Jan
7
7
Meet George Black
George Will, December 31, 2010 2009:
Tsutomu Yamaguchi, 93, was on a business trip in Hiroshima on Aug. 6, 1945. Three days later he was back home in Nagasaki. He also survived 2009. [...] Perhaps Tsutomu Yamaguchi will survive 2010.
Probably should have seen that one coming:
In 2009 Yamaguchi learned that he was dying of stomach cancer.[2] He died on 4 January 2010 in Nagasaki.
kingubu said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:17
George Will, December 31, 2010:
Wait, that douchenozzle has a freakin’ time masheen?
Pryme said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:17
I’m not too sure Will’s gonna make a retraction…
smedley said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:20
Ed McMahon: “Inside George Will’s head”
Carnack the Magnificent: “Wher the fuck r teh fucking ducks?”
justme said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:23
Talk about having a bad week. Jeezus.
mmy said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:24
This passage from Will’s column slays me:
What, now must is a word of weakness? The only stronger way to threaten them is to bomb them. I had no idea ol’ Georgie had gone neocon on us. [HTML fixed. --S,N!]
mmy said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:24
Ugh, HTML fail. I’m sure you got the gist, though.
Substance McGravitas said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:24
It’s like a Big Hollywood audition.
laym said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:28
So did a smitten Nobel committee.
Cut ‘em some slack. They were drunk, there was a karaoke machine …
dino goposaur said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:29
Still trying to figure out if he was either the luckiest or unluckiest man who ever lived.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:29
Man, they’re still hung up about those singing students.
It’s like a Big Hollywood audition.
F-in’ Blartblart with his blog naming-convention, someone might take me for one of his minions.
Steerpike said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:30
I would just like to say thank FSM we finally got off the whole “Twitterspeak” threads. Sure they were cute, but honestly I can only read so much tweetspeak, leetspeak, LOLcat and assorted webhead shorthand before I lose it. I mean, small doses, sure, it can be funny, even clever, but it gets old fast.
mimi said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:31
Low information voters have no common sense, they keep pulling the level for frauds like Obama who has been a complete failure in his first year of office. Informed voters like myself, if we had nominated Hillary, would be celebrating a bipartisan health care victory and all of our troops home. And economic recovery.
mimi said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:32
Twitter, l337 and such is the language of low information voters.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:33
So, wait. George Will traveled back in time to kill this Nagasaki dude because some kids sang for him during Black History Month, a.k.a. February? I’m so confused!
whatevs said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:35
@Steerpike Buzzkill
biff diggerence said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:36
” . . . if we had nominated Hillary, would be celebrating a bipartisan health care victory and all of our troops home. And economic recovery.”
Utter dreck.
Drew Carey said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:41
@mimi I knew we should have killed you off in the final season.
Steerpike said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:42
if we had nominated Hillary
Transalation for any concern-trollery that contains this sentiment:
“We had an airtight gameplan to defeat Hillary in the General Election, but you had to go and nominate a better candidate we couldn’t beat, so now I’m going to pretend I wanted Hillary to win because I’m too embarassed to admit I voted for McCain/Palin.”
Ashton Kutcher said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:47
@Steerpike Troll’d
Snorghagen said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:48
George Will’s mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. It is not for us little people to try to comprehend what the fuck he’s talking about.
actor212 said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:50
Is George Will going to become the next Sports Illustrated curse? You get mentioned by him and BOOM! your career or life are over?
Lurking Canadian said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:50
Brown University’s faculty voted to rename Columbus Day “Fall Weekend,” presumably to punish the explorer for spoiling the Western Hemisphere paradise where human sacrifices were still happening when he arrived.
Wait, so now George Will is pissed off about Avatar too?
Once more, to the wingnuts who somehow still don’t get it: Natives were not perfect innocent humans living in the garden of Eden. Still didn’t give us the right to kill them and take their stuff. Why is that so hard?
I think it’s time for another Albigensian Crusade. Manicheanism is alive and well and prospering in America.
Butt Monkey said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:52
Could Will sound any more constipated? “Isn’t it pretty to think so”. Give me a break.
actor212 said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:53
Isn’t a yamaguchi that stupid electronic toy, that bug you have to keep alive by playing with it, so you keep it on your keychain?
Or is the one that comes in a little red and white ball that you throw into battle against other yamaguchi, shouting “Yamaguchi! I choose you!”
Or maybe it’s a brand of motorcycle. Or guitar?
Steerpike said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:55
I thought Yamaguchi was a noodle dish with fish and soya sauce
Hello Kitty said,
January 7, 2010 at 22:59
Yamaguchi is a line of knockoff handbags.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:04
I thought Yamaguchi was a noodle dish with fish and soya sauce
No noodles, but certainly a dish.
Fats Durston said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:06
Yes, Will is a miserably unclear writer, but what is the point of including the Yamaguchi anecdote? Atomic war ain’t so bad like the leftists claim?
pedestrian said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:16
She did not survive even one year with Obama as president.
Mickey Rooney said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:23
Isn’t a yamaguchi that stupid electronic toy, that bug you have to keep alive by playing with it, so you keep it on your keychain?
Or is the one that comes in a little red and white ball that you throw into battle against other yamaguchi, shouting “Yamaguchi! I choose you!”
Or maybe it’s a brand of motorcycle. Or guitar?
That shit is comedy GOLD. Who can keep all those yellow people words straight amirite? Call me, I’ve been looking for a new bit.
Felonious Monk said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:23
Alright, folks, we need to convince Georgie to start writing about his fellow conservatives. I’d say now’s the time for a nice, long column about Joe Lieberman’s courage in the face of adveristy, don’t you?
Felonious Monk said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:25
And just to clear things up
Stupid Electronic Toy = Tamagotchi
Motorcycle & guitar brand = Yamaha
Pokemon = ??????
tigrismus said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:28
Pikachu.
pedestrian said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:28
presumably to punish the explorer for spoiling the Western Hemisphere paradise where human sacrifices were still happening when he arrived.
Well, showing up to a Columbus Day weekend barbecue uninvited won’t make you Mr. Popular.
Substance McGravitas said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:32
Correct me if I’m wrong but I think this entitles me to beat the shit out of George Will and take his stuff in the name of progress.
This “progressive” shit gets more fun every day.
actor212 said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:38
Stupid Electronic Toy = Tamagotchi
Motorcycle & guitar brand = Yamaha
Pokemon = ??????
FTR, I have a daughter of the age that I got hit up by Tamagotchi AND Pikachu AND her Yamaha electric guitar.
And yes, she’s now a confirmed J-Pop fan, can speak Japanese, and wants to move to Tokyo.
Fuckin’ yellow menace…why are we worried about brownskin terrorists????
wiley said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:41
Was he trying to say that this administration is going to be harder to survive than two atomic bomb blasts? Hard to tell. He was all over the place. It was bitch, bitch, bitch. Sad that he gets paid to do this.
Johnny Pez said,
January 8, 2010 at 0:02
No, I think the point George is trying to make is that if the USA ever becomes evil, like if we start invading other countries for no good reason or torturing prisoners, then people who are still good like the Canadians or French would be justified in coming over here and fucking us over.
It’s a fascinating perspective, I’ll say that for him.
PeeJ said,
January 8, 2010 at 0:28
Gesundheit.
Bitter Scribe said,
January 8, 2010 at 0:38
No one in history has ever been as smart as George Will thinks he is.
robert green said,
January 8, 2010 at 1:14
wow, if yamaguchi was 93 in 1945, he just died at the ripe old age of 158.
george will is a lot of things. intentionally obtuse, faux intellectual, and so on, but what he REALLY excels at is sucking at writing. and research.
shaun said,
January 8, 2010 at 1:21
I was just at the Hiroshima memorial last week. I was going to include the story of the double survivor dude when I blogged about it. Now my RW relatives are going to think I read Will.
Actor, don’t let her move to Tokyo. This place is weird. I mean, I love it but once my (not yet conceived) kids are old enough for school I’m getting them out of here.
Snorghagen said,
January 8, 2010 at 1:53
Nuclear explosions are good for you.
Chicago City Comptroller said,
January 8, 2010 at 2:15
What in the holy blue hell was the POINT of that? Something about how there are to many minorities and New England isn’t Puritan anymore and they have McDonald in France and… Maybe I’m just not up to George’s exalted level of intellectual development, but that column baffles me.
Whale Chowder said,
January 8, 2010 at 2:22
“What in the holy blue hell was the POINT of that?”
Y’all are overthinking it. The point of the article was “I’m conservative and crochety and I just hate it when shit changes. You kids get offa my lawn!”
His mental age is about 25 years greater than his biological age.
pedestrian said,
January 8, 2010 at 2:38
Nuclear explosions are good for you.
Caribou love oil pipelines. Also.
MarkusR said,
January 8, 2010 at 2:39
Did he just equate 2009 and its “liberalism” to nuclear attack?
pedestrian said,
January 8, 2010 at 2:48
Moderate healthcare reform is the nuclear holocaust of liberal fascism.
Judge Rulz said,
January 8, 2010 at 3:29
“pedestrian said,
January 7, 2010 at 23:16
Helen Lewis, who settled in south Belfast after World War II, died on New Year’s Eve at the age of 93. The Czech-born mother-of-two spent three months in the Nazi concentration camp and survived two so-called “selections” by the notorious ‘Angel of Death’, Dr Josef Mengele.
She did not survive even one year with Obama as president.”
Winner! I just puked from laughing so hard.
jim said,
January 8, 2010 at 4:31
The boat – I advise you to stay in it.
Which of course explains its 24/7 dominance of all major TeeVee networks, & why I can’t escape it even on the kaleidoscope of weirdness that is the Interbutts. If you’re using the non-sinister meaning of portentous (& you’re not some ossified cretinous neocon douchebag) you might even want to put the inauguration of America’s first POTUS of colour in the running … that is, if you don’t want to look like a total goombah.
Making Teabaggers, Orly Taitz, teh ghost of Wacko Jacko & Balloon Boy cry = GUILTY.
“George Will,” jim snarked, “needs a good strong turpentine enema.” Needs?
LOLWUT? Gosh … I feel his pain … & it makes me happy as a puppy getting a tummy-rub.
Triumph O’ Teh Will: I like to imagine cops & paramedics finding Will’s corpse, clad in full Nazi regalia over thigh-high fishnet stockings, crotchless panties & a frilly bra, his palsied hands clutching maniacally at the throat of a giant Tinky-Winky doll, with a tetanus-infected rig half-full of pure crystal meth hanging out of his schwanz.
Isn’t it sweet to think so?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 8, 2010 at 7:10
Yes, Will is a miserably unclear writer, but what is the point of including the Yamaguchi anecdote? Atomic war ain’t so bad like the leftists claim?
I think he is decrying the socialist healthcare system in Japan.
Anne Sexton said,
January 8, 2010 at 8:16
Shorter Willie:
Fine whites settled in New England and realized freedom of religion and the brown heathens out west have taken it to far as they in fact repopulate the earth and threaten all of us good European born, even going so far as to asail our great saint of conquering, Columbus, who really wasn’t any worse than those damn brown people/savages who didn’t deserve to have this land anyway
…and by the way, Obama is a whimp and while the heathens overrun the civilized, Paul just might come up from the dead and save us all with the Pope’s permission of course
and by the way, nuclear war isn’t all that bad, what r ya crying about anyway and when is Obama gonna launch another bomb?
Done.
I got on my Suzuki,
looking for some kabuki
and realized I left my tagamuchi
on my babaganooshi
so I headed on home
thinking of Yagamuchi
got a text from my boyfriend
who said, “Pokemon?”
and I thought to myself,
I had a hunch he was gay.
GRACE PAYTON said,
January 8, 2010 at 12:23
HILLARY VOTED FOR THE WAR. SHE AND BILL ALREADY FAILED AT THE HEALTH CARE EFFORT. AND YOU SHOULD KNOW, THAT
SHE, ALONG WITH OBAMA, ATTENDED THE BILDERBERG GROUP
MEETING. THEY ARE ON THE SAME PAGE AS CORPORATIONS
THAT ARE MEMBERS. THEY WANT TO REDUCE THE WORLD’S
POPULATION BY 80% VIA WAR, DISEASES, POISON RX AND
POISONING THE FOOD AND WATER SUPPLY. WATCH JESSE VENTURA’S SHOWS ON TRU TV… RE: 9/11 TRUTH, THE HAARP
PROJECT IN ALASKA, BIG BROTHER, MIND CONTROL, CLIMATE,
ETC. READ: “WORLD WITHOUT CANCER”. 18 OTHER COUNTRIES
ARE SAVING THE LIVES OF THEIR CANCER PATIENTS WITH LAETRILE. IT’S NOT TOXIC. THAT’S A LIE. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO
WERE GIVEN A FEW MONTHS TO LIVE, WHOSE LIVES WERE SAVED WITH LAETRILE. BUT IT’S ILLEGAL IN THE “LAND OF THE
FREE”. MILLET & APRICOT KERNELS ARE THE RICHEST SOURCE
OF VITAMIN B17, WHICH PREVENTS CANCER. APRICOT KERNELS
ARE NOT TOXIC. THAT’S A LIE. I CONSUME MY SHARE OF THEM
EVERY SINGLE DAY. ABOUT 500,000 NEW CANCER CASES ARE
DIAGNOSED EVERY YEAR… AND THE SAME # OF PEOPLE DIE
OF CANCER EVERY YEAR. THE TRUTH ABOUT CANCER CAUSE,
PREVENTION AND CURE SHOULD BE TOLD TO THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE… BUT THERE ARE TOO MANY GETTING RICH OFF THE
BARBARIC TREATMENTS THE AMA DRs ARE USING, POISONING
WITH CHEMO, BURNING WITH RADIATION AND CARVING PEOPLE
UP LIKE THANKSGIVING TURKEYS…. ALSO THE RESEARCHERS
WHO ARE TAKING THE MONEY AND PRETENDING TO LOOK FOR
A CURE… WHAT WOULD THEY DO FOR A LIVING, IF PEOPLE
KNEW, THAT THERE ALREADY IS AN ANSWER TO CANCER.
VITAMINS ARE CHEAP. THEY CAN’T BE PATENTED BY PHARMA.
THE GREED OF “CORPORATISM” IS INFLUENCING OUR GOV’T &
IT’S AGENCIES, SUCH AS THE FDA, CDC, NIH, ETC. WE NEED A
MARCH ON WASHINGTON TO REVEAL THE TRUTH OF THIS FRAUD.
HIV IS A FRAUD, TOO. HIV IS HARMLESS. THEY ARE MURDERING
PEOPLE WITH AZT, WHICH IS A POISON RX. PLEASE, READ:
“INVENTING THE AIDS VIRUS”, BY DR PETER DUESBERG
WHILE YOU’RE AT IT READ: “THE FRANKLIN COVER-UP”….FIND
OUT JUST HOW CORRUPT OUR GOV’T IS…. AND READ THE HAARP
BOOK, “ANGELS DON’T PLAY THIS HAARP”, BY DR NICK BEGICH
DON’T FORGET TO WATCH JESSE VENTURA’S TRU TV SHOW ON
WEDNESDAY NIGHTS… SEE WHAT OUR GOV’T IS UP TO.
CLICK ON: http://WWW.1CURE4CANCER.COM AND
http://WWW.APRICOTPOWER.COM AND
THE APRICOT AGONISTS
READ THE BOOKS. THEY WILL SHOCK YOU !!
GRACE PAYTON said,
January 8, 2010 at 12:31
BOTH MAJOR PARTIES ARE CORRUPT. WE HAVE THE BEST GOV’T MONEY CAN BUY. YOU CAN TELL WHICH ONES HAVE BEEN BOUGHT BY WHAT INDUSTRY, BY THE WAY THEY VOTE ON THE ISSUES. ENCOURAGE EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO CHANGE THEIR VOTER REGISTRATION TO THE 3RD PARTY OF THEIR CHOICE. WHEN THE MEDIA ANNOUNCES THE #s, THE MAJOR
PARTIES WILL KNOW, THAT WE WON’T TOLERATE THE BRIBERY
AND CORRUPTION OF OUR PUBLIC OFFICIALS. THEY NEED SOME
COMPETITION. IF WE KNOW, THAT MILLIONS HAVE CHANGED THEIR VOTER REGISTRATION TO 3RD PARTIES, WE WON’T HAVE
TO WORRY, THAT OUR VOTES WILL BE WASTED. WE ARE NOT
GETTING THE CHANGE WE WANT, UNLESS WE CHALLENGE THE
STATUS QUO. AS LONG AS THE 2 MAJOR PARTIES THINK WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO VOTE FOR THEM, THEY WILL NEVER CLEAN UP THEIR ACT.
ROD SERLING said,
January 8, 2010 at 14:09
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS.
creature said,
January 8, 2010 at 15:11
I got here late, which can be highly entertaining. Loud troll sort of reminds me of Louis Farrakhan. He starts out mild, relatively sensible, in a pissed-off sort of way, then veers to the wackiness hard and heavy (refer to ‘Million Man March’ speech transcript- sorry, no link). Except loud troll starts out bizarre and gets wild and weird real quick. Dammit.
Sirius Lunacy said,
January 8, 2010 at 17:11
Sony, Sanyo, Hitachi, Toshiba
My stereo comes from Japan
Thank you Sankyo, Akai, Ankyo
It’s all made by the Japanese man.
I watched Shogun on my Trinitron
That I brought home in my Nissan car
Yamaha made my Piano, Motorcycle,
Amplifier and guitar.
Sirius Lunacy said,
January 8, 2010 at 17:14
Sometimes I think about the Japanese man
Who made everything that’s in my home
What does he do late nights in Tokyo
When he’s at home and he’s alone?
He goes out to McDonald’s
In his Calvin Kliens
His Walkman plays the Beach Boys
His Coke goes down just fine
tigrismus said,
January 8, 2010 at 17:44
Jesus H, laetrile trolls? Excuse me, JESUS H, LAETRILE TROLLS? THE EIGHTYS CALLED AND THEY WANT THEIR CONSPIRACY THEORIES BACK.
Brian X said,
January 8, 2010 at 20:44
Sirius:
If only. The Japanese outsource to the Chinese like everyone else these days.
Bitter Scribe said,
January 8, 2010 at 22:01
Now there’s an endorsement.
tc said,
January 9, 2010 at 0:21
“presumably to punish the explorer for spoiling the Western Hemisphere paradise where human sacrifices were still happening when he arrived.”
A full two centuries later, the settlers of that paradise were still burning witches at the stake.
Whale Chowder said,
January 9, 2010 at 2:25
…and three centuries after that, they were still lynching black men.
Ain’t progress wonderful?
Iamspartacus said,
January 10, 2010 at 6:17
“presumably to punish the explorer for spoiling the Western Hemisphere paradise where human sacrifices were still happening when he arrived.”
As distinct from the autos da fe he would have witnessed (and cheered) back in Spain?
When I started reading, I was sure Will would declare that exposure to fallout helps you live to 93. My bad.