Aug
4
4
K-Lo: Shortered And Fixed
ABOVE: K-Loaded
Shorter K-Lo, America’s Shittiest Website™
Re: Cesar’s Phone Booth
- Who let the beaner in here???
K-Lo, America’s Shittiest Website™
Re: Cesar’s Phone Booth FIXED
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:44
As a pro-immigration conservative (yes, I know, we could fit in a phone booth),
Sadly, No!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:46
Oh, that wasn’t her. Meh.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:48
SO tempted to get out of the boat. So tempted.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:51
Mark Krikorian, the author of “The New Case Against Immigration, Both Legal and Illegal”? Toooootally not anti-immigration.
mmy said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:55
Never get out of the boat on an ASW post. No comments means no fever swamp to give the mangoes that tangy flavor.
Pryme said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:56
Shorter Beck: “White Natioanlists? I meant White Lanterns. I love that comic! .
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 18:58
I’m disturbed by thinking about the situations at ASW that involve K-Lo and staff playing “games.”
Oblio's Cap said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:01
You’ve got it all wrong, tigris. He’s a leading light of the conservative intellectual movement. That means he can’t be a racist.
I see why they don’t allow comments. They’re scared some of the ones that they get would be used against them.
mmy said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:01
Also, I don’t quite get it. Why is K-Lo bringing Krikorian into the debate? Even if the picture were a screenshot (I assumed it’s a photoshop), there’s nothing relating her post to Cesar’s except the title.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:02
Oh, I’m a dumbass. There is no need to get out of the boat.
S. cerevisiae said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:04
Yeah, the comments there would make Yahoo look sane.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:04
Kathryn Jean Lopez? Has anyone seen her papers? Someone contact that Arizona sheriff. I think we may have an illegal stealing a wingnut welfare job from a real American.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:07
Kathryn Jean Lopez? Has anyone seen her papers?
In K-Lo’s case, “Lopez” simply means that she breaks open at the waist to dispense candy, rather than at the neck.
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:09
Has anyone seen her papers?
She took them in to Cesar’s phonebooth and “hid” them.
Now Jonah gets to play liberal fascist and strip search her.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:11
Now Jonah gets to play liberal fascist and strip search her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:13
“The only way to change KLo’s behavior is to get her fixed,” whispered Cesar.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:21
I just want to talk about this jacket for a second…it’s, like, Members Only officewear or something. Seriously. What is going on with it?
Oblio's Cap said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:21
In K-Lo’s case, “Lopez” simply means that she breaks open at the waist to dispense candy, rather than at the neck.
Well said.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:23
He’s a leading light of the conservative intellectual movement. That means he can’t be a racist.
I don’t know if he’s a racist or not, and I suppose in theory it’s possible to be against immigration and not be a racist, but somebody who’s against even legal immigration is anti-immigration by definition, so KLo is still wrong wrong wrong.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:24
I just want to talk about this jacket for a second…it’s, like, Members Only officewear or something. Seriously. What is going on with it?
Nuh uh. First we discuss what’s in her hand. Is that the jawbone of a small animal garnished with an orange slice?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:24
That means he can’t be a racist.
You racist!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:25
Nuh uh. First we discuss what’s in her hand. Is that the jawbone of a small animal garnished with an orange slice?
Uh oh. Looks like a Negroni to me.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:28
Uh oh. Looks like a Negroni to me.
Aren’t Negronis served in old fashioned glasses? I’ll bet it’s some gnarly “martini.”
tsam said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:29
I’m disturbed by thinking about the situations at ASW that involve K-Lo and staff playing “games.”
Ticklefight! Woot!
DrDick said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:30
I suppose in theory it’s possible to be against immigration and not be a racist
Which of course is why the right was totally unconcerned with immigration until most immigrants were of a dusky hue. Not much of a peep out of them over illegal immigration in the 1980s when most illegals were from Ireland and Poland.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:32
If they did allow comments, someone might point out to K-Lo that if she traveled through Arizona, she would need to carry her birth certificate (the vault copy) to prove her citizenship. At that point, K-Lo’s worldview would crumble. Ipso facto, no comments allowed at ASW.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:34
Uh oh. Looks like a Negroni to me.
If she’s drinking a Negroni, I’m Sarah Palin. I’m betting Flirtini.
Katherine Jean Lopez's vagina said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:34
I stink. Like, bad.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:37
Yuck on *so many* levels.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:38
K-Lo: Shortered¹ And Fixed²
¹ Is that possible?
² I don’t think she was in any danger of breeding, but…
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:38
Whatever the drink is, you can tell by her expression that it is putting her into the party mood.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:39
Aren’t Negronis served in old fashioned glasses?
Not in my house, dear. Simply everything is better in a ‘tini glass.
Long before I had even heard of the Negroni I once invented* a drink of Campari and gin. Called it a “spayed gerbil.” I suspect this fact was brought to mind by the ‘KLo fixed’ meme.
*By ‘invent’ I mean that’s all that was left in the house.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:39
Whatever the drink is, you can tell by her expression that it is putting her into the party mood.
Oh, yeah. She’s about to jump on a table and take her top off any second…
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:40
² I don’t think she was in any danger of breeding, but…
I’m telling you, those games of Border Guard vs. Illegal Anchor Baby Momma can get pretty steamy.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:41
“Lopez” simply means that she breaks open at the waist to dispense candy, rather than at the neck.
Oh man, I just ate lunch!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:42
Not in my house, dear. Simply everything is better in a ‘tini glass
Even whiskey?
I actually prefer drinking out of old fashioned glasses (or highballs, I love highballs) most of the time. I’d like to say it’s an aesthetic thing, but it’s really just because I’m clumsy.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:42
a urine martini, maybe. Seriously, my #1 rule for cocktails is that it doesn’t look like I’m drinking piss.
#2 is that it be at least 4/5 spirits. Because Fuck You, that’s why..
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:43
a urine martini, maybe. Seriously, my #1 rule for cocktails is that it doesn’t look like I’m drinking piss.
My number 1 rule is that it can’t be blue.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:43
Also, gross.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:44
What if it’s served in a goldfish bowl, or a whole pineapple? Those negate the blue rule, methinks.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:44
you know, sans goldfish.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:45
From Cesar’s post:
“It could also hurt the GOP’s prospects in the upcoming mid-term election by diverting attention from the Democrats’ record of over-spending, over-taxing, and exploding the national debt”
Amnesia really is their strongest weapon.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:45
The great thing about martini glasses is that you can train cats to drink form them. One paw on the base to keep it from moving, and a cat’s face is pretty close to conical and fits perfectly in the glass.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:47
What if it’s served in a goldfish bowl, or a whole pineapple? Those negate the blue rule, methinks.
Maaaaaaaaaaybeeee. Still, I feel like I’m drinking Windex.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:49
isn’t pretending it’s Windex tthe fun part? Or is that just me?
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:50
There’s a blue gin that’s pretty tasty. Does look like Windex though. But unlike Windex, it FUUUUCKS YOU UUUUUUUP
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:50
The great thing about martini glasses is that you can train cats to drink form them. One paw on the base to keep it from moving, and a cat’s face is pretty close to conical and fits perfectly in the glass.
That’s a terrible idea. However, cats and cocktails? Genius!
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:51
There was this one time when a really confusing game of Nanny State vs the Individual started up but Cesar kept over taxing and over spending and Lopez kept complaining that she wasn’t getting the services she had paid for and maybe she needed to spend some time alone working on self-rule.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:51
There’s a blue gin that’s pretty tasty. Does look like Windex though. But unlike Windex, it FUUUUCKS YOU UUUUUUUP
Mmm, yes. Magellan. I’m a liar. I totally drink blue stuff. BUT it isn’t that terrifying, electric blue that you see in blue curacao.
Marion in Savannah said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:52
She’s about to jump on a table and take her top off any second…
EEEEWWWWWW…. My lunch is now making a concerted effort to escape. I’m off to find the brain bleach.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:52
My number 1 rule is that it can’t be blue.
That rules out any number of wonderful tropical drinks that involve blue Curacao.
So much for whisking you away to Hawaii…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:52
Also, the blue color in Magellan is natural, whereas I’m pretty sure the blue in most other blue liquors is not.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:53
There’s a blue gin that’s pretty tasty. Does look like Windex though. But unlike Windex, it FUUUUCKS YOU UUUUUUUP
Magellan? Gooood stuff. I drank a fifth of it in about a week at the begining of the summer.
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:53
tagfail
Baron von Hosenschlange said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:54
ALSO. sorry, T&U
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:54
However, cats and cocktails? Genius!
I had a cat once that spilled a near-empty bottle of red wine. I knew this because there were little red pawprints all over my nice beige carpet.
And a drunk cat sleeping it off in what passed for an alleyway in that apartment (yes, the small NARROW hallway to the bathroom where you have to step over the cat who wakes up just enough to think your foot is a bird and bat at it)
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:55
That’s a terrible idea.
The mouser who used to live in the cellar of Jimmy Armstrong’s saloon (named Barmop) loved it.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:55
My number 1 rule is that it can’t be blue.
If your number 1 is blue see your urologist immediately.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:56
My number one rule for drinking is MORE!
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 19:57
“My number 1 rule is that it can’t be blue.
If your number 1 is blue see your urologist immediately.”
Or your OBGYN.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:01
The mouser who used to live in the cellar of Jimmy Armstrong’s saloon (named Barmop) loved it.
Barmop!!! Aaaah, so cute!
There was a bar kitty at this really terrible dive bar that we used to hang out at that was, like, this weird horror theme. But not really. Anyway, his name was Bones and I was always worried that he would get lung cancer and/or go deaf. But he escaped one night and animal control picked him up and put him to sleep before the owner could get him out of the hoosegow. :(
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:03
And a drunk cat sleeping it off
I’m surprised the cat drank enough of it to get drunk…I’d think it would taste terrible to them.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:08
I’d think it would taste terrible to them.
You’re overthinking. Think “cleaning paws”
Doctorb said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:09
There’s a reason they’re America’s Shittiest Website. I mean, that page has like a zillion links on it, but the subject — which starts with re: and refers to a different article — is a permalink to the same page. Thanks to Sadly, No! for doing K-Lo’s job and providing the context.
Ah, I see, most of those links are ads. At least they’re not for acai berries or solar “panals”.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:09
You’re overthinking. Think “cleaning paws”
Oh, yeah. That makes sense.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:10
‘I’d think it would taste terrible to them.
You’re overthinking. Think “cleaning paws”’
Ah, yes. These are creatures who use their tongues as toilet paper.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:13
I had a cat once…
ENOUGH with the fucking furry tales already. Eeeww.
Yankee Fans said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:14
Ah, yes. These are creatures who use their tongues as toilet paper.
Who are you calling creatures, asshole?
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:14
ENOUGH with the fucking furry tales already.
OK, I had a bear once.
Happy now? It’s not a pussy.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:16
Wow, actor. I didn’t know you swung that way.
Doctorb said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:17
Or is she just annoyed because Cesar Conda is flaunting his ability to fit in a phone booth? Perhaps he always writes this sort of thing, like “Tobacco companies are being treated unfairly, like certain people who have to buy two seats when they fly Southwest” and “Open Source software is as bad an idea as an all-you-can-eat restaurant, where I heard one of our writers went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.”
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:17
Wow, actor. I didn’t know you swung that way.
Look. It was ONCE, OK? Stop judging me!
Pryme said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:22
Look. It was ONCE, OK? Stop judging me!
It’s like the saying, “Once you go bear, you can’t ever compare.”
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:27
“Once you go bear, you can’t ever compare.”
yea, but once you go cat, that’s that!
Doctorb said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:28
…
Well, if there’s a danger K-Lo’s gonna take off her clothes, I suggest that she be served a cocktail containing Windex.
Because (wait for it) windex prevents streaking.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:29
Look. It was ONCE, OK?
You fuck a bear ONE TIME…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:29
Because (wait for it) windex prevents streaking.
Ouch.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:31
Because (wait for it) windex prevents streaking.
*facepalm*
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:32
You fuck a bear ONE TIME…
Right???
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:34
You fuck a bear ONE TIME…
At most.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:34
Fucking bears, how do they work?
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:35
Sounds familiar, right? “The blacker the bear, the sweeter the juice.”
Pryme said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:36
yea, but once you go cat, that’s that!
Aaaaand…”If you ever go K-Lo, for God’s sake don’t say so.”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:37
Once you go Jonah, nobody will bone ya.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:38
“The blacker the bear, the sweeter the juice.”
Grizzlies are whores.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:38
And polar bears are frigid.
What?
Pryme said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:40
And polar bears are frigid.
What?
Now that was just cold, man.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:40
Now that was just cold, man.
It was rather white of me, however.
Sirius Lunacy said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:44
Koala bears go down under.
THAT man from Nantucket said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:45
‘Aaaaand…”If you ever go K-Lo, for God’s sake don’t say so.”’
Not even I would go there.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:47
Panda bears do it sideways
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:48
OT: Edroso uses the word “ungawa” in a post, so this
Lurking Canadian said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:50
But unlike Windex, it FUUUUCKS YOU UUUUUUUP
I’m reasonably certain 1 that drinking Windex would also fuck you up. For the short time before the seizures start, I mean.
[1] No, I haven’t tried it, Judgey!
Lurking Canadian said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:50
However, I know for sure that posting about Windex will make your tags fail. Fucking superscript, how does it work?
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:51
“ungawa”
BLACK POWER!
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:51
So can we finally kill the idea that the Republicans care about the deficit?
77south said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:51
I have to admit I find these pieces of folk wisdom puzzling, however they were they were common sayings in small town WI.
once you go Aardvark, you’ll never be a card shark.
once you go owl, you’ll never prowl.
once you go squid, you’ll never skid.
once you go maple, you’ll never grape-L.
once you go fruitbat you’ll never hoot that.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:53
Somebody please take the keyboard away (gently, gently!) from 77south.
That Kiwi beer has fucked with your mind, man.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:54
So can we finally kill the idea that the Republicans care about the deficit?
Oh they care. But only they can increase it indefinitely. Because, they’re “responsible”.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:54
once you go maple, you’ll never grape-L.
I lolded. I am such a dork.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:55
The bill’s revenue offsets include $9 billion from removing a foreign tax credit loophole, $8 billion from spending cuts, $2 billion from tweaking Medicaid drug reimbursement formulas, and, controversially, more than $11 billion from cutting food stamp funding in 2014
Lemme see…hurts poor people, hurts old people, cuts entitlements…oh, wait! Hurts really wealthy people for one-third of the cost of the package!
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:57
How many really wealthy people would that be?
77south said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:57
once you go maple, you’ll never grape-L.
I lolded. I am such a dork.
it was weak I know, I thought of ‘staple’ after I hit submit.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:57
the cost of the package!
Oldie but goodie.
100% SFW.
Hoosier X said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:58
I will never eat candy again because I’ll be thinking about where it might have come from.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 20:58
it was weak I know, I thought of ‘staple’ after I hit submit.
Nah, it was awesome.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:05
Um — what?
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:08
“We didn’t cut wasteful spending to do something good,” Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)
SNERK!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:08
I’m jes popping up some popcorn here, waiting for Judge Walker to ‘splode some haids.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:09
once you go maple, you’ll never grape-L.
Made me think: Once you go apple, you’ll never try another fruit to grapple.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:09
I will never eat candy again because I’ll be thinking about where it might have come from.
Coulda been worse. At least he didn’t say “she
breaks openbends over at the waist to dispense candy, rather than at the neck.”Wish me luck, last time I posted this I broke Sadly, No!
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:11
Once you go Galt, you’ll never go salt or produce for the parasites
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:11
“We didn’t cut wasteful spending to do something good,” Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)
When do you ever do anything with the intention of doing something good, assface?
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:12
Wish me luck, last time I posted this I broke Sadly, No!
I think the database is rebelling against that picture of K Lo.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:12
Once you go melon, you’ll end up a felon.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:13
Once you go gurt you’ll never fro gurt
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:13
Once you go cheese platter pasta, you’ll end up puking behind the hostas.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:13
Once you go Coburn, you let everything burn.
Eh.
stryx said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:14
Chowder read Cormac.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:15
T&U: vote
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:17
Once you go goat you’re probably Mickey Kaus.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:17
How many really wealthy people would that be?
All three.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:19
T&U: vote
THANKS I ALREADY DID.
Also, that fucking stupid-ass fucking dumb shithead anti-healthcare reform initiative passed. Motherfucker.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:19
Now that’s a sign you can be proud of.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:20
that fucking stupid-ass fucking dumb shithead anti-healthcare reform initiative passed.
The definition of “voting against one’s own interests”.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:20
Once you go mango, you’ve got a sexy-salsa horizontal tango. With cilantro.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:21
“We didn’t cut wasteful spending to do something good,” Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)
Um — what?
I am all for encouraging secession movements. I know many of you live in states that might consider such actions and would not want to be left to your own devices* in the Freedumb States of Amerka. But seriously. I am tired of semi-retarded, stump-ignorant elected officials from the former Confederacy not only failing to help move things in this country forward but aggressively trying to drag all of us back into the 1850s.
Secede. Do it. GO.
All of you here who would not be happy with such an arrangement can stay at my house until you get your feet underneath you.
*We in Socialest America will supply you with the needed batteries.
Esteev said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:23
Can someone add “But I’m voting against it” to this photo for me, plz?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:23
The definition of “voting against one’s own interests”.
The definition of “conservative voter.”
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:24
All of you here who would not be happy with such an arrangement can stay at my house until you get your feet underneath you.
Last time that offer was made to me, I had to service a whole boat…
Um, I mean, SHE had to. She.
Chris said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:32
Secede. Do it. GO.
I am also in favor of this.
But it’s not going to happen.
If you’re ever wondering why, look at a map of how federal money is taken and redistributed in this country, particularly as concerns blue states vs red states.
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:35
Looch, I’m with you, even though I’m a Southener. I’m so fucking tired of Dumfuckistaners flapping their gums. I’d sure miss Charleston, SC and the northwest portion o’ Arkansas, though.
BTW, does Texas count as the South? I know everybody would miss Austin.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:38
If you’re ever wondering why, look at a map of how federal money is taken and redistributed in this country, particularly as concerns blue states vs red states.
Ayup.
And:
http://fuckthesouth.com/
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:39
I’d sure miss Charleston, SC and the northwest portion o’ Arkansas, though.
Well, it’s not like we’d embargo them, and you can get a passport.
Anonymous said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:41
“Well, it’s not like we’d embargo them, and you can get a passport.”
As long as you have the vault copy of your birth certificate.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:42
As long as you have the vault copy of your birth certificate.
Or a photo of you straddling a vault horse naked.
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:43
OK, but I’m not sure why the horse has to be naked.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:43
BTW, does Texas count as the South? I know everybody would miss Austin.
Mebbe we could build corridor to N.O. and declare those part of the North.
Chris said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:44
Yeah, I’ve read fuckthesouth. I love Annotated Rant – couple more essays like this, but that was the best.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:45
“BTW, does Texas count as the South? I know everybody would miss Austin”
We here in Austin would have to form our own republic, i.e. The Separatist Socialist Republic of Austin.
smedley said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:46
“OK, but I’m not sure why the horse has to be naked”
For accessibility?
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:49
With a vague (but not deeply held) serious tone, I would think such an arrangement would require largely open borders. Tourism, bidness, junk from Wal-Mart’s national distribution center would all require facile movement between the two nations. That much wouldn’t change. But we in the North could have progressive taxation, funded schools with textbooks reflecting this motherfucking century and ghey marriage and affordable healthcare and mebbe sparkleponies for everyone.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:50
OK, but I’m not sure why the horse has to be naked.
It’s a horse of a different tailor.
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:55
Maybe? I’m not sold yet.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:55
This doesn’t appeal to me simply because it means the country would be very oddly-shaped. Unless we created three countries.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:56
This doesn’t appeal to me simply because it means the country would be very oddly-shaped.
It would make Al Franken’s job that much easier to sketch it, tho.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:57
Wal-Mart can keep their motherfucking junk. Also, I’m against disaster tourism; I think it’s unethical.
Build a motherfucking wall; let’s see how many of them start trying to get over it.
Apologies to all the progressives who would be left out in the cold; we’d need to work out a comprehensive immigration reform program for youse. The good part is, we’d actually stand a chance of passing it.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:58
Build a motherfucking wall; let’s see how many of them start trying to get over it.
NOOOO DON’T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE PEOPLE!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 21:59
We here in Austin would have to form our own republic, i.e. The Separatist Socialist Republic of Austin.
Doesn’t that already exist? I’m pretty we voted that in when I lived there 30 years ago.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:01
Key West would have to reform the Conch Republic, but I don’t see that as a real problem for them.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:02
How ’bout a sparkle unicorn?
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:02
Last serious comment on this (actually, more of a question):
What could we accomplish as a nation if we didn’t have to negotiate and deal with filibusters and no votes from JesusLand?
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:03
NOOOO DON’T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE PEOPLE!
Get off yer ass and move to PDX.
Also, I was thinking of you and those like you when I was talking immigration reform.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:03
Once you go Sadly, you’ll make puns gladly.
jim said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:03
I come not to praise Cesar but to bury him … huh? What? Wait until he’s dead?
Buzzkill!
Also, I’ll just leave this here.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:04
What could we accomplish as a nation if we didn’t have to negotiate and deal with filibusters and no votes from JesusLand?
More than we do and less than we hope.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:04
Get off yer ass and move to PDX.
Yeeeah, plans have changed a little on that front. But hopefully I’ll be in civilization within the next year or so.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:05
Also, I was thinking of you and those like you when I was talking immigration reform.
Would you have to pass some sort of liberal citizenship test? Commies.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:05
PDX need truculent meat!
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:05
More than we do and less than we hope.
Sold!
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:05
Would you have to pass some sort of liberal citizenship test? Commies.
Not necessarily, but you’d have to see my etchings.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:06
What could we accomplish as a nation if we didn’t have to negotiate and deal with filibusters and no votes from JesusLand?
Given that we’d still be dealing with Senators Nelson, LIEberman and anybody from Indiana, I’m guessing it still wouldn’t be a pushover.
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:07
Way off topic, but I had to say this: I am looking through stock photos of big cats right now. They are so magnificent they kind of take my breath away.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:07
Given that we’d still be dealing with Senators Nelson, LIEberman and anybody from Indiana, I’m guessing it still wouldn’t be a pushover.
They’d lose a lot of political cover, tho. They’d probably modify their stances like a ninja on a teeter board.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:07
Not necessarily, but you’d have to see my etchings.
I thought that was a given.
anybody from Indiana
Can’t they go off with the south, too?
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:08
I’m out.
Smut Clyde said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:09
If your number 1 is blue see your urologist immediately.
Fun with methylene blue!
Blueberry muffins are a good vehicle for administering it.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:12
Given that we’d still be dealing with Senators Nelson, LIEberman and anybody from Indiana, I’m guessing it still wouldn’t be a pushover.
True dat. But they would be largely the worst of them (unlike now). And much more in the minority. I think Joe would follow the political winds where they blew, as it were. But his leverage (in concert with senators from the south) is greatly diminished.
No, it would not be easy as pie. Lots of entrenched interests (Banksters, anyone?) to overcome. But maybe, just maybe, the Rest of Us could gouge a little Justice and Fair Play out of the system.
And Sparkleponies. Guaranteed.
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:13
I want a miniature one with a horn made of candy. And wings. And it has to be pink.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:14
Not that this is a stock shot, and not that it really even shows you a big cat up close but….
The Coolest Picture You Will See Today
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:14
And Sparkleponies. Guaranteed.
I’m not a big fan of ponies. Could I have a Sparkleleopard?
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:15
Can’t they go off with the south, too?
Not until my son graduates from Major Midwestern University.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:15
I want a miniature one with a horn made of candy. And wings. And it has to be pink.
*sigh*
FINE.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:15
Not until my son graduates from Major Midwestern University.
Oh, I see how it is.
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:16
Eh, I’ve never supported getting rid of the South. Practical concerns aside (and there are many), it’s always struck me as the sort of IGMFY, tribalist attitude that I’d like to avoid. I think the idea of what would happen to minorities in the South once it was self-governing should be enough to scare any liberal off the idea.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:16
I want a miniature one with a horn made of candy. And wings. And it has to be pink.
Paging Dr. Freud!
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:16
Not until my son graduates from Major Midwestern University.
Nepotism will be banned in our new liberal republic.
Unless you bribe me.
Looch said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:16
I’m not a big fan of ponies. Could I have a Sparkleleopard?
*Deep breath*
OK. A Sparkleleopard it is.
Anyone elsssse?
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:17
Not until my son graduates from Major Midwestern University.
Oh, is that the one with Large Carnivorous Animal as their mascot? I like them to win the conference this year.
Chris said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:18
Eh, I’ve never supported getting rid of the South. Practical concerns aside (and there are many), it’s always struck me as the sort of IGMFY, tribalist attitude that I’d like to avoid. I think the idea of what would happen to minorities in the South once it was self-governing should be enough to scare any liberal off the idea.
That’s why we didn’t let them go the first time, I suppose.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:18
I want a sparkle Sharktopus
77south said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:20
What could we accomplish as a nation if we didn’t have to negotiate and deal with filibusters and no votes from JesusLand?
we would post to sadly no on sunshine powered computers while our hyperintelligent well-educated children silently sailed overhead in low earth orbit on windmill powered space stations. We will finally win the war on superfluous saxophone solos in otherwise good pop tunes. We will alphabetize every M&M on earth. We would travel coast to coast on electric trains no smaller than HO scale. We would compose arias in six languages while playing european football with our minds! There would be ponies for everyone!
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:20
Looch, I’m looking for a sparkle hedgebear.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:20
We will finally win the war on superfluous saxophone solos in otherwise good pop tunes.
Hey now! I like the sax in Harden My Heart by Quarterflash!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:21
it’s always struck me as the sort of IGMFY, tribalist attitude that I’d like to avoid.
Yeah, I agree. But it’s fun to think about.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:21
I’m looking for a sparkle hedgebear
Is that what’s causing that bustle in the hedgerow?
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:22
playing european football with our minds!
But I hate soccer. And what’s wrong with the E Street Band anyway?
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:22
actor, that picture is amazing.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:26
Ooh! Ooh! I changed my mind! Can I have a Sparkleliger?
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:27
BTW, N_B and several other S,N peeps have signed up at my forum. All the cool kids are doing it. I’ve even got a sports and food board going. And that’ll be the last time I bug everyone about it until it’s all pretty (designer hasn’t finished making it match the rest of my site).
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:28
I’m a cool kid! Worship me!
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:28
Breakin’ news, Prop 8 ruled unconstushull. Wingnut screech of “ACTIVIST JUDGES!!!” in 4…3…2…
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:29
Yeah, but…they started it.
I see what you’re saying, kind of, but it seems to me that they genuinely would like to leave. And I don’t blame folks for wanting to oblige them.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:29
Can I have a Sparkleliger?
How about a Zonkey?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:29
I gave you _almost_ everything you ask for but nooooo, it’s just not good enough, it has to have wings too. Pushy bitch.
Smut Clyde said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:29
Sparkle tardigrades for everyone.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:29
Breakin’ news, Prop 8 ruled unconstushull.
*whew*
vacuumslayer said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:31
Hey. I likes what I likes.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:31
Some kind of liberal-leftocrats you all are. I want sparklebortions.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:32
Breakin’ news, Prop 8 ruled unconstushull. Wingnut screech of “ACTIVIST JUDGES!!!” in 4…3…2…
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:32
is that the one with Large Carnivorous Animal as their mascot?
All of the mascots of the Major Midwestern Universities in the state to which we’re referring are people. And not in the Soylent Green way, either.
So no, your favorite team can’t win the conference this year because I’d like my son to travel to a bowl game with the marching band.
And actor, the kid doesn’t need any help from Dad. He has actual talent. Most come from his mom’s side of the family.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:32
Some kind of liberal-leftocrats you all are. I want sparklebortions.
This prompted a hilariously disgusting image in my mind.
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:33
I see what you’re saying, kind of, but it seems to me that they genuinely would like to leave. And I don’t blame folks for wanting to oblige them.
I’m sure lots of them would love to leave. In the interest of human rights and civil rights, I don’t think it’s smart to let them.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:34
MUST come…
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:35
Some kind of liberal-leftocrats you all are. I want
sparklebortionssparklepartialbirthabortions.Fixed for TRUE leftist sentiment.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:35
MUST come…
Uh, that sounds like a personal problem to me, dude.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:35
MUST come…
Demanding, aren’t we?
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:35
MUST come…
Aw, dude…Not HERE! Go to YouPorn.com or something!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:38
I WIN!
Chris said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:39
Breakin’ news, Prop 8 ruled unconstushull. Wingnut screech of “ACTIVIST JUDGES!!!” in 4…3…2…
That’s fantastic. Which court pronounced it thus?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:39
All of the mascots of the Major Midwestern Universities in the state to which we’re referring are people
Oh give me a fucking break. The only bowl Ohio State will see this year is the toilet bowl.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:41
The only bowl Ohio State will see this year is the toilet bowl.
I always wished the Mets would lease their stadium out for one bowl game a year.
They play in Flushing, NY.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:42
The ruling cam from the Chief Judge of the US District Court for the Northern District of California (so, a Federal judge). Which means the appeal will be enteertained by the Ninth Circuit – a notoriously liberal and very activist bunch.
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:44
The only bowl Ohio State will see this year is the toilet bowl.
Dude, keep up. Last I checked, Ohio State isn’t in Indiana. Well, except to visit in order to lose to a certain other college team in the 2009 football season (we were there!).
Smut Clyde said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:46
The ruling cam
Live feed from the judge’s chamber? New reality-TV show?
Whale Chowder said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:47
Which means the appeal will be enteertained by the Ninth Circuit – a notoriously liberal and very activist bunch.
Which means it’ll be appealed to the Supremes. A notoriously illiberal and very activist bunch.
I’m happy Prop 8 was overturned but I don’t expect the battle to be over, by a long way.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:47
The ruling cam
BowChickaWowWow
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:48
Dude, keep up. Last I checked, Ohio State isn’t in Indiana.
Oh, I thought you said “major” university. Never mind.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:50
The ruling cam
BowChickaWowWow
Decisions aren’t the only thing handed down in this chamber of jurisprudence. Watch the judge as he slams his gavel for your pleasure.
Captain Industry said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:51
om nom nom, NOM?
Smut Clyde said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:51
I imagined the ruling-cam as inside the gavel.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:52
I imagined the ruling-cam as inside the gavel.
Perv.
actor212 said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:52
I’m leaving the obvious jokes to the wiseasses here.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:56
I actually notice the typo before pushing the asshole, er submit button. Two thoughts went through my lil’ haid: Judge walker decided to allow cameras in the courtroom (but was shut down by Scalia) and also that Walker is (almost certainly) a filthy disgusting homosexyouall.
Which makes your comments all the more amusing.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:58
“in a burst of unprecedent judicial arrogance”
VER?
Good Lord, these people are dirty.
Maggie Gallagher said,
August 4, 2010 at 22:58
Hi, everybuddy, I’m just loggin’ on to the internet to see what’s up and…..
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE…. [silly eye-rubbing noises]… ACKKKKKKKK!!!! AOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAHHHH! [sounds of breathing heavily into a paper bag] OhNoOhNoOhNoOhNoOhNoOhNo…
yeep!
[camera spins up over Maggie's head, a la Star Trek II]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:00
Also amusing, the decision was based on both due-process and equal protection. That 14th Amendment is just giving the righties the fits these days.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:03
Maggie Gallagher said,
Where’s my watermelon and sledgehammer?
Captain Industry said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:06
Dammit, the only internet conservapit that’s wanking itself off in furious anger atm is Free Republic, and the freepers have so many bad mangoes I’m afraid I might bet infected with some horribly tropical disease, like believing in the Flat Tax.
M. Bouffant said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:06
Alex Rodriguez Hits 600th Career Home Run
New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez homered to center field with two men out and a man on base in the bottom of the first inning off Shaun Marcum of the Toronto Blue Jays, giving him 17 for the season and 600 for his career so far. The blast gave the Yankees a 2-0 lead in the game.
Let the hating begin.
Emily Litella said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:08
Preparation H is unconstitutional?
Why, that’s terrible. I think Preparation H is a valuable product; I’ve often had to use it when I’ve had a flaring case of the…
What? What’s that you say?
Proposition 8?
Oh. Well. That’s a different matter altogether.
Nevermind.
Spaghetti Lee said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:09
Dammit, the only internet conservapit that’s wanking itself off in furious anger atm is Free Republic
Eh, give it a day. This time tomorrow, there’ll be big juicy mangoes for everyone.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:12
And one more thing… Maggie? PHTPHPTHPTPHPTHPTPHPTPHPTHPTPHTPHTPHPTHPTPHTPT
And stick that fucking bus up yer ass.
Captain Industry said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:17
GLBT will not give up until they ram “gay marriage” down America’s collective throats.
Oh, honey. Don’t worry, no one likes a gagger.
N__B said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:18
Gay rams can marry? What about ewe?
Wyatt Watts III said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:23
Where’s my watermelon and sledgehammer?
That Gallagher is probably having a fit about this, too.
John Revolta said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:29
Once you go goatse, you’ll stay in the boatse.
tigris said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:34
Dammit, the only internet conservapit that’s wanking itself off in furious anger atm is Free Republic, and the freepers have so many bad mangoes I’m afraid I might bet infected with some horribly tropical disease, like believing in the Flat Tax.
Mangonorrhea.
S. cerevisiae said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:43
What I like about ewe
ewe hold me tight…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:44
BTW, N_B and several other S,N peeps have signed up at my forum.
it’s only cool until the zombies show up.
noen said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:44
“That Gallagher is probably having a fit about this, too.”
It’s probably all the pot. My brother has smoked heavily for decades and was pretty liberal in his day. Now in his middle age he’s turned into a paranoid right winger. I blame the weed.
noen said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:45
“GLBT will not give up until they ram “gay marriage” down America’s collective throats.”
Don’t they know that’s just foreplay?
S. cerevisiae said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:46
noen, he probably just ran out.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 4, 2010 at 23:59
I love that the NOM website header has a photo of a mixed-race family. Irony lies gasping in pain….
Looch said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:01
Sparkle whatevs for everyone and anyone. And Sparklebranes for you, ZRM.
Everyone happy now? Anyone for another juicebox?
Ok.
Looch said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:03
Oh. And.
Yay Vaughn Walker!
He be a Republican appointee, BTW. And you can bet the uproar in TightyWhiteyLand will include the word “traitor.”
Or some such.
They can have Sparkletears.
Captain Industry said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:07
“Never in the history of America has a federal judge ruled that there is a federal constitutional right to same sex marriage. The reason for this is simple – there isn’t!” added Brown.
Such a…persuasive argument, Brian Brown. Are you also taking your ball and going home?
Angry Geometer said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:08
Proposition 8?
If the opponents of Prop 8 were smart, they would’ve called it “Proposition Ocho” and said it was a bill proposing giving free stuff to Mexicans.
tigris said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:11
“Never in the history of America has a federal judge ruled that there is a federal constitutional right to same sex marriage. The reason for this is simple – there isn’t!” added Brown.
That was totally the judge’s decision. He also said it’s in the Constitution that Brian Brown is a poopyhead. AND the Bible, in the red letters.
Matt T. said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:12
What I like about ewe
ewe hold me tight…
“Irresistible ewe”.
Or group marriage to minors, which is of course the next step in the liberal-leftist plot to destroy America: “This lamb is your lamb, this lamb is my lamb, this lamb belongs to you and me.”
Policeman MacCruiskeen said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:21
You in far Amurikey have some odd notions about bicycles.
Angry Geometer said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:21
“Never in the history of America has a federal judge ruled that there is a federal constitutional right to same sex marriage. The reason for this is simple – there isn’t!” added Brown.
I just pointed out over there wasn’t a ‘federal constitutional right’ to interracial marriage until 1967.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:26
The fact is the gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married and maybe sharia law isn’t so bad after all.
noen said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:27
“Never in the history of America has a federal judge ruled that there is a federal constitutional right to same sex marriage.”
Well ummm, as I understand the ruling, and I know diddly about the law, the judge ruled that there was no rational basis for discriminating against gays in marriage laws.
This ruling…. I think… could affect all 50 states. Prepare for many asploding heads in the days and weeks to come.
Average wingnut said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:30
“You in far Amurikey have some odd notions about bicycles.”
Black bicycles, part of a plot by the UN to take over ‘Merica. I’m sure the Grays designed them. I believe everything that Alex Jones tells me.
vacuumslayer said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:30
I’m gonna make Splodey Heads Stew. I believe in using seasonal, sustainable ingredients.
Captain Industry said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:33
I just pointed out over there wasn’t a ‘federal constitutional right’ to interracial marriage until 1967.
Psh. In Real America, we only establish “federal constitutional rights” one way: with guns. While wearing colonial period costumes. With teabags.
S. cerevisiae said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:35
Mmmmmmmm splodey head stew….
Gary Ruppert said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:36
The fact is that I am composing a death threat to Judge Vaughn Walker at this very moment.
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:37
I’m gonna make Splodey Heads Stew.
Local too. Also. Be sure to invite all your zombie friends to dinner.
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:39
I mean, local ingredients too also.
Man, typing fail all over today.
vacuumslayer said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:39
Pbpppht. Zombies have notoriously bad table manners.
S. cerevisiae said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:42
OT – a friend of mine snapped an aurora photo that made the homepage at http://www.spaceweather.com/
tigris said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:44
You in far Amurikey have some odd notions about bicycles.
It’s all about the mollycules: he has a long-time habit of sitting on really dumb, crazy people. Those poor people are now mostly jackass.
vacuumslayer said,
August 5, 2010 at 0:50
Congrats to your friend! That’s truly lovely!
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:12
…he has a long-time habit of sitting on really dumb, crazy people.
Ooh. That sounds like a really bad idea.
They don’t make good bicycles either.
tigris said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:34
None too quick, sure, but cushioned enough that you don’t need a gel saddle.
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:43
None too quick
I’ll say.
Hard to keep going straight, too.
Also.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:54
I always enjoy pointing out in such cases that the _right_ has existed all along. It’s merely the _recognition_ that such a right has indeed existed, albeit without recognition.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:54
Between Prop 8 and the New York mosque decision, that’s two big wins for sanity in one week. Yay!
M. Bouffant said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:56
Sadly, wins for insanity don’t usually make the news, so we think we’re doing better than we are.
stackozone said,
August 5, 2010 at 1:58
My comment at NOM:
I’m sure “moderation” will take care of that comment…
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:01
K-Lo Update, courtesy of Roy:
Anything that gets Kathryn J. Lopez palpably shaking with rage brightens my day:
Actual quote from the ruling today: “Gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage.”
This is a court ruling, not an academic seminar at Berkeley.
This isn’t about equality. This is about recreating our fundamental institutions.
Visions of same-sex in Berkeley (with the Jefferson Airplane on the stereo and the smell of patchouli in the air) will leave K-Lo thrashing on the daybed in her office for weeks to come.
~
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:05
…K-Lo thrashing on the daybed in her office for weeks to come…
Someone please pass the ice-pick.
noen said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:06
“Between Prop 8 and the New York mosque decision, that’s two big wins for sanity in one week. Yay!”
Oh don’t pay attention to that. It’s just your typical sanity clause. We put one in every contract.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:07
“Irresistible ewe”.
I’m on The Lamb but I Ain’t No Sheep. Anyway it’s part of my New Zealand cultural identity so DON’T JUDGE.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:08
Kathryn J. Lopez palpably shaking
WEIGHTIST
noen said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:10
You really shouldn’t palpate a Lopez. It could get infected.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:10
Has anyone checked to see how many freepers have called for the execution of judges today?
Lurking Canadian said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:12
From ITDGY’s link:
“This usurpation of democratic authority must not be permitted to stand.”
Shorter: Fucking constitutional government! How does it work?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:31
Teh weeping of Jeff Godlstein and common tater tot is also amusing.
~
Captain Industry said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:33
From Concerned
WomenWhackadoodles For America:Marriage is not a political toy.
No, but I hear it works wonders in the bedroom.
“No combination of judicial gymnastics can negate the basic truth that marriage unites the complementary physical and emotional characteristics of a man and a woman to create a oneness that forms the basis for the family unit allowing a child to be raised by his or her father and mother.”
Fucking infertile couples, how do they work?
M. Bouffant said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:38
Jiz Wiz, as linked by 32®©, makes the right guess:
Just not as he wants it any more. [Sad trombone noise here]
Lurking Canadian said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:47
Would it be too cruel for me to write to K-Lo and point out that perhaps she should stop pontificating about what marriage is and isn’t; what with her being a spinster too long on the shelf?
Pryme said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:52
“No combination of judicial gymnastics can negate the basic truth that marriage unites the complementary physical and emotional characteristics of a man and a woman to create a oneness that forms the basis for the family unit allowing a child to be raised by his or her father and mother.”
Which is exactly why a guy dressed as Elvis in Las Vegas or a drunk sea captain in the Pacific can perform a marriage ceremony.
It’s also the reason we had such sanctimonious events such as, “Who Wants To Marry a Millioniare?” Because what better way to show that only a man and a woman should be married then a reality show that pimps a creepy rich guy looking for shallow gold-diggers?
Anonymous said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:54
Would it be too cruel for me to write to K-Lo and point out that perhaps she should stop pontificating about what marriage is and isn’t; what with her being a spinster too long on the shelf?
Considering that she takes her definitions of marriage from a man who is a life-long celibate, why would that register on what passes for her brain?
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 2:56
Ace:
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:01
I don’t know why you people bother having a judicial system if it’s not going to give you the answer you want.
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:01
Teh weeping of Jeff Godlstein and common tater tot is also amusing.
I’ll be damned, another pledge drive at the top of the site.
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:03
if it’s not going to give you the answer you want
Anglism is the hot new political ideology that’s sweeping the nation. It’s wrong if I don’t like it!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:03
Considering that she takes her definitions of marriage from a man who is a life-long celibate, [...]
Good point, for certain values of “celibacy.”
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:08
Anglism is the hot new political ideology that’s sweeping the nation. It’s wrong if I don’t like it!
So basically Anglicism without the “I see”.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:09
I congatulate the Elders of the Protocols of Hawt Scions for their recent victory in the Gay Agenda War against the pure people of the homeland.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:11
So basically Anglicism without the “I see”
Wrong, you fucking Flatlander.
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:12
This is all Ted Olson’s fault. He went over to the Dark Side!
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:14
OK, that didn’t come out at all right. I blame the gin. And the popcorn I’ve been enjoying for the last several hours.
Lurking Canadian said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:15
I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up.
Oh, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
You know, the whinging about Roe v. Wade, I kind of get. There really isn’t an explicit right to privacy in the Bill of Rights. You have to be a constitutional scholar to understand the arguments about penumbrae, so you can see how somebody might think the Supremes overstepped in that case. (I’m not saying they did, just that you can see how somebody might think so.)
But the equal treatment provision of the 14th is right there in plain English for anybody who can read. I can understand not liking the decision, but acting like it’s some sort of judicial coup d’etat or something is just bullshit.
And BTW, wingnuts, you can pass a No Gay Marriage, No Backsies amendment to the Constitution of the United States, any time you like, as long as you can get 2/3 of House and Senate and 3/4 of state legislatures to agree with you. Until you can do that, SHUT UP.
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:18
Holy shit, Hinderaker’s all over the gay judicial mafia angle.
J— said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:21
But the equal treatment provision of the 14th is right there in plain English for anybody who can read.
No compute.
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:25
Democracy is theft!
noen said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:41
Drama queens one and all.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:43
Mmmmmmmm splodey head stew….
Finally, Sadly, No! goes zombi-friendly! Well done!!
Andy said,
August 5, 2010 at 3:46
That William Duncan Corner link is pretty awesome. How many internal contradictions can you count in this paragraph (sorry, no idea how to block quote:
“First, none of the testimony in the trial showed (nor could it have shown) the voters’ subjective intent in approving the measure. A corollary point is that the question is entirely irrelevant. If voters pulled the lever for that law because they liked the number 8, or because they have atavistic hatreds, or because they really believe that marriage between husband and wife is a uniquely valuable institution though they have no problem with their gay and lesbian neighbors, it is hard to imagine what those intentions could have to do with whether the law they approve accords with the Constitution. It is worth noting that, since California gives all the benefits of marriage to same-sex couples through another legal status, the idea that most or even many voters were acting out of hatred is pretty unlikely.”
I’ll start.
1. Intent is irrelevant to the legal analysis of whether the law accords with the Constitution. Let’s talk about how the judge got intent wrong.
2. No evidence of intent was provided, so the judge’s conclusions about intent are meaningless. By the way, notwithstanding the complete lack of evidence, the intent was not hatred. Probably.
3. You gays are getting all the benefits of marriage anyway. Why do you have to go messing it up for everybody by insisting on actually having a marriage?
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:02
Those who have time on their hands and especially those who have at least a few functional neuronsand are looking for a good time should review the trial transcripts. This I have done to great amusement. The defenders shat all over themselves.
Alas, the facts of the case will have little or nothing to do with their paroxysmal fits. As this is post-racial America, so shall we now be post-homophobic America.
calibre97 said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:05
From over there at Protein ‘wisdom’:
“Marbury v. Madison should be disregarded – an unconstitutional usurpation of power by the unelected branch of government.”
So they’re all such strict Constitutionalists that they see CLEARLY, Clearly I tells ya, that the Constitution says what *they* want it to say and
SHUT UP THAT’S WHY!
You see what they’re doing there? Those letters are in the Constitution and so. Also. They’re right and you’re not.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:11
wow, these folks are really invested in hating gays, aren’t they?
jim said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:11
Almost as awesome as the Prop 8 decision itself is the way it’s instantly revealed beyond any shadow of a doubt exactly what’s been hiding under rocks in Teh Land Of Teh Free & Da Home Of Etcetera.
I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up.
“Depriving me of my ability to get away scot-free with treating others like shit for no reason whatsoever is TWENTY BAZILLION TIMES WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST & “ISHTAR” COMBINED!!!11!!!111!!!!”
Pupienus Maximus said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:18
wow, these folks are really invested in hating gays, aren’t they?
welcome to my world.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:24
an unconstitutional usurpation of power by the unelected branch of government.
What teh constitution forgot to spell out is that the judicial branch of government is only worth 3/5 as much as the other two, so judges following their constitutional role are unconstitutional. Also the constitution is NOT A SUICIDE PACT. It’s more like a piece of emo poetry.
Chris said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:25
This feels to me like Waterloo. This is the judicial establishment gone utterly lawless.
I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up.
No, this is what happens when conservative media and candidates pump forty years’ worth of bubble gum wrapper legal theory until half the people are plainly convinced that the First Amendment establishes Christianity as the state religion. There is a recipe for utter lawlessness here, but it’s not the courts that are responsible for it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:27
This feels to me like Waterloo. This is the judicial establishment gone utterly lawless…. I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up.
Weird, this gives me deja vu for December of 2000, somehow.
Snorghagen said,
August 5, 2010 at 4:42
The Obamarxists are imposing a dictatorship of the homosexual proletariat!
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
August 5, 2010 at 12:45
I thought this was a Republic- at least that’s what it said on the souvenir pencils from the John Birch Society bookstore: “This is a Republic, not a Democracy – Let’s keep it that way!”
Woodrowfan said,
August 5, 2010 at 15:08
wow, these folks are really invested in hate
ing gays,aren’t they?fixed for more accuracy… cause they also hate Muslims, liberals, immigrants who are not white, poor people, etc.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2010 at 15:20
I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up¹.
¹VPR
tigris said,
August 5, 2010 at 18:53
This feels to me like Waterloo.
So they equate themselves with Napoleon, an emperor and usurper who destroyed the Republic in France? Interesting.
This is the judicial establishment gone utterly lawless
:-o
I don’t know if we’re a democracy if this decision stands up.
We are a democratic Constitutional Republic, which means majority rule is limited by minority rights, as well as other principles enshrined in the Constitution. If everyone but one person votes to enslave that person, the courts should, in fact MUST, overturn the vote. I don’t know why this is so hard to understand, they seem to get it when it comes to guns.
Whale Chowder said,
August 5, 2010 at 21:08
they seem to get it when it comes to guns.
That’s because they have the deeply-held principle of “getcher hands offa my guns!”