Dead Men Can’t Talk And Other Pensées
Posted on May 25th, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Back Cover of John Derbyshire, Prime Obsession
Shorter John “Humbert Humbert” Derbyshire,* America’s Shittiest Website™
Martin Gardner, R.I.P.
- The recently deceased Martin Gardner was such a swell guy. When he was too old and too sick to read my book Prime Obsession he said (and now you can’t prove otherwise!) that I could write whatever blurb I wanted to under his name and put it on my book. So I did. My only regret now is that I didn’t add something in the Gardner blurb about my enormous penis. You know, for the benefit of the young girls, er, ladies.
[Thanks, Tom!]
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Cf.
Amy Alkon has a bigger penis than Derbyshire.
I really have no idea why Derbyshire hasn’t been deported by now. Either out of the country or off the planet.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO CREEPY? WHY WON’T HE GO AWAY???
Damn, that’s brazen. Give Derbyshire credit for sheer ghoulish chutzpah.
I’m not sure which is worse – being so desperate to toot your own horn that you would write a favorable review of your own work and attribute it to someone else (whether with their permission or even at their own urging) or that, having written said review, you would later admit to having done it.
Catherine the Great says I’m a real animal in bed!
Hannibal? Alps? For me, bitches.
Ho. Li. Fuk. Until this moment, I didn’t care a rat’s ass about Derpyshire. Now I hate him with all my being.
Shit like this makes me glad that I’m practically geriatric.
Every time I hear the Derb’s name, I think that he can’t possibly say or do anything to make him seem more repulsive. And then, a year or two later, he tops himself.
It occurs to me that no one really cares about Derbyshire unless he says something horrible. Maybe it’s deliberate.
Damn, that’s brazen. Give Derbyshire credit for sheer ghoulish chutzpah.
Well, he is also the guy that laughingly refers to his own wife and kids as ‘mud people.’
Zombie blurbs. Who’d a thunk it?
Ruh Roh! I love Gardner’s The Annotated Alice, it’s a pity that Derb is doing his best to spoil my recollections of this man and his work. It was bad enough that he sullies the surname of dearest Delia by virtue of his mere existence.
What are the chances, a wingnut writes a book about a pretty fucking complicated subject and when asked to get an endorsement from a genuine expert on said complicated subject, he comes up empty.
I’m sure you mean AND OTHER PENISES.
You’re welcome.
Isn’t this the guy who brazenly muses about whites being superior to blacks and how sexy 12-year-olds can be? *shudder*
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
From now on, we should call him Shameless (or Shankless) Derbyshire.
When someone not only waxes eloquent about the attractiveness of teens but flat out says he can’t find an airbrushed pic of Jennifer Aniston fappable because she’s 36 you know you’ve passed beyond common lizard brain territory (o loek shez fertull) and into fetish.
And why would a grown man have a fetish for teens? What is it about grown women that makes his willy wilt?
Rhetorical question. The reason is because he sucks.
This guy is so stupid he a) thinks anyone gives a shit about his Martin Gardner story and b) is dense enough to brag about a fake blurb.
(psst–most blurbs are fake)
And why would a grown man have a fetish for teens?
Well, you see, there’s the firmness of their….
Um, I’m really not sure!
I’m not sure which is worse – being so desperate to toot your own horn that you would write a favorable review of your own work and attribute it to someone else (whether with their permission or even at their own urging) or that, having written said review, you would later admit to having done it.
Asperger’s Syndrome?
Some really good drugs?
Truly disgusting. And while I don’t think JA is a great beauty, she does have an enviable (if a tad thin) figure. I reckon most normal men would let her eat cookies in bed.
This guy is so stupid he a) thinks anyone gives a shit about his Martin Gardner story and b) is dense enough to brag about a fake blurb.
Assuming it’s not self-published, I wonder how the published let him get away with it. Normally, reviewers of that caliber have to submit the reviews in to the book’s editor.
The thing is (Gary Ruppert sez), most teens have teenface. Which is to say they’re at an awkward stage in their lives.
I guess I’m missing something. Are you saying Gardner did not write that blurb? Is that because he was too old at the time? I would think that even a 95-year-old on their deathbed could wheeze out a few words such as those. Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t write them. Or is there some other evidence? I agree Derbyshire is a total jerk, but this accusation seems a bit unfounded.
Or is there some other evidence? I agree Derbyshire is a total jerk, but this accusation seems a bit unfounded.
Derb admits it in his post, actually.
And why would a grown man have a fetish for teens?
You know why there are age of consent laws?
‘Cos there have to be!
I reckon most normal men would let her eat cookies in bed.
No, but slurp soup? Maybe.
The way the story is told, sounds like the agent or publisher or whoever wasn’t all that knowledgeable about the math world to begin with. And then the math world itself is pretty genteel and sleepy, aside from the random oddballs like that Russian guy who won’t accept that prize he won, or Bobby Fisher.
Well, not totally random–sometimes extreme mathematical ability comes packaged with major psychiatric problems, but such folks usually don’t get tenured.
actor’s right. If you’re willing click and scroll he admits it.
And why would a grown man have a fetish for teens?
You know why there are age of consent laws?
Well, duh, but most grown men wouldn’t turn down Jennifer Aniston. Unless they watched Friends and found it really annoying.
That’s all I’m saying.
The evidence is Derby admitting as such in a public setting.
Unless they watched Friends and found it really annoying.
BINGO!
There’s a tool for everything, kid, but the Lunch Lady’s favorite is the slotted spoon.
Lunch Lady! YAY!
Meanwhile, Johan Loadedhosen is kicking himself and begging his publisher to stick a blurb from St. Ron on the next printing of Liebrul Fishism.
That’s why I said fetish and not proclivity. Most adult humans find teenagers attractive in general, but most adult humans also find adults attractive as well.
So you gotta wonder about the guys that fixate on teens. It’s not that they’re into teens so much as that they run screaming from adults.
Take “Dr.” Mike Adams (who has married a string of teenagers). The guy loves to debate with strawmen. He also lost a lawsuit that he brought trying to say that his strawmen debates were academic papers. He, basically, sucks, so he probably seeks out teenagers because they give him the kind of suck-up adoration that grown women refuse him. He was totally butthurt when some female colleagues slapped him down on a personal and professional level.
Can anyone provide a link for Derbyshire’s admitting this?
B^4,
Beer and bacon tasting in Queens tonight!
http://www.whyleaveastoria.com/events/beer-bacon-tasting-1
Frito, just follow the link at the top of the post. Sheesh.
What Bitter Scribe said.
So you gotta wonder about the guys that fixate on teens. It’s not that they’re into teens so much as that they run screaming from adults.
Simple. It’s a control issue. This is a theme of every pedophilic encounter, Lolita being the most notable rendering of it.
Unreal. And of course the ethically-challenged SOB sees nothing wrong with attributing his glowing self-recommendation to a terminally ill, mentally ill 93 year-old man.
Beer and bacon tasting in Queens tonight!
Man, that looks really good, but I’ll be enumerating two large buildings in Yonkers tonight for the Kenyan Usurper’s regime- this phase of the census ends when the month does, and I’ll be working doubles at the other job on Thursday and Friday, so I gots to knuckle down.
I’m gonna miss beer and bacon!
I’m gonna miss beer and bacon!
Keep that place in mind, however, if you’re looking for a cheap beer and wine place. They’re pretty good.
elder abuse, child abuse, animal abuse…
What I don’t get is that there’s not much mental work that needs to go into a book blurb. You could fart out a blurb for a book you’ve barely read the title of, and I don’t know why Gardner wouldn’t do that instead. Here: “Derbyshire’s lucid prose and excellent research and beady little eyes bring the story of the Riemann hypothesis to life. I also like the anecdote about him getting kicked by Bruce Lee. FAP.” – Love, Djur
“Derbyshire’s book: “I couldn’t put it down, because I’d have to pick it up first” – Actor212
You know what’s interesting about the fake Gardner blurb? The text is really, really awkward.
I was. . .friendly with a family that included a bright 13-year-old boy
A coded shout-out to his fellow NAMBLA members?
He was trying to get the 13 yo boy hooked on math, so as to leave the 13 yo girls for himself.
A coded shout-out to his fellow NAMBLA members?
Coded?
“It would be impossible to have a better opinion of Derbyshire’s book than I do.”
so as to leave the 13 yo girls for himself
Does this have anything to do with the afterschool special?
I want to see Derbyshire’s book on the Riehlman Hypothesis- the hypothesis that a bunch of twelve-year-old black kids on the Metro are hardened (VPR?) Obama thugs, just itching for some teabagger blood.
“John Derbyshire’s book was dictated by God, that’s how good it is”
Beer and bacon tasting in Queens tonight!
Damn!! and me back in LA.
BBBB – we did go to Ferndinando’s. Writing about it, post up soon.
B4: does this have anything to do with his sneaking suspicion that the 12 yo “mud children” had bigger penises than he does?
Does he have Wang Wasting Syndrome?
Personally, I thought du Satouy’s tome was more comprehensive and clearer.
But I was never a big fan of Sabbagh, so what do I know?
Pencil-Dick Peyronies?
“John Derbyshire’s book could have walked on the water, or swam on the land. John Derbyshire’s book was way cool.”
phucktard’s phimosis?
Prostate prostrate?
Tumultuous tumescence?
“John Derbyshire’s book is a revelation of biblical proportion on the scale of the Koran.”
Schlong Schmutz
Wee willy?
Putrid putz
The thirteen-year-old girl is one of the deepest of all unsolved problems in romance. Unfortunately it is difficult to state exactly why this is. It is high time that someone would write a book explaining the thirteen-year-old girl in ways understandable to men who want a lay, and even to laymen. Three cheers to mmy for finally having done it.
–John Derbyshire, National Review contributor and … um … well, shit, isn’t that good enough?
shlimmer shmuck Schadenfreude
BBBB – we did go to Ferndinando’s. Writing about it, post up soon.
Isn’t that place something, I fell in love with the decor! Did you get the spleen sandwich?
His schwanz is all verkakt.
but not to those who lay men, because they’re presumably getting plenty already
Wrinkled winkie?
even the feygeln won’t fellate him
Tumultuous tumescence?
Inspired by adolescence.
dirty, dinky dong
Tumultuous tumescence?
Inspired by adolescence.
glorified by the presence
of the fawning, grateful peasants
highly hypospadic
Tumultuous tumescence?
Inspired by adolescence.
glorified by the presence
of the fawning, grateful peasants
The essence, the essense
His senescence
DIRTY PENIS
Oh! Better still!
He used RAPE STATISTICS to prove his point that women between the ages of 15-20 were eminently more fuckable (though he did admit that anybody who rapes 10-14 year olds is a sick bastard).
Dog Bites Hole in UFC Fighter’s Penis
Talk about a bad date!
He used RAPE STATISTICS to prove his point that women between the ages of 15-20 were eminently more
fuckablerapableless muscle mass, more naive, can’t hold their liquor, more likely to be in a bad situation, q.e.f.d.
less muscle mass, more naive, can’t hold their liquor, more likely to be in a bad situation, q.e.f.d.
Eggggggsaaaaaactly. I’m not saying Derbs is a child molester, but I am saying that maybe he should have to stay 1,000 feet from any middle school, junior high, high school, junior college, or college.
Damn!! and me back in LA.
Well, you could always pick up some takeout at Animal.
And then share it.
less muscle mass, more naive, can’t hold their liquor, more likely to be in a bad situation, q.e.f.d.
Perkier tits, curvier hips, pouty mouths, short skirts…
does this have anything to do with his sneaking suspicion that the 12 yo “mud children” had bigger penises than he does?
There’s an unfortunate joke about young people’s hands and small penises that I am loathe to make here.
There’s an unfortunate joke about young people’s hands and small penises that I am loathe to make here.
Why do you think most porn actresses are so short?
Perkier tits, curvier hips, pouty mouths, short skirts…
You’ve succeeded in thoroughly disgusting me twice today. Congratulations!
At any point did you try choking the dog out?
Stoopid dog wouldn’t tap!
What a dumbass question.
” I’m not saying Derbs is a child molester, but”
it would be irresponsible not to speculate
Why do you think most porn actresses are so short?
Oh, THAT’S why I never get laid.
You’ve succeeded in thoroughly disgusting me twice today. Congratulations!
Once more and I can claim the toaster.
Oh, THAT’S why I never get laid.
Y’know, there’s a line here forming to help you with that.
Dead Men Can’t Talk
AHEM. I say, AHEM.
It’s cheaper shipping them when you can stack them.
It’s cheaper shipping them when you can stack them.
Damn. I knew there had to be a good reason.
You’ve succeeded in thoroughly disgusting me twice today. Congratulations!
Once more and I can claim the toaster.
actor212 you owe me a keyboard!
AHEM. I say, AHEM.
Throat clearing doesn’t count.
You guys talk too fast. Try and get some work done while your at work and the new thread ratchets up to some very large number.
You have to give Derbs props, though. Whether it’s lusting after the PSAT set or writing his own book blurbs, there seems no predilection or behavior so repugnant that he won’t own up to it.
Is this honesty, or just his failure to understand how disgusting he is?
Is this honesty, or just his failure to understand how disgusting he is?
Yes.
Is this honesty, or just his failure to understand how disgusting he is?
It’s honesty the same way a two year old who proudly shows his mommy the dookie he made under the stairs is honest: in other words, he’s needs a spanking.
OT, it’s not just Republicans. Does anyone doubt that this guy smokes Poles?
Once more and I can claim the toaster.
Could you wait at least 15 minutes, please? I’m eating.
Y’know, there’s a line here forming to help you with that.
Could they wait at least 15 minutes, please? I’m eating.*
*VCR
Y’know, there’s a line here forming to help you with that.
Could they wait at least 15 minutes, please? I’m eating.*
Y’know….
Does anyone doubt that this guy smokes Poles?
Hey! I learned how to say “faggot” in Polish! That will come in handy if I ever need a bundle of sticks in Warsaw!
Did you get the spleen sandwich?
chickened out on the spleen sandwich. I wanted to try the spaghetti with sardines, but we filled up on arancini and panella.
We tried to go back on Saturday but we ran afoul of the G train, which wasn’t running – couldn’t figure out how to get there.
next time.
Does anyone doubt that this guy smokes Poles?
No. And obviously, my conscience is waning, because I would normally pity such a pathetic person. Instead, I just feel like kicking him in the nads.
I’m not sure which is worse – being so desperate to toot your own horn that you would write a favorable review of your own work and attribute it to someone else (whether with their permission or even at their own urging) or that, having written said review, you would later admit to having done it.
The former is not as uncommon as you might think. (The latter is very uncommon; usually this sort of thing is only admitted in private.)
Here’s how it works. It does no one any good to have his book blurbed by Joe Nobody, PhD; you need someone whom people have heard of so that they’ll say “Oh, look, this guy liked this book, and I like his stuff; maybe I’ll like this one too.” Within any given field, there are really only a few people who qualify. So for linguistics, you want Pinker; for math, you want Gardner; for poppish social pseudoscience, you want Gladwell. As a consequence, these guys get *swamped* with requests for blurbs. They can’t possibly read all the books they’re sent, and blurbing is a boring and thankless task anyway. At the same time, these people don’t want to look like assholes by turning everyone down, so it’s much easier to go to a few people you trust and say “Look, just write something appropriate and tack my name on; I’ll have a look and change it if I feel the need.”
I find this appalling, to be honest, but it does happen. I’ve even had some of my references ask me to write my own recommendation letter (which is VERY awkward when you *need* this person as a reference and you’re not sure they’ll put in the time to write a good letter if you turn them down). Within my field, I’ve noticed that the very nice people and the very senior people* generally refuse to play this game; they’ll either turn you down or do it honestly. People who have a very high opinion of themselves generally think themselves above such petty tasks.
*As a general rule. Some of them seem to decay into a state of beneficient dementia and start enthusing about everything they’re given. Poor Anne McCaffrey has been doing this for nearly a decade.
Could they wait at least 15 minutes, please? I’m eating.*
*VCR
How do you get Veiled Librarian Orgy Reference from that?
Why do you think most porn actresses are so short?
Oh, THAT’S why I never get laid.
There is an intimidation issue (is my dick big enough) and a control issue (don’t have to look down at all to make eye contact). I really liked dating a woman as tall as I was… there are not enough of them.
I very strongly believe that if men and women were of equal height, there would be a lot less misogyny.
Or perhaps just more guys with black eyes, lol.
I very strongly believe that if men and women were of equal height, there would be a lot less misogyny.
Women should simply grow up, eh?
chickened out on the spleen sandwich.
You’re out of the will!!! The arancini are amazing… I think a combo of small plates is the way to go there.
Does anyone doubt that this guy smokes Poles?
Well, the Poles are known for their large, frequently smoked sausages.
Who
stolehid the Kishka, indeed?I’ve even had some of my references ask me to write my own recommendation letter (which is VERY awkward when you *need* this person as a reference and you’re not sure they’ll put in the time to write a good letter if you turn them down).
I wrote both of my grad school reference letters, which included one from my boss. It was weird.
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22logrolling+in+our+time%22&ie=UTF-8
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22logrolling+in+our+time%22&ie=UTF-8
I do miss Spy Magazine.
There is an intimidation issue (is my dick big enough) and a control issue (don’t have to look down at all to make eye contact).
And really, for every douchebag like that, there are guys that don’t care or like tall women. It’s a nice, automatic screening technique.
In a very special issue of PLAYBOY, coming to an airport newsstand near you:
Prisoners, hospital patients, teen runaways, and old ladies: Our Most Rapable Feature Spread Yet
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of them seem to decay into a state of beneficient dementia and start enthusing about everything they’re given. Poor Anne McCaffrey has been doing this for nearly a decade.
She and Anne Rice* should start their own Red Hat Society club.
*-she of the “you are interrogating this text from the wrong perspective” and general Amazon.com self-wankery
That will come in handy if I ever need a bundle of sticks in Warsaw!
Or a light.
FAGGOTRY
FAGGOTRY
Two-needle fagoting? DIRTY.
“Fagot”? Is that the French spelling/pronunciation? Fah-go?
I do miss Spy Magazine.
Some of the best cartoons ever… Euell Gibbons standing in the forest with his car: “Ever eat a Volkswagen?”
Faygo
“Fagot”? Is that the French spelling/pronunciation? Fah-go?
Faygo?
Faygo
Sounds like something Renault would make. Probably about as much fun.
Dammit.
Some of the best cartoons ever
And under, of all people Graydon Carter, some of the sharpest writing.
I mean, really, to describe Donald Trump (among others) as a “short fingered vulgarian” is a priceless and imaginative description.
Faygo
Sounds like something Renault would make. Probably about as much fun.
My annoying brother’s druggie friends claim there’s a flavor (coconut or something? I don’t even recall) that tastes like cocaine. And they would know.
Dammit.
Great minds think alike, and all that rot.
Sounds like something Renault would make. Probably about as much fun.
Are you saying you don’t like practical French sedans and tiny (cute!) underpowered hatchbacks?
My annoying brother’s druggie friends claim there’s a flavor (coconut or something? I don’t even recall) that tastes like cocaine.
Now, I don’t want to make out that I did a lot of drugs…and kids, listen to your uncle Actor and STAY IN SCHOOL!…but for the life of me, I can’t imagine anyone who’d want to *taste* cocaine except to check the purity.
She and Anne Rice* should start their own Red Hat Society club.
Meh. Rice has devolved into a creature that’s a cross between fangirl, Internet troll, and postmodern confabulator; McCaffrey is just senile. I don’t think the two could tolerate each other.
Are you saying you don’t like practical French sedans and tiny (cute!) underpowered hatchbacks?
Put it this way: my buddy owned a Fuego way back in the day. The engine block froze when the temperature dropped to 30.
Because we had to heat it up nearly every morning, I called it the Fu-Eggo.
Great minds think alike, and all that rot.
Yeah, I think I owe you a Coke, or some bullshit like that.
Mangoes!
Damn, that’s brazen. Give Derbyshire credit for sheer ghoulish chutzpah.
That’s offensive both to the undead and Jews. Jesus, being at the center of that particular Venn Diagram, has to be especially displeased.
Anon, are you saying Anne Rice isn’t senile?
You’re right, though. Anne Rice is a troll. How the mighty have fallen & so on & so forth.
Mangoes!
Thank you for sharing your mangoes with us. They were juicy and delish and plentiful!
The comments are truly juicy.
Crap. Guess it was my turn.
Crap. Guess it was my turn.
No harm, no foul. I had a different spin on mine.
Random thoughts: isn’t libertarianism just another utopianist anarchy fantasy?
I thought we used to imprison anarchists without due process and deport them to whatever country we thought deserved them?
OT: What do we learn from this boys and girls?
If you can hide the magnitude of the problem for 48 hours, it’s enough time for upper management to call their brokers and cover.
isn’t libertarianism just another utopianist anarchy fantasy?
Ultimately, it is, yes, especially when infused with that lovely strain E. Randikaka.
What they never seem to reconcile is that individualism means freedom not just from government but from corporations and other commercial combinations that would also limit the freedoms of the individual.
And when you point out that America is effectively a “right-to-work” nation in the absence of unionization, they change the topic.
Thank you for sharing your mangoes with us. They were juicy and delish and plentiful!
You’re welcome. I figure such things of beauty should not be kept hidden.
If you can hide the magnitude of the problem for 48 hours, it’s enough time for upper management to call their brokers and cover.
Fuck that. Someone pointed out that Schlumberger, the firm tasked with certifying the drill site, abandoned the rig eleven hours before it blew, because they couldn’t guarantee the safety of their workers.
I figure such things of beauty should not be kept hidden.
Would you like me to etch those for you?
isn’t libertarianism just another utopianist anarchy fantasy?
Except that it privileges property rights over indivudal rights. So it’s a rich white guy’s version of utopia.
If by this last you mean “cover for stupid assholes” then yes.
OT: What do we learn from this boys and girls?
I’ve been trying desperately for the past MONTH (Jesus Christ, a fucking month!) not to think too hard about it. But I’m afraid a 2004 election/Katrina/Iraq War-style breakdown is in the near future for me.
Except that it privileges property rights over indivudal rights.
Actually, there’s a form of libertarianism, geolibertarianism, that’s practically socialist. But you’re correct. It’s mostly about property, but that’s understandable since property=theft.
T&U pointed out AmericaFreakingOut in the last thread. It’s got a little activity now. Mods, you watching?
http://www.americaspeakingout.com/
I’m kinda waiting for the second wave, the real crazies, to appear.
Actually, there’s a form of libertarianism, geolibertarianism, that’s practically socialist.
Well, at least that’s less self-serving and the only way to come close to ethically squaring their particular circle.
Commited libertarian=not intellectually serious.
being so desperate to toot your own horn that you would write a favorable review of your own work
I can’t see how fake reviews are going to increase my spinal flexibility. Wouldn’t yoga be better?
But I’m afraid a 2004 election/Katrina/Iraq War-style breakdown is in the near future for me.
Shit, I went through that after GWB became president & the PATRIOT Act was passed into law. (9/11 didn’t bother me enough because even though it was terrible, it didn’t really challenge my grip on reality. Shitheads are shitheads.)
Oy gevalt.
Intellektual seriosity is theft!
Well, at least that’s less self-serving and the only way to come close to ethically squaring their particular circle.
Hang on, Cyn. I consider myself a left libertarianist, which is how Noam Chomsky describes himself.
In other words, I’m so far left, I’m right!
Freedom is theft.
You want theft? Teen sluts taking The Pill and lying about it. I’m entitled to all the pussy and womb I can rape.
John Derbyshire = Humbert Wombert
Atheismus ist Diebstahl!
Shit, I went through that after GWB became president & the PATRIOT Act was passed into law.
GWB becoming president was pretty fucking awful, but I was occupied enough at the time that it didn’t really register how well and truly our democracy was fucked. Plus, I had that whole bullshit attitude about how there wasn’t really any difference between Gore and Bush because I was dumb and lucky ton as a president during my teen years.enough to have Clin
And why would a grown man have a fetish for teens? What is it about grown women that makes his willy wilt?
Miley Cyrrus or Monica Belluci?
I’ll go with the 45 year old, thanks.
The fuck? Sorry about that.
See, the breakdown’s totally starting!
GWB becoming president was pretty fucking awful, but I was occupied enough at the time that it didn’t really register how well and truly our democracy was fucked.
I work in government and couldn’t find a job because of his little recession, so I had a little too much time to think about it.
Don’t get me wrong, Gore sucked, but Bush was unbelievably ghastly, so, you know, one of those clothespin votes.
I can’t imagine anyone who’d want to *taste* cocaine except to check the purity.
Teh Whackyweedia informs me that drug dogs are trained to sniff out methyl benzoate, an ester released when “Cocaine hydrochloride hydrolyzes in moist air”. Methyl benzoate is also present in feijoas (FAVOURITE FRUIT) and gives them their distinctive aroma.
Opportunities here for hilarity.
Don’t get me wrong, Gore sucked, but Bush was unbelievably ghastly, so, you know, one of those clothespin votes.
Oh, I agree. I was living in Kansas and fancied myself to be some sort of rebel, so I voted for Nader. It wasn’t like my vote was going to count anyway. I just had no clue how bad things would get.
Methyl benzoate is also present in feijoas (FAVOURITE FRUIT) and gives them their distinctive aroma.
OK, now that’s an excuse I can buy into. If it’s supposed to fool the dogs, then it actually makes sense.
Opportunities here for hilarity.
Ahh, yes the sort of hilarity that leads to strip searches and getting added to the no-fly list. Which is to say, the best kind of hilarity.
See, the breakdown’s totally starting!
Hie thee to americafreakingout.com, suggests me.
Yeah, this is pretty awesome:
I would like to see a bill to congress giving every American one million dollars paid out over 5 years with a upfront payment of 0ne hundred thousand dollars. this idea sounds crazy but think of the results. All social programs would stop, heath care, social security, armed forces pay, homeless, disaster relief, and any goverment grants. The outcome would be 100% employment, all business would increase, America would be the leader of the world again. To stop inflation a rise in prices would need to be held at a past years price cap. This idea would balance the budget as everyone would pay taxes and the boom in housing and car sales alone would be a real big tax income for goverment, whitch would now be smaller because of the closing of many social services in goverment. This makes more sence the more you look at it.
I would like to see a bill to congress giving every American one million dollars paid out over 5 years with a upfront payment of 0ne hundred thousand dollars
Why do I sort of see this submitted on a clean sheet of white paper to Nancy Pelosi, using letters cut out of the local Pennysaver?
armed forces pay
Wait, what?
Also, too:
“About the ideal of Fiscal Accountability: where is the money going? I would like a receipt. It would be nice to get a very detailed, readable statement that explains where your tax dollars went after you filed your returns. I mean that once you pay your taxes, you get something like a receipt. To be more meaningful, the receipt should contain not only what the money was spent on, but which elected official to be credited with the commitment to spend that money on that project.”
I mean that once you pay your taxes, you get something like a receipt.
Uhhhhhhhhh, you could, you know, read the budget, or at least a summary.
What a bunch of idiots.
Shit, I went through that after GWB became president & the PATRIOT Act was passed into law. (9/11 didn’t bother me enough because even though it was terrible, it didn’t really challenge my grip on reality. Shitheads are shitheads.)
Terrible as this may sound, 9/11 didn’t mark me much either.
Probably because I
wasam a history nerd, who’d started paying attention to international politics two years earlier (Iraq and Kosovo) and had read enough history to know that this kind of shit was standard fare, and that it was simply the luck of the draw (geographic isolation) that it didn’t happen in America more often. Okay, so, another bunch of idiots attacked us. It’s inevitable; let’s take them out, go home, and get on with our lives.It’s not until a few years later that I realized that most Americans had taken 9/11 as a tear in the fabric of the universe.
armed forces pay
Wait, what?
I don’t know! It makes no SENCE!
I don’t know! It makes no SENCE!
It’s almost like
John DerbyshireMartin Gardner wrote it!Uhhhhhhhhh, you could, you know, read the budget, or at least a summary.
I think (s)he wants an actual breakdown of where every single individual dollar that (s)he’s contributed goes to. Because they totally track that, right?
It’s not until a few years later that I realized that most Americans had taken 9/11 as a tear in the fabric of the universe.
I know. Sure, it was fucking horrible and traumatic, but we’re not the first country that’s happened to, and, as you said, we’ve just been lucky that we haven’t been hit like that before. I don’t think Americans realize how isolated and sheltered we have been.
Because they totally track that, right?
Totally! I mean, it’s like crude oil, right? Every single drop knows exactly where it’s headed from the moment it
spillsis pumped out!If I got a receipt I imagine it would look something like this:
Dear chump,
thank you for buying the USAF 5 minutes worth of JP-8. This jet fuel was used by an Air National Guard pilot skylarking on the way home from a training mission. We thank you for your help in waking up almost 200 screaming toddlers over downtown Omaha Nebraska on 12 June 2009. We look forward to your contribution next year, when we expect your contribution will help us put new tires on the staff car.
-Uncle Sam
P.S.
Seriously, 6 years of college and that’s all you make? Get a real job loser!
Now there are a couple of people going on about bailouts for unions? I don’t get it. Is that a thing?
P.S. Seriously, 6 years of college and that’s all you make? Get a real job loser!
*wiping coffee off screen*
Dammit!
*wiping coffee off screen*
\m/ (>.<) \m/
“Now there are a couple of people going on about bailouts for unions? I don’t get it. Is that a thing?”
Safe bet is that is just another bald face lie.
From there:
I support the third one.
Derb does not support the last bit, I suspect.
They celebrate Cinco de Mayo more enthusiastically than the 4th of July!
LOL!
Most Messicans I know…legal or not…have no CLUE why 5dM is such a big deal up here and it’s mostly white folks looking for an excuse to drink tequila that celebrate!
Safe bet is that is just another bald face lie.
I’m sure. It’s just one I hadn’t heard before.
“Any and all public sector employees from the post office to the president that are under an ethics investigation shall be immediatley suspended without pay until the investigation is concluded. The pay that said employee would normally recieve should be applied directly to the deficit.”
Uh huh. I’m sure that $2,000 your postman would have been paid while being investigated for an ethics violation would make a HUGE dent in the deficit. And would be worth the time and money required to investigate the violation in the first place.
“There ought to be a Constitutional amendment banning cannibalism in every state except Kentucky.”
A. Constitutional. Amendment. banning…bannnnnnnning cannibalism?
I didn’t realize this was such a pressing issue or is this a preventative measure for the Zombie Invasion?
“The outcome would be 100% employment, all business would increase, . . . ”
I don’t know about you, but when I get my million dollars, I’m gonna quit my job.
Who needs an excuse to drink tequila?
Hey I woke up! bust out the Cuervo!
I really think that the wave of High Krayzee has yet to break on that site. It’s warming up but (near) Peak Wingnut has not been achieved there yet.
“Reverse the Supreme Court ruling that allows campaign spending by corporations & unions”
Hey, I hate that decision, too, but, like, there’s this thing called separation of powers? I think those dudes in wigs talked about it in that Constitution thingy…
I didn’t realize this was such a pressing issue or is this a preventative measure for the Zombie Invasion?
Pssst. I think it was a troll. In reference to the Republican candidate for senator and his issues with the GOP.
I really think that the wave of High Krayzee has yet to break on that site. It’s warming up but (near) Peak Wingnut has not been achieved there yet.
This is pretty good:
“Get rid of he American Disabilities Act. It is too expensive to retrofit an entire building for 1 employee. As Rand said, just give them an office on the ground floor instead of having to build a bunch of ramps and rebuild every bathroom – as we had to do. It sounds nice to do all the access stuff, but it is cheaper to build them their own office and even pay for taxis than retrofit a building or bus.”
*snort*
It would be nice to get a very detailed, readable statement that explains where your tax dollars went after you filed your returns. I mean that once you pay your taxes, you get something like a receipt. To be more meaningful, the receipt should contain not only what the money was spent on, but which elected official to be credited with the commitment to spend that money on that project.”
I believe that’s what most people call the Federal Budget. There’s your receipt.
“Any and all public sector employees from the post office to the president that are under an ethics investigation shall be immediatley suspended without pay until the investigation is concluded. The pay that said employee would normally recieve should be applied directly to the deficit.”
and what happens after the employee is cleared? How does he/she get the money back? Good luck, BTW, to living in a world where people falsely accused of something are suspended without pay, I’m sure that will work out just fine.
What strikes me is that the GOP is looking for issues traction with this site. I don’t think it’s a “mollify the morans” effort as much as an Interons Focus Group.
“Get rid of he American Disabilities Act. It is too expensive to retrofit an entire building for 1 employee. As Rand said, just give them an office on the ground floor instead of having to build a bunch of ramps and rebuild every bathroom – as we had to do. It sounds nice to do all the access stuff, but it is cheaper to build them their own office and even pay for taxis than retrofit a building or bus.”
They’ll like that just fine a couple years from now when they’re too obese to walk and have to use a medicare-provided scooter.
If Kentucky does go through with such a ban I know which state will not be getting my tourist dollars this summer. That’s all right cuz Tennessee has the best BBQ baby.
What strikes me is that the GOP is looking for issues traction with this site. I don’t think it’s a “mollify the morans” effort as much as an Interons Focus Group.
I know! I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve noticed that Republican talking points tend to be generated in the back alleys of the internet by mouthbreathers; ie, Freepers. Eventually they’re picked up by Limbaugh or some other human-sized pustule, and pretty soon, Repubs are repeating it like fucking gospel. I guess they just wanted to go straight to the source.
Get your gummit hands off my medicare-scooter!
You’ll pry my Rascal outta my cold, dead hands!
I guess they just wanted to go straight to the source.
The deficit is not just measured in dollars, now is it?
The deficit is not just measured in dollars, now is it?
Nope. It would be so much cooler if it were measured in Skittles!
MOAR:
I. See.
9/11 did scare the bleep out of me when it happened, but I live and work in the DC area (inside the beltway). Saw the Pentagon burning and one of my wife’s friends lost a husband in the Pentagon (Navy officer). Still thought the Patriot Act was BS. It’s the folks that live in Outer Buofoo in flyover country that freaked that I despise. The people who live in the places actually targeted (NYC and DC) didn’t let the attacks scare them into voting for Shrub, but the folks who lived in some tiny midwestern bumpintheroad town sure did. cowards.
I saw an interesting idea once, where you could direct your tax dollars to a specific program or department. You like big shiny weapons, you direct it to the Pentagon,. You like the arts, that’s where your tax dollars go. Not sure if workable (kinda doubt it) but an interesting idea…
Euell Gibbons standing in the forest with his car: “Ever eat a Volkswagen?”
I liked the floating Volkswagen ad – “If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he’d be President.”
OK, that was National Lampoon. I’m dating myself.
But, yeah, Spy was awesome, as was suck.com
And when people were cowed into voting for Dumbya, the terrorists won.
Tennessee has the best BBQ baby
Actually, North Carolina does, but in Kentucky they barbecue goats.
Somewhere, Mickey Kaus is weeping.
*sigh* Y’all are WRONG. Kansas City has the best barbecue.
Good Lord, this site is a fucking goldmine.
“Why are we getting global goverment? Socialism? who is standing up and Protecting The Constitution? You all swore to protect it. PROTECT IT. WE HAVE ENEMIES WITHIN PROTECT US PLEASE”
Kansas City has the best barbecue.
I must admit that lil’ Jake’s Eat It and Beat It is/was fine.
And I should know, as I have a Master’s of Barbecue from the Pitmaster’s College at Greasehouse University in that fine, fine city.
Also love the steaks.
These are not patriotic people. They celebrate Cinco de Mayo more enthusiastically than the 4th of July! If we do nothing, they will take over.
And those Irishers with their Saint Paddy’s day. Send them all back to Irshland.
Was my cannibalism joke too subtle? I was talkin’ about nom-nommin’ BBQed babies. The state was secondary to the joke. Anyway I’m pretty agnostic about BBQ; it’s all pretty great to me.
Well, I was going out for ribs tonight but now I’m reconsidering..
Also love the steaks.
So you don’t call them “New York strips”? YAY!
Was my cannibalism joke too subtle?
Nope. I’m just hungry. And touchy about KC barbecue.
Sowwy!
MOAR:
OK, I made that one up.
That sowwy was to Woodrow. My jokes ‘r’ gross.
Sowwy!
Now I’m joking.
Honestly, the best bbq I’ve ever had has been prepared in my own home. Well, not literally in my own home, because that would cause carbon monoxide poisoning.
Ah ha! Never mind.
That sowwy was to Woodrow. My jokes ‘r’ gross.
Not grossed out, it’s just now my taste buds are set for BBQ baby!
This convo is making me hungry
T&U what typically characterizes KC style sauce?
T&U what typically characterizes KC style sauce?
It’s a thicker, tomato-based sauce that has a little sweetness* and usually a little heat.
We usually have Gate’s original formula on hand, though the in-laws like the sweet and mild because the original is “too spicy.”
*Not like that barftastic HFCS KC Masterpiece shit, though.
Cannot…help…self…
WordPress ate my bbq comment!
Anyway, I was saying that it’s tomato-based, usually a little sweet, and slightly spicy. It’s thick, too–about the consistency of ketchup.
If you really wanted to try it, I would suggest ordering from Gates BBQ. Do NOT eat that KC Masterpiece shit, which might as well be Kool-Aid.
I’m really not generally a fan of any other barbecue, but I don’t have to thank the Rendevous in Memphis for the genius idea of BARBECUE NACHOS. It’s like they wanted to make all my food fantasies come true before I even knew them…
Yeah I don’t like overly-sweet sauces either.
T&U that’s a cruel thing to say to a hungry crowd.
“Support cannibal abstinence education in our schools. Cannibal abstinence is the only fail-proof way to protect teens from the many harmful consequences of chopping up, cooking, and eating other teens before marriage. A growing body of research confirms that cannibal abstinence education is effective at helping young people delay the act of eating human flesh and discontinue it if they have already begun. The current Administration zeroed out all funding for cannibal abstinence education.”
Gronk the Caveman says:
Gronk brane hertz.
“The government should get out of the way and respect our freedom. They should lift all bans on smoking, guns, hunting, and food. At the same time, they should strengthen the moral fiber by making it illegal to take drugs, teach evolution in schools, and gamble.”
Shorter: My preference and prejuidices should be enforced by the government.
That has to be someone trolling the site.
I hope.
And now I’m hungry, too.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
May 25, 2010 at 22:57
“Now there are a couple of people going on about bailouts for unions? I don’t get it. Is that a thing?”
Found it T&U.
LATOURETTE (R-OH!): They’ve run this diagram and it really is a, I think, blaspheming my good friend Pat Tiberi from Ohio and indicating that there are nine Republicans supporting a bill that will bail out unions. Well, that’s nonsense and I don’t know who the pin head and weenie is at Fox News that decided to put that story together.
http://thinkprogress.org/2010/05/25/latourette-fnc/
I know! I didn’t eat enough lunch.
Found it T&U.
I don’t know why anything these people do surprises me anymore. Fuckers.
Please, people. Barbecue, is beef. Sure, you can also have pork ribs and chicken and trukey anad sausage but without brisket, it aint barbecue. Come right down to it, barbecue doesn’t even exist outside of Lockhart, TX.
” I don’t know who the pin head and weenie is at Fox News that decided to put that story together.”
I know. There are so many possibilities.
Also, he said “weenie” on the house floor heh heh also.
We can run real fast into brick walls head first and NOT GET HURT AT ALL!!!
Many of our own have died for our right to do this.
Was my cannibalism joke too subtle? I was talkin’ about nom-nommin’ BBQed babies. The state was secondary to the joke. Anyway I’m pretty agnostic about BBQ; it’s all pretty great to me.
…
And now I’m hungry, too.
What you need is the spleen sandwich.
but without brisket, it aint barbecue.
Pulled pork. The only barbecue.
9/11 did scare the bleep out of me when it happened, but I live and work in the DC area (inside the beltway). Saw the Pentagon burning and one of my wife’s friends lost a husband in the Pentagon (Navy officer). Still thought the Patriot Act was BS. It’s the folks that live in Outer Buofoo in flyover country that freaked that I despise. The people who live in the places actually targeted (NYC and DC) didn’t let the attacks scare them into voting for Shrub, but the folks who lived in some tiny midwestern bumpintheroad town sure did. cowards.
I lived (still live) in DC too and definitely same thing here – there were rumors going on about a bomb threat in the State Department, and I had a family member who worked there. That turned out to be bogus, thank God.
But yes, I’m happy DC didn’t shit itself like some parts of the country. One exception; certain suburbs in northern Virginia that are very heavy on military-industrial complex people. Specifically the types who will spend their entire lives climbing the rear-echelon ladder to power via “think tanks,” “contractors” and whatnot, but absolutely refuse to ever set foot outside the country, especially in uniform.
Ironically, northern VA is also where a lot of the Muslims in the area congregate. I’ve always wondered how awkward that neighboring arrangement must get.
Its been a busy afternoon I see.
Women should simply grow up, eh?
Or guys get lopped off at the ankles. I think most guys would then prefer taller women. Perhaps through genetic engineering; lets put Monsanto to work on something useful! I would also like more guys to have properly sized arms so I could find shirts that fit more easily. A lot of stubby-armed guys out there, based on the shirt marketplace.
I did not get the new job promotion. Douchebags misinterpret confident competence as an arrogant threat. But I also suspect they have a candidate from outside the company they wanted; its a very crony-oriented company, historically.
Well, one way to do it would be to eliminate that pesky “corporate personhood” thingy.
I wonder how well that would go over at gop central.
I’m happy DC didn’t shit itself like some parts of the country.
There was truly epic overreaction throughout the land. Some of it was high quality stuff, if you’re a connoisseur of the absurd.
From a September 12 Washington Post article:
Here’s what’s gonna happen with this Republitard website: Since Sliced Bread, redux. Some of you may remember the SEIU’s “big idea” website where they awarded a prize for the “best idea”. It was totally rigged the way it ran, and ultimately, they picked the ideas that most closely matched SEIU’s agenda and pretended they were the ones picked by people voting on the site. And it was clear that most of the people who posted “ideas” and voted really had no clue as to what an “idea” is in the first place: to wit, something needed, with at least a clue as to how it could be implemented. Otherwise, a so-called “idea” is just mental masturbation of the “wouldn’t it be great IF” type.
But that’s exactly what “won”. A little boilerplate regurgitation of “hey, wouldn’t it be great if we developed the hell out of renewable energy sources?” Like it was something original, or something with a workable blueprint, or anything other than what it was: some guy just repeating a bunch of stuff he’d heard about.
Anyhoo, that’s what the Goopers will do: they’ll zero in on the “ideas” that support what they already want to do and claim that their website proves that these are the issues on everyone’s minds. They’re not looking for a new direction; they’re looking for polling data on which of their usual drums they should beat on more loudly in order to win this fall. It’s got fuck-all to do with making a new agenda, or even with passing the things they’ve claimed to support all along – it’s just about repeating back to the rubes the ideas they’ve indicated they’re most fired up about.
I am become threadkiller, slaughterer of threads.
Anyhoo, that’s what the Goopers will do: they’ll zero in on the “ideas” that support what they already want to do and claim that their website proves that these are the issues on everyone’s minds.
I agree with what you’re saying, but I think the real idea here is to feign interest in what the masses are saying. Everybody knows that the people just want to be healthy, make a living, get an education for their children, feel safe, and have some picture of the shape of things to come.
The GOP and the Democrats have to try to fool people into thinking that they aren’t the political arm of CorporatePAC. They always have been, and even adjustments to that arrangement (The New Deal) don’t really change that sad, simple fact. Unfortunately, about the time that the news media wings of the corporate media completely stopped giving a shit about anything but the profit margin for FatherCorporation, people slowly started becoming convinced that unrestricted capitalism is a viable economic model. Combine that with a flood of imported electronics and cheaper cars, “no rules” mortgage lending, credit cards for everyone, the idea that things are really really good seems to stick. Now that we’re being forced to own up to our own gluttony and pay back the borrowed time and money, people are a bit angry. It’s natural, however, to “go with what you know”, and keep believing that making rich people richer will somehow benefit the middle class.
it’s just about repeating back to the rubes the ideas they’ve indicated they’re most fired up about.
That’s right–keep the dialogue focused on the poor, oppressed entrepreneur/white guy in the country. Watch out for that evil islam, evil socialism (which is the SAME AS FASCISM OMFG), that shifty eyed, uppity n****r in the not-so-White House, the mexicans stealing your paycheck through welfare, etc…
Whoops. Should have been:
I am become threadkiller, destroyer of worlds.
Misquoting kills threads dead.
Ok, I did actually laugh:
Someone has been naughty over at GOPFreakingOut:
I hate to bring this up, but just before he died, Martin Gardner confided in me that he thought John Derbyshire was a complete asshat.
He used that very term: “asshat”. He also said he never would have allowed Derb to use his name on a blurb, but Derb threatened to take a baseball bat to Gardner’s wife and dog.
I guess now it can be told.
How’s about since this is a Christian Nation founded on Biblical Principles, all weights and measures shall be required to be in cubits, homers and shekels. Every guy will be happy cause they get to buy a new socket wrench set. Jobs! I guess since guns are Sacred, we can keep calibers.
Actually, Jen, I was pondering your comment before posting something in response.
Yes, I think the party is looking to repeat back at the rubes what they want to hear, they are collecting talking points. But I also think the party has no clue. Hell, they have been encouraging TeaTards and allowing radio personalities drive the party agenda. When I mentioned the “deficit” in a comment above, I was talking about an ideas deficit with the Goopers. They don;t have shit.
Nope. The court’s decision was set explicitly in the terms of the political speech rights of “associations of persons.” The free speech rights in question belong to the owners of the corporation or the members of the union, not the organization itself as a legal entity. Abolishing corporate personhood would not affect Citizens United at all.
FYWP–Second time writing this comment–
btw you’re no threadkiller Jennifer. That’s my job. Now watch this post…
I totally agree with what you’re saying. I do think that the main issue here is feigning interest in what the masses have to say.
GOOPERs and Democrats both walk a tightrope. They all know we want health care, education, security, and some sense of comfort in the shape of things to come. They have to convince Americans that they aren’t the political arm of CorporatePAC. They always have been, and always will be. Even minor adjustments to program, like the New Deal only scratched the surface of the problem.
About the time that the news media wings of corporate media quit giving any kind of a shit completely, the message continued to be hammered home, again and again, that what’s good for corporate America is inherently good for the middle class. The message was well reinforced by reality–floods of cheap electronic goods, “no rules” mortgage lending, credit cards for everyone, cheap fast food, all contributed to the idea that we’re kickin’ ass and taking names. Bush tried an early bailout with Social Security privatization. It failed.
Now that we’re being forced to own up to our gluttony and stupidity, and pay back the borrowed time and money, we’re angry. The petulant outbursts aren’t going to change anything, but when things look to be uncertain, people have a tendency to “go with what they know”, meaning be scared of the mexicans, the shifty, uppity n****r in the White House, liberals, Iran–anything that helps to avoid facing facts. They did such an awesome job of creating the underclass of poor, oppressed entrepreneur/white guy/christian. Look for that dialogue to intensify in the next few years.
Look for that dialogue to intensify in the next few years.
To finish my point: Start a website, let thousands of utter dumbshits echo their roadworn talking points back at them, and they have something to point to and say “See? This is what Real America wants, not what that crrrazzzyyy liberal media keeps saying they want, what with all those ‘scientific’ polls and whatnot.”
I think that’s the endgame. Just courting and pandering to the LMPSSOA.
(Loud Mouthed Pants Shitters Society of Amercia™)
Who’s ya thread killa? Huh?
Yeah.
It would be nice to get a very detailed, readable statement that explains where your tax dollars went after you filed your returns.
In other words: “Hey, everyone, lets hire a massive fucking army of permanent Federal employees to centrally track, audit, and process every government expenditure and every U.S. taxpayer so that I can get an itemized list of how my tax money is being wasted.”
It’s just the perfect picture of “fiscal hawk” assholery, right there.
Now watch this
postdrive…The Bush era in a nutshell, IMO.
Everything Palin touches turns to shit (vol.374).
The dude stole almost verbatim from one of the most famous speaches of the decade. What a dumbass.
See side by side video of Ward 2010 and Obama 2004 convention speach here.
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/palin-touch-endorsee-vaughn-ward-ida
all weights and measures shall be required to be in cubits, homers and shekels.
That would lead to a disaster of Biblical proportions.
Old Testamenty sanction and all — “Divers weights, and divers measures, both of them are alike abomination to the LORD” (though some scholars interpret that as simply meaning that YHWH doesn’t approve of diving, take note actor212).
GOOPERs and Democrats both walk a tightrope. They all know we want health care, education, security, and some sense of comfort in the shape of things to come. They have to convince Americans that they aren’t the political arm of CorporatePAC. They always have been, and always will be. Even minor adjustments to program, like the New Deal only scratched the surface of the problem.
The Republicans, yes. Even in their mellow, moderate phase between 1952 and 1980, they never stopped being the party of Wall Street – it’s just that Wall Street, after twenty years of New Deal victories, had resigned itself to cooperating with government and labor (as an alternative to a Second American Revolution). The head of the “moderate” wing was a Rockefeller, for Christ’s sake.
But the Democrats? Maybe it’s romantic attachment on my part, but I don’t think they were always that way. Franklin Roosevelt, especially, may have saved big business’ neck with his reforms, but he did so in a way that pretty much put their lifestyle, their agenda, their stranglehold on the nation’s politics, all out to dry. Not that it was a populist’s dream, no political party ever is. However I still think FDR and company, to borrow from “Gladiator,” were men for the people if not of the people.
“See? This is what Real America wants, not what that crrrazzzyyy liberal media keeps saying they want, what with all those ’scientific’ polls and whatnot.”
Yes, but.
The Goopers read polls. They commission tons of them for internal consumption to try and figure out what they can hornswaggle the rubes with while continuing to back the corporate powers that be (Right On!). I think this is part of that process but I think it also comes from a lack of internally generated memes that can sustain themselves without being barfed and re-barfed by the Rushes and Blecchs.
Political ecosystems abhor vacuums, too. Into a vacuum of real ideas comes the krayzeetalk and with nothing else to push it out, well, there it sits, looking all trenchant and shit.
TBogg is on fire.
But never mind that, Sarah Palin had just gotten home from probably shaking down some trade organization for $100,000 for a word salad of platitudes, when she decided to throw on a tank top and shorts (oh Jesus, Lowry, put it away) in the 57 degree weather and go out and mow the lawn (uncut because lazy worthless Todd Palin spends all of his time drinking beer made from fermented moose and tinkering in the garage with his snow crotchrockets). But then Sarah, who can see both Russia and the neighboring house from her yard, found McGinnis trying to grab a glimpse of the glistening sheen of perspiration between her breasts as she pushed the reel mower; her nipples, like heliotropic Hershey’s Kisses, thrusting against the thin fabric of her wifebeater in the chill Wasilla air. (okay, Lowry, you can take it out again) :
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2010/05/25/neighbor-from-hell/
Now watch this post drive…
The Bush era in a nutshell, IMO.
I thought that tied in well with my admission of recklessly breaking threads, and not having the competence to do anything besides bust a thread all up in dis piece!
That does sum things up well, doesn’t it?
Upon further thought, here’s some ugly realism for you.
They have to convince Americans that they aren’t the political arm of CorporatePAC. They always have been, and always will be. Even minor adjustments to program, like the New Deal only scratched the surface of the problem.
The government will always be a PAC for the elite. Used to be the nobles, today it’s big business, in the commie world it was the Party. You can’t stop it from happening (and in most countries, they’ll kill you for trying).
But you can make sure they don’t fuck the people (much) in the process. Take Europe. You still have crooks in government, looking down on the little people, cozy public/private scams (look at Berlusconi and his media for crying out loud)… but the welfare state’s still intact, and people mostly get to live decent lives. Why? Because the elites still have the violence of the last two centuries well in mind, and know better than to invite another round.
Over here, the elites have the public trained instead of the other way around. Turn that equation on its head, and you still won’t have honest politicians, but at least you’ll have a decent life.
Book reviews:
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2010/05/the-ressentiment-of-the-reactionary-elite
I thought that tied in well with my admission of recklessly breaking threads, and not having the competence to do anything besides bust a thread all up in dis piece!
That does sum things up well, doesn’t it?
Aheh heh! Break a thread once, shame on – shame on you. Break a thread twice, ah… ahhh… Well, heckuva job, Brownie!
But the Democrats? Maybe it’s romantic attachment on my part, but I don’t think they were always that way. Franklin Roosevelt, especially, may have saved big business’ neck with his reforms, but he did so in a way that pretty much put their lifestyle, their agenda, their stranglehold on the nation’s politics, all out to dry. Not that it was a populist’s dream, no political party ever is. However I still think FDR and company, to borrow from “Gladiator,” were men for the people if not of the people.
You’re probably right. It is difficult to stand back further and look at the bigger picture, especially considering that a wing of the party used to be the southern party of “OMFG IT WAS 100 YEARS AGO–LET IT GO ALREADY” racist motherfuckers. There was the Industrial Revolution, Westward expansion, the age of the robber barons, all with little besides the full support of Washington. The unions in those days largely fought their battles alone. FDR was an aberration for sure. Unfortunately, I get to spend the rest of my life with the overwhelming Congressional support for the war in Iraq, and for the absolutely disgraceful embarassment that was the committee negotiations on health care reform–following the utter dismissal of any idea of actually reforming you know, like health care and stuff.
I do judge them harshly, but as a father, a future retiree, a worker, I expect something for myself, my family, and the millions of other families who are in precisely the same station in life. This is OUR country, not fucking Halliburton’s.
Aheh heh! Break a thread once, shame on – shame on you. Break a thread twice, ah… ahhh… Well, heckuva job, Brownie!
Can’t get fooled again. What need to know is, is our children learning? huh. huh. (bounce, bounce, smirk, smirk)
It’s just the perfect picture of “fiscal hawk” assholery, right there.
You gotta brake a um.. you know some eggs to make a sammich. Oh, I want mustard. Do you have any mustard? I like cheese. But not messicans. messicans baaaadddd. There ilegal.
It is the perfect picture. The other is “END ALL ENTITLEMENTS NOW!!!” Because 95% of the federal budget goes to welfare for
blacklazy people who don’t want to get a job! It’s everywhere! OMFG! The horror! Get them off me! AAHHHHHHH~as well as a life-size oil painting of El Rushbo.
Which, like El Douchbo himself, has small objects orbiting it due to it’s freakishly large mass.
Ah–that’s from Substance’s link, btw…
Sorry Sub!
See? Whaditellya? Nobody kills a thread like this muthafucka right here.
“I received a very touching letter in reply. Martin’s wife had died a couple of years before, he said, and his grief had made it difficult for him to concentrate. He was trying out an anti-depressant medication, and really wasn’t up to reading a book with full attention just then. However, he had read some of my work, and trusted me sufficiently that I was welcome to write a blurb myself and attach his name to it.”
Wouldn’t the decent response be to not write a blurb and attribute it to a man who was too miserable to be bothered? “Hey, I asked this depressed and grieving man to review my book, but he was too sick to do it and he told me….” is pathetic and shameless.
Upon further thought, here’s some ugly realism for you.
Get that intelligent perspective out of my FACE! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It’s also awfully scary.
No credit necessary when my internet life is all about stealing from others.
I give John Derbyshire’s book two enthusiastic thumbs up!
the debbil made me do it.
Get that intelligent perspective out of my FACE! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It’s also awfully scary.
Doesn’t have to be, is the point. But yes, unfortunately, it’ll probably be scary enough in this country for quite a while.
Don’t flatter yourselves.
These threads do not die; they can not be killed: They merely smell funny while waiting for the next post.
I wonder if now he’ll admit to having written the book as well.
You gotta brake a um.. you know some eggs to make a sammich. Oh, I want mustard. Do you have any mustard? I like cheese.
Dude. Are you high?
I’m not, but I momentarily thought the Menedez Brothers were some sort of variety show.
No credit necessary when my internet life is all about stealing from others.
I feel that you need credit after doing battle with the evilocity that is WordPress.
,em>Dude. Are you high?
Not very high, no. I just way overcommitted on the ..uh…joke.
Doesn’t have to be, is the point. But yes, unfortunately, it’ll probably be scary enough in this country for quite a while.
It is scary, but if you look back at the union wars, the Civil War, the civil rights battles, Vietnam, McCarthy…just to name a few periods where Americans really had their heads stuff up their asses for a while–the good guys won all of them. I have to hold out hope that the trend continues.
So my guess is that he figures it’s cool to fess up about putting words in Gardner’s mouth now that he’s shuffled off this mortal coil – whereas it’s taking an ugly-stick to an already-homely situation. Yes, I’m sure lots of other writers do it – but they usually aren’t idiotic enough to say so, regardless of whether the person they’re using as a megaphone is alive or not. Derb obviously didn’t major in Thinking Shit Through, did he?
I was going to speculate as to his dietary preferences, but on second thought, I don’t want to unfairly cast aspersions on scat-munchers.
This is GREAT news … for John McCain!
BREAKING NEWS! NEW WEBSITE PROVES THAT THINK-TANKS CAUSE IRREVERSIBLE BRAIN-DAMAGE!
FDA, CDS, NIH WARN OF IMPENDING PANDEMIC OF CATATONIA IN THE WASHINGTON, D.C. AREA!
Huh. The Fail Flambe Reverse-Catapult that was GOP.com plainly taught them nothing. Blegging for ideas = admitting that your party has the mental stamina of an overcooked eggplant.
Flamers & crappy coding ruined our last website? Let’s make the next one center around content that’s user-generated … & let’s make it even more ugly than the first one! Then we’ll take the ideas we like the best & put them into our platform for the midterms – oh, what a cunning plan! The Dems will never be able to guess what’s coming (assuming they don’t know how to use Google)! Nyah hah hah haaaaaaah!
But is there anybody left in Gooperland bright enough to thoroughly vet all the more lucid-sounding “Take Back Our Country” brainfarts that come in via the Interwebs? Happily, No*!
__________
* The Fifth Basic Law applies: the GOP has much more to fear from one Useful Idiot than from a dozen trolls.
I just way overcommitted on the ..uh…joke.
Ha! I also failed my face off at html tagging. I think I’d better get high.
jim;
You give the best snark I’ve ever witnessed on the interwebz. Sadly, No! should put you on staff!
Flamers & crappy coding ruined our last website? Let’s make the next one center around content that’s user-generated … & let’s make it even more ugly than the first one! Then we’ll take the ideas we like the best & put them into our platform for the midterms – oh, what a cunning plan! The Dems will never be able to guess what’s coming (assuming they don’t know how to use Google)! Nyah hah hah haaaaaaah!
I’m laughing hysterically at this! Wait–I’m rotflmao’ing! That’s what I meant.
This just in….Sarah Palin is outraged about the threat to her privacy posed by a writer renting the house next to hers.
She’s so outraged at the invasion of her privacy that she’s posting a photo she secretly took of him online, and she’s spreading gossip about his supposed evil intentions. She’s so concerned that her children will be spied upon that she describes the location of her daughter’s bedroom window. Just the idea that someone could be watching her has made her self conscious about the shorts and tank top she describes as her normal attire while in private. Why, she was so upset about someone invading her sacred home that she sent Todd over to the man’s house to knock on his door and demand what he’s up to.
Ain’t it awful, that just because of this horrible man Sarah Palin’s private business is all over the intertubes?
She’s so outraged at the invasion of her privacy
What is this damn nation coming to when you don’t get a say in who buys the house next to you?
Snorghagen said,
May 26, 2010 at 0:39
I’m happy DC didn’t shit itself like some parts of the country.
There was truly epic overreaction throughout the land. Some of it was high quality stuff, if you’re a connoisseur of the absurd.
From a September 12 Washington Post article:
At the mail processing center in Zanesville, Ohio, about an hour east of Columbus, postal worker Michael Mitchell and his co-workers immediately went to the large metal doors at the loading dock and secured them with heavy chains and a padlock. No one was taking any chances.
“The mall closed down. You know it’s big time here if the mall closes,” Mitchell said.
I drive through Zanesville regularly, since I now live in Columbus (but the fambly is still located in D.C.).
Back when I was a kid, I used to buy books through SBS (SOCIALIST BUREAU of SOCIALISM, aka Scholastic Book Services).
A severe financial setback in 1889 caused by a poor investment forced Grey’s father, out of embarrassment, to move his family out of Zanesville to start anew in Columbus, Ohio.
I know the feeling.
~
Piper’s bedroom, my little garden, and the family’s swimming hole?
Are those three locations, two, or one?
Now, about that whole barbecue thing – it’s all pretty good, really. Except maybe for some of that shit from South Carolina what has mustard in it.
As for Bible Spice’s concerns – maybe Derbyshire shoulda rented the house next door instead?
I have to wonder if Plume, Derbyshire’s publisher knows that Debryshire wrote the blurb long after Gardner was dead? I’d guess Derbyshire didn’t tell then and/or lied about it. I can’t see any publisher not getting twitchy about a fake blurb. (Yes, lots of blurbs are a stretch, based a phone call, an assistant’s words, or whatever but those blurbs all get the okay of a living person.) Plume is part of Penguin/Pearson, seems to me that they need to reprint that cover, sans blurb, before Gardner’s estate gets pissed about and they have pulp the books and head to court. Do Gawker, Media Bistro, etc. know? I hate to give a crappy book any notice but Debryshire’s cheated.
Yes, lots of blurbs are a stretch…
Paging Walter Monheit…I smell Oscar!
~
I smell Oscar!
Not surprising, since he lives in a garbage can.
Shorter me: Stop making fun of Trig!
Prime Obsession was published in 2003.
Prime Obsession
Calvin Klein’s new fragrance for the barbecue crowd: Prime Rib Obsession.
The sick part is how Derb seems to delight in his good fortune resulting from Gardner’s bad time. Or what wiley said.
I hate to give a crappy book any notice
I read a lot of reviews by actual mathematicians who liked it. Of the three books that came out that year on the Riemann Hypothesis, sounds like Sabbagh’s focused on personal anecdotes of the mathematicians-are-weird genre, while Derbyshire’s focused on the maths.
It is scary, but if you look back at the union wars, the Civil War, the civil rights battles, Vietnam, McCarthy…just to name a few periods where Americans really had their heads stuff up their asses for a while–the good guys won all of them. I have to hold out hope that the trend continues.
You’re right, and so do I, and so do we all.
Huge. Nerd. Moment. Thanks for giving me a flashback to one of my favorite movies (Star Trek VI), to go with the words of encouragement.
I did not get the new job promotion. Douchebags misinterpret confident competence as an arrogant threat. But I also suspect they have a candidate from outside the company they wanted; its a very crony-oriented company, historically.
Dude, that sucks. Same thing happened to me a few years back. I guess sometimes it’s better to be the dark horse. I have a friend at work who succeeded that way. Patience of a saint.
“Do you not recognize that a turning point has been reached in the affairs of the Federation?”
“History is replete with turning points, Lieutenant. You must have faith.”
“Faith?”
“That the universe will unfold as it should.”
“Is faith logical?”
“Logic? Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris; it is not the end.”
Huge. Nerd. Moment. Thanks for giving me a flashback to one of my favorite movies (Star Trek VI), to go with the words of encouragement.
You know, those are some really good lines. Too bad I never really heard them because I was distracted by Kim Catrall (and not really in a good way).
So thanks for giving me a new perspective. (I knew the words were familiar but I kept trying to place them in Star Wars. Oops, did I say that out loud? Nerd shame!)
“I hate to give a crappy book any notice”
I read it when it first came out, and although I’m not an “actual mathematician” (which is why I read pop-math books in the first place), I found it to be generally interesting and well-written. I honestly didn’t know until today that the author was the same Derbyshire who obsesses over 13-yr old girls. That casts a new and rather disturbing light on the title (13 is a prime number; Derbyshire is obsessed with 13-yr olds; ew,,,).
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/ynews_pl2236
Plagiarizing the debut speech of America’s most famous current politician –
DO THESE PEOPLE NOT THINK AT ALL?!?!?! Groucho Marx made a better politician than this FUCKING CLOWN!!!
Also, LOL, LMAO and ROTFL.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. That kind of “Tea Party.”
What the unholy motherfuck has happened to this country? I remember Reagan emptying out the loony bins, but who told the former patients to run for office?
Jesus. Vampire-Squid. Christ.
Can you be crazier than Rand Paul and win a mojor party nomination?
Yes, yes you can.
Art Robinson Wins the Republican Congressional Nomination in Oregon District 4!
http://www.artrobinsonforcongress.com/
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/link/213602_Presenting_the_GOPs_newest_star-_Arthur_Robinson
A mojor is like a Republican only crazier.
I just read some of candidate Robinson’s shit. He is more of a fundie wack job than a glibertarian, an English speaking Pastor Swank so to speak. Read the article at the first link. Second is 1:50 long video on homeschooling.
“Multiculturalism and Curricula
Difference can be cool. But not when it’s the rule.”
By Dr. Arthur Robinson
http://www.robinsoncurriculum.com/view/rc/s31p1000.htm
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5113157836954184464&hl=en#
Difference can be cool. But not when it’s the rule.
DØ0d. Heh-vey.
Also: Got my mojor working …
Good morning M. Bouffant.
Why am I not surprised. The dood writes for wingnutdaily.
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=108771
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=126706
Do you know who is worse than Hitler?
http://www.newswithviews.com/Robinson/art3.htm
Al Gore has surpassed himself. Having helped to kill tens of millions of helpless African, Asian, and South American children and to sicken hundreds of millions of other people with his support for the ban of DDT, Mr. Gore is now attempting to deprive the survivors in these same countries of energy — life-giving energy that makes possible their meager existences.
thanks not a gator. My expectations are low for the place… I really need a better job.
“May 26, 2010 at 13:58
Do you know who is worse than Hitler?”
Hitler’s evil twin, Chad Hitler?
Hitler’s evil twin, Chad Hitler?
What about the Hitler cousins, Biff and Corey?
Huh?
Huh?
LULZ.
Blaine Hitler
Jeff Hitler
I could do this all day
T&U what typically characterizes KC style sauce?
A pedophile playing keyboard?
Mr. Gore is now attempting to deprive the survivors in these same countries of energy — life-giving energy that makes possible their meager existences.
Don’t worry. I’m sure GOP-backed corporations will get to them before Al Gore does.
Ummmmmmmm, WHAT?
Jesus Christ, when Arthur Robinson is so extreme that he gets reprimanded for being “an idiot” and a bigot by Little Green Footballs… Christ. This is like that time Hitler called the Japanese government after the rape of Nanking to say “hey, I’m all about killing people but seriously, dial it back a little.” (Actual event).
Although, Charles Johnson did distance himself from the so-called “anti-jihadist” brigade by warning it was full of white supremacists last year. Maybe this is him continuing in that direction, though to be honest, I’m still very skeptical of his so-called “conversion.”
“Not content with corrupting and polluting the minds of Wizarding children, last week Professor Burbage wrote an impassioned defense of Mudbloods in the Daily Prophet. Wizards, she says, must accept these thieves of their knowledge and magic. The dwindling of the pure-bloods is, says Professor Burbage, a most desirable condition… She would have us all mate with Muggles… or, no doubt, werewolves.”
She’s so outraged at the invasion of her privacy
well, you know, if she’s not doing anything wrong, she doesn’t have anything to be concerned about, right?
A pedophile playing keyboard?
Ummmmmmmm, WHAT?
I’m guessing you missed the news item earlier this year about KC of KC and the Sunshine Band being arrested for multiple encounters with underage male prostitutes?
KC? Sauce? Get it?
Actually Chris, Charles Johnson has gone full blown John Cole for a while now. I don’t know what happened to him. Maybe he has been replaced by his non-evil twin.
Oy. That makes me sad. I once saw them play at a fair.
For the record, I’ve had both Jennifer Aniston and Martin Gardner.
At the same time.
Off-topic, but is Andy Borowitz at the Huffington Post the least funny humorist since Dennis Miller? Srsly. “Take my wife — please!” “What’s with that airplane food, anyway?”
Actual quote:
Experts Propose Plugging Oil Leak with BP Executives
“We’ve tried containment domes, rubber tires, and even golf balls,” said William Cathermeyer of the National Oil Leakage Institute, a leading consultancy in the field of oil leaks. “Now it’s time to shove some BP executives down there and hope for the best.”
Blar har har har. Golf balls! National Oil Leakage Institute! Comedy gold! Jesus Christ, he’s unfunny.
I just wonder how he gets a gig like that and we scintillating funneh makerz are forced to make cheese from staph infections just to stay alive.
I emailed Derbyshire about his phony blurb, and he wrote back.
I’ve posted his response at http://www.tommyjournal.com/jarch0510.php#26
Maybe you should make changes to the webpage subject Sadly, No! » Dead Men Can’t Talk And Other Pensées to more specific for your blog post you write. I enjoyed the the writing still.