Give Me Your Well-Rested, Your Rich, Your Pampered Dignitaries etc.


ABOVE: Greg Gutfeld

Shorter Greg Gutfeld, Big Hollywood:
Daily Gut: What I Learned From ‘Cops’

  • It’s like Rand Paul says — the Sultan of Brunei would totally trade places in a heartbeat with a homeless septuagenarian schizophrenic living on the streets of Detroit, and I’m not being funny. No, seriously — I’m really not funny.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 734

 
 
 

I’m staying in the boat.

 
 

What awaits you on the shore: The ‘Gut Krew’ is really pissed off that some people below the poverty line aren’t literally dressed in rags and getting beaten by Victorian poorhouse overseers.

Sorry, no mangoes.

 
Haystack Calhoun
 

Sorry, no mangoes.

‘Cept where he displays his mad debate skillz in the last sentence.

 
 

‘Cept where he displays his mad debate skillz in the last sentence.

Fuck off, miss. These mangoes are shit mangoes! Sorry for saying fuck off, miss.

– Jonah, Summer Heights High

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

Name, please.
No name, no “fact” status.

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

Carlos Slim would absolutely NOT trade places with Greg Gutfeld’s wife.

 
 

Some how I felt this was very apropos .

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

The fact is, is Greg Gutfield Gary Ruppert?

Hmmm. So where will our overlords go once they accomplish their goal of turning America into a Third World country?

 
 

Got off the boat, like a schmuck. I mean, I’m a poverty-level sumbitch now, on unemployment insurance (livin’ the dream, bitchez!), to see what this chucklehead mo’fo’ had to say about it. Looks like the same level of disparity in the third world between have and have-not as here in the US. Just a higher initial standard of living here, ergo, a higher poverty level income. I’m wondering when the tipping point occurs and we (and I mean all us poverty-level layabouts) get to demonstrate the level of our displeasure, disappointment and despair to the self-agrandizing, overwhelmingly important observers of our great social experiment.

 
 

I *have to* get out of the boat for this one.

…HOly shite. Short but sour.

 
 

He can’t possibly be that stupid. …………… Yup, he is.

I’ll say one thing, having actually been homeless twice I would rather be on the street in the US than in Calcutta or some other 3rd world ghetto. My guess is the food in the US dumpsters is of a higher grade but I don’t know. I could be wrong.

“The poverty level for us looks like something to shoot for. ”

Compared to Darfur or Bangladesh sure, I suppose so. That doesn’t say much. The real message here is just the typical authoritarian “because shut the fuck up that’s why”. There is no further “depth” to it than that. There never is.

Notice also the racism in this quote:

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

The underlying assumption here is that the richest people in third world countries, who are all balckity black black, live desperate grubby lives not all that different than the poor in the US because “USA! USA! FUCK YEAH!” that’s why.

 
 

“I’m wondering when the tipping point occurs and we (and I mean all us poverty-level layabouts) get to demonstrate the level of our displeasure, disappointment and despair to the self-agrandizing, overwhelmingly important observers of our great social experiment.”

Yeah, me too. I gots ideas fer kah-muni-catin’ mah displeasure. I mean, they keep telling us we need to be more creative. I’d like an opportunity to show just how creative I can be. I hear it’s very fulfilling.

 
 

…He (Rand Paul) cited an old Russian propaganda film that showed poor Yanks with color TVs….

…every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting, an overabundance of prescription drugs and a cluttered entertainment center. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven.

So remember folks, if you have a TV and shag carpets you should be grateful to rich people!

 
 

noen, I doubt if much food is even put in the dumpsters of any Third World nation. (Twice homeless? Stop showing me up!)

Greg Gutfeld is sheer pus. He’s not funny, but by being not-funny in a right-wing, afflicting the afflicted way, he gets work. On FOX NEWS. AT 0300 ET. Ha ha ha.

Now, can we come up w/ something better than “Third World?” If the First World is Western industrialized (fascist) democracies + Japan + outposts of English-Speakers (You antipodeans know who you are!) & the Second World was them Commies, & the Commies don’t exist any more, shouldn’t the Third World get a promotion or something? Or is pseudo-Com-yew-niss China the Second World all by itself now?

 
 

All this crap is, of course, right in line w/ the “Niggers Colored People Negroes Blacks (Whew!) should quit bitching because if they hadn’t been brought to the United Snakes in chains & been forced to work ’til they dropped they’d all be in Afrika now” claptrap the reactionaries like to bring up.

Said concept of course fails to bring colonialism & it’s effect on Afrika into consideration.

 
Little Timmy Nenblecher
 

…every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting, an overabundance of prescription drugs and a cluttered entertainment center. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven

So when mommy tells me to eat my vegetables because the rest of the world is starving she ain’t just full of shit?

 
 

“Twice homeless? Stop showing me up!”

To be fair being homeless in the glorious socialist republic of Minnesota isn’t quite as bad as I hear it can be in other parts of the country. Though that shit stain that calls itself our gov’ner tried to even things out.

I also get to gloat that my congressman is Keith Ellison and my senator is Al Franken AND we will be trying out instant runoff voting this fall. So neener.

Did you know that you sometimes get gourmet food stuffs at the food shelves because fat middle class whites don’t know what they are? It’s true! Yippee, It’s anchovy paste and hash browns tonight honey!

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

I KNEW that was Robert Mugabe behind the QuikTrip.

 
 

Once again, all comments are pure comedy gold. On ALL right-wing sites on ALL the internetz. They can’t help themselves.

 
lobbey the vuvazella
 

from one of the saddo commentators:

yes, and most of our poor people have cell phones, an automobile, and indoor plumbing. if afghanistan they dream of having a working toilet, or a light bulb that works at night. but how many of the worlds poor, can watch a tv set, with robot theater on it?

so, the meme is, ‘make them really poor’ or give all the afghans a working TV, or is it give our poor people a light bulb, so they can watch robot theater (whatever that is) in Afghanistan? I’m so confused?

Isn’t funny how the whining memes dont change over the years. First world poor can’t be poor because they have a colour TV, mobile phone… etc, etc

Are these folk just thick or mendacious.

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder

Has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve read in a long time.

Btw, apparently the Gut Buster hasn’t left the USA in awhile. Most Third World residents have home televisions now.

 
 

“how many of the worlds poor, can watch a tv set, with robot theater on it?”

Yes that’s right. The world’s poor are still just like they were in the National Geographic magazines that you used to masturbate to back in the 70’s. They’ve all got rings in their ears, plates in their lips and dance by jumping up and down. They dream every night of living in a trailer in the Ozarks like you do. With rings in your ears, a wad of chew between your cheeks and to go to a barn dance like you because you are so completely unlike them.

 
 

…every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting, an overabundance of prescription drugs and a cluttered entertainment center. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven.

Because nothing says heaven like prescriptions to treat high blood pressure and diabetes.

 
 

cokane said,
The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder

Has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve read in a long time.

Btw, apparently the Gut Buster hasn’t left the USA in awhile. Most Third World residents have home televisions now.

And cell phones. They all have cell phones. Cheaper to set up than landlines with all its’ expensive copper.

 
 

The fact that Gutfield hasn’t been struck by lightning is pretty definitive proof that there is no god. Hell, Cthulhu himself would be smiting this motherfucker.

 
 

Now, can we come up w/ something better than “Third World?”…shouldn’t the Third World get a promotion or something?

No!!! They’re the Third World… they get NOTHIN’.

 
 

To be fair being homeless in the glorious socialist republic of Minnesota isn’t quite as bad as I hear it can be in other parts of the country.

Los Angeles, not so swell, but Santa Monica was quite nice for urban camping, & plenty of support, which got my ass back into the real (at least housed) world.

Did actually go into Westwood to sleep.

Can’t imagine the cold in Minnesota, though. Brrrrr.

 
 

The fact that Gutfield hasn’t been struck forcefully about the head w/ a heavy blunt object by lightningme is pretty definitive proof that there is no godI don’t live in NYC.

 
 

Nothing like being in your mid-20s with nothing more than entry level exp! Recessions Rule!

Hang in there. If it’s any comfort, having way beyond entry-level experience can make little or no difference or, in fact, be a hindrance. Keep the faith, a door will open when you least expect it.

/Captain Motivational

 
 

“Once again, all comments are pure comedy gold. On ALL right-wing sites on ALL the internetz. They can’t help themselves.

I resemble that comment!

 
 

way beyond entry-level experience can make little or no difference or, in fact, be a hindrance

No sheet. Was turned down for several clerical/filing jobs in the mid-’70s because of a couple of yrs. spent in college. “Oh, you’ll be bored in this job.” As if every fuckwad w/ a GED or H.S. diploma found them the most exciting gigs in all the universe. Should have started spreemercy killing right then. Would have saved many a lot of suffering.

 
 

This kind of thing is the written word equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming “LA LA LA LA–I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!!” in response to the problem of poverty. It’s like they really just don’t want to be bothered. Deep down, they feel kinda shitty about it…so they write things like this to keep out the niggling feeling that they just might be horrible human beings.

I invite this fucker to live in the shag-carpeted heaven that is poverty, if he thinks it’s so great.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hang in there. If it’s any comfort, having way beyond entry-level experience can make little or no difference or, in fact, be a hindrance.

Yeah, my MBA/MFA friend had two different resumes.

And she *paid* for those qualifications. I’m pretty sure I would actually be better off today (or at least the same) if I hadn’t gone to grad school.

 
 

The modern surveillance state makes me sad, because here is a man that would benefit greatly by being beaten severely about the head and shoulders, but I just can’t see getting away with assault.

Kristol, Wolfowitz, Krauthammer, even Gutly McGutterson, should not be able to walk about without a sense of paranoia. Too bad, really.

 
 

hey feel kinda shitty about it…so they write things like this to keep out the niggling feeling that they just might be horrible human beings.

Charitable lass, you are way too kind.

I don’t think they feel bad about it at all, they are pumping their own natural spite to fellow spiteful soulless beings, so they can all feel good in the their superiority to these lazy lay-a-bouts.

It’s the Limbaugh marketing method, and it makes billions of dollars every year. Probably not so much for Brightfart, but that’s certainly the hope: You get to be your natural dickish self and be rewarded for it.

These people are brats, regardless of age. Selfish and completely without empathy. In a sane world, they’d be objects of scorn.

 
 

But, LittlePig, I always get a whiff of defensiveness from stuff like this. I guess it could be just the defensiveness of being so sure of one’s own rightness…

I dunno. I guess this stuff always reads a defense of being horrible to me.

 
 

“It doesn’t mean we can’t do better. But we have to…be proud of …capitalism.”

Unfortunately, the only part of those two sentences that ever gets any attention is “we HAVE to be proud of capitalism.” Anyone who’s ever tried to get on with the “do better” part knows how it works; you’re instantly accused of not being proud of capitalism, the discussion shifts to the moral decay evidenced by your unpatriotic feelings, which is much more urgent, serious and important than, you know, these people out there without homes or health insurance.

 
 

And she *paid* for those qualifications. I’m pretty sure I would actually be better off today (or at least the same) if I hadn’t gone to grad school.

I’m still paying over $800 / month on the student loans for my degrees and will be well into the future. I love our education system.

USA! Cue the Lee Greenwood.

 
 

This is why my “you can’t be a patriot while hating your fellow citizens” really needs to be a regularly-used talking point by everyone who’s not an asshole conservative.

 
 

Even the poor faggots have it better in America, but we’re working on making it a bit tougher on them up here by burning their stuff.

How’s that for your friggin’ Mangos.

HA HA HA HA

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yeah, this post hurts my head so much that Imma just gonna keep worrying about my student loans…

 
 

And she *paid* for those qualifications. I’m pretty sure I would actually be better off today (or at least the same) if I hadn’t gone to grad school.

I’ve actually noticed that, too. All a master’s degree did for me was make it more likely for employers to say I was overqualified for jobs I really, really wanted, or assume I wanted a boatload of money. I’m incredibly relieved I never went for my doctorate, ’cause I’d never get a job again.

 
 

This is why my “you can’t be a patriot while hating your fellow citizens” really needs to be a regularly-used talking point by everyone who’s not an asshole conservative.

Yeah, me and Wally George aren’t hip to that at all. You mind numbed lefty robots can have it. We hate anyone we feel like, and everyone that should be, and they are hated equally. And many of us actually are patriotic veterans who served out country proudly.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve actually noticed that, too. All a master’s degree did for me was make it more likely for employers to say I was overqualified for jobs I really, really wanted, or assume I wanted a boatload of money. I’m incredibly relieved I never went for my doctorate, ’cause I’d never get a job again.

Yeah, I’m in this weird position where I don’t have enough experience in my field to get most jobs, and the jobs that I could get pay just as much as my current job, which I started when I was a few hours short of my bachelor’s. So, yeah.

I thought about going for my doctorate, but the academic environment is so fucking bad right now…it wouldn’t be worth it, really. I’d probably be hired as an adjunct and not make shit for years. Plus, I’m not really interested in publishing and all the other political bullshit it takes to get tenure.

 
 

Greg Gutfeld is sheer pus. He’s not funny, but by being not-funny in a right-wing, afflicting the afflicted way, he gets work. On FOX NEWS. AT 0300 ET. Ha ha ha.

Go easy on the fella. Somone’s got to compete for those ratings dominated by the Suzanne Somers collection on HSN.

 
 

Yeah, there are not very many academic jobs out there — that alone is a good reason to skip the Ph.D. The Publish-or-Perish mindset also ran me off.

 
 

Yeah, me and Wally and George aren’t hip to that at all. You mind numbed lefty tops can have it. We blow anyone we feel like, and everyone that should be, and they are blown equally. And many of us actually are patriotic veterans who sucked out soldiers proudly.

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

What I learned from “COPS”

Women with large tits and no teef should not wear tube tops.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The Publish-or-Perish mindset also ran me off.

It’s ridiculous, and actually *bad* for academia at this point. Something’s going to have to give, though–libraries can’t afford to keep up with subscription costs. (The journal industry is, as a whole, a giant fucking racket. It’s sad).

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

Ohbrother. These people really don’t get out much, do they?

I would trade places with the richest person in the poorest Third World country, IN A HEARTBEAT!

Are you kidding? Own a government? Have them serve my every whim? You’d be crazy not to!

 
 

As an underemployed academic I agree, skip the Ph.D.. Unless it’s in a hard science from an R1 school, jobs are almost impossible to find. A buddy in NY was on the committee interviewing for a position in my area (US, early 20th century) and there were over 200 QUALIFIED applicants for one spot. And that didn’t include those who applied who were not really qualified.

 
 

Here is a great book about a guy who came from the Sudan to America. The framing device is his survival of a robbery in Atlanta in which he is once again close to death, just like at home.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I would trade places with the richest person in the poorest Third World country, IN A HEARTBEAT!

But, but…AMERICA!!!!!11!!1!!!

You know, I figured that part of the reason why wingnuts don’t feel particularly guilty about the Iraq war is that they honestly think Iraq was some sort of backwater where people lived in huts with their goats or whatever. So, you know, that one hour of electricity a day they’re so generously allotted is totes a step up from their miserable lives riding camels under Saddam’s bootheel.

 
 

Unless it’s in a hard science from an R1 school, jobs are almost impossible to find.

Ironically, we have to import these from India and China. If you ever read the application for H-1B visa clearances, you’d be amazed how short in supply hard science degrees are here.

Except, curiously, engineering, where any zombie can get hired…

 
 

Substance – I loved that book. Unfortunately I loaned my copy to a faux Christian who not only didn’t read it, but never bothered to return it.

 
 

You know, I figured that part of the reason why wingnuts don’t feel particularly guilty about the Iraq war is that they honestly think Iraq was some sort of backwater where people lived in huts with their goats or whatever. So, you know, that one hour of electricity a day they’re so generously allotted is totes a step up from their miserable lives riding camels under Saddam’s bootheel.

I was about to say that. They really do think third worlders are all complete savages living in teepees and riding horses. It’s the only way you could possibly believe that Robert Mugabe’s worse off than the beggars on our street.

 
 

But, but…AMERICA!!!!!11!!1!!!

The scuba diving I could do in Papua, New Guinea would more than make up for not having the I-80 to drive to the Midwest on.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Unless it’s in a hard science from an R1 school, jobs are almost impossible to find.

Yeah, I mean, if I could go back in time and make myself study the hard sciences, well, harder, I would, but even if I did, I don’t have the innate ability to do well enough to survive a degree program, much less at a top-tier school.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The scuba diving I could do in Papua, New Guinea would more than make up for not having the I-80 to drive to the Midwest on.

And miss the beautiful scenery in Nebraska and Ohio???

 
 

Here’s the point where I realized that academic writing wasn’t going to be a good fit for me. I was talking to my grad advisor (I was in the “Radio, TV, and Film” department), and he told me I could pick between writing a thesis or taking a comprehensive exam.

Me: “Oh, great, can I write a paper about the history of werewolf movies?”

Advisor: “Um, no.”

Me: “Oh. Alright, how ’bout an analysis of the giant bug movies of the ’50s, like ‘Tarantula’ and ‘THEM!’ ”

Advisor: “No way.”

Me: “Alright, what about the ’80s psycho killers as antihero archetypes?”

Advisor: “How about a quantitative study of listenership levels of small-market country radio stations in Montana from 1948 to the present?”

Me: “Seriously?”

Advisor: “Of course.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do the comprehensive exam.”

 
 

And miss the beautiful scenery in Nebraska and Ohio???

I can see it from the transoceanic jet as I flyover to DC to lobby for more petty cash pocket change foreign aid.

 
 

I’ve actually noticed that, too. All a master’s degree did for me was make it more likely for employers to say I was overqualified for jobs I really, really wanted, or assume I wanted a boatload of money. I’m incredibly relieved I never went for my doctorate, ’cause I’d never get a job again.
************
Yeah, I’m in this weird position where I don’t have enough experience in my field to get most jobs, and the jobs that I could get pay just as much as my current job, which I started when I was a few hours short of my bachelor’s. So, yeah.

Ha Ha Ha….

I’m a Janitor, never completed my education and I could and would love to fire any of you mind numbed lefty robots from your jobs just because I bought into the power to do so. I would love to see any or all of you government school useful idiots default on their student loans. I could do that. I had the power to cook stuff up, and you would have the laser dot on your forehead in my [Murkowski] administration.

How you may ask? Pay to play with a conservative candidate who wins. It’s a lot cheaper than your student loans, isn’t it?

Can you imagine you government school BS’s ,MS’s and PHD’s being fired by a janitor whose new job is cooking up lies? Ha Ha Ha!

 
 

Here’s the point where I realized that academic writing wasn’t going to be a good fit for me.

Yea, sadly, most of the cool topics have been done to death.

 
 

Pay to play with a conservative candidate who wins.

Lemme know how that works for ya.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Here’s the point where I realized that academic writing wasn’t going to be a good fit for me. I was talking to my grad advisor (I was in the “Radio, TV, and Film” department), and he told me I could pick between writing a thesis or taking a comprehensive exam.

I wanted to shoot myself when I was doing my comps. I actually enjoyed writing papers (as much as you can, anyway) as an undergrad, because I could at least discuss shit that was *interesting.* Grad school was like pulling teeth because the “academic literature” for library science is puh-thetic and there are only so many fucking times you can write about metadata before you put yourself to sleep.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

(BTW, when I say “enjoyed writing papers”, I meant that writing them was only like slowly and painfully pulling words from my brain instead of banging my head against the desk over and over in hopes that *something* would dislodge.)

 
 

In a sane world, they’d be objects of scorn.

Whoa, what’s this blog — chopped liver?

 
 

Lemme know how that works for ya.

No kidding. It was obvious that the teabaggers were spluttering down a few months ago — but when one of their anointed ones can’t win a GOP primary in Alafuckingbama? Shut out the lights — the movement’s gasped its last…

 
 

Selfish and completely without empathy. In a sane world, they’d be objects of scorn. James Bond movie villians

Or comic book antiheroes or something like that. We, as a society, are dumb enough to idolize rich guys (Gates, Buffet, Turner, et al) and treat them as if they deserve obscene amounts of wealth while people are literally starving to death less than a mile away.

 
 

Shut out the lights — the movement’s gasped its last…

I fully expect any day now for Michelle Bachmann to declare the start of a NEW new movement called the Biscuit Baggers.

And will miss the snark of that name as well as MILF hunters worldwide buy T-shirts.

 
 

The only thing I ever learned from Cops is that before you commit a crime in America, you have to take your shirt off. Unless you’re a girl.

 
 

Whoa, what’s this blog — chopped liver?

We scorn, ergo we’re sane.

 
 

What I learned from COPS:

The mullet is still the height of fashion in a disturbing percentage of the country.

 
 

Yeah, me and Wally George aren’t hip to that at all. You mind numbed lefty robots can have it. We hate anyone we feel like, and everyone that should be, and they are hated equally. And many of us actually are patriotic veterans who served out country proudly.

Oh, look, AssFace is back with more nuggets of poop for us. This one is a classic. “I’m not a racist, I hate niggers, jews, spics, hajis and catholics all the same”. Yeah, sorry, but I’m really gonna hafta ask you to go fuck yourself.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, look, AssFace is back with more nuggets of poop for us. This one is a classic. “I’m not a racist, I hate niggers, jews, spics, hajis and catholics all the same”. Yeah, sorry, but I’m really gonna hafta ask you to go fuck yourself.

Dude, you do know that’s not actually him, right?

 
 

What I learned from COPS: If you plan to commit a crime, a belt or suspenders will aid your escape.

 
 

Selfish and completely without empathy. In a sane world, they’d be objects of scorn. James Bond movie villians

White cats for everyone!

 
 

Dude, you do know that’s not actually him, right?

No. But I still feel good about my rant. I really do hate hearing that crap from white cranks. So, there’s that I guess.

 
 

Ha Ha Ha….

I’m a Janitor, never completed my education and proud of it. I could and would love to free any of you mind numbed lefty robots from your jockstraps just because I bought the power to do so. I would love to suck off any or all of you government school useful idiots.Debased by your studly loins. I could do that. I have the power to stuff cocks up my ass and you would have the large dick on my forehead.in my [Homoerotic] administration.

How you may ask? Pay to play with a conservative candidate who wins. It’s a lot cheaper than your student loans, isn’t it?

Can you imagine you government school BS’s ,MS’s and PHD’s being fired by a janitor whose new job is cooking up lies? Ha Ha Ha!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No. But I still feel good about my rant. I really do hate hearing that crap from white cranks. So, there’s that I guess.

I enjoy ranting from time to time even if there’s no reason to do so, too.

 
 

T&U; are you sure that’s not him? Someone spoofed him later, but I think I got the original pile he left. Link is still the same as it was before.

 
 

What I learned from COPS

All crime is committed at night in the summertime. Or in the Deep South.

 
 

Pay to play with a conservative candidate who wins.

Lemme know how that works for ya.

Nothing personal, of course, A212. Just cueing you for the talking points you can discuss on September 3 at Redstate.com when you get your account. Hopefully many birthday party there will have many posts from all you mind numbed lefty robots, enough to keep the mods hopping left and right, or even enough to crash the server. I would be proud to have you there, after all.. The bigger the better.

And make sure to use the barrage approach- find a dozen or more places, brouse MY ARCHIVE ahead of time, plan ahead to open up a comment box were a snappy answer is apropriate (there are copious amounts). Plan ahead, compose the response, open many windows or tabs, and click in rapid succession to post them all at once. Cheers!

Hopefully, with your libtard help, I get a thousands of posts on Art Appreciation day, September 3 so Neil and Moe can be blamming away for days afterwards.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What I learned from COPS: The slang term “wifebeater” for a sleeveless undershirt is disturbingly accurate.

 
 

A brief history of poor people in America:

19th Century

20th Century

Today

 
 

White cats for everyone!

And a contract with society ensuring that our faces never appear on film. Our kitteh is our good side.

 
 

The richest people in the 3rd world are richer than most of the rich people in the US.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U; are you sure that’s not him? Someone spoofed him later, but I think I got the original pile he left. Link is still the same as it was before.

Yeah, but anybody can link back to his site. I just really doubt that AChance actually trolls SN! for fun. He’s too busy being a psychopath.

 
 

All crime is committed at night in the summertime. Or in the Deep South.

In Florida, actually. Flat for as far as the eye can see makes for good optics when filming car chases.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And make sure to use the barrage approach- find a dozen or more places, brouse MY ARCHIVE ahead of time, plan ahead to open up a comment box were a snappy answer is apropriate (there are copious amounts). Plan ahead, compose the response, open many windows or tabs, and click in rapid succession to post them all at once. Cheers!

Also, he’s not-so-subtly telling us how to fuck Redstate up but good.

 
 

This “color TV” meme is still kicking? That shit has been around for as long as I can remember, and that’s decades. Basically, a color television equals wealth and/or luxury. It can be used interchangeably with prisoners or poor people, depending on who you’re trying to prove actually has things really good, despite appearances.

 
 

When he compares the poor in the US to third world countries, he’s lost the argument before it starts.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This “color TV” meme is still kicking? That shit has been around for as long as I can remember, and that’s decades.

Yup. Never mind the fact that you can get a fucking color TV at the Salvation Army for $10. Apparently, every PENNY that poor people spend should only be on food and, like, socks or something.

 
 

Looks like the trolls are getting bolder. I don’t have to get off the boat again to view the bizzarity.

Those 3rd World despots aren’t any different than the 1st World wannabe despots here in the US. They just speak a different language and usually don’t need sunscreen to enjoy wandering about their little piece of real estate (in the company of their designated bodyguards), observing how much their people love them by giving of themselves to exault and uplift their glorious leader. Who would want to blow that gig? To go from being THE TopAlphaMuthaFukkinDog to just another RichFatBastardClone in the US?

Oh, yeah, best scenic view of Ohio- rearview mirror @70 mph., any road you choose.

Re: job search-not only am I overqualified, I’m too old.

Dammit. Dammitall!

 
 

The richest despots in the 3rd world do get to have more fun, with private armies and stuff. So there’s that.

 
 

Socks are for closers.

 
 

That was suppose to be after all.

 
 

Ah, Florida…land of serial killers and child molesters. I miss it. *sniff*

 
 

The difference between, say a poor person in Afghanistan and a poor person in America is that the former just had her shack shelled by the latter. Ergo, Gutfeld is right.

 
 

Ah, Florida…land of serial killers and child molesters. I miss it. *sniff*

They can mine that place for dumb criminal videos for years to come.

 
 

The difference between, say a poor person in Afghanistan and a poor person in America is that the former just had her shack shelled by the latter. Ergo, Gutfeld is right.

Oh, thanks for the sobering truth, D. But you forgot to mention that we’re doing them a favor by introducing them to kilotons of Christianity and freedom!

 
 

The richest despots in the 3rd world do get to have more fun, with private armies and stuff. So there’s that.

Yes, the idea of buying a politician there takes on a much more literal meaning.

 
 

The difference between, say a poor person in Afghanistan and a poor person in America is that the former just had her shack shelled by the latter.

Plus…no shag carpeting.

 
 

Yeah, but anybody can link back to his site. I just really doubt that AChance actually trolls SN! for fun. He’s too busy being a psychopath.

Why you gotta be hating on my self-righteous preaching? I don’t care if it’s him or my mom. Still gonna give him the business.

 
 

The difference between, say a poor person in Afghanistan and a poor person in America is that the former just had her shack shelled by the latter.

This is the irony of the whole mess in Iraq, I might point out. Many of the soldiers who fought there joined the military in the 90s for the education benefits and the signing bonuses because they didn’t want to live in poverty anymore and they ended up making hundreds of thousands of Iraqis poor and homeless.

 
 

Plus…no shag carpeting.

What do you mean? They have dead goats lying all over the place!

 
 

ended up making hundreds of thousands of Iraqis poor and homeless.

Their bosses made an awful lot of Americans poor and homeless too.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This is the irony of the whole mess in Iraq, I might point out. Many of the soldiers who fought there joined the military in the 90s for the education benefits and the signing bonuses because they didn’t want to live in poverty anymore and they ended up making hundreds of thousands of Iraqis poor and homeless.

Similarly, the affordability and ubiquity of color TVs and Wal-Mart shoes is based on the poverty of people in other countries and the destruction of the manufacturing base in the US, leading to more poor people here.

 
 

What I learned from my experience with cops is to keep my mouth shut in the county jail or someone will fill it for me.

 
 

Argentina approved gay marriage this morning.

 
 

What I learned from COPS

Policemen never eat donuts.

 
 

best scenic view of Ohio

You mean Alabama of the North?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

What I learned from “COPS”

Doesn’t G.G. Failin’ know that “COPS” is a TV show… it’s a highly edited, mediated view of things. In other words,

IT’S NOT REAL!!!

Everything they fucking believe is based on a fantasy.

 
 

every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting….. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven.

What that means to me is that every poor household has to live with filthy carpet installed over 30 years ago.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You know what a “luxury good” in America is?

HEALTH INSURANCE.

 
 

What that means to me is that every poor household has to live with filthy carpet installed over 30 years ago.

g, that was my EXACT thought when I read that. I was like, “who still has shag carpet in his house? It must be fucking disgusting. Possibly a health hazard.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

<i.g, that was my EXACT thought when I read that. I was like, “who still has shag carpet in his house? It must be fucking disgusting. Possibly a health hazard.”

There’s a reason why rates of asthma are higher in poor children…

 
 

DEFINITELY a health hazard. It’s like a breeding ground for allergies.

 
 

Hmm, another country legalizes gay marriage thereby proving itself to me more progessive and forward thinking than the US, the so-called ‘land of the free and home of the brave’? That’s so common it’s hardly even news anymore. Unless the gay marriage is mandatory, that would totally be news.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, unclosed tags cause black mold.

 
 

every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting….. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven.

Out of curiosity, has he ever tried living in said slice of heaven?

 
 

You know what a “luxury good” in America is?

HEALTH INSURANCE.

This has so much win in it, I want to marry it.

 
 

There’s a reason why rates of asthma are higher in poor children…

Don’t you need “an overabundance of prescription drugs” to treat that?

 
 

every “poor” household they bust into has shag carpeting….. This to me, is not poverty: it’s a slice of heaven.

Really?

Cuz to me, it’s a sign that the housekeeper is too poor to own a proper vacuum cleaner and figures the pile will hide everything but the largest corpses.

 
 

The richest people in the 3rd world are richer than most of the rich people in the US. – El Cid

Heck. The professional class families of my flatmates (from third world countries) in grad school had more perqs of wealth than my professional class family had when I was growing up — we only had a maid come in once a fortnight: they had a maid come in twice a week and their fathers had someone to drive them to work (not quite personal drivers, but several families would go in together for a driver), etc.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This has so much win in it, I want to marry it.

Move to Argentina and you’ll be able to in just a couple of years.

Don’t you need “an overabundance of prescription drugs” to treat that?

Now, we wouldn’t want to encourage them to rely on prescription drugs when everyone knows it’s just because they’re too lazy to breathe.

 
 

Also, unclosed tags cause black mold.

Then I definitely owe everybody here an apology for yesterday. As I tagfailed all over the place.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve lived in a couple of houses with shag carpeting…one was in the late 80s, which wasn’t *too* bad, and one was in the late 90s, which was fucking disgusting. My cat would hork up gigantic bugs and the only way to clean them up was to wait until her puke dried and cut it out of the carpet.

 
 

Out of curiosity, has he ever tried living in said slice of heaven?

Upthread, I invited him to do just that. Since he obviously thinks it’s so great.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Then I definitely owe everybody here an apology for yesterday. As I tagfailed all over the place.

My allergist is going to kill you.

 
 

Then I definitely owe everybody here an apology for yesterday. As I tagfailed all over the place.

Did you know Bon Ami doesn’t work on shag carpeting?

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Shorter #1: You poor people better shut the fuck up because we can make your lives even worse than they are now. Go ahead. Try us.

Shorter #2: I am a pig-ignorant buffoon who knows absolutely nothing about the rest of the world, yet cannot resist the urge to display my pig-ignorance in public.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Shag carpeting, as a rule, should only be used for van interiors.

Giant Frank Frazetta or Boris Vallejo pieces, though, are appropriate for all decorative purposes.

 
 

Giant Frank Frazetta or Boris Vallejo pieces, though, are appropriate for all decorative purposes.

Particularly if they’re tapestries made of shag.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

There’s a THIRD world?

 
 

My allergist is going to kill you.

Got him/her on speed dial, do you?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Particularly if they’re tapestries made of shag.

I was just commenting the other day that that the wall behind our couch just screams out for a giant shag Frank Frazetta and/or Boris Vallejo tapestry.

 
 

Upthread, I invited him to do just that. Since he obviously thinks it’s so great.

As bad as this is, the worst comment I’ve heard to date came on the subject of poverty came (as it so often does) from Bill Whittle who, in a rousing speech on the value of positive thinking, explained “Even in the hardest times I ever lived through, I never thought of myself as a poor person. I always thought of myself as a rich person experiencing severe cash-flow problems.”

That’s because you’ve never been poor, Billy – the “hardest times” he’d been describing involved middle class living off of friends’ loans until one of them finally came around to kick him in the ass until he got a job. No wonder they think poverty’s so great.

 
 

I was just commenting the other day that that the wall behind our couch just screams out for a giant shag Frank Frazetta and/or Boris Vallejo tapestry.

You laugh, but my first girlfriend in college (for NYers, she lived on Staten Island, near New Dorp…you probably got some from her) lived in a cozy house with her dad and brother…that had shag carpeting on the floors and up the walls.

That was the first clue she and I weren’t going to make it very long.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Got him/her on speed dial, do you?

Yes, but not for my allergies ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo…

(Okay, I just grossed myself out).

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

lived in a cozy house with her dad and brother…that had shag carpeting on the floors and up the walls.

I’ve seen that, but usually just in rec rooms, not the entire house…

Was it in the bathroom? Because that’s just unhygienic.

 
 

“Hang in there. If it’s any comfort, having way beyond entry-level experience can make little or no difference or, in fact, be a hindrance. ”

*raises hand* 450 resumes with one 1 grossly overqualified job offer don’t lie. The people above me would have been peer level, and resent my input at their level, especially when its right. Which is usually. It takes me 3 months of effort to be allowed to do stuff I used to just go do. 30 months now and a half dozen ass-saving improvements to the program and I get raised 1 level, to where I was a decade ago.

And I have it lucky. I know people who’ve been laid of from here who haven’t found a job in 18 months.

Go into stripping, T&U. It’s got more dignity than trying to find a career, and generally pays better.

And post video…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Particularly if they’re tapestries made of shag.

You must have an interesting latch-hooking club.

 
 

Was it in the bathroom? Because that’s just unhygienic.

Didn’t look. I was afraid.

 
 

You must have an interesting latch-hooking club.

Yes. *Latch*. Hooking.

There’s a bit of….hooking…going on. To be sure.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Go into stripping, T&U. It’s got more dignity than trying to find a career, and generally pays better.

What club do you dance in, Mysticdog? Uh… AFAF.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Go into stripping, T&U. It’s got more dignity than trying to find a career, and generally pays better.

Do strippers normally get health insurance?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Didn’t look. I was afraid.

That was wise.

My grandparents had carpet in their bathroom. It wasn’t shag, and it didn’t go around the toilet, but still…GROSS.

 
 

the Sultan of Brunei would totally trade places in a heartbeat…

For more than thirty years, the Sultan of Brunei has often spoken of his dream of devoting his life to working the speakers at a drive-through in San Bernadino. Despite offering inducements of over $17 billion in cash, free and clear ownership of eight palaces, and full command of the highly trained Brunei Royal Sexual Guards Regiment, the Sultan has never found any Burger King employees willing to swap places with him.

 
 

I never hear poor people telling that bullshit story about the happiest man in the kingdom having no shirt. Lots of well to do people sure like to lean on that. It’s just more assuaging guilt for allowing someone to live like a stray pet while you buy a brand new Lexus every two years.

 
 

Do strippers normally get health insurance?

No, but there are lots of men who will cover their chests.

 
 

Argentina approved gay marriage this morning.

Bien por la Argentina!

Spent a week in S.A. a couple years ago. Rio was a tourist trap with pushy hookers, Santiago was a big fucking strip mall, but Buenos Ares was like a huge Spanish-speaking San Francisco. Loved it.

 
 

What I learned from COPS

Anybody–and I do mean anybody–will sign a release form to allow their image to be used on national television. No matter how humiliating their behavior.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Do strippers normally get health insurance?

I think it’s even more awful than not having benefits. I believe most of them have to pay a fee to any club in which they work, then keep any additional money they make. It’s like being a yellow cab driver- you pay the guy who owns the medallion to drive, then pocket what you make beyond that.

 
 

I was just commenting the other day that that the wall behind our couch just screams out for a giant shag Frank Frazetta and/or Boris Vallejo tapestry.

Aaaaand, we’re back to breasts.

 
 

The poorest gay person in Argentina can now have something that the richest gay person in any of 44 US states is denied.

I haz a sad, and I’m not even gay. Or rich.

 
 

Do strippers normally get health insurance?

If they choose to live in the right country OF COURSE THEY DO.

 
 

On the topic of Staten Island, I had a project a few years ago to document the condition of a block of houses before the city began excavation for a new deep sewer. All but one were typical lower-middle-class wood frame houses from the 1950s. The last had each room finished in a different animal print (wallpaper on the walls and ceiling, rug on the floor): there was a zebra room, a leopard room, an alligator room, and so on.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think it’s even more awful than not having benefits. I believe most of them have to pay a fee to any club in which they work, then keep any additional money they make. It’s like being a yellow cab driver- you pay the guy who owns the medallion to drive, then pocket what you make beyond that.

Yeah, and I know that sometimes they have to tip out the bartender and the doorman and blah blah blah…unless you’re using it as a platform to get, you know, clients, then most of the time you’re better off just waiting tables.

 
 

EXOTIC DANCERS UNION
SEIU LOCAL 790
1390 Market St., Suite 1118
San Francisco,CA 94102
(510) 465-0122 x461

 
 

Do strippers normally get health insurance?

If they choose to live in the right country OF COURSE THEY DO.

So the best choice for the unemployed is to live in Windsor and strip in Detroit.

 
 

I remember watching a show on LinkTV about strippers trying to form a union. I knew they had actual benefits.

 
 

So the best choice for the unemployed is to live in Windsor and strip in Detroit.
Don’t knock it. It’s been working for Elizabeth II for like 50 years now.

 
 

The fact is, the richest stripper in a Third World country would trade that spot for the opportunity to be asked to show her tits here in the comments at S,N!

 
 

“What I learned from my experience with cops is to keep my mouth shut in the county jail or someone will fill it for me.”

Cops in this State have little interest in white collar crime under any circumstance and certainly none in something as mundane as improperly releasing files.

 
 

The last had each room finished in a different animal print (wallpaper on the walls and ceiling, rug on the floor): there was a zebra room, a leopard room, an alligator room, and so on.

Did you see Wonderland?

 
 

It can be used interchangeably with prisoners or poor people, depending on who you’re trying to prove actually has things really good, despite appearances.

This is also true of anal sex.

 
 

77south –

That’s the first time in a month I’ve laughed out loud while reading this blog.

 
 

Did you see Wonderland?

No. Was I in it?

 
 

ALERT: If B4 invites you into his shag-carpeted, windowless van, DO NOT GET IN. Not even if he’s looking for his puppy.

 
 

That’s the first time in a month I’ve laughed out loud while reading this blog.
Making a difference. Changing lives. 77south since 1973.

 
 

ALERT: If B4 invites you into his shag-carpeted, windowless van, DO NOT GET IN.

The mere phrase “plush chamber” makes my flesh crawl.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Not even if he’s looking for his puppy.

ESPECIALLY if he’s looking for his puppy.

 
 

the richest stripper in a Third World country

If you live in a country where most people can’t really afford clothing, is it stripping?

 
 

No. Was I in it?

I dunno. Do you like real wood interiors?

 
Lurking Canadian
 

If you live in a country where most people can’t really afford clothing, is it stripping?

You were the kid who kept a copy of National Geographic under his bed, weren’t you?

 
 

Not even if he’s looking for his puppy.

ESPECIALLY if he’s looking for his puppy.

Or if his arm is in a sling and he’s trying to wrestle a couch into it.

 
 

You were the kid who kept a copy of National Geographic under his bed, weren’t you?

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO…

I snuck under my *brother’s* bed and borrowed his.

 
 

ESPECIALLY if he’s looking for his puppy.

Yeeeeeah. What’s his “puppy”?

 
 

Do you like real wood interiors?

No. I’ve now ruled out plush chambers and real wood interiors. Maybe I should buy a fleshlight.

 
 

Or if his arm is in a sling and he’s trying to wrestle a couch into it.

It puts the lotion in the basket!

 
 

Yeah, and I know that sometimes they have to tip out the bartender and the doorman and blah blah blah…unless you’re using it as a platform to get, you know, clients, then most of the time you’re better off just waiting tables.

Waiting tables generally doesn’t provide easy access to a steady supply of meth and X. That’s why I’m a stripper.

 
 

Wingnuts are mad that Obama said al Qeada is racist.

I wonder if Obama did this as a dare, to see just how stupid the right win–

Oh, hell, he has to know already.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Wingnuts are mad that Obama said al Qeada is racist.

Well, sure. That’s because they hate us ’cause we’re fwee. No other possible reason for their hating us may be admitted to the discussion, or the terrorists have won.

 
 

If you want, view my profile, read my reviews, read others’ comments , add your own comments or even ‘friend’ me here!

 
 

That’s why I’m a stripper.

*fills bra with singles*

 
 

Is this the sort of van B^4 drives? Is it parked down by the river? just so we are on the same page.
http://brotherscott.org/fancyvan3.bmp

 
 

Is this the sort of van B^4 drives? Is it parked down by the river? just so we are on the same page.
http://brotherscott.org/fancyvan3.bmp

All that’s missing is the “Honk if you’re horny!” bumpersticker.

 
 

*fills bra with singles*

Just remember: each shingle is supposed to lap 2/3 over the shingle below.

 
Well-Boned Todd
 

He said ‘shag.’ Heh heh.

 
 

Wingnuts are mad that Obama said al Qeada is racist.

Fuck me.

How many times have we heard those jagoffs point to the Darfur conflict and say “this proves that not just al-Qaeda but Islam is raaaaacist, really really raaaacist”? Now that Obama’s making their EXACT same point, suddenly it’s playing the race card? Grow the fuck up.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Waiting tables generally doesn’t provide easy access to a steady supply of meth and X.

You’ve obviously never worked in a restaurant.

 
 

All that’s missing is the “Honk if you’re horny!” bumpersticker.

“Ass, Gas, Or Grass: Nobody Rides For Free”

 
 

I guess what American conservatives are jealous of is that in the US the difference in the quality of life between the super-rich and the poorest people here is far less entertainingly gigantically obscene than you can see in the 3rd world.

Here, the super-rich may have their city-sized yachts and all, but the poor there aren’t begging for food and going to shelters periodically, but crossing rivers from Zimbabwe to South Africa and getting eaten by crocodiles or killed by Hippos, or fleeing land baron narco-paramilitary death squads and ending up in a hand-built shanty on a hillside which collapses in a giant mudslide when it rains, or trying to grow a plant or two in a desert because you can’t afford tools or seeds or fertilizers or, of course, food, and you have to watch your children shrivel and starve, etc.

We just don’t have the fun of dramatic poverty that they do there. Sure, it’s grinding and deadly and illness-causing and pushes people into repeated outbreaks of mass-murder / suicide, but, still, most of these people aren’t crawling on their hands and knees as skeletal, bleeding masses begging for the tiniest drop of water and a place to be sheltered from mudslides and predatory animals.

Where’s the fun in that?

 
 

Fuck me.

How many times have we heard those jagoffs point to the Darfur conflict and say “this proves that not just al-Qaeda but Islam is raaaaacist, really really raaaacist”? Now that Obama’s making their EXACT same point, suddenly it’s playing the race card? Grow the fuck up.

Happened yesterday, never happened.

 
 

Happened yesterday, never happened.

So I haven’t shown VS my etchings???

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So I haven’t shown VS my etchings???

Did Glenn Beck talk about it? If not, then no.

 
 

Now that Obama’s making their EXACT same point, suddenly it’s playing the race card?

They have but one truth in their philosophy around which all else revolves.

Anti-Obama.

 
 

So I haven’t shown VS my etchings???

Did Glenn Beck talk about it? If not, then no.

Let’s not bring the Beckster into this. Etchings? Glenn Blech? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

 
 

Did Glenn Beck talk about it? If not, then no.

It’s hard to buy commercial time on his show, with all those expensive ads for gold and seeds.

 
 

I think it’s even more awful than not having benefits. I believe most of them have to pay a fee to any club in which they work, then keep any additional money they make. It’s like being a yellow cab driver- you pay the guy who owns the medallion to drive, then pocket what you make beyond that.

Oh its ridiculous, but it is still more take home at the end of a shift than about anything else. If its a decent club/town, etc. The dignity thing is kind of a joke – no one gets to keep their dignity anymore, lol.

I’m being somewhat facetious, but not that much. Its a little absurd. OK, more than a little.

The way I see it, there are two basic paths left. you can mass market something to poorer people, but they are getting less and less money for anything but absolute necessities, so if you want to be in a mass market, you pretty much need to sell a necessity, perhaps something mandatory. Insurance is awesome that way. Housing/rent. You can also go with feeding addictions; gambling and alcohol and sex are a great ways to make money off poor people.

Or, you can sell something rich people want/will throw their money away for. bigger margins, less work, and so on.

And skimming-middleman is still the easiest path to riches if you aren’t starting with them… banking, investment, real estate, insurance, and to a lesser extent, distribution of products.

Sorry if I’m a little bitter today. Well, for a long time, lol. I’ve said for years I have no idea what young people should be advised to do for a career; I think careers are a dying thing for the poorer 3/4’s of society.

 
 

Anti-Obama.

I say Obama introduce an immediate plan for the complete and total privatization of Medicare. Let the GOP run as fast as possible in the opposite direction and see what comes out of it.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Now that Obama’s making their EXACT same point, suddenly it’s playing the race card? Grow the fuck up.

Only white people, especially white people approved by Breitbart, can point out racism. When black people point out racism, it’s reverse-racism, or super-racism, or they just don’t know how good they’ve got it and they’re lucky their ancestors were slaves, or something.

 
 

Also…whenever I see “VS” I think of some kind of venereal disease or VS., as in versus…which I think is appropriate. 🙂

 
 

it’s reverse-racism, or super-racism

“super-racism”? Lulz.

 
 

Also…whenever I see “VS” I think of some kind of venereal disease or VS., as in versus…which I think is appropriate. 🙂

Really?

Makes me think of overpriced panties.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

<i.Also…whenever I see “VS” I think of some kind of venereal disease or VS., as in versus…which I think is appropriate. 🙂

It makes me think of shitty bras.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

DAMMIT.

 
 

You snooze, you lose!

Now, show us your tits.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Now, show us your tits.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? Nobody else has to.

 
 

*shows hairy chest* Ok. Your turn.

 
 

So I haven’t shown VS my etchings???

I found her in the fetal position, saying “soooo cooooldd” over and over again, so I’m going to assume that you did.

 
 

And skimming-middleman is still the easiest path to riches if you aren’t starting with them… banking, investment, real estate, insurance, and to a lesser extent, distribution of products.

I’m a distributor–you should remove that as a path to riches. I make a living, that’s all.

 
 

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? Nobody else has to.

Call it….on the job training.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

ESPECIALLY if he’s looking for his puppy.

Didn’t find the puppy, but found a nice, nice kitty or two.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Didn’t find the puppy, but found a nice, nice kitty or two.

Wow. That actually made me shudder.

 
 

is are childerens learning?

 
 

Daily Gut: What I Learned From ‘Cops’

Ah, yet another moron who believes he is wise because he watches ludicrous fiction on TV. Kill yourself now. Thank you.

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

Parts of the US are very like the Third World, and one unifying characteristic is the vast gulf between the richest and poorest, with the richest being very rich indeed, and the poor not only being very poor but also strangely invisible to the rich no matter how visible to everyone else. Only someone with this odd form of blindness could say anything as brain-cell-killingly stupid as “sure, an Imelda Marcos-type would TOTALLY trade places with that starving tubercular dude sleeping on the subway grate.”

 
 

Ah, yet another moron who believes he is wise because he watches ludicrous fiction on TV. Kill yourself now. Thank you.

Almost as much fun as watching them try to justify torture with 24. Super geniuses.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Wow. That actually made me shudder.

You must be cold- it’s nice and warm in my shag-carpeted van.

 
 

You must be cold- it’s nice and warm in my shag-carpeted van.

I have candy in mine.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You must be cold- it’s nice and warm in my shag-carpeted van.

Thanks for the offer, but I have my cell phone and an old Big Mac wrapper. I think I can build a fire out of that…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I have candy in mine.

Ooooh, candy! Does it have nuts in it?

 
 

Ooooh, candy! Does it have nuts in it?

HA! Yes it does. I also have hot dogs if you’d like one.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Ew

 
 

The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder.

I garauntee you that Gutfield and pretty much all of his “real American” readers would trade places with this richest person ina Third World country in a heartbeat. “I luvs my cuntry!!!… Wha? I can go to anuther cuntry and be ten thousand times richer than anyone else thar? Well sign me up! Can you get me a cuntry where all those poor people are brown? You can! BONUS!!!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

So, is this schadenfreude, gay-baiting, or masturbatory material for rightards?

I think the answer is “yes”.

 
 

My van has ponies. Also inside, a tinier van, which is tsam’s. Inside that, an even tinier van which is BBBB’s, and inside that is a tinier van that is mine again, and so on.

 
 

So, is this schadenfreude, gay-baiting, or masturbatory material for rightards?

Ginger bashing.

 
 

My van has ponies.

Something tells me you have not got a van.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

My van has ponies. Also inside, a tinier van, which is tsam’s. Inside that, an even tinier van which is BBBB’s, and inside that is a tinier van that is mine again, and so on.

Sounds like something out of Borges… The Lot of Infinite Vans maybe?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My van has ponies. Also inside, a tinier van, which is tsam’s. Inside that, an even tinier van which is BBBB’s, and inside that is a tinier van that is mine again, and so on.

Oooh, I’m going with your van!

 
 

Oooh, I’m going with your van!

Must be candy ponies.

 
 

It’s the tigris in the tank I worry about.

 
 

Lot of Infinite Vans is the hottest new electronica duo from Seattle.

 
 

I’ve got a 59 Chevy with Tigris tanked
B4 scorned
T&U on the floor

 
 

actor212 said,
July 15, 2010 at 15:42

“I fully expect any day now for Michelle Bachmann to declare the start of a NEW new movement called the Biscuit Baggers.”

No no Actor, the NEW new movement will focus more on immigration and their slogan will be “Tea Bag the Dirty Sanchezes!”

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I’ve got a 59 Chevy with Tigris tanked
B4 scorned
T&U on the floor

Preferable, I suppose, to dying little by little, piece by piece.

 
 

I think the new movement will just be a bowel movement.

 
 

Sounds like something out of Borges… The Lot of Infinite Vans maybe?

The Carpark of Fucking Pathfinders?

 
 

My van has ponies.

Cut to the chase: my van has pot, Twinkies and a condom dispenser.

 
 

Women with large tits and no teef should not wear tube tops.

I must respectfully disagree.

 
 

My van has no room in the back on account of being full of batteries to drive the electric motor I converted to in order to reduce my carbon footprint. Climb aboard liberal treehugging bitches!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The Carpark of Fucking Pathfinders?

Bravissima!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My van has no room in the back on account of being full of batteries to drive the electric motor I converted to in order to reduce my carbon footprint. Climb aboard liberal treehugging bitches!

My panties just flew off.

 
 

Climb aboard liberal treehugging bitches!

Liberal dating website?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Climb aboard liberal treehugging bitches!

Where they at?

 
 

My panties just flew off.

Oh, the flew panaties!

 
 

Oh, the flew panaties!

I’m so naming my next band Flu Panaties.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, the flew panaties!

You? Are ridiculous.

 
 

My panties just flew off.

Just one of the many beneficial side effects of the electro-magnetic flux generated by my vans battery array. And hell, it’s not even fully charged.

 
 

You? Are ridiculous.

But am I curious yellow?

 
 

That conclusion is a real thing of beauty:

Anyway, for more information on this topic, watch Cops.

And if you disagree with me, that’s your problem.

“Information” – I don’t think it means what you think it means.

I do not agree with you, & it is not a problem.

Wingnuts are mad that Obama said al Qeada is racist.

Might be noteworthy that Bin Laden is a millionaire from a filthy-rich family with an army of fanatical followers – in other words, exactly who wingnuts want to be. A year or so back the GOP was announcing its plan to use the Taliban as a political role-model. Today they’re apologizing to BP for requiring some restitution for ruining one of the richest fisheries in the world, while simultaneously cutting off funding for the unemployment benefits that are by far the fastest & most efficient stimulus for America’s ailing economy.

There is no “why” – they just flat-out hate America, period.

Can’t wait to see Angle, Bachmann & Palin in their designer burqas, denouncing Obama’s racist decision not to allow public stonings of adulterers. Goodness knows Teh Prophet Reagan (pbuh) would’ve done things differently! You betcha!

 
 

But am I curious yellow?

Not after the antibiotics kick in.

 
 

But am I curious yellow?

They call me Mellow Yellow. (Quite rightly.)

 
 

In the Vanities
No one wears Panities

 
 

tigris the van goddess. All hail…

 
 

My panties just flew off.

Pics or it didn’t happen.

 
 

Not after the antibiotics kick in.

Panatie flu and curious yellow fever are both caused by viruses..

 
 

We all live in a yellow Curious.

 
 

I do have a pet spirochete, though.

 
 

Panatie flu and curious yellow fever are both caused by viruses..

I grow those in my garden! Japanese viruses, as well as pansies. Long pansies and short pansies. They make a nice centerpiece on my panaties.

 
 

Ogden Nash said,

July 15, 2010 at 19:49

In the Vanities
No one wears Panities

I”ve never seen a purple panity
And I would really like see one
But I live in the Vanities
Where there nowhere seems to be one.

 
Change is coming...
 

Palin and Obambi tied in 2012 polling! And in a Democrat poll!

 
 

I do have a pet spirochete, though.

I had that toy when I was a kid. Still have some of the drawings I made with it.

 
 

Palin and Obambi tied in 2012 polling!

Your sexual fantasies are really disturbed, Troofie.

 
 

And if you disagree with me, that’s your problem.

Is there a better way to say “I know I’m full of shit but I don’t care.”?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Palin and Obambi tied in 2012 polling!

Probably lack of name recognition for Obambi.

 
Change is coming...
 

Lol, it so funny, you said she’s unelectable but she is in a dead heat with The Anointed One.

Liberals must be running scared…….

 
 

Palin and Obambi tied in 2012 polling!

Your sexual fantasies are really disturbed, Troofie.

I dunno, is she gagged, too? Because that would be a really normal fantasy regarding her, if you ask me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Probably lack of name recognition for Obambi.

Voter ignorance these days is absolutely stunning, isn’t it?

 
 

Probably lack of name recognition for Obambi.

There’s a rumour Obambi wears girl’s panaties.

 
 

I dunno, is she gagged, too? Because that would be a really normal fantasy regarding her, if you ask me.

*reaching for Brain Bleach*

Um, thanks.

 
 

you said she’s unelectable but she is in a dead heat with The Anointed One.

No one said she’s unelectable. Look at Alaska, proof that enough morons in one place create a critical mass.

So when you moving up there?

 
Change is coming...
 

Someday soon you’re going to be saying “Madame President”.

 
 

It’s not sexual, I just can’t imagine anyone enjoys that voice.

 
 

Someday soon you’re going to be saying “Madame President”.

Depends on how much I’ve paid your mom, Troofie, and if she looks good in glasses and a bun.

 
 

Palin and Obambi tied in 2012 polling! And in a Democrat poll!

Dear Republicans: whatever you do, don’t you DARE nominate Palin in 2012! Us poor defenseless liberals are SO terrified of her aptitude for disemboweling the English language winking pulling insane shit out of her ass expressing dog-whistle racist sentiments like “half black or half white” quitting patriotism, it would make liberals around the globe cry worse than Al Gore buying a Humvee that runs on whooping-crane blood & using it to mow down pandas!

Please, for the love of Soros, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 
 

Someday soon you’re going to be saying “Madame President”.

Bookmark it!

 
Change is coming...
 

From the USA to Europe to Canada to Japan to Australia, leftists, liberals, and “progressives” are on the way out.

 
 

Mark Halperin:

Palin thrives on the unpredictable, and as her new video shows, she can adapt quickly. “What she knows, you can’t teach,” says Mark McKinnon, a top strategist for George W. Bush and McCain. “And what she doesn’t know she can learn — and she’s learning fast.”

 
 

Liberals must be running scared…….

Can you see by our somber silence that we’re scared shitless? Shall I bookmark it, fool?

 
 

Mark McKinnon, a top strategist for George W. Bush and McCain

Yyyyeaaahhhh. That whole McCain thing was a roaring success.

 
 

I’m voting for Odumbo.

 
 

Mark McKinnon, a top strategist for George W. Bush and McCain.

Wasn’t he the guy who wrote that book that called Palin the biggest mistake McCain made in 2008?

 
 

From the USA to Europe to Canada to Japan to Australia, leftists, liberals, and “progressives” are on the way out.

You forgot Saudi Arabia, where they’re all gone. Nothing but right wingers in the government there.

 
 

From the USA to Europe to Canada to Japan to Australia, leftists, liberals, and “progressives” are on the way out.

*YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN*

I note you conveniently ignore that right wing Angela Merkel LOST HER LEGISLATIVE BODY last month….

 
 

Wasn’t he the guy who wrote that book that called Palin the biggest mistake McCain made in 2008?

Yeah–he has been on Maddow’s show a few times, trying to look less crazy than the rest of the Republican hordes. I think that at the time, he was likely bitter about watching a campaign be disemboweled by one of the dumbest women on the planet. Sounds like he’s been reeducated.

 
 

Change is coming

WORST. PORNO. EVER.

 
 

LOST HER LEGISLATIVE BODY last month….

Giggity

 
 

WORST. PORNO. EVER.

Cautionary tale about the dangers of pinkeye.

 
 

Change is coming… said,

July 15, 2010 at 20:06

Someday soon you’re going to be saying “Madame President”.

This is how it’s going to go down.

Bookmark it, libs!

 
 

Does anyone use bookmarks anymore? I used to love bookmarks…with cool pics of cats and unicorns and fairies on ’em.

 
 

Scott said,

July 15, 2010 at 20:09

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…………………………….

 
 

Does anyone use bookmarks anymore?

I stick a Post-It™ note¹

¹ This post brought you to by 3M Corporation. Corporate Sponsor of Actor212 Enterprises.

 
 

Are we trading Troofie bookmarks? I have this one:

The Truth About Leaving Sadly No said,

August 13, 2009 at 20:57 (kill)

I think I’ve made my point.

Now I will leave here, forever, no longer visiting or posting, but I’m doing this voluntarily out of my own desire.

And this is not a spoofer. This is the real Truth/Authentic.

By, fuckers.

Just can’t quit.

 
 

Oh jeez, DA! Warn us when you’re putting up a photo!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The best part of that is the mis-spelling of “bye.” Seriously, Troofie, it’s a three fucking letter word.

 
 

I stick a Post-It™ note¹

¹ This post brought you to by 3M Corporation. Corporate Sponsor of Actor212 Enterprises.

Do I have to pay you every time I use one?

 
 

Do I have to pay you every time I use one?

Depends on what form of payment you can offer.

 
 

“By, fuckers” is a really rude way to close a letter. I like to sign mine with “Sincerely Yours”. This probably explains why Troofie doesn’t have a job.

 
 

Oh jeez, DA! Warn us when you’re putting up a photo!

That hobo must really treasure that pancake.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“By, fuckers” is a really rude way to close a letter.

Nah, it’s really an exclamation of surprise, like “By Jove!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This probably explains why Troofie doesn’t have a job.

You also generally need to wear a proper pair of pants into interviews. Grey semen-stained tightie whities don’t count.

 
 

“Depends on what form of payment you can offer.”

Classic Perv Answer by actor, ™

 
 

You also generally need to wear a proper pair of pants into interviews. Grey semen-stained tightie whities don’t count.

*giggle* There’s prolly poo in there, too. Sorry to be gross, but c’mon…it’s troofus.

 
 

And in a Democrat poll!

Grammatically correct English is hard! Let’s go immigrant-bashing!

 
 

Grey semen

What comes after the anal probing by aliens.

 
 

Classic Perv Answer by actor, ™

We were in negotiations. I had my game face on.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*giggle* There’s prolly poo in there, too. Sorry to be gross, but c’mon…it’s troofus.

I was going to add something about skid marks in there, but figured that was probably a given.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money (Margaret Thatcher)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largess from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship (Alexander Tyler)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap (Ronald Reagan)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I made a doody.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

No one’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session (Unknown)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Government is like fire…a dangerous master. (George Washington)

 
 

We were in negotiations. I had my game face on.

Play hardball!

 
 

History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap (Ronald Reagan)

Grenada explained.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

government, even in its best stage, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one (Thomas Paine).

 
 

A conservative believes nothing should be done for the first time.
Thomas Fuller

 
 

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.
Frank Dane

 
 

#

Conservative Quotes said,

July 15, 2010 at 20:32

I made a doody.

I’m ashamed at how funny I found this.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

The graduated tax is a confiscatory tax…. Many of the leading proponents of the graduated tax admit that their purpose is to redistribute the nation’s wealth…an objective that does violence both to the charter of the Republic and the laws of nature. We are all equal in the eyes of God but we are equal in no other respect. Artificial devices for enforcing equality among unequal men must be rejected (Barry Goldwater)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

My favorite food is earwax.

 
 

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
Elbert Hubbard

 
 

A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits.
Woodrow Wilson

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I should sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University (William Buckley).

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I think they’re in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency. (Dick Cheney)

 
 

A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that “ancient institution” the old one.
Douglas Jerrold

 
 

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

 
 

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl

 
 

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they’re dead.
Leo Rosten

 
Conservative Quotes
 

No nation in history has ever survived a tax burden that reached a third of its national income.(Ronald Reagan)

 
 

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.
Woodrow Wilson

 
 

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth.
Jacques Barzun

 
Conservative Quotes
 

We know where [Saddam’s WMDs] are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat. (Donald Rumsfeld)

 
 

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.
John Stuart Mill

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Rarely do we ask ourselves the question: is our children learning? (George W. Bush)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I like to decorate with used Kleenexes.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I am not a crook. (Richard Nixon)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Prosperity is just around the corner. (Herbert Hoover)

 
 

Didn’t we have a 90% tax rate at one time? Is America not still here? Are we just living in the Matrix? Fuck, I’m scared.

 
 

Come, come, my conservative friend, wipe the dew off your spectacles, and see that the world is moving.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Douglas Feith is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. (Gen. Tommy Franks)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

The WMDs you know, they could be hiding on some uh, turkey farm. (George W. Bush)

 
 

Even as someone who’s labeled a conservative – I’m a Republican I’m black, I’m heading up this organization in the Reagan administration – I can say that conservatives don’t exactly break their necks to tell blacks that they’re welcome.
Clarence Thomas

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I like to smell my own farts.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I’ll burn the goddamn house down, but blow me first. (Mel Gibson)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I’ve got more rhymes than I’ve got grey hairs, and that’s a lot because I’ve got my share. (Mike D)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I was hiking the Appalachian Trail, on my own. (Gov. Mark Sanford)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

FUCK IT!! We’ll do it live! (Bill O’Reilly)

 
 

I understand why people do vote on the conservative side of the ticket because people have a tendency to go for strong governments when really, from an idealistic point of view, it’s a bad thing.
David Lloyd

 
Conservative Quotes
 

A peeance, freeance, secure Iraq in the midst of the Middle East will have enormous historical impact (Winston Churchill)

 
 

Spoof Conservative Quotes is winning the whole Intertubes today. I am LITERALLY laughing out loud.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Did you spank it this weekend yourself? (Mark Foley)

 
 

A peeance, freeance, secure Iraq in the midst of the Middle East will have enormous historical impact (Winston Churchill George Dumbya Bush)

Fixed for historical Truth

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I wasn’t potty trained until I was 13.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

[Nazi soldiers] were victims, just as surely as the victims in the concentration camps. (Ronald Reagan)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Even my mother hates me.

 
 

We were attacked on 9/11 and conservatives gave us a rainbow
Actor212

 
 

Grey semen-stained tightie whities don’t count.

Now you tell me. Shit.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I like to masturbate to “Ben.”

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I just have a wide stance! (Larry Craig)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I am banned from all Chuck E. Cheeses in Tennessee.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Now you tell me. Shit.

In case you weren’t aware, burping in the interviewer’s face is not an effective way of convincing him/her that you’re qualified for the job, either.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I want someone cute, uh, he has to be tan, well-hung (Rep. Ed Schrock, R-VA)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I still use WebTV.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever. (George Wallace)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

In case you weren’t aware, burping in the interviewer’s face is not an effective way of convincing him/her that you’re qualified for the job, either.

What about farting?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What about farting?

Depends on the job description.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I like to buy knives from the Home Shopping Network.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

By, fuckers

 
 

We are all equal in the eyes of God but we are equal in no other respect.

And this is the argument FOR a flat tax? Genius.

 
Conservatives Quotes
 

FREE TERRI SCHIAVO!!!!

 
Conservative Quotes
 

If our buildings, our highways, and our railroads should be wrecked, we could rebuild them. If our cities should be destroyed, out of the very ruins we could erect newer and greater ones. Even if our armed might should be crushed, we could rear sons who would redeem our power. But if the blood of our White race should become corrupted and mingled with the blood of Africa, then the present greatness of the United States of America would be destroyed and all hope for civilization would be as impossible for a Negroid America as would be redemption and restoration of the Whiteman’s blood which had been mixed with that of the Negro. (Sen. Theodore Bilbo)

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The joyfulness is over. (Dr. Janosz Poha)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Defecits don’t matter. (Dick Cheney)

 
 

I really really like this comeuppance.

I was just watching that at Wonkette. Love the 2,000 pennies.

 
Conservatives Quotes
 

NUKE IT!!!

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I broke all my ex-wife’s Precious Moments figurines.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN

 
Conservative Quotes
 

I broke all my ex-wife’s Precious Moments figurines by stuffing them up my ass.

 
 

In case you weren’t aware, burping in the interviewer’s face is not an effective way of convincing him/her that you’re qualified for the job, either.

What about farting?

Farting in the interviewers face is difficult unless you’re interviewing at the circus.

 
Conservatives Quotes
 

Barf! (Rush Limbaugh’s wife)

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Cheeto dust is the sweat and blood of American Conservatism

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Hey! I think destroying Precious Moments figurines is one of the few points of bipartisan agreement.

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 1
 

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you and good evening. The sponsor has been identified, but unlike most television programs, the performer hasn’t been provided with a script. As a matter of fact, I have been permitted to choose my own words and discuss my own ideas regarding the choice that we face in the next few weeks.

I have spent most of my life as a Democrat. I recently have seen fit to follow another course. I believe that the issues confronting us cross party lines. Now, one side in this campaign has been telling us that the issues of this election are the maintenance of peace and prosperity. The line has been used, “We’ve never had it so good.”

But I have an uncomfortable feeling that this prosperity isn’t something on which we can base our hopes for the future. No nation in history has ever survived a tax burden that reached a third of its national income. Today, 37 cents out of every dollar earned in this country is the tax collector’s share, and yet our government continues to spend 17 million dollars a day more than the government takes in. We haven’t balanced our budget 28 out of the last 34 years. We’ve raised our debt limit three times in the last twelve months, and now our national debt is one and a half times bigger than all the combined debts of all the nations of the world. We have 15 billion dollars in gold in our treasury; we don’t own an ounce. Foreign dollar claims are 27.3 billion dollars. And we’ve just had announced that the dollar of 1939 will now purchase 45 cents in its total value.

As for the peace that we would preserve, I wonder who among us would like to approach the wife or mother whose husband or son has died in South Vietnam and ask them if they think this is a peace that should be maintained indefinitely. Do they mean peace, or do they mean we just want to be left in peace? There can be no real peace while one American is dying some place in the world for the rest of us. We’re at war with the most dangerous enemy that has ever faced mankind in his long climb from the swamp to the stars, and it’s been said if we lose that war, and in so doing lose this way of freedom of ours, history will record with the greatest astonishment that those who had the most to lose did the least to prevent its happening. Well I think it’s time we ask ourselves if we still know the freedoms that were intended for us by the Founding Fathers.

 
 

Farting in the interviewers face is difficult unless you’re interviewing at the circus.

Sounds as if you have experience with this. Weird.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

“The central question… is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes…. William F. Buckley

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 2
 

Not too long ago, two friends of mine were talking to a Cuban refugee, a businessman who had escaped from Castro, and in the midst of his story one of my friends turned to the other and said, “We don’t know how lucky we are.” And the Cuban stopped and said, “How lucky you are? I had someplace to escape to.” And in that sentence he told us the entire story. If we lose freedom here, there’s no place to escape to. This is the last stand on earth.

And this idea that government is beholden to the people, that it has no other source of power except the sovereign people, is still the newest and the most unique idea in all the long history of man’s relation to man.

This is the issue of this election: Whether we believe in our capacity for self-government or whether we abandon the American revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capitol can plan our lives for us better than we can plan them ourselves.

You and I are told increasingly we have to choose between a left or right. Well I’d like to suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There’s only an up or down—[up] man’s old—old-aged dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order, or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. And regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.

In this vote-harvesting time, they use terms like the “Great Society,” or as we were told a few days ago by the President, we must accept a greater government activity in the affairs of the people. But they’ve been a little more explicit in the past and among themselves; and all of the things I now will quote have appeared in print. These are not Republican accusations. For example, they have voices that say, “The cold war will end through our acceptance of a not undemocratic socialism.” Another voice says, “The profit motive has become outmoded. It must be replaced by the incentives of the welfare state.” Or, “Our traditional system of individual freedom is incapable of solving the complex problems of the 20th century.” Senator Fullbright has said at Stanford University that the Constitution is outmoded. He referred to the President as “our moral teacher and our leader,” and he says he is “hobbled in his task by the restrictions of power imposed on him by this antiquated document.” He must “be freed,” so that he “can do for us” what he knows “is best.” And Senator Clark of Pennsylvania, another articulate spokesman, defines liberalism as “meeting the material needs of the masses through the full power of centralized government.”

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 3
 

Well, I, for one, resent it when a representative of the people refers to you and me, the free men and women of this country, as “the masses.” This is a term we haven’t applied to ourselves in America. But beyond that, “the full power of centralized government”—this was the very thing the Founding Fathers sought to minimize. They knew that governments don’t control things. A government can’t control the economy without controlling people. And they know when a government sets out to do that, it must use force and coercion to achieve its purpose. They also knew, those Founding Fathers, that outside of its legitimate functions, government does nothing as well or as economically as the private sector of the economy.

Now, we have no better example of this than government’s involvement in the farm economy over the last 30 years. Since 1955, the cost of this program has nearly doubled. One-fourth of farming in America is responsible for 85 percent of the farm surplus. Three-fourths of farming is out on the free market and has known a 21 percent increase in the per capita consumption of all its produce. You see, that one-fourth of farming—that’s regulated and controlled by the federal government. In the last three years we’ve spent 43 dollars in the feed grain program for every dollar bushel of corn we don’t grow.

Senator Humphrey last week charged that Barry Goldwater, as President, would seek to eliminate farmers. He should do his homework a little better, because he’ll find out that we’ve had a decline of 5 million in the farm population under these government programs. He’ll also find that the Democratic administration has sought to get from Congress [an] extension of the farm program to include that three-fourths that is now free. He’ll find that they’ve also asked for the right to imprison farmers who wouldn’t keep books as prescribed by the federal government. The Secretary of Agriculture asked for the right to seize farms through condemnation and resell them to other individuals. And contained in that same program was a provision that would have allowed the federal government to remove 2 million farmers from the soil.

At the same time, there’s been an increase in the Department of Agriculture employees. There’s now one for every 30 farms in the United States, and still they can’t tell us how 66 shiploads of grain headed for Austria disappeared without a trace and Billie Sol Estes never left shore.

Every responsible farmer and farm organization has repeatedly asked the government to free the farm economy, but how—who are farmers to know what’s best for them? The wheat farmers voted against a wheat program. The government passed it anyway. Now the price of bread goes up; the price of wheat to the farmer goes down.

Meanwhile, back in the city, under urban renewal the assault on freedom carries on. Private property rights [are] so diluted that public interest is almost anything a few government planners decide it should be. In a program that takes from the needy and gives to the greedy, we see such spectacles as in Cleveland, Ohio, a million-and-a-half-dollar building completed only three years ago must be destroyed to make way for what government officials call a “more compatible use of the land.” The President tells us he’s now going to start building public housing units in the thousands, where heretofore we’ve only built them in the hundreds. But FHA [Federal Housing Authority] and the Veterans Administration tell us they have 120,000 housing units they’ve taken back through mortgage foreclosure. For three decades, we’ve sought to solve the problems of unemployment through government planning, and the more the plans fail, the more the planners plan. The latest is the Area Redevelopment Agency.

They’ve just declared Rice County, Kansas, a depressed area. Rice County, Kansas, has two hundred oil wells, and the 14,000 people there have over 30 million dollars on deposit in personal savings in their banks. And when the government tells you you’re depressed, lie down and be depressed.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Willfully ignorant mouthbreathers who can’t even speak their native language fluently shouldn’t annoy their intellectual betters (S. Hayek)

 
 

history will record with the greatest astonishment that those who had the most to lose did the least to prevent its happening.

Conservatives!

 
 

Someday soon you’re going to be saying “Madame President”.

So Hillary in 2016 then.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice. (Adolf Hitler)

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 4
 

We have so many people who can’t see a fat man standing beside a thin one without coming to the conclusion the fat man got that way by taking advantage of the thin one. So they’re going to solve all the problems of human misery through government and government planning. Well, now, if government planning and welfare had the answer—and they’ve had almost 30 years of it—shouldn’t we expect government to read the score to us once in a while? Shouldn’t they be telling us about the decline each year in the number of people needing help? The reduction in the need for public housing?

But the reverse is true. Each year the need grows greater; the program grows greater. We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry each night. Well that was probably true. They were all on a diet. But now we’re told that 9.3 million families in this country are poverty-stricken on the basis of earning less than 3,000 dollars a year. Welfare spending [is] 10 times greater than in the dark depths of the Depression. We’re spending 45 billion dollars on welfare. Now do a little arithmetic, and you’ll find that if we divided the 45 billion dollars up equally among those 9 million poor families, we’d be able to give each family 4,600 dollars a year. And this added to their present income should eliminate poverty. Direct aid to the poor, however, is only running only about 600 dollars per family. It would seem that someplace there must be some overhead.

Now—so now we declare “war on poverty,” or “You, too, can be a Bobby Baker.” Now do they honestly expect us to believe that if we add 1 billion dollars to the 45 billion we’re spending, one more program to the 30-odd we have—and remember, this new program doesn’t replace any, it just duplicates existing programs—do they believe that poverty is suddenly going to disappear by magic? Well, in all fairness I should explain there is one part of the new program that isn’t duplicated. This is the youth feature. We’re now going to solve the dropout problem, juvenile delinquency, by reinstituting something like the old CCC camps [Civilian Conservation Corps], and we’re going to put our young people in these camps. But again we do some arithmetic, and we find that we’re going to spend each year just on room and board for each young person we help 4,700 dollars a year. We can send them to Harvard for 2,700! Course, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting Harvard is the answer to juvenile delinquency.

But seriously, what are we doing to those we seek to help? Not too long ago, a judge called me here in Los Angeles. He told me of a young woman who’d come before him for a divorce. She had six children, was pregnant with her seventh. Under his questioning, she revealed her husband was a laborer earning 250 dollars a month. She wanted a divorce to get an 80 dollar raise. She’s eligible for 330 dollars a month in the Aid to Dependent Children Program. She got the idea from two women in her neighborhood who’d already done that very thing.

Yet anytime you and I question the schemes of the do-gooders, we’re denounced as being against their humanitarian goals. They say we’re always “against” things—we’re never “for” anything.

Well, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 5
 

In addition, was Barry Goldwater so irresponsible when he suggested that our government give up its program of deliberate, planned inflation, so that when you do get your Social Security pension, a dollar will buy a dollar’s worth, and not 45 cents worth?

I think we’re for an international organization, where the nations of the world can seek peace. But I think we’re against subordinating American interests to an organization that has become so structurally unsound that today you can muster a two-thirds vote on the floor of the General Assembly among nations that represent less than 10 percent of the world’s population. I think we’re against the hypocrisy of assailing our allies because here and there they cling to a colony, while we engage in a conspiracy of silence and never open our mouths about the millions of people enslaved in the Soviet colonies in the satellite nations.

I think we’re for aiding our allies by sharing of our material blessings with those nations which share in our fundamental beliefs, but we’re against doling out money government to government, creating bureaucracy, if not socialism, all over the world. We set out to help 19 countries. We’re helping 107. We’ve spent 146 billion dollars. With that money, we bought a 2 million dollar yacht for Haile Selassie. We bought dress suits for Greek undertakers, extra wives for Kenya[n] government officials. We bought a thousand TV sets for a place where they have no electricity. In the last six years, 52 nations have bought 7 billion dollars worth of our gold, and all 52 are receiving foreign aid from this country.

No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. So governments’ programs, once launched, never disappear.

Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth.

Federal employees—federal employees number two and a half million; and federal, state, and local, one out of six of the nation’s work force employed by government. These proliferating bureaus with their thousands of regulations have cost us many of our constitutional safeguards. How many of us realize that today federal agents can invade a man’s property without a warrant? They can impose a fine without a formal hearing, let alone a trial by jury? And they can seize and sell his property at auction to enforce the payment of that fine. In Chico County, Arkansas, James Wier over-planted his rice allotment. The government obtained a 17,000 dollar judgment. And a U.S. marshal sold his 960-acre farm at auction. The government said it was necessary as a warning to others to make the system work.

Last February 19th at the University of Minnesota, Norman Thomas, six-times candidate for President on the Socialist Party ticket, said, “If Barry Goldwater became President, he would stop the advance of socialism in the United States.” I think that’s exactly what he will do.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

He told me of a young woman who’d come before him for a divorce. She had six children, was pregnant with her seventh. Under his questioning, she revealed her husband was a laborer earning 250 dollars a month. She wanted a divorce to get an 80 dollar raise. She’s eligible for 330 dollars a month in the Aid to Dependent Children Program. She got the idea from two women in her neighborhood who’d already done that very thing.

Yeah, but the important question is: was she black?

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 6
 

But as a former Democrat, I can tell you Norman Thomas isn’t the only man who has drawn this parallel to socialism with the present administration, because back in 1936, Mr. Democrat himself, Al Smith, the great American, came before the American people and charged that the leadership of his Party was taking the Party of Jefferson, Jackson, and Cleveland down the road under the banners of Marx, Lenin, and Stalin. And he walked away from his Party, and he never returned til the day he died—because to this day, the leadership of that Party has been taking that Party, that honorable Party, down the road in the image of the labor Socialist Party of England.

Now it doesn’t require expropriation or confiscation of private property or business to impose socialism on a people. What does it mean whether you hold the deed to the—or the title to your business or property if the government holds the power of life and death over that business or property? And such machinery already exists. The government can find some charge to bring against any concern it chooses to prosecute. Every businessman has his own tale of harassment. Somewhere a perversion has taken place. Our natural, unalienable rights are now considered to be a dispensation of government, and freedom has never been so fragile, so close to slipping from our grasp as it is at this moment.

Our Democratic opponents seem unwilling to debate these issues. They want to make you and I believe that this is a contest between two men—that we’re to choose just between two personalities.

Well what of this man that they would destroy—and in destroying, they would destroy that which he represents, the ideas that you and I hold dear? Is he the brash and shallow and trigger-happy man they say he is? Well I’ve been privileged to know him “when.” I knew him long before he ever dreamed of trying for high office, and I can tell you personally I’ve never known a man in my life I believed so incapable of doing a dishonest or dishonorable thing.

This is a man who, in his own business before he entered politics, instituted a profit-sharing plan before unions had ever thought of it. He put in health and medical insurance for all his employees. He took 50 percent of the profits before taxes and set up a retirement program, a pension plan for all his employees. He sent monthly checks for life to an employee who was ill and couldn’t work. He provides nursing care for the children of mothers who work in the stores. When Mexico was ravaged by the floods in the Rio Grande, he climbed in his airplane and flew medicine and supplies down there.

An ex-GI told me how he met him. It was the week before Christmas during the Korean War, and he was at the Los Angeles airport trying to get a ride home to Arizona for Christmas. And he said that [there were] a lot of servicemen there and no seats available on the planes. And then a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, “Any men in uniform wanting a ride to Arizona, go to runway such-and-such,” and they went down there, and there was a fellow named Barry Goldwater sitting in his plane. Every day in those weeks before Christmas, all day long, he’d load up the plane, fly it to Arizona, fly them to their homes, fly back over to get another load.

 
 

PENIS! (on Fox no less)

 
 

Copypasting longer quotes will somehow make you right.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice. (Adolf Hitler)

 
 

Sounds as if you have experience with this. Weird.

Dancing bears have a long and distinguished history.

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Pt. 7
 

During the hectic split-second timing of a campaign, this is a man who took time out to sit beside an old friend who was dying of cancer. His campaign managers were understandably impatient, but he said, “There aren’t many left who care what happens to her. I’d like her to know I care.” This is a man who said to his 19-year-old son, “There is no foundation like the rock of honesty and fairness, and when you begin to build your life on that rock, with the cement of the faith in God that you have, then you have a real start.” This is not a man who could carelessly send other people’s sons to war. And that is the issue of this campaign that makes all the other problems I’ve discussed academic, unless we realize we’re in a war that must be won.

Those who would trade our freedom for the soup kitchen of the welfare state have told us they have a utopian solution of peace without victory. They call their policy “accommodation.” And they say if we’ll only avoid any direct confrontation with the enemy, he’ll forget his evil ways and learn to love us. All who oppose them are indicted as warmongers. They say we offer simple answers to complex problems. Well, perhaps there is a simple answer—not an easy answer—but simple: If you and I have the courage to tell our elected officials that we want our national policy based on what we know in our hearts is morally right.

We cannot buy our security, our freedom from the threat of the bomb by committing an immorality so great as saying to a billion human beings now enslaved behind the Iron Curtain, “Give up your dreams of freedom because to save our own skins, we’re willing to make a deal with your slave masters.” Alexander Hamilton said, “A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one.” Now let’s set the record straight. There’s no argument over the choice between peace and war, but there’s only one guaranteed way you can have peace—and you can have it in the next second—surrender.

Admittedly, there’s a risk in any course we follow other than this, but every lesson of history tells us that the greater risk lies in appeasement, and this is the specter our well-meaning liberal friends refuse to face—that their policy of accommodation is appeasement, and it gives no choice between peace and war, only between fight or surrender. If we continue to accommodate, continue to back and retreat, eventually we have to face the final demand—the ultimatum. And what then—when Nikita Khrushchev has told his people he knows what our answer will be? He has told them that we’re retreating under the pressure of the Cold War, and someday when the time comes to deliver the final ultimatum, our surrender will be voluntary, because by that time we will have been weakened from within spiritually, morally, and economically. He believes this because from our side he’s heard voices pleading for “peace at any price” or “better Red than dead,” or as one commentator put it, he’d rather “live on his knees than die on his feet.” And therein lies the road to war, because those voices don’t speak for the rest of us.

 
 

JESUS FUCK GET YOUR OWN GODDAMN BLOG. Asshole.

 
Conservative Quotes
 

If the facts are on your side, pound the facts. If the law is on your side, pound the law. If neither the law nor facts are on your side, pound the Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V keys. (Official Field Manual of the 101st Chairborne Division)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

PENIS! (on Fox no less)

“we’re woefully ‘ill-cliterate,'”

I’m just woefully ill now.

 
 

Dancing bears have a long and distinguished history.

You farted in a bear’s face? Brave man.

 
 

I was enjoying this thread ’til the spamming started. The Great Quote War of 2010 was freakin’ hilarious, but if this douche is going to keep spamming with paragraphs of crap, my ladyboner’s gonna go down so fast.

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Final
 

You and I have the courage to say to our enemies, “There is a price we will not pay.” “There is a point beyond which they must not advance.” And this—this is the meaning in the phrase of Barry Goldwater’s “peace through strength.” Winston Churchill said, “The destiny of man is not measured by material computations. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we’re spirits—not animals.” And he said, “There’s something going on in time and space, and beyond time and space, which, whether we like it or not, spells duty.”

 
 

You farted in a bear’s face? Brave man.

Perfectly safe as long as it’s not 12 hours after you ate meat, fish, berries, or beer.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You farted in a bear’s face? Brave man.

Better than the bear farting in his face, I would guess.

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Final
 

EVERY liberal should read that whole speech, you’ll become a convinced conservative if you’re patriotic:

http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/reference/timechoosing.html

I notice you can’t refute any of his facts!

 
 

I was enjoying this thread ’til the spamming started. The Great Quote War of 2010 was freakin’ hilarious, but if this douche is going to keep spamming with paragraphs of crap, my ladyboner’s gonna go down so fast.

On whom?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sometimes you fart at the bar and sometimes the bar farts at you…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Perfectly safe as long as it’s not 12 hours after you ate meat, fish, berries, or beer.

Do babies count as meat?

 
 

You and I have the courage to say to our enemies, “There is a price we will not pay.”

Yes, and in your case, it’s enlisting and standing up for your flag, your country and your momma.

Which is expected, since your momma won’t ever get off her back herself.

 
 

I was enjoying this thread ’til the spamming started. The Great Quote War of 2010 was freakin’ hilarious, but if this douche is going to keep spamming with paragraphs of crap, my ladyboner’s gonna go down so fast.

On whom?

EVERYBODY!

 
 

Better than the bear farting in his face, I would guess.

There’s an app for that.

 
 

EVERY liberal should read that whole speech, you’ll become a convinced conservative if you’re patriotic retarded

Fixed for Palinesqueness!

 
A TIME FOR CHOOSING, Final
 

Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?

Wait. Is this a trick question? Isn’t the government composed of people?

 
 

Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?

Unlike your side of the fence, Troof, we elect people smarter than we are, so I trust my elected officials to use their best judgement.

 
 

EVERY liberal should read that whole speech, you’ll become a convinced conservative if you’re retarded

Hey!

 
 

Isn’t the government composed of people?

People, lizards wearing human-skin faces, a few robots (ineffectual, since most are running Win 95), clones of the maximum leader’s nose, and Dick Cheney.

 
 

Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?

Except where pregnant women are concerned…

 
 

Am I not a human?

 
 

Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?

Awesome! You must be pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. Wouldn’t want government interfering in such issues.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Except where pregnant women are concerned…

Silly Kong! Women aren’t people!

 
 

lizards wearing human-skin faces

Careful! Eric Cantor hassssssssss spiesssssssssssss everywhere.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Unborn Child said,
July 15, 2010 at 21:13

Am I not a human?

Because fetuses can totes make their own decisions.

 
 

Because fetuses can totes make their own decisions.

They swim in their own pee, just like conservatives.

 
 

Am I not a human?
no. next question?

 
 

We need to get the government back to its core purpose of regulating everybody’s sex life and promoting evangelical Christianity.

 
 

We need to get the government back to its core purpose of regulating everybody’s sex life and promoting evangelical Christianity

And gatekeeping for corporations.

 
 

We need to get the government back to its core purpose of regulating everybody’s sex life and promoting evangelical Christianity.

And those whom we expel for insufficient religiosity can go live in heathen Rhode Island. Let’s rock it like it’s 1675!

 
 

Wow. Mitt Romney’s PAC took in $1.8 million last quarter…which was a MILLION MORE than SarahPAC!

 
 

Unlike your side of the fence, Troof, we elect people smarter than we are, so I trust my elected officials to use their best judgement.

Doofus also always votes for people smarter than he is.

Am I not a human?

If hope every time you order chicken you are served eggs. As long as they were fertilized, you’ve got no call to complain, right?

 
 

Let’s rock it like it’s 1675!

That was the song by Prince! George III, right?

 
 

Doofus also always votes for people smarter than he is.

Y’know, not so much. He THINKS they are…

 
 

Well, now that the Great Quote War of 2010 is over, can the the Spoof Convservatard Quoters reveal themselves? That was fucking FUNNEH. I suspect Sub was one of ’em…who else?

 
 

And those whom we expel for insufficient religiosity can go live in heathen Rhode Island. Let’s rock it like it’s 1675!

We’re going to need a bigger Rhode Island.

 
 

I suspect Sub was one of ‘em…who else?

I got a quarter on tsam.

 
 

Am I not fantastical?

 
 

We’re going to need a bigger Rhode Island.

But I don’t wanna live in an oxymoron*.

*Don;t you dare think of Trig.

 
 

“Do you trust people to make their own decisions, or do you think the government knows better than the people?”

Could you just once give a real-life example of what you think you are talking about to demonstrate this platitude? Of course you won’t. That’s why we love you.

 
 

Y’know, not so much. He THINKS they are…

You think Palin and Bachmann are dumber than he is? Because dumb as they are I’ll need to see some evidence that he’s not dumber.

 
 

HOLY FUCK this thread suddenly got boring.

Hey Toofless, please pull your head out of your own ass long enough to realize Reagan was a phony. Phony patriot, phony warrior, phony conservative.

Try these:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=reagan+lebanon
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=%22iran+contra%22
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=reagan+amnesty
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=reagan+tax+increases

Educate yourself about your hero you useless bag of flesh.

 
 

Duhhhhhhhhhhh, mooo?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I did most of (I think) the unattributed ones, except the one about Chuck E. Cheese, which was HILARIOUS, and original Precious Moments post. I’m sure I’m missing a couple that weren’t mine.

 
 

Unicorn Child said,

July 15, 2010 at 21:22 (kill)

Am I not fantastical?

BACK IN THE VAN, YOU.

 
 

You think Palin and Bachmann are dumber than he is? Because dumb as they are I’ll need to see some evidence that he’s not dumber.

Admittedly it’s a race to the bottom.

 
Ear of Corn Child
 

Am I not vegetable?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

BACK IN THE VAN, YOU.

Is he made of candy???

 
 

Could you just once give a real-life example of what you think you are talking about to demonstrate this platitude?

Should the “experts” who “work” for the “government” “decide” what is “safe” operation of a nuclear power plant, or should the common man decide.

 
 

Are we not men?

 
 

Should the “experts” who “work” for the “government” “decide” what is “safe” operation of a nuclear power plant

But they’re so small! How much harm could they cause????

 
 

OK, so T&U and me…and Sub (I’m sure).

 
 

The thing about a democratic form of government is that it requires a certain amount of work and responsibility from the people. The bigger the government, the more work and responsibility. So it is no real surprise that the lazy and the selfish among the population would scream for smaller government. It is far easier than putting forth the effort and taking on the responsibility of electing and maintaining an effective functional government.

 
 

#

Ear of Corn Child said,

July 15, 2010 at 21:26

Am I not vegetable?

ROFL!

 
 

“Should the “experts” who “work” for the “government” “decide” what is “safe” operation of a nuclear power plant, or should the common man decide.”

And even though I am not a fireman (damned government official) I will decide what to do about that fire!

 
 

Am I not sugar?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Am I not sugar?

Nah, dude. You’re totally corn syrup.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

This describes Tw00fie to a “T”.

 
 

Am I not shitting in the woods?

 
 

Am I not Catholic?

 
 

And the Defense Department!!! Why should they get to fight all the wars?

 
 

Am I not a diet staple of people like Troofie?

 
 

I am I not mecha and Godzilla?

 
 

Am I not Scandinavian?

 
 

Am I not sugar?

If you lick me, do I not decrease?

Hath not candy sticks to hold?

 
 

We need to get the government back to its core purpose of regulating everybody’s sex life and promoting evangelical Christianity.

Jesus says it’s about time to start another war–the Iraq one is winding down. Little help, government?

 
 

In fact, why should the Congress have jobs at all? All of us should pass whatever laws we want!

I’m passing a law right now, as we speak!

 
 

Am I not Cheeto stained and pathetic?

 
 

Am I not Scandinavian?

So long as you’re not unBjorn.

 
 

I’m passing a law right now, as we speak!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You know what I want? A stoplight. Why does the government hog all of them???

 
An Unbjorn Child
 

I am not Scandinavian!

 
 

If you lick me, do I not decrease?

Whoa. I thought when licking ensued most guys, um, increased.

 
 

FYWP
What I was going to type was:
I’m passing a law right now, as we speak!
Are you blogging from the Men’s room again?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

POOP.

 
 

I’m passing a law right now, as we speak!

Take a picture!

 
 

If you lick me, do I not decrease?

Hath not candy sticks to hold?

When I’m licked, I increase. I hath candy stick to hold.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m passing a law right now, as we speak!

TMI, dude.

 
 

Stop it!!!!! You guys are killing me!!!!!

 
 

Whoa. I thought when licking ensued most guys, um, increased.

HEY HEY HEY–slow it down, there, missy.

 
 

This is a man who said to his 19-year-old son, “There is no foundation like the rock of honesty and fairness…

First he had to recognize him, Ronnie.

 
 

Are you blogging from the Men’s room again?

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the flushing.

I mean, debate.

 
 

Am I not clay pigment?

 
 

HEY HEY HEY–slow it down, there, missy.

Sorry. Got ahead of myself.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Stop it!!!!! You guys are killing me!!!!!

Dude, I’m pretty sure that’s just the weight of your gigantic head causing you to asphyxiate.

 
An Unborne Child
 

Am I not still here?

 
Some Porn Child
 

Am I not erotic?

 
 

Did I not survive District 9?

 
Conservative Meltdowns
 

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

What I learned from COPS:

… is that a cameraman running backwards with a large shoulder-mounted camera can usually keep pace with a wide range of police officers during a foot chase.

 
 

Comment from T&U’s POOP link:

Sometimes when I at at the bathroom at work I have an overwhelming desire to pick the stall next to the pooper and whisper “I know what you’re doing in there. You’re disgusting” and leave. I don’t know why I want to do this. I kind of think it would be funny in a messed up way. But there’s a part of me that realizes it could be the CEO so I don’

Hizzilarious! It has a counselor’s couch tone to it that makes it numbingly funny.

 
 

Wow! Who dropped a litter on the blog?

 
Unbourne Identity
 

Am I not forgetful badass?

 
 

Sometimes when I at at the bathroom at work I have an overwhelming desire to pick the stall next to the pooper and whisper “I know what you’re doing in there.

Arnold Alkon? She comments at YouTube?

 
An Osborrne Child
 

Am I not Kelly

 
 

#

Some Prawn Child said,

July 15, 2010 at 21:42

Did I not survive District 9?

FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Am I not assimilated?

 
 

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!!

 
 

Am I not not hairy?

 
 

Am I not exchangeable for cash?

 
An Unblown Child
 

Am I not Mel Gibson?

 
 

Am I not high as fuck right now?

 
 

I hope someone put the cap back on the troll-gusher!

 
 

An Unblown Child said

Suffer the little children to come into me…

 
 

I hope someone put the cap back on the troll-gusher!

I blame Sadly,No! for hiring BP as troll-protection.

 
 

Am I not the star of Stephen King’s most boring short story?

 
Conservative Quotes
 

Any meal can be made more tasty with the addition of some of that delightful cilantro.(Adolf Hitler)

 
An Unblown Child
 

Am I not a Republican intern? Apparently not!

 
A Precocious Child
 

Who wants to see my wiener?

 
 

Am I not nominated?

 
 

I preferred Edward James Olmos as Adama.

 
 

Am I not a wearer of swan dresses?

 
 

You know who else likes cilantro? *GULP* Me.

 
 

Am I not pepper?

 
 

Am I not green and fake looking?

 
 

Q: Are we Not Men?
A: We are Devo

 
 

Am I not watching kittens frolic on Youtube?

 
A Precocious tSam
 

You know who else likes cilantro? *GULP* Me.

 
 

Am I not LaBeouf?

 
A Candy Corn Child
 

Am I not a tasty and underappreciated Halloween treat?

 
 

Am I not overloud and undertalented?

 
 

Olexicon said,
July 15, 2010 at 21:50

Ahem

 
 

Am I not a stupid Christmas gift?

 
Voodoo Chile (slight return)
 

I was standing next to a mountain
Chopped it down with the edge of my hand

 
 

Will I not laugh my ass off at this thread in 37 years?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I want a law forcing fuckin’ magnets to EXPLAIN HOW THEY WORK!!!

 
A Stillborn Child
 

Okay, that’s just over the line.

 
 

I think I may just have to get a t-shirt made up that reads “Unborn Shia” on the front and “Am I not LaBeuof?” on the back now.

 
 

Do you like my epaulets?

 
Unscorned Child
 

Am I not wanted?

 
 

#

A Stillborn Child said,

July 15, 2010 at 21:54

Okay, that’s just over the line.

But still fucking funny!

 
 

Am I not a tragically underutilzied monster from the old school Monster Manual?

 
A Lovelorn Child
 

Am I not a Smiths fan?

 
 

I want a law forcing fuckin’ magnets to EXPLAIN HOW THEY WORK!!!

OK, I’ll pass one, but I just flushed.

 
 

Are my arms not short?

 
 

Am I not Gomer?

I am?! SHA-ZAM!

 
 

Was I not a Yankee fan?

 
 

Are my arms not short?

Your arms too short to box with B^4.

 
 

D’oh! Nym fail.

 
 

Am I not a tragically underutilzied monster from the old school Monster Manual?

Bugbear?

 
 

Why don’t you carry me in one of those Baby Bjorns?

 
A Car Horn Child
 

Do I not awaken you at 3:30 in the morning?

 
 

Did Zevons not speak of me?

 
 

This song wins the internet today.
What if the Tea Party were Black?

 
 

Am I not tea?

 
A Dungeons and Dragorns Child
 

Am I not a tragically underutilzied monster from the old school Monster Manual?

Okay, that was funny.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Did Zevons not speak of me?

A herd of cattle
A school of fish
A warren of Zevons.

 
An Unburned Child
 

Am I not on Fire?

 
 

Perhaps reading too much wingnut has adversely affected my brain or perhaps it’s just naturally defective, but someone posted the components for this a while back and it just now occured to me to put them together.

 
An Unadorned Child
 

Am I no longer covered in regalia?

 
 

Fucking Bugbears!!

 
 

someone posted the components for this a while back and it just now occured to me to put them together.

Well played! I like that you can substitute in any website

 
 

oops

 
An Stillborn Child
 

Am I not conservative?

 
 

Fucking Bugbears!!
Yeah. Fuck those guys sideways.

 
 

Am I not lean and healthy?

 
 

A herd of cattle
A school of fish
A warren of Zevons.

Ha! I like that.

 
An Unshorn Child
 

Am I not hairy?

 
 

Wow. It’s a baby boom!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Actor, my co-worker was just complaining about how she couldn’t find her Post-Its. Did you have something to do with that? If so, thank you.

Oh, and she said that DC traffic is really bad–just like New York! I tried not to laugh aloud.

 
An Unexploded Child
 

Less talk of booms please.

 
 

Is my angel not a centerfold?

 
tsam's asshole button
 

Am I not pushed?

 
 

What if the Tea Party were Black?

Thousands of fat, hateful old white people just soiled themselves. AGAIN.

 
tsam's asshole button
 

Actor, my co-worker was just complaining about how she couldn’t find her Post-Its. Did you have something to do with that? If so, thank you.

Hmmm…is she wearing a dress that looks like 3 x 3 yellow squares?

 
 

the wall behind our couch just screams

You Write Like Stephen King

 
tsam's asshole button
 

Thousands of fat, hateful old white people just soiled themselves. AGAIN.

Oh no. Old people poop smells the worst. I can see the 4,336 fists shaking at the sky though, which is funny.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

<i.Hmmm…is she wearing a dress that looks like 3 x 3 yellow squares?

No. It wouldn’t surprise me if she were, though.

 
George M. Steinbrenner III
 

Was I not a Hitler fan?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I cannot make tags work today!

 
 

Actor, my co-worker was just complaining about how she couldn’t find her Post-Its. Did you have something to do with that?

Hey, my royalty checks are late, and I got friends, knowwhuImean?

 
William F. Buckley (The NAACP are the real racist also)
 

National Review editorial, 8/24/1957, 4:7, pp. 148-9: The most important event of the past three weeks was the remarkable and unexpected vote by the Senate to guarantee to defendants in a criminal contempt action the privilege of a jury trial. That vote does not necessarily affirm a citizen’s intrinsic rights: trial by jury in contempt actions, civil or criminal, is not an American birthright, and it cannot, therefore, be maintained that the Senate’s vote upheld, pure and simple, the Common Law.

What the Senate did was to leave undisturbed the mechanism that spans the abstractions by which a society is guided and the actual, sublunary requirements of the individual community. In that sense, the vote was a conservative victory. For the effect of it is–and let us speak about it bluntly–to permit a jury to modify or waive the law in such circumstances as, in the judgment of the jury, require so grave an interposition between the law and its violator.

What kind of circumstances do we speak about? Again, let us speak frankly. The South does not want to deprive the Negro of a vote for the sake of depriving him of the vote. Political scientists assert that minorities do not vote as a unit. Women do not vote as a bloc, they contend; nor do Jews, or Catholics, or laborers, or nudists–nor do Negroes; nor will the enfranchised Negroes of the South.

If that is true, the South will not hinder the Negro from voting–why should it, if the Negro vote, like the women’s, merely swells the volume, but does not affect the ratio, of the vote? In some parts of the South, the White community merely intends to prevail on any issue on which there is corporate disagreement between Negro and White. The White community will take whatever measures are necessary to make certain that it has its way.

What are the issues? Is school integration one? The NAACP and others insist that the Negroes as a unit want integrated schools. Others disagree, contending that most Negroes approve the social sepaation of the races. What if the NAACP is correct, and the matter comes to a vote in a community in which Negroes predominate? The Negroes would, according to democratic processes, win the election; but that is the kind of situation the White community will not permit. The White community will not count the marginal Negro vote. The man who didn’t count it will be hauled up before a jury, he will plead not guilty, and the jury, upon deliberation, will find him not guilty. A federal judge, in a similar situation, might find the defendant guilty, a judgment which would affirm the law and conform with the relevant political abstractions, but whose consequences might be violent and anarchistic.

The central question that emerges–and it is not a parliamentary question or a question that is answered by meerely consulting a catalog of the rights of American citizens, born Equal–is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes–the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced ace. It is not easy, and it is unpleasant, to adduce statistics evidencing the median cultural superiority of White over Negro: but it is fact that obtrudes, one that cannot be hidden by ever-so-busy egalitarians and anthropologists. The question, as far as the White community is concerned, is whether the claims of civilization supersede those of universal suffrage. The British believe they do, and acted accordingly, in Kenya, where the choice was dramatically one between civilization and barbarism, and elsewhere; the South, where the conflict is byno means dramatic, as in Kenya, nevertheless perceives important qualitative differences between its culture and the Negroes’, and intends to assert its own.

National Review believes that the South’s premises are correct. If the majority wills what is socially atavistic, then to thwart the majority may be, though undemocratic, enlightened. It is more important for any community, anywhere in the world, to affirm and live by civilized standards, than to bow to the demands of the numerical majority. Sometimes it becomes impossible to assert the will of a minority, in which case it must give way, and the society will regress; sometimes the numberical minority cannot prevail except by violence: then it must determine whether the prevalence of its will is worth the terrible price of violence.

The axiom on which many of the arguments supporting the original version of the Civil Rights bill were based was Universal Suffrage. Everyone in America is entitled to the vote, period. No right is prior to that, no obligation subordinate to it; from this premise all else proceeds.

That, of course, is demagogy. Twenty-year-olds do not generally have the vote, and it is not seriously argued that the difference between 20 and 21-year-olds is the difference between slavery and freedom. The residents of the District of Columbia do not vote: and the population of D.C. increases by geometric proportion. Millions who have the vote do not care to exercise it; millions who have it do not know how to exercise it and do not care to learn. The great majorit of the Negroes of the South who do not vote do not care to vote, and would not know for what to vote if they could. Overwhelming numbers of White people in the South do not vote. Universal suffrage is not the beginning of wisdom or the beginning of freedom. Reasonable limitations upon the vote are not exclusively the recommendations of tyrants or oligarchists (was Jefferson either?). The problem in the South is not how to get the vote for the Negro, but how to equip the Negro–and a great many Whites–to cast an enlightened and responsible vote.

The South confronts one grave moral challenge. It must not exploit the fact of Negro backwardness to preserve teh Negro as a servile class. It is tempting and convenient to block the progress of a minority whose services, as menials, are economically useful. Let the South never permit itself to do this. So long as it is merely asserting the right to impose superior mores for whatever period it takes to effect a genuine cultural equality between the races, and so long as it does so by humane and charitable means, the South is in step with civilization, as is the Congress that permits it to function.”

 
 

I cannot make tags work today!

Fortunately the Rupublicans in congress are cutting unemloyment benefits for tags that won’t work. Without that incentive they’ll be back to work in no time.

 
 

Without that incentive they’ll be back to work in no time.

Unless they go on

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fortunately the Rupublicans in congress are cutting unemloyment benefits for tags that won’t work. Without that incentive they’ll be back to work in no time.

Good. Always making baby tags, leeching off the system, fucking up the HTML…

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

It must not exploit the fact of Negro backwardness to preserve teh Negro as a servile class.

If it does it gets the hose again

 
 

fucking up the HTML…

HTML is theft!

 
 

Just one of the many beneficial side effects of the electro-magnetic flux generated by my vans battery array. And hell, it’s not even fully charged. – Sirius Lunacy

Where can I get a van like that?

 
 

Where can I get a van like that?

Just look in the phone book!

There’s….*adjusting reading glasses*….Van-o-Rama, Vans R Us…I always like the backwards “R”…Vanitorium, Van-ity, Van City, Van Nise, Van de Vendor…hm, must be Dutch…Van-o-leum, Van Hur, and I Vanna Be Alone

 
Conservative Quotes
 

And despite the economic upheaval and political acrimony that have marked his term thus far, voters aren’t pining for Obama’s predecessor; they tapped Obama over George W. Bush by a 53%-33% margin. Nor are they convinced that Sarah Palin is up to the challenges of the Oval Office. Obama clobbered Palin, 55%-34%, in a hypothetical 2012 matchup that should have Democrats salivating.

 
 

Oh look! Here’s the place you should try: VanTastic.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Fuckdamn! Nearly 600 comments. Can a brother get a tl;dr? Or shall I just assume 200 were about DKW’s moom, 147 or so were about actor’s etchings, and … hold on a sec… ctl-f… two PENISes (both actor’s, I note with mild amusement)

 
 

I would try some of those places that Actor mentioned before giving disadVANtaged a call.

 
 

Oh hey, I missed this one: VanDalism.

Sounds like they might go all surrealist with the designs, tho.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fuckdamn! Nearly 600 comments. Can a brother get a tl;dr? Or shall I just assume 200 were about DKW’s moom, 147 or so were about actor’s etchings, and … hold on a sec… ctl-f… two PENISes (both actor’s, I note with mild amusement)

I think we did make fun of conservatives at one point…and I complained about how I’m not going to be able to find a job, but that’s a given.

 
 

And breasts. We discussed breasts.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And breasts. We discussed breasts.

Yeah, but he doesn’t care about that. And it’s also a given.

 
 

Vanderbar does some good work but you got to be up front with them and tell them the 40’s German motif is not acceptable, or they will try to go all Luftwaffe on your project.

 
 

Actor hath uses charms to soothe the savage breast.

 
 

Actor hath uses charms to soothe the savage breast.
Lucky charms? how does that work?
no, really, I’m taking notes.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

VanDamme is good, too, as long as you don’t mind their dumb martial arts moves.

 
 

Lucky charms? how does that work?

Look, for the last time, the court documents are sealed, and if you really want to know, you’ll have to email me off list so I can use a remailer to get them to you.

 
 

VanDerbuilt is a little too pricey for my blood.

 
 

Am I not . . . aw, shit, I’m late to the party.

 
 

Van-opticon does some really impressive mural work

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If you like minimally adorned, square vans, I suggest you go with van der Rohe.

 
 

If you want a fully electric van like I have, there’s only one place to go…
Van deGraff

 
 

Cosy Van Tooty has some really nice horns.

 
 

If you want a fully electric van like I have, there’s only one place to go…
Van deGraff

Sir,

I…I…I am in awe. You have my advantage.

 
 

What about me! You kill one missing white girl and everyone won’t stop talking about you. Kill one fucking Peruana bitch and everyone forgets about you. CNN are the real racists.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If you want a fully electric van like I have, there’s only one place to go…
Van deGraff

DAMMIT. So obvious, yet so brilliant.

 
 

Also, too, I can’t believe y’all missed the biggest sticker on B^4’s PerVan’s bumper:

“If this van’s a-rockin’, don’t bother knockin'”

 
 

Read my blog. Tickets still available.

 
 

If this van’s a jigglin’, don’t bother gigglin’.

 
 

If you want a really amped up electric van then you go to Van Halen

 
 

If this blogs a rollin’ don’t bother trollin’

 
 

Sirius is just knocking them out of the park today.

 
 

Sadly appropriate music interlude.

 
 

Sadly on topic. Does anyone remember this song by Sammy Johns? I loved this song when I was about 8. Did not yet know it was about fucking.

 
 

Moron will insert link here:

 
 

Agreed. About Sirius, that is.

 
An Unkerned Child
 

Am I not authentic?

 
 

I just made some hummus. OhEmGee it is goooood.

That and grilled pita, tomatoes and scallions is dinner. Vegetarian, bitchez!

 
 

Sadly on topic. Does anyone remember this song by Sammy Johns?

That song sold a lot of Chevy vans as well as lot of shag carpetting.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

That and grilled pita, tomatoes and scallions is dinner. Vegetarian, bitchez!

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

Yummy. And his mommy’s milk made and pressed into tasty cheese cubes.

 
An UnTorn Child
 

Will I not be all out of faith?

 
 

Van Morrison specializes in Doors murals.

 
Baron von Hosenschlange
 

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

May I also suggest trying some German sausage?

 
 

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

I must leave now, and I am under orders to pick up said seared muscle on the way home.

 
 

Vegetarian, bitchez!

Dammit, you are eating the food that my food eats. There better be some left for the cows and chickens.

 
Baron von Hosenschlange
 

but not with pita and hummus. that would be weird.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Dammit, you are eating the food that my food eats. There better be some left for the cows and chickens

I didn’t see any corn on that menu.

 
 

Van Morrison specializes in Doors murals.

Don’t be gawking at those murals, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.

 
 

“If this van’s a-rockin’, don’t bother knockin’”

My favorite van sticker was “Don’t laugh, your daughter might be in here.”

 
 

Don’t use Van Hagar*, he just wants to get into your pants.

.

.

*sort-of-obscure post Diamond Dave VH reference

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

but not with pita and hummus. that would be weird.

I suppose that would depend on how it’s served.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Yummy. And his mommy’s milk made and pressed into tasty cheese cubes.

Fuck yeah. The baby doesn’t need it any more.

 
 

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

I’ve made that very thing, only with raita, not hummus.

 
 

The seared muscle of cute baby sheep is good with that.

May I also suggest trying some German sausage?

Hee!

Dammit, you are eating the food that my food eats. There better be some left for the cows and chickens

I didn’t see any corn on that menu.

What she said.

 
 

Hummus? Under the circumstances I excused her awkward Swanglish, but I remember well that time when the the Sweedish women’s volleyball team offered to give me and all of my freinds one of those. Ahh, good times.

 
 

Hummus? It nearly killed us!

 
 

Swedish Hummus. Aww yeah. I just love those ….chick peas.

 
 

Rusty Shackleford said,
July 15, 2010 at 23:26

“Van Dyke”

That only confirms my suspicions that Dick Van Dyke was an oxymoron.

 
 

Hummus! Humm me only bitch! Before the Jacuzzi or I’ll burn your motherfuckin’ house down!

 
 

287. An Unburned Child said,
July 15, 2010 at 22:00
Am I not on Fire?

Better throw her in the water.

 
 

Maybe if Mel tasted my hummus he wouldn’t be so psycho.

 
A Fucking Magnet Child
 

Do I not work?

 
 

Maybe if Mel tasted my hummus

I believe that technically it would be you that would be tasting… something.

 
 

I believe that technically it would be you that would be tasting… something.

It works both ways, you know?

 
 

Oh look! Here’s the place you should try: VanTastic.

VanFuckingTastic. And if the van’s a rollin’, please try to stop it before it gets too much speed up because the reservoir is at the bottom of that hill.

 
 

Parts of the US are very like the Third World, and one unifying characteristic is the vast gulf between the richest and poorest, with the richest being very rich indeed, and the poor not only being very poor but also strangely invisible to the rich no matter how visible to everyone else.

Another such characteristic is an obsession with identity politics and a political system in which votes are cast according not to ideas or competence but solely according to politicians’ tribes. (Hutu/Tutsi, Punjabi/Pashtun, white/black).

Another is inadequate education, widespread ignorance and the proliferation of superstition (“Having sex with a virgin will cure you of AIDS,” “This lucky charm will protect you from snake bites,” “Evolution never happened.”)

Another still is a media ruled by ideology rather that integrity, in which professional journalism is increasingly crowded out by attack sessions against Enemies of the People (Granma, IRIB, Saudi Press Agency, Fox News).

By all these standards, the South has been a third world country for as long as anyone can remember, and the rest of the country is well on its way to regressing to that point.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Better throw her in the water.

Hot damn, I love that song.

 
 

I just made some hummus. OhEmGee it is goooood.

Did somebody say hummers?

 
 

From Tbogg’s comments Re: Sarah calls for Obama to “refudiate” NAACP statement.
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2010/07/14/the-blow-job-not-taken/

“Someone there suggested “refudiate” is a portmanteau; maybe, but the one I usually associate with Sarah Palin is “ignoranus”.”

Ignoranus is full of win, TBogg’s “Snowpack Snooki” also.

Video here. Hannitized for extra stupidity.

 
 

Mel didn’t post that I did. F.U. Mel.

 
 

Maybe if Mel tasted my hummus

I’d like to taste your hummus, if you know what I mean and I think you do…

 
 

Still from way back up there…

Lol, it so funny, you said she’s unelectable but she is in a dead heat with The Anointed One.

Liberals must be running scared…….

In the long run, no, not really. It’s conceivable that she’d be elected in 2012 (for more reasons than I have time to list)… however, the recession wouldn’t be over by then, and if she tried to implement her agenda, she’d revive it with a vengeance and end up being the worst disaster this side of Herbert Hoover (who was at least well-meaning, if economically blind).

Tell you what… you go right ahead, nominate and even elect her, and we’ll see what comes next.

(Candidly, I think there’s a huge section of the GOP that heaved a sigh of relief when they lost the election… it meant at least they wouldn’t be the ones responsible for fixing this).

 
 

You GUUUUUUUYS! I can’t believe you’re indulging in these innuendos!! I’m a prude; I don’t enjoy these things. Ok I’m gonna go laugh my ass off. Be right back.

 
 

I just wanted to bump the number up to 666. Hail Satan, twist and shout.

 
 

I can’t believe you’re indulging in these innuendos!

I’d like to get innuendo &c…

 
 

Damnit. Left “I’d like to indulge innuendo” right there on the table.

 
 

I’m a prude; I don’t enjoy these things

Awww. Give them a chance! You might like etchings!

 
 

That’s what actor said right before I developed self-preserving amnesia.

 
 

I’m a prude

You’re wrinkled and brown and you have a cold?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, man, you guys, this dude with dwarfism who works at frat bar just got on the bus. It depresses the HELL out of me.

 
 

Breaking News!
Oil spill has stopped. Lets all cross our fingers.

 
 

Um, that HA was for WC, not T&U.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s what actor said right before I developed self- preserving amnesia.

You, too? We should really start a support group.

 
 

I’m a prude; I don’t enjoy these things

I don’t think you’re being truthful.

 
 

Dammit, I thought Actor and I had a deal: he stalks T&U and I stalk VS.

Now I see he’s working my side of the street to!

 
 

LOL!! that was to tsam.

Um, WC, I reckon you could trade off. And mix it up with Jennifer and tigris. There are plenty people to stalk here!

 
 

You, too? We should really start a support group.

I can host…

 
 

Back off, Whale, she’s mine

 
 

“too”, too.

 
 

I’d be happy to “mix it up” with Jennifer and tigris ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo…

OK, even I’m getting tired of this one.

 
 

It’s totally Sadly,No After Dark up in here. And tsam’s gonna throw down for me! Score!

 
 

“You got to get a mental attitude that these guys can’t really hurt us. They’re not going to shoot us. It’s not Iraq,”

“Worst thing can happen to us is we run up a bunch of legal fees . . . and might have to pay a fine . . . might have to serve a little time in jail,” Stevens continued.

“I hope . . . it never comes to that . . . and I don’t think it will. But I am developing the attitude that I don’t think I did anything wrong, so I am going to go right through my life and keep doing what I think is right.”

~ Senator Ted Stevens

 
 

government, even in its best stage, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one

Hey, Troofie, if you love that quote of mine on government, you’ll positively swoon over my quotes on religion:

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. [Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason]

 
 

Priests and conjurors are of the same trade.

 
 

So T&U, why does the little person who works at the frat bar depress you? Dwarfism? Shitty job? Unwanted attention?

Honestly curious.

 
 

Candidly, I think there’s a huge section of the GOP that heaved a sigh of relief when they lost the election… it meant at least they wouldn’t be the ones responsible for fixing this

Huge may be a bit much. The vast majority of the ‘Baggers are True Believers, who would cheerfully destroy the country then immediately be screwed over by the corporate feudalism that would follow (and probably cheerfully go along as long as “liberals are pissed about it”).

But the remainder, whether old fashioned (aka non-paleo) conservatives or the Big Business Bought-Offs (and pantloaded syncophants), you damn right, they breathed a huge sigh of relief.

 
 

I take that back. Jonah still wouldn’t get it. I think most play at it for the money (e.g. Limbaugh, Beck), but Jonah really is that fucking stupid.

 
 

Candidly, I think there’s a huge section of the GOP that heaved a sigh of relief when they lost the election… it meant at least they wouldn’t be the ones responsible for fixing this

You’re operating under the mistaken assumption that the GOP would ever feel burdened by notions of responsibility in their insane quest for power.

For wingnuts, power is to be hoarded while responsibility is delegated to underlings.

 
 

You’re operating under the mistaken assumption that the GOP would ever feel burdened by notions of responsibility in their insane quest for power.

Well, they’d be seen as responsible, which would hinder them in the power quest. I also think some of them were smart enough to realize that.

 
 

Huge may be a bit much. The vast majority of the ‘Baggers are True Believers, who would cheerfully destroy the country then immediately be screwed over by the corporate feudalism that would follow (and probably cheerfully go along as long as “liberals are pissed about it”).

Sorry. I meant to add “strategists” after “GOP,” but it got left out. One of these things.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

WC–Shitty job. Can you imagine what kind of degredation and assholery he’s subject to? I mean, they have him in their ads…he’s like some fucked up version of a clown.

On the upside, he’s probably able to look up a lot of sorostitutes’ skirts.

 
 

Who knows, he might like the attention.

Personally, I’d hate working a frat bar for any number of reasons, including, after a very short time, the unattainable smirking beauties. However, I have a brain, which disqualifies me as both a frat boy and a Republican.

Also, too, and finally, comma abuse is a terrible thing.

 
 

Here’s my favorite CON-servative quote:

“You got to get a mental attitude that these guys can’t really hurt us. They’re not going to shoot us. It’s not Iraq,”

“Worst thing can happen to us is we run up a bunch of legal fees . . . and might have to pay a fine . . . might have to serve a little time in jail,” Stevens continued.

“I hope . . . it never comes to that . . . and I don’t think it will. But I am developing the attitude that I don’t think I did anything wrong, so I am going to go right through my life and keep doing what I think is right.”

 
 

That’s what actor said right before I developed self- preserving amnesia.

You, too? We should really start a support group.

Boobs for Actor212

 
 

Dammit, I thought Actor and I had a deal: he stalks T&U and I stalk VS.
Now I see he’s working my side of the street to!

I thought your membership ran out!

 
 

You know, I thought T&U’s trash looked like it had been gone through already.

 
 

C’mon. Sadly No! has to take on the letter by Mark Miller, chair of the Dick Armey-created and corporate anti-HCR interests and frequent spokesperson on FOXNOOZ and CNN and other fine billion dollar media.

He was pissed that the NAACP called certain fringe elements of the TeaTards racist and would the TeaTard leadership please do something.

In order to dig himself into a deep, deep, Klan robe-lined trench, he wrote this as if NAACP chair Ben Jealous (real name) were a slave complaining to Abraham Lincoln about emancipation in a letter.

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew NAACP Head Colored Person

They are so totally not racist.

 
 

WTF? Did the blog just eat my comment?

 
 

It’s totally Sadly,No After Dark up in here.

Screen cap of a cartoon monkey getting spanked or it didn’t happen.

 
 

“Let’s not hasten this thing along and make it look like we are trying to stop them at the pass,” the lawmaker said. “I am not afraid of them at all.”

Later, the men commiserate about the entanglement.

“Hey, Ted, I am sorry this whole thing has happened,” Allen said.

“Life is life. These things happen,” Stevens replied, recounting a story about his uncle Walter, an inventor, getting in trouble with authorities.

“Attitude is what makes a difference,” he said. “We are both going to live a long time if we do this right.”

 
 

The head of one of the largest TeaTard group got mad that the NAACP said TeaTards should control their racist fringe, so Mark Miller of the Dick Armey-launched Tea Party Express thought it would be helpful to deny their racism by writing a letter as if he were Ben Jealous (real name), head of the NAACP, if Ben Jealous were a slave writing to Abraham Lincoln who was angry at Emancipation and wanted to be re-enslaved.

No, I’m not fucking joking.

I’m sure this will finally put to rest any suspicion that TeaTards are racists.

 
 

linky-poo

It’s really tough getting that out of the carpet.

 
 

“Eat ONE foot… and you’re a cannibal!

 
 

Boobs for Actor212

Everyone will chip in to pay for the surgery.

 
 

I’m going to ask you all, as a special favor to me, to have at Joel Stein and Time magazine, apparently out to corner the teabagger market.

I ask you to take care of this because, well, it leaves me speechless.

 
 

Am I not made out of FUCKING MECHANICAL LIONS?

 
 

BTW, gocart – that was my comment over at TBogg’s linking to Palin’s call for Obama to “refudiate” the NAACP. Hah! Glad you enjoyed it; I see the Bogg man didn’t credit me for pointing it out when he featured it in his next post. Grrr.

 
 

Oh, and I was Voltron up there also too.

 
 

Well, shit. I finally wade into this thread again at the end of my busy day, and manage to KILL IT DEAD with my first post.

 
 

I can’t believe it has 720 comments already.
~

 
 

Good lord El Cid, I guess subtlety is not his strong point.

 
 

Slow Dads Uncovered
World’s Most Pitiful Writers
Perfect Cook Makeovers
World’s Most Saintly Roaches
Notorious Bureaucrats and the Lacy Economists They Love
When Manicurists Go Adult
Perfect Bigamies Uncovered
Rich Guy Makeovers
So You Think You Can Sanitize?
So You Think You Can Injure?
When Enigmatic Embalmers Go Irresistible
So You Think You Can Depress?
Lustful Widow Makeovers
So You Think You Can Quantify?
World’s Most Flavourless Defenders
Familiar Abnormality Uncovered
When Savage Vampires Go Genetic
So You Think You Can Pilfer?
So You Think You Can Enfeeble?
Permissive Professors and Their Nuns
When Foul Rats Go Eloquent
World’s Most Abysmal Sociologists
Argumentative Mistress Makeovers
World’s Most Pleasurable Major Demons
When Erotic Journalists Go Vegetarian
So You Think You Can Electrocute?
When Particular Adulthoods Go Honest
World’s Most Everlasting Losers
So You Think You Can Cancel?

 
 

I would click at least half of those.

Which would be telling

 
 

Yes, I have pilfered. Still could, were I ever to get another job [M.G. Krebs “WORK?!1!?11” schtick].

 
 

Holy shit, there’s somebody else who remembers Maynard G. Krebs?!

 
 

Remember? Practically made me what I am today.

 
 

Could be M. G. Krebs the gangsta rapper, too.

 
 

Slow Dads Uncovered
World’s Most Pitiful Writers
Perfect Cook Makeovers
World’s Most Saintly Roaches
Notorious Bureaucrats and the Lacy Economists They Love
When Manicurists Go Adult
Perfect Bigamies Uncovered
Rich Guy Makeovers
So You Think You Can Sanitize?
So You Think You Can Injure?
When Enigmatic Embalmers Go Irresistible
So You Think You Can Depress?
Lustful Widow Makeovers
So You Think You Can Quantify?
World’s Most Flavourless Defenders
Familiar Abnormality Uncovered
When Savage Vampires Go Genetic
So You Think You Can Pilfer?
So You Think You Can Enfeeble?
Permissive Professors and Their Nuns
When Foul Rats Go Eloquent
World’s Most Abysmal Sociologists
Argumentative Mistress Makeovers
World’s Most Pleasurable Major Demons
When Erotic Journalists Go Vegetarian
So You Think You Can Electrocute?
When Particular Adulthoods Go Honest
World’s Most Everlasting Losers
So You Think You Can Cancel?

Until I hear this at the Globe’s poetry slam;
And a chance to practice an ad-hock jazz-fok ona LGO just don’twork.

Neither do theguys a t @ aat Globe Cafe in Seattle bfore they got punced out of their lease on….

 
 

Wayyy too many comments here, and entirely lost the thread, but I appreciate the level of understanding here of the root problem.

It’s those lazy fuckin’ poor people complaining all the time that they need more of the bank bailout money.

God, I only wish one of us could eviscerate the ass-kissing billionaire’s apologists that have infected the entire country with their evil-ass myths about the undeserving poor.

 
 

Boobs for Actor212

Everyone will chip in to pay for the surgery.

I’d never wear a shirt. And I’d never stop touching my tits.

 
Cardinal Richelieu
 

Ah have nothing to say, babee, just helping towards ze goal of 1,000 posts, no?

 
 

I know this mic ain’t on any more, but watching Rachel Maddow’s show last night (7-16) wherein she and Richard Engle tour the brand new gazillionaire “neighborhood” of Kabul makes me actually want to shove something down a wingnut like Gutfield’s throat. These bizarre mansion-castles were built after the war money started pouring in. Wealthy people built ’em, rent them out to foreign companies, then go to live in more elegant environments like Dubai. No paved streets here, no sanitation system, no garbage collection. That would involve infrastructure, and what soul-impaired billionaire living in Dubai wants to pony up the taxes that would construct that stuff. No, each mansion has its own generator, its own guards, probably its own staff of all-but-slave workers, and rent is usually around $25K a month.

“…The fact is, the richest person in a Third World country would trade that spot for the lowest rung on the American ladder….”

No. No, fuckwad. They wouldn’t.

I can’t seem to link directly to the clip, but if you scroll down the July 16 Latest Programs bar to “US Money Leads To Modern Castles Amid Afghan Poverty”, click on that.

Video here

 
 

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