I’ve been sashaying around the right-wing Internutz looking for one of its loonier denizens to get all riled up about how the Negro-in-Chief had the gall to force hospitals to let dykes and fags visit their so-called families. I mean certainly there would be someone out there who couldn’t resist saying, à la John Cornyn, that the order meant that people could have box turtles visit them on their deathbeds and make critical choices for them about their end-of-life care.
But I wasn’t coming up with much. Even at Ace O’Play-Doh and Bacon’s place, one of his substitute blogging minions had to admit that he was “glad” that the President was ending a “bad thing.” I was about to abandon the whole enterprise, head home and curl up with a nice tumbler of 60-year-old MacCutcheon whisky when, lo and behold, B. Daniel Blatt, The World’s Dumbest Homosexual™ (aka The Only Gay Man in Los Angeles Who Hasn’t Had Sex Since He Blew His Best Friend In the Basement In Sixth Grade™ aka The Gay Neville Chamberlain™) brings it home with a post in which he laments Obama’s order as a violation of the right of private hospitals to make their own policies (and, apparently, take gobs of federal funding at the same time.)
First, I believe any individual should be able to designate people who can visit him when he’s been hospitalized. I also believe private hospitals should be free to set their own policies. And I question whether the president has the authority to do so. And if he does, wonder what kind of precedent would this set. [Does anyone proofread Dan's shit? - Ed.] Will a future president impose other such mandates on hospitals?
Like, you know, forcing them to treat gay people or requiring their care-givers to wash their hands before treating patients. I mean, next thing you know, the nanny state will be telling hospitals that they can’t permit surgeons to operate while drunk, thereby destroying the very basis of our free market economy and leading to the end of the United States as we know it.
Permit me to stop joking around for a moment and to say something directly for a change. Dan Blatt is a loathsome piece of shit who will sell out other gay people in order to curry the favor of straight Republicans who pat him on the head every now but then call him a cock-sucking heels-in-the-air fudge-packed girlie-boy behind his back (even though only the girlie-boy part is actually true). Dan says all this stuff because the probability that any gay man would ever give enough of a shit about Dan to visit him in a hospital, much less to have a relationship with him, is remote — as remote as the possibility that Dan will ever have sex with anyone other than a blind leper in a darkened truck stop in rural Alabama, and even then the leper will have to down a fifth of Jack Daniel’s before he can bring himself to do it. Fuck you, Dan, you wretched, illiterate prick.
There. I said it. I feel better. We now return to our originally scheduled snark.