Jan
26
26
Lies, Damn Lies And Stale Biscuits
Shorter Steven Crowder, Big Hollywood
Lonewolf Diaries: Poor People Can Be Greedy Too
- Poor people are selfish pigs because they give a lower percentage of their milk money to charity than rich people. It’s funny because it’s not true!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
jasdye said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:24
WTFook???
stayintheboatstayintheboat!!!
b/t this loserasshat and the LGoSC, i’m ready to declare open season on AynRandites.
jasdye said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:26
but then again, i do have reason to believe that Bauer is just stringing along the far-right, getting ready for the ultimate trap: to actually teach them something. he’s a master satirist, nobody else knows, that’sall.
http://readingpalin.blogspot.com/2010/01/lt-gov-andre-bauers-real-master-plan.html
gocart mozart said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:30
The obvious solution is to cut taxes on the rich and raise taxes on the poor. This will give an incentive for people to earn more money.
D. Aristophanes said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:35
Speaking of government incentives to be poor, back in the 90s I was deciding whether to lead a stable, productive life with decent vacations or to become a homeless crack addict. Luckily, they canceled midnight basketball — because before that happened, it was really 50-50, incentive-wise.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:42
I stuck a leg out of the boat and felt something slimy brush up against it, so I retreated. *shudder*
Ted the Slacker said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:43
When did the poor get bailed out and pay themselves bonuses? I missed that.
The New Testament in Pig Latin said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:44
Idows Way Ight May.
TheFreshBrew said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:44
“The action of hoarding all the good-looking prom dates, leaving me no other date options than my cousin Kevin…”
I know why they’re angry.
Lurking Canadian said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:45
There is a parable Jesus told, about a poor widow who puts two copper coins in the collection plate and a Pharisee who pours in a large quantity of silver. The poor widow gave more, Jesus explained, because she didn’t gave from what she needed, not from surplus.
This clown, on the other hand, digs up a proverb about a unhappy stingy man to prove that poor people are greedy because…they didn’t open a business. No, really, he says that. It’s worth getting off the boat just to read that bit.
Say what you like about Ayn Rand (and I have and will again) at least she didn’t try to suck up to Christians by saying “Jesus wants you to be greedy”. She acknowledged that Jesus wanted you to give your wealth away. That was the root of her problem with religion.
Now I find myself wishing that at least the wingnuts were as intellectually honest as Ayn Rand. Wow. Maybe you should stay in the boat after all.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:47
Now I find myself wishing that at least the wingnuts were as intellectually honest as Ayn Rand
Unfortunately, I’ve read enough Ayn Rand to know that she wasn’t intellectually honest at all.
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:48
“The obvious solution is to cut taxes on the rich and raise taxes on the poor.”
Or just cut the charitable giving deduction. The poor all itemize and have tax aadvisors, don’t they?
Lurking Canadian said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:49
Now I find myself wishing that at least the wingnuts were as intellectually honest as Ayn Rand
Unfortunately, I’ve read enough Ayn Rand to know that she wasn’t intellectually honest at all.
Are these statements necessarily contradictory?
Felonious Monk said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:51
Wait a damn minute. Greed is good, right? Driver of capitalism? And rich people acting greedy is what keeps us rich, right? But greedy poor people are apparently morally deficient for choosing not starving over charity, and must be corrected by the saintly, enlightened, illuminated Galts of the better-than-you class.
I don’t mind when they get the motivations of liberals completely and utterly wrong. Kinda fun to watch actually. But watching internal consistency break down to such a degree is rather sad. I think that when wingnuts make their deal with Satan to be respected by the mainstream no matter how dumb they act, they get some sort of chip implanted that sends out the message “Rich good; poor bad; act accordingly.” But maybe accordingly is too big a word.
Butt Monkey said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:51
The obvious solution is to cut taxes on the rich and raise taxes on the poor.
See, this is always the solution to any problem. Look how svelte K-lo got during the Bush Administration!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:59
Alternate shorter- I don’t see any Haitians donating to UNICEF.
pedestrian said,
January 26, 2010 at 21:59
That is an unfair stereotype. In the real world, everyone else becomes a slave to their greed.
It’s funny because it’s not true!
As anyone would know who has ever been poor or spent time with poor people . A lot of “able bodied” homeless people will literally give you the shirt off their backs. Not to mention that the big tippers are construction workers and truck drivers, while the people barking into their blackberries are highly likely to screw you.
animus said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:00
It’s all the fault of materialism. Once upon a time, you could sell your soul with no outwardly visible effects. Now that fewer people believe in souls, you have to sell your brain instead.
Pere Ubu said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:06
Poor people are selfish pigs because they give a lower percentage of their milk money to charity than rich people.
So all they’re left with for a political arguement is “Neener, neener”?
DocAmazing said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:10
Latest in a series. The current campaign is to assert, against all evidence, that the rich are really doing the poor a service and are doing God’s work; one of the Goldman Sachs crew actually went as far as to make that claim.
Too bad there’s not God; if anyone deserved hell, it would be these creatures.
pedestrian said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:12
Kevin called. He said that if you insist on spending Christmas with the family this year, he is not interested in taking a bath together “like when we were kids,” so please stop asking.
Chris said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:13
“There is a parable Jesus told, about a poor widow who puts two copper coins in the collection plate and a Pharisee who pours in a large quantity of silver. The poor widow gave more, Jesus explained, because she didn’t gave from what she needed, not from surplus.”
That’s the story that popped into my mind when I read that.
And in my experience, if there’s any trend in terms of stinginess and greed, it goes the other way – the more money people have, the more they hoard it. My circle of college friends spanned the spectrum from working-class western PA to top-of-the-ladder, Real-Housewives-Of-New-Jersey-town aristocracy. Out of us all, the only one whose parents dodged taxes through Cayman Islands accounts was the one at the very top of the income scale. Unsurprisingly, she and her daddy were yellow-dog Republicans.
jasdye said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:13
Ayn Rand is against my religion.
my religion favors the downtrodden. Behold:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
that the blind will see,
that the oppressed will be set free,
and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.”
Ted the Slacker said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:13
Net diary entries:
Homeless people can also be unwelcoming hosts.
Starving people can also be couch potatoes.
commie atheist said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:16
Ha. Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2010/01/acorn_gotcha_man_arrested_for.html
The Tragically Flip said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:18
I’m staying the boat, but are any of the comments bringing up the grand old canard about America being the world’s most generous donor because it gives the most in absolute dollar terms instead of measuring % of GDP?
I really like that one.
El Cid said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:19
Conservabible.
Ted the Slacker said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:22
Ha. Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What would not be at all surprising is if he ratted out all his co-conspirators. Anyone bankrolling this drip better be concerned they are going to be implicated as well.
D. Aristophanes said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:23
commie atheist – holy crap … there is a God after all?
PeeJ said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:26
Chowderhead is aiming for punditry stardom by channeling Bobo Brooks. He
findsMakes up “facts” to spin his absurd psychological evaluations.Nothing to see here, folks. Move along to your homes now.
reverter said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:27
I come from a family of 8 brothers and sisters. My oldest brother has cancer and a shitty health insurance plan. Of the 8 of us, 1 of my brothers (the youngest) is a raving wing-nut catholic climate change denier.
For Xmas, we decided (without the knowledge of my oldest brother) to pool some money together to give to him to help defray the expenses not covered by the shitty insurance. I collected the funds from everybody (including my nearly bankrupt youngest sister) EXCEPT my wing-nut brother. He’s married to a doctor, and managed to buy his kids a Wii for xmas. I’m struggling raising 2 kids, with an out-of-work wife who used to provide over half the income, but I’m pitching in. I certainly would like to buy a Wii for my kids.
I sent an email to all of my sibs after collecting, saying, “If you still want to contribute, do so now, because I’m going to disburse it to our sick brother.”
Nothing from the wing-nut bro.
It’s very disheartening to not be able to reach someone so close – it’s a horrible ideology, and has made good people act horribly.
James O'Keefe, professional rat bastard said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:30
But, but, but…if I don’t break the law by stealing information and breaking into people’s offices, how will we ever restore the rule of law? I mean, you guys don’t expect me to accept nigger law, do you?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:30
Are these statements necessarily contradictory?
I guess not. And, really, any form of the word “intellectual” does not belong in a sentence with the Teabaggers.
The FBI, alleging a plot to wiretap Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office in downtown New Orleans, arrested four people Monday…
Were they all wearing pimp costumes?
commie atheist said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:31
commie atheist – holy crap … there is a God after all?
No, but there is a man in the sky who controls everything, and he punishes people who do bad things, and rewards people who do good things, although sometimes he does the reverse, and sometimes he just randomly kills lots of people for no apparent reason.
(Cribbed from Ricky Gervais’ “The Invention of Lying,” which is a wonderful, sweetly subversive movie that everyone should go out and rent right now. Seriously.)
Substance McGravitas said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:32
Nixon did it, and now he’s a saint.
Lurking Canadian said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:37
The FBI, alleging a plot to wiretap Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office in downtown New Orleans, arrested four people Monday, including James O’Keefe, a conservative filmmaker whose undercover videos at ACORN field offices severely damaged the advocacy group’s credibility.
If we’re having a poll, I would like to stake out the following position:
Within 24 hours, Breitbart, Malkin and the entire wingnut noise machine will be claiming that this was a sting operation based on falsified evidence and Nazi jackbooted ACORN Obama-is-a-commo-marxo-fascist thugs.
Chris said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:38
Some input on the relation between greed and poverty; this was written by an anti-war blogger and journalist way back in 2004 when he was touring Iraq, and he observes much the same thing as what we’ve been saying here. Here’s a link to the relevant archives (I don’t know how to direct it to the exact article) – http://www.empirenotes.org/april04.html
And the text itself copied and pasted below;
“April 18, 12:57 am EST. Baghdad, Iraq — You hear a lot about the thieves and bandits ever since the “liberation” — and that’s certainly true to an extent. But my experience has been that your average Iraqi has no petty dishonesty of this kind.
I wrote earlier about my time in Aadhamiyah, when people were so furious about Fallujah but still took trouble to point out to me that my money was falling out of my pockets. I often leave small bills lying around in my hotel room. The dirt-poor middle-aged women who clean the hotel room — and look remarkably like their counterparts in the United States — never touch anything. And the amount of money is not small to them — a $20 bill is one third of what the CPA was paying an Iraqi policeman every month, even though the job is phenomenally risky (of course, the salary was so pitiful that every policeman complained about it).
I remember, the first time I rode a “minibus”, a small van with 13 passengers, while in Turkey — and what a shock I felt when a man sitting behind me tapped my shoulder, stuck a bundle of bills in my hand, and indicated that I should pass it up towards the driver. People pay at different times, needing different amounts of change, some of which has to wait until somebody else pays with small bills, and they pass their money to complete strangers with complete faith that the right amount of change will come back to them — and it always does.
As an American, I was very edgy about handing my money, not to the driver himself, but to a fellow passenger. It just doesn’t occur to a Turk that someone else will pocket part of the money, then claim that it’s his — although it certainly occurred to me. It took me several minibus rides before I lost my natural wariness.
I confess, I sometimes left bills around deliberately in my hotel just to see what would happen (not that I’d have done anything about it).
Contrary to common perception, the poor of the world are mostly quite honest, even though they have far more justification for stealing. So I’m not saying this is exceptional behavior. I still think it’s remarkable, though.
Permalink”
The Tragically Flip said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:39
O’Keefe on Thursday gave a speech to Libertarian Pelican Institute for Public Policy in New Orleans.
Shocking!
Felonious Monk said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:42
Canadian, I wouldn’t dare bet against that.
Pere Ubu said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:51
including James O’Keefe, a conservative filmmaker
Karma.
Felonious Monk said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:52
Pelican Institute
Whaa-aat? Pelicans aren’t libertarians, always giving fish a free ride in their beaks! Yeah, then they eat them, but…still! Free ride! If you want to name your club after a true freedom animal, call it the
Eagle InstituteCYBORG EAGLE INSTITUTEwith lasers!Anonymous said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:53
Sweet Jeebus, that NOLA story has wwwwwwonderful twofer:
O’Keefe on Thursday gave a speech to the Pelican Institute for Public Policy, a libertarian group in New Orleans.
….
Flanagan is the son of William Flanagan, who is the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana, the office confirmed. All four were charged with entering federal property under false pretenses with the intent of committing a felony.
;;;;
I look forward to all Federal grant applicants having to affirm that they don’t have nothing to do with Teh Fukcing Pelicans.
Pere Ubu said,
January 26, 2010 at 22:53
And I”ll second the “this was a sting operation to destroy a good documentary filmmaker JUST LIKE MICHAEL MOORE except everything he makes is not a evil liberal Stalinist lie so there nyaaah“.
nutellaontoast said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:06
“He who gives to the poor will lack nothing,
but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.”
Proverbs 28:27
I’m no bible expert, but I looked up that page on the sneaking suspicion that Jesus didn’t actually think that the poor were greedy and deserved it.
nutellaontoast said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:16
“I’m staying the boat, but are any of the comments bringing up the grand old canard about America being the world’s most generous donor because it gives the most in absolute dollar terms instead of measuring % of GDP?
I really like that one.”
I don’t know if the numbers have changed. But it wasn’t too long ago that Japan gave more total, not just as % of GDP
slippy said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:29
If they acted more like the rich and stole every dime that wasn’t superglued to its owners hands, they would be rich.
This is just proof to me that being wealthy in America is a measure of who’s the biggest fucking crook. They’re ALL crooks in my eyes. Every one of them. One of the reasons my respect for the law in this country has left me. It’s nothing but a fucking giant con-job and the most venal, depraved fucking crook wins.
Iason Ouabache said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:40
And boom goes the dynamite.
vacuumslayer said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:46
Good fucking god. I’d like to use that guy to clean out my vajayjay cuz he is a huge DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And omg, the comments. The sad, pathetic comments. I honestly think these people would curl up and die if they didn’t have “stingy poor’ to look down upon. I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. To think that roughly 30% of the country is that stupid and lacking in empathy is just fokking scary.
M. Bouffant said,
January 27, 2010 at 1:51
Note original title of Crowderhead’s item:
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/scrowder/2010/01/19/lonewolf-diaries-poor-people-can-be-greedy-scumbags-too/
Linnaeus said,
January 27, 2010 at 4:32
Or, as the Lolcat Bible puts it:
jasdye said,
January 27, 2010 at 4:46
Like a lame man’s legs, which hang useless, is a proverb in the mouth of a fool (proverbs 26:7)
Chris said,
January 27, 2010 at 5:08
“I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. To think that roughly 30% of the country is that stupid and lacking in empathy is just fokking scary.”
It’s not the fact that 30% of the country is that fucked up that’s scary. What’s scary is that among the other 70%, at least half listen attentively and respectfully to the opinions of the 30 instead of dismissing them as the fucking dickwads they are.
jasdye said,
January 27, 2010 at 5:57
Like a lame man’s legs, which hang useless, is a proverb in the mouth of a fool (proverbs 26:7)
It’s like that.
Grace Nearing said,
January 27, 2010 at 8:27
Unfortunately, I’ve read enough Ayn Rand to know that she wasn’t intellectually honest at all.
T&U: Ayn Rand was like most chain-smoking, dour, and extremely unattractive people: she was just desperately trying to get laid. As a solution to her dating problems, she created her own cult, customized to suit the times and her intellectual pretensions. It worked: she found guys willing to screw her without making her put a bag over her head.
not a gator said,
January 27, 2010 at 13:12
I didn’t Trust The Shorter, but it wasn’t on purpose, I clicked on the wrong link, read the first para and got sucked into the madness … ugh! This is your brain … this is your brain on the Old Testament.
Goddammit, where did I leave my Heathen-brand brain bleach?
MrToad said,
January 27, 2010 at 19:04
Slippy said: “This is just proof to me that being wealthy in America is a measure of who’s the biggest fucking crook.”
I’m sorry, Slippy, but you’re simply wrong, and a liberal nutcase to boot. (hey! that came out as a double-meaning thingy!) Every right-thinking person today knows that money = morality. The more money you have, the more morally upright you are. Jesus says so. “laws” obviously only apply to the immoral (= poor) and liberal ( = unholy heretics and heathens).
I hope that clears up your confusion. No need to thank me.
ice9 said,
January 27, 2010 at 23:11
They all have 10 grand in their sock. He said that.
ice9