Jan
6

Twitter Down The Ages




Posted at 3:54 by D. Aristophanes

So it turns out we had some readers who thought it was uncool to criticize Tila Tequila for tweeting her grief at the loss of her partner. Anyway, it got me thinking what other famous people might have tweeted in similar circumstances, if Twitter, like the poor, had always been with us.

First up, a slain civil rights hero:

Next, the Passion of the Tweet:

Finally, the obligatory Godwinning of the entire discussion:

Too soon? In the Twitter Era it is probably already too late.

173 Comments »

  1. Tacitus Voltaire said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:05

    somebody remind me again why terrorists think that somebody from outside this country would be needed to destroy it?

  2. Nom de Plume said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:05

    Is that “Deutscheland forever”, or “Deutscheland for Eva”?

  3. D. Aristophanes said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:10

    both LOL

  4. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:13

    Is that “Deutscheland forever”, or “Deutscheland for Eva”?

    The great writers cannot help but write great. Er, 4 GREAT JUSTICE.

  5. jp said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:13

    This is just sick. Kudos!

  6. Nymstradamus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:28

    Needs more Mary Todd and Jackie Bouvier to make it complete.

  7. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:34

    way 2 deminize the Other mr 2 foriners and mrs king

  8. Elephant Butte said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:34

    @Caesar OMFG et2 Bts?

  9. Nymstradamus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:44

    @Anastasia Betr ded then red. Nicky & Sunny rulz!!!

  10. ploeg said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:47

    Next you’re going to tell us that Paul McCartney thought that John Lennon’s murder was a drag.

  11. Technogeek said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:48

    It’s the anime avatar that really sells the last one.

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:48

    Y’know, potential old person fail on my part, but isn’t the formatting above an old person fail on DA’s part?

    What are @Replies?

    An @reply is a public message sent from one person to another, distinguished from normal updates by the @username prefix. If a message begins with @username, we collect it as a reply. Reply publicly to any update on Twitter by using the @username format. Following is not necessary to reply to someone, and all of your replies are visible in the @username tab in your home page sidebar. (Tweets with @username elsewhere in the tweet are also collected in your sidebar tab; tweets starting with @username are replies, and tweets with @username elsewhere are considered mentions.) Please note that if your account is private, users who are not following you will not see your @replies or mentions.

  13. bondwooley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:48

    OK, that’s hilarious!

  14. bondwooley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:50

    By the way, this week’s Lester & Charlie poll is still open:

    What did YOU learn from the last miserable ten years that we call a decade?

    http://bit.ly/llPZg

  15. Tacitus Voltaire said,

    January 6, 2010 at 4:53

    Lester & Charlie poll

    @tacvolt how cn U xpekt me to chooz btw Pres & Bird??!11??

  16. The Raven said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:00

    Someday, I’ll be witty enough to hang with you guys. You’re on a level so high most people can’t even see it.

    Since I’m here, Isaac Newton tweets:

    OMG! An apple fell on my head! It hurt.

    Mass times velocity… OMG!

    I’ll have to finish this later, “Jersey Shore” is on.

  17. stryx said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:01

    This is even better than Dentistry Is Theft.

    DAYUM.

  18. N__B said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:18

    This is even better than Dentistry Is Theft.

    @orlyttz tooth certificate?

  19. Mr. Wonderful said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:23

    You know who was Hitler? Hitler!

  20. Lesley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:36

    I would like to see Twitter Down the Ages as a regular feature mocking attention whoring.

    Tequila whatsername is a douchebag, grieving or not.

  21. Felonious Monk said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:39

    @AlexanderHamilton

    Lol @ Burr, wut a fukken pussy. Im gng 2 chalng him 2 a d00l! well c whos futur of Fed Party now, fgt! LOL

  22. Zack! said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:41

    Shut the fuck up. Brilliant. I guess the only option when you’re called out for being tacky is to slog on through until you KNOW you’re being tacky.
    That’s called funny.

  23. Northern Observer said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:52

    And loo a new comedic form is birthed, The Twitonette.

    Is this not the best address on the whole inter tubes or what.

  24. N__B said,

    January 6, 2010 at 5:58

    And loo a new comedic form is birthed, The Twitonette.

    Those have been around for years, but most people get the strings all tangled.

  25. Nom de Plume said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:00

    The following shit made my life:

    STFU with the weeping and the whaling WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH

  26. gainsayer said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:18

    STFU with the weeping and the whaling WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH

    Well it does seem inappropriate to break out the harpoons.

  27. NutellaonToast said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:42

    My god, D, the stark contrast you draw between Tila Tequila and Coretta Scott King show that you weren’t really being an ass by telling someone else how to react when a love one dies.

    And here I thought it’d be a silly place to put your foot down. I had not realize that TT wasn’t a civil rights leader.

  28. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:52

    I *still* don’t know who Tila Tequila is. But the Passion of the Tweet is the funniest fucking twit ever twatted.

  29. justme said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:54

    Well it does seem inappropriate to break out the harpoons.

    I don’t know. Did you get a look at MM? Nuke it from orbit 111!!!

  30. justme said,

    January 6, 2010 at 6:57

    Also, Apr 3, 33 makes me giggle.

  31. Loneoak said,

    January 6, 2010 at 7:11

    NplnBnprt: off 2 wtrloo 2. 7th coalishun aint shit.

    NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington haha more like dookie wellington, stupid fgt. Go hump earl fuxbridge.

    NplnBnprt: Anyone know good plc 2 eat in Brusselz? Yelp is useless.

    NplnBnprt: Damn this ground is wet. Gonna wait few days to fight. PS fuck prussia

    NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington is that all you brought, loser? doesn’t look like you have anyone behind that hill. LOL

    NplnBnprt: lol Ney sez @DukeWellington center is retreating. French Empire in da hizza!

    NplnBnprt: Squares? WTF. Brits are buncha homos.

    NplnBnprt: OMFG FLANK!11!

    NplnBnprt: Imperial Guard whatwhat un-da-fffeeeted

    NplnBnprt: yeah, so, um …

    NplnBnprt: @DukeWellington Sorry I said that about your moms, old chap

    NplnBnprt: Treaty of Paris anyone?

  32. The Goddamn Batman Is Positive That Alfred Tweets About Him Constantly When He's Out Fighting The Crime said,

    January 6, 2010 at 7:20

    Nice parodies, but you missed an opportunity to have Mary M. comforted by Peter. Because, you know. Peter. Get it? Tee hee?

    yep, I’ma going ta hell on a donkey cart, or should I say on my ass?

  33. Citizen_X said,

    January 6, 2010 at 7:30

    Awesome bad taste, DA. I am not worthy!

  34. christian h. said,

    January 6, 2010 at 7:38

    Wow. Impossible to top. “I swear i thought this was performance art!” – O-M-G.

  35. Djur said,

    January 6, 2010 at 7:53

    Man, D, you are such an old.

  36. Felonious Monk said,

    January 6, 2010 at 8:03

    @Genghis
    Plan 4 2nite: F#%* sum bitchzz, overrun West Asia, F(@# moar bitchzz. Holy Shit I luv my life.

  37. Anonymous said,

    January 6, 2010 at 8:30

    S0kr8s on triL, kruptin uth? na u krupt. Ath3nz aint shit
    S0kr8s triL sux, gettin drinx wit Ath3nz boyz
    S0kr8s so buzzd bros
    S0kr8s OMZ, h3mlx? xP

  38. Face on Mars said,

    January 6, 2010 at 8:33

    I’m just a wind sculpted pattern only visible if the photo is fuzzy.

    But I have feelings !!!

    LOL.

  39. creature said,

    January 6, 2010 at 8:46

    “I usta be disgusted, now I’m just amused, now that angels wanna wear my red shoes!” At first, I thought the use of twitter for self-agrandizement was sick. My fascination with weirdness overwhelmed the revulsion, though. I am definitely down with the sickness, from here on out!

  40. noen said,

    January 6, 2010 at 8:51

    Looks like Pulitzer material to me.

  41. GACuster said,

    January 6, 2010 at 9:21

    LOL injuns. brb.

  42. justme said,

    January 6, 2010 at 9:22

    Yelp is useless.

    win

  43. justme said,

    January 6, 2010 at 9:33

    And just to tie this thread in with the Althouse one…

  44. M. Bouffant said,

    January 6, 2010 at 10:42

    @ElvisTupelo:

    Corn?

  45. M. Bouffant said,

    January 6, 2010 at 10:45

    @GeorgeSanders:

    I’m way bored :( Outta here now heh

  46. hells littlest angel said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:13

    Thank you. I will laugh for the rest of the day over this.

  47. El Cid said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:17

    Zelloid: @ChrisMatthews… i wish we livd in dayz u cud chalnj man 2 dual

  48. stackozone said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:36

    @DBroder Clintonz wreckup hometown w/2xD traler trsh wtf I sad ;-(

  49. annefrank said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:49

    neener neener u nevar gon find me

  50. ShahJahan said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:52

    I haz sadz. MaB I build her a house ne way

  51. L30n1d3s said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:55

    Twit Ter SPARTA!!!!!!

  52. stibbert said,

    January 6, 2010 at 11:55

    Godwin manga tweets needz tentacle-sex avatart.

  53. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 12:42

    guess whos my l8est new follower its @yourmom

    @yourmom i surprised u started twiting. can’t imagine u keeping under 140 charcters

    holymoly @yourmom u gots moar followers than aplusk

  54. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 13:35

    **Golf Clap**

    Nice work, DA. That’s the Sadly, No mojo.

    Also imagined, a happy story…

    @PresKennedy: WTF? Fdl has nukes? @NikitaK/ waht up, asshole?

    @PresKennedy: @LeMay/ Drct order, ok, lose the stffy.

    @PresKennedy: @Adlai/ Pls dnt forget teh pics. on flickr a/c, tagged w/ pwned_bicthez.

    @PresKennedy: @NikitaK/ Ha ha, yr boats got no sack1!! LOL

    @PresKennedy: @NikitaK/ HA EPIC FAIL. @Zorin got pnchd by a hippie. Bwahaha. On teevee. ROTWHFLMAO

    @PresKennedy: @RFK_indahouse/ Fdl still got nukes, @LeMay still crazy, pls go to Plan B.

    @PresKennedy: Ps @RFK_indahouse/ need moar skirt. Thx. Peace bro.

  55. shaun said,

    January 6, 2010 at 13:41

    A new Internet Tradition is borned?

    GACuster FTW. Cracked me up, it did.

  56. Tom M said,

    January 6, 2010 at 14:10

    This is comedic gold. No shark jumping here.

  57. Pastor Niemoller said,

    January 6, 2010 at 14:42

    O crap now there comin for twitter.

  58. mimi said,

    January 6, 2010 at 14:51

    Sadly, you are all low information voters who nominated and voted for Obama believing he would change the world. If you were highly informed like I am, you would have supported Hillary and we would not be in the horrible mess we are in. Sometimes I beleive the low information voters should not be allowed to vote, there should be a test.

  59. Fencedude said,

    January 6, 2010 at 14:53

    Who would have guessed that the Fuhrer was a fan of Fruits Basket.

  60. MPK said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:09

    Totally without taste and supremely hilarious.

    Our view of historical figures so often makes them look noble, or inspired that we forget that there were as human and shallow as anyone else.

    Even the Pope has to go to the crapper once a day.

  61. DCrockett said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:14

    Hi ppl sry for the bleg / RT @thealamo we in deep shit. send $ call yr cgrsmn. Thx #shamnesty

  62. Anonymous said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:20

    mimi

    You’re a few notes off key, dodo.

  63. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:23

    Someone’s not in the twitmas spirit.

  64. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:25

    Even the Pope has to go to the crapper once a day.

    BenedictRatzo: Today’s consultation with #porcelaingod posted on http://www.papalbullshit.org

  65. Tiger Woods said,

    January 6, 2010 at 15:51

    @s/n **golf clap** inna h0le!!!1!!

  66. Looch said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:01

    Sometimes I beleive the low information voters should not be allowed to vote, there should be a test.

    For you, dearie, a reading comprehension section might be a bit difficult, no?

  67. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:14

    Hey, I might soften my stance on Twitter if someone develops multiplayer #OregonTrail

    OregonTrail: @LauraIngallsWilder has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
    OregonTrail: @dkwangchuck has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
    OregonTrail: @uberPWNage337 has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
    OregonTrail: @yourmom has set out on #OregonTrailA32YY
    OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @uberPWNage337 trades for 8957 bullets.
    OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @LauraIngallsWilder trades for 3 bottles of wine.
    OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY @yourmom is pregnant.
    dkwangchuck: Whut??!!? I thought @yourmom was on the pill
    OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY You cross the Missippi. @LauraIngallsWilder has malaria.
    OregonTrail: While on #OregonTrailA32YY You discover a friendly tribe. @yourmom has syphilis
    OregonTrail: @LauraIngallsWilder has left #OregonTrailA32YY
    dkwangchuck: @LauraIngallsWilder Fuck you Melissa Ellen Gilbert. We’ll finish #OregonTrailA32YY without your malaria stricken ass.

  68. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:17

    @MaryMagadalene U no who else got naled? Ur mom LOL!!!!!!!!!!

  69. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:19

    @MaryToodLincoln Othr thn tht, how wuz plai?

  70. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:20

    @TimmehRussert WTF? @DGregory make u luke like tuff quesshunner LOL!

  71. Steerpike said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:23

    The phrase “Tweeting grief” should not exist in this or any other language. Not even as a band name.

  72. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:29

    @OurPop Who art n heven. Hollo be ur name.

  73. Steerpike said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:43

    You may laugh, Actor.

  74. Mark D said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:45

    Holy fucking shit … I’m hemorrhaging from laughing so damn hard. Just what I needed before the next blizzard hits town.

    This has so much goddamn potential it should be illegal. Wish I didn’t have so much work to do today — but can’t wait to read all the fauxtweets later.

    ::much applause::

  75. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:54

    @Steerpike Thas jus rong.

  76. Steerpike said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:55

    Day 1: Lighting system installed. BRB.
    Days 2-6: Some assembly required: sky, plants, cows, people. Left humans in charge, LOL. Day 7: Siesta

  77. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:56

    Now I really won’t get any dissertation work done today because I’ll be trying to think of how the folks I’m writing about would use Twitter….

  78. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:57

    @Pontiuspilate. u thnk it wld be better to save barrabas can i ask u to consdr alterntv. Thx

  79. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:58

    @Linnaeus U wan call it what? 2 long! Call it ‘rose’ #names

  80. lobbey said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:58

    @Ceasar mt with that tosser Brutus tdy, hope hes in a decent mood, surly fucker
    @Ceasar fuck me, he s got a knife, WTF………………
    @Ceasar u bastard

  81. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 16:59

    RT @pontiuspilate @Herod Hey, he’s ur prob, not mine!

  82. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:00

    This form has actually been mined for comedy (including anime avatars) since long before Twitter. Do read this version of Akira – you owe it to your mother.

  83. Steerpike said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:01

    Hamlet: 2BRNOT2B?

  84. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:04

    @DKW Dont harsh my melo, kthxbai!

  85. Lurking Canadian said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:07

    I can’t decide if I prefer “don’t burn shit down @stokelycarmichael” or “WE r ALL SAD 2 BITCH”, but that was awesome. I agree, this should be a regular feature.

  86. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:09

    RT @pontiuspilate. dnt blame me. god fckd a virgn how cld i stop that?

  87. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:13

    @Linnaeus U wan call it what? 2 long! Call it ‘rose’ #names

    Okay, that’s funny. If it weren’t still too early in the morning, I’d have a snappy reply.

  88. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:17

    RT @Herod U no who else wuz a virgn? LOL!

  89. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:20

    RT @pontiuspilate. hitler?

  90. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:21

    RT @FrankSinatra @NancyReagan Old bastrd shot. Cum. Quik!

  91. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:21

    RT @Herod LOL!!!11!!! Gud wun!

  92. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:23

    @Newton Fuck @Leibniz I invntd calcls 1st

  93. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:27

    RT @Newton @JohnWallis LIAR! LOL!

  94. @Milhouse said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:29

    @rosemry: eraz tayp 18 mins cud incrimin8!

  95. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:29

    Dont harsh my melo, kthxbai!

    @actor212 chillpill jus ponting out that is a classics.

  96. @fuerher said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:32

    @gnrl staff:hld tnks. Pa d calay r33l invashun. Nrmndy LOL

  97. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:33

    Altho, Twitterese Thumbnail Akira would be pretty awesome.

    Tetsuo: @Kaneda KANEDA!
    Kaneda: @ Tetsuo TETSUOOOOO!!!
    Tetsuo: @Kaneda KANEEEEEDAAAA!!!! #Kaneda

  98. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:43

    @John John!

    @Mary Mary!

    @John @Mary Wud u 2 get a fking ROOM, areddy!

  99. JGSwanksta said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:48

    Sociealism in marx Muslim style will leed 2 murders global of womb babees n homo nups 4 all.

  100. @Lennon said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:48

    @MarkDavidChapman U luk nothin like me, boy-o

  101. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:48

    @ChasDarwin: Finchs in #galapagos rly spclizd need 2 rd @Lyell agin

  102. @Lennon said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:49

    @MarkDavidChapman @JodieFoster called. She wants her panties back. LOL!

  103. Djur said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:52

    Thing about Twitter is that it’s not preventing anyone from writing well. The perceived drop in literacy from the popularity of text messages, chat rooms, blogs, and social networking sites is an illusion. The end result of all of these telecommunication advances has been and is going to be improved overall literacy. The development of shorthand is a sign of increased literacy, not degeneration!

    Loud, public displays of bereavement are an American tradition. The British have always thought us to be kind of undignified about death, and that was part of the controversy after Diana died. I don’t find it particularly surprising that (a) an American (b) who is famous (c) who has no other real purpose in life than to be famous would tweet about that. It’s certainly not evidence of some kind of cultural dissolution, as the olds would have it.

    After all, even you can sext, D.

  104. Attaturk said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:53

    @honestabe @usgrant this play is a real knee slapper

    @honestabe @usgrant laurakeene fap fap fap

    @honestabe @usgrant why here is that @sicsempertyrannus fellow JW Boothe probably to pay his resp

  105. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:54

    @Itasca We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.

  106. Dave said,

    January 6, 2010 at 17:55

    WTF Hal? Open the pod bay doors mofo

    Hal9000 @Dave — Srry, can’t do that Dave, kthxbye.

  107. Elephant Butte said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:00

    @MarieA canhaz cake? kthxb…………….

  108. CTaylorAstronaut said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:01

    @CornyChimp U maniax! U blue up Stat of Lib! Dam u al 2 Hell!

  109. Looch said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:02

    @jjmiller @jwhale syn 4 trane? need 4 buk
    @jwhale @jjmiller y not mech cyclopz?
    @jjmiller @jwhale u roXx0r! kthxbai

  110. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:02

    @RbtELee: Union keeps chngng gnrls @Meade won’t do shit lol #gettysburg #armyofnNthnVa

  111. TAEdison said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:03

    Wtsn cme hre I wnt 2CU

  112. DeepSpaceAliens said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:04

    Snd moar chuk bery

  113. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:04

    @TsarNick #Rasputin stabbed. Ded. LOL!

    @Guseva Idiot! Takes man to do man’s werk!

    @Yusupov #Rasputin Let him eat cakes

    @TsarNick #Rasputin ate five. Shud be nuff

    @Yusupov Shoot #Rasputin jst 2 b shur

    @TsarNick K, done.

    @TsarNick 4got coat #Rasputin choked me. Shot 3 moar times. LOL!

    @TsarNick #Rasputin fukhed wont die! Gone clubbin

    @TsarNick cut #Rasputin penis off. Make nice present for Mrs. In carpet. In river Neva

    @Yusupov Sure?

    @TsarNick OMFG! #Rasputin lived! But thn he dyd unner ice

  114. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:05

    @CornyChimp U maniax! U blue up Stat of Lib! Dam u al 2 Hell!

    FTW!

  115. WCFields said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:05

    who pt ornge juz n my ornge juz? SuX!11!!!

  116. Linnaeus said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:06

    @AlexGBell: lol I invented phone @TAEdison Wtsn cme hre I wnt 2CU

  117. Anonymous said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:07

    @judgecrater brb

  118. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:12

    @Bambi Mom ded. Ur on ur own, kid. Sux 2 b u! LOL!

  119. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:12

    @Republicans Wetsuit. Do! Not! Want!

  120. Willy said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:12

    @JoeWillie SB3 iz gona b mine! u herd it here 1st!

  121. Ole said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:14

    If WW 2 had been an MMORTS – yeah, it’s old’n stuff but still :-) :

    *Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
    *Eisenhower has joined the game.*
    *paTTon has joined the game.*
    *Churchill has joined the game.*
    *benny-tow has joined the game.*
    *T0J0 has joined the game.*
    *Roosevelt has joined the game.*
    *Stalin has joined the game.*
    *deGaulle has joined the game.*
    Roosevelt: hey sup
    T0J0: y0
    Stalin: hi
    Churchill: hi
    Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
    paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
    T0J0: lol
    Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
    benny-tow: haha america sux
    Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
    Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
    Stalin: cool
    deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
    Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
    Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
    Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
    Roosevelt: get antiair guns
    Churchill: i cant afford them
    benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
    paTTon: stfu
    Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
    deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
    Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
    paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
    Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
    deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
    *deGaulle has left the game.*
    Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
    benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
    benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
    Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
    T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
    Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
    T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
    Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
    Hitler[AoE]: wtf
    Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
    Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
    Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
    Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
    T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
    Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
    Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
    Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
    benny-tow: haha
    benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
    T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
    Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
    Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
    Stalin: church help me
    Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
    Stalin: dont be an arss
    Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
    Eisenhower: LOL
    benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
    Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
    paTTon: oh what now biotch
    Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
    *benny-tow has been eliminated.*
    benny-tow: lame
    Roosevelt: gj paTTon
    paTTon: thnx
    Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
    Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
    Eisenhower: Nuts!
    benny-tow: wtf that mean?
    Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
    paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
    Stalin: rofl
    T0J0: HAHAHHAA
    Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
    Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
    *Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
    benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
    Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
    Stalin: OMG LMAO!
    Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
    *Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
    paTTon: hahahhah
    T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
    benny-tow: shut up noob
    Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
    paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
    Eisenhower: yah me too
    T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
    Eisenhower: fock u
    paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
    Stalin: go to hell lol
    paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
    Eisenhower: yah this is gay
    *Roosevelt has left the game.*
    Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
    Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
    *tru_m4n has joined the game.*
    tru_m4n: hi all
    T0J0: hey
    Stalin: sup
    Churchill: hi
    tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
    tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
    Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
    tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
    Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
    T0J0: wtf is nukes?
    T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
    *T0J0 has been eliminated.*
    *The Allied team has won the game!*
    Eisenhower: awesome!
    Churchill: gg noobs no re
    T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
    *T0J0 has left the game.*
    *Eisenhower has left the game.*
    Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
    Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
    tru_m4n: l8r all
    benny-tow: bye
    Churchill: l8r
    Stalin: fock u all
    tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
    *tru_m4n has left the game.*
    benny-tow: lololol u commie
    Churchill: ROFL
    Churchill: bye commie
    *Churchill has left the game.*
    *benny-tow has left the game.*
    Stalin: i hate u all fags
    *Stalin has left the game.*
    paTTon: lol no1 is left
    paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
    *paTTon has been eliminated.*
    paTTon: o sh1t!
    *paTTon has left the game.*

  122. TJefferson said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:16

    @JimmyMads It’s about militias! Whut moran would b cnfused by #2nd Am?

  123. smedley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:17

    @CmdrGuy

    Ha! Stpd Libs sd invdd rng cntry!

  124. @Troofie said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:18

    @Libs Bookmark it!

  125. The Red Badger of Courage said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:20

    Ole said,

    Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

  126. @GaryRuppert said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:21

    @Libs The fact is

  127. Troofie said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:24

    @Libs Republican supermajority 2010 #bookmark it

  128. Fats Durston said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:25

    In the same vein: WW2 as RTS

  129. Fats Durston said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:26

    Dammit, scooped!

  130. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:27

    @tailgunner hv u no sns dcency @ lng last lol

  131. dino goposaur said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:34

    you owe me a new keyboard as I just blorged coffee all over reading this. U win +100 internetz points.

  132. Looch said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:36

    @mooseburger nxt bksyng soon!
    @fanboi @mooseburger wher?
    @mooseburger @fanboi Trnton Lndfil Cntry Celeb n Swp mt!!!!11! c u ther!!! kthxbai

  133. @ishmael said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:42

    @ahab give it up stumpy that wale 2 big 4 u LOL

  134. kingubu said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:52

    @GACuster LOL injuns. brb.

    There’s a lot of great shit in this thread but this one made me bark like a startled Beagle.

  135. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:55

    Shit, oldster fail

  136. gob said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:56

    Um, it’s funny, but http://historicaltweets.com/ is pretty decent, too.

  137. El Cid said,

    January 6, 2010 at 18:59

    @Galilei u so rong dude skyman put sun rnd urf
    @Inqy eppur si muove btchz

  138. mmy said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:03

    BWayne Prnts ded. Tried to fite crym, got azz kikd. FAIL
    BWayne Mabbe i shud just die
    BWayne HOLY SHT
    BWayne BIGGEST FKN BAT EVAR

  139. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:04

    Um, it’s funny, but http://historicaltweets.com/ is pretty decent, too.

    @gob Taht’s so gai! LOL!!!1 We funnayr

  140. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:05

    @Protestants NOBODY SPECTS THE SPANISH INQZSHUN!

  141. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:15

    Navajo wind talking is killing prose

  142. Andrew Sullivan said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:16

    OMG i lafd so hard m buttplug popped out

  143. Looch said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:19

    @andrewsullivan d00d!1!! TMI nd i bl33ch

  144. Richard Cohen said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:26

    Not funny.

  145. smedley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:30

    @Richard(Shecky)Cohen

    Tht Colbert iz nt fny. I stl fnyst.

  146. El Cid said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:36

    yung fizzix guy says:
    chk ot new theeree at link:

    wolfman pauli says:
    ha not evn rong

  147. Whale Chowder said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:40

    @ollie @ronnie have prfct setup: sell g2a m1ssles 2 #iran then send $$ to c0n7r4s. wat cud go rong?

  148. El Cid said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:48

    @CIA hey we thru out ugglee monkey boy Hugo Chavez LOL!!11!!!
    @CarmonaBoyz no stil here dkhead came bak
    @CarmonaBoyz hey mah troops 1 floor b-lo u w/gunz
    @CIA gotta go need pass to Peru thxpls

  149. t4toby said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:50

    Holy shit, D. You just won 2010 and it’s only a few days old!

  150. Felonious Monk said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:51

    @AndyJackson D00d I ttly pwnzor’d teh 2nd nat bank 2day. Now tiem to get rid of sum fukken injuns.Trail of Tears, amirite? Tears of JOY!!1!!

  151. Ted the Slacker said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:52

    @CaptEdwardSmith oh okay u wanted to make bst meta4 evah and j cameron scrnplai :-)

  152. GAldridge said,

    January 6, 2010 at 19:58

    @ congrgation – brb, wetsuits & a dildo

  153. Elephant Butte said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:00

    @ Yoko: onoz!!

  154. smedley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:01

    @CColombo

    I cn c India frm my crws nst!!!!

  155. ScooterLibB said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:03

    @ america – LOL PARDONED ROFL

  156. VastCo-DeGAHma said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:04

    @CColombo god yr such fag sail 1 dam trip to ilandz u thnk yr hot sht
    @CColombo eat my wake bitch I opnd up half urf u posr

  157. MCMSteele said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:11

    @USpeeps – word! yo peeps, wutup?
    @USpeeps – hey guize, potato salad & chikkenz @ my place tonite!
    @USpeeps – why arent u here yet?
    @USpeeps – guize?
    @USpeeps – ZOMG nobodys coming ZOMG
    @USpeeps – WFT do i do w/ all this food?!?!
    @USpeeps – 8′(

  158. ACoulter said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:14

    sorry libz, cant talk now – busy selling soul 2 satan. kthxbai

  159. nero@roma said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:16

    @voxpopuli – free concert & weenieroast tonite downtown

  160. Turbine Yukon Palin said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:23

    Brilliant. I can’t do that well, but . . . (and hoping this formats)

    AbrahamThaMan: o sh!t!! gawd sez i got 2 kill mai son
    about 5000 years ago from web

    ItsIssac: @AbrahamThaMan wut?!
    about 5000 years ago from Echofon in reply to AbrahamThaMan

    AbrahamThaMan: @Issac lol nm, just ur peen
    about 5000 years ago from web

    ItsIssac: @AbrahamThaMan WUT?!?!?!
    about 5000 years ago from Echofon in reply to AbrahamThaMan

  161. jim said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:28

    Greeks @Troy – this siege is teh suxx0rz
    Troy @Greeks – LOL PWNT
    Greeks @Troy – OK u win
    Greeks @Troy – no hard feelingz d00d
    Greeks @Troy – here, u can even have a big wooden horsey
    Greeks @Troy – we give up – c u later, guyz
    Greeks @Troy – brb, sailing home
    Troy @Greeks – wow thats sure one honkin big horsey
    Troy @Greeks – zzz zzz zzz zzz …
    Troy @Greeks – OMGWTFBBQ
    Greeks @Troy – ROFL
    Greeks @Troy – im in yr base, burnin down yr buildingz

  162. John D. said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:29

    Let’s hear it for the Romans, folks:

    @Nero Like, OMG, the city’s totally on fieurr! LOL! Guess I’ll just play this fiddle for a while.

    @Caligula I’m gonna marry this horse, and you cn’t stop mee!!! Horses rule! Everybdy else sucks!!!

    @Ceasar Brutus, whut’chu gonna do wiff thet kniffe? Don’t choo stab at mee wiff that! LOL, you suck…

  163. MProust said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:52

    @ImmanuelKant Ur a rill pissant

  164. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 20:58

    @Claudius W-w-what do u mean, Mperor? LOL!!!!!!!!

  165. smedley said,

    January 6, 2010 at 21:04

    @Magellan’sCrew

    WTF u mean “no 1 wil remember us?”

  166. jim said,

    January 6, 2010 at 23:22

    nietzsche @socrates: u r such a bore
    socrates @nietzsche: NO U!

  167. actor212 said,

    January 6, 2010 at 23:57

    plato: @socrates DON’T DRINK TH…2 L8!

  168. Lurking Canadian said,

    January 7, 2010 at 5:00

    @Romeo: OMFG. Rosaline is totes HAWT. She is teh ONE!
    Posted during Act I.

    @Romeo: OMFG. Juliet is totes HAWT. She is teh ONE!
    Posted during Act III.

    @Montague: Holy shit, my son was an emo jackass.
    Posted after Act V.

    @Rosaline: Heard Rom dead. Capulet slut too. Dodged bullet there.
    Posted after Act V.

  169. whatevs said,

    January 7, 2010 at 9:29

    nietzsche @God U ded
    God @nietzsche U ded
    nietzsche @God got u first

  170. kc said,

    January 7, 2010 at 17:25

    GENIUS!

  171. actor212 said,

    January 7, 2010 at 22:09

    IsaDuncan @Desti The scarf. It shud be longer.

  172. GeneJockey said,

    January 7, 2010 at 22:21

    This was so good I showed it to my teenage son, while admonishing him not to share it with anyone.

    In retrospect, that last part might turn out counterproductive.

  173. chocolatepie said,

    January 7, 2010 at 22:43

    Who would have guessed that the Fuhrer was a fan of Fruits Basket.

    Kyou is the Jew of Fruits Basket fascism.

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