Mitt Romney may have glorious hair, but I will bet there’ll still be enough bigoted Americans unwilling to trust anyone but a good Protestant to represent the nation in the near future to blow his chances out of the water every time.

I imagine the accuracy on those things would be fan-fucking-tastic…

Ah, but you’ll note that McCain made a concession to the base, which is what Mitt (or any GOP potential) would have to do. And even if he hadn’t, do you _really_ think the Repub. voters would have stood by and a black man becoming president?

“He’s go the requisite white skin and that’s plenty good enough for Republicans these days. His “CEO experience” in the “business community” will be more than enough for Independents and racist Democrats.”

Yep. Corollary to what I wrote above: never, ever underestimate the average conservative’s programming when they are desperate for a potential Big Daddy John Wayne who might to save them from the Eeeeevil Civilization-Destroying Black Man. That and their lockstep thinking (and failing any other prospect coming out of nowhere), are perfect predictors of how they roll.

He’s go the requisite white skin and that’s plenty good enough for Republicans these days. His “CEO experience” in the “business community” will be more than enough for Independents and racist Democrats.

If he could ever make it through the GOP’s primary process, and there are signs that he’s not pant-shitting crazy enough for that, he could beat Obama in a head-to-head election with no trouble, especially since the progressives have thrown in the towel and plan to go into full-tantrum mode and watch the Democrats get slaughtered in November and the Media is buying into the notion that because the stimulus was supposed to stop unemployment at 8 percent, and it didn’t, that Obama needs to become the sacrificial Negro.

Watch how fucked up things are going to become after November. And it will be our fault, too.

There was a program back in the 60s called Skybolt, which would have mounted long-range ballistic missiles on B-52s…

Probably would’ve been hard to record “Rock Lobster” after that, but it’d've made for an interestingly dangerous live show.

Treck quesshun!

Diego Garcias come inna box o’ twenny foah!

Yeah.

You know, that might be more impressive if any of them knew how to find Diego Garcia on a map.

Many of the rednecks I’ve been inflicted upon can tell you the yield of all the cruise missiles on the average battleship based on Diego Garcia within a kiloton.

It’s scary, sometimes.

Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

I can guarantee you Caribou Barbie is going to play serious “Mean Girl” against her opponents and show off her ignorance blatantly enough to turn off a big chunk of supporters of the other candidates. And a big chunk of her supporters are going to defend her to the death against the supposed slights of her opponents and the media.

So in the end, if it’s Caribou Barbie, plenty of sane Republicans are going to sit it out or vote reluctantly for the Negro President.

And if it’s Mittster, the Palin-ites will sit it out.

Of course, if Mittster tries to do a McCain and nominate Palin as VP, hilarity will ensue.

Yep.

Back in 2000, Bush beat McCain because he was able to merge the big business and religious right factions, leaving McCain with nothing but the moderates. In 2008, there was no George Bush – the big businessers distrusted Huckabee, and the religious righters distrusted Romney. Hence, McCain.

People thought McCain had no chance of being the GOP Republican candidate–but when all was said and done, the conservatives united behind him.

My two-year-old memories of that campaign tell me that McCain only got the nomination because he was everyone’s second choice. And even then, the GOP base hated him so much he had to throw his buddy Rape Gurney Joe overboard and pick Caribou Barbie as his running mate.

If Mittens gets the nomination, he’ll face the same problem, only worse, and he’ll deal with it the same way. Only worse.

Not this one! I barely touch fruit.

It’s a lot like Oral Roberts’s nine-hundred-foot-tall Jesus. You and I hear that sort of talk and we are just disgusted. But that’s not how Roberts’s followers feel about it. They are just as aware as you and I that Roberts’s claim, as factual reporting, a lie, and not just a lie but a blatantly self-serving one (900′ Jesus was part of a fundraising pitch). And this gives them an opportunity to show off their religiosity, superior to sane people’s religiosity, by ostentatiously affecting to believe this obvious lie. “God said it, I believe it, that settles it! (big shit-eating grin) And it serves as kind of a shibboleth; everybody else who acts as though he too believes it is on your side, while people who can’t quite bring themselves to avow complete faith in this obviously untrue story – well, now, would you want a doubter like that in your Klavern?

There are democrats who EAT VEGETABLES!

Focus please.

This one?

This is the man who wants to be the Commander-in-Chief, the leader of the free world, and the guy who takes the 3 a.m. phone calls in the White House and yet he thinks that you mount ICBMs on bombers.

It takes a lot more than one gaffe to lay a GOP pol low, even one that pathetic. A lot of the RealAmericanz™ who’d be inclined to vote for Mitt have no idea what ICBM even stands for. Team politics & “RULE ONE: Spite Teh Liberals” means that Mitt could advocate child-rape & cannibalism & still only poll a few points behind any other venal twit running for the same brand-name, er, party.

Fortunately, as many here have pointed out, his Magic Gonch has far more dire political implications for Mitt than a little thing like not having a clue about military hardware.

Republicans now being increasingly crippled by the same bigotry they’ve fed into (& won elections with) for so many years = IRONYGASM.

That still leaves the question: who the hell CAN the Goopers run against Obama in two years’ time? Chuck Norris? Zombie Reagan? They’ve sure got an awesome menu to choose from – if you enjoy putrid gruel.

I’m kind of hoping they get desperate enough to ask Walnuts to get back on that soul-killing hobby-horse, & he tells them to eat shit & die in a fire.