11
Moobzilla vs. Mosquethra: The Battle For Lower Manhattan
ABOVE: The Three Faces of Eew
It was only a matter of time before Hugh Hewitt weighed in on the controversy over Cordoba House, and, boy, was it worth the wait. Pretending that he and he alone has discovered the ultimate arguments to demolish the Muslim-loving liberals, he throws down on the table two deliciously absurd arguments — well, three really, if you count his claim that Ground Zero is “sacred ground” just like the Gettysburg Battlefield and should not be encroached by any development — without realizing, of course, that he’s implicitly calling for razing everything in Manhattan.
The other two arguments are what I would call double flea flicker reverse strawmen. In a normal strawman, the writer demolishes an imaginary argument. In a double flea flicker reverse strawman, the imaginary argument does the demolishing. Serious scholars refer to this rhetorical tactic as an argumentum ad sparkleponium, or an appeal to a mythical race of creatures or a non-existent phenomenon.
To attempt to rebut the notion that those opposing the Cordoba House aren’t religious bigots, Hugh offers up his first example of the argumentum ad sparkleponium.
It is a certainty that many among the overwhelming majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location in Manhattan, a location not chosen to exploit the fact that an attack on America took place where the mosque was built.
Show me the money, Hugh! Show me the money! And the sparkle ponies.
He follows up with an even more awesome argumentum ad sparkleponium
Those same overwhelming majorities would oppose a Roman Catholic cathedral on the same site.
And Hugh Hewitt will appear in the next Old Spice campaign stripped to the waist and riding a white pony.
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:02
I heard the pony will be riding him, but whatever.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:05
The best part of Hewitt’s column, for me:
Once built, of course, no house of worship may be regulated as to what is said or prayed from within its walls…
Yes, if prayers are said too close to Ground Zero, they could be…what? Too effective?
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:05
What do the battlefields surrounding Manassas, Antietam, Gettysburg and Valley Forge all have in common?
With the exception of Valley Forge, battles were fought there.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:07
Do you think these people ever had any problem with Walmart building stores over sacred Native burial grounds?
Oblio's Cap said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:11
Saving America’s sacred spaces from those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been the side of the angels.
So it’s constitutional? Where is that written in the document?
I guess the site is sacred because the Twin towers were temples to the greatest God of all – Money.
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:17
Those same overwhelming majorities would oppose a Roman Catholic cathedral on the same site.
But they are ALL FOR a gay bar built there.
Progressive Center-left Grrrl Voice of Truth said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:19
I’m too distracted by the moobs to make much of a coherent point. But, to recap, building a community center two blocks away is not allowed because it profanes sacred ground. Presumably the strip club/porkateria that Jo-berg proposed is a more numinous use of the space.
Progressive Center-left Grrrl Voice of Truth said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:19
Fucking tigris. Got there first.
J— said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:20
The Founding Fathers would not approve.
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:22
Saving America’s sacred spaces from those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been the side of the angels.
Stop logging our old growth forests!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:23
Those same overwhelming majorities would oppose a Roman Catholic cathedral on the same site.
But…But….But…there’s a Greek Orthodox cathedral that is actually AT Ground Zero that’s rebuilding is stuck in red tape! Is Hugetits suggesting they ought to be denied?
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:23
Stop logging our old growth forests!
If we do that, the red-cockaded woodpeckers win.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:24
majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location
Last I checked they were talking about writing checks to build a gay bar next door to the “mosque”, and they’re not even really going to do that.
Sipp E. Cupp said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:24
That middle picture reminds me that bumbles bounce
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:25
BTW, Hugh, three words: Crest. White. Strips.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:26
It is a certainty that many among the overwhelming majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location in Manhattan, a location not chosen to exploit the fact that an attack on America took place where the mosque was built.
This does not change the fact that we have a First Amendment in our Constitution, that the building to be purchased and demolished is private property and that the imam is not relying on a dime, not one thin dime, of public money for construction, meaning that this is wholly a capitalist venture, so shut the fuck up and let them get on with it.
Plus, “overwhelming majority”? I think not.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:27
Could someone photoshop that guys teeth a little closer to white? that hideous orange color is really freaking me out.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:28
Saving America’s sacred spaces from those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been the side of the angels.
Um, don’t look now, Skippy, but SCOTUS disagrees with you…
By the way, how is a space 600 feet away from the Trade Center “sacred”? That’s like saying the gift shop at Gettysburg is somehow equivalent to the battlefield itself.
Aldorossi said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:29
Ew. That jogging photo almost made me lose my breakfast. Hugh “Greg Marmelard” Hewitt may posess the least athletic physique in human history.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:30
Could someone photoshop that guys teeth a little closer to white? that hideous orange color is really freaking me out.
The really weird bit about that is, that’s make up. He’s trying to imitate Kent from Real Genius
I guess conservatives really DO believe that dentistry is theft…
Tom Allen said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:30
So I came back from my high school 25th reunion and now there’s this huge to-do about Cordoba House. I don’t get it. Why all the hating on a Chrylser luxury coupe?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:31
That son of a bitch is full of more shit than a Christmas turkey.
I’ve been reading the right wing blogosphere for days looking at the comments people make about this mosque. EVERY ONE OF THEM objects on the grounds that the mosque is a mosque, belonging to the Islamic religion, which is the religion of terrorists, which is responsible for bringing down the Twin Towers in the first place. No, it’s not an objection to “religion” in general; yes, it’s an objection to Islam. Have the guts to own up to the bigotry of your own people.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:31
That son of a bitch is full of more shit than a Christmas turkey.
Ew. Remind me not to eat Christmas dinner at your house…
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:32
Plus, “overwhelming majority”? I think not.
It seems there’s a principle at work – maybe we need another Latin “argumentum ad x” construction for this – that the bigger the majority appealed to, the horseshittier the claim.
e.g. “vast majority” = horseshit
“overwhelming majority” = super-duper horseshit
etc.
J— said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:38
Why all the hating on a Chrylser luxury coupe?
Explained here.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:38
that the bigger the majority appealed to, the horseshittier the claim.
Isn’t that just the “Big Lie” gambit? Well-worn, used often, and kept at the fore of the Wingnut rhetorical quiver.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:40
EVERY ONE OF THEM objects on the grounds that the mosque is a mosque, belonging to the Islamic religion, which is the religion of terrorists, which is responsible for bringing down the Twin Towers in the first place.
They hate the idea so much, they’re lobbying for the banning of all mosquitoes from Ground Zero.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:49
So, question. Do these people poop their pants every time they see a Muslim?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:50
Isn’t that just the “Big Lie” gambit?
Kind of, but it’s more ham-handed. The Big Lie just involves lying, not necessarily invoking imaginary majorities of people who support the lie.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:55
Another question: Is Glenn Beck doing that 9/12 shit again this year? Because that’s my birthday, and it’s going to suck enough as it is. I don’t need fascists and idiots to fuck it up.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:56
Do these people poop their pants every time they see a Muslim?
These people never see Muslims.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:58
These people never see Muslims.
Seriously? My friend from high school is Muslim and I’m from a town of 12,000 people. She doesn’t cover her hair, but her mother does.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:58
“Once built, of course, no house of worship may be regulated as to what is said or prayed from within its walls, just as no billboard can be regulated as to its content.”
Probably not an original construction by Hewitt, but watch in the coming days as this meme is used to try to deflect Freedom of Religion arguments. Of course, it fails on many levels. When has that ever kept a good right-wing meme down?
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:00
Wait–so a religious structure (to the extent that this project is religious; isn’t it more of a social gathering hall?) two football fields from the site is a desecration, but a big honkin’ OFFICE BUILDING built directly ON the site is an act of defiant patriotism and commemoration?
I keep saying, about Hewitt and the rest of the freak show, “crazy, or stupid?” But why can’t it be both?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:01
Because that’s my birthday
Your 21st birthday must have been a laugh riot.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:01
just as no billboard can be regulated as to its content.
Oh really? Odd. Y’know, I could have sworn that at least four billboards have been banned in the past year alone in NYC alone…
Maybe I was mistaken. I’m sure Hugetits knows more about my city than I, an active and politically aware resident of some 53 years, would know…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:03
Your 21st birthday must have been a laugh riot.
Oh, yes. I had a crazy, wild time sitting in the bar watching footage of planes crashing into the towers over and over again. Believe it or not, nobody was really interested in going out.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:03
I, an active and politically aware resident of some 53 years,
So, were you politically aware in the cradle or are you on Social Security?
DrDick said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:05
They only oppose the Catholic cathedral, because they want to build an Evangelical Glass Cathedral there, like they have in California.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:07
People who worship in glass cathedrals shouldn’t throw stones. But they’re dumb enough that they do.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:07
This was, mind you, four days after Boyfriend T&U had an insane night at the bar where they wouldn’t let me in and then was dropped off at my place for some reason and passed out on my bed snoring, so I had to sleep on the floor.
Angry Geometer said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:07
Saving America’s sacred spaces from those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been the side of the angels.
So it’s constitutional? Where is that written in the document?
He thinks it’s constitutional because of the Endangered Species Act.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:08
He thinks it’s constitutional because of the Endangered Species Act.
You made that up!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:08
So, were you politically aware in the cradle or are you on Social Security?
I was precocious. I came out yelling at Robert Wagner.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:08
majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location
I know – Moobzilla should set up one of those paypal links with the thermometer showing how much he’s raised, get these “GZM” opposers to pony up – a token amount, say $100K.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:08
so I had to sleep on the floor
Candyass liberal….
J— said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:08
isn’t it more of a social gathering hall?
Plus swimming pool!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:09
He thinks it’s constitutional because of the Endangered Species Act.
It’s true. Rich white businessmen are an endangered species on FUCKING WALL STREET!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:10
Candyass liberal….
For whining about sleeping on the floor, or not making him sleep on the floor? I had a twin bed and he’s heavy.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:10
I’ve been sitting here wondering how I missed on learning what bugfuck-insane shit “GZM” stands for and then I realized it’s “Ground Zero Mosque” and now my egg-salad sandwich is trying to come back up.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:10
to the extent that this project is religious; isn’t it more of a social gathering hall?
The mosque makes the building as religious as a chapel makes a hospital a house of faith.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:10
Yesterday on Fox, Judge Napolitano was trying to explain to Bill Hemmer that a law cannot usurp the Constitution………..
Another good day for Trig.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:11
Candyass liberal….
For whining about sleeping on the floor, or not making him sleep on the floor? I had a twin bed and he’s heavy.
It’s a compliment. He’s picturing your cushion whilst floor-sleeping.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:11
For whining about sleeping on the floor, or not making him sleep on the floor? I had a twin bed and he’s heavy.
They make a great thud when you roll them off the mattress. I ought to know.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:11
Oh Jeezus, J– at first I thought that was serious.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:11
I’ve been sitting here wondering how I missed on learning what bugfuck-insane shit “GZM” stands for and then I realized it’s “Ground Zero Mosque” and now my egg-salad sandwich is trying to come back up.
If you try to pronounce it like a word, it kind of sounds like “jism.” Heh.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:12
Current headline on Huffpo: “Bush Visits Mango Factory in Haiti.”
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:12
Another good day for Trig.
So that’s what its come down to? Every time a wingnut says something stupid, another retard gets a helmet?
Willy said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:12
he throws down on the table two deliciously absurd arguments
What goes good with deliciously absurd arguments? I believe the correct choice is Sweet Wingnut Tears.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:12
“I had a twin bed and he’s heavy”
Mental note: T&U is a chubby chaser.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:13
These people never see Muslims.
Seriously?
Well, maybe occasionally out the windows of their Suburbans.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:14
They make a great thud when you roll them off the mattress. I ought to know.
Yes, well, I’m just too nice for my own good.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:14
Mental note: T&U is a chubby chaser.
Uh, not so much…
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:15
Current headline on Huffpo: “Bush Visits Mango Factory in Haiti.”
I think I have a clue to Haiti’s troubles…
Angry Geometer said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:15
Yesterday on Fox, Judge Napolitano was trying to explain to Bill Hemmer that a law cannot usurp the Constitution………..
I’m an amendment to be.
Yes, an amendment to be.
And I’m hoping that they’ll ratify me
There’s a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom.
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat ‘em.
‘Cause there’s limits to our liberties.
‘Least I hope and pray that there are.
‘Cause those liberal freaks go too far.
Boy: But why can’t we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment-to-be: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution…
Boy: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment-to-be: Now you’re catching on.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:17
This is why the Japanese didn’t rebuild Nagasaki after the war. Sacred space and all that.
What’s that you say?
I wonder what the Japanese translation of the Aramaic word for “dhimmi” is.
J— said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:17
at first I thought that was serious
You gotta be on your toes with that Bérubé dude.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:25
“I wonder what the Japanese translation of the Aramaic word for “dhimmi” is.”
N?Ä?T??Ç
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:28
N?Ä?T??Ç
Do I have to make that tongue click on the ?s?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:29
Do I have to make that tongue click on the ?s?
Only on the “!” or the dipthonic.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:30
dipthonic.
I’m wearing boxer briefs, actually.
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:31
If you try to pronounce it like a word, it kind of sounds like “jism.” Heh.
Actually, I keep scanning it as “gasm”, as in “ragegasm”
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:32
So that’s what its come down to? Every time a wingnut says something stupid, another retard gets a helmet?
I wish they would just get talk shows on Fox instead. I can visualize it already. This week on Lennie!, special guest George talks about the rabbits.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:33
I believe it’s pronounced: hewittsux
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:33
These people never see Muslims.
But there is still a lot of POOP.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:33
So that’s what its come down to? Every time a wingnut says something stupid, another retard gets a helmet?
If that were true, we’d be drowning in helmets.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:35
Anyone care to speculate on the nature of the literature in Hugh’s coat pocket?
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:35
“I’m wearing boxer briefs, actually”
And a belt AND suspenders?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:35
So that’s what its come down to? Every time a wingnut says something stupid, another retard gets a helmet?
Trig’s got a whole closet full of helmets. His mother is selling ‘em on Ebay. Autographed, too.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:36
Anyone care to speculate on the nature of the literature in Hugh’s coat pocket?
A guide to the local petting zoo.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:37
I’m wearing boxer briefs, actually.
Then no Ubangi for you.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:38
But there is still a lot of POOP.
As it says in the bible, the POOP is always with us.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:38
Anyone care to speculate on the nature of the literature in Hugh’s coat pocket?
The July 2008 edition of “Barely Legal.”
(There’s a pun in there, too)
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:41
The July 2008 edition of “Barely Legal.”
(There’s a pun in there, too)
I dunno. I’m pretty sure I read that one cover to cover. I don’t remember seeing any puns.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:43
I’m sure you told Mrs. Lurker you only get it for the articles.
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:43
For whining about sleeping on the floor, or not making him sleep on the floor? I had a twin bed and he’s heavy.
They make a great thud when you roll them off the mattress. I ought to know.
“Yesterday, I caught my girlfriend in bed with another man. I was crushed. I said “Get off me, you two”" – Emo Phillips
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:44
So that’s what its come down to? Every time a wingnut says something stupid, another retard gets a helmet?
Those poor retards are going to need neck braces pretty quick.
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:46
Athlete. Outdoorsman. Scholar. Hugh Hewitt: The Least Interesting Man in the World.
The World's Least Interesting Man said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:49
Athlete. Outdoorsman. Scholar. Hugh Hewitt: The Least Interesting Man in the World.
I don’t often drink beer, but when I do, I drink turpentine. Stay stupid, my friends.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:50
“Athlete. Outdoorsman. Scholar. Hugh Hewitt: The Least Interesting Man in the World”
He doesn’t always drink beer. But when he does, he makes it Ovaltine.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:52
This is obviously a pop culture reference I am not understanding.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:53
No Dos Equis distributor in Missouri?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:53
T&U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bc0WjTT0Ps
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:55
I aspire to be the most interesting man in the world. Right now I am up to “the most interesting man in a 5′ radius, unless I’m talking to someone more interesting”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:56
No Dos Equis distributor in Missouri?
Nah, I’m just one of those snobby “I don’t watch TV” types. I mean, I do, but not TV with commercials.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:56
Right now I am up to “the most interesting man in a 5? radius
See what not using deodorant can do for you?
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:56
Saving America’s sacred spaces from those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been the side of the angels.
Which is why they have prevented all those indian burial mounds from being opened and looted.
Which is why they built a highway through the Petroglyph National Monument.
I know, I know… “Thats not the same because SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE UP”
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:57
I’m the most interesting man on Saturn.
Don’t believe me? PROVE ME WRONG!
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:58
“Right now I am up to “the most interesting man in a 5? radius, unless I’m talking to someone more interesting”
Aspire to be the most interesting man with a 5″ radius. Though I’m not exactly what you would do with it.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 17:58
Aspire to be the most interesting man with a 5? radius. Though I’m not exactly what you would do with it.
I wrote a book about that…
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:00
I wrote a book about that…
a book of etchings perhaps?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:01
I wrote a book about that…
a book of etchings perhaps?
Exactamundo.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:03
I’m the most interesting man on Saturn.
Don’t believe me? PROVE ME WRONG!
Bah. Big deal. You bought the title from Boring McBoring…
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:04
Aspire to be the most interesting man with a 5? radius.
With Dr. Pezzi’s help you could be The Most Interesting Man in a 7″ radius. Money Back Guarantee, too.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:06
With Dr. Pezzi’s help you could be The Most Interesting Man in a 7? radius. Money Back Guarantee, too.
*waterspit*
Fuck. I just finished paying off the last keyboard…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:10
Fuck. I just finished paying off the last keyboard…
Good Lord, are you using diamond-encrusted keyboards or something?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:12
Good Lord, are you using diamond-encrusted keyboards or something?
No, I just have a zero interest credit card.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:12
Good Lord, are you using diamond-encrusted keyboards or something?
you have to remember, he’s in finance. So, yes.
creature said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:12
Saving America’s sacred spaces for those who would exploit them for gain of any sort is not only constitutional, it has always been on the side of the angels
Fuxxed for veracity’s sake!.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:16
Fuck. I just finished paying off the last keyboard…
Yay, ME!
I’d advise against getting a laptop. Just sayin’.
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:26
In a way, i’m glad Obama won the Presidency. Because now, Americans can see just how morally bankrupt and disastorous socialism is first hand. If McCain won the Presidency he would be just another moderate Republican like Bush pushing amnesty and using politically correct rules of engagement that would get our troops killed. Republicans would be even less popular than they were in 2008, and the tea party movements would cease to exist.
But now, with a full fledged socialist for President, Americans are returing in droves to their traditional values of limited government, national sovereingty, strong national defense and traditional morality. The Democrats can no longer hide behind their “moderate” facade or their “third way” propaganda. Americans will no longer buy into it. Republican support is now at an all time high. The tea parties have widespread national support. And the issue of illegal immigration is now finally in the center stage of debate with well over 70% of Americans supporting the Arizona position.
Yes it is a good thing that Obama won the Presidency. Now the American people can finally see the true colors, or more appropriately color of the Democrat party. RED!
owlbear1 said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:28
snicker
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:29
Psst, Steve, dude. Google Dr. Pezzi. He could help.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:31
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:26
That there is some awesome Kool-Aid, my friend.
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:33
He thinks it’s constitutional because of the Endangered Species Act.
He should move there and point out the scarcity of pygmy double-breasted abominable snowschmucks.
Snorghagen said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:34
Frederick the Great is gonna whoop Hugh Hewitt’s ass.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:36
Shorter Steve: It became necessary to destroy the Constitution in order to save it.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:37
But now, with a full fledged socialist for President, Americans are returing in droves to…traditional morality.
So that’s why I can’t get laid. DAMN YOU OBAMA!!
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:38
Americans are returing in droves to…traditional morality.
Whipping one’s male slaves before fucking one’s female slaves?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:39
Excuse me, raping not fucking. I accidentally euphemized.
A Retard said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:39
Thanks for the helmet, Steve!
Marion in Savannah said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:39
Is it just me or does that middle picture of Hugh look like somebody’s maiden aunt — you know the one. She never married, and had a “roommate” for 50 years…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:40
I accidentally euphemized.
I hate when that happens. So messy!
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:41
I need a distraction… Look, T&U, shiny boobs over there!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:44
Look, T&U, shiny boobs over there!
WHERE???
Angry Geometer said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:44
OK, which one of you regular commenters is secretly Ben Quayle?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:46
I am
Ben QuayleSparticusSpurticus.Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:47
he “just posted comments to try to drive some traffic.”
That is clearly the definition of a troll, not a regular. My money’s on Gary, although I’d have to look at the precise grammatical errors at “Dirty” to be sure.
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:48
As I recall Rush Limbaugh saying on his radio program in the months leading up to the 2008 Presidential election, “The Democrats are sowing the seed for their own eventual landslide defeat.” Limbaugh admonished us that this landslide defeat may not happen in 2008 but it will happen eventually.
Alas! That time has come! As any farmer will tell you, you reap what you sow. With Obama and the Democrats with their lowest approval ratings yet, and Republicans with the support of registered independents by a margin of more than 2 to 1, I cant help but think that Democrats landslide defeat that the King of Talk Radio predictated during those dark months draweth nigh.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:49
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:26
Welcome back, Gary/Troofus.
MarkusR said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:50
There once was a Conservative Republic. It consisted of 10 states. Each state would vote independently on a piece of clever writing to see who’s writing was the cleverest. Red-in-the-neck Billy wrote a fairly clever piece, only really triumphed by the fact that the only other entry was done by a recent immigrant from eastern Siberia. Immigrant that had almost completed the first tape in the magnificent “learn English is 8 weeks” course.
The votes were tallied, and Billy won 9 of the 10 states with 50.1% majorities in each state.
That night, the Vox Nevs service reported that vast majority of America–90%–voted Billy’s novel superior, further confirming the American Exceptionalism.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:50
Ooooh, does this mean Brandi will be here soon???
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:51
Alas! That time has come!
Bookmark this, libs!
predictated
Gary, is that you?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:52
I suppose some of you are going to want SparkleHelmets. Ben Quayle has one.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:52
Ooooh, does this mean Brandi will be here soon???
Can’t say but I’m day-dreaming about rum
mi.Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:52
Wow, Steve, your mastery of the -eth conjugation for the third person singular has convinced me that you are truly wise in all things.
I renounce my sinful, lefty past. I will henceforth embrace my inner selfish, racist asshole as the great god Limbaugh commands.
Steve, a few months ago said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:53
Bookmark it as many times as you want: either Pelosi will cancel the vote, or it will go down in flames, live on C-SPAN.
And then ObambiCare will be finally, mercifully dead. Much like Rasputin it has taken a long time and a lot of effort to finally kill, but we’re 99% there. Just takes nine votes to block it, liberals: nine votes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:54
I suppose some of you are going to want SparkleHelmets. Ben Quayle has one.
Can I have a pink one? No, red! No…wait…purple!
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:54
Ooooh, does this mean Brandi will be here soon???
Oh, I hope not. She’ll start with the Cheeto stains and I just had lunch.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:55
Wow, Steve, your mastery of the -eth conjugation for the third person singular has convinced me that he lisps.
Speech therapy is his friend.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:57
Can I have a pink one? No, red! No…wait…purple!
Take your pick. Take more than one. It’s not like there’s a shortage or anything…
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 18:59
Speaking of helmets (and Ben Quayle):
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/08/dan_quayle.html
Apple, tree, etc.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:00
Speaking of helmets (and Ben Quayle):
I can’t hear it, but he looks dead inside.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:01
What does dead inside sound like? Does ZRM have zombie-cam?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:01
Whoops. Don’t AHEM me Angry Geometer! Please don’t!
jim said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:02
Sad.
This appears to be a textbook case of argumentum ad oogabooga … it’s probably caused by those yellow teeth of his outgassing neurotoxic trace-elements into his brain while he sleeps. A dash of Javex mouthwash in the mornings & all will be well. Really puts the boots to the halitosis, too.
Shorter Steve: I used to be pretty ignorant about politics – but then I discovered that once you do enough meth, you understand EVERYTHING!
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:03
Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?
Well, I will risk being labeled a parody troll and tell you about my other idea to supplament the wall on the southern border. If I were President, I would have the Department of the Interior stock the Rio Grande with bull sharks. Bull Sharks are one of the most aggressive predators on the planet and they are capable of surviving equally well in both fresh and saltwater. Any wetbacks attempting to swim across the Rio Grande would make any easy dinner for a voracious bull shark.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:04
Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?
Of course! I bookmarked them!
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:07
MOAR!
http://www.quayleforcongress.com/
http://www.facebook.com/quayleforcongress?ref=search
Helmet City!
Marion in Savannah said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:09
Little Stevie obviously has no earthly idea how deep the Rio Grande is.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:10
Oh, good Lord. His site is all like, “We hired a graphic designer who didn’t know what the fuck (s)he was doing asked for a site like Obama’s.”
SAD.
Steffan said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:10
In a way, i’m glad the Second Reich was destroyed. Because now, Germans can see just how morally bankrupt and disastorous democracy is first hand. If the Kaisers had gone on ruling, they would be just another moderate conservative dynasty pushing tolerance for parasites and using politically correct rules of engagement that would get our troops killed.
But now, with a full fledged democratic government, Germans are returing in droves to their traditional values of national sovereignty, strong national defense and traditional morality. The democrats can no longer hide behind their “moderate” facade or their “social democratic” propaganda. Germans will no longer buy into it. NSDAP support is now at an all time high. Book burning rallies have widespread national support. And the issue of Jewish conspiracism is now finally in the center stage of debate with well over 70% of Germans supporting the Final Solution.
Yes it is a good thing that democracy was established in Germany. Now the German people can finally see the true colors, or more appropriately color of the democrat parties. RED!
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:11
“Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?”
Wait, what? Did you vandalize a wall or something? And then Posted pictures?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:12
Any wetbacks attempting to swim across the Rio Grande would make any easy dinner for a voracious bull shark.
That’ll go over well on the evening news the next time a beautiful white Arizonan American girl tries to go for a swim.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:12
Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?
“Thoughts on a wall” makes me think of that SNL digital short “Dick in a box”
Make of that what you will.
Looch, who may have a new obsession... said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:12
Oh my.
From his FB page.
But wait. Wasn’t his father from Indiana?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:12
Seriously, it’s fucking SHAMELESS. Do Republicans *EVER* have any original ideas of their own?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:14
the next time a beautiful white Arizonan American girl tries to go for a swim.
Some nubile cutie trying to escape JMcC’s clutches as he looks for wife number 3?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:15
Some nubile cutie trying to escape JMcC’s clutches as he looks for wife number 3?
He said “white,” not “orange.”
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:15
Before versus after…
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:18
“Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?”
No.
And since I can’t read Steve: does he address the salt water fish in fresh water issue?
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:18
Steve, it would be best to mount coaxial lasers on the heads of the sharks. Sharks are cool, but sharks with lasers are bitchin’.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:19
And since I can’t read Steve: does he address the salt water fish in fresh water issue?
Apparently, those sharks can swim in both.
I would have advocated crocodiles myself, but AMERICA can’t have that. Too
niggerAfrican.Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:19
Steve, it would be best to mount coaxial lasers on the heads of the sharks. Sharks are cool, but sharks with lasers are bitchin’.
Well, he’s got sea bass.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:20
I would have advocated crocodiles myself, but AMERICA can’t have that.
We have found a use for crocoducks and/or Octosharks.
Marion in Savannah said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:23
I would have advocated crocodiles myself, but AMERICA can’t have that. Too nigger African.
We’ve got an oversupply of good old Amurkan gators we’d be glad to share…
Marion in Savannah said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:23
As FSM is my witness, that strikethrough showed up in preview…
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:24
We’ve got an oversupply of good old Amurkan gators we’d be glad to share…
And one state south of you, there’s apparently an oversupply of pythons escaping from zoos. That could be fun too.
Willy said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:28
http://www.quayleforcongress.com/
wtf is it about Arizona that turns the wingnut crazee knob to 11?
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:29
And perhaps if we stopped diverting water for irrigation and drinking water, there would be enough water in the Rio Grande for those sharks to live. But oh yeah, the population of southern Colorado and New Mexico and Texas would dry up and blow away. Also the Rio Grande would be too deep to wade. So other than displacing and impoverishing millions of reliable republican voters, there’s no downside! I await all wingut pundits to acknowledge the superiority of my plan.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:32
Remember my thoughts on a wall along the southern border that I posted a few weeks ago, libs?
Dude, we don’t even remember what’s on TV tonight. Please tell me you don’t think you’re that fucking important, you insignificant piece of ant shit.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:34
This appears to be a textbook case of argumentum ad oogabooga …
I’m going to use that one.
you insignificant piece of ant shit
And that one.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:35
Ben Quayle for Congress?
Ben…Quayle? Ben QUAYLE?
Is that some new version of “Ben Dover? Does anyone know Ben Dover”?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:36
So other than displacing and impoverishing millions of reliable republican voters
which will all be the liberals’ fault for allowing the immigrants that caused Stevey to dream up this plan…
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:37
If I were President, I would have the Department of the Interior stock the Rio Grande with bull sharks.
Uhhhhh, the only problem is, while bull sharks (which I’ve dived with and they are not that aggressive to humans) can survive short forays into fresh water, they really do require sa
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:37
Sometimes when I read my own writing, I cry a little inside. I think I used to be smarter than this, and I wonder why I type things that are so obviously dumb.
But then I go back to Red State, and everyone is agreeing with me and I feel smart and I just whack off until my dick is orange from Cheeto residue. Fuck you guys.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:38
Is that some new version of “Ben Dover? Does anyone know Ben Dover”?
There were five in the bed and the little one said “Ben Dover, Ben Dover.”
And they all bent over and one fell out…
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:40
Uhhhhh, the only problem is, while bull sharks (which I’ve dived with and they are not that aggressive to humans) can survive short forays into fresh water, they really do require sa
I WAS TALKING HERE, WP!
While they can survive short periods in fresh water, they do require salt water or else they dehydrate.
You read that correct. A bullshark in fresh water urinates more than twenty times as much as a salt water bullshark.
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:41
A bullshark in fresh water urinates more than twenty times as much as a salt water bullshark.
And thats why I don’t drink water. More beer, please!
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:42
You read that correct. A bullshark in fresh water urinates more than twenty times as much as a salt water bullshark.
And in related news, unopened bottles of Corona Light are up to twenty times more common in freshwater than salt water.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:42
There were five in the bed and the little one said “Ben Dover, Ben Dover.”
And they all bent over and one fell out…
So Hugetits jammed it back in, Ben Dover, Ben Dover.
Most Interesting Bullshark In The World said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:42
And in related news, unopened bottles of Corona Light are up to twenty times more common in freshwater than salt water.
And thats why I don’t drink water. More beer, please!
Stay thirsty, my friends.
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:43
Well, I will risk being labeled a parody troll and tell you about my other idea to supplament the wall on the southern border. If I were President, I would have the Department of the Interior stock the Rio Grande with bull sharks. Bull Sharks are one of the most aggressive predators on the planet and they are capable of surviving equally well in both fresh and saltwater. Any wetbacks attempting to swim across the Rio Grande would make any easy dinner for a voracious bull shark.
At the risk of being labeled a parody troll, I’ll add to this otherwise great idea: Gay bull sharks, to teach the Mexican’s about good-old American tolerance. Gay bull sharks with lazers, because Americans like lazers. Gay bull sharks with lazers willing to toil in the fields for less money than Mexicans, because then we can hire gay bull sharks, and deny their gay bull shark boyfriends benefits, because we won’t allow gay bull shark marriage to be rammed down our throats, no-siree-bob.
Yep, that’s exactly what I would do.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:44
Yep, that’s exactly what I would do.
*waterspit*
Dammit!
PopeRatzo said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:44
Hewitt has bigger boobs than my first wife.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:46
Fucking shark kidneys, how do they work?
Doctorb said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:47
This non-mosque that’s not at “ground zero” reminds me a lot of another insufferably stupid RWNM talking point, i.e., not-Joe the not-plumber.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:49
Fucking shark kidneys, how do they work?
Apparently, either pretty good or in desperate need of Vesicare.
Looch, who may have a new obsession... said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:50
Ben…Quayle? Ben QUAYLE?
Ayup. Kinda gives ya a tingle, doesn’t it?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:52
Looch, who may have a new obsession… said
Say! Aren’t you that guy…you know…TAFKAL?
Not-steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:52
oops, forgot to change name back…
vacuumslayer said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:53
“I just whack off until my dick is orange from Cheeto residue. Fuck you guys.”
LULZ. also ewwwwww
The Ghost of Ricardo Montalbán said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:57
I am sure that once Mr Hewitt experiences the golden tone of the Cordoba’s AM radio while reclining on the soft Corinthian leather, he will change his mind. Let’s open a hand of friendship and love and brotherhood. That is my dream. I knew I’d never see it complete while I was still alive, but this ghost thing is, as the kids say, totally sweet.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:57
Well, at least we got the jerking off and the Cheeto residue out of the way…on the downside, I just had lunch.
Dhalgren said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:57
Hugh has access to Google Maps, right? He can see that St. Peter’s Roman Catholic Church is located on the very same corner where 4WTC once stood. St. Peter’s is approximately 500 feet closer to the WTC site than the proposed Muslim community center.
Map
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:57
Hugh has access to Google Maps, right? He can see that St. Peter’s Roman Catholic Church is located on the very same corner where 4WTC once stood. St. Peter’s is approximately 500 feet closer to the WTC site than the proposed Muslim community center.
Facts? HA!
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:58
on the downside, I just had lunch.
Hopefully not Cheetos.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 19:59
Hopefully not Cheetos.
No, I had those yesterday. I actually ate like a normal human being today.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:01
Hugh has access to Google Maps, right? He can see that St. Peter’s Roman Catholic Church is located on the very same corner where 4WTC once stood. St. Peter’s is approximately 500 feet closer to the WTC site than the proposed Muslim community center.
St Paul’s Cemetery is even closer.
justme said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:02
Also why Dresden is still a smoking hole. Such as.
And why there is no longer a port at Pearl Harbor.
—–
My first thought on finishing the article was “They need to change the headline to ‘A Very Good Day For Trig.’”
Damn you all.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:03
My first thought on finishing the article was “They need to change the headline to ‘A Very Good Day For Trig.’”
“Gettin’ Triggy Widdit”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:04
‘A Very Good Day For Trig.’”
That’s my band’s name. We do Weezer covers.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:06
St. Peter’s is approximately 500 feet closer to the WTC site than the proposed Muslim community center.
St. Peter’s is also the church that has displayed “The” “Miracle” “Cross,” otherwise known as a steel column with two stub beam connections that was found, miraculously, in the wreckage. Of course several thousand identical pieces of steel were found because the WTC 1 and 2 cores were full of those columns, but who am I to laugh hysterically at this?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:06
That’s my band’s name.
“Wave your helmet in the air like you just don’t care!”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:07
FUCK. I should have said that we do Helmet covers. WTF?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:07
That’s a line from “Short Bus Blues,” by the way.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:07
Of course several thousand identical pieces of steel were found because the WTC 1 and 2 cores were full of those columns
Standing straight up?
With the baby Jesus still attached?
HAH! I run rings around your logic!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:07
Of course several thousand identical pieces of steel were found because the WTC 1 and 2 cores were full of those columns, but who am I to laugh hysterically at this?
A person with an IQ over 65?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:08
With the baby Jesus still attached?
The Jews crucified a baby???!
They’re even more evil than I thought!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:09
The Jews crucified a baby???!
Every male baby. One tip at a time.
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:09
but who am I to laugh hysterically at this?
A horrible, horrible person who is going to HELL?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:09
The Jews crucified a baby???!
Of course not. Just nailed him there long enough to render the fat.
BlackBloc said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:09
You know, I can actually believe that the same people who oppose the ‘mosque’ at Ground Zero would oppose a Catholic church. That’s because they’re running around saying the Catholic church is the Whore of Babylon and only the 100 members of their particular evangelical subsect are REAL Christians.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:09
I have a gigantic bruise that is slowly fading and starting to look like the Virgin Mary.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:10
A horrible, horrible person who is going to HELL?
Well, duh.
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:10
“actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:03
My first thought on finishing the article was “They need to change the headline to ‘A Very Good Day For Trig.’”
“Gettin’ Triggy Widdit””
HEY PUSSY! HAHAHAHA YOU PUSSY!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:11
Of course not. Just nailed him there long enough to render the fat.
Oh, I thought they only ate Christian babies.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:12
That would be racist.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:13
Oh, I thought they only ate Christian babies.
After you eat the babies, you still need soap to wash the dishes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:13
That would be racist.
Jews are such liberals that they even practice affirmative action cannibalism!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:13
Oh, I thought they only ate Christian babies.
Well, yea! But like the Germans, they made soap out of the Jews.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:13
Here, Steve, have a helmet. It’s on me. You got a favorite color?
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:14
HEY ACTOR212 YOU’RE A PUSSY!
HAHAHAHA YOU PUSSY! I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:14
Steve, really…is that the best you got?
Come on, I grew up with mobsters. I’ve been threatened by experts. Even you, Helmetboy, can do better than this!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:16
You got a favorite color?
He doesn’t know. They haven’t done colors at school yet. Give him the red one–maybe he’ll mistake himself for a communist and kick his own ass.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:17
Well, I’m a little worse for the wear after reading through the baby jesus bit.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:17
Well, I’m a little worse for the wear after reading through the baby jesus bit.
Yeah, that was a little rough.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:17
HAHAHAHA YOU PUSSY! I’M GONNA
KICK KISS YOUR ASS!!!Fixxored!
Angry Geometer said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:17
Hugh has access to Google Maps, right? He can see that St. Peter’s Roman Catholic Church is located on the very same corner where 4WTC once stood. St. Peter’s is approximately 500 feet closer to the WTC site than the proposed Muslim community center.
There you go with your facts again.
I emailed Hugh a few days ago asking if the many strip clubs within a couple blocks of the WTC — particularly the Pussycat Lounge, described by one google reviewer as the place to go “if you don’t have the funds for hi-end places or got killed in the market crash and need to see some girls that work hard for a $1.?” — were a part of “America’s sacred space” or not, but surprisingly, he never responded.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:18
Yeah, that was a little rough.
Yeah, but it was funny. Lulz covers a multitude of sins.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:18
fucking strikethrough tags. How do they work?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:18
*sigh*
Now’s it’s a helmet with a gag. I know I’ve seen one around here somewhere. A drool cup would probably be a good idea as well.
*sigh*
Trig said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:19
Jeez, Steve. You’re sounding like an idiot.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:19
Oh, I thought they only ate Christian babies.
Now, that’s just silly. Think how hungry they would have been between 3000 BC and AD 34, waiting for the first Christian baby to come along.
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:19
I am proud to work for the FleetPride corporation. They are a Patriot employer, meaning they only hire American citizens. FleetPride will never in a million years hire an illegal alien
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:19
Now, that’s just silly. Think how hungry they would have been between 3000 BC and AD 34, waiting for the first Christian baby to come along.
I didn’t think that Christian babies were a primary part of their diets…I thought they were more like dessert, you know?
calibre97 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:20
Not very well in your case?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:20
Now’s it’s a helmet with a gag. I know I’ve seen one around here somewhere. A drool cup would probably be a good idea as well.
Don’t let him bite you. You don’t know what he carries.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:20
FleetPride will never in a million years hire an illegal alien
Their policy on hiring racist mouthbreathing troglodytes, on the other hand…
calibre97 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:20
Fucking timing a response to an existing comment…how does that work?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:22
I am proud to work for the FleetPride corporation.
Dude, that sounds kinda…gay…
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:23
I am proud to work for the FleetPride corporation.
I can almost hear Lee Greenwood singing “I’m proud to be an enemaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:23
Another Patriot employer I am proud to associate with is Dunkin Donuts. I stop their everyday for a coffee break in between deliveries. I am proud to support any business that refuses to hire illegal aliens.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:24
“I’m proud to be an enemaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
My mind immediately went to enemas, too, but I couldn’t make it work. I’m so ashamed.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:25
Another Patriot employer I am proud to associate with is Dunkin Donuts.
Didn’t they use a subliminal ad to promote Islam? Rachel Ray wearing a kaffiyeh?
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:25
use
instead ofI think that worksTruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:25
Another Patriot employer I am proud to associate with is Dunkin Donuts. I stop their everyday for a coffee break in between deliveries. I am proud to support any business that refuses to hire illegal aliens.
Yeah, but they had Rachel Ray wearing a Moslem scarf in their ads. Does that terrorist coffee taste delicious?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:26
Dude, that sounds kinda…gay…
Remembering a former SF co-worker’s excitement over the Navy’s arrival in the Bay Area:
“Oooo! It’s Fleet Week!”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:26
DAMMIT.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:26
Use, don’t abuse.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:26
Nope, that didn’t work at all
Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:27
“they use a subliminal ad to promote Islam? Rachel Ray wearing a kaffiyeh?”
I’m it was unintentional. An honest mistake. McDonalds on the other hand hires illegal aliens and should be put out of business for treason.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:28
My mind immediately went to enemas, too, but I couldn’t make it work. I’m so ashamed.
I’ll take the hit on this one…
Fucking enemas…how do they work?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:28
Use, don’t abuse.
Um, me?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:29
I’m it was unintentional. An honest mistake.
Really? Cuz they use Arabia beans, you know, and Kenyan. So they’re sucking up hard to Barack Obama. Maybe you should find a Tim Horton’s you can purchase your hot brown liquids from?
Eh, Steve said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:30
Eh! Steve!
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:30
Fucking enemas…how do they work?
I heard you had some instructional etchings that pretty much cleared up that mystery.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:30
Fucking enemas…how do they work?
Uh, you’re on your own with that one, buddy.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:31
I stop their everyday for a coffee break in between deliveries.
While you are trolling here. Got it.
Fucking jobs, how do they work?
calibre97 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:32
Hey looch! You find that out, can ya let me know? I’d like one please.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:33
I stop their everyday
…their everyday what?
Coach Urban Meyer said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:35
Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? Da Cool Coach is here to check ya before America wrecks ya, cuz the funky fact of the matter is that America don’t want none of your terrorizin and socialist philozophizin around WTC, ya dig? Why don’t you punks zip the lips for just a few seconds and let us Real Patriots rip rap at you how you have no respect for America and Americans, huh? Ding dong dilly, ya sillies!
Da Cool Coach smells ConservoMentum ’10 just around the corner, and you clowns are too busy trying to distract us with your “tolerance” racket. No dice, chumps! You get a SPREAD of TRUTH and you LIKE it, homies. Urban out.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:36
Hey looch! You find that out, can ya let me know? I’d like one please.
Eh, right now I have three of the damn things. I’d let you have one but I kinda need ‘em all. Hang in there, been there and slouched through it. One thought, go volunteer at someplace you’d like to work. You never know what could happen.
/job counselor*
*Can’t help it. I don’t want people going through what I did.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:36
…their everyday what?
Fucking homophones. How do they work?
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:37
Maybe you should find a Tim Horton’s you can purchase your hot brown liquids from?
Tim Horton’s? You want this
teabaggerpatriot to buy his coffee from aCanadiansocialist coffee place, named after ahockey playerhockey player?Why do you hate America, actor? Why?
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:42
Fucking homophones. How do they work?
Steve don’t use no homophones. Their (sic) too gay!
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:43
Don’t let him bite you. You don’t know what he carries.
Hockey cage. You be amazed how many of the l’il wingnuts are biters. Got a bunch of them pre-installed.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:50
Hockey cage. You be amazed how many of the l’il wingnuts are biters. Got a bunch of them pre-installed.
You’re also prepared for the zombie apocalypse!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:52
Tim Horton’s? You want this “patriot” to buy his coffee from a “socialist” coffee place, named after a “hockey player”?
Hey, he played for the New York Rangers! That’s close enough in our country.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:53
I mean, I’m betting by the end of the year, there will be Thierry Henry French fry shacks all around the nation.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:54
You’re also prepared for the zombie apocalypse!
You try and get one of these on a Zombie. Go ahead, I dare ya.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:55
You try and get one of these on a Zombie. Go ahead, I dare ya.
OMG! The zombie would become immortal!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 20:59
You try and get one of these on a Zombie. Go ahead, I dare ya.
OMG! The zombie would become immortal!
Of course, you’d be a slam dunk to get the zombie on just about every version of Jackass they’d film from here on in…
fasteddie9318 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:02
Do you think these people ever had any problem with Walmart building stores over sacred Native burial grounds?
Or with the Wiesenthal Center building Tolerance Museums over Muslim burial grounds?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:04
Question from back upthread; what was the reference I missed to Ricardo Montalban? I only know him from Star Trek and Planet of the Apes…
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:04
Well, at least we got the jerking off and the Cheeto residue out of the way…on the downside, I just had lunch.
Sorry T&U, but honestly, I thought you knew better than to eat while reading comments :(
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:05
Sorry T&U, but honestly, I thought you knew better than to eat while reading comments :(
I do. I blame no one but myself.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:05
Question from back upthread; what was the reference I missed to Ricardo Montalban?
He was spokesman for the car model, the Chrysler Cordoba. He did this quite unforgettable commercial extolling the virtues of “eets sof Corintheeun levver”
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:06
Here. I found one online: http://en.sevenload.com/videos/3QWfA7m-Chrysler-Cordoba-commercial-with-Ricardo-Montalban
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:06
I’ve been threatened by experts
Now that reference, I got (whether it was intentional or not). Harry S. Truman, explaining why he was the only calm one in the room after a failed assassination attempt on his person.
LittlePig said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:08
Boy howdy, 275 comments in 5 hours. A guy’s gotta watch this place like a hawk.
Which sure counts me out.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:08
Here. I found one online: http://en.sevenload.com/videos/3QWfA7m-Chrysler-Cordoba-commercial-with-Ricardo-Montalban
Thanks for the clarification. Am at work, but will watch it later.
LittlePig said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:10
Ahh, seeking fine Corinthian leather, are ya?
Doctorb said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:10
Does Urban Meyer really sound like Ned Flanders in “Dangerous Minds”?
Also, the Ricardo Montalbán reference is because he was the spokesman for the Chevrolet Córdoba.
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:13
Boy howdy, 275 comments in 5 hours. A guy’s gotta watch this place like a hawk.
I’ve not had time to be very active recently, I’m trying to make up for it!
LittlePig said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:13
“South America, take it away!”
Doctorb said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:14
I meant if “Dangerous Minds” had starred Ned Flanders rather than Michelle Pfeiffer. Don’t bother looking for it because it never happened.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:18
I’m getting a little tired of Robert Gibbs.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:19
Now that reference, I got (whether it was intentional or not).
He may have, probably did, say it first. I picked it up from The Thing in the Fantastic Four comics :-)
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:22
Shorter Big Journalism: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT NEGROES LIE????
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:23
I’m getting a little tired of Robert Gibbs.
What did he say this time?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:24
I’m getting a little tired of Robert Gibbs.
Man, I was tired of the Brothers Gibb just after Saturday Night Fever…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:24
What did he say this time?
He was just pretty much like, “Fuck you guys. I meant what I said.” Whatever.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:25
Man, I was tired of the Brothers Gibb just after Saturday Night Fever…
I’m starting to like them *more* than him. And that’s quite a feat.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:27
He was just pretty much like, “Fuck you guys. I meant what I said.” Whatever.
I just saw the link up in the corner after I asked. So now he’s had a chance to think it over and sleep off the dope and he still thinks whining about Jane Hamsher is a winning political strategy. He should totally post at Balloon Juice.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:28
I can’t parse the headline to that BigJourno article, so I don’t have much hope for the article itself.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:29
So now he’s had a chance to think it over and sleep off the dope and he still thinks whining about Jane Hamsher is a winning political strategy. He should totally post at Balloon Juice.
I hope he has a couple of pets.
God, my boss is being a bitch today.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:30
I can’t parse the headline to that BigJourno article, so I don’t have much hope for the article itself.
Isn’t having “failed” and “dismantled” in the same sentence a little redundant?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:33
Boy howdy, 275 comments in 5 hours. A guy’s gotta watch this place like a hawk.
I’m watching it like a handsaw.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:39
I’m watching it like a handsaw.
But is the wind southerly?
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:39
“Boy howdy, 275 comments in 5 hours. A guy’s gotta watch this place like a hawk.”
300 now. So the naked Spartans should be showing up.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:40
If everyone would just listen to Federico García-Lorca who said “Codoba lejana y sola”. Cordoba – distant and alone. See, the mosque should be built somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. There’s also the part where he talks about “death watching me from the towers of Cordoba.” Damn, I really should be collecting wingnut welfare. This is so easy. There’s also mention of “jaca negra”. Sounds like some dark-skinned something-or -other to me. No wonder this whole Cordoba thing is freaking out the wingnuts.
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:40
He should totally post at Balloon Juice.
Why bother? They’ll make his points for him anyways.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:41
300 now. So the naked Spartans should be showing up.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:42
I mean, maybe they’ll help me move…
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:43
Isn’t naked and spartan redundant?
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:44
Ugh, I tried to get through it, but several sentences in, I realized “Jesus, they are still talking about this ?!?! Who the fuck cares! Teabaggers are racist little schmucks and have proven that over and over, so who the cares if there is video of this one event or not?” That was quickly followed up by “Really? Brightblart is depending on selective video evidence to make a case for anything?!”
But at least they are playing defense on something… we really need more offense from our side.
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:44
“If everyone would just listen to Federico García-Lorca…”
I guess Cervantes would be too easy?
smedley said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:46
“I mean, maybe they’ll help me move…”
Ahh, we know what you meant. Is the fat Mr. T&U still sleeping on the twin bed?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:48
Argh. I’m in the fucking final stages of compiling a two hundred page report, and have to manually type in page numbers on about fifty pages (because my fucking boss is too stingy to send me to an Adobe Acrobat class so I can learn how their fucking software works) and now I find out that the middle third is short ohhhhhhhh a few fucking dozen pages…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:48
Is the fat Mr. T&U still sleeping on the twin bed?
Yeah, you could say that.
Willy said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:49
Isn’t naked and spartan redundant?
I’ve never been to East Lansing, so I cannot say either way.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:50
Possible solutions for actor:
- Twelve randomly interspersed pages “intentionally left blank”
- Renumbering pages 120 through 131 to 120a through 120k.
- Burn the mother out
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:52
But at least they are playing defense on something… we really need more offense from our side.
I’m doing MY best.
Wyatt Watts III said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:52
300 now. So the naked Spartans should be showing up.
If they’re looking for the gay bar, it’s right next to the mosque.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:52
Possible solutions for actor:
- Twelve randomly interspersed pages “intentionally left blank”
- Renumbering pages 120 through 131 to 120a through 120k.
- Burn the mother out
First two I’ve employed in the past. It would look unsporting for me to draw from the same well twice.
I mean, it’s not like my stress level was green or anything. No, I don’t mind you fucked my report up, of course not!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:53
I’m in the fucking final stages of compiling a two hundred page report, and have to manually type in page numbers on about fifty pages
You can add headers and footers into a PDF that will automatically number the pages.
I have no solution for the other problem…
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:53
Actor212:
use alternate number schemes that no one understands anyway. Roman numerals, hexadecimal or binary should work just fine.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:54
Fucking Wite-Out…how does it work?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:54
You can add headers and footers into a PDF that will automatically number the pages.
yea, that was sort of the point of the “fucking cheap boss” bit…
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:55
use alternate number schemes that no one understands anyway. Roman numerals, hexadecimal or binary should work just fine.
Ooooh, Fizzbin numbering! Good idea.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:55
Leave all the pages unnumbered. If they remove the alligator clip it’s their own fucking funeral.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:55
Once built, of course, no house of worship may be regulated as to what is said or prayed from within its walls…
No-one tell him that the building already exists.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:56
yea, that was sort of the point of the “fucking cheap boss” bit…
I’m just letting you know for future reference if you hadn’t figured it out yet. I think it’s under “Document.”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:56
Leave all the pages unnumbered. If they remove the alligator clip it’s their own fucking funeral.
I like this idea.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:57
Possible solutions for actor:
Who the fuck writes “in Acrobat?”
You write in <insert favorite editor here>, then “print” to Acrobat.
So update the primary source and re-generate the doc.
And quitcher whining.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:57
Yeah, N__B wins this one.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:58
Who the fuck writes “in Acrobat?”
I was wondering that, too, but thought there might be a good reason…?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:59
Who the fuck writes “in Acrobat?”
You write in , then “print” to Acrobat.
I’ve got rotational issues. Long story. I was going to compile in Acrobat so I could, you know, have landscape pages that actually print landscape and not some weird portscape.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:00
The data sources come from various programs, so I need to create an Acrobat document by compiling from the sources.
Trust me, I did a little research on this. On my own time. With my own dime.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:00
- Renumbering pages 120 through 131 to 120a through 120k.
Move them to Appendix A.
use alternate number schemes that no one understands anyway.
Binary Gray Code works for me.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:01
Page 1 should say “page 1″ at the bottom. The next page should say “the next page” at the bottom. The page after that should say “the page after that” at the bottom all the rest of the pages should say “and the next page..” at the bottom. So easy, a teapartier could do it.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:02
Wingdings.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:02
Shift everything to a smaller typeface. Comic Sans 6-point.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:02
I think some people understand Roman numerals.
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:03
Wingdings.
But for the love of Cthulhu, not Comic Sans.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:03
Page 1 should say “page 1? at the bottom. The next page should say “the next page” at the bottom. The page after that should say “the page after that” at the bottom all the rest of the pages should say “and the next page..” at the bottom. So easy, a teapartier could do it.
This would sure save a lot of trouble for the paginating monkeys…
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:03
Damn you, Smut Clyde.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:04
Clip art of hamburgers.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:04
But for the love of Cthulhu, not Comic Sans.
You laugh but the standing joke around here is the CEO will only read things in crayon.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:05
Also, don’t forget to tell your boss that the report was better in the original Swedish.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:06
I think some people understand Roman numerals.
Some of us REMEMBER Roman numerals.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:06
You laugh but the standing joke around here is the CEO will only read things in crayon.
Good to know this is not unique to the public sector.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:07
You laugh but the standing joke around here is the CEO will only read things in crayon.
My boss only reads things in flow chart.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:08
Well, no way I’m solving this problem in the next hour, so I officially declare my work day over.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:08
My boss only reads things in bullshit.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:08
Maybe there’s a way to do it in Venn diagrams.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:08
I say grab a couple beers and hit the slide.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:10
My boss only reads things in flow chart.
Color charts here.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:10
Some of us REMEMBER Roman numerals.
Those were the days, before those damn ragheads came along and invented the zero.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:10
I officially declare my work day over.
Another problem solved with crowd-sourcing!!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:10
Do you have a flip chart and markers? Preferably the sheets that stick to the wall? They looooove those around here.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:11
Maybe there’s a way to do it in Venn diagrams.
Ahem
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:11
Those were the days, before those damn ragheads came along and invented the zero.
Now we have nothing to show for it.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:12
Those were the days, before those damn ragheads came along and invented the zero.
I know ragheads invented Raghead Numerals, but didn’t some form of Mexican invent the zero?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:13
How about renumbering the pages randomly and adding a footer that says Your quaint notions of ordinal numeracy cramp my style.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:13
“Some form of Mexican” made me snort a little of my drink.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:13
Color charts here.
Unfair to Red-Green-Deficient-Americans.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:13
Preferably the sheets that stick to the wall?
We’re not even allowed Post-its. Green office, you see. We have to use scarps of paper.
Nevermind that the a/c is stuck on 66, the CEO flies a corporate jet everywhere including New fucking Zealand, and the Green committee, co-chaired by yours truly, was forced to rewrite its preliminary energy audit to exclude the fact the CEO commutes by SUV from Connecticut, but was forced to include double-sided Xeroxing and BPA-laden reusable water bottles…
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:13
Ahem
Color charts =/= Venn diagrams
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:14
How about renumbering the pages randomly and adding a footer that says Your quaint notions of ordinal numeracy cramp my style.
Or “Let that be a challenge to you”
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:15
Nevermind that the a/c is stuck on 66, the CEO flies a corporate jet everywhere including New fucking Zealand, and the Green committee, co-chaired by yours truly, was forced to rewrite its preliminary energy audit to exclude the fact the CEO commutes by SUV from Connecticut, but was forced to include double-sided Xeroxing and BPA-laden reusable water bottles…
Let me guess – the CEO is also fat and has a big house.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:16
Color charts =/= Venn diagrams
We have those as part of the charts. I have to show the intersices of various investment objectives as pertains to the hermenuetics of the region invested in.
I swear. He said that to me once. He wanted a chart showing how much money was invested in which continent. I wasn’t going to correct him.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:16
We’re not even allowed Post-its. Green office, you see. We have to use scarps of paper.
There would be a revolt here. My boss makes me keep everything in electronic AND print form. I have 5 paper boxes of shredding of agendas and shit that are at least 3 years old. She does not know that I’m getting rid of them, but I am.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:16
Page 1 should say “page 1? at the bottom. The next page should say “the next page” at the bottom. The page after that should say “the page after that” at the bottom
If you’re going to use a Peano axiomatic system, you need to start with Page 0.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:16
Actor works for algore!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:16
Let me guess – the CEO is also fat and has a big house.
No.
He’s so rich he pays someone to be fat for him.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:17
Let me guess – the CEO is also fat and has a big house.
His boss is Al Gore???
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:17
DAMMIT!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:17
Ouch. Sorry, T&U, too slow.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:17
How about renumbering the pages randomly and adding a footer that says Your quaint notions of ordinal numeracy cramp my style.
a selection of digits of Pi starting at the 17 billionth digit?
a sequence of your favorite irrational numbers in ascending order?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:18
OH FUCK NO.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:18
a selection of digits of Pi starting at the 17 billionth digit?
a sequence of your favorite irrational numbers in ascending order?
Unform numbers of FC Barcelona.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:19
Cray cray pharmacology professor who talks for 20 minutes is here and she’s coming for me! I already dealt with her yesterday!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:19
What happened, T&U?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:19
Cray cray pharmacology professor
Is that a superDUPER computer professor?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:19
Okay, somebody just called her. Maybe she’ll forget and wander away…
Why didn’t my boss answer her email??? WHYYYY???
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:20
We have to use scarps of paper.
“No, really, we have to rope ourselves together for the next stage of the ascent.”
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:20
You could always use the Dewey decimal system to number pages. That way the reader would know if the information on the current page was fiction or non-fiction.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:21
“No, really, we have to rope ourselves together for the next stage of the ascent.”
A guy as rich as Croesus uses his calendar from 2004 to send notes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:21
Is that a superDUPER computer professor?
No, that’s just me using a stupid saying.
She’s nuts. She likes to send bizarre emails and cc the chancellor on them. I don’t know how it is that she still works here.
Fucking tenure, how does it work?
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:21
Chinese numbers, written down phonetically in Hebrew!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:22
That way the reader would know if the information on the current page was fiction or non-fiction.
It’s financial reporting. There’s no getting around the fact it’s total fiction.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:22
Print it out on various different colors of paper, implying that there are “sections.”
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:24
You know, I can actually believe that the same people who oppose the ‘mosque’ at Ground Zero would oppose a Catholic church. That’s because they’re running around saying the Catholic church is the Whore of Babylon and only the 100 members of their particular evangelical subsect are REAL Christians.
Goddammit, beaten to my own joke.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:24
She’s still gone…maybe I dodged the bullet?
One year I had to listen to her complain for twenty minutes about how she wasn’t allowed to drink her warm broth in the auditorium.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:24
Color code each individual letter in order from most to least favorite.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:24
Ooooh…goldenrod!
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:24
I opened
the bookactor212′s report at random. The script was strange to me. The pages, which were worn and typographically poor, were laid out in double columns, as in a Bible. The text was closely printed, and it was ordered in versicles. In the upper corners of the pages were Arabic numbers. I noticed that one left-hand page bore the number (let us say) 40,514 and the facing right-hand page 999.I turned the leaf; it was numbered with eight digits. It also bore a small illustration, like the kind used in dictionaries–an anchor drawn with pen and ink, as if by a schoolboy’s clumsy hand.
It was at this point that the stranger said, “Look at the illustration closely. You’ll never see it again.”
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:25
*snapping fingers*
I’ve got it!
I’ve just declared that China and parts of Colorado no longer exist.
Of course, magically after the report is published, they’ll spontaneously reappear.
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:26
My boss only reads things in flow chart.
In this office, if it isn’t powerpoint, it is going to take too long.
77south said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:26
Don’t forget to number your chapters and verses. End each chapter with “So it is prophesied so it shall come to pass.” In fact, do this for everything you write for the rest of your life.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:26
Ooooh…goldenrod!
I have 4 reams of that shit in my desk.
Nice reference, Smut Clyde.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:27
End each chapter with “So it is prophesied so it shall come to pass.”
Hey, that’s my email signature!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:29
Don’t forget to number your chapters and verses. End each chapter with “So it is prophesied so it shall come to pass.” In fact, do this for everything you write for the rest of your life.
Yul Brynner rendered it better: “So shall it be written, so shall it…be done.”
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:30
In this office, if it isn’t powerpoint, it is going to take too long.
My boss doesn’t speak powerpoint. so when he has to communicate with other people’s bosses who do, I have to translate for him.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:30
Ah, I knew someone had to post that to YouTube.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:31
My boss doesn’t speak powerpoint.
My does, but usually with a cattle prod.
What?
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:31
You don’t get to be rich as Croesus by buying a lotta notepads.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:32
Dammit. Didn’t escape her. It was less painful than usual, though.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:32
So it is posted to YouTube, so shall it… be done!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:33
You don’t get to be rich as Croesus by buying a lotta notepads.
Oooh, good advice! I’ll write that down…I think I have a notepad somewhere around here…
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:33
Good algore reference, T&U. Hey, did you vote yet?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:37
Hey, did you vote yet?
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:38
Oooh, good advice! I’ll write that down
It was better in the original Swedish.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:39
Det var bättre i den ursprungliga svenskan
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:41
Nej, jag menar det anteckningsblock skämt
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:44
This iS AMeRICA. WE SpeAK eNGLiSh.
Swedish Chef said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:45
Bork! Bork! Bork!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:45
I mean, get a brain, morans.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:45
This iS AMeRICA. WE SpeAK eNGLiSh.
Behöver mer “Moran”
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:46
Dammit!
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:46
Det är Amerika. Vi talar engelska.
See, still better in the original Swedish.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:47
BTW, what is with the redneck habits of random capitalization/inappropriate use of lowercase letters and overuse of quotation marks? Especially use of quotation marks for “emphasis”? I don’t get it.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:49
BTW, what is with the redneck habits of random capitalization/inappropriate use of lowercase letters and overuse of quotation marks? Especially use of quotation marks for “emphasis”? I don’t get it.
They’re hicks, Rita.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:50
BTW, what is with the redneck habits of random capitalization/inappropriate use of lowercase letters and overuse of quotation marks? Especially use of quotation marks for “emphasis”? I don’t get it.
I’ts “OBviouS” to me THaT yoU are nOt a “REal” aMEriCan. Yoo ArE juSt a “MOran”.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:52
And they all have the same cramped, bizarre way of writing. I can tell an old redneck’s handwriting from a mile away, even if everything is spelled correctly. Sad, really.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:56
And they all have the same cramped, bizarre way of writing.
Comes from grabbing hold on goat horns.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:57
the CEO flies a corporate jet everywhere including New fucking Zealand
Hey, I wanted to meet Kiwi and Smut for a drink at the Old Entomologist… now GET BACK TO WORK!!!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 22:59
Hey, I wanted to meet Kiwi and Smut for a drink at the Old Entomologist… now GET BACK TO WORK!!!
*grabs two beers and deploys emergency slide*
So lonnnnnnnnng suckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssss…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:01
I wish we had an emergency slide here.
I could jump out the window, though. We’re on the ground floor.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:02
I mean, I could jump out the window if we weren’t on the ground floor, but that might hurt.
LittlePig said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:05
So lonnnnnnnnng suckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssss…
That would have made it absolutely perfect.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:07
Unfair to Red-Green-Deficient-Americans.
No deficiency in my America.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:16
“No, really, we have to rope ourselves together for the next stage of the ascent.”
I see what you do here.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:19
And they all have the same cramped, bizarre way of writing.
Any studies ever done of handwriting as a cultural whatever?
I’ve seen what T&U was talking about; 30+ yrs. ago I had a temp gig involving index cards filled out by members of the Laborers Union (ditchdiggers & schleppers) mostly Spanish-surnamed, & there were specific commonalities in their handwriting. (A lot of it cramped & weird, too. Physiological trouble w/ the whole readin’ &writin’ thing?) I s’pose it all stems from the cursive writing workbooks, whether in Mexico or Neckistan.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:20
Any studies ever done of handwriting as a cultural whatever?
That’s interesting. I’ll have to look into it. I think physiological trouble is a good explanation, as well as lack of education…
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:28
ABOVE: The Three Faces of
EewHeave.Improvement.
Mysticdog said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:47
I’ve noticed the white-trash capitalization thing before too, but I never connected it with a trend. But they were all white trash. I have no idea what it means.
Its like the ghetto trash thing of putting multiple letters into words used for nicknames. I don’t get it. Don’t really want to.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 23:57
Random capitalisatioN was Good Enough for the Founding FatheRs.
D.N. Nation said,
August 12, 2010 at 0:18
Tea Party signs : Scare quotes :: Glenn Greenwald : Initial caps
M. Bouffant said,
August 12, 2010 at 0:32
I don’t get it. Don’t really want to.
Message received. Will not be anywhere near your lawn.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
August 12, 2010 at 0:48
No, not Dewey Decimal. They might have some chance of figuring that out. Library of Congress—you know: alphabetical by the author’s dog’s vet’s orthodontist’s mother’s maiden name.
Whale Chowder said,
August 12, 2010 at 0:53
Will not be anywhere near your lawn.
If you change your mind, watch out for the shit moat.
KWillow said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:00
“Steve said,
Another Patriot employer … is Dunkin Donuts. I…any business that refuses to hire illegal aliens…”
You know Stevie, looking behind the racism and jingoism you wrote something halfway bright.
if we stopped and/or seriously penalized the people who hired illegal Mexicans, the flow across the border would seriously slow down, maybe stop.
It’s a MUCH better solution than electric sharks or ‘gators or whatever in the river.
Whale Chowder said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:15
if we stopped and/or seriously penalized the people who hired illegal Mexicans, the flow across the border would seriously slow down, maybe stop.
The truly funny thing is, the Obama administration has done a much better job of this than the Boosh admin ever did. Raids on businesses hiring illegal immigrants are up, as are deportations. See here: http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/31/obama-is-not-soft-on-immigration.html
So, again…Steve FAIL.
Looch said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:17
So, again…Steve FAIL.
The h*ck you say!
g said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:25
Damn, I’m late in the game. you all have been playing while I’ve been working.
GZM? What’s that supposed to mean/ Sounds like the name of a gossip website.
g said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:26
Oh, and I have a colleague who actually KNOWS the flight attendant that slid down the chute!
Lurking Canadian said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:42
Especially use of quotation marks for “emphasis”?
The other day, I parked near a van at the mall, emblazoned as follows:
Not really inspiring me to pick up my phone here, dude.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:49
if we stopped and/or seriously penalized the people who hired illegal Mexicans, the flow across the border would seriously slow down, maybe stop.
Class warfare!
M. Bouffant said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:49
g, you see this?
KWillow said,
August 12, 2010 at 1:55
Yes, as a tender hearted Lib, I feel sorry for the illegal Mexican man or woman who really is willing to “work for food”, and work DAMM hard, too.
M. Bouffant said,
August 12, 2010 at 2:07
McCarthy at NRO:
Sadly, the “Muslim outreach” he mentions is not the “Death From Above” variety the United Snakes have been practicing the last nine yrs. Don’t expect Andy to push for “defense” cuts. His real interest in better gov’t. & foreign policy is investigations of “this government.”
They are coming to get you, Andrew. You’ll be buried in hate lit.
Mysticdog said,
August 12, 2010 at 2:10
Message received. Will not be anywhere near your lawn.
I’m sorry, are white trash and ghetto trash off limit words now?
Lurking Canadian said,
August 12, 2010 at 2:23
someone in Congress needs to get to the bottom of whether this government is also underwriting Islamic religious institutions
Is this the new wingnut meme? President Obama is building mosques?
And Congress should investigate it. Forget investigating torture, let’s get to the bottom of this federally funded mosque issue.
Somebody needs to tell the wingnuts that when the voices tell them to do something, they should call the doctor immediately.
wiley said,
August 12, 2010 at 2:30
Rubber sheets, ya’ll. And try to abstain from liquids at bedtime.
tigris said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:09
There is no good reason for our government to be doing “Muslim outreach.”
Really, none? PEE ESS Rauf did the same thing for Bush in 2007, did Angry Andy write diatribes agin it then?
That aside, though, someone in Congress needs to get to the bottom of whether this government is also underwriting Islamic religious institutions, and doing so in violation of U.S. law.
The WashTimes article didn’t provide any evidence for this claim(all those links are just to subject categories), so we can’t tell what actually was funded, why, or by whom. Interestingly, they spelled the Cairo mosque wrong, so if you Google it you get about a million repetitions of the tale with nary a scrap of evidence. If you look up the real spelling in wikipedia, the latest restoration listed was in the 80s. Kizimkazi restoration funding was in 2008. You know, I could keep looking this shit up, since it’s obviously beneath these lying motherfuckers who actually get PAID for this, but FUCK THEM.
Chris said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:14
That aside, though, someone in Congress needs to get to the bottom of whether this government is also underwriting Islamic religious institutions, and doing so in violation of U.S. law. And wholly apart from questions of legality and utility, Saudi Arabia and the other Gulf states Rauf is visiting are swimming in petro-dollars — why can’t they fund icons of Islamic supremacism on their own . . . maybe using the money they’d otherwise spend on the hate literature they produce for American Islamic centers?
There’s actually something intelligent here for the adults who aren’t into the whole hate thing.
We know Saudi Arabia’s been financing the spread of their militant, intolerant form of Islam, swamping local (and often more tolerant) forms of the religion under piles and piles of oil money (very much like American fundamentalists, but that’s another story). The problem is as much financial as anything – if we want the more tolerant versions of Islam to survive, thrive and eventually win out, they’re going to need money to counter the Salafi gospel, and the U.S. is in a good position to provide that money. (I don’t know if they’re already doing it; if they are, so much the better).
S. cerevisiae said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:16
Late to the party, but:
Do you think these people ever had any problem with Walmart building stores over sacred Native burial grounds?
How about MOUNT FUCKING RUSHMORE?
Americans not only steal sacred lands, they carve huge heads of the conquerors just to remind them uppity Lakota who’s boss.
Looch said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:26
How about MOUNT FUCKING RUSHMORE?
That’s got some cliff-like properties, now, doesn’t it?
I got a good feeling about this.
N__B said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:38
I got a good feeling about this.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets decapitated.
justme said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:41
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know … morons.
N__B said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:47
On topic, for once: http://gawker.com/5610539/religious-right-group-no-more-mosques-in-the-united-states
Chris said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:49
N_B, thanks for the link. I love the comment “God is rolling over in his grave.”
N__B said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:51
I love the comment “God is rolling over in his grave.”
The hyperbole is ridiculous, of course, God is omnipotent, so he’s equally comfortable on his left or right sides.
M. Bouffant said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:56
If you look up the real spelling in wikipedia, the latest restoration listed was in the 80s. Kizimkazi restoration funding was in 2008. You know, I could keep looking this shit up, since it’s obviously beneath these lying motherfuckers who actually get PAID for this, but FUCK THEM.
Good lookin’ out! Had a sneaking suspicion that this would go back to Bush (as so many of these alleged Obama activities do) but could I be arsed? Certainly not.
I’m sorry, are white trash and ghetto trash off limit words now?
‘Course not; I’m just an old grump pretending to be a young jerk.
M. Bouffant said,
August 12, 2010 at 3:59
he’s equally comfortable on his left or right side
Slept on his stomach; SIDS victim. Didn’t start rolling until he was entombed; by then it was too late.
lobbey said,
August 12, 2010 at 5:36
We know Saudi Arabia’s been financing the spread of their militant, intolerant form of Islam…..
as well as owning a fairly big chunk of Fox…..
g said,
August 12, 2010 at 5:57
g, you see this?
Thanks, M!! Way cool. Don’t out me!!
But if you want to visit the place, just let me know. I’ll give you the tour. There’s people that think Marion’s ghost is around…. I’m not totally convinced, but it’s a damn good idea that she’d want to hang around and have a good time.
justme said,
August 12, 2010 at 6:06
There was some drivel about the NotGZNotM on NicePoliteRepublicans today. I rhetorically asked a coworker exactly how far from the Trade Center site these people would deem acceptable. Now I have my answer. As if it hasn’t always been obvious.
I also liked the comment,
which reminded me of this guy.
Smut Clyde said,
August 12, 2010 at 8:27
That’s got some cliff-like properties, now, doesn’t it?
It’s not a scarp of paper, though.
actor212 said,
August 12, 2010 at 14:54
Smith Plumbing
Call [phone number] for “professional” services.
He’ll “ream your pipes” and “blow out your drains”.
actor212 said,
August 12, 2010 at 14:54
It’s not a scarp of paper, though.
Fucking keyboards, how do they work?
actor212 said,
August 12, 2010 at 14:55
It’s not a scarp of paper, though.
Shakespeare made up words, too! Scarp…you know, its like a scrap or a scarf!
DAS said,
August 12, 2010 at 15:31
Do you think these people ever had any problem with Walmart building stores over sacred Native burial grounds? – T&U
I’m sure according to those people “Injuns ain’t real ‘Murkins”.
*
The problem is as much financial as anything – if we want the more tolerant versions of Islam to survive, thrive and eventually win out – Chris
We would also need more mosques so people who are upset about the intolerance of their local mosque can just go to another one.
vacuumslayer said,
August 12, 2010 at 23:06
“You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know … morons.”
Nothing like a Blazing Saddles quote to put a smile on my face
Doctorb said,
August 13, 2010 at 1:43
Nothing like hemlock water dropwort to put a smile on your face.
rabit said,
August 13, 2010 at 3:23
Does Hugh Hewitt remind anyone in that middle photo of the dead clown in the Red Meat comic strip? Cause he does. Creeeeeepy…