28
Consistency Is The Hobgoblin of Liberal “Minds”
Baron de Mouthbreathers de Enaro (1811)
Over at America’s Shittiest Website™, the reaction to the underpants bomber has been as swift as it was predictable. Naturally, because his flaming jockey shorts scared some people on the plane and has left right-wingers quaking with fear and soiling their own non-explosive underpants, this is the worst terrorist attack on American soil ever. And it’s completely Obama’s fault. In fact, the first thing Obama should now do is fire everyone in sight, admit that he’s the worst president ever, come back from Hawaii, and have his picture taken in the Oval Office while wearing sackcloth and ashes and apologizing profusely to the Dutch guy who burned his fingers and is getting paid the big bucks to do TV interviews.
Leading the charge, natch, is Andy McCarthy, who is dismayed that instead of whisking the underpants guy off to Gitmo to waterboard him for a couple of days, we are doing silly shit like filing indictments, holding judicial hearings, and giving him a lawyer.
The people now in charge of our government believe Clinton-era counterterrorism was a successful model. They start from the premise that terrorism is a crime problem to be managed, not a war to be won. …
Here, no thanks to the government, the plane was not destoyed [sic], and we won’t get to the bottom of the larger conspiracy (enabling the likes of Napolitano to say there’s no indication of a larger plot — much less one launched by an international jihadist enterprise) because the guy got to lawyer up rather than be treated like a combatant and subjected to lengthy interrogation. But the terrorist will be convicted at trial (this “case” tees up like a slam-dunk), so the administration will put it in the books as a success … just like the Clinton folks did after the ’93 WTC bombers and the embassy bombers were convicted. In their minds, litigation success equals national security success.
It is a dangerously absurd viewpoint.
Hey, SadlyNauts, let’s hop in our super-secret time machine, courtesy of Google, and take a peek at Andy McCarthy back when the best president ever after St. Ronnie was in office and knew how to put on his flight-suit get up and put the terrorists in their place:
John Ashcroft reminded Americans Monday of how effective the government’s post-9/11 effort to thwart Islamic militancy has been, announcing the indictment of a second conspirator in the most audacious plot for a second wave of aerial terror. … The indictment, returned by a federal grand jury in Boston, alleges that Saajid Mohammed Badat conspired with already-convicted “shoe bomber” Richard Reid to destroy American aircraft in flight. … [T]he American charges are a powerful reminder that aggressive domestic law enforcement remains a key component in the Bush administration’s comprehensive approach to fighting what Norman Podhoretz, among others, so aptly calls “World War IV.” … Most importantly, Badat is a dangerous terrorist looking to harm the U.S. and its allies. The looming American charges will underscore the importance of ensuring that he is duly hammered in the British system.
Surely that can’t be the same person writing both those things, can it? Sadly, er, yes.
Of course, Jonah dislodged his snout from the holiday feedsack long enough to call for Janet Napolitano’s resignation. How dare she continue to hold her job when the TSA didn’t stop a guy from getting on a plane in Lagos and connecting to a flight in the United States. How dare she didn’t make sure that the Dutch check everybody’s underpants before they get on flights to America. How dare she continue to breathe?
I would wager that not one percent of Americans think the system is “working” when terrorists successfully get bombs onto planes
So let’s set our flux capacitor to January 7, 2002, just days after Richard Reid snuck a shoe bomb onto a plane and see Jonah calling for Tom Ridge’s head on a platter. Oh dear. Not a word about shitcanning anyone in the Bush administration. Instead we have Jonah making the deliriously insane argument that the Reid incident is an argument for racial profiling because had Reid been an Arab named Mohammed racial profiling might have kept him off of the flight from Paris. No seriously.
I think a fun project for the holidays will be for us all to put on our snuggies, fire up Teh Great Gazoogle, and go back to the days after the shoe-bombing attempt and dig up everything these yahoos had to say about that. It will certainly be more fun than watching a ball drop in Times Square.
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:28
In fairness, under Clinton-era counterterrorism, we had 2 World Trade Centers and a 5 sided Pentagon and 0 airliners hijacked into targets, but this isn’t to diminish George W. Bush’s ability to KeepUsSafe for 7 years and 4 months apart from that city with corpses floating in the streets and all which is Al Gore’s fault for having a big house.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:34
And don’t forget, Clinton failed to keep us safe from Timothy McVeigh, Eric Rudolph and various other people who differed from the teabaggers only in their ability to put their money where their mouths were.*
(*Veiled PENIS reference? Memo to self: call Napolitano re: investigation.)
PeeJ said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:35
all which is Al Gore’s fault for having a big house.
? I thought it was because he’s fat.
FYWP Also.
Jennifer said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:36
The wingnut refusal to face up to the fact that it was one of their own who presided over the worst attack on civilians on US soil EVAR reminds me of that saying, “so, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”
Commander Coriander Salamander said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:40
“Surely that can’t be the same person writing both those things, can it?”
Not embracing that concept is the reason why you’ll never get any gigs on Sunday morning teevee. Sucker.
PeeJ said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:41
To be fair, they get their
ideas talking pointsbullshit from the like of Pete Hoekstra who sez it’s Obama’s fault because they don’t call it terrorism anymore. Cuz, when you don’t blather on about a GWOT incessantly while stupidly doing your best to make things worse THEN THEY WIN OMG I SHAT MYSELF!!1!Mr. Wonderful said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:41
He has a big house BECAUSE he’s fat. If he wasn’t fat he would have a small house.
Elephant Butte said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:44
Anthrax also too.
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:45
But John Edwards has a big house! And he is just now getting fat!
N__B said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:46
He has a big house BECAUSE he’s fat. If he wasn’t fat he would have a small house.
You mean he got stuck, a la Pooh, and the house had to be expanded to fit him? Damn.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:50
In other news, Congress’ favorite IRA-fucker Peter King is comparing Obama not having a de facto press conference about this to Bush not holding one after Katrina hit. HMMM, WHAT POSSIBLE DIFFERENCE MIGHT THERE BE BETWEEN THE TWO?
Elephant Butte said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:53
Loaded Pants -2006
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NWRhNDNhMDU1YmE2MDQ4ZGE0NDAwZmNmZTJlMzJlZTg=
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:56
It’s pretty impressive how many piss-ant minor incidents right wingers compare to Katrina. Yeah, it’s awful that some dude at Ft Hood went crazy and shot a number of people and military members there, but it’s not a whole city drowning with rescue resources being kept away.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
December 28, 2009 at 19:57
@El Cid: Yes, but you’re not using their darkie-to-Real-Murkin conversion chart. The body count is closer to breaking even once you calculate that.
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:01
In fairness, Republicans actually admire the whole Katrina failure of the levees incident for clearing so many black people out of New Orleans, so it must actually be painful for them to refer to Katrina as a bad thing. The only time they do so is, of course, comparing how Democrats whined about Katrina to whatever horrific incident of testicle-burning among Nigerian would be air terrorists.
Sirius Lunacy said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:05
…if I were a Democrat I would keep asking “What the Heck ever happened to the anthrax attack investigation?”
As a Democrat I do keep asking that. Wingnuts, however have an amazing ability to filter out what they don’t want to hear. Also, whenever a wingnut throws out the old line about W protecting us from terror since 9-11 I pull out my best TV commercial duck impression and yell “ANTHRAAAAX!” But again, they just can’t seem to grasp what I’m trying to tell them.
Felonious Monk said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:08
Well I don’t know, Jonah. Given the MILLIONS of planes that take off EVERY FUCKING DAY without incident, I guess you could call me part of that one percent.
Also, reading early-decade neocon claptrap is truly sickening. Yes, they are all still small-minded idiots, but at least they’re not small-minded idiots babbling in major publications about larger conspiracies and World War IV, with an administration giving them the tools to actually start it. Count your blessings, etc.
Thomas said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:13
And of course water boarding and the myriad of other rights abuses committed by the previous administration obviously kept this guy from becoming a terrorist in the first place.
Nom de Plume said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:20
The wingnut refusal to face up to the fact that it was one of their own who presided over the worst attack on civilians on US soil EVAR
“Face up” to it? They have officially wiped their minds of it.
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:24
OT: Anti-anthropogenic global warming denialist gets his ass handed to him on Australian television. (Watch / download video here.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:29
The people now in charge of our government believe Clinton-era counterterrorism was a successful model.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Wasn’t it? After all, no terrorist attacks on US soil, yadayadayada…
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:32
just like the Clinton folks did after the ‘93 WTC bombers and the embassy bombers were convicted. In their minds, litigation success equals national security success.
Andy?
Cuz I know you lurk these threads…
Two words for ya: Ramzi Yousef.
That “litigation” stopped an even dozen further terror plots, including an assassination of your precious Pope, the bombing of the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels, the plot to blow up 7 transPacfic airliners simultaneously AND the Milennium bomb plot.
You may Google it.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:34
the Reid incident is an argument for racial profiling because had Reid been an Arab named Mohammed racial profiling might have kept him off of the flight from Paris
So let me get this straight: Reid is evidence FOR racial profiling because he DIDN’T have an Arabic name?
g said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:37
Pete Hoekstra who sez it’s Obama’s fault because they don’t call it terrorism anymore
Yeah, that’s right. This guy decided to try to blow up a plane because of the Obama administration’s rhetorical style.
How would that work, BTW? Was it the belligerence of Dubya’s “Bring it on”iness that scared the terraists away?
Was it a magic word kind of spell like “Mother May I?” the word “terrorist” somehow froze and paralyzed the Evil Doers?
And now they’re all, “Well, he doesn’t call us terrorists so now we can go blow things up again.”
is that how this works? Cuz if so, I got a whole bunch of magical words to try out on the Republicans.
unclemike said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:49
So let me get this straight: Reid is evidence FOR racial profiling because he DIDN’T have an Arabic name?
Central to his point. Also. Too.
pat said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:53
I noticed on the previous thread that someone mentioned reading somewhere that the bomber had been engrossed in the movie until they were almost ready to land, and I HAVE A CONFESSION.
That was me that mentioned that. And I MADE IT UP.
Bwhahahaha. Is this how outlandish rumors get started?
Or is it true, what I said, in which case I am PSYCHIC!!!11111
g said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:55
I like to watch Top Chef on a flight, and damned if they don’t always cut it off just before they reveal the winner.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:58
That was me that mentioned that. And I MADE IT UP.
Oh really? Well, what if the movie was “The Bourne Identity”? Or “72 Virgins Escape Guantanamo Bay”? Or “American Khlav Kalesh”?
Huh? Ever think of that, smartypants?
NutellaonToast said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:02
“I think a fun project for the holidays will be for us all to put on our snuggies, fire up Teh Great Gazoogle, and go back to the days after the shoe-bombing attempt and dig up everything these yahoos had to say about that.”
I’m gonna drink instead. It will have the same affect vis-a-vis brain cells.
vaara said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:04
OT, but the GayPatriot crowd, whose new lobbying group “GOProud” is grudgingly being allowed to attend CPAC, but were almost prevented from doing so, even though they are SPONSORING it, and they’re going to have to STFU about gay issues, and may perhaps even be forced to wear duct tape over their mouths, which will significantly affect any business they might transact in the Larry Craig Gloryhole Booth, but I digress, and please excuse the serial commas, are are doing their “Super-Duper Best Conservative Diva (Bl)Ogress thingie again.
http://www.gaypatriot.net/2009/12/28/2010-grande-conservative-blogress-diva-official-ballot/
As of now, the Shrieking Harpy™ has a landslide majority.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:06
Here’s the difference between Reid and this case:
In Reid’s case, the wingnuts knew he’d be given a fair trial, sentenced and convicted.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:07
http://www.gaypatriot.net/2009/12/28/2010-grande-conservative-blogress-diva-official-ballot/
Fuck. I so wanted to nominate Bruce for his own award.
laym said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:10
Shorter McCarthy:
I thought that “argument” was supposed to be dressed up a bit more. Obfuscated by Orwellian language to disguise the fact that the writer prefers bombs to laws.
Citizen_X said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:14
Jonah dislodged his snout from the holiday feedsack
Something I am NOT doing, even if there is some idiot in the next seat lighting his crotch on fire. Gluttony ho-ho-ho!
creature said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:16
Oh, boy, here we go again with the nutty-ness. Pun intended. The sooner we can get the GitmoGang into the Illinois federal pen, the sooner the wingnut distraction will focus on that, and it will boost the popcorn and underwear stocks through the roof! Gitmo can get turned into a big gambling resort, waiting for Castro’s demise and- PROFIT!!! How’s that for lemon/lemonade? Economic recovery AND populist entertainment. Probably ponies, too. Dammit.
chocolatepie said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:33
I’m still not entirely convinced “bomb in his underpants” isn’t a euphemism for POOP.
Another Kiwi said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:39
Is that a bomb in your undies or are you …
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:44
I’ve got a bomb in my underpants and I’m willing to use it!
laym said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:46
If we outlaw underpants, only terrorists will have underpants.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:53
Actually, I hear Yemen is a hotbed for novelty sales, like X-ray spectacles, fake dog poop and explosive underpants.
Maybe he was just attending a Shriner’s convention and forgot to remove his novelty undies?
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:53
Boxers, briefs, or plastique?
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:54
“Exploding underwear? They told me it was edible underwear, and I was hungry! It was a long flight!”
Loneoak said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:54
I’m still not entirely convinced “bomb in his underpants” isn’t a euphemism for POOP.
So it was a dirty bomb?
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:56
Does this mean the parents can get out of changing the kids’ diapers by calling in the bomb squad?
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:57
Dear God,
I know we just passed Christmas and all, and you might not be in a generous mood, but I was wondering: could you please make sure that Bob Owens takes the opportunity to rail about the TSA clamping down on the rights of Americans to bear arms on planes in the last hour of flight?
I could use a good laugh.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 21:59
Boxers, briefs, or plastique?
“Peeessst, Achmed…just don’t say commando, a’ight? We don’ want them theenkeeng we’re gay! Not that there’s anything wrong weeth that!”
Dan Someone said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:04
We are apparently now living in San Marcos.
The good news is that my children, who are under 16 years old, are now 16 years old. And I’m looking forward to learning Swedish.
Sirius Lunacy said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:12
Exploding briefs!
S. cerevisiae said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:13
Bbbbbutt I thought America had the bestest justice system in the world? Or does that only count for drug users? Why do the teabaggers hate America?
OT – thanks El Cid for the link to the Pilmer evisceration. Beautiful.
Sirius Lunacy said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:15
Exploding briefs!
The exploding briefs seem to have broken my link last time.
Plus FYWP also.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:24
Exploding lap top!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:25
pat said,
December 28, 2009 at 20:53
I noticed on the previous thread that someone mentioned reading somewhere that the bomber had been engrossed in the movie until they were almost ready to land, and I HAVE A CONFESSION.
That was me that mentioned that. And I MADE IT UP.
===================================================
Well, pat (if that is your real name), the fact is it isn’t important whether or not you made it up.
What is important is that (some) people believed it.
~
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:27
By the way, someone ought to write to this blogger and tell him, “Thanks a lot, dickhead!”
*veiled exploding panties reference*
Tacitus Voltaire said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:54
bah! we spit on the grandmother of your lowly clothes bombers with their shoes and underwear!
behold the power of the nose bomber! run in fear from the penis bomber! hah! he will explode your panties for certain, citizen!
Tom M said,
December 28, 2009 at 22:58
Don’t forget that Obama didn’t raise the terror alert from Orange-a-tang because of this incident. The slacker!
Oh, wait, there’s no election near Ridge claims… he was pressured by …members of Bush’s Cabinet to raise the nation’s terror alert level just before the 2004 presidential election.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:19
behold the power of the nose bomber!
HA! I see your nose bomber with our Jatravartid Handkerchief!
slippy said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:19
Let’s not forget . . . what was the response from Republicans after George W. Bush was handed the following on August 6th, 2001:
Only to go the fuck back on vacation for the rest of the month while 19 jackholes with boxcutters finalized their plans to ruin the lives of thousands of Americans.
Did any prominent Republican look at this, add 2+2, possibly scan through the text that I’ve helpfully bolded here, and go “Jesus Christ, it was sitting right in front of him for a whole MONTH!! The intelligence agencies SPELLED IT OUT FOR THE DUMBASS AND HE DID NOTHING.”
No. Sadly, no.
The only reasonable conclusion is, that Republicans — every last one of them — are gigantic, gaping, stinking assholes. Who don’t give a damn about the deaths of American citizens unless it serves them politically.
Fuck them all.
Dot said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:23
I hate Illinois Nazis..err, the corner folks…
zeppo said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:25
I was pondering the proposed response by the TSA (which has apparently just been downgraded to “at the descretion of the flight crew”) to make everyone sit in their seats and not access any of their in flight luggage for the last hour of the flight…
I don’t suppose anyone at the TSA might have pointed out that terrorists might just conclude they should light their underpants up two hours before landing instead of just one?
Personally, I think we should just go invade Iraq again.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:26
I don’t suppose anyone at the TSA might have pointed out that terrorists might just conclude they should light their underpants up two hours before landing instead of just one?
Yes, but if we don’t light them there, they’ll light them here.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:27
The elephant in the room that none of these bungholes wishes to acknowledge is the complete mishandling/cessation of the investigation into the Cole bombing, and the role the Yemeni government may have played in it. Of course, any detailed investigation of an attack plotted in Yemen would have embarrassed Saudi officials, and, by extension, Bush family members.
PeeJ said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:40
Source of exploding underwear?
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:42
They’re back to gay-baiting each other.
GOP 2010: “I swur Ah ain’t no dam fag. Vote mee.”
There are many, many plus sides to this story as well as a horrifying downer (any public attack on homosexuals): I don’t think anybody on this shitbag’s campaign is going to be able to remain in any closet whatsoever, no matter how deeply they’ve buried the wetsuits & dildos.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:44
“I helped expose many of Barack Obama’s lies in 2008,” the ad goes.
Iris is this guy’s campaign manager?
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:44
Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True needs to tell us how he knows so damn much about who’s homosexual.
PeeJ said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:47
ack Roeser says there is a ’solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual.
Who needs rumors? He’s a Republican, aint that enough to make one suspect?
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:48
Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals
Is this some new zombie defense strategy we’ve not heard about?
zeppo said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:50
Maybe everyone’s attention will be diverted by this stupid but very dangerous situation regarding bombs on airplanes, such the House and Senate can come to a reasonable compromise on healthcare reform and get it passed while all the mouthbreathers are being hysterical and demanding that Janet Nepolitano be fired, beheaded or burned at the stake, whatever it is they are demanding at this point.
Just a thought.
zeppo said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:50
If there’s anything worse than zombies, it’s gay zombies….
zeppo said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:51
BTW, what is a “solid rumor?”
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:54
BTW, what is a “solid rumor?”
A Republican heterosexual erection.
El Cid said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:54
Generally it refers to rumors with melting points well below room temperature.
actor212 said,
December 28, 2009 at 23:55
If there’s anything worse than zombies, it’s gay zombies….
Nope. So not going there. No way am I going to talk about sucking both heads dry…
Major Kong said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:01
Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals.
It’s horrible! They’re redecorating everything!
Undead Twice Removed Sexy Zombie said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:07
The elephant in the room that none of these bungholes wishes to acknowledge is the complete mishandling/cessation of the investigation into the Cole bombing, and the role the Yemeni government may have played in it.
Um, scuse me but this Cola thingy happened like a bazillion years ago, and it’s confusing, and this Muslim black guy is doing bad things NOW. You can’t seriously be trying to tell us that stuff that happened that far back could be influencing current events! Haha, I snickerdoodle at you, loony lib.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:07
Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals.
Clearly, if politics were a chess game, you’d recognize this as the Queens Gambit.
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:09
By the way, someone ought to write to this blogger and tell him, “Thanks a lot, dickhead!”
You have to love people who complain about how stupid people are ruining everything but who themselves don’t even check Snopes to see if their bullshit “supporting
anecdotesevidence” are true. “Some lady dried her poodle in the microwave! This is why I can’t get good microwave burritos anymore! People are so dumb!”El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:11
First, he’ll just “surround” himself with homosexuals. But you won’t be laughing when he forms a giant homosexual exoskeleton super-robot to crush all those Chicago skyscrapers for his masters Bill Ayers and the supervillain known as The Comptroller.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:13
Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals.
I think Spock and McCoy are just bro-mos….
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:14
Kirk / Martin slash campaign literature?
chocolatepie said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:14
Not only is evidence for pussies, but everyone I know dries their poodles in the microwave without any problems, so this stupid lady just ruined it for everyone.
I also hate seat belt laws, hard hat rules, government regulation of prescription drugs, and anything else that prevents me from removing myself from the gene pool in the most efficient way possible.
zeppo said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:15
El Cid, did you used to do a lot of drugs back in the 60′s? ‘Cause, you know, that’s really kind of weird.
zeppo said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:17
But, I admit, your vision does have some rather esthetically pleasing aspects to it.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:20
homosexual exoskeleton super-robot
Velvet Voltron?
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:25
I have not yet done a lot of drugs in the ’60s, but I plan to.
Snarla said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:26
What was the point of those dry runs with the “full attire” and the “shut up, infidel dog!” if the guy just gets on the plane and sits quietly, even when he’s on fire?
How’s a big he-man like Tedd Petruna supposed to know who to frog-march down the aisle even though he’s not on the plane?
Knights in Black Satin said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:35
Another elephant hogging the room is our bombing Yemen civilians a few days before the UnderPantsBomber hatched his, ah- plot.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:42
Well, just imagine how much worse they would have done had we not bombed them a few days before!!! Huhhh???
g said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:49
What was the point of those dry runs with the “full attire” and the “shut up, infidel dog!”
Yeah. If I were doing a dry run on a plane, I’d totally wear a kheffiya and glare at the Stewardii. No one would guess what I was up to.
Tacitus Voltaire said,
December 29, 2009 at 0:56
“Mark Kirk should tell Republican voters the truth.”
dangerous suggestions like this should lead to a visit from the secret service
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:01
What have you loony libs done to the cool coach?
Are you proud of yourselves?
Chris Vosburg said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:05
Well, no one else has stepped up, so I claim frist! with the appellation of “pantload bomber” for our perp. Opens up all kinds of funny wordplay as well, like “alas no payload in his pantload” etc.
Also, wait’ll they get a load of how much hash Shuringa smuggled in, the little dutch scamp.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:09
I think I prefer Roy’s coining of crotch-bomber in this case.
And the gay zombie thing? There’s nothing wrong with that. You people have got to lay off the undead hate.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:11
Big Bad Badoodle Bastard.
justme said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:14
Um. HelooOOoo,
Suluuuuuu.
lobbey said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:21
Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals.
Captain Kirk?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:22
Big Bad Badoodle Bastard.
WOLVERINES!!!!GATORS!!!!Proper Gander said,
December 29, 2009 at 1:57
I am suggesting a new flag for the Republican Party/Greater Wingnuttia and I need your support. I believe that the hopes, beliefs and aspirations of these salt-of-the-Earth people would best be symbolized by a pair of soiled tighty-whities on a pole. Please join me in contacting your Conservative officials, bloggers, and family members to ensure that the world can see exactly what our conservative citizens are made of.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 2:16
Some DFH Frontpager at GOS links to this interesting report from ABC
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/men-believed-northwest-airlines-plot-set-free/story?id=9434065
some dumbass put this at the bottom of an old thread also too
jim said,
December 29, 2009 at 2:41
I’m quite partial to UnitBomber myself, but YMMV.
As soon as someone can convince the wingnut community that the Interwebz do not in fact operate under the same “Erase At Random / After 45 Seconds / If It Weakens My Case” model that their own brains seem to favor, such heartbreaking oopsy-daisies as McCarthy’s 180 on indictments of terrorists will become a thing of the past … until they forget & do it again.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 2:46
The Minutepants Militia.
animus said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:18
Bush would never have released those guys to the Saudis if Obama hadn’t been black.
Sheesh said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:24
As I was saying, the ones we released from Gitmo were the goat-herders and shit that weren’t actually terrorists; That’s what Bush’s people said, anyhow. Remember?
It’s really gonna suck if it turns out this crotch-bomber was just some average nerd that got suckered into this by some assholes that got radicalized by their unplanned, Quran-flushing gitmo vacations.
Looch said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:30
some assholes that got radicalized by their unplanned, Quran-flushing gitmo vacations.
What? The hell you say! The idea that someone held for years without due process, tortured and dehumanized would be radicalized against the society that did such things to him? The gall of such a suggestion!
Good day, sir!
I said, good day!
wiley said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:30
According to that article Elephant Butte linked to, the two Yemenis released from Gitmo were sent to Saudi Arabia for art-therapy afterward.
Looch said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:35
“Crotch bomber” is good.
He tried to ignite a “gonad grenade” perhaps?
Or a “sack charge?”
Was he a tea’n'tea bagger?
I crack myself up, I do.
What?
Looch said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:40
until they forget & do it again.
Kinda like that old classic: “Who you gonna believe? Me, or your lyin’ eyes?”
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:46
I would feel bad about someone politicizing Bush’s release of those guys to an art therapy class, except , well……..
I guess I’m not a good person.
wiley said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:49
I have to suspect that “art therapy in Saudi Arabia” is a euphemism.
kg said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:56
I think the amalgamated super homosexual is the theme of a Clive Barker short story, “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Books_of_Blood#In_the_Hills.2C_the_Cities” /or close enuf, I guess.
a different mikey said,
December 29, 2009 at 3:59
“Who you gonna believe? Me, or your lyin’ eyes?”
Please do not associate one of the greatest lines ever with these gits.
Thank you.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:03
Clive Barker was clearly part of the plot. I suspect Bill Ayers was the actual author.
Loneoak said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:11
Dong detonator.
ABC has pictures of the actual … ahem … package.
Looch said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:20
Please do not associate one of the greatest lines ever with these gits.
Thank you.
Won’t happen again, I promise.
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:30
According to that article Elephant Butte linked to, the two Yemenis released from Gitmo were sent to Saudi Arabia for art-therapy afterward.
Performance art. They wanted to film themselves painting naked camel odalisques using lady-hair brushes, but exploding pants was the only one that got NEA grant money.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:33
And thus the worlds of Bill Ayers and Karen Finley become one.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:39
Can anyone make out the brand of briefs in those ABC photos?
A ruler to provide scale?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:48
The fact is, Orly Taitz makes a good case for pushing the reset button.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:49
I agree. Any reality which would have Orly Taitz in it has clearly jumped the shark and is in desperate need of having its Etch-a-Sketch shaken upside down.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 29, 2009 at 4:54
The fact is, Obsama is an illegetumate president, who is a Marxist from Kenya and hate America. Also, Bill Ayers and ACORN and Chicago.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 5:01
the fack is, i get even drinker the more I schmart
Gary Ruppert said,
December 29, 2009 at 5:14
the fact is, and hitler
owlbear1 said,
December 29, 2009 at 5:36
Obama’s failure appears to be not holding a press conference in order to tell Goppers the puddles filling their shoes is proof they are braver than everybody else.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:02
Ok, so they have underpants bomb technology. I’m unimpressed, because they totally don’t have American pop culture cred. Talk about your cluelessness.
If dude had stood up, yelled, “BITCH, I got yer FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY RIGHT HERE!!!!” while simultaneously grabbing his crotch and detonating the bomb, like he would have in a Hollywood blockbusters, we could have had a 3-picture deal.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:05
Better yet, he should have stood up and shouted, “Someone set us up the bomb!!! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!!”
Substance McGravitas said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:07
Terroristonia must be bombed!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:18
When underpants are outlawed, only outlaws will have underpants.
~
Sen. David Vitter said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:21
Clearly, terrorist underpants are a threat to our nation and should be banned and replaced with some to-be-dia…I mean, determined alternative.
Moe Seisley said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:28
If they add those new scanners to the airport, the kind that CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR CLOTHES, I will have to stop wearing my lucky (I Said Lucky!) Spiderman pajamas underneath my charcoal worsted suit.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:32
We had a Unibomber; now we have the Undiesbomber.
An Underpants Bomber is even lamer than a lot of the shit the Bush administration wet-dreamed about in public. Lamer than “mobile biological weapons labs” or even “remote-controlled model airplanes of DEATH BY ANTHRAX!!1!!!”.
Ok, not lamer than that last one.
kate said,
December 29, 2009 at 6:48
“Good day sir. I am Ahkmed Abjerbajaweed of the Republic of Nigeria, I am a soldier for the fight of justice and freedom in the name of Allah. I am offering myself up for the fight for justice and freedom across the world.
I have a plan but in order for this plan to be successful, I will need some sincerely help from you. If you will please forward your banking account information, your name and your cheque routing numbers, I will at the proscribed time, send to you a cheque for 2 Billion USD funds to your bank on the proscribed day.
All that I ask is that you take this cheque to your bank to have cashed and wire transfer the funds back to me. In the name of Allah you may keep for yourself one half of these funds and forward the rest to me. At that time, upon the receipt of funds, I will proceed to insert a bomb in an important place on an American airline flight.
You will not only be 1 B USD richer my friend and compatriot, but you and I will have also succeeded in reducing the number of infidels on this planet.
I await the funds, please forward them by wire, using the code word, “underpants”.
Thank you, in the name of Allah!”
And the rest is history.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:05
Wasn’t dude just the slightest bit concerned about what he was gonna do with 72 virgins in heaven after blowing off his junk?
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:07
Off topic but to die for…
Pit Bull Sharky with Chicks and Cat.
gainsayer said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:07
When underpants are outlawed, only outlaws will have underpants.
Da gummint can take my underwear when they pry it from my cold, dead, er, hands.
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:10
We had a Unibomber; now we have the Undiesbomber.
How does a terrorist who blows up his own dick benefit in Osama’s heaven of sexually available virgins? Or are new peepees provided?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:20
Now it can be said that Kim Jong Il is not the only guy with a dong bomb.
Telling it like it is said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:20
Here it is:
Jonah Goldberg is a retarded waste of flabby skin.
Sheesh said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:29
I don’t know of any religious belief in the afterlife that includes retaining your disfigurement in life for eternity. Where does this meme come from?
I thought the standard operating definition for Merkin pop-religion was that Gramps could walk in heaven, and getting blown-up saving your buddies from a grenade didn’t leave you a bucket o’ gibs at the pearly gates.
justme said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:33
It’s heaven, folks. They probably told the poor simp he’ll get 72 new peepees, one for each virgin. While ungainly, it makes about as much sense as anything else.
John Revolta said,
December 29, 2009 at 7:46
(this “case” tees up like a slam-dunk)
Yeah, it’s a home run on the 50-yard line.
Also.
Underpants Bombing Gnome said,
December 29, 2009 at 8:05
Phase One: Bomb Underpants
Phase Two: ???
Phase Three:
Profit!Terror!Also, the phrase “Republican Party homosexual club” belongs in the Department of Redundancy Department. Also. (Unless, of course, the author tried to put the first two words in strikethough text.)
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:00
“When underpants are outlawed, only outlaws will have underpants.”
You could make money selling t-shirts and bumper stickers with that.
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:02
Also,
Is that a bomb in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:02
“When underpants are outlawed, only outlaws will have underpants.”
I can see it now, the police will be saying, “Come out with your pants down!”
I think Beavis uttered that during his “Cornholio” phase.
Alicia Morgan said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:09
Okay. Because of the Shoe Bomber, we are required to remove our shoes to get through security.Now, because of the Underwear Bomber, does this mean we will all have to remove our underwear to get through security?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:32
Now, because of the Underwear Bomber, does this mean we will all have to remove our underwear to get through security?
Depends on the screener… giggity giggity giggity!
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:33
I’m glad to be a liberal commando, if you know what I mean.
Hope that isn’t an obvious, low-hanging gona.. er, groaner that’s been dangled countless times on the thread already, but I’m too spent for even a brief probe.
justme said,
December 29, 2009 at 9:53
OTbutOMG.
From TBogg…
Teh Malkinthing is going to be taking call-in questions. I wonder if one could give her a big enough aneurysm that her head would actually pop.
Chris said,
December 29, 2009 at 10:22
“They start from the premise that terrorism is a crime problem to be managed, not a war to be won. …”
It IS a crime, not a war. Show me one single terrorist campaign in history that was defused through *military* means? We didn’t declare war on the Ku Klux Klan, or on the left-wing radicals of the 1970s and 1980s. The British never declared war on the Thuggee.
In fact, using the military to fight terrorism has usually made the problem worse – ask the French in Algeria, or the Israelis in Lebanon and the territories. Hell, Northern troops in the South during Reconstruction didn’t stop the KKK either.
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 10:35
Now, because of the Underwear Bomber, does this mean we will all have to remove our underwear to get through security?
Just don’t show up at the airport and tell security you’re travelling “commando”. They might take it the wrong way.
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
December 29, 2009 at 10:39
They start from the premise that terrorism is a crime problem to be managed, not a war to be won.
The lamest thing about current Democrats is that they treat modern Republicanism as a war to be won, and not a crime to be managed.
Sheesh said,
December 29, 2009 at 11:15
Hey Enraged Bull Limpet,
The lamest thing about current Democrats is that they treat modern Republicanism as a war to be won, and not a crime to be managed.
You’ve won this thread.
NEXT THREAD, PLZKTHX!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 11:16
In fact, using the military to fight terrorism has usually made the problem worse
Yeah, one doesn’t swat mosquitoes with sledgehammers… unless one is a neocon.
M. Bouffant said,
December 29, 2009 at 11:27
I’m too spent for even a brief probe.
I’ve heard this a lot lately.
Saint Peter said,
December 29, 2009 at 12:09
I thought the standard operating definition for Merkin pop-religion was that Gramps could walk in heaven, and getting blown-up saving your buddies from a grenade didn’t leave you a bucket o’ gibs at the pearly gates.
Hey babe, it’s Heaven. Whatever floats your boat.
Barry Gibs said,
December 29, 2009 at 13:23
I have no actual comment, just a smart-ass internets handle.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 13:28
It will certainly be more fun than watching a ball drop in Times Square.
Veiled teabagging reference?
animus said,
December 29, 2009 at 13:34
In Soviet Yemen, underpants explode you!
Not soon enough?
animus said,
December 29, 2009 at 13:45
It was Katrina that scared off the terrorists. Once they saw that even the destruction of an entire city wouldn’t get Bush to give a damn, they realized that there was no point in attacking the USA. But now they think they can get to Obama. That’s why he’s moved so quickly to show that he hates the poor. The health care bill will be his greatest victory in the war on some terrorists.
Patriotic Freedom For America said,
December 29, 2009 at 15:18
HEY LIBS HOWS THAT HOPE AND CHANGE GOING YOUR BOY IS GOING DOWN COS HE LET A TERRORIST IN TO THE HOMNELAND THAT IS A MAJOR FAIL BUSH WOULD NEVER HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 15:24
BUSH WOULD NEVER HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN
Except, you know, he did.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
December 29, 2009 at 15:50
“HE LET A TERRORIST IN TO THE HOMNELAND”
That’s a weird nym for a Dutchman.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 16:01
Y’know, there’s these odd brown stains in those undies…
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 16:59
Catafight At The Corner!
Catafight At The Corner!
Steerpike said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:30
” “Alleged…” “suspect…” “charged…” – because this is no different from a punk holding up a gas station, right? In all their alleged allegedness, this Administration has an allergy to the concept of war”
Because we should absolutely go to war RIGHT NOW and bomb the living shit out of Afghanipakiraqiranistan!!!1!!one!!eleventyone!!!
I have to admit, I do like “Kinckerbomber”, though. You guys all missed that one.
N__B said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:32
I do like “Kinckerbomber”, though. You guys all missed that one.
He missed an easy lay-up while wearing pantaloons? Seen it before.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:35
Steer, that’s the whole thread that they forgot to pick up on in their semantic arguments.
If you assume we’ve been at “war” with these people, like we were with the Chermans in WWII, then where is the battlefield?
The deck of a plane? Iraq? Afghanistan?
Are they seriously suggesting that we no longer have to distinguish between a man on a flight, possibly deranged, and an abortion clinic bomber?
Is reality finally setting in on these asshats?
Done Wid Dat said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:42
It’s clear as day that BHO instructed his Nigerian nephew to do this dastardly deed in his tightie-whities. Loads of people spotted AirForce One flying away from Schipol Airport just before the plane took off for Detroit. Clearly, BHO provided his Nigerian nephew with the explosives, along with instructions on how to set them off. Can BHO be blamed for his Nigerian nephew’s failure to do the deed correctly? Well, yes and no, in that BHO can be blamed for everything all at once.
And btw, it was Tiger Woods playing golf in Hawaii… yeah, I know, all these half-breeds look alike, so dastardly BHO really pulled, ya know, the wool over our eyes on that one!! He is THAT eeeevul.
So, ya know, all these conservatards getting their tightie-whities in a bunch? They’re right, as always: it’s ALL Obummer’s fault. The end.
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:42
Well, duh! It’s anywhere brown people refuse to act just like Americans and/or succumb to our demands!
That’s the easy part.
It’s knowing when the war is over that’s tricky, and one they never seem able to answer.
Well, that and why, if this truly is a war for our very existence, they are too fucking cowardly to fight in it.
Watching them squirm around that one provides some really great entertainment.
One Of The Goddamn Batman's Secret Identities Is Senator Blutarsky said,
December 29, 2009 at 17:59
Roy Edroso points out (last link) that DoughPants ran a short clip of Kevin Bacon’s ROTC character in Animal House yelling “All is well!” shortly before being trampled at the end of the flick. Because, obviously, a dude in a military uniform is a perfect stand-in for the civilian (and *cough cough* probably lesbian*cough*) Janet Napolitano.
Let’s see… guy in uniform, but not actually in the military, saying that everything’s OK now, when it obviously isn’t… deja vu sense… tingling!
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 18:15
guy in uniform, but not actually in the military, saying that everything’s OK now, when it obviously isn’t
Blart!
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 18:40
Y’know, giving this some thought, especially after reading the Edroso piece that GDBM linked to, it strikes me that conservatives can’t conceive of a world where America is not universally loved, much less one where we have so eroded our international standing over the past eight years that we might actually, you know, have pissed off more than one group of people, all of whom might be gunning for us in a loose-if-interdependent web of unacknowledged coordination.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 19:08
In a related story, Hamas has announced it is changing the name of its organization to “Hanes”.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 19:17
Oily Taitz are oily
Damn. I really wish I hadn’t read this.
PeeJ said,
December 29, 2009 at 19:19
Instead, the authorities, having issued the Knickerbomber … now allow him to lawyer up and ensure that we’ll never know who he knew in Yemen or anywhere else.
Officer: Ze papers say you have been treated well. You must sign ze papers.
Prisoner: I cannot sing the papers.
Officer: Und vy cannot you sign ze papers?
Prisoner: Because you have broken my fingers.
S. cerevisiae said,
December 29, 2009 at 19:40
I had the misfortune of having to listen to the beginning of Limbaugh’s show this morning with The Human Steyn filling in. He was all over that ABC/Gitmo/Terra/art school story, but interestingly enough he never mentioned when these idiots were released. Of course, since Obama is an artsy-fartsy librul only he would release such dangerous people – right?
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 19:52
Hobgoblins are the Liberals of Consistency Fascism.
g said,
December 29, 2009 at 20:07
Art School?
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 20:34
Yes, the one where you draw Skippy the Turtle, only you can’t do it in a size that means you traced it *winkwink*
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 20:37
(emphases added)
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/12/29/politics/washingtonpost/main6032949.shtml
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 20:40
Anything which happened in November of 2007 was Nancy Pelosi’s fault.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 20:45
YOU LIBRULS NEED TO KWIT IT WIF YER DAM BIG WORDS:
C’MON OBAMA! DO S’MORE OF THAT DAM ‘COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF’ TALKIN’ THAT GETS US SO HAWT!!!
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:03
Nixon Nearly Frees Charles Manson
Froley said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:10
My mind-DJ is making a mash-up of Jackson Browne’s “Lawyers in Love” and Patsy Cline’s “Crazy”.
From Mr. Lincoln’s cri de coeur:
If he didn’t want to repeat the word “money” in the same sentence, he could have used the more poetic “survival tickets.”
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:12
Froley,
That was the bit that made me throw up in my mouth a little.
Here you have a crass, classless attorney/dentist…there’s a clue right there…whom, you know, might value lucre over love.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:24
You libruls are just jealous of Oily Taint because she’s willing to defend our right to form militias with bare arms.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:24
Hamas to Hanes wins.
Thank you actor212.
I knew there was a brand name joke there somewhere.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:29
Well, in fairness, I couldn’t fit “Fruit of the Loins” in there.
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:29
“he needs to you know change his, some would say, rhetoric”
Apparently he ain’t the only one. Smooth.
El Cid said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:35
Will Israel’s 1967 border be renamed the Brown Line?
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:41
I was considering the possibilities of ‘Camel Jockey’, but am too sensitive and caring a person to actually go there.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:44
Yes. That would clearly be a racially and ethnically insensitive possibility, perhaps on the scale of Allah Klein for Men.
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:45
Holy shit … the crazy is strong with this one (from the Raw Story piece linked to by El Cid):
[PA System voice]
Secret Service, line one. Secret Service, line one please.
[/voice]
What’s so interesting about not just Taintz, but with all the various nutcases seeping out of the woodwork, is how they failed to say a single fucking word the past eight years as those exact things were going on in ways eleventy bagiliongoogle times worse than anything any current Dem could come ever come up with in his or her wildest dreams.
Yet they now claim to be super-duper-extra-special concerned about all the things they happily and blithely supported just 11 months ago.
I wonder what it was that created such a dramatic shift in their “thinking” …
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 21:53
I wonder what it was that created such a dramatic shift in their “thinking” …
*koffkoffBLACKPRESIDENTkoffkoff*
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:01
Khalid Klein
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:04
Perfect, EB!
Steerpike said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:04
In all fairness, it was the same under Clinton, who is arguably not black. (It is also arguable that he is more black than Obama, but that’s another subject). Remember, it was in the 90′s that the militia movement really got started, and the wingers of the time–let’s call them “proto-teabaggers”, or “paleo-Palinites”, if you prefer–were insisting that the “Jack-Booted ATF thugs” were gonna take away our freedom! They managed to paint Janet Reno as some kind of radical, commie-loving, America-hating tyrant.
There’s nothing new here. They would have hated on Hilary just as hard, if not worse.
Tintin said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:06
Hey, SadlyNauts! Remember me? I’m buried with real work, having a court filing due tomorrow. The first draft is done so I may have a chance to post something late tonight.
In the meantime, carry on with exploding underpants, gay zombies, and veiled penis references.
Snorghagen said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:12
Seeing targeted destruction of our economy, our security, dissipation of American jobs, massive corruption in the Government, Congress Department of Justice and Judiciary, it might be time to start rallies and protests using our second amendment right to bare arms and organise in militias.
What’s so bad about dissipation of American jobs? This country needs more debauchery in the workplace.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:13
Too kind.
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:15
Well, if they’re not veiled, they get stoned.
Which seems more like a bonus than a punishment, but I don’t make the rules. So …
Bitter Scribe said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:15
There’s nothing new here. They would have hated on Hilary just as hard, if not worse.
You’re probably right. When it comes to the boundless depths of these people’s mindless hatred, nothing would surprise me anymore.
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:26
Jonah’s latest tweet:
Hatred of the South is the last acceptable bigotry.
The rationale for any uncaught contradictions, errors, lies, and other assorted bullshit:
Smiling Mortician said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:36
There’s nothing new here. They would have hated on Hilary just as hard, if not worse.
This is true. It’s just the D. Or the not-R. This is why I would like to see a Stephen Colbert type (or, hell, the actual Stephen Colbert) run for president on the GOP ticket and win — because the wingnut base would not only vote for him but would likely let him get well into his second term before they figured out that his actual policies aren’t, y’know, fascist.
Oops. Now I’ve gone and Mussolini’ed the thread.
vermonster said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:36
Whither HTML Mencken? I love Tintin and all….but where’s my boy Retardo?
PeeJ said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:40
I can carry a gay zombie. I can carry exploding underpants. Veiled penis references might be a problem.
thesebastiancat said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:53
Just for pantload:
http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:53
Yeah, Steerpike, I remember the 90s. Well, most of them — some are a bit … hazy (winkwinknudgenudgesaynomore).
In fact, two guys I was in college with — both of whom dropped out … which isn’t too surprising, as you will see– went absolutely apeshit after Ruby Ridge. I mean stone-cold, clinically crazy.
They stocked up on ammo and guns and pork-n-beans and put it all in a shack in the Ozark hills, convinced that Clinton (who was a rapist and coke dealer) was going to send that big burly AG of his around the nation to take everyone’s guns away.
I wish I were kidding.
So, yeah, I understand that ANY Democrat would have the usual nutjobs flinging poo his way. But the current crop of rightie nuts are more than just partisan loons looking to destroy their political opponent — they posses a type of weapons-grade stupid that makes Clinton-era loons look sane and totally rational by comparison.
And that takes a helluvalotta work to pull off successfully.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:54
Jonah’s tweet sounds almost wistfully nostalgic. Hey, ya gotta go with the acceptable bigotry you have, not the acceptable bigotry you wish you had.
Does this mean we have to stop the Islamowear jokes? What about Mormon underwear?
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 22:57
Mark, Pike,
I’m not sure the country is any crazier than it’s ever been. All my life, which encapsulates (sadly) more than half a century, there have been….colorful…people living far enough away from polite society that we could view them as one might view any zoo animal.
The problem is the Internet has given them equal footing in terms of getting an audience as anyone with a brain who actually thinks.
Think about it: in any other phase of American society could Bob “Cornfed Wankee” Owens have ANY reputation, other than perhaps a pedophile or that weird uncle who can crack his ankle on demand?
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:01
Ruby Ridge was Bush Sr, wasn’t it?
kingubu said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:07
Presenting the canonical Gay Zombie reference.
Lesley said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:08
Jonah’s post, wherein he calls Nixon “the most liberal presidents, of either party”, is well worth the read. Or toilet paper, if you’ve run out and don’t mind 1/2-ply.
Steerpike said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:08
The one difference between Clinton-hatred and the current Obama-Derangement, in nicely encapsulated by the “arrogance meme”. Bush had a “swagger”; Clinton had “charisma”; Reagan had “charm”, but let Obama stand up, be it ever so tentatively, for what he believes in, then he’s
uppity“arrogant”actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:08
Aug 1992, Tig, so yes.
slippy said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:12
Yes indeed. Before conservatives were for freedom, they were agin’ it.
Of course, one might make the argument that George H.W. Bush, walking funny from a case of serious whiny butthurt, deliberately inflamed his own party’s whacko wing in order to leave his replacement with an ongoing nuisance. That would be deeply irresponsible however, considering that Ruby Ridge —>> Waco —->> OK City Bombing.
Conservatives would never do anything deeply irresponsible in the service of short-term political gain, however. Would they?
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:17
Back in the olden days, the militia types used ham radio. Maybe still do.
I used to have one of those multi-band radios and could pick them up once in a while. This was before cable and tubez and such.
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:18
Why the holy fucking hell do I always get Ruby Ridge and Waco confused? (I blame the bong hits and countless kegs of Natty Light I was consuming at the time.)
Sorry — I had the image of David Koresh (sp?) in my head … which is not a pleasant one.
As far as crazies always being around, maybe I’m too young (39 this year) but I don’t remember them being on my teevee so damned much, nor them being quoted in Congress as legitimate people of ideas. Yet that keeps happening over and over again.
The Intratubes may have something to do with that to be sure, as do the countless hours of air time stations now need to fill. But … I don’t know — maybe it’s not any more pervasive; just easier to find.
::shrugs::
Chris said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:20
“Ruby Ridge was Bush Sr, wasn’t it?”
Bush wasn’t a conservative. (I’m using the standard party line for everyone going up to George W. Bush, but in his case they might actually have a point – if I recall, he was more closely tied with the old school Eastern establishment that was traditionally the moderate, pro-New Deal wing of the GOP as embodied by Eisenhower and Rockefeller).
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:21
I used to have one of those multi-band radios and could pick them up once in a while. This was before cable and tubez and such.
I miss Old Tyme Radio…
Mark D said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:27
Chris–
I was about to post that most diehard righties I know don’t consider the Bush the Elder as a true conservative. Not enough hating gays and bombing of brown people.*
Also. BoingBoing has a good name for the not-so-magical undies: Fruit of the Boom.
Too. Penis. Blart. Etc. Etc. Etc.
(*The first Gulf War doesn’t count since the U.S. could have sent a platoon wearing nothing more than jock straps and brandishing Pez dispensers and gotten half the Iraqi army to surrender. So most of them lived. Which is bad. Or something.)
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:29
The first Gulf War doesn’t count since the U.S. could have sent a platoon wearing nothing more than jock straps and brandishing Pez dispensers and gotten half the Iraqi army to surrender.
*GASP*
How did you get a copy of Obama’s plan for war on New Zealand in 2012?????
laym said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:30
“This was an assault on the United States, and it is important at a time like this that the president of the United States or someone in the administration with stature step forward,” Rep. Pete King, R-N.Y., the ranking member on the House Homeland Security said on CNN Sunday. “Whether it was President Bush or President Clinton or President Reagan, at times like this, the country looks for a leader. And I just feel that this administration is much more comfortable in talking about issues other than terrorism.”
I would not cross the street to piss on Rep. King if his underpants were on fire.
If Obama had come out and addressed the public like this, the wingnuts still would not have been satisfied.
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:34
I miss Old Tyme Radio…
That is old. Before there were ‘i’s
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:40
Rep. Pete King, R-N.Y., the ranking member on the House Homeland Security said on CNN Sunday. “Whether it was President Bush or President Clinton or President Reagan, at times like this, the country looks for a leader.
From Newsmax, of all places:
actor212 said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:41
I miƒƒ Old Tyme Radio…
That iƒ old. Before there were ‘i’ƒ
Fixed
Froley said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:46
Shorter Rep. King: President Obama should stand on top of a pair of smoldering BVDs with his arm draped around the Dutch guy.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:46
Again, I’ll say, someone needs to ask King exactly how many million dollars he’s given the IRA and watch HIM instantly become “comfortable in talking about issues other than terrorism.”
Elephant Butte said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:47
Damn BoingBoing
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:47
Of course, one might make the argument that George H.W. Bush, walking funny from a case of serious whiny butthurt, deliberately inflamed his own party’s whacko wing in order to leave his replacement with an ongoing nuisance
How Bush Pere lost the Birchers.
Yeah, the “Illuminati/Repton” conspiracy crowd would have mistrusted him due to his Northeastern blue-blood pedigree, and his Skull and Bones affiliation, but that statement is what sent them down the rabbit hole.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 29, 2009 at 23:58
How did you get a copy of Obama’s plan for war on New Zealand in 2012?????
No, the war on the Kiwis will involve booby-trapped blood puddings and trebuchets.
tigrismus said,
December 30, 2009 at 0:02
“Ruby Ridge was Bush Sr, wasn’t it?”
Bush wasn’t a conservative. (I’m using the standard party line for everyone going up to George W. Bush, but in his case they might actually have a point – if I recall, he was more closely tied with the old school Eastern establishment that was traditionally the moderate, pro-New Deal wing of the GOP as embodied by Eisenhower and Rockefeller).
My point is more that Clinton gets blamed for enough already. Ruby Ridge happened under Bush(and I’m not blaming Mark D for this misconception, I think Republicans purposely cultivate it), WTC 93 and the start of the Waco siege happened within 2 days of each other when Clinton had been in office for 37and 39 days respectively, and with largely leftover personnel. If Junior gets a pass for Sept 11 being “only” 9 months into his first term, poor Clinton’s getting a raw deal.
PeeJ said,
December 30, 2009 at 0:06
a platoon wearing nothing more than jock straps and brandishing Pez dispensers
Do you perchance publish a newsletter? Cuz, y’know….
Tacitus Voltaire said,
December 30, 2009 at 1:50
ham radio
replaced with pig teevee. all that’s left on the radio are barking fish
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab said,
December 30, 2009 at 2:50
I have always been lonely and depressed – I wish other people would connect with me.
http://salon.com/news/2009/12/29/af_airliner_attack_internet_postings/
I hope that I will make new friends at Supermax.
What’s that? I’ll barely even see another human being for next several decades? [cue unbearable agony
[it continues for the next eighteen to twenty years minimum]
bobbo said,
December 30, 2009 at 3:00
What will the SadlyNaughts call themselves in the next decade? Which you don’t have to worry about for another year, also.
gaderson said,
December 30, 2009 at 3:12
Just don’t show up at the airport and tell security you’re travelling “commando”. They might take it the wrong way.I
I prefer the euphemism “unfurnished basement”. Talk about a demolition.
chocolatepie said,
December 30, 2009 at 3:45
OT, but did anyone see the December McSweeney’s/fake newspaper issue? It warmed the cockles of my heart to see print win back the philandering spouse seeking news elsewhere with its charms.
Knights in Black Satin said,
December 30, 2009 at 4:15
Underpants will never be outlawed; the Underpants Lobby will see to THAT. Tho the Deepends Lobby will be working hard to infringe on our Bathroom Rights.
Either way, the People Loose. Again.
Shell Goddamnit said,
December 30, 2009 at 4:44
Bush wasn’t a conservative.
Hmmmm…didn’t John Hinckley Jr try to kill Reagan so that the more-conservative-in-his-estimation Bush Pere could be pres? And to impress Jodie Foster also.
I swear there was a punchline of a bad joke in there somewhere. Many bad jokes, even.
(“Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? To impress Jodie Foster.” Etc Etc)
Patriotic Freedom For America said,
December 30, 2009 at 5:13
TED NUGENT IS RIGHT OBAMA SJ0OULD BE IN JAIL FOR THE CRIMES AGAINST THE CONSITUTION AND TAKING FREEDOM AWAY FROM REAL AMERICANS, AND THE LEFT WING MEDIA MIND CONTROL BIAS MARXISM, AS WELL
Snarki, child of Loki said,
December 30, 2009 at 5:29
Well, of course Jonah is screeching like an enraged howler monkey.
Next time he flies, Doughy Pantsload is gonna have him some TSA problems. You betcha.
Ewwwww, also
El Cid said,
December 30, 2009 at 5:41
Ted Nugent has been fighting for generations to bring confections of sugar and roasted nuts and egg whites to our chocolate bars, and I think that entitles him to recognize Mao Tze Hussein Obama Dong when he sees him.
PeeJ said,
December 30, 2009 at 5:43
I have searched the Undergear.com catalog in vain for the latest in explosive intimiate wear but I can find only ebullient, fiery, frenzied, fulminant, hazardous, impetuous, meteoric, overwrought, perilous, raging, and touchy underpants.
justme said,
December 30, 2009 at 7:48
I knew those Captain America Underoos were going to come in handy some day. I mean, c’mon. Flash those at the TSA secuity point and they have got to just wave you through.
Probably give me a set of those cool pilot’s wings, too.
Major Kong said,
December 30, 2009 at 14:12
Ain’t that Nugent feller one o’ them musician types?
I thought they was supposed to just shut up about politics.
N__B said,
December 30, 2009 at 14:56
Ain’t that Nugent feller one o’ them musician types?
You’ve obviously never listened to him.
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:12
Hatred of the South is the last acceptable bigotry.
Oh, I don’t know about the last, but it is certainly acceptable.
A larger group of self-righteous hypocrites can’t be found anywhere. Taking money from the Northeast with nary a thank-you, home of treason, glad to be ignorant, Bible thumpin’ but not Bible readin’, just all around mean, spiteful, hateful, ungrateful good-fer-nothings.
LittlePig, native Southerner, Hillbilly Division
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:16
BIAS MARXISM
That’s why I slap on a set of Goodrich Radial Marxism on my Ford Truck.
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:17
And no, that’s not meant as irony. I live here, have always lived here, and hate to see my fellow Southerners drag down a formerly great country.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:19
I have searched the Undergear.com catalog in vain for the latest in explosive intimiate wear but I can find only ebullient, fiery, frenzied, fulminant, hazardous, impetuous, meteoric, overwrought, perilous, raging, and touchy underpants.
Did you look in the Silk Sock™ section?
N__B said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:22
touchy underpants
I’m wearing touchie-and-feelies myself. It gives my day that extra oomph.
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:25
I have searched the Undergear.com catalog in vain for the latest in explosive intimate wear
Damn, they just write themselves for this latest incident, don’t they?
“Ripped him a new asshole”
“I told him not to eat the chili”
“Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!”
Major Kong said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:34
Hatred of the South is the last acceptable bigotry.
I really don’t think all southerners are stupid racist fundamentalist theocrats.
Just the ones they elect to public office.
El Cid said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:37
The Boxers Rebellion?
El Cid said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:38
If we Southerners who aren’t jackass right wing white conservatives couldn’t hate the Southerners who have done so much damage to this nation, and the world, what would we do?
animus said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:39
Bush Sr also invaded Somalia after the ’92 election, promising it would all be over before Clinton’s inauguration.
El Cid said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:42
And both he and all the warhawks and liberal hawks justified it on humanitarian grounds even though all the aid agencies which had actually been working on the ground were saying NO NO NO PLEASE DON’T PLEASE DON’T HELP US WITH YOUR TROOPS AND BOMBS NO NO NO NO NO…
And then we have to put up with years of self-righteous American assholes blaming Somalians for our miserable invasion and its consequences and asking bullshit questions like “ARE WE THE WORLD’S COP” and never, ever asking the world which would have said ‘NO AND PLEASE STOP FUNDING OUR TYRANTS KTHXBAI’
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 30, 2009 at 15:49
Red Hot Chili Peppers will be the only ones the TSA lets on the flights anymore.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 16:07
Red Hot Chili Peppers will be the only ones the TSA lets on the flights anymore.
But only because they perform in their underwear.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 16:08
Zombie Kool Aid
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 30, 2009 at 16:54
just socks, actor.
Just socks.
N__B said,
December 30, 2009 at 17:20
Just socks.
Three socks each, to be accurate.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 17:54
just socks, actor.
Clearly, you have not looked at the Undergear Catalog. These days, that counts as underwear.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 30, 2009 at 18:26
exactly the point, actor. no place to put explosives.
Heh.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 19:23
exactly the point, actor. no place to put explosives.
Well, I gotta lion in my sock and baby, he’s ready to roar!
Also. Too. I mean.
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2009 at 23:46
No, the war on the Kiwis will involve booby-trapped blood puddings and trebuchets.
Bear in mind that we get the New Year before anyone else, and we get to decide how “new” it is by the time it gets to you. Less of this invasion talk unless you want extra snotchos.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2009 at 23:53
Yes, but Smut, that means we’re in your past, which means we can still. Change. Your. Future.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA*koffkoff*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 31, 2009 at 0:33
I say we make Smut eat Brussels Sprouts!!