.

    That may not work…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om7mcIYONkI#t=4m13s

  55. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:10

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to, um, send someone who’s breasts aren’t quite as big and are not necessarily natural?

    You know, to get the in depth information, and stuff.

    Why, do you want to go?

    Look, The Gays and I get along well, and no self-respecting homo would go to this thing. And straight dudes are all weird about male interest in their wangs.

  56. vacuumslayer said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:11

    “It really pisses me off that girls dont find me attractive. They dont even look at me. And yet homos do. This makes me hate gays even more than I would have otherwise.”

    Just be flattered and move on.

  57. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:14

    Who wants to pay for me to liveblog this thing? It would be fucking awesome.

    I think you need to broadcast live from the event with George Takei.

  58. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:14

    I think you need to broadcast live from the event with George Takei.

    Fuck yeah!

  59. Gay Guys said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:16

    We’re not “attracted to you”, sweetie; we just can’t help but stare in revulsion at the Cheetos fingerprints all over your cargo shorts.

  60. Esteev said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:24

    “It really pisses me off that girls dont find me attractive. They dont even look at me. And yet homos do. This makes me hate gays even more than I would have otherwise.”

    Just be flattered wink and move on.

  61. Esteev said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:25

    Fuck? Yeah!

    I think we have a slogan

  62. Angry Geometer said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:30

    Besides homosexuality being morally repugnant, the other reason being that I cant ever get any girls to notice me, but I’ve noticed fags checking me out before.

    FAKE. And more importantly, not fake enough.

    “I can’t think of any conservative more fun to headline our inaugural party then the self-professed ‘right-wing Judy Garland’ – Ann Coulter.”

    Self-professed? Is that a thing you can just up and profess? What a weird thing to say about her anyway. What Ann Coulter does is not camp. She doesn’t sing and dance in elaborate productions. Her life has not been some dramatic struggle. Is swearing like a sailor and looking like you do a lot of blow all it takes to be a gay icon these days?

    I searched on teh google but I couldn’t find any mention of Ann Coulter and Judy Garland in the same page before this event. Were they ready to go with ‘the self-professed ‘right-wing Liza Minnelli’ — Laura Ingraham” if Coulter backed out?

  63. Smut Clyde said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:31

    You’re probably not surprised that monsters like Jimmy Carter, FDR and the Kenyan-in-Chief were at the top of the list

    It’s almost as if the respondents saw it as an opportunity (or a demand) to show off their ideological staunchness by reciting the catechism of tribal enemies as loudly as everyone else; rather than as a question requiring serious thought about several centuries of history.
    OK, the George Orwell comparisons are facile, but how does Hawkins’ exercise differ from a Two-Minute Hate? And how could his respondents be so oblivious to the way that reeling off a string of shibboleths made them look like Soviet commissars responding to a purity test?

  64. Smut Clyde said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:35

    Ann Coulter, of “Democrat candidates are faggots” fame?
    This will not end well.

  65. pablo said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:37

    Well like all good gay venues, they are ending it with a drag show.

  66. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:38

    A couple of commenters on that “worst” list wanted to replace Jefferson Davis with Abraham Lincoln. Pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

  67. The Rainbow Batman Wonders How Many Of The Attendees At This Thing Will Be Liberal Bloggers Reporting Behind The Lines, As It Were* said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:39

    Late addition to the schedule courtesy of Steve: The True Nature Of The Homosexual Menace, Revealed.

    *H/T Joe.My.God, which you should all be reading, regardless of your orientation. srsly.

  68. pablo said,

    August 16, 2010 at 23:41

    George Takei’s cock is the entree

    But he’s only going to be hungry again an hour later.

  69. Angry Geometer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:03

    “This issue of homosexuality affects you because gays are demanding to give blood. The hemophiliacs are outraged by the homosexual lobby saying they have a right to give blood. They want to force themselves into the blood supply in a callous and arrogant manner. Mothers need to speak up. Mothers, your children are at risk!”

    Are they worried about pedophiles donating blood, too? What about Communists? Or people who like Nickelback?

    If homosexuality is a choice, not a biological thing, why would blood from a homosexual be some special taboo?

  70. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:04

    From the Rainbow Batman’s link:

    Greg Quinlan: If you Bible-thump or talk about sex, it turns pro-gays off. If you give them the science, you sound like somebody in authority and they don’t know how to respond to that.

    Uh, Monsieur Quinlan, WTF is the science? Hell, Nature is full of hermaphrodites, animals which change sex over the course of a lifetime, others which reproduce through parthenogenesis, and the like. The only way to respond to the “scientific” approach is a whack to the melon with a 2X4.

  71. Mysticdog said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:04

    Maybe its a trap. Either the gays are going to leap from their seats and tear Ann Coulter apart, OR Ann Coulter is going to morph into the Old One she surely is a host to and devour the the gay republicans. Either way is cool with me.

  72. Mysticdog said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:05

    Or people who like Nickelback?

    To be fair, I’m a little worried about this one.

    But not as much as the risk that Creed fans pose to our blood supply.

  73. Galactic Dustbin said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:07

    My guess is that there are going to be 3 actual attendees and 47 liberal bloggers and daily show reporters undercover to document the whole train wreck

  74. St. Eh! Steve! said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:17

    Eh! Steve!

  75. Smut Clyde said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:18

    They want to force themselves into the blood supply in a callous and arrogant manner.

    Thrusting themselves down the throats of the blood supply, even.
    Purity of bodily essences, too.

  76. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:20

    You know, as flinch-inducing as that picture of Mr. Hawkins is – and it did make me flinch for reals – it’s nowhere near as bad as that one of him and Michael Steele you all usually use.

    Going ghey has done him some good, I guess.

  77. noen said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:23

    “And You Thought “Neocon” Was A Scary Word”

    No, actually I thought SadlyNo was dead and I’d have to remove it from my bookmarks. I may yet.

  78. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:27

    “Gaycon” has a better tone, IMO. Or “RightGays.”

    Indeed, “Homocon” doesn’t sound right – I think because “homo” is an insult from these guys. It’d be like if I got together with a bunch of my Irish relatives and called it “MickCon.”

  79. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:29

    Typo of the year

    http://theflintskinny.blogspot.com/2010/08/cnn-says-fight-over-mosque-shits-to-dc.html

  80. Anonymous said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:31

    The only reason I’m feeding the troll is because George Takei’s cock is the entree.

    Why are you so cruel to George Takei? Did he phaser your dog or something?

  81. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:39

    Indeed, “Homocon” doesn’t sound right – I think because “homo” is an insult from these guys.

    Which came right up in comments, if you have fully-charged goggles and care to look.

  82. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:44

    Which came right up in comments, if you have fully-charged goggles and care to look.

    Oops – I didn’t get off the boat. Can you blame me?

    Or if you meant comments here I deserve the AHEM I will soon no doubt receive.

  83. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:49

    No, no.

    Not ahemable as the comments were over there.

  84. islmfaoscist said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:50

    From The Batman’s link:

    Laurie Higgins: Parents need to remove their children from public schools. Even after doing that, they need to make law changes because our taxes go to the public schools. When we are silent on this issue, we teach our children through role-modeling to be cowardly conformists.

    …and then once everyone starts removing their children from public schools, we’ll need to put ours back. So we don’t look like cowardly conformists in front of the kids, ya know.

  85. Beulah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:52

    Brilliant proposed agenda! It’s probably very close to the one that will actually be followed at “HomoCon.”

    Can you believe how they’re billing Ann Coulter? — as “the Judy Garland of the Right”?? Jesus. Their self-hate is so pitiful it makes me queasy. Why don’t they just go full-tilt with the self loathing and make Anita Bryant their diva herione?

  86. Ricardo Montalbán ™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:53

    What happened to all the strikey through and bold italixAmurkans?
    ~

  87. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 0:58

    What happened to all the strikey through and bold italixAmurkans?

    Like everything else around here, we broke it.

    See: Nice things, having them, why we can’t.

  88. M. Bouffant said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:00

    Nice things are for BREAKING!

  89. KWillow said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:12

    QueerCon? FabulousCon? CockCon?

  90. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:16

    Why are you so cruel to George Takei? Did he phaser your dog or something?

    It’s because he keeps making comments about my smooth, vanilla-y head, glazed with man sweat, but he’s never even offered to buy me dinner.

  91. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:29

    PENIS.

  92. Joe Max said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:45

    “If homosexuality is a choice, not a biological thing, why would blood from a homosexual be some special taboo?”

    Because all those damn fags have AIDS! Every single one of them. Everybody knows that! Sheeesh.

  93. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:51

    “If homosexuality is a choice, not a biological thing, why would blood from a homosexual be some special taboo?”

    What I’ve never understood is who would “choose” homosexuality when it comes with such a huge degree of ostracism, if they could simply “choose” not to be gay anymore? I mean, Christ, the deep conservative parts of the country forgive child molesting more readily than they forgive being gay, and even in the blue states it makes a ton of people uncomfortable. If it were as simple as flipping a switch, don’t you think most people would opt for being “normal”?

  94. Whale Chowder said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:52

    From PoopMax’s link:

    Canada has had a long, hard fixation…

    One might begin to suspect that the article’s author doesn’t believe these machines actually work; that she may have her tongue (for example) planted firmly in her cheek.

  95. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:54

    re: Poor John Wilkes Booth, in the words of Smart Went Crazy, “All those years of Shakespeare/And what’s all anybody wants to talk about?”

  96. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:56

    Because all those damn fags have AIDS! Every single one of them.

    But no one at HomoCon. They’re not fags, they’re homos.

    Big difference.

  97. Joe Max said,

    August 17, 2010 at 1:57

    “…who would “choose” homosexuality when it comes with such a huge degree of ostracism…”

    No no, you don’t understand… Homos are mentally ill, it’s a sickness, you see… oh wait… that means it’s not a choice again… umm.. ok, the homos choose to be gay because they have this compulsion (wow, that’s a really gay word!) to have hot sweaty butt-sex with girly men… hmmm, but if it’s a compulsion it’s not a choice again… ok, how about.. oh fuck it, BEACAUSE SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!

  98. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:07

    we teach our children through role-modeling to be cowardly conformists.

    So, wait, now, non-conformism isn’t a bunch dirty long-haired hippies? Now it’s a good thing?

  99. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:17

    So, wait, now, non-conformism isn’t a bunch dirty long-haired hippies? Now it’s a good thing?

    Dude.

    Consistency?

    You expect consistency?

  100. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:19

    And now I’m reading all those quotes in the voice of the goth kids from “South Park”. It kind of improves them.

  101. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:22

    Nice things are for BREAKING!

    Especially if they aren’t ours.

  102. steve said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:25

    Face the facts, libbies! Your boy Obsamas buddies all the DemonCrap liars GOING down this fall as we take are country back!!!

  103. Steve said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:27

    Face the facts! That was an imposter name stealer at 2:25, and you liberals suck, you support a MOSQUE at 9-11 site, loosers! We support freedom well you support hitler!

  104. Steve said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:28

    You’d better face the facts, and use some logic instead of bias and hate… were gonna win it all in November and Obamaq will be impeached, yeah! No more socialist muslim sharai law and attacks on God! Bookmark it!

  105. St. Looch said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:29

    Steve:

    It is nice to see you participate within the spirit of Sadly, No!

    English is clearly not your language, yet in your hands it’s most certainly broken.

    Well done, laddybuck!

  106. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:36

    I think I speak for all of U.S. when I say that former Burlington Coat Factories are Hallowed Ground.
    ~

  107. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:46

    Can I just fold the corner down on this page?

    Is it a library book?

    It refrains from dog-earring the books or it gets the hose again.

  108. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:47

    You’d better face the facts,

    Or else what, bitch?

  109. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 2:52

    Murderer! This asshole suffocated his neck!

  110. noen said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:05

    I’ll bet you a million bucks that you can’t watch this video until the end.

  111. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:09

    I made it as far as “Miss me much?”

    I missed her so much I clicked the red X. I hope youtube keeps stats on people who click the “Holy shit I’m outa this bitch” button.

  112. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:33

    I watched the whole thing. It’s the kind of effect you can normally only get by doing a few lines of heavily cut, ridiculously stepped-on Bolivian Marching Powder and really cranking up an old Billy Joel album (Glass Houses or earlier). Tres kitschy.

  113. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:40

    he keeps making comments about my smooth, vanilla-y head, glazed with man sweat

    This sweaty man…anyone we know?

  114. lobbey said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:40

    I’ll bet you a million bucks that you can’t watch this video until the end.

    fuck you neon, if I can watch it for 1 min, do I get 100 grand

  115. noen said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:49

    Unfortunately I don’t have a snappy come-back… ’cause I’m tired… Strike-out thread took a lot out of me.

  116. lobbey said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:51

    I’ll bet you a million bucks that you can’t watch this video until the end.

    well, I did it…. you owe me $1 million

    her language is terrible; ‘….dickless…’, ‘… full of shit….’…….libtard limousine…’, what a potty mouth

    but other than that, her use of the English language is…. odd….. was she drinking…?

    According to Pam, Sarah scares the shit out of us…..

    but is it just me, but she not remind you of an extra from Jersey Shore

  117. noen said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:53

    Oh, and Fuck Harry Reid.

  118. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 17, 2010 at 3:57

    Oh, Harry’s just trying to keep his job by tossing innocent people to bigots. What’s not to like?

  119. Whale Chowder said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:06

    noen, you win. Didn’t get past a minute.

    Now I gotta go find out what Harry’s done this time. Might need more scotch.

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Jesus, Harry, can you just once try to not look like a fucking appeaser? You fucking jerk.

  120. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:08

    Now I gotta go find out what Harry’s done this time.

    Spouted a bigoted and unconstitutional opinion about NYC land use.

  121. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:09

    First they came for the Burlington Coat Factories, but I was not a Burlington Coat Factory so I said nothing.

  122. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:16

    you support a MOSQUE at 9-11 site, loosers!

    Annieangel? Is that you?

  123. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:16

    Hey, retardo-trons. Reid is my man, you bunch of ungrateful fucking cunts and don’t ever forget I’ve got all your peckers in my pocket so just shut the fuck up and cheer our side on. Or do you fuckers WANT President Palin? Because you’ll get President Palin, I fucking swear to God, if you can’t shut up and be good Democrats.

  124. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:22

    Or do you fuckers WANT President Palin? Because you’ll get President Palin, I fucking swear to God, if you can’t shut up and be good Democrats.

    Oh, and that will be six months we’ll really regret. Who’ll take over after she quits?

  125. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:27

    Oh you’d rather have Mittens? McCain? You stupid faggots had better suck it up and let us do every-fucking-thing Lindsay Graham and the GOP wants us to do or you’ll fucking have a Republican President I swear to God.

  126. Whale Chowder said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:36

    Hey Rahm, is that your hand up Gibbs’ ass?

  127. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:43

    Hey Rahm, is that your hand up Gibbs’ ass?

    My hand is up ever motherfucker’s ass. And motherfuckers had better say “Thank you for putting your hand up my ass, Rahm” coz if the hand comes out, something else even bigger goes up there.

  128. Late, but appreciative of B^4's "Necrohomocon" said,

    August 17, 2010 at 4:55

    Grab two, love Prada, lick toe?

  129. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 5:34

    I understand Rahm is barely removed from the real thing, but he’s making me giggle uncontrollably. You are a DELIGHT, Rahmbo.

  130. steve said,

    August 17, 2010 at 5:50

    Face the facts! I ‘m Pitsburg stealer, and I wish you liberals would suck me off, you support a 9-11 site at the holocast looser useum! We support the loss of freedom to all that support hitler! Statists…

  131. robert green said,

    August 17, 2010 at 5:57

    i don’t believe any of this. i refudiate the very idea of a homocon, ann coulter’s speaking thereat, right wing news’s involvement…i’m just…i can’t…quantum superposition…blbhaoaifeoafneaifn

  132. robert green said,

    August 17, 2010 at 5:59

    sorry, what i meant to say was this:

    last week started with robert gibbs telling me as a professional lefty to go fuck myself, but quietly please so as not to upset the applecart. this week starts with obama literally destroying LA traffic so that he can raise money from “the professional left” thereby pissing off all of LA, which is to say progressives in the main. is there something i should be reading into this? i’m so confused and i’m having a sad.

  133. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:00

    Personally, I find him just as tedious as whoever imitates Ezra Klein, and they’re both about the level of the parody-trolls.

  134. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:00

    understand Rahm is barely removed from the real thing, but he’s making me giggle uncontrollably. You are a DELIGHT, Rahmbo.

    Oh yeah you think this shit is funny? This bullshit fuckin’ delights you? Let’s see how delighted you are when the fuckin’ dizzy broad with the retardo kid and the slutty daughter moves into the White House. Let’s see how hard you’re laughing then, schmucky. We’re running a little low on cash so what I need all you fucking retarded Liberals to do is quit running your fucking yappers, reach deep down into your pockets, and pony up a few more shekels because fuck me gently with a chainsaw the elections are going to be a bloodbath.

  135. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:02

    Personally, I find him just as tedious as whoever imitates Ezra Klein, and they’re both about the level of the parody-trolls.

    Uh oh. Somebody’s pissed off that he waddled away from the gloryhole and still has a raging semi.

  136. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:04

    An excellent example.

  137. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:05

    Speaking of raging, I’m hearing the bigots won and Teh Dread Islamic Y has been canceled. Anyone hearing that from a legit news source?

  138. Larkspur said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:06

    I killed Steve. Then I killed steve. Who will be next? Hmmm. Could be Rahm. I do not know.

    Bored now.

  139. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:10

    Speaking of raging, I’m hearing the bigots won and Teh Dread Islamic Y has been canceled. Anyone hearing that from a legit news source?

    Do you have a source on this, reputable or otherwise? I haven’t seen/read anything definite but I’ve been immersed in baseball history and XTC albums much of the night.

  140. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:10

    Anyone hearing that from a legit news source?

    There’s nothing on Wikipedia, which is the closest thing to that nowadays.

  141. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:13

    The only source I’ve read is Haaretz, which is just attributing it to “a source”, and say the formal announcement should be in the next couple days. If it IS true I don’t know if I’m ready for the sickening irony of a buncha wingnuts gloating about how “the terrorists didn’t win”.

  142. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:17

    The only source I’ve read is Haaretz, which is just attributing it to “a source”, and say the formal announcement should be in the next couple days. If it IS true I don’t know if I’m ready for the sickening irony of a buncha wingnuts gloating about how “the terrorists didn’t win”.

    There is a surprisingly good article in The New Yorker that really clarifies exactly who wants to build what. The most salient fact the article brings out is that, ironically, the closer one gets to Manhattan (where the development will supposedly cause such hard feelings and reopen so many old wounds) the more support there is for the project and the farther way one gets (farther in the city, then farther upstate, then farther away nationally) the more vociferous and vile the opposition seems to become.

  143. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:21

    I read the same stats. I think it’s very telling, by the way, that the people who make their living ranting to the base about how fag-infested Jew York ain’t Real America are suddenly going on about this being “hallowed ground”.

  144. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:21

    I read similar. In New York City, the main opposition seems to have settled in Staten Island which is, as most New Yorkers know, a bunch of Republican pricks. Then further and further out, until you get to the Heartland where people are absolutely confused as to the facts of the case, but horribly angry about it none the less.

  145. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:23

    There is a surprisingly good article in The New Yorker that really clarifies exactly who wants to build what. The most salient fact the article brings out is that, ironically, the closer one gets to Manhattan (where the development will supposedly cause such hard feelings and reopen so many old wounds) the more support there is for the project and the farther way one gets (farther in the city, then farther upstate, then farther away nationally) the more vociferous and vile the opposition seems to become.

    Culminating in majority support when you actually get to Manhattan.

    Amazingly, PJM’s op-ed from this morning criticized Obama for daring to interfere in a “local issue.” As native Manhattan dwellers, Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin should know.

  146. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:26

    Culminating in majority support when you actually get to Manhattan.

    In fact, I would wager that as we got closer and closer to the actual proposed building site, support gains more and opposition drops off. Until you get to the actual building site itself, where it’s 97.8-2.1.

  147. One Guy Standing on Top of the Burlington Coat Factory said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:28

    I’m for it.
    I think.

  148. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:29

    How can you be so stupid as to not realize that shutting this thing down is 1) Illegal, and 2) will make a pretty good case for recruitment for the jihadists? This is world’s biggest footbullet ever in the history of the world of footbullets. Lame.

  149. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:30

    When you already see every brown man, woman and child in the world as your enemy as they do, contributing to their radicalization is incidental.

  150. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:32

    Yeah, I guess. I just don’t understand it–I guess when you’re in some shithole in the fucking scumbag midwest or below the Mason Dixon line, you don’t worry so much about who gets targeted in future attacks.

  151. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:33

    When you already see every brown man, woman and child in the world as your enemy as they do, contributing to their radicalization is incidental.

    Particularly when you don’t actually perceive them as having any rights, and thus nothing done against them could possibly be illegal.

  152. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:36

    When you already see every brown man, woman and child in the world as your enemy as they do, contributing to their radicalization is incidental.

    Particularly when you don’t actually perceive them as having any rights, and thus nothing done against them could possibly be illegal.

    Mental illness.

  153. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:38

    How can you be so stupid as to not realize that shutting this thing down is 1) Illegal, and 2) will make a pretty good case for recruitment for the jihadists? This is world’s biggest footbullet ever in the history of the world of footbullets. Lame.

    If the Haaretz article is true, I doubt the mosque will be “shut down” by any external force – it’ll simply have been the imam displaying a level of sensitivity towards the hillbillies who’ve never shown the same to anyone else. (Watch them claim it as a credit to them anyway, cause their harshly worded web rants shore skeered them dune coons good!)

  154. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:39

    Yeah, I guess. I just don’t understand it–I guess when you’re in some shithole in the fucking scumbag midwest or below the Mason Dixon line, you don’t worry so much about who gets targeted in future attacks.

    Also, if it were me, if I wanted to prevent any further attacks by al-Qaeda in New York City, I’d build mosques around literally everything.

    Like a kind of a warding circle “unh unh, fly that plane in here and you’ll destroy this series of mosques as well. God’s going to be pretty pissed about that, isn’t he?” Obviously a flawed plan once examined rationally, since al-Qaeda are a bunch of extremist pricks capable of justifying whatever the fuck they want to do, but on a root-level magical-thinking sort of thing, it should work.

    From these mosques, I shall build chainmail armor for the city.

  155. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:42

    Yeah, I guess. I just don’t understand it–I guess when you’re in some shithole in the fucking scumbag midwest or below the Mason Dixon line, you don’t worry so much about who gets targeted in future attacks.

    I wonder if that contributes to their inferiority complex. The fact that evil foreigners who want to strike a blow against America target places like Pearl Harbor, New York and Washington, never Topeka, Abilene or Phoenix. If you’re them, that’s gotta bite on some level.

  156. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:42

    So as far as I can tell, striving for sensitivity is a bunch of faggy PC shit up until the point when it affords an opportunity to hate a minority. Is this some weird variation on blacks being The Real Racists?

  157. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:43

    If the Haaretz article is true, I doubt the mosque will be “shut down” by any external force – it’ll simply have been the imam displaying a level of sensitivity towards the hillbillies who’ve never shown the same to anyone else. (Watch them claim it as a credit to them anyway, cause their harshly worded web rants shore skeered them dune coons good!)

    If I were the Imam, I wouldn’t build it anyway. It would be like building a replica of the Statue of Liberty in downtown Mogadishu–it wouldn’t last long. One of these assholes would bomb it.

  158. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:45

    The fact that evil foreigners who want to strike a blow against America target places like Pearl Harbor, New York and Washington, never Topeka, Abilene or Phoenix. If you’re them, that’s gotta bite on some level.

    I wager that’s why they’re so insistent on paranoid fantasies of Reconquistas and marauding gangs of Arabic-Mexican decapitation cabals, because that’s the first time any possible threat might actually come in through Phoenix or Albuquerque or so on.

    Of course, it’s still paranoid fantasy, but if we take that away from them, they might be forced back into the reality that they’re stuck living in Phoenix.

  159. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:48

    So as far as I can tell, striving for sensitivity is a bunch of faggy PC shit up until the point when it affords an opportunity to hate a minority. Is this some weird variation on blacks being The Real Racists?

    Makes sense, but I think you’re putting way too much effort into analyzing these crybaby bitches. This is nothing but a political ploy by the likes of SuperSarah and N00t, and a whole bunch of dumb motherfuckers drank the Kewlaid. It’s the same mentality that makes a kid insist that no one else play with a toy he/she isn’t playing with. It’s about establishing dominance. Notice how wingnut dumbfucks like to call themselves alpha males? (Compensating much?)

    There’s no logical, legal, ethical or moral justification for being opposed to this center. Hell there’s no justification for giving a fuck if they build it or not. Twunts to the last, these haters.

  160. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:53

    The fact that evil foreigners who want to strike a blow against America target places like Pearl Harbor, New York and Washington, never Topeka, Abilene or Phoenix. If you’re them, that’s gotta bite on some level

    No shit–howcome they only want to attack the solid blue population centers when the toofless trailer park hordes are the “real” Americans? I think you’re on to something there. I’m gonna keep that in my pocket for the next argument with one of these brain damaged howlers.

    Howcome the Al Qaeda freedom hating terrorists deliberately target the most liberal parts of the country? The squirming will be epic!

  161. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:56

    replace the socially-inept, lonely, dweebish middle-aged men who love comics

    NEVER!

  162. The Terrorists said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:56

    Bismillah-ba-doodle, loony libs! We’re gonna move on to the Real Great Satan eventually, but we haven’t perfected our anti-Rascal missiles yet.

  163. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:57

    What do you bet the first response is “Cause teh hartland is were all the guns are. if we was their we would of shot down those planes before they hit the towers”?

  164. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 6:59

    So as far as I can tell, striving for sensitivity is a bunch of faggy PC shit up until the point when it affords an opportunity to hate a minority. Is this some weird variation on blacks being The Real Racists?

    It’s similar to the sudden concern over the plight of womenfolk in the Islamic world. Actually, TPM addressed this nicely recently http://thepoorman.net/ .

  165. John Gotti, Bernie Goetz, David Berkowitz, Jimmy "The Gent" Burke said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:00

    Yeah, those wily terrorists, going after a city where no one’s armed.

  166. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:01

    Yeah, those wily terrorists, going after a city where no one’s armed.

    A city where no one’s armed… that really is New York in a nutshell, isn’t it.

  167. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:04

    It’s similar to the sudden concern over the plight of womenfolk in the Islamic world. Actually, TPM addressed this nicely recently http://thepoorman.net/ .

    Right. “Side with us because we’re liberating the fags and bitches from Islamic oppression.” And never mind that honor killings and anti-gay killings have gone very much up, not down, in Iraq since the U.S. invasion.

  168. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:04

    Or LA or Seattle. No guns there either.

  169. Whale Chowder said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:04

    There’s no logical, legal, ethical or moral justification for being opposed to this center. Hell there’s no justification for giving a fuck if they build it or not. Twunts to the last, these haters.

    I can understand some of the 9/11 families being upset by it — they have every right not to be rational about it. Newtie and Super Sarah, on the other hand, are transparently manipulating the 27 percenters’ emotions just to stir shit up (and drive another political wedge in). Those people don’t see they’re being manipulated because they’re predisposed to agree with the twunts in the first place.

    The rest are band-wagoneers who haven’t bothered to really think it through. They can’t be counted on in any case but they’re not really evil, just stupid.

  170. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:05

    One of the commenters at the link beat me to it: “We’re giving a shit about women’s rights over there so we don’t have to give a shit about women’s rights over here.”

  171. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:05

    And never mind that honor killings and anti-gay killings have gone very much up, not down, in Iraq since the U.S. invasion.

    Of course they have. That’s because honor is way up. What, you looney libs hate honor now too?

  172. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:10

    Right. “Side with us because we’re liberating the fags and bitches from Islamic oppression.” And never mind that honor killings and anti-gay killings have gone very much up, not down, in Iraq since the U.S. invasion.

    Oh–double standard time again.

    Remember, Saudi Arabia is our friends, despite that shit happening there as much as anywhere else. Those motherfuckers need to shut their pukeholes when it comes to defending women from oppression. Talk about being out of your depth.

  173. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:13

    I can understand some of the 9/11 families being upset by it — they have every right not to be rational about it.

    I don’t think I can. Not anymore. It sounds rather cold maybe, but enough time has passed that I expect everyone to be able to draw a distinction between a particular group of Muslims who committed a heinous action and all the other Muslims in the world.

    The strange thing is, on a personal level I don’t have any more use for Islam than I do for any other set of fairytales invented to curry favor from invisible monsters who live in the sky. I’m no more keen about seeing Islamic religious centers go up than I am about seeing Catholic or Jewish or Hindu or Moonie or Scientologist or Third Wave Anton Lavey Satanic New Wave Bonanza centers go up. The whole bloody mess can shuffle off to whatever hell they imagine is waiting for infidels, as far as I’m concerned. But I’m offended between people who can’t draw a distinction between deluded, daffy nuisances and hardcore militant slivers of aforementioned groups of deluded, daffy nuisances.

  174. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:13

    I can understand some of the 9/11 families being upset by it

    Being unable to fathom what it would be like to endure losing one or more family members, friends, children in those attacks, I would definitely have to agree with this. However, being manipulated and used for a political prop by the Carrot Top of politics (superSarahFailin) would absolutely infuriate me.

  175. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:17

    The strange thing is, on a personal level I don’t have any more use for Islam than I do for any other set of fairytales invented to curry favor from invisible monsters who live in the sky.

    Me either. I’m not Team Jacob or Edward.

  176. justme said,

    August 17, 2010 at 7:21

    how does Hawkins’ exercise differ from a Two-Minute Hate?

    A two minute hate is over after two minutes?

  177. M. Bouffant said,

    August 17, 2010 at 8:08

    Third Wave Anton Lavey Satanic New Wave Bonanza centers

    Sign me up!

  178. Doctorb said,

    August 17, 2010 at 8:09

    Yes …

    One program in the mid-20th century, nicknamed the “fruit machine,” led to over 9,000 Canadian citizens being investigated as suspected homosexuals

  179. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 8:58

    What about all the New Yorkers who have to walk by the Islamic Center on there way to the titty bar, what about their feelings?

  180. Smut Clyde said,

    August 17, 2010 at 9:09

    I can understand some of the 9/11 families being upset by it — they have every right not to be rational about it.

    It seems to be difficult to find any upset families, other than one sister who’s mates with Liz Cheney and has a long history of being upset by the existence of liberals.

  181. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 9:32

    What about all the New Yorkers who have to walk by the Islamic Center on there way to the titty bar, what about their feelings?

    The Night They Raided al-Minsky’s was just on TCM the other night, actually.

  182. justme said,

    August 17, 2010 at 10:05

    Snicker

    Client: “Look, we have to keep this simple. There should be a big red button for them to click on and then a list of directions to follow. Make it simple.”

    Me: “Directions? Directions for what?”

    Client: “On how to use the big red button.”

    and the inevitable POOP

    It’s a poo fetish website. But it needs to be classy.

  183. Actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 11:05

    Regardez, c’est moi!

  184. jim said,

    August 17, 2010 at 12:26

    For a mere $250, you too could be among the lucky attendees.

    Homocon = more con than homo.

    Kind of cunning, really – if you’re gay & dumb enough to vote Party Of No, you’re dumb enough to lose $250 for what sounds like the deformed love-child of Speed-Dating & a Town Hall meeting.

  185. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 12:45

    I suspect part of the reason for the heartlanders’ upset is that they have no understanding of how dense New York is. They mostly live in exurbs or a bunch of exurbs pretending to be a city, where a 13-story building is visible for a long distance. A 13-story building on Park Place will not be visible from a block away because of all the other taller buildings, as Olbermann tried to show last night.

    A 13-stpry building in lower Manhattan is small.

  186. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:05

    (Watch them claim it as a credit to them anyway, cause their harshly worded web rants shore skeered them dune coons good!)

    Like I said. First comment on today’s Roger Simon blog;

    1. HUSKY
    Thanks Mr.Simon, please stay the course on this one; things are starting to getting very interesting. Imam Rauf is quaking in his boots right about now. I’ll bet he’s too afraid to return to our shores; in fact, I know it. Thanks for exposing even more about this ‘taqiyyameistr’ who in his own minds thinks he has all infidels by the proverbial gonads.

    August 17, 2010 – 12:02 am Link to this Comment | Reply

  187. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:11

    I’ll bet he’s too afraid to return to our shores; in fact, I know it

    My pants get tight whenever I stroke my gun and think about swarthy men am right.

  188. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:23

    How can you be so stupid as to not realize that shutting this thing down is 1) Illegal, and 2) will make a pretty good case for recruitment for the jihadists?

    tsam, that borders on heresy. Nothing we do can affect how they feel about us, because as everybody knows they Hate us for our Freedoms.

    For example, guys who have been held in Guantanamo for years and tortured and abused despite being guilty of absolutely nothing, Hate us for our Freedoms.

    And guys whose infant children die as collateral damage in a failed assassination attempt? Those fuckers Hate us for our Freedoms even more than the others.

    There’s just nothing we can do about that kind of unthinking, unreasoning hatred.

  189. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:26

    There’s just nothing we can do about that kind of unthinking, unreasoning hatred.

    We could stroke our guns and think about all the swarthy men who hate us. Stroke faster and harder and faster and harder until we find release in a spasm of teabagging hatred.

    We could.

  190. Smut Clyde said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:27

    Regardez, c’est moi!

    Permettez-moi de vous montrer mes gravures.

  191. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:29

    You want to mount a grave? To quote the best line Melanie Griffith ever had, there’s a word for guys like you. You’re a…a…corpse-fucker!

  192. Willy said,

    August 17, 2010 at 13:38

    justme said,
    August 17, 2010 at 10:05

    That’s awesome.

    David Thorne is a designer who suffers fools not. He’s the guy with the hilarious exchange with a woman wanting a “LOST” poster to locate her cat. Some very entertaining reads.

  193. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 14:18

    Okay, this is colorful.

    http://pajamasmedia.com/michaelledeen/2010/08/15/only-in-america/?singlepage=true

    The author is moved to tears by having attended a wedding where a Marine married his Iraqi interpreter. The article’s titled “Only in America,” because apparently, international weddings only happen in America. (I’ll have to tell my parents to retroactively not get married in Switzerland, lest they disprove PJM’s worldview).

    But I digress. This is the surreal part;

    FOOTNOTE: It took a lot of work and a lot of time to convince the government that people such as her should be embraced by this country. If they are good enough to risk their lives on the battlefield with our soldiers, they are certainly good enough to be offered sanctuary here when and if they become targets of our mutual enemies. Furthermore, they have unique cultural and linguistic skills that we badly need, but to this day the bureaucrats maintain ridiculous requirements (mistakenly imposed in the name of “security”) that often make it impossible for these precious resources to work effectively with us

    Damn those government bureaucrats and their obsession with our “security!”

    Who, in the name of God, who could have passed such cruel laws? I wonder which constituency of howling nutjobs they might have been trying to please? I wonder what websites these people spend their free time on, too…

  194. jim said,

    August 17, 2010 at 14:45

    Furthermore, they have unique cultural and linguistic skills that we badly need, but to this day the bureaucrats maintain ridiculous requirements (mistakenly imposed in the name of “security”) that often make it impossible for these precious resources to work effectively with us

    I’m sure Ledeen wept bitterly & tore up his GOP membership card (& threw away his Decoder Ring) back when all those Arabic-speaking FBI & CIA interpreters were fired right after 9/11 for having Teh Ghey. Unless he thought the “security” of preventing spontaneous informal Homocons among government employees trumped the real security of preventing more dead bodies in American streets … but who could possibly be THAT stupid*?

    ________

    * The answer is here.

  195. Samurai Sam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:04

    I had a Homocon Transformer when I was a kid. You won’t believe what it transformed into…

  196. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:32

    I had a Homocon Transformer when I was a kid. You won’t believe what it transformed into…

    Isn’t it ironic, dontcha think? I was just about to post the same meme.

  197. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:33

    But I digress.

    I really should have trademarked that…

  198. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:35

    A 13-stpry building in lower Manhattan is small.

    As Cloverfield proved when he bowled over buildings of similar size with the head of the Statue of Liberty.

  199. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:36

    Regardez, c’est moi!

    Damn. Pity it’s blocked by Websense. I’d like to know just how far I’ve gotten under this idiot’s skin…

  200. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:38

    What about all the New Yorkers who have to walk by the Islamic Center on there way to the titty bar, what about their feelings?

    63% of Manhattanites favor the cultural center.

  201. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:39

    we haven’t perfected our anti-Rascal missiles yet.

    Felix Cavallieri breathes a sigh of relief.

  202. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:45

    63% of Manhattanites favor the cultural center.

    Holy shit! That much? I was still using wikipedia’ statistics, where forty-something were for it and thirty-something against it. I guess more of them got off the fence, probably prompted by being annoyed at the number of red state carpetbaggers telling them how they should feel.

  203. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:46

    I’m reading today’s post on your blog, and I see what you mean about that patent.

  204. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:49

    Let me clarify, because I shortshifted that stat. A plurality of Manhattanites overall support the mosque, but much of the support comes from lower Manhattanites, who make up the 63% I quoted. Those are the folks who would walk past it eveery day.

  205. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 15:53

    OMFG I AM GOING TO STRANGLE THIS GIRL.

  206. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:02

    Sorry. I done kilt the thre-yud.

  207. Mark D said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:03

    It’s the kind of effect you can normally only get by doing a few lines of heavily cut, ridiculously stepped-on Bolivian Marching Powder and really cranking up an old Billy Joel album (Glass Houses or earlier). Tres kitschy.

    Or as I call it, Friday.

    Anyway, those who oppose the Cordoba House (or Park51, or whatever the hell they’re going to call it) are nothing but clueless fucking bigots.

    Clueless in that, last I checked, the Pentagon was also attacked on 9/11 … and yet has a mosque actually inside of the building!! I know, I know … as pointed out upthread, consistency isn’t these clowns strong suit. But, if they were consistent, they’d be losing their shit.

    And bigots since, last I checked, none of them complained about any Xtian church being built near the Murrah building in OKC. Because we all know that was the work of a few nutjobs, not an entire religion of 1.5 billion people.

    It’s as if they distilled stupid to its purest form, and then started to mainline it …

  208. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:08

    And bigots since, last I checked, none of them complained about any Xtian church being built near the Murrah building in OKC. Because we all know that was the work of a few nutjobs, not an entire religion of 1.5 billion people.

    Yeah, that’s what I said to someone the other day when they were like “It’s just ill-advised.”

    Just fuck off. Really.

  209. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:09

    It’s as if they distilled stupid to its purest form, and then started to mainline it …

    You need to read my blog today. It’s not stupid, it just seems that way.

  210. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:13

    Look, it’s a sort of controversial decision to build anything Islamic in that particular neighborhood. It starts with being Islamic as controversy, and adds the element of being in proximity to the attacks in NYC.

    I get that. I’m OK with people disputing the wisdom of the choice. But here’s the thing: I have no more say over it, and no one else should, than if another FUCKING STARBUCKS opened at that same spot. If the owner thinks it’s a good idea, and it’s neither illegal nor damaging to children, then by all means, roll the dice.

    If you have a problem with the concept, fine. Don’t walk part it, don’t patronize it, leave it to stand or fall on its own. That’s what the free market demands anyway.

    For my part, I will go out of my way to go in there at least once, just to show my support of the imam and his ideal to bring some peace and understanding to a ravaged neighborhood.

  211. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:13

    Clueless in that, last I checked, the Pentagon was also attacked on 9/11 … and yet has a mosque actually inside of the building!! I know, I know … as pointed out upthread, consistency isn’t these clowns strong suit. But, if they were consistent, they’d be losing their shit.

    Oh, don’t worry – I have no doubt those who are aware of it have freaked out just as much about that.

    Consistency may not be their strongest point, but they’re pretty consistent about the fact that Muslims suck no matter where they are.

  212. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:14

    For my part, I will go out of my way to go in there at least once, just to show my support of the imam and his ideal to bring some peace and understanding to a ravaged neighborhood.

    Let us know how that goes, I’m curious what the end result of the “mosque” will be.

  213. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:15

    If you have a problem with the concept, fine.

    Sure. But I’m still going to call you an ignorant racist.

  214. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:21

    Let us know how that goes, I’m curious what the end result of the “mosque” will be.

    I’ll let you know after the third game of three-on-three in the gym.

    It’s a frikkin’ YMCA, fercrissake! It has a prayer room, like our Y has a chapel. BFD.

  215. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:23

    Furthermore, they have unique cultural and linguistic skills that we badly need, but to this day the bureaucrats maintain ridiculous requirements (mistakenly imposed in the name of “security”) that often make it impossible for these precious resources to work effectively with us

    That said, let’s get back to the subject – no bilingual edumacation, multiculturalism is bad, and let’s show support for Arizona’s law to challenge brown people we meet in the street to prove they’re legal residents!

    Seriously – I’m pleased to see that Right Wing Tool Michael Ledeen (father of Simone “spreadsheet? what’s a spreadsheet?” Ledeen) at least has the humanity to identify with one immigrant brown person, but what amazes me about the tools is even with a brief epiphany they can still compartmentalize so that they can turn around and hate a different set of immigrant brown people. Or pretend to for political reasons.

  216. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:27

    Personally, I’m waiting for when they start hating the Aboriginal Australians.

  217. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:28

    but what amazes me about the tools is even with a brief epiphany they can still compartmentalize so that they can turn around and hate a different set of immigrant brown people.

    It’s a fucking talent. Sometimes I wish I could do it…life would be so much simpler.

  218. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:31

    We could stroke our guns and think about all the swarthy men who hate us. Stroke faster and harder and faster and harder until we find release in a spasm of teabagging hatred.

    I just finished and I’m still frightened. What now? Maybe I better develop a deep hatred for all those I assume have bigger dicks than me, meaning any non-white. Cuz really, that’s what it all comes down to in the end, isn’t it? (Worldwide?)

  219. montag said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:36

    Hey, who’s the John Candy wannabe in the picture?

    The host of this bash?

    And is this for all the people that the Log Cabin Republicans wouldn’t let in their clubhouse?

  220. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:39

    The article’s titled “Only in America,” because apparently, international weddings only happen in America. (I’ll have to tell my parents to retroactively not get married in Switzerland, lest they disprove PJM’s worldview).

    What’s with this “only in America” shit? I hate that shit. I do like it when an article is entitled with that crap because then I know right away not to bother reading it.

  221. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:45

    I just finished and I’m still frightened.

    You’re doing it wrong. One is never “finished” with gun stroking.

  222. Cargo said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:48

    I can’t wait for SonderKommandoKon ’10 . Gonna be HOT!!

  223. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:49

    What’s with this “only in America” shit? I hate that shit. I do like it when an article is entitled with that crap because then I know right away not to bother reading it.

    I just posted it on facebook, with the following introduction;

    Yay for intercultural weddings! Like freedom, democracy, civil rights, individual rights, freedom of expression, equal protection and limited government, weddings like this happen in America, happen in all kinds of other countries too, but nevertheless prove that America is exceptional and totally unlike all those other countries. Hence the patriotic title: Only In America. It might be technically incorrect, but it’s also politically incorrect, which is pretty much the manliest thing since Ronald Reagan, so suck it, unamerican world!

    Seriously, there’s unique things about every country, but none of the things they chest-thump about are “exceptional.” (Especially not the “Christian nation” part. Christ, even if it was true, the world’s had more Christian nations than it knows what to do with and far more than it deserves).

  224. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:51

    Yay for intercultural weddings!

    Except to make anchor babies.

  225. Ernie Anastos said,

    August 17, 2010 at 16:54

    You’re doing it wrong. One is never “finished” with gun stroking.

    Keep polishing that Winchester!

  226. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:00

    Hey, who’s the John Candy wannabe in the picture?

    The host of this bash?

    You see his face and you assume he’s a top?

  227. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:04

    You see his face and you assume he’s a top?

    Uuuuuuugh noooooooooo images NOOOOOOOOOO!

    Thanks a lot.

    Dude needs to learn how to cheat his chin so his neck is actually somewhat visible in pictures.

  228. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:05

    Are you suggesting he cheat on his chin with his elbow? I don;t think he’s flexible enough to get either near his port of entry.

  229. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:06

    Dude needs to learn how to cheat his chin so his neck is actually somewhat visible in pictures.

    That chin would survive a nuclear attack. I don’t think that’s possible.

  230. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:06

    Are you suggesting he cheat on his chin with his elbow? I don;t think he’s flexible enough to get either near his port of entry.

    You assume he knows his ass from his elbow.

  231. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:06

    Are you suggesting he cheat on his chin with his elbow? I don;t think he’s flexible enough to get either near his port of entry.

    Obviously, you’ve never watched America’s Next Top Model.

  232. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:07

    So if we this community center doesn’t get built, I propose we squeal about Catholic schools or any Catholic center being built near a playground. (Stolen from John Oliver and Jon Stewart). Essentially the theme is that we hold an entire religion responsible for it’s worst elements. Talk about your slippery slopes.

  233. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:08

    Obviously, you’ve never watched America’s Next Top Model.

    True. Do I get a medal?

  234. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:08

    True. Do I get a medal?

    No, just the extra brain cells you get to hold onto by not listening to Tyra Banks’ inane blabbering. Use them wisely, my friend.

  235. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:09

    I propose we squeal about Catholic schools or any Catholic center being built near a playground.

    And any bank built near homes.

  236. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:09

    You’re doing it wrong. One is never “finished” with gun stroking.

    We’re gonna need more gun oil.

    (Said like Chow Yun Fat in whatever that bullet riddled action flick he was in with the uber-hot Mira Sorvino).

  237. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:10

    And any bank built near homes.

    One martini, coming up!

  238. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:11

    Chow Yun Fat in whatever that bullet riddled action flick he was in

    Replacement Kirrers.

  239. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:12

    (via Wonkette)

    That’s going to leave a mark

  240. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:12

    Personally, I’m waiting for when they start hating the Aboriginal Australians.

    I seem to remember a small spate of that statesmanship and wisdom after Midnight Oil released that song (Burning Beds..or something like that?). Somehow it was the fault of the Abos for being where whitey wanted to build stuff.

  241. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:15

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

  242. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:15

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

  243. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:16

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

    Hit it right on the head.

  244. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:17

    Somehow it was the fault of the Abos for being where whitey wanted to build stuff.

    Rule number 2!

  245. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:17

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

    Hit it right on the head.

    I wanted to make sure it was driven home.

  246. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:18

    So if we this community center doesn’t get built, I propose we squeal about Catholic schools or any Catholic center being built near a playground. (Stolen from John Oliver and Jon Stewart). Essentially the theme is that we hold an entire religion responsible for it’s worst elements. Talk about your slippery slopes.

    Also, conservative Christians are no longer allowed to build in Oklahoma City.

  247. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:18

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

    Hit it right on the head.

    I wanted to make sure it was driven home.

    Otherwise it might have bombed.

  248. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:19

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

    Hit it right on the head.

    I wanted to make sure it was driven home.

    Otherwise it might have bombed.

    Would have gone over like a lead balloon.

  249. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:20

    *sigh* I really hope these jokes crater soon.

  250. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:21

    That’s going to leave a mark

    That’s deep, man.

    The hole thing!

    Hit it right on the head.

    I wanted to make sure it was driven home.

    Otherwise it might have bombed.

    Would have gone over like a lead balloon.

    Nothing to do but quote Colbert: “Your enemies accuse you of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. That’s ridiculous. You’re not sinking…you’re soaring! You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Hindenburg!”

  251. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:23

    You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Hindenburg

    He was a bright meteorite in the Alaskan sky

  252. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:25

    *sigh* I really hope these jokes crater soon.

    “Judge Crater, phone home”

  253. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:26

    “Judge Crater, phone home”

    Earhart wasn’t in it…

  254. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:28

    Godot somewhere else.

  255. Aida Baggodix-Daley said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:28

    To the proprietors of Sadly,No!

    Your use of my image on your web site is unauthorized. My lawyers will contact you shortly to discuss licensing opportunities. Until then I must insist that you remove the infringing photograph.

  256. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:29

    Godot somewhere else.

    Well, Hoffa loaf is better than none.

  257. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:45

    Rule number 2!

    I know nothing about this Rule 2 of which you speak.

  258. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:46

    Also, conservative Christians are no longer allowed to build in Oklahoma City.

    Or within 10,000 feet of any family services provider.

  259. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:47

    I know nothing about this Rule 2 of which you speak.

    *GASP*

    And you call yourself a denizen of a comedy blog????

  260. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:48

    God, Robin Carnahan has done a fucking TERRIBLE job of campaigning.

    And Blunt’s up about 7%, of course. There’s a discussion of the “intensity gap,” which I think is true, but people seem to be attributing it to the national political climate right now, when I think, in actuality, the intensity gap is mostly because of Carnahan’s lackluster campaigning. I can’t tell you how many events I’ve heard her decline that Blunt’s attended. And we’re not talking crazy-ass teabagger events, but normal stuff that politicians do, including an event specifically about women in politics. McCaskill got her seat by working her fucking ass off, and we helped *almost* delivery Missouri for Obama using the same strategies McCaskill did.

    I don’t know what the fuck is going on with them. I almost wonder if somebody’s sick or something has happened to keep her from campaigning like she should be.

  261. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:50

    I don’t know what the fuck is going on with them.

    Maybe she’s planning to die in a plane crash just before the vote? It worked once in her family.

  262. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:50

    Maybe she’s planning to die in a plane crash just before the vote?

    OUCH.

  263. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:51

    Hey. I hate to interrupt a good series of puns. (Actually I don’t.) But I hadda to mention that you can see your’s truly in the latest issue of Advanced Photoshop, which is finally out. Yay!

  264. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:52

    And you call yourself a denizen of a comedy blog????

    More like a guy who’s job is so soul crushing that he uses humor as a defense mechanism and found a blog that’s not inhabited with a bunch of concern trolls and purity trolls and generally stupid people at which to vent and try to improve his knowledge and ability to quickly put down a wingnut.

    I know denizens. I worked with denizens. I, sir, am no denizen.

  265. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:53

    YAAAAAAAAAAY, VS!!!!!

  266. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:53

    I know denizens. I worked with denizens. I, sir, am no denizen.

    OK, then you’re a demistassen….or a delicatessen…or something. Work on it, get back to me.

  267. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:54

    But I hadda to mention that you can see your’s truly in the latest issue of Advanced Photoshop, which is finally out. Yay!

    Got a microscope?

    Is that the chick with the big hair taking a dump? You know, the self-portrait?

  268. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:55

    Oops. Sorry for the unintentional ‘. I hate stuff like that.

  269. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:56

    Speaking of comedy, I am stoked because I’m going to go see Paul F. Tompkins in a couple of weeks. I am not looking forward to driving home from St. Louis at midnight, but on the upside, that means I won’t get drunk and yell at him to do the bee fucking and peanut brittle snake bits.

  270. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:57

    Athankee, T&U. :D

  271. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 17:59

    Is that the chick with the big hair taking a dump? You know, the self-portrait?

    BE NICE.

  272. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:00

    I’m going to go see Paul F. Tompkins in a couple of weeks.

    I blame him for my obsession with pocket bears.

  273. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:00

    Bees are the rednecks of the insect world

    Think about it: the guy sits around his mom’s house until some bitch in a tube top gets horny, chases her down, knocks her up and leaves her alone to raise a frikkin’ litter with the other wimminfolk.

  274. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:01

    I blame him for my obsession with pocket bears.

    It’s just a house bear!

  275. Stephen Colbert said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:02

    It’s just a house bear!

    That shit ain’t funny.

  276. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:03

    bee fucking and peanut brittle snake

    You Midwesterners have some odd customs.

  277. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:03

    If you were attracted to bees, a woman dressed in a sexy bee costume probably wouldn’t do it for you.

  278. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:05

    a woman dressed in a sexy bee costume

    would remind me of John Belushi and thus lead to reflections on mortality.

  279. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:06

    You Midwesterners have some odd customs.

    Ya gotta do something to pass the lonely, cold, dark nights…we don’t have electricity, so it’s either that or clean the outhouse.

  280. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:06

    would remind me of John Belushi and thus lead to reflections on mortality.

    Or Joe Cocker

  281. Willy said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:08

    Bees are the rednecks of the insect world

    Think about it: the guy sits around his mom’s house until some bitch in a tube top gets horny, chases her down, knocks her up and leaves her alone to raise a frikkin’ litter with the other wimminfolk.

    Ants: The queen mates with a male and stores his sperm. All the offspring for her lifetime comes from that single mating. The ultimate in reproductive self-control and self-determination.

    I’m pretty sure that Republicans hate ants.

  282. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:09

    When I moved back to the Midwest after living in Manhattan for a couple of years, I had people who had never been to the city correcting me about what NYC is like. “Oh, no, you shouldn’t have walked around *there* at night….that’s so dangerous,” etc. Someone also assured me with a straight face that “the blacks” walk around blaring “jungle music” from huge boomboxes. Seriously. These are the same people who are now experts on urban planning and gravely pious about the sanctity of Ground Zero –while patrons clutching piaculative pence bustle in and out of the sex stores and Starbucks that do so much to consecrate the soil.

  283. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:13

    Someone also assured me with a straight face that “the blacks” walk around blaring “jungle music” from huge boomboxes.

    While wearing purple suits and fedoras with peacock feathers.

  284. Cardinal Richelieu said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:16

    I’m at work, don’t have time to read ze thread. Has anybody seen the stoopit new Douthat column about the Irish Catholics and how the Nativists did them a favor by teaching them a lesson? I make ze read of it at ze Salon.com zee morning by ze Mme. Walsh.

  285. Whale Chowder said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:17

    While wearing purple suits and fedoras with peacock feathers.

    Okay, who put up the camera in my neighborhood? That’s my favorite outfit for walking the dog!

  286. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:22

    That’s going to leave a mark
    That’s deep, man.
    The hole thing!
    Hit it right on the head.
    I wanted to make sure it was driven home.
    Otherwise it might have bombed.
    Would have gone over like a lead balloon.

    Off topic music trivia:

    Jimmy Page of the Yardbirds was jamming with Keith Moon one day and after a long drum solo Keith said a variation of that phrase which was “That went over like a lead zeppelin” and presto a new band name was born. I know this is true because I read it in the liner notes of a Who album, “The Kids Are All Right” I think..

  287. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:24

    Hey. I hate to interrupt a good series of puns. (Actually I don’t.) But I hadda to mention that you can see your’s truly in the latest issue of Advanced Photoshop, which is finally out. Yay!

    You’re becoming quite the recognized artist! Congratulations! You deserve every bit of it.

  288. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:24

    Has anybody seen the stoopit new Douthat column about the Irish Catholics and how the Nativists did them a favor by teaching them a lesson?

    Yeah, I was going to post about that, but I thought someone else might have and I was too lazy to check.

  289. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:27

    I’m shocked that they’d be worried about “the blacks”. Everyone knows the true hip racist worries about the Nuyoricans blasting their calypso music or whatever at all hours of the day and night. Blacks and their jungle music? So passe. May as well worry about the Hasidics blasting klezmer music on all but the wrong day of rest.

  290. smedley said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:28

    “stoopit new Douthat column”

    Office of Redundancy Department is notified.

  291. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:31

    Oh, man, I just went to Salon and typed “Douchehat” into the search box to find Walsh’s column without even thinking.

  292. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:31

    Amanda has a good take down about Douchehat at Pandagon
    http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/assimilate_to_which_america/

  293. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:32

    Oh, man, I just went to Salon and typed “Douchehat” into the search box to find Walsh’s column without even thinking.

    I think the most pertinent question is, did the search logarithm find the article immediately from your mix-up, or did you have to go with “Did you mean ‘Douthat’?”

  294. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:33

    “Oh, man, I just went to Salon and typed “Douchehat

    Why, how is it supposed to be spelled??”

  295. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:33

    Office of Redundancy Department is notified.

    And informed.

  296. pedantic douchehat said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:36

    Shouldn’t that be “Department of Redundancy Department”?

  297. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:37

    I think the most pertinent question is, did the search logarithm find the article immediately from your mix-up, or did you have to go with “Did you mean ‘Douthat’?”

    Nothing came up. LAME.

  298. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:40

    This made me lawl.

    Anybody who claims to be a member of Mensa as part of an argument is practically guaranteed to be a fucking idiot.

  299. pedantic douchehat said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:42

    You can by one if you like.
    http://rlv.zcache.com/worlds_biggest_douche_hat-p148572051266899200qz14_400.jpg

  300. Zombie Nathan Bedford Forrest said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:43

    This here Douthat fellow seems quite bright.

  301. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:44

    Y’know, I’ve often wondered about things like that hat. If more than one person wearing a “World’s Biggest blah” comes into contact with one another, do they have to fight for dominance?

    I imagine two old men at a retirement village, both wearing “World’s Greatest Grandpa” shirts, having to struggle to throat each other like wolves.

  302. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:44

    You’re becoming quite the recognized artist! Congratulations! You deserve every bit of it.

    Thanks, tsam! That’s really kind of you to say.

  303. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:45

    This here Douthat fellow seems quite bright.

    Pretty sure he’s a Papist though. Gonna have to run him out too.

  304. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:47

    If that pedantic douche hat is interested, this is the official unofficial definition.

    1 : Completely idiotic, without redeeming value, used when douche bag is not derogatory enough (after all, douche bags serve a potentially useful purpose.) 2 : Totally useless or frivolous, as in a miniature hat meant to sit on top of a douche bag.
    That guy came out of nowhere and kicked me in the nuts for no reason! What a douche hat.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche%20hat

  305. smedley said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:47

    “I imagine two old men at a retirement village, both wearing “World’s Greatest Grandpa” shirts, having to struggle to throat each other like wolves.”

    My daughter gave me a mug that proves I AM THE WORLD’S BEST DAD!!!!!

  306. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:50

    My daughter gave me a mug that proves I AM THE WORLD’S BEST DAD!!!!!

    Sounds like nepotism to me. What’d the French judge say?

  307. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:54

    On the 2 train today there was a hipster wearing an “America is Full” shirt along with plaid shorts and what looked like earth-show sandals. Is “Louchehat” a word?

  308. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:55

    Is “Louchehat” a word?

    It is now!

    Or maybe “Louchedouche”?

  309. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:57

    On the 2 train today there was a hipster wearing an “America is Full” shirt along with plaid shorts and what looked like earth-show sandals

    Should’ve added an ironic pair of argyle Jack Wills socks. Kids today don’t know how to complete the look. :(

  310. gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:57

    Apperently Ross also has a douchebag beard if not the backwards hat.

    http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=niNQUOyQmOI

  311. smedley said,

    August 17, 2010 at 18:59

    “This here Douthat fellow seems quite bright.

    Pretty sure he’s a Papist though. Gonna have to run him out too”

    Shhh. Don’t tell Douthat that in the Nineteenth Century, Catholics were told they that to be real ‘murkins, they had to become Protestant.

  312. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:00

    I’m an old. I don’t own any ironic socks, hypocritical pants, or fuck-me pumps.

  313. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:05

    I’m an old. I don’t own any ironic socks, hypocritical pants, or fuck-me pumps.

    I have a pair of hypothetical topsiders by Band of Outsiders for Sperry on back order, as well as a highly esoteric sweater vest and a deconstructed linen suit that can best be described as non-Euclidean (totally thumbing its nose at Playfair’s Postulate).

  314. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:07

    I do own a red satin jacket advertising the Holmes & Watson saloon in Troy, NY. I won it by completing 5 beer world tours in 1985, each consisting of 60 different brands of beer. 300 beers might not seem like a lot for a year, but I was a student with limited time, and I actually drank all of them in about 50 evenings.

  315. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:08

    Shhh. Don’t tell Douthat that in the Nineteenth Century, Catholics were told they that to be real ‘murkins, they had to become Protestant.

    And by Nineteenth Century, you mean the middle of the twentieth, right? Back when we just couldn’t trust Johnnie K not to hand over the keys to the kingdom to the Papal State? Going on to… well, now, actually, would be a pretty close bet.

    This is what infuriates me the most out of all the self-loathing minority groups embracing the Republican nativists. Roman Catholics who forget that they’re seen as just as much part of the problem as any of us dirty liberal Jews, atheistic Commies and brown folk of all creeds.

  316. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:10

    I have a t-shirt with a cheesy kitten iron-on transfer. And a Hee-Haw shirt.

    Fuck. I really AM a hipster! In my defense, I never wear them. At least in public.

  317. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:12

    Also, I’m not sure I’d be able to restrain myself from punching someone with an “America is Full” shirt. Just in terms of unused space, America could fit several mid-sized countries worth of people in affordable housing. Shit, China and India fit billions of people in half the space.

  318. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:13

    Y. I won it by completing 5 beer world tours in 1985, each consisting of 60 different brands of beer.

    85 was an awesome year. Debbie Harry and Molly Ringwald were still hot. Jello Biafra was sticking it to Tipper Gore (figuratively). The Psychedelic Furs had just released the highly underrated Mirror Moves. I was the worst third baseman in the history of Little League. Girls were wearing skirts with skinny tweed ties. Good times, good times.

  319. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:13

    I have a t-shirt with a cheesy kitten iron-on transfer.

    Ahem

  320. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:14

    I have a t-shirt with a cheesy kitten iron-on transfer. And a Hee-Haw shirt.

    A real hipster would wait for Junk Food to put out the same shirts and charge 35 bucks for them.

  321. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:15

    Ahem

    Yours is much better. In fact, it’s adorable. Mine has, like, butterflies and shit on it.

  322. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:15

    85 was an awesome year….I was the worst third baseman in the history of Little League.

    My intramural hockey team won a championship. I led the league in drawing penalties (not getting them…getting other people to commit them against me), fulfilling my destiny.

  323. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:16

    A real hipster would wait for Junk Food to put out the same shirts and charge 35 bucks for them.
    Maybe that’s what I’m doing…

  324. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:16

    Do butterflies shit? Actually, do butterflies eat?

  325. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:18

    My intramural hockey team won a championship. I led the league in drawing penalties (not getting them…getting other people to commit them against me), fulfilling my destiny.

    Awesome. I’ve always been quite expert at being hit by pitches.

  326. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:19

    Do butterflies shit? Actually, do butterflies eat?

    From what I’m led to understand, it’s mostly a liquid sort of thing. On both ends.

  327. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:20

    Do butterflies shit? Actually, do butterflies eat?

    Not really. They drink, though.

    And I was going to make a joke about what I was doing in 1985, but thought better of it.

  328. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:20

    Awesome. I’ve always been quite expert at being hit by pitches.

    I led the neighborhood kids in strikes in streetball. Getting them, not giving them.

  329. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:22

    And I was going to make a joke about what I was doing in 1985, but thought better of it.

    Considering in 1985, I was just about to progress on to big boy underpants for the first time, I’d hardly wager you have that much to fear.

  330. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:22

    And I was going to make a joke about what I was doing in 1985, but thought better of it.

    The thought of Actor getting pervy about L’il T&U skeeved you?

  331. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:22

    You’re becoming quite the recognized artist!

    Maybe if she stopped knocking over liquor stores…

  332. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:23

    Considering in 1985, I was just about to progress on to big boy underpants for the first time, I’d hardly wager you have that much to fear.

    I was trying to avoid making people feel old because I started pre-school and learned how to tie my shoes. Oooh, and caught a NASTY case of chicken pox.

  333. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:24

    Maybe if she stopped knocking over liquor stores…

    Hey, with the economy as it is, that’s where the money is.

  334. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:24

    Anybody who claims to be a member of Mensa as part of an argument is practically guaranteed to be a fucking idiot.

    As a former Mensa member, I concur.

    (waiting for it…)

  335. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:24

    Never mind the kitten iron-ons, I want to know where I can subscribe to the newsletter about the ironic fuck-me pumps.

    (Is that really a thing? God, I’m old. You kids need to STAY OFF MY LAWN!)

  336. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:25

    The thought of Actor getting pervy about L’il T&U skeeved you?

    No, ew, and now that you mention it…

    I was just trying to be nice. That’s the last time I do that!

  337. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:25

    I was trying to avoid making people feel old because I started pre-school and learned how to tie my shoes. Oooh, and caught a NASTY case of chicken pox.

    Well, you’re still an older woman to me. My ’85 shoes didn’t even have velcro strips, for God’s sake.

  338. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:25

    As a former Mensa member

    Lost you membership in the great IQ sell-off of 1980?

  339. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:25

    My daughter gave me a mug that proves I AM THE WORLD’S BEST DAD!!!!!

    Mine gave me one that says “BEST DAD IN THE MULTIVERSE!!!!!”, so I pwn you.

  340. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:26

    I have a t-shirt with a cheesy kitten iron-on transfer.

    You better take it off before anyone sees you.

  341. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:27

    I don’t own any ironic socks

    I used to irony my own socks, but now I send them to the droll cleaners.

  342. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:27

    Mine gave me one that says “BEST DAD IN THE MULTIVERSE!!!!!”, so I pwn you.

    Mine gave me a “Best Dad On Earth-2″ mug. Which is useful, since I don’t have any children in Earth-1.

  343. mycroft said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:27

    Anybody who claims to be a member of Mensa as part of an argument is practically guaranteed to be a fucking idiot.

    Asimov published a joke book my father owned because “I really want to see what that sad son of a bitch thinks is funny.” My father had a sense of proto-hipster irony though it was more Kierkegaardian than Eggersian but so then anyway the best part of this book was that Asimov organized the jokes according to how smart you’d have to be to get them. They included notes he would add about who would/would not appreciate the jokes. There were frequent references to things that “Mensa members only” would get.

    I miss my father.

  344. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:28

    The thought of Actor getting pervy about L’il T&U skeeved you?

    Part of my existence is scouting potential.

  345. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:29

    Lost you membership in the great IQ sell-off of 1980?

    No, I auctioned it off for charity when the Prometheus Society invited me.

  346. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:30

    Well, you’re still an older woman to me. My ’85 shoes didn’t even have velcro strips, for God’s sake.

    Way to make me feel old, dude. By then I had stopped putting my shirt on backwards more than half the time. (Actually, probably at about the same rate I avoid putting my shirt on backwards now).

  347. 77south said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:30

    Mine gave me one that says “BEST DAD IN THE MULTIVERSE!!!!!”, so I pwn you.

    A coalition of used kleenex gave me a mug that said “Best Potential Dad in the World, Lifetime achievement award”

  348. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:30

    Part of my existence is scouting potential.

    Lil’ Truculent would be in the wrong version of Scouts for that sort of thing though, wouldn’t she?

  349. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:30

    85…I was nearly 30.

    I got married.

    Not that either of those two events were intentional.

    Both have since been surpassed.

  350. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:31

    Part of my existence is scouting potential.

    Ew.

  351. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:31

    (Actually, probably at about the same rate I avoid putting my shirt on backwards now).

    This is a sad testament to the far reaching effects of the IQ crash of 1980.

  352. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:32

    Lil’ Truculent would be in the wrong version of Scouts for that sort of thing though, wouldn’t she?

    I did not make a gender distinction, did I?

  353. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:32

    Way to make me feel old, dude.

    It’s one of the rules of the universe, I’m afraid. There’s always someone there just young enough to make you feel old. It does work the other way, but at a certain point it just plateaus as “dead”.

  354. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:33

    This is a sad testament to the far reaching effects of the IQ crash of 1980.

    Huh unh! My mom told me that it was because I was too busy thinking about important, profound things to pay attention to my shirts. Like Einstein and his hair.

  355. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:33

    at a certain point it just plateaus as “dead”.

    That would have been 1991.

  356. jim said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:33

    Oh, man, I just went to Salon and typed “Douchehat” into the search box to find Walsh’s column without even thinking.

    Epic Search Fail WIN!

    “One of us … one of us … one of us …”

  357. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:33

    This is a sad testament to the far reaching effects of the IQ crash of 1980.

    Less so than Reagan’s election.

  358. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:35

    It’s one of the rules of the universe, I’m afraid. There’s always someone there just young enough to make you feel old

    Oh, I know. I was just kidding. Although it fucks with my mind that there are currently people on this campus who were born in 1992.

  359. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:35

    85 was an awesome year…

    I can recall absolutely nothing from 1985. Must have been awesome indeed.

  360. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:37

    The Class of 2014 doesn’t wear wrist watches

  361. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:39

    85…I was nearly 30.

    I got married.

    Not that either of those two events were intentional.

    Both have since been surpassed.

    Actor, my God. We share exactly the same age and marital history. How long did yours last, if I may ask? (Mine was 11 years, counting one of separation.)

  362. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:40

    The Class of 2014 doesn’t wear wrist watches.

    Do they at least still wear sunscreen?

  363. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:40

    Oh, I know. I was just kidding. Although it fucks with my mind that there are currently people on this campus who were born in 1992.

    The other day, after I solved a software problem one of my students was facing, he expressed some surprised admiration that I was able to solve his problem so quickly. With my best fake Josiah T. Cornpone accent, I replied, “Son, I’ve been doing this since before you were born.”

    Then, in my own accent, I said, “Holy shit, I actually have been doing this since before you were born.” Getting old isn’t all bad, but sometimes it sneaks up on you. I still feel like it’s the early 1990s. It’s kind of NOT, though.

  364. Angry Geometer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:41

    I propose we squeal about Catholic schools or any Catholic center being built near a playground. (Stolen from John Oliver and Jon Stewart). Essentially the theme is that we hold an entire religion responsible for it’s worst elements. Talk about your slippery slopes.

    Well, since the Imam in question is a Sufi, the correct analogy would be like telling the Unitarians they can’t build near a playground because of what the Catholics did.

  365. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:41

    How long did yours last, if I may ask? (Mine was 11 years, counting one of separation.)

    It made it to the new milennium, panting, wheezing and clawing its way across the finish line. It’s hard to pin an exact date on it, since she counts the separation and I count the final decree, but just shy of twenty years.

  366. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:42

    I still feel like it’s the early 1990s.

    Me, I blame the drugs for this feeling.

    I’m still waiting for the knock at the door and the “DAD!” from some stranger.

  367. Angry Geometer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:46

    The eighties almost killed me. Let’s not recall them quite so fondly.

  368. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:47

    When I moved back to the Midwest after living in Manhattan for a couple of years, I had people who had never been to the city correcting me about what NYC is like. “Oh, no, you shouldn’t have walked around *there* at night….that’s so dangerous,” etc. Someone also assured me with a straight face that “the blacks” walk around blaring “jungle music” from huge boomboxes. Seriously. These are the same people who are now experts on urban planning and gravely pious about the sanctity of Ground Zero –while patrons clutching piaculative pence bustle in and out of the sex stores and Starbucks that do so much to consecrate the soil.

    Hmm.

    I have a conservative, middle class Southern friend who was apartment-hunting all over DC last summer. Her boyfriend wasn’t in town, but he tried to help by looking up the crime rates in all the city’s neighborhoods (there are maps online that are very specific) and sending that to her. She pretty much ignored them, and instead created her own mental map by… counting the ratio of white to nonwhite in all the areas she was visiting.

    Her boyfriend eventually went “OK, WTF?” about the neighborhoods she was crossing off as unsafe even though the maps showed they were perfectly fine, and her reasoning was that it might be safe for them but that as a white blonde girl she’d stand out as a target. It was sort of mind-boggling; apparently, black people who’ve controlled their criminal urges for their entire life simply can’t restrain them in the presence of a white person.

  369. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:49

    It was sort of mind-boggling; apparently, black people who’ve controlled their criminal urges for their entire life simply can’t restrain them in the presence of a white person.

    Now now, let’s be fair. Black men can’t control their jungle urges in the presence of a white woman. That’s a commonly held belief fact of reality.

  370. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:51

    I’m still waiting for the knock at the door and the “DAD!” from some stranger.

    Shall I call my friend with the NYC Make A Wish Foundation?

  371. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:52

    Let’s not recall them quite so fondly.

    Not really fondly in my case. I was in a high-pressure engineering program and relieving stress with binge drinking and goading people into high-sticking my face mask.

  372. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:53

    . It was sort of mind-boggling; apparently, black people who’ve controlled their criminal urges for their entire life simply can’t restrain them in the presence of a white person.

    The mandingo ate my blond baby!

  373. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:54

    Her boyfriend eventually went “OK, WTF?” about the neighborhoods she was crossing off as unsafe even though the maps showed they were perfectly fine, and her reasoning was that it might be safe for them but that as a white blonde girl she’d stand out as a target. It was sort of mind-boggling; apparently, black people who’ve controlled their criminal urges for their entire life simply can’t restrain them in the presence of a white person.

    Wow. This white/blond woman goes out by herself in a multi-cultural neighborhood all the time. Like I’ve said before, It’s a wonder I haven’t been raped.

    Ya know what’s funny? One day I was jogging in tonier part of my neighborhood and this one house had dogs loose in the front yard. They went after me like I was made out of ham. It was large black man who scared them away. He ROCKED. Silly me, I should have known it was just some scheme to rape me later. He hasn’t done it to this day, but I think he’s still biding his time.

  374. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:55

    I was in a high-pressure engineering program and relieving stress with binge drinking and goading people into high-sticking my face mask.

    HACK THE BONE! HACK THE BONE!

  375. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:55

    They went after me like I was made out of ham.

    You’re not?

  376. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:55

    Like I’ve said before, It’s a wonder I haven’t been raped.

    Maybe if you stopped propositioning them first…

  377. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:56

    I bought my first house in a predominantly black neighborhood in Seattle, and when I decided to move there, my North End dwelling friends were appalled that I would move “down there” where I might get my house broken into or sprayed with grafitti.

    My neighbors were mostly retired African-American couples who spent most of their time at home sitting on the porch, watching the neighborhood. That and young gay landscape and garden designers who spent every fine hour working in their yards. Our neighbors were so vigilant that during my first month, an elderly gentleman came out of his house and scolded me for allowing my dog to poop on the parking strip.

    I carried plastic bags in my pocket after that.

  378. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:57

    They went after me like I was made out of ham.

    You’re not?

    No. I’m made out of marshmallow and adamantium.

  379. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 19:58

    Cynthia Boaz just posted the best response to the SACERD GROUND meme:

    It’s not like we haven’t been building Ground Zeros near mosques since 2003…

  380. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:02

    This is what infuriates me the most out of all the self-loathing minority groups embracing the Republican nativists. Roman Catholics who forget that they’re seen as just as much part of the problem as any of us dirty liberal Jews, atheistic Commies and brown folk of all creeds.

    This Roman Catholic agrees. It drives me mad to see prominent Catholics cozying up to the fundies running the religious right again and again to no perceivable benefit.

    These guys hate us: they don’t even perceive us as Christian, as you might deduce from the way they flood Latin America with missionaries in an effort to bring Papists to Jesus. And the Church gets nothing for it in return. I mean, the original point of teaming up with the fundies was to create a solid pro-life/anti-gay political bloc, but there’s been no progress at all in that department. Meanwhile, the fundies are making a lot of progress trampling concepts like social justice and international peace, which the Church says it holds in such high regard, and the bishops have nothing, not one damn thing to say about it.

    Heck, just watching them sit on their asses and twiddle their thumbs during the health care debate should be enough to make anyone vomit who actually holds Catholic values.

  381. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:05

    My neighbors were mostly retired African-American couples who spent most of their time at home sitting on the porch, watching the neighborhood. That and young gay landscape and garden designers who spent every fine hour working in their yards. Our neighbors were so vigilant that during my first month, an elderly gentleman came out of his house and scolded me for allowing my dog to poop on the parking strip.

    Ah, but remember Karl Rove; conservatives don’t need to acknowledge reality because they create reality.

    Let them have the reins of power, and that neighborhood will become a complete slum replete with gangs roaming the streets undeterred (since the privatized Blackwater police are all busy guarding the gated communities in the nicer parts of town).

  382. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:08

    since the privatized Blackwater police are all busy guarding the gated communities in the nicer parts of town

    In fairness, the tips are better.

  383. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:08

    VS–glad to know you’re kosher.

  384. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:12

    It’s not like we haven’t been building Ground Zeros near mosques since 2003…

    I’ve read those. The PJTVer’s response is “SO WHY DO THEY NEED ANOTHER?”

    Now me, I drove from DC to Kentucky for the Fourth of July and I remember passing through more than one small town where all the buildings taller than two stories were definitely churches. Popping out of the ground like daisies, despite the fact that any one of them, alone, could probably have seated the entire population of the town.

    Why do the hajjis need another? Probably for the same reason those towns needed more churches than they had people…

  385. Snarki, child of Loki said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:13

    You forgot the HomoCon Ball in the evening.

    Furry costumes mandatory.

    And don’t forget the special HomoCon Ball badges, with their “SkunkFucker for Jesus” logo.

  386. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:16

    VS–glad to know you’re kosher.

    Marshmallow and adamantium are kosher? I had no idea!

  387. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:16

    Is it considered bad form to take a nap in your boss’s office while she’s at a meeting?

  388. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:18

    Is it considered bad form to take your pants off for a dentist appointment?

  389. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:19

    Is it considered bad form to take your pants off for a dentist appointment?

    I always did but then I dated my dentist

  390. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:19

    Is it considered bad form to take your pants off for a dentist appointment?

    No, as long as you’re getting your vagina dentata checked for cavities.

  391. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:20

    The eighties almost killed me. Let’s not recall them quite so fondly.

    They gave birth to me, and my two favorite bands (Queen and the Scorpions) thrived during that era. In addition, it was a great era for Star Wars nerds, which also gave us all three (yes, three) Indiana Jones movies, the peak of Star Trek (the TOS movie series), and a lot of other weird but good stuff like Back to the Future. An era that produced these things can’t be all bad, despite Mr. Reagan’s best efforts.

    Speaking of movies, that was also an age when Greedo hadn’t yet shot first.

  392. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:25

    Speaking of movies, that was also an age when Greedo hadn’t yet shot first.

    Truly, he is a Star Wars nerd.

  393. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:28

    Truly, he is a Star Wars nerd.

    Incurably so, but I actually liked the prequels too, which puts me beyond the pale for many of my fellow nerds.

  394. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:29

    Also, My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. Too.

    Oh, and Fraggle Rock!

  395. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:29

    No, as long as you’re getting your vagina dentata checked for cavities.

    I have TEETH in my vagina? That explains why so many people think I’m a castrating bitch.

  396. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:30

    I actually liked the prequels too

    If I can ignore Anakin, I like the story lines, myself. But Hayden Christensen ruined the movies for me. Qui Gon may be my favorite character of all six flicks.

  397. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:30

    I have TEETH in my vagina?

    Mind if we check?

  398. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:30

    And Danger Mouse, of course.

    And The Smiths and REM and Echo and the Bunnymen and the Talking Heads…yeah, it was a good decade, despite all the shit.

  399. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:31

    Incurably so, but I actually liked the prequels too, which puts me beyond the pale for many of my fellow nerds.

    I’m not a nerd (at least, a Star Wars nerd), but I prefer to pretend those movies don’t even exist.

  400. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:34

    If I can ignore Anakin, I like the story lines, myself. But Hayden Christensen ruined the movies for me. Qui Gon may be my favorite character of all six flicks.

    Definitely in the first three, with Obi Wan a close second.

    The quality of anything improves dramatically when Liam Neeson’s onboard… speaking of which, the A-Team would be another staple of the eighties.

  401. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:35

    MTV, when the “M” meant something.

  402. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:36

    MTV, when the “M” meant something.

    It was like that until the mid- to late- 90s. I blame The Real World.

    Incidentally, I think the 90s were pretty great in a lot of ways, too.

  403. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:39

    Is it considered bad form to take your pants off for a dentist appointment?

    Watch the first two minutes of Movie, Movie

  404. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:40

    Incidentally, I think the 90s were pretty great in a lot of ways, too.

    I was a responsible adult so the only great thing about the 90s was eight years of peace and prosperity under Clinton.

  405. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:42

    I was a responsible adult so the only great thing about the 90s was eight years of peace and prosperity under Clinton.

    I was a poorly-dressed, miserable teenager most of the time, so it may have only been that good in retrospect.

  406. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:44

    But, god, I DID NOT KNOW how bad things could get…fucking threatening to vote for Nader and shit. Idiot.

  407. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:46

    I was a poorly-dressed, miserable teenager most of the time, so it may have only been that good in retrospect.

    And over here, a definitely not responsible kid who wouldn’t become a teenager until early in the next decade. No, I agree. The nineties were good times.

  408. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:46

    Although, your nineties sound like some of my 2000s.

  409. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:46

    poorly-dressed, miserable teenager

    Redundant department of redundant redundancies department.

  410. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:47

    Although, your nineties sound like some of my 2000s.

    Redundant department of redundant redundancies department.

    There ya go!

  411. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:48

    poorly-dressed, miserable teenager

    Redundant department of redundant redundancies department.

    Really!

    I mean, at least you kids in the 90s didn’t have Huckapoo shirts and Qiana to deal with.

  412. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:50

    I mean, at least you kids in the 90s didn’t have Huckapoo shirts and Qiana to deal with.

    I have no idea what this is.

    We did have flannel, though. And I wondered why people thought I was a lesbian…

  413. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:50

    The Sixties. That was the decade.

  414. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:51

    I mean, at least you kids in the 90s didn’t have Huckapoo shirts and Qiana to deal with.

    Yeah… about the eighties. What was with the fashions?

  415. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:51

    “We did have flannel, though. And I wondered why people thought I was a lesbian…”

    Did you play softball?

  416. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:51

    Qiana. And leisure suits, altho thankfully in NYC, they never really caught on.

  417. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:52

    Qiana shirt

  418. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:52

    The Sixties. That was the decade.

    My mother (1952) would agree with you. Fact, in 5,000 years of history most of which she’s studied to some greater or lesser extent, she couldn’t think of a single era she’d have liked to live in more than her own.

  419. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:52

    Did you play softball?

    Not in the 90s, no. I just listened to a lot of Nirvana and wore clothes that didn’t fit. I was more of a dork (WHAT???) than anything, really.

  420. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:52

    Qiana bathing suit

  421. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:53

    Yeah… about the eighties. What was with the fashions?

    I liked skinny ties and unstructured jackets, tho.

  422. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:54

    Qiana shirt

    Ah ha. Actually, those gained a resurgence when I was in high school because thrift store shopping was starting to be cool. I never had any of those, but I did have my fair share of little boys’ t-shirts and old man pants.

  423. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:54

    Like I said… what happened, man?

  424. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:55

    Chris, I am officially as old as your mom. I, too, was born in 1952.

  425. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:56

    Like I said… what happened, man?

    John Hughes happened, man, and they went fucking lamestream.

    Also, leggings and sweatbands. That was the death of 80s fashion.

  426. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:57

    Chris, I am officially as old as your mom. I, too, was born in 1952.

    Congratulations.

    You’re younger than my dad (1951), if that’ll make you feel better about the old farthood.

  427. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:57

    Like I said… what happened, man?

    A lot of 50s revival shit along with some avant garde stuff and the overall exuberance and hyper-optimistic nature of the Reagan era.

  428. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 20:59

    John Hughes happened, man, and they went fucking lamestream

    I think I may be the only person in the world (at least in my age group) who never really cared for John Hughes.

  429. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:01

    I ain’t telling when i was born.

  430. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:01

    I also laughed hysterically during that radio scene in Say Anything the first time I saw it at 15 or 16, which PISSED my best friend off SO MUCH.

  431. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:03

    The 80s were a decade when you could see a concert poster that said “The Pretenders with Simple Minds” and know it was two bands, one good and one bad.

  432. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:05

    “The Pretenders with Simple Minds” and know it was two bands, one good and one bad.

    …and not a Teabagger meeting.

  433. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:06

    I miss the casual sex.

    I think. I think I miss the drugs. Altho I didn’t miss them much in the 80s.

    I don’t think. I don’t remember. Most of that wing of my memory burned out at a Dead concert.

  434. No-Visible-Means said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:06

    1954 here.
    Let me show you my cave drawings.

  435. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:08

    1954 here.
    Let me show you my cave drawings.

    Woodcarvings.

    1957 here. We couldn’t possibly have evolved that quickly from cave drawings to etchings on canvas.

  436. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:09

    My etchings were on a Big Chief Tablet. We were poor.

  437. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:11

    My etchings were on a Big Chief Tablet.

    Did you know that they stopped making those a few years ago? That made me sad.

  438. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:11

    My etchings were on a Big Chief Tablet. We were poor.

    HAH! Looxury. My first etchings were tattooed on a cockroach.

  439. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:14

    I made my own paper out of mouse turds.

  440. Lurking Canadian said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:14

    One day I was jogging in tonier part of my neighborhood and this one house had dogs loose in the front yard.

    If Dante were writing today, he’d need to add a new layer just for the people who leave their dogs off the leash in the front lawn to terrorize passing joggers and cyclists. That shit is scary.

    The only time I’ve ever contemplated obtaining a handgun was following a run-in with my neighbour’s Rottweiler, who ran all the way across his 200 ft lawn and out into the middle of the street to work some alpha-male bullshit out with me, all because I had the gall to jog past his turf at roughly 12km/hr.

  441. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:15

    I made my own paper out of mouse turds.

    At least you had paper. We used to have to etch in the air and hope the doost would fall to the ground the right way.

  442. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:18

    At least you had paper. We used to have to etch in the air and hope the doost would fall to the ground the right way.

    Yeah, but I got hantavirus at least 6 times.

    (For some reason, “doost” keeps making me giggle).

  443. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:18

    Her boyfriend eventually went “OK, WTF?” about the neighborhoods she was crossing off as unsafe even though the maps showed they were perfectly fine, and her reasoning was that it might be safe for them but that as a white blonde girl she’d stand out as a target. It was sort of mind-boggling; apparently, black people who’ve controlled their criminal urges for their entire life simply can’t restrain them in the presence of a white person.

    Where are all da white women at?

  444. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:19

    Yeah, but I got hantavirus at least 6 times.

    Only six? Why, I got et tha’ many times from the testing lab alone!

  445. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:20

    Where are all da white women at?

    Mind if we dance wif yo dates?

  446. tsam said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:20

    The only time I’ve ever contemplated obtaining a handgun was following a run-in with my neighbour’s Rottweiler, who ran all the way across his 200 ft lawn and out into the middle of the street to work some alpha-male bullshit out with me, all because I had the gall to jog past his turf at roughly 12km/hr.

    Pork, chocolate, any explosive diarrhea inducing food will do the trick…Certainly makes a nice calling card for irresponsible dog owners.

  447. vacuumslayer said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:21

    “The only time I’ve ever contemplated obtaining a handgun was following a run-in with my neighbour’s Rottweiler, who ran all the way across his 200 ft lawn and out into the middle of the street to work some alpha-male bullshit out with me, all because I had the gall to jog past his turf at roughly 12km/hr.”

    I hear ya. I was NOT HAPPY. Thought about reporting to Animal Control.

  448. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:22

    Qiana

    Oh, sweet Jesus, Actor… You just had to remind me, didn’t you? I was working for DuPont in PR when that shit was being flogged. Oh, the misery…

  449. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:22

    Pork, chocolate, any explosive diarrhea inducing food will do the trick

    If you make it propulsive diarrhea, you can hook up your bicycle.

  450. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:23

    I was working for DuPont in PR when that shit was being flogged. Oh, the misery…

    Yea, but did you have to wear it????

    And to think, it was designed for high fashion uses….

  451. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:24

    There’s no way that stuff breathed at ALL. Sounds horrible.

  452. No-Visible-Means said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:24

    they stopped making those a few years ago

    You will have to settle for one of these.
    http://skreened.com/swearjarinc/big-chief-tablet

  453. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:24

    Where are all da white women at?

    Ah, well played. It had to be said.

  454. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:25

    You will have to settle for one of these.

    Racist.

  455. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:26

    Yea, but did you have to wear it????

    And to think, it was designed for high fashion uses….

    Didn’t have to wear it, but they kept trying to get us to. It had all the breathability of a plastic garbage bag.

  456. stogoe said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:27

    the peak of Star Trek

    We may have to agree to disagree, because TNG and DS9 are just as good if not better than the Wrath of Khan – Search for Spock – Voyage Home Trilogy (which are in fact the only TOS movies that count).

  457. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:28

    Didn’t have to wear it, but they kept trying to get us to. It had all the breathability of a plastic garbage bag.

    It also never absorbed sweat so you could wear it all night and while you’d be dripping like a pig, your clothes still looked great across a crowded dance floor.

  458. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:31

    Actor, do you remember what the pleather product DuPont came up with was called? I was younger then but my mother, who worked for DuPont when I was a kid, brought home shoes made out of the stuff. Absolutely ghastly.

  459. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:31

    It’s only 3:00 here. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

  460. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:32

    It also never absorbed sweat so you could wear it all night and while you’d be dripping like a pig, your clothes still looked great across a crowded dance floor.

    1980 shortered.

  461. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:32

    Actor, do you remember what the pleather product DuPont came up with was called?

    Many naughas died for your couch.

  462. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:33

    Oh, Christ, at one point they even tried making roller skates out of nylon. I’m not making this up, you know… Those things were FABULOUS, until a grain of dust got anywhere near the (ball bearings, I think?) inside the wheels at which point the wheel she no longer turned…

  463. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:34

    Oh, Christ, at one point they even tried making roller skates out of nylon.

    WTF?

  464. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:35

    Oh, Christ, at one point they even tried making roller skates out of nylon.

    Nylon wheels. I had a pair of those. Quiet as a church mouse, but if they got wet, you never skated again.

  465. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:36

    Corfam. That’s what the pleather was called. Horrid.

  466. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:36

    Corfam

    Gesundheit.

  467. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:37

    So you didn’t mean Naughahyde?

  468. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:37

    I mean, I remember when haute kitchen design called for melamine chairs, but what do I know? I didn’t start the fire.

  469. Anonymous said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:38

    i guess this means that craigslist will be hitting hard after meetings are done for the day like they were in dc with CPAC…(yes its true…look at any major conservative event and then look at craigslist in that area…the closet is hilarious.

  470. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:40

    I mean, I remember when haute kitchen design called for melamine chairs, but what do I know?

    There are worse things. They’re easy to clean and not as ugly as vinyl-coated chairs.

  471. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:41

    We may have to agree to disagree, because TNG and DS9 are just as good if not better than the Wrath of Khan – Search for Spock – Voyage Home Trilogy (which are in fact the only TOS movies that count).

    I was not impressed by TNG, but I’ll agree on DS9. I liked that they started exploring the gray areas of TOS and TNG (especially TNG)’s utopia, I liked all the characters on the station (especially Garak), I preferred the Dominion to the Borg, and Dukat ties with Khan as best Star Trek villain ever.

    Still I prefer the six TOS movies, maybe because they’re more iconic or maybe just because they were my introduction to Star Trek. Agree to disagree, like you said.

  472. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:43

    Still I prefer the six TOS movies, maybe because they’re more iconic or maybe just because they were my introduction to Star Trek.

    ST:Generations will always hold a special place in my heart as the first Trek movie to evoke an emotional reaction that wasn’t “KILL THAT FUCKING KLINGON!” or some such.

  473. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:44

    “I made my own paper out of mouse turds.

    At least you had paper. We used to have to etch in the air and hope the doost would fall to the ground the right way.”

    We were so poor, I was limited to using stick figures for my etchings. Stick figures! And I could only use three sticks, cause, you know, I had to share with my sisters.

  474. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:46

    We were so poor, I was limited to using stick figures for my etchings.

    Kids these days. Try explaining that to them.

  475. N__B said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:46

    I made my own paper out of mouse turds

    You had mouse turds? We had to make do with roach turds.

  476. UKBristolDave said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:46

    God I miss the 90′s. Hardcore, techno, drum n bass. Great MDMA. Dancing all night. Old friends getting weirded out about how much I had changed overnight after getting into the scene. Great days…

  477. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:48

    Old friends getting weirded out about how much I had changed overnight after getting into the scene. Great days…

    You had friends? LOOXURY! We had to invent our own friends out of baling wire and mouse turds…

  478. smedley (old fart) said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:49

    What I would have given for baling wire and mouse turds…….

  479. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:49

    We had to make do with roach turds.

    You mean, “make doo”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I hate myself.

  480. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:51

    What I would have given for baling wire and mouse turds…….

    Did I say “baling wire”? I meant barbed wire that we can to steal ourselves from the prison.

  481. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:51

    Wow. Just wow. I can certainly understand when someone’s tweets are so poorly written to be incomprehensible, but read this quote spoken by Sarah Palin appearing on Fox News:

    “Nobody argues that freedom of religion the Muslims have to build that mosque somewhere however there are a 100 mosques already in New York to chose and be so adamant about this exact location just a block or two away from 9/11 is just that knife it feels like.”

    is she drunk? brain-damaged? Seriously, she’s worse than Bush.

    Takeaway from the story? Apparently there have been worship services going on in Park51 since 2009. No one cared then.

  482. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:51

    “can to”. Hm. Brian need reboat.

  483. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:52

    is just that knife it feels like

    Where the fuck did the “knife” part come from? What?

  484. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:54

    Where the fuck did the “knife” part come from? What?

    She was going to say “bomb” but she refudiated.

  485. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:54

    brain-damaged?

    Also, YOU STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG! Too.

  486. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:55

    It hurts mah branes. I’m pretty sure I’m more coherent when I talk in my sleep.

  487. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:56

    I’m pretty sure I’m more coherent when I talk in my sleep.

    I’ll let you know.

    Just as soon as I install the webcam.

  488. g said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:56

    Over on another story about Palin’s appearance, a commenter said something about how the “libs” are just afraid because Sarah “speaks truth to power.”

    Uh, no. Sarah speaks gibberish.

  489. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:57

    Seriously, she’s worse than Bush.

    I bet you never thought you’d be saying that about anyone five years ago.

    And yes she is. And can we stop this fucking bullshit about how “oh we recognize their right to freedom of religion, we just wish they wouldn’t exercise it”? There’s a Republican candidate running in New York right now who promised to use eminent domain to bulldoze the thing if he was elected. No, you don’t recognize their right.

    SWEET JEEBUS

  490. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:58

    however there are a 100 mosques already in New York

    And over half a million Muslims, you ignorant slut.

  491. Chris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:58

    Over on another story about Palin’s appearance, a commenter said something about how the “libs” are just afraid because Sarah “speaks truth to power.”

    Truth like “I said no to the bridge to nowhere and I thank God that the commission that just found me guilty found me innocent”? Dumb bloody bitch…

  492. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 21:59

    I bet you never thought you’d be saying that about anyone five years ago.

    Right? This scares me. Could it actually get worse?

  493. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:00

    Just as soon as I install the webcam.

    What makes you think I won’t notice it like the last 8 you put in?

  494. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:01

    Sarah “speaks truth to power.”

    I heard the English language is about to engage in The Stockholm Syndrome and give up.

  495. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:01

    What makes you think I won’t notice it like the last 8 you put in?

    Misdirection. I’m putting it in your neighbor’s house, but pointing at your window.

  496. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:05

    Misdirection. I’m putting it in your neighbor’s house, but pointing at your window.

    So…I should check under the bed again.

  497. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:12

    So…I should check under the bed again.

    Silly! What good would a cam *under* the bed be???

  498. 77south said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:15

    What makes you think I won’t notice it like the last 8 you put in?
    Because he actually installed 12.

  499. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:16

    Silly! What good would a cam *under* the bed be???

    I don’t know. You put it there.

  500. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:16

    Because he actually installed 12.

    Your subscription is cancelled and I’m NOT refunding your money.

  501. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:16

    Because he actually installed 12.

    Oh.

  502. tigris said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:17

    Over on another story about Palin’s appearance, a commenter said something about how the “libs” are just afraid because Sarah “speaks truth to power.”

    Uh, no. Sarah speaks gibberish.

    Well, yeah, but that’s scary, too, like getting hustled by an incoherent, scabby crackhead.

  503. 77south said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:19

    Your subscription is cancelled and I’m NOT refunding your money.
    T&U is so last week. The real action is over at the Smut Clyde hidden web cam feed. It’s not quite porn, not quite reality TV, not quite snuff video, but some really entertaining combination of the 3.

  504. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:20

    T&U is so last week

    HEY.

    That hurt my feelings.

  505. 77south said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:21

    HEY.

    That hurt my feelings.
    If it makes you feel any better, I was really entertained last week.

  506. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:24

    T&U is so last week

    Yea. That’s why you took the yearly auto renewal option…

  507. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:29

    So, am I going to get a cut of this, or what? Seems only fair.

  508. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:30

    So, am I going to get a cut of this, or what? Seems only fair.

    Stop removing my cams and we can negotiate.

  509. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:35

    *sigh*

    Well, I suppose if I can’t do anything about it, I might as well make some money.

  510. actor212 said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:36

    Well, I suppose if I can’t do anything about it, I might as well make some money.

    By the way, could you loosen that button? Yes, the third one down….

  511. Smut Clyde said,

    August 17, 2010 at 22:41

    Do butterflies shit? Actually, do butterflies eat?

    Moths live on human tears, though they prefer elephant tears.

  512. Smut Clyde said,

    August 17, 2010 at 23:05

    Also, blood-drinking moths.

  513. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    August 18, 2010 at 3:44

    Do butterflies shit?

    Close enough.

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()