May
8

RFID: The New FluoRIDe




Posted at 20:58 by Tintin
ABOVE: Ed Lasky (seriously)

Let’s whistle up a chorus of Whack-A-Doodle Dandy and march over to The American Thinker and see what the genius crowd of über-patriots over there is up to today. Oh, look! It’s Ed Lasky, the unemployed “investor” from Northbrook and also the News “Editor” of the American Thinker. He’s worked up into a lather about the next big threat from Big Brother government — a device designed to spy on ordinary Americans while they’re taking a dump or picking their noses with crumb-encrusted index fingers.

And that device is . . . (Drum roll please)

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. . . the RFID chip

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That’s right. The RFID chip.

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Now comes one more example: recycling bins with tracking chips to monitor whether people are obeying Big Brother.

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Except when you read the news item quoted you find out that it involves the City of Alexandria, Virginia, putting RFID chips in their own, city-owned recycling bins to keep track of where the fuck the bins are, not to enable satellite spying on teabaggers on their way to KFC for a Double-Down Sandwich.

Now, Ed’s certainly got some significant tin foil action of his own going on here with respect to the diabolical RFID devices, but he’s got nothing on the geniuses in the comment section which, as habitués of the Thinker’s comment sections will already know, is a treasure trove of third-grade spelling errors, looney-toon conspiracy theorists, pimple-faced Randians, and buck-toothed dimwits.

Commenter ked5 sets the bar:

you have now entered the twilight zone.

and lib’s *still* don’t “get it”. Actually, they do, they’re *promulagating it*!

JQAdams works some spy satellite juju into the RFID chips:

And the Liberals get their panties in a bunch over Arizona’s supposed “Paper Please” Law. Nothing like getting a knock on the door from the government. After they were monitoring you via satellite. Asking you about your trash collecting habits. Liberals are “unhinged”

Commenter jmc sees the black visage of the Kenyan socialist behind this chip stuff:

Had enough Hope and Change yet?

And CaptSpaulding gets a whiff of unconstitutional involuntary servitude from the city program and bravely steps up to the plate with a little civil disobedience:

First you pay taxes (most places) for trash pickup or, like us, pay directly to Waste Mgmt. Corp. Then, the municipality orders you to “work” for them by sorting the trash you pay them to pick up? Do I work for the Gov’t? Yes, one could say so. But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash. And, as someone else pointed out, what about my deposits I’ve paid on every container I’ve purchased? They get to keep that, along with my “free” labor, too? Gee, what if the microchip got “accidentally” damaged?

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138 Comments »

  1. Spaghetti Lee said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:04

    Recycling bins are the gas chambers of liberal fascism.

  2. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:06

    We’ve had the same weird from the right wing press in the UK for a while. Something to do with the bins means tyranny!

  3. Andrew said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:20

    Eh, there are legitimate concerns over RFID chips, or rather, some specific applications of them and how they might be (ab)used other than in ways they were intended. Mind you, this is less about subcutaneous implants than it is something like, oh I don’t know, inventory control or bank card security, but I think humans have shown that they cannot think of everything everyone will try to do before deploying a new technology. And furthermore regarding the financial industry, I think they’ve shown repeatedly that they only give a shit about security as far as their profits are concerned.

    It’s sort of that same relationship that the Alex Jones crowd has with the mainstream left—they only superficially share anything remotely in common.

  4. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:22

    No really, this is complete deja vu. The right wing complain about local councils wasting money. The council identifies that getting it’s bins nicked is a waste of money so it puts chips in so they can recover them. Right wing claims this is Big Brother gone mad.

    Are these people born idiots or do they need to work at it?

  5. AG said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:26

    Yeah, I’ve noticed my book on the subject getting cited a lot on wingnut blogs these days. I find it…disturbing.

  6. Snorghagen said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:28

    and lib’s *still* don’t “get it”. Actually, they do, they’re *promulagating it*!

    I do believe I’m gonna saunter on out and do me some promulagating of socialistical doctrine so as to arouse the revolutional instincts of the o-pressed masses

  7. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:33

    Revelation says you won’t be able to buy or sell goods unless there’s an RFID chip in your recycling bin.

  8. N__B said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:48

    Now I’ve got to get an ipad. Put a big “Federal Bin Tracking Service sticker on it, and wander around…

  9. mac said,

    May 8, 2010 at 21:58

    Are these people born idiots or do they need to work at it?

    Yes.

  10. gocart mozart said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:01

    “I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash. And, as someone else pointed out, what about my deposits I’ve paid on every container I’ve purchased? They get to keep that, along with my “free” labor, too? ”

    Excuse me, isn’t it “his” trash and if he wants his nickle deposit back, couldn’t he bring the empties to the recycling center his damn self?

  11. N__B said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:02

    Excuse me, isn’t it “his” trash and if he wants his nickle deposit back, couldn’t he bring the empties to the recycling center his damn self?

    That would entail him not being a lazy moron.

  12. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:02

    Good point Mac. No-one is born that stupid.

  13. Monona Clamthistle said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:04

    I bin out walking after midnight searching for…my lost liberty!
    Is there a market for ‘hot’ used trash bins? I realize in asking the question, I’m answering it as well. Are they expensive? I saw a 13 gallon kitchen trash can made from steel at the Container Store, eighty bux. yeeowch. Do these clowns complain when they go to Best Buy to get the Best Of Anita Bryant ceedee and the clerk scans the chip in the case and guard checks the receipt at the door? Shrinkage, baby! Pilfering control devices. Would CaptSpaulding turn in his momma to the cop hot line after she steals four municipal trash bins to cook crank? I think not.

  14. Pseudonymph said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:04

    Recycling is theft.

  15. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:05

    Recycle bins are theft.

  16. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:05

    Oh crap, I swear Psudonymph’s post wasn’t there.

  17. N__B said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:08

    Oh crap, I swear Psudonymph’s post wasn’t there.

    Nice recycling job.

  18. Pseudonymph said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:12

    OMG, you’re TRACKING MY CHIP, AREN’T YOU????1???

  19. N__B said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:13

    you’re TRACKING MY CHIP

    Veiled snack-food reference.

  20. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:14

    Ceci n’est pas un RFID chip.

  21. Pseudonymph said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:16

    Little do they know that there are RFID chips in all that gold they’re always advertising on Fox too.

  22. Dan Someone said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:16

    I wonder… has anybody asked them about that Iowa GOP Congressional candidate who wants to microchip illegal immigrants? Suppose they’re opposed to that idea too? Or would their brains asplode as they tried to get their minds around it?

  23. Arky said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:17

    Now all we need is for the fRightwing asshat rag to run an article about the fRightwing asshats who got worked up over an article in the fRightwing asshat rag and the circle will be complete.

    Then, the municipality orders you to “work” for them by sorting the trash you pay them to pick up?

    That’s right dang it! ReaLAMEricans should refuse to take out their trash at all. Just shove it into closets n’ stuff. Use it for insulation. Besides, you don’t want any possibly brown people to get their hands on your Patriotrash!

  24. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:20

    Hey, when you hit those little triangles, comical sound happens.

  25. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:22

    Oh, for the love. You know, I could take these pants-poopers* more seriously if they were half as irate about the Bush administration taking a dump* all over Constitutional rights. But they didn’t, so it’s ludicrous that anyone would give a shit* what they have to say.

    *Composed for maximum POOP.

  26. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:23

    *Composed for maximum POOP.

    Pinch me, I’m loafing

  27. wiley said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:25

    I’m not an expert, by any means, but I suspect that satellites don’t track RFID chips. Even if those little chips could send out a signal powerful enough for a satellite to pick up, our satellites are dedicated to more significant things. It’s monster expensive to build, launch, and maintain a satellite. There is something oddly narcissistic about thinking that the government is going to use satellites to track your recycling habits.

  28. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:25

    EVEN WORSE!
    ~

  29. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:27

    There is something oddly narcissistic about thinking that the government is going to use satellites to track your recycling habits being a conservative.

    Fah-ixed for greater universality.

  30. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:29

    Oh come on Truculent. Everyone knows that a right to a trial before a jury of your peers is less important than your bin having a non-intrusive chip in it. Where will this end?

  31. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:34

    I suspect that satellites don’t track RFID chips

    It’s actually bloody hard to use RFID tags for localization, especially on the scale these people are talking about. Passive tags have a range measured in feet. The only way I can think of to use them to keep track of municipal bins would involve somebody driving around trolling for them, or equipping garbage truck drivers with a reader that would enable them to check if a particular bin had been stolen. You’re not going to use your eye-in-the-sky James Bond technology to track an RFID tag, even if it does allow you to sap some wingnut’s precious bodily fluids.

  32. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:35

    Everyone knows that a right to a trial before a jury of your peers is less important than your bin having a non-intrusive chip in it.

    And what would you bangers-and-mash*-eaters know about that? You can’t even call a trash can by the right name!

    For realz, though. I have more respect for the consistently crazy** than the selectively paranoid.

    *Yum.
    **See also: Bell, Art; Unreliable, Truculent A.

  33. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:38

    But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash.

    …well, the main problem would be that they’d have to do it all again to get it right.

  34. Snorghagen said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:41

    I’m not an expert, by any means, but I suspect that satellites don’t track RFID chips.

    Not the satellites from your planet, puny human.

  35. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:42

    But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash.

    …well, the main problem would be that they’d have to do it all again to get it right.

    LOL.

    Seriously, how difficult can it be? Here, we have a bag for bottles and cans, and have to bundle our paper or put it in a paper bag. It goes out on the corner with the trash every week, and it’s no more work than just taking out the garbage. (Unless a certain member of your household drinks 3 six-packs a week and you have to make an extra trip for the glass recycling).

    Shit, when I was a kid, my parents collected our cans and took them to a center 45 MINUTES AWAY and they didn’t bitch and moan nearly as much.

    …apparently I’m all worked up about recycling bin RFIDs.

  36. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:48

    TruculentandUnreliable:

    Trash can?!? Were you brought up or dragged up damnit?

  37. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:48

    ..aerosol paint

    ..big stencil “Cit. of Alex.”

    - problem solved (I’d check into which city politician has a relative selling RFID chips, if I cared)

  38. tigris said,

    May 8, 2010 at 22:51

    But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash.

    20 seconds of Googling informed me that Alexandria is single-stream.

    Interesting PDF on the proposed new bins and the RFID chips.

  39. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:01

    Trash can?!? Were you brought up or dragged up damnit?

    Hey, I grew up along the Oklahoma border. We like to use those flat, hard, nasal a’s as much as possible. Though “bin” does sound much more dignified. Of course, we would call it a “ben.”

    In other news, EVERYONE must go out and get Ted Leo and the Pharmacists’ new record RIGHT NOW. GO!

  40. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:03

    …The residential refuse fee was recommended in the City Manager’s Proposed FY 201 1 Operating Budget to decrease by $4, from $331 per household per year to $327 per household per year due to significant reduction in waste tonnage being collected and delivered to the energy-from-waste facility.

    …It is expected that distributing larger bins to all households would measurably improve the City’s recycling rate, which is currently below its established target.

    Reduce, Reuse, Recycle…(reduce?…nah, bigger bins!!! with chips!!!!)

  41. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:03

    Interesting PDF on the proposed new bins and the RFID chips.

    1. I can’t believe I read that.
    2. You don’t even have to switch to the RFID bins, anyway!

  42. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:04

    TruculentandUnreliable

    Of course, the phrase “taking out the trash” is freaking cool. We say “I’m taking out the rubbish to the bin dear”. You say “I’m taking out the trash” which makes every visit to the bin sound like you are John McLain in Die Hard Two.

  43. Steerpike said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:05

    Relax, RFID chips are only good with GPS salsa.

  44. Citizen_X said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:07

    You know who else had “bin” in their name…

  45. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:08

    You say “I’m taking out the trash” which makes every visit to the bin sound like you are John McLain in Die Hard Two.

    Oh, bless it. This made me laugh. I think this might be the perfect demonstration of the difference between our cultures.

  46. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:09

    You know who else had “bin” in their name…

    zomg CORBIN BERSEN

  47. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:10

    or Bernsen. evso

  48. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:12

    TruculentandUnreliable

    I’m insanely jealous by the way. Insanely.

  49. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:19

    I’m insanely jealous by the way. Insanely.

    Well, you can say “I’m going to take out the trash,” too, if you want to. Sometimes I call underwear “knickers,” and I always spell “grey,” well, “grey,” so why not?

  50. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:24

    Eh, there are legitimate concerns over RFID chips

    There are also legitimate concerns about two guys walking across the road carrying a big sheet of plate glass.

  51. Badger3k said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:30

    The “engineer” probably gets a welfare or disability check – someone that stupid can’t really hold a job, can they – ok, politicians excluded.

    I think “Real Americans” don’t have trash services – they just keep reusing the stuff until it wears off or dissolves into a shapeless jelly. They also keep cars on bricks in their front yards – or so I hear.

    I am disappointed that we haven’t heard the “Mark of the Beast” BS that usually goes along with fruitcakes. There’s still time, though…

  52. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:30

    Well, I’m not sorting my garbage into a bin made of plate glass, I tell you!

  53. tigris said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:37

    There are also legitimate concerns about two guys walking across the road carrying a big sheet of plate glass.

    Sure way for somebody to lose a hubcap, it is.

  54. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:37

    TruculentandUnreliable

    I’d be cheating if I did it. Amusingly the MC at my mates wedding did quote Alan Rickman quoting Alexander the Great. It was blinding.

  55. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:38

    There are also legitimate concerns about two guys walking across the road carrying a big sheet of plate glass.

    That’s why I’m petitioning my senator to introduce the Anti-Two Guys Walking Across the Road Carrying a Big Sheet of Plate Glass Act (ATGWATRCABSOPGA) of 2010. I urge you to join in my efforts to make a difference in Washington.

  56. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:41

    I’d be cheating if I did it.

    You could start slowly. Like, you could start saying “aluminum” correctly. :) (That would be so weird).

    Amusingly the MC at my mates wedding did quote Alan Rickman quoting Alexander the Great.

    I cannot imagine the context in which this would be appropriate at a wedding, but that’s still kind of awesome.

  57. gocart mozart said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:43

    Osama Bin Garbage Lid

  58. Shell Goddamnit said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:48

    EVERYONE must go out and get Ted Leo and the Pharmacists’ new record RIGHT NOW. GO!

    Is this an “entry level” TL&tehP? as I am not previously familiar. The mp3 previews on Amazon didn’t scare me off, at least.

  59. UKBristolDave said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:51

    TruculentandUnreliable

    Aluminum? We didn’t fight two World Wars so someone could tell us how to say words correctly!

    Fat Mark did the whole “Alexander the Great wept at the age of 32″ quote and ended it by saying in a very upbeat way “Dinner is served!” The groom nearly hurt himself laughing as did his drinking buddies. Rest of the room not so impressed.

    The paedo gag the best mans speech at another wedding was the winner mind.

  60. gocart mozart said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:52

    “Ted Leo and the Pharmacists”? Is that a doo wop band?

  61. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 8, 2010 at 23:54

    Is this an “entry level” TL&tehP? as I am not previously familiar

    Hm, I don’t know…it’s my favorite, but “Shake the Sheets” is probably a good introductory record, too. Although “Living with the Living” is also good…I don’t think you can go wrong with any of those records. I’d say “Brutalist Bricks” is a little more punk than their other records, and “Shake the Sheets” is the most explicitly political record of theirs, if that makes a difference.

  62. John Revolta said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:02

    they’re promulagating it!

    Bugger. Now I have to chuck my (gray) knickers in the bin.

  63. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:05

    The paedo gag the best mans speech at another wedding was the winner mind.

    The best man at our wedding made a very lovely gay joke. Now I know it could have been worse…

    “Ted Leo and the Pharmacists”? Is that a doo wop band?

    Heh. No. You wouldn’t happen to be a fan of The Best Show on WFMU, would you?

  64. John Revolta said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:05

    Along with the grey ones, also.

  65. Shell Goddamnit said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:09

    Punk and political both good. Dammit that means I have to make a stinkin decision. Hell and blast.

  66. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:15

    Pretty much all his stuff is political. the new record has a fair amount of political stuff in it. It’s just that “Shake the Sheets” was recorded during the Bush administration, so it’s a little more political. Either one is good, seriously.

  67. UKBristolDave said,

    May 9, 2010 at 0:17

    TruculentandUnreliable

    The paedo gag was hilarious. OK, the only people laughing were the 16 on the two tables at the back that we were spread across. When I say 16 I mean 8 – our partners weren’t impressed either.

  68. Mr. Wonderful said,

    May 9, 2010 at 1:04

    I like this new direction for Tintin, with the sound clips. Sure, it balloons the budget on each post, but it’s all right up there on the screen.

  69. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 1:13

    Now this is a doo wop band!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a6A6oTFdcw

  70. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 1:27

    What do you call it when a private citizen albeit candidate for the POTUS conspires with a foreign enemy against the duly elected government of the United States?
    Will the media care?

    http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/russian-report-1980-october-surprise

  71. Lurking Canadian said,

    May 9, 2010 at 1:59

    It’s important to Look Forward, Not Backward!

  72. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:17

    This fortunately just resigned NJ Judge and budding filmaker is a real peice of work. The trailer hits a new high in low.
    http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/05/nj-judge-resigns-over-his-film-about-obamas-deal-with-the-devil.php?ref=fpb

  73. J— said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:30

    There are also legitimate concerns about two guys walking across the road carrying a big sheet of plate glass.

    I am ever wary of parked fruit trucks.

    Take out the papers and the trash
    Or we’ll put an RFID chip in your ass

  74. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:39

    It’s important to Look Forward, Not Backward!

    “We must move forward not back, move up not forward, and always turning, turning, turning.”

  75. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:44

    (or alternatively, “We must move forward not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling twirling whirling towards freedom.” )

    I like this one better – it must be more accurate

  76. Honus said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:47

    I like how he figured out he makes exactly $54.13 an hour.

  77. vacuumslayer said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:49

    Is there anything the government (under Democrats) does that the Right Wing can’t turn into a masturbatory paranoid fantasy?

  78. ckc (not kc) said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:49

    …he’s earned that $.13 (trash-sorting capability)

  79. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:52

    What do you call it when a private citizen albeit candidate for the POTUS conspires with a foreign enemy against the duly elected government of the United States?

    Don’t know, but it was acceptable in the 80s.

    Will the media care?

    Pshaw. It happened thirty twenty-seven years ago*, which is practically a LIFETIME ago. I mean, it was a whole other century!

    *Fixxored for maximum T&U vanity.

  80. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:53

    *sigh* So many tags! I guess I should be glad I only screwed a couple up.

  81. Arky said,

    May 9, 2010 at 2:55

    Is there anything the government (under Democrats) does that the Right Wing can’t turn into a masturbatory paranoid fantasy?

    Certainly. There’s … Um. There’s …

    No, wait. Actually there isn’t.

    Never mind.

  82. tsam said,

    May 9, 2010 at 3:02

    Excuse me, isn’t it “his” trash and if he wants his nickle deposit back, couldn’t he bring the empties to the recycling center his damn self?

    Not if he wants to avoid the Obama FEMA Socialist RFID ReEducation Camp of Liberal Death. (OFEMASRFIDRECLD’s for short)

  83. J— said,

    May 9, 2010 at 3:10

    Oh my God, it’s everywhere! FlorIDa.

  84. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    May 9, 2010 at 3:36

    I seem to remember a similar bunch of paranoid raving in the 1970s about the RFID of the day – UPC symbols. Did that actually happen?

    Then again, wingnuts are still wigging out about bar codes, aren’t they.

  85. kate said,

    May 9, 2010 at 4:14

    “he only way I can think of to use them to keep track of municipal bins would involve somebody driving around trolling for them, or equipping garbage truck drivers with a reader that would enable them to check if a particular bin had been stolen. You’re not going to use your eye-in-the-sky James Bond technology to track an RFID tag…”

    Well you just ruined my idea of finding an RFID chip and sticking it to my head, just to have something interesting happen around here.

    “But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash.”

    Yeah he’s an engineer, of what? His old H-O train set?

    Anyway, if the city has to pay $54.13 for an engineer trash sorting, how much do they have to pay for a Barney trash sorter? Or a Tom Cruise trash sorter?

    And is that .13 his self employment tax?

    The mind just boggles.

  86. smut clyde said,

    May 9, 2010 at 4:23

    I should bill S,N! the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as a programmer for sorting “their” tags.
    Not like T&U some people.

  87. wiley said,

    May 9, 2010 at 4:26

    Yanno, if you’re an unemployed engineer, and you take a job at McD’s, they’re not going to pay you fifty odd bucks an hour because you’re an engineer. Sorting the recycling is not an engineering feat. Though I must say that it does take some time. When I was supporting myself with housekeeping in college, one of my employers was sure that I would recycle (it had just become a city program) with all my liberal heart. When I told him he needed to decide what task to take off the list, because I spent every minute on the clock accomplishing every job he wanted me to do, he looked shocked. It is a chore, though it isn’t odious or particularly challenging, it takes a little time.

  88. Tyrone Shoelaces said,

    May 9, 2010 at 4:44

    How do you put those little sound doodads on there? What are they called?

  89. Jennifer said,

    May 9, 2010 at 4:44

    Um..time? It takes no time at all. Our recycle program doesn’t require sorting of the plastic, glass and aluminum. On the other hand, because all they’ve given us is a puny little open bin for recycling, and if paper gets wet they won’t collect it, I don’t bother recycling paper. Can’t see the point if I’m just going to have to pick it out when it’s a sodden mess and throw it in the trash anyway. In any case, I just have a recycle can under the sink and all the recycle stuff goes in it. Zero extra time. And I’d guess that over half of the volume of refuse from my house ends up being recycled.

  90. jim said,

    May 9, 2010 at 5:06

    Recycling is the Schmeisser of Liberal Fascism.

    What do you call it when a private citizen albeit candidate for the POTUS conspires with a foreign enemy against the duly elected government of the United States?

    “Morning In America!”

    Hey, citizen – what’s your beef? After all, you got a Kangaroo Commmission just like the ones that “investigated” JFK & 9/11, & by a phenomenal coincidence, all the myriad anomalies that contradicted The Way It Officially Happened™ were found to be optical illusions created by gnomes, leprechauns &/or swamp-gas … & every single one of the eyewitnesses or investigators that refuted TWIOH™ were found to be schizophrenic Satanist kitten-strangling homosexual crackhead socialists … so STFU & get back to your cubicle!

  91. Sheesh said,

    May 9, 2010 at 5:32

    Also, Lee Hamilton was involved in all these Commissions, so, you know, that’s cool.

  92. creature said,

    May 9, 2010 at 5:35

    Perhaps the Georgia State Legislature can help with writing an anti-RFID implantation law, and alter it to include trash bins, as well as the humans it already covers. They have citizens (good, god-fearing, upstanding ones, at that) ready to testify regarding those concerns.

  93. Martian Buddy said,

    May 9, 2010 at 5:47

    Then again, wingnuts are still wigging out about bar codes, aren’t they.

    Also too social security numbers, Dungeons & Dragons, and the secretly-satanic Proctor & Gamble logo.

  94. g said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:06

    Then, the municipality orders you to “work” for them by sorting the trash you pay them to pick up?

    Christ Almighty. He sounds like he thinks the city is harvesting trash or something. What a fucking asshole – they’re providing a service so he doesn’t drown in his own detritus and foul other people’s lives, and he acts like he’s enduring slavery to put the fucking trash in the right bin.

  95. Ecsphoria said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:20

    The Ed Lasky pic is hilarious!

  96. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:25

    I have fucked
    your mum
    while we were in
    your bedroom

    and while
    you were probably
    shopping
    for Mother’s Day

    Forgive me
    she was delicious
    so sweet
    and so old

  97. Judas Peckerwood said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:32

    Wait, I work for the gubmint because I recycle? Sweet! Fed, state, county, city — whichever one I work for here I’m set!

  98. Jennifer said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:39

    I wonder if anyone pointed out to Mr. $54.13 per hour that the rate he’s charged for trash collection is predicated on a “tip fee” – how much it costs to dump a load at the landfill. Cities and localities that don’t recycle have to have much higher tip fees, because their landfills fill up much more quickly – and because these days we actually engineer landfills rather than just throwing our shit anywhere, so as not to pollute our water and what not, opening a new landfill is expensive.

    So doofus is getting “paid” to sort his trash by not being charged 2 or 3 times as much for trash collection. Just like the typical Randian, he seems to consider all of these “externalized costs” to be someone else’s responsibility.

  99. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:45

    Just wait until the Kenyan Usurper installs the fiber detectors in their toilets to monitor their fiber intake.

  100. Arky said,

    May 9, 2010 at 6:47

    Here’s the thing. The only reason to track fReichtards is to carefully pinpoint their coordinates and NOT GO THERE. Unless they start living in recycle bins from Alexandia, Va., no one will give a fuck.

    I seem to remember a similar bunch of paranoid raving in the 1970s about the RFID of the day – UPC symbols. Did that actually happen?

    The only bar code pants wetting I remember was the O Noes, teh Mark of the Beast hysteria (see also, credit cards). And some militia types believe U.N. Black Helicopter New World Order forces will use the bar codes on the back of road signs to navigate when they finally invade.(Something to do with the fact U.N. troops will be driving on the wrong side of the road because they’re all furrin ‘n shit.)

  101. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 9, 2010 at 7:03

    There’s chips in your bunghole
    There’s chips in your bowl.
    The Mark of the beastie is on your soul.

  102. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 9, 2010 at 7:06

    There is something oddly narcissistic about thinking that the government is going to use satellites to track your recycling habits.

    All religious fundamentalism is rooted in narcissism- the whole idea that you are a special god-warrior who has been chosen to witness or even participate in a dramatic eschatological fantasy is narcissism at its worst. Hell, the mere idea that an all-powerful, merciful-yet-vengeful superbeing shares all your prejudices is the height of narcissim.

  103. Matt T. said,

    May 9, 2010 at 8:29

    See, real patriotic Americans would refuse trash bins from the city – ’cause that’d be sucking off the government teat – and buy their own. And when those bins got stolen, they’d happily, nay ecstatically purchase new ones at whatever cost, thus proving the superiority of the free market.

  104. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 8:58

    Boycot socialism, dispose of your own trash.

  105. Haystack Calhoun said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:03

    Weren’t we reading 5 years ago about how RFDs would be everywhere – your jacket, your shoes, your groceries, mainly for (fingerquote)marketing(fingerquote) purposes?

    I don’t remember that very public knowledge perpetrating a tea party.

    NOTE: Three commas in a tight group for you collectors.

  106. wiley said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:37

    I was reading that five years ago, and I remember thinking it was more like sales pap than scientific information—industry was going to be able to track the lives of their products from the manufacturer to the dump, blah, blah, blah. Sell, sell, sell those chips.

  107. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:39

    “Three commas in a tight group for you collectors.”

    That’s what she said.

  108. wiley said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:40

    Actually, I bought a coat once, and it set off the alarm after the plastic doo-hickey was removed. Every time I walked out of the store the alarm went off. So me and my compadre did a search and found an rfid chip under the lining.

  109. gocart mozart said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:50

    wiley said,
    May 9, 2010 at 9:40

    “Actually, I bought a coat once, and it set off the alarm after the plastic doo-hickey was removed. Every time I walked out of the store the alarm went off. So me and my compadre did a search and found an rfid chip under the lining.”

    SEE, you should have recycled.

  110. Start Boopak and the Babykillers said,

    May 9, 2010 at 9:56

    Speaking of trash… has there been an update on Professor George?

    You know, George Rekers of the Luggage Research Council. I read that NARTH (National Association for Rentboys and Therapy of Hookers) is “investigating”, but what about the higher-ups at Focus on the Luggage? Didn’t they foot the bill for his gaycation?

  111. smut clyde said,

    May 9, 2010 at 10:00

    “Three commas in a tight group for you collectors.”
    All the cool kids say “commata” these days.

    Chips in the body, chips in the legs
    Chips in the forehead, chips in the head
    Chips in the body, chips in the legs
    There should never be chips at all
    There should never be chips at all

  112. Haystack Calhoun said,

    May 9, 2010 at 10:00

    The Ed Lasky pic is hilarious!

    Rough draft.

  113. Rutie said,

    May 9, 2010 at 13:23

    Funny. RFID chips were never dangerous when Wal-Mart used them to track the wingnuts’ purchases of Coke, Cheetos, electronics and toilet paper. Yes, Wal-Mart knows that your Coke consumption indicates that you are on track for diabetes–if the heart attack from eating all of those Cheetos in front of your new bigscreen TV or computer doesn’t kill you first. And they also know you shake it dry instead of wiping. And the wingnuts are worried the gubmint will find out they don’t separate their trash correctly….

  114. J— said,

    May 9, 2010 at 13:44

    Go Galt without leaving the comfort of your home! Make your backyard a midden.

  115. Zebbidie said,

    May 9, 2010 at 14:20

    We’ll start saying aluminum as soon as you start saying uranum and plutonum.

  116. Darth Revan said,

    May 9, 2010 at 14:47

    We’ll start saying aluminum as soon as you start saying uranum and plutonum.

    Amen, brother.

  117. kingubu said,

    May 9, 2010 at 14:56

    Funny. RFID chips were never dangerous when Wal-Mart used them to track the wingnuts’ purchases of Coke, Cheetos, electronics and toilet paper.

    A-yup, that’s what’s so hilarious about their half-assed paranoia. You just know that the same dickhead who sees the shadow of INGSOC when his city gubbmit tries to keep track of their trash bins is also tooling around with a GPS-enabled smart phone and pays for absolutely everything with his bank debit card.

  118. Arky said,

    May 9, 2010 at 15:31

    I don’t remember that very public knowledge perpetrating a tea party.

    Oh it was well known among the proto-baggers. Several years ago my company (briefly) ran a publication about RFID. Care to guess one of the biggest challenges for a company that implemented an RFID system?

    .
    .
    .
    .
    Ding! Ding! Ding! Congratulations! Costs associated with repairs because warehouse employees would regularly destroy RFID readers and tags (and anything they thought was a RFID reader or tag) is the correct answer!

    And! You win 10 bonus points for guessing the employees thought the system was being used to track them and/or part of a bigger conspiracy!

  119. lobbey said,

    May 9, 2010 at 15:34

    ……….them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting it…

    Thats one shitty engineer, or is it “engineer”……

  120. lobbey said,

    May 9, 2010 at 15:44

    Seriously, how difficult can it be?

    Even less so than normal folks, if all you have is 200 Mountain Dew bottles, 40 Empty Cheeto bags, and your masturbating tissues. Plastic, plastic and paper, see easy….

  121. Billy Generic said,

    May 9, 2010 at 22:23

    Sweet Baby Jesus!

    Let’s please NOT tell these fucktards that US passports have been equipped with RFID since 2006.

    Wait… they won’t care because these unilingual fuckwads don’t HAVE passports. Who the fuck would want to anywhere that requires a passport? Like they can take the Winnebago to Australia…

    I mean, doesn’t everybody vacation in Branson, Missouri–or does it just seem like it?

  122. Dan Someone said,

    May 9, 2010 at 23:20

    What I find odd about the Alexandria resolution is that, while both the draft and the signed version say in the preamble (paraphrase) “We’re dropping the annual fee from $331 to $327,” the text on the one that was signed then says, in the body of the resolution “So the fee is now $336.”

    Um. Math is hard?

    The implication of the $336, by the way, is that Alexandria elected to go with option #1, “RFID for RFEveryone!,” instead of the “Mo’ Trash, Mo’ Money” optional variant.

  123. Till said,

    May 9, 2010 at 23:25

    I’m in London at the moment, and I hafta say that the RFID-using Oyster card is pretty damn cool. It’s a lot like the NYC subway system, except instead of sliding your card through a flaky magnetic reader, you tap it on a hopefully-somewhat-less-flaky RFID reader.

    Also, I think it would be just as easy for Obama’s Elite Kenyan Revolutionary Guard to track people using plain old MetroCards. It’s all data that can be fed to the Big Computer, regardless of exactly how it was collected.

    Also, CCTV cameras? Kinda strange to see, but meh. I’m with Jeff Jarvis: public is public. If Google and shop owners can do it, why not the police.

  124. tigris said,

    May 10, 2010 at 0:29

    “We’re dropping the annual fee from $331 to $327,” the text on the one that was signed then says, in the body of the resolution “So the fee is now $336.”

    They lowered the fee for the actual service, but a new bin will be $9 on top of the $327.

  125. humbert dinglepencker said,

    May 10, 2010 at 3:09

    The barcode insanity only bubbled up after it was revealed that the two long bars in the b-code represented the number 6. These bars (at the beginning, middle, and end of the b-code) were used to line up the reader and, of course, spelled 666.

    It is best to cut them out of the package, lest Teh Beast getcha.

  126. Brian X said,

    May 10, 2010 at 3:24

    Rutie:

    Are you sure about that? AFAIK this kind of crap has been going on since the very first rollout of RFID technology.

  127. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 4:52

    Do I work for the Gov’t? Yes, one could say so. But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash. And, as someone else pointed out, what about my deposits I’ve paid on every container I’ve purchased? They get to keep that, along with my “free” labor, too? Gee, what if the microchip got “accidentally” damaged?

    This is brilliant. I think I should bill the DMV for all the hours I spend waiting in line on their pleasure.

  128. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 5:09

    We’ve had the same weird from the right wing press in the UK for a while. Something to do with the bins means tyranny!

    Reminds me of that Garth Ennis comic book, THE AUTHORITY: KEV in which Kev is disposing of some dead bodies after a failed attempt on his life and his nosy neighbor starts muttering at him: “Has bin day been changed?” “Well, it’s a sort of special bin day.” “Mrrrm, the council will be hearing about this!” “You get ‘em, Mrs. Mufftoots.” Or something like that.

    Nosy old condo association ladies are the same everywhere. I worked with a woman who lived in one of those wannabe social climber developments and had to deal with HOA trash Nazis because she and her husband both worked for a living so they would put out the trash about six hours early…

  129. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 5:16

    Though “bin” does sound much more dignified. Of course, we would call it a “ben.”

    OMFG! Me too!

    You wouldn’t believe how much trouble I had in German class.

  130. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 5:42

    So doofus is getting “paid” to sort his trash by not being charged 2 or 3 times as much for trash collection. Just like the typical Randian, he seems to consider all of these “externalized costs” to be someone else’s responsibility.

    Well, Jennifer, you’re thinking “like a grownup,” of which this jeanyus clearly is not.

  131. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 5:47

    #

    Zebbidie said,

    May 9, 2010 at 14:20

    We’ll start saying aluminum as soon as you start saying uranum and plutonum.

    I guess it hasn’t occurred to you that aluminum has the same number of syllables as uranium and plutonium as well as the same stress values, providing a pleasant euphony.

  132. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 10, 2010 at 5:56

    Listen people, THERE IS NO “I” IN ALUMIN— oh god damn it never mind.

  133. Andrew said,

    May 10, 2010 at 15:50

    There are also legitimate concerns about two guys walking across the road carrying a big sheet of plate glass.

    Okay, I laughed.

  134. not a gator said,

    May 10, 2010 at 17:21

    Bravo, genius!

    (I love WCW. He was a country GP who did obstetrics so he wrote a number of poems about other women’s vajayjay’s. Your fact for the day.)

  135. putnam said,

    May 10, 2010 at 17:23

    Truculentand Unreliable:

    “Sometimes I call underwear ‘knickers,’”

    Double Fail. A Salon columnist recently explained that the ladies like it when a guy refers to their intimate attire as “panties,” since that’s all diminutive and makes them feel girlie and sexy.

    Anyway, as a libtard, I feel that once a lady takes off her panties, that’s her problem, not mine.

  136. tigris said,

    May 10, 2010 at 17:36

    We’ll start saying aluminum as soon as you start saying uranum and plutonum.

    Also: tantalium, molybdenium, platinium, lanthanium…

    Aloooomium!

  137. J. A. Baker said,

    May 10, 2010 at 18:45

    not to enable satellite spying on teabaggers on their way to KFC for a Double-Down Sandwich.

    Man, the Double Down is sooooo April 2010. To be a real Teabagger in Good Standing™, you’ve got to eat an Elvis Double-Down.

    That’s right. A Double-Down inside a peanut butter and banana sandwich!

    I can feel my arteries clogging just thinking about it.

  138. brantl said,

    May 11, 2010 at 15:08

    $54.13 and hour, and this asshole doesn’t know enough to take his empties back to the store. Supid, lazy and overpaid.

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