“Law, Law”? MOAR Like Lord Haw-Haw, Amirite?

steynhead150.jpg  =  joehead150.jpg
Above: Mark Steyn

Shorter Mark Steyn
Maclean’s
“THE PEOPLE vs BLAIR, BUSH AND THE WAR ON TERROR”

  • Why should heroic nations like ours even need a legal reason to blow shit up, anyway? Isn’t greed reason enough? What about vengeance? Geopolitical strategery? How about just for the hell of it? No? Apparently pussified Britons, Canadians, and Americans want an Anglosphere of laws not of men. Yeah well, enjoy your suicide pact, ya namby-pamby, multi-culti, appeaser, fagg0rtz!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 145

 
 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

We certainly don’t want to get steyned getting out of the boat for the faux mangoes.

 
 

By the way, HTML, are you trying to compare Steyn to the GI Joe doll with the Kung Fu Shits?

 
 

Eric Holder’s Justice Department was happy to waste much of the last year investigating Bush administration lawyers to see if their legal advice on interrogation methods was grounds for disbarment.

OK, I dipped a toe in the water…I’m sorry for doubting the accuracy of your summary, HT.

Right, because we should never ever investigate an administration for turning us into a nation of Torquemadas.

But a *blow job*….

 
 

From the first link, proving Teh Human Steyn is as advertised on the tin:

honor requires the United States to “accept defeat,” as it did in Vietnam. Didn’t work out so swell for the natives, but to hell with them.

Um, you mean, Mr. Steyn, the “natives” who we stopped bombing, shooting and spraying with toxic chemicals? You mean the “natives” who seem to have done rather well for themselves, to the point where they’re embracing free enterprise and probably making the ugly ties you buy you have someone buy for you at Wal-Mart? And bonus points for calling them “natives”, like they were running around the jungle clad in a gourd firing blow-darts at monkeys, instead of the developing nation they are.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Right, because we should never ever investigate an administration for turning us into a nation of Torquemadas.

Damn straight. On the other hand, the wacked-out old fart in front of my local post office yesterday with his cute little “Impeach Obama” booth & petition? Totally on the right track.

 
 

Seth Rogen writes about politics?

 
 

Alternate shorter: The worst thing in the world are people who think we should obey our own laws. Fuck ’em.

 
 

Can someone please explain to me what about war makes it so sexually arousing to these people? Can’t they just play Call of Duty and get the same effect, without wasting trillions of dollars?

 
 

Can’t they just play Call of Duty and get the same effect, without wasting trillions of dollars?

Lemme see if I can put this in perspective.

“Call of War” is like the blow up rubbed doll you kept in a box when you were 16.

Real war is like the hooker your friends took you to the first time you got laid. Costs a lot more, but look at all the fun you can have.

 
 

Can’t they just play Call of Duty and get the same effect, without wasting trillions of dollars?

Honestly, there’s nothing more fulfilling (if you know what I mean, because I don’t) than advocating sending people you will never meet, or care to meet for that matter, off to some faraway country that you will never visit, or care to visit, to kill a bunch of bassakwards “people” that don’t believe in the same fairy tales as your. Meanwhile, Call of Duty is only as good as the TV you have.

 
 

Jaw-jaw is better than war-war, as Churchill said, although he might feel differently if he had to sit through an Obama state of the union.

I thought these jackasses idolized Winston, but Shit-Steyn is breaking with the orthodoxy. He clearly needs to be punished.

Remember what they used to say about Sept. 11? “The day that everything changed”?

I’ve often wondered what actually changed. Nothing for the better, that’s for sure.

What a truly horrible human being Steyn is.

 
 

We had very different childhoods, Actor…

 
 

Man, who topped the hideous waxwork dummy on the left with pubes instead of regular hair?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Can someone please explain to me what about war makes it so sexually arousing to these people? Can’t they just play Call of Duty and get the same effect, without wasting trillions of dollars?

I’m picturing a 3AM Duty Call.

 
 

Steyn’s blog should be named “Doody Call” because it’s shh.. ah nevermind.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

We had very different childhoods, Actor…

I was just thinking the same thing.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

We had very different childhoods, Actor…

Or very different circles of friends…

 
 

“Jaw-jaw is better than war-war, as Churchill said, although he might feel differently if he had to sit through an Obama state of the union”

Shorter SkidMark: Ha ha, a policy speech by Obama would even make Gandhi renounce non-violence, amirite? And rule of law is for pussies.

 
 

And rule of law is for pussies.

Unless blowjobs are involved, of course.

 
 

Pere, well we must uphold a moral, albeit repressed, sense of order.

Killin’s AOK though!

 
 

In which case pussies are moot, really.

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

 
 

Pere, well we must uphold a moral, albeit repressed, sense of order.

I’ve found that, for wingnuts, “morality” is strictly confined (OOOOH!!) to matters sexual – there’s no applying morals to anything else if sex isn’t involved.

 
 

Mark Steyn most certainly does not question the manly valor of his political opponents out of insecurity. Nope. Not a chance. His books on Broadway are huge sellers with military men, and you can’t spend more than five minutes on a construction site without someone popping in his showtunes album.

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

If I may…

 
 

I’ve found that, for wingnuts, “morality” is strictly confined (OOOOH!!) to matters sexual – there’s no applying morals to anything else if sex isn’t involved.

I can only imagine what went on a CPAC!

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

Hey, don’t look at me.

 
 

Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

Noooo! I advocate going to war with, like, lots of countries.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

In the fevers of Western civilization’s death throes, few delusions are more potent than the notion that everything can be litigated—

OW OW OW OW BRAIN HURTS

 
 

Steyn’s right, in a sense: Laws and litigation are irrelevant if all the major political actors choose either not to follow them or interpret them out of existence.

Legal systems aren’t rules imposed by magic — if a society’s powerful choose to completely disregard a system of laws (or exclusively enforce them on the non-powerful), then they’re meaningless.

Thus, “The Constitution Isn’t A Suicide Pact” for them means “We Can Do Whatever the Fuck We Want If We Say It’s For War or Glory”.

 
 

OT: multiple levels of irony

She looks really happy in that photo… if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

 
 

Stay in the boat, because if you don’t, you’ll likely get lost. That column goes like 20 different places on three different continents, and near as I can tell the only connective tissue is “people who don’t want to go to war with Muslims are a bunch of pussies.”

 
 

“I am thrilled to be on this show and to be a part of a program that educates teens and young adults about he consequences of teen pregnancy,” Palin, 19, said in a statement.

One of the consequences being that you get to set up your own consulting firm for the purpose of funneling money to support your Mom’s extravagant lifestyle.

Fucking fame whores.

 
 

are you trying to compare Steyn to the GI Joe doll with the Kung Fu Shits?

Completely uncalled for, HTML. Steyn is less of a man than GI Joe, plus he doesn’t have Lifelike Hair.

 
 

But don’t you get the sense that somewhere deep down inside he at least has a tiny, nagging, irritating sense that there’s something to the argument that we should be ruled by laws instead of impulsive violence? It might explain the length of the screed. Kind of defensive.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

No, but you may be the only john.

 
 

Fucking fame whores.

Now we can look forward to the daily “STOP MAKING FUN OF BRISTOL” screech from the Mooseeater.

 
 

But don’t you get the sense that somewhere deep down inside he at least has a tiny, nagging, irritating sense that there’s something to the argument that we should be ruled by laws instead of impulsive violence? It might explain the length of the screed. Kind of defensive.

Defensive as it is, he still doesn’t think THESE men should be ruled by laws.

Sodomy laws = good.
“Defense” of marriage laws = good
3-strike laws = good
Marijuana laws = good

International laws restraining hostile aggression = bad (although they cite these laws without hesitation to justify hostile aggression–nothing ironic about that)
International or domestic laws against torture = bad (although…you know the rest)

See a pattern there? Yes, Mr. Stain believes that men are ruled by laws, IF and ONLY IF people like him get to write and enforce the laws, and if the laws don’t apply to them.

@ Mark Steyn: You are not even a human fucking being. You are nothing but an unorganized, grabasstic piece of amphibian shit. Nobody likes you. Please go away.

 
 

Bunch of spoiled brats today I tell ya!

We couldn’t afford hookers when I was a kid.

We had masturbation and we liked it!

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

I grew up Unitarian. We didn’t need hookers.

 
 

“Now we can look forward to the daily “STOP MAKING FUN OF BRISTOL” screech from the Mooseeater.”

And the correct response is “stop whoring your children out to the media if you don’t want them to put up with the ugly side of it.” Of course, the only times they’re affected by the media is when their mother throws them headfirst into the press pool by claiming that Rahm Emmanuel’s coarse language was a personal insult to her child.

 
 

Its just that the only blow up doll I had growing up was a pool raft shaped like an aligator.

 
 

Though I did still **** it…

 
 

We had masturbation and we liked it!

Masturbation had the added effect of allowing us to hide our shame…

Oh, painful memories. I need to down a gunnybag of Oxy’s.

 
 

Also, not getting out of the boat on this one. I can smell that those ain’t mangoes from here.

 
 

Huh. I wonder if that is the root cause of the series of unfortunate misunderstandings that now has me barred from the reptile house’s at our nations zoos.

 
 

Kosovo meets that definition: no one remembers why we went in, who were the good guys, or what the hell the point of it was.

Which is, like, totally different, man, from why we went into Iraq. See, in Kosovo, we were trying to undo hundreds of years of internecine warfare on largely religious lines whereas in Iraq, we tried to undo decades of political warfare and let the religious tensions break out into the open. Much healthier for us, not so much for Iraqis.
Hey, ya go with the war ya got, not the war ya’d like to got.

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers?

The answer depends on the meaning of “have.” Is being “having?”

 
 

Rick Sanchez asked me, “So you just compared the Iraq war to World War II. Do you think that’s an apt comparison?”

I said, “No, I’m just — well in the sense they’re both wars.” Then I poointed out that All wars are, I suppose, in a sense, a war of convenience.

 
 

Kosovo meets that definition: no one remembers why we went in, who were the good guys, or what the hell the point of it was.

Is that a quote from Steyn?

’cause I sure as hell remember the fact that we shouldn’t have done that, either, there really were no “good guys”, they lied to us about it about as much as they did about Iraq and the point was to show our manly NATO manliess or some bullshit like that, when it was probably really about Balkan markets and/or resources.

 
 

Bristol Palin is the Anne Frank of Liberal Fascism.

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers?

weird. where i grew up all the girls wanted to do it as much as me. no need for teh hookers.

 
 

No, but you may be the only john.

She’d be the only woman who was ever faithful to me, in that case.

 
 

Its just that the only blow up doll I had growing up was a pool raft shaped like an aligator.

Ewwwwwwwww!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

*reaching for brain bleach*

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers?

Hey, your mom doesn’t count. BOO-YAH!

 
 

Masturbation had the added effect of allowing us to hide our shame…

HMPH!

*Some* of us are well hung…

 
 

Is being “having?”

How existential!

how much did you charge?

Interest. Website? Newsletter?

 
 

where i grew up all the girls wanted to do it as much as me. no need for teh hookers.

I know. I’ve been to Bay Ridge.

 
 

OT: multiple levels of irony

I mused on my pathetic excuse for a blog this morning that Bristol got knocked up intentionally to get away from Sarah.

 
 

And what’s more, you insensitive pricks* keep using that hateful word. It’s “sex workers,” you fucking retards.

*I just now see what I did there.

 
 

Natives? If this guy ever had a mind to begin with, well… I suggest putting him in a time machine and teleporting him back to the last helicopter off the roof in Saigon.

 
 

Sex workers hate insensitive pricks, after all.

Means more work.

 
 

It’s “sex workers,” you fucking retards.

OK, so its not “hookers”. It’s “Trig Palin”. Gotcha.

 
 

So did everyone see the gushy NYT profile (“omg! he can take pictures without dropping the camera!”) of Scott Brown? This is the best thing in it:

He said he was eager to see the White House for the first time and curious in particular about whether “they really have these secret entrances,” like the ones he remembered from “First Kid,” a movie starring the comedian Sinbad that he recently rewatched.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

where i grew up all the girls wanted to do it as much as me. no need for teh hookers.

I know. I’ve been to Bay Ridge.

I’ve been getting off the R train too soon!

 
 

I suggest putting him in a time machine and teleporting him back to the last helicopter off the roof in Saigon.

Just after it’s lifted off and is out of reach.

 
 

So PeeJ, were you the one that Actor…
Cause I can imagine that might make things a little awkward on the forum.

 
 

So little Bristol Palin is going on this show to advise teenagers not to get knocked up?

Really?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

He said he was eager to see the White House for the first time and curious in particular about whether “they really have these secret entrances,” like the ones he remembered from “First Kid,” a movie starring the comedian Sinbad that he recently rewatched.

The stop-motion animations by Ray Harryhausen were spectacular.

 
 

Just after it’s lifted off and is out of reach.

No. No. Let him on. Then chuck him out onto the roof.

 
 

like the ones he remembered from “First Kid,” a movie starring the comedian Sinbad that he recently rewatched

Okay, he’s watched a movie by Sinbad.

Willingly.

More than once.

And admitted as much in public.

That right there’s more than enough reason to hate him.

 
 

No. No. Let him on. Then chuck him out onto the roof.

Yeah, I like your version better.

“Um…. Hello, natives… !”

 
 

So PeeJ, were you the one that Actor…

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo…yes

Look, he looked good in the miniskirt….

 
 

You kids and your hookahs. When I were a lad we made do with smoking dried leeches cinnamon sticks and datura rollies. AND WE LIKED IT.

 
 

2 hours, the time it took me to get home, and its degenerated into blow up dolls & hookers…. you crazy kids…..

 
 

like the ones he remembered from “First Kid,” a movie starring the comedian Sinbad that he recently rewatched

To echo Pere Ubu, admitting you watched a bad movie is one thing, but admitting that you liked it so much you were willing to see it again has to be a sign of some kind of neurological disorder. Heckuva job, Massachusetts.

 
 

“Um…. Hello, natives… !”

**Thump!**

“Oh…um…excuse me little brown insignificant people (Omigod did I say that out loud?) Yes, yes, nice…um to meet you. Um…what? What? Take your hands off me you perishers! Oh! Um. Please? Oh…my…the diameter of the end the barrel of your assault rifle looks so…much…larger…when held that close to my face…What?! No! No! I am not peeing on YOU. Just me! Ha! Ha! Pee of the tiger! Haha! Good luck, right? Eh? WHAT? NOOOO!

 
 

the United States to “accept defeat,” as it did in Vietnam. Didn’t work out so swell for the natives, but to hell with them.

I am intrigued that Steyn is mocking the US army and national willpower for losing the war in Vietnam and leaving those poor brown natives to their fate, rather than mocking his own country for not even getting trying to bomb, shoot or starve them all help them.

 
 

2 hours, the time it took me to get home, and its degenerated into blow up dolls & hookers

Stop making fun of Bristol Palin.

 
 

2 hours, the time it took me to get home, and its degenerated into blow up dolls & hookers

Degenerated?

Water, level, seeks own.

 
 

And another thing.

I’m thinking we’re gonna see Shitsteyne on a “Hairclub for Men” commercial any day now.

 
 

Um, there’s no “e” in “team,” either!

 
 

New rule proposal:

All those who even attempt to compare current conflicts with WWII or WWI or even mention the name Neville Chamberlain (or implications of same) shall be shot on site. Summarily executed. Furthermore, those who imply that enforcing the law are pussies shall be shot.

In a way, that’s imposing their own beliefs on them, right?

 
 

site–what an idiot.

 
 

cinnamon sticks and datura rollies

What, dried banana skins too GOOD for you?

 
 

BRAKING NEWS! (sic)

In curling, the US and China are tied at 5 and in extra ends….but more important, Canada and Great Britain are tied, also 5-5, heading to end 12!

 
 

we made do with smoking dried leeches cinnamon sticks and datura rollies

LUXURY! We had nothing but vapors arising from a crack in the cave floor!

 
 

datura rollies

Shit! That was the name of the hooker!

 
 

In curling, the US and China are tied at 5 and in extra ends….but more important, Canada and Great Britain are tied, also 5-5, heading to end 12!

In English, please?

 
 

In English, please?

OK, roughly translated:

Boring sport is even more boring

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Heading into end 12? And me stuck here at work? GRRRRRR. (I’m now praying that the recorder was set up properly, otherwise this curling junky will be FURIOUS….)

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Boring? Boring you say? Hmmph. A combination of chess and billiards on ice, and you call it BORING? Philistine.

 
 

Water, level, seeks own.

fair point, caller, jealousy is a terrible thing…..

 
 

LUXURY! We had nothing but vapors arising from a crack in the cave floor!

We were evicted from our cave and had to go live under a waterfall. Every morning we had to get up at 5am to stand with our mouths open and wait for fish to fall into them.

 
 

We were evicted from our cave and had to go live under a waterfall. Every morning we had to get up at 5am to stand with our mouths open and wait for fish to fall into them.

Oh. You had water.

 
 

We were evicted from our cave and had to go live under a waterfall. Every morning we had to get up at 5am to stand with our mouths open and wait for fish to fall into them.

and fish, luxury

 
 

fair point, caller, jealousy is a terrible thing…..

I could have said: “What do expect around this joint?” but got cute instead.

 
 

You had caves? DECADENCE!

u.s.w.

 
 

I know about you kids and your “fish”.

 
 

New rule proposal:

All those who even attempt to compare current conflicts with WWII or WWI or even mention the name Neville Chamberlain (or implications of same) shall be shot on site. Summarily executed. Furthermore, those who imply that enforcing the law are pussies shall be shot.

In a way, that’s imposing their own beliefs on them, right?

NO! As Conservative Americans it’s their GOD Given Right (TM) to say whatever plops into their heads, and not only have it accepted, but praised by friend and foe alike, ( no matter how crazy or fact challenged it is) becasue if you dont, then that is stifling free speech and that is what Hitler and other LIEbrals do!

 
 

LUXURY! We had nothing but vapors arising from a crack in the cave floor!

You had a cave? We had to carve out a hole in dried bear dung…

 
 

Water, fish, shelter…waterfalls….

BAH!

I had to stand on top of a pile of rocks and pee on my family.

 
 

I know about you kids and your “fish”.

How many times must I live down my resemblance to Troy McClure?

 
 

I had to stand on top of a pile of rocks and pee on my family.

Just on urine? Or other families too?

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

NO! As Conservative Americans it’s their GOD Given Right (TM) to say whatever plops into their heads, and not only have it accepted, but praised by friend and foe alike, ( no matter how crazy or fact challenged it is) becasue if you dont, then that is stifling free speech and that is what Hitler and other LIEbrals do!

And you get bonus points if what you say contradicts what you said before. The shorter the time gap of your hypocrisy, the greater the points.

 
 

Just on urine? Or other families too?

I was that famous fountain in Rome, Vesicare.

 
 

“All those who even attempt to compare current conflicts with WWII or WWI or even mention the name Neville Chamberlain (or implications of same) shall be shot on site. Summarily executed. Furthermore, those who imply that enforcing the law are pussies shall be shot.”

Neville Chamberlain, history’s most famous Conservative appeaser? No, let’s not ban that name.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I know about you kids and your “fish”.

As mentioned in The Electric Chowder Acid Test.

 
 

You had a cave? We had to carve out a hole in dried bear dung…

Your bear dung was dried? LUXURY.

 
 

NO! As Conservative Americans it’s their GOD Given Right (TM) to say whatever plops into their heads, and not only have it accepted, but praised by friend and foe alike, ( no matter how crazy or fact challenged it is) becasue if you dont, then that is stifling free speech and that is what Hitler and other LIEbrals do!

I stand corrected. We had better bomb Iran before they nuke us, or worse yet, blow up the TV station that carries American Idol. ::shudder:::

 
 

Just on urine?

Well, you know what they say: urine the money.

 
 

And you get bonus points if what you say contradicts what you said before. The shorter the time gap of your hypocrisy, the greater the points.

Neville Chamberlain, history’s most famous Conservative appeaser? No, let’s not ban that name.

Oh, I see how it works. You CAN call somebody Hitler AND Chamberlain in the same schizophrenic screed, because the conservative god (the REAL god) says it’s all good. That means we can summarily execute the LIEberals, then, don’t it?

 
 

A combination of chess and billiards on ice, and you call it BORING?

Oh, please. Let’s call it what it is – shuffleboard on ice.

 
 

Oh, please. Let’s call it what it is – shuffleboard on ice.

More like beer pong on ice. This game could only be fun if you were hammered–hence it’s popularity in the Great White North!

 
 

More like beer pong on ice.

The real beauty lies in the fact that, if you have to ralph, you’re either bent over already or kneeling.

 
 

I shouldn’t say that.

I like curling.

But, and I mean no disrepect….ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I swear, a twelve draw tourney just to figure who goes on to play in the medal round makes curling at the Olympics last almost as long as the NHL season!

 
 

Luxury! My brother Og and I had to wake up in the Cretaceous period, sixty million years before we went to bed, and hunt Stegosaurs with nothing but a blunt stick (we didn’t have pointed sticks). And let me tell you, a blunt stick is no match for the stegosaur’s Thagomizer. Then when we got home our dad would kill us and dance around singing “Baal can spot the vultures in the stormy sky”.

 
 

We had very different childhoods, Actor…

yeah. but Actor’s sound slike it was a hell of a lot more fun!

 
 

The Cretaceous period? Would you like more buttered scones your highness???

 
 

The Cretaceous period? Would you like more buttered scones your highness???

Yea! Really! Things were so tough when I grew up, they called it the Cretinous Period!

 
 

What? You guys didn’t have hookers? Am I the only straight guy in the room?????

I learned about girls the old-fashioned way, nabbing copies of Playboy and Penthouse during Boy Scout paper drives…

 
 

Speaking of tarts, this may be old news, but the actress that did the voice of the “daughter of a former Alaskan governor” on Famiy Guy issued a statement, the best bit of which reads:

My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.

Note that the actress has Down’s syndrome. She also seems more articulate than the former half-governer.

 
 

Curling is a lot of fun to play, even though I have only tried it a couple of times. And yes, beer is almost always involved.

 
 

Curling is the only sport I can bear to watch in the Olympics anymore. ‘Struth! It’s not the events so much as the coverage–I LOVE ski jumping and bobsledding and cross-country skiing, but I just can’t stand the Team USA vs Teh World presentation framework anymore. Honest to Bastet, American sportswriters and broadcasters are perennially surprised that foreigners are not only allowed to *compete* in the Winter Olympics, they are also allowed to *win medals, even in sports where Americans do really well.*

So, curling it is. I wonder, is all the Canadian coverage like this, concerned with how well athletes are actually doing in a given event, rather than acting like the national penis size is on the line everytime one of their compatriots straps on a pair of skis???

 
 

where i grew up all the girls wanted to do it as much as me.

Where I grew up, all the girls wanted to do it as much as me – just not with me.

 
 

I learned about girls the old-fashioned way, nabbing copies of Playboy and Penthouse during Boy Scout paper drives…

BAH!

*WE* had to wait until National Geographic sent reports from Africa…

 
 

I LOVE ski jumping and bobsledding and cross-country skiing, but I just can’t stand the Team USA vs Teh World presentation framework anymore.

Errrr, all those sports have been on this week…the US has crapped out on all except maybe bobsled and half of one biathlon.

 
 

The real beauty lies in the fact that, if you have to ralph, you’re either bent over already or kneeling.

That reminds me of this girl in college.

Who, as it turns out, does have a website. I’d link to it, but the Iron Wall of Websense will most certainly block … as should the usually-more-porous wall of common sense, now that I think about it.

Sadly, no newsletter.

 
 

… the US has crapped out on all except maybe bobsled and half of one biathlon.

BODE MILLER, BITCHEZ!!

Let’s be honest: wintry sports tend to be the realm of people who don’t see the sun for half the year, and/or are convinced that eating fish soaked in lye is a great idea.

Besides, I’m boycotting all Olympics until they accept what is truly THE BEST American sport EVAH!

(So … have we sufficiently derailed this thread yet?)

 
 

Hatchepsut – great name, BTW. I don’t know how it is this year but in the past I thought the Canadian coverage was much better. I wish DirecTV had CBC, CTV and TSN. Sigh.

 
 

you lived ON the bear dung?

Luxury!

We waited every night, using our little brother as bite, to lure the bear over to where we lay down in the hopes the bear would evacuate it’s bowels on us.

 
 

The real beauty lies in the fact that, if you have to ralph, you’re either bent over already or kneeling.

And since it’s on ice, the vomit freezes instantly, making cleanup for the bar staff much easier than the usual floor, chair, or somehow covering every inch of an already vomit-inducing bathroom stall.

 
 

Oregon Beer Snob said,

February 23, 2010 at 23:19

Speaking of tarts, this may be old news, but the actress that did the voice of the “daughter of a former Alaskan governor” on Famiy Guy issued a statement, the best bit of which reads:

That was a Hall of Fame smackdown. Well done, Andrea Fay Friedman.

 
 

I love a man in uniform!

 
 

t’s not the events so much as the coverage–I LOVE ski jumping and bobsledding and cross-country skiing, but I just can’t stand the Team USA vs Teh World presentation framework anymore. Honest to Bastet, American sportswriters and broadcasters are perennially surprised that foreigners are not only allowed to *compete* in the Winter Olympics, they are also allowed to *win medals, even in sports where Americans do really well.*

I didn’t get that from the XC coverage at all; the Americans are pretty much an afterthought, and in a couple races they didn’t even bother to keep the cameras rolling long enough to show the first American finisher. And the ski jumping wasn’t as bad as, say, any of the ice events. Bobsledding I thought seemed pretty even-handed, but I didn’t watch long, it’s not my bag.

 
 

If you think the US coverage is bad, you should listen to Aussie TV commentators covering international competition. Jeebus, they’re a bunch of Homers.

All due respect, of course. I’m sure there’s no insecurity involved. At all.

 
 

ycotting all Olympics until they accept what is truly THE BEST American sport EVAH!

I may have to sign up to coach that.

 
 

Well, you know what they say: urine the money.

Beats being piss-poor, I spoz.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The Cretaceous period? Would you like more buttered scones your highness???

Yea! Really! Things were so tough when I grew up, they called it the Cretinous Period!

The Curvaceous Period was a much better time in which to live.

 
 

“Besides, I’m boycotting all Olympics until they accept what is truly THE BEST American sport EVAH!”

I was kind of hoping that link went somewhere different.

 
 

As a Canadian, I’m just pleased as punch that the venerable Maclean’s magazine has turned itself into a tinny shill for ex-pat wingnuts. Plus they do a fantastic job of bashing the french now. Recenty they listed Canada’s best cities for culture. Calgary was first. Montreal and Quebec city finished about sixty places lower, behind such cultural hotbeds as Medicine Hat and Thunder Bay. (I don’t remember the exact list, but it really was as stupid as this. I guess cows per citizen is a key cultural indicator.)

 
 

Great Jumping Jesus! Thunder Bay!??? I live an hour away and it has about as much culture as Duluth.

 
 

(comments are closed)