Aug
10
10
We Could Call It The Al-Pigglywiggly
Shorter Dough-Jo Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
Bridge-Building for Everybody! Whoopee!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Jennifer said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:50
Gee, Jonah, while you’re at it, why don’t you just drop that load you’ve been carrying around in your pants right there in front of the door of the mosque. That’ll show ‘em!!
dlauthor said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:52
Seriously? The Doughmeister’s sporting wood about a place that sells pork products? Is he trying to set some kind of landspeed record for jokes that write themselves?
calibre97 said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:53
And how about all them Keeeristian churches anywhere NEAR Oklahoma? Were those stopped out of deference? What’s that? Christianity had nothing to do with McVeigh’s motives? The motives were anti-gubbmint so it’s cool, amirite? And besides, it was one lone nut (and anti-gubbmint at that!!!11!!one!!!1!) so it’s totes not the same.
We’re playing numbers games now? And you can only go back 10 years for religious involvement in motives, no bringing up that damn Inquisition or any other such nonsense?!?!?
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:53
Yeah. Because the nearest deli is all of 200′ away…
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:55
We’re gonna have to find a higher cliff.
calibre97 said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:55
Mooselims are so the new Reds for these folks. Where once all you had to do was whisper “commie” and they’d load their pants, now it’s “issssssssslllllaammmmm” and ploink! The loads, they’s a made in they pants.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:58
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 16:59
Oh, no no no. I’m staying in this here boat.
John Goodman said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:03
What about building a pork product store next to that new mosque in New York City? Isn’t that the coolest idea ever? Doing that is so not this or this.
Antisemite.
[slams Jonah in the face as pictured by camera angle]
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:04
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
There are maybe three truly kosher delis in all of Manhattan. Too much demand for pork, bacon, cheese on salami, et cetera, et cetera…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:04
Also, are these people children, or what?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:04
Here we have the legacy of William F. borne by Jonah’s pants.
Cargo said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:04
Hey, what do folks here think of JC Christian’s idea, “Burn A Confederate Flag Day” on Sept 12? It’s a similar sort of hurr-hurr idea but I’m kind of in favor.
http://sites.google.com/site/burnrebelflagday/
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:04
pork, bacon, cheese on salami
HOT.
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:05
A strip club/gay bar with many pork dishes on the menu (and elsewhere) might work just fine. Bonus: They could give away puppies!
So was he one of the ones complaining about dishonoring the site where the ashes of the noble dead rest?
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:06
Oh, no no no. I’m staying in this here boat.
Meh. Doughload just cuts and pastes Gutfeld and slaps this on the bottom:
And no, I am not interested in who or what else Jonah slaps on the bottom.
Really. DNW.
OK?
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:07
Also, are these people children, or what?
Yes.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:08
Also, are these people children, or what?
Yes.
Who make Trig have many, many good days in a row.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:08
Well, I’m going to open a sushi place next to an aquarium, SO THERE!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:09
TAKE THAT, FISH!
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:09
1. Open a strip club that sells pork and gives away puppies.
2. Deal with multiple health-code violations, workplace injuries from platform-shoe-on-pigs-blood slippage, and puppy-consumed missing pork.
3. Touch thumb to nose, wiggle fingers at Muslims.
4. Profit!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:10
Shorter Dough-Jo Loadberg
Shit – don’t taunt that thing! According to Wikipedia, when they feel threatened, they will attempt to confound their attackers by releasing several liters of nostril-punishing beefgas.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:11
Next, I’m going to open a vegan restaurant next to a slaughterhouse!
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:12
Those Muslims sure will be surprised and enraged when they discover that they can’t control what businesses go into neighboring buildings.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:13
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
77south said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:13
Well, I’m going to open a sushi place next to an aquarium, SO THERE!
Go whole hog. Open a public school next to any Tea party building.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:14
“It looks like food but there’s no meat in it! NO JONAH DON’T TOUCH THAT SAMMITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOO”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:14
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
77south said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:15
A soup kitchen/homeless shelter next to the American Enterprise Institute?
Dan Someone said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:16
I am envisioning Friday night pig races through the streets of Manhattan. With Jabba Goldblob leading the pack.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:16
It’s not this either.
smedley said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:16
“Also, are these people children, or what?”
I believe my first encounter with SadlyNo! was when they were mocking Jonah’s endeavor to come up with a theme song for ASW. (This may have been the genesis of the Cat Viking video of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song). What was that? Six years ago?
Trig is surely maturing at a faster rate than these losers.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:17
Today’s Goldberg column is even better. It starts out with how Hitler built the Volkswagen and seamlessly transitions into hybrid cars.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:18
Next to NRO HQ, best bet would be a gym. You know they’d get butthurt big time.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:18
I am envisioning Friday night pig races through the streets of Manhattan
To be combined with Critical Mass. What could go wrong with a few hundred bikers at high speed through pig-shit strewn streets?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:19
Damn T et U. Damn iPhone.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:19
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
Wasn’t it some general’s idea back before we raped Iraq to bring a bunch of pig carcasses in to bury the dead terrorists in?
So we have a gay Muslim bar and a pig slaughter house. Why not go whole hog (pardon the pun) and open a women’s bikini store on the other side?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:20
Next to NRO HQ, best bet would be a gym. You know they’d get butthurt big time.
AHEM
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:20
Damn T et U. Damn iPhone.
You are forgiven.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:20
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
Nah. IATSE headquarters. They could cut the power to the building periodically.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:21
It’s not this either.
Thanks for the link. That’s truly sick, and unfortunately representative of a growing movement in Europe.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:21
What could go wrong with a few hundred bikers at high speed through pig-shit strewn streets?
Y’know, we could open a Chinese restaurant: Sum Dung Flung.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:22
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
ACORN office across the street.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:25
Also, are these people children, or what?
As already answered, yes. They are also insane. For reals, loony toons.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:26
ACORN office across the street.
We need to fit a head shop and maybe a yoga studio in somewhere….
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:28
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
There are maybe three truly kosher delis in all of Manhattan.
The closest kosher deli to Ground Zero would be Noah’s Ark on Grand, but it’s all the way over by the Williamsburg Bridge.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:30
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:31
Do they serve two of everything?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:31
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Too overtly aggressive for them. They need some passive in their aggression, so they can’t be proven liars.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:31
El Cid, that would be more direct, but it wouldn’t reveal the hypocrisy of us libs.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:31
Do they serve two of everything?
If you saw how they served food, you’d think that.
They make a nice sammich.
Willy said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:34
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
A peep show or a bath house, or would that be entrapment?
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:35
Wonkette has one of their best article summary intro’s I’ve seen:
Of course, as I always say, John 3:16 v2: “For God so loved the world that he knocked up Joseph’s young fiancee.”
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:36
Add a fried foods $2 buffet, and you’d do even better.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:36
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Too many vegetables.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:38
Add a fried foods $2 buffet, and you’d do even better.
You’ve been to the Dirty Bird, I see…
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:42
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:46
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
This shit just got real
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:46
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
The entrance is lined with statues of great liberals of history, like Saul Alinsky and George Soros.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:47
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Damn, you stole my idea. (Although I was going to go with “ISLAM SUCKS”, which is way better because shut up that’s why.)
The only possible conclusion is that these allegedly Constitution revering patriots do not know what the First Amendment says. I do, and I’m CANADIAN! Read a damned book sometime, Jonah.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:48
Cf.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:48
I’m CANADIAN
Canadians…
People who talk like us, only slower.
People who act like us, only nicer.
People who look like us, only whiter.
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:50
The entrance is lined with statues of great liberals of history, like Saul Alinsky and George Soros.
And the ultra-low-flow urinals and composting toilets look like Ronald Reagan.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:51
And the ultra-low-flow urinals and composting toilets look like Ronald Reagan.
Instead of toilet paper, you have to wipe your ass with a leaf.
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:52
A leaf from a book published by Regnery.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:53
Microbrews only, no Coors Light.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:54
The uniforms are made of hemp.
24shamsky said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:54
Hee hee. Little do they know that there’s already a strip club on the next block. That’ll teach those ragheads, youbetcha…
Lurking Canadian said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:56
You know, something’s just occurred to me. (I’m slow.)
If it is an intolerable provocation to build a mosque (I know it isn’t a mosque) next to Ground Zero (I know it isn’t next), isn’t it…Look, these people are homophobes, right? They’d be just as pissed off if somebody was going to build a gay bar next to Ground Zero, right? Isn’t the gay bar next to the mosque also close enough to Ground Zero to be equally provoking, or do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Wingnut logic is hard.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:56
What about the Planned Parenthood clinic?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:58
Isn’t the gay bar next to the mosque also close enough to Ground Zero to be equally provoking, or do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
The enema of my enemy is my friend.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:59
do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Nah, they’re just trying to do some sort of liebral Sophie’s Choice.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:00
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:00
This place better have wheat grass shots…
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:00
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
What TVs?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:01
Or maybe Berkeley.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:02
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
What TVs?
The ones powered by the exercise bikes.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:04
The Teevees in front of the treadmills so that everyone gets a good dose of propaganda in the form of real – as in factual – history and so on. Elitist gyms train mind and body.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:08
Sure looks a lot like the WTC towers themselves, doesn’t it? Hard to imagine that’s a coincidence. A certain implicit triumphalism involved?
77south said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:08
Sigh. If there was a gym like that in real life, I would join in a minute.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:10
Sigh. If there was a gym like that in real life, I would join in a minute.
Right? Except for the wheat grass shots. That stuff makes me puke. At least in the morning after a night of tequila shots…
The Goddamn Batman Only Goes To Gentlemen's Clubs For The Lunch Buffet, Which Is Really Excellent; Also, To Get Leads On Certain Tough Cases, Which Explains The Roll Of Singles In His Utility Belt said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:10
They’re really getting this idea from these fine ladies and their ongoing counter-protest. The best part of Gutfeld’s announcement is on the Big Hollywood version of his post:
…way, way too easy, I’m throwing this one back in.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:11
Fortunately, the First Amendment cuts both ways.
I see these ads pissing more people off than a “mosque” at Ground Zero.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:12
I see these ads pissing more people off than a “mosque” at Ground Zero.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people? Yeah, obviously they really care about respecting September 11th victims and their families.
mmy said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:12
“Obama killed Ted Stevens” conspiracy theories in 3… 2… 1…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:13
They’re really getting this idea from these fine ladies and their ongoing counter-protest.
I feel a-hankerin’ to go to church in Ohio…
Ted the Slacker said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:14
They can build Gitmo v2 next door, that would be suitably offensive and illegal, unlike the community centre which is neither; so a neat juxtaposition of wingnut America versus the rest of us.
77south said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:14
Could we get some solid economics lectures broadcast on the TV’s too? Fact based economics? with no supply side, trickle down, or unicorn based theories?
Ted the Slacker said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:16
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?
What indeed.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:17
What indeed.
AHEM
g said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:19
You know, I think that would be just the thing for these inexperienced ignorant fools to invest their Wingnut welfare dollars in!
Why shouldnt’ they spend their money on extremely expensive lower Manhattan real estate? And also invest their money in a business license, health department license for food service, not to mention the various compliances with liquor licensing and nightclub ordinance compliance?
Of course, in a neighborhood that’s basically a place for office workers, where there’s little night-life nor residential development, a night club and charcuterie may not suceed, but what they heck? Why would you need a successful business model when your main goal is to offend some people you don’t like?
Since Manhattan-based Muslim-Americans are probably already pretty exposed to Teh Ghey, alcohol purveyors and stores that sell pork products, it’s not likely that people who visit the Cordoba Center are even going to notice, but what the heck?
maybe they can get a few curious tourists and a handful of office workers buying sandwiches before the entire enterprise goes broke.
Yep, opening up a business for the purpose of offending the people who might frequent it – a hilarious affirmation of free market principles.
DrDick said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:20
Somebody needs to shove copious quantities of pork products up Jonah’s copious and not kosher ass.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:21
What the FUCK is wrong with these people? Yeah, obviously they really care about respecting September 11th victims and their families.
That’s why they spent all these weeks after 9/11 lecturing us on how it was all our fault for being faggots and feminists…
DrDick said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:25
That’s why they spent all these weeks after 9/11 lecturing us on how it was all our fault for being faggots and feminists…
And bad mouthing the families of the victims seeking compensation.
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:26
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?
The “Geller” person the article never gives a full name for is none other than crazy Pammy, so…
g said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:28
I think it’d be great if they put all their hard-earned wingnut welfare dollars into a poorly-conceived enterprise in some of the most expensive commercial real estate in the country, especially a type of business that would require complicated and expensive liciensing (health dept., liquor, etc.) and compliance with stringent regulations and demand a very expensive insurance policy.
Especially if it was an enterprise conceived soley for the purpose of achieving a negative reaction from its neighbors. They’ll be raking in the bucks with that!
That’s a perfect illustration in the wing nut approach to free market principles!
tigris said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:29
Jonah’s copious and not kosher ass.
I dunno, he’s got split hooves and chews the cud… no wait, TOO MANY VEGETABLES, so you’re right.
DrDick said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:33
That’s a perfect illustration in the wing nut approach to free market principles!
Demonstrating once again their keen intellects and deep understanding of social phenomena.
Angry Geometer said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:37
I’d like to see somebody open up a children’s modeling agency right next door to a Catholic Church.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:43
I’m bored…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:45
Can we talk about hippie-punching? That always gets me pissy.
bargal20 said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:46
Okay, in my old neighbourhood in Melbourne, Australia there’s an Islamic centre with prayer rooms right next door to a “Hustler Erotic Ultralounge”.
No one gives a shit–not the stripper out front grabbing a smoke before her shift starts;nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call.
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:47
Well, Robert Gibbs has been punching hippies but good lately. Maybe you’d like to talk about that?
But I’m sure everybody else wants to hear more about your boy-crazy co-worker. Talking about her always makes you happy, doesn’t it?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:48
Well, Robert Gibbs has been punching hippies but good lately. Maybe you’d like to talk about that?
Yeah, that’s what I was hinting at. Everybody’s all cranky and fighting on Twitter. It’s just like the good ol’ healthcare reform days.
But I’m sure everybody else wants to hear more about your boy-crazy co-worker. Talking about her always makes you happy, doesn’t it?
If by “happy,” you mean “murderously cranky,” then yes, yes it does.
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:53
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:59
do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Nah, they’re just trying to do some sort of liebral Sophie’s Choice.”
Heh. Nicely put.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:54
Yeah, that’s what I was hinting at.
It’s so weird. I’ve sort of been hoping for some kind of rant of righteous indignation, complete with flop sweat and spittle coating the front row of the White House press room, but I thought The Other Guys would be the target. I don’t exactly have a hair-trigger temper, but I suspect that if I had the President’s job, I would have started looking longingly at clock towers after the 432nd filibuster. But this? Yelling at your own side in a time when you need all the votes you can get? I can’t wrap my head around this thing at all. Maybe he was high.
The closest analogue I can come up with is the time my high-school English teacher completely lost it in class and started complaining that “You all just want to have FUN!” before storming out. In her case, it was a genuine nervous breakdown and we didn’t see her until the following September. I wonder if Gibbs will soon “choose to spend more time with his family.”
stryx said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:57
a good dose of propaganda in the form of real – as in factual – history and so on.
The Zinnnasium.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:58
Maybe he was high.
He might have lost control a little bit, but I doubt there was any significant deviation from what he really thinks in that outburst. Hippie punching has been conventional political wisdom for a very long time, especially since the press went full wingnut.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 18:59
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Don’t worry, they’ll bus in Concerned Nonlocal Citizens from Alaska, Arizona and the South. You know, those people with such a deep and abiding concern for 9/11 victims’ feelings, let alone New Yorkers’…
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:00
“Obama killed Ted Stevens” conspiracy theories in 3… 2… 1…
If you heartless liberals had only let him build that bridge…
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:01
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs#viewcomments
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:01
But this? Yelling at your own side in a time when you need all the votes you can get? I can’t wrap my head around this thing at all. Maybe he was high.
Um, yeah, exactly. I mean, like, I’m not really that personally offended–I’ve known that the Obama administration doesn’t give a shit about the fee fees of people like me for some time now. But I don’t understand all these jabs at the left. We don’t have much power, and the only thing it would accomplish is driving people away from the polls. It almost seems like he’s just trying to antagonize people at this point.
Of course, the more “reasonable” Democrats among us think it’s perfectly defensible and a totes a-ok strategy three months before the election. But what do I know? I don’t even know where to find sparklepony feed!
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:04
Conservatards are job creators, I’ll give them that. They’ve created a whole new industry: Revenge Architcture.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:05
He might have lost control a little bit, but I doubt there was any significant deviation from what he really thinks in that outburst
I meant that maybe he only said it because he was high. That this is how the White House views the left has been clear since Rahm Emmanual made fun of Trig Palin. But a guy with a job like that should be able to think this sort of thing and prevent it from coming out of his mouth.
Hell, ANY adult should be able to think things without letting them out of his mouth. It’s especially strange when all “the left” has ever done is whined at him, all the while “the center” (Presidents Lieberman, Nelson, Snowe, Collins, Bayh…) keeps pulling away his football.
Angry Geometer said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:07
No one gives a shit–not the stripper out front grabbing a smoke before her shift starts;nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call.
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Yeah, that’s kind of what makes living in a big city great. Once city block can encompass more diversity than an entire smaller city. I guess it’s hard to understand how that’s possible, much less desirable, if you’ve never lived in one.
Angry Geometer said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:13
wheat, grass, shots
Beer before liquor, never been sicker.
Djur said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:14
This is fucking spooky. I had a dream last night that I was working as an intern at the National Review, and it turned out that Jonah Goldberg was a cool guy, had lost some weight, and was decent to me despite our political differences.
I’m so glad to see this and be reminded of reality, but it does give me a hearty dose of nausea on behalf of my sick, sick subconscious.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:15
Yeah, that’s kind of what makes living in a big city great. Once city block can encompass more diversity than an entire smaller city. I guess it’s hard to understand how that’s possible, much less desirable, if you’ve never lived in one.
As someone who lives in one, I do love that.
bklyn said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:17
is it just me or is this dough-jo crap just not funny anymore?
how many years can the same ol shit be funny?
Marion in Savannah said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:24
but it does give me a hearty dose of nausea on behalf of my sick, sick subconscious
Your subconscious isn’t sick at all, it’s just incurably optimistic, always hoping for the best for people. Even loathsome turds like Loadpants.
Djur said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:24
Also, I think it’d be a really nice concept to have a gay bar for observant, teetotaling Muslims. Seems counterproductive to sell food they can’t eat there, though.
My point here is that Gutfeld’s point is stupid because what he’s suggesting isn’t offensive at all, and Goldberg’s elaboration is stupid because he takes a non-offensive suggestion and turns it into a deliberately offensive provocation. Acceptance and support of homosexuality is a liberal value, but going into a kosher deli and demanding a ham and cheese sandwich is offensive to everyone but anti-semites. Liberals would prefer if religious people (of whatever stripe) would be more tolerant and open toward homosexuality, but I don’t think there’s liberals demanding that orthodox Jews open their hearts to oyster shooters.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:35
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Heckuva job, whitey said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:36
Um, yeah, exactly. I mean, like, I’m not really that personally offended
And why would you be? Do you get paid for commenting on politics? I mean, like, officially? Because if not, you’re not a member of the professional left.
DAS said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:37
Got off the boat: it’s nice to know that all we need to do to get our liberal agenda off the ground (e.g. gay rights) is to point out that evil, scary Islamofascists oppose that agenda.
I think that should be our new strategy: “why are you against gay rights? you know who else hates gays? evil mooslim terrorists”, “why do you support off-shore drilling? you know who else drills for oil? Ay-rabs”, “why are you unconcerned about global warming? do you know where it’s really hot? Arabia, that’s where”
*
Also, I think it’d be a really nice concept to have a gay bar for observant, teetotaling Muslims. Seems counterproductive to sell food they can’t eat there, though. – Djur
Indeed. That’s true. Muslims are teetotallers. Just like Baptists.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:37
And why would you be? Do you get paid for commenting on politics? I mean, like, officially? Because if not, you’re not a member of the professional left.
Nope. I felt like it was kind of directed at the supporters of the “professional left,” as well, but obviously, he wasn’t explicitly saying that, so I could be wrong.
DAS said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:39
nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call. – bargal
Did you mean to be ambiguous here?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:40
This is fucking spooky. I had a dream last night that I was working as an intern at the National Review, and it turned out that Jonah Goldberg was a cool guy, had lost some weight, and was decent to me despite our political differences.
*getting bullhorn*
STEP AWAY FROM THE TEQUILA.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:40
My point here is that Gutfeld’s point is stupid because what he’s suggesting isn’t offensive at all, and Goldberg’s elaboration is stupid because he takes a non-offensive suggestion and turns it into a deliberately offensive provocation. Acceptance and support of homosexuality is a liberal value, but going into a kosher deli and demanding a ham and cheese sandwich is offensive to everyone but anti-semites. Liberals would prefer if religious people (of whatever stripe) would be more tolerant and open toward homosexuality, but I don’t think there’s liberals demanding that orthodox Jews open their hearts to oyster shooters.
Well said.
I, also, really hope they carry through and open a gay bar. I foresee two possible outcomes;
1) The “gay bar” becomes a hangout for conservative activist shills, which most of Manhattan’s gays will avoid like the plague and no one but the out of towners will go on pilgrimage to.
2) The gay bar actually works out, in which case in a matter of months, the patrons of both buildings start getting to know each other (riding the bus, riding the metro, standing on the street waiting for the bus or waiting to be picked up, etc etc etc) and – wait for it – DON’T kill each other in a bloody war.
Either way, I’d laugh hysterically.
Carrie Prejean's Rubber Horsecock said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:42
No imagination. So typical of wingnuts.
If I was gonna go there, I’d suggest a strip club featuring only menstruating dancers. The strippers must retain their high heels and burqua hoods. Patrons can buy warm lard to fling at the girls, or find their own uses for it. For an extra price, one can retire to the Zima room, where the girls will remove their shoes, with which they will beat the patrons in time with christian metal music.
The menu will include bacon-wrapped hot dogs, pork liver pate, and clams au gratin. Every table will have a shaker of bacon salt.
Are you paying attention Loadberg? Loadberg?
DAS said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:44
how many years can the same ol shit be funny? – bklyn
People still laugh at the “waiter taste the soup” joke. But maybe that’s only because Eddie Murphy tells it so well.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:47
Sometimes the same old shit stops being funny, so you keep doing it with the knowledge that it’s not funny, and then it gets funny again. Don’t ask me to explain.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:47
This thread raises a good question: Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:48
Somebody’s gotta keep an eye on the heathens. Plus, it gives them one more thing to bitch about.
Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:52
Somebody’s gotta keep an eye on the heathens. Plus, it gives them one more thing to bitch about.
Bingo.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:54
Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
They receive subsidized housing from the government due to a court-mandated program to increase the city’s diversity.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:54
They seem to be pretty good at bitching about the Big City Librul Establishment no matter where they live. They can do it just as well in Oklahoma as they could in Librul Hell City.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:55
Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
They don’t. The Wolfen eat them.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:56
B^4 is back!
Everyone guard your women and children!Hi buddy!Chris said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:58
They don’t. The Wolfen eat them.
Wonderful! Any chance Washington DC could borrow said Wolfen? Just for the next time the loud rednecks with misspelt protest signs start cluttering up my metro again?
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:04
Just for the next time the loud rednecks with misspelt protest signs start cluttering up my metro again?
Just scare them away with your scary
blackurban youth playing their “rap” music and talking loud.smedley said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:05
“Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?”
Limbaugh addressed this about 15 years ago. Basically, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:06
B^4 is back!
I was going to say that, but I thought maybe I had just accidentally ignored him…
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:07
then it gets funny again. Don’t ask me to explain.
A fair chunk of Monty Python’s Flying Circus is this exact thing. It doesn’t always work.
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:09
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
That was supposed to be funny? I thought it was informative.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:10
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:10
B^4 is back!
Yeah, a week in the North Woods, and I came home to a Zardoz infestation!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:10
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:35 (kill)
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Boobs in a halter top?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:13
That was supposed to be funny? I thought it was informative.
Hm. I may have misunderstood the entire point to Monty Python.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:13
A fair chunk of Monty Python’s Flying Circus is this exact thing. It doesn’t always work.
Yeah, I think when it works, it WORKS, but when it doesn’t, it’s terrible.
I think the best example is a lot of the stuff that Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster do on The Best Show on WFMU. So much so that you have to listen a few times to get the hang of it. But when you do, it’s fucking funny.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:14
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
I voted a week ago, dammit.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:14
Boobs in a halter top?
Or, if you turn your head the other way, Needle-Dick Johnson, Terror of the Insect World.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:14
Boobs in a halter top?
That was supposed to be a heart, but now I see it…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:16
…. I came home to a Zardoz infestation!
shhh. Nobody here knows what that means.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:16
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
BTW, you’re on the “not funny” portion of this joke. I’m not sure it gets funny again, though.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:17
I’m laughing.
PopeRatzo said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:17
Seriously, is anyone surprised that extremist Muslims want to kill us? You’d think they’d be willing to destroy Washington DC just to get Gutfeld and Goldberg.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:18
I’m laughing.
Just because you know it pisses me off!
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:18
Hey, maybe the new conservapiggly across from the Al Qa’ida training camp near the WTC could serve more recipes from crazy “stop the school lunch parasites and cook nasty cheese water.”
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:21
Why would they do that? I’m sure Al Qa’ida wants people like Goldbutt to have as much influence here as possible, because it hastens our collapse.
Why do you think Al Qa’ida came out and said they didn’t want Bush Jr. re-elected — they didn’t think that the American public would vote along the lines of what Al Qa’ida wanted.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:22
I’m laughing.
Just because you know it pisses me off!
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:23
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
Whatever. That sounds hot.
Angry Geometer said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:24
you know who else hates gays? evil mooslim terrorists
Say what you will about the tenets of Islamofascism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:26
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:27
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
Or is that not what you meant?
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:27
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
What? What’s number one? Why are you calling me? WHAT?
Oh.
Never mind.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:28
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
Right? I guess conservatives aren’t all that bad after all.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:28
I’d have naked women eating
porkwhole wheat sammiches on wheat bread in front of you.Fitsed for more Truculentility.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:30
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
It is pretty goddamn disgusting outside… and this after a week lakeside, in the clean mountain air.
My sense of timing is teh suxx0r.
N__B said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:30
Truculentility
The word you are searching for, sir, is TruckNutz.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:30
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
I’ll bet we have you beat. What’s your humidity and heat index?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:31
Fitsed for more Truculentility.
Okay, that would make me cry.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:34
Actually, croissants would be worse.
dlauthor said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:36
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:35 (kill)
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Boobs in a halter top?
Two bits.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:36
whole wheat sammiches on wheat bread
Wheat sandwiches? Could it be … seitan?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:39
seitan
Said dance!
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:40
Could it be … seitan?
I don’t like the way that word is spelt.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:42
Rye puns regarding baked goods again? YAY!
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:44
I’ll bet we have you beat. What’s your humidity and heat index?
91 degrees, heat index 93.
It’s actually better than I thought it would be outside.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:44
Rye puns regarding baked goods again?
Well, cupcake, you know if there’s a pun to be had, we’ll millet.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:47
91 degrees, heat index 93.
God, I fucking hate the humidity here. It’s 94 with a heat index of 111. I think the relative humidity has actually decreased in the last couple of days, although we’re supposed to have a storm tomorrow.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:49
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow. I donut want to do it in this weather…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:52
I donut want to do it in this weather…
The hole of your furniture and everything?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:56
The hole of your furniture and everything?
Yup. And naan wants to help me!
Willy said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:57
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow. I donut want to do it in this weather…
Piece of cake.
guitarist manqué said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:58
I donut want to do it in this weather…
You sure it’s spelt that way?
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:58
Wheat do you expect? Pumpernickel in your friends’ gas budget and maybe you’ll get some help.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:59
Wheat do you expect? Pumpernickel in your friends’ gas budget and maybe you’ll get some help.
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
No-Visible-Means said,
August 10, 2010 at 20:59
Heh.
http://thechive.com/2010/08/10/girl-quits-her-job-on-dry-erase-board-emails-entire-office-33-photos/
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:00
Uh-oh. Self-sustaining pun chain alert.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:01
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
Always the braid, never ther braidsmaid…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:03
I guess that’s what I get for not brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:05
I guess that’s what I get for not brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
I’m sure you’ll get it done, one way or an oven.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:06
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
Well gee, you have to flour the people you love with love, give yeast a little of yourself, and you’ll leaven new friendships in no time. Not that that’ll help you tamale; I guess you’ll just have to get off your buns and do it yourself. Start easy, soon you’ll be on a roll.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:08
brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
Ow!
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:09
I guess you’ll just have to get off your buns and do it yourself. Start easy, soon you’ll be on a roll.
Such a hero.
You know, it’s easy taco and give advice like that, but when push comes to shove, where are you?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:10
Ow!
I phrased that poorly. I would never batter someone that way.
Marion in Savannah said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:11
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow.
My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:12
I phrased that poorly. I would never batter someone that way.
D’Ough!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:16
My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…
Yeah, I can barley stand it.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:16
I mean, not to be bulgur, but it fucking sucks.
d'oh said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:17
speaking of bridge building, it looks like the bridge to nowhere is now a stairway to heaven. or summpin.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:19
If each time you people whined you could earn a dollar and baguette, then you’d be hauling a panaton if you wheeled it around.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:21
If each time you people whined you could earn a dollar and baguette, then you’d be hauling a panaton if you wheeled it around.
By crumb, I do like to whine. I actually consider it a part of my personal bran.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:22
By crumb, I do like to whine. I actually consider it a part of my personal bran.
The French call it “bringing le pain”.
RobNYNY1957 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:22
“My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…”
I think the reason that exile is considered a form of punishment is not because it’s so awful living in, say, France. It’s because moving is miserable.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:26
The French call it “bringing le pain”.
Yes. Everyone should pita me.
justme said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:30
Always looks like a fart to me.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:30
Yes. Everyone should pita me.
You certainly have reason to crepe.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:34
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:35
Ooops. Last 2 sentences mine. I apologize for any injera caused.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:36
Ooops. Last 2 sentences mine. I apologize for any injera caused.
Clearly, your HTML skills are crusty.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:40
Yeah, but such attitudes soon crumble, as peoples’ tiring of hearing it puts a damper on these sentiments.
Why do you raise this issue? You have no proof of this. And there’s no need to be so sourdough.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:41
Why do you raise this issue? You have no proof of this. And there’s no need to be so sourdough.
It seems he was far more interested in panning the entire comment, instead of kneading to explain himself.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:43
It seems he was far more interested in panning the entire comment, instead of kneading to explain himself.
That bagels the question: why is he being such a batard?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:46
That bagels the question: why is he being such a batard?
Bialy accounts, he’s got two parents.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:48
Maybe he just feels the need to be cruller than the rest of us.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:50
I marble at the rye turn this thread has taken.
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:53
Ya know I always wnt to play in these threads but I can never think of anything to contribute. It’s like my punny bone is broken.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:53
Maybe he just feels the need to be cruller than the rest of us.
He may think he’s teff, but there’s not a kernel of truth in what he’s saying.
Mr. T said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:54
I pita the boule who takes my sammich!!!!!
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:54
We often rise to the occasion, though weakness may tempt us to wafer.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:55
Ya know I always wnt to play in these threads but I can never think of anything to contribute. It’s like my punny bone is broken.
Matso fast! I’m sure you have lavash to say!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:56
Uh, that’s should be a “z” in matzo. I’m so poolish.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:57
Uh, that’s should be a “z” in matzo. I’m so poolish.
Heel, girl. “S” is acceptable in some dialects.
KWillow said,
August 10, 2010 at 21:59
“Are these people children-?” I’d say, No, not children, these people’s development seems stuck in the early-adolescent phase 12-14 when the meanest aspects of Human Nature are experimented with along with sex and drugs. Maybe Loadpants & pals never tried the sex & drugs scene, so they’re just stuck as malicious, nay malevolent refugees from the bubble-bum set who’ll never be accepted in real TeenAger Land.
They’re all “Queen Bees & WannaBees”
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:00
Hushpuppy, you just haven’t tried. No one will think you’re a macaroon for trying even if you begin with a lady fingered touch, even if it comes off a little tart.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:00
Heel, girl. “S” is acceptable in some dialects.
Ah, so I was right to waffle on that.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:01
Focaccia selves! Biscuts me to the quick to say but you’re all just being nuts.
LittlePig said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:02
Christ on a cracker, folks are in a mood this afternoon.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:02
Hushpuppy, you just haven’t tried. No one will think you’re a macaroon for trying even if you begin with a lady fingered touch, even if it comes off a little tart.
I agree. Just do what your marzipan. Nobody will get sorghum.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:02
Focaccia selves! Biscuts me to the quick to say but you’re all just being nuts.
Ciabatta watch out!
LittlePig said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:02
Still having to wipe away the tears from that one.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:03
Christ on a cracker, folks are in a mood this afternoon.
It’s all ciabatta the bread we’re not making.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:04
Dammit!
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:05
Well I’m laughing now, if nothing else. I kneaded that.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:07
It’s all ciabatta the bread we’re not making.
Not so when rice it happens to choux, huh?
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:07
If this bothers you so mulch, I guess those never ending ’80s music threads must have you down on all petits fours. They say you can butter attract flies to honey than with vinegar. And if it takes some egging on, then hope that fortune smiles upon you.
But if you do want to complain, let no one bar your way to half-baked objections.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:09
Not so when rice it happens to choux, huh?
I don’t rub your nose in it, which is biga me.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:09
Well I’m laughing now, if nothing else. I kneaded that.
See? We could totally make a profiterole from this!
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:10
But if you do want to complain, let no one bar your way to half-baked objections.
I think you’re slicing this awfully fine.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:11
However, we might eventually roux the day we started this when there’s no crisp ending.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:12
However, we might eventually roux the day we started this when there’s no crisp ending.
I’m rather fond of these threads.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:13
I don’t rub your nose in it, which is biga me.
Am I supposed to toast you for that? Keep waiting, broa!
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:13
This just takes the cake. I’ll be shortening my time here if you treat me like that. At least N__B hasn’t weighed in to bear claw me. I’m no cream puff, you know. Pie know which side of my bread is buttered.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:15
This just takes the cake. I’ll be shortening my time here if you treat me like that. At least N__B hasn’t weighed in to bear claw me. I’m no cream puff, you know. Pie know which side of my bread is buttered.
Don’t be such a cream puff. Strudel get over it.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:15
Am I supposed to toast you for that? Keep waiting, broa!
Look, I take these disparate threads and gluten together, K?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:17
Look, I take these disparate threads and gluten together, K?
I do eclaire, you’re awfully filo yourself!
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:18
Don’t be such a cream puff. Strudel get over it.
Maybe if he listened to some reggae? I know when I’m feeling edgy, I start to hamantash or Marley and everything feels so much better.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:18
Flatkaka.
Just Flatkaka.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:18
Yeah, you start with one thread and think you can quit, and then someone might be in torta’f a bind and their sticky buns are caught in the middle of any number of layers of references, it gets all stale, and they’re trying to figure out some way to bundt.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:19
Just Flatkaka.
*facepalmier*
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:20
I do eclaire, you’re awfully filo yourself!
All these hot cross puns again! Don’t get so croissant with me. You’ll find yourself fighting in beignet.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:20
they’re trying to figure out some way to bundt
Well, then we can just borek.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:21
*facepalmier*
Poor guy cannoli keep up as best he can. Cut him some slack.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:23
For at least a while this is a lot more fun than an office mixer. At least here you can blend in better with people in the fold. You feel like you can still separate rather than mold together in one big bag, though there’s still time to rest.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:24
For at least a while this is a lot more fun than an office mixer.
So you crostata off your list?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:25
I feel slightly ashamed maizing all these puns, but I crouton doing it…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:25
I hope VS has been lurking, I’d hate to think she’s scone because she couldn’t play.
Djur said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:26
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/32534.html
And I swear that isn’t the first one, and actor has done a biga pun before.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:26
You feel like you can still separate rather than mold together in one big bag, though there’s still time to rest.
I’m fondant of that, as well.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:27
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
Don’t judge. I missed the first one.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:28
actor has done a biga pun before.
Well, the biga they are…
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:29
And I swear that isn’t the first one, and actor has done a biga pun before.
Says you!
Sesame, this is only the second one in a couple of weeks.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:31
What’s your beef? You chicken? Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:33
Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
For veal, man!
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:34
What’s your beef? You chicken? Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
Dude just comes bullion in, thinking he’s all that.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:34
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
Proof?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:35
Dude just comes bullion in, thinking he’s all that.
Maybe he’s gelatinous.
Anonymous said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:35
bubble GUM set. Scowl.
My daughter is 12 and I’ve been watching her and her sweet friends turn into MONSTERS right before my eyes. NOW I understand the seemingly cruel phenomena called ACNE: it is there to MARK these creatures so everyone who sees them will realize how dangerous they are.
I bet Loadpants still has SEVERE acne.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:36
Maybe you can’t appreciate these threads until they’ve aged a bit. Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:37
Lurkin’ and laughin’ between working on my current project. Or should I say “currant”? I know, I know…it ain’t great, but I’ll keep trying.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:38
Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
That’s still no reason to come in all rump and butcher us.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:38
Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
It’s good to let it stew a little. Then you’ll wishbone you’d never said anything.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:38
Maybe he’s gelatinous.
I see what you do here.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:40
Muffin you all go on like this?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:42
Muffin you all go on like this?
You can’t take a good ribbing? Maybe you should leave and come back tomarrow.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:42
I’ve got a haunch we’ve moved on from bread puns.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:43
Meat me halfway, huh?
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:43
These aren’t a bunch of trotters passing by the counter, they write the best puns they can think of and are on the hook for how their hangers go.
jim said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:43
Someone with a helpful nature needs to e-mail Geller & her fellow bottom-feeders & let them know that one of the worst sins in Islam is suicide.
Perhaps a map indicating local high cliffs could be included.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:44
I’ll be loin in the weeds on this one.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:44
These aren’t a bunch of trotters passing by the counter, they write the best puns they can think of and are on the hook for how their hangers go.
Good one. Did you go to collegen?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:45
I’ve got a haunch we’ve moved on from bread puns.
Stew got it!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:45
I’ll be loin in the weeds on this one.
It’s probably good not to have a steak in this one. You never know who will get the chop.
(God, why do puns make me feel so *dirty*?)
Till Eulenspiegel said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:45
I’m not sure if it’s strange or totally consistent that Germany seems to lack the kind of racist movement that’s present at least in France, Britain (BNP), Belgium (Vlaams Blok and its succesors), and Italy (Lega Nord).
There’s the usual bit of anti-immigration politicking in reaction to the large number of Turkish immigrants. And there’s the very very fringe neo-Nazi NPD. But as far as I can tell, really no sense of grassroots Islamophobia that’s so obvious elsewhere.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:46
So if I said, “It’s just gristle for the mill,” would that be a cross-species pun?
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:47
For a long time, and it was a burden to shoulder, as I got tired of being pounded by the rhythm of any professor’s drumstick.
77south said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:47
one of the worst sins in Islam is suicide.
Onoz. If you let her know this, she may come to the realization that suicide bombers are terrorists. And terrorists are hard describe as good Muslims. And maybe she’ll stop demonizing an entire religion of a billion or so people based on the actions of a few violent extremists.
Looch said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:47
I suppose I would just roast in hell, instead.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:51
I always go for it, stick your blade in where ever it cuts. Anyone who thinks sinews everything is just a crock.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:53
Anyone who thinks sinews everything is just a crock.
I tendon disagree withers you.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:56
It’s fine — I’m not too tenderized when it comes to disagreement. In fact I should shank you for paying me mutton of attention.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:57
Y’all are such hams.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 22:59
I’d chuck a compliment in your direction, but it cuts against my grain to do so.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:00
In fact I should shank you for paying me mutton of attention.
You’re welcome, and I flank you for your courtesy.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:00
I tendon disagree withers you.
Yeah, but you’re a well known ham. Pork-que is your tongue so sharp?
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:00
DAMMIT
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:01
Yeah, but you’re a well known ham. Pork-que is your tongue so sharp?
That’s okay. It was worth a bull fry.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:02
You must’ve out-typed me because you’re such a clean liver.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:03
And you have such heart.
I am not posting too quickly.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:03
You must’ve out-typed me because you’re such a clean liver.
Are you kidney me? My habits are offal!
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:08
Don’t skirt the issue — we’ll see how it all carves up by the bottom round.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:09
T&U, you’re so cute I just want to chuck you under the chin.
justme said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:09
Here I was, about to say that bread puns were the yeast of our worrys. Perhaps I need to hold my tongue.
Djur said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:11
Personally, I think you should all be ashamed to fill up these threads with such self-indulgent tripe. I think you need to reassess your life — maybe go talk to a spiritual guide, a priest or al pastor.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:12
Well, we all need to stay grounded, because threads like these are no picnic.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:13
T&U, you’re so cute I just want to chuck you under the chin.
Aww, you’re so sweetbread!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:14
Well, we all need to stay grounded, because threads like these are no picnic ham.
Fixded for greater meatiness.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:16
Actually I think we’ll all roast for this. Really, it’s thigh time we got serious. Sitting around bacon jokes is not going to make the world better.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:17
We aren’t just a bunch of giblets here ’cause it’s our necks we’re sticking out. It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:19
It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
And here I thought it was rather brisket.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:20
Well you tell us which fork in the road to take, because bad puns make people mad enough to spit.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:20
We aren’t just a bunch of giblets here ’cause it’s our necks we’re sticking out. It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
You turkey. I’m just trying to help out. No need to be so tenderloin.
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:20
“Actually I think we’ll all roast for this. Really, it’s thigh time we got serious. Sitting around bacon jokes is not going to make the world better.”
Or butter.
justme said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:21
Well, if you sesos.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:25
Well, if you sesos.
She is the brains of the outfit, indeed.
El Cid said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:26
Yeah, so you caught me eye this time, butt it ends here, from tip to tail, and anyone who thinks otherwise can go kabobbing out of here.
justme said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:28
That’s it. I need a birria.
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:29
I just appreciate all the gentle ribs that go back and forth around here.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:30
The fact is, if we let them build this mosque in New York the Caliphate Wil Have Established Itself in the USA and we loose the war on terror.
Liberals always cheer against USA and freedom.
justme said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:32
Wow. It sure sounds like Gary has a steak in the matter.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:35
Gary has a steak in the matter.
All I saw was pie – steak and kidney pie?
M. Bouffant said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:49
Always hungry
I’m in heat
Never, never
Never enough meat
Whale Chowder said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:50
The funny thing is, I was listening to Pink Floyd’s “Animelles” while this was going on.
vacuumslayer said,
August 10, 2010 at 23:57
Does Gary misspell things on purpose? Because he does it in every goddamn post. It almost seems like a put-on.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:05
It almost seems like a put-on.
THE HELL YOU SAY.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:15
Sorry, I’ll stop yelling. Come back?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:28
NO.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:31
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
When many pundits were calling the Republican party dead after the 2008 election, Obama couldn’t leave well enough alone. He drew the battle lines of class warfare.
All Obama did was energize Conservatives like me, give rise to the Tea Party and cause several Democrats to lose elections or not run for re-election at all (otherwise known as “I want to spend more time with my children”).
Now Paul Krugman doesn’t like the Conservative push-back. Tough.
Just in case there’s any confusion, here’s what I want (I’ll let other Conservatives speak for themselves).
I want back every penny of tax money that has ever been wasted on societal leeches, lamebrain liberal programs, bailouts for union employers and protecting “sacred” teachers.
I don’t care if every street light stays off, I don’t care if public employee rolls get cut in half, I don’t care if unemployment goes to 15 percent. Not a penny more in higher taxes.
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath, if those are the best comebacks you’ve got. But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle and we will finish it. My Conservative brothers and I will vote this nation into austerity one way or another, and there’s nothing Obama can do to stop it now. It’s his own fault.
jim said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:38
This shit just got real
Oh yes indeed it has.
_____ / ______ 2012: Because Not Knowing Who You Just Elected Is Half The Fun!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:44
Best. Court. Testimony. EVER.
Nymstradamus said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:46
I’m confused. Is that real Gary or fake Gary? Oh Poe’s Law, why do you vex me so!
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:48
Failing to dream up any food-related puns, Gary is reduced to copy-pasta-ing from a NYTimes comment thread. Meta-humour!
Also, UNLEASH THE GENIE!!
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:49
All Obama did was energize
Conservativesracists like me…Fikst for moar honesty.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:51
My Conservative brothers and I will vote this nation into
austeritybankruptcy one way or another…C’mon, Gar, what you need is a good editor.
Nymstradamus said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:51
I don’t care if unemployment goes to 15 percent. Not a penny more in higher taxes.
Oh please, please, PLEASE make that the 2010 GOP campaign slogan!!!
Larkspur said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:55
This is just too much for me. You all seem to have the secret starter bubbling away where I can’t find it, then I say something that falls flat, and then y’all stand around and groat about it. I am not going to let you all reel me in just so you can make fin of me while I flounder. I will leave this currant; surely a better current is out there.
DrDick said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:55
But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle
Ummm, no! It was Ronald Reagan who decided to declare war on the working people of America for the benefit of the parasitic rentier and managerial classes. And we shall surely finish it. What’s your neck size, Gary? I want to be sure we have the right guillotine in stock.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 0:59
I want to be sure we have the right guillotine in stock.
I thought we voted for a cliff.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:03
And we could just chuck Gary the clod off.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:13
surely a better current is out there
The great Tesla/Edison debate is renewed.
tigris said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:32
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:34
But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle
God, I hate these people. Thirty years of annihilating wages in the private sector, thirty years of taking a piss on the poor and calling it “trickle down economics…” And then all of a sudden when the poor start fighting back they bitch and whine that it’s unfair.
Jesus Christ, people! You’re rugged individualists! Pull yourselves together! Take charge of the war you started!
Richard Nixon said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:36
Now Paul Krugman doesn’t like the Conservative push-back. Tough.
What the hell is it with the Jews, Gary? By God, there are exceptions. But Gary, generally speaking, you can’t trust the bastards. They turn on us.
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 1:47
I am tired of all this class warfare from the scumbag majority who keeps mouthing up quietly about the super-rich getting richer and the majority getting devastated. It makes you sick of these proletarians feeding their own worst urges.
Richard Nixon said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:07
Man.
Sorry about your thread, folks. I’m going to leave now, so you won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.
Whale Chowder said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:11
…and take Checkers with you!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:18
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
Um, what?
So the fact that it started under Bush means nothing? And isn’t it a CONSERVATIVE meme to do more with less?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:18
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath, if those are the best comebacks you’ve got.
How little credit you give us…
“Fucking loon” springs to mind.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:21
He’s more of a median Republican.
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:27
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath
If the shoe fits, etc.
Malaclypse said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:31
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
The fact is, I call Fake Gary. Real Gary could not spell momentum, austerity, misbegotten, or redistribution correctly.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:33
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
I’m in favor.
Wingnut Punditry said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:33
So fact that it started under Bush means nothing?
History began on January 20, 2009.
Who is this Bush fellow you speak of?
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:34
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:34
Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
VOPR?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 2:38
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
So is what he drinks a cliffotini?
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:07
What happened was that Bush Sr. was cheated out of office by Ross Perot. Bill Clinton came in and ruined the economy until Newt Gingrich balanced the budget. But in the meantime Clinton had hollowed out the military because he was a draft dodging stoner and this made him rape a lot of women and kill children with trains while running drugs out of Arkansas.
Then Al Gore tried to steal some election, and then Bill Clinton let 9/11 happen.
Then we brought in George W. Bush Jr. as Commander Guy to KeepUSafe from another attack and stop Saddam Hussein from invading the USA and taking our babies off of respirators to feed them to Al Qa’ida. Then Bush Jr. did the SURGE which fixed everything in Iraq.
A little bit later after being saved from Al Qaidaban gaysexual attack, Kenyonesian Barack Obama took the Presidency by ACORN and SEIU thugs and caused the economy to collapse by handing trillions of dollars to Jew bankers and Fannie and Freddie because Jimmy Carter used the CRA to make banks give free houses to coloreds who couldn’t afford them and by making the deficit kill all the jobs and taxing us into high inflation.
Since then Tea Party revolutionaries copied the Constitution and the Founding Fathers down on secret notepads so the Obama spies couldn’t burn them and they fought against Stalinist forces to try and stop Obamacare from killing all our grandparents.
This is what happened and why it is crazy for damn socialist libruls to think that George W. Bush Jr. was President when he clearly never was and it was all Bill Clinton, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Nancy Pelosi, and then Barack Obama and Bill Ayers.
Nymstradamus said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:08
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
Unfortunately the character of Cliff Clavin was ruined for me when I found out that John Ratzenberger is currently a Teabagger.
Then again, who better to play a yutz than a yutz?
Nymstradamus said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:14
This is what happened and why it is crazy for damn socialist libruls to think that George W. Bush Jr. was President when he clearly never was
Almost 10 years later and the wingnuts finally reach the same conclusion some people already made on December 12, 2000.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:16
Then Bush Jr. did the SURGE which fixed everything in Iraq.
Not that there was anything to fix in the first place, of course.
A little bit later after being saved from Al Qaidaban gaysexual attack, Kenyonesian Barack Obama took the Presidency
Kenyonesia? That sounds like a fun country. Can we go to war with Kenyonesia next?
Nymstradamus said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:20
That last post of yours is an eerily accurate replica of the wingnut mindset , El Cid.
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:31
That is totally wrong. In 2006 the election of the party of traitors to Congress meant that Al Qa’ida knew that Nancy Pelosi would make the American people think that Iraq was a mess.
Before Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry could start giving money to have Al Qa’ida kill US troops as we retreated with white flags and diapers, Commander Guy Bush Jr. called in General David Gaius Glaucus Julius Marcus Aurelius Antonio Banderas Petraeus, and he single-handedly stopped the Democrats and the librul Jew media traitors from surrendering our military to Ahmedinajad and went on to make everything great in Iraq.
Since Commander Guy fixed Iraq we are now able to stay in Iraq forever thanks to our SURGE victory.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:31
That last post of yours is an eerily accurate replica of the wingnut mindset , El Cid.
*Squints at El Cid*
Ya’ll got some ID there, fellah?
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:34
Only my Minutemen militia badge and my gold-plated Confederate flag.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:38
The fact of the matter is …
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:46
Here’s how it will go down.
wiley said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:47
So is the pork supposed to work like kryptonite or something?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:50
Here’s how it will go down.
There’s another one almost as good;
People like him are the reason nobody believed Cassandra.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 3:51
So is the pork supposed to work like kryptonite or something?
No, that’s scrapple. It will kill anything.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 4:00
Just watched Malcolm Reynolds put a huge tattooed gangster through an engine, for the tenth or eleventh time. That really never gets old.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 11, 2010 at 4:08
Good old Cap’n Mal.
lobbey said,
August 11, 2010 at 4:23
Nan of you are serious,
oh, we’ve moved onto meat; theres going to be a kofta to pay!
Anonymous said,
August 11, 2010 at 4:32
Larkspur: “secret starter bubbling”… Very well expressed. I admire and enjoy the punny thread, but alas! “punny” is the best I can do in that area.
KWillow said,
August 11, 2010 at 4:33
That was me.
John Revolta said,
August 11, 2010 at 5:03
And FDR! You forgot FDR!!
El Cid said,
August 11, 2010 at 5:14
I didn’t have to. Ronald Reagan undid everything that Communist ever did, except the stuff he didn’t.
Random SwankDroppings (SM) said,
August 11, 2010 at 5:23
I said: “I’ll see you in divorce court. At 71, I’m not used to having a child’s car seat in my life. It’s like having cocaine. It’s just not me.”
Random SwankDroppings (SM) said,
August 11, 2010 at 5:26
Therefore, Jesus in my President. The Word of God declares that Jesus, returning from the dead to defy death and the grave, is the Ruler Maximum.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2010 at 5:43
Imagine a picture of some guy standing next to a huge prop ruler.
Thank you. My work here is done.
lobbey said,
August 11, 2010 at 6:07
Breitbart, sex with goat shocker, Mickey Kaus unavailable for comment:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ce276af14/andrew-breitbart-has-sex-with-goats?rel=player
justme said,
August 11, 2010 at 6:27
I’ve been waiting for the, um, creatively edited snippets of Blartblart to start showing up. I’ve been tempted to make some, but of course, that would involve actually watching clips of him, and my stomach just ain’t that strong.
stryx said,
August 11, 2010 at 7:00
General David Gaius Glaucus Julius Marcus Aurelius Antonio Banderas Petraeus
Is this the Am I Not Merciful guy or the I’ll have my vengeance in this life or next guy?
KWillow said,
August 11, 2010 at 7:16
This is the guy who looks like a turtle.
Spengler Dampniche said,
August 11, 2010 at 7:40
Who make Trig have many, many good days in a row. I remove my headcovering to this exquisite construction.
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
August 11, 2010 at 8:36
Unfortunately, many of our compatriots are stuck in the pig-iron age.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 12:56
It is not right for someone to have hair that so much resembles the lid of a flip-top rubbish-bin. When I look at that picture I cannot help imagining that if you step on Jonah’s foot, the top of his head lifts up.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 13:07
And FDR! You forgot FDR!!
Ronald Reagan claims he never left the party, the party left him… so it’s all good, FDR would have been one of them if he were alive today.
N__B said,
August 11, 2010 at 13:14
When I look at that picture I cannot help imagining that if you step on Jonah’s foot, the top of his head lifts up.
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
[step] “A equals A” [flip]
[step] “Cut taxes! Laffer curve!” [flip]
And so on.
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 13:30
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
“C’mon Mom! A little privacy, please!”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 14:49
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
It’s going to suck, isn’t it?
Looch said,
August 11, 2010 at 14:52
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
To tie in thread threads:
“Always be a good burger!”
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 14:56
Good morning, fuckers.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 14:58
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
Wait, is this the same as Let the Right One in?
Because that movie was some mean fucking perfection.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 14:59
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
J. J. Abrams skeptics of the world, unite…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:00
Wait, is this the same as Let the Right One in?
Yes, sorry, that’s what I meant. They changed the title to “Let Me In.” And yes, it was amazing. This looks terrible. I couldn’t hear the preview, but it looks like they made it into a thriller. And they refer to the vampire character as “she.”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:00
J. J. Abrams skeptics of the world, unite…
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:01
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
Which you watch from the comfort of a chaise lounge sipping your cliffotini.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:02
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
My mistake. Who was the director? So I know to avoid him.
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:02
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
Could be worse. Could be Michael Bay, in which case Elli and Oliver blow up.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:06
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
It had some excellent moments – I thought I was going to have a coronary during the scene at the IRS office – but it’s not great.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:06
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
So can we discuss the final season of Lost? Someone please tell me it was good and I just wasn’t paying enough attention.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:06
Which you watch from the comfort of a chaise lounge sipping your cliffotini.
AHEM.
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:06
Answering my own question – Matt Reeves, who apparently met J. J. Abrams when he was 13. And he wrote “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?” Heckuva reference, Brownie.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:07
Bite me. I assume no responsibility for reading a thread that doesn’t feature me.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:08
Under Siege 2 was the best of the sequels.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:08
So can we discuss the final season of Lost? Someone please tell me it was good and I just wasn’t paying enough attention.
Nobody wants to hear me complain about that again…
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:09
Where exactly did Ted Stevens’ plane crash?
Chris said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:10
Under Siege 2 was the best of the sequels.
There were other sequels? Man.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:12
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
Two words: Steve. Carrell.
Nuff said. It sucked.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:12
Where exactly did Ted Stevens’ plane crash?
Twenty miles northeast of Dillingham Alaska.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:21
Twenty miles northeast of Dillingham Alaska.
And Samaritans helped the survivors? Talk about a diaspora.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:24
And Samaritans helped the survivors? Talk about a diaspora.
Well played.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:35
Bite me. I assume no responsibility for reading a thread that doesn’t feature me.
I assume that was directed at me? I’m normally an equal-opportunity “AHEM”er, but I suppose I can make an exception for you. And your ego.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:36
Answering my own question – Matt Reeves, who apparently met J. J. Abrams when he was 13. And he wrote “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?” Heckuva reference, Brownie.
*sob* This movie is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:43
*sob* This movie is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:44
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
Oh, God. I’m *always* that person. I hate myself.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:47
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
Your comment was much funnier in the original Swedish:
Ja, men du kan gå omkring och berätta alla dina vänner om hur mycket bättre det svenska originalet. Ingen ogillar den personen.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:47
bork bork bork
Disgruntled Lurker said,
August 11, 2010 at 15:54
Your comment was much funnier in the original Swedish:
That made a little bit of coffee come out my nose.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2010 at 16:08
That made a little bit of coffee come out my nose.
Drinking problem, eh?
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2010 at 21:18
you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was.
Also, “Insomnia”.