STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING

… this is the most important question of all time. What is the sexiest accent if you are:

a. a straight female
b. a gay female
c. a bisexual male
d. a gay male
e. a bisexual female
f. a straight male
g. a person who likes fish

I know my vote. But I wait for yours.

PS It is not Australian

 

Comments: 643

 
 
 

okay fuck it …

a. I don’t know
b. I don’t know
c. I don’t know … or do I?
d. I don’t know
e. I don’t know
f. Brazilian
g. Brazilian

 
 

a. a straight female – southern US
b. a gay female – British
c. a bisexual male – Spanish / Brazilian
d. a gay male – British again
e. a bisexual female – Russian
f. a straight male – French I guess?
g. a person who likes fish – cockney

 
 

But that girl who plays “Claire” on Lost makes a great argument for a New Zealand accent. Then again, she could sound like Bea Arthur and I wouldn’t care.

OK, actually I would care. That would be disturbing.

But she is a fine and finely chiseled kind of fine.

 
 

Mmm … ah wish ah was in Dixie, hoo-rah hoo-rah!

 
 

See, I love everything about Claire but the accent …

 
 

Wait, I’m confused… Do you mean:

a) State which of these categories you fall into and then state which accent is sexiest. (I’m a bisexual male, and I’d nominate West African for men and Russian for women.)

OR…

b) Which accent do you believe the average representative of each of these categories would find sexiest? (I have no idea, since I’m only one of them.)

OR…

c) Which accent would be the sexiest when spoken by a person from each of these categories? (Urm… now I’m confused.)

 
 

DexX – a) is the one. We can only speak from our own experience.

 
 

a. a bisexual female procyonid.
b. a female procyonid.
c. a bisexual female.
d. a straight female – southern US.
e. a straight procyonid that likes fish.

 
rufusxaviersarsaparilla
 

i don’t know about the rest, but “g” is totally John Cleese.

hmmm.

maybe the rest are John Cleese as well.

 
 

b. Slavic or Arabic.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

Speaking strictly for heterosexual fossil fish like myself, I think women with Scottish accents are teh hot.

 
 

rufusxaviersarsaparilla – well played. But did you forget that in ‘g. a person who likes fish’ … the antecedent ‘tacos’ is understood? Does that change you vote?

It shouldn’t.

 
 

For G, Scottish, definitely. Especially one who was a wide boy, born with the Heart of Lothian.

 
 

As for my straight-dudey self…hm…gotta go with French, sorry fer bein’ so dull.

 
 

(straight male)

Russian for me! Italian is a close second.

 
 

ALL categories: Sylvia Poggioli.

 
 

I already know about the Aussie accent. I rather like a Scottish brogue, I guess. Anything ‘Southern’ pretty much creeps me out.

 
 

Straight dude here; I gotta go with either British or Irish.

At which point I question myself as to whether I am engaging in exoticization of women in other countries.

 
 

whatever Audrey Hepburn is

 
 

Bueno! Tout de suite, ah’m no ginnae argue with yer choices, sahibs! Prego! Nostrovya!

 
 

Me, I’m partial to the particular lilt the lassies have away over in the next valley.

 
 

whatever Audrey Hepburn is

Buried?

 
 

also as straight male, I have to say that the hottest accent would be: A Japanese girl with a Cambridge accent.

Is that too narrow?

How about Brazilian?

 
 

That Minnesota “yooper” thing like in Fargo. That’s hot.

 
 

Or Rosalind Russell.

 
 

ya, ahv course, vat, don you know dot hongarians make de best saxy voices, better dan de styoopid smiley face hov a nice day americans who don know vot is having a crappy communist styoopid gahverment dot is making everybody so poor ve don hov nahthing to do but fok all de time, ya

 
 

Or Rosalind Russel reciting the Epic of Gilgamesh in a Jamaican accent!

 
 

And doing so with really stupid typos!

 
 

can I change mine to Hungarian?

 
 

Straight male here: whatever Ofeibea Quist-Arcton is, reporting from Dahkaaaaaah

‘Scuse me, you’ll find me in my bunk.

 
 

a) French
b), etc. Who cares?

 
 

Oh, and I’d expect fish-lovers to especially like the Norwegian lilt, not to mention the lutefisk breath.

 
 

Perhaps Audrey Hepburn’s accent was a little bit of Dutch? She grew up in the Netherlands at least.

Dutch women in general are also another brand of fine. Mmmmmm.

 
 

I’m Australian and i vote for me.

 
 

I wonder why no one has nominated Canadian in any category.

 
 

a. a straight female …Welsh
b. a gay female …Brooklyn
c. a bisexual male …Canadian Maritimes
d. a gay male …Iowa
e. a bisexual female …Scottish Highland
f. a straight male …New Zealand
g. a person who likes fish …Old San Francisco

 
 

Bi Female here. I’d have to go with Irish. Or Greek.

 
 

Me personally, nothing against Canadians. I just don’t find their accent that detectable.

 
 

“whatever Audrey Hepburn is

Buried?”

Ah, sorry. In our country we have invented some marvellous things, including something we call the “voice recording”. So our dead people can talk to us, almost as though they were alive! The wonders of science, hey?

 
 

f) Hitler.

Wait. What?

 
 

b. a gay female

Japanese spoken with a Hiroshima accent.

TAKE THAT!

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

a. Aka-Bo
b. Kamassian
c. Tillamook
d. Coahuilteco
e. Arwi
f. Yola
g. McDonaldland

 
 

I think they all sound better in Italian.

 
 

Hungarian spoken with a lilting Brazilian Portuguese accent, by an Mumbaiian-Jamaican immigrant from Peru (female).

Wait, what was the question?

 
 

f.) pretty much any European accent is sexy to me: Irish, Brit, Scot, Welsh, German, Austrian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Russian, Slavic.

I’m an accent slut.

.

 
 

f. French

and for those that commented on a Scottish female accent being sexy, please, sort yourselves out…..

 
 

I wonder why no one has nominated Canadian in any category.

actually, Canucks would come a close 2nd, particularly that east coast Canadian, with a slight Irish lilt…

 
Gabriel Ratchet
 

Personally, and speaking as a heterosexual male, I’d have to say that while it’s not an accent per se, I’m a sucker for any woman with one of those Lauren Bacall-ish whiskey-and-cigarette voices, while on the other hand, one of those Lawnguyland/New Jersey accents that sound like a band saw cutting through sheet aluminum are an instant turnoff.

 
 

F. Polish

A, B, C: Polish

D, E, etc.: Brazilian

 
 

Just to add: At my most metrosexual, I love to hear Brazilians speak Portuguese, but when they speak English, not so much. But when a native Pole speaks English, it’s like some kind of freaky poetry where I expect the sun to shine, and rainbows to trail across the sky, and then I get laid. No lack of actually getting laid can diminish my enthusiasm for a solid Polish accent. It is a thing of pure, unadulterated beauty.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“sort yourselves out”

Veiled PENIS reference, wot wot?

 
 

f) Russian or French. Tied.

 
 

What, no love for Icelandic?

For me I’m kinda partial to straight ‘ol midwestern English. Like what Mike Malone speaks. In fact, he doesn’t have to speak at all. I got a dirty job for him alright.

 
 

a.) Wall st. fund mgrs.
b.) Oberlin farm mkt. clerks
c.) Cape Town club bartenders
d.) Franciscan Dwell mag subscribers
e.) Madrilenos
f.) St. Petersburghers
g.) Olympic peninsula treehouse living hippy chicks

 
 

Hellooooo! I am an adorable Polish person, you are speaking to me on the Internet. Let’s have some fun!

The Brazilians are struggling with their Bizarro anarcho-socialist-fascist economy, and the Russians are poor as dirt. But you and I can have fun online in a growing economy as long as the current regime holds out. Snuggle me!

I cannot tell the difference between an Irishman, a Canadian, a Yankee, and, hell, a Dutchman! Do you like me? Let’s have some fun at 2,99 credits a minute! Cheap at half the price.

 
 

Ball gag.

 
 

justme said,

Ball gag.

I see what you did there.

 
Haystack Calhoun
 

Swedish across the board.

 
 

My hovercraft is full of eels.

 
 

Speaking as a bi female. Russian, Hindi, and Tagalog, in that order, from females. From males, I gotta go with English. (So predictable, I know.)

I once dated a hell beast for three weeks because I loved to listen to her talk about her family, Cambodian women’s names are fabulous with a Khmer accent. But I’ll listen to anything from someone with shapely clavicles.

 
Just Alison, back from the semi-dead
 

PS It is not Australian

Oi, matey, watch wotcher say there.

For whoever posted the link to that discussion about how the Strine accent is ass, the numbered points were mostly accurate, although here in the south we can open our teeth. But the part about dropping consonants wholesale, and eliding the intervening vowels into one long vowel movement is pretty spot on (although I generally do articulate somewhat).

Sexy: Welsh, Irish, Scottish, Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese, Italian, Hungarian, Polish, Swedish, Russian, and so on and so forth for several paragraphs. It’s not so much the accent, in fact, as the tone: any voice that has a rich, warm tone is automatically sexy, while any voice that screeches, honks through the nose, or warbles about is automatically not.

I’ve been entirely seduced by the voice alone, in a couple of instances (to my dismay, in at least one instance, but that’s another story). I respond well to audible cues, I think is the technical way of saying it (not, as Kaz Cooke puts it, that I will “sleep with anyone who asks nicely in a Scottish accent”).

 
 

Also: I was considering saying Canadian, but I’ve been watching Red Green DVDs for days here, so, you know. David Suzuki I’d totally do. Steve Smith, not so much. Although along those lines, I’d probably fall all over myself for Carlo Rota’s TV Lebanese accent.

Honestly, mixed ethnicity, parentage, and upbringing produces some stunningly sexy people with stunningly sexy voices.

 
 

Veiled PENIS reference, wot wot?

I think you are seeing veiled penis references where there are none….., however, to help straighten you out…..

Fwarrrrrrrr

 
 

a.-f.: Synthetic robot voice reciting an endless list of random numbers.
g: Waitress saying “Here’s your fish!”

 
 

a. southeastern US
b. French
c. Swedish
d. British
e. Spanish
f. Cuban
g. Minnesotan

 
 

A) Light New York
B) Southern
C) British
D) Light Californian
E) Australian
F) Light Indian
G) Pantomime

(“Light” being used as the antonym of “heavy”.)

 
 

A) American
B) American
C) American
D) American
E) American
F) Cocktail Sauce

Buncha furrin-lovers. Y’unz err Commies

 
 

f. Welsh. Cerys Matthews’ accent makes otherwise unremarkable songs by her band Catatonia listenable.
f(a). Whatever the accent of the narrator of the Cisco commercials is. The ones with Ellen Page.

 
 

f: Scottish or Irish. Low as possible.

Extra credit: the answer to all of them is “Andrea Thompson”

 
The Parish Priest
 

a. ?
b. ?
c. altar boy
d. altar boy
e. ?
f. ?
g. sea lion

 
 

A straight female: movie star accent.

As in George Clooney or Gregory Peck or Russell Crowe. Nationality is irrelevant. Deep voices. I once listened to a Time-Life book salesman for thirty minutes, unable to say no. Or anything except “oh” and “un-huh”.

 
 

Could not possibly comment across the board… but a sexy woman with a Northern Ireland accent is pretty much the seduction slam-dunk.

 
 

a. Don’t know, probably French
b. Bostonian
c. German?
d. German?
e. Klingon
f. Irish
g. Macaton sign-language with a slight crook of the index finger. Oh.

As an Australian, I can confess that it is part of our immigration policy to maintain a harsh national tongue. ‘Nice place to visit, but my ears would shatter after while if I lived there..’

Of Julia Gillard’s (deputy PM) accent, it has been said that she can strip enamel off a fridge door from nine yards. But boy is she hot.

 
 

a. a straight female- US Southeast or British
b. a gay female- Heavy Midwestern or Sarah Palin
c. a bisexual male- Eurotrash
d. a gay male- Japanese
e. a bisexual female- Eurotrash
f. a straight male- Black Guy
g. a person who likes fish- My Grandfather (Heavy New England)

 
Nosfer-Blart-Two
 

a. a straight female => Klingon
b. a gay female => Tellurite
c. a bisexual male => Romulan
d. a gay male => Nausiccan
e. a bisexual female => Gorn
f. a straight male => Orion
g. a person who likes fish => Vulcan

 
 

anyone who asks nicely in a Scottish accent
Offer does not include Glaswegian, which is not so much an accent as a succession of glottal stops.

 
Nosfer-Blart-Two
 

dagnab you exford!

 
 

Pittsburghese.

“I pledge allsegiance to da flag anna United States of America. And to da republic fer which it stands, one nation under Gawd, indivisible, wit liberty and jestice fer alls.”

OK. I have to leave now.

 
 

a succession of glottal stops

Good for the flautists.

Speaking as a straight male, (f) any romance language in the contralto range.

 
 

a: luv me some highlander

 
 

For the straight male category, I would have to narrow it down to Russian or Neko Case.

 
 

f. British (specifically the dialect of Emma Watson, not that this choice has anything necessarily to do with Emma Watson, but sounds just like Emma Watson with that cheery lilt and sassy retort, and….perhaps I’ve overshared)

 
 

As a gay male, the hottest voice I have ever heard on anyone was a New Zealander. I don’t usually fall for accents, but his just made me melt. It was actually quite awkward since he was straight and we couldn’t have a conversation without his voice getting me worked up. Finally we just started texting each other.

 
 

d) Australian

 
 

If you going to be like that about Australians, we’re just going to take Anthony LaPaglia back. And Nicole Kidman. And Hugh Jackman. And Mel Gibson.

No, you can keep Mel Gibson….and Nicole. We’ve already got a better one.

 
 

Guess I qualify for f. girl w/ midwest/Rocky Mountain accent (ala the creaturette) and g. Japanese (slight, like a well-educated ex-pat or sushi shop employee). Did like the recognition of Pittsbugese as a stand-alone dialect. I’m not a Pittsburger, but I knew quite a few. Wessagynyon (West Virginian) is amother unique language that is both annoyinmg and captivating at the same time. Grow up in northeast Ohio, like I did, and you get to sample copious amounts of both. The experience provides even more reasons to roam the planet, seeking solace. An overall accent, eastern European- Hungarian, Polish, Albanian, etc. Or maybe middle-eastern, like, Lebanese, Arabic-types, Farsi, Hebrew, you know, exotic.

 
 

Anything but that godawful twang that Palin speaks with.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Boobs

 
 

Major Kong said,

April 21, 2010 at 14:02 (kill)

Anything but that godawful twang that Palin speaks with.

Rusty Shackleford said,

April 21, 2010 at 14:07 (kill)

Boobs

Palin speaks “boob.”

 
 

snuck in by a whole three minutes, Nosfer-Blart-Two.. ‘I don’t speak Baatchi..’

 
 

I will admit to a fondness for Pittsburghese (Go Stillers!). Otherwise, African all the way down.

And yes, that is a regional bias. Ah, to have been alive to hear the Egyptian of my youth: the purr of the slaves as they announced breakfast was enough to put an extra bounce in your step for the rest of the day…

 
 

Brooklen. Gotta problem widdat, hah?

 
 

Oh, from personal experience?

f) Silence. Her mouth should be full for me to pay attention.

 
 

a. a straight female – Arianna Huffington
b. a gay female – My GPS voice
c. a bisexual male – Eddie Izzard pretending to be french
d. a gay male – James Earl Jones
e. a bisexual female – Lucy Lawless
f. a straight male – Arianna Huffington
g. a person who likes fish – Golem

 
 

I gotta go with “New England” because that’s what my wife has… (NH native)

 
 

Yins wanna git some burrs and watch the Stillers?

 
 

Straight Male: Italian or Portuguese.

 
 

For all of the females: Whatever Isabella Rosselini’s accent is.

For the males: Eh,who cares?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m a panaccentual, although I seem to find a lot of UKaians of various extractions attractive.

I really, really, REALLY can’t stand Okie accents, though. I hate my own kind.

 
 

I gotta go with “New England” because that’s what my wife has…

Ditto, only Vermont.

Ayup.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ew, also, Philly accents. And most Texas accents.

 
 

Whatever Isabella Rosselini’s accent is.

As I said above, romance language in the contralto range.

 
 

because that’s what my wife has…

Mrs. __B has the Russian thing going on, which is nice except that part of my so-called brain keeps trying to fill in the missing articles.

 
 

For this straight male, have to go with English accents.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You guys are sweet. My husband makes fun of me for saying “crown” instead of “crayon” and calling soda “pop.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That said, I really don’t do that anymore. Because it does sound kind of ignorant.

 
 

You guys are sweet.

You must be new here.

 
 

Mrs. __B has the Russian thing going on, which is nice except that part of my so-called brain keeps trying to fill in the missing articles.

It’s a Handy Accent for Knowing Which Words to Capitalize In a Title.

 
 

It’s a Handy Accent

It’s good for all sorts of things. When we check into a hotel, we decide who will go to the registration desk by debating which story will get more traction: American entrepreneur with his mail-order bride, or Russian aristocrat with her trained bear.

 
 

Straight male here, casting a vote for Middle Eastern accents. Beautiful languages, beautiful people.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

How did I forget Mr. T&U’s bossy fake German accent??? How???

 
 

a. a straight female – Sarah Palin
b. a gay female – Sarah Palin
c. a bisexual male – Sarah Palin
d. a gay male – Sarah Palin
e. a bisexual female – Sarah Palin
f. a straight male – Sarah Palin
g. a person who likes fish – Sarah Palin

 
 

For this straight male, the sound of a Belgrade-born Serb female wrapping her tongue around American English is quite arousing. I don’t know why I find it so fascinating, since it’s not really musical. It puts me in the mind of sex.

Most annoying accent is a tie between Wisconsin/Minnesota/Alaska. Sheesh, nothing like a Palin-esque twang to soft-boil a hard-on.

 
 

…the sound of a Belgrade-born Serb female wrapping her tongue around American English is quite arousing…

Thinly veiled BJ reference.

 
 

Yins wanna git some burrs and watch the Stillers?

I see you’ve met my relatives.

 
 

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

April 21, 2010 at 11:50

Your mom’s.

Really? So, ‘DANIEL HORATIO RIEHL! YOU CLEAN UP YOUR BASEMENT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!’ … must really turn you on.

 
 

They like me, they really like me…

 
 

They like me, they really like me…filleted, dipped in beer batter, and deep fried.

Fixtipated.

 
 

B. British spoken like Elizabeth Hurley.

 
 

I vote for women with German accents. Seriously.

Or Irish.

 
 

Belgrade-born Serb female wrapping her tongue around American

INTEREST!

Website? Newsletter?

 
 

Let’s see here …

a. a straight female — No clue
b. a gay female — No clue
c. a bisexual male — No clue
d. a gay male — No clue
e. a bisexual female — No clue
f. a straight male — I’m a big, big fan of the Russian accent, followed by Brazilian.
g. a person who likes fish — See “f” above.

 
 

God damn it, at websites people post stuff and don’t wait for me before they do.

 
 

Vogon, but only while reading poetry.

 
 

Latin, soprano, slight lisp
Lowland Georgia, husky contralto
BBC English,tenor
Whatever George Takei has
Tidewater, alto
German, basso
Talks like a pirate

 
 

People like fish?

I love putting food on his family.

And French, but willing to be won over by the dedicated wooing of the otherly accented.

 
 

DA,

Were you watching “A Fish Called Wanda” this weekend or something?

 
 

I’m confused. So many votes for Brazilian, but “Brazilian” is not a language; and no votes for Portugese, which is the language of the Brazilians. So, apparently, Brazilians speaking English with any kind of accent are tres sexy. What about the German Brazilians?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This sweet lilting voice is all I need.

Dude, I don’t have sound and I still want to stab my eardrums.

 
 

f. a straight male: South African…which is a bit different from British…

 
 

I’m confused. So many votes for Brazilian, but “Brazilian” is not a language

So American and Canadian are not accents?

 
 

South African…which is a bit different from British…

I always thought it sounded more Dutch than anything else.

 
 

So many votes for Brazilian, but “Brazilian” is not a language;

But it is an accent, just like the regional American ones some insane people have mentioned.

 
 

That’s what I get for going to fish’s place. Sneaky fishy.

 
 

This sweet lilting voice is all I need.

Those mangoes. They are not plump and sweet.

 
 

Shit…did I get this backward? Anyway, I meant I’m a straight male and women with a South African accent…I met a couple of them in Florence Italy and their accents were teh hot.

 
 

I’m partial to the NYU gurls that sound like ducks quacking.

 
 

But it is an accent, just like the regional American ones some insane people have mentioned.

Now hang on…a Southern blonde with big hooters wearing Daisy Dukes and speaking like she’s from Clam Holler, Alabama is pretty hot! Think Ellie Mae from The Beverly Hillbillies.

 
 

Think Ellie Mae from The Beverly Hillbillies.

NO.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

f. a straight male: South African…which is a bit different from British…

I always thought it sounded more Dutch than anything else.

Yeah, I’m not sure there’s such a thing as a universal South African accent, anyway. Most white and coloured people speak Afrikaans, which is related to Dutch, and would be the source of Charlize Theron’s accent.

 
 

All of above except “g”: San Leandro, but wouldn’t mind East Oakland
g: Sinaloa, preferably southern.

 
 

Two words – Fran Drescher

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

People never say that Midwestern accents are sexy. Where’s the love???

 
 

I always thought it sounded more Dutch than anything else.

Humm, I didn’t hear it that way. I have Dutch friends and I find their English to be pretty close to having a generic American accent. But they have been living here awhile, so they may not be the best reference points…

 
 

‘DANIEL HORATIO RIEHL! YOU CLEAN UP YOUR BASEMENT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!’

Sorry for the delay in replying, I was busy taking care of something in my bunk.

 
 

Offer does not include Glaswegian, which is not so much an accent as a succession of glottal stops.

watch it……

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Offer does not include Glaswegian, which is not so much an accent as a succession of glottal stops.

watch it……

Glaswegian accents are awesome!

Then again, I love the Welsh, which seems to be an unpopular opinion around here.

 
 

Aristophanes, how about the banana-wielding God botherer’s voice in the previous post?

 
 

People never say that Midwestern accents are sexy. Where’s the love???

People tell me I have a Midwestern accent and think my voice is sexy. Not sure what you’re problem is. Most newscasters and radio DJs train for years to get that accent and are considered pretty sexy. Maybe that’s the problem: it’s so ubiquitous that most people don’t even notice it.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I piously proclaim that my principles forbid me from discriminating on the basis of ethnicity.

I make these kinds of decisions on looks alone.

 
 

Vogon, but only while reading poetry.

I giggled about 42 times …

 
 

I have Dutch friends and I find their English to be pretty close to having a generic American accent

South African is a pretty unique accent, to be sure, but it’s the tight vowel sounds and some of the vocal stops that make me think Dutch. Dutch is more lingual than Afrikaans, to be sure (in all senses of the word ;-). It’s a pretty wet tongue), but I hear a lot of Dutch in Afrikaans.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Maybe that’s the problem: it’s so ubiquitous that most people don’t even notice it.

I know. That was supposed to be the joke, but apparently I suck at jokes.

 
 

I love the Welsh

I would, too, if I didn’t have to wear goggles to talk with one.

 
 

not knowing all your nationalities makes it difficult, but it does seem that we all like ‘teh other’ accent. Growing up in Scotland, it is absolutely beyond me that anyone could think a female Scottish accent is sexy. Same, but even more so for Northern Irish.

But looking at it the other way, very few mentions of US accents above, but after French, I find female N American accents sexy. 2nd, Canadian with a hint of Irish, 3rd, deep southern belle & 4th that drawly mid west accent. I dated a girl from the latter place way back in the day and even her ordering a beer made me want to drag her home….

anyway.. where was I, ….. oh yes, PENIS…… POOP………

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I love the Welsh

I would, too, if I didn’t have to wear goggles to talk with one.

Hey, that’s not just a Welsh problem. There’s a reason why I only talk to my grandfather on the phone, and he’s USAian.

& 4th that drawly mid west accent. I dated a girl from the latter place way back in the day and even her ordering a beer made me want to drag her home….

Ah, there’s the love!

 
 

As a challenge to the Scots haters here, I offer the following four words to ye:

Catherine McCormack in Braveheart.

 
 

I find female N American accents sexy

One reason I enjoy travelling to England as much as I do is the amount of….companionship…that comes my way because I speak with an American accent.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

One reason I enjoy travelling to England as much as I do is the amount of….companionship…that comes my way because I speak with an American accent.

This reminds me of my friends who went to Ireland when they were in high school and the Irish ladies were all up in their jocks. Apparently, “You’re so tall!” was the most common statement they heard. Honestly, none of those dudes are attractive at all, and most certainly weren’t at the awkward age of 17.

 
 

Late to the party as usual. *hmf*

Personally I find Aussie accents very intriguing – on a woman, anyway. Steve Irwinism, not so much.

Or London English.

Maybe Japanese as well.

(and I admit to an unfortunate fetish for Long Island accents from JAPpy girls… too long a time in SeTAWWWket I guess)

 
 

too long a time in SeTAWWWket I guess

You know why they call it Suffolk County, right?

Cuz it’s Suffolking far owt dare!

 
 

Cuz it’s Suffolking far owt dare!

Don’t forget to tip the veal and try your waitress, folks.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Boring straight guy here, and I have a tough time picking a favorite. The short list would include West Indian, East Indian, Slovakian, Thai, and French / French Swiss.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“Growing up in Scotland, it is absolutely beyond me that anyone could think a female Scottish accent is sexy”

Yeah, it’s definitely a function of the what the ear is familiar with, innit? I grew up in Texas and the Southwest US; after eight years of Bush’s accent, everybody from Texas sounds like an idiot to me. Midwestern (U.S.) accents sound flat and nasal, while the best Scottish accents (Falkirk?) seem lilting, rich and warm as melted butter in my ear. Mmmmm, butter.

 
 

If all those apply to you, you’re probably way too bizzAY to notice trifles like accents.

I’m partial to Irish & Slavic accents myself — either one makes a lady’s voice all smoky & lilty & broguey, a combination which invariably causes me to rapidly descend into Swoon County.

But one of the sexiest accents I ever heard on a girl was Portugese … & many years later I thought for sure I was hearing it again from my History prof (who it so happens was also a stone fox with the lid off) – she is/was Polish.

Charles Freakin’ Berlitz I am not.

 
 

f. Irish. Even better with a hint of Norwegian (oh Molly I miss you)

 
 

a stone fox with the lid off

What an odd saying.

 
 

Portuguese has the zh of Eastern Europe. Always somewhat baffling when I hear it at first.

 
 

I can’t say that grunting carries an acccent.

 
 

Portuguese has the zh of Eastern Europe.

Much more fun than the lithp of cathtillian thpanith.

 
 

Also, I can’t believe either of youse guys is from the Burgh.

 
 

I can’t say that grunting carries an acccent.

No but accents can carry a grudge.

 
No-Visible-Means
 

also a stone fox with the lid off

Must not be a Joe Cocker fan.

 
 

For all: Wisconsin-ish Alaskan

 
 

I _still_ can’t listen to Joe Cocker without picturing John Belushi and laughing a little bit.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Heh… Margaret Dumont. Good one.

 
 

I _still_ can’t listen to Joe Cocker without picturing John Belushi and laughing a little bit.

It’s only been 35 years. Give it a little time.

 
 

This sweet lilting voice is all I need.

Not wanting it at all. NO.

Take it back and put it where you found it. Right now!

 
 

Also, I can’t believe either of youse guys is from the Burgh.

My family is from Mercer County. Up the road a little ways.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I _still_ can’t listen to Joe Cocker without picturing John Belushi and laughing a little bit.

What does that guy in the COLLEGE sweatshirt have to do with dogs?

 
The Goddamn Batman Does Not Drink, But He Does Have Alfred Mix A Martini Once In A While, Just So That He Can Smell It
 

Damnit, I miss all the best drunkblogging.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Straight female here, who would listen to James Earl Jones read the telephone book…

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Don’t ask me why, but that just reduces me to gales of helpless giggles…

 
 

As you are a youngun, T&U, I think that might be a real question. Is it? Belushi very famously aped Cocker during his SNL performance, standing behind Cocker and doing an exaggerated version of Cocker’s contortions. All this as though JC didn’t know he was doing it. It was fucking hysterical.

 
 

South African is pretty good. Almost any accent except Scandinavian or Dutch I guess. French is meh too.

 
 

As you are a youngun, T&U, I think that might be a real question. Is it? Belushi very famously aped Cocker during his SNL performance, standing behind Cocker and doing an exaggerated version of Cocker’s contortions.

Belushi was holding an open beer can and attempting to drink form it as he sang, but his exaggerated spasms resulted in the beer being poured down his shirt. Alcohol abuse at its worst.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

As you are a youngun, T&U, I think that might be a real question. Is it? Belushi very famously aped Cocker during his SNL performance, standing behind Cocker and doing an exaggerated version of Cocker’s contortions. All this as though JC didn’t know he was doing it. It was fucking hysterical.

Oh, I know who both of those guys are, but I didn’t know about this. I don’t know if it has to do with my age (although it did happen 7 or 8 years before I was born) or cultural ignorance. It’s pretty brilliant, though.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, wait. Less than 7 or 8 years. This was, what? 1975 or 76? I’m not *that* young.

 
 

Heh heh. …Cocker’s contortions… Heh.

 
 

1975 – the first half of the first season of SNL. When, you know, it was funny.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

1975 – the first half of the first season of SNL. When, you know, it was funny.

Okay, only 5 years.

SNL was funny???

 
 

I’m not *that* young.

Priests everywhere just sighed.

 
 

Looks like I misremembered it slightly. Hey, I was in college (so this was probably ’76 maybe 77) and since it was a Saturday night, almost certainly under the influence of at least two or three chemical enhancemenets.

 
 

1975 – the first half of the first season of SNL. When, you know, it was funny.

And Jim Henson was an adult

 
 

This was, what? 1975 or 76? I’m not *that* young.

Yes you are.

 
 

SNL was funny???

Sadly, yes.

 
 

SNL was funny???

Exceptionally so. I was watching the “Puppy Uppers” commercial just the other day. And “Spud”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This was, what? 1975 or 76? I’m not *that* young.

Yes you are.

Sure, but I’m not 25.

I won’t tell you how old my parents were in 1975…

 
 

I won’t tell you how old my parents were in 1975…

It’s a well-established fact that midwesterners – and “Real Americans” in general – breed like rabbits.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

SNL was funny???

Exceptionally so. I was watching the “Puppy Uppers” commercial just the other day. And “Spud”.

Goddamn, the cast was so good. And I think the 90s were much better than the past decade, and they weren’t that great. Except for Phil Hartman. *sob*

 
 

Took my brother to see Buddy Guy for his 21st and Cocker was the opening act. Had good seats and spent half of his set yelling PLAY THE WONDER YEARS SONG! during the breaks. Yeah, we were dicks.

 
 

I won’t tell you how old my parents were in 1975…

Does your mom still have my socks? I left them in her car…

 
 

I also can’t help noticing that the Pacific Northwest American accent is sadly underrepresented in teh sexxay. This could explain my lifetime batting average.

OTOH, it was a South African woman who brought me closest to being unfaithful and that accent was a big part of it. “Bliksem, donner, moer!” turned my knees to water every time.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s a well-established fact that midwesterners – and “Real Americans” in general – breed like rabbits.

I’m friends with a couple of people I went to high school with on Facebook, and they have kids who are 7 or 8 years old. My cousin has three kids–the oldest is 10–and she’s 29. (She also had a *ahem* shotgun wedding).

 
 

The whole “Poets in Prison” sketch was amazing.

“Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see,
Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see
If I kill all the whiteys I see
Then whitey he won’t bother me
Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see”

Finishing with the first appearance of a young comic named Eddie Murphy

“Dark and dusty through the night,
kill my lan’lord, kill my lan’lord
See the big dog – do he bite?
kill my lan’lord, kill my lan’lord…

 
 

SNL was funny???

Save the livers!

 
 

I’m friends with a couple of people I went to high school with on Facebook

You went to high school on Facebook? I feel so old.

 
 

Goddamn, the cast was so good.

It also ushered in a whole new era of comedy on TV, bringing sketch comedy, which up to that point had been severly limited (unless you want to count Red Skelton or Jackie Gleason) as a stand-alone product.

Part of why that first cast was so amazing was we’d never seen anything like it on a sustained basis. And think about this: the Weekend Update spawned The Daily Show, Colbert can trace his roots to Belushi and Ackroyd opinionators, even the parody commercials are echoed now on things like Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network.

 
 

Jane, you ignorant slut.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Does your mom still have my socks? I left them in her car…

My mom didn’t have a car in 1975. Are you sure that wasn’t my aunt? We all look a lot alike…

 
 

SNL…does anyone remember “Women’s Problems”? A daytime talk-show with a group of guys discussing women’s problems? It was Oprah as run by Rush Limbaugh.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m friends with a couple of people I went to high school with on Facebook

You went to high school on Facebook? I feel so old.

Leave my bad sentence structure alooooooooooooone!

 
 

“Dark and dusty through the night,
kill my lan’lord, kill my lan’lord
See the big dog – do he bite?
cill my lan’lord, cill my lan’lord…c-i-l-l

Fixed for accuracy.

 
 

Fixed for accuracy.

I knew someone would remember. 🙂

 
 

My mom didn’t have a car in 1975.

She told me it was her car!

Oh man, no wonder that broad had such a weird look on her face when I carjacked her later…

 
 

It also ushered in a whole new era of comedy on TV, bringing sketch comedy, which up to that point had been severly limited (unless you want to count Red Skelton or Jackie Gleason) as a stand-alone product.

Ahem: Laugh-In.

 
 

I knew someone would remember. 🙂

ACTING!

 
 

Thank you, Master Thespian.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My mom didn’t have a car in 1975.

She told me it was her car!

Oh man, no wonder that broad had such a weird look on her face when I carjacked her later…

You carjacked my GRANDMA???

 
 

Ahem: Laugh-In.

No.

Well, not really. Laugh-In was more about the quick hit variety show, like vaudeville, else you could include Sonny and Cher or Smothers Brothers. Apart from the musical guest on SNL, you rarely had anything but sketch comedy.

 
 

He truly is a master baker.

 
 

You carjacked my GRANDMA???

Still have her dentures. Funny how they only had one toof.

 
 

Laugh-In was more about the quick hit variety show

You’re dead to me.

 
 

OK, my all-time favorite SNL first season sketch has to be Samurai Deli

 
 

You’re dead to me.

That’s what she said

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You carjacked my GRANDMA???

Still have her dentures. Funny how they only had one toof.

Awww. My grandmother ruined her teeth bearing eight children (and being poor) and has had full dentures since the 70s. Be nice.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yes, I know. We breed like rabbits around here.

 
 

We breed like rabbits around here.

That’s OK, we breed like pretend rabbits here. We just don’t pop out the litters.

 
 

OK, my all-time favorite SNL first season sketch has to be Samurai Deli

Was that first season? I thought all the samurai stuff came after they did Samurai Night Fever in ’77.

 
 

You’re dead to me.

What? There was nothing wrong with Laugh-In, it just wasn’t mostly sketch comedy! There was the big party that kicked off each show and the little blackout bits by Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi, and then the wall at the end, and lots of music and dancing in between.

It was a good show, I watched it religiously.

 
 

Was that first season?

Most of it was 1975-1976. The first one was with Richard Pryor, Samurai Bellhop

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

I find pretty much any “other” (ie. not from around the Northwest) accent from a woman hot, with the distinct exception of Southern US accents.

I think what killed those for me is a friend’s mom (not DKW’s) that was from Florida or Georgia, but has lived in Oregon for 30 years. She struggles to maintain her Southern accent and it’s become this weird amalgam of awfulness that grates on my every nerve.

And what about Monty Python? (not for accents, for the comedy)

 
 

I think what killed those for me is a friend’s mom (not DKW’s) that was from Florida or Georgia, but has lived in Oregon for 30 years. She struggles to maintain her Southern accent and it’s become this weird amalgam of awfulness that grates on my every nerve.

A few years ago, I was on the train from Richmond to NYC after a project and started talking to the woman sitting next to me. She was from the Bronx, had been living in VA for twenty years (since she got married) and was going to visit relatives back home. She had as thick a Bronx accent as I’ve heard (and my parents’ accents are pretty bad) with one exception. She spoke the words “my husband” as if she had grown up in Virginia.

 
 

Week-end Update as the Ur-Daily Show?

AHEM.

 
 

And what about Monty Python?

Let’s go there. It’s a silly place.

 
 

Substance: exactly.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

She struggles to maintain her Southern accent and it’s become this weird amalgam of awfulness that grates on my every nerve.

Heh. My aunt, who used to have a redneck-tinged Midwestern accent, has developed this really fucking strange way of talking after living with her Brooklyn-born-and-raised husband in Florida. It’s like she has the intonation and speed of a classic Brooklyn accent, but the flat vowels of a Midwestern accent. It’s weird.

 
 

So can we see all of these tallied in a poll?

With a separate category for non-sequitirs of course. No offense to procyonids. If they were aliens from Procyon I’d consider them a tad more. But raccoons aren’t allowed near my nuts nor the clams of any I consider friends.

 
 

Burnett’s GWTW had to be one of the funniest things ever put on tv.

 
 

It’s like she has the intonation and speed of a classic Brooklyn accent, but the flat vowels of a Midwestern accent. It’s weird.

I hate to think what I sound like with remnants of Long Island combined with my slow but inevitable adoption of Suthrin’.

I still have to struggle sometimes to avoid saying “NOIN” as in NOIN-ONE-ONE.

 
 

But raccoons aren’t allowed near my nuts

A good policy to have.

 
 

Wayne &Shuster.

Wow. They had TV in Canada back then?

 
 

Southern lilt (versus drawl), standard British, French, and Irish, Scottish and Welsh are all up there. Russian can be sexy from a woman. Lousy diction is a turn-off (except when the tongue is doing other things).

Emilie de Ravin (Claire on Lost)’s Aussie accent is horribly nasal. It grates on me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Emilie de Ravin (Claire on Lost)’s Aussie accent is horribly nasal. It grates on me.

Honestly, I can’t stand her in general. But I’m only on the third season SO NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

 
 

f) Kiwi or Irish. Come to think of it, they’re both pretty hot on a man, too.

 
 

NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

Her accent goes missing and ends up in a separate universe living in a Tulsa trailer park with a badger.

Oop! Sorry.

 
 

But I’m only on the third season SO NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

It’s all a dream and Bobby’s really alive.

 
 

Ahem: Laugh-In.

You can look that up in your Funk-n-Wagnalls.

I agree: SNL has had some of the funniest moments on TV. Their 1992 political special was a thing of frickin’ genius.

 
 

It’s all a dream and Bobby’s really alive.

Wait – Is Patrick Duffy supposed to have a goatee and a hand agonizer?

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

c. Persian, because ohgodohgodsexytime. Or New Orleans — not Cajun, not Southerner, but from the city, because it doesn’t sound like anything else, anywhere. Somoene who can say “Galatoire” and “étouffée” without missing a beat. Knowing where the former is and how to make the latter is a plus.
d. Mexican or Puerto Rican. Hearing someone shout, “?Ay, Papi!” while you’re…uh…never mind
f. Dutch. The ladies tend to have this robust, husky voice I like, and Dutch’s cadence is eerily similar to American English. Listening to the lady-announcer in Schiphol airport was like being slowly tied up by a sexy Dominatrix.

Basically, any language “yes” sounds good in. Which is most.

 
 

I think my favourite SNL sketch was the one with a take-charge ultra-competent Reagan ordering around a staff full of bumblers and boobs but really having to do everything himself. Don’t recall a lot of laughter at that one.

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

Carácter especial? Fallé.

 
 

hand agonizer?

Veiled masturbation reference?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

SNL? Pretty much anything Gilda Radner did as Emily Litella. Never mind…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s all a dream and Bobby’s really alive.

You asshole.

Actually, we were joking around the other day that that* would be exactly how it ended.

*Yes, this is awkward. I’m too lazy to think of an alternative construction right now.

 
 

You asshole.

It’s not my fault that you couldn’t see that Lost is simply Dallas set on an island. It was intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer.

 
 

Also, I gave up on Lost after the middle of the second season. If I’m going to engage in mental masturbation, I’ll be the one massaging my lobes. I have no idea about anything in that show other than one female lead can evangelize my lily any time she wants.

 
 

JEEZIZZLE.

Fat Tony Scalia is the lead article on Wikipedia today (god help us) and I have to see his Bush-enabling smug-shit grin every time I click over there. Thanks, guys, really needed that this close to lunch. *gag*

 
 

Don’t forget Flip Wilson and Jonathan Winters whose shows debuted after Carol Burnett’s but were actually funny.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s not my fault that you couldn’t see that Lost is simply Dallas set on an island. It was intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer.

OMG it totally is basically a science fiction-y soap opera.

I have no idea about anything in that show other than one female lead can evangelize my lily any time she wants.

She is so hot. Jack and Desmond are yummy, too, although Jack’s dumbass tattoos (yes, I know they’re part of the plot) bug.

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

Basically, any language “yes” sounds good in. Which is most

Except Hebrew, because it sounds like “Ken,” and I got really insecure because I thought she was calling out someone else’s name.

Did I say “I?” Uh, I meant, I heard that happened to someone else. Who is totally not me.

Look over there! PENIS!

 
 

Don’t forget Flip Wilson

Red light!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Don’t forget Flip Wilson and Jonathan Winters whose shows debuted after Carol Burnett’s but were actually funny.

Oh, come on. I’m not a big Carol Burnett fan, but she was pretty fucking funny.

 
Istanbul ( not Constantinople)
 

Save the livers!
Full of coagulants!

 
 

Whale Chowder – I used the phrase “intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer” in honor of my statics and thermo professors, both of whom beat those words into the ground.

 
 

a take-charge ultra-competent Reagan

The great Phil Hartman:

Maka Laka Hi Maka Hiney Ho.

 
 

Whale Chowder – I used the phrase “intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer”…

I don’t imagine you were actually talking to me — or at least it isn’t intuitively obvious (heh) but anyway, yeah, I often use the phrase “The rest is left as an exercise for the reader” thanks to encountering that in countless math and comp sci texts (the bastarts!).

 
 

Except Hebrew, because it sounds like “Ken,” and I got really insecure because I thought she was calling out someone else’s name.

But you had no problem when your French girlfriend called out “Wee”? Veeery interesting…

 
 

Oh, come on. I’m not a big Carol Burnett fan, but she was pretty fucking funny.

The sketches with the family that later turned into a shit spinoff were quite wonderfully hostile.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The great Phil Hartman:

Aww, I miss Phil.

 
 

Week-end Update as the Ur-Daily Show?

AHEM.

Right, because British TV was soooooooooooo popular in Chicago.

 
 

Attention grunty little malebeasts with your SNL sketch comedy.

A gay little variety show, that Carol Burnett.

Seriously, what is it with the dick swinging about variety shows and trying to make them some how come out as comedy shows?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The sketches with the family that later turned into a shit spinoff were quite wonderfully hostile.

I have never seen the spinoff, but as spinoffs are usually shit, I’m not surprised.

 
 

But I’m only on the third season SO NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

So we shouldn’t tell you they get found and in an epic promotion crossover, they’re found by the lizard people of “V”? Also, Claire ends up contracting some weird disease and ends up on an episode of “House” and Vincent D’Onofrio investigates the little bastard Domonic Monaghan for the murder of Kyle.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Vincent D’Onofrio investigates the little bastard Domonic Monaghan for the murder of Kyle.

Who the fuck is Kyle?

 
 

I think everyone should sound like Brett from Flight of the Conchords. Actually, I think everyone should BE Brett from FOTC. (They’re New Zealanders) Yummers.

 
 

Seriously, what is it with the dick swinging about variety shows and trying to make them some how come out as comedy shows?

Because they were comedy shows. What’s the deal with musicians on SNL. In any case, more pre-SNL sketch comedy.

 
 

Who the fuck is Kyle?

Glad you asked.

He shows up in Season Four when ANOTHER plane crashes. That crash is investigated by Tom Harmon and the crew from NCIS.

 
 

Because they were comedy shows.

Sadly, no. They were not. When the host sings the show off, you stop being a comedy show.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So, sort of related. My undergrad playwriting professor swore he pitched the idea for Taxi and they turned it down, only to steal it and produce it two years later. I *think* I believe him, but he’s a little weird, so he could have been making it up.

 
 

When the host sings the show off with incense burning, it’s a church.

 
 

My undergrad playwriting professor swore he pitched the idea for Taxi and they turned it down

a) It happens. A lot more frequently than people know. This is why you always submit thru an agent. You have some protection that way.

b) Who is he? It might be fun to look it up.

c) While it happens more frequently than most people know, it happens a lot less frequently than many people claim.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

He shows up in Season Four when ANOTHER plane crashes. That crash is investigated by Tom Harmon and the crew from NCIS.

When does Keifer Sutherland show up to torture Sayid?

 
 

When the host sings the show off with incense burning, it’s a church.

Unless there’s a body going into the ground, then it’s a graveside.

 
 

When does Keifer Sutherland show up to torture Sayid?

In Season 24.

 
Preston "Bodie" Broadus
 

Seriously, what is it with the dick swinging about variety shows and trying to make them some how come out as comedy shows?

Dude. Some of us love the variety show genre, mmmmK? Don’t go overboard.

 
 

When the host sings the show off, you stop being a comedy show.

Alrighty then, SNL was the first ever sketch comedy television show – popular in Chicago, and where the host did not sing as part of the closing.

Geez, you coulda just added the caveat “created by Lorne Michaels”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Who is he? It might be fun to look it up.

Here.

I’m positive he doesn’t remember me, but Mr.T&U took his class the semester before I did and he luuuuuuurved him.

 
 

Geez, you coulda just added the caveat “created by Lorne Michaels”.

…and “where half the cast worked for DKW’s mom and blow”

 
 

Hee-Haw. Almost always funnier than SNL.

 
 

Alrighty then, SNL was the first ever sketch comedy television show – popular in Chicago, and where the host did not sing as part of the closing.

Is that what you thought I meant? Gert up off your mom and go read my original post.

 
 

…and “where half the cast worked for DKW’s mom and blow”

Pfft, yeah like that narrows it down at al..uh..wait – I mean YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!

 
 

*AHEM*

On television, variety reached its peak during the period of the 1960s and 1970s. With a turn of the television dial, viewers around the globe could variously have seen shows and occasional specials featuring Andy Williams, Julie Andrews, Carpenters, Olivia Newton-John, John Denver, John Davidson, Bobby Goldsboro, Lynda Carter, Johnny Cash, Sonny and Cher, Bob Monkhouse, Carol Burnett, Rod Hull and Emu, Flip Wilson, Dinah Shore, Lawrence Welk, Glen Campbell, Donny & Marie Osmond, Barbara Mandrell, Judy Garland, The Captain & Tennille, The Jacksons, The Keane Brothers, Bobby Darin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Mary Tyler Moore, Tony Orlando and Dawn, The Smothers Brothers, Danny Kaye, Buck and Roy, Roy Hudd, Billy Dainty Max Wall or The Muppet Show. Variety shows were once as common on television as Westerns, courtroom dramas, suspense thrillers, sitcoms, or (in more modern times) reality shows.

The defense rest, and the judge throws out the case.

 
 

…and “where half the cast worked for DKW’s mom and blow”

Pfft, yeah like that narrows it down at al..uh..wait – I mean YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!

You mean “the first whore who’s not DKW’s mom”

 
 

It also ushered in a whole new era of comedy on TV, bringing sketch comedy, which up to that point had been severly limited (unless you want to count Red Skelton or Jackie Gleason) as a stand-alone product.

Severely limited meaning everywhere on TV unless you wanted music which Saturday Night Live also has.

 
 

Mr.T&U took his class the semester before I did and he luuuuuuurved him.

Has Mr. T&U seen The History Boys?

 
 

Too late, Subby, you’ve been voted off the island by Wikipedia.

 
 

I’ve got that fakking Carol Burnett song stuck in my head now, thankyouverymuch.

 
 

Too late, Subby, you’ve been voted off the island by Wikipedia.

I had a cranky ex-wikipedian on my site just today! We can play checkers!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mr.T&U took his class the semester before I did and he luuuuuuurved him.

Has Mr. T&U seen The History Boys?

No, but our professor wrote a play about a professor who sleeps with one of his students, sooooooooo……

 
 

Hee-Haw. Almost always funnier than SNL.

Um. No.

I spent many Saturday afternoons in my teens watching Hee Haw because Hawt Chicks in Cutoffs. It was not even remotely funny.

“Yew met another and Phbpt! Yew was gawn!”

Ugh.

 
 

I had a cranky ex-wikipedian on my site just today! We can play checkers!

Have fun!

 
 

“Yew met another and Phbpt! Yew was gawn!”

That is fucking funny. Suspense too.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I prefer Heee Haw.

 
 

Gert up off your mom and go read my original post.

at 18:13 about how we’d never before seen anything like this on a sustained basis without a cutesy closing song.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My favorite variety show is Fraggle Rock. That counts, right?

 
 

at 18:13 about how we’d never before seen anything like this on a sustained basis

I stand by that comment. SNL did sketch after sketch of flat out comedy gold. It didn’t have just one or two hosts and a guest star, all of whom had to be catered to, but had an ensemble that could run one sketch on as another was being struck down to set up a third sketch.

I can’t fathom why this is so hard for you to grasp. It was a comedy show, not a variety show.

Oh. Wait. Variety. Mom. I forgot.

 
 

My favorite variety show is Fraggle Rock. That counts, right?

If you pour Pepsi over it, your guts will explode.

 
 

I can’t fathom why this is so hard for you to grasp. It was a comedy show, not a variety show.

Except for the music.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If you pour Pepsi over it, your guts will explode.

Sciencey!

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

He believes it was a comedy show.

 
 

Okay, then what disqualifies Johnny Wayne and Frank Shuster? The cutesy closing song?

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Sciencey!

The Mythbusters are looking into it. And something will explode, whether the claim is true or not. Probably the fanboys’ pants, if Kari is doing the experiment.

 
 

Except for the music.

Yes, of course. And the interviews with the musical act, another staple of a variety show. Oh, and the duet between the guest star and the host. I saw that all the time on Saturday Night Live.

Such a variety show, that SNL.

 
 

And something will explode, whether the claim is true or not. Probably the fanboys’ pants

Xecky – Thanks. My first actual out-loud laugh of the day.

 
 

Probably the fanboys’ pants, if Kari is doing the experiment.

Her baby boobs are pretty impressive. If she’s smart, she’ll lose the baby fat quick and shoot that bikini poster before the kid weans.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The Mythbusters are looking into it. And something will explode, whether the claim is true or not. Probably the fanboys’ pants, if Kari is doing the experiment.

A) It totally works with Mentos.

B) Did you know there exists Mythbusters slashfic? This terrifies me.

 
 

Oh, and the duet between the guest star and the host.

Hard to imagine, yes.

 
 

Did you know there exists Mythbusters slashfic? This terrifies me.

I guess I won’t mention the Mr. Rogers slashfic I ran across entirely by accident.

 
 

Okay, then what disqualifies Johnny Wayne and Frank Shuster? The cutesy closing song?

Ummmmmmmmmmm, they were CANADIAN? And sucked? And used a laugh track?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I guess I won’t mention the Mr. Rogers slashfic I ran across entirely by accident.

Shut the fuck up! You made that up.

 
 

Hard to imagine, yes.

A parody of something is not the same thing as that something, is it?

Else we’d have to classify you as human.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And who would it feature? Mr. Rogers and those puppets? Mr. Rogers and the mailman (can’t remember his name right now)? Gross.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

T&U – I’ve heard of Mythbusters slash – but I’ve never investigated to see if it were really true. I take their “don’t try this at home” warning to heart there.

Thanks. My first actual out-loud laugh of the day.

FRIST! Welcome.

actor – does this mean there isn’t a kini poster already? Shocked.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Did you know there exists Mythbusters slashfic? This terrifies me.

Yet you watch Lost?

I think I’ll take the slashfic, thanks.

 
 

Shut the fuck up! You made that up.

You’ve never seen?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

actor – does this mean there isn’t a kini poster already? Shocked.

Does this count?

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Shut the fuck up! You made that up.

Somebody already had, I’m sure. See Rule 34.

 
 

does this mean there isn’t a kini poster already?

Sort of, but it could be Photoshopped

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Wasn’t the mailmain in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood “Mr. McFeely”? That just begs for slashfic…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You’ve never seen?

I’ll stay in the boat, thanks.

Yet you watch Lost?

I think I’ll take the slashfic, thanks.

I used to think the same thing, dude….

 
 

And who would it feature? Mr. Rogers and those puppets? Mr. Rogers and the mailman ?

Mr. Rogers and an angora goat.

 
 

Damn my Websense! I had to find an image of that I could link to….grrrr, you, T&U!

 
 

It’s not my fault that you couldn’t see that Lost is simply Dallas set on an island.

I’ve never watched Lost but as I learned just the other day, not Dallas but The Third Policeman, as some here might be interested to know. Also.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wasn’t the mailmain in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood “Mr. McFeely”?

Yes! That explains it.

 
 

Squealin’ like a piglet, straight down the line.

 
 

Wasn’t the mailmain in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood “Mr. McFeely”?

It was also Fred Rogers’ middle name.

That’s not a joke.

 
 

A parody of something is not the same thing as that something, is it?

Well, a parody song is a song of course. You know, like on a VARIETY show.

 
 

Ummmmmmmmmmm, they were CANADIAN? And sucked? And used a laugh track?

Okay, then. SNL is the very first time sketch comedy that actor212 liked has ever appeared on television, EVAR. Incidentally, W&S made their names, like all successful Canookians, on American teevees.

 
 

Well, a parody song is a song of course. You know, like on a VARIETY show.

Sit down, son. You’re embarassing yourself.

 
 

Incidentally, W&S made their names, like all successful Canookians, on American teevees.

So W&S were less funny than Topo Gigo? Cuz they only appeared on Sullivan six times, and the fat little mouse was pretty much a regular.

 
 

Between yesterday’s thread and today’s, am I the only person starting to long for a troll?

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Does this count?

Drat – what a time to be at work. I’ll get back to you.

 
 

embarrassing

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Damn my Websense! I had to find an image of that I could link to….grrrr, you, T&U!

At first I found a really nipply photo of a readhead in really thin, wet clothes from a certain men’s magazine that starts with a P. It wasn’t her, though, just another redhead. I guess they all look alike.

 
 

Between yesterday’s thread and today’s, am I the only person starting to long for a troll?

That’s ME! Look! SNL is a comedy-variety show!

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

I always thought The Gong Show was one of the most gripping television dramas of the ’70s.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OMFG you guys, WHO CARES???

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Between yesterday’s thread and today’s, am I the only person starting to long for a troll?

Yes. Hence my outburst.

 
 

OMFG you guys, WHO CARES???

And we have a second vote for something better than this.

 
 

OMFG you guys, WHO CARES???

Apparently, Subby does.

DKW is just whiling the hours until mom is finished with the New Jersey Nets.

 
 

Yes.
Yes, no…it’s a fine line.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

I guess they all look alike.

I’ll reserve judgment until I’ve looked at all of them.

 
 

I rate for threads where Substance McGravitas treats Actor212 as his own personal internet plaything.

 
 

No one mentioned Second City TV – John Candy, Martin Short, etc. Count Floyd was fookin’ hilarious!

 
 

I guess they all look alike.

[citation needed]

For science.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

[citation needed]

For science.

Sorry. I had to close it before I got in trouble. But it was a pretty hot photo.

 
 

No one mentioned Second City TV – John Candy, Martin Short, etc. Count Floyd was fookin’ hilarious!

Yea, but they came after the SNL crew, for the most part.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

And we have a second vote for something better than this.

Better than Kari Byron?!?

 
 

I guess they all look alike.

Hairist!

 
 

I rate for threads where Substance McGravitas treats Actor212 as his own personal internet plaything.

Yea, but you’re a doosh, so who cares?

 
 

Second City TV

Absolutely. I have the 5 Neat Guys singing “Raiders of the Lost Ark” in my head far too often.

 
 

The big ole hyphen closes the deal!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I guess they all look alike.

Hairist!

Hey, some of my best friends are redheads!

 
 

Lorne: It’s a comedy show!
Smack!
Lorne: It’s a variety show!
smack!
Lorne: It’s a comedy show and a variety show!

 
 

Hey, some of my best friends are redheads!

Phone numbers?

 
 

W&S made their names, like all successful Canookians, on American teevees.

Of course they did. I don’t think Canada’s industrial base ever had the capability to do eeelectronicalish things. Except for the American firms using the cheap, indigenous labor force up there.

 
 

Better than Kari Byron?!?

Better than Substance and Actor arguing. To paraphrase “The Ref,” I’ve kidnapped D-KW’s fucking parents.

 
 

I don’t think Canada’s industrial base ever had the capability to do eeelectronicalish things.

They do put up those pretty Northern Lights for us in the states.

 
 

Look! SNL is a comedy-variety show!

SNL gets the hyphen; The Carol Burnett Show gets the slash. A labeling crisis!

 
 

Better than Substance and Actor arguing.

I wasn’t arguing. Subby has some personal vendetta against me, for whatever reason I can’t begin to fathom.

But hey, at least he’s signing his own name to the posts now.

 
 

The Carol Burnett Show gets the slash

Tudbowl/Wiggins slashfic? I’m there…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

SNL gets the hyphen; The Carol Burnett Show gets the slash. A labeling crisis!

Sexism at its worst.

 
 

I rate for Lawnguylander.

 
 

JESUS GOD NO CAROL BURNETT SLASH

 
 

Better than Substance and Actor arguing.

Forgive me N__B for indulging myself, but Big Hollywood’s banned me. Lawnguylander is a fine and funny gentleman, and so is Actor when he remembers that disagreement isn’t heresy or assault.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Was it on this blog that somebody said Frost/Nixon was the worst slashfic evar?

I about peed for laughing.

 
 

Yea, but they came after the SNL crew, for the most part.

As did The Muppet Show. But all of them around that mid-70’s time frame, when variety shows were still popular but show-runners were starting to recognize that some types of acts really do need that live audience connection thing to fly. Or not, I am just talking out my ass, and a212’s mom tells me she’ll be done with the fourteen guys ahead of me on the waiting list in another minute or two.

 
 

JESUS GOD NO CAROL BURNETT SLASH

Too boring? Destroying childhood memories? Too sexy?

 
 

JESUS GOD NO CAROL BURNETT SLASH

Mrs. HuWiggins…

 
 

Forgive me N__B for indulging myself

No forgiveness needed for either of you from me. I’m just bored with it and since I’m not putting either of you in the killfile, I’m stuck. You think I want to pay attention to the idiotic drawing I’m working on for some yuppie shit with a 5-million-dollar apartment in Greenwich Village?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

JESUS GOD NO CAROL BURNETT SLASH

I’m sure it already exists. See Xecky, above.

 
 

Here’s something conflicting: My Pet Jawa, who are worthless assholes, do some sleuthing and catch a guy with fake degrees working for Homeland Security:

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/202111.php

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

God, my co-worker fucking SUCKS. Where’s Junkpuncho?

 
 

Also: two colons in every sentence: excellent.

 
Junkpuncho's Email Bot
 

Sorry, but I’m out on a call right now. There’s a lot of junk that needs punching. Please leave your intended victim’s name and address and I will punch them in the junk as soon as I can.

 
 

Actor when he remembers that disagreement isn’t heresy or assault.

When disagreement takes the form of assault, Subby, I will reply in kind.

Be jealous, son. 🙂

 
 

WTF is going on today? Nothing new at TBogg and this thread is at least 8 hours old. Lazy fuck’n liberal snarktards.

 
 

God, my co-worker fucking SUCKS.

I hope you’ve removed your pants.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

God, my co-worker fucking SUCKS.

I hope you’ve removed your pants.

I didn’t mean that in a good way.

 
 

God, my co-worker fucking SUCKS.

I hope you’ve removed your pants.

I don’t think she has the kind of hardware that kind of sucking is good for. Her’s is more a software solution.

 
 

Men – Scottish/Irish/Something Celtic Brogue

Women – Anything Middle Eastern or Latin American

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t think she has the kind of hardware that kind of sucking is good for. Her’s is more a software solution.

Also, I don’t wear pants.

 
 

PS, Fish-Eaters – as long as they speak Whale.

 
 

I didn’t mean that in a good way.

I wasn’t addressing your comment, merely giving you a healthy shot of patriarchy.

 
 

Also, I don’t wear pants.

Now you’re just teasing.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

merely giving you a healthy shot of patriarchy.

Excuse me???!

 
 

Excuse me???!

Why should Actor and Substance have all the fun. Give me twenty minutes and let’s see how many arguments I can start…

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Creed is so good!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Excuse me???!

Why should Actor and Substance have all the fun. Give me twenty minutes and let’s see how many arguments I can start…

Oh, I see. I thought you meant something else.

 
 

Who here wants more trolls?

 
Balzac, the ball sack chomping pelican
 

Where’s Junkpuncho?

Perhaps I may be of service?

 
 

RED SOX SUK!

 
 

Music critics slammed Creed because they thought they were generic, hyped and because music critics are generally a very fickle breed.

They would justify themselves by saying things like the lyrics were “trite” when Creed’s lyrics are often extremely strong, especially compared with other bands in the mainstream around the time. As for the music being lifeless…..I find that laughable.

 
 

I rate for Lawnguylander.

J— wins the thread!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Where’s Junkpuncho?

Perhaps I may be of service?

I appreciate it, but I don’t think your services are useful in this circumstance.

 
 

I wish I was on my Mac. Windoze sucks.

 
 

The foreskin must be avenged!

 
 

People who use emacs as an editor are lazy stupid heathens. Vi is the only way to go.

 
 

But I’m only on the third season SO NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

Spoilers? LOST?

We’re, like, four episodes from the end and still nobody knows what the fuck is going on.

How can you spoil that?

 
 

The Parthians? A bunch of scared women who’ll retreat before the might of Rome.

/Crassus

 
 

The best buggy whips in the world come from Westfield Massachussetts. Those heathens in Yorkshire have no idea how to tan the leather properly!

 
Balzac, the ball sack chomping pelican
 

I don’t think your services are useful in this circumstance.

A pelican’s bill is a wonderful tool, able to reach into all kinds of interesting places. I’m trying to make a name here, can a pelican get a break?

 
 

How can you spoil that?

Leave it sitting in the sun for six years? I mean phoo-ee.

 
 

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

/Solon

 
 

Ballmer added, however, that most lines of business software–industry-specific applications or transaction systems, for example–aren’t going to the cloud en masse yet. Platform as a service offerings, like Microsoft’s Azure, haven’t taken off. But with what he calls “information worker infrastructure” — think Exchange, SharePoint, and Office software — CIOs are ready to move quickly to the cloud.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

A pelican’s bill is a wonderful tool, able to reach into all kinds of interesting places. I’m trying to make a name here, can a pelican get a break?

That’s almost too horrifying to wish on my worst enemy. Almost.

 
dim-witted badger
 

Perhaps I may be of service?

fucking pelicans

 
 

Microsoft’s Azure

I got an uncle lives in Dallas.

 
 

Lazy fuck’n liberal snarktards.

What the hell are they supposed to make fun of?

Ensign’s $50 campaign haul (none of it came from his parents!1one1!)
Irky Irksome has a newish lieberal media bias whine
Dr. Helen’s post about agents for enhancing soft totalitarianism.

Wait, leave that last one alone – I might take a swing at it once I’m done with Whale Chowder’s mom.

 
 

What, no pelican video from the other day?

*way too lazy*

 
 

Ensign’s $50 campaign haul (none of it came from his parents!1one1!)

Was it from his hair?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

‘Kick-Ass’ Is the Quintessential Libertarian Film

That just made me dumber.And boreder.

Off to read the latest Journal of Library Metadata, I guess.

 
 

I might take a swing at it once I’m done with Whale Chowder’s mom

Would you hurry up? I have a five o’clock train to catch.

 
 

‘Kick-Ass’ Is the Quintessential Libertarian Film

I thought that was “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

PeeJ: I once worked with a rabid Randian/Libertarian that would endlessly espouse that position as the best thing ever and would rail against teh ebel gobmit for placing “standards” on heights of toilets to help disabled folks that were infringing on his right to squat.

Delightful chap, he.

 
 

PeeJ: I once worked with a rabid Randian/Libertarian that would endlessly espouse that position as the best thing ever

There’s an ongoing Matt Furey thread and he’s pretty poop-conscious.

 
 

heights of toilets to help disabled folks that were infringing on his right to squat

He must be pretty short. I find those to be particularly comfortable.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

PeeJ: I once worked with a rabid Randian/Libertarian that would endlessly espouse that position as the best thing ever and would rail against teh ebel gobmit for placing “standards” on heights of toilets to help disabled folks that were infringing on his right to squat.

Then he should carry around a fucking stepstool.

Although pee-hoverers are bad enough. Accidents from poop-hoverers would be yucky.

 
 

Was it from his hair?

Forgot linkee. Robert Donald is responsible for the entirety of Ensign’s campaign contributions year-to-date. To be fair to Ensign’s mom, she’d have contributed too if it weren’t for all the money she has to spend on lube and anti-biotics.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

From SubMc’s link:

DVD showing Chinese exercises and self-massage techniques that can eliminate one of the greatest plagues of modern civilization. – $49 plus S&H

Wow. Just, wow.

 
 

The obvious Miley Cyrus parody:

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

?Robert Donald is responsible for the entirety of Ensign’s campaign contributions year-to-date

And such a charming contributor, too.

 
 

lthough pee-hoverers are bad enough. Accidents from poop-hoverers would be yucky.

Let’s not get started on poop-hooverers or, worse, Poop/J. Edgar Hoover slashfic.

 
 

Forgot linkee. Robert Donald is responsible for the entirety of Ensign’s campaign contributions year-to-date.

So the broad he was screwing while forgetting to win elections in 2008 didn’t give a dime?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Don’t know wtf happened to the punctuation, there. Wev.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Let’s not get started on poop-hooverers or, worse, Poop/J. Edgar Hoover slashfic.

Yuck. That’s worse than Poop/Hoover Vacuums slashfic.

 
 

I’m trying to make a name here, can a pelican get a break?

I now have two people I hate with the heat of a million exploding suns. I’ve never hated before, so the drifting off to sleep each night while fantasizing about their horrible deaths is new to me. That said, I don’t want it to be too quick. What skills do you have, and what’s the going rate?

 
 

If Irksome learns to write better, he could wind up at a major cable news network.

 
 

I now have two people I hate with the heat of a million exploding suns.

Anyone we know?

 
 

My bisexual female roommate and I are both very into Craig Ferguson right now, so I’m going to say Scottish for both bi and straight girls. And no, we don’t make out, have pillow fights, or walk around naked in our apartment.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Then he should carry around a fucking stepstool.

Nah, he should love it or leave it! If you want squat-toilets, move to Thailand.

 
 

“And no, we don’t make out, have pillow fights, or walk around naked in our apartment.”

Thank you.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And no, we don’t make out, have pillow fights, or walk around naked in our apartment.

That’s it! I’m revoking your bi cards.

 
 

Nah, he should love it or leave it! If you want squat-toilets, move to Thailand.

Or France.

 
 

Snark from the Austin American-Statesman:

“Who needs a quarterback? Jacksonville: The team’s owner hinted at drafting Tim Tebow to sell tickets – by holding a clipboard?”

 
 

Anyone we know?

Not if you’re lucky.

 
 

into Craig Ferguson right now, so I’m going to say Scottish

I don’t think it should count if you’re talking about someone interesting. What would make, say, Jimmy Kimmel more interesting?

 
 

And no, we don’t make out, have pillow fights, or walk around naked in our apartment.

What’s the point, then?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What would make, say, Jimmy Kimmel more interesting?

Being funny, for a start.

 
 

What would make, say, Jimmy Kimmel more interesting?

A noose.

 
 

Being funny, for a start.

No no, we keep him unfunny and uninteresting to look at. What accent would up his sexiness?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What would make, say, Jimmy Kimmel more interesting?

A noose.

Yours is better. Cruel, but better.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No no, we keep him unfunny and uninteresting to look at. What accent would up his sexiness?

There is no accent on the planet that would ever make Jimmy Kimmel sexy.

 
 

Yeah, Ferguson’s got more going on than just the accent. I’d strongly consider having naked pillow fights with him were he to ask.

 
 

What accent would up his sexiness?

Mute.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ferguson’s got more going on than just the accent.

The accent’s just the icing. The sweet, sexy Scottish icing…

 
 

A noose.

Yours is better. Cruel, but better.

I didn’t say we should hang him, just put a noose around his neck. The audience to watch if he somehow trips and falls down, snagging the rope on something while simultaneously I trip the a trap door opens under him should be ratings gold.

 
 

The best buggy whips in the world come from Westfield Massachussetts.

this is just starting to read like a Larry King column.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I didn’t say we should hang him, just put a noose around his neck. The audience to watch if he somehow trips and falls down, snagging the rope on something while simultaneously I trip the a trap door opens under him should be ratings gold.

I do have to say that I can’t totally hate him. He tore Leno a new asshole when he was on his show a couple of months ago during that whole Conan/Leno fiasco.

 
 

‘Kick-Ass’ Is the Quintessential Libertarian Film

He’s gonna have to argue about it with Amanda Marcotte.

 
 

He tore Leno a new asshole when he was on his show a couple of months ago during that whole Conan/Leno fiasco

Yea, that was funny. But then, you have to ask yourself if he did it because he felt it, or he did it because he figured he could steal some audience from Conan, and Leno was complicit in this?

See? It’s not hard to think like a right winger if you put your mind to it!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But then, you have to ask yourself if he did it because he felt it, or he did it because he figured he could steal some audience from Conan, and Leno was complicit in this?

Good question. He’s such a smarmy asshole I wouldn’t be surprised.

 
 

f. Orz. *Jumping peppers!*

 
 

The best buggy whips in the world come from Westfield Massachussetts.

this is just starting to read like a Larry King column.

I could whole the whole Monty:

The best hieroglyphics come from Sumeria. Those poseurs in Egypt write like Hitites!

Next caller, we have Sioux, from Sue City, Mesopotamia</i.

 
The Frito Pundito
 

Being a g), I would have to say that a fish accent really turns me on. So you say fish don’t have accents*? You haven’t been listening!

*And no, they don’t sound like they’re from Vermont either!

 
 

I could whole the whole Monty:

wha?

 
 

So you say fish don’t have accents?

I made a grouper bark like a dog once:

 
 

I could whole the whole Monty:

wha?

I didn’t want to use full monty and Larry King in the same post.

Aw, shit!

 
 

*And no, they don’t sound like they’re from Vermont either!

Ooh, don’t let Champ hear you say that.

 
 

Actually, I think Orz also works perfectly for g.

The accent I find most appealing is pretty mundane: it’s the kind of sub-accent that well-educated middle class geeks have in the US acrolect. There’s just this certain type of voice where you immediately know the speaker has read Star Trek fanfiction and probably knits.

 
Balzac, the ball sack chomping pelican
 

That’s almost too horrifying to wish on my worst enemy.

So to summarize: chomping balls is A-OK. It’s only when the lady-parts get involved that we get squeamish. I see how it is.

What skills do you have, and what’s the going rate?

Imagine a fleshy appendage with many nerve endings. Imagine the chomping power of a pelican’s beak.

I also fly (we’re miracles up in the sky). And P00P.

I work for scale: fish scale, if you know what I mean.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So to summarize: chomping balls is A-OK. It’s only when the lady-parts get involved that we get squeamish. I see how it is.

I never said I wasn’t a hypocrite.

There’s just this certain type of voice where you immediately know the speaker has read Star Trek fanfiction and probably knits.

Yes. Adorable.

 
 

Rank, vile, hurtful discrimination! Everybody EXCEPT ‘d’ (and possibly ‘a’) can have TWO sexiest accent preferences.

 
 

Balzac, the ball sack chomping pelican

I’m Henri’d to meet you.

 
 

South African is pretty good.
Somewhere in his memoirs (can’t be arsed looking it up), Clive James describes living in London for the first time and finding himself in a laundromat seated between two South Efrikans “beating each other over the head with coshes filled with broken vowels”.

Almost any accent except Scandinavian or Dutch I guess.
Harumph.

 
 

There’s just this certain type of voice where you immediately know the speaker has read Star Trek fanfiction and probably knits.

Mine might qualify. Though stirred with some West-of-the-Rockies drawl and post-smoker husk.

 
 

West-of-the-Rockies drawl and post-smoker husk

Took John Denver at his word, eh?

 
 

Took John Denver at his word, eh?

Many times. Had to give it up, though, since I think for a living.

 
 

Had to give it up, though, since I think for a living.

…which is not to say there are no thinking stoners. I know – and deeply envy – a few people who can do some really tight coding while higher than a goddam kite.

 
 

I know – and deeply envy – a few people who can do some really tight coding while higher than a goddam kite.

If Dock Ellis could throw a no-hitter while flying, there’s hope for us all.

 
 

The best hieroglyphics come from Sumeria. Those poseurs in Egypt write like Hitites!

your grandmother smells like a elamite

 
 

your grandmother smells like a elamite

Elamite is the Jew of liberal Akkadian

 
 

Xecky, you knit? Sexy!

 
 

Xecky, you knit? Sexy!

Full disclosure: I have knitted, but do not do so habitually. I’m not very into fiber arts beyond a bit of utilitarian mending.

 
 

your grandmother smells like a elamite

What, with her nose?

 
 

I have knitted

You have knut. Can I pet him?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve been wanting to learn to knit for a while. However, given my clumsiness, I’m not sure an activity involving two gigantic needles is the best idea.

 
 

Wear goggles.

 
 

Wear goggles.

There are so many activities in life where safety glasses would save lives.

 
 

Or London English.
I was thinking just yesterday that for people who like that Estuary accent but can’t handle the thought of living in London with the bustle and grime and crumbling infrastructure, it would be useful to have kind of host bodies that you could just occupy for a while. You could call them “chavatars”.

 
 

You could call them “chavatars”.

Those sound like they’d be the assistant mohels at a bris.

 
Balzac, the ball sack chomping pelican
 

There are so many activities in life where safety glasses would save lives.

They won’t save you from me.

 
 

really tight coding

you’ll need to rub some mineral oil into the data members before attempting to refactor it

 
 

They won’t save you from me.

No, but we will!

 
 

I’ve been wanting to learn to knit for a while.

I can knit my brow.

Doesn’t help keep me warm in the winter, however.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I can knit my brow.

I can, too. I like to think it makes me look smart. And in need of Botox.

 
 

The Mythbusters are looking into it.
Some Mythbusters love over at Pharyngula. No mention of Kari, however; nor of Scottie, who is cordially invited any time to SHUT UP SMUT

 
 

Scottie

*sigh*

It’s not the same, I tell you…it’s just not the same.

 
 

I like to think it makes me look smart

It’s a good thing you’re not blonde or it would have the opposite effect.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s a good thing you’re not blonde or it would have the opposite effect.

Well, it may make me look dumb, for all I know.

Hey, wait! How do you know I’m not a blonde?

 
 

The answer for a through g is zzee Frrrrench.

It’s never Australian, sorry.

 
 

How do you know I’m not a blonde?

*shutting down Skypecam*

What?

 
 

as you have knute, so shall you have been scrod

 
 

*shutting down Skypecam*

Secretly actor215.

 
 

Secretly actor215.

So what, you’re saying T&U is dealing in stolen goods?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*shutting down Skypecam*

What?

Are you this guy, who has been trying to talk about my boobs on Twitter for the last half-hour?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh! And show “nature pictures” to one of the ladies I follow on Twitter? Creep.

 
 

Are you this guy, who has been trying to talk about my boobs on Twitter for the last half-hour?

Um, no.

Are they that good, tho? Cuz, you know, I! W? N?

 
 

Secretly actor215.

I have never ¹ been to Pennsylvania

¹ OK, I have but it’s been years and I’ve obeyed the judge’s TRO to the letter.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Are they that good, tho? Cuz, you know, I! W? N??

I’d like to think they’re among my better features…but you can’t even see them in my profile pic!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And, no, no W or N.

 
 

You need to do the right kind of coding while high. C++ is straight out. Anything strongly typed is wicked. Compiler errors kill your buzz.

A wise person recommended LISP. I find it doesn’t interfere with my Ruby work.

 
 

You need to do the right kind of coding while high.

I haven’t found any kind I can do properly in that condition. Not only is my stoner-code buggy, no ordinary debugging can fix it, and it just has to be trashed and rewritten completely. A friend of mine and I theorized at great length about just which parts of the brain different people use for programming and being baked and how that might explain it – while very very high, of course.

 
 

Are you this guy, who has been trying to talk about my boobs on Twitter for the last half-hour?

I [Hate] Huckabee! And trying? How hard is it to talk about boobs?

 
 

How hard is it to talk about boobs?

Not too hard, but for us butt-men it ends up sounding kind of forced.

 
 

Yeah, but a butt man wouldn’t try to talk about them for 30 minutes, he’d just ask for spandex pics or something.

 
 

I’m with you, Xecky.

And T&U, on behalf of age-enhanced men everywhere, I apologize for that jerk and the (probably) many other asshats you have or will encounter over your lifetime.

 
 

Yeah, but a butt man wouldn’t try to talk about them for 30 minutes, he’d just ask for spandex pics or something.

I dunno, if you have multiple butts that could make for a long conversation.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I [Hate] Huckabee! And trying? How hard is it to talk about boobs?

I know, right? I mean, if you’re going to be creepy, just be creepy. Damn.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And T&U, on behalf of age-enhanced men everywhere, I apologize for that jerk and the (probably) many other asshats you have or will encounter over your lifetime.

That’s okay…it happens. Old white men and black dudes loooooooove me.

 
 

we’re in america, god damnit, speak slang

 
 

I don’t care who does who or what or when except my preference is men and men who have a:

1) southern drawl – preferably Arkansas and down, not southeast
2) French – Quebecan, Louisiana, maybe Parisian
3) Irish
4) West African/creole
5) Spanish – Puerto-Rican and Latin American, in that order
6) Italian
7) Anything else exotic but understandable to my ears, spoken slow with a nice clean smile and genteel nature.

The rest I don’t care, really because they’d probably not find me that interesting anyway.

 
 

Shameless blogwhore: new post about the voice-over actor fired because of Freedomworks fatwah.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Shameless blogwhore: new post about the voice-over actor fired because of Freedomworks fatwah.

I heard about that! Fucked up.

 
 

a. a straight female — Southern
b. a gay female — French
c. a bisexual male — NYC
d. a gay male — Noo Joisey
e. a bisexual female — Italian
f. a straight male — Boston
g. a person who likes fish — Gloucester

 
 

I dunno, if you have multiple butts that could make for a long conversation.

Yes, but see that’s ACTUALLY talking about them, not TRYING to talk about them.

PS Multiple Butts is my new band name.

 
 

I like that actor has been pervin’ on folk here so long that he has his own shorthand for the transaction. That is a sign of true dedication and a mark of the master dirty bastard.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I dunno, if you have multiple butts that could make for a long conversation.

Multiple butts on one person? That could be disturbing.

 
 

a mark of the master dirty bastard.

Fiqsed for more nearness to the reality of the situation. And great justice.

 
 

Multiple butts on one person?

The only way I can think of that this phrase would be non-freakish is for there to be some kind of ashtray costume involved.

Which isn’t all that non-freakish, I guess.

 
 

How hard is it
I thought this was a safe place.

 
 

Smut Clyde plays the Trigger Card.

 
 

Multiple butts on one person?

Oh I dunno, Scroll down to the second picture. Doesn’t seem that freakish to me. Freaky maybe.

(mostly SFW unless your corporate masters keep you on an especially short leash)

 
 

Doesn’t seem that freakish to me. Freaky maybe.

Ha! I definitely need to work on my pervy interpretation skillz.

 
 

555th?

 
 

On to a thousand!

 
The Other Rusty Shackleford
 

a. French
b. French
c. French
d. French
e. French
f. French
g. French

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Endless thread is endless.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Now Mr. T&U is cornered by a drunk dude who wants to make a film about me. Weird day.

 
 

Honest question: what makes you so interesting that someone would want to shoot a film about you?

 
 

I mean, jeez, you bring that up and kill the thread for fifteen minutes.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I have big boobs?

Honestly, I have no idea.

 
 

Oh, and as king of the incredibly slow “snappy” comeback:

Hey, some of my best friends are redheads!

…but you wouldn’t want your daughter to marry one, right?

 
 

T&U, ahem. I’m just sayin is all.

 
 

I see PeeJ is behind on sexy librarian news.

 
 

PeeJ has news of sexy librarian behinds?

 
 

PeeJ has news of sexy librarian behinds?

Man, I guess Actor’s gone AWOL so I’ll do it:

I!! W? N?

 
No-Visible-Means
 

*cracks beer* Well, lets see if anybody got a chuckle from my Take Your Clothes Off But Leave Your Hat On vs “fox with no lid” reference.
Aw fer craps sake!!
(Note to self. Never, ever, EVER, mention Joe Cocker again. It begets Belushi posts which beget SNL posts which beget Carol Burnnett posts which beget flamewars over “varietey shows” vs “comedy shows”!!)
What. Have. I. Done.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

PeeJ has news of sexy librarian behinds?

One of the best kinds! For preference, in a would-be-demure tweed skirt.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“Cuz, you know, I! W? N?”

I lulled @ your shorthand. Not a veiled, etc.

 
 

I missed something? Meh, gin gets in the way, y’know?

 
 

If Dock Ellis could throw a no-hitter while flying, there’s hope for us all.

That’s an amazing story. I know one of the guys involved in making a documentary about it.

(Yes, yes, I am so cool)

 
 

a. Goat
b. Goat
c. Goat
d. Two Goats
e. Goat
f. Goat
g. Capricorn

 
No-Visible-Means
 

Now Mr. T&U is cornered by a drunk dude who wants to make a film about me. Weird day.

Mr. T&U is your agent? Smart lady! Keep the money in the family I always say.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Okay, weird guy left. Turns out I’m just inspiration. Also, too, my husband is passed out in the car.

 
 

PeeJ has news of sexy librarian behinds?

One of the best kinds! For preference, in a would-be-demure tweed skirt.

Only if he’s got the legs for it.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Only if he’s got the legs for it.

Good point. But they always do, in naughty librarian land.

 
 

If you’ve got the behind, you usually have the legs. The opposite isn’t always true IME.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

“in naughty librarian land.”

They have a sexy accent there, as well.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mmmmmmm…tweed…

 
His name is Yossarian, Sir
 

a. Bob Dylan
b. Bob Dylan
c. Bob Dylan
d. Bob Dylan
e. Bob Dylan
f. Bob Dylan
g. Josh Ritter

I’m just sayin’ …

Also Too.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

Dylan? Dude’s got a stuh-range accent. What the fuck is that? Minnesota by way of 90-year old Mississippi bluesman transplanted to New York?

 
 

I’ve dated two Canadian women now. As a straight male, I do not find their accent the slightest bit sexy. “Ouwwoot and Abouwwoot” is just NOT a turn on. Now an Irish accent on the other hand, that kills me.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

They have a sexy accent there, as well.

Do they? I didn’t think anyone was allowed to speak there.

 
His name is Yossarian, Sir
 

There was an ancient program for the Mac called The Talking Moose which would pop u a cartoon moose from time to time that had an accent that was described as Toronto by way of Saturn.

Not what you’d call conventionally sexy

 
 

It is not Australian.

Neither is it Austrian.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

HNiY,S – I remember the Talking Moose very well. The voice it used was a voice synth called Macintalk, and that description of the accent is very accurate.

I was happy that Macintalk was cast as the voice of the evil autopilot in Wall-E. Good to see the old fellow can still get work.

 
Tea Party USA Freedom
 

You liberals threaten our freedom so we will threaten you!

 
 

Old white men and black dudes loooooooove me.

Hmph.

 
 

naughty librarian land.

I want to live there!!

And the accent is all hushed whispers. Very seductive….

 
 

Also, too, my husband is passed out in the car.

How fast is he going?

 
 

Minnesotan? I’ve seen that a couple times in here. Haha. as in Fargo, or as in Grumpy Old Men? I’m a Minnesotan, so I like it, although can be also kinda bored by it.

My fiance is Canadian. I LOOOVE his accent. So, #1

Number two, Russian. Hot beyond belief.

Number three, French (yeah I know, but it’s still the most beautiful language in the world)

Various Southern accents – well, yah, they’re interesting and cute, and I lived down South enough as a kid to be able to imitate them to perfection, and they’re melodic, but I’ve heard them out of the mouths of too many scummy Southern politicians to really like them. Bill and Hillary excepted – even though they are DEFINITELY too centrist for me.

 
 

I’ve dated two Canadian women now.

The accent is different in different parts, furthest east being nicest for the English I think.

 
 

The best hieroglyphics come from Sumeria. Those poseurs in Egypt write like Hitites!

Excuse me??? Everyone knows that Sumerians can scarcely write their names in the ground with a stick! The hieroglyphs in my tomb are art, boy, each one lovingly carved to glorify both my mortal and immortal life.

What next? Nubians build a better pyramid??

 
 

B) Betazoid, Counselor Troi dialect.

(And goddammit, Dameon, the bi women do NOT get Lucy Lawless! We paid for her! Look at this receipt! It says she is ours, ours, ours!)

 
 

Nubians build a better pyramid??

If you whip ’em right.

 
 

WTF? Where new thred?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

New thread? Why? This one isn’t completely used up yet. I mean hell, we just got to nubile naughty librarians from Sumeria. There’s still so much more to cover.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

600?

 
 

600 is a big number. I should read each and every one. Oh, maybe not. Hello, everyone! Good night.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Train wreck brewing at The Corner.

It’s just what I wanted. How did you know?

 
 

Train wreck brewing at The Corner.

That’s actually pretty good. I give this Manzi character six months before joining Balloon Juice.

 
 

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, indeed.

We all knew this day would come … yep, it finally happened: SkyNet is self-aware … & being a peckish Frankenstein, it’s just made an hors d’œuvre out of the PCs of all those businesses too tight-assed &/or too busy to upgrade to an OS that’s less then 9 years old.

IRONYGASM DU JOUR: The worst cybernetic disaster of the year isn’t a worm, or a Trojan, or malware – it’s a friggin’ anti-virus update.

McAfee apologizes for any inconvenience to our customers

– but our EULA says we’re scott-free on this global clusterfuck, so kiss our digital hiney, drones! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 
 

The [Canukian] accent is different in different parts [of the country]

Crap, the accent is different in different parts of Vancouver. You get a variety pack from “typical Cheesehead” to “erudite Brit” to “just off the boat from Hong Kong” and just about everything in between. ‘Bout the only accent I haven’t heard up there is Hispanic.

Now I’m off to read some NRO.

 
 

Had a drink with a salesman once. He said he lo-o-oved the way Southern women talked “Mmm, sounds like they’re pouring honey!”
I was stationed in Italy for two years. Gotta say, the two words I liked hearing best from the ladies there were “aspetta” (wait) and “cinque” (five). What the words meant was meaningless. I just really liked the sound of the words.
I heard of an experiment where a young woman read a bunch of French words. The guys hearing her would be, um, very excited. Turned out she was reading a list of vegetables in French.

 
 

So…read the slap fight among the leading lights of NRO. Ooh, somebody was dismissive and used a bad tone against somebody else! The horror!

To start with I’m not seeing much in the way of “lively debate” on the right unless you count one guy reading from the first paragraph of the RNC blastfax vs another reading the third para.

Second, the best counter-argument to Manzi’s dismissal of Levin’s book they could come up with is “well he, uh, did good work before.” How ’bout they point out the depth and richness of his research? Oh right, he actually used Google before spewing his bullshit which makes him a regular fucking David McCullough compared to Jonah and K-lo.

Never mind, then.

 
 

I assume you mean when speaking English.

a. a straight female ~ American Southerner.
b. a gay female ~ Northern Italian.
c. a bisexual male ~ Parisian.
d. a gay male ~ Catalan.
e. a bisexual female ~ East German.
f. a straight male ~ Upper Class English.
g. a person who likes fish ~ American New Englander.

Call this a stereotypo.

 
 

a) Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s talking about how smart I am.
b) Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s talking about how handsome I am.
c) I totally made some quiche tonight. It was to die for.
d) I have 187 columns coming out next week talking about how terrific Kagan would be and how anybody who doesn’t think so is a creepy weirdo who smells funny.
e) Any accent as long as it’s telling me how nice my tie looks.
f) Any accent, as long as it’s telling me how pleasant my voice sounds.
g) Yglesias is mad at me because I was supposed to hang out with him at his dad’s beachhouse but Meggers showed up at my door in a paisley summer dress and clutching a bottle of Merlot and you know how E$ rolls. Hells yeah.

Well I can’t waste any more time with you guys tonight. My mirror is waiting for me. I’m the Mind of the Moment, baby.

 
Just Alison, back from the semi-dead
 

T&U, I’m with you on the Welsh. In fact, I find it hard to pay attention to what they’re saying because I’m bewitched by the lilt and lost in a dreamy fantasy of dragging them off and having my way with them.

Personally I find Aussie accents very intriguing – on a woman, anyway. Steve Irwinism, not so much.

Hey, thanks, Pere. You’re right, Steve Irwin was a complete knobhead: his habit of blithely going about and interfering with animals who were minding their own business used to infuriate me. I was secretly glad when he was killed by one, although I was angry again shortly thereafter because of all the yobbo fans who promptly got completely pissed and went out and mutilated them some stingrays. Complete fucksticks. The rays don’t come up on land and bother the yobbos in their utes, so why should the yobbos think they have license to go into the rays’ world and bother them?

Jesus they made me cranky. But back on topic: mmmm, accents. But more so, voices. James Earl Jones has one of the sexiest voices on the planet, as does Sean Connery. I’d also put in a vote for the entire cast of The Snapper, and Leon Lai Ming: Leon is from Beijing, and has that lovely soft musical accent (Cantonese has harder consonants and more tones, so sounds more sing-song). He also has the advantage of being a dancer, which gives him a body to make grown women weep (or thereabouts). And he’s apparently well-endowed, because, and I quote, “they grow ’em big up north”.

 
 

Can I go for Quarian? Somewhere between Iranian gypsy and geeky girl.

 
Just Alison, back from the semi-dead
 

Marion, I’m with you on the eely hovercraft: no matter how many times I’ve heard it (and I’ve heard it a lot) it still makes me giggle so much I sometimes say it to myself (and yes, that makes me giggle).

Voices: Bruce Payne. He’s one who could read the phone book and I’d be shouting “Yes, I must have you!”. He could have a face like a cat’s bum (he doesn’t) and a body made of pipe-cleaners (he also doesn’t – dude does aikido), and I’d still get all gooey.

Ahem, excuse me a moment. I’ll be back soon, okay?

 
 

In trying to come up with my own little listie I discovered that most of the accents i find sexy in women (Aussie, Welsh, Northern Irish, Southern Italian) are brash, cheeky and lend themselves to dense streams colorful profanity. In other words, no surprise at all.

 
 

A Scottish Brogue.

 
 

Train wreck brewing at The Corner.

Awesome. According to his wiki page, Manzi’s been not-a-global-warming-denialist for some time and managed to draw a tut-tutting from Big Pharma way back in ought seven.

Best part though: Manzi’s claim is that Levin’s approach to climate change is a pretty good plain English meaning of epistemic closure. The response to his long and detailed post? Ad hominem. Way to McCarthy and K-Lo in address the basic argument he was making.

 
 

Hmmm, looks like some words missing. Probably should had some coffee before.

 
 

Good for Jim Manzi, but that whole thing is hilarious: “Conservatives are totally open-minded and thoughtful enough to have real debates on ideas and stuff!” “OK, here’s one: Mark Levin’s book was wrong and sloppy on this topic, and here’s why…” “PURGE THE HEATHEN!”

 
 

“PURGE THE HEATHEN!”

I hope someone remembered to bring bag and hose.

 
 

Nothing like the smell of 36 hour old thread to wake a man up in the morning.

 
 

From the NRO debate Subby links to. K-LoI love debate, as people here know, but to treat Mark Levin as a mere “entertainer” who was just looking for a bestseller is to not know Mark Levin or have taken his book seriously.Dude…and I call you dude knowing full well you’re just a chick¹, Levin proposes evidence that is based on rumour and innuendo, based on pseudo-science and outright falsehood.

So, like FOX News and the NRO, Levin is, indeed, mere entertainment.

.

.

¹ Cuz she’s a wrong-headed naive little woman, and “chick” in this use is not intended as a smear against women in general and women who actually use their brains in particular. As the women on Sadly, No! evidence, there are plenty of women on the planet.

 
 

The response to his long and detailed post? Ad hominem.

Well, can you blame The Chimp and The Blimp? They couldn’t wrap their heads around the detailed argument Levin presents, so they focused on the caveman “Ugh, him idiot” portion.

 
 

“PURGE THE HEATHEN!”

I really do miss “Firing Line.” You could always tell when someone like Galbraith scored a direct hit, Buckley would only smile like a moron.

 
 

And, DKW, you will inform us when Jonah finally gets around to responding, won’t you? Based on history, it should be aroung the middle of June or so.

 
 

…won’t you?

What, regularly read the Children of the Corner for eight weeks? No.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Old white men and black dudes loooooooove me.

Hmph.

*sigh* I always forget how sensitive men are. I apologize for making a sweeping statement that may have offended old white men, black dudes, and/or people who loooooooove me.

Similarly, I would like to apologize to Actor for associating him with a creepy, unattractive man who wants to show women his nature pictures. Although I cannot attest to his attractiveness, I assume that he is more attractive than the previously mentioned man; furthermore, he is not creepy, only slightly pervy, and etchings are far more interesting than nature pictures.

Now I’m off to read the little tiff at NRO.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

PS: Kingubu loooooves me. He wants to have, like, 10 million of my babies.

 
 

Similarly, I would like to apologize to Actor for associating him with a creepy, unattractive man who wants to show women his nature pictures.

That’s how rumours get started.

Now…can I show you my etchings?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Now…can I show you my etchings?

Oooh, ETCHINGS!!!!

 
 

Oooh, ETCHINGS!!!!

Perhaps I can now show you my stylus…

 
 

No updates on the Corner tickle fight. K-Lo has apparently laid down the law – no more 11th commandment-breaking.

 
 

no more 11th commandment-breaking

Thou shalt not disagree?

 
 

Swedish Chef for the fish one

 
 

600+ postings? What, somebody bring up the 9-11 twoofers??

 
 

600 comments, pfft. Even 3Bulls can hit 1200 comments once in a while.

 
 

Its not Australian? Just give me an ice cream cone and tell me not to lick it.

 
 

I have to agree with Johnny Coelacanth regarding the unfathomable hawtness of women with Scottish accents… my primary case in point being Shirley Manson of Garbage. i’m absolutely madly in lust with that woman

 
 

a. a straight female – English, something husky please.
b. a gay female – Californian
c. a bisexual male – French Canadian
d. a gay male – Guatemalan (think Hank Azaria from Bird Cage)
e. a bisexual female – Italian
f. a straight male – American Midwest
g. a person who likes fish – French (Jacques Pepin or Jacques Cousteau or Black Jacques Shellac from Bugs Bunny)

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

a. Bronx
b. Bronx
c. Bronx
d. Chelsea
e. Bronx
f. Bronx
g. Romanian

 
 

the islands. Jamaican women. good vibes all day and all night.

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

But you had no problem when your French girlfriend called out “Wee”? Veeery interesting…

It was more like, “Wheeee!”

 
 

a. a straight female
French
b. a gay female
Mancunian
c. a bisexual male
Southern Irish
d. a gay male
RP
e. a bisexual female
Californian or Australian
f. a straight male
Not sure
g. a person who likes fish
John Cleese’s accent

 
 

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