Snotty Answers to Stupid Questions


Above: Living without glasses.

Nick Pistof asks

What Could You Live Without?

I could live without insufferable, obscenely over-compensated, newspaper columnists who shill for the very policies which make normal working people’s lot in life that much harder, asking said people to live without any material item, however superficial, empty, crass and wasteful the possession of such items may be.

You first, jackass.

 

Comments: 46

 
 
 

But god forbid people work together through government to actually help everyone. No, we’d much rather have our cute little anecdotes and sporadic philanthropy that make barely a dent in the whole problem.

And health care? Oh no. Why, if you get to see a doctor, I might have to wait slightly longer when I have no urgent problem. Plus socialism.

It just utterly baffles me that some people can acknowledge a problem and whine about it (like crappy, underfunded public schools as another example near to conservative hearts), yet be dead set against doing anything about it. Fuck them.

 
 

Oh, you weren’t talking to me? OK.

Give a man a fish, & he’ll eat for a day, teach him to fish (Is it that hard?) & you’ll have a low-wage employee at your cannery for as long as he lives.

Tell Nick Juan Epstein called. He needs his ‘fro back.

 
 

You’re taking this totally wrong.

The article is about a rich family whose daughter convinces them to sell their house and give half to charity.

I endorse this for all rich families.

 
 

No need to sell your house. Avoiding getting useless stuff and giving that money to charity works well too.

 
 

I woke up early this morning to watch a bit of the Campbell Brown show where David Gergen is explaining how Obama’s freeze/cap is unserious to “budget hawks” like himself — I shit you not that the decaying corpse spitting his venomous, nation-destroying homilies on the TV screen described himself that way — knowing full well, because he’s a cynical, morbid ass, that ‘deficit hawkery’ in no way whatsoever will help the nation out right now, and the Gergencorpse’s commentary was followed up by the deep insights of ERCK ERCKKSSSSON.

[And no, I wouldn’t consider Gergen a zombie, because zombies tend to have a bit more animation about them.]

 
 

we are all zombies now cuz we works for big corpsorations

 
 

That’s what the story’s about yes, but I take Kristof point to be “hey, you: think about downsizing!”

Which would be fine coming from even a limousine liberal if he/she had a history of advocating non-poor-raping policies, but from Kristof, who certainly does not, is just unacceptable.

 
 

That’s what the story’s about yes, but I take Kristof point to be “hey, you: think about downsizing!”

I think we should emphasize what the story actually says and not what Kristof wants us to take from it.

‘Hey! Rich dude! Nick Kristof says you’d be happier if all you insta-mansion assholes would sell your house and give half to charity! No, really! It’s in the New York Times!’

 
 

Good for the family that did this and shame on the dickhead columnist, kristof, and his patronizing tone. What the hell is so wrong about sitting wondering what you need and what you don’t, and getting rid of the latter (or not buying it in the fucken firstplace). Fuck, its this kind of bullshit that makes my blood boil and has led, IMHO, to global warming deniers and opposition to healthcare provision over in the US (among other stupid political positions). It seems to come down to, as a few commentators here have noted, to; “I’m all right, Jack”, or in americanise; “I’ve got mine, buddy”.

I don’t recall it being that way when i was younger, but via Thatcher and Reagan and their’ “no such thing a society” bollocks, we have given ourselves a free pass not to give a shit about the poor and unfortunate anymore.

Just think of the difference it would make if we stopped buying shit we don’t need, living in houses too big for ourselves and buying too big cars every year.

Fuck, i am grumpy today…… & Mickey Kaus sucks goats.

 
 

A rising tide lifts all boats. So sell your house and buy a boat.

 
 

Hmm, got out of the boat, shorter makes no sense, longer makes no sense either, but, er, what I mean is that the shorter is missing the point.

It’s NOT that he’s asking anyone to give anything up–in fact, he seems to loath the idea or at least is keenly embarrassed by it–what’s odd are his bizarre sexual fascinations, for example, his description of Joe, the “red-blooded American” son who apparently loves material things in a way that makes Kristof’s wiener feel funny.

 
 

That’s what the story’s about yes, but I take Kristof point to be “hey, you: think about downsizing!”

Ok, perhaps I am being a little harsh on him and reading a little too much between the lines, on second reading he veers near neutral, rather than sarcastic. However, I doubt he and the family would ever consider doing the same, even for a second.

btw, HTML, the time clock on the comments seems to be about 15 mins out.

 
 

Not a shorter.

Dunno about the time clock; hell, I’m just re-learning how to type again.

 
A Homeless Man Dying on the Streets of Atlanta
 

Kevin Salwen, a writer and entrepreneur in Atlanta, was driving his 14-year-old daughter, Hannah, back from a sleepover in 2006. While waiting at a traffic light, they saw a black Mercedes coupe on one side and a homeless man begging for food on the other. “Dad, if that man had a less nice car, that man there could have a meal,” Hannah protested.

Yeah, thanks a lot, then, honey, for donating all that money… to an organization pushing “self reliance”… in Ghana.

As I lie here dying in YOUR OWN F*CKIN’ BACKYARD, it will comfort me knowing you nobly suffered giving up so much, in such a meek and non-ostentatious way, in that teeny-weeny crackerbox of a house you now live in after trying to sell your $1.8 million dollar other home.

How sad to read in the SCRAP OF NEWSPAPER I HAVE TO SLEEP UNDER EVERY G*DDAMNED NIGHT what close quarters you all must now live in, in a home with at least 1,000 more square foot size than the average American home. I will shed a tear for you, if I can wring any scrap of moisture from my body, since, I’m, like, you know, STARVING TO DEATH IN YOUR OWN F*CKIN’ CITY. Maybe I can also find an old newspaper with one of your columns from when you used to work as a columnist for the Wall Street Journal; I bet I’m sure to find some words of comfort there!

Don’t worry about me, nope. I guess in your own way, you’re teaching me a lesson in “self reliance,” too. I’m just SO glad to have been the inspiration for your family’s public sainthood. Hope you don’t knock elbows in that tiny, tiny house! Ooo, did I get a little cynical there, darlin’s? Sorry to harsh your whole “look at our big sacrifice” vibe.

 
 

Dear Homeless Man in Atlanta:

You’re just not entertaining and exotic enough. Try making up an exciting ditty to premiere on American Idol about your pants falling down or something. Sorry, you just don’t have the chops to compete with insta-mansion selling charity types as do those rustic African villages people like to see in magazines.

Also, GET A JOB LUZR.

 
 

Time stamp has been off for months. Alternate dimension? German efficiency?

Mencken, re-learn by doing. You’re needed.

 
 

If you want to be a fry-cook, find a bigger fish.

 
 

The poor will always be with you. It’s Republican party policy.

 
 

M. Bouffant: Fish, schmish.

As Terry Pratchett has noted: build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. But set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

 
 

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.

Give a fish a man, and he’ll eat for months!

 
 

I’ve lived without a subscription to the New York Times for years. Have I missed something?

 
 

Living for two years in Denmark, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could live without religion and conservatives.

So if they could get to trying to fix their own miserable lives instead of trying to put every fiber of their being into trying to make my life as replete with obstacles as they could make it would greatly increase my chances of not only survival but actually being able to help them back by helping them get the freedoms and protections that would make their miserable lives easier to bear and less fraught with dangers and stresses.

 
 

As someone noted in re Pantload, these people either must only live in home, limo and office or else don’t talk in public like they do on the Innertubes, or else some wonderful, decent human being would beat them bloody.

 
 

As someone noted in re Pantload, these people either must only live in home, limo and office or else don’t talk in public like they do on the Innertubes, or else some wonderful, decent human being would beat them bloody.

I know they talk to taxi drivers…

 
 

“Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.

Teach a fish to dance, and it is an abomination.”

— Leviticus, Chapter 11, verse 48.

 
 

From the article,

“The Salwens also are troubled that some people are reacting negatively to their project, seeing them as sanctimonious showoffs.”

Pretty sure I know who these people are. There’s something about this country that makes charity considered a sign of weakness or worse, an uppity “liberal” attitude towards life which is really a cunning plot to embarrass and humiliate Middle America, which is the liberals’ goal all along. Wasn’t always this way – the Social Gospel was all the rage a hundred years ago.

Also, I love that his attitude throughout the column is condescending and dismissive more than anything else towards the people. He’s “nervous” that an “impressionable teenager” reading the book might lead his entire family to be “out on the street;” the girl’s brother doesn’t think life will improve if you give money to the poor, and the adjective to describe him is “reassuring;” very few people are “quite as nutty” as those in the article. Nice to know that he’s still in touch with the values of Real America.

 
 

I’m not sure I understand. I don’t have a problem with the article – seems like a great feel-good story, just the sort of human interest fluff that ought to be crowding our op-ed pages instead of deranged screeds about how we ought to bomb [insert country here] back to the stone age.

Is Kristof a sanctimonious prat? Well sure, he’s on the NYT op-ed page – but he’s better than most. Seriously, on the progressive scale for one (being the Fred Hiatt stamp of approval) to five (being a normal human being with an average capacity for empathy), Kristof is at least a three or four – that’s pretty fucking good considering how skewed writing opinions for major media seems to be.

Also, as an aside to A Homeless Man Dying on the Streets of Atlanta, you can be all indignant and angry at Kevin Salwen in his face at the Food Bank or Cafe 458.

 
 

Achance Monday, January 25th at 7:17PM EST (link)And Delay hasn’t been convicted of a thing,

and if what he did was a crime, you could send every Democrat officeholder, union leader, and Democrat non-profit head in the Country to jail. If we had a few Republican governors with some guts, we could put the Ds in the same place the CIA and other Western agencies put the KGB; kill one of ours with the certain knowledge that we’ll kill one of yours, pretty quickly puts a stop toit.

In Vino Veritas

 
 

“If we had a few Republican governors with some guts, we could put the Ds in the same place the CIA and other Western agencies put the KGB”

You mean running one of the biggest countries in the world? I’ll take it.

 
 

I volunteer to supervise the leg-breakers.
Achance Monday, January 25th at 7:01PM EST (link)
Too old to do it myself, but I sure still know how!

In Vino Veritas

 
 

Give a man a fire and he is warm for a night.
Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

 
 

I dunno – I missed out on any patronizing tone in the article (other than possibly the “most people wouldn’t be crazy enough to sell their house” bit). Perhaps that’s because I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. I got into it with a professor years ago because he was calling out a local lunatic who so overdid his Christmas lights that they could be seen from space. Said professor (a visiting Brit) was on and on about how “wasteful” it was, how this man could donate the money he spent on Christmas lights and electricity to help the less fortunate, and I said, “well, how is he any different than the guy driving a beemer past the homeless man sleeping on a grate for warmth? Couldn’t that guy drive a Honda instead and help out that homeless man?” The professor could not see any connection. I kept up, saying that we all spend money on non-necessities for a variety of reasons, but that Christmas light man’s obsession was, morally speaking, no worse than beemer man’s obsession for expensive cars, or MY obsession of collecting a huge library of music and books. All of us could live without those things. The bottom line is you either believe people have a right to spend their money how they like or you don’t, because we could all point at something everyone else is doing that’s “wasteful”.

That having been said, aside from the music and books, I’m not one who has ever pursued the accumulation of “stuff” relentlessly – and I even dropped the music collecting some years back. Not the books – I’ll never stop buying them. But I have long had a simple standard for making purchasing decisions, born out of economic necessity, which is: can I live without it? If the answer is yes, it’s only very rarely that I’ll buy it anyway. And most people would be better off, regardless of how much money they have, if they did the same. I live better on less than most people who have the same income level I have; by the same token, people who have a lot more money, and buy a lot more stuff, often end up being “owned” by their possessions. I don’t want to be owned by my stuff, so I try to not have as much of it. I’ve said for a lot of years that if I ever won the lottery (not bloody likely, because lottery tickets are another thing I don’t waste money buying) that about the only thing I’d do differently is that I’d never fly coach again. I just really don’t have any desire for a bigger or fancier house or a luxury car or designer bags and shoes or any of the multitude of other things that a lot of other folks think is a worthwhile way to spend their money.

But books? I’d have a shitload of them – and they’d all be hardcover.

 
 

MBouffant beat you to the Pratchet Quote, 77S–helps to scan upthread comments before diving in–at least when the threads are still young and tender.

and FYWP

 
 

I personally could live without Nick Kristoff and crew. I could especially live without 51% of all income going to the wealthiest 20% of the population.

 
 

Oh incidentally, it’s not like I think the Salwen’s are saints or anything. I mean, yes their charitable work is commendable but they downsized from a 1.6 million dollar house. No fucking shit that your family of five found itself interacting with one another more.

Anyways, the house in question. Too fucking big. Good on you for making a move away from the psychotic more, more, more consume-a-palooza that is Western society although three thousand square feet for five people still sounds excessive. But I am delighted that it’s working out for you and that you want to spread your story. I am fully behind converting more McMansions into aid for the needy – so that’s great and all – but when the revolution comes I ain’t sure it’s gonna be enough to keep you off the wall.

 
 

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, and then breed.

 
 

Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. As long as it’s a pretty good sized fish. And has a bunch of edible bits. And tastes okay. Unless you also give him some starches and/or some vegetables, ’cause then a smaller fish might last for a day. But he shouldn’t leave it out in warm temperatures, as he might get sick later.

 
 

Give a man a fish and you can write it off as a charitable expense. Now here’s the tricky part, get the man to use the fish to claim employment as a worker in the natural resouce extraction industry, which opens up all sorts of government programs he can access to get himself some starter capital. Now using that capital and documentation of employment as a fisher, the man will then apply for a mortgage and buy a house, taking out HELOC’s to recover that starter money. Okay, you’ve converted that one fish into a crappy mortgage somewhere in the quarter to half million range – now what you do is you package it with other loans and leverage it through this series of collateralized debt obligations at a factor of thirty or so. It’s win-win, d00d gets a house and you’ve converted a fish into something like ten million dollars. And buddy still has the fish!

 
 

HTML, I have to wonder why you have such a hard-on for Kristoff. He generally supports the not-crazy how-bout-we-don’t-kill-em-all-and-give-the-money-to-the-rich side of issues.

And I actually read the article in question as being supportive. Maybe some of his jokes fell flat thanks to tone deafness but really, it seems like the guy’s generally on our side.

And I thought we agreed that “more more more I must buy more” is part of the problem so not doing that would be a good thing. Am I missing something?

 
 

Kristof has a long history. Read up on him. Has no’t been our side long, if ever.

 
 

I looked at him a bit. His stance on sweatshop labor is a big black mark, but he opposed the Iraq War from the beginning and agitated about it being based on faulty evidence, he tends to support negotiations as opposed to bombing the shit out of people, he supports health care reform, and he seems to be more worldly in general than his ilk.

Maybe I’m just drinking some invisible Kool-Aid, but if I sat down and made a list of major media figures, politicians, and activists more reprehensible than Nicholas Kristof, I bet I could come up with 200. I just don’t see why this guy is worth the rage. I mean, if I wanted to see purity tests, I’d head over to FDL or Taibbi’s blog.

 
 

Ok fine.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day
Smack a man with a large fish, off a dock and into the harbor, and film it, and you have a brief, albeit hilarious Monty Python sketch.

 
 

I’ve been toying with the idea of not giving money to charity this year (any more, that is—I sent some to DWB for Haiti) because of my precarious job situation. Shitheads like this guy make me rethink that position. Thank you, shithead.

 
 

you’ve converted a fish into something like ten million dollars. And buddy still has the fish!
In your face, Jeebus!!

 
Bozell's Crack Investigator
 

Here’s a dump laid on the great man a few years back:
http://www.counterpunch.org/tripp06302004.html
QED.

 
 

(comments are closed)