4
A Foolish Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds
self-defense
We briefly interrupt our extended coverage of wingnut wunderkind James “Great White Hope” O’Keefe to bring you breaking news from the backwoods of North Carolina where Bob “Confederate Wanker” Owens has improvidently waded into the “fucking retarded” brouhaha involving Rahm Emanuel. Apparently Rahm referred to some fellow Democrats as “fucking retarded,” and now Owens, the newly-minted defender of the dignity of the developmentally disabled everywhere, has penned a goober-splattered post calling for Rahm Emanuel to be fired, dragged on a rope behind Owens’s pickup for a few miles, and then tied to a fence somewhere until he comes to his senses and apologizes to Trig Palin.
Oops, wait, apparently now even an apology from Emanuel won’t satisfy the Confederate Wankee. Emanuel’s only hope for absolution from the Wankee is for Emanuel to commit ritual disembowelment on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
Of course, when Bob Owens done got hisself all het up cause somebody called Democrats “retarded” it doesn’t take Woodward and Bernstein to figure out that there’s a story here somewhere: either Owens has switched parties (about as likely as Pam Geller taking on the hijab) or he’s pooped his own pants before he could grab a gun and run out to his privy in his backyard. Thanks to the miracle of Google, where wondrous things can be found without the need of dressing up as Verizon technician and sneaking into a federal government office building, your faithful Tintin seached the Confederate Wanker website and — lord have mercy I think I’m going to faint now — found this:
I’ve long thought that the mental acuity of the average leftist was highly retarded … .
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
UPDATE: It is absolutely amazing the things you can learn at Confederate Wanker. Today we learn, in an update to the original post, that when Rahm Emanuel says “retarded’ it’s a noun but when Gomer Owens uses “retarded” it’s a verb. And here I always thought it was neither a noun or a verb but a participial adjective.
SECOND UPDATE: Confederate Wanker is now deleting comments that suggest that his noun-verb distinction is fucking retarded.
JGabriel said,
February 4, 2010 at 15:18
ConWank:
More from The Great Gazoogle: Results 1 – 10 of about 83 from confederateyankee.mu.nu for retarded. (0.28 seconds)
Results 1 – 10 of about 38 from confederateyankee.mu.nu for retard. (0.21 seconds)
So that’s a combined 121 uses of the word “retard” or “retarded” by ConWank.
Bob Owens might want to check with his own prop master before ridiculing others.
.
NobodySpecial said,
February 4, 2010 at 15:34
I’m shocked, shocked.
but seriously... said,
February 4, 2010 at 15:37
hope you don’t mind JG, but I couldn’t resist posting your findings on CY
El Cid said,
February 4, 2010 at 15:50
I think there’s a reason why Republicans and right wingers would feel such resentment against anyone deprecating the mentally challenged.
jess wonderin' said,
February 4, 2010 at 15:51
You mean from now on, we have to type *&%^$#%^ when we want to say FUCKING *&%^$#%^ ?
Gomer said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:01
Dixie Yanker….
Bigby said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:12
He takes is cues from his master, Limpballs. Poutrage 4ever. I guess Limpy and Luntz, et al, teach to do it because it fucking *works*. Wankee can call people retards every day for 20 years then turn on a fucking dime and feign outrage when someone from the other ‘tribe’ does it once, in which case, it’s a bona fide Capital Crime….and not one of Wankee’s followers (all 3 of them) with a) call him on it and b) not believe themselves that it’s a Capital Crime *and* “all libtards are ‘tarded”. It must be so nice to be able to have 100% contradictory things in your head at the same time and just not give a shit. That, or Wankee and his followers are all “UNeducable mentally retarded”.
Looch said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:13
Jgab: Went over to look at the comments at Wankee’s site and saw yours and Wankee’s response. I bet you’re licking your wounds now, eh?
I was looking through his posts (Gah! The goggles she no work!). He is an imbecile.
Looch said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:16
Ooops, that was but seriously who posted over there. And who is cowering after the big Wankee smackdown.
The koffee, she helps.
Pere Ubu said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:18
your faithful Tintin seached the Confederate Wanker website
Man, you gotta keep from throwing yourself on those grenades for us.
Like a child who strengthens his immune system by eating stuff he finds on the ground, how are we supposed to grow and mature unless we’re stupid enough ourselves to get off the boat now and then?
Spengler Dampniche said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:23
You’re just fishing for quotes. Guys like Owens don’t habitually use words like retarded, because “moran” is shorter.
God's Own Truth said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:28
have i mentioned how hard i love rahm? he’s the best friend the good guys have had in government since the first term of george w bush.
Spengler Dampniche said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:35
Don’t forget chestnuts like “libtard” and “leftard” when Googling, kids. Now excuse me, I have to get back to Andy Fartblart’s bedside. He has a sore head this morning.
Spengler Dampniche said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:37
Oh, it’s God’s Own Truth!
Hey, all you other guys, does anybody want to play a game of “do not respond to trolls no matter what?” Or is it just too tempting?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:38
If God doesn’t exist, does that mean God’s own Truth is a lie?
D. Aristophanes said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:47
If you’re a Southie who says ‘fuckin’ retahded’ 50 times a day, does it not count because you don’t use the ‘r’?
Looch said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:48
If God doesn’t exist, does that mean God’s own Truth is a lie?
Well, mebbe Gawd is dead. And that would make GoT a zombie truth, no?
I could be reaching.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2010 at 16:49
So he’s angry at Rahm for not giving him credit!
commie atheist said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:06
He’s onto you, Tintin:
I didn’t bother to read all the results, but scanning over them, it appears that the only times I used the word was to use the verb form to denote something or someone with slowed mental acuity or growth, such as this example that they cited (and of course truncated):
You see, he used the verb form, not the noun form, so you’re a stupid poopy-head.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:10
the verb form to denote something or someone with slowed mental acuity or growth,
Isn’t that how Rahm used it? With an extra “fucking”, of course.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:14
it appears that the only times I used the word was to use the verb form to denote something or someone with slowed mental acuity or growth, such as this example that they cited (and of course truncated)
OK, verb form, eh?
I retarded you.
You retarded me.
He retarded us.
Um, any of those look like any of the examples cited?
Tintin said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:27
I’d so be going over to CY right now if I wasn’t at work where my IP would show up. Tonight, we’re giving him a grammar lesson.
Ted the Slacker said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:28
only times I used the word was to use the verb form to denote something or someone with slowed mental acuity or growth
Oh, okay, so if you use it as a participle (or gerund), then that doesn’t count. QED calling CY a goatblower is insulting but saying he’s into goatblowing is not. Genius.
The Tragically Flip said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:35
Amazing, the people who can’t spout 3 sentences without making some complaint about political correctness are going to throw a PC fit themselves. I thought they wanted everyone to be socially free to use impolitic words? Don’t they revel in being unpolitically correct? Shouldn’t they be glad if key figures Maoist administration agree with them?
I know these questions are self-answering, but it needs to be said.
Looch said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:36
He is attempting to retard the progress of the process by which he is hoisted by his own petard.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:38
He is attempting to retard the progress of the process by which he is hoisted by his own petard
…by libtards!
lobbey said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:42
Um, any of those look like any of the examples cited?
I think he is referring to pig latin
El Cid said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:44
“Petarded”?
What about a petarded teabagger? A peatard?
The Red Badger of Courage said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:46
Hey, all you other guys, does anybody want to play a game of “do not respond to trolls no matter what?” Or is it just too tempting?
Already playing it. GOT is probably the most uninteresting troll ever. EVER.
soullite said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:47
It’s Rahm Emmanuel, who the fuck cares? Let him rot, the piece of shit isn’t worth defending. He’s scum that hates every last single person here.
You just look like prats defending him.
The Goddamn Batman Was Depicted As Having Used The Word "Retarded" In A Pejorative Sense, But That Was Frank Miller Writing So It Doesn't Count said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:55
IOKIYABB: It’s OK If You’re A Bloviating Blogger. Bob exempts himself because he doesn’t think that he should be held to the standards of an appointed public official, or, well, any standards, really.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 4, 2010 at 17:58
You just look like prats defending him.
Who’s defending him? I thought we were mocking TIDOS Yankee.
The Tragically Flip said,
February 4, 2010 at 18:05
It is true that TIDOS yankee would be doing us a great favour if he managed to get Rahm fired.
Kathleen in Oakland said,
February 4, 2010 at 18:27
I thought Rahm was using the verb form of “fucking”
Whale Chowder said,
February 4, 2010 at 18:38
I have to laff at the poutrage of the entire right over Rahm calling Democrats names. Like they haven’t come up with worse, and more offensive.
Do I dare imagine that it’s faked, meant to score political points? With whom? Their side already says the same and worse and any independent with half a brain can see the phony from space.
nutellaontoast said,
February 4, 2010 at 19:12
I hate to be a concern troll again, but he didn’t actually use it to mean mentally retarded in that instance you quote.
jim said,
February 4, 2010 at 19:14
A foolish mind is the consistency of little hobgoblins. Who need your donation to replace their BBQ grill.
kiki said,
February 4, 2010 at 19:44
Foolish hobgoblin has a consistently little mind.
Brandi said,
February 4, 2010 at 19:57
Hey, all you other guys, does anybody want to play a game of “do not respond to trolls no matter what?” Or is it just too tempting?
Has anyone here ever, EVER let a troll go by without slobbering onto its crotch at least once?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2010 at 21:03
Has anyone here ever, EVER let a troll go by without slobbering onto its crotch at least once?
You, but I hear you swallow.
Xboxershorts said,
February 4, 2010 at 21:46
Am I the only one here who’s trying to figure out where the trailer ball is in that picture? Does the Confederate Wankee have 2 inch trailer ball up embedded up his bunghole?
Jack Elam said,
February 4, 2010 at 22:36
He’s also IP blocking. Gonna keep posting it anyway, just for shits and giggles.
chimpevil said,
February 4, 2010 at 22:58
Tintin, I love you as a fellow queer (oxymoron???), committed BS-buster and master photo-shoppin fool, but I have to agree with nutellaontoast that you did crop CW’s quote, which in its entirety was this:
I’ve long thought that the mental acuity of the average leftist was highly retarded by a wall of anti-Bush agi-prop (hence the tagline, “liberalism is a persistent vegetative state”), but even still, I was blown away by the blatant paranoia, open delusions, and thinly-veiled hatred of American soldiers manifested on liberal blog Talk Left, regarding the killing of terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.
Retarded in that sense means “impeded in development” so he wasn’t calling leftists “retarded” per se. Having said that, the comment as a whole is fucking retarded in that it indicates a massive amount of mental deficiency.
A concerned citizen said,
February 4, 2010 at 23:24
I thought Rahm was using the verb form of “fucking”
Yeah, he really should’ve said “retardedly”
MAModerate said,
February 5, 2010 at 3:10
just thought i’d say, if you guys aren’t to busy with your mastubatory self-congratualation over what witty and cool flamers you are, you might want to see CYs systematic discrediting of this post and everything you have said, its right here: http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/archives/297768.php
Looch said,
February 5, 2010 at 4:08
just thought i’d say, if you guys aren’t to busy with your mastubatory self-congratualation over what witty and cool flamers you are…
Hey Bob, how ya doin’? How are things in Wankeeville?
Substance McGravitas said,
February 5, 2010 at 7:28
Retarded in that sense means “impeded in development” so he wasn’t calling leftists “retarded” per se.
Yeah he was. A vegetative state is a brain injury.
Substance McGravitas said,
February 5, 2010 at 7:33
Also “retarded” pretty much is “impeded in development” so I must be missing a joke or something.
MAModerate said,
February 5, 2010 at 21:02
ur missing reading comprehension skills i think
look at what chimp said, CY meant that democrat’s mental acuity was slowed down, not because of being liberal, but because of bush hatred and hatred of america in general, his opinion and he is entitled to it. And he didn’t call anyone retarded
Substance McGravitas said,
February 5, 2010 at 21:15
I don’t think I need to worry about the opinions on reading comprehension of someone who can’t write.
St. Timmeh the T-Bow said,
February 6, 2010 at 2:33
Let’s see what Our Lord and Savior has to say about this:
And whosoever shall say, Thou Fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
–The Jebus Chronicles, page 522, second paragraph from the bottom
There you have it. It’s a SIN to call out Jebus-worshippers on their obvious gullibility. Read it and weep.
not a gator said,
February 6, 2010 at 2:37
I always figured it was like Pokemon–if they run around saying “Wickit Pissah” or “Fucking Retaadud” all day then that must be their name.
not a gator said,
February 6, 2010 at 2:43
Just because an upright, shirt-waist conservative subscribes to Goat Fancier Monthly and occasionally shoplifts KY Vet Jelly™, flavored condoms, and Industrial-Strength Scope from the Wal-Mart health and beauty section, it does not make him a goatblower, loonie libs!
not a gator said,
February 6, 2010 at 2:43
My, this goat milk tastes mighty bitter…
MAModerate said,
February 7, 2010 at 4:38
Oh, sorry Mein Fuhrer McGravitas.
I’ll gas myself for not writing out you’re
Substance McGravitas said,
February 7, 2010 at 19:01
That’s a pretty good demonstration of shit writing in itself.
MAModerate said,
February 10, 2010 at 22:12
fuck this, i’m not gonna get into a flame war with a grammar nazi