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Pam Atlas Secret Muslim Shocker!
BREAKING — MUST CREDIT SADLY, NO!
Everybody knows that Pamela Geller is one of the bravest voices against Islamic jihad that we have. Blogging as ‘Pam Atlas’, the Long Island-based spitfire has for years defended Israel, America and freedom-loving people everywhere from the ululating hordes of deepest, evilest Islamistan.
It’s common knowledge, right? Not so fast.
First, some background. It goes without saying that anybody who has been as vocal in denouncing radical Islam as Pam has been over the years will necessarily have a fatwa, or Muslim call for assassination, placed on them. See Salman Rushdie for the positive proof of this fact, Barack Obama for the negative.
And lo and behold, Pam also has had a ‘fatwa’ placed on her — this very day, as it so happens. If we are to believe this development, as John Jay puts it:
If you think this threat is aimed just as [sic] Pamela Geller you simply do not understand the dimension of the problem. This death threat is aimed at all of you, and Islam means to impose this threat on all who do not submit to its dictates.
And if you think this threat is just a single, dumb-ass tweet by some asshole who finally rose to the bait after years of provocation from Geller, you also need to just shut up.
But what if there is more to all of this than just garden-variety fatwa-ing? How is it that Pamela Geller managed to stay fatwa-free for so very, very long in the first place? And how is it that she was conveniently fatwa’d just when questions were being raised in certain circles about the implausibility of her years-long fatwa-less run as a supposed she-man muslim hater?
These questions do not prove that Pamela Geller is secretly in cahoots with al-Qaeda to establish a New Global Caliphate stretching from Rangoon to Greater Teaneck, N.J. What these questions do do is raise questions. Questions like these:
- Was the real Pamela Geller replaced at birth by a deep sleeper agent of the Islamic Brotherhood so that her unsuspecting parents would raise her as an almost stereotypical JAP — the last person anyone would suspect of secretly preparing the world for sharia law?
- Was Pamela Geller recently seen secretly praying to Mecca five times a day for the last 40+ years and reciting the Hadith Qudsi in perfect Classical Arabic in accordance with the Ibn ‘Amir ad-Dimashqi school of Qira’at — suggesting a Yemeni origin for the ‘Pamela Geller’ sleeper agent that has been fomenting jihad in our midst lo these many years?
- Given that Muslims are forbidden to drink alcohol, does ‘Pamela Geller’ appear grossly intoxicated so often in order to throw off would-be discovers of her jihadist secret?
- Was ‘Pamela Geller’s’ very public split with erstwhile anti-Muslim ally Charles Johnson an elaborate charade? Is Johnson himself under a secret, time-delayed fatwa that will only go into effect if he reveals that he discovered that ‘Geller’ is in fact a deep-cover agent of global jihad?
- Did Geller’s — widely suspected — multiple plastic surgeries include anti-aging treatments that hide the fact that as a 35-year-old woman, she conspired with Malcolm X in the early 1960s to help him impregnate dozens of unsuspecting co-eds in the hopes of producing the ultimate prize — an eventual Black Muslim president in the first decade of the 21st century — as part of an Arab League-funded social engineering project codenamed Operation Horsecock Kill Infidels?
We do not claim to know with full certainty the answer to this question: ‘Is Pamela Geller really a female clone of Carlos the Jackal who was hidden in plain sight in our Judeo-Christian country in order to undermine reasonable arguments against radical Islamic practices by saying ridiculously stupid and insane shit all the time?’
But the answer is yes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:37
“How is it that Pamela Geller managed to stay fatwa-free for so very, very long in the first place?”
I’ve heard a long shower and some special shampoo after sex work for that.
Spaghetti Lee said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:37
White people are the Muslims of Muslim fascism.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:39
Muslins are the thin cotton cloth of textile fascism.
Spaghetti Lee said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:42
I mean, just look at poor ol’ Peter King being fatwa’d by Anthony Al-Weiner: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/07/peter-king-and-anthony-weiner-shout-their-way-through-a-fox-news-interview-video.php
paramedicx said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:45
is the Hadith Qudsi anything like the Kwisatz Haderach?
Lawnguylander said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:45
Of course asking her directly whether she’s a Muslim would be pointless since the Koran permits her to lie in pursuit of her Jihad. Excuse me, Jihawd, as she would pronounce it.
phleabo said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:46
I’m not clear from the post – how does the Pam Atlas Secret Muslim Shocker differ from the regular shocker? Anyway, sounds painful and screechy.
paramedicx said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:48
Pam’s shocker is with the middle finger in and ring finger out.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:49
Holy shit, a dude with a mullet and cutoffs and a giant Mountain Dew just rode by on a Rascal smoking a cigarette. I love Missouri.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:52
Oh, and he actually wasnt obese!
paramedicx said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:53
he’s late for a Tea Party. face!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:55
Nope, because now he’s talking to a couple of black dudes.
Angry Geometer said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:58
How does the Pam Atlas Secret Muslim Shocker differ from the regular shocker?
Two in the stink, one also in the stink.
Spaghetti Lee said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:58
Nope, because now he’s talking to a couple of black dudes.
OMGZ! Teh NBPP has spread to Missouri!
tigris said,
July 30, 2010 at 22:59
Google tells me a “dua” is a prayer of supplication, so he’s asking people to pray that God kills her, not asking them to do it themselves. Christians call it an “imprecatory prayer,” like when some prayed for Dr Tiller or continue to pray for Obama to be murdered.
tigris said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:00
Also, isn’t Johnson sane now?
ben said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:02
I’m at work and Pammy’s stupid site breaks my computer. All I could gather before i had to control alt delete the hell out of there was some dude threatened her on Twitter– is that about the size of it?
Please Allah, i ask you for so little, let this turn out to be Pam’s jihadist sock puppet. I need a good laugh.
vacuumslayer said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:03
Anyone else think this sounds kinda hot?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:03
OMGZ! Teh NBPP has spread to Missouri
Right? And I’m downtown! They’re not supposed to be here except to go to church!
ben said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:06
Anyone else think this sounds kinda hot?
Like big Mo(pbuh) with a choke chain in one hand and a cat ‘o nine tails in the other? How open is his robe?
paramedicx said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:09
they were in front of a Krispy Kreme down here and i felt intimidated into buying a chocolate glazed. straight strong-armed.
Ego based life form said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:12
How soon into a thread is too soon to change the subject to me?
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:12
That fucking does it. I’ve had it up to here ☛☚ with this fatwa shit. I hereby issue a fatwa on fatwas. Now get yer fat was the fuck out of here.
DrDick said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:20
Pam Atlas is an Islamofascistcommunistical fifth of whiskey columnist!
gocart mozart said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:21
http://kottke.org/10/07/how-to-swear-in-english-if-youre-korean
El Cid said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:30
She’s right, though. Here at work they are requiring all males to grow beards, women to wear burqas, and we have to throw away 99% of our literature because they have photos in them. Also when you show up late 3 times they slit your throat on a video and then send the video in to a public access channel.
vacuumslayer said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:35
Yeah, Montessori pre-schools are rough.
Jennifer said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:45
Dayum, the day I’m busy all day and all hell breaks loose here with what, 4 posts in rapid succession?
vacuumslayer said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:49
I know it’s like aftEr netroots everybody got the warm and fuzzies for this place. I feel like I’ve been chuckEd under the chin or gently and respectfully made love to.
Infant in a leaky and cold incubator that's making an annoying clicking sound said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:51
Yeah, Montessori pre-schools are rough.
meh!
Elmo said,
July 30, 2010 at 23:58
Umm…..opps, sorry…..wrong Pam Geller.
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:13
long shower and some special shampoo after sex
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:16
a dude with a mullet and cutoffs and a giant Mountain Dew just rode by on a Rascal smoking a cigarette.
Substitute a Dr Pepper & forget the cut-offs & that’s me! (Well, no Rascal or Hoveround, but it’s a dream.) Could qualify as close to obese, I’ll admit.
Snarla said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:17
That’s not a fatwa, and a fatwa is not a death threat.
What the heck, I’m already being pedantic. A fatwa is a juridical decree pronounced by a mufti. If it doesn’t come from a mufti, it’s not a fatwa. And nobody, but nobody, is obligated to abide by a fatwa. A fatwa is guidance. And it very, very rarely has anything to do with executing anybody. More likely it’s about what to eat for dinner.
Snarla said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:18
Hold on…Geller is only 35?!?!
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:25
Snarla: No, just been hiding her see-krit Muslin-ness that long.
zebbidie said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:30
Dayum, the day I’m busy all day and all hell breaks loose here with what, 4 posts in rapid succession?
I think all the meth plants have matured* and the harvest is in!! Brand new Cherokees parked out the front of the Sadly,No! hovel.
*meth is a type of herbaceous border isn’t t?
wiley said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:31
Imams twitter
fatwa, fatwa
bong Hitler!
Kassam-el-Hamas said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:34
according to Koran, Twitter fatwas – or Twat-was, as we like to call them – are the bloodthirstiest ones.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:51
Around-the-boob protection for Pam Atlas NOW!!!
J— said,
July 31, 2010 at 0:58
Was the real Pamela Geller replaced at birth by a deep sleeper agent
Pamela Geller is Salt! Now in Technicolor!
Also, Carlos the Jackal married his attorney, so there must be true love in Pamela’s future too.
Willy said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:07
Hold on…Geller is only 35?!?!
Dayum! Life is hard (on some people.) She looks “rode hard and put away wet”, as they say back home.
Mr. Wonderful said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:07
Imams twitter
fatwa, fatwa
bong Hitler!
I’ll have that-wa
..a beautiful sight
We’re happy tonight
Walkin’ in a fatwa
Wonderland.
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:39
Hokay then! It’s past five out here in elitistville (yes, _ville_, the Frenchy kind) and the gin bottle is calling my name. Let’s get the Friday night music battle fired up, shall we?
D. Aristophanes said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:40
I know it’s like after netroots everybody got the warm and fuzzies for this place.
It’s like they have a HARD-ON for this place. Get your facts straight, vacuumslayer!
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:55
Some have a “wide-on.”
mmy said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:55
The last time I caught a flush on the river while playing online poker, I was told that I needed to get cancer. Does that count as a fatwa?
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:56
Good move by PM: Subtitles, so one needn’t listen.
wiley said,
July 31, 2010 at 1:57
Here’s the antidote for that Rapture song for anyone who was hurt by it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts
D. Aristophanes said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:06
mmy – that’s a ‘dua’ (see tigris above). Personally, I only ever prayed that you’d get Libra.
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:13
I confess that I had a thing for one of the Monkees back in the day. No, it wasn’t cute lil’ Davey. Why Peter Tork caught my attention mystifies me to this day.
wiley said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:21
I had a terrible crush on Michael Nesmith. And Robin. And Cato. And that boy on the rifle-man. And Kevin in the first grade. And…boys, boys, boys. The life of a boy-crazy tomboy is always intense.
Smut Clyde said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:29
a long shower and some special shampoo after sex
“After”? My ‘special shampoo’ is a central element.
pat said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:31
a Rascal smoking a cigarette
Heh.
(from the grammar/punctuation police)
Hysterical Woman said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:37
I remember back when people actually sat down and wrote fatwas. My mother said it was always polite to sit down and write a nice handwritten fatwa after jihad. She thought typewritten was to impersonal! Now you’re lucking if someone text messages you a fatwa.
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:40
Oh wiley, remember Flipper? No no no, not the dolphin, the older brother. *sigh*
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:44
Really, after all the “praise be to allah”s and shit, how much incitement to murder can you tweet with the remaining 20 or 30 characters? Tweeted fatwas should be called ‘thinwas.’
Cowboy Boy said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:44
(ahem). In so much as her parents are brother and sister, shouldn’t her name be written ‘Pamela Geller-Geller”?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:48
the only Flipper I remember is this one
wiley said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:52
Was he a brunette? I had a thing for dark hair and eyes. My crush on the Green Hornet and Michael Jackson was the kind of thing I kept to myself. My mother would have shat herself and given me a predictable think-of-the-children lecture about interracial marriage.
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:53
the only Flipper I remember is this one
Never heard of ‘em. They were what…..83 or so eh? There’s little I remember from the early 80′s; see the previous thread for more info.
vacuumslayer said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:55
“I know it’s like after netroots everybody got the warm and fuzzies for this place.
It’s like they have a HARD-ON for this place. Get your facts straight, vacuumslayer!”
My bad. Everyone’s horny for S,N.
vacuumslayer said,
July 31, 2010 at 2:58
We talking childhood crushes? I was so hot for John Taylor. Guess what, every heterosexual woman in your mid thirties to early forties–he’s still fucking FOINE.
Pupienus Maximus said,
July 31, 2010 at 3:01
We talking childhood crushes?
And drugs. And I keep getting the threads mixed up. Which seems oddly appropriate, somehow.
Mark D said,
July 31, 2010 at 3:06
I think T&U should be allowed to dangle her modifiers, but that’s just me.
And, speaking of people with rouge-colored necks on electric scooters, there’s a dude here in Independence who goes down a state highway on one. Every morning. During morning rush hour. And not only does he have a mullet, a smoke, and is quite … um … not wanting for mass, he usually has a 12-pack of Busch in his lap.
**sigh**
Harry Truman would be so proud!
Whale Chowder said,
July 31, 2010 at 3:41
No smoking but I did find some rascals.
jim said,
July 31, 2010 at 3:48
We are indeed through the rabbit-glass¹ & down the looking-hole² here, people!
Limbaugh, Goldberg, Gingrich, et al = FatWads
Beck U grads = FratWads
—————————–
¹ Veiled Transvestite Bugs Bunny Reference
² Not-Very-Veiled Goatse Reference
pat said,
July 31, 2010 at 3:54
I think T&U should be allowed to dangle her modifiers, but that’s just me.
I love t&u, and I agree that she is allowed to dangle as much as she wants of whatever she wishes… However, since I don’t know what a Rascal is, I thought it was kind of funny.
Don’t get me started on lose and loose, and who and whom. Or its and it’s. Arrrggghhh..
Although I must say, one of the reasons I really like this site is that you folks really know your grammar. You must have all had a 10th grade English teacher like my Miss Dorothy Down.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 31, 2010 at 4:08
I was on my phone, dammit! I can’t be perfect ALL of the time.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 31, 2010 at 4:10
I love t&u,
Aww, thanks!
and I agree that she is allowed to dangle as much as she wants of whatever she wishes…
My boobs are quite firm, thankyouverymuch.
pat said,
July 31, 2010 at 4:15
I wasn’t suggesting that you should be. On the contrary, I was surprised that no one pounced on the image of a Rascal smoking a cigarette.
From a retired old fart living pleasurably far away from Missouri and Rascals….
Carry on.
Naybob Dylan said,
July 31, 2010 at 4:20
In the dingle dangle morning
I’ll come fatwaing you
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 31, 2010 at 4:47
I wasn’t suggesting that you should be. On the contrary, I was surprised that no one pounced on the image of a Rascal smoking a cigarette.
I wasn’t actually offended.
A Rascal is an electric scooter (the kind you sit on), BTW. People here ride them in the bike lanes a lot.
pauly said,
July 31, 2010 at 6:21
What are the odds people are willing to give that Pam set the twitter account up herself? I mean, c’mon. “It will be a crucial psychological victory for #Islam.” That reads like it was copied and pasted from some wing nut blog. Only right wingers can manage prose that stilted.
Blinking Emoticon said,
July 31, 2010 at 6:43
not the dolphin, the older brother. *sigh*
M. Bouffant said,
July 31, 2010 at 6:43
PM, if I recall correctly, the deal w/ Flipper (San Franciscans?) originally was that they were all in other bands, but in Flipper they didn’t play the instruments they actually had any ability or practice time on.
After 25-odd yrs., you can’t help but get a little better. Too bad, spoils the fun.
Johnny Pez said,
July 31, 2010 at 7:41
My boobs are quite firm, thankyouverymuch.
Intersted, subscribe, etc.
Angry Geometer said,
July 31, 2010 at 17:12
There are currently 12 people following “IslamicJihadi” on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/IslamicJihadi
Twelve.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 31, 2010 at 19:59
Although I must say, one of the reasons I really like this site is that you folks really know your grammar.
I only knew one of them, and she died when I was 10, alas. She was nice, but we couldn’t communicate very well because she never learned much English.
Snarla said,
July 31, 2010 at 20:08
There are currently 12 people following “IslamicJihadi” on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/IslamicJihadi
Twelve.
And if you think this threat is just a single, dumb-ass tweet by some asshole who finally rose to the bait after years of provocation from Geller, you also need to just shut up.
Do I still have to just shut up?
tigris said,
July 31, 2010 at 20:43
I think now you have to extra double dog shut up with a cherry on top, or John Jay and Pammy will run away until at least snack time.
PopeRatzo said,
August 2, 2010 at 2:03
This new fatwa has nothing to do with the fact that Pammy is out hawking a new book.
The Goddamn Batman Uses A Jailbroken iPhone With Certain Apps That Steve Jobs Would Shit Himself If He Knew About Them said,
August 2, 2010 at 17:14
BRAIN AND BRAIN
WHAT IS BRAIN
address my envelope, lips! said,
August 3, 2010 at 16:18
I am deeply fucking bitter that Pam “Twatwad” Geller is actually getting her anti-Islamofascist Obama slurs published when I can’t even get my insightful, yet lightly amusing essays (in the style of David Eggers, the meme told me so) looked at by anyone except my husband, who pats me on the head and says “fewer run-on sentences next time”.
Bitter. I’m signing up for the sock-islamist’s feed.