21
Tonight all is right with the world
Finnish monsters win 51st Eurovision Song Contest
By Christine Pirovolakis May 21, 2006, 2:09 GMT
Athens – First they shocked many of their countrymen with gruesome masks, jets of flame and a chain-wielding singer – then controversial Finnish hard-rock band Lordi went on to win one of the world’s biggest music contests.
Not only Finnish, but from Lapland. And they won against a Russian (second-place winner Dima Bilan). Oh yes, this is quite an upset on so many levels. If you think there might be some drinking and exuberance going on tonight in Rovaniemi, Alta, and other northern locales, you are certainly correct.
Folks, this is Denmark’s Sidsel Ben Semmane — a typical Eurovision ‘06 entry:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, witness the transcendental glory that is the awesome and/or atrocious Lappish killdozer, Lordi:
See, among other things, Gwar might’ve made up fake stories about being from Antarctica, but as the second-best metal band from Rovaniemi, these guys actually are from the Arctic Circle. Their claims about being undead space demons might therefore be true as well. And whatever the case, Eurovision ‘07 promises to be quite interesting indeed, with countries like Latvia or Romania reacting to the ‘06 results by fielding their own bombastic metal bands. Truly, good has won tonight.
Update: Finland gone mad, naked people running through streets of Helsinki, according to magenta-haired Finnish journalist:
Mal de mer said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:10
The hystrionics surrounding the Eurovision song contest make the whole spectacle God’s gift to inter-cultural relations.
…the Guardian editors seem most upset today.
Gavin M. said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:22
Histrionics?!
Listen buddy, what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
almostinfamous said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:28
um nokia?
belle waring said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:30
it’s like GWAR vs. usher. so righteous.
Mal de mer said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:33
Where I come from, we have French-speaking Finnish people.
The Finns have got it all.
marcj said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:44
Wow. I can’t believe I’ve never heard the term “arockalypse” (go to :35) before. These dudes are the ultimate Guitar Heroes.
JK47 said,
May 21, 2006 at 6:20
The only thing goofier than dressing up like a futuristic undead zombie is dressing up like a futuristic undead zombie and playing some keyboards.
Scaramouche said,
May 21, 2006 at 6:25
I guess I should be afraid when Europe has too many Islamic Babies…
Not happening in my life time!
Matt T. said,
May 21, 2006 at 6:44
They sorta remind me of Turbonegro. Sorta. And damn, if that tune don’t sound like a lost outtake from Spinal Tap’s seminal Shark Sandwich.
Brian said,
May 21, 2006 at 6:59
These guys have got nothing on gwar. Matter of fact, this made me sick. When in the hell did it become cool to have a pop band dress up like gwar and pretend to be heavy metal??? Sorry, but the expanding bat wings were the last straw…
mt said,
May 21, 2006 at 7:08
Is this more of that parody stuff?
Pinko Punko said,
May 21, 2006 at 7:11
Bri- you are forgetting that Euro-metal also encompasses Europe, Iron Maiden, Helloween and Scorpions. That’s a lot of cheeze.
We were joking about this at dinner- saying “oh, they’ll never win”- but since most people treat the contest as a joke, this might be the biggest prank in history. I mean it is like a concerted block of 25 million people agreeing to throw American Idol to the most annoying contestant. Ruining it for everyone else.
Gavin M. said,
May 21, 2006 at 7:26
When in the hell did it become cool to have a pop band dress up like gwar and pretend to be heavy metal??? Sorry, but the expanding bat wings were the last straw…
Oh, if the bat wings were the last straw, you missed the fireworks spraying from the guitars.
Brian said,
May 21, 2006 at 7:38
Guess I may have to finish the video after I clean up all of the puke. On second thoght, no. Don’t get me wrong, there are tons or great rock/metal/punk that came from europe and I’m glad someone pointed out the the euro’s consider this to be a joke of a competition. Is this like their star search? If so, where was ed mcmahon???
Brian said,
May 21, 2006 at 7:49
Damnit Beavis, this sucked…
birdseatbugs said,
May 21, 2006 at 8:07
I have to admit that I was disappointed that they sang in English. I mean, shouldn’t they be growling in Finnish?
Outside of that, they were decent. I also read the article about them that said a good portion of Finland was actually embarrassed to have Lordi going to Eurovision, so it’s kind of cool that they won.
BenA said,
May 21, 2006 at 8:15
Courtesy of Crooked Timber, here is an hour-long BBC radio show about the fifty-year long history of the Eurovision Song Contest.
Like all accounts of Eurovision (so far as I can tell) this one is dripping with irony (“television’s own kitsch Altamont”).
But I’ve always suspected that this is pseudo-irony, that at some level Eurovision fans actually like the peculiar, Abba-lite genre into which 90% of Eurovision songs fall, but understand that these songs are complete crap, so better use irony as a cover story.
birdseatbugs said,
May 21, 2006 at 8:19
Erm, that is, the Finns were thinking they -wouldn’t- win, or _hoping_ they wouldn’t, which is why it’s kinda nifty that they _did_ win. It was not kind of nifty that the country was embarrassed.
Obviously my internal editor has taken the night off to go drinking, too.
BenA said,
May 21, 2006 at 8:29
Don’t forget the Monty Python parody of Eurovision, “Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong”.
Actual Eurovision winners included Spain’s “La La La” (1968), UK’s “Boom Bang a Bang” (1969), and the Netherlands “Ding-A-Dong” (1975). These and all the other winners can be experienced here.
Gavin M. said,
May 21, 2006 at 8:32
Well, Lordi are considered hyper-camp in Finland, so most of the country was in on the joke. Whether the rest of Europe was, it’s harder to say.
annie said,
May 21, 2006 at 9:00
They also laughed at Dr. BLT, but look what he did recently with one of my ex-husband’s greatest hits:
Leavin’ on a Jet Plane
Dr. BLT’s dance mix
http://www.drblt.com/music/jetp.mp3
annie said,
May 21, 2006 at 9:23
I’m not really Annie, and John Denver is not really my husband. The was just the alcohol-free beer talking.
Some Guy said,
May 21, 2006 at 9:58
Abba-lite
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
Pastor Maker said,
May 21, 2006 at 11:55
An Australian singer represented Germany at this year’s Urinevision contest, since unlike Israel, Australians aren’t considered classy and european enough to compete under their own flag.
Back in 1974 or thereabouts, another Australian chick, Olivia Newton John, represented England.
Thlayli said,
May 21, 2006 at 13:11
If you think there might be some drinking and exuberance going on tonight in Rovaniemi, Alta, and other northern locales, you are certainly correct.
Correct on the drinking, but Finns don’t do “exuberance”.
elendil said,
May 21, 2006 at 13:33
Not that I would consider Lordi “metal”, but this truly is a happy day.
Chris Crowther said,
May 21, 2006 at 13:36
Of course the ultimate punishment for winning Eurovision is that the winning country has to host and pay for the next one.
elendil said,
May 21, 2006 at 13:41
When in the hell did it become cool to have a pop band dress up like gwar and pretend to be heavy metal??
Aw, c’mon it’s Eurovision after all. It’s not like they could fire up the accordian, raise the horns, and have Finntroll scream about killing Christians.
michael farris said,
May 21, 2006 at 14:25
I purely love Eurovision, a one of a kind, freaky, cheesy cultural phenomenon.
I love the bad songs, bad dancing and predictable bloc voting. The people that take it seriously are even more entertaining (there was an apparent riot when the Serbia/Montenegro choice was made leading to their withdrawal). IIRC this is Finland’s first victory (capping an impressive record of last place finishes some of which I really enjoyed).
Next year will either see novelty acts gone bezerk (one of the surest ways not to win is to copy the previous year’s winner) or a new post-irony stage and a return of earnest MOR values. Either would be memorable.
anthony said,
May 21, 2006 at 15:20
It’s quality stuff. You instantly feel like you’re somehow watching Eurovision from 20 years ago but now. It’s a hurdy gurdy world where serious never gains any traction and all certainties are erased.
Lithunia-cocky!
tigrismus said,
May 21, 2006 at 17:49
what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
Laika and the Cosmonauts.
celticgirl said,
May 21, 2006 at 18:29
What??11!! Not a single Father Ted reference? You people disappoint me…
michael farris said,
May 21, 2006 at 19:16
Okay, here’s a link to Father Ted’s Song for Europe, My Lovely Horse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYE-90d891g&search=my%20lovely%20horse
lyrics:
My lovely horse running through the field,
Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?
I want to shower you with sugarlumps,
And ride you over fences,
Polish your hooves every single day,
And bring you to the horse dentist,
My lovely horse,
You’re a pony no more,
Running around with a man on your back,
Like a train in the night,
Like a train in the night.
mikey said,
May 21, 2006 at 19:50
I mean it is like a concerted block of 25 million people agreeing to throw American Idol to the most annoying contestant. Ruining it for everyone else.
Now THATS a plan I would happily, gratefully participate in. And if we could truly wreck AI, it would be an accomplishment for the ages. Sign me up, PP!!
mikey
g said,
May 21, 2006 at 22:45
Oh, this is precious!! I loved the bat wings and the fireworks. And was the keyboard player female? Just curious. Must be tough signing through those rubber halloween masks.
This actually makes my day. I’m planning to watch “10.5: Apocalypse” tonight, having stumbled on the prequel broadcast as a teaser on NBC last night. It was such cheesy deliciousness I can’t wait for the new one. This is the one where the big earthquake splits the continent in half. Last night it just chased a train down the tracks, created a gian Toilet of Doom in the Colorado River, and broke off LA as an island.
Is annie really back?
Jeff said,
May 21, 2006 at 22:59
I haven’t even watched the video yet, but this sounds awful. I can’t wait.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 22, 2006 at 0:01
Bill Jefferson (Democrat-LA) was caught on film accepting $100,000 in bribes.
But, the Democrats will ignore that they are more corrupt than the GOP then they talk about a culture of corruption.
jpe said,
May 22, 2006 at 1:07
Listen buddy, what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
One of the best death metal scenes ever seen.
That’s why I don’t get the Finns’ freak-out about this. Compared to most Finn stuff, the Eurovision band was Abba.
Gavin M. said,
May 22, 2006 at 1:19
One of the best death metal scenes ever seen.
Exactly! And hardcore too (Riistetyt, Terveet Kadet, Rattus, etc). But we’re talking world stage here.
agym said,
May 22, 2006 at 1:22
Bill Jefferson (Democrat-LA)
Bill Jefferson is from Lapland?
Bring in Lordi to rockminister justice!
Mal de mer said,
May 22, 2006 at 1:31
*ouache*…This whole discussion is making me queasy. To cleanse the palate, so to speak.
Gavin M. said,
May 22, 2006 at 1:52
Okay Mal, that’s a super-awesome vid. Let’s compromise.
mt said,
May 22, 2006 at 2:13
This is video madness.
Brian said,
May 22, 2006 at 2:48
I heard that Bill Jefferson was the one that bribed eurovision allowing lordi to take home the prize. Or at least that’s what fox news was reporting this morning. Journalism at its finest…they reported that lordi was gonna get a record deal in Louisiana and play on ray negin’s float at next years mardi gras.
agum said,
May 22, 2006 at 3:08
Lordi is not “brought in”.
Lordi is summoned.
B. Head said,
May 22, 2006 at 3:09
Look, it’s Krokus coming to kick their ass!
JeremÃas said,
May 22, 2006 at 3:10
What do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
Every year Finland hosts the Air Guitar World Championships.
floopmeister said,
May 22, 2006 at 3:17
More video madness…
jexter said,
May 22, 2006 at 3:55
Oh my god, that’s my dad!
Söisin mieluummin salmiakkia, papa! Paljonko maksaisi gramma heroiinia?
Otto Man said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:02
I haven’t felt this way about a song since “Funkytown.”
SJ said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:05
I don’t know – when the wings unfolded the first thing that came to my mind was —- Spinal Tap
Doodle Bean said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:07
Well, at least the expanding bat wings explain the enormous platform boots. Or maybe it’s the enormous platform boots which explain the expanding bat wings. One of the many questions of nature!
jexter said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:10
Everyone in our family is short. We wear platform boots so we can see over the counter at the drugstore.
The Liberal Avenger said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:21
Here’s why the UK lost:
[YouTube Link]
Enoch Root said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:27
what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
Wimme.
Ron Mexico said,
May 22, 2006 at 4:39
What, no keytar?
david said,
May 22, 2006 at 5:00
I have a feeling that my next Man-O-War fanletter is gonna have some nasty things to say about the false metal scene in Finland.
elendil said,
May 22, 2006 at 5:09
Man-o-war, yeah!
Brothers I am calling from the valley of the kings
with nothing to atone
A darkness lies ahead, together we will ride
like thunder from the sky
May your sword stay wet like a young girl in her prime
Hold your hammers high
Hail, Hail, Hail and Kill!
Classy.
thehim said,
May 22, 2006 at 5:14
I love Finland.
Gary Ruptured said,
May 22, 2006 at 5:44
The William Jefferson bribe PROVES that the Democrats are much more evil and corrupt than those Abramoff/DeLay/Cunningham dudes. Look it up.
Dr. Squid said,
May 22, 2006 at 5:57
Sweet monkeyed crap, that UK entry was awful.
Looking forward to Behemoth being the Poland entry next year.
Tread said,
May 22, 2006 at 6:05
there was an apparent riot when the Serbia/Montenegro choice was made leading to their withdrawal
That’s wrong, but a good try. Serbia and Montenegro withdrew because Montenegran judges pulled a pre-referendum coup and voted in the worst of the worst (a boy band by the name of No Name) and the fans in the audience wouldn’t stand for the judges who wanted to play politics.
That said, most of what happens during the Eurovision voting is almost purely politics and people voting for their neighbors. It is nice to see, though, the former Yugoslav countries voting for each other instead of wanting to kill each other.
jmcq said,
May 22, 2006 at 6:07
What else do the Finns have? Good Lordi, people, have you never heard of Apocalyptica? Originally a four-cello band which got together at the Sibelius Academy — somewhere along the way they dropped a cellist and added a drummer — they created the landmark album of Metallica covers, “Apocalyptica Plays Metallica by Four Cellos.” So quaintly European in its weak grasp of English grammar, yet so completely rockin’.
For sheer genius, it’s equalled only by the Estonian group Rondellus and their album “Sabbatum,” a compilation of early-music Black Sabbath covers sung in Latin.
Tao said,
May 22, 2006 at 6:12
It’s like Army of Darkness meets KISS. Except someone said “necktie”
instead of “nicto”.
zerohundred said,
May 22, 2006 at 6:26
You forgot the importance of this contest…
This is the 51st contest and…”The competition has served as a stepping stone for Sweden’s ABBA, which won in 1974 with Waterloo, and Canada’s Celine Dion, who won for Switzerland in 1988.”
SammyG said,
May 22, 2006 at 6:42
Lordi actually is heavily influenced by the Evil Dead movies – Their website is based around a copy of the Evil Dead house.
elendil said,
May 22, 2006 at 7:07
jmcq, Apocalyptica are great. The Metallica covers are fun, but they did well on their own with Cult too. If you like that kind of classical meets metal sound, check out Dark Lunacy (Dolls is good) and Tvangeste (I recommend Under the Black Raven’s Wings and Storm). Tvangeste have the Baltic Symphonic Orchestra playing with them.
Ole said,
May 22, 2006 at 9:24
Finland is also home og HUMPPA! The name of the band is Eläkeläiset … rather weird, but great fun.
http://www.humppa.com
zen_less said,
May 22, 2006 at 9:45
I wonder if exposure to too little sunlight has caused that strange skin condition they all have. They seem like nice boys, and the love of a good woman will fix them up just fine, I’m sure.
Brendan said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:19
“Abba-lite genre into which 90% of Eurovision songs fall”
Isn’t ‘Abba-lite’ like, redundant?
finnsense said,
May 22, 2006 at 13:12
“what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?”
Nokia, the Rasmus, HIM, Janne Ahonen (ski-jumper), a silver medal in the Olympics for ice-hockey,
eduT said,
May 22, 2006 at 13:46
is it just me that can’t stop thinking of Billy and the Boingers ?
J. said,
May 22, 2006 at 14:19
Rightious, man. Heavy Metal still lives! Sweet.
ironranger said,
May 22, 2006 at 14:50
Other Finnish entertainment:
The Shouting Finns shout out national anthems (The Star Spangled Banner for one) huutajat.org
nokiantires.com (the only cold weather tire testing) has amusing tv ads and audio in the media link
Old Fart!!! said,
May 22, 2006 at 14:51
“Isn’t ‘Abba-lite’ like, redundant?”
Oh no, there’s Abba-heavy as well. Like “The Winner Takes It All”, in which Bjorn, who’s just divorced Agnetha, writes a lyric about a woman who’s just been abandoned by her man, and feels sexually and emotionally destroyed- and gives it Agnetha to sing. The song is then released as single, and becomes one of Abba’s biggest hits. :)
J Johnson said,
May 22, 2006 at 16:16
I love it! When I heard Lordi was going to the ESC, I was pumped, but for them to actually win? Finland winning the ESC with Lordi is so rich, I need insulin.
Ginger Yellow said,
May 22, 2006 at 17:20
What’s bad about being embarrassed by your Eurovision entry? If I actually cared about the contest other than as a promising parade of silliness tediously presented by Terry Wogan, I’d have been embarrassed by just about all of Britain’s entries in my lifetime.
suezboo said,
May 22, 2006 at 21:22
I recall Puppet on a String by Sandie Shaw as a British winner. Just shows.
The best entertainment ever IMO was the time it was held in Dublin and the interval was River Dance – at that time newly created, so amazing.
hellis said,
May 22, 2006 at 21:42
Oh my god. I mean, I would have preferred Finntroll, but I’ll take what I can get. I love the bat wings and flame-spewing guitars, and I cannot get that damn song out of my head.
Mass Hypnosis said,
May 22, 2006 at 22:10
Finnish metal has many fine representatives apart from the ones mentioned…
Children Of Bodom
Amorphis
Sentenced
Tiamat
Korpaklaani(thrashy guitars and accordion…hails yeah!!)
Nightwish
Sonata Arctica
Chaosbreed
Moonsorrow
The Black League
Downfall
Norther
Ajattara
and many more…
I love that Lordi won, simply because everyone seems to be pissed. A band that mocks the seriousness of the whole thing, who was mocked by the announcers after their performance wins the whole damn thing. And shame on the person referring to IRON MAIDEN as cheese. Most of the flash-in-the-pan pop acts of today would kill for the fan loyalty and longevity that the IRON’s have. Europe isn’t cheesy because it embraces metal, it just has a portion of it’s population that realizes that mainstream music is utter shite. My recomendation is to pick up the dvd of the documentary METAL: A Headbanger’s Journey, metal fan or not it is a fascinating look at the culture and history of the music of the beast.
hellis said,
May 23, 2006 at 0:59
Holy shit, how did I forget that Children of Bodom are from Finland? They are amazing. Or Hatebreeder and Follow the Reaper are, anyway.
Basharov said,
May 23, 2006 at 5:17
what do the Finns have besides Formula-1 drivers and Olympic biathlon teams?
“Leningrad Cowboys Go Amerika.”
ImJohnGalt said,
May 23, 2006 at 6:39
I’m sorry, anyone who can use the phrase “the Day of Rockening” deserves all the reindeer with lingonberry sauce they can eat.
David Flores said,
May 23, 2006 at 12:47
You know, I originally thought that Lordi winning must have been a joke, or a prank played by the viewers at home, but every time someone links to a youtube video of one of the other contestants, Lordi’s winning seems more and more logical and inevitable. At least with Lordi you can be fairly confident that you’re laughing with the band.
LACJ said,
May 23, 2006 at 19:04
Mmm, reindeer…I wonder if I will ever eat that again…
Pinko, I can tell you from personal experience that Europe the band was huge in Finland in 1987-88. So was Matti Nykänen… was that event bigger than Lordi’s win?
http://en.wikipedia.org/
wiki/Matti_Nyk%C3%A4nen
Is this site like the secret Finn site or something? What’s up with that? Gavin? Anyone?
The Fool said,
May 23, 2006 at 21:32
It looks like some of the Klingons got loose from the Star Trek Convention.
There can be no question, from this historical remove, that rock and roll went into steep decline post-1975.
Punk sucks and died a very early death (largely unmourned even by its fans), taking classic rock down with it. That left the field open for the unchallenged triumph of overly simplistic hip-hop, with mostly horrible lyrics about fucking hos, wearing bling, and putting a cap in your ass.
On the scale of black music, is there anyone who doubts that hip-hop ranks far below blues, jazz, soul, funk, or reggae? It’s only appropriate that the worst political period in our history was accompanied by the worst music.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic said,
May 23, 2006 at 22:17
Sadly, I think the true winners were denied this year for having the biggest balls of any group, ever.
I give you Lithuania’s entry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEpyDDLpB-I
Sjofn said,
May 23, 2006 at 22:45
Lithuania’s entry was rad.
Kathleen said,
May 24, 2006 at 5:32
I am a bit late to the party, but here is a hilarious analysis of Lordi, and few of the other Eurovision contestants:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/05/fugovision_song.html
Marq said,
May 27, 2006 at 7:43
Whoops–photos seem OK after the migration… but, YouTube vids have gone “poof!”
birtoc said,
July 7, 2006 at 14:38
First of all,if u see the other contestants, you would clearly understand why Lordi won.Second, compared to other Finnish metal bands, Lordi is pop music.I think the wings,costumes, pyrotechnics and other stuff contributed much to the winning.I mean,c’mon,all the other music was absolutely sissy girls’ music.If u had ur head standing next to exploding from pop music,and then these dudes show up on stage wearing horns,costumes, (although, BTW, the keyboard player’s costume sucked,as well as the drummer’s) wouldn’t u vote them just to prank the other contestants?Besides, Lordi is not really heavy metal,u know… Of course,they claim so, but they are much softer than other heavy metal bands.Also,another aspect is the comercialism of their music.Anyway, good thing they won..It kinda gave everybody a kick in the ass.However,i think it’s a shame for the finnish metalheads that Lordi participated. Eurovision isnt a contest for a rock band. Eurovision is for kitschy pop music and whaling.
Prima 'rock' Donna said,
July 9, 2006 at 4:09
So where can I get hold of a life-sized Mr Lordi action figure? I’m feeling frisky tonight, lol.
N@T@S@!!! said,
August 9, 2006 at 21:09
D*I*M*A is the B*E*S*T… L_O_R_D_I go have a R_E_S_T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me said,
August 19, 2006 at 13:31
i think the eurovision is crap and im only on this site cuz im doing a skool project on how crap it really is
ARMan1966 said,
August 22, 2006 at 18:59
OK, so you’re not all very musically inclined… As a musician, a rock fan, and just someone who likes to see an Underdog win against seemingly insurmountable odds: LORDI KICKED ASS. Breaking all sorts of records (and eardrums) in the process. Don’t like ‘em? OK, show some courage and fly to Finland and tell them to their face. Or, show some self respect and keep what you’re too scared to say to their face to yourself. There is all sorts of music and musicians, entertainers I don’t like and won’t listen to, but I will not sit around anonymously bashing someone(s) behind their back. That screams of cowardice to me, something, I’m sure you’re aware of, that Rock fans are NOT known for.
Dave said,
August 29, 2006 at 2:27
I think it’s a pretty good sound. I really like them…………..Too bad on you who don’t………………………………..
MysteryMonster said,
January 6, 2007 at 5:13
GWAR is gonna be pissed when these guys tour U.S. with KISS and play in awesome stadiums, but I’m very happy to hear of any band with so many Alice Cooperish influences can succeed in today’s music industry. Maybe the 70’s and 80’s haven’t been forgotten yet