ABOVE: The Three Faces of Eew
It was only a matter of time before Hugh Hewitt weighed in on the controversy over Cordoba House, and, boy, was it worth the wait. Pretending that he and he alone has discovered the ultimate arguments to demolish the Muslim-loving liberals, he throws down on the table two deliciously absurd arguments — well, three really, if you count his claim that Ground Zero is “sacred ground” just like the Gettysburg Battlefield and should not be encroached by any development — without realizing, of course, that he’s implicitly calling for razing everything in Manhattan.
The other two arguments are what I would call double flea flicker reverse strawmen. In a normal strawman, the writer demolishes an imaginary argument. In a double flea flicker reverse strawman, the imaginary argument does the demolishing. Serious scholars refer to this rhetorical tactic as an argumentum ad sparkleponium, or an appeal to a mythical race of creatures or a non-existent phenomenon.
To attempt to rebut the notion that those opposing the Cordoba House aren’t religious bigots, Hugh offers up his first example of the argumentum ad sparkleponium.
It is a certainty that many among the overwhelming majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location in Manhattan, a location not chosen to exploit the fact that an attack on America took place where the mosque was built.
Show me the money, Hugh! Show me the money! And the sparkle ponies.
He follows up with an even more awesome argumentum ad sparkleponium
Those same overwhelming majorities would oppose a Roman Catholic cathedral on the same site.
And Hugh Hewitt will appear in the next Old Spice campaign stripped to the waist and riding a white pony.