18
Time for another Bankster Benefit Concert!
John Boehner is a lonely voice looking out for the little guys on Wall Street:
Boehner’s comments come as bankers prepare to descend upon Capitol Hill to press for changes to the bank-reform legislation, which they wouldn’t support in its present form. Boehner said he urged bankers not to be shy when meeting with the lawmaker staff members and to send a message that new regulations and taxes translates to into banks having less available for lending.
“Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves,” Boehner said.
This sorta tough talk makes me feel all tingly… I’m going Galt in my pants as we speak!
To spur on the brave, powerless bankers in their noble quest to plunder taxpayers and swindle investors, I think it’s time for another Bankster Benefit Concert. This one will feature a brilliant song penned by commenter John Galtdof a couple weeks back:
Do They Know It’s Bonus Time?
And there won’t be bonuses on Wall Street for FY09
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is (pffft) options
(Oooh)
Where profits never grow
Can’t keep that bungalow
Do they know it’s Bonus Time at all?
Sing, you bastards! Let Wall Street know we stand with them against the wicked forces trying to hold them accountable for their destructive actions!
Weeeeeee shaaaaaall overcoooooooooome!
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:27
“Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves,” Boehner said.
He’s saying this to guys who approved billions in bonuses before even paying a dime back to taxpayers. I don’t think “stones” is the problem here.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:29
Ladies and Gentlemen, next on the bill for our Banksta Benefit….THE BEATLES!
Anthony said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:30
Clearly in the political jungle, wall street executives are the gazelle and congressional staffers are the lion.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:31
I am banker, pay me MOAR
In numbers too big to ignore
Lurking Canadian said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:32
As everybody knows, it is necessary for the regulated industry to approve of the regulations, or we just shouldn’t do it.
Remember how automakers were so excited to install seatbelts and airbags? Or how pulp mills were gung ho in support of the clean air act? Good times!
Too bad the current fascist administration can’t be like that.
Luthe said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:33
I didn’t know the definition of “lending” was “ladling out money to whiny-ass titty-baby shit-for-brains CEOs.”
You learn something new every day. Thanks, Orange Guy!
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:35
And now…PINK FLOYD!
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 15:38
Mr. Jimi Hendrix will now lead us in our national anthem:
Fleas correct the era said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:05
Boehner’s looking pale. Putting two and two together, you have to guess that one of those little punk staffers turned him down, even after Bo offered him five bucks.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:12
All we are saaaayyyy-ing
Is give us your cash.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:23
It’s Christmastime
There’s no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in cash and we banish pain
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your cash around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only champagne flowing is the cheap domestic kind
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of taxes
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
glf said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:24
“Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves,” Boehner said.
How else are you going to make the masses pay for your multi-million dollar mortgages while foreclosing on theirs.
Spengler Dampniche remembered his nym said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:25
There’s a song in my heart, but it’s just the words “fuck you, fuckers, I’ll see you in hell” repeated over and over again.
I think the reason he did this, at least in any forum the public would learn about, is to generate more outrage fatigue. Repeat stunts like this often enough and the message “how can Americans stand by and let the wealthiest suffer?” will not just become acceptable discourse, it will become the new normal. Which it already is in the Washington, DC area, of course.
But at this rate, before Obama’s voted out of office at the end of his first term, we’ll have soy farmers in Iowa climbing down off their tractors and doffing their hats whenever a Learjet passes overhead on the way to the coasts.
Sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
[elevator doors open]
slippy said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:28
Boner might want to consider that these banksters, in any other nation, would be swinging from the mother-fucking lampposts.
Maybe these dumfucks should quit while they’re ahead.
Marie Antoinette said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:29
Boner might want to consider that these banksters, in any other nation, would be swinging from the mother-fucking lampposts.
Maybe these dumfucks should quit while they’re ahead.
I see what you do here.
N__B said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:30
Bob Seger:
Spengler Dampniche remembered his nym said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:32
You know who else got punked by staffers?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tut7p9rIWGw
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:36
I went home with
the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the
Russians, too?
I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers,
guns, and money
They’ll get me out
of this, hyeah
I’m the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock
and a hard place
And I’m down on my luck
Yes I’m down on my luck
Well I’m down on my luck
A Well Paid Banker said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:37
I need MOAR. And by MOAR I mean a LOT MOAR. With out MOAR how will I keep my family in our undiverse neighborhood, drive my Audi at top speed or spend thousands on my new bathroom? In all honesty (heh) I am appalled at the backlash. Without the rich there would be no poor and if there were no poor everyone could be living really well; not having to worry about health care or where their next meal may come from… uh, hm, er.. this came out wrong. I’m better with PowerPoint.
mingo said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:40
apologies to emma lazarus:
give me your languid, your rich
your elite yearning to breathe free of taxes
the wealthy fewest of the gated shore
send these, the foreclosing, champagne-tossed to me
I bow and blow the golden horde
the Boner’s interpretation
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:40
Boner might want to consider that these banksters, in any other nation, would be swinging from the mother-fucking lampposts.
Maybe these dumfucks should quit while they’re ahead
This is the Greatest Nation on Earth! We lionize our white-collar criminals! We worship our corporate whores! To do anything else would be UnAmerican! And everyone knows being UnAmerican is the greatest crime of all!
(Yeah, I read the back of Dr. Bronner’s soap bottles for my own amusement. Why do you ask?)
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:42
Mingo reminded me that Lou Reed had something to say on this:
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:42
How many homes must a bank foreclose
Before you give us our checks?
Yes ‘n how many times have we resold that loan
All Leveraged out to heck.
Yes ‘n how many vile epithets have been cast
At us for doing our jobs?
The answer my friend, is waiting at the end
After you finish polishing my knob.
mingo said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:42
Boner might want to consider that these banksters, in any other nation, would be swinging from the mother-fucking lampposts.
I think they would look attractive on either side of a guillotine.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:47
With apologies to Woody Guthrie:
This land is my land,
This land is my land
I own the mortgages
Of ev’ry fucking moron
From the rocky coastline
To the golden val-al-leys,
This land was made for only me.
Jennifer said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:49
I think they would look attractive on either side of a guillotine.
Every time you use that word, you make the baby Atrios cry.
mingo said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:51
say, that Lou Reed really has a way with words! he should be a songwriter or something!
mingo said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:52
Every time you use that word, you make the baby Atrios cry.
o noes!
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:52
It looks like we’ll have healthcare reform. Finally.
mingo said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:54
obviously, actor, the CBO is a bunch of lieberal fascists who want to kill your granny.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:54
With apologies to Woody Guthrie:
Fuckin’ commie.
Congress said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:57
Would you want your golden-egg-laying swan to just fly away over a little civvie rage? Please, if you had no soul, you’d understand that if you weren’t any good at anything other then lying with a smile, that we have to do what the bankers do… We have TEE TIMES PEOPLE!!
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:58
I’d post the Dead Kennedys’ “Kill The Poor” but I haz no lrik acess.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:58
Heh heh. “Woody”. Heh.
The Goddamn Batman Is Never Too Drunk To Fuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 16:58
Punk ain’t no political cult
Punk means thinking for your donors
You ain’t teabagger cos you wave a sign
When a liberal still lives inside your head
Staffer punks
Staffer punks
Staffer punks-Fuck Off!
Staffer punks
Staffer punks
Staffer punks-Fuck Off!
If you’ve come to vote, get outa here
You ain’t no better than the community organizers
We ain’t trying to be ACORN
When you ape the libs it ain’t libertarian
[Repeat chorus]
Ten guys jump one, what a man
You fight each other, Obama wins
Stab your backs when you trash our halls
Trash a food bank if you’ve got real balls
You still think Hope T-shirts look cool
The real staffers run your schools
They’re coaches, businessmen and cops
In a real socialist state you’ll be the first to go
[Repeat chorus]
You’ll be the first to go
You’ll be the first to go
You’ll be the first to go
If you think
Scott said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:09
Bernie Madoff gets ass kicked in prison.
I’d support any law that’d make that mandatory for the rest of the banksters.
On second thought, who needs a law for that…
tigris said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:12
In this land, right now, some are insane
and they’re in charge.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:12
obviously, actor, the CBO is a bunch of lieberal fascists who want to kill your granny.
HAH! I showed that bunch of commie fascists liberals and beat them to the punch! I killed her myself!
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:12
Staffer punks
Staffer punks
Staffer punks-Fuck Off!
Well played, sir, well played.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:13
Behold the sparkle of champagne
The crime rate’s gone
Feel free again
O’ life’s a dream with you, Miss Lily White
Jane Fonda on the screen today
Convinced the liberals it’s okay
So let’s get dressed and dance away the night
While they:
Kill kill kill kill Kill the poor:Tonight
Mysticdog said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:18
My country, ’tis for me
Sweet land of subsidy
Give me my cash
But none for that other guy
Else I’ll break down and cry
He does not deserve like I
Give me my cash
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:23
I knew I could rely on you, actor.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:23
O bountiful for sleazy guys,
For verdant waves of cash,
For purple assets shoved at me
By the richest of the rich!
America! America!
God shed his grace on me
And what the fuck is “brotherhood”
From me to shining me!
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:23
I’m shocked it didn’t occur to me earlier, Pere.
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:28
Wall Street calling to the faraway towns
Bankruptcy’s declared-and bailout come down
Wall Street calling: we’re the underworld
We’re out of the cupboard, we’ve bought all our shills!
Wall Street calling, now don’t look at us
All that phoney oversight has bitten the dust
Wall Street calling, see we ain’t got no swing
‘Cept for the ring of that PENIS thing
CHORUS
The meltdown is coming, the sun is zooming in
Bankers stop lending and the money’s growing thin
A financial error, but I have no fear
Wall Street has money-and I sink in the river
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:33
In the middle of the road,
You see the darnest things.
Like fat cats driving around in jeeps through the city,
Wearing big diamond rings and silk suits.
Past corrugated tin shacks holed up with kids and
Man I don’t mean a Hampstead nursery.
But when you own a big chunk of the bloody third world,
The babies just come with the scenery.
N__B said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:33
No changes really needed:
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:36
This is exactly like that Rocky movie with the giant, industrially developed Soviet boxer, except that Nancy Pelosi and the liberals’ staffers are (appropriately) the giant tyrannical RussoCommie, and the country’s biggest bankers are the plucky Rocky, pulling a sled or whatever through the snow behind him, and the Republicans are like Rocky’s loving and devoted wife.
address my envelope, lips! said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:37
On the wings of cash
Only the few of us
With bonuses to spare,
On the wings of cash
Please don’t screw with us
We need first class plane fare…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:41
As everybody knows, it is necessary for the regulated industry to approve of the regulations, or we just shouldn’t do it.
Admittedly, the drug dealing industry supports maintaining the government’s regulations regarding their fine products….
N__B said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:42
Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz…
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:42
This little bank of mine
Bailout’s gonna be fine
This little bank of mine
Bailout’s gonna be fine
This little bank of mine
Bailout’s gonna be fine
We’ll be fine we’ll be fine we’ll be fine
Don’t like that? How ’bout this?
If I had a bailout
I’d be rich in the morning
I’d be rich in the evening
All over this land
I’d bail out out bankers
I’d bail out out A-I-G
I’d bail out wealth for all my brothers and my sisters
All over this land
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:48
Little banker little one
Made my wallet come all undone
Do you love me, do you banker man?
Banker man my little banker man
I have watched you on the phone
Scoring another million more
Do you love me do you banker man
Banker man banker man
Esteev said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:51
After 12, I’m worse than a banker
Feed me cash or I start to hanker
The thrill of suspense is intense, your horrified
But this is the cinemas of Tales From the Darkside,
By any means neccesary, this is what has to be done
Make way ’cause here I come….
My wife needs material….
We’re imperial.
Don't give Nymstradamus that do goody good bullshit. said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:53
Do the Wall Street shuffle
Hear the money rustle
Watch the greenbacks tumble
Feel the Sterling crumble
You need a yen to make a mark
If you wanna make money
You need the luck to make a buck
If you wanna be Getty, Rothschild
You’ve gotta be cool on Wall Street
You’ve gotta be cool on Wall Street
When your index is low
Dow Jones ain’t got time for the bums
They wind up on skid row with holes in their pockets
They plead with you, buddy can you spare the dime
But you ain’t got the time
Doin’ the….
Doin’ the….
Oh, Howard Hughes
Did your money make you better?
Are you waiting for the hour
When you can screw me?
‘Cos you’re big enough
To do the Wall Street Shuffle
Let your money hustle
Bet you’d sell your mother
You can buy another
Doin’ the….
Doin’ the….
You buy and sell
You wheel and deal
But you’re living on instinct
You get a tip
You follow it
And you make a big killing
On Wall Street
beejeez said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:53
We are Morgan
We are Goldman
We are Bank of America
and we’ve got to buy ourselves federal pa-a-a-arrrr-dons…
Wannabe Snark said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:55
Right.
Didn’t Wall Street contribute mostly to Obama? Aren’t they practically holding the Goldman Sachs reunion party in the Oval Office?
Not even trying on this one.
Esteev said,
March 18, 2010 at 17:59
It’s a must that I bust any bank you hand to me,
It’s inherited, it’s runs in the family
I wrote the legislation that broke the country’s back,
If that don’t slow ‘em up, I carry a full sack.
Ladies and Gentleman, You’re about to see
A pasttime lobby about to be
Take it to the maximum, I can’t relax see, I’m
Hype as a hyperchrondriac ’cause the vig be one-
Hell of a antidote, something you can’t smoke
More than dope, you’re trying to move away but you can’t, we’re broke
More than cracked up, you should have backed up
For those who act up need to be more than smacked up
Any legislator, I got a torture chamber
One on one and I’m the remainder!
So close your eyes and hold your breath,
And I’m a hit’cha wit the blow of death
Before you go, you’ll remember you seen
The fiend of a banker, I’m a bonus-cash fiend
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:02
Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they’re red, white and blue.
And when the band plays “Hail to the chief”,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord,
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no senator’s son, son.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, no,
Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don’t they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no millionaire’s son, no.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord,
And when you ask them, “How much should we give?”
Ooh, they only answer More! more! more! yoh,
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no military son, son.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, one.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate one, no no no,
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate son, no no no,
N__B said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:04
I wanna be on top
Forever on the up
And damn the competition
I never play it fair
I never turn a hair
Just like the politicians
I wrap my conscience up
I wanna win that cup
And get my money baby
But back in the dressing room
The other side is weeping
And we’re winning, winning ugly
And we’re winning, winning ugly
owlbear1 said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:15
Pop goes weasel!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:25
This regulation’s designed to bounce
What counts
is the big stacks
And checks that fill your PACs
Now that you’ve realized
That Wall Street’s arrived
You got to pump the things that makes us blings
From the heart
It’s a start
A work of art
To incentivize, make no change, it’s ain’t strange
People, people we are the same…
NO! We’re not the same ’cause you don’t know the game
We need you to be careless, no awareness
From agencies and attorney offices
My owned congress, let’s get down to business
Fleecing rubes for fiduciary fitness.
Yo! Give us the dough! Ya gotta increase our money flow
And we’ll write them campaign checks, as well as the regulatory text.
You gonna hear us say
We are The Power. Yeah.
We are THE POWER. All Right.
We are Teh POW-AHHH. Yeah.
We are The Powers That Be.
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:28
DKW’s latest contribution makes me think that Rage Against the Machine would prolly have a tweakable lyric but I’m not sufficiently familiar, sadly.
Unlike my familiarity with his mom.
owlbear1 said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:29
Boehner went on to add, “I’ve made my staff available as fluffers , so drop on by anytime you need!”
soullite said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:38
Given that Obama is one of the most corrupt pieces of shit to ever occupy the oval office (outdone by GWB himself, and probably nobody else), this argument reaks to high heaven.
Obama wipped too hard for TARP to pretend that Democrats are somehow enemies of bankers. Democrats are probably going to lose at least one house of congress next year precisely because they are seen as the minions of bankers.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:43
Given that Obama is one of the most corrupt pieces of shit to ever occupy the oval office (outdone by GWB himself, and probably nobody else), this argument reaks to high heaven.
Oh reeeeeeeeheeeheeeeeally, now?
I think of people like this when I hear this song:
All the gold and the guns in the world
Couldn’t get you off
All the gold and the guns and the girls
Couldn’t get you off
All the boys, all the choices in the world
I remember when we were gambling to win
Everybody else said better luck next time
I don’t wanna bend let the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
Is it ever gonna be enough?
Is it ever gonna be enough?
All the lace and the skin in the shop
Couldn’t get you off
All the toys and the tools in the box
Couldn’t get you off
All the noise, all the voices never stop
I remember when we were gambling to win
Everybody else said better luck next time
I don’t wanna bend let the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
While you’re giving me a hard time
I remember when we were gambling to win
Everybody else said ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Is it ever gonna be enough?
More and more, more and more…
Is it ever gonna be enough?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:43
Democrats are seen as the minions of bankers, so the voters will instead vote for the wholly owned subsidiaries, the Republicans?
That’s a pretty damn stupid argument.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:44
soullite!
Awesome, I’m gonna go get me some popcorn.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:48
Hey, wait. Is soullite the douche that trolls Think Progress?
I mean, they’ve got a lot of trolls there, but the name is familiar.
owlbear1 said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:50
Son, do you really think screaming, “Nobody move, I have a gun!” hides the fact you’re waving a dildo around?
Marion in Savannah said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:51
Moran troll can’t spell either. “Reaks” and “wipped” almost make me wonder if it’s a parody troll.
Istanbul ( not Constantinople) said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:53
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they’ve overcome their shyness
Now they’re calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”
I destroyed the bonds of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who’d even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:56
I’m pretty sure he predates me here. Anyways, I’m allupons since the delightful breakdown he had at BM Matt’s.
I was arguing basically the same points he was – that the hippie punching by progressives was over the top and that the shit sandwich doesn’t in fact taste so damn good. Still, even I had to take a swing at him for being too uncivil.
Yup. I thought he was being a PENIS. Despite how many times I’ve fucked his mom.
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:56
We stand ‘em up against the wall and POP goes the weasel!
Marion in Savannah said,
March 18, 2010 at 18:59
Pete Seeger will never forgive me:
Little boxes full of sacks of cash,
Little boxes full of bullion bars,
Little boxes full of billions more,
And they all belong to me.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:01
I like tax cuts and I can not lie
Firmly on the side of supply
That when Boehner walks in with priorities misplaced
And orange shit on his face
You get greedy, wanna pull out your wad
‘Cause you feel like a finance god.
On the books your bank is failing
But Congress keeps on bailing.
Oh Boehner I want to back you
Let the liberals attack you
My homeboys tried to be tellin’
That your vote you would be sellin’
Ooh, face-o’-fake-tans
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, contact me on Twitter
‘Cause you ain’t the average congresscritter
I’ve seen them failin’
So get with the bailin’
We’re needy, greedy,
Like Audrey we’re cryin’ “Feed me”
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ cutbacks are the thing
Take the average banker and ask him that
Gotta make the tax rate flat.
So, bankers! (Yeah!) Bankers! (Yeah!)
Has your bank got the bailout? (Hell yeah!)
Tell ‘em to bail it! (Bail it!) Bail it! (Bail it!)
Then make a tax cut!
GOP hack!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:03
I’m pretty sure he predates me here. Anyways, I’m allupons since the delightful breakdown he had at BM Matt’s.
I don’t know why, but this comment made me giggle.
Yeah, if I’m on your “side” and you’re being such an ass that I call you out, you are a dick.
justme said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:11
We skipped the light CDO
sold options ‘cross the floor
I was feeling kinda leveraged
but the rubes called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ‘conomy flew away
When we called out for another bonus
the Senator brought a tray
And so it was that later
as the bankster shook his peen
that bailout, at first just ghostly,
turned a brighter shade of green
justme said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:12
Must be the ferrethandjobs.
gbear said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:12
“Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves,” Boehner said.
Umm…doesn’t Boehner have ‘staff’? I can imagine how pumped they are to hear themselves called little punks. That’ll play out well next time he needs something in a hurry. I’d probably go get my own coffee for a while too. if you know what I mean…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:14
Sarah, go back to the Bump-It. PLEASE.
Jill said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:14
Hungry little banker on a marble floor
Got three Summer houses but I really want four
Can’t fly my copter to the jewelry store
That,s how it is when you’re poor
owlbear1 said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:19
on March 18, 2010 at 19:01, Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
That was fucking funny!
tls said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:21
Now look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it
You blame the public when you’re on TV
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your blow for free
Now that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your [enter] finger
Maybe get a blister on your [spacebar] thumb
We got to pay for getting our money
Point of purchase and ATM fees
We got to keep a minimum balance
We got to pay those processing fees
[etc]
Substance McGravitas said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:23
God damn it, I was just gonna do BIG BUCKS.
jim said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:23
The only song that comes immediately to mind is “Sick Things” by Alice Cooper.
But singing isn’t actually the activity that seems apropos here.
Seems to me one of these days some knuckle-dragging pol or corporate butt-boy is going to let one blooper too many slip, out in public in real-time … & before you know it you’re going to see some unpleasantness.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:26
God damn it, I was just gonna do BIG BUCKS.
Make it so- I’d like to see your take on Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ouvre.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:30
With apologies to Sam Clemens
Your eyes have seen the glory of the coming of your lords
We were trading out derivatives where the liar loans are stored,
We took TARP funds for Bonus Time and now we want some MOAR
Deregulation will go on.
Glory, glory for Fat Pay Days
The harvest of our usurious ways
And the draining of your 401k’s
Deregulation will go on.
You have seen us in the dead eyes of those families on the streets,
We took their homes after writing loans with terms they could not meet;
And crashed things down with packages built on those loans indiscreet
Deregulation will go on.
Dan Someone said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:30
T&U wins for the Metric shout-out.
New car, caviar, four star daydream. Think Nymstradamus will buy him a football team. said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:31
Big Bad Bald Bastard for the win.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:31
We’ll be stealing from the leets
With the poor folks at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Give us money short and long
They decide and the Congress sings the song
I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at no change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
And I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
BlackBloc said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:33
“Which side are you on, boys?
Which side are you on?
Which side are you on, boys?
Which side are you on?
Oh bankers can you stand it?
Oh tell me how you can?
Will you let staffers punk you
Or will you be a man?
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:33
Your eyes have seen the glory of the coming of your
lordsmomFixe-diddle-dee-dee!
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:33
sorry, CAKE:
Fed rules, FDIC
Regulation’s all got to go
When I’m working in my bank
Got the Senate in the tank
CHORUS:
I need you to give me
Every cent of your money
I need you to give me
Bonuses and banking fees
BRIDGE:
Well my houses and cars….
Don’t come for free.
Yeah and when I’m at my bar I need my money
Need my money close to meeeeee!
Bad home loans and CDOs
Make the economy go
When I’m driving us off a cliff
Liz Warren doesn’t make me stiff
CHORUS:
&c
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:34
Dr. Quit, Medicine Woman.
*snerk* :)
And that all political power is inherent in the people. Government originates just from the will of the people. It’s implemented according to the will of the people.
Geez, Sarah, don’t you know listening to duh peeplez is just governing by focus group? Manly men of macho action just do whatever the hell they want, like, oh, um, invading someplace or other. ‘Cause we’z stupid and we need our betters to tell us what to believe.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:35
And that all political power is inherent in the people.
So when NWA sang, Fight Tha Power, they were talking ’bout kickin’ yo skinny skanky white ass up an down da block?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:36
No lyric tweaking required.
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:42
No, they meant that banking billionaires had to stand up to The Man in the form of 26 year old Congressional aides asking them about the transactions they had approved and their relation to existing regulation.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 19:54
No lyric tweaking required.
Lulz.
No, they meant that banking billionaires had to stand up to The Man in the form of 26 year old Congressional aides asking them about the transactions they had approved and their relation to existing regulation.
Double lulz.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:14
Politicians and bankers make me think of Dogs by Pink Floyd, no changes needed:
I’m especially hopeful for the “dragged down by the stone” bit…
Damn Animals is a good album.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:16
Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do!
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:18
Damn Animals is a good album.
Seconded.
Oregon Beer Snob said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:20
Continuing the animal theme and providing an appropriate Rage Against The Machine lyric as mentioned by somebody above:
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:33
(to the tune of Moon River)
John Boehner, Tanner than the Cree
We’re buying us your vote today
Oh, deal breaker, you profit maker
Wherever you’re going, I’m going your way
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:47
The Day the Ooniverse Changed:
Welcome to how most of us felt for the 8 years your idiot chief shat upon this nation.
Professor Griff, Minister of Information said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:54
Huh?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:56
Janelle Nagy sat up in bed watching Obama’s victory speech in horror, her bedcovers tucked tightly under her chin.
“That brown man is going to come right through the TV and rape me!”
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:57
Janelle Nagy sat up in bed watching Obama’s victory speech in horror, her bedcovers tucked tightly under her chin.
“That brown man is going to come right through the TV and rape me!”
“He’s going to ram his massive change down my lilly-white throat!”
Pere Ubu said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:58
Some 40 miles away in the suburb of Grayslake, local businesswoman Janelle Nagy sat up in bed watching Obama’s victory speech in horror, her bedcovers tucked tightly under her chin.
“I told my husband how afraid I was for America,” she said, her hands held close to her face as if still clutching a blanket like a scared child.
Hopefully she changed the sheets afterward.
And it’s not quite equivalent to how we felt under Shrub’s rule, because we had a fucking reason to be paranoid. Mizz Janelle is just being a fucking tool by being scared of a vaugely centrist President, and it has nothing to do with his skin color nope nu-huh nosir nohow.
PeeJ said,
March 18, 2010 at 20:59
PENIS drives Truckee Nutz.
Lawnguylander said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:00
It’s a pity soullite didn’t contribute to the abortion debate in the previous thread because he’s got some interesting ideas on gender differences. Here are my favorite bits of his lunacy from that Yglesias thread:
And then:
(pisses in soullite’s face)
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:02
From El Cid’s link:
“Social security is socialism,” said Jim Chase, 80, a retiree on social security, who is a member of the Ludington Tea Party. “If we don’t stop all this spending, we won’t have anything left for our grandchildren.”
Socialist teabagger mofo!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:04
“Social security is socialism,” said Jim Chase, 80, a retiree on social security, who is a member of the Ludington Tea Party. “If we don’t stop all this spending, we won’t have anything left for our grandchildren.”
Fine, give that money back, you old fart. You think I want to help support your dumb decrepit ass?
Oregon Beer Snob said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:09
This thread needs moar PENIS.
Also. And yeah, why the hell doesn’t somebody somewhere in the press walk up to one of these obviously-on-social-security-and-medicare wankstains at one of these teabagger events and ask them if they refuse their social security and buy their own insurance?
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:10
STOP ME BEFORE I TAKE SOCIAL SECURITY SOCIALISM AGAIN!
I can’t help it, I can’t resist when the liberals insert their giant, massive socialist packages DOWN MY THROAT.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:12
You honestly want to pretend that men and women react the same way when someone pissing in their face? A woman may well try to rationalize it. A man just punches the guy.
I presume he speaks from personal experience.
Mihokoji said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:13
Rates! How low can you go?
CDS, what a banker know
once again back is the incredible,
hand-out animal
the incredible G
public enemy number one
wall street said “freeze!”
and I got numb
should I tell them that I never really had a sum?
But it’s the checks that the senate and the house spun
now they got me in a cell
cause my house, it won’t sell
cause a critter like cantor said well,
“bernanke’s a prophet that I think you ought to listen to,
what he can give to you
what you gotta do is borrow for now
all of the bankers say
give the bonuses
make my quotas
wall street is back
all in they’re gonna win
Check it out
here we go again…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:15
This thread needs moar PENIS.
Oh, phew. I saw the icanhascheezburger link and was afraid it would be a picture of a cat engaging in “Desmond Time,” as we call it in my household. (And he’s neutered. WTF?)
And yeah, why the hell doesn’t somebody somewhere in the press walk up to one of these obviously-on-social-security-and-medicare wankstains at one of these teabagger events and ask them if they refuse their social security and buy their own insurance?
Because they don’t want to be called communists? Honestly, I have no idea. I’d much rather pay taxes to fund hipster purchases of organic rabbit than some asshole who thinks government-funded healthcare is immoral even while he or she takes advantage of it.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:15
OT, and blog-whorey, but some bastard’s got a foodie blog.
Time to turn the peer pressure on PeeJ now.
PeeJ said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:17
I can’t help it, I can’t resist when the liberals insert their giant, massive socialist packages DOWN MY THROAT.
The Florida
teabagggersGØP Tea-roomers pay $20 for that.actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:18
OT, and blog-whorey, but some bastard’s got a foodie blog.
Zeppole….mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Damn, and it’s St Joe’s day tomorrow, which means every frikkin’ bakery around me will be making them.
Rats. So many choices,
so few abortions to have.so little sugar to consume.tls said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:26
A woman may well try to rationalize it. A man just punches the guy.
Hrm. I must be a guy. *checks her crotch* Oh my God! Someone stole my penis!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:30
Hrm. I must be a guy. *checks her crotch* Oh my God! Someone stole my penis!
Check the vendors on the Lower East Side.
Substance McGravitas said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:30
I swear they just wander on their own.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:36
I swear they just wander on their own.
That was my excuse to my first wife.
tls said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:37
Check the vendors on the Lower East Side.
Hah, that is one of my favorite songs, mainly for the hilarious dead-pan delivery.
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:41
They make the awesome zeppoles on Aquidneck Island, btw, if you’re ever in the neighbourhood of Southern New England…
Walter Cronkite said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:42
This…Just in….The President’s Penis Is Missing…I repeat…at 4PM Eastern Daylight Time…around 3 PM Central Daylight Time…the President’s Penis was reported missing…
justme said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:42
Re: pissing in their face,
There are those, like soullite, who just lie back in the urinal trough and open wide.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:44
They make the awesome zeppoles on Aquidneck Island
That may be true, but the ones in New York come with authentic bits of Jimmy Hoffa in them. You guys have to use the fake stuff.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:52
They make the awesome zeppoles on Aquidneck Island, btw, if you’re ever in the neighbourhood of Southern New England…
I hear that Aquidneck is known for stewed squidneck.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:54
hear that Aquidneck is known for stewed squidneck.
I thought it was bearded quahogs.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 21:54
Or maybe they race seahorses there.
HAH! I crack me up!
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:05
That may be true, but the ones in New York come with authentic bits of Jimmy Hoffa in them. You guys have to use the fake stuff.
True, true – the Raymond Nels Nelson sprinkles up here just don’t have quite the same flavour…
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:08
And there will soon be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:10
Cap’n America’s, um, shield looks pathetically small.
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:10
Oh fuck, the Tea Partiers have joined up with the LaRouchies. One quantum leap closer to the wingnut singularity…
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:10
Bob Seger:
……..
I want a yacht for sailing
Ironically, Seger ended up getting that yacht – and winning the Mackinac Race a couple of times.
(switches to Paul Harvey voice)
And now you know the rest of the story.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:15
Oh fuck, the Tea Partiers have joined up with the LaRouchies. One quantum leap closer to the wingnut singularity…
Oddly enough, they were always together. This charmer, Audrey Tatou’s insane sister, was a LaRouchie.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:19
And there will soon be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.
SHUT UP! That’s not real! Is that real???
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:19
And on the day of Sunday, which certain faiths hold as their holy day, there will be even more weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:25
Oddly enough, they were always together. This charmer, Audrey Tatou’s insane sister, was a LaRouchie.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Only so many variants on the paranoid conspiracy theorist to go around; shouldn’t be any wonder they make common cause.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:29
And on the day of Sunday, which certain faiths hold as their holy day, there will be even more weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Weren’t they pissing and moaning about how people early-voting on Sunday was a horrific affront to Ghod? And that early-voting in general was totes undemocratic?
actor212 said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:30
Weren’t they pissing and moaning about how people early-voting on Sunday was a horrific affront to Ghod?
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!!!! THERE’S A NIG– NEGRO IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:48
“I love America the way it is,” added Nagy, now a leader of the Northern Illinois Patriots.
Sounds like somebody needs a hug.
Or possibly the Blues Brothers driving through their march.
One or the other.
pedestrian said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:48
God is offended by any vote that is taken while Democrats control the government
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:50
God is offended by any vote that is taken while Democrats control the government.
So, we’ll get to rule forever then!
I mean, there’s no possible way they’d spurn God’s feelings on the matter to serve their own selfish needs, right? I mean, that’d be preposterous, behaving as if God’s ineffable word were somehow up to reinterpretation and thereby fulfilling what they already wanted to do…
pedestrian said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:52
Also, God supported hereditary monarchy and lost, so now God gets to STFU about politics.
LD said,
March 18, 2010 at 22:55
Man, that is THE WAY to deal with people like this. I like this Frank guy. Brains AND spine and funny to boot. Had he added a joke about his dining room table being more stable even with it’s wobble leg it would have been perfect, but in any case a great show.
Whale Chowder said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:04
So, we’ll get to rule forever then!
…for some very small value of “rule.”
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:18
This is an awesome breakdown of what sort of people make up today’s Republican base.
Current Florida Governor Charlie Crist isn’t doing too well in polls for the Republican primary for Senator versus super-ultra rightie Marc Rubio, losing 30-58. It no longer even looks like switching to a Democrat would help (it used to seem that way).
But watch what happens when Research 2000, a polling firm frequently hired by DailyKos, breaks down the polling by Non-Birther / Birther / Maybe Birther:
There you have it. Your modern Republican Party. In which primaries look to be won by the candidate most appealing to those voters who think Obama may be or is some illegal Kenyan un-American.
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:19
Link.
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:19
And link.
Substance McGravitas said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:20
Captain America hates teabaggers.
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:25
You know I’m sick of the entitled fucking liberal position to automatically descend into class warfare to attack bankers. I mean if some 2nd shift worker at some factory walks into a gas station to buy a pack of GPC cigarettes and buys a scratchoff ticket at the same time and wins a bunch of money we don’t all bust his chops. It just makes liberals look like entitled little douches to be happy for the guy who wins money on the lottery but be pissy with the bankers. In fact, I once read a book for a junior college class I eventually dropped in which a total Marxist dude radically deconstructed the underlying trappings of class envy and applied a theory qua theory rather than theory qua mechanism qua theory approach and declared “Bonuses for everybody!” I can’t recall the name of the book right now but I can quote it for you chapter and verse after I finish eating (it is currently being used to prop up the one leg on my dining room table that is slightly shorter than the other legs).
El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:35
Goodness knows how all those elitist proletarians keep shoving their delicious exploitedness in our faces. Who will stop these limousine Marxists from RAMMING THEIR HUGE AND DEEP OPPRESSION DOWN AMERICA’S THROAT?
Darth Revan said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:39
I hear ya El Cid. You know what really gets under my skin when people accuse bankers and predatory lenders of “theft” and corruption?
And the people whose privileges they are defending are not
rape and assault victimsrobbery or burglary victims or even poor women whoget pregnantwere mugged but generally spoiled rich kids with over-inflated senses of entitlement, and that sticks in my craw – for the same reason the glibertarians do (and often using the same language about ‘individual rights’).El Cid said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:44
The problem with liberals descending into class warfare is that they soon come back out. We’d be much better off not having given up the major side in the class war for the past 30 years, since the actual upper classes have been on the attack for about 2 generations now.
Lesley said,
March 18, 2010 at 23:52
How is it the teabaggers always fail to miss Republicans supporting banksters and their ill gained profit schemes?
Oh I know. Fox doesn’t cover that.
actor212 said,
March 19, 2010 at 1:32
You know I’m sick of the entitled fucking liberal position to automatically descend into class warfare to attack bankers
In fairness, most bankers are douches.
A Journal of the Plague Year said,
March 19, 2010 at 1:56
The classics are always the best:
Ah! ça ira, ça ira, ça ira
les aristocrates à la lanterne!
Ah! ça ira, ça ira, ça ira
les aristocrates on les pendra!
Sung to a sprightly, upbeat tune. The best part involves sodomizing the bodies with shovels!
See, this is why I love the French so much: so intensely civilized and yet so savage when provoked!
Spaghetti Lee said,
March 19, 2010 at 2:54
Prog nerd checking in, posting prog-nerdy shit:
I found a new religion yesterday, I’d just cleared immigration jfk
A priest got in a cadillac, the shoe shine boy sang gospel
As God and his accountants drove away.
You’ll see him coast to coast on live tv, in a stadium
Rocked by satan just the night before
The collection from the faithful is tax free
It’ll pay for his presidential campaign and his yacht
And we all bow down, we bow down to the big wedge
And we’ll buy ourselves some heaven on earth
We sell our souls, sell our souls for big wedge
Are we selling out tomorrow for today?
A surgeon checks your plastic on the telephone
A casio concerto entertains you while you hold
Your credit rating’s good for a madonna or a bardot
A dali or a picasso for his wall.
You’re looking good, looking good with big wedge
Are you holding back tomorrow for today?
They’re driving in, driving in with big wedge
Are we selling out tomorrow for today?
You’ll sell the ground beneath your feet
You’ll sell your oil, you’ll sell your trees
You ideals and integrity your culture and your history
Your children into slavery to labour in their factories
Your mother and your family
You’ll sell the world eventually.
The imf and cia; there’s just no difference they’re all the same!
It just depends on what’s your point of view
America, america the big wedge
And they’re buying up your tomorrow with promises
The promises of big wedge and they’ll break them
Like your hearts another day
When you find out that you’ve left it just too late
And find that you’re the only one to blame
That you sold out your tomorrow for big wedge
Darth Revan said,
March 19, 2010 at 3:09
In fairness, most bankers are douches.
And so are nymjack trolls.
Shell Goddamnit said,
March 19, 2010 at 4:56
Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered I’ve seen lots of funny men some will rob you with a six-gun and some with a fountain pen
As through this world you travel and through this world you roam you won’t never see an outlaw drive a family from their home
Darth Revan said,
March 19, 2010 at 5:17
I get especially angry when I am “nymjacked” by someone who goes on to post my own ignorant, embarrassing words. Demonstrating what a complete cunt I am by reminding people of things I’ve actually said is, like, totally unfair just like all those entitled stuck-up women I want to punish for not responding to my hamfisted, flopsweaty advances.
Darth Revan said,
March 19, 2010 at 6:03
Nice try, Troofs. But the armchair psychobabble was boring the first time you tried it.