Apr
4

Sometimes A Walrus Is Just A Walrus




Posted at 19:45 by Tintin


Newsblusterer Noel Sheppard is all blustered up because Chris Matthews called Rush Limbaugh an “underwater walrus.” The cause for Noel’s concern is not that Rush doesn’t indeed bear a striking resemblance to a drenched walrus in an open black shirt. No, Noel is clutching his pearls over this because he thinks that “underwater walrus” is an obscene reference of some kind.

Say what? Does he mean this walrus? Has Noel been sneaking onto the Urban Dictionary site again when his wife was out shopping? No, apparently Noel is thinking of this NSFW YouTube video which, surprisingly, was completely unknown to me until Noel was kind enough to point it out.

Of course, the real question is not whether Matthews was calling a Rush an obese, leather-skinned auto-fellating sea mammal, which, really, is far too kind given Rush’s two obvious physical impediments to auto-fellation. No, the real question is how the prissy-pants Newsblusterer himself knew about this video. Or why it was the first thing that popped into his mind when he heard the word walrus. And how often he’s seen it. And what he does while watching it. And whether Noel is this woman’s husband.

At least Matthews didn’t call Limbaugh an angry pirate.

374 Comments »

  1. soullite said,

    April 4, 2010 at 19:49

    Why couldn’t I have been born a Walrus?

  2. Ugluks Flea said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:11

    Seems to me Noel is just jealous that Rush has a bukkit. So jealous, in fact, that Noel probably was the one that did stole said bukkit.

  3. H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:13

    c.f. Ron Jeremy. A-and Matt Drudge is the Egg Man. It all makes sense now! Goo goo ga joob!

  4. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:14

    I always thought of rush as a heartland steamer. Evacuating midwestern snetiment in a steaming coil of heartland rage onto the chest of eager america.

  5. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:18

    Come (veiled ejaculation reference) to think about it, how haven’t we snide city snobs gotten around to giving limbaugh the santorum/stupak treatment?

    What should it be to limbaugh a sexual partner?

  6. not a gator said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:20

    Something that causes them to run away screaming, I should think. Unless your partner harbors a secret masochism.

  7. not a gator said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:22

    This youtube walrus is funny. What is not funny is the adolescent walrus at Seaworld. Named “Dozer” he is called “The Wanky Walrus” behind his back. He is very lonely and spends his days masturbating himself on the equipment. He has this kind of glazed look, like he’s waiting for death.

    I fucking hate Seaworld.

  8. John D. said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:23

    Did Matthews really say that about Limbaugh? I suppose it falls under the “Even A Broken Clcok Is Right Twice A Day” Rule.

    Good on you, Mattehews…you otherwise worthless piece of shit.

  9. stogoe said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:42

    I’m thinking that a ‘limbaugh’ is the recipient of an upper decker.

  10. Dan Someone said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:50

    I would think that Limbaughing would be traveling to a third-world island nation for purposes of, er, congress with underage youths. Sort of bending over backwards to slip under the age-of-consent barrier. Limbaugh, limbaugh, limbaugh!

  11. Anna Nicole Sith said,

    April 4, 2010 at 20:57

    I don’t know how Limbaugh could be upset about THAT. The first prerequisite of auto-fellatio is that you HAVE a dick.

  12. pedestrian said,

    April 4, 2010 at 21:20

    I love the male voice in the background of the video. “You’re gross. I wonder why he’s doing that. That’s pretty weird.”

    Like you aren’t jealous, dude.

  13. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 4, 2010 at 21:39

    Well, if I could do that, I certainly wouldn’t come (barely-obscured semen reference) out of the water.

  14. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 4, 2010 at 21:41

    Noel could have meant this.

  15. Snowwy said,

    April 4, 2010 at 21:53

    OK Substance, thank you. I was going to have a late breakfast of sausage. Note the “was”.

  16. itwasntme said,

    April 4, 2010 at 21:54

    are…are you implying that Rush is really fat and has a really small dick? Oh nos!

  17. g said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:02

    You know, I really don’t need to click on that. Nope. Can’t think of any reason to.

  18. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:06

    There is a surprise at the end.

  19. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:22

    There is a surprise at the end.

    Is it… is it Grover?

  20. Looch said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:27

    Well, there are a few jokes that come to mind:

    1) “Why does a dog lick his balls?”
    “Because he can.”

    2) My reaction to this whole walrus thing? “Oosick!”

  21. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:40

    On topic! Walrus Todd Huston:

    But, suddenly mother Madonna is hopeful that her own 13-year-old daughter, Lourdes, will “dress more conservatively.” Sex is bad all of a sudden when Madonna is talking about her own child.

    Dear Walrus Todd: Madonna’s daughter is 13 and Madonna was 24 when her first album was released.

  22. M. Bouffant said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:48

    Honest to gawd, that Noël! What a fucking sissified moron.

    Was this a vulgar reference to a walrus video that went somewhat viral on YouTube last year?

    It wasn’t, but it would have been “A reference to a vulgar walrus video,” not what stupid typed. If it went “somewhat viral” (Is that like having “half a cold?”) why would a square like Tweety even know bout it?

    Keep grasping at those straws, Brent Bozo & staff!

  23. pedestrian said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:49

    And whether Noel is this woman’s husband

    Perhaps the greatest hardship for women who fear they have lost (or are losing) a husband to Internet porn is the absence of a public consensus about the harmful effects of pornography on marriage.

    If the worst thing about losing your spouse is the fact that not everyone agrees with you on a complex social issue, your marriage may have had some other issues.

  24. M. Bouffant said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:57

    Sex is bad all of a sudden when Madonna is talking about her own child.

    W.T. Houston is now confusing clothing w/ sex?

    W.T.’s “inspiration,” the US article, is a little more about McDonna’s & doughters new clothing line than about Lourdes being a slut. Can’t wait for the pix of L. in her slit to the navel top & panty-revealing micro-mini. Oh, it hasn’t happened?

  25. M. Bouffant said,

    April 4, 2010 at 22:59

    “Doughter:” You figure it out!

  26. Till said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:09

    “Doughter:”
    Veiled Pantload reference? *shudder*

  27. Loneoak said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:12

    Limbaugh: (v) To use illegally obtained cocktails of Viagra and Oxycontin in order to maintain sexual arousal long enough to commit statutory rape with young Puerto Rican males.

  28. Loneoak said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:16

    LOL, I just tried to post a definition of “to limbaugh” that included references to hillbilly heroin and the purple boner pill and it got spam filtered.

    limbaugh: (v) the use of illegally obtained [hillbilly heroin] and [purple boner pill] in pursuit of maintaining arousal long enough to achieve satisfaction upon the body of an underaged male Puerto Rican.

  29. Loneoak said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:16

    Oh, apparently it got through.

  30. Wally McFalseequivalence said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:54

    Why is it that these liberals loooooove sex all the time except when I’m all “hey baby, let’s go to my mom’s basement”? A double standard?

  31. Wally McFalseequivalence said,

    April 4, 2010 at 23:57

    And also, if Adam and Steve are sticking their wieners in each other’s lubed-up buttholes (eww gross) the liberals loooooooooove that and want them to get married and shove their icky lifestyle down our throats but when it’s our brave mercenaries sticking a glowstick up a prisoner’s butt, that’s terrible and a “war crime” and “inhumane”.

  32. Lesley said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:05

    Though Rush might do better in water because he’d float, unfortunately he’s a land monster.

  33. Candy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:10

    That woman in the background is so annoying I just wanted to jump through the screen and pop her one. I’d be willing to bet they live in the suburbs and drove to the aquarium in a Suburban. “ZOMG he’s doing it is the worst place!!!1!” Lemme ask you sumthin’, lady: If you were that walrus, where exactly would you go for privacy? That walrus can’t fly to the Dominican Republic to take his pleasure, and I’ll bet it’s a little hard to score Oxies at Seaworld, specially when you’re underwater.

    And you wanna know why he’s doing it? Because he damned well can.

  34. John from Liverpool said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:10

    I told you about the walrus and me-man
    You know that we’re as close as can be-man.
    Well here’s another clue for you all,
    The walrus was Paul.

  35. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:14

    Noel sounds like a country blumpkin.

  36. Mysticdog said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:22

    How did I manage to get to this ripe old age without ever once wondering what a walrus dick looked like, much less if he could autofellate.

    Now I wonder if I can ever forget. Please let me forget.

  37. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:31

    How did I manage to get to this ripe old age without ever once wondering what a walrus dick looked like, much less if he could autofellate.

    You are neither a marine biologist nor a republican.

  38. purvis ames said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:35

    Someone is confused here. Rush Limbaugh is not a walrus; he’s an elephant seal.

  39. Spengler Dampniche said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:38

    Erm, is there a newsletter or website perhaps that um ah where I can as it were get more information on this erm topic? I’m doing research for a [fapittafapittafapitta] erm garn urgh [splurg splurg splurg splurg splurt glip glop shiver] sorry.

  40. Tacitus Voltaire said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:40

    neither a marine biologist

    i shall decline to reference the appropriate academic papers

  41. Spengler Dampniche said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:41

    You can tell this orca’s not a Republican because he didn’t stiff this guy the tip.

  42. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 0:58

    Actually, Matthews would have been [aying Limbaugh a high compliment.

    A walrus on land is a fat slob of an animal who has to heave himself to move a few feet, and thus spends most of his beach time sunning himself and arguing with other males over the right to sexually abuse women.

    A walrus under water, in his element, is a graceful agile animal who can zip to and fro.

    In other words, we need to drown Rush.

  43. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:00

    A thread about walruses is up for over an hour and not ONE Bukkit reference???????

    FOR SHAME, Naughts, for shame…

  44. mmy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:00

    Someone is much, much better at Photoshop than me.

  45. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:01

    Oops. Missed Ugluks reference. Mea culpa.

  46. noen said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:18

    “Dear Walrus Todd: Madonna’s daughter is 13 and Madonna was 24 when her first album was released.”

    It’s a fair point though. Well all think that the rules adults place on us when we are children are oppressive. Then when we become parents ourselves… meh, not so much. Children do need rules and structure. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. But there’ll always be this push-pull between too much and too little permissiveness.

    Warner Todd however should not reproduce.

  47. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:18

    What should it be to limbaugh a sexual partner?

    To have a heart attack at the moment of climax.

  48. noen said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:19

    “To have a heart attack at the moment of climax.”

    I thought that was John Wayne Gacy’s thing?

  49. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:30

    “To have a heart attack at the moment of climax.”

    I thought that was John Wayne Gacy’s thing?

    Gacy, Limbaugh: two serial killers.

  50. Lesley said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:30

    Now I know the meaning of the lyrics I am the Walrus, goo goo ga chew.

  51. M. Bouffant said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:41

    not ONE Bukkit reference???????

    Are we not better than that?

  52. Woodrowfan said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:45

    A thread about walruses is up for over an hour and not ONE Bukkit reference???????

    FOR SHAME, Naughts, for shame…

    sorry, was having dinner….

  53. Bilo said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:52

    Limbaugh – verb – to marry three women in a row, and have them all leave you, and know that the problem is you.

  54. justme said,

    April 5, 2010 at 1:54

    Dear Walrus Todd: Madonna’s daughter is 13 and Madonna was 24 when her first album was released.

    Well, if you’re the head of the Catholic League, 13 is post-pubescent so it’s okay.

  55. M. Bouffant said,

    April 5, 2010 at 2:09

    Funny you should mention it … (That means I’m pimpin’.)

    Bill (Walrus) Donohue also cranks out a press release saying puberty starts at ten for boys, so go for it, priests!

  56. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    April 5, 2010 at 2:20

    No one’s said Baculum yet.

  57. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    April 5, 2010 at 2:21

    Baculum!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum

  58. Zarquon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 2:44

    semen!

  59. Zarquon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 2:45

    fywp
    semen!

  60. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:10

    It’s a fair point though. Well all think that the rules adults place on us when we are children are oppressive.

    Again, Madonna was 24, and not rebelling against the rule of parents.

    But sure, parents don’t want their kids to do some of the things they did. You know who else wanted to keep kids in line? PATLER.

  61. jim said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:35

    Sigh … that video brings back some very fond memories … alas, I’m just not limber enough for that anymore.

    As one would expect, the comments are much more enriched with lulz than the already-ridiculous article itself:

    Calling Obama a socialist is mild, Marxist is close but Hitler is right on. He is hiring 16,000 IRS agents (SS troops) to dig into every orifice of your life and threaten you or worse if you do not buy health insurance. I fear that is just the begining, what will they have the power to do next.

    The Waffen-IRS can have my every orifice when they pry it from my cold dead humorless dildo!

  62. Pere Ubu said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:38

    He is hiring 16,000 IRS agents (SS troops) to dig into every orifice of your life

    More bodily orifices being dug into, eh?

    WTF IS IT WITH THESE PEOPLE

  63. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:45

    Some people have lives and cannot schedule 16,000 people into their orifices. See DKW’s mom.

  64. Dr. Psycho said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:46

    “What should it be to limbaugh a sexual partner?”

    Me: Pay, obviously.

    Mrs. Psycho: Short them on their pay.

  65. pedestrian said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:48

    Again, Madonna was 24, and not rebelling against the rule of parents.

    Yes, but she didn’t marry Sean Penn until she was 27, so technically she still belonged to her father.

  66. Punishing Dildo Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 3:49

    “What should it be to limbaugh a sexual partner?”

    Some sort of weird perversion involving oxycontin?

  67. islmfaoscist said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:02

    He is hiring 16,000 IRS agents

    I know it’s not totally made-up bullshit cause I heard a walrus honking it just the other day. Of course, he might have actually said “Irish anuses” it was hard to tell cause he was talking around his own dick at the time.

  68. Punishing Snotchos Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:08

    Maybe Obama’s acutally hiring 16,000 Anus agents.

    .
    .
    .
    .

    See, “anus” sound like IRS if you don’t listen to close aaaaaaaaaaaaannnd…

    …aaaand I’ll be over here in the corner with my head hung in shame if anyone needs me.

  69. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:08

    Also, the IRS = SS? Really? I don’t know about you, but the IRS has got miles upon miles of road to go before they even approach the fashion sense of the Gestapo, let alone the socio-political abhorrence. These fucking people must be terrified of everything if a fucking tax agent makes them urinate all over themselves.

  70. Punishing Snotchos Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:14

    These fucking people must be terrified of everything if a fucking tax agent makes them urinate all over themselves.

    They should be glad they aren’t really Revolutionaries ’cause I heard the British had anus agents all over the damn place back in the day.

    Paine went everywhere with his back to the wall, just in case.

  71. Bob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:30

    Goo goo ga joob!

  72. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:37

    This far with no Beatles reference? Slipping, Sadlynauts.

  73. M. Bouffant said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:38

    my head hung in shame

    No shame in being old, wretched & Norm Crosby. You wouldn’t believe what I hear them saying on the tee vee lately.

    Also: Hearing aids.

  74. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:40

    Goo goo ga joob!

    Whoa.

  75. s9 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:40

    I have no joke here. I just like saying Rush “Oosik” Limbaugh.

  76. jim said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:40

    I don’t know about you, but the IRS has got miles upon miles of road to go before they even approach the fashion sense of the Gestapo, let alone the socio-political abhorrence.

    Yeah – just imagine what a mellow, laid-back, low-key response the Gestapo would’ve had to someone crashing an airplane into their headquarters & encouraging others to follow suit.

    Also interesting that the same people baaaawing about “OMG teh revenooers are EXACTLY LIKE THE SS!!!!!1111!!!!!11!” just spent many moons waving their ideolgical pompoms in favor of state-sanctioned waterboarding.

    *SPROING*

    Damn, whaddaya know – yet another irony-meter bites the dust.

  77. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:45

    Calling Obama a socialist is mild, Marxist is close but Hitler is right on. He is hiring 16,000 IRS agents (SS troops) to dig into every orifice of your life and threaten you or worse if you do not buy health insurance. I fear that is just the begining, what will they have the power to do next.

    Ya know, I always find it scary when I hear and see things that nobody else can see. I makes me wonder if I took that one last hit of acid that finally finished off my occipital and temporal lobes.

  78. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:47

    TEH IRS IS THE SS OF…..
    ….

    um

    …..

    stuff. OMFg!!!!

  79. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:47

    They should be glad they aren’t really Revolutionaries ’cause I heard the British had anus agents all over the damn place back in the day.

    Are you saying the British had some Yankee Doodle dandies running around?

  80. H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:48

    This far with no Beatles reference? Slipping, Sadlynauts.

    I covered it by the third comment- low-hanging fruit, don’tcha know?

  81. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 4:52

    Anyway, I propose that from now on, we just refer to every last man jack of these people as “Piddles”.

  82. Simon Foster said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:01

    A walrus? I’m not fat, I don’t even have a mustache. Fuck, they’ve given me tusks.

  83. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:05

    Also, to be entirely honest, Urban Dictionary is beginning to wear on my soul as well. Not quite as much as 4chan or the right-wing Piddles you people keep trying to get me off the boat to look at, but still… that definition of walrus haunts me.

  84. Pere Ubu said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:11

    Are you saying the British had some Yankee Doodle dandies running around?

    I’m just sayin’ there’s a reason</I<Franklin spent so much time in France.

    #insert generic double-entendre

  85. Pere Ubu said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:12

    Wheeeee! TAG FAIL

    FYWP

  86. Matt T. said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:21

    Ya know, if Rush Limbaugh could suck his own dick, he probably wouldn’t be such a hateful ol’ turd. It must be hard on the soul to have to pay underage Dominican boys to do the deed.

  87. g said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:50

    Pay them? No, I think he probably just buys food for them. He pays their pimps.

  88. Anonymous said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:53

    I covered it by the third comment- low-hanging fruit, don’tcha know?

    Ouch–my apologies.

  89. pedestrian said,

    April 5, 2010 at 5:53

    that definition of walrus haunts me.

    I didn’t read it until you warned me not to. Fuck you, Trotsky. And fuck you, culture that we live in today.

  90. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:01

    I didn’t read it until you warned me not to. Fuck you, Trotsky. And fuck you, culture that we live in today.

    If I warned you not to jump off a bridge, would you do that too?

  91. Candy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:03

    Pay them? No, I think he probably just buys food for them. He pays their pimps.

    Oh, I doubt it. Food is for people who work for a living. If that boy wanted to eat, he’d get a real job.

  92. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:06

    Rush used to be called Rik

    Explanation for the sociopathy.

  93. El Cid said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:07

    Stop making fun of all the Odobenidae-Americans.

  94. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:12

    Stop posting stuff I gotta look up

  95. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:21

    For tsam.

  96. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:26

    That’s a disturbingly porn-free search, Substance. Wtf?

  97. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:30

    Nice zombie pics, though…

  98. Andy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:44

    I believe linked to this here a couple of years ago, but it seems relevant once again:

    http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-08-26-walrus-fossil_N.htm

    BACULUM.

  99. Andy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 6:48

    Oh, I see someone else beat me to BACULUM (but mine is capitalized, like PENIS).

  100. Matt T. said,

    April 5, 2010 at 8:36

    Totally OT, but some fratboy dipstick just hit from behind and jumped in a red Nissan Titan pick-up truck with out-of-state plates. Right outside my apartment, too. When I asked him “What was the point of that” as he seemed momentarily puzzled but nevertheless drove off. Welcome to New Orleans, Matt. Goddamn tourists.

  101. M. Bouffant said,

    April 5, 2010 at 8:59

    Matt, no serious harm done, I hope.

    Gawd, people are stupid & violent.

    I wish I were smart enough to come up w/ a neat, clean way to kill them all.

  102. teh Universal Schlong said,

    April 5, 2010 at 9:23

    You’ll never guess who taught him how to do that.

  103. justme said,

    April 5, 2010 at 10:56

    Are you saying the British had some Yankee Doodle Diddling dandies running around?

    flxxyd

    Also, let me get this straight. To limbaugh is to short-change your prepubescent Dominican rent-boy’s pimp?
    Meh. Not grody enough.

  104. Anonymous said,

    April 5, 2010 at 13:58

    Matt T. said:

    I saw a some guy run out
    He looked like a fratboy dipstick
    He jumped into a red Nissan Titan pick-up
    With out-of-state plates

    Sorry, it just doesn’t scan.

  105. bklyn said,

    April 5, 2010 at 14:24

    tweety said that rush “sounds like a walrus, an underwater walrus”
    oh, never mind.

  106. MrToad said,

    April 5, 2010 at 14:38

    “And whether Noel is this woman’s husband.”

    To interject a moment of levity-free confusion: that woman is nominally a rational individual (I won’t go so far as to say scientist) and she can’t or won’t distinguish between cause and effect? No wonder her husband bailed on her. Clearly “high-maintenance” and unenthusiastic about sex – that sounds like a recipe for a 4-year marriage to me.

  107. Punishing Snotchos Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:00

    tweety said that rush “sounds like a walrus, an underwater walrus”

    A reference to the Pigmanoid burbling he emits?

  108. Spengler Dampniche said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:09

    Meanwhile, OT, Erik the Red has already gotten himself in trouble with his CNN gig by suggesting he’ll shoot a census worker, should one wend its way to his secret underground lair. No link. It would spoil the fun.

  109. Pere Ubu said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:12

    Erik the Red has already gotten himself in trouble with his CNN gig by suggesting he’ll shoot a census worker, should one wend its way to his secret underground lair.

    “in trouble” as in a slap on the pee-pee or as in firing?

    If firing, well, migosh, nobody could have anticipated THAT, nuh-uh.

  110. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:17

    Meanwhile, OT, Erik the Red has already gotten himself in trouble with his CNN gig by suggesting he’ll shoot a census worker, should one wend its way to his secret underground lair. No link. It would spoil the fun.

    Awwww, please???? I fucking hate my life this morning and would be comforted greatly by it…

  111. lobbey said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:19

    Im now dreading the next Fox series; “When Animal’s masterbate”

  112. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:46

    Im now dreading the next Fox series; “When Animal’s masterbate”

    Already on. It features a manatee rubbing itself for an hour each day. It brings in all manner of other types of animals to join in the masturbation circle. It’s a highly rated show among pervy Fox viewers.

  113. Anonymous said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:49

    I always thought of him more as “Jabba the Wingnut.”

  114. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:53

    not ONE Bukkit reference???????

    Are we not better than that?

    Hi, have you been introduced to “Sadly, No!”?

  115. Jethro Q. Walrustitty said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:56

    I can assure my constituents that Rush Limbaugh is no relation of mine. Please vote for me in the Leicester general election.

  116. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 15:59

    MOOBS! (NSFW???)

  117. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:03

    MOOBS! (NSFW???)

    It was like looking at Roseanne Barr naked: I’m not sure whether to vomit or be fascinated.

  118. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:04

    Im now dreading the next Fox series; “When Animal’s masterbate”

    Why, Michelle Malkin was just on Friday night!

  119. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:07

    I’m not sure whether to vomit or be fascinated.

    Both??? I dunno…

    PS: I totally heard that drinking Busch will do this to a dude. So, yet another reason not to drink that nasty shit.

  120. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:09

    PS: I totally heard that drinking Busch will do this to a dude

    !!!!!!!

    *GASP*

    *SOB*

    And here I thought I discovered a new way of bodybuilding….*SOB*

  121. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:16

    And here I thought I discovered a new way of bodybuilding….*SOB*

    Yeah, uh, I hate to tell you, but those aren’t pecs….

  122. Martian Buddy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:18

    MOOBS! (NSFW???)

    Maybe this explains that odd warning about “mobys” on Althouse’s blarg–misspelled moobs reference.

  123. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:19

    Yeah, uh, I hate to tell you, but those aren’t pecs….

    I thought they sagged because I wasn’t lifting forties.

  124. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:26

    an angry pirate

    I confess, I looked this one up.

    *sigh*

    I worry for the future of my gender. Whatever happened to pulling out and hitting the headboard? In my day, THAT was a test of manhood!

  125. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:29

    I thought they sagged because I wasn’t lifting forties.

    I don’t know what to tell you. My rack-developing method was lifting bottles of strawberry Boone’s Farm, so I don’t have much experience with this kind of thing.

    And I can only guess as to what an angry pirate is…

  126. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:33

    And I can only guess as to what an angry pirate is…

    Let’s just say it’s not the kind of facial you get at the make-up counter in Macy’s.

  127. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:43

    Let’s just say it’s not the kind of facial you get at the make-up counter in Macy’s.

    Yeah, I figured that part out. I was just wondering about the “angry” thing…which probably means it’s a surprise, which is incredibly rude, especially in the eye.

    They give facials at eastcoastian Macy’s? Ours just has bored Clinique girls standing around with orange faces and too much eyeliner.

  128. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:43

    Let’s just say it’s not the kind of facial you get at the make-up counter in Macy’s.

    Of course, a walrus could make himself an angry pirate, which really pisses me off.

  129. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:44

    I was just wondering about the “angry” thing

    It involves an intentional injury to a body part…think “limping”

    Ours just has bored Clinique girls standing around with orange faces and too much eyeliner

    Ah, the Boehner Bueaty Academy has had its Frist graduates!

  130. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:44

    Bueaty

    Must. Get. Coffee.

  131. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:49

    It involves an intentional injury to a body part…think “limping”

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    Boys these days….

  132. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:58

    Ours just has bored Clinique girls standing around with orange faces and too much eyeliner.

    Perhaps they’re Cliniquel professors of makeupology.

  133. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:58

    Say it ain’t so, B.O.! You really ARE a Muslim!

  134. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 16:59

    Say it ain’t so, B.O.! You really ARE a Muslim!

    AAAH! I just came in here to post that!

    Perhaps they’re Cliniquel professors of makeupology

    They do wear white coats, like they’re doctors or some shit. I’m like, dude, you didn’t even graduate high school.

  135. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:00

    Also, tee hee.

  136. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:00

    AAAH! I just came in here to post that!

    You must be the only other Twit on Cliff Schecter’s Tweets

  137. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:01

    They do wear white coats, like they’re doctors or some shit. I’m like, dude, you didn’t even graduate high school.

    I agree – we need more sumptuary laws. I wear an engineer’s ring and I’m sure ZRM has the architect’s nose and scrotum piercings.

  138. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:02

    You must be the only other Twit on Cliff Schecter’s Tweets

    It was actually re-tweeted by someone I follow, but that’s who it originated from.

  139. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:03

    I’m like, dude, you didn’t even graduate high school.

    And they’re all like “With these tits and these teeth, I didn’t have to”

  140. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:03

    I’m sure ZRM has the architect’s nose and scrotum piercings.

    Oh, so THAT’S why the husband didn’t want to go to architecture school.

  141. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:04

    I agree – we need more sumptuary laws

    Well, Republicans already cornered the market on assholes…

  142. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:04

    And they’re all like “With these tits and these teeth, I didn’t have to”

    And then I’m all like, “You can drink a liter of Mountain Dew and do kegstands four days a week now, but just you wait…”

  143. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:05

    And they’re all like “With these tits and these teeth, I didn’t have to” I could have been a contender Pam Gellar.

    fiqqst

  144. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:06

    AAAH! I just came in here to post that!

    You gotta get up pretty early to outfox actor212.

    Well, maybe not.

    You can probably sleep in some.

    Get up before noon, maybe.

    Unless it’s a weekend.

  145. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:07

    I agree – we need more sumptuary laws

    Well, Republicans already cornered the market on assholes…

    Exactly. Think about medeval-style sumptuary laws we could enact now. For example: to be identified as a member of the Republican Party, you’d have to wear a pants-elephant (pockets inside out, fly open, dick hanging).

  146. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:08

    (pockets inside out, fly open, dick hanging).

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I would like to die never having seen Republican dick, thankyouverymuch.

  147. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:13

    You gotta get up pretty early to outfox actor212.

    Well, maybe not.

    I’m so old, you can outfox me with a possum.

  148. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:14

    For example: to be identified as a member of the Republican Party, you’d have to wear a pants-elephant (pockets inside out, fly open, dick hanging).

    Back in Catlick school that was “Kiss my bunny”

  149. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:15

    And then I’m all like, “You can drink a liter of Mountain Dew and do kegstands four days a week now, but just you wait…”

    And then they’re all like “Yea, but with my rich sugar daddy, that’ll be a liter of Cristal and a Porschestand”

  150. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:16

    Back in Catlick school that was “Kiss my bunny”

    Color me shocked.

  151. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:17

    I’m so old, you can outfox me with a possum.

    You know WHO ELSE outfoxed people with possums?

  152. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:18

    You know WHO ELSE outfoxed people with possums?

    Brer Adolph?

  153. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:18

    You know WHO ELSE outfoxed people with possums?

    Grannie Mae Clampett?

  154. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:21

    Brer Adolph?

    Hired the “Desert Fox” – I rest my case.

  155. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:22

    And then they’re all like “Yea, but with my rich sugar daddy, that’ll be a liter of Cristal and a Porschestand”

    And then I’m all like, “Whatever, hobag.”

  156. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:22

    I thought Brer Adolph was the Vikings quarterback?

  157. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:22

    And then I’m all like, “Whatever, hobag.”

    And they’re like “I can take your husband off you in a second”

  158. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:25

    And they’re like “I can take your husband off you in a second”

    Are you trying to get me to start a catfight?

  159. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:25

    And then I’m all like, “Whatever, hobag.”

    And they’re like “I can take your husband off you in a second”

    I saw this movie on a plane. Lindsey Lohan, right?

  160. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:26

    Are you trying to get me to start a catfight?

    And they’re all like “I’ve got better things to do than your husband, like scrape a bird turd off my windshield”

  161. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:27

    And they’re all like “I’ve got better things to do than your husband, like scrape a bird turd off my windshield”

    Ouch. So that would probably work.

  162. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:27

    Lindsey Lohan, right?

    There can be only one

  163. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:29

    Ouch. So that would probably work.

    Careful, because you’d have to fight a turf war with the Cliniqueticians and their allies over as Estee Lauder.

  164. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:30

    Careful, because you’d have to fight a turf war with the Cliniqueticians and their allies over as Estee Lauder.

    Meh, the Estee Lauder ladies are old.

  165. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:32

    Meh, the Estee Lauder ladies are old.

    Don’t fall victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Cosmetician when messing face is on the line”!

  166. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:33

    They do wear white coats, like they’re doctors or some shit.

    Otherwise their clothes would all be orange, too. They try on clothes during lunch and leave face skid marks on the necklines to creep out the unwary.

    Say it ain’t so, B.O.! You really ARE a Muslim!

    Barefoot = Muslim? HOLY CRAP I’m a Muslim RIGHT NOW!

    And then I’m all like, “Whatever, hobag.”

    Hey, I didn’t know my sister was on here! How’s every little thing?

  167. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:33

    Meh, the Estee Lauder ladies are old.

    That’s so cruel. …sob…

  168. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:36

    They try on clothes during lunch and leave face skid marks on the necklines to creep out the unwary.

    Oh! That’s who does that! I always thought it was just asshole customers who will die if they leave the house wearing fewer than 18 layers of foundation!

    How’s every little thing?

    I love this saying.

  169. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:37

    “Whatever, hobag.”

    Does that come with matching shoes?

  170. vacuumslayer said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:45

    I’m always late to the party. Have all the masturbation/fat/Rush/walrus jokes been made?

  171. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:46

    I always thought it was just asshole customers who will die if they leave the house wearing fewer than 18 layers of foundation!

    A little bit of this, a little bit of that. There are customers and employees that way, and they’ve formed an evil collective to ruin all the good clothes in the right size on the sale rack.

    I love this saying.

    It works best if your name is Mert, or my name isn’t Larrimore. And it isn’t.

  172. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:50

    they’ve formed an evil collective to ruin all the good clothes in the right size on the sale rack.

    See, the smart one would be the ones who find a dress in their size BEFORE it goes on sale, then smear the hell out of it, forcing it to go on sale.

  173. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:51

    Does that come with matching shoes?

    Yup.

  174. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:53

    (Note: I wanted a more egregious example with, say, a goldfish in the platform, but it’s probably inappropriate to Google “stripper shoes” at work.)

  175. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:54

    Yup.

    Ohmy.

    Suddenly foot fetishes make more sense.

  176. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:56

    “A high-stepping, ultra-sexy look comes from Pleaser’s Sky slide. It has a clear vinyl upper and a provocatively high platform and heel that’ll put you head and shoulders above the rest.”

    I’ve discovered – the NVPR hard way – that when a little miniature person wears shoes like this and still doesn’t make it to your eye level, she gets really offended when you laugh.

  177. Martian Buddy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 17:58

    Meanwhile, OT, Erik the Red has already gotten himself in trouble with his CNN gig by suggesting he’ll shoot a census worker, should one wend its way to his secret underground lair. No link. It would spoil the fun.

    I’m a census killer, get off my property.
    Census killer, fuck counting citizenry!

  178. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:02

    I’ve discovered – the NVPR hard way – that when a little miniature person wears shoes like this and still doesn’t make it to your eye level, she gets really offended when you laugh.

    She should be! If I wore those, I would deserve to be laughed at because I’d probably hit my head on the doorway. And break an ankle.

  179. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:03

    Census Killer, qu’est que c’est
    Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa

  180. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:05

    I’d probably hit my head on the doorway. And break an ankle.

    There is nothing sexier than orthopedic injury. Just ask James Caan.

  181. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:06

    that when a little miniature person wears shoes like this and still doesn’t make it to your eye level, she gets really offended when you laugh

    If she’s that short, isn’t it a waste for her to try to get taller? After all, you lose a place to rest your beer.

  182. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:06

    There are customers and employees that way, and they’ve formed an evil collective to ruin all the good clothes in the right size on the sale rack.

    Bitches. I knew it! They’re probably the same people who tear open all the tights packages in my size.

  183. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:07

    There is nothing sexier than orthopedic injury. Just ask James Caan.

    Right, cuz Kathy Bates is my dream girl….

  184. 77south said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:09

    (Note: I wanted a more egregious example with, say, a goldfish in the platform, but it’s probably inappropriate to Google “stripper shoes” at work.)

    http://www.5thfloorproductions.com/segoplst.html

    All you need to google is ‘goldfish platform shoes’

  185. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:10

    Those are not shoes.

    Now THESE are shoes!

  186. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:14

    Now THESE are shoes!

    You’re picturing Kathy in those right now, aren’t you?

  187. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:15

    There is nothing sexier than orthopedic injury.

    I know! Crutches are part of my signature pick-up uniform.

  188. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:17

    You’re picturing Kathy in those right now, aren’t you?

    She’s too..um…short.

  189. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:20

    Census Killer, qu’est que c’est
    Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa

    Ewick would run run run away regardless.

  190. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:30

    You’re picturing Kathy in those right now, aren’t you?

    I bet you’re picturing Walrustitties in them.

  191. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:31

    I bet you’re picturing Walrustitties in them.

    My imagination is currently occupied with the bruise on top of T&U’s head.

  192. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:32

    I bet you’re picturing Walrustitties in them.

    NAST.

  193. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:32

    My imagination is currently occupied with the bruise on top of T&U’s head.

    Uh, thanks?

  194. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:34

    My imagination is currently occupied with the bruise on top of T&U’s head

    I’d be more conserned with her knees.

    If, you know, I was that big a pig.

  195. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:37

    If, you know, I was that big a pig.

    T&U – I have nothing but honorable intentions for the top of your head.

  196. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:44

    T&U – I have nothing but honorable intentions for the top of your head.

    Thanks. You’re a gentlemen. Unlike SOME PEOPLE.

  197. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:58

    I have nothing but honorable intentions for the top of your head.

    A sagittaphiliac, EH?

    Pre-vert!

  198. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:00

    Pre-vert!

    I am, ultimately, answerable to the Coca-Cola company.

  199. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:03

    T&U – I have nothing but honorable intentions for the top of your head.

    i.e. “Can it hold my beer?” I guess all women are beer tables, just like all men are towel racks.

  200. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:06

    Bottom of the 1st, the Mets lead 2-0.

    (A) The season can only go downhill from here.

    (B) Live internet baseball is a wonder of our age. No more listening to radio announcers lie about what’s going – instead we get computers lying about what’s going on.

  201. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:07

    i.e. “Can it hold my beer?”

    That’s only for little miniature people.

  202. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:23

    i.e. “Can it hold my beer?”

    That’s only for little miniature people.

    Yeah, the average person isn’t going to find my head to be a convenient beer table.

  203. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:27

    He doesn’t fool me for one second: he’s just going to look for a tall bar stool.

  204. Looch said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:28

    Census Killer, qu’est que c’est
    Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa

    NOT funny!

  205. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:29

    In other news, did y’all know that McCain never considered himself a maverick? It’s true!

  206. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:30

    No more listening to radio announcers lie about what’s going – instead we get computers lying about what’s going on.

    So, they’re going to get a sapient AI from a baseball stream on ESPN online? Crazy.

  207. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:31

    In other news, did y’all know that McCain never considered himself a maverick? It’s true!

    I think we all know just who this is good news for.

  208. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:35

    NOT funny!

    I thought French was inherently funny.

  209. mingo said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:35

    just so you knows I’m all au courant and shit:

    you know who ELSE didn’t consider himself a maverick??!?!

  210. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:36

    In other news, did y’all know that McCain never considered himself a maverick? It’s true!

    Damn! Good thing he didn’t do something stupid like base his entire Presidential campaign around the idea!

    Has anyone told Caribou Barbie yet?

  211. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:37

    you know who ELSE didn’t consider himself a maverick??!?!

    James Garner?

  212. brantl said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:39

    “This woman” can’t tell the difference between cause, and effect.

  213. El Cid said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:44

    John McCain has never been a candidate for President. Check your facks, libs.

  214. mingo said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:46

    also from Steve Benen – the Tea Baggers are in line with the “new” American Mainstream. I think the twisty illogical construct for this is ” Tea Baggers are Real Mainstream Americans; & the definition of Real Mainstream American is – Tea Bagger!”.

    sort of a teatology.

  215. mingo said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:48

    oops, meant to link:
    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_04/023202.php#more

  216. dino goposaur said,

    April 5, 2010 at 19:53

    not even cupping his own balls? sheesh, can’t do anything right.

  217. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:04

    Bottom of the 1st, the Mets lead 2-0.

    Impressions:

    Santana looked great, no worries about his health. Wright’s HR was really weird: he stepped in the bukkit (keeping on topic) towards third, but slapped his ball down the right field line. Not sure what to make of that. Jason Bay is arguably the ugliest Met since George Theodore.

  218. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:05

    Thanks. You’re a gentlemen. Unlike SOME PEOPLE.

    I had honorable intentions for your head, too! I admire your brain.

    Other parts of you, eh, not so much…those you might want to protect.

  219. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:05

    Jason Bay is arguably the ugliest Met since George Theodore.

    Ron Hodges still holds the record.

    As opposed to Xavier Nady, of whom Mrs. __B said “He’s dreamy.”

  220. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:06

    sort of a teatology

    The study of teats.

  221. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:07

    Ron Hodges still holds the record.

    Nah uh. Bay is over in Sid Bream territory.

  222. 77south said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:07

    The study of teats.

    interest..

    website…

    newsletter?

  223. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:09

    The study of teats.
    interest..
    website…
    newsletter?

    Why, I believe I can provide this

  224. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:09

    Bay is over in Sid Bream territory.

    Both are gods next to Kent Tekulve.

  225. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:10

    Both are gods next to Kent Tekulve.

    The only player who’s name gets pronounced best when you throw up.

  226. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:14

    I had honorable intentions for your head, too! I admire your brain.

    Awww, thanks!

    Other parts of you, eh, not so much…those you might want to protect.

    Hey, that’s what mace is for.

  227. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:18

    Hey, that’s what mace is for.

    Bah! I’ve been maced so many times, I use it for dessert topping.

  228. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:18

    Hey, that’s what mace is for.

    The spray or the big iron ball on a chain, either work pretty well in the situation.

  229. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:20

    The spray or the big iron ball on a chain, either work pretty well in the situation.

    I prefer the spray. I can’t really fit the ball and chain in my purse easily.

  230. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:21

    I can’t really fit the ball and chain in my purse easily.

    Boy, how many times have I heard this in my life…

  231. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:21

    Bah! I’ve been maced so many times, I use it for dessert topping.

    Mace cake!

  232. Snowwy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:39

    Your ever-helpful weapons pedant here with a helpful tip.

    Maces are rigid. The “big iron ball on a chain” is a FLAIL.

    Thank you for your attention.

  233. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:42

    Maces are rigid. The “big iron ball on a chain” is a FLAIL.

    Thank you for your attention.

    So you’re saying we had FLAIL FAIL? the topic comes around to Limbaugh’s Viagra, yet again.

  234. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:44

    Maces are rigid.

    Veiled erection reference?

  235. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:51

    Maces are rigid. The “big iron ball on a chain” is a FLAIL.

    I know that, but “big iron ball on a stick” could be SO misinterpreted in this particular thread.

  236. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:52

    Maces are rigid.

    No, Ruffles have ridges.

  237. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 20:55

    So a flail is a hand-held trebuchet? While a mace is an iClub??

  238. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:04

    Great. Now I’ve been looking at weapons on Wikipedia for the past 15 minutes.

  239. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:07

    Now I’ve been looking at weapons on Wikipedia for the past 15 minutes.

    Don’t let your swash get bucklered.

  240. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:14

    Now I’ve been looking at weapons on Wikipedia for the past 15 minutes.

    Did you check out the big iron ball on a stick…with the cowled head?

  241. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:15

    TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 18:15

    There is nothing sexier than orthopedic injury.

    I know! Crutches are part of my signature pick-up uniform.

    Uh, is this your website? (NSFW, duh)

  242. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:22

    Boy, that walrus sure is enjoying himself.

  243. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:24

    PENII

  244. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:28

    Uh, is this your website? (NSFW, duh)

    I’m at work. Is that a plaster fetish site? I don’t know why I’m surprised.

  245. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:29

    Is that a plaster fetish site?

    This is America! It’s a gyp-board fetish site.

  246. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:34

    This is America! It’s a gyp-board fetish site.

    I suppose that’s better than some fancy pinko European stucco site.

  247. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:35

    It’s a gyp-board fetish site

    We should be politically correct: Romaini-board fetish site (“Traveller-board” is acceptable)

  248. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:36

    Yep, plaster fetishism. I had never heard, or thought, of such a thing, until one of the female members (not a VPR) of a motorcycle message board I frequent hurt herself and posted a picture of her cast. A few of the other folks on the board were rather too interested in her well being. And no, I don’t know if she has a newsletter.

  249. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:37

    The Catholic Church has managed to outsource pedophilia to India.

  250. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:40

    But the priest in that story molested a girl!?!

    I feel gypped.

  251. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:41

    I feel gypped

    No, you feel traveled.

  252. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:41

    Tag. Fail I blame WP, of course.

  253. MrToad said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:42

    “The Catholic Church has managed to outsource pedophilia to India.”

    Now hold on – how can it be pedophilia? The girl was older than 10.

  254. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:42

    Yep, plaster fetishism.

    I don’t get it…not that there aren’t much, much weirder fetishes.

  255. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:45

    I don’t get it…not that there aren’t much, much weirder fetishes.

    Look, so what if the helium makes her pass out…I need her to talk like a duck, dammit! Don’t judge me!

  256. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:50

    I need her to talk like a duck, dammit! Don’t judge me!

    That is a hilarious fetish. Almost as good as a sexy bee fetish.

  257. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:52

    That is a hilarious fetish.

    Look, if I actually fucked a duck, you guys would get all on my ass about bestiality and poor Donald, but if I screw a woman who’s willing to talk like one, that you guys are fine with and it sure beats roasting her in an oven for dinner later.

  258. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:54

    I feel gypped.

    Don’t you mean “I feel Roma’d”?

    BTW, anyone got an email for Cockpuncho The Cock-Punching Gorilla? I have an intimate session planned for him with one Bill “Fucking Microsoft” Gates.

  259. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:56

    The Catholic Church has managed to outsource pedophilia to India.

    It would seem like that by now, there should be no minors left in that church to molest. Howcome a church rationalizing rape is more credible than say, a black male doing it? Like I said before–the only people who can rationalize rape that way (like Donohue’s claim that raping a pubescent teen isn’t rape) are rapists. Same goes for the fuckin pope.

  260. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:57

    BTW, anyone got an email for Cockpuncho The Cock-Punching Gorilla? I have an intimate session planned for him with one Bill “Fucking Microsoft” Gates.

    Hm? Why? Do tell…

  261. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 21:58

    it sure beats roasting her in an oven for dinner later

    Vore fetish?

  262. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:00

    Wait, how many genital-punching animals are out there, anyway?

  263. Vacuumslayer said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:02

    Just popping on to say that my cat is eating the potato and celery root purée I made last night. What a bitch.

  264. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:02

    Hm? Why? Do tell…

    Two words:

    “reinstall Windows”.

    Linux here I come… as soon as I figure out how to re-size the partition without pissing off Windows to the point the aforementioned phrase becomes operational.

  265. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:06

    Linux here I come… as soon as I figure out how to re-size the partition without pissing off Windows to the point the aforementioned phrase becomes operational.

    I believe – from my study of Linux before I went to Mac – that Ubuntu’s installer will do this for you. You don’t mind an all-brown desktop, do you?

  266. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:07

    You don’t mind an all-brown desktop, do you?

    It’ll clash with his shoes!!!!!!

  267. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:08

    Vore fetish?

    No thanks, I’ll just pick.

  268. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:08

    Linux here I come… as soon as I figure out how to re-size the partition without pissing off Windows to the point the aforementioned phrase becomes operational.

    Mr. T&U had a problem with that. I wound up just running Linux on my laptop, which is nice about 95% of the time, but gets a little glitchy and can be a pain in the ass with my schoolwork (Blackboard doesn’t play nicely with non-Microsoft platforms). Our media server dual boots fine…don’t know why my computer won’t.

  269. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:09

    Wait, how many genital-punching animals are out there, anyway?

    According to Google, About 2,720,000 results. But I have Safe Search turned off.

  270. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:10

    Wow! How did I miss this website???

    http://www.cockpunches.com/

  271. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:10

    BTW, Pere? You are not alone:

    http://www.cockpunches.com/archives/443

  272. El Cid said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:11

    Chunky Ross Douthat is called out for being a cheap liar and idiot, and he explains that his lie was just ‘hyperbole’, you know, for ironic, dramatic effect.

    Original Douchehat text:

    …conservatives are only invited on Rachel Maddow’s show when they have something nasty to say about Republicans…

    The updated “oh, yeah, I’m sure it sounded like a fraudulent claim to you libruls” version:

    I intended a touch of hyperbole about MSNBC’s biases, but, taken literally, the line reads as an anti-Maddow exaggeration, which I did not intend. She does, in fact, have conservatives on her show as conservatives, and it’s possible (as Greenwald suggests) that any seeming imbalance in her guest list is mainly the result of Republicans turning her invitations down.

    Translation: “Oh shit, I guess my non-researched bullshit about Rachel Maddow is actually causing people to pay attention to the fatuous nonsense in my shitty column, so I won’t really admit being a non-researching, lying hack, instead I’ll just claim it’s dramatic exaggeration in an entertaining post-modern fashion.”

    But, please, let’s hear more and more from such insightful types as Chunky Ross Donutfat and Urk Urksum on how to ‘save CNN’.

  273. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:18

    Wait, how many genital-punching animals are out there, anyway?

    All’s I know is if I have Mr. Gates punched in the bikini region, I want PUNCHING.

    Thusly a gorrila, which would punch the way I’d like to see punching proceed. Punchily.

  274. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:21

    She does, in fact, have conservatives on her show as conservatives, and it’s possible (as Greenwald suggests) that any seeming imbalance in her guest list is mainly the result of Republicans turning her invitations down.

    I’d bet that Maddow gets more conservatives on her show than O’Reilly, Beck and Hannity get liberals on their shows. Combined.

    Maddow is a tough questioner and while unabashed about her positions, has no problem with actually letting someone say his or her peace…THEN tearing it apart. She’s polite and studies hard before doing an interview.

  275. MrToad said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:21

    “Hm? Why? Do tell…”

    You need a reason? How about ‘for the public good’. Think of it like a class-action response for Windows v 1.0 and up.

  276. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:21

    Mr. Gates punched in the bikini

    You know, I can’t *unsee* this….

  277. Substance McGravitas said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:22

    (Blackboard doesn’t play nicely with non-Microsoft platforms).

    Make your school do Moodle! It’s FREE.

  278. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:23

    Make your school do Moodle!

    Isn’t that what has the Pope in hot water, all that Moodling?

  279. Steerpike said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:25

    Don’t be too quick to bookmark teh Cock-Punchers, there, Actor

  280. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:25

    Make your school do Moodle! It’s FREE.

    I would loooooooooooooooooooove to. But I think we’re probably contractually bound to use BB.

    We have an open-source thingy that the IT faculty use for classes, which is an improvement, but I still don’t love it.

  281. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:27

    Don’t be too quick to bookmark teh Cock-Punchers, there, Actor

    See your ACORN and raise you Glenn Beck

  282. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:28

    Think of it like a class-action response for Windows v 1.0 and up.

    I still have a copy of Win 1.0 somewhere.

    It was fine up until Win 95 – that was the Line That Should Not Have Been Crossed.

    Hell, I’d go back to 3.11 in a heartbeat (which I also have stashed away, dunno why) – never saw that crash no matter what I did to it.

  283. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:29

    By the way, great animation

  284. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:30

    Wait, how many genital-punching animals are out there, anyway?

    Don’t forget Clamstompo, the Clam-Stomping… uh… clam.

  285. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:31

    Don’t forget Clamstompo, the Clam-Stomping… uh… clam.

    And Snotsy, the loogie-flinging snot bubble

  286. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:31

    Don’t forget Clamstompo, the Clam-Stomping… uh… clam.

    CLAMS GOT LEGS!!

  287. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:35

    I believe – from my study of Linux before I went to Mac – that Ubuntu’s installer will do this for you. You don’t mind an all-brown desktop, do you?

    You can use gparted (your Gnome partition engine) before you reinstall Windows–just be sure to back everything up. I’m sure you do already.

    You can get it from Sourceforge

  288. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:38

    CLAMS GOT LEGS!!

    I recall that song, sung by ZZ Quahog.

  289. N__B said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:41

    I’m sure you do already.

    I back up with a combo of Time Machine and Carbon Copy Cloner. And anything I actually need is on a server with RAID.

    I’ve lost data. It’s not going to happen again if I can help it. Rassin frassin drive crashes.

  290. gocart mozart said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:43

    Yoko’s obsession with giving John “underwater walrus’” when he should have been working in the studio was the real reason for the breakup of the Beetles.

  291. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:45

    Yoko’s obsession with giving John “underwater walrus’”

    But the walrus was PAUL!!

  292. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:46

    Yoko’s obsession with giving John “underwater walrus’”

    But the walrus was PAUL!!

    Oh. Wait. I see your point.

  293. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:48

    The comments section of a political snark blog hardly seem the place to get tech support… but anyway:

    I have a 80-some-odd Gig drive I want to partition to install Linux; about 1/2 the drive is empty but when I run FRIGGIN USELESS Windows Defrag it says it can’t defragment about a dozen files and therefore HA! HO! HA! I can’t resize the goddamn partition. And I don’t have enough space on the other hard drive (VEILED YOU-KNOW-WHAT REFERENCE!) to transfer these files over. So, for some reason over half the drive space is empty, but Windows won’t let me re-size its partition.

    Which is why, among other Windoze-related issues, I wish to consult with aforementioned gorilla. (Glennbeck is penciled in for Thursday, rest assured.)

  294. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:50

    Which version of Windoze, Pere?

  295. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:54

    And of course, Testicleus the Testicle-Twisting Tapir.

  296. El Cid said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:55

    FWIW, every time I’ve done a Windows / Linux dual boot, eventually Windows finds a way to completely f*** up and need reinstallation. I’m a rank amateur, though. Low rank, too.

  297. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:56

    Also, Kraken the Kock-Krackin’ Kraken. Also.

  298. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:58

    FWIW, every time I’ve done a Windows / Linux dual boot, eventually Windows finds a way to completely f*** up and need reinstallation. I’m a rank amateur, though. Low rank, too.

    Yeah, that’s what we had to do with our desktop.

  299. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 22:58

    Don’t be too quick to bookmark teh Cock-Punchers, there, Actor

    Saw that too…sounds like an uninformed loudmouthed jackass…unlike myself, of course.

  300. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:01

    He is hiring 16,000 IRS agents (SS troops) to dig into every orifice of your life

    Memo to self… do not claim home orifice as a deduction.

  301. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:03

    Which version of Windoze, Pere?

    xp – which stands for XTRA PENIS

  302. actor212 said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:04

    xp – which stands for XTRA PENIS

    Reboot into Safe Mode and run Defrag then. That ought to do the trick.

  303. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:05

    The only way I’ve ever gotten a Linux/Win dual boot to work properly was to format the whole drive, then partition the drive from a UBCD, then install windows, then Ubuntu. That turned out to be stable with Win2K SP4 and WinXP.

    Here IS a good place to get free tech support from very knowledgeable people:

    PC Mech

  304. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:08

    GRR

    PC Mech, See forums

  305. tigris said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:10

    Look, if I actually fucked a duck, you guys would get all on my ass about bestiality

    Were you a bestialest your ass would be one of the places I would not get.

    sounds like an uninformed loudmouthed jackass

    You know who ELSE needed a cock-punch?

    I might need to narrow that down, huh?

  306. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:11

    Reboot into Safe Mode and run Defrag then. That ought to do the trick.

    Thank you, Licus Actor. You’re a gentleman and a procurer.

  307. justme said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:13

    Angry walrus pirate, anyone?

  308. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:13

    Hell, I’d go back to 3.11 in a heartbeat (which I also have stashed away, dunno why) – never saw that crash no matter what I did to it.

    I assure you that you weren’t trying hard enough. Don’t bring back those memories for me, m’kay? [shudder]

    And the time and risk involved in resizing a windows partition usually makes me just go buy another drive, they’re cheap. Put it in as a second drive and install Linux (I hear the new Ubuntu will finally be ditching the brown) on that.

  309. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:15

    I’d bet that Maddow gets more conservatives on her show than O’Reilly, Beck and Hannity get liberals on their shows. Combined.

    But alan colmes also.

  310. Snowwy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:17

    Dude- Partition Magic or the like.

    Oh and thank you all for that series of jokes. Was teh funneh.

  311. tsam said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:32

    Angry walrus pirate, anyone?

    HA! You win the internet today. The eyepatch–nice touch!

  312. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:32

    Dude- Partition Magic or the like.

    One small detail – according to Wikipedia:

    As of December 8, 2009, the Symantec website states, “Sorry, we no longer offer Norton Partition Magic.”

    BLEAH.

    Anyone know a freeware alternative?

  313. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:38

    Anyone know a freeware alternative?

    GParted is the GNOME partition application, but I don’t know if you can use it in Windows…I am useless. :)

  314. Snowwy said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:42

    PSMP- BitTorrent is your friend.

  315. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:42

    I can run GParted from a Puppy Linux live CD – which I did and that’s why I had to reinstall Windows.

    I’ll have to try the Safe Mode thing when I get home.

  316. LittlePig said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:44

    low-hanging fruit, don’tcha know?

    Veiled scrotal reference.

  317. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:45

    PSMP- BitTorrent is your friend.

    oooh evil stealing money from software companies oooh bad bad bad evil

    hey, wait. They’re no longer selling or supporting the damn thing anyway… (I know of a few role-playing games in the same situation!) AHHHHH I hate intellectual property wankering.

  318. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 5, 2010 at 23:45

    I can run GParted from a Puppy Linux live CD – which I did and that’s why I had to reinstall Windows.

    Ah ha. Sorry if you mentioned that and I overlooked it. IGNORE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

  319. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:01

    Let’s see if I can get a link right today

    Ultimate Boot CD

    Make a bootable CD out of this image, and there are tons of partition managers on it.

    All free (donations accepted, of course).

  320. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:03

    Ah ha. Sorry if you mentioned that and I overlooked it. IGNORE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

    but if I do that where am I going to set my beer?

  321. Punishing Snotcho Mallet Palin said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:07

    Make a bootable CD out of this image, and there are tons of partition managers on it.

    Oh, SWEET.

    Thenkyew!

  322. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:11

    OT, but I just find this hilarious…

    Repubs are so quick to blast everyone else for “playing the race card”. Well, here Michael Steele (probably correctly) indicates that as a black man, his margin for error is thinner than that of his white colleagues…Set your clocks to double standard time, folks…

    IOKIYAR

  323. justme said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:15

    fy in the neck, wp.

    tsam beat me to teh bootcd thing anyway, but I was going to say you should image your drive before doing any of this. Driveimagexml works for me, and isn’t too screwy to deal with. It comes on this other bootcd, or from the publisher. You need the boot cd to restore a system drive, but you can make an image while normally running.

    A million times easier than reinstalling everything.

  324. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:18

    A million times easier than reinstalling everything.

    Amen to that!

  325. justme said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:23

    When wfp gets around to letting my other comment through, it mentions that you should keep said image on a USB drive for restore purposes. I think. Try it, you’ll like it.

  326. Bullshit K. Hustler said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:40

    A million times easier than reinstalling everything.

    you just need to upgrade to MS-Self-Fellating-Walrus-Penis version 7.2 service pack 5

  327. actor212 said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:57

    Whoa! Who left this thread out in the sun all day???

  328. actor212 said,

    April 6, 2010 at 0:59

    you just need to upgrade to MS-Self-Fellating-Walrus-Penis version 7.2 service pack 5

    IS that code named Angry Pirate?

  329. Pere Ubu said,

    April 6, 2010 at 1:26

    MS-Self-Fellating-Walrus-Penis version 7.2 service pack 5

    aka Vista

  330. Pere Ubu said,

    April 6, 2010 at 1:30

    It comes on this other bootcd

    BartPE

    I know that name all too well. I’ve used BartPE to reinstall Windows on a couple UMPCs I have that don’t have CD drives. Installing Win XP from a USB stick takes for-fucking-ever, but it works.

  331. kingubu said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:10

    As a S,N! grows longer, the probability of it devolving into PC support questions approaches 1.

  332. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:12

    As a S,N! grows longer,

    VPR

  333. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:15

    On Erk Erksome and the census:

    In a statement provided to the Huffington Post, Nicholas Kimball, a spokesman for the Commerce Department — which oversees the 2010 census counting — said that precautions are being made to “protect the safety of both census workers and the public.”

    Going through the logistics of the process, Kimball noted that the census workers dispatched to help collect raw data (in the form of a ten-point questionnaire) are usually fellow locals. Taking a small dig at Erickson, without naming names, he added:

    “So, that means someone knocking on a door in, for example, Macon, Georgia, is likely to be from that community or neighborhood. They’re just someone looking for a little extra work during these difficult economic times – and looking to help fulfill the mission of our Founding Fathers.”

    Ooooh. A bureaucrat with a sense of humor.

    Nice.

  334. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:18

    As a S,N! grows longer, the probability of it devolving into PC support questions approaches 1.

    I am so tempted to start a Mac/PC spazasm but will refrain for no apparent reason.

  335. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:18

    “So, that means someone knocking on a door in, for example, Macon, Georgia, is likely to be from that community or neighborhood. They’re just someone looking for a little extra work during these difficult economic times – and looking to help fulfill the mission of our Founding Fathers.”

    Being realistic and humorous is theft.

  336. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:20

    bureaucrats are notorious for their sense of humor, Looch. I mean, do you really think we need all those forms done in triplicate? That’s just them fucking with you to see if you’ll do it.

  337. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:20

    I am so tempted to start a Mac/PC spazasm but will refrain for no apparent reason.

    Oh god, please, no.

    That has got to be the most dead-ended argument one could ever possibly have. What a waste of self-righteous anger.

  338. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:29

    That has got to be the most dead-ended argument one could ever possibly have. What a waste of self-righteous anger.

    That would be a very apparent reason.

  339. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:40

    Off the computer support topic;

    Olbermann just featured a quote by Glenn Beck (I can’t find it except for videos that are painfully long), comparing himself to Rosa Parks

    All I have to say is YOU MOTHERFUCKER. Those are FIGHTING words, asshole.

  340. Bullshit K. Hustler said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:41

    start a Mac/PC

    i’m waiting for the univac tablet pc running VS/9

  341. Pere Ubu said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:50

    a quote by Glenn Beck comparing himself to Rosa Parks

    Wow.

    And just when I thought I hated him as much as I possibly could.

  342. Steerpike said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:52

    Oh, ferfuxsake, can we pleeeeeeeez have a new thread before this descends into another full-blown spin-dry geekgasm?

  343. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:53

    Glenn Beck is a Maverick.

  344. Looch said,

    April 6, 2010 at 2:55

    And.

    ZRM!

    WIngnut Processor?

    Hello!

  345. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:07

    The fact is, Glen Beck is more like Rosa Parks than Rosa Parks. He is standing up for the right to sit down where he please, which in a PC gone crazy USA means all white straight males off the bus so the protected minorites with special rights get to do what they want. We want our country back.

  346. Bullshit K. Hustler said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:19

    Gary Ruppert said

    dude, your perfect spelling and syntax, and coherent flow of thought give you away. a real wingnut would have more teabonics and random goofyness

  347. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:23

    but if I do that where am I going to set my beer?

    I dunno–get one of those fancy hats!

  348. tigris said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:25

    but if I do that where am I going to set my beer?

    I dunno–get one of those fancy hats!

    Or grow moobs; what else are they good for? Gary, help me out here.

  349. N__B said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:31

    but if I do that where am I going to set my beer?

    I dunno–get one of those fancy hats!

    Or grow moobs; what else are they good for?

    Or gradually stretch your scrotum with ever-larger brass clamps until there’s enough lose skin to hold a beer can.

  350. purpleOnion said,

    April 6, 2010 at 3:59

    Noel would have been happier in her marriage if she joined in with her husband’s quest for sexual adventure, but that would have been naughty.

  351. tigris said,

    April 6, 2010 at 4:01

    Or gradually stretch your scrotum with ever-larger brass clamps until there’s enough lose skin to hold a beer can.

    Do it enough for a 6-pack and some ice and forget needing a cooler!

  352. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 4:39

    Reveal yourself, Gary. I have a suspicion, but I’m not throwing out any accusations that might get my ass kicked…

  353. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 4:47

    Noel would have been happier in her marriage if she joined in with her husband’s quest for sexual adventure, but that would have been naughty.

    I don’t know, man. I’m thinking if we got a peek into the bedroom of these prudish right-winger christian types, we would go catatonic for a few minutes. I think our own sexually liberal values are probably pretty clean compared to unleashing a lifetime of sexual repression all at once.

  354. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 4:49

    I mean, honestly. There was actually a GROUP of people who all agreed to go to a lesbian bondage themed strip/sex club. Now, I would have NO problem going to something like that. But if I were at some kind of business gathering, you couldn’t convince me to even float that as an idea for something to do! Good old family values conservatives–just keep adding pressure to the closed tank until it explodes.

  355. El Cid said,

    April 6, 2010 at 5:15

    Given who’s going and watching, it’s probably less insulting to lesbians to call the RNC’s fav club “girl on girl action” rather than “lesbian”.

  356. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 5:23

    Good point…Someone suggested to me today that the Repukes might have scored some points with the GLBT community by not running away from this like they have. Of course, this was a douchebag redneck. (surprise).

    I thougth that was a pretty apt commentary on the Republican world-view. Why do they want to get married? We fuckin give them money at girl-pr0n bondage clubs. Homo marriage is ramming their agenda down our throats and violating our constitutional rights!

    Wtf?

  357. Spengler Dampniche said,

    April 6, 2010 at 5:31

    To Limbaugh = to abuse with a humorless dildo mallet.

  358. Spengler Dampniche said,

    April 6, 2010 at 5:34

    Or gradually stretch your scrotum with ever-larger brass clamps

    Kids, I have learned the hard way [veiled SCROTUS reference] that the One True Way to achieve a preposterously baggy nutsack is to wear boxer shorts all your life. I had a tailor ask me if I dressed to the left or the right (I’m a dashed snappy dresser, you understand) and I had to admit it’s pretty much both, these days.

  359. Punishing Snotchos Mallet Palin said,

    April 6, 2010 at 5:40

    To Limbaugh = to abuse punish with a humorless dildo mallet

    Fitq’d.

  360. purpleOnion said,

    April 6, 2010 at 6:02

    When do you want the country to go back to and with whom?

  361. N__B said,

    April 6, 2010 at 6:16

    Colonel Mustard, in the 1880s, with watered railroad stock.

  362. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 6:22

    Colonel Mustard, in the 1880s, with watered railroad stock. Candlestick

    Fixed, with cellophane veiled PENIS reference. My throat has been burned severely.

  363. purpleOnion said,

    April 6, 2010 at 6:38

    Is repression at the root of perversity?
    Is self-righteousness caused by feelings of superiority?
    Is certainty found to be the result of narrowmindedness?
    Is perversity brought on by conservatism?
    Are authoritarians followers.
    Is following inspired by self-loathing?
    Does self-loathing become sadism?
    Does conservatism prove that evolution does not occur?
    Are butt-kissing and back-stabbing genetic or environmental?
    Is worshipping other humans sane?
    Is there a vaccine for tyranny?
    If I can blow myself am I deviant or special?
    How big can one be before considered a mutant?

  364. purpleOnion said,

    April 6, 2010 at 6:42

    Would you go with Colonel Mustard if he had moobs? Were moobs rare in the 1880s?

  365. justme said,

    April 6, 2010 at 7:02

    To Limbaugh = to abuse with a humorless dildo mallet.

    Scar My Tattered Body No More

  366. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 7:19

    Would you go with Colonel Mustard if he had moobs? Were moobs rare in the 1880s?

    Looking at the cover of my Monopoly game, I think moobs were not rare back then. I’m not worried about the moobs anyway. Col. Mustard is merely an apt stage name. I loves me some mustard on my beef and cheese hoagie.

  367. tsam said,

    April 6, 2010 at 7:20

    Scar my tattered body no more….

    Yeah, dude was tuhRIPPIN.

  368. justme said,

    April 6, 2010 at 7:58

    FUCKIN’ QUAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

  369. Unt Lick said,

    April 6, 2010 at 13:13

    Glenn Beck needs a visit from all of our cockpunching animal friends.

  370. actor212 said,

    April 6, 2010 at 16:03

    Glenn Beck needs a visit from all of our cockpunching animal friends.

    Why limit it to animals?

    The DNC could fund its entire 2010 election campaign on selling tickets to lefties who want to cockpunch the bastard.

  371. Anna Nicole Sith said,

    April 6, 2010 at 17:20

    actor 212 said:

    Gacy, Limbaugh: two serial killers.

    Minor (and incredibly late) correction:

    Limbaugh is a cereal killer.

    (A couple bushels’ worth every morning.)

  372. ian said,

    April 6, 2010 at 17:54

    funniest comment on the vid, the guy saying “I wonder why he’s doing that.”
    Because he CAN, perhaps?

  373. Mooser said,

    April 6, 2010 at 20:19

    Coo-Coo-ga-Joob, everyone.

  374. Robert Waldmann said,

    April 7, 2010 at 5:01

    Wait I think I first* saw that video on this site. It illustrated a post not about Limbaugh but about Robert Samuelson. Maybe it was at balloon juice.

    *and last. I only watched it once. Yech. I mean I’m not a prude, but just the thought of Robert Samuelson makes me shrivel up.

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