Jan
23
23
Hell Hath No Fury
“S,N! must’ve hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up
like that, huh, kids?”
Shorter Assistant Clinical Perfesser Bill Jacobson aka MiniInstaHickWannabe, L-eg-a-l I-ns-u-r-ec-t-ile Dys-fu-nc-t-ion
The People Are on the Phone
- Sadly, No! sucks.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Ugluks Flea said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:22
While I think Herr Doctor Professor Professor Jacobson would agree that SN! does indeed suck, your link is to him whining about TBogg.
Am I just missing something, or is I stupid? Okay, the latter is true regardless, but still.
Bruce Sharp said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:23
The target of your link is wrong. I think you were going for this: http://legalinsurrection.blogspot.com/2010/01/people-are-on-phone.html
Tintin said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:26
Link fixed. Thanks!
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:29
You’re nobody until you’ve been taken down by the perfessor. And afterwards — you’re nobody.
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:32
Also, Hell Hath No
FuryFurry is the correct title. Fiqst. Also.N__B said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:39
Also, Hell Hath No Furry is the correct title. Fiqst. Also.
There go my after-life entertainment plans.
Davis said,
January 23, 2010 at 17:56
What does “clinical” mean in that context? Just wondering…
PeeJ said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:02
The background color at that site is suspicously Dijon-ish.
Grace Nearing said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:02
Silly people. Don’t phone your rep. Now that SCOTUS has ruled, just FedEx great big flippin’ wads of cash. Remember to have yourself incorporated first, though. Otherwise, it’s just a bribe.
N__B said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:05
What does “clinical” mean in that context?
Shorthand for “clinically insane.”
Paul T. Lazaro said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:09
Actually, it’s not “Clinical” it’s “Clinique,” which is his preferred moisturizer/lubricant.
N__B said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:10
Actually, it’s not “Clinical” it’s “Clinique,” which is his preferred moisturizer/lubricant.
Doesn’t that get matted in the fur suit?
Paul T. Lazaro said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:12
…among other things….
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:29
It can’t be. The shorter can’t be correct. I’m getting out of the motherfuckin’ boat and looking for mangoes.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:31
I’m back in the boat. Fuck those mangoes, man. ATTS.
Pryme said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:52
So he’s saying that being politically engaged is dumb? That we should only pay attention during election time, then go back to bed and nap away for another two years while his ilk “keeps an eye on things?”
Screw that noise.
nutellaontoast said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:56
I love how he uses as evidence America’s complete exasperation with our legislative process that trying to change it is stupid.
nutellaontoast said,
January 23, 2010 at 18:56
Wow, that wasn’t really a sentence, was it? I think you caught my drift though.
Note to self: Edit, then submit.
Felonious Monk said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:33
Ah, conservatives. What once had to be at least disguised behind code words is now acceptable, from “Fuck the niggers” (Katrina, Haiti) to “Obama’s a bastard child” (Brown) to “Hell yes we torture.” (just pick one.) And now “Trying to change things politically is stupid” is on the table. Well Billy Jakes, rest assured than your whining isn’t going to change one damn mind on this front, because you’re just not important or smart enough.
jim said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:38
His post may (heh) indeed have some insight into your collective overall level of suckery, but I fear it still leaves us facing a most distressing lacuna in regards to the Swallowing Versus Spitting dichotomy. Perhaps one day the National Review, Reason, or some other fount of neocon profundity can plumb the abyss of this thorny issue.
Or not.
Until today, being the neophyte of political science that I am, I didn’t even know that only popular bills can be allowed to pass into law! Boy oh boy, is my mug red! I await with gaping mandible & staccato breath the upcoming votes on the Titties & Beer Act, the Universal Texas Mickeys & Daily Dimebags Act, & the opening ceremonies of the impending Foolproof Omnipotence & Immortality Agency.
tigrismus said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:42
And now “Trying to change things politically is stupid” is on the table.
And just so much bullshit, as the teabaggers have been
riotingassembling, ranting on the phone to representatives, etc. for ages now. Professor Dijon doesn’t REALLY want people to feel like trying to influence politicians is a stupid waste of time, he wants US to feel that way.Whale Chowder said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:46
“So he’s saying that being politically engaged is dumb?”
He’s saying that (just over half of) (some of) the people of Massachusetts speak for the enitire country and that we should all submit to their will.
Daize said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:47
“Remember to have yourself incorporated first, though. Otherwise, it’s just a bribe.”
This.
The Goddamn Batman Has To Wonder said,
January 23, 2010 at 19:53
In the manner of a stopped clock being right twice a day, Lil’ Perfesser does have a point when he delivers this with a certain overweening sarcasm:
He’s probably right that there will be a few, at least, that will try to hang on even though they’d be the first to go in the midterm election. Not that we shouldn’t try, anyway, of course.
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape said,
January 23, 2010 at 20:00
Fap on, Garth.
jim said,
January 23, 2010 at 20:12
Someone, stop me, please, before I troll again!
So, baby … was it good for you too?
wiley said,
January 23, 2010 at 20:53
Twas good Jim.
KWillow said,
January 23, 2010 at 21:04
Not Dijon mustard, Baby Poop. I know the color well.
chris said,
January 23, 2010 at 21:08
Oh Jim…Smoke?
lobbey said,
January 23, 2010 at 21:20
What does “clinical” mean in that context? Just wondering…
yeah, what exactly is a clinical law ‘professor’ ?
oh and FYWP, why go hatin’ on proxies
real scotsman said,
January 23, 2010 at 21:28
Someone, stop me, please, before I troll again!
jim, no, you do it with style….
and if i may be so bold (and not knowing what time zone you live in), you’re trolling improves as the hours wind on. whatever your drinking, buy more!!
EnfantTerrible said,
January 24, 2010 at 0:58
Um, that picture – which Renaissance painting did you photoshop?
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 1:20
Hey Tig,
I can call you that, right? Anyhow, wrt: And now “Trying to change things politically is stupid” is on the table. [...] Professor Dijon doesn’t REALLY want people to feel like trying to influence politicians is a stupid waste of time, he wants US to feel that way.
Yolky-are, people, IOKIYAR. When it’s SOP for teabaggers to take pot shots at elected officials even in populous metro areas they’ll be saying the same shit, “trying to influence politicians [with violence] is a stupid waste of time! [unless you're a teabagger, haw haw haw]”
Bookmark it.
tigrismus said,
January 24, 2010 at 1:59
Actually, it’s pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove.” ;-p
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 2:02
I lolled.
But seriously, assassination politics? IOKIYAR. Just watch.
tigrismus said,
January 24, 2010 at 2:24
Well, I hope you’re wrong but wouldn’t bet money on it.
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 2:33
That’s kinda what I mean. It’s not great to really dwell on it, but is the tea-bagging crowd bigger than the Approve-of-murdering-Dr-Tiller crowd? I think it is.
Isn’t it? There’s more nutty tea-baggers than nutty pro-lifters, right?
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 2:35
God, this whole political year (or two?) has me so depressed and cynical.
Proud Teabagging Patriot said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:10
Hey, fuck you liberals! We WIN! No more liberal bias unions buying elections, the other side gets a say, about time! Free speech is not really free for those who actually create jobs, bring freedom and defend USA values! Amen!
Chris said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:18
How do businesses “bring freedom” or “defend USA values”? Especially that last one?
Proud Japanese Teabagging Patriot said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:23
Hey, fuck you dolphin!
Proud member of Bias Union, Local 102 said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:36
Hey, watch it, troll. We produce half the bias that you indulge in daily. Do you want to have to buy foreign bias? You better answer correctly, or I might have to thug my union thugs to come and thug you thug. Thug.
tigrismus said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:44
No more liberal bias unions buying elections, the other side gets a say, about time
Except the court decision removed the spending limits on unions, too. OOPSIE DOODLE!
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 3:57
But cynically, GE has more cash to spend on campaigns than any single labor union. So what we need is to escalate the “arms war” wrt union conglomeration and scope… now suddenly we’re back to the previous dystopia of warring corporations (only now one is a transnational workers party).
Viva la revolucion!
tigrismus said,
January 24, 2010 at 5:14
Yeah, I was just troll-poking, but I think what we really need is to place all “people” under the same limits: $2400 per candidate per election, and a $45,600 total biennial limit to all candidates. Of course, I also think it would be more important to legislatively define “people” than “marriage,” so I’m an amoral socialist crazy person who can be safely ignored by all concerned.
jim said,
January 24, 2010 at 5:37
whatever your drinking, buy more!!
Mmm … more espresso. Don’t look now, but I’m soaking in it.
No more liberal bias unions buying elections, the other side gets a say, about time!
Amen, indeed!
Good to see SOMEONE around here concerned with the heartbreaking plight of the same innocent helpless corporations that’ve permenently outsourced so many jobs overseas (“Please don’t cry, America … don’t you understand, honey? I only beat you to a pulp with this baseball bat because I love you so damn much!”) while transforming amber waves of grain into platforms for toxic agribisness runoff while producing fodder for more factory-farming vectors for good wholesome E. coli (that misunderstood boon to mankind that’s about to be declared a vitamin via the Merck/McDonald’s/PepsiCo Nutrient Restructuring Act of 2013), & taking your national culture all the way from Arthur Miller & the Metroplitan Opera to Paris Hilton &Tila Tequila in just a few short decades.
If Americans don’t like it, they’re free to just yank those bootstraps even harder & buy their OWN billion-dollar multinationals!
A rising tsunami lifts all yachts! Once again, through the magic of the marketplace, The Invisible Reacharound triumphs! USA! USA! USA!
jim said,
January 24, 2010 at 5:44
Metropolitan Opera … yeah, okay, I admit it – I’m too
stubbornproud to use SpellCheck.You can lead a masochist to Ozonol but you can’t make him apply it. Or some damn thing.
Sheesh said,
January 24, 2010 at 5:51
Hey Jim,
Speaking of super-bootstrapping Galtians (and in reference to my iokiyar comments above) check out at least parts 1 and 7 on this page… http://www.outpost-of-freedom.com/jimbellap.htm I think it will really amuse you in your revved up state!
But getting back to assassination; I love Edroso: (from the other day)
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 24, 2010 at 8:28
jim, your comment was too rich for the Ass. Prof’s blood.
You did well, as always!
Nyaa said,
January 24, 2010 at 8:31
I love Jim! Do it again. I double dare ya’!
bemused onlooker said,
January 24, 2010 at 8:31
what exactly is a clinical law ‘professor’ ?
A clinical law professor teaches in a legal clinic. Most American law schools have clinical programs aimed at helping law students to do real legal work and thus acquire understanding of the real world legal process. When I was a law student I worked for a legal clinic that gave non-profit legal aid to the elderly.
Teaching in a legal clinic often is a lateral career move for practicing attorneys who either have become completely fed up with practice or who have washed out in practice.
J Neo Marvin said,
January 24, 2010 at 10:43
Jim:
Fuckin’ A. That was beautiful.
“A rising tsunami lifts all yachts”, I must remember that one.
jim said,
January 24, 2010 at 19:53
Do it again. I double dare ya’!
Come, come now – only a childish lout would do something like that on a dare!
“Your comment will be visible after approval (by all the Godzilla-sized purple poodles & tiny flying pink snakes in PENISland).”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 25, 2010 at 2:45
You left a mark, he didn’t delete your second post!