4
Marie Jon”s Tips for’ Successful Marriage’
Marie has penned a real doozy this week. Let’s check ‘er out:
Love and respect your spouse and receive all the fantastic perks
Marie Jon’
Forty years of feminist philosophy has brought severe reproof for just about everything the male does. If we listen to the feminists, man is evil, stupid, and unjustly tyrannical. The feminist movement, which began in the early 60′s, has played a decisive role in denigrating the family.
Did the feminist movement begin in the early ’60s? Sadly, nope. But in the world of wingnuttia, everything bad came from the 1960s, including evolution, the free silver movement, and Islam.
However, the main cause of family problems today is our self-centeredness.
Mothers and fathers need to be shining examples. They must instruct and train their children on how to love their spouses and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, and to be kind and helpful.
Fact: feminists don’t teach their children to be kind and helpful.
The word of God is a great resource for learning these important values and skills.
God gives women affectionate power. Men are born out of a women’s womb. They spend their lives yearning for a woman’s acceptance and approval. Man is putty in the hands of the woman he loves. Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, good food, and good loving’ and he will do just about anything you wish, foolish or not.
In other words, you can cynically manipulate your husband by giving him lots of sex good loving’. It’s good to know where Marie’s priorities are.
God made women verbal creatures, which can frustrate men with an overwhelming amount of talk. Instead of expecting her husband to be “a girlfriend,” the wise wife should choose the proper topic and timing of discussions.
Hint: learn about sports- it’s what we like to talk about. Hint 2: don’t talk about your feelings. We hate, hate, hate that shit. Hint 3: Sex. Lots of it. Vastly superior to talking.
OK, so now that I’ve revealed all the secrets of the male psyche, let’s read the rest of Marie’s piece:
Tell your man whether you want advice, or if you’re just letting off steam. God made man to want to be “our rescuer,” so understand that you can frustrate him if he can’t fix what’s bothering you, especially if all you want is someone to listen.
Take whatever he says at face value. Women tend to overanalyze men. They are not that complicated.
Marie’s actually right here. Food, sex, sports, beer… that’s about it. Give us ample quantities of each, and we’re pretty damn happy.
Men need respect and love.
No we don’t. Like I said before: food, sex, sports, beer. Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.
God gave us the blueprint for a happy marriage. He commands husbands and wives in the Book of Ephesians: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
So the secret to having a successful marriage is to love and respect the person you’re married to. Thanks, God. That’s a super-helpful fucking tip.
Women need love just as they needs air to breathe.
There is so much wrong with this sentence that I feel guilty even making a joke about it. Seriously, it’d be like laughing at a one-eyed crippled puppy. Next:
Gavin adds: It parses better if you say it in a Popeye voice with a toot-toot at the end.
This same verse commands a wife to respect her husband. Why? He needs respect as he needs air to breathe.
Or as Marie needs new similes.
Treat each other with the dignity they deserve, for we are made in the image of God.
Congratulations, Marie! You somehow managed to write a sentence in the first, second and third persons! I didn’t think such a thing was possible, but I’ll be damned if you haven’t proven me wrong about yet another so-called grammatical “rule” that was drilled into my head by the liberal education establishment!
Men and women have a different language of love. Every man and woman wants to be appreciated for who they are and what they do. Keep an” Appreciation Journal” to help remind yourself of the things your mate does that you appreciate.
This sounds awfully similar to Pastor Swank’s “Appreciation Notes.” I wonder if Marie’s the girl that the Swankster tried marrying off to that spaniel.
When love, respect and appreciation are openly expressed, a happy home is it’s own rewards. The American family needs to return to godly principals.
How true. For too long Americans have shunned the godly principals and have turned to sinful heathens like Mr. Belding.
Anyway, Marie provides a link at the end of her article to a piece called “Feminist Movement Betty Friedan Led Has Its Roots In The Occult, Necromancy, Demonic Spiritualism.” I’m too tired to read the whole thing right now, but the title alone is worth about fifty gajillion Noble Peace Pulitzers for Medicine.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 6:42
I wonder where she got the idea for her Godless article? I hope her hair falls out.
Brad R. said,
May 4, 2006 at 6:47
Ooo! Cat fight, cat fight!!1!
Yosef said,
May 4, 2006 at 6:59
annie, you should challenge Marie to a fight.
Fuck, she left out the orange juice thing!
Anonymous said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:04
“God made women verbal creatures”
I’ll give her that. WTF? Let me watch the game. (With all due respect to Ann Bartow.)
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:05
Vintage Jon’.
She starts off with an enormous strawman: feminists say man is evil, stupid and unjustly tyrranical. What kind of simpletons actually believe this? The kind of simpletons that believe in talking snakes in trees.
What the motherfuck does her whole screed have to do with feminists? She starts off with a graf about how feminists have ruined the American family, but then she shifts gears and says no, it’s really self-centeredness, that mothers and fathers need to be respectful.
Then it’s the usual “women aren’t subservient enough” shtick like this:
Instead of expecting her husband to be “a girlfriend,” the wise wife should choose the proper topic and timing of discussions.
And always squeeze his orange juice by hand. Only whores use frozen.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:06
I bet she serves frozen.
Timmah420 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:08
Jesus christ you are a terrible person.
Every time I read your posts it’s like I’m being molested.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:08
She starts off with an enormous strawman: feminists say man is evil, stupid and unjustly tyrranical.
I phrased that awkwardly. Should read “feminists say MEN are evil, stupid and unjustly tyrranical.”
Reading Marie’s writing has made me temporarily a little stupider.
Timmah420 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:08
Talking to annie.
That comment made my skin crawl.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:10
What comment???
Timmah420 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:10
Hope her hair falls out. That’s creepy as fuck.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:11
LOL!! It’s a girl thing.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:12
annie, you should challenge Marie to a fight.
If annie and Marie Jon’ had a steel cage match on pay-per-view, who would win?
A. annie
B. Marie Jon’
C. The viewing public
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:18
You can’t get the best of me. ;)
Timmah420 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:18
“I hate you guys and hope you both get cancer!”
“Cancer!?!”
“Yes… in the head.”
“Head cancer?”
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:19
If we listen to the feminists, [men are] evil, stupid, and unjustly tyrannical
But if we listen to Marie Jon, we find that he is none of these things. Instead, he is a simple-minded creature who prefers to communicate with short grunts. He is easily manipulated, especially when he believes that you ‘respect’ him, but if this fails, just use sex to get what you want.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:22
Only whores initiate sex. Sex is not a weapon, not a manipulation tool, it’s a sacred act between a Husband and a wife.
And Timmah, it’s nothing like that, you twit. It’s a reference to over-styling.
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:37
Only whores initiate sex
Well dress me in fishnets and call me Crystal.
Just curious annieangel: if a whore is someone who sells sex, and if traditional economic theory says that the supplier responds to the demand, then how does initiating sex make me a whore? Wouldn’t submissive, compliant behaviour be more in the spirit of prostitution?
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:40
Well, if I initiate sex, I am whoring out my body to fulfill my own carnal desires. It’s a spiritual whoring.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:47
Well, if I initiate sex, I am whoring out my body to fulfill my own carnal desires. It’s a spiritual whoring.
The desires put there by God that he wants you to ignore, or something, right? The Mobius strip of Christian logic strikes again. It all has something to do with talking snakes, am I correct?
Timmah420 said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:48
Actually that was just a quote anyway…
it’s a sacred act between a Husband and a wife.
Oh so you *are* married then huh?
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:52
if I initiate sex, I am whoring out my body to fulfill my own carnal desires
Arguably one could initiate sex for non-selfish reasons, e.g., because it makes him very happy to know that he’s desirable, or because he enjoys the novelty of, shall we say, trying out the other end of the power spectrum. But I’m quibbling, I’m more interested in this other issue: you aren’t allowed to engage in sex if you have a carnal motive, or any carnal motive? If it’s the latter, none of us can ever have sex again!
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 7:53
All animals have sexual desires, they fuck in public too. Should I just jump some guy on the street if he makes me hot???
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:03
Should I just jump some guy on the street if he makes me hot?
Well, you should probably ask him for permission first.
I call straw man. I said nothing about strangers on the street. That’s not even the context we’re discussing.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:06
All animals have sexual desires, they fuck in public too. Should I just jump some guy on the street if he makes me hot???
Huh? That has nothing to do with what Elendil was saying. Certainly there is a gray area in between “fucking the guy on the street” and “having no carnal desires.”
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:10
It’s just my opinion on proper Christian behavior. I don’t believe in sex being used by the wife for any reason, including fulfilling her own carnal desires.
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:10
That “Feminist Movement Betty Friedan …” article is pretty amusing. I wish I could construct ad hominems that bullet-proof. I liked how this quote from A.Prof Brauden was treated by the author:
“… Spiritualism held up a model of women’s unlimited (!) capacity for autonomous action to the men and women of 19th century America”
“Capacity for autonomous action, that we can agree with, but unlimited capacity? This time, the feminists have gone too far.”
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:36
All joking aside, annie, what denomination are you? Are you an evangelical?
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:50
I’m non-denominational. I am obviously evangelical, as all Christians are charged with the Great Commission to spread the good news of the Gospel.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:59
Interesting. I would swear with the never-initiating sex stuff that you must belong to some extreme wingnut church, since even the Catholics in my family don’t have that much guilt about sex. It’s a strangely selective brand of Christianity that says you cannot derive any carnal pleasure from sex but fornication itself is A-OK.
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:04
Men are born out of a women’s womb. They spend their lives yearning for a woman’s acceptance and approval.
Wait a minute, where have I heard that before…? *gasp* oh no, our dear, sweet, virginous Marie Jon’ has been reading Freud. Quick, someone stop her, before she finds out what a phallus is!
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:05
Of course sex should be pleasureful, if it’s not you aren’t doing it right! I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. I’m saying that a woman who initiates sex is a whore because she is selling herself spiritually for sexual gratification. It’s a carnal, lustful act in that case, and not a sacred loving act.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:05
Women are born out of a woman’s womb too.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:11
I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. I’m saying that a woman who initiates sex is a whore because she is selling herself spiritually for sexual gratification.
Does… not… compute…
Why is the rule different for a man than a woman? Why is it “okay” for a man to initiate sex? Isn’t the man held to the same standards of “selling himself spiritually for sexual gratification,” whatever the effing hell that is?
What a blessing it is to be an atheist and not have to think about such nonsense.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:16
Men are different. They are by nature more agressive than woman and therefore are wired to be the pursuer in sexual relations. That’s just the way it is. Men shouldn’t have have to deal with their wife’s using spiritual whorefare to try to take over yet another male role in our society.
JK47 said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:25
Men shouldn’t have have to deal with their wife’s using spiritual whorefare to try to take over yet another male role in our society.
annieangel = Clark Kent
Marie Jon’ = Superman
You notice you never see them in the same place at the same time?
elendil said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:26
because she is selling herself spiritually for sexual gratification
Then shouldn’t whoring be possible regardless of whether a person initiates it or not, or enjoys it or not? As a purely hypothetical example, imagine a person who has strong ideals about the proper role of sex, but they sold out anyway because their partner nagged them, society pressured them, and really, they just wanted love and companionship more than anything. Is that being a whore?
[shrugs] If anyone who has sold out and had sex for ulterior motives before is a whore, then I’d be surprised if there’s a single one amongst us who isn’t a one. Male and female both. I certainly won’t be casting the first stone.
Sadly, No! said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:28
Maybe the time has come to replace Seinfeld quotes with annieangel quotes at the top of this here blog.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:40
but they sold out anyway because their partner nagged them…
Sex should be an act of giving, not taking. If it’s the woman nagging for sex, she’s a whore. If it’s a man, then his wife is not being giving enough, he shouldn’t have to nag if she loves him.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:41
Those are Seinfeld quotes?
Marq said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:44
Eew. Thanx for reminding me. Marie! Not, OTOH, that’d I’d have particularly liked to have been born of a man. either. Disgusting, in any case. I’d have much rather been spawned via xenogenesis. Then, I’d be a plague upon the earth.
Of course, I may well be that already… *cough*
Major Woody said,
May 4, 2006 at 10:44
If we listen to the feminists, man is evil, stupid, and unjustly tyrannical…
Well, I’m a man, and those feminists have sure got my number.
Dewd said,
May 4, 2006 at 11:25
…he is a simple-minded creature who prefers to communicate with short grunts. He is easily manipulated, especially when he believes that you ‘respect’ him, but if this fails, just use sex to get what you want.
Well, she’s certainly got my number!
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
May 4, 2006 at 11:35
Maybe Marie needs to brush up on restrictive vs. nonrestrictive clauses:
The feminist movement, which began in the early 60′s
talks about the feminist movement, and how it began in the 60′s.
The feminist movement which began in the early 60′s
talks about one of the feminist movements, specifically the one that began in the 60′s.
Chris Moorehead said,
May 4, 2006 at 14:42
I had a godly principal when I was in high school. Fortunately, in my senior year the school board rotated the upper management between schools, and we got a sane principal instead.
He still wanted to review and approve in advance the valedictorian speech made by my best friend, a pot-smoking, Communist party member who was a dead ringer for Joey Ramone (and coincidentally was the top student as well), but that was probably more evidence of his sanity. The “approved” version was controversial enough – God only knows what my friend might have said otherwise.
tigrismus said,
May 4, 2006 at 15:24
Is Marie married? Does she even know any men, or has she obtained all her knowedge of the other half from the Bible and Archie Bunker re-runs?
Vladi G said,
May 4, 2006 at 15:33
Hint: learn about sports- it’s what we like to talk about. Hint 2: don’t talk about your feelings. We hate, hate, hate that shit. Hint 3: Sex. Lots of it. Vastly superior to talking
Actually, that’s really good advice. Also, leave me alone long enough to play golf four or five times a month.
Kerlyssa said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:02
Spiritual Whorefare?
Sadly, No gets all the best trolls.
MCH said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:05
If we listen to the feminists, [men are] evil, stupid, and unjustly tyrannical
According to Marie, if it weren’t for those gosh-darned feminazis, we’d all realize that men are being JUSTLY tyrannical? Why do so many far-right Christian women subscribe to the Helsinki Syndrome theory of marital relations? Low self-esteem from growing up in a faith tradition that values them just slightly above the family dog?
Men are different. They are by nature more agressive than woman and therefore are wired to be the pursuer in sexual relations. That’s just the way it is. Men shouldn’t have have to deal with their wife’s using spiritual whorefare to try to take over yet another male role in our society.
This quote, from our resident fringe-faith-addled wingnuttess, sort of helps make my above point, hm? Methinks someone’s never heard of “marital rape”?
MCH said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:12
Sex should be an act of giving, not taking. If it’s the woman nagging for sex, she’s a whore. If it’s a man, then his wife is not being giving enough, he shouldn’t have to nag if she loves him.
Absolute. Sexist. Trash.
Do you have a dick, Annie? I ask because you’re quite the chauvinist pig.
It’s unseemly on one who claims to be a lady.
Your misogyny is breathtaking. Why do you hate yourself? Oh yeah, I answered that question in my last post…
The brainwashed are mighty creepy people.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:13
Men shouldn’t have have to deal with their wife’s using spiritual whorefare to try to take over yet another male role in our society.
Damn, I wish my wife would try some of that spiritual whorefare on me sometime.
Then I could be the one to say, “What? Again? We just did it last month!”
Oh, FTLOG! said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:14
Men are born out of a women’s womb. They spend their lives yearning for a woman’s acceptance and approval.
No, MJ…they live their lives yearning for women’s wombs!
Man is putty in the hands of the woman he loves.
Actually, that would be any woman…as long as she’s handling his putty.
Anonymous said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:33
“Men are different. They are by nature more agressive than woman and therefore are wired to be the pursuer in sexual relations.”
IT’S NAAAAATURE’S WAAAAAAYYYY
Every time someone throws me that argument, I reply with this:
That’s how it works with the sea louse, too. Know what happens when you’re a female sea louse? You get captured and raped by a male sea louse, and added to his harem. And when you get impregnated, your young literally eat you from the inside out. After finishing off what’s left of your innards and flesh, the baby sea lice merrily scuttle out of the cave. So if you’re a female sea louse, your destiny is to be raped and die a horrible death. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. THAT, my friend, is that way nature works.
Dorothy said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:34
annie:
Sex should be an act of giving, not taking. If it’s the woman nagging for sex, she’s a whore. If it’s a man, then his wife is not being giving enough, he shouldn’t have to nag if she loves him.
This sentence is actually saying that sex is an act of giving for women only, while for men it’s an act of taking. Is that really what you mean? If so, can you cite me even one Biblical passage (Heck, I’ll even accept one from the KJV) as a reference?
Only whores initiate sex. Sex is not a weapon, not a manipulation tool, it’s a sacred act between a Husband and a wife.
What do I do if my husband ASKS me to initiate sex sometimes? I’m damned if I do–because it makes me a whore–and damned if I don’t–because I’m refusing my husband’s request. Is there a way out of this in your worldview?
Men are different. They are by nature more agressive than woman and therefore are wired to be the pursuer in sexual relations.
Most males of the animal kingdom are by nature physically adapted to force sex on partners. Does this mean rape is OK, because that’s the way god made men? On the flip side, does this mean shy men are “unnatural” and don’t ever deserve sex if they can’t pursue it?
Men shouldn’t have have to deal with their wife’s using spiritual whorefare
Well, first off, I think it’s fair to say that any married people who resort to manipulation of any sort to control their spouses need therapy. Gender is irrelevant.
Second, I have to give you credit for “spiritual whorfare”–great term. However, I think it’s more appropriate for guys like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Robert Tilton who prostitute religion and spirituality to make money.
g said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:37
Oh, Christ. If we’re going to have an annieangel vs. marie jon’ bitch fight, can we just put them in a cage and let them go off and do it instead of doing it by proxy here in the comments? We’ve already had more than we need of annie’s relationship tips.
Yosef said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:38
Men are born out of a women’s womb. They spend their lives yearning for a woman’s acceptance and approval.
No, MJ…they live their lives yearning for women’s wombs!
Reminds me of that joke about how we spend the first 9 months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.
Anonymous said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:42
“Sex is not a weapon, not a manipulation tool, it’s a sacred act between a Husband and a wife.”
Explain, then, what a husband raping her wife with a flashlight is.
g said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:42
“I don’t believe in sex being used by the wife for any reason, including fulfilling her own carnal desires.”
So…it’s unseemly for a wife to fulfill her own carnal(sexual) desires. Why is it OK for a guy to do it?
Is it OK for a wife to fulfill other bodily desires she may have, such as eating delicous food, having a foot massage, taking a nice long shower, scratching that itch in the small of her back? Or is someone else supposed to initiate those for her, too?
Just wondering.
Anonymous said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:46
“Most males of the animal kingdom are by nature physically adapted to force sex on partners.”
And in contrast, there’s the almost nonexistent male anglerfish, who needs to attach to the huge female in order to survive, in turn becoming nothing more than an organ. The “male nature” argument is fallicious either way.
Dan Someone said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:54
A valiant, and entirely undeserved, effort to rehabilitate a teensy portion of MJ’s ridiculous screed, but…er… sadly, no. If she had meant the latter (and who really thinks she did?), then she would have been required to use “that” instead of “which.” I don’t think there is any way to escape the conclusion that Miss Jon’ believes feminism sprang fully formed from the brow of Betty Friedan in the 1960′s.
Brian said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:56
G-
And don’t forget the jello. Needs jello.
Dan Someone said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:58
What do I do if my husband ASKS me to initiate sex sometimes? I’m damned if I do–because it makes me a whore–and damned if I don’t–because I’m refusing my husband’s request. Is there a way out of this in your worldview?
Sorry, Dorothy, but if your husband asks you to initiate sex, then he is clearly not a real man. He may be an apostate heathen devil-worshipper, or maybe even a woman in disguise, but if you’re saddled with this “guy,” I’d say you’re both going straight to hell.
Hey, I don’t make the rules. God makes the rules; I just interpret anniangel’s interpretation of the Bible’s interpretation of the rules.
celticgirl said,
May 4, 2006 at 16:59
…he is a simple-minded creature who prefers to communicate with short grunts. He is easily manipulated, especially when he believes that you ‘respect’ him, but if this fails, just use sex to get what you want.
Elendil gets my vote for best “Shorter Marie Jon-uh”. Nicely done!
celticgirl said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:02
…Oh, and you realize this is Brad’s ultra mega meta fantasy – Marie J. and Annie A. in a Christian bitch-slap off. I’m just surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.
Annie, you’ve just played right into his hands.
g said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:03
Mmm…jello. But only if it’s not whoreish to want it.
Cyn said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:18
I bet she serves frozen.
Posted by: annieangel | May 4, 2006 07:06 AM
I’d also bet she doesn’t swallow. Poor little Marie Jon’. She trades her pure housewifely self in exchange for being taken care of by her manly husband. How is she any better than a hooker on the street corner that just comes right out and says “I’ll trade you this for $20.”
I have way more respect for the hooker.
Hysterical Woman said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:20
To be a whore (as in prostitute and not just a generic put-down), you have to be selling something. When we talk about selling bodies, we usually mean selling sexual favors. So when a wife intiating sex, she is selling sexual favors in return for sexual satisfaction. For some reason a man intiating sex is not selling anything, since it is impossible for men to be whores. Then again, since annie calls this spritual whoredom, perhaps she thinks that women sell their souls to men, in which case we deserve a lot better sex.
Lucy said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:23
Marie is very pretty. I think we can all agree on that. Remember, blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Hysterical Woman said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:26
I guess if women sell a share of their soul whenever they have unlawful sex. In that case, those soul sharekeepers have an interest in making their soul owner go to church, as to bring up the profit of their soul share. Therefore, women should have unlawful sex so that they have a reason to go to church.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:46
…Oh, and you realize this is Brad’s ultra mega meta fantasy – Marie J. and Annie A. in a Christian bitch-slap off. I’m just surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.
Annie, you’ve just played right into his hands.
Posted by: celticgirl | May 4, 2006 05:02 PM
I’m mad at Brad. Thanks for the warning, pagangirl. I guess I should go make friends with Mari Jon’ then, so Brad doesn’t get his way. Once she repents and we can start hanging out, there won’t be any fighting for Brad to enjoy. Just two bestfriends, doing bestfriend things together, like doing each other’s hair, giving each other facials, and maybe a pillow fight here and there.
Rupert Garry said,
May 4, 2006 at 17:54
The fact is Osama bin laden reads AnnieAngel’s blog. Next to the pure, chaste, and Christ-like Marie, Annie’s just another tree-hugging ACLU slut with un-American legs. They’re so shapely, even liberofascists like Juan Cole must admit that she doesn’t add ranch to her taco soup. Catholics have a better chance at salvation than she does.
Fox and the rest of the Democrat media ignores this of course.
Lucy said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:00
Rupert Garry, I think I love you. Not that I’m trying to “initiate” anything, of course.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:12
I have more “Christ-like-ness” in my baby finger than Marie Jon’ has in her entire weave.
Woodrowfan said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:13
“God made women verbal creatures….” So God made women oral? cool! I like oral women!!
celticgirl said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:21
Annie, I have a feeling Marie would take one look at your blog and tell you to repent. How will you ever be bestest-friends-eva if you’re both vying for Jesus’ attention?
I predict Brad will get his cat fight after all…
GuinnessGuy said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:42
So God made women oral? cool! I like oral women!!
Careful, the Feminist Law Professors are about…
On the other hand, being on the same spot of the internets might cause annie, Marie and Ann to combust… Never mind, lads- proceed as you were.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:49
Screw the feminist Law Professors! I have the New York Law Firm on my side! And Jesus.
Jillian said,
May 4, 2006 at 18:51
I see we’re back to feeding the troll again. Tsk….I’m disappointed.
And Marie got that quote so totally wrong….It’s “Men are born out of a woman’s womb, and they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back into one.”
Duh.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:02
Huh. I thought most men stopped at the cervix.
liberalsouth said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:11
annie, love, pride is the mother of sin. repent or be damned!
Seriously, though. What is the deal with the wingnuts and their obsession with other people’s sex lives? The rest of us are supposed to suffer because they can’t get it together and maintain normal relationships? YEESH!
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:14
Actually, in my experience lately, it’s liberal women who can’t seem to stop telling me how they love to act the whore for their Husbands. I’ve asked them to stop and I’ve explained that it’s none of my business what they do, but they just seem to be dying to tell me their sexual habits.
It’s freaking me out.
Big Worm said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:23
Just two bestfriends, doing bestfriend things together, like doing each other’s hair, giving each other facials, and maybe a pillow fight here and there.
You sure you wanna talk about giving each other facials in this context?
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:25
?? What’s wrong with two bestfriends giving each other facials? My best friend gives me facials all the time. I’m confused.
celticgirl said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:26
Jillian: sorry, I just couldn’t resist. I’ll let her starve from now on, I promise…
NY Law Firm said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:31
To Miss AnnieAngel:
We still have not received payment in re: retainer for our services and action taken against Jesus’ General and Atrios. We have notified our partner, NY Collection Agency, to collect the sum of $42.78 from you.
You have been notified.
Da Dame said,
May 4, 2006 at 19:56
Man is putty in the hands of the woman he loves.
Not if she knows what she’s doing.
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 20:43
Brad told me he paid you! He’s the one who called Atrios a dick anyway, I just laughed!!
BrooklynRaider said,
May 4, 2006 at 21:16
What’s wrong with two bestfriends giving each other facials? My best friend gives me facials all the time.
Oh, my.
GuinnessGuy said,
May 4, 2006 at 21:57
What’s wrong with two bestfriends giving each other facials? My best friend gives me facials all the time.
:Pumps fist:
Score!
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 22:45
How does a facial equal scoring?
MCH said,
May 4, 2006 at 22:59
How does a facial equal scoring?
Should we tell her, or not? At first I thought she was being coy, but I now think she really doesn’t know…
annieangel said,
May 4, 2006 at 23:10
Oh grow up!!!
SHEESH!
It’s not like I said Brad comes over and gives us both facials while we chant “si se puede” at him.
It’s like a schoolyard here!
BrooklynRaider said,
May 4, 2006 at 23:24
It’s not like I said Brad comes over and gives us both facials while we chant “si se puede” at him.
Awesome… Annie, you would make a brilliant porn director.
Pastor Maker said,
May 5, 2006 at 0:34
Shouldn’t this chick be showing her man the goodies beneath that sweater, instead of wasting valuable man-pleasing time on writing crap about pleasing men?
I hate wilfs(wingnuts i’d like to fuck). And Marie Jon, unless her pic is 30 years old, is definitely a wilf.
pishy40 said,
May 5, 2006 at 2:18
Again, i have to ask how can Marie comment on things she has no experience in? A marriage is a union between two people, it takes work and is not always perfect, and not based on only sex (sex is secondary)Love and respect are something to be earned from one another in a relationship and should be given equally. Marie, if you know so much about what a Marriage is, why aren’t you Married? Why, are you filling peoples heads with your fallicies? What makes you such an expert on this topic? Or maybe, your married or were married and thats what gives you the right to voice your opinion on the subject! Please be more careful when quoting the Bible to others, so as to not give them false information.
annieangel said,
May 5, 2006 at 2:43
It’s obvious Marie Jon wrote this article to copy me. She is just trying to get Brad’s attention.
Laser Potato said,
May 5, 2006 at 2:46
Using wingnuts’ own logic against them is FUN!
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_23a.html
elendil said,
May 5, 2006 at 3:16
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_23a.html
That’s so delightfully twisted, thank you. Aw, but they haven’t done my personal favourite law from the Good Book, the one where women captured in war are fair game (Deut 21:10-13, Num 31:17-18). I shall send them an email.
elendil said,
May 5, 2006 at 3:34
Oh no, my mistake, it’s right here:
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_10a.html
This makes me very happy.
sarah said,
May 5, 2006 at 7:49
mua ha ha ha! facials!
Marq said,
May 5, 2006 at 10:09
Aah, fuck the feminist law perfesserz! Fuck ‘em all! Not, you know, that I would, or anything….
Pinko Punko said,
May 5, 2006 at 10:38
OK cobags, we had what could have been an awesome thread with annie going kung fu on MJ’, but you had to get on that whole whatever tangent.
I mean “Ibet she serves frozen” and “I hope her hair falls out”- annie just ‘bagged you and you didn’t even notice. The hiar falling out is CLASSIC. CUH-LASS-IC.
I for one am going to be having a tickle fight with annie a and we will definitely be giving each other facials.
Capt. Trollypants said,
May 5, 2006 at 10:39
Heh. Facials.
Pinko Punko said,
May 5, 2006 at 10:39
Gross, dude.
gus said,
May 5, 2006 at 11:09
my best friend won’t let me give her a facial.
She says it’s gross and she prefers to swallow.
Woodrowfan said,
May 5, 2006 at 14:37
first orals, now facials. Man, this is a filthy site.. No wonder I love it so much!!!
Laser Potato said,
May 5, 2006 at 15:53
“I bet she serves frozen.”
Ew, I’m never gonna look at a Slurpee the same way again…
Anonymous said,
May 5, 2006 at 18:07
Your pet troll is very good.
And I laughed out loud at the ‘toot toot’.
annieangel said,
May 5, 2006 at 18:13
I don’t have tickle fights with married men but we can do the facial thing.
Jim said,
May 5, 2006 at 19:27
First off: Annie is brilliant.
Second: How can you all not see her pulling your leg? How can she so completely pull you around the stage, and you still say things like: “Should we tell her or not?” :)
What, can you only recognize humour if it’s written in ten foot manga letters with smiling mushrooms and stars and hearts and a manic laughter audio track?
How can she get a purported humour site to take “Only whores serve frozen” serious?
I repeat: Annie is fucking brilliant.
Brooks said,
May 5, 2006 at 20:00
I just found this place indirectly through, I think, Stupid Evil Bastard.
I love this comment thread. I do have one disturbing thing to say though. After looking at annie’s blog. I’m actually picturing “her” as a slightly overweight middle age man. :-) Not that that diminishes the brilliance.
Private Partz said,
May 5, 2006 at 20:03
Marie’ Jon’: what’ a total’ frickin” waste’ of hottitude’!’
annieangel said,
May 5, 2006 at 20:08
I don’t think you were looking at my blog, brooks. :)
And, Jim, if you say fuck one more time, I’m going to have to ask Gavin to ban you.
Brooks said,
May 5, 2006 at 20:43
That’s exactly what I was looking at. I just learned how to click on a link the other day! The over the top name and falling roses and profile picture are what gave me the impression. It must be from my mid 90′s AOL chat room days. :-)
annieangel said,
May 5, 2006 at 20:48
Oh. Have you ever seen a girl, brooks? There’s a new place in Germany, caters to people like you.
MJ said,
May 5, 2006 at 22:00
Just what is your problem? If you have digested the article you will see that it is based on God’s word. Liberals do not take God at His WORD. That’s why our society is truly crude and debasing. People lack social decorum and respect.
Actually am receiving great reviews. I am also hearing from secular Christians that never read their Bibles. You need to read God’s WORD daily. It’s not once and then you are all done. “Sanctification is a work of a lifetime.” I am a teacher of God’s word and and I share the good news.
When love, respect and appreciation are openly expressed, a happy home is it’s own rewards. The American family needs to return to godly principals. below you can read as well as listen to God’s words cornering what I wrote about.
Please, I do understand that the woman’s movement goes back a very long time. The 60′s is where most people go back in their minds concurring this topic. Thank you for yourdiscussion on Sadly No.
Marie
Related Links
Feminist Movement Betty Friedan Led Has Its Roots In The Occult, Necromancy, Demonic Spiritualism.
first-wave feminism: Information From Answers.com
http://www.theamericanview.com/index.php?id=562
Bible On line
Ephesians 5:31
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205:33%20&version=31 )
1 Corinthians 7
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%207;&version=31;)
Proverbs 31
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031%20%20;&version=31;)
Anonymous said,
May 5, 2006 at 23:07
Yeah right. You just suddenly decided to write your secular piece of garbage out of the blue?? You need to REPENT, and also you need to be more creative in the future and STOP COPYING ME!!!
annieangel said,
May 5, 2006 at 23:08
That was obviously me.
Brooks said,
May 6, 2006 at 1:54
“Oh. Have you ever seen a girl, brooks? There’s a new place in Germany, caters to people like you.”
I’ll assume the absence of any emoticon means that this is a personal attack.
I was merely stating that many people that seek attention on the internet aren’t what they say they are. I only said that I picture you as a man, that doesn’t mean that I truly believe you are. I don’t care what you are. It’s just funnier if you’re a man. It’s for my own amusement. :-)
annieangel said,
May 6, 2006 at 2:06
Well, it’s hard for me to believe that you aren’t just here trolling since my pictures are all over my blog, and it’s quite obvious from the tits that I’m a woman. Fuckwad.
Temperance said,
May 6, 2006 at 2:59
Men are … by nature more agressive than woman and therefore are wired to be the pursuer in sexual relations. That’s just the way it is.
No, annie, that is not the way it is. You just don’t have the slightest idea how to cope with the guilt beaten into your tiny head in childhood about having sexual feelings at all, so you claim that none of your feelings are aggressive or sexual. If you were honest, you’d stop blaming your own lack of self-knowledge on “the way it is” and accept the truth about yourself — which is, there’s nothing wrong or evil about having strong sexual feelings. Want to pretend you’re a delicate princess who never, ever has any of those awful desires? Fine — just don’t include me or any other normal women in your idiot fantasy.
annieangel said,
May 6, 2006 at 3:08
Of course I have desires. I’m just not a whore.
Marq said,
May 6, 2006 at 7:04
Wow–I’ve never seen Mj’ so seemingly… startled before! Well, that’s what she gets for being away for a while. The neighborhood has considerably roughened since then!
Timmah420 said,
May 6, 2006 at 7:55
No shit, it’s like the innercitynet up in here!
MJ is just sticking with her oldies, blah blah blah, god’s word, read these links, etc etc.
Jim and Brooks, you should know that we’ve mostly all sort of caught on to Annie’s act.(Check the “Busted!” thread in last month’s archive.) It’s just that she’s so adamantly, unceasingly caustic and believable. “She” provokes responses. Hell just look at her “How to [blank] a good christian [blank]” series on her website. She sure gets people talking.
I like to think, somewhere in the deep recesses of our souls, there’s a little annie angel telling you to spread the love of jesus or allah or whatever through the power of vulgarity and angry blogtrolling.
annieangel said,
May 6, 2006 at 8:28
It’s just that she’s so adamantly, unceasingly caustic and believable.
Ever think you’ve all punked yourselves into believing I’m some kind of FUCKING BRILLIANT “blogart”, “performance piece”, “satiristical”, “parodistoxical”, “ingenious”, “sexy”, LEGEND???
Ever think that you’ve overlooked the simplest explanation as to why I’m so REAL and BELIEVABLE??
But keep on making me into something I’m not. I kind of like it. It just shows the Devil knows I’m onto him, and that he’s pulling out all his tricks to cloud your minds to the truth.
I’ll pray for you all.
Timmah420 said,
May 6, 2006 at 8:42
Actually, the only thing it really shows is that in the one in a billion, slingshot around the sun chance that you really do exist as you present yourself, people are so skeptical that someone who is so bugfuck insane can exist and comment on a blog without trying to eat their modem or forgetting it all and walking around the subway with a sandwich board, reeking of urine and babbling on about the rapture, that they choose to believe you are actually a really stubborn satirist, against the odds, rather than believe someone as odious as that exists.
annieangel said,
May 6, 2006 at 19:39
I’m not odious. Everyone loves me. You’re just pissed because I banned you from my blog. Why did I ban you? Because you’re a two-faced little sneak asshole. I have no use for people like that. Most people don’t, because people like you can’t be trusted.
Laser Potato said,
May 7, 2006 at 0:36
OMG U GUYS ALL SUCK/I’M SMARTER THAN ALL OF YOU/INSERT HOLIER-THAN-THOU STATEMENT HERE!
Now, now. What would Jesus think? Or did you throw out his “blessed are the peacemakers” along with the rest of his teachings, like you wingnuts love to do? Just like the part where it says that poor people have the right to go into a farmer’s field and eat thier fill.
Liveavatar said,
May 8, 2006 at 2:35
Annieangel, you sound suspiciously like Commonreader.
My housemate directed me to this post for its own merits, but I never dreamed I’d see you here.
annieangel said,
May 8, 2006 at 3:36
And so it begins again…the accusations that I am people I’ve never heard of, from people I’ve never spoken to before.
All part of being a legend, I suppose.
I love you, SadlyNo!
elendil said,
May 8, 2006 at 8:33
I am a teacher of God’s word and and I share the good news
No way, was that really Marie Jon’? OMG!! Marie, Marie *squeel* I love you, will you sign this for me?
Liveavatar said,
May 8, 2006 at 18:15
Yep, sounds like her all right.
Either way, please, play through.
annieangel said,
May 9, 2006 at 1:53
Bad dreams in the night, told me I was going to lose the fight, leave me high in my wuthering heights Heathcliffe!!!!!
pishy40 said,
May 9, 2006 at 3:11
I hope you don’t mind one more comment from me? I wonder whose husband Marie got her information from this time to write this garbage!
Inquiring minds wanna know.
Brooks said,
May 19, 2006 at 22:36
I forgot. If there are pictures on a blog, they have to be of the author. It’s some sort of divine law, but only if you can’t see the man’s face.