May
23

The Dixie Chicks Are in Deep Shit




Posted at 5:49 by Brad

Uh-oh. The Dixie Chicks are in big trouble now. It seems that Pat Boone has decided to call them out:

boone.bmp

Music legend Pat Boone is ripping into the Dixie Chicks for withdrawing their apology for a previous attack on President Bush.

Hmm. I don’t think that copy is quite accurate. It should read, “Pat Boone, who is legendary for taking songs written by real musicians and making them suck, is ripping the Dixie Chicks for being 100% right about everything.”

“I have four daughters, and I taught them to respect their elders, even if they weren’t president of the United States,” Boone told Fox News host Neil Cavuto today.

Hey, since bin Laden is older than I am, does that mean I have to respect him too? I’m not sure I like the objectively pro-terror message you’re sending here, Mr. Boone.

“I think it’s outrageous for any of these performers to be bashing our president the way they are.”

And since P-Boo is so influential with today’s youth, all you anti-Bush performers had better heed his advice and knock it off if you want to work in this town again.

Boone, who is also a columnist for WorldNetDaily, says what seemed like a momentary misstep by Maines now begins to look like a flaw in her character.

“If I were the president of Iran, if I were Osama bin Laden or any of the terrorist organizers and I could have my wish list totally,” Boone said, “I couldn’t ask for anything better than for America’s entertainers to bash their president, denigrate him, make him seem like an idiot and a self-serving fool, and then have the media go along with it and promote it like crazy and try to undermine the whole war effort.”

Yeah, forget acquiring nuclear weapons- having hot country singers make fun of Bush is obviously #1 on the terrorists’ wish list.

He continued, “We are at war, and you don’t tell even a quarterback in a football game that he’s nuts and you don’t respect him.

Pat has obviously never heard of Terrell Owens.

You try to pull for a win, and that’s what we should be trying to do. … You can disagree. You can express your disagreement, but don’t attack the man who is your elected leader and say he’s not owed any respect at all.”

Uh-huh. Right:

While Bill Clinton was giving his farewell address to the American people Thursday night, hundreds of conservatives gathered in Washington, D.C., to offer their own farewell to the president – a mock funeral to mark “the death of the Clinton Administration.” [...]

Among those attending the mock funeral were a diverse group of conservative activists and luminaries, ranging from evangelist Jerry Falwell and Judge Robert Bork to entertainer Pat Boone and commentator Lucianne Goldberg. MRC officials said the sold-out event attracted more than 500 attendees, most of whom erupted in lengthy applause when Bozell remarked about his anticipation of Clinton “getting the hell out of the White House.”

Also eulogizing the Clinton Administration was author and former White House speech writer Christopher Buckley, who took note of the tractor trailers required to move the Clinton’s possessions and documents out of the White House. “I’m sure they’ll find an appropriate trailer park,” Buckley said.

92 Comments »

  1. Casper said,

    May 23, 2006 at 6:17

    The word P-Boo is offensive. Please stop using it.

  2. Sexy Sadie said,

    May 23, 2006 at 6:22

    So Pat Boone doesn’t think anyone should disrespect authority figures? Hmmmmm…no, nothing Orwellian about that.

    And you just KNOW the Dixie Chicks will be left quaking in their boots after P-Boo’s diatribe. I mean, who wouldn’t be? We’re talking about Pat Boone here!

  3. Random Guy said,

    May 23, 2006 at 6:34

    What a fucking hypocrite.

    (Yeah, I know. What else is new, and all that).

  4. John said,

    May 23, 2006 at 6:53

    Orange blazers offend me.

  5. DocAmazing said,

    May 23, 2006 at 6:59

    Wop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-wop-bam-boom.
    –Pat Boone

    You know, Pat Boone only gets into real trouble when he writes his own material. Next time he has to speak, he should ask Little Richard to write his oration.

  6. mt said,

    May 23, 2006 at 7:03

    With the blazer I mistook him for Don Shula.

  7. JK47 said,

    May 23, 2006 at 7:21

    I may actually be touring with the Chicks later this summer. An artist I play with is supposed to be opening a bunch of shows for them. I can’t say which artist because it hasn’t been officially announced yet, but it is extremely exciting for me. Natalie Maines, of course, rules. The shows are all at huge basketball arenas. Not a bad way to spend your summer.

    Plus, their keyboard player is legendary L.A. session musician Larry Knechtel, who played on “Pet Sounds” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and a ton of other classic recordings. He was a member of the Wrecking Crew, and those guys are like my ultimate heroes. I can’t wait to meet that guy.

  8. ghosts of infamous Sadly No Trolls of yore said,

    May 23, 2006 at 7:29

    The votes are in among the ghosts.
    Pat Boone: you rock! Dixie Chicks: You suck! The only artist giving Pat any competition in the late 50s was Elvis himself.

    The only artist to put out a truly inventive CD in the post-Nirvana slump of the late 90s was Pat Boone. That’s right, laugh if you want, but In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy was the only thing that came out that year that didn’t sound exactly like everything else. Risk taking during that era was becoming an extinct behavioral species.

    To those about to diss the Dixie Chicks, (namely, Pat Boone), we salute you! Why? Because you rock!

  9. anthony v. cuccia said,

    May 23, 2006 at 7:58

    So, Pat Boone is offended
    by those who would be so
    bold as to dis the Pres.
    Well, weren’t conservatives
    slamming President Clinton
    almost daily back in the
    late 1990s? What a hypocrite! Of course, that
    is when we still had a real president and a real
    republic. Now we have
    zilch. If things don’t improve soon Boone and the rest of us might be going to a real funeral to mourn the passing of what was once the United States of
    America (1776-200l).
    But I hope he doesn’t wear
    another dayglo orange jacket to the affair. Maybe he can get the leather outfit he wore a while back out of mothballs. It would be more appropriate attire.

  10. Major Woody said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:05

    Hear Hear, Mr. Boone!

    I was pleasantly surprised to see young Mr. Boone take the Dixie Chicks to task for their besmirching of our good President’s name. I had not expected such, seeing as he is a purveyor of the decadent “Rocking-Roll” music, which we all know is inspired by the caperings and rhythms of the colored folk. Perhaps he is not such an impudent chap after all.

    In my day, we entertainers knew how to jape at the foibles of our betters without crossing the line. We would crack wise at the doings of the Teapot Dome gang, but always respectfully. Of course, if we did otherwise, one of Boss Tweed’s boys was likely to take a candleabra to the piano player’s head, but that’s neither here nor there.

    I guess we should expect no less from the Dixie Chicks. In my day, no decent lady would deign to work in the entertainment field unless she were a ballerina or a soprano in a respectable opera. Still, I always preferred the dulcet tones of the Castrato, but I guess those fellows are becoming hard to find today as so few are willing to give their all to their art these days. I still remember when all the female roles were played by young men in women’s attire, and might I say, they could really be quite alluring, in a somewhat disturbing way!

  11. ¡El Gato Negro! said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:19

    Pat Boone’s version of “Crazy Train” gave me a hairball the size of a goat.

    so.

  12. Roland said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:28

    Actually, I came here to post In a Metal Mood, which contains the aforementioned Crazy Train.

  13. Pastor Maker said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:29

    I think The Dixie Chicks SHOULD be worried about provoking Pat Boone. On moonless nights Boone’s hairpiece joins the hairpieces of other wingnuts,like Benny Hinn, to seek vengeance on Lefties by leaving strands of themselves on soap,in meals, and on toiletseats.

  14. Thess said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:47

    I never knew Pat Boone was such a football fan. Great analogy there about the quarterback.

    Y’see, I’m a Bears fan so I know all about crappy quarterbacks. And Pat’s right, you don’t sass back to the quarterback when it becomes clear that he’s not able to lead the team. You don’t question his game management or his play calling.

    You BENCH him.

    So I’m assuming that Pat’s next column will be calling for Bush’s impeachment. Unless he’s as much an imbecile about football as he seems to be about politics.

  15. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 8:58

    The Ditsy Chicks Ditty
    (We Forgive you…Not)
    words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006

    don’t you worry, Ditsy Chicks
    we forgive your bashin’ blitz
    we forgive those words you said
    no, I take that back
    we’ll hold a grudge instead

    chorus:
    we forgive you
    no, scratch that, please
    ‘cause even if you got
    down on your knees
    your sorry don’t mean much to me
    and we don’t need
    your lame apologies

    you are quite the Ditsy Chicks
    when you mention politics
    so please, don’t speak
    just sing and play
    no, better yet
    please just go away
    (chorus)

    Pat, we hear your hue and cry
    seems that we see eye to eye
    But you’ve got to let it go!
    On second thought
    I hope this grudge will grow
    (chorus)

  16. JK47 said,

    May 23, 2006 at 9:11

    Quarterback, my ass. Bush was a fucking CHEERLEADER.

  17. D. Sidhe said,

    May 23, 2006 at 9:13

    Oh, okay. I thought Pat was saying you shouldn’t taunt a quarterback during wartime. I couldn’t figure out how that tied in.

    And Major Woody, I got as far as “jape at the foibles” before I realized you weren’t Gary. Well done, sir.

  18. Matt T. said,

    May 23, 2006 at 9:47

    That’s right, laugh if you want, but In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy was the only thing that came out that year that didn’t sound exactly like everything else.

    Well, that’s because it sounded like worn-out old white man taking the piss out of a form of music he didn’t, couldn’t understand…which pretty much sums up Boone’s ’50s “rock & roll” output. Pat didn’t give the King any competition; more like he’s the true “anti-Elvis” that Mojo Nixon sang of. A white man who completely missed the joy, passion and lust for life found in rhythm & blues and, for that matter, country music. Elvis sang with soul and heart; Boone, quite simply, is incapable of doing either. Hell, he wouldn’t have had any career to speak of if not for ripping off black artists, ripping off pop vocalists and hooking up with Red Sovine’s daughter.

    Pat Boone is and has always been the “Wonder Bread” of popular music. Bland, inoffensive, unthreatening, dull. He’s like the Avatar of Honkiness.

  19. almostinfamous said,

    May 23, 2006 at 9:55

    Boone, who is also a columnist for WorldNetDaily
    so he’s a crappy musician and a crappy writer and also completely insane? i guess the wingnut-rock-n-rollers have a new idol.

  20. Mudge said,

    May 23, 2006 at 12:59

    And isn’t that Little Ricky in the background?

    I think it is hilarious that the best they can do is resuscitate Pat Boone for their photo-op. Talk about credibility with…anyone?…They should have at least gotten Ted Nugent. Not sure what other musicians share their “values” though.

  21. Charley Daniels said,

    May 23, 2006 at 13:14

    I do!!

    Oh, wait. you said “musicians”, not “has-been, country asswipes with eponymous bands whose last hit song (about Satanic Fiddlers!) stopped providing royalty revenue twenty years ago, and who now have to shill for the Bush regime on Right-wing websites.”

    My Bad.

  22. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 13:36

    “….ripping off black artists, ripping off pop vocalists and hooking up with Red Sovine’s daughter.”

    On the contrary, Pat Boone did African-American artists a huge favor by taking music that a huge segment of American youth were not ready for, and making it more palatable. Thus, he introduced African-American music through a process of incrementalism that eventually gave blacks a much more diverse audience. Pat Boone did for American youth culture in the 50s what Elvis Costello did for American youth culture in the 80s: He helped a vast segment of youth culture to accept a genre of music they were not ready to accept in a more hard-core, less palatable form. His influence on American culture has been nothing short of profound.

  23. Ken Houghton said,

    May 23, 2006 at 14:14

    Mitch Markowitz:
    (via Robin Williams: “The man is a beautiful genius.”

    Forest Whitaker: “No. Things are NOT alright. The man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius if things are alright.”)

  24. Chris said,

    May 23, 2006 at 14:40

    You’re right ghosts, 1997′s best CD was clearly Pat Boone’s MetalMania or whatever, and definitely not OK Computer.

  25. Res Publica said,

    May 23, 2006 at 14:47

    Ack! My eyes! What is he WEARING? It looks like his clothes are on fire!

  26. TritoneSubstitution said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:01

    It’s such a treat to read BLT as he expounds on all things musical. Sure his music is mostly tired and built on diatonic triads and rarely even accidently does his use of harmony extend beyond the seventh. But it has that smoky complexity that one usually can only find in a Thompson Twins recording. Seriously, you’re not even entertaining enough to be a good clown. You’re just clown shoes.

  27. Marc with a C said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:41

    Right, right. Because by taking “wild and crazy” rock-n-roll music, toning it down and whitening it up so that it could play on white radio stations and make it more palatable for Mrs. Cleaver-types was actually a huge favor for black artists. I’m sure various artists like Little Richard hated having to write and perform their own songs and were secretly glad they had noble philanthropists like Pat to take their music, improve it, rerecord it, and have it get played on much more widely-heard radio stations.

    If anything, Pat Boone did a favor for racist southern white people: by exposing them at an early age to suitably censored and edited black music, he gave them enough of a working knowledge of black culture so that when the Dixiecrat party imploded in the late 60s and the whole civil rights thing got moving, the would at least be able to pass themselves off as cool in mixed company.

    (Say there, Mr. Poitier, have you heard that song called “Tutti Frutti” by Pat Boo-erm, that one black fellow who’s name I can’t quite recall? I must say, it is quite the little jingle now, isn’t it?)

  28. Marc with a C said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:42

    Right, right. Because by taking “wild and crazy” rock-n-roll music, toning it down and whitening it up so that it could play on white radio stations and make it more palatable for Mrs. Cleaver-types was actually a huge favor for black artists. I’m sure various artists like Little Richard hated having to write and perform their own songs and were secretly glad they had noble philanthropists like Pat to take their music, improve it, rerecord it, and have it get played on much more widely-heard radio stations.

    If anything, Pat Boone did a favor for racist southern white people: by exposing them at an early age to suitably censored and edited black music, he gave them enough of a working knowledge of black culture so that when the Dixiecrat party imploded in the late 60s and the whole civil rights thing got moving, the would at least be able to pass themselves off as cool in mixed company.

    (Say there, Mr. Poitier, have you heard that song called “Tutti Frutti” by Pat Boo-erm, that one black fellow who’s name I can’t quite recall? I must say, it is quite the little jingle now, isn’t it?)

  29. Anne said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:43

    I’m afraid you’ve confused Pat Boone with Elvis, BLT. Try and watch that. (And I’d watch the use of “more palatable,” too.) While Elvis and Boone both took black music and introduced it to white people, the difference is that Elvis had talent and Pat Boone was simply being exploitative and shitty.

    make him seem like an idiot and a self-serving fool

    Fuck, he’s doing that on his own.

  30. Anne said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:45

    I’m afraid you’ve confused Pat Boone with Elvis, BLT. Try and watch that. (And I’d watch the use of “more palatable,” too.) While Elvis and Boone both took black music and introduced it to white people, the difference is that Elvis had talent and Pat Boone was simply being exploitative and shitty.

    make him seem like an idiot and a self-serving fool

    Fuck, he’s doing that on his own.

  31. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:57

    Without clown shoes, there would be a lot of clowns out there stubbing their toes. If the shoe fits, (and I don’t mind trying it on), I’ll wear it (both of them in this case), and I’ll wear them proudly, treading here every once in a while, where angels fear to tread and wingnuts end up dead.

  32. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 15:59

    Without clown shoes, there would be a lot of clowns out there stubbing their toes. If the shoe fits, (and I don’t mind trying it on), I’ll wear it (both of them in this case), and I’ll wear them proudly, treading here every once in a while, where angels fear to tread and “wingnuts” end up dead.

  33. Ginger Yellow said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:02

    Pat Boone, America’s Kilroy.

  34. Chadwick said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:06

    where… …wingnuts end up dead.

    Well, that rules out Iraq.

  35. g said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:11

    Actually, Dr. BLT, Boone made the music of African Americans palatable for the PARENTS of American white kids.

    The kids were already grooving to Little Richard and Big Joe Turner.

  36. Ryan said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:13

    The kids weren’t the ones afraid of black entertainers. The racist radio owners, parents, and other adults were. Pat Boone is a tool for exploiting black music back then just like he’s a tool now for being exploited by corrupt ideologues.

  37. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:14

    The double post (above) was an accident, but if I were all of you, I would consider it a bargain.

  38. TritoneSubstitution said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:20

    You know what BLT? I apologize for my earlier nasty comments. You do take criticism with good humor and I think that’s laudable. Of course your opinion on nearly any subject is wrong and usually ridiculous, hence the ridicule. There are some conservative arguments that are at least defensible, why not pick one of those so that you might take part in a serious discussion? And then have that discussion somewhere else, ’cause this site is about teh funny.

  39. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 16:22

    It doesn’t matter where the fear was coming from, Ryan. Pat Boone helped to reduce it. Some of the black artists he covered ended up debuting on the charts immediately following his release of their song, because his covers sparked curiousity about the original artists. I learned that from Pat Boone himself, in case you are one of the few among the cognoscente that didn’t read my interview with him. But if you don’t trust the milk-drinking Pat Boone, feel free to check out the statistics in the Billboard archives.

  40. DocAmazing said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:06

    You learned that from p.boone himself? Now there’s an objective party! I have not one, but two interviews with Little Richard (one when he was the Reverend Richard Penniman) expressing a great deal of anger. Seems he felt ripped off. Why might that be, doctor?

  41. tigrismus said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:09

    Metal Mood was a cover album, so if it “didn’t sound like everything else” that’s a bug, not a feature.

  42. Dreamweasel said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:11

    Yeah, I’m not sure it’s entirely objective when Pat Boone is the one patting himself on the back for helping break down racial boundaries. I concur with the opinion that he has probably confused himself with Elvis.

  43. aaron said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:37

    I see stupid clown is back. Dance, clown, dance.

  44. Vestal Vespa said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:44

    Why should the sexy, successful Dixie Chicks give a crap what Pat Boone thinks about them? It’s like getting reprimanded by your grandpa for wearing a too-short skirt and listening to that rock and roll music.

    If they greet this with anything but bemused disinterest, I’d be pretty surprised.

  45. Gary said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:46

    O/T: What’s Little Ricky going to do after he loses to the election? I predict he’ll become a shill for the right wing of the Republican Party. But wait, he does that already. I guess it’s just a matter of shifting where his paycheck comes from.

  46. Dr. BLT said,

    May 23, 2006 at 17:46

    Remember, I’m not an entire clown, just the shoes.

    Seems he felt ripped off. Why might that be, doctor?

    Where can I find your interview, DocAmazing? I’d have to look at his comments and the corresponding sentiment he expressed in context of the interview to adequately answer your question. But I’ve got to leave the building for a few hours, so it may be awhile before I’m able to get back to you.

    Thank you to all of you for being so restrained. Has this become a kindler, gentler Sadly, No!? I hope the answer is not, “Sadly, No!”

  47. mikey said,

    May 23, 2006 at 18:26

    Wow. Pat Boone is still alive? Who’da guessed? But other than his alive-ness, just exactly what standing has P Boo got that allows his opinion of the Chix to carry any more weight than say, mine? He’s an old, washed-up, pickled, leather-skinned ex performer about fifty years past his heyday, such as it might have been. Along with the senior dementia and the long-term effects of excessive alcohol consumption, his opinions don’t seem very important to me.

    Just Sayin’

    mikey

  48. ortho_bob said,

    May 23, 2006 at 18:49

    Pat Boone? More like Bat Poon. Am I right, ladies?

  49. Hysterical Woman said,

    May 23, 2006 at 19:09

    Saddam Hussein is also my elder. Should I respect him? And what if I’m older than Bush? Should I not respect him than?

  50. JiunNoon said,

    May 23, 2006 at 19:27

    if I were Osama bin Laden or any of the terrorist organizers and I could have my wish list totally,” Boone said, “I couldn’t ask for anything better than for America’s entertainers to bash their president, denigrate him, make him seem like an idiot and a self-serving fool, and then have the media go along with it and promote it like crazy and try to undermine the whole war effort.”

    This, of course, being closely followed by having the president reneg on his promise to hunt them down and instead spend time taking out an unrelated, heathen despot.

  51. Mumon said,

    May 23, 2006 at 20:07

    Anybody who can afford an orange sport jacket who is not employed at a movie theater can’t be taken seriously.

  52. Roxanne said,

    May 23, 2006 at 20:22

    Speaking of Pat Boone, whatever happened to Anita Bryant?

  53. yagi said,

    May 23, 2006 at 21:16

    Two words for you, ghost:

    OK Computer

  54. Anne said,

    May 23, 2006 at 21:53

    Pat Boone helped to reduce it.

    …After Pat Boone had cynically made money off racism.

  55. synykyl said,

    May 23, 2006 at 22:16

    I’d say Pat Boone is a useless old twit, but I don’t want to disrespect my elders. However, I think it’s fair to mention that my mother thinks he’s a useless *young* twit.

  56. IB said,

    May 23, 2006 at 23:10

    “The only artist to put out a truly inventive CD in the post-Nirvana slump of the late 90s was Pat Boone.”

    Odelay?

  57. Bill S said,

    May 23, 2006 at 23:36

    Excuse me for nit-picking, Matt T., but Pat Boone’s father-in-law wasn’t Red Sovine. It was RED FOLEY, a major country music star of the 40′s and ’50′s. He had a total of 65 hits on the country charts, from 1944 to his death in 1968.

  58. Bill S said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:39

    “Some of the black artists he covered ended up debuting on the charts imediately follwing his release of their song, because his covers sparked curiousity about the original artists…But if you don’t trust the milk-drinking Pat Boone, feel free to check out the statistics in the Billboard archives.”
    Okay, I will. Here’s a rundown of covered Boone hits/originals, with the date they entered the charts next to each:

    “Tutti-Frutti”
    Little Richard version-1/14/56
    Pat Boone version-1/28/56

    “Long Tall Sally”
    Little Richard version-4/7/56
    Boone version-4/14/56

    “At My Front Door (Crazy Little Mama)”
    El Dorados version-10/15/55
    Boone verion-10/29/55

    “I’m Waiting Just For You”
    Lucky Millinder version-7/28/51
    Boone version-3/16/57

    “I Almost Lost My Mind”
    Ivory Joe Hunter-1/7/50 (R&B Chart, #1 for 5 weeks)
    Nat “King” Cole version-4/1/50
    Boone version-6/2/56

    “Chains of Love”
    Joe Turner-6/30/51 (R&B Chart, reported million seller)
    Boone version-9/15/56

    “It’s Too Soon To Know”
    Orioles version-11/6/48 (Pop), 9/11/48 (R&B, #1)
    Boone version-2/17/48

    “Ain’t That A Shame”
    Fats Domino version-7/16/55 (Pop), 5/14/55 (R&B, #1 for 11 weeks, beginning 6/11)
    Boone version-7/9/55

  59. Batocchio said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:41

    Great post! I think I laughed the most at:

    “Yeah, forget acquiring nuclear weapons- having hot country singers make fun of Bush is obviously #1 on the terrorists’ wish list.”

  60. Bill S said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:41

    Correction: The Boone version of “Too Soon To Know” came out in 1958-10 years after it had been a hit.

  61. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:42

    Okay, so there was Beck, and Radiohead, I’ll give you that. But you can count the truly unique mid-late 90s CDs on one hand, and Pat Boone’s is among them. Even if you argue that his top college radio hit album was a disaster (which it wasn’t), you must give him props for experimenting. Without musical experimentation, rock would be dead—wholly bereft of energy and vitality.

    Check the billboard stats. You’ll see. African-American artists benefitted big time from Pat Boone’s R&B incrementalism.

    I must also add that my recent interview with Pat Boone revealed that there is not a racist bone in his body. On the contrary, he went out of his way to reveal his sense of indebtedness to African-American artists. Moreover, though he was deservedly proud of his accomplishments over the past 50 years, he was extremely nice and exceedingly humble for a multi-media superstar with chart dominance during his heyday rivaled only by the king of rock ‘n roll (who, incidently, always spoke highly of Pat Boone).

  62. ghosts of infamous Sadly No Trolls of yore said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:45

    There’s one redeeming quality about “clown shoes.” They may look a little funny, but their big enough to kick some serious ass!

  63. ghosts of infamous Sadly No Trolls of yore said,

    May 24, 2006 at 0:48

    Ghastly, ghostly typo above. Should read “they’re,” not “their.”

  64. Anne said,

    May 24, 2006 at 1:04

    Well, you’ve convinced me that Pat Boone is merely a kindly philanthropist acting in the best interest of the African diaspora and not a talentless hack who saw some chances for a quick buck. Well done.

  65. Trashman said,

    May 24, 2006 at 1:11

    Sorry but the dixie chicks are not hot.

  66. Bill S said,

    May 24, 2006 at 1:18

    Well, Trashman, we all have our own ideas of “hot”. Personally, I think Natalie’s husband, Adrian Pasdar, is hecka FINE.

  67. IB said,

    May 24, 2006 at 1:33

    “Check the billboard stats. You’ll see. African-American artists benefitted big time from Pat Boone’s R&B incrementalism.”

    Hm, well, they’re right there above your post and I don’t see a lot of evidence for your stance.

    In any case, I feel like you’re overstating the badness of the late 90s. Beyond Beck and Radiohead, there are great albums by Momus, Sleater-Kinney, Elliot Smith, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, Tom Waits, etc.

    It wasn’t all boy bands and rap-metal.

  68. Dr PHD the Bonghuffer said,

    May 24, 2006 at 2:33

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!1!

    He’s baaaaaccckk!!

  69. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 6:18

    BACK WITH A VENGENCE MY PH.D. PAL!
    Get it on! Bang a gong!

    And props to you, IB. We must look for the good in every decade, and we must look for the good in every artist. I, for one, thought there was kind of a vulnerable, if bombastic, charm in Vanilla’s Ice’s performance of Ice, Ice, Baby. I must give David Bowie a few props to, for without him and his hyponic hook, the song would never have made it as far as it did.

    Now, for those of you (all two of you) who have been chomping at the bit, frantically googling in “The Ditsy Chicks Ditty,” please, hold your horses. I appreciate your Beatle-fanesque anticipatory zeal, but it hasn’t been released, not yet, anyway. Only the lyrics, above, are available at this time. I apologize profusely. No, on second thought, I take back my apology.

  70. fiver said,

    May 24, 2006 at 6:24

    Dude, David Bowie doesn’t just deserve a few props. He deserves all the props in the whole entire world. He’s just that awesome.

    Pat Boone, on the other hand, is just terrifying.

  71. Dr LGF said,

    May 24, 2006 at 6:35

    I’ll wait for the Pat Boone Sings Jandek triple CD before I comment.

  72. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 8:11

    “Dude, David Bowie doesn’t just deserve a few props. He deserves all the props in the whole entire world. He’s just that awesome.”

    I know, dude, I won’t argue with you there. I was simply applying a little bit of minimalistic sarcasm. Davie Bowie is, without a doubt, one of the great creative forces of all time.

    “Pat Boone, on the other hand, is just terrifying.”

    I wouldn’t place Pat in the same league as David Bowie, but “terrifying?” Now that’s a little harsh.

  73. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 8:49

    Okay, I won’t tease you any longer. Say the song sucks. Say it’s the worst song ever written. Just cut and paste the link, and don’t say I never offered it to you first, right here at Sadly, No!

    Ditsy Chicks Ditty
    words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
    http://www.drblt.com/music/ditsychicks.mp3

  74. Eva Whitley said,

    May 24, 2006 at 12:51

    And, of course, he’s *such* a good father, never mind that at least one of his daughters developed an eating disorder. I’d rather have a daughter who thinks for herself rather than try to starve herself.

  75. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 15:19

    Oh, I get it, Eva. When the notion that Pat Boone was an albatross to African-American artists is challenged, and the alternative view that he was actually a boon, is raised as a plausible alternative, it’s now time to dig up his personal life and the personal lives of family members. It sounds like you’re simultaneously grasping at straws, hitting below the belt, and scraping the bottom of the barrel. Well, I must admit, you are certainly a deft multi-task artist. Why not just admit that Pat Boone rocks your world?

    Furthermore, with all due respect, you’ve proposed the notion that the opposite of an eating disorder is thinking for oneself. I’m not going to pull the shrink card out on you, but common sense alone suggests that eating disorders are much more complex than this.

    It’s not just a matter of having a bad father and not thinking for oneself. In fact, research shows that there may be a physiological basis for the development of such a disorder. Not all cases follow the same etiological course, and not all cases have the same corresponding contributing factors or antecedents.

  76. Forrest said,

    May 24, 2006 at 15:58

    Undermine the war effort? Damn right we will, with every atom of our strength. It boggles the mind that there’s a fool as monumental as Bush, but Pat Boone seems to have proved it.

    BTW, Terrell Owens was a wide receiver, not a quarterback. Just a point of accuracy, y’know.

  77. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 17:07

    Every citizen has the right to disagree with the war, and with the current administration. Free speech is one of our greatest assets as citizens of the United States. All I ask it that you do it with class and dignity and sound reasonably intelligent— don’t simply go around half-cocked and ill-informed, taking cheap pot shots at the President just because you’re the Dixie Chicks. It just makes the Dixie Chicks simply sound like Ditsy Chicks.

    Though I’m not really into their style, they are talented, I’ll give them that. But their talent, as far as I can see, begins and ends with music.

  78. Major Woody said,

    May 24, 2006 at 17:46

    Now, for those of you (all two of you) who have been chomping at the bit, frantically googling in “The Ditsy Chicks Ditty,” please, hold your horses.
    Posted by: Dr. BLT | May 24, 2006 06:18 AM

    OK, this has gone far enough now. Please stop impersonating Dr. BLT and trying to make him look ridiculous. I know he knows better than to type the above abomination instead of the correct phraseology, champing at the bit. Ye gads!

  79. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 19:13

    Minutia, minutia, minutia! Nevertheless, I’ll proudly claim my word usage, Major Woody. But please don’t get me wrong. I’ve always known that you had my back and that you were secretly in my corner.

    My dictionary says that “chomp” is an acceptable variant of “champ.” But even if it were not, where I come from, many of us are missing teeth, live in trailer parks, and have mothers who also happen to be our first and second cousins, so you must take that cultural difference into consideration. Basically, I’m just Canadian white trash with an education. Do you have a problem with that, champ?

  80. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 19:16

    Yes, the above entry was made by me, Dr. BLT, at least the self-defacing side of me. It’s all part of my scorched earth troll survival policy.

  81. wilhelm said,

    May 24, 2006 at 20:09

    You guys (all 2) are f’ing nuts! Pat Boone’s “metal album” was not inventive. Covering a bunch of metal songs like a lame-ass lounge singer is not ineventive, it is hella-lame! By your reasoning, the dude form American Idol with a cheese factor of +10 trumps P-Boo. Get an f’ing clue!

  82. wilhelm said,

    May 24, 2006 at 20:11

    Oh, and by the way, how many nine volt batteries does that douchebag’s jacket take?!

  83. Dr. BLT said,

    May 24, 2006 at 20:44

    Wilhelm, I assume you’re asking because yours takes too many and the batteries keep running low. Mine actually doesn’t take any. It’s solar-powered. So, I suppose your next question will be: How much does it cost?

    For you, and you only, it’s free of charge. Get it? Free of charge? My cousin (or is it my mom?) is laughing, so I guess I must have said something pretty funny.

  84. Dr. BLT said,

    May 25, 2006 at 16:39

    I have two pronouncements to make:

    1. Natalie Maines is the official winne of:

    American, Idle (Natalie Maines vs. Michael Moore)
    words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
    http://www.drblt.com/music/american.mp3

    and

    2. SInce I seem to be the last man officially standing, this thread is now officially dead.

  85. Bill S said,

    May 25, 2006 at 22:21

    No.
    I’m still standing better than I ever did
    looking like true survivor, feeling like a little kid.
    NOW, it’s over.

  86. Dr. BLT said,

    May 25, 2006 at 22:40

    It ain’t over. I still don’t hear the fat lady sing. Elton John doesn’t count as a fat lady.

  87. Bill S said,

    May 27, 2006 at 0:42

    “And…I…am…TELLING YOU I’M NOT G-O-O-O-ING!!!!!”

  88. Marq said,

    May 27, 2006 at 7:32

    Really, Doc, posts here can keep going for ages! there’s a thread from last year sometime (I;m not making it any easier to find than that) that is about to hit 900 comments. Though it’s not the official title, we refer to it as “The Long Threadâ„¢.” This is nothin’.

  89. Marq said,

    May 27, 2006 at 7:33

    A “Preview” box for comments is only as useful as it is used.

  90. dixie chicks are really men said,

    March 6, 2007 at 9:51

    the dixie chicks are terrorists… they bash our president for going into a country filled with diseased animals that are ruining our planet. if the dixie whores are so concerned about living in texas with the president, why dont they move their sell-out asses to the middle east where they belong.

    DIXIE CHICKS ARE LOSERS. DIXIE CHICKS ARE TERRORISTS. DIXIE CHICKS ARE SELL-OUTS TO THEIR COUNTRY. DIXIE CHICKS ARE MUSLIMS. DIXIE CHICKS SUCK MULE PUS. DIXIE CHICKS SHOULD BE HANGED ON NATIONAL TV FOR PUTTING DOWN THEIR PRESIDENT AND COUNTRY. DIXIE CHICKS SHOULD BE GANG RAPED BY THE MUSLIM TERRORISTS THEY SUPPORT. DIXIE CHICKS CANT EVEN SING. BOYCOTT THE DIXIE CHICKS!!!

  91. Bonnie said,

    March 6, 2007 at 18:15

    I am a supporter for the Dixie Chicks this is suppose to be land of the free and freedom of speech after all. Lets face the facts President Bush went to war for his own personal gain or should I say that of his fathers for he failed his mission. Also fact Bush wasnt really elected money speaks loudly here, for you see the ballots were counted wrong people in florida were not allowed to vote so tell me how fair is that NOT. The Dixie Chicks said what was on a lot of peoples minds already The war is one where we are losing a lot of our good men and they still haven’t gotten Bin laden why because bush really wasn’t after him. I support our troops and pray for their safe return to their families but I despise bush for killing our men and woman over there. Dixie Chicks keep on singing we love you too

  92. Michael said,

    March 6, 2007 at 21:36

    The irony of the whole Dixie Chicks flap is that they were right. They were right, the French were right, the Germans were right; lots of people were right, but not enough spoke out.

    If a few more people in this country had, we would not be in our current situation. Their behavior teaches one to question your leaders, educate yourself on the issues of the day and speak up. It is behavior to be held in esteem, not contempt.

    The Dixie Chicks never owed anyone an apology. The president still does.
    ,

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