Feb
26

So Sorry, Al Jaffee




Posted at 23:59 by D. Aristophanes

A shocking secret is revealed!

Answer below the fold!

170 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:02

    But Alpacas are not goats!

  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:02

    The goats will be devastated!

  3. Al Packer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:03

    Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

    Hoo youse callen’ a “goat”, uhn?

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:03

    Damn you Actor- this aggression hilarity will not stand!!!

  5. itwasntme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:04

    totally the most awesommmest posting of all times.

  6. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:06

    Uh, who? Me? What I do?

  7. Wyatt Watts III said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:19

    I folded mine wrong and got some dude in an Alpaca-furred pimp suit.

  8. Milo Johnson said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:21

    Yeah, they aren’t goats, he’s just alpaca-curious.

  9. tigrismus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:22

    GASP Kaus has leetle devil horns!

  10. Goats everywhere said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:24

    Kaus you cheating bastard!

  11. Dr. Squid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:25

    Mickey Kaus is in a cheatin’ kind of way.

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:34

    Most difficult centerfold for masturbating EVER.

    Still…

  13. Mark said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:35

    Mickey Kaus is “Tiger Woodsing” his way through the barnyard.

  14. stryx said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:43

    I fully expected a Kaus goatse.

    MAybe next time….

  15. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 0:45

    Most difficult centerfold for masturbating EVER.

    Not if you’re a billy goat.

  16. Francisco The Man said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:04

    This is awesome.

  17. Retracto the Correction Alpaca said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:14

    OK, bitches, that does it. I’m coming down the hill right now, and you better start saying your prayers, D.A., ’cause when I’m done with you, you’ll be wishing that you never messed with this Vicugna pacos. It’s on.

  18. USA Freedom Power said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:24

    Only liberals think having sex with animals is funny, and therefore something to smear good Christians with.

  19. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:24

    OT, but just came across this little tribute to some of our finer journalists:

    http://blacktable.com/gillin030520.htm

    Every time I see Mike Barnicle and Doris Kearns Goodwin on my teevee I thank god that dirty fucking hippie bloggers are held to higher standards than those that toil in print and visual media.

  20. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:26

    Only liberals think having sex with animals is funny

    So true. For conservatives, it’s deadly serious. And satisfying.

  21. USA Freedom Power said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:27

    By the way, liberals, I am looking forward to your pinko health care sceme that will bankrup our children being tossed onto the scrap heap of history, never count out the free market…. with enough freedom and without regulation, it provides all.

  22. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:29

    Wait. You’re looking forward to bankruptinig our children so you can be vindicated?

  23. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:30

    By the way, liberals, I am looking forward to your pinko health care sceme that will bankrup our children being tossed onto the scrap heap of history, never count out the free market…. with enough freedom and without regulation, it provides all.

    That was the most coherent statement ever written.

  24. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:30

    Also, sex with animals is objectively funny unless one party succumbs to their injuries.

  25. Alkonholics Untie! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:31

    This is the winningest win a winner ever did win.

  26. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:31

    Say what you will about liberals rooting against the troops, they never came out and said they couldn’t wait for more to die so they could be right. I mean goddamn.

  27. Jody said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:33

    Well, there’s no way to top THIS post. Guess we can all go home.

    Can the last person to leave the internet please turn off the lights?

  28. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:34

    Also, sex with animals is objectively funny unless one party succumbs to their injuries.

    It’s all fun and games until the lawyers get involved.

  29. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:36

    The lawyers and the anthrax, ca

  30. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:38

    Anthrax were funny when that lame singer was dancing around with the Indian headdress.

  31. Pseudonymph said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:41

    How come Sadly, No! doesn’t have some animal mascot who’s a Senior Fellow? Or would it be the Badger?

  32. pedestrian said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:42

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When a goat or alpaca dies that has been especially “close” to someone here, he goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of the “special friends” so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and the “friends” are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been infected or old are restored to health and nubility. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as they are in fantasies of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they know that Mickey is coming.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His fearful body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    Mickey has been spotted, and when he and his special friend finally meet, he will hold them together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. His happy kisses will rain upon the poor beast’s face; his hands again caress the beloved “head”, and he looks once more into the terrified eyes of his “pet”, so long gone from his life but never absent from his heart.

    Then they “cross the Rainbow Bridge” together….

  33. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:43

    Butthurto, the Rejection Capybara

  34. loretta said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:45

    It’s spelled “scheme.”

    We need better trolls.

  35. Pseudonymph said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:48

    Perhaps a LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLama?

  36. Dhalgren said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:52

    From the Slate archives:

    P.S.: Breitbart’s a friend of mine, though I have some fundamental disagreements with him. I’d like to think I’d like him even if he weren’t the kind of guy whose good side you want to stay on–because you have a feeling you and everyone you know might be working for him one day. (He has lots of entrepreneurial energy.)

    Yes. He was raptured by Breitbart’s, ahem, energy.

  37. Lesley said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:57

    This masterpiece should be included in “The Best of SadlyNo’s Worst Wingnuts: Editor’s Cut: Collector’s Edition”.

    It would sit well next to HTML Mencken’s epic Wingnut All-Star:Jeff Goldstein” series.

  38. Dhalgren said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:57

    I second the capybara nomination.

  39. Dhalgren said,

    February 27, 2010 at 1:57

    The Jeff Goldstein and Rich Lowry wingnut series both had me pissing myself they were so effing good.

  40. J— said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:08

    Uh oh, DA, now Patterico might really do a post on you now!

  41. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:09

    I love the graphic on the right here. I wanna alter it but someone would do it better than I would.

    Replacements for what’s there:

    Boners
    Parental Beatings
    Money
    Dope
    Devil Worship

  42. Debbie Fiderer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:09

    THE ALPACA IS A FINE AND NOBLE BEAST AND I DEMAND BREITBART STOP EXPLOITING IT

  43. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:14

    THE ALPACA IS A FINE AND NOBLE BEAST

    Ask DKW’s mom if she’s gotten the ring yet.

  44. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:20

    Only liberals think having sex with animals is funny, and therefore something to smear good Christians with.

    Nah, if you’re going to smear good Christians (so called), santorum’s the substance you need.

    Although the Haggards and Craigs of the world seem to do it themselves.

  45. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:22

    I don’t think Alpacas should be forced to dress like pimps.

  46. tigrismus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:31

    never count out the free market…. with enough freedom and without regulation, it provides all.

    Holy crap, you really don’t know anything about anything, do you? I bet you don’t even know anyone who knows anything, or if they did they forgot it upon meeting you and your contagious radiating dumb.

  47. WOLVERINES! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:33

    How come Sadly, No! doesn’t have some animal mascot who’s a Senior Fellow? Or would it be the Badger?

    WTF? WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEE???

    DON’T MAKE ME GO ALL PATRICK SWAZE ON YOUR DUMBASSES!

  48. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:34

    Only liberals think having sex with animals is funny, and therefore something to smear good Christians with.

    Um, Mickey Kaus is Jewish…you know, Christkiller?

  49. Mr. Wonderful said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:35

    Substance–

    Yes, say it now and say it loud: Science and Medicine are the enemies of Christians.

    As my daughter would say when she was ten, “Fine okay FINE!” Then don’t go to doctors. Praise Jesus and wait for a miracle.

    You’ll note that site says “Who We Are” but dare not also say “What The Fuck We Really Are.” Cowards.

  50. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:37

    BTW, OT, but I’m loving me some Canadian women’s hockey players.

    Nothing like seeing a girl smoke a stogie.

  51. Whale Chowder said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:38

    Ask DKW’s mom if she’s gotten the ring yet.

    WHAT?! THAT CHEATING BITCH!

  52. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:40

    From the Mickey the Monkey link that Dhalgren thoughtfully provided:

    ACORN also conspicuously organized to resist welfare reform after the big 1996 reform law was signed by President Clinton. I’m amazed that any national Democrat who claims to have learned any of the lessons of Clintonism, or even wants to be elected from a non-Berkeleyesque district, would have anything to do with them.

    Those motherfuckers at ACORN, trying to resist welfare “reform”! Fuck them sideways! Who the hell do they think they are, advocating for poor people and shit? Don’t they know that politicians can only associate with special interest groups that favor the rights of rich people to get even richer?

    I swear, all the goddamn corruption and backroom dealing that goes on in politics, and people like Kaushole decide that ACORN is worthy of being shamed and shunned. Even if he wasn’t a goat fucker, he would be a useless pile of alpaca droppings.

  53. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:43

    Nothing like seeing a girl smoke a stogie.

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, actor.

  54. tigrismus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:43

    I don’t think Alpacas should be forced to dress like pimps.

    More popular than you’d think

  55. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:45

    Love that headline: IOC to investigate Canadian women’s hockey team for celebration

    Those bee-yotches! Who do they think they are, with their celebrating and enjoying victories and whatnot? BACK INNA KITCHEN AND FIX ME A SAMMICH!

  56. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:47

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, actor.

    Yea, but they can get Cubans up there!

  57. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:48

    I don’t think Alpacas should be forced to dress like pimps.

    More popular than you’d think

    You think you’re funny, but then you see tragedy like this.

  58. Mickey Kaus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:48

    She gots a purty mouf

  59. Mickey Kaus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:50

    You think you’re funny, but then you see tragedy like this.

    She gots a purty mouf, too….scuse mah FINGahs.

  60. J— said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:56

    You think you’re funny, but then you see tragedy like this.

    That’s a llama.

  61. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 2:57

    Education, Media, Academia, Science, Medicine, and Entertainment are key players responsible for shaping our culture. Our vision is to see these institutions [giants] and the policies regulating their conduct, restored to Christian values.

    Well, considering that all those things existed well before Christianity was even starting to be cobbled together out of bits of old pagan mythology, mystery cults, and various other cosmic debris, how they’re supposed to be “restored to Christian values” seems a bit problematic. Do we restore Education to the values of the 9th century, when only a group of elite monks were taught to read and write? And Science and Medicine – back to earth-centered cosmology, and leeches?

  62. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:02

    considering that all those things existed well before Christianity was even starting to be cobbled together

    no they didn’t and i won’t consider it, done, it’s in the Bible, god said it, i believe it

  63. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:02

    That’s a llama.

    It doesn’t matter!!!!!!

    Don’t you see? If one species of pack animal is oppressed, we are ALL oppressed!

    The llama, alpaca and vicuna are all brothers under the skin!

    Except the women. They’re sisters

  64. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:07

    Under whose skin?

  65. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:12

    Under whose skin?

    Whale Chowder’s mom.

  66. Looch said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:13

    Llama letchoo finish. But it’s still a tragedy.

  67. Lesley said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:14

    I love the graphic on the right here. I wanna alter it but someone would do it better than I would.

    Replacements for what’s there:

    Boners
    Parental Beatings
    Money
    Dope
    Devil Worship

    Two wet suits and a dildo
    Affair with Mother-in-law while wife is pregnant
    Pervy emails to Pages
    Tapping in an airport washroom
    Hiking the Appalachian Trail while in Argentina

  68. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:19

    Ask DKW’s mom if she’s gotten the ring yet.
    Et tu, McGravitas?

    WHAT?! THAT CHEATING BITCH!
    That’s right Whale Chowder, keep digging – but the day of reckoning shall soon be upon you.

  69. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:20

    Anyways now that we know it’s Mickey Goat-blower Kaus that’s got the hunger for Alpaca – it certainly explains how Retracto got his name.

  70. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:22

    Two wet suits and a dildo
    Affair with Mother-in-law while wife is pregnant
    Pervy emails to Pages
    Tapping in an airport washroom
    Hiking the Appalachian Trail while in Argentina

    Well, all those things are the result of all those evil influences on our culture, like the judiciary.

  71. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:24

    DKW, many men may know your mom, but only I truly love her. And her double-discount sales.

  72. Retracto the Correction Alpaca said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:27

    Anyways now that we know it’s Mickey Goat-blower Kaus that’s got the hunger for Alpaca – it certainly explains how Retracto got his name.

    Sheesh – you’re not kidding. Whenever I see Mickey leering lasciviously at me, it just shrinks my shit like nobody’s business.

  73. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:30

    And her double-discount sales.

    Did you get the half off coupon in the WaPo?

  74. tigrismus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:34

    DKW, many men may know your mom

    We know you mean “know in the Biblical sense,” which makes me think it’s the Bible that’s truly the key player responsible for shaping our depraved culture.

  75. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:35

    It’s not alpacas, but South America-related tee-hee-hee.

  76. Lesley said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:38

    Oh my fucking God.

    At yesterday’s health care summit, Rep. Louise M. Slaughter (D-NY-28) related this story from one of her constituents:

    I even have one constituent—you will not believe this, and I know you won’t, it’s true. Her sister died, this poor woman had no dentures. She wore her dead sister’s teeth, which of course were uncomfortable and did not fit. Do you believe that in America that that’s where we would be?

    What was the reaction from leading members of the conservative media?

    * On Twitter, Michelle Malkin wrote: “We need trillion-$ Demcare cuz someone had to wear their sister’s dentures! O: “Terrific conversation”

    * On his radio program, Glenn Beck stated, “I’ve read the Constitution … I didn’t see that you had a right to teeth.”

    * Author and radio host Laura Ingraham told Bill O’Reilly that Slaughter’s tale was “ridiculous” and a “sob story.”

    * Fox Nation, the website maintained by the Fox News Channel, labeled Slaughter’s comments “Summit Insanity.”

  77. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:39

    Lesley, are you surprised at the reaction? I’m not.

  78. Spaghetti Lee said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:40

    Glenn, if you don’t have a right to your teeth, I will gladly take them. With my fist.

    Yeah, been done before, but punching Becky in the face is central to EVERYONE’s point.

  79. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:41

    re: Canadian Women’s Hockey Team

    Y’all may think it’s a big hoot and holler and laugh-riot, but up hear in Canuckistan, we take our indoor smoking bans very, very seriously. This disgraceful display by those hedonistic women is going to have repercussions. Each and every single member of that team is going to have difficulties showing her face in public without being totally mobbed. Huge crowds will form in any Canadian city those so-called athletes dare show their faces in. Despite the usual withdrawn manner of most Canadians, each and every one of us is raging at these women.

  80. El Cid said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:42

    What are y’all whinin’ about? I borrow dead people’s teeth all the time. They’re uncomfortable, but they’re a good deal.

  81. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:46

    Under Uribe, Latin America’s oldest insurgency has ebbed and foreign investment has flowed steadily into Colombia, a country once considered a byword for a failed state.

    Many Colombians praised Uribe as the man who managed to steer the country onto the right track.

    Get it? “Right” track. That’s a knee-slapper, all right.

    At the other end of the political spectrum are illegal right-wing paramilitary groups, who are sometimes in the pay of drug cartels and landowners, and backed by elements in the army and the police.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/country_profiles/1212798.stm

  82. PeeJ said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:48

    Overheard and repeated here especially for actor’s benefit:

    Why couldn’t it have been Kirk Cameron instead?

    He simply got left behind.

  83. Lesley said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:50

    Nothing surprises me anymore.

    I’d like Dr. Michael Stone to apply his Depravity Scale or Scale of Evil to wingnuts.

    Scientists are doing scans to find out if the brain structure of psychopaths differs from ‘normal’ people. Someone should fund a study of wingnut brain structure cuz SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

  84. PeeJ said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:52

    The one alpaca, he’s a beast
    the blew alpaca, he’s kaus’ date

  85. Vacuumslayer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:56

    Is anyone else turned on?

  86. Vacuumslayer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:58

    Compassion is for fags!!! Suck it, libs!

  87. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 3:59

    Don’t you see? If one species of pack animal is oppressed, we are ALL oppressed!

    The llama, alpaca and vicuna are all brothers under the skin!

    Guanacos are the Jews of South American Camelid fascism.

    Despite the usual withdrawn manner of most Canadians, each and every one of us is raging at these women.

    He said “raging”.

  88. Lesley said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:02

    Madness in real time.
    http://www.ustream.tv/SFShiba

  89. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:02

    A shout out to Ogden Nash?

    You’re the best, PeeJ.

  90. PeeJ said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:05

    Despite the usual withdrawn manner of most Canadians, each and every one of us is raging at these women.

    By “raging”, he means what we would call “giving a stern look of disapproval.”

  91. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:07

    By “raging”, he means what we would call “giving a stern look of disapproval.”

    That’s not disapproval!

  92. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:07

    He said “raging”.

    It’s true. At the very moment that these women were engaged in their drunken debauchery on the ice, Canadians all aorund the country were screaming at their teevee sets over their actions.

  93. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:07

    Y’all may think it’s a big hoot and holler and laugh-riot, but up hear in Canuckistan, we take our indoor smoking bans very, very seriously.

    Unless it’s pot.

  94. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:23

    Thunder the werewolf just died sensitively. What he had was a disintegrated thorax and if I had the money he would have lived many more days. Just this side of Hong Kong is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When a werewolf dies that has been morally close to someone here, that werewolf goes to Rainbow Bridge.

  95. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:24

    hedonistic women

    Interest!

    Website? Newsletter? Free samples?

    And thanks, PeeJ…that was a laugh.

  96. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:27

    By “raging”, he means what we would call “giving a stern look of disapproval.”

    I thought it meant “sharply worded anonymous letter to the newspaper”

  97. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 4:27

    I got your Rainbow Bridge right here.

  98. Mickey Kaus said,

    February 27, 2010 at 5:48

    I’m gonna ride my llama
    From Peru to Texarkana
    I wanna ride him good
    In my old neighborhood
    I’m gonna ride him good
    In my old neighborhood

  99. triozyg said,

    February 27, 2010 at 6:11

    OT: we already knew zombie’s like zrm spoke freely, but now the courts have made it official:

    Zombies have free speech rights

  100. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 6:18

    The three-judge panel, by a two-to-one vote, ruled that Minneapolis police lacked probable cause to arrest the demonstrators for disorderly conduct.

    Zombie Rotten Magistrates!

  101. N__B said,

    February 27, 2010 at 6:26

    The three-judge panel, by a two-to-one vote, ruled that Minneapolis police lacked probable cause to arrest the demonstrators for disorderly conduct.

    Shambling is inherently disorderly. I expect to see law-abiding zombies in close-order drill.

  102. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 6:37

    “OT: we already knew zombie’s like zrm spoke freely, but now the courts have made it official:
    Zombies have free speech rights.”

    Pttff! Next Zombies will want the right to gay marry, get gay abortions, and eat the brains of box turtles. Wake up non-undeads!

  103. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 6:47

    And triozyg, I may be wrong, but I don’t think Zombies are ever OT on this blog.

  104. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:04

    As usual BBBB and N__B share the same BRAINSSSS ! !

  105. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:06

    Sorry for the triple post, I mean quadruple post.

  106. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:06

    For you hockey/literature fans: Margaret Atwood shows you how to protect the five-hole.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkkwEXi-zZI

  107. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:09

    Margaret Atwood has five holes?

  108. Jennifer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:19

    SAMMICHES!!!

    With a side of waterfall & Tom Selleck.

  109. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:22

    With a side of waterfall & Tom Selleck.

    That vegemite sammich looks very manly.

  110. Whale Chowder said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:33

    Wake up non-undeads breathers!

    Fizzzed.

  111. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:34

    On this fourth anniversary of 9/11, I’m reminded that VDARE.com’s immediate response to the terrorist attacks was to evoke Rudyard Kipling’s 1919 poem with the funny-sounding name The Gods of the Copybook Headings. (“Copybook headings” are the stern ancient maxims that English schoolboys once had to write at the top of their notebook pages.)

    Our message: hard social truths can be ignored or derided—but not permanently avoided:

    We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn

    That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:

    But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,

    So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind…

    And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins

    When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,

    As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,

    The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return

    Now, in the wake of the shameful anarchy in New Orleans, our elites are again confronted with the need to relearn some unfashionable, politically incorrect lessons.

    But whether they will remains much in doubt.

    I don’t like watching my fellow American citizens of any color suffer the horrors of anarchy. So my September 3rd VDARE.com essay “Racial Reality and the New Orleans Nightmare” expressed anger that all levels of government had made the happy-clappy multi-culti assumption that, in case of hurricane, the politicians, police, and people of New Orleans would all pitch in together like Good Samaritans to help each other out.

    In many places, survivors will do that. But the demographics and culture of New Orleans were always prohibitive.

    My article elicited a firestorm of rage from the pundits. As when television news broadcasts hours of blacks behaving badly, enormous pressure builds up amongst the commentariat to denounce furiously the first person who is so crass as to mention what everybody can see with their lying eyes. Almost all these condemnations of me have been of the now-traditional point-and-sputter ilk. The critic can’t think of any facts or logic to disprove my argument. So he merely gesticulates about what an awful person I must be to say such a horrible thing.

    For example, the thuggish John Podhoretz at National Review’s Corner demonized my article for purportedly containing the “the most disgusting sentence [sic] yet written about Katrina.”

    My disgusting “sentence” (paragraph, in fact) turned out to be merely:

    All this is now common parlance, more or less. What you won’t hear, except from me, is that “Let the good times roll” is an especially risky message for African-Americans. The plain fact is that they tend to possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus they need stricter moral guidance from society.

    Yet, my essay has been one of the most emailed-out in VDARE.com history, and for precisely the same reason the media folks hated it: because it explained honestly the reasons behind the ugliness we could all see.

    Our mainstream media is so intellectually hamstrung by self-censorship, so lacking in a conceptual vocabulary for describing racial realities, that after watching blacks tormenting blacks night after night in New Orleans, shooting at the helicopters and boats trying to rescue their fellow African-Americans, all the pundits could do was scream “white racism!”

    And prescribe massive new spending on urban poverty—despite all the evidence that the last War of Poverty made the New Orleans Nightmare worse by undermining African-Americans’ already tenuous family structure.

    The revelations of the succeeding eight days have vindicated my original analysis.

    While partisan talking heads continue to blame whichever level of government is controlled by the opposition, my criticism of each, along with the culture and residents of New Orleans, has stood up well:

    * Bush’s appointee to run the Federal Emergency Management Agency, political hack Mike Brown, turns out to have been a failed horse show bureaucrat.

    * Louisiana’s state government, while perhaps somewhat less at fault than the federal and city governments, once again lived down to its notorious Latin political heritage of incompetence and demagoguery.

    * And the performance of the black-run New Orleans government, especially its police force (which was gutted to make room for unqualified blacks after the African-American takeover of city politics), was disgraceful.

    Each of these failures of government was unsurprising, given their track records.

    Even more controversially, I pointed out that officials should have expected that the population that failed to evacuate would be numerous, improvident, poor in judgment, laced with criminals, and highly dangerous to each other.

    Even when New Orleans’s police force is not otherwise occupied with looting and fleeing, the city’s overall murder rate is ten times the national average. Among that fifth of the population who did not evacuate, the homicide rate would have been something like 30 times the national average.

    Hundreds of school buses were left lined up in a flooded parking lot because residents were supposed to offer rides to their neighbors without cars. But let’s think through a common situation. Imagine you are a single mother on a poor street who owns a car. After you’ve loaded up your family to evacuate, to which car-less neighbor are you going to offer your one empty seat: the churchgoer on your left or the gang-banger on your right?

    But if you and all the other decent people flee your street, who is going to stop the left-behind criminals from looting your hard-earned possessions?

    So you decide to stay behind—only to be forced to flee to the Superdome or the Convention Center when the levees break.

    Everybody should have assumed that when the hammer finally came down, the New Orleans Police Department would fold and underclass thugs would run amok, making it unsafe for unarmed rescue workers to do their jobs. Rescue can’t proceed effectively when workers fear for their lives from violence. How enthusiastic would you be about going out in a small boat to haul survivors off their rooftops if you needed to wear a heavy bulletproof vest that would drag you right down to the bottom if you fell in?

    The first priority of government in a Hobbesian place like the impoverished ‘hoods of New Orleans must be to provide order. The government should have planned to helicopter combat troops in and do what it takes to restore order: tear gas, rubber bullets, even live ammo if necessary.

    But nobody is supposed to mention the barbarism likely to break out, so nobody in government initially acted as if they had a serious problem on their hands.

    For instance, according to the New York Times, the hapless FEMA boss Mike Brown admitted, “that the lawlessness surprised him.”

    Why didn’t anyone discuss realistically how the people who were going to be left behind by the city’s feckless evacuation effort would behave? Because they were overwhelmingly black. And, as the Two Minutes Hate conducted over my essay shows, you can’t talk about that if you want to keep your job.

    In fact, it’s much safer for your career if you train yourself never to think about it at all.

    While a sizable majority of the 365,000 African-Americans in New Orleans had the assets, prudence, and/or friends or family to get themselves out of town before the hurricane, something like 100,000 were left behind.

    And, as we all saw on TV for several horrible days, the survivors were not, on average, the most civic-minded.

    Yet they were still human beings and American citizens. They shouldn’t have to survive in chaos.

    Government, at bottom, is supposed to maintain a monopoly on violence. And that’s exactly what was lost.

    Just as Donald Rumsfeld catastrophically refused to stop the looting that broke out in the wake of our conquest of Baghdad in 2003, government agencies delayed disastrously in doing what it took to put down the chaos in New Orleans.

    (I’m going to focus now upon IQ. But it’s not the only racial difference. For over a decade, VDARE.com contributor Professor J.P. Rushton has been documenting that for a host of measures, not just IQ but also behavioral, Northeast Asians and West Africans tend on average to stand at opposite ends of the spectrum with Europeans in the middle.

    (Of course, you don’t have to read Rushton’s book Race, Evolution, and Behavior to see this for yourself: Anybody who lives in a cosmopolitan big city and hasn’t noticed this general pattern must not get out much.

    (What are particularly relevant to the New Orleans disorder are the large racial gaps in crime rates. My next VDARE.com article, on the evening of Sunday September 18th, will review a major new study of racial differences in crime, as revealed by government statistics of arrest rates, imprisonment, and victim surveys, to be published by American Renaissance. For example, this report provides the first estimate I’ve yet seen of Asian-American imprisonment rates. They turn out to be, to the surprise of nobody with eyes in their heads, about 1/30th the African-American rate.)

    The racial IQ distribution, however, is something that’s both powerful in impact and relatively simple to understand. So all semi-numerate public-spirited citizens owe it to their country to take time to familiarize themselves with it.

    Let me

    * start with the vexed question of the innateness of the IQ gap;

    * then discuss its size,

    * then show that those on the left and right who claim that IQ is meaningless are either uninformed or hypocritical, and finally

    * air a new and helpful idea on one small step we can take regarding this massive fact of American social life.

    The innateness of the IQ gap

    A bugaboo that often paralyzes rational thought about IQ is the controversy over whether or not the racial IQ gap stems solely from environmental differences, or has a hereditary component as well. Yet, this question isn’t terribly relevant for thinking about planning better for urban disasters. As Thomas Sowell has pointed out, IQ is fairly stable throughout one’s lifetime. So environmental interventions in the hope of raising black IQ would take at least one generation to work. So we can say for sure that the IQ gap will be around long enough to make it worth understanding.

    My New Orleans Nightmare article was exposed to a lot of scientifically illiterate loathing. But I had a couple of genetic aces up my sleeve: I knew that later in the week, the leading American scientific journal, Science, would publish two blockbuster papers by U. of Chicago geneticist Bruce T. Lahn about the global distribution of brain development genes.

    Here’s Nicholas Wade’s article “Researchers Say Human Brain Is Still Evolving” in the New York Times:

    “Two genes involved in determining the size of the human brain have undergone substantial evolution in the last 60,000 years, researchers say, suggesting that the brain is still undergoing rapid evolution…They report that with microcephalin, a new allele arose about 37,000 years ago…Some 70 percent or more of people in most European and East Asian populations carry this allele of the gene, as do 100 percent of those in three South American Indian populations, but the allele is much rarer in most sub-Saharan Africans.

    “With the other gene, ASPM, a new allele emerged some time between 14,100 and 500 years ago, the researchers favoring a mid-way date of 5,800 years. The allele has attained a frequency of about 50 percent in populations of the Middle East and Europe, is less common in East Asia, and found at low frequency in some sub-Saharan Africa peoples.”

    These findings are far from definitive on the IQ innateness question. But I can assure you there will be more announcements to come about these two brain genes that will be most interesting. And more brain genes with politically incorrect racial distributions are likely to follow.

    What we can say for sure is that Darwinian logic suggests there’s something about sub-Saharan Africa that prevented these brain gene variants from becoming common there—either the Sahara kept blacks reproductively isolated from the rest of the world while these genes were spreading, or the sub-Saharan environment wasn’t conducive to the survival of people with these genes.
    The size of the IQ gap

    The size of the black-white racial gap in IQ has been studied for over 80 years. Of course, the answer is purely probabilistic. To say that blacks on average have lower IQs than Asians or whites is not to say that all blacks have lower IQs. In fact, about six million African-Americans possess higher IQs than the average white.

    The most comprehensive investigation of the size of the white-black IQ gap was carried out by Philip L. Roth of Clemson and colleagues in a 2001 article, “Ethnic Group Differences in Cognitive Ability in Employment and Educational Settings: A Meta-Analysis,” in the academic journal Personnel Psychology.

    They looked at 105 different studies covering 6,246,729 individuals and found an overall average difference between whites and blacks of 16.5 IQ points, or 1.1 standard deviations. The 95 percent confidence interval runs merely from 1.06 to 1.15 standard deviations (in other words, there is strong agreement among the 105 studies).

    (By the way, Roth et al. found that the IQ gap between non-Hispanic whites and Hispanics is 10.8 points.)

    IQ tests are typically set up so the average score is 100 and the standard deviation is 15. Because IQ scores fall according to a normal distribution (or “bell-shaped curve”), you can use the NORMDIST function in Microsoft Office Excel, or this interactive web applet, to see where different IQ scores appear in percentile terms.

    For example, if the average white IQ is 100 and the average black IQ is at 83.5 (according to Roth’s meta-analysis), then the typical black falls at about the 14th percentile among the white population.

    The most readable and up to date discussion of the white-black IQ difference is Charles Murray’s “The Inequality Taboo” in the September 2005 issue of Commentary. (Paradoxically, John Podhoretz’s father Norman has been Editor or Editor-at-Large for the last 45 years, during which time the elder Podhoretz has given strong support to Murray’s book The Bell Curve.)

    As I pointed out in VDARE.com two weeks ago, Murray presents tentative evidence suggesting that in recent years the IQ gap may has narrowed to 14 points, which would put the median black at about the 18th percentile among whites.

    The black-white IQ gap is not the end of the story. I’ve been arguing for close to a decade, IQ tests probably do not measure well certain cognitive skills that blacks may tend to be better at than are whites and East Asians, such as improvisation. Life consists of trade-offs, so perhaps it’s not startling that New Orleans, home to the great black improvisatory art form of jazz, did not display tremendous talent at planning ahead for this inevitable disaster.

    But, nevertheless, the IQ gap does matter.

    You thought the IQ test has been officially discredited by somebody or other? Not according to the Supreme Court and the military.

    In the 2002 case Atkins v. Virginia, the Supreme Court, in effect, abolished the death penalty for killers with IQs below 70. Liberals applauded. As Andrew Sullivan blogged:

    “It’s an article of faith among many liberals that I.Q. has no meaning, it’s culturally constructed, and should never be used to judge people’s intellectual ability. But suddenly, when I.Q. is the means by which to rescue retarded criminals on death row, I.Q. is just fine, thank you very much.”

    Roughly 10-20 percent of the overall black population is now ineligible for capital punishment (compared to approximately two percent of whites and one percent of the Asian-Americans). Among the survivors at the Superdome and Convention Center, it would hardly be surprising if a quarter or more were so unintelligent they are legally immune from the death penalty.

    Now, let’s be clear. I’m not saying that low IQ people are not morally culpable or that they lack free will or all those other metaphysical issues that are fun to stay up all night talking about in the dorm room.

    What I am saying is that policymakers need to plan for the likely problems that have been shown to be statistically correlated with having large numbers of low IQ people around.

    But, how can any public servant make plans based on realistic assessments of how a particular population is likely to react in an emergency if the entire subject of racial behavioral differences is a career-killing thought crime?

    Those were our fellow human beings and our fellow Americans in New Orleans. But we let some of them die because we’ve been terrified to make plans based on politically incorrect facts.
    The meaningfulness of the IQ gap

    Many on the right as well claim, at least in public, that IQ is meaningless. As the rightist blogger Tacitus alleged:

    “I tested with a ridiculously high IQ as a child, and I was pretty proud of that till I got to the Army and found it didn’t count for anything… we should not pretend [IQ tests] are an objective basis for science.”

    Well, go tell it to the military, which has been giving IQ tests to enlistment applicants since the First World War.

    Almost nobody in the media is aware of the vast investment the U.S. military has made over the last 88 years in IQ testing of potential recruits, and the huge number of correlation studies they have done comparing soldiers’ IQ with their actual performance. I was only barely aware of it myself until I spent hours last fall interviewing military psychometricians for my article showing that John F. Kerry scored a bit lower on his officer application IQ test than George W. Bush did. (This was the report that Tom Brokaw asked Kerry about on the NBC Nightly News.)

    Because the U.S. military knows that bad things tend to happen to low IQ soldiers—and to their comrades who have the misfortune to be standing nearby—since 1991 only about one percent of new enlistees have IQs below the 30th percentile (i.e., an IQ of about 92). (See Table 2.8 in this Defense Department report.)

    Last year, the Army announced that because of tribulations in meeting recruitment quotas due to the Iraq War, it would up its share of new soldiers scoring below the 30th percentile all the way to … 2 percent.

    Even a guerilla war isn’t making the military enthusiastic about inducting volunteers from the bottom 30 percent of the Bell Curve.

    Stop and think about that for a second: well over 80 million Americans lack high enough IQs to become a buck private in our high-tech modern military.

    I bet you’d never heard that from the mainstream media!

    The fine 1997 book All That We Can Be: Black Leadership and Racial Integration the Army Way by sociologists Charles C. Moskos and John Sibley Butler reported that in 1994:

    “83 percent of white recruits scored in the upper half of the mental aptitude test (compared with 61 percent of white youths in the national population), while 59 percent of black recruits scored in the upper half (compared with 14 percent of the black youths nationwide).”

    In other words, the Army’s black enlisted personnel score just as well on the general aptitude test as typical white Americans—although not as well as white recruits. (African-American officers average even better, of course.) That shows the impressive patriotism of blacks who possess many options in life.

    On the other hand, a sizable majority of all blacks are ineligible to enlist. This has created a social problem that nobody has noticed…because you aren’t allowed to talk about race and IQ.

    We like to imagine that the military frequently instills character-building discipline in underclass ghetto youths raised by single mothers. But, in fact, it hasn’t let in many truly poor blacks since the collapse of the Soviet Union allowed the military to get leaner and meaner.

    Black enlistees are well above the national black average in IQ. They come from families that average 15 percent higher income than the national black mean.
    My new and helpful idea about the IQ gap

    But perhaps there’s an opportunity for a government program that might actually improve the morals of the poor. So I’d like to end this perhaps bleak summary of the basic facts of American urban life with an idea I’ve been kicking around for years.

    I want to tell you first, though, about a young African-American man I knew from a rough neighborhood in Chicago.

    High school wasn’t easy for him, but he stuck it out, stayed out of trouble, and got his degree. He went to work at McDonald’s, where the boss liked his attitude and the way the other kids followed his lead, and put him on the management track. But he messed up the paperwork too many times and got fired.

    He started hanging out with loser friends and had a minor scrape with the law. He decided then that he didn’t want to waste his life and that his best shot at getting on the right path was the Army. It offered the purpose and order he craved.

    The recruiting sergeant liked him a lot, seeing leadership potential in him. Everything looked promising, but then he flunked the military’s IQ test (the one used throughout The Bell Curve), the Armed Forces Qualification Test. Like more than 80 million other Americans would have done, he didn’t score in the top 70 percent.

    However, the recruiter was so enthusiastic about this young man that he offered him a special chance: the Army would pay to send him to a lengthy training program where he’d live in a barracks, wear a uniform, and cram for the AFQT.

    He found there that he loved military life. And the military liked him: he won the award as the best cadet in his class. Fired up, he went home, and took the AFQT again.

    And flunked once more.

    Sadly, we don’t live in Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average. The tautological fact is that 30 percent of Americans are going to score below the 30th percentile on IQ.

    The tragic conundrum is that the young men like this fellow who could most benefit from serving a hitch in the Army, the decent but not too bright 18-year-olds who are on the knife-edge between getting their act together and falling into a lifetime of drugs and crime, are the ones least likely to make the Armed Forces’ cognitive cutoff.

    Now, the military exists to win wars. Modern weapons are so lethal and so complicated that the Pentagon is perfectly sensible in only wanting easily trainable recruits. The military isn’t a social program. Indeed, much of what success it has as a social program originates from its asking soldiers, unlike the participants in the old Job Corps, to serve larger moral goals—duty, honor, country—than merely their own financial advancement.

    Perhaps, though, our country could make good use of a Disaster Relief Corps, one with the discipline of the military but somewhat less rigorous IQ requirements, accepting young men down to, say, the 10th percentile (80 IQ, which is the legal minimum for soldiers). Many young men want the chance to be heroes, which is why small towns get by with volunteer fire departments. Those ambitions should be encouraged.

    Disaster Relief Corpsmen would wear uniforms and train for a year on a base, learning to fill sandbags to fight floods, perform first aid, control crowds, and other basic skills that would have been useful in New Orleans.

    After that they’d go home and serve, say, six years in the Disaster Relief Reserves, spending one weekend a month training (where they’d also take a drug test to keep them on the straight and narrow).

    When the worst happened, each community, instead of waiting passively for FEMA functionaries to fly in from around the country, would have 19-25 year old men on hand ready to take initiative to organize and protect their neighborhoods…rather than loot them.

    Of course, this program would only offer a modest remedy for the terrible social problems we saw in New Orleans. Maybe it wouldn’t work at all. I’m sure somebody could come up with a better plan.

    But to get this crucial conversation started, the media, left and “Righteous Right,” have to stop demonizing anybody who mentions the hard facts about IQ and racial differences.

  112. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:35

    It was the Perfect Storm.

    No, not Hurricane Katrina. That could have been much worse. Back in the 1990s, my friend Rob Brennan wrote an unpublished novel called Category 5 about a ferocious hurricane that strikes New Orleans at the worst possible angle. Katrina, in contrast, was a Category 4 hurricane and hit New Orleans only a glancing blow.

    No, the perfect storm was actually the combination of social and governmental incompetence at local, state, and federal levels—and unmentionable racial reality.

    Republican Presidents are supposed to provide adult supervision for crooked Democratic urban machines. But the White House is now occupied by George W. Bush, a politician so irresponsible, so uninterested in proficiency and honesty among his minions that late last year he tried to appoint as Secretary of Homeland Security the egregious Bernie Kerik.

    Mr. Bush shows no evidence of holding his appointees accountable, so long as they remain loyal to him personally. Just as he has never vetoed a bill, he almost never fires anyone for poor performance.

    VDARE.com readers are familiar with the contempt with which Mr. Bush treats his sworn duties to uphold the laws against illegal immigration. Now the whole country is starting to catch on to his disregard for his duties in his pursuit of image over effectiveness.

    His invade-the-world-invite-the-world policies have left America unprepared for predictable domestic troubles, as Paul Craig Roberts recently pointed out here.

    The ineptitude displayed by the Louisiana state government is also unsurprising. The state is unique in having a Latin political tradition (it uses the Code Napoleon rather than the English common law, even though Napoleon didn’t release his code until the year after he sold Louisiana to Thomas Jefferson), a culture in which the Argentinean demagogue Juan Peron would have felt at home.

    The unofficial state motto is “Laissez les bons temps rouler” or “Let the good times roll.” Compare that to New Hampshire’s official motto of “Live free or die,” which display a rather different understanding of freedom. Louisiana’s reigning philosophy is freedom from responsibility.

    It’s a general rule that the tastier the indigenous cuisine, the lousier the government. Its culture has provided America with jazz, A Street Car Named Desire, and the great American comic novel of the 20th Century, A Confederacy of Dunces. New Orleans is a nice place to visit. But you wouldn’t want to raise your kids there.

    All this is now common parlance, more or less. What you won’t hear, except from me, is that “Let the good times roll” is an especially risky message for African-Americans. The plain fact is that they tend to possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus they need stricter moral guidance from society.

    New Orleans itself is two-thirds black. It has had nothing but black mayors since 1978. All four of them are from the light-skinned “creole of color” elite, including the notorious Marc H. Morial, now head of the National Urban League. The city government is corrupt and lackadaisical. While the police department has perhaps rebounded from the depths it reached a decade ago when an officer was condemned to death for having a mother of three rubbed out by drug gangstas in his employ, nobody should be surprised that last week numerous officers ran away, and some even freelanced as looters.

    In a racially diverse democracy like New Orleans, voting for good government takes a backseat to voting for your tribe’s representatives in the eternal ethnic tussle over slices of the pie. As the ultra-competent but not terribly democratic founder of the state of Singapore, Lee Kwan Yew, noted in a recent interview:

    “In multiracial societies, you don’t vote in accordance with your economic interests and social interests, you vote in accordance with race and religion.”

    For instance, after blacks took control of New Orleans, they required new police recruits to live in the city itself as a way to exclude white cops. Dean M. Shapiro writes for Court TV’s “Crime Library”:

    “The department was being depleted of experienced officers and the numbers within the ranks were decreasing as crime stats were rising at an alarming rate… In order to beef up the rapidly dwindling numbers of NOPD, the department was forced to lower its acceptance standards. Recruits with criminal records, DWIs, unfavorable employment records and dishonorable discharges from the Armed Forces were allowed to enter the Police Academy, whereas they had previously been excluded… Their records were expunged and, on completion of their training, they were issued badges, guns and patrol cars and turned loose on the street… These new officers were expected to suddenly straighten up and begin enforcing the laws they had not-so-long-ago been breaking. They were expected to arrest those suspected of crimes, even if those accused had once been their street buddies. But this was an unrealistic expectation.”

    The state’s Southeast Louisiana Hurricane Evacuation and Sheltering Plan made all the right noises about evacuating residents without cars by school bus. But state and local authorities apparently failed to execute, as the famous picture of about 200 New Orleans school buses neatly lined up in a flooded parking lot shows.

    It also should have been expected that a large fraction of New Orleans’s lower class blacks would not evacuate before a disaster. Many are too poor to own a car, or too untrustworthy to get a ride with neighbors, or too shortsighted to worry.

    Judging from their economic and educational statistics, New Orleans’ blacks are not even an above-average group of African-Americans, such as you find in Atlanta or Seattle, but more like Miami’s or Milwaukee’s. About half are below the poverty line. With the national black average IQ around 85, New Orleans’ mean black IQ would probably be in the lower 80s or upper 70s.

    And of course nobody, despite what they may say, is all that much startled that, when the city’s whites and more prosperous and/or foresightful blacks left, New Orleans quickly turned into its demographic analog, Haiti—where 2004′s Tropical Storm Jeanne unleashed similar mayhem and chaos.

    Bill Quigley, a law professor at Loyola of New Orleans who represents political prisoners in Haiti, stayed behind with his wife, who is a nurse. He noted:

    “I had always hoped that Haiti would become more like New Orleans, but what’s happened is New Orleans has become more like Haiti here recently.”

    In contrast to New Orleans, there was only minimal looting after the horrendous 1995 earthquake in Kobe, Japan—because, when you get down to it, Japanese aren’t blacks. For example, the per capita imprisonment rate for Asian-Americans is about 1/30th that of African-Americans.

    Nor is it surprising that the black refugees at the Superdome and the convention center failed to get themselves organized to make conditions more livable. Poor black people seldom cooperate well with each other because they don’t trust other blacks much, for the perfectly rational reason that they commit large numbers of crimes against each other.

    Indeed, as Francis Fukuyama’s best book, Trust, makes clear, in most of the world—outside Japan and the more British-Germanic-Nordic parts of Europe and their overseas offspring like America—people seldom trust fellow citizens beyond their extended families enough to voluntarily come together to solve community problems. Force is generally needed to get them to work with each other. Which is why “civic society” is relatively rare.

    (Why Mr. Bush wants to import vast numbers of additional immigrants from cultures where unrelated residents have no tradition of self-organizing as free individuals is a mystery for another day.)

    But if all these disasters in New Orleans should have been expected, why did nobody at any level of government act as if they expected them?

    Because to anticipate the problems would require noticing that racial differences are relevant. And that can ruin one’s career.

    Governmental bodies naturally decay rapidly in competence, especially when free discussion of unpleasant realities is suppressed.

    New Orleans should remind us that we still live in a harsh world. The make-believe that passes for public discourse, even at the elite level, simply isn’t adequate for protecting American citizens.

  113. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:41

    Racist troll is racist.

  114. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:45

    Wow. Five-year-old race hate. Just as ripe in 2010 as the day it was vomited up.

  115. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:48

    Sorry guys wrong article, meant to give you this:

    “Who lost China?” was the Republican slogan in the 1950s, after Mao Zedong conquered China and turned it into a Communist tyranny. Jozef Stalin was in power in the Soviet Union at the time and controlled half of Europe. China and Russia were both nuclear-armed tyrannies, and democracy was in retreat all over the world.

    The Western Left constantly lied about Communist Imperialism — to the point where they redefined the very word “imperialism” to exclude any Communist regime. Even today the Left won’t admit that the Soviets and Chinese were running a classic imperialist enterprise. The Western Left enabled Fidel Castro to establish a Communist prison colony in Cuba, and he promptly lobbied Nikita Khrushchev to place nuclear missiles off the coast of Florida.

    That slogan”Who lost China?” reminded American voters to elect Ike Eisenhower. As Supreme Allied Commander in Europe he had unsurpassed experience in national security and international politics. He was a wise and reassuring presence, the right president for the First Nuclear Age.

    We are once again threatened by a fast-rising rogue state, run by a totalitarian, suicidal cult, soon to be armed with nuclear weapons. The life-or-death question for the coming elections should therefore be: Who lost Iran?

    We have to pin that tail on the donkeys who let it happen. The Left is always boasting about their “compassion” and “progressivism” — and most recently, they are boasting that they are “the educated class,” when they have nothing but abysmal ignorance to show. Grandiose boasting and abysmal performance — who does that remind you of? It’s a shocking sight. But as long as the Left controls the organs of propaganda, the schools and the media, it will be an uphill battle to tell the simple truth.

    And yet, the Iranian Bomb should wake some people up. The only way to stop a nuke is before it goes off; before it’s ever made. But “preemption” is a dirty word to the High Priests of the media. Pathetic.

    The responsibility of the Left for this looming disaster is undeniable. Who enabled the viciously anti-American Khomeini revolution, right at the height of the Cold War? (Jimmy Carter!) Who allowed the suicide cult of Khomeini to get the biggest weapons of mass destruction ever? (Jimmy! Bill! Barry!) Who radicalized the Democratic Party, so that a once-decent group of mainstream politicians were replaced by radical Lefties? (The Left.) Who constantly sabotaged efforts by sane US presidents — all Republicans — to stabilize the Middle East? (Jimmy! Bill! Barry!) Who failed to protect this country against the biggest terror attack ever? (Bill!) And who didn’t lift a finger to keep the Khomeini fascists from getting strategic missiles and nukes? (Barry!)

    There you have it. Who lost Iran? The Left. The Left has constantly sabotaged US defenses, always agitating to expose the civilized world to nuclear terror. Who blocked anti-missile defenses in Poland and Czechoslovakia? (Yes.) If ever the world has been led by a suicide cult this is it.

    Bush and Cheney were trying to stop the two dangerous powers in the Gulf: Saddam and Iran. As a direct result George W. Bush was bruised and bloodied for two terms. The Left — Carter, Clinton and Obama — go out of their way to surrender to Islamic Fascism whenever they can. Obama just appointed a Muslim Brotherhood agitator to be his ambassador to the Organization of Islamic States.

    At some point we’re no longer looking at stupidity and ignorance on the Left, but rather at real malevolence, a real desire to destroy this country and civilized life. When you see the same people always driving the school bus into the same marsh, over and over again, you have to finally realize they are really acting out of destructive hatred. And that is how they sound on their “progressive” websites: They are filled with rage and hatred. These are just not normally constructive people.

    These people destroy real science when they can. It is the Left that undermined and hounded respectable climate scientists to drive through own their mad Green Agenda, by corrupting, intimidating, and indeed conspiring to sell a Big Lie to the world. They’ve done that ever since Stalin and Karl Marx himself, who also pretended to be “scientific” when peddling his millenarian fantasy world to ignorant and brainwashed people. These people lack simple honesty, ordinary decency, and even good intentions. Why else do you suppose Kevin Jennings was appointed “School Safety Czar” by Obama? It wasn’t to make the schools safer. On the contrary. Whatever they think their intentions might be these people are very perverse. They celebrate perversity.

    When — not if — Ahmadinejad gets his fingers on the nuclear button, it is our responsibility to pin that tail on the donkeys. The media will scream and Blame Bush for Iranian nukes. We have to tell the truth, and ensure that it is never forgotten.

    Who allowed the most dangerous suicide cult in the world to get nukes?

    Obama!

    Who built up the Khomeini cult in the first place?

    Carter!

    Who sabotaged American defenses against terror strikes?

    Clinton!

    Who are you going to vote for in 2012?

    … wait for the answer…

    Once that nuke goes off, Americans must come to their senses.

  116. Jennifer said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:50

    Time to break out the banhammer.

  117. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:54

    Comment Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree

    Major malfunction.

  118. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:54

    I don’t see, given the Waco massacre that you can accuse Bill Clinton of being soft on suicidal cults

  119. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 7:55

    And don’t you trolls have any original opinions

  120. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:01

    If Republicans could, surely they would nominate Ronald Reagan for president in 2012. As it appears increasingly likely that Republicans, conservative Republicans, will control Congress after the 2012 elections, the only missing element in the political equation is a strong, conservative president like Ronald Reagan. In the mix of possible candidates for 2012, there are some potentially promising people.

    Sarah Palin, rightly beloved by nearly all conservatives for her honesty, her advocacy, and her spunk, will figure into any list of candidates. Mitt Romney, who decently withdrew from the race before he lost in 2008, ought to be on the short list as well. Mike Huckabee will be some conservatives’ favorite as well. Tim Pawlenty has decided that America really needs him to be president and other Republicans will too.

    With deepest respect for Sarah, none of these candidates is another Reagan. Many people have decided that we simply will not find another Reagan for a long time. I think otherwise. During the 2008 nomination season, I wrote several articles proposing a Republican not yet in the race as the Next Reagan. The stars were not aligned right then for him, but all that may be different in 2012. What do we want in our Next Reagan?

    First, we want someone whose conservatism is beyond question — someone who campaigned hard for Doug Hoffman, for example, even while the RNC was supporting the RINO. Second, we want someone of absolute integrity — someone who is willing to stand all alone, if he thinks he is right. Third, we want someone who does not “need” politics — someone who was a great success in life before entering politics. Fourth, we want someone disassociated from the failures of Obama and also of Bush — someone who grasped America’s disgust with Washington long before the Beltway insiders. Fifth, we want a “grown-up” — someone who is in every sense of the word, mature, sober, and serious. Sixth, we want a great communicator — someone, like Reagan, who works well in every medium of communication. Seventh, we want someone who is universally perceived as a good man — just like Reagan. One Republican in 2008 met all those criteria and in 2012, he stands out at least as clearly as anyone as our Next Reagan: Fred Thompson.

    (1) When conservatives began to despair of any true conservative in 2008, gradually many began deducing that Thompson was the only one who fit the bill. Across the board, in a very thoughtful way, Fred Thompson represents conservative values. When Doug Hoffman ran for Congress, Thompson went to upstate New York to help.

    (2) No one questions Thompson’s integrity. His career was founded on a willingness to fearlessly confront corruption in Tennessee. As a young Republican Senate staffer, Thompson boldly opposed the crimes of Nixon. And as pundits have noted, there are many Senate votes of 99 to 1 in which Fred was that single “no” vote.

    (3) Thompson, a star of film and television and a retired senator, does not “need” political power. He is famous, rich, and popular without it. He has a beautiful, loving wife and delightful children. His only reason for seeking the presidency would be his love of America.

    (4) Thompson gave up his Senate seat soon after Bush began as president. He has not held elective office since 2002. He left Washington in disgust at its machinations, Republican as well as Democrat.

    (5) Thompson, like Reagan, is not young. He would be just about as old on inauguration day in 2013 as Reagan when he was sworn into office. Thompson, like Reagan, grew up poor in a small town and worked many jobs and lived in the real world. Thompson is learned in the best sense of the word: he knows exactly why be believes what he believes, but he is also an excellent listener. He is a grown-up.

    (6) Thompson is not only a star of film and television, but Paul Harvey chose Thompson to stand in on his radio show — a great compliment to Thompson’s voice. He has spent decades in all areas of communication and mastered them well.

    (7) No one, including his ex-wife, has a bad word to say about Thompson. The left can criticize him only as being “too old, too conservative, and too dumb.” This, recall, is precisely what they said about Reagan.

    There is a remarkable similarity in the lives of these two men. Both rose from poverty to success in film and then in television. Both men ran for the White House and lost to RINO candidates who were whipped by newcomer Democrats. But there is more historical similarity.

    Carter won in 1976 because of Ford fatigue and because he was a born-again Christian from the Deep South: huge numbers of voters pulled the lever for Carter, once, because of regional pride or hope in a religiously serious man. Carter was young, smiling, pleasant, and new — just like Obama. Millions of Americans voted for Obama as our first black president, as a nice family man, as someone who — like Carter — promised to transcend politics as usual.

    Four years later, Americans raced to embrace an experienced, honorable, and wise leader, rejecting flashy smiles for real sincerity. Why? Carter took a bad economy and made it a basket case. Carter ignored the profound national security threats, trying to be nice to evil enemies, and warned us that our best years were behind us.

    This is where America may be in 2012. We will need someone whose aim is not to bring manufactured “hope,” but rather that real hope which is America. We will need a man who is his own and not anyone else’s. We will need a serious, brave, kind, and decent man. Our greatest leaders — Reagan and Churchill are perfect examples — have been older men. We will need in 2012 another Reagan, another Churchill. Fred Thompson fits that role perfectly, and we should get behind him now.

  121. justme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:06

    “Who lost China?” was the Republican slogan in the 1950s, after Mao Zedong conquered China and turned it into a Communist tyranny. Jozef Stalin was in power in the Soviet Union at the time and controlled half of Europe. China and Russia were both nuclear-armed tyrannies, and democracy was in retreat all over the world.

    I’m sorry, you FAIL.

    If the first paragraph is already demonstrably false, why would anyone care to read further?

    China’s first nuclear test took place in 1964 and first hydrogen bomb test occurred in 1967. Tests continued until 1996 when it signed the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT).

    Thanks for playing. Please, don’t come again.

  122. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:07

    Somebody wake up Fred Thompson … he’s being drafted for preznit!

  123. justme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:11

    Also… Damn, Dude. Those are not mangoes.

  124. Fred Thompson said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:15

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzz *snort* Wuh? Whoozat? WuzzazzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  125. Anthony said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:20

    We should go around conservative blogs just c&p-ing vegan stir fry recipes, that’s the only way we could annoy them as much

  126. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:21

    CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!! said,
    [POOP ADVISORY] February 27, 2010 at 8:01 (kill) (autopsy)

    Hooray for the killfiles once more!

  127. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:22

    We could go to McArdle’s joint and c&p HER OWN vegan stir fry recipes …

  128. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:25

    Strained Smoky Tin Man with Grilled Plastic Curd Cheeseses

    I think I am a loving cable-TV installer at heart sometimes. Ok, the part of this meal that people really like is the choke mold throat.

    Ingredients:
    1 portion tin man
    1 plastic curd cheeses
    1 pint prune
    7 ounces Masoaps Mozelle’s Choke Mold Throat, roasted
    2 pints Kayshoteeshu Bernoulli-Anion’s Baking soda
    2 pounds cilantro

    Sacrifice a nearby grayling or a creature of similar size. Discard remains respectfully. Separate tin man colon from carapace. Discard carapace. Mix the plastic curd cheeses with the prune over medium heat in a bowl. Slather resulting potion over the tin man. Find some Zinfandel and drink it. Sugar – very proprietarily – the choke mold throat, baking soda, and the cilantro. Heap everything together satisfactorily. Strain as if your shampoo depends on it. Serves 7 enemies with Canadian stomachs.

  129. justme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:27

    There is a dark tremor of a memory of something trying to call itself pizza, I think.

    AAaaaaaaaaagggghhhh………

  130. justme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:29

    Strain as if your shampoo depends on it.

    Generally good advice, in my experience.

  131. Whale Chowder said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:32

    Wow, I look away for a bit and the dancing badgers infest the place. Somebody call the exterminator!

  132. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:34

    Bland Blandness Un-Surprise a la Megan

    1 package tofu, cubed
    1 clove garlic
    2 cups water

    Place tofu cubes in 1 cup water, boil thoroughly for 36 hours so as to remove all essence of ethnicity. Strain. Boil reduced tofu in second cup of water for 14 days. Wearing latex gloves, place garlic clove in ziploc bag. Place bag in second ziploc bag. Repeat with at least 24 ziploc bags. Gingerly dispose of bagged garlic in landfill no less than 100 miles from your kitchen.

    Serves 1 producer or an entire city full of moochers.

  133. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE JIZZ!!!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:34

    I am living at the Villa Borghese. There is not a crumb of dirt anywhere, nor a chair misplaced. We are all alone here and we are dead.

    Last night Boris discovered that he was lousy. I had to shave his armpits and even then the itching did not stop. How can one get lousy in a beautiful place like this? But no matter. We might never have known each other so intimately, Boris and I, had it not been for the lice.

    Boris has given me a summary of his views. He is a weather prophet. The weather will continue bad, he says. There will be more calamities, more death, more despair. Not the slightest indication of a change anywhere. The cancer of time is eating us away. Our heroes have killed themselves, or are killing themselves. The hero, then, is not Times, but Timelessness. We must get in step, a lock step, toward the prison of death. There is no escape. The weather will not change.

  134. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:41

    ‘Fried Thompson’ Chicken

    1 spring chicken
    2 cups batter
    Cooking fat

    I say, I say pahdon me suh, but iz you or iz you ain’t mah constituents? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  135. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE JIZZ!!!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:43

    It is now the fall of my second year in Paris. I was sent here for a reason I have not yet been able to fathom.

    I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. A year ago, six months ago, I thought that I was an artist. I no longer think about it, I am. Everything that was literature has fallen from me. There are no more books to be written, thank God.

    This then? This is not a book. This is libel, slander, defamation of character. This is not a book, in the ordinary sense of the word. No, this is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of Art, a kick in the pants to God, Man, Destiny, Time, Love, Beauty…what you will. I am going to sing for you, a little off key perhaps, but I will sing. I will sing while you croak, I will dance over your dirty corpse…

    To sing you must first open your mouth. You must have a pair of lungs, and a little knowledge of music. It is not necessary to have an accordion, or a guitar. The essential thing is to want to sing. This then is a song. I am singing.

  136. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE JIZZ!!!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:45

    “Fried Thompson” and chicken:

    http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/09_01/ThompsonDM0609_468x415.jpg

  137. CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE JIZZ!!!!!!! said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:47

    Fried Wolfowitz and Thompson Chicken:

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t-EfdceTs60/Riy4xC8NseI/AAAAAAAAAcY/ROXF6OxyCyU/s400/Thompson%27s+wife+wolfowitz.jpg

  138. D. Aristophanes said,

    February 27, 2010 at 8:47

    That ain’t mah culchin hay-a-tige! Iz that yo culchin hay-a-tige?

  139. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 27, 2010 at 10:02

    Margaret Atwood has five holes?

    THERE ARE FOUR HOLES.

  140. Whale Chowder said,

    February 27, 2010 at 10:25

    Slather resulting potion over the tin man.

    That’s illegal in 27 states.

  141. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 10:29

    Jesus, help me find my proper place.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih8Vsebhu10

  142. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 10:52

    Fredrico Lorca is dead and gone.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-qcy0-7ngw

  143. M. Bouffant said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:10

    Ha ha the commie atheists are up watching reruns & linking them.

    I rate for Peggy Atwood.

  144. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:26

    Ha ha the commie atheists are up watching reruns & linking them.

    Insomnia is a terrible thing.

  145. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:29

    And Peggy Atwood has a monolithic dome:

    http://www.peggyatwood.com/

  146. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:33

    Meanwhile, back in California: Terrorists and anti-semites and nuclear bombs, oh my!

    http://www.foxandhoundsdaily.com/blog/john-wildermuth/6526-gop-senate-race-goes-nuclear

  147. M. Bouffant said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:39

    Irvine Assemblyman Chuck DeVore, the third person in the GOP contest, had even more fun with the story, with his spokesman Joshua Trevino calling Campbell “a friend to our foes” and suggesting he was “fellow traveling” with the American Islamist Movement.

    I want Chuck to be the nominee, but it won’t happen.

  148. justme said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:49

    Marty Wilson, a top aide to GOP Senate hopeful Carly Fiorina, denied he ever called Tom Campbell an anti-Semite, but he had no problem suggesting that the rival Senate candidate hobnobs with terrorists.

    To quote LBJ, “I don’t want to call him a pigfucker. I just want to hear him deny it.”

    This could get nasty and very deserving of popcorn.

  149. commie atheist said,

    February 27, 2010 at 11:57

    I almost wish that Meg Ebay and Carlyfornication would be elected, so that we Carlyfornians can continue our headlong slide into third-world status and bring the rest of the country down with us. But, who knows. There may be enough crazy people out there on election day to finish the job.

  150. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 14:03

    CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!! said,
    February 27, 2010 at 7:48

    Troofie, seriously…is your life that pathetic that, on a Friday night, you have get drunk and troll a COMEDY blog?

    Wow. I mean, wow. Sucks to be you.

    Oh, and by the way, your ass has just been kicked courtesy of Actor212*

    *wholly owned subsidiary of Actor212 Enterprises, a Cayman Islands Corporation

  151. actor212 said,

    February 27, 2010 at 14:05

    Shambling is inherently disorderly. I expect to see law-abiding zombies in close-order drill.

    That’s a First Amendment right, the freedom to shamble! Why do you hate the Constitution so?

  152. Till said,

    February 27, 2010 at 14:52

    Meg Whitman – bought Skype for a couple billion, forgot to buy the key technology that makes Skype work
    Carly Fiorina – drove HP into the ground, tossed their widely-respected medical/scientific equipment business

    Clearly they must be elected, to continue the Great American Tradition of failing upwards.

  153. Rusty Shackleford said,

    February 27, 2010 at 15:14

    It’s not a tragedy that DKW’s mom doesn’t have any teeth.

  154. H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,

    February 27, 2010 at 16:17

    “Let ‘em gum applesauce”

    Gotta go Google tumbrels.

  155. Pere Ubu said,

    February 27, 2010 at 16:34

    Masoaps Mozelle’s Choke Mold Throat

    Right… right, that’s the stuff they keep behind the counter at the 7-11, and you have to go in when Tony is on shift and tell him you’re here for “the plastic cups”, and he leads you down into the cellar and hands you a dripping package from a big freezer crate labeled “BORNEO”, right?

  156. Pere Ubu said,

    February 27, 2010 at 17:00

    *wholly owned subsidiary of Actor212 Enterprises, a Cayman Islands Corporation

    I bet all your stuff is outsourced to sweatshop snarkers in Vietnam, you soulless corporate bastidge.

  157. Lefty said,

    February 27, 2010 at 20:27

    My laptop screen cracked when I tried to fold this. What was it supposed to be?

  158. gocart mozart said,

    February 27, 2010 at 21:24

    My fault. I left and forget to check the lock on the badger cage. I also left the copy/paste machine running. I hope y’all forgive me.

  159. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 27, 2010 at 23:23

    I rate for Peggy Atwood.

    She’s no Peter Puck.

  160. A concerned citizen said,

    February 28, 2010 at 0:21

    Sarah Palin, rightly beloved by nearly all conservatives for her honesty, her advocacy, and her spunk

    Her spunk?

  161. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 28, 2010 at 1:44

    Her spunk?

    Sarah Palin is evolving a secret penis.

  162. Ruthie said,

    February 28, 2010 at 3:02

    I trust Breitbart will be hearing from the Quatloos! website’s “Tony the Wonder Llama” about this!

  163. GoatBoy said,

    February 28, 2010 at 7:21

    It’s nice to be off the hook for a change (or is it out of the barrel?)

  164. not a gator said,

    February 28, 2010 at 10:58

    Every time I see Mike Barnicle and Doris Kearns Goodwin on my teevee I thank god that dirty fucking hippie bloggers are held to higher standards than those that toil in print and visual media.

    Amen. Mikey on Morning Joe is the ultimate in Wingnut Welfare, the guy who got caught making up characters and dialogue in his Boston Globe Metro column years ago (he was fired… but apparently is so good at asskissing/blackmail that he very nearly wasn’t), yet frequently appears, not only on ESPN, where a fabulist would presumably be welcome (after all, many of the players are members of the liar’s club themselves–and heaven knows the fans are), but on MSNBC, as if anybody–who isn’t a rightwing douche hoping to hide in his skirts when he makes those “un-PC” pronouncements about fat chicks that they don’t have the balls to–gives a shit what that over-the-hill fart has to say.

  165. not a gator said,

    February 28, 2010 at 11:08

    Btw, no fat chicks.

    Granted, I may only be grossed out by fat chicks because my mother ballooned up to 300lbs when I was a kid AND had a charming habit of walking around the house clad only in her super-size-me granny pants. Ewwwwwwww.

    My wife is an ectomorph.

  166. not a gator said,

    February 28, 2010 at 11:10

    Oh yeah, what else? Mom got fat eating Doritos, sitting on the couch, and feeling sorry for herself. Totally serious here.

    She lost weight two ways: daily 1 hr walks with sensible diet; cancer.

  167. not a gator said,

    February 28, 2010 at 11:14

    And I still think Mike Barnicle is a douche. Besides, anyone as fat/saggy/grey-faced as that sack doesn’t have much credibility calling out women as “Mrs. Piggy.” I’ll tell ya something, though, he either visits ladies of the evening or has a very rich masturbatory life. I used to read his columns in my salad days and those were not the words of a man who could get off with another $_PERSON in the room. I picture him slipping into grotty gas station restrooms with titty mags to rub one out.

  168. Smut Clyde said,

    February 28, 2010 at 20:09

    THE ALPACA IS A FINE AND NOBLE BEAST
    Of camelids it is the least.

  169. actor212 said,

    March 1, 2010 at 4:37

    I bet all your stuff is outsourced to sweatshop snarkers in Vietnam, you soulless corporate bastidge.

    Sadly, Al Franken proved you can’t outsource comedy

  170. nationalplumbingcode said,

    March 1, 2010 at 12:17

    Yes, yes, it’s the mostest awesomeist post of all time, except, doh, the Alpaca is missing his fez. Alas.

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